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Lanna Carpenter Poem
The bird sits on the ledge,
wanting so much to fly further than the edge of the yard.
The poor little bird fancy's a long holiday,
an excursion far, far away.
It's wings have been clipped preventing longer flight.
It must content itself to sitting on the ledge and dreaming.
Maybe one day its dream will come true.
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2006
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Lanna Carpenter Poem
Again,
I am nothing more
than a vessel being filled with his selfish desire
I am again in the position of allowing another to use me
Will I ever find true love?
Am I destined for this?
Love is elusive,
right now any way
Tonight I am his possession
Tomorrow he will forget, I will be just another
whose name he doesn’t know
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2006
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Lanna Carpenter Poem
Death becomes her lying there,
her brunette hair perfectly framing the silky interior.
The lacy white pillow perfectly props her up for all to see.
Though death has taken her life and stolen her soul.
We must admit she still has a glow.
It is as though her radiance was to bright to extinguish.
Her life wasn't easy,
she had more pain than she could bare.
You wouldn't know, she hid it well within her heart
so only she knew the enormity of it all.
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2006
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Lanna Carpenter Poem
Last December I called you.
You, who I haven’t heard from
in over twenty years.
You, who hasn’t thought to call.
Does that mean that you didn’t think of me?
Me, your only daughter.
Last December three days after Christmas I saw you.
You looked so old, the years that had passed were evident on your face.
The lines around your eyes made you look so sad.
Last December I hugged you.
You hugged me back.
As I held onto you I felt like a child again and felt safe.
I trusted your embrace.
Last December I told you that I loved you.
You said it too.
I had never heard you utter those words before.
(Did you mean it?)
Last December I was happy.
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2006
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Lanna Carpenter Poem
You stayed gone for so long,
you missed it all. You didn't even know number three.
He would come after you flee.
We were forced to move ahead,
not much time to remember. Growing up instead.
Late at night when it was quiet,
and all was in bed. I would wonder where you were.
(Did you even think of us?)
When I was twelve maybe thirteen,
I got this notion in my head
that I would look for you.
Someone I remember had said
you moved back to Oklahoma.
So, I started there.
We had gone on a trip,
my first look was in the phone book.
I continued, for some time. I scavanged through all mom's things
for evidence of you. Some small token that would lead me to where you were.
I gave up not long there after.
I wouldn't try again until I was seventeen. Now it seemed I was wiser,
I asked for assistance. My grandmother was the sleuth,
she uncovered the truth.
You arrived as did I,
we didn't know the other would be there.
I didn't even get out of the car,
the door wasn't even ajar.
Even now after all is done the choice was yours although I had begun.
When to see you should've been mine, but that decision you took this time.
After that weekend without seeing you I opted to call.
We spoke a while, mostly chit chat. Nothing was said about why you left as you
did.
For a moment though it was just as it should be,
a daughter talking to her father. It was nice.
You wrote soon after,
the words you penned weren't what I was after,
it was a disaster. I struck the match and burned your words.
I forgot and moved away faster.
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2006
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Lanna Carpenter Poem
Racing thoughts pass through my mind,
visions of a happier time. Happier you ask,
why yes is my reply.
Years ago when I was young,
when I was without a care.
Before the age of six when my world was fine.
Up was up, right was right. When I didn't fancy flight.
It was easier, simplier then. Everything was as it should be.
A little house with a family,
a momma and a daddy to tuck us in at night.
It all changed without worry of how we'd fare.
It didn't matter what would we care.
No one asked if I wanted to move,
no one asked me what I wanted to do.
I suppose I would've begged for you to stay.
But that choice wasn't mine. You took it away.
With borrowed hopes and dreams you dashed.
You and momma couldn't make it work.
She took us and you took a shirt.
(A fair trade?)
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2006
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Lanna Carpenter Poem
I feel a stirring in my soul to adopt internationally. Somewhere in China there is a
woman that will give up her daughter for a better life. This is something I wrote
for that child to be.
In Heaven You Wait
Before you are mine you are God's precious child. He holds you in His heart until
the day when I will hold you next to mine.
Before I ever utter a lullaby to calm your fears a thousand angels have composed
the most beautiful music just for you.
Listen carefully and take comfort precious child you are loved. Until we are a
forever family in heaven you wait.
(c) 2006/12 Lanna Carpenter
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2007
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Lanna Carpenter Poem
i sense it
the stares,
the judging
you see me
as though i am
not there
you comment to
one another
what's wrong
with her
because i choose
a different
way
i don't
think like
you
i must be
wrong
you're always
right
the god that you
pray to
the god that you
seek
lives in my heart
too
yet it seems
to me
that you
think that he
only lives
in you
it must be so
because
heaven surely
knows
that
you all are
right
and I am
wrong, wrong
wrong
i sense it
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2007
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Lanna Carpenter Poem
Years later, in my twenties now.
I got a call,
it was mom she had cancer.
I was scared what if was all I could muster.
All I thought was I couldn't bare,
at least one parent should be there.
I called you and you answered.
I told you not to speak my words you must hear.
You were kind and obliged. You let me talk and just listened.
It was finally my time. You agreed to meet with me,
so plans were made,
at the holiday it would be.
Things were different but the same.
Your mom still lived in the same small frame.
One thing was not as it should be, you brought her.
It was suppose to be just family,
but Sheila came.
Can't you see she doesn't like me?
She looks at me with such distain.
We had our visit,
we said our good-byes.
You promised you'd call that was a lie.
You had no intention at all.
It was I that would continue.
When I would call Sheila answered now,
she accused me wanting money,
but what I was after wasn't at cost.
I just wanted what I had lost.
Although I was first,
Sheila and her girls had you now.
I was a memory they were reality.
I couldn't be more than a passing glance,
it isn't fair but that's how it goes I suppose.
Now I am in crisis and could surely use a daddy's hand to hold.
I'm scared I don't know what to do. My mom doesn't seem to care.
I told her what he did when I was just a kid. She's still there.
Daddy, he hurt me!
The things he did would make you cry I nearly wanted to die.
I suppose a little I did. Her husband abused and misused
and still she takes his side I am so confused.
I'm all grown,
but to my core is that girl of just six crying loud to be rescued.
She needs her dad and he only ignores.
What am I suppose to do?
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2006
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Lanna Carpenter Poem
My heart lies empty
its contents have been drained
You did that!
You came in as I slept
and dissected my body
Prying open my chest
revealing to your sick world my beautiful heart
With your rusty dagger you plunged it in deep
causing my sweetness and light to burst forth
Now I lay before you
a tangled mess
You and your cohort laugh over me
and dance your twisted dance
reveling in your handiwork
Knowing that you destroyed a life
That you helped create so long ago
Copyright © Lanna Carpenter | Year Posted 2006
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