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Brian Wallace Poem
God of Light
I awaken
In the dark of night,
And face my lord
The God of Light
Who guides me
Thru the haze of pain,
And takes on him
My guilt and shame
My comfort
As he takes my hand,
And shows me
How to rise and stand
Sinless, blameless
Once again,
Because He chose
To call me friend
A wretched man
Though I may be,
He offers fellowship
To me
I lay no claim
To being just,
He gives me grace
In trade for trust
Impossible
For any man,
Without the mercy
Of “I Am”
The song of God
Is in my ear,
Calming each
And every fear
He sings
His weary child to sleep
This loving shepherd
To his sheep
Protected from
All earthly harm
As I slumber
In his arms
No longer frightened
By the night
My father
Is the God of Light
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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Brian Wallace Poem
"The Wretched Prince"
You were my hope
And all my dreams,
But all of that has changed,
It seems
Because I treated
You so bad,
Destroying everything
We had
And if I could
Just turn back time,
I'd claim you and,
I'd make you mine
I'd treat you
Like a Princess fair,
Hold you close,
And stroke your hair
A precious jewel
You would be,
Honored, Treasured,
Loved by me
I'd be your Prince,
Your Hero true,
And nothing
Would I keep from you
But this is not
A Fairy Tale,
I missed the mark,
I lost the trail
Your "Prince" was just
A wretch, it seems,
Quite capable
Of killing dreams
A Hero?
No, I failed that too,
You got much less
Than you were due
I rack my brain,
I beat my breast,
Realizing that I failed the test
And I know this,
You played no part,
In the reckless murder
Of your heart
We had it all,
We were "that pair"
I ruined that,
It wasn't fair
I promised not
To play that game,
But in the end,
I hold the blame
You were "the one"
I always said,
Then cruelly left
Our love for dead
Your faith in me
Was rare and just,
I finally ground
It into dust
I crushed your faith,
And acted small,
And caused a bitter rain
To fall
I hurt you love,
And I regret,
The pain I caused,
You can't forget
And if I could
Reset the clock,
Erase the pain,
The hurt, the shock
I'd do it now
I swear it's true,
Undo the harm
I did to you
But time moves forward
I am told,
It leaves me sad,
And feeling old
With words too little,
And too late,
I took your love,
And left you hate
These words I offer
Unto you,
With hope you can
Believe they're true
You were so strong,
Yet fragile too,
I tore a precious thing
From you
I pray that God
Will soon repair,
The heart
I was so quick to tear
I thank you for
The strength you shared,
The love you gave,
And how you cared
Your courage helped me
To go on,
When all of mine
Was dead and gone
All I left you
Was pain and strife,
And I'll regret that
All my life
Please know your tears
Don't fall alone,
I miss the place
We once called home
This wretched "prince"
Will hobble on,
No longer part,
Of your sweet song
A Princess,
I can never claim,
But I will not
Forget your name,
My honor, blanketed by shame,
But I will not forget your name.
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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Brian Wallace Poem
Kara Jo
Kara Joy is what we named her
Not so very long ago,
But as long as I remember
I’ve called her Kara Jo
Now you could say the acorn
Didn’t fall far from the tree,
Cause what you get with Kara Jo
Is a pretty, female, “me”
We share a love for reading
And movies, good or bad,
And she can spin a story
Again, just like her dad
No, we’re not carbon copies
One look will tell you that,
Because she’s young and beautiful
I’m getting old and fat
She has her way of doing things
And doing things her way,
And if she thinks that way is right
She’s kind of hard to sway
Much like her aging father
It seems to be the case,
“If everyone were more like us
It would be a better place”
She’d follow me when she was small
Trailing close behind,
But one dark day, life got real hard,
And we lost so much time
We went from daily interaction
To every now and then,
And if I’ve known a greater pain
I couldn’t tell you when
Sometimes I’d text her in the night
To say she made me proud,
In those times of darkened silence
That were deafeningly loud
She got her scars and bruises
Most I knew not of,
But in my ignorance and absence
I did my best to show my love
We both walked down some rugged roads
That led us from the Lord,
But in the end she set the standard
For me to strive toward
She left her pain and turned to God
I stayed beneath its cloud,
Sometimes at night she’d send me texts
To say I made her proud
By faith she did amazing things
I remember to this day
She prayed for a stranger’s broken-down car
He got in and drove away
I’ve watched her take some hard life blows
And still do the best she can,
Unaware that she inspires me
To be a better man
I turned my blessings into curses
And struggled through each day,
She turned a “curse” into a blessing
