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Akrp Zal Poem
Claquée j’ai quitté mon lit douillé
J’ai peur de sombrer dans ma tête souillée
Dans mes rêves je suis toujours exilée
Je n’ai jamais trouvé le sommeil espéré
J’ai savouré le mal qui me trépassait
Le mal que personne ne pourra déchiffrer
Je mourrais ce soir ou demain ça ne changera rien
Je perds les personnes les plus chers un par un
Telles les fleurs qui se flétrissent à mon premier toucher
Telles mes larmes enflammées qui se précipitent jusqu’à l’oubli
On a oublié mon visage qui n’appartient plus à mon corps
Mon corps a été démoli et jeté comme une loque usée
Pour les autres je n’ai jamais existé
Ma voix frémissante a coloré le ciel en un bleu grisâtre
Là je me pardonne/punis à ma façon qui ne se lasse d’accroitre
Avec mes pleurs j’ai crée mon illusion, ma mort et ma perdition
Incapable de saccager ma mort pourtant j’en suis douée
Le ventre vide, la gorge nouée et les yeux insipides
Je cherchais un moyen de m’enrober dans ma couette
Mais la nuit est si maligne à affronter
Ca sert à rien de s’enfuir elle te courra après
La lumière de la lune me berce amoureusement et le silence est désormais mien
Les hommes ont déjà quitté le monde des terriens
On a accentué ma solitude profonde et le bruit du silence qui m’entourait
Mes yeux nocturnes brulent de culpabilité
Je cherche la paix et la passion qui régnaient mes rêves d’enfant
Qui donc pourrait annihiler le monstre qui est en moi
Je veux me raffiner dans le bain de sang de mes effrois
Moi l’être le plus dépressif tournant mon dos à la lumière
La lumière de l’espoir éternel qui s’offre à moi chaque matin
Me regarde et m’effleure le visage comme une feuille de satin
Mes yeux sont sensibles à cette lueur qui vient du ciel divin
Je veux m’en aller et quitter ce monde bourré d’injustice et de cruauté
Je veux m’en aller et j’emmènerai avec moi mes rêves insensés
Je suivrais le courent du vent dissipé qui me chuchotait
Ma tête est pleine de questions dans cette nuit de confusion
Accrochée à mon étoile je me jette dans mes vieilles larmes versées
Le naufrage est si brutal que je ne m’en sortirai pas
Je tourne en rond la vie tourne en rond en suivant mes pas
Je la laisse me pourchasser tel est ma prédilection
Je vis à l’envers et ça ne me trouble guère au contraire
J’ai transpercé le cœur de l’ange blessé l’ange en moi
Les discours des misérables hommes sur l’existence me flanchent
Guerre par ci paix par là grève par ci fête par là
Le monde des fous m’accueille les bras ouverts
Je n’ai jamais digéré la normalité qui occupe cette existence malmenée
Ma petite folie adoucie mes cries de peine et mes hurlements euphoriques
Ma vie est vide
Aucun sens n’est resté
Je n’ai rien appris
Ma petite folie brin de folie
There are people who refuse to let anything good happen to them
Un petit Coeur errant
Oh obscurité tends moi la main montre moi le chemin
Je n’ai que toi mon ombre, mon repère et ma racine
Ne me lâche pas toi mon âme toi mon souffle apeuré
Toi ma pureté utopique dans le cœur de la chimère
Je suis entre le réel et l’illusion, entre la vérité et le mensonge
Nourris-moi par tes lèvres célestes au toucher raffiné
Apprends-moi à marcher
Apprends-moi à être moi
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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Akrp Zal Poem
Memories stepping by
Pictures that once fly
The little me appears before my eyes
To release the bond that still sticks inside
But no, not yet
I'm a blank body and the night is obscuring my soul
Listening to the whistle of an owl
A hangover without alcohol
Taking care of my face and not at all
This little me is not gone
What shall I do for her?
Old pictures, reminders of her
It helps but it hurts
why was I even born?
It's a mistake take me back
Take me back
It's a mistake...
Then I would not be inflicted
To live just this moment of the first cry
Doomed and predicted
It smelled like a journey into hell
Then by the hands of God there comes the miracle
The unborn born freckle
Recognizable and messy
Childlike and classy
But you see no one reads your mind
Maybe your lifeless body only
A monster I hide
And that I embrace with wide hands,
I feed with a smile
It's stuck in my aisle that I built with time
And then no more rhyme..
