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Brittany Askins Poem
Do not stand
At my grave and cry
I’m no longer there
But in the sky
My body is restful
And my mind is a drift
The thought of a heaven
Is all but a bliss
I’m lost in the sunlight
I’m playing in the grass
And I realize heaven
Is earth at our last
So do not stand
At my grave and cry
I am not there
I did not die…
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2016
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Brittany Askins Poem
Mute, and bitter silence
Is all I’ll ever hear
For this emptiness confines me
And makes me pull my hair
I cannot forget him
For he took the last of my heart
I will always miss him
My brain all torn apart
I hope I get visited
That my parents once again
Come see their lonesome daughter
In this insane asylum
It gets pretty boring
Sitting in this padded chair
But useless I try roaring
Because they have taken away my air
I guess I will go now
For my nurse has come with my meds
I will be pretty bored now
That I lost my only friend
I hope you come and see me again
But of course you’ll be here soon
For my little friend up in my head
Me and him share a room
We share our padded chair
And we sneak in little breaths
They try to take away my friend
But the meds wear off instead
So only for a couple hours
I’ll have to sit by myself
For my little friend
Will surely come out
And start talking again
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2016
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Brittany Askins Poem
Can I just rewind time? Go back to when I was nothing more than happy. To when sadness didn't invade the last thoughts I had. How do you achieve that back? Try to make your life better. And all it does is get worse. How do you be happy? How can you live, knowing that you'll never be as happy as you were. You don't. You trudge along life trapped in the motions. Going with the crowd and being a slave to life's formidable ways? Or do you accept society's drugs. Give in to the pills and become one of the hundreds of zombies that no longer have the art in them that they had before. How do you accomplish your goals when your own mind is telling you, you'll fail in everything you do. But what if you stay that way. What if your illness is your strength. Look at history, all of the most famous writers and artist had a mental illness. But I'll never be them because my own thoughts stop me from showing my art pieces, or reading you my poetry that I love to write. How do you manage to go on through life feeling like nothing.
Well that's the thing, you can't. You can't win every race. You can't be the best writer in the world. Or paint a million dollar art piece. Because to do that you have to befriend your own demons. Because to do that you have to give up part of your own mental sanity. And worse you give up that small piece of who you once were. And the one thing no one will ever take from me is my name. So I'll hide behind a new facade and play life's never ending game. Because I won't be one of you. Because I refuse to let my demons win. Because I'll stay one step ahead of my own demons. Because I'll run and never stop running from the things that take away my happiness. Because I want to laugh in the sun, and dance in the rain. I want to live life knowing that I can make it through the day with whatever life throws at me. And I want to know that I won't do it alone. That I'll have the support of people. But that's not the case, it's never that simple. To others I'm perfectly fine, I smile all the time. But that's the thing... you've never seen me smile in pure happiness because it's easier to throw on a smile that's fake. But you thinks it's real cause it's the only thing you ever see. And you'll only ever see that because when I told you I needed help. That I was drowning in a unseen force of darkness. You told me I was just over dramatic. And that hurt. A lot. But that's okay, because you might have gave my demons a new way to torture my mind. But I know that somewhere out in the world. Someone is going through what I'm going through, and they made it through the day, so I can do it too. That I'll be okay, even if my own demons tell me I won't. Because the sun will rise again, and I'll be there to rise with it above the darkness.
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2017
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Brittany Askins Poem
Suicide
A seven letter word
It means die
Everyone has heard at one time
It ends a life by knife, gun, or rope tied
It’s caused from pain
Guilt or suffering
It goes into the brain
And never ends
You can talk yourself out
But it doesn’t dismiss
The thought of your own death
It’s something no one can resist
Many die from the hurt
They end their lives
Such a complex matter
They cannot end
They hide
Unless for a bullet
A knife put in place
They get tormented
Tears hidden by the rain
People try and try
To save them again
But nothing can stop
The hurt that they feel
Not even for the smallest little pill
The doctors and nurses
That try and try
Cannot save them
For they are no longer alive
They died years ago
And lost their souls
Their path to heaven
A road they must go alone
On their way to heaven
They suddenly learn
That heaven was around them
The entire time
But the devil had their eyes
Deceived them blindly
And made then lose view
Of the loved ones and friends
That they will all lose
For they weren’t themselves
They had lost
Their life to the pain
The hurt and the sorrow
But they shall not feel
Pain anymore
For they have no senses
They are not on earth
Their bodies below
And their hearts above
They belong in the stars
That’s where they are
To bless us sweet dreams
And hide in the clouds
To watch us from above
And guide us to
The right passage ways
To keep us safe from the devils ways
They let the thought
Overwhelm their brains
And now they are lost to the sky’s hands
So when you see rain drops
Just think they are tears
Because they can’t help the bullied
They just end up there
Their shouts of thunder and lightning flash
They try to warn them
Run fast
Think different of suicide
Think different of pain
Do us a favor
Don’t cut your wrist again
Don’t beat up yourself
Suicide is the worst you can do
And it’s not the last option
It’s something you choose
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2016
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Brittany Askins Poem
You brighten my days
You darken my nights
You create beauty at every sight
You make the waves the roll in
You make the wind blow out
You put me here
You let me go
You up my tears in the sky
You make my frowns into a smiles
You are the creator of the waves
You are the dying light
You are like a candle
Dull but there
You flicker and go out because of thin air
But what you don’t realize
Is that I’ll be right here
While you are the sky
And you’re stuck up there
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2016
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Brittany Askins Poem
Small, fragile, icy cold
Drifting softly, coming close
Crafted uniquely, just to see
Nature’s beauty for you and me
Some are big, some are small
Watch them closely, look how they fall
See their figure, see their shape
Don’t touch them though
For they will fade away
Our body heat is much too strong
For these little objects to land on
They lay atop of the ground
Over and over, all around
They grow so magnificently
To just melt away
A work of are doesn’t fit in place
The beauty fades as the temperatures rise
The snowflakes are gone
Winters goodbyes.
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2016
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Brittany Askins Poem
She looks away
She hides inside
The feelings fade
As her dreams collide
Her smiles gone, her faith is dying
Everything’s went wrong
Is it even worth trying?
She gave it her all
She’ll never fit in
Cinderella without the ball
A girl with no friends
No one see’s the pain, a world doesn’t care
It’s just a game
She’ll take the dare
You don’t see this girl
For she hides in me
A delicate pearl, no one will ever see
Buts it’s okay if she hurts
For you don’t live with the pain
The hardest part, is the worlds to blame
Don’t cry for her
No one ever did before
What’s different now?
You finally noticed her?
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2016
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Brittany Askins Poem
White, thin, and light
Are small words to describe
Those magnificent objects
Drifting in the sky
Wild and free
Calm and stormed
Wash down to earth
Only to be reborn.
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2016
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Brittany Askins Poem
When did it change
When did it start
When did my image
Become more important than my heart
When did it flurry
When did it snow
When did my hair color
Become something to show
When did makeup cover my face
And clothing was needed to feel put in place
When did my image
Change for another’s thought
When did I become
Someone I’m not.
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2016
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Brittany Askins Poem
Life and death
What to decide
A heaven and hell
And both hide
Bright and loving
Dark and bold
One is above
One is below
How to decide which
How to chose fate
The fiery pits
Or the pearly gates
Or maybe you're blinded
You just cannot see
That heaven and hell
Are your happiness and misery
Earth is the middle
You make it as you want
Happy and peaceful
Or crazed and confused
It's not up to a fake God
It's all up to you.
Copyright © Brittany Askins | Year Posted 2017
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