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Best Poems Written by Dialectic Crisis

Below are the all-time best Dialectic Crisis poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

A Few Things To Consider Before Brown-Nosing In My Presence

1) I hate brown-nosers far more than I hate most other nosers 
of virtually any known color!

2) I will make it a point to slap you in front of your superiors,
with a biblical fury, the likes of which, would make Mary Magdalene blush with fits of giggles!
  
3) You will proceed to cry, even though I didn't actually hurt you; because I slap like a girl - In solidarity for all the girls who slap like me, in what I can only imagine is our previously unspoken solidarity for physical comedy; and then you'll get angry when everyone (including the girls) calls you a whiner 

Here comes the ever charming,
never failing, always smiling,
company man:
Sure would like the career opportunity 
to slap away that stupid grin
from the smugly disproportionate face
of the man with a plan 
that doesn't entail fellowship, 
or even good sportsmanship 
to wage earners and their dependents.
He wouldn't throw himself under the buss
to help a desperate family climb out of their rut
- But this doesn't necessarily mean 
he doesn't consider himself a Christian:
It only explains why he isn't a very good one!

He's everyone's favorite scab, 
just waiting to happen
behind the broken backs
of his fellow working-class 
- And the boss, 
he grows overconfident in his role,
because the boss, he knows, 
he can always count on him:
For laboring after a fashion,
to keep on blindly hauling in 
the treasures held within;
where their bloodstained corraborating hands 
have martyrized the honest working man!

To liken him to Judas Iscariot 
would be so embarrassingly easy for me!
Comparing his usefulness to deadwood 
would be like breathing some new life 
directly into his falsehood!
This poster child for infanticide 
is but another lickspittle squire,
graciously content with inane servitude;
craving his coveted knighthood!
Just another fool of his own undoing,
being consumed by his selfish desire!
Not a single ounce of class consciousness 
and even less in terms of self-awareness;
good for absolutely nothing 
- If he's good enough for something 
of such momentousness!

Transmuted by reification 
to be made into a mere thing 
of the poorest possible social habits:
Locked in a perpetual motion,
Spun up on an off-kilter axis,
subscribed to an endless routine 
of massive excess that suits the boss's interests; 
in his own shortsighted eyes,
he is the money making machine of free enterprise
- To the vitality of the workforce 
he is but a cancerous growth, 
needing to be expunged from its host!

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

Existentially Deconstructing the Knock-Knock Joke Into the Perfect Moral Tale

"Knock-Knock!" - Who's there?
"Diaphragms!" - Diaphragms who?
"Diaphragms...Don't always seem to work...
...I don't know how else to tell you this...
...So I am just gonna say it 
as politically correct
and incorrectly apolitical 
as I've been reprogrammed to speak
by The Disney Company:
"Luke, I am your sperm donor!"
- I sure hope I don't disappoint you as much 
as George Lucas disappoints God and such..."

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

A Regretful Dream Awaking To Find It Has Slept With Pop Culture All Over Again

I sat at a table
It was a table for one;
There was a mirror
And a pay phone

Seated at the head,
They had all brazenly said:
"This, is ahead of its time"
- Then someone with an agenda 
Started forming the lines,
Behind ulterior motives 
To be the first to capitalize.

And pretty soon, 
With the grand accessories 
Of these mock identities,
We were all just living cartoons;
While our petty self-image 
Obfuscated the truth
- There was only one presence,
Beneath the mask of our skin,
An emptiness of being,
Void of existential meaning.

Within the inner circle of youth culture,
Someone passed through
Something was familiar; nothing seemed new...
...Not to sound jaded by age
- But I've seen more recent advancement 
In the Police State 
Than I have in the common man as of late
- I guess some things really do never change?

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

Self-Identity As a Self-Made Predicament, Or, More Fun With Socratic Irony

An insane System by any other name
Should still be considered simply insane

A prison by any other name
Could well be the throne 
Of a primitivist's brain

A lifestyle by any other name
Would prefer to be called a "subculture"

A truth by any other name
May well be an early grave
After passing around 
A bit of the blame

- Do we really wanna play this same game?
Again and again?
Just for the sake of its colloquial name?

