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Jacquelynn Banks Poem
The internal fire
searing away life's pain
change summers forest
born into the world
contemplating renewal
ice covered rivers
all seasons cycle
pain love life feeling anger
eternal rhythm
bright autumn color
death brings life and renewal
pain will fade away
hope reborn once again
upon springs breath fresh flowers
life from the seedling
universes wide
internal contemplating
fish climb the river
many seasons live
through trials tribulations
death birth renewal
possibility
thought sparks creation expands
reality comes
the high of summer
sun triggered mania floating
as raging river
hot summer sunlight
river deprived of water
emotion dries up
life's changing seasons
shortcoming in emotion
through seasons cycle
fading pain emerge
life simple delusions made
forever change seasons
universe expand
knowledge create and destruct
chill grow burning fading
depressions winter
ever turmoil emotion
ebb flow night day spin
seasons always change
contemplating life death
universe expand
spaced thoughts are crazy
emotion fighting the storm
neon night pale day
wrecked ships wander
through the winters fog & mists
silent channels drift
coming through turmoil
ride the storm the hurricane
expand horizons
collaborative
pain processed is therapy
growing from rebirth
fighting sanity
come insanity take home
forever to heart
the thoughts that process
never ending demons will run
collision nova
turbulent wind storm
shutters thrown open release
fear pain life death love
consuming feelings
season driven tolerance
change in fall and spring
tolerance for mood
patience empathy perceive
winter and summer
collision course set
new medication hinders
emergence changes
therapy consoles
soul full of turmoil and change
growth changed perception
frustrated anger
hot and long like summers heat
burns living forests
lashed out judgmental
like frog tongues catch flies and food
and ponds clear water (narcissism)
racing through insights
visions clear from universe
emotion has passed
struggle the outside
fury within emotion
body change season
temperament wild
raging storms, fire burns, whiteout
collides in fury
a long time waiting
an answer born in voices
science or spirit
invasion of dreams
war new names fear demons wake
interfere with life
reality changed
committed to a course plan
bumps along the way
mountains far distance
filled with peaks and valleys the path
treaded with caution
move forward future
never stepping back from fear
ghosts do not haunt me
Copyright © Jacquelynn Banks | Year Posted 2015
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Jacquelynn Banks Poem
swiftly moving in every direction
as open as the universe
moving faster than the speed of light
my mind finds peace among the stars
Never alone
drifting through space
that others believe empty of life
instead full of thriving thoughts
They were Wrong
Every is a part of all
as much as nothing is a part of all
They say you can't have
light without the dark
Peace without the storm
heaven without hell
Twisting and dancing
waltzing
life finds paths for thoughts
death finds space for memories
never gone
never alone
just follow the whispers that
seep through the cracks
in your mind
Entertain the Dance
Close your eyes
Feel the whispers of your soul
Feel the touch of others
wisping around you
some as gentle as the notes of a lullaby
yet as powerful and moving as the
rage of a storm
dance with grace and beauty
yet with enough passion to inspire
even though you may not try
your movement evinces emotion
we touch so much more than
what we see to be tangible
our lives our thoughts our spirits
are the pebbles in the pond
sending ripples through nothing
and everything
some may say that to find your destiny
will help shape your choices
but I would say the discovery of ones inner powers
shapes your choices
and destiny is only
what you make of it
always changing
close your eyes
feel the shadows shifting around you
a gentle curiosity in their touch
no intrusion on your mind
breathe deep
feel the earth below you
feel the air around you
feel the spark of life within you
it is only when
the passing of shadows
the welcome
the essence of our person never diminishes
though some of us self destruct
though we all lose our bodies
the essence of our being remains
divine me an answer
I want to move with grace
the storm rages
and I want to move with grace
I want to walk and dance the pattern
and move with grace
I want an inner light
to Radiate
And I don't want to be scared of
shadows that spawn from the storm
As quickly as I know I'm moving
I also know I'm not
Movement is so much more
than a change of position
movement is more than we see
movement is the pattern
the shift of notes in a song
the shift of thoughts in our minds
movement is shift of each moment
the past the present the future
movement is always
movement isn't ever never
for even in never
even in nothing
there is always potential
there is always movement
Copyright © Jacquelynn Banks | Year Posted 2015
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Jacquelynn Banks Poem
I am not here
I do not exist
My screams are silent and go unheard
everything is pointless
in sleep comes dreams
that radiate peace
they tell me everything will be okay
though beautiful
the creatures be
though beautiful the galaxies
though enormous the feeling
of connection with
everything and nothing
when I awake they're gone
they were not real
they were just dreams
like myself
the imaginings of other beings
people see what they want to see
people perceive what they are given
in dreams
it encompasses everything and nothing
it all exists as one
and upon waking
it all becomes divided
and even "nothing"
no longer exists
except in the minds of those
whom try to transcend
their bodies, minds and souls
thinking they understand enough
to accept that knowledge
and that nothing is something to be achieved
