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Catrina Hanz Poem
I'm crazy beautiful
or plainly insane
I consider insanity
to be a personal gain
perpetual bliss
or so the surface shows
hidden secrets
no one can know
inside i want to scream and shout
im a jigsaw puzzle
with a million broken pieces to figure out
I'm an intricate web
you try and untangle
dont get to close
you may fall and strangle
my scratch is a cut
that sorefully deepens
a painfull wound
in which my memories seep from
I'm a gift to the world
one nobody can keep
I must be plainly insane
my beauty is only skin deep
Copyright © Catrina Hanz | Year Posted 2013
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Catrina Hanz Poem
It started out simple, I never thought it through. The start of an addiction so exciting and new. I could have never for seen how far it would go. If I would have thought it trough I would have been strong and said “NO”. It started out simple, It was my favorite thing. I never for seen the heartbreak it would bring. It started out simple, yet so intense, so strong. I could have never for seen the addiction would hold me for so long. It’s not so simple when the best parts of you break away, day by day. It’s not so simple when your favorite thing is something you hate. How could I for see what would become my fate? It’s not so simple when you’re trying to keep from getting sick but with every prick you get more sick; sick of yourself and this nasty habit you keep. I never knew it would go this deep. It started out simple, it ended so complex. How could I have for seen my life would become this unmanageable mess. Down low in the gutter, ashamed, and depressed. How could I have for seen id be under arrest, for this habit I love, it’s this habit I hate. It started out simple, it started out great. How could I have for seen id become a felon and in prison id wait? It’s not so simple, I guess it never really was…..next time I’ll makes it simple, next time I’ll say no to these drugs!
Copyright © Catrina Hanz | Year Posted 2013
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Catrina Hanz Poem
These waters are off limits
no one will know
I dip my feet in
move forward very slow
now I'm all wet
drowning in confusion
I fight and I fight
I feel I am loosing
I know I shouldnt have gone for this swim
and even though im drowning
I'd do it all over again
Copyright © Catrina Hanz | Year Posted 2013
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Catrina Hanz Poem
tempted mistress bore a son
acid spit from serpents tongue
sinners sin with no remorse
natures crule and twisted course
passions lust fades away
embedded in the soul to stay
pain conceived of rage
trapped with in a lovers cage
hatreds blade sheds scarlet tears
glaring eyes, ringing ears
adultery's sorrowed tail
an innocents life impaled
Copyright © Catrina Hanz | Year Posted 2013
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Catrina Hanz Poem
Salty tears and razor blades
The pain drips slowly from my skin
Physical pain sets in, emotional pain subsides
Then begins again
When the pain builds inside
I want to escape
I want to run
I want to hide
I can’t hide from myself
I do this to cope
When I’m down low laying broken on the floor
Left with no hope
In the moment I want to fade the hurt
I slash my pride
Demean my worth
See myself through your eyes
It’s your distorted perception of me
False esteem, iniquitous lies
It’s not easy living in an unhealthy mind
Wrapped in a warped sick self
I start to unwind
A bawled up knot
Frayed at the ends
Then I realize when I hurt my self
Its to my loved ones I must make amends
Copyright © Catrina Hanz | Year Posted 2013
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Catrina Hanz Poem
contentment contradicted by emotions supressed
more like medicated happiness
an unmanagable mess
lost in deception
denial, i lied to my self
with a destorted perception
I sabatosh my health
abandon my values
turn my back on my kin
in a control battle with addiction
I delusianaly think I could win
a downward spiral of adventure
in which im killing my self
its time to surrender
its time to seek help
Copyright © Catrina Hanz | Year Posted 2013
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Catrina Hanz Poem
I hurt so badly
The pain is deep
I cry at night
I cant sleep
my stomachs knotted
I cant eat
my chest feels heavy
I cant breath
I feel desperation
I feel despair
I feel im slipping
No one cares
I take this blade
the cut is deep
I rest my eyes
eternal sleep
Copyright © Catrina Hanz | Year Posted 2013
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Catrina Hanz Poem
The world is blind,
the beauty you hide
the wickedness you harbor, its all mine
they overlook what only i can see
miles apart yet so close
I feel your heart beat within me
through your eyes i see the pain
and I love every inch of you no matter how insane
I will follow you to the ends of the earth
I will do anything for you
show you your worth
with out pain one could never understand bliss
please torture my soul
torment me with your kiss
let me light your darkness
Ill let you capture my flame
two hearts become one
fused together by pain
Copyright © Catrina Hanz | Year Posted 2013
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Catrina Hanz Poem
certain words wont come out
a confused emotion filled with doubt
eyes tell the hearts desires
see the sin in the eyes of liers
is there truth, is there trust
is existance only a wim of lust
suddenly a whisper in the wind
reminded you of a commited sin
holding back the pain is lifted
standing strong when the earth has shifted
a breaking inside your chest
a sleeping body that receives no rest
your knes are weak, emotion strong
innocence that wont last long
eyes are open, mind is shut
this open wound, a bleeding cut
a single breath deeper then the rest
pushing you to do your best
make it through another day
may your eyes tell whatever your heart can not bring you to day
Copyright © Catrina Hanz | Year Posted 2013
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