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Best Poems Written by Kaitlyn Fox

Below are the all-time best Kaitlyn Fox poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Kaitlyn Fox Poem

Anxiety

This is what it feels like to have your heart racing 
and not knowing when or if it will ever slow down.
Your fatigued body can not keep up with its rapid thumping against your chest,
you’re winded after climbing a flight of steps. 
Just the thought of tomorrow leaves you gasping for air,
only its not refreshing like the first breath you take 
after being plunged under water.
It’s tight and sharp
as if your lungs are collapsing in their cage 
like two popped balloons hanging lifelessly in your chest.

This is feeling like your socks are filled with stones
and the world is zipping past you on roller skates. 
This is being a day ahead on your calendar,
never learning to live in the moment
and letting your life slip under your shaking feet. 

This is storing your past in the corner of your closet,
hoping the clutter won’t occupy the space for your self confidence,
but every now and then it likes to creep out to remind you it’s still there. 
This is remembering the time you fell off your bike in fourth grade,
or when you were tongue tied in front of your crush at age thirteen. 
You can piece events from your life together through flashbacks
that will come when you least expect it.
A flood of past emotions, still so vivid and alive,
rushes over you like a monstrous wave in the ocean
that sends you off your feet and spits you back out,
salty and heaving for air. 

This is living in a dream state,
one you wish you’d wake up from
so you can feel the ground beneath your feet. 
This is instability of the body, heart and mind.
This is learning to walk again,
carefully thinking through each step so you don’t send yourself falling.
This is questioning yourself constantly,
wondering if everything you’ve set your heart to is worthwhile,
because, afterall, your mind has been impaired by your drowsiness
of nights staring at a dark ceiling,
not knowing what is holding you from rest.

This is operating on fumes,
slowly disintegrating into just flesh and bone,
losing your focus and strength to your clouded head
and aching heart. 
This is worrying so much about what has yet to change,
that you don’t have the conscious to take a look at what is changing,
to see the nothingness that you are slowly evolving to.

This is trembling hands,
this is stuttered words,
this is the inability to unclench your tense fists.
This is independence.

This is holding yourself at gunpoint,
and not knowing which side to surrender.
This is being the enemy
and the survivor. 

This is telling yourself, “It’s going to be ok”,
but not believing in the words you use
to try to soothe your rigid body. 

You don’t know if you will be ok.
You have lost control over yourself 
before you had the chance to try and grab the wheel. 
You’ve become so attached to what is to come,
the thought of what has captured you may never cross your mind. 

Maybe one day you will learn that there is no use in trying to run from the beast,
for it will shadow your every move. 
And maybe one day you’ll learn that to stab it would be a mistake
because you will find yourself with bloody hands and a dying heart.

Details | Kaitlyn Fox Poem

To My Ex-Boyfriend

And if I have learned anything from our love, 
it is that things do not break in even pieces.

The way I still catch you glancing in my direction
or searching for the words to start a simple conversation from time to time
makes me believe that maybe you left with a piece of me after we fell apart. 
And you can keep it
because I want to be the ghost that lingers in your heart
over the years and the many of miles that will draw us farther away from home.

I want to be the girl you think of late at night as you drive among city lights,
the one you think of when you hear your favorite song.
I want to remind you of all the little things you loved about the world:
full moons, bike rides, long road trips through unknown places. 

I want to be the girl that evolves into mystery;
a girl who may wander off to places you can not find,
but somehow she never leaves your heart. 
I want my memory to feel like the first time you jump into the ocean,
all the times you’ve blown out birthday candles,
your first time climbing a tree and seeing the world from a new height. 
I want you to feel like every moment of your life is a thrill, 
a possibility,
or an adventure. 
I want to be the girl who taught you how to live in a world that only knows how to survive. 

I want to be the girl you wonder about every now and then,
the girl you call late one night to see if she is the still the girl
who never keeps her feet in the sand;
to see if she is out chasing sunsets just like she said she would.

