Details |
Angela Carpenter Poem
I ask myself...what is love?
But the answer...the answer never comes
Tonight, sitting alone with nothing but my thoughts to keep me warm
I wonder what love is
I wonder if his heart aches for me
I ask myself...what is love?
Am i the only soul that is unsure?
There were lovers
Ones i could've loved, thought i'd loved
A brief comfort, a warm embrace
And a chilly, forgetful goodbye in the end
Lovers they're called...why?
Lovers they are not, for my heart did not cry when they left
I ask myself...what is love?
Songs try to describe it
As if the music can make you feel it
Poems..they try to make you understand
As if words on a page can come to life
Only he can make me feel it
Only my heart can make me understand
I ask myself...what is love?
I think it visits us in our dreams
That's where it takes hold
That's where we realize something is missing
Where the heart aches for the first time
Waiting...always waiting for the one who will make it go away
So still...i wonder what love is
If his heart aches for me
I ask myself...what is love?
Tonight, tonight i am ready for an answer
So i close my eyes, and relinquish my dreams to him
The one place i can go and know he'll be there
Know that he'll find a way to make me see
I ask myself...what is love?
It's getting butterflies when you know he's on his way
Trying to speak through the lump in your throat when he's leaving
Dreaming of him,
Then wishing it was real when you wake up
It's the goosebumps that appear
Before his fingertips even touch your skin
And the sigh that escapes when they finally do
Seeing his picture, and praying if you stare at it long enough
He might actually appear
Its the warmth that takes you over when he looks into your eyes
And the fire that burns when you realize what he's thinking
Hearing his heartbeat
And smiling when you feel it's the same as yours
Its how your knees forget how to hold you up when he kisses you
And how you melt into him when he pulls your closer
Feeling happier than you have ever thought possible
It's finding yourself denying sleep when he's holding you in bed
Just so you can feel him breathe
And watch him dream
not regretting one moment you spent with him
It's missing him before he's gone
And pulling him in for one last kiss..ten times
Counting down the minutes, hours, days or months until you see him again
It's knowing you'll survive if he should ever leave for good
But hating that you'll never really live again
Stuck..always stuck re-living those precious moments
Forever
I ask myself...what is love?
And i answer...
He is love
He is my love
Copyright © Angela Carpenter | Year Posted 2011
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Details |
Angela Carpenter Poem
I'm dying
I remember thinking that
Still questioning it when i woke up crying
Drenched in sweat
It was a bad one tonight
Those never fail to linger the longest
The ones I can't fight
Where I'm never the strongest
Twenty-four, still the darkness scares me
It's the ally of nightmares
Helps them crawl back in
Together, an unmistakable and inescapable pair
Blankets, dragged over my head
A blockade for enemies
As if that could stop them
They trample through it with impeccable ease
Our fears they know
At our desires they smirk
Laughing at our blissful dreams
While planning the ones they know will hurt
Always about death
Usually not my own
Ones i care for and love
In the end, leaving me completely and utterly alone
This one, this one was different
They know death is not my fear
Instead they tortured him
His eyes i watched beg...his screams i still hear
Finding him was only a matter of time
In my dreamland he always awaits
I meet him there often
So they used me as bait
A heroic fool he was
Chasing me into darkness
They knew he'd come for me
Not knowing, towards me, they're harmless
I escaped their grasp
Knowing already i was too late
The life seeped from his eyes
To them, this was his fate
They forced me to watch
Then allowed me to live
Knowing the paid I would feel
I would wish i was dead
A lover in my dreams
Couldn't wait to meet him there
They felt my love for him
Now he'll never escape my nightmares
I can't let them have him again
So fighting sleep I'll try
I'll be stronger this time
But it'll only fuel their fire
How do you kill a nightmare
Decidedly demons
What other beings so evil
Creep into your mind while you're dreaming
If its a battle they want
It's a battle i'll start
They deserve to be punished
Their evil has nothing over my vengeful heart
My eyelids, oh so heavy
Like the clouds that hold the rain
Here come the shadows in the darkness
Upon me they force their claim
Grasping and clawing like fingers of a beast
Climbing up over the bed
Spilling over me, heavy liquid
They've got me, they're inside my head....
I'm dying
I remember thinking that
Still questioning it when i woke up crying
Drenched in sweat
Copyright © Angela Carpenter | Year Posted 2011
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Details |
Angela Carpenter Poem
Lying here,
Trying not to think of you
The more i try,
The more i do
Tossing and turning
Staring into darkness for hours
Why do i love you much?
Why do i give you so much power?
Though you're hundreds of miles away
I've learned the distance,
It only increases the pain
Full moon tonight,
Seeping through my windows
Trying to hold me, comfort me...
Like it knows
I wonder if you see the moon,
If you ever think of me
Is it trying to hold you too,
Are you asleep?
Does it tell you my secrets,
The ones involving you
How about my regrets,
It knows those too
No wonder i cant sleep,
My mind won't shut down
The lights too bright,
Far too many sounds
I could close the curtains,
Pretend i don't hear
But then sleep could come,
And it's my dreams i fear
Night time is the hardest,
Because I'm completely alone
Even so, I welcome the darkness
No one can see me cry...but the moon
I've had many reasons to cry,
But I'd forgotten how to
A wrong decision made,
Now that's all i do
Makeup hides dark circles,
A tear streaked face
I can't hid the regret,
Or feelings of disgrace
I thought i loved him you know?
That's why he was my choice
I still thought of your touch
Your sarcastic, soothing voice
He did make me happy...
Most of the time
But something was missing
I knew what it was...just kept lying
Sleep might take over,
Maybe I'll give in
Moon's moved out of vision,
All i can hear is the wind
I imagine i hear footsteps
Long strides that belong to you
But the more i strain to hear them,
The more i realize they aren't true
I wish i could make you remember
Remember how you use to feel
I don't know if you loved me
Whatever it was, i know it was real
I let him go,
And took your bait
Realized i love you...still,
I'm too late
Sleep is taking over,
Drowning me in its grip
Trying to stay above water,
Maybe I'll just give in
Sleeping means to dream
That's the one place you always are
You love me there, but I'm trying to forget
And this makes it too damn hard
There, you touch me like you once did
You remind me of your lips
You hold me like you'll never let go
Then i wake up...and you did
I'm almost there now, falling so slow
Into your arms...only here
You'll never let me go
There you are
I can hear your voice
You have been..and always will be
My final choice
Copyright © Angela Carpenter | Year Posted 2011
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