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William Hearn Poem
Fragile long I’ve been
Broken like a split wind
Leaves blow through the doorway into the hall
Another scandalous fall
Desperately trying to fight the call to split
Some wit I’ve nurtured
An insecurity blanket I’ve carefully knit
Two wrist I’ve quickly slit
A demon liquid settles in the pit of my stomach
Another subject at the soul that I can’t afford
Be reassured I’ve left a trail on the floor
Self medicated I’m sure I won’t be sore
I’ve been watching the peoples lips but I can’t find a meaning in the static sound
But apparently it pounds
Rounds up my thought applies some spackle to my crack smile
Dials in my senses
Fences of my heart and my cowardly mind darts for the door
In a room full of ghost I feel dead the most
And each line I write is pondered
Many like blue notes are the scripts I’ve wrote
I refuse to sugar coat all the words I’ve wrote
If they fail to float to the top of your mind
You will find they shall sink to the bottom of your heart
The lights flicker and I peer into the eyes of the ghostly figure
Who will blink first
My lips crack with thirst
And I look down to one thing worse
My cracked smile cracks the mirror
The ghostly figure turns and glides to the light switch besides the door
He cracks a smile with a turn of the head
While smirking he spoke cursing me with another seven years bad luck
Am I speaking in some forgotten language
That can’t be manage by the mind
My tongue is silver lined
Once I went to the docs and said doc I don’t feel fine
Can you manage or help to find a remedy for what has been ailing me
So he pointed and said “well you see kid it’s right here, your heart of complexity”
Selectively he spoke his words in some kind laughable manor
And he ended with “this is no laughing matter”
I said please doc save your flattery it’s surely wasted on me
What is the answer to my medical mystery
He replied “I detect a hint of misery”
But I experimented with humility and on occasion solitaria
Counted my blessings sparingly
But none of these things seemed fair to me
So I paid respects in the streets
Tipped my glass to nonconformity
Drank to everything that was, is, and always will be
Like the sun moon and their inaccuracy
So sick of bureaucracy
So doc won’t you doctor me
Doc spoke up factually “quite honestly kid you baffle me”
Well thanks doc thought I give it a shot
Thanks for your time it means a lot
It hit the spot
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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William Hearn Poem
Sobriety is dying in me once again
The pain drains as I welcome home a long time friend
She is always their and is always fair she never lies
Just slides down smooth and we fall back into our old grooves
My blood stews in a chemical imbalance and my mind finally finds relief from
apathy
As me and my old friend kiss and lock lips she slips down into my soul
And once again plugs its holes
I never said a remedy didn’t come without tolls
So again the roses are red and violets blend to black
And once again I find myself speaking matter of factually
But the only sound she sends is my voice echoing back to me
I’m downing her and she’s drowning me
We can only be what we were designed to be
But she has always been a good friend to me
And I’m always too willing to pay her fees
Just so I can trade my memories for tranquility
Yet she is no difference than any other girl who has fallen for me
She is still slowly killing me
Her smooth curves are beckoning
But its her icy contents that bound us
And like the rest I always ask what will it hurt this once
But it happens again and again another lover
With a pieces of momentary bliss and death that’s hoovering in each and every
kiss
But with her I welcome the former and lace my fingers waiting for the latter
Together we clatter through this empty house
And laugh for time is now the only thing that matters
Let it cast our shadows and we can rejoice that ghosts have anatomy
Well that is until the sun passes a certain degree and even our shadows flee
Because not even they can bare the nightmare that is slowly coming to be
And they dare not guess my fate and dare not stay and wait
So I guess its just you and me baby
We can weigh our heavy hearts
And continue disposing of the memories it carts
Just as long as I’m asleep by morning because I’ve been promising
I wouldn’t let clean white light infatuate me anymore
So lets escape and take that hidden door in my mind
Behind it is a mystery that I’d like to find
Who knows maybe its death waiting to be greeting me
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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William Hearn Poem
I gave it all away for a moment
I would have done it for a second
Because the truth us held deep in the mind
And so very rarely does it find its way to the tongue
Or release itself from blackened lungs
You must live to regret
If you have done no such thing you have not lived
She told me she hates my depression
Asking what is my obsession
And why is it something never mentioned
Did I make you think
Aw sweetie are my thoughts finally sinking in
