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Nostalgia

The walls are talking as I walk down the old halls
the sound of the keyboard 
so late at night
the tears running down my face
the hours of my deepest emotions
The hours when people would learn the most
If only they cared to listen
The grace of my fingers 
as they speak my words

The music inside me is drowning as well
All the signs I keep ignoring

My goal is to take better care of myself
wake up feeling good every morning
proud to see myself in the mirror
to see where I was
and who I became
and what I never left behind

The feelings in my soul
Have been forgotten for a long time
How can my love and my best friend 
never see me skate
never see my sing
never see me play
never see me write
never see my poems

They're not things I'm hiding
they're just things I've let go

We've both lost joy in the things we enjoy
my old hope now is that 
we can experience each others joy together
without a fight

Go to your sports games
go to my plays
go to your concerts
go to my orchestras

Paint together
build together
walk together 
create together

We shouldn't be doing them alone anymore
That's the point of marriage
Isn't it?

Why else would you be marrying someone
If they weren't the one you wanted to spend every day with?
The one you wanted to create new memories with 
instead of trying to relive the old ones
I think we're with better people this time

I know that's one of my main objectives
I haven't thought of the future much recently
But that's what I really want to see
I can picture how I want to feel waking up every morning
I can feel what it would be like to walk in the park with you
To experience anything in nature with you 
What could be more amazing than that?

Well I know one thing
to go to bethel with you
to go to conventions and assemblies with you
to sit next to you at memorials
to do regional with you
to walk in service with you

We've been missing a lot of things
Help me get through 126 more days
Then we can start planning our future
and all of this will then become our nostalgia

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