Wait-Wait-Wait!
Don't shoot me yet! 
I request a fancy blindfold and a pre-lit cigarette:
I want to look super cool 
Without a single regret, 
When the firing squad executes me
For being such an absurdly passive threat;
Otherwise,
Honestly,
It will feel like I've squandered 
Another golden opportunity...
...And obviously,
I couldn't possibly try to live
After something like this...

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

Schizoid Does Sound Like a Funny Word: But As Schizophrenics, We Find It To Be Terribly Offensive

My psyche's playground
Is a horrific landscape:
There is no escape 
From the snagging cleft
Of its jagged inlay,
As steep as a million years of seeping blood
Coagulated through coldheartedness 
Confusion and subterfuge 
- It's like coming home when your lover's asleep,
Or breaking a promise by taking a peek; 
Personal experience tells me, 
That right about now, 
It is nearly
time for me 
To take my extended leave...

...Can we keep this between you and me, 
Exclusively?
I never really liked you very much anyway; 
But why should we let something like that
Stand in our way?
And try and hold us back?
Or stop us from running away?
Maybe even together (someday) 
But not necessarily on the same planet...

...Is this a joke? 
A poem? 
Or an insult? 
I don't think I get it?
I really cannot be expected 
To know the correct answers 
To these specific types
Of metaphysical questions;
Yet...
...That's what makes me an artist...well, isn't it?

What are you?! - A friggin' idiot?!
Don't answer that: 
I was just starting to like you, 
Even though, it is true what they say: 
I do think you are incredibly stupid 
Considering your unexpected age...
...But we can still be fair-weather friends
Whenever it isn't raining again...Is it just me?
Or is it always raining these days?    

I can evoke a joke or a poem 
From almost any known substance
Comparable to injustice!
So why then, won't anyone pay me for my poetry?!                                  
Is it because I'm still drinking too heavily?
Somebody, anybody
- Seriously, please; just kill me

# They call this "topical" humor, but I still don't get it...
...And I feel like I'm running out of time to "get-with-it"
- Any suggestions would be appreciated....

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

The Right To Be Lazy As a Virtue

Whenever in the company of his trusted friends
St. Paul Lafargue had always said:
"I sure hope I never get a sainthood someday
- That would be supremely lame for an atheist
 In any day and age."
The man was modestly honest - If not honestly modest 
So I did everything I possibly could
To make sure we would celebrate his feast day,
Every-single-friggin-day!

I ran all the way straight to Vatican City,
Where I skinned all which remains 
Of my horrendously disfigured knees 
After tripping over my own two feet and half a sheet of LSD
- That's when I said: "Serves me right for not taking it easy."

"Jesus I'm witty!" I was nervously thinking,
as I picked broken grass 
and bubble gum 
Out from under 
My gaping wounds - "My God, 
I don't have any time for this modern-day humdrum!"
I defiantly said as I proceeded ahead 
Demonstrating little more concern 
For my previously acquired gangrene 
Than I did for my recently sustained ruptured spleen...

...So to make a long-story painlessly short 
And to keep all threats of (comedic) violence 
Condensed to a marginal fault,
All that I really had to say was this: 
"So; How about it? What do ya say?"
- After smashing up the whole place 
With a couple of my favorite teamsters
- And that was just about that! 
Paul Lafargue had been canonized 
All for a philosophical laugh!
- I must've cracked every single situational gag
His Holiness had been expecting to be pulled 
Straight outta my brimstone hat! 
I guess it's true what I hear everybody say:
The Pope is behaving far too liberal these days.

So the next time the stupid boss comically asks:
"Why is you writin'?! - Why ain't 'cha workin'?!"
Tell them as many times over as it may take
Until it fully absorbs into their tyrannical brain:
"I refuse to work when I don't really wanna;
It comes on like a hunger, sometime, after lunchtime."

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

Local Observations: Humorous Or Otherwise

I thank God for every idiot 
Who I come to meet;
Because idiots remind me,
It can never be too late 
For me to use a different street, 
Where I can find myself some much needed peace.