I’m looking down with a grin
She longs to be up there with him
She’s wondering was he forgiven for his sins
In her mind they all added up and he dissolved them and drank them down
“God has he found happiness”
“I hope he still remembers the kiss of morning dew”
“Will”
“God damn you”
“Together we were just the few”
“Alone we are just me and you”
She is screaming hard into the sea and praying into the sun
I hate to tell her its useless to prey
I’m not burning in hell I guess I played my little role pretty damn well
“He had such an abstract view”
“I bet in heaven there is laughter only because of you”
“God does he now sing to you as if some how in cue”
Sweety heaven is made of memories of us two
and it holds no resemblance to perfection
Because perfection is an idea and affection
That I felt down there with you
Can you hear me floating outside your window I’m singing softly keep time with
the pitter patter of rain on your shutters
I came back to tell you imperfection was my obsession
In the sobering hours, I realize this is all just a reversal of roles
And maybe it was what I was thinking at the time
But in that peaceful serenity of screams I went blind
And my tears fell like rain from the sky
My voice swelled and crack in steady time
In this instance I saw the light
Far off in the distance at the end of the rail line
I wish I could conjure up a lie
Like it was dust in my eye
But I’m too busy singing
About an empty shore line
A misplaced memory tossed into the sea
And all that I’ve hoped to have forgotten
Has gotten itself incapsuled in a line
Of some depressing song that I’m inclined to keep singing
But after the rains the black rose will emerge
And purge from my heart every haunting memory
Because the power of the mind is worthless
If it is not producing fiction to soothe the quiet addiction of the heart
I hope everyone will see that the suffering
Is universal and it’s a course for all of us to bare
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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William Hearn Poem
It makes me think how pathetic I really am
I can’t even remove myself from this bed
I remember how I use to watch the twilight paint the sky up red
Now I know I shouldn’t have swallowed everything I was fed
But I was just to naive to conceive where this path really led
And with so many men heaven must be full as well as hell
So I hope there is still room in the middle
I’ll wait here and twiddle my thumbs
And listen to the pitter-patter of rain as if it were tapping on drums
I’ll be singing until my lungs are sore
Baby soon I’ll be hanging on heavens door
Until that day I’ll walk this maze which is the second floor
On late nights I drive down to the cathedral
Sitting in my car aligned with my favorite star
I observe through the rear vew mirror to see what I saw
Some call it a hall of worship others the home of God
I’ll admit I use to curse it but now I just study in all
Brawling with my own thoughts
Conjuring up some bravery I stumble into the hall of worship
And while kneeling one knee I start raising my voice to heaven
Calling upon the creator of me
I call upon thee
I ask when did love come with a fee
I am just a human being and I’m just trying to be human
I drink I sleep, I weep, I keep a porch light on
So if my savior fails to reach me by dusk hopefully she’ll reach me by dawn
Today people speak of Scientology
But I shall not put my faith in scheming men
Nor shall I put my faith in priest do not believe in what they preach
Yet I do believe in a place we all strive to reach
So please don’t preach nor teach of absent gods
Even in all my salvation I’m phasing through each day
I look at life like it’s a book I’ve already finished
So I’ve put it on the shelf knowing how it ends gives me no help
Like a dog being beaten by his so called master I yelp in pain
Please God make this life move a little faster
Save me before I go completely insane
Now I know I’ve been a bastard
Like an old rusty caster on a mining cart I just squeak on by
I shake my head and think this just wasn’t I had in mind
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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William Hearn Poem
I must say art isn’t easy
Desperately trying to please everyone
Many of my scattered verses fail to appease me
I’m well versed in pain
I must say heartache and love are one in the same
These scripts will put the rest to shame
The poets are all the kids who try to fake it
We take it all to heart
Heart ache is where we got our start
Smartly I arranged my words
Just another fencing battle without swords
Just another one of my songs with out chords
Always exotic with a melodic sense of belonging
I can be calming or I could be bombing the last little hopes
I can play it cool
Play the fool
I can be anything within a few simple phrases
This still amazes me
I can see the world when there is nothing to see
I can paint a picture of how everything should be
And I search high low way below
Sometimes slow always fast
Few will know
When I pass and I will go
Like the wayward winds flow
Taken on a prayer
A shot through the dark into the shadows gone like thin air
