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Shaina Kelly Poem
Jayden Makieh Kelly
My child, it all started on the date of 2004 July 5th, I had received the news that I was going to be a proud parent of a beautiful gift. After weeks and weeks of feeling nauseated, tired, and just really sick, I had made an appointment that day to see a doctor, by the name of Anita Schmidt. She was very sweet, understanding, informative, and kind. I described my symptoms to her, but didn't for fact, have pregnancy in mind. However, I wasn't in denial and the possibility of that wasn't afar, and within minutes of us talking, my results came back and she said, "darling you are!" My stomach turned with happiness and fear, that was the most shocking news of the day, and with my eyes all big and with a little stammering my response was, "oh oh ok" Next, we headed to the examination room. I stared at the ceiling rubbed my stomach, talked to myself and made plans for you. Through the ultrasound I saw a little spot, with a thumping heartbeat, that was you!! It was determined that I was eight weeks and on February 14, 2005 is when you would be due! After the exam I went to my purse and got out my cell, I started to call my mom, the news, I couldn't wait to tell! However, I hung it back up and decided to have patience, but temptation was great and the news couldn't take waiting! I called your dad to share the joy and asked him if he wanted a girl or a boy. He stuttered, "boy" with fear in his voice, and probably wondered, "why is she asking me about such a choice?" After I talked to him, I called your aunt Tisha, and asked her if she wanted a niece or a nephew, she thought that me telling her I was pregnant was extremely untrue! She asked me to swear on my nephew and to speak to the doctor, the doctor asked for my consent and then confirmed what I had already told her. Really shocked from the news as it was told, my sister screamed in the doctor's ear, "Oh NO NO NO!" While walking to my mom's vehicle with the ultrasound and pictures in my hand, I was a little nervous of telling her, but waiting I could not stand. I gave her the ultrasound and her main concern was how I was going to finish college. I assured her that you were now my main reason for furthering my knowledge. Wow, I’m going to be a mom is all I kept thinking. I called many friends and family and they thought the news I was faking. After realizing that this was all true, everyone fell in love with the thought of you.
Copyright © Shaina Kelly | Year Posted 2005
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Shaina Kelly Poem
Jayden Makieh Kelly
I was next checked and had dilated between a eight and a nine. One nurse then told me to tell her if I felt pressure in my bottom because that would probably mean it was time. The epidural had me so numb that It was hard to determine if what I was feeling was the pressure that had begun. Dr. Kidd came in and checked me just a few minutes later to say that I was at a ten and it was time for pushing to begin! The nurses started to prepare both me and the room for delivery in a rush. My nurse was very nice and informative and had started me to breathe and push. Your nana, aunt Edith, and aunt Trenita stayed in the room with me, but was told to stay on one side of the room when they were setting up their equipment. The doctor began telling me to push, your head would appear and suck back and everyone watched with excitement. With the epidural I was pain free and giving orders to them to take pictures of everything happening in the room. Then, after a few minutes the doctor got out the vacuum. With the aid of that and a few more pushes you was born, surprise! Pushing for hours was one of my biggest fears. However, at 11:32 p.m. and only after about twenty minutes of pushing my baby boy was here! When your head came out you had to be immediately suctioned because you had a bowel movement while you were inside. At first your nana was scared and hesitant, but then she went ahead and cut your cord. I was still in shock at all of this happening, but it was very real and you were here, thank the Lord! When you were first placed in my arms my lifetime commitment of loving you was even more confirmed. My world, my life, my joy, my child, my heart, MY BABY BOY! That was the happiest moment in my life I had ever encountered to date. There was nothing then and there will never be anything that will ever compare to the way I felt when I saw your face.
Copyright © Shaina Kelly | Year Posted 2005
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Shaina Kelly Poem
Jayden Makieh Kelly
On the fifteenth of February at around seven am the real contractions began, they had me in so much pain I thought they would never end. I stayed up for two hours timing them to see if they would ever be close, however they wasn’t and out of pain is what I wanted the most. Later on that day I had a doctors appointment, but only to find out that I still hadn’t dilated so I was disappointed. However, later on that night the contractions started hurting me even more. I couldn’t even lay down because they had my stomach so sore. A few hours later from two am till three am the contractions were coming every five minutes and the pain was intense and very much not in my favor. I told your nana I was ready to go to the hospital and we arrived there at about five or ten minutes till five am hoping I was in labor. They put me in a room with these two little belts attached to my stomach to monitor my contractions and your heartbeat. When the nurse checked me I had only dilated enough for the tip of her finger to fit, so with the doctor’s orders she wanted to get me up on my feet. So, I went walking and then came back. The contractions started reversing, they started to slack. For they slowed down, they regressed. Your nana thought they were going to send me home because she thought I wasn’t making any progress. The doctor came in and checked me and to all of our surprise I had dilated to almost a three! He then said, “Let’s get her in a room, she’s a keeper”. Right then the thoughts of giving birth began to sink deeper. I actually started to have just a tiny bit of fear of the journey I knew I was nearing. I got moved a little ways up the hallway to labor and delivery room five. The room was fully equipped to make you feel at home, quite spacious in size. I was placed on another monitoring machine and hooked up to an iv. At that point there was still only your nana in the room with me.
