Below are the all-time best Alex Gardiner poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members
To see a butterfly.
to view a morning sky.
Have the love of a gentle woman,
before I die.
The Auld Yin.
Hello yea bonny wee pawky thing,
sittin' there tuggin' at ma hert strings.
Aye yer wee ,an' oan yer oan yer hard tae see,
niver mind wee thing jist let it be.
Withoot you, we wid hae a scunnered land,
aye wee thing yea think yer oanly a wan man band,
Help tho' is niver sae far away,
life's dramas are nae a'ways dark an' grey.
Yer mair important than yea think,
mair important than oanything that's gone extinct.
Withoot you an' aw yer like kind.
this wurld wid be in a massive bind.
So wee thing get rid o' that pawky look,
yer really a giant in oany history book.
Since the beginning, you have been there to provide,
so yer wee sel,' behind a bushel please dinny hide.
Yer no' stonnin' there oan yer oan yea ken,
yea hiv hunners an' hunners o' ither frien's.
Oan iv'ry country an' continent yea hav' many kin.
fur eons an eons that's a'ways bin.
Dayin' yer very very important job,
so ma wee courin' thing dinny sob.
Be a happy pert o' this wurld sae great,
yer up there in lights, aye wee thing, that's yer fate.
Yer fate tae provide fur aw this world's life,
withoot yer life givin' skills, we wid be in strife.
Naw !!no' in strife, cos wee widnae be here,
so ma bonny wee pawky thing, ston' up an' cheer.
Ston' up ston' up, fur heaven's sake,
Ston' up ston' up, a great bow, please take.
Nae langer be a wee quiet gentle pawky thing,
cos great nourishing life you duly bring.
Oh ah ken it's no oan yer oan yea achieve sae much,
miracles oan yer oan there is really nonesuch.
But wae aw yer mullins an' mullians oh kin yea have,
yea kin feed them aw, like the proverbial fatted calf.
Yea see noo, yer nae langer a wee pawky thing,
wae aw yer greenie pals tae the world , greatness yea bring.
Taegither yea will clan, an' nae langer be a wan man band,
wae aw yer kin an' their amazin' skills at hand.
Aw yea amazin' wee verdant clever thing,
yea ken noo join wae yer pals tae bring.
Feed the masses aw aroon the world,
let yer flag of knowledge be unfurled.
Yea thocht yea wir jist a wee singular thing,
but now yea ken yer pals arrr 'around, tae bring.
Aye, aw yer pals, arr' a touch o' class,
nae langer ma wee thing are yea jist wan wee blade o' grass.
The Auld Yin.
To tea or not to tea 'answered'
The ultimate taste in tea,
as it should always be.
There is tea and there is the perfect cup,
make perfect tea? Yes, for all to sup.
Right! Now we can start,
making perfect tea to warm your heart.
Warm your cup and your kettle boil,
no tea-bag yet or you will despoil.
Sugar in your cup to begin,
aye! Sugar or what-ever is your sin.
Next boiling water you may add,
still no tea yet, not one wee tad.
Stir your sugar until dissolved,
your perfect cup is nearly solved.
Now! Only now place your tea-bag,
let it sit there, let it lag.
Leave thirty seconds then jiggle your string,
Straight up and down, no wiggling.
It's up to you how many dumps you do,
the more dumps and the flavor will accrue.
Warm cup, boiling water equals 82 degrees,
The flavor will always be, just the Bee's knees.
Never pour boiling water on any tea-bag,
'cos the flavor will be just blidy, blidy sad.
Now taste your tea minus the 'tannin' shock,
You'll notice the difference, like cheese from chalk.
Many thousand cups of tea I have drank,
Use this recipe and you'll have me to thank.
The Auld Yin.
Devonshire tea with Peter an' Beryl, beware,
it's no the fact that Peter disnae care.
But 88 years doon the track o' life,
an' 84 years fur Beryl, Peter's carefree wife.
Ma Bonny wife Gillian an' this Auld Yin,
oot fur a drive wan day, fur a wee wee spin.
Gettin' peckish a bit, fur efternoon tea,
nice scones fur Peter, Beryl, Gillian an' me.
