|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
*Author's note. This one was inspired by some lovely yet sad pics by the artist destinyblue. This was very sad and emotional for me to write. Here's the pics that inspired this. Hope you enjoy the poem.
http://t01.deviantart.net/PT4gysSpsSUExkUce60aKwsl3Ps=/300x200/filters:fixed_height(100,100):origin()/pre03/49a7/th/pre/i/2012/292/f/4/behind_the_smile_____by_destinyblue-d5ibfov.jpg
http://t06.deviantart.net/OR87RThVOWvGdS2hbtAXGDJeVmI=/300x200/filters:fixed_height(100,100):origin()/pre02/50ab/th/pre/i/2012/197/4/6/i__m_fine___lineart_by_destinyblue-d4yvarw.jpg
http://destinyblue.deviantart.com/art/Depression-534485738
What do we see when we look at people?
Oft times people say seeing is believing
Yet what they see most is but a mask
A stoic impassive face, seemingly emotionless
A gentle smile that doesn't reach the eyes
A quiet gentle voice saying I'm okay
We oft take these at face value
And believe the lie of the mask
But what would happen I wonder
If we were to dig a little deeper
And watch a little longer
What I have seen too oft
As I've searched a little deeper
Is a lonely heart beneath
The exterior mask they wear
They might be saying "I'm alright"
In a quiet tender voice.
Yet as I've watched them carefully
I've seen a trembling hand.
The mask hides our deepest hurts
And our most bitter memories.
They say on the outside "I'm okay."
When inside they're saying "Save me."
Tis the world that teaches us
To hide behind the mask
Boys are told while very young
“Big boys don’t cry”,
“Crying is weakness”,
Girls are told while still a child
“Crying is manipulative”,
“Don’t cry, they’ll laugh at you”
What we most fear as little ones
Is the mocking jests and jeers
Of the people around us
We learn to keep our tears inside
And say within ourselves in pain
“Maybe tomorrow will be a better day”
Thus we see the sad tale
Of a world filled with people
Being taught to wear
The mask of loneliness
I pray that we may have the eyes to see
Beneath that cheerful mask
And see that lonely soul inside
That needs a friend, a kind word spoken
And that we may have the ears to hear
The painful cries of the soul beneath
When they say the words “I’m fine.”
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2016
|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
"I love you."
Three important words
To show how we feel.
Too oft spoken
And not meant
Or too little spoken
When it is meant.
To cherish one you love
Is a noble ambition
And oft under-appreciated.
To let someone know
The place they hold
Deep within your heart.
If we knew how long we had
To be with our loved ones
And it was only a day
Would we still hesitate
And waste the time away?
Regret is what will come our way
If we kept our feelings hidden.
For once gone, tis hard to heal
The hole of loved ones dear.
Tis something I have heard
From others who've suffered loss
"I am no longer whole,
I've lost a precious part.
They've taken with them
A piece of my heart."
So would we rather ache
From not sharing
Our deepest feelings?
Or would we rather say
With utmost sincerity
Those three simple words?
And even though
We may not know
The time that does remain
We can share those words
That our heart does contain.
"I love you."
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2016
|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
*Author's note. Just my interpretation on what I think would happen to me if I were to start telling lies.
I once told a lie
Which led to one
after another
Being told
And before I knew it
I was lost in my lies
I'd wake up in the morning
Look at myself in the mirror
And see a stranger,
Wearing my clothes
There began to be
truth in my lies
And lies in my truth
The two had become connected
And intertwined so tightly
That I had lost sight of who I was
Somehow, somewhere
Lost in my lies,
I'd lost my identity.
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2016
|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
*Author's note
Cute fun poem instead of my usual serious stuff. I've been told that this was more of a Iambic style poem by a friend that helped to add a few words here and there to make the poem flow more. If I'm mistaken, then please tell me the correct form that my poem is. Anyways, Enjoy :)
Fluffy kitty,
Sleepy kitty,
Little ball of fur;
Patting gently,
Scritching softly,
Listen to the purr.
Dangle string and
Watch it swing,
See the kitty sway;
Eyes will follow,
Mind goes hollow,
Focused on its prey.