I thank God for every idiot 
Who I come to meet;
Because quite honestly,
Without idiots in my life
I'd only discuss philosophies, most of the time.

I thank God for every idiot 
Who I come to meet,
Because that's called comedy;
Sorry it wasn't a comedy that's actually funny 
- It really all depends on how you look at tragedy... 
...Now that's how ya make some pretty decent comedy!
The Comedian Assassinated by Apollinaire!

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

Don'T Blame Me: I Never Gave My Consent To Be Governed

Auguste Blanqui was correct to assert
"Revolutionaries aren't born, they are made"
They're being made everyday, but Sunday,
At the hands of a corrupt State, 
One they've tirelessly helped to create 
- If we are to become its product 
What then can be expected of change?

In a world full of self-made victims 
Responsible for their own problems 
- Brutality, usury, 
indoctrination and assimilation: 
The end results of our inaction!
Don't tell me about the problems
Try explaining how you never saw this coming!

Complain about the times 
And I will come to remind, 
time and time again:
"You have no one but yourself 
to shower with your blame;
For being seduced by the corrupting ways
of an inhuman system 
by subjugating yourself 
with the oath of a vote to its authoritarian state."
- And them right there is "fightin' words" in a "civilized world!"

Don't bemoan about the awful smell
After building your own jail cell; 
Otherwise, 
Don't tell me: 
"If you don't vote don't complain." 
- Because these two things 
are very much the same...

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

Introducing, New - Diet Dr Dishwater: a Manifesto For a New Kind of Nihilist

What's the point of Dr. Dishwater? 
Well, what's the point of anything? 
The only thing that appears 
to have a concrete purpose 
is my car key 
- And I haven't been able to afford a car in years!

Dr. Dishwater emphatically rejects anything 
that is not dishwater, 
and fully supports anything that is: 
And that's how we'll keep the human race
pure of interbreeding 
(with the always friendly faces of "eugenics" 
and "Social-Darwinism" as our watchwords.) 

The better you understand something, 
the more like dishwater 
it turns out to be: 
In a triple blind taste test 
- I preferred Dr. Dishwater 
to having my eyes yanked from their sockets 
(even while under general anesthetic.)

Dr. Dishwater says,
"Don't be fooled into thinking 
there has to be a reason 
for everything"
 - Because you'll buy whatever we tell you to: 
Dishwater or not!

Dr. Dishwater reveals the surprising truth 
about people and situations 
- Just add a little dishwater 
and they're pretty much all the same...

...Dr. Dishwater does not subscribe to any religion,
or endorse any political party, 
or do anything other than dishwater 
- Those who disagree must be illegal aliens.

There is no real secret to feeling dishwater 
- But if one is foolish enough to drink Dr. Dishwater
while visiting Seattle, 
their stomach will explode!

Dr. Dishwater may be the preferred drink 
of other people 
such as yourself
 - If you're anything like other people 
and the situations they find themselves in 
with dishwater.

Never overestimate the remarkable abilities 
of Dr. Dishwater brand soda 
- Try 'new' Diet Dr. Dishwater instead: 
You'll swear you're drinking genuine dishwater, 
at only half the calories!

Please wake up every morning 
knowing that things are going to be dishwater 
- They had better be, or you'll get diabetes!

Details | Dialectic Crisis Poem

Survival of the Fittest Versus Mutual Aid

*Round One of an anticipated Twelve Round Bout*
With Special Guest Referee: Pyotr Kropotkin  
And Everyone's Favorite Ring Girl: Leo Tolstoi 
Postproduction by: Herbert Spencer and Rupert Murdoch
---//---

I'm gonna toss you away 
To the crocs someday,
- And that's when I'll say: 
"Try surviving through this!"
"Without receiving my aid!"
"If you think you're so 'fit' - Why not try to prove it?!"

I'm sure you're gonna say:
"Bu-bu-bu!"
"But wait! "
"I don't even know the difference between 
'Darwin's theories on evolution' 
and 'Social Darwinism'!"
- To which I'll likely refrain:
"Yeah-yeah-yeah; 
That's what they always claim,
When they have one foot stuck in a mouth
And another foot bound for the grave..."