Noo a nice wee cafe is called Sugar an' Spice,
we hiv eatin' here before so we ken it's nice.
Nice, but, the portions kin be a wee bit large,
a lot fur wan person at nae great charge.
In the wee Katoomba toon in New South Wales,
Sugar an' Spice's food niver fails.
we decided to share twa portions oan twa plates.
thats' fower scones instead o' eight.
Twa plates, fower scones jam an' cream,
lotes an' lotes o' jam, too much it seemed.
An' cream oozing o'er the tap o' the wee roon bowls.
far too much fur fower, no too hungry souls.
Beryl an me hud wan large square plate tae share,
An' Peter an' Gillian's plate hud identical fare.
Oan that plate anither dish wae jam in an enormous heep,
The dish wis a least 3 inches by 3 inches an' 2 inches deep.
Noo ah cut ma yummy scone in half,
an' so did auld Peter's better half.
Ah spread ma jam oan ma twa half scones,
The rest o' the jam wis whit beryl owned.
Noo Peter wis sitten oan ma richt, jist next tae me,
an' a couldnae believe whit ah could see,
The jam dish held o'er his twa half scones,
scoopin' aw the jam oot the dish richt doon tae the bone.
Hey Peter, whit arrr' yea dayin' wae aw that jam?
Half o' it's Gillian's ya sully auld man,
Did we no say we were gonna share?
Aw Peter kid dae ,wis sit an' stare.
Oh sorry, a furget summat , here tak sum back,
starin' dumbfoondid frae whare he sat.
S'okay Peter, we will ask fur some mair ,
Aye! Peter replied as he dropped cream--- iverywhare.
Peter could yea leave sum cream fur Gillian as weel,
did yea no remember we had a deal?
Whit deal dae yea mean ? Yer tellin' me noo too late,
the deal Peter, wis tae share twa portions, on twa plates.
There sat Gillian wae twa bare scones,
nae jam, nae cream, wee scone lookin' dry as a bone.
An' Peter's plate overflowin' wae jam an cream,
auld fly bugger no hivin' a clue,--- or so it would seem?
We three just sat and hid a guid laugh,
At the expense oaf oor Beryl's better half.
There must be a lesson to be learned here,
that insructin' Peter in future,------ you must be very clear:)
The Auld Yin.
Climate change is real
Tell me what happens to me?
turning a blind eye ?
'Imagine'. Life's wurth without, 'imagination',
could we iver contemplate creation?
A gif' to have in oor ain mind's een,
without it, nuthin' wundrous wid be iver seen.
Rabbie."O wad some Power the giftie gie us to see oursels as ithers see us"!
Wid that no' be a wundrous plus?
Imagine if, oor een had that gif' tae see,
aw' whit in life ,we wid luve tae be.
As a lad, tae see aw' lass's ways,
tae see their mind's een an' be ofay.
Tae ken whit they imagine life tae be,
whit they wid want aw' lad's tae see.
An' as a lassy, tae ken aw' Lad's minds,
an' their wishes, fur their ain mind's, tae find.
An' dugs an' cats an' aw' wee creatures aw',
tae see their wundrous thoughts we've niver saw.
An' tae see through wee burdies eens,
beautiful fields below o' verdant green.
An' tae soar wae oor imagination free,
Tae see life's wunders, in aw degrees.
Tae feel , the sounds, and see the breeze,
an imagine the thoughts o' aw' the trees.
Fur oor minds tae feel like aw' the fluers,
tae be coloured aw' day an' at ivery 'our.
Banish Poverty wid a'ways be in oor minds,
nae wars tae poverish aw mankind.
Equal rights fur aw' creatures livin' oan this earth,
let oor imagination gei strife the widest berth.
Aye , Imagine if aw' that an' aw that could be,
Nae sleekit thoughts o' oany degree.
Jist the power tae see hoo ithers see life,
Imagination tae banish, aw life's strife.
Imagine tae rid oorsels o' aw life's disease,
nae mair tae pay aw thay awsum fees.
An if we could imagine ithers point o' view,
nae need fur lawyers or the need tae sue.
Oh a wush in sum wee way,
aw' the wurld's folks kid be ofay.