Feel legs bunch and
Muscles coil,
See the kitty pounce;
She stands aloof,
With string in mouth,
Oh, that prideful flounce!
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2017
|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
Warning, this describes a lot of my thoughts and feelings with regards to a time when I was in a very dark place. I've called this poem Lack of Purpose. You'll see why if you read it. I hope this helps some people become aware of what it can feel like to be depressed and suicidal. I won't tell you to enjoy it, because it's not really meant to be enjoyed.
Lack of Purpose
People will often ask children,
What do you want to do,
When you grow up.
It's very common.
Children from a young age
Are encouraged and told
To find a goal, a dream
To make their very own.
Some excel at it, driven.
And then there are others
that drift through life
And struggle to take hold
To find a dream, a goal
To make come true,
"I don't know what I want to do."
Is something I often said.
And yet, without that dream
Without that goal, to obtain
People begin to lose purpose
They begin to question life,
Their very existence even.
"Why was I born?"
"I'm nothing special."
We begin to feel lost
Loss of hope for the future.
We begin to question
Our self worth,
What we can offer to the world
And sometimes, we think
Can I even do anything?
We doubt our abilities
And eventually believe
That we are worthless.
These questions can lead to the dark
It's these questions that spark
The cold depression inside
The loneliness and despair
So eager a victim to find
At this point, we realise
That we are lost, without direction
Lost, and don't know where to go
And so, lost we remain.
Circling around and around inside
The vicious dark cycle begins.
We may try to find some light
Some small spark or flame
To light our dreary darkness
Some succeed, some do not.
Our thoughts become our prison
Shackled by our pain, doubt and fear
Lost deep, within the prison of the mind
Hollow, empty, but a shell of a person.
Conversation with others becomes dull
We begin to feel disconnected, alienated.
And even though we have loved ones
To watch and care for us
We begin to feel like we are a burden
We begin to think that the world
Would be a better place without us.
And eventually, we feel that nothing
Will ever change these feelings inside
At this point, we contemplate suicide.
Some are strong enough, put the knife down
And say inside themselves,
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
Yet others, crumble and precious life is lost.
And to think that at the end of the day
It all started with a lack of purpose.
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2017
|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
Fire, the breath of the mountain
Ice, the coldness hidden within
Intertwining together throughout the ages
Twisting and turning, the fire flickers
Still and solid, the ice waits
Opposites, yet the truth lies within
Mountains, seemingly the only place
Where the two can co-exist
Yet reality tells another story
Within each of us,
Lies the real fire and ice
Fiery passions, within us burn
Icy thoughts, hard and cold
Mind and heart
Heart and mind
Deeply hidden
Is the fire within the ice,
And the ice within the fire
Ruled by the heart
Or ruled by the mind
Rulers of each
Or Rulers of none.
Beware the one ruled by either
‘Tis not for man or woman
To be ruled
But for man and woman
To rule themselves
Emotion, human and warm
Logic, hard and cold
To be ruled by emotion
Is to risk being burned
To be ruled by logic
Is to risk a frozen heart
Balance in nature
Balance within
Find the fire within the ice
And the ice within the fire
Controlling both
Only then will we find ourselves.
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2016
|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
*Author's note. I wrote this after watching the 2004 movie man on fire and wrote the feelings that I felt the main character Creasy had throughout the movie. Enjoy :)
I was in the deepest darkness
Hands stained with blood
I was but a shell of a man
Living my life day by day
I had nothing to live for
Saddened by the life I'd led
Tired of the life I lead
Yet I don't know how to end it
One day I told my best friend
"I'm tired of killing, Ray."
He offered me a bodyguard job
And it was then that I met her.
A little girl by the name Pita
The girl I was hired to protect
She tried to get close to me
But I pushed her away.
A nun at her school once asked me
"Do you ever see the hand of God
In what you do?"
I replied no, not in a long time.
She then quotes the bible to me.
"Be not overcome of evil."
"But overcome evil with good."
To which I replied with sadness
"I am the sheep that got lost, Madre."
Not knowing how else to deal
With the hand life had dealt me
I turned to the bottle to drown in
And eventually remembered words
That me and Ray had always used.