without understanding
that nothing is everything
and everything is nothing
it is simply a state of being
and this place
it's not a state of being
it is a state of experience
a state of existing as a piece of an unknown whole
separated from that which would give
the ultimate content
a being of nothing and everything at once
but here, while in this plane
I experience and exist
in the minds of others
sent to perceive
to give the whole
the rest
an understanding of existence
while I long for completion
and link back to nothing
I exist, but I don't
and the screams of my experience
go unheard
because they are a piece
only part
and the whole
of everything and nothing
is greater than just that piece
one cannot transcend
that which they have been given
until it is given and taken back
into the whole
no longer a separate piece
the experience absorbed
and become a part again
of nothing and everything
then it will be heard
to exist it to experience
one cannot escape their existence
by death
they have to accept and will be accepted by the whole
Copyright © Jacquelynn Banks | Year Posted 2015
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Jacquelynn Banks Poem
Some strong emotion
touched my mind today
it wasn't quite expected
and was quickly pushed away
then later as the evening passed
the thought that harvested emotion
intruded on every thought that entered
my awareness
and pressed for recognition
this thought was not a thought of harm
in fact was intended to inspire
this thought that reaped a harvest of fear and hurt
was simply stated
find happy
and now as evening passes
into morning
I quietly asses
the thoughts that help me
to be happy
and can tell that they too
cause distress
for although the memories
from within the fields of my mind
often find a way to feed
some hunger
they also seem to be a plague
that tears my heart asunder
how is it that a happy thought
can lead to so much destruction
that at one point you're laughing
and have cramps in your face
and tummy
and the next you're crying
and hurt all over
after going through a period
of disconnect
and feeling a storm build despite
the elements from climate control
why is it so surprising that
one thought
could cause such a LOSS of control
Even now a scientist may wish
for climate control
But a thing as simple as the beat
of a butterfly wing
as small
throws even the best plans off
Then why should a thought of control
not be effected
by the similar
the beat of one butterfly wing
the same as one phrase
is small, yes
but is not insignificant
I have learned over time
that control is an illusion
so why I thought my mind
protected
eludes me still
A thought becomes that tiny spark
that transforms into emotion
the trick is in turning the effects
into something useful
I guess what I can take from this
is that not everything can be contained and controlled
and what I am given
that is loosed in my mind
can be turned into something of value
its worth greater
that its weight in gold
a thought of inspiration
may indeed sometimes cause
hurt
but taking time to be AWARE
will help you grow
and help you learn to acknowledge the hurt
to live
to accept the moment
to not push it unwanted away
and with those thoughts
the inspired words
find happy
you learn to be happy
Copyright © Jacquelynn Banks | Year Posted 2015
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Jacquelynn Banks Poem
safety in number
not quite, not yet
but safety and comfort
trusted ones select
reassurances in subtle ways
challenges in gentle ways
guidance in assuring ways
thought-I am safe
lost though I fear I am
unsure where I'm headed
the new goal not focused on what others think of me-their judgments
this moment I am simply trying to be
the effort put forth to make myself well
I fear pain
that comes with each memory, thought-the emotion
but it's getting easier
trying to function
scared I still am
but feeling safer
understanding coming upon me more
making it just enough easier
to cope and stay present
and with my blanket-feel safe
knowing I can hide and be shielded
lost somewhere between everyday
still fogging out a little
in a numbing way
not forgetting everything
and reassurance, acknowledgement,
of my effort, progress, safety and wishes
nudged to try
to deal differently
to stay when I want to run
reminded I am here and now
not there and then-living in the past
from safety---
I still fear myself
the harm that I do
the poison that tries to break through
it's now a war raging within
as I struggle to break free
the old habits
the past I've still been living
the hurt I fear
those whom would hurt me are not here
the safe ones remind me
I'm living the present
I'm safe this moment
fear of the past, future-still there
but not so overwhelming
when realization dawns they're right
I'm here
I am safe
those that I trust guide me
and remind me that I do know how to swim
lost as I am
they guide me and give me direction
till I find which way it is I want to head
so I can learn to be well
to function again
to deal with thoughts, emotion
to feel and exist again
to develop a "me", an "I", an "individual"
to find my own dream
not someone else's
no judgment stemming forth from them
happy or sad
angry or glad
depressed and unsure or happy and confident
tired or pausing
worn completely down
energetic and studious
creative and logical
rational or not
I can lash out or isolate
apologize even too much
no judgment comes
just gentle guidance in a direction
to think I am safe
to help me exist, not dead inside
to be able to decide each day
which way I want to head
my own destination
I know I am safe
I am not comfortable
I am no where near sure
I don't yet know the direction
I judge myself harshly
but now there is a war
a struggle to change
and I have guides to remind me
I can swim
I am safe
even in my dreams
and I am GRATEFUL
Copyright © Jacquelynn Banks | Year Posted 2015
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