O 'the power o' imaginative thoughts,
an' fur those thoughts niver tae be bought.
See aw' ithers points o' view, fur free,
Ithers views, as we wid like them tae see.
Jist hoo wunnerful the wurld wid be fur us,
a gigantic, brammer, humungus plus.
A'ways, afore a lay ma heid doon tae sleep,
Imagine guid things an' fur ma soul tae keep.
Oh whit a brammer wundrous gif'
Imagination,----- jist imagine. ----- If.
The Auld Yin.
A luv ma life sae full o' joy,
I keep ma interests at full employ.
Each day fur me is sic' delight,
every day, aw' day an' ivery night.
I go tae bed an' lay doon ma heid,
aye richt efter ma supper feed.
Ma thochts are o' beautiful things,
an' tae ma wee brain sic' pleasure brings.
Ah even dream afore ah sleep,
aye, ah do, afore a count those sheep.
Aw' the happy things that has been ma day,
ma wife,ma daughter, sons an' all things ofay.
I'm lucky growing plants is my joy,
auld as I am noo, an' since a boy.
Saft , verdant, vibrant, aw' kinds o' colour,
that grow in winter, spring, autumn an' summer.
I luv sculpture as weel as ma bonny plants,
an' aboot them ah very oaften rant.
An' a luv ma Gairden that's foo o' life,
sno' though, as luvly as ma Bonny wife.
An' ma bairns gei me luvly dreams,
aw life's great, thats what is deemed.
So when ma heid has passed tae sleep,
aw thay luvly thoughts ma soul dis keep.
When I awake frae ma gentle dreams,
wae that first gentle saft sunbeam.
Am oot o' bed like lightnin' jack,
an' oaf tae work wae ma luncheon pack.
Workin' among aw ma bonny fluers,
ah tend no' tae notice ma wurkin 'oors.
Of back noo ,tae ma ain luvly hame,
luvly , 'cos nae ither hoose wid feel the same.
Ma ither joy is cookin' fur aw ma folks,
an' I'll no' mention ma luv fur jokes.
Then there is ma luv in writin' poems each day,
am sure oan FanStory yea arrr' aw' ofay.
A guid night wae aw' ma kin beside,
ma happy face yea canny hide.
Hae ma supper then tae bed I go,
thinking beautiful things, Aye, that is so.
The Auld Yin.
Ah had a aulder bruther whin ah wis wee,
ah wis five then an' he -wis nine yea see.
A tendid tae follow him aboot,
bit bein' aulder he widnae care a hoot.
Aw jings a remember wan day at school,
oot o' ma pocket ma hankie a bullyboy did pull.
Whit arrrr' yea cryin' fur? Ma brother Jack did say,
that big bullyboy pinched ma hankie whin ah wis at play.
Noo bein' aulder an' bigger he set aboot his bloke,
at furst the bloke thocht it wis a joke.
Bit no fur lang whin Jack grabbed this blokes wee wee parts,
the bully bloke screamed an' had an involuntary fart:)
Weel a gote ma hankie back an' it stoaped me fidgin',
as that bullyboy bloke walked away haudin' his Nether region"
Naw ma bruther wis no fond o' playin' wae me,
bit he wid a'ways protect me tae the Nth degree.
Whin a wis Nine an' ma bruther wis thirteen.
Jack wis a'ways oot an' never tae be seen,
Wan day ma faither came hame frae his workin' day.
"Alex" he shouted oot the windae , cum in this minit frae play.
Jings, crivens he wis in a blidy angry mood,
a wid hiv ran a mile if a possibly could.
Did you burn aw those window curtains doon?
a looked up at the windae an' blidy swooned.
The curtains wir hingin' wae a wee bit charcoaly thread,
oh crivens a wished as wis blidy dead,
No me faither, naw it wisnae me,
jist then, at that moment, ah hid an' involuntary pee.
The door opened an' Jack came in,
his face white as if he had done a terrible sin.
Sorry faither it wisnae Alex that done this horrible deed,
oh so sorry faither I wis stupid, Jack did 'onestly plead.
It wis me as ah flicked a lighted match,
oan blidy fire those curtains did catch.
