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Maddie Lee Poem
I stare at your grave, wishing I got to meet you
Every time your name is said, mom cries missing you
The boys don’t even know who you are
How is anyone expected to explain the very short life you lived?
I wish I got to meet you
Every sunrise and sunset reminds me of you, even though I’ve never met you
Mom always said you had the brightest red hair and the most brilliant blue eyes and had freckles dashed across your face
I wish I got to meet you I could tell you so much
I could introduce you to all my friends, you would get along so well with them
Some are even family now
I wish I got to meet you
We could do all the things siblings do
You’d know all my secrets and I’d know all of yours
You’d protect me and I’d protect you
You would be the one I could trust the most
I wish I got to meet you
Even though you’re not here, you know my biggest secret
The day it happened, you were there for me and you’ll always be there for me
That’s what siblings are for, right?
Hardly anyone knows it happened but you do, not even mom
He still haunts my dreams laughing at me, saying no one will ever believe me
But you believe me, you were there when it happened
You are my rock and my savior, you keep my head on straight
I wish I got to meet you
I love you my amazing older sister, I wish I got to meet you my darling Angela
Copyright © Maddie Lee | Year Posted 2016
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Maddie Lee Poem
The one thing I wanted to be the most
The one thing I wanted parents to think of me
The one thing I will never be to my director
The one thing I waited for my entire life
The one thing I would never be to him
The one thing I would never be to anyone
The one thing I wish I could be
The one thing they would never see me as
Copyright © Maddie Lee | Year Posted 2016
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Maddie Lee Poem
Why is it that my heart clenches every time I see a picture of you?
Or hear your name?
Or think of you?
Is it because I still think of the promises you made?
The ones you broke without a second thought
How you said you would be willing to make things work even though there’s a big distance between us
You said I wasn’t a fling
You said you had feelings
You said everything felt right
You said you wanted something serious
You said I made you happy
You said…you said…you said…
Something changed in you, you became a different person
Keeping me at arm’s length away, pushing me out, keeping things from me
At first, I couldn’t think of what I’d done, what I had done wrong
I wanted to fix things, I wanted to make things work, I had fallen so hard for you I didn’t want to give up
But it wasn’t up to me
December 21st is the last time I saw you, you said I’d see you before you left home
But history repeats itself and you didn’t keep your word
You went home early, I offered to drive 3 hours to see you for New Years
You refused, your buddies were more important
You kept pushing me away, I still don’t know why
Was I too young for you? Was I too clingy? Did I live too far? Was I too close to your sister? Did I fall too fast?
Maybe it’s not really me, maybe it’s you
You want me out of your life and I’ll do the best I can
But I’ll tell you what you told me
The last thing you’ll probably ever say to me
Maybe this will be all that I remember of you
OK Bye
Copyright © Maddie Lee | Year Posted 2019
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Maddie Lee Poem
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
Slurs pass through their lips
Laughter is heard between them
Yet no one directly calls me slurs so no one can help
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
Go kill yourself you’re worthless you deserve to die
They start saying things to me
Do you really hate me that much?
What have I done to you?
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
Words heard over and over again
Maybe they’re right
Maybe I am
Am I really a freak?
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
Everyone else is happy, why can’t I be?
No one even seems to notice me anymore
I should have seen this coming
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
No one cares about you any more
Just do it
No one will notice you’re gone
No one will care you’re gone
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
Things start to get physical
Pushed into lockers, my books in the trash
Teachers turn their heads
Kids laugh at the pain
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
Everything only gets worse, I cry myself to sleep every night
Scars line my arms, bones visible through my skin
Teachers see the signs but do nothing
Maybe no one really cares
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
5, 10, 15 pills lined up on the counter with a bottle of Captain Morgan
20, 30, 40 cuts on my thighs
Countless bruises covering my body
Hatred filled with every sip of the burning alcohol going down my throat
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
Swallowing one pill after another
Blood dripping down my arms and legs
No one would care that I would be gone
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
The world starts spinning and I hit the floor
I feel my head and heart pounding
Everything starts turning black
My only wish is that I knew what I did wrong
What I did to deserve their hate
One more pill one more cut one more bruise one more drink
Copyright © Maddie Lee | Year Posted 2016
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Maddie Lee Poem
You’ll never know but you’re all I can think about.
You’ll never know but I love you with all my heart.
You’ll never know that the safest place in the world is in your arms.
You’ll never know that just hearing from you makes my day.
You’ll never know how warm your smile makes me feel
You’ll never know how much I really enjoy seeing you.
You’ll never know because I can’t bring myself to tell you.
I shouldn’t be in love with you.
But here I am, longing to be with you. How do I tell you without driving you away?
You’re my best friend, my confidant, my rock. There’s never a day I’m not grateful for having you in my life.
You know I love you
You know I appreciate you with all my heart
You know I care about you deeply
You know there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you
I’ll never say anything because you don’t love me that way and I respect that
But I’ll always be your best friend
I’ll always be by your side
Even if it means watching you love someone else
Even if it means hearing all about her
How your eyes light up when you talk about her
How you smile any time she gets brought up
How happy she makes you
I’d rather be completely heartbroken than see you unhappy
You deserve all the happiness in the world
Maybe one day I’ll move on but today is not that day
No matter what, I’ll always love you
And when you move away, you’ll still be on my mind
I can’t expect you to stay here forever.
We both know this town is just a stepping stone for both of us
You want Chicago, D.C., New York, Seattle
I want Houston, Dallas, Orlando, Myrtle Beach
You want at least one PhD
I want to get my bachelor’s and be done
You want kids, someone to make a legacy with
I can’t have kids, nor do I want them
Your True Color is green, mine is blue
Your Love Language is words of affection, mine is physical touch
We’ve always been opposites and we butt heads sometimes
But it makes us who we are, best friends through the best and worst times of our lives
Through thick and thin, to hell and back
I love you, forever and always
Copyright © Maddie Lee | Year Posted 2019
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