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Best Randy Johnson Poems

Below are the all-time best Randy Johnson poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Details | Randy Johnson Poem

I kissed another girl

(This is a fictional poem)

When I kissed another girl, word got back to you.
You slapped my face and told me that we're through.
Most kisses taste pretty sweet but that kiss was tart.
Now I'm all alone nursing a broken heart.
Kissing that girl was foolish and it was a mistake.
But I'll make it up to you no matter how long it takes.
I can't go on if our love is at an end.
If you'll take me back, I'll never look at another woman again.
You're the only woman who I want to be with.
So I'm on my knees begging you to forgive.


Details | Randy Johnson Poem

Chihuahua - Part IV

I've loved Agnes ever since the day that I got her.
She's the closest thing that I have to a daughter.
Since 1990, she's the only female dog that I've had.
When my former female dog died, it was very sad.

I named her after Mom and that makes her special indeed.
Agnes is a full stock Chihuahua dog, that is her breed.
She's special and unique, there can never be another.
Because she's named Agnes, it's like having a small part of my mother.

(Dedicated to Agnes, my Chihuahua dog.)


Details | Randy Johnson Poem

Cousins in love

(This poem is based on a movie I saw.)

It was tragic when two teenagers died.
They couldn't be together so they committed suicide.
They were cousins and that's why their parents kept them apart.
They decided to end it all because of their broken hearts.

The parents forbade their relationship because they were in love with each other.
They decided that they wanted to die because they couldn't be with one another.
Now their parents are all tore up inside.
They'll be in misery for the rest of their lives because of their kids suicides.


Details | Randy Johnson Poem

If Jesus was here

If Jesus was here, I'd hug him and I'd hug his father too.
When a man has them on his side, there's nothing he can't do.
Praying and having faith is all that it takes.
Worship the Lord and he will not forsake.


Details | Randy Johnson Poem

I wish I could call God

I wish I could call God on the telephone.
I'd like to talk to our maker who's sitting on his throne.
I'd like to thank him for all that he's done for me.
I'd like to thank him for letting me live in a land that's free.
I'm a man who God has blessed indeed.
God has given me everything that I need.
I'm not rich but there are other ways to be wealthy.
I have my cats, my talents and I'm healthy.
When a man has God in his life, he's ten feet tall.
I wish I could thank God personally with a phone call.


Details | Randy Johnson Poem

I believe in love a little less each day

Life can get pretty hard when relationships go astray.
I believe in love a little less each day.
Marriages used to last fifty years, now they last fifty weeks.
Couples keep breaking up even though true love is what everybody seeks.

I've gotten a lot of rejections because I don't have much money.
Everything gets dark when I begin to think it's sunny.
I have pain and anger because life goes this way.
I believe in love a little less each day.


Details | Randy Johnson Poem

God wants us to be happy

God wants us to be happy and to have fun.
I'm extremely grateful for all that he's done.
If you have faith in the Lord, you will be blessed.
Worshipping God will send you to Heaven when you're laid to rest.
If you want somebody to enrich your life, God will.
When he is a part of your life, there's no bigger thrill.


Details | Randy Johnson Poem

In God we trust

The money is correct when it says in God we trust.
Our father in Heaven loves each and every one of us.
God sure has blessed the United States.
His greatness is too much to contemplate.
We live in a world that can be vicious and cruel.
But if we put our trust in God, anything is possible.


Details | Randy Johnson Poem

Padded bra

(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM)

It was a horrible thing that I saw.
My girlfriend wears a padded bra.
Her chest is flatter than a pancake.
It made me mad because her boobs are fake.
She got excited when I started to flirt.
As she jumped up and down, the falsies came flying out of her shirt.
She was so embarrassed that her face turned red.
It was a day that she was bound to dread.
I love her and I decided to give her another chance.
I can't judge her because I always have a radiator hose in my pants.


Details | Randy Johnson Poem

A 94 year old woman kicked my ###

(This is a fictional poem)

A 94 year old woman kicked my ###.
She beat the crap out of me and left me bleeding on the grass.
Every time I got up, she knocked me down again.
She beat me really hard and I sure as hell didn't win.
The fight started when she asked me to put out my cigar.
I told her that I'd shove it up her vagina and I guess I went too far.
When she got through beating me, I had lost most of my teeth.
Now people laugh at me and all I feel is grief.


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