And named her Rylie Jae
She’s watched me through my failures
And saw me when I’d fall,
And she always tried in her own way
To help me through it all
“Pure Delight” is what her name means
And it has proven so
But until the day I’m no longer here
I’ll call her Kara Jo
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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Brian Wallace Poem
Sasha
I remember when I held your hand
And told you about God,
You listened so attentively
And never thought it odd
I remember when I kissed your head
And watched you go to sleep,
We prayed that if you didn’t wake
The Lord your soul would keep
And as you grew I saw your faith
Grow right along with you,
And you included Jesus
In everything you’d do
I became your hero
With me you knew no shame,
Because I followed Jesus
And taught you to do the same
Every time I talked to you
You learned a little more,
You grew and took the things you learned
As you walked out the door
You had your tribulations
And your fair share of strife,
But Jesus had His hand on you
And guided you through life
As it goes, we lived our lives
And struggled through our days,
You chose to follow Jesus
I went the other way
You got big and I got small
As we went through the years,
I got weak and you got strong
You helped me with my fears
I remember you came to the park
And took long walks with me,
You told me Jesus loved me
And He would set me free
I remember when you held my hand
And watched me fall asleep,
And prayed that God would show me
My weary soul He’d keep
Now you’ve become my hero
With you I know no shame,
Because you followed Jesus
And taught me to do the same
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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Brian Wallace Poem
Murder
I killed three people yesterday
I know exactly when,
I used no weapon formed by man
I killed them with my sin
A mother, daughter and a son
Whom I’d sworn to protect,
I didn’t see their pain filled eyes
As they felt the blows connect
They never saw it coming
As I cruelly took their life,
A son, a daughter and their mom
I wanted for my wife
I loved them all, or so I said
At least when I was straight,
Yet not enough to stop the dope
So I guess you’d call that hate
I could have been their hero
I might have been a dad,
Instead I left a tragic mess
That was so much more that sad
The mother was my princess
And I, her shining prince,
It ended with a phone call
I’ve mourned them ever since
Sissy was a shining star
Whose smile would light a room,
Her laughter rang within my ears
Now silent as a tomb
And little man looked up to me
Hoping for my love,
Apathy and silence
Was my gift to that dove
An unsigned letter
Full of lies and a smattering of truth,
Was all it took to kill them
From grown adult to youth
Betrayal in the utmost
Was all I chose to give,
When all I had to do was love
For all of them to live
I’ll regret it always
And I’ll miss them evermore,
As I scream and cry and wonder why
I walked right out their door
I killed my family yesterday
I know precisely when,
I used the cruelest weapon known
I murdered them with sin
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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Brian Wallace Poem
The Dance
My mother died some time ago
And God took her away,
To begin her dance with Jesus
That continues to this day
She wasn’t her old self that day,
Her memories had flown
He invited mom’s new self to dance,
And the Father took her home
Mom never was a dancer
That I ever heard her claim,
But the steps she does with Jesus
Would put Fred Astaire to shame
Perfect mind in perfect love,
With perfect memory,
As she whirls and twirls with The Lord of the Dance,
And waits with Him for me
My Brother’s up there with her,
I’m sure he cheers her on,
And does a jig or two himself
When Heaven plays the song
My other brother’s with me still,
And our sweet sister too,
The three of us with our dear dad,
Believe all this is true
Mom is up there dancing,
All over Canaan Land,
Perfect in the arms of Jesus,
As He strikes up the band
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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Brian Wallace Poem
The Captain of the Arrogant
I wonder where that old man's from
who looks out from the glass,
The history that's on his face
Reveals a troubled past
His weary eyes though bright and blue
Are burning full of tears,
As if they're overflowing
With his sin throughout the years
I wonder if he knows the pain
Of all he's said and done,
To others whom he claimed to love
Who's lives he left undone?
The captain of the arrogant
And master of his pride,
He's just like all the rest of us
If we would look inside
His flaming, sinful, passions of his youth
Now just an ember,
I wonder if this old man
Has the courage to remember?
That everything you say and do
In this life has a cost,
And the future is forever,
But the past forever lost...
