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Ava Neil Poem
I'm naked
I'm numb
I'm stupid
I'm staying
This isn't love. You use me.
When you get home from the club or wherever you've been late at night,
You're clumsy with your hands.
Clothing seems too hard to get off.
And if Cupid's got a gun
Then he's shooting
But I can't leave.
No matter what happens, it's too painful to go.
Lights black
Heads bang
You're my drug
We live it
We're too uncomfortable with the lights on.
I don't want to see your face-
Slurred, clueless.
Angry.
You don't want to see mine-
Helpless, confused.
Depressed.
You're drunk
You need it
Real love,
I'll give it
Everything is hazy to you.
I bet you can't feel.
But I'll love you anyways.
I always have.
So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
And love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts
This has gone on forever, to me.
I'll try to be like you,
To see what it feels like.
I drink the last bottle of vodka
And hold onto you.
You've wasted your times
On my heart, you've burned
And if bridges gotta fall
Then you'll fall, too
Maybe this is the part of life
That people told me about
It doesn't mean anything
It hurts you.
You grow so attached that when one piece collapses
You do too.
Doors slam
Lights black
You're gone
Come back
You leave when the ordeal is over
Because you couldn't really care less when you're sober
You don't have a reason anymore
Stay gone
Stay clean
I need you
To need me
I want you to be happy
To be the way you were before.
But I think without you,
Even though I only see you late at night,
I would be destroyed.
So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts
I'm getting up to leave
The keys are for you
Now we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts
But I'll come back soon
I'll come back
Copyright © Ava Neil | Year Posted 2012
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Details |
Ava Neil Poem
I had this dream last night and it was perfect
It was everything I wanted my life to seem
So when I opened my eyes to this bright sunlight
I realized some things weren't the way that they should be
I put my feet into my shoes, which are old and dusty and
I don't remember when they were ever clean
I ran around my town asking people for my purpose
And none of their answers seemed to fit alright
Come keep me at bay
Cause the world's spitting us all out one by one
And we've all sinned enough to know that we're gonna die someday
I've tried to be myself but I'm running low on health
To fight all those who tell me to be a certain way
Though I don't cry out my eyes every time that a stitch undoes itself
Cause nobody's gonna save you when can save yourself, darling
Even at a quarter after noon mothers are singing their babies
Sugar sick sweet lullabies that I know all too well
Haven't you ever noticed the way that their voices crack
When the child forgets the words and the tune stays with them alone?
Come keep me at bay
Cause the world's spitting us all out one by one
And we've all sinned enough to know that we're gonna die someday
Copyright © Ava Neil | Year Posted 2012
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Details |
Ava Neil Poem
I've become tired all the time
And I wake up at noon
My dreams are too realistic and
Nightmares have begun to
comfort me
With their broken, clipped,
harsh sounds
I've become to breathe with
effort
It is no longer an automatic
mechanism that requires no
help
But a project that I work on all
day
Processing the steps and
remembering my task
Like a child learning her first
song
I've become to keep to myself
Never joining for meals or
Leaving the comfort of my cold,
dark room
Where nobody will disturb me
It will be just me and music
I've become emotionless
Like a rock, or a dirty street
curb
I will provide you with no
sympathy
Or gratitude
Only a solid form that has a
presence
I've become dysfunctional
Because one of my pillars has
been taken down
One of strings was strummed
too many times
One of my gears needs oiled
And one of my organs needs
repaired
I am not myself.
And who are you?
Copyright © Ava Neil | Year Posted 2012
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