And I’ll be nowhere and everywhere
But baby when you need me I’ll be there
This is a realization there is no easy way out
Yes I know not what life is about
And this grout in this bathroom tile holds me glued for a little while
Before this porcelain throne I stand trial
“So kid how do you manage to defile yourself so well”
Please do tell the mirror beckons
I guess I reckon that I like to forget for a fleeting second
And I hold no fear in meeting an end
I’m dying to be greeting this long time friend
So bring me that end
Send me to that horizon
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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William Hearn Poem
The tub is my kettle and I’m busy dicing
My tears will be the icing on this cake
This knife holds no reason to be fake
And if I will it, it will surely take
Take my life that is just waiting to break
I’m betting that these incandescent lights will be the witnesses to the last
seconds of my life
Tonight was long and it’s soon to be gone
A day is 24 hours long
But I wonder how long I’ll be remembered after I’m gone
And as I bleed I take my seat
On the curb for anyone to understand me is absurd
So have you ever heard the sun rise
And have you ever swam in vanilla skies
Can you decipher truth from lies
Well I’m glad to know someone still dare tries
And now the moonlight makes love to the light of day
From hazel to grey
I think now that’s the way
It makes me proud and my heart pounds in flutters
And the sun peaks over the horizon
And the light that leaks sneaks through the old oak
Then cuts through me like butter
I manage to choke up a final verse
Thank you for making my heart flutter
With a cool breeze my body shutters
An unfamiliar feeling is caught stealing my attention
I must mention that it took all this to show
My heart that the world can still glow
But maybe this came too slow
I must let you know
That no longer does my heart wish to go
The sky of grey carried an insemination of a brand new fascination
My heart has begun a regeneration
Once again I feel the will to fight
Every stab will scab
And if I’m lucky one day I’ll nab a piece of happiness
But until I see the light at the end of the tunnel
I’ll shoot through the night
In hopes that a blind old fool can find the right path
This shadow of an aftermath will walk quietly through the room
Trailing behind memories of agony and gloom
Once I find a piece of bliss
I shall turn around with a smile and beckon bring me that doom
I’m begging to be consumed
Place me where ever has room
I have a pocket full of change
So where is my cab across the river sticks
I’m a final fix with a pocket full of tricks
Shall we make this quick
I’ll let you have your pick
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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William Hearn Poem
I was only sixteen for a moment
Then seventeen for a second
Who would have thought I couldn’t hold it
The kid who could do it all
Who would have thought he would grow up and fall down
He never guessed that those speeding years would be the best
And remembered in tumbling tears
The old familiar faces are no longer around
So now I’m leaving on a journey
Burning through the night
Leaving some bloodstains to frame out the scars
That’ll jar our memories and blind the true life dreams
Now I’m feigning
Killing myself by dreaming
I’m scheming on redeeming my former state
This time I won’t abate
It’ll be straight over the broken glass
Another unspoken forsaken heart that I’m concentrated on breaking
Baby hip hop pop the top
Ignition as result of the drop
Stop think and listen
Silence listen
Quiet please another tragic vision
Lets mop up this which glistens
I was christened as pure
Raised as evil
Lets seesaw
Lets silence your broken call
Appall them all
Why walk when I can’t crawl
The perfect fix in a simple magic trick
So damn smooth
Splendidly slick
Now for the trick
Two simple props key to male my heart stop
Just a boy and a mirror
And all his fear of what times brung
I’ll fix what I can’t admit
Lets silence the dreamer inside
Not to lie so if you would say goodbye
Time to live or die
Three times thrice this won’t happen twice
I’ll look in the mirror see what I saw
Take the saw edges serrated
Time to cut out the heart that never made it
Don’t you dare try to save it
I’ll brave it out
Just whisper
I can whisper like a shout
I’m insurmountable
My dreams are unaccounted for
Living life as a whore
I’ll give and give
Please won’t you take and take
I’ll drown in my personal fire water lake
Condemn me for being real
Would you rather me be fake
Another choice for you to make
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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William Hearn Poem
And back when I was a child
I was shaped by how life started to defile
Absent of trial
Always another extra mile to walk
Learned a lot learning not to talk
I prefer to listen
Not missing a word
Remembering each that is heard
Some may have been better falling upon deaf ears
I learned a lot in a few short years
And how did I ever expect to grow with out tears
I may have been molded from clay and baked into stone
These shames have been chiseled into bone