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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Akrp Zal Poem
You can feel the darkness that screw your heart..
You can feel your hair whirling with the dust above your eyes..
You are shattering to the sight of your reflecting face into the mirror..
You are freezing..
Your eyes take you far..
Far away from here..
Where the winds blow
And the waves go here and there and then carry you to the abyss..
The waves in her way back moan and cry and moan and sob for your fate and your faith once lost..
Your despair grows and grows till finds no limits and then suddenly stops..
Leaving you wonder and wonder aimlessly and then continues to grow deeper and deeper..
You eyes have no colors even if they are blue or green..
They seem to be empty and lifeless in a way that disgusts you I mean “you” the other self in me..
Who is the me?
Or who am I?
I hesitate between a pack of cigarettes in my hand and a broken glass of wine under my feet to interrupt my staring through the black window in my room..
It is all black basically and I don’t care much about the colors because I can’t really see any..
I turn on the T.V and notice that it is all bloody chains of everyday life that freak me out..
I turn it off finally and sit for awhile trying to remember my inability to resist facts and face problems that were disturbing me for ages..
And then I let it fall as I always do..
It makes me go crazier when I see that I’m powerless and tired of getting sick of it.. Tired of doing what they told me to do: how to behave, walk, wear eat what to say and what is forbidden to say and some other things..
Am I living a fake life?
Is this life?
Am I really living?
Why am I crying when it is useless?
Why am I not able to pretend to be happy?
Am I too pessimistic?
I don’t have any inspiration because I’m nothing..
I’m nothing while my surroundings live life to the full..
When I become heartless and undesirable..
I’m nothing when I can hardly read something..
When my friends come first..
When I have no time for myself if I still call it “myself”..
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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Akrp Zal Poem
Everything is collapsing around here
Let me take a breath once more
Heal my wounds, my scars and fear
I want to be the girl that you never loved
I want to be the woman that you are looking for
You know more
You don’t know enough
But you know more
You know what lies beyond my smile
You know more than you think
I’m half way a laugh
Mary you are nearly a laugh they said
Mary you are nearly a coward they over said
Can you look at my weary eyes ?
Can you manage my sudden lies ?
I’m losing control
My body is my soul
And my soul is forsaken once more
Do you think that with your pity you could get me down ?
Do you think when you abandon me you unleach my crown ?
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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Akrp Zal Poem
Tears mixed,
Doubtful thoughts,
Mutual incomprehension,
Mess,
Jealousy,
Possession,
Delirium,
Panic,
Blockage,
Fear of letting go,
Not wanting to listen even if we do we are not really listening
Repetitive errors,
Talking nonsense,
Wanting to go, wanting to return, wanting to get hurt and not wanting at all,
Seeing life as a tragic movie,
Nothing to do together,
Seem to talk,
Not saying deep ways of thinking,
Looking to the life's details,
Talking to strangers, a stranger might be a good listener,
Destroy to rebuild,
Demolish to regain,
Faith,
Respect,
Phone calling,
Anger,
Obsession,
Troubled behaviors,
Eyes,
Paranoid eyes,
Smiling eyes,
Hands,
Trembling hands,
Generous hands,
Mouth ,
Mouth that kisses,
Mouth that hurts,
Ears,
Ears that listen,
Ears that pretend,
Nose,
Nose that cries,
Nose that plays with another one,
Head,
Head that rests,
Head that bruises,
Body,
Body that destroys itself,
Body that enjoys itself..
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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Akrp Zal Poem
I am a stray little dog
Looking forward to get lost
I am a stray little sheep
Doesn't want to follow the stream,
I'm a paper torn burning in the ashes of the chimney
Take my heart, I don't need it
Take my lungs I won't use it
Letting you breathe
All that matters
Letting you be loved
All that fathoms
Straight ahead
Between right and left
The paths are all the same
Where am I going? Where am I stopping?
A bunch of lilacs surrounding me
Strange animals guiding me
Shadows protecting me
From the rudeness of the roads
The hazardous obstacles
Something weird coming
Something beautiful like the smile in your face
And the shiny golden days..
