There once was a day I would watch every airplane.
Praying you was on it to come take me away.
As a child I wanted you around until the day, you actually came.
The day you came is the day my life forever changed.
I remember as if it was yesterday when you physically violated me.
Mental visions as early as the age of eight, but old enough to vociferate.
Visualizing mental pictures in my mind while I am awake very aware of the improper abuse I take.
Your body on me feels something like an autopsy of a dead body.
While you lay on top of me as you press aggressively on me.
Against my will your force kept me still.
I am trying to understand if you recognize who I am.
I try to say no hoping you can comprehend; I am weakling as you apprehend.
Mentally and physically I became involuntarily your property.
A main character in a horror story, and you were my predatory.
I asked “God why?” as I bare to stare into his eyes.
This is not thee love I seek; all I wanted was my father to love me, but not like this injustice of violation of my rights.
This love is not real; not the love I wished to feel.
As he tries to stick his tongue into my mouth too young to know what this is all about.
I grip my lips painfully tight as he tries to slip his tongue inside.
I close them tighter with all my might, as he whispers, “let me love you right”
I beg him to leave as he pried my legs open with his knees my insides scream “somebody please help me!”
As he whispers how much he loves me I’m praying for God to just kill me.
I rather be dead then a man’s punching bag.
As I lay there my body was dead, and I laid my soul to rest.
I looked around the room and seen the Old Spice on the desk the same fragrance he wore around his neck.
The sun began to rise as he began to close my thighs.
In that moment in time I had made up my mind any man that ever say they love me was just telling lies.
I learned the hard way that love does not kill your inside; love does not take your pride.
A fatherless child I shall forever reside.
Every day that passes that little eight-year-old girl dies slowly inside.
Asking Jesus,” Why permit this?” and he slowly whispers…as I gently whimpers, “faith is the light that guide you through the darkness, my words reflecting as a lamp unto my feet.”
“Walk unto my path I’m here to carry the weak, come into me you are weary and overburdened. I will carry the pain you have obtained.”
“I am your father and you are my child you are never fatherless because I’m always around.”
My secret cries are my pains I hide, hidden from the world to see.
Hidden so intense my soul became debility of weakness.
My heart hinders to collapse and deflates.
Completely of decay, secretly lessen for the amounts of importance.
Shedding everyday by natural process, my cries are easier to hide.
Hidden behind my diluted mask of faulty smiles, I portray when you are around.
As I wear with grace, deceiving you with an illusion of happiness.
I die a little more inside.
A cast away of pain, a cavity is what I became.
Over dosing the quantity heartbreak, so overwhelmed my heartaches. Now begin causing the feeling of great sorrow, never wanting to see tomorrows.
My secret cries of agony, a thought to die is where my truth lies.
Memories are influencing misery, emotionally and physically.
What hides behind my smile is vulnerability.
My cries vocalize, overflowing with tears burns my insides.
My heart is a furnace that burns for cremating my flesh of lies.
Keeps me feeling, as thou I am no longer alive.
Always walking through the crowd with my head up high, fore these feelings no one will ever find.
My secret cries therefore shall die when I die.
Then there will be no longer any secret cries to hide.
Nevertheless, until the day I leave this earth, my cries shall stay buried alive.
As I take my right hand and gently lay it across my chest, I begin to take a long deep breath. With my eyes shut tight every heart beat genuinely whispering cries I belong to you. Visualizing moving heaven and earth I thirst to touch you. Your love I lust…I yearn for you to wipe my tears if I shall ever cry. Your arms to hold me tight, your promised remarks of everything will be alright. Implying you’re here till the end of time. I lust to see your smile up close, to feel your heart beat as you hold me close. Lusting to be your wife, as God made water into wine I will make sure your forever mines. I lust to see you cry on our wedding day to be consumed with desire for my love you craved. Therefor never feeling like you’re less of a man. You know it’s you I cherish, our love so devoted. I will never judge you, my love is so true. I shall forever love you. Yearning for everything from you, lusting I adore you. As I hunger for your touch, so envious waiting. Impatient for your intimate kisses, I’m desperately seeking your intense lusting sexual attention. Your love is my weakness...My body itches to be your apprentice. I relinquish my body to you as a lifetime licorice. Craving your licking loving the closeness, my body quenches. My lips quiver as your tongue leaves its signature. Long strokes below my waist line, I vocalize for your appetite. As I lust into your eyes my passion erupting. I get greedy and needy craving your energy. Anticipation is all over me. Butterflies in my belly burn with intimacy, orgy devoted to our overindulgence fling….Forever Lusting
Thinking of thee day when I went to see,
accidentally looking at you made me feel like I was on Extasy.
I watched your eyes while they were watching me.
Looking into my eyes you knew I had those qualities of motherly nurturing,
morality therefore giving you that love story..
Connecting on all levels we both became thirsty eagerly, as if we had telepathy.
Our minds and soul became as one, as our heart beats began to beat as one.
Loving abnormally to an unusual degree,
chastity pure purity our love story...
Each day you spent with me, I took away all of your misery.
I became your biggest fan fore you were my man, by your side forever i stand.
Love so compact.
Loving the monogamy having one mate at one time.
Loving you for a life time.
Mourning for your touch that I began to love so very much.
Your generosity of your mentality intellectual capacity, your supremacy,
supreme power of authority love for me.
Is the best part of our love story.
With each touch I lust, real love i gush.
Having the ability for mobility to take tenancy inside of me.
You became my property.
We had symmetry I was the beauty, and your my harmony.
True and forever exceptionally...
Shining with my lively smile,
keeps you in denial with my G-Q style.
You say it's murder, I say it's a mistrial.
You misapperehend me to not understand me!
I can sell ice to a eskimo,
fire to the devil that lives down below.
I'm the tower with the infernal powers,
shining with infinite brightness,
causeing definitely blindness!
I wanna be rich *****!
Thats why I keep the gun at my hips!
My lips soft as silk,
body as smooth as milk.
Your addicted to the way I spit,
I'm a convict held in comtempt.
Your baffled by my ego,
but it just the principal!
I'm a dependant of the money I make,
and addicted to the abuse I take,
prosecuted for the way I think!
I'm the air that fills your lungs,
I'm that pill you take when you have a headache.
Solid as my body that naturally retains the same shape.