So I’ll burden them alone
Inside my convictions have grown
I speak in mild half tones
And the wind has blown out the sun
And the milky way runs across the sky
I’ve tied a bow on my finger
To trigger a recollection of my collection of memories
Now I’ve begun to spill them onto paper
And I’m beginning to tapper off into a daze
With fixated eyes and a mind that prize at a heart of stone
Trapped behind some fragile bone
It’s a battle of strangle holds between mind and soul
The days are long and black
The thunder claps
The lightening snaps
The rain makes mud in patterns without explanation
Only and just for me
All in attempts to appease my self-destruction that is baffling
And my tabs run up I don’t have enough to pay a cab to carry my dust
And everything will always be as it was
Reality just does what it does best
My composure regressed
I’ve undressed all of my regrets
Always felt exposed
Now I guess everyone knows
Hope shows some bravery building and boiling over
And when I’m feeling blue I write some words that I never thought I knew
Sometimes lies always true
Just for me, never you
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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William Hearn Poem
On the rainy days I wind gently through the streets
Trying desperately to greet every new person I should meet
My demeanor screams of defeat
Just not the best person in this world to meet
But if you have the time my voice shall chime in your ears
I’ll bring hope to your greatest fears
You will talk and I shall chalk my theories in to your mind
At the end of the day I stray to my favorite dinner
Where the conversation gets finer
The waitress cracks a smile for every one liner I throw her
I pay my check in order to get on my way
The waitress always tells me I hope you find a better day
And I answer baby don’t you worry if I get through another winter
Spring will come carried on the back of May
Then things might start going my way
On long nights I fill up a lonely ash tray
I tap my foot that’s all it ever took and I’m on my way
Documenting the event of each and every day
Paying close attention to mention each and every piece
Like greased-lightening my pondering’s are biting down to leave a scar
Not so straight like bars
More like lines on a map we use to find our way in cars
Sorry folks I wish I could choke up a hoax
But reality always pokes its ugly head out
In all fairness what better thing to write about
A sprinkle of doubt
A small amount of longing carefully measured out
Finally a dash of hope
My personal recipe to cope with this thing we call life
Let us speak in generalities they come with much lower fees
If you should look you shall find the devil seems inclined to hide in the details
And the fine print never fails to ruin our beloved fairytales
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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William Hearn Poem
Though these words are all true
I never knew how much they meant
They’re the makings of my diary
Which is compiling with my every whim
And I know the future seems grim
When the sun descends the light goes dim
Don’t you fret the moon will lend itself as a night light
But on some nights the sun will refuse to stay out of sight
The moonlight is eclipsed and I seal my lips
And the moon drips over the blackened star
Two crypts in an endless galactic battle
Opposites attract desperately trying to complete what the other might lack
Like the light of day and the black of night
You see you must contrast if you hope to create a masterpiece
Or at the very least a memory that will last
Life’s a struggle to surpass the work of the last great man
So my tongue rattles in its cage
My eyes gage the force
My blood courses
And my mind divorces the eyes that I use to see
Because they can’t quite see how the world is
But only as the world should be
Again I flee into the mind that I find comfort
In charring with the riggers of battle lines
Drawn out in some fine print
Making the eyes bend and squint
I’m in less than mint condition
This is less than efficient
I’ve barely christened the issues that are on the line
And I paint some pictures withe the fixtures that dangle from my beautiful mind
So I might bind your thoughts
You may even find some truth or maybe some excuse to go on
Maybe to find a new way to look at dusk and dawn
So maybe drag the old rusty beach chair onto the lawn
See with new eyes what you already saw
If you can’t find strength to walk
Just muster up some strength just crawl
If you should happen to fall get up and stand tall
And if your thoughts should turn to death
Don’t count your breaths take a rest
Just remember the times the air was stolen from your lungs
Our lives begun so small and the world so huge
But now our bones are fused and the isn’t as it use to be
You must realize that the earth is massive but your world is small
None of us can expect to understand it all
Again I find myself on the brink catastrophe
These words might mean a lot to you
But let me reassure you they mean much more to me
Copyright © William Hearn | Year Posted 2006
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