As I look closer at this man
And ponder at his past,
I realize this old man is me
Inside the looking glass
And yes, I do remember
All the wicked things I've done,
But I've given them to Jesus
And He's forgiven every one
The tears I shed are tears of joy
That I let freely flow,
Because I know my destination
Is where He would have me go
The Destroyer of my arrogance
The killer of my pride,
He took away my heart of stone
And put a heart of flesh inside
Yes I know where the old man's from
Who looks out from the glass,
But he's heading toward the future
And letting Jesus have the past
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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Brian Wallace Poem
A TREMBLING HEART
I pray oh Lord, my soul you’d keep,
As I welcome the black escape of sleep,
Small, trembling heart, in a full grown shell,
Sometimes ain’t doing very well,
I’ve figured out it’s not on me,
You paid my debt, on a cruel tree,
But that don’t stop me now and then,
From reclaiming ownership of sin,
So comfortable and easy too,
To grab it back away from you,
I’m prone to wander far from home,
But always welcome as your own,
Exhausted, searching through the night,
For yokes that are easy and burdens light,
The driveway light is always on,
And you’re always looking for your son,
When in the light of Mercy’s day,
You take burdens and yokes away,
Then once again it catches me,
Reality that I’m truly free,
Would that I’d learned when I was young,
All the prayers I’ve prayed, the songs I’ve sung,
Time wasted, both now and then,
In the headlong, reckless, race for sin,
Damage done by a foolish man,
Can you redeem that, in your plan?
I once was young and now I’m old,
But you have always been my goal,
You reassure that all is well,
With a full grown heart in a trembling shell.
Copyright 2013 Brian Wallace
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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Brian Wallace Poem
When I Shook the Devil’s Hand
I thought that I could do it,
I thought I had it planned,
I thought that I knew everything,
When I shook the devil’s hand,
Just a little bit of garbage,
Just a little bit of sin,
Just a little bit of common sense,
Would have helped me way back then,
What is it, makes us think we know,
So much more than we do?
To make deals with an enemy
Who hates us, through and through,
The definition of insanity,
From this day until then,
Is to do the same things over,
And expect a different end,
Spectacular stupidity,
To think I had the sand,
To walk up and stick my hand out,
And shake the devil’s hand,
When is it that we realize,
What we’re doing is so wrong,
Until we start to realize,
It’s been going on so long?
But the Father of the foolish,
Shows His mercy and His grace,
We discover that the tears we shed,
Are also running down His face,
He doesn’t help us make our “deals,”
But He feels all the pain,
When we, who have so much to lose,
Think we have so much to gain,
Does it ever enter to our thoughts,
Or cross our simple minds,
Those consequences of our actions,
Can last a long, long time?
Our fickle, suicidal plans,
Can sometimes last forever,
Family ties and friendship’s lives,
Are easy things to sever,
It took so long to realize,
And make a simple stand,
For me to get down on my knees,
To take my Saviour’s hand.
Copyright 2013 Brian Wallace
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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Brian Wallace Poem
The Girl Who Was My Wife
The largest portion of my life
Seventeen years of time,
A beautiful girl, who was my wife
Now, no longer mine
I blame no one but myself
In the fracture of her heart,
She did her best to keep it whole
As I tore it apart
I met her when we both were young
Our heads so full of dreams,
We did everything together
Just yesterday it seems
No formal education,
Not arrogant or loud
But in everything she ever did,
She always made me proud
She may not even know it,
She may not even care,
But I cherish every single year
When I knew she was there
I miss her words of wisdom,
I mess her sage advice,
I miss the look of love
I used to see within her eyes
I miss here gentle smile,
The scent of her blonde hair,
Her plain and simple presence
That’s now no longer there,
She’d lift me up when I was down,
And help me dry my tears,
She’d chase away the boogey man,
And calm my endless fears,
She tried so hard to make it work,
I tried hard to make it not,
And what I fought so hard for,
I suppose I finally got,
Our family left in tatters,
As best as I could tell,
And all the years since then, for me,
Have been a living hell
I tried again a couple times
As I’m sure she did too,
But no one else could take her place
And do the things she’d do
So now I cry at night alone,
No one to dry my tears,
At the mercy of the boogey man,
And all my endless fears
I tried to keep my hope alive,
That we might try again,
But my dead hope has been entombed,
Knowing we’re not even friends
And as I see her from afar,
I know how much I miss,
Her love, her touch, her gentle ways,
And yes, her tender kiss,
This one thing I want her to know,
The girl who was my wife,
She’s the best thing I have ever had,
Through my entire life
Copyright © Brian Wallace | Year Posted 2013
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