Fear
A horrible crime
It was a loss of innocence
I didn't have a choice
Nobody heard my voice
Faded memories of the night
Some thing's wrong I cant even fight.
I thought I was going to die,
so heavily drugged I couldn't even cry,
I heard myself scream for help,
but nothing came out of my mouth.
In and out of consciousness
fighting my body to stay awake.
The cold floor upon my bare back,
I wake to two men violating me.
I can't move
can't fight back.
I fall back into a deep blackout..
my mind is screaming
what is happening..
Two of them pushing and prodding
having their way.
I want to go home
please take me home
I try to cry out but
nothing will come.
Next on the bed I come to
a man inside of me,
he's saying something
I can't make out.
Take me home.
I want to wake up
wake up out of this nightmare.
Why did I get in the car?
Why did I trust her
when she said they were friends?
Next I feel nudging and pushing...
"Get the hell up, its time to go",
he says.
Throwing my clothing at me
hurrying me down the stairs
in the car he shows no shame
I black out once more..
River bend is all I can say..
Take me home please.
I awake the next morning
knowing
knowing I was violated.
I used to be so clean
now I'm violated, unclean and dirty.
And the guilt is killing me,
even though its not my fault
I feel as though it is.
They made me feel a shame of myself,
all I do is blame things on myself.
Everything is my fault,
Its all my fault.
The pain I feel,
The tears of sorrow,
The things they have done to me,
They violated me
Make me feel ashamed.
Bits and pieces cross my mind
Please...erase out of my memory!!
I don't want to remember the night.
It took one night,
one night of unforgettable violence
To shatter my soul into a billion million pieces
Before I'd ever realize
Before I'd ever understand just how cruel,
damn cruel this world could be
Lost a piece of my innocence
Helped my heart to see that
I wanted to die,
I wanted to cry,
I wanted to scream for help but no one heard me,
I feel dirty.
After that night of misery
Things could never be the same.
I will never be the same
the outgoing happy,
loving person I was..
I will never be the same
physically or mentally...
especially not emotionally.
All because of them..
Copyright © Nakita Camargo | Year Posted 2008
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