"Geek?"....I prefer "smarter than you!"
That is a T-Shirt my daughters bought me that I am proud
to wear. They used to call me a nerd until they looked it up and the definition was less the kind.
To know who I am is to know all that I have been through in my life; but most of all it is to know that nothing in this world comes before my daughters.
I have three beautiful daughters who, at the time of this 'writing', are
20, 18, 16.
Many have the type of parents they look at as they are growing up and
say "I do not want to be like him/her" but then make no effort to avoid
that outcome; well I was not going to be one of those people. For reasons I
will mostly keep private, I chose not to be like either of my parents; realizing as a teenager that I had a lot to change to accomplish this.
As a young one I picked up trash, helped fix cars, dug holes, move
wood...whatever was needed as the second oldest but less feminine of the older girls, so I had a physical strength and a true tom-boy nature beyond most girls. I
also had a Hawaiian mother who was not familiar with the combination of
Black/Hawaiian hair so the nicknames I lived with throughout middle school were
less than nice to say the least...Chewbacca and rat's nest being the most
common. By 17 I was only angry all of the time.
I had seen and experienced far too much by this age. Not long before I made 19 I was re-introduced to someone I was familiar with in high school but had not known well and we began dating; at 20 I had my first daughter and finally knew what limitless love was. SHE was the reason I began to grow, SHE was the reason I had to find peace within myself; so that she would never know the anger that was her mother…and she never did. And with each daughter this only grew.
At this point in my life I respond to logic and reasoning, one of the reasons I enjoy conversing with my husband so much; I am no longer easily angered, unless it pertains to one of my girls, and I am very objective. Because I do not agree does not mean my perspective is right; and because your lifestyle differs from mine does not mean we cannot laugh together.
The rest, I’m afraid, is a novel for Jerry Springer and I just don’t have the time ;)