I keep walking,
Panting with the last breath I have in me,
With the last sweat upon my forehead,
Something bad,
Something sad,
Coming and going here and there
With no aim,
With no absolute gain,
The sweetness of the moon call out for me,
Heavenly stairs above me,
Like the last raindrop finding its right place to end up,
Secure and smooth like a dead body returning to dust
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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Akrp Zal Poem
Les mots se heurtaient incapables de s’ordonner
Je ne me force pas oui je me force de m’exprimer
Je sens ma main flétrie par un silence impérissable
Est-il venu le temps de me venger ou d’extérioriser des sentiments palpables
Est-il venu le temps de prendre un bon soupir et laisser mon inconscient parler
Suis-je un personnage de théâtre qui a besoin d’une aide divine
Suis-je une malheureuse poétesse qui cherche un refuge où se retrouver
Me retrouver
Je suis la feuille d’un automne qui se déferle au bout du tunnel
Je suis la fille qui cris au secours mais le monde semble être sourd
Je suis la plaie de mon propre corps je suis l’être le plus décentré
(..)
Est-il si difficile de se plonger dans son imagination et de s’y perdre
Est-il si difficile de projeter tout son être
Est-il si difficile de s’identifier avec la nature, la nature du poète
Quand elle vous parle, nous parle..
Je suis l’esprit de la nature qui intéressait tant les poètes marginaux
Je vous écoute je vous lis je vous soulage je vous inspire et je vous effraye
Vous venez vers moi vulnérables incompris et pleins de mélancolie
Je vous chuchote je vous pénètre je vous envoie mes airs et ma sagesse
(..)
Béantes Tumulte du passé. Litige du présent. Espoir du futur.
Je zappe ! Mais de quoi je parle
Du contre sens de blablabla de n’importe quoi
Mais c’est quoi le sens si ce n’est que du non-sens en lui-même
Mes mots
Mes maux
Expriment la béante mélancolie
Mon accompagnatrice, ma moitié et ma confidente
Oh toi Spleen colossal achève moi
Avec toute la splendeur de ta ..
Une déception se concrétisant en une maladie
Un virus qui n’est pas forcément contagieux
Mais qui me trépasse
Monte et descend le long de mon corps
Se trébuche se faufile sort et rentre sans guise de permission
Mon ultime perdition
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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Akrp Zal Poem
This is a tomboy
A girl in a boy
What's the difference
It might end well
The insight
The gaze
The sensibility
The flavour
This does not end well
Your subjectivity that spoils
Your judgemental visibility
Sad invisibility
Every nerve that tickles
Every feeling that aches
A dead body that lives
Fragmented
Torn between two universes
A living dead body
Wishing to change
By Indians spells
The body awakes,
Flutters,
Goes to the sand and engraves itself again and again
A shape of a shadow
It swallows every inch of the flesh and bones
The rest of the soul
The last nerve still tickling and tickling
Like the time clock that tickles
And forgets why it tickles and still
And at the end it stops
The battery dies
The clock is still there
Tasty
Blindfolding
Shining
The scars of your judgemental visibility
Even divinity does not know
The silent moon does not bother
The posing nudity at the sunlight
The colours it takes
The freezing temperature
The forms
The living statue at a naked floor
The godlike posture
A labyrinth
A lost highway
Infinite beauty
Venus incarnation
Fragments of galaxies and beyond
We don't know what to feel
What to really see
The universe holds its breath
The jealous sun stops shining
For my un/dead organs
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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Akrp Zal Poem
I know you’re hurt
I know what it feels like when you’re forgotten
I know what it feels like when you are torn into pieces
I know what it feels like when you stinck and smell and suffer in silence
I know that you don’t care to feed your needs and desire
I know what it feels like when the words stuck on the inside
I know that you can give anything to go back
Back to where your tears belong
Back to where there is no place for fear
No place for voices you can hear
I know what it feels like when you put your hope in a box and throw it away
I know what it feels like when you manage to die
I know that you’re done crying
I know that you’re done laughing
I know that you’re done smiling for others
I know that you’re done screeming for help in vain
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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Akrp Zal Poem
I will hate you until my last breath
Until I perish and my bones disappear
Until the sun and the moon become one
Until the sky emerges all the flowery colors
I will shout your name until my last breath
Because you have killed the power in me
Because you have killed the joy in me
And because you let me suffocate and hate myself
I will take revenge for my surrender to you
For my empathy to you
For my innocence and my faith in you
I will kill the bottom of my heart
The nerves I was holding all along
The pleasure in my voice and eyes
The smile that you were drowning in
I will ignore all the memories
Stuck inside
Stuck outside
Stuck beneath
Stuck all the way
Copyright © Akrp Zal | Year Posted 2016
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