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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
Have you heard
about the bird
Who built a nest
with zeal and zest?
With zeal and zest
with string and straw
It was the best nest
you ever saw.
She took her time
and smoothed out the creases
Then out jumped a chipmunk
who tore it to pieces.
-1968
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2018
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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
Oh, my name is Witch's Titties
I'm the leader of the band
Tho' only two in numbers
they sag down where life is grand
They swing like gaucho's bolos
to excite your fancy balls
Can toss 'em o'er my shoulders
to go dancing up the walls
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2018
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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
Each of us have two wolves living inside us
One wants to eat burritos
and watch horror movies.
The other wants to walk about
in its underpants all day
snacking on cheetos between long naps.
The wolf that thrives is the one
who lives on with diabetes while the other
dies of a heart attack.
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2021
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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
Last night I dreamed I was weeding my vegetable garden in the Drive-in theater, while people wandered back and forth from snack bar to their cars.
While pulling weeds, I saw a banana slug and was about to squish it when I realized it had legs. It was an eight foot monitor lizard! I chased it around the grounds and finally caught it and put it in the car. Then I went back to my garden to see if that huge tiger salamander was still there. It was!
I decided to go home with the monitor and the salamander when I realized, oh no, my little dog Daigoro was in the car! I got all frightened the monitor ate him, but he was perfectly all right. The rest of the dream was trying to drive home with Daigoro under one arm so the monitor wouldn't get him.
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2018
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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
When taking a bath in the tub
The first thing you'll notice, if you stay in too long,
Is how your fingertips shrivel.
Then, as you rub and scrub,
You might see bits of skin coming off your legs and arms
And you begin to grow little.
Some children pay no attention
To the warning signs I mention;
They stay in the bathtub all afternoon,
Until they start to dissolve.
They get smaller and smaller and smaller
Until they're far too small to holler;
They get wrinklier and wrinklier and pretty soon
They've shrunk so much there's nothing left
Except a ball of wrinkled skin
Where once a healthy kid had been.
This wrinkled skin is dyed blue
And sold in the store as a prune.
"How Prunes are Made" was in Nomo the Zine, November 1991, and was reprinted in The Ratty's Gazette 8, 1995. It is a poem in the ongoing series "Lucifera's Questionable Daycare Poems and Stories."
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2018
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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
Buck buck buh-buck-buck
Buck buck buh-buck
Buck buck, buck buck, buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck.
Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buh-KAW k'buck
Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buh-KAW k'buck
Buck buck buck buck
Buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck.
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2018
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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
I can do this, I can do that
I can do anything, splicketty-splat.
I'm quite the expert, and certainly quick
Excellent service here, licketty-click.
Your toaster won't roast'er?
Your car needs repair?
I'll fix your teepee,
your sofa and chair
I'll cure your doggy
of fleas, lice, and pox
I'll wash your diapers,
your windows, your socks.
I'm inexpensive, and fast as a wink
Available any time, blinkity-blink.
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2018
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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
Bring me a child to eat
I'm too weak to stand on my feet
All I need is meat
So bring me a child to eat.
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2018
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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
My name is Spenser
No dog is denser
I'm not well smarted
But I'm big hearted
If you was hurted
I'd be alerted
And I'll come racing
To lick your facing.
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2018
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Jessica Amanda Salmonson Poem
In the wet garden this morning, I saw a teeny tiny woman made of leaves and herbs, with the orange bloom of a woodland poppy for a hat. When she realized I'd seen her, she hopped behind the slim stem of a trillium. When I bent down to get a better look at what the devil that really was, there was nothing there.
-May 11, 2011
Copyright © Jessica Amanda Salmonson | Year Posted 2018
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