Aw a kid dae wis tae pull them doon oan the flair,
an' smuther the flames wae the back o' that there chair.
Noo , faither dinae explode,--- at aw,
even efter aw whit he had saw.
Faither said. Twa things saved yea Jack ma lad,
an' fur those twa things you should be glad.
First wan, yea admitted yer firey crime,
saved yer wee bruther frae a hell o' a time.
Second wan wis yer presence o' mind,
actin' sae quickly whin yea were in a terrible bind.
So ma lad, thank you for being so quick an' true,
no punishment but a reward for you is due.
Sadly for me noo baith have gone,
but niver have lights so brightly shone:)
The Auld Yin.
What is as gentle as a Butterfly?
What is it that helps you reach the sky?
What is it that makes life a joy to live?
What is it that gives, gives, gives?
So see and love that gentle one,
to be with for all time to come.
A blessing to wish for at a time in life,
that time, when longing for a loving wife.
We worry that when we choose,
we make the right choice and do not lose.
A single man's freedom of course, is at stake,
could it be the largest single mistake?
I married a gentle Lass,
married to that give, give, giving Lass.
This lass lets me reach the sky,
forever and forever she will until I die.
A Lass that thinks of all around,
this Lass's loving will astound.
Her heart is cast of solid gold,
her beauty is a joy to behold.
She is my Golden Bonny Lass,
my wife, my lover, now and of all times past.
A face of gentle smiles, so soft and quiet,
her touch as light as a Butterfly's diet.
I remember well that quiet, 'I do'
my heart racing, my brain in a steaming stew.
'You may now kiss the bride'.
Wow! Helter skelter what a ride :)
Now twenty odd years have since gone past,
Gillian Lynette is still that gorgeous Bonny Lass.
She is that wonder in the sky,
that gentle, beautiful, generous Butterfly.
The Auld Yin.
Mary Ann Dow Gardiner
Mary Ann Dow Stuart wis her maiden name,
Noo, she wisnae a Scoatish Lass o' fame.
Born in nineteen hunner an' five on the fifth o' May.
gorgeous she wis' at oany time o' the day.
Like aw Mums, she wis a'ways there,
nae ither Mum a ken kin 'onestly compare.
Noo am no telling yea ivery instance o' her life,
An' let's say, tae ma faither Jack she wis the perfict wife.
Wan instance in time with you I wid like tae share,
aye durin' WWII ma an' me hid quite a scare.
It wis a chapter in ma life as a wee wee boy,
stull in ma nappies an' playin' wae toys.
We lived in a twa roomed tenement flat,
six folks an' Bonny wee Tibby the cat.
Noo the oanly way tae hiv a bath,
wis in a tin wan ,which wis three foot wan inch, an' a half.
Noo this bath wis oanly fur this wee lad yea see,
an' it wis dragged oot in front o' the windae jist afore tea.
Noo tea in oor hoose wis aboot six o'clock at night,
an' a luved ma bath an' niver pit up a fight.
It wis oan a very dark an' a very quiet winter's night,
aye the night Ma an' me hid a terrible blidy fright.
Suddenly we were in the middle o' a German air-raid,
the smile oan ma ma's face quickly began tae fade.
She climbed up oan the bunkers sink tae hiv a look,
twa seconds she's up there that's aw it took.
Pulled back the blackoot tae see the night sky,
oh my god ma ma let oot this fearsum' cry.
She heard the whistle o' a German Bomb startin' tae fall,
an' she thocht it might jist pay us twa a call.
The whistle o' that fearsum bomb got louder then stopped,
ma mum fell backwards an' oan tap o' this wee boy did flop.
Aye, right oan tap o' this wee naked Body in the said tin bath,
wan minit her scream an' that enormous crash.
That's why noo I hiv a flat head an' am eternally daft,
naw folks a dinny blame yea fur hivin' a laff.
It's funny noo but no fur mum at that time,
jings droapin' bombs oan wummin an' wee bairns is surely a terrible crime,
As fur that Gerry bomb it did land wae a lot of malice,
jist up the road in Edinburgh's Holyrood palace.
The Auld Yin.