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Best Poems Written by Mack Toler

Below are the all-time best Mack Toler poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Mack Toler Poem

Cajun Santa

Here’s a little story bout Cajun santa
He lives in the swamp in Louisiana 

You can be naughty or you can be nice
Cajun Santa will never think twice

He’s not like the santa from the cold North Pole
You will never get a stocking with a lump of coal

Cajun santa doesn’t say ho ho
He yells ha yee ha yeee and of they go

Makin homemade toys with Mrs. Clause
Wearin nuttin but a smile and his Christmas draws.

No fancy red suit for Cajun clause
He will bring dem toys in his over alls

He will load dem toys on his ol pero
No flyin reindeer just a white tail doe

 Cajun santa doesn’t say ho ho
He yells out ha yee ha yeee and of they go


Now Cajun santa doesn’t have any elves
So you can save da milk and cookies all for yourselves

But you can make him happy before he’s got ta go
Just serve em up a bowl of hot Gumbo

He wont get in a hurry and he.s kinda slow
Member he’s a bringin dem toys with a white tail doe

Cajun santa doesn’t say ho ho
He yells out ha yee ha yeee and of they go

If Cajun santa wants to be seen
You can find him on bourbon in New Orleans

Throwin mardi gras beads from his ol pero
Bein pulled by a gator or his white tail doe

Now its summer time for Santa and if he gets his Christmas wish
At least once a day he will eat Crawfish

Cajun santa doesn’t say ho ho
He screams into the night go Saints go

Details | Mack Toler Poem

Cajun Santa's Last Stop

Santa came last night spreading Christmas  cheer

He said I'm finished now , until next year 

He said no more dodging poo

Its over what do I do

That's easy Santa, I gave him a  beer

Details | Mack Toler Poem

Off Season Santa

Off Season Santa

Cajun Santa won’t ever be seen

Buying Christmas candy in New Orleans

He has a whole group of Elves back in the swamp

Making Cajun candy for the kids to chomp

Summer time Santa in his cutoff jeans

Stirring a big ol pot of rice and beans

Here comes Mrs. Clause with her fishing pole

She wants to head down to the Crawfish hole

Christmas Cajun Santa has toys on his back

Summer Cajun Santa totes a crawfish sack 

The mud bugs have been cooked the Elves have been fed

Time for Cajun Santa to slip off to bed

He took his ball cap off of his head

He looked at Mrs. Clause, This is what he said

We can rest now, I love you honey

But I think this year I’ll help the Easter Bunny

Mack Toler

Details | Mack Toler Poem

Santa Probs

Santa Probs       

It was late Christmas Eve I had gone to bed

With visions of sugar plums in my head

Santa was sitting at the foot of my bed 

I looked at him and then he said

I’ve got a team of reindeer and they all need fed

I’ve got a woman at home that thinks I only like red
 
I’ve got tiny little men that follow me around 

I’m the laughin stock when I go to town 

There is one thing that really needs switchin 

Milk and cookies are good but there’s a turkey in the kitchen

I pull up to a truck and this is what I hear

Who’s that man in the sled being pulled by deer?

There’s no window on the sleigh so that means no wipers 

IT" just goes in my eyes cause deer don’t wear diapers 

But there’s no problem keeping my beard white

Because I’m flyin through the air and its snowin at night

When he finally had to leave he gave my back a little SLAP

He flew off into the a night dodging Reindeer CRAP

Details | Mack Toler Poem

Reindeer Wreck

Cajun Santa was at party at the Easter Bunnies house

Everyone was there even Mickey Mouse 

They were all having fun spreading holiday cheer

Somebody gave his Reindeer Beer 

It was late Christmas Eve  Santa had to go

He gathered up his Elves and his White tail Doe

Then he loaded them up in his Ol Pero 

He flew off into the night yelling go Saints go

He was found at the wreck wearing a Christmas Wreath 

He smiled at me with bugs in his teeth

He said this is what happened, if you want to hear

SOMEBODY GAVE, MY REINDEER BEER

Details | Mack Toler Poem

Funny Kids Poem Contest

FUNNY KIDS POEM CONTEST

The poem must be funny 

Better than the rest

If your a chicken, just write from your nest

The poem must be clean, no dirt can be found

If your a worm, you could write under ground

The rules are the same even for a mouse

Just write down some rhymes in your little mouse house

The prize is so big you could eat for a year

But you would need to be small, isn't that clear  

The poem must be written is all that they wish 

So that rules you out if your a fish

Now it's time to enter the poem that I wrote

I'll just do it from the barn, because I'm a Goat

Details | Mack Toler Poem

It Happened To Santa

An Elf was mad at Santa; he fed all the Reindeer Exlax

What I’m about to tell you now, is really just the facts

When Santa went for his test run, runs he did get

He wanted to wipe his face, he needed something wet

When Santa blew his horn, a Reindeer also blew

What’s now on his face, is usually on his shoe

Now his cheeks aren't so rosy and his white beard is brown 

He couldn’t make them stop; Santa almost drown

Details | Mack Toler Poem

City Boys

My ol daddy was the very best

They shut down the town when they laid him to rest

He held his new born Grandson on the night his death

Just a few hours later he took his last breath

He taught me how to hunt with a gun and a bow

Something you city boys will never know

We raised our own taters fresh corn and beans

You city boys don't know what that means

We always went to church, he taught me right from wrong

The Old rugged cross was his favorite song

He taught me God and family must always come first

You don't want to be alone when your riding in the Hearse

Now I'm working over seas and were twisting to the right 

You City boys wouldn't make it one night

For all you City boys that don't know what that means

I'm drilling for your Oil so you can stay home clean

Now I've got my own family and a woman I love

God and Daddy must have sent her from Heaven above

Details | Mack Toler Poem

Cajun Santa's Promise

Cajun Santa was a skinny little man

He could hide in the shadow of a soda pop can

I asked Cajun Santa do you have a magic power

He said, I can fly around the world in less than an hour

He said I’ve got to be fast in and out quick

I get a little competition from Ol St. Nick

You can be the meanest little boy that ever did play

You will get a gift from me on Christmas day

 For all you boys and girls good or bad

Cajun Santa won’t leave anyone sad

Details | Mack Toler Poem

Found With No Soul

?12/?29/?2015 

The scent of death was in the air
Insects and worms were already there
The fog in the night held a clingy crud
The body I found was drained of blood
The body had been beaten 
The face had been eaten
The mouth was open the tongue was gone
The head was split I could see the bone
The animals had been there, and they hadn't been kind
In two more days, there would be nothing to find 
This may be a clue, I found a purse
She came in a boat but will leave in a hearse
I found black nail polish and black lipstick
Then in my mind, it started to click
This was the wife of the Grave diggers son
He too had been beaten and shot with a gun
They had joined a Cult, the Initiation was that night
They both tried to get out with all their might
Too much had been revealed, secrets had been told
The bodies were no longer needed, their Souls had been sold