Details | Kaitlyn Fox Poem

What I Was Too Afraid To Say Over Text Message

You were the first promise I was willing to keep,
my first hope that something could last forever.

You were the first time I opened up like a blooming flower
and gave you every piece of me,
every lie I’ve told,
every nightmare that kept me wide awake,
all of my hopes and dreams stored somewhere safe inside of you.

You taught me that there is no shame in unwinding myself 
into someone else’s arms,
that it’s time I exposed my gentleness that I’ve hidden beneath my thick skin,
for it hasn’t seen the sun in years. 

You were the first person I failed to find a poem in
because I loved you down to your bare bones and raw heart
and no metaphor could ever satisfy my admiration for every part of you.

You were the first time I wanted to belong to someone,
the first time I could read a thread of text messages like reading my favorite book,
my first kiss,
my first time getting butterflies after just hearing your name.

You were my favorite song,
my 11:11 wish;
a silly girl staring at a clock, waiting for the numbers to be perfectly inline 
so that she could wish to forever keep a love that already belonged to her.

Details | Kaitlyn Fox Poem

Spare Nails and a Hammer

Your mother always yelled at your father to fix the nail protruding from the kitchen floor.
“It’s going to hurt someone someday,” she would bicker,
but your father hid his face behind his newspaper as she spoke. 

The nail remained sticking up from the ground,
but you taught yourself how to walk around it
just like you taught yourself when to exit and enter the room.
Your mother’s heavy voice was like a fire alarm
telling you to evacuate the scene and leave your father in the flames,
but there was nowhere for anyone to go---
he forgot to build a fire escape. 

She tried to leave hints for him around the house:
A hammer on his pillow,
spare nails in his pockets,
but naturally his fingers picked around them
like playing a guitar.
She had given him all the notes,
but he preferred to play his own tune.

Eventually she had given up on shouting,
for she was tired of hearing only her echo.
Each couldn’t feel the other.
He could not hear her words that dropped like stones,
she could not hear his weightless language of silence,
and you could not speak in a house enclosed with two deaf parents. 

One day you came home and saw that your mother’s side of the bed was made nicely
like it hadn’t been slept in for days.
It was cold and stiff, preserved like a shrine.
That same day you went into the kitchen to reach for the phone,
but tripped over the nail emerging from the floor
and went clattering down beside it.

Details | Kaitlyn Fox Poem

Prisoner

A single rib cage protects our hearts,
and so we believe that when our hearts are broken,
it is because of the scarce armor we have surrounding them.
Maybe our hearts aren’t throbbing from the hurt,
but rather they trying to fight their ways out of their cages
so they are no longer held captive to our suffering minds.

Details | Kaitlyn Fox Poem

Better Than Revenge

Don’t get mad.
Don’t seek vengeance.
Don’t search for answers.

No need for forgiveness,
just tolerance. 

Learn from it.
Become better. 
Rise above it before you sink too far. 

Submerge yourself so deep in your own success
that it escapes your mind as if it never happened.

Details | Kaitlyn Fox Poem

How I Will Explain Death To My Children

Everyday Life sends Death countless gifts because she misses him,
and Death holds on to them forever as a reminder of his love for her. 

They fell in love a long time ago
and have become two star-crossed lovers trying to defy mortality.
They have written a timeless love story,
one of undivided devotion that has survived millenniums
and is still considered the greatest of them all. 

Maybe Life was missing Death more than usual today;
maybe she had to send him an extra special soul as a reminder of just how much she loves him.

Details | Kaitlyn Fox Poem

He Reminds Me of the Ocean

He reminds me of the ocean;
a vast body of water capable of sucking me in and spitting me out. 
Many times I’ve found myself wondering if I’d survive
as water plugged my mouth and nostrils,
start to drown the life out of me
until the waves rolled over my head,
leaving me heaving for air. 

He taught me that there is pleasure 
in the things that come close to killing you.

Even when I’m breathless,
I still find myself gravitating towards that salty body of blue,
sticking my toes in its sides,
hoping that maybe it will take me away just one more time.