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Chirag Subramanian Poem
The morning dawned grey and cold
Shock and fear had taken hold
Blinded and struck by disbelief
We rushed, jolted beyond belief
I still remember how Mother screamed
As she ran up the stairs
To confront that of which I had never dreamed
A life without YOU
With trembling steps, I reached the door
Only to see you lying peacefully on the floor
Still, silent, small and beautiful, like a crushed rose
I saw her bleed tears of agony, as I maintained my rigid pose
Quivering within myself, I approached you
A purer countenance I've never seen
Even in Death, you were as true as you'd ever been
The whispers abounded, indistinct and immaterial
They had come to pay their respects
A few out of love, a few due to regret
They spoke of your virtues, about your contribution
As if they were items that needed distribution
You moved from reality, into a frame
Your essence lost, we were never the same
I wonder why you've gone, leaving me here
When I've lost that which I hold most dear
Your smile, your presence, your embrace
Things which surpass all praise
I remember when I'd ring the bell
You'd throw open the door, with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen
Now, when I come here, I wonder where I've been
For you, sickness and mood held no regard
For me, love was all you ever had
I'll never forget the meals, that you cooked so lovingly for me
Regardless of the heat of the stove, or the condition you were in
You always believed in me, more than I did myself
You backed me, when so many others had left
You taught me right from wrong
O Grandma! You were always so strong
Even when your hearing deserted you
You always gave your best
Without bothering about rest
You worked tirelessly, the way you'd done all along
70 or 17 made no difference, only YOU did
The house was your world
Asthma and old age had done their trick
For you, every pebble had become a brick
You lived a soundless life
Yet you were the Ideal wife
You were the spark in his life
You gave Grandpa a lifetime of support
50 years, every step of the way
Until Death came to play Spoilsport
I remember the day, when I was but a child
How you soothed my tears, and held me close to your heart
I was secure, and nothing could keep us apart
Continued in part 2
Copyright © Chirag Subramanian | Year Posted 2012
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Chirag Subramanian Poem
I was innocent, my heart was pure,
Until you stepped in, with your remarkable allure,
You influenced me, made me pine,
For things that weren’t mine
Gullible that I was, I thought with my heart,
Regardless of the plan to tear me apart
I let my feelings take me over,
Like the carefree bud of a flower
I loved you, your nature, your laugh,
I trusted you with my everything, like a warm winter scarf
You were my light, my unquestionable support
My Rock of Gibraltar, where only Truth held Fort
And then, abruptly, the blanket was torn away from my eyes
On that devilish night, when I was torn apart,
Plagued by dishonor, surrounded by lies
My world crashed around me, and nameless grief tore at my heart
It was a unique experience, which left me naked, and alone,
I felt as powerless, as emotionless as a stone
Shock and denial had taken hold,
I was lost in the darkness, the relentless cold
A changed man, tempered by bitterness, is what I’ve become
For all of you in happiness, I’d like some
A reminder of what could be, to escape the truth, of what I’ve become
A reject, a nomad, just a guy in search of love
You hurt me, you destroyed me, you tore me apart
Well, you won, but I’ll recover, part by part
Trust no longer freely given, I react with skeptism
To all peripheral feelings of altruism
A hard shell, an impenetrable stone,is what I’ve become,
Where no flattery shall beat its drum
Banned are human emotions, no longer shall they hold sway
They are to be banished, driven far, far away
I live in a lonely, tempered world,
A life of solitude, bereft of feelings, none to be sold
A reality of numbers and facts, of clear, unblemished precision,
Life, death are constants, in the order of distribution
It would all be fine, but for my traitorous heart,
That shall always love you,
A reminder of my failings, my mistakes,
That convinced you to drive us apart
You will find your peace in the arms of another,
But what of me…..did you even bother?
Its all for one, but it ain’t one for all
I thought love a gift, as I never saw myself fall
Call me foolish, call me wretched,
For I shall always have hope,
That God will give me what I deserve
A solution, a balm, a life to preserve
For there ain’t no glory to be got in pain
No umbrella, to stop the rain
That patters unforgivingly around me,
As I bleed tears, again and again
And yet again………
Copyright © Chirag Subramanian | Year Posted 2012
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Chirag Subramanian Poem
O Granny, you were always a gem
A peerless rose with a rough stem
Sharing the boundless love in your heart
Without expecting any in return
You stood steadfast
As life tested you at ever turn
You loved me, more than you loved yourself
To an extent to which none can hope to return
For 6 months, you were in a coma
Waiting for me to come
And see you one last time
O Grandma, I still remember
The way my hands shook
As I constructed your earthly bed
There was a lack of thought
Only pain filled my head
O Grandma, I'll never forget
The feel of you in my arms
As we carried you, ever so gently
To the hearse
Adorned with garlands, of sweet smelling flowers
You looked like an Angel, from God's own Tower
Oh Granny, they set you ablaze
As tears streaked their way down Grandpa's face
I was in a new world, unreal and fake
The falsehood around me was to blame
You went up in flames, taking me with you
A part of me, that without which
Life itself would lose its meaning
As we left the crematorium, in a daze
There was solemnity in every gaze
When we returned, to the place that was your home
Grandpa looked fallen, weary to the bone
The renovation and flashy colurs made not a difference
It felt barren, deserted, left behind
Stripped of your essence, it was but a travesty,
For outsiders to come and find
Over three months have passed, O Grandma
Since that morning, when the world became unreal
Since then, every day has been a nightmare
I laugh aloud, try to crack jokes
But nothing I do, can fill up the gaping, endless hole
Which exists inside me
They say that time heals
The hurt and the pain
But what of unconditional love, stripped away from us
Again and again?
I promise you, O Grandma
That I will be, the man you always wanted me to be
I will fulfill, the dreams that you had close to your heart
I will prove myself deserving
Of the Love and Faith
You always had in me
I will be the Success, that you always hoped for
Oh Guardian Angel, may your soul rest in peace
May you be happy and content, in the Heaven
That God has created for you
For you are The glowing Diamond, You are Godliness in essence
You are that which is purest of heart
An Angel shining White, On Wings Of Virtue
I love you, Oh Grandma, to the depths of my being
Forever and Ever
In this life, and beyond
Your loving grandson
Chirag
Copyright © Chirag Subramanian | Year Posted 2012
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