"A bullet always tells the truth."
With those words ringing in my ears
I grab my gun, put it to my head
And pull the trigger, click.
Confusion enters my mind
The gun did not go off
I did not understand why.
I go outside in the rain
And see her face in the window
Maybe now is not my time to die
I continue bodyguarding Pita
And slowly she wore me down
I could not turn away anymore
From her bright light
And soon, I grew to love her
She taught me that I could live again
My life, once filled with darkness
Has been filled with light and hope
I was the saddest of men
Now I am filled with happiness
My days filled with laughter
She was the one that saw it
The sadness deep inside me
And slowly she took it away
One day as I was protecting her
I notice some men going to take her
I tell her to run quickly
I begin shooting the men
Before I know it, I've killed four
But then, I too am shot
I lose consciousness
I wake in a hospital
She's gone, I thought to myself.
The kidnappers had killed her
Her mother asked what I'll do
"I'm gonna kill them.
Anybody that was involved
Anybody that profited from it
Anybody that opens their eyes at me
I'm gonna kill them."
Filled with wrathful rage
At the light being taken
My one bright light gone
I have become a man on fire
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2016
|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
Acceptance
For those considered not normal,
There is only one thing
That is desired of others.
And that is acceptance
Yet the opposite is mostly given
Shunned, excluded and bullied
We despair late at night
And wonder, "what is wrong with me?"
As we lie there in the dark
Our tears spill upon our pillows.
We learn to stay safe,
To fade into the background
You might see us you know,
Standing on the sidelines
Watching with envy
The groups of friends
Spread throughout
We try to do our best
To fit in, to blend
Yet our uniqueness
Our differences
Make that impossible
We try to make conversation
With those considered normal
And what we get from them
Is a gaze that has a hidden message
"Why are you talking to me?"
"I don't accept you."
Saddened by them
We crawl back there
To the background
Where we feel safe
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2016
|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
"Sticks and stones
Will break my bones
But words will never hurt me."
One of the biggest lies
known to mankind.
The power of words
Is a two-edged sword
On one side,
it can uplift,
motivate and inspire.
Cheer and give us joy.
Soothe and heal us
Yet at the same time
The words spoken
From the lips of man
Can bring forth
The greatest sorrow.
Physical wounds leave
A visible mark
Yet the wounds
inflicted by words
Leaves no visible trace.
Harsh anger and bitterness
Wound the soul
Spiteful lying words
Said behind someone's back
Can ruin a person.
Take care with your words
For they can damage
The people around you
Words sharp as daggers
Leave the deepest of wounds
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2016
|
Details |
Caleb Lawrence Poem
Battle within my Mind
Day by day
I live my life
Somehow, someway
Filled with toil and strife
You're back again
That little voice
Oh what a strain
When I wish to rejoice
I'm pulled back down
To a very dark place
Is this what it feels like to drown?
I feel like I've vanished without a trace
Some never know
The battle I face inside
Oh how I wish to show
My sadness on the outside
That little voice makes me feel small
When all I wish is to feel tall
My anxiousness fills me with shame
I wish to conquer it, to make it tame
It seems like when I take one step forward
The little voice makes me take two steps back
I wish I had some defence, a shield, a ward
As all that agony within begins to stack
That smug little voice whispers within my ears
"You're worthless," and plays upon all my fears
"Nobody loves you and nobody will",
The voice cries out with glee
I try to drown it out and make it still,
How I wish that voice would just flee.
Sometimes I message all my friends,
As the voice whispers it'll never be.
One minute, a few days, my hearts begins to rend
I wait for the response, with loneliness inside.
As the voice taunts "I told you so", viciously
At times I feel so weak to the voice, and so I try to hide
I feel its smugness whenever it feels victory
To make things worse, that sound within my mind
Is the melody I hear daily, of my own voice
Being used to put me in a miserable bind
At times, it seems like I have no choice
Paralyzed inside and don't know how to move
As I seemingly dance to the voice's groove
Oh how I wish to purge it, and leave it all behind
But sadly, I cannot run from the battle within my mind.
Copyright © Caleb Lawrence | Year Posted 2017
|
|