Copyright © Shaina Kelly | Year Posted 2005
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Shaina Kelly Poem
Jayden Makieh Kelly
Later on that day others came and kept us company. Everyone sat around, talked, and watched t.v. I eventually got up a few times and walked through the hallways with the contractions at times stopping me in my path. But, I always had someone there with me so that helped make it not so bad. I was put on pitocin to help me sleep and my contractions become closer together and stronger. My friend T’tiera came and rubbed my stomach until she had to leave and go to class and could not stay longer. I was very, very drowsy, in pain and the contractions made me feel lousy. Your nana could not get a break to sit down. She was there to rub my back and stomach every time I frowned. I thank God that she was there, even though at that time she was there with me all alone. There was even one moment where I was calling her to rub me, someone was knocking at the door, and people were calling on both the hospital and cell phone! After hours of dealing with the pain, at around 4pm I decided to get the epidural medicine. That was a very tense moment for I had to be perfectly still and manage the pain of the contractions within. But, boy oh boy was that the a great joy! I was desperately in need of some relief and great sleep. That epidural made it possible for me to do that and help all of the pain cease. I went to sleep and had dilated to a six. However, while I was sleeping some complications came up that they had to fix. My heartbeat had dropped and was infecting you. They put a monitor on your head to monitor you. They were even discussing performing a caesarean delivery to get you out. However, everything turned out fine and the labor went about. Everything had been stabilized with me still sleeping not knowing anything, not having to realize what was happening with you inside. But hours later when I awoke I was informed about all of those complications that had aroused and how the doctors fixed them like a mechanic. I think it was a good thing that I had been in a deep sleep because I probably would have over-reacted and made things worse with panic. However, I was thankful that everything turned out to be fine. If something would’ve happened to you I would’ve lost my mind.
Copyright © Shaina Kelly | Year Posted 2005
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Shaina Kelly Poem
Jayden Makieh Kelly
You are a like a rare, sparkling, and extravagant gem, so sweet, so nice and much too precious for any of life‘s prices. My Jay when I look into your brown eyes I see a stream of endless possibilities, a vast ocean of forever flowing capabilities. You are one in a million of this nation and that’s why for you I will lay a secure foundation. You are my world and I love you with all of my heart. There is nothing that could ever make us part. There are no limits as to what I will do for you. I will move heaven and earth for you. Together we have a lifetime ahead of us and I will be there for you throughout it all. I will be there when you first sit up, take your first steps, and definitely by your side to pick you up whenever in life you may fall.
Copyright © Shaina Kelly | Year Posted 2005
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Shaina Kelly Poem
Jayden Makieh Kelly
Your skin was so smooth and shined bright like the rays of the glimmering sunlight. Your hair was soft and reminded me of black velvet that protected your small, perfect head. Oh how beautiful is mommy’s precious man she had! The contour of your head, your chinky eyes, from the length of your fingers and toes, to the bridge of your nose, are all matches of your dad’s. Your physical qualities from me are rare. However, I definitely see see my bottom lip, roundness in your nose, and my stubborn attitude there. A little later you were weighed and measured as the air was filled with your cry, those shrilling, delightful, pleasing sounds. As you lay there it was determined that you were twenty inches long, six pounds and thirteen ounces. Snap, snap, snap I even had a picture taken of that. I didn’t want to miss anything that was happening, I wanted every detail of that day. I even got a picture of the placenta, they thought I was crazy, but I had to have it my way. Your aunt Tisha was supposed to be there for your delivery. But, by the time they got back the nurses were about to move me. We got moved over to another unit called mother-baby and our room number was twenty-nine. Everyone was so eager to see you and hold you for the first time. Our hospital stay was very pleasing. People came and spent time to come to see you and me. The nurses and doctors were very helpful, caring, and nice. The only part I didn’t like was them coming in throughout the night. Whenever I would get sleepy I would send you to the nursery at night so I could get some rest. But, the times when they would bring you back in the mornings with me again were the best. I couldn’t wait to be reunited with you. Even being without you for ten minutes had my mind flooded with thoughts of being back with you. On the eighteenth is when we were discharged from the hospital to come home and I was glad to see the outside. The day was very cold and windy, but you made me feel extremely warm inside. Jayden, beautiful child of mine, you are mommy’s little sunshine.
Copyright © Shaina Kelly | Year Posted 2005
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Shaina Kelly Poem
Jayden Makieh Kelly
Around seven months you were growing so rapidly and so was my love for you. I couldn’t wait until I could see your face, hold you, squeeze you, and forever be with you. With the start of our last trimester, and with only about two more months to go, I could only say, “boy has time flown by so fast“! In the next month or so your baby shower will be taking place, and before you know it, you’ll soon be in my arms at last. I had much to be thankful for that Thanksgiving. I had a loving, caring family, and you growing within me, healthy and living. At eight months I took time off from work to sit back and relax from that place. I think I more than deserved to put my feet up and take a break from that environment that was so fast-paced. You still moved so actively around and your head even tumbled down. For you were steadily growing bigger and had assumed the position ready for birth! With your head down and your feet stuck in my ribs you did give mommy a little bit of hurt. It was said that at that point you were supposed to be all cramped up and not be able to move so much. But, you felt like a pro kick boxer with cement boots so I really did disagree with such. Doctor appointments went from every other week to every week in a blink of an eye. Your baby shower took place on January 29th 2005 and boy was it a surprise! In preparation your nana ran herself crazy, but none of this seemed to shockingly amaze me. She went days without much sleep and muscle aches, yes this is true. For your nana wanted the very best and she did this all out of love for me and you. The center was pleasing to the eyes in colors of blue, yellow, teal, purple, and white. There wasn‘t too many spots where balloons and other décor wasn‘t in sight. That day the weather wasn‘t so great because there was sleet, snow and ice. Therefore, not too many people showed up but everything still went extraordinarily nice. The gifts that were given melted my heart and there was nothing that could take that smile off of my face, even though against time we had to race. We played games, laughed and had much fun and before we knew it time crept up and it was all over and done.
Copyright © Shaina Kelly | Year Posted 2005
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Shaina Kelly Poem
Jayden Makieh Kelly
As each day and the third month passed by I was still shocked. But, my love for you was solid, set firmly in place and locked. At four months pregnant I felt your fluttering, and at first, thought it was quite bothering. I also got to hear your tiny heart beat. The sound was so sweet and pleasing to my ears of course, but at the same time it reminded me of a galloping horse! At five months I started to feel a little less sick and even got to feel your undeniably, strong kick! Now the feeling of you moving around and kicking, nestled in my stomach where you resided, comforted me because it allowed me to know that you still safely existed right there inside me. From the beginning, my family and I had been hoping that you would be a girl and allowed that feeling to deeply sink. We went to stores looked at all the girls clothes and imagined how pretty you would be in pink. At twenty-two weeks on October 13, I had the ultrasound that would determine your health and sex. Deep down inside I knew that I wouldn’t hear the news that I had expected. The doctor typed on the screen ‘Boy’ alongside your little wee wee, and I must admit the news kind of upset me. I was upset because I had gotten used to thinking about all of the pink and the girl names, however no matter what my love for you would undeniably be the exact same. Boy or girl it makes no difference, because for life my baby boy I am in this. At almost six months, your name was decided and planned with good meaning behind it. Jayden Makieh Kelly is who you will come into the world as. Your name starts with the letter ’J’ just as your dad’s. Your middle name is Makieh and was derived from a very special person in my life. He recently passed away and his name was Mack William Sandidge, Junior. I could not give birth to you and not include him as part of our future. For almost twenty years he did things that I don’t think could be done by no other. He provided and took care of me as if he was my father. Even though biologically he wasn’t, psychologically, and every other way he was. There wasn’t a limit to all that he gave, all that he shared, all of his love. I still don’t think I could ever thank him enough, so with your middle name I provided a small token of such.
Copyright © Shaina Kelly | Year Posted 2005
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Shaina Kelly Poem
Jayden Makieh Kelly
Your crib was put up and oh how beautiful it was decked out in those lovable carebears. I’d often just stare at it imagining your little precious body laying there. I couldn’t believe that the time for packing our hospital bags finally came along. I was in the stores all of the time buying little odds and ends, still shocked that I was about to become a mom. Your due date, Valentine’s Day, came and in my stomach my baby boy you remained! You were just as stubborn as your mother. But, I knew that you would come in those next few days or another. Contractions became strong, but the time between them at the least was about 8 minutes long. However, after a few repetitions they didn’t remain consistent. So, there wasn’t much need for alarm. It was a little hard to convince your nana to remain calm. Having so much anxiety about seeing her grandson, she got on the phone one night and called everyone! Then the concerns came from all, phone call after phone call about it being that time. But, we all had no choice but to sit back and wait until you felt it necessary to shine. I had even registered to take college courses from home starting on the twenty-eighth of that month. With you being due any day, I knew that taking care of you and studying would be a hump. But, I had to gain that extra agility and use that as an ability to take care of you, my main responsibility. For there was nothing that could make me stray. I had to, I had to pave that way. I made it up in my mind that I would never have our future suffer from any of my faults or laziness. I would not let our lives be consisted of stress, worries, and the world’s craziness. Remember my son that you were my main number one motivation. Remember that your being supported the hunger in me that fed my determination.
Copyright © Shaina Kelly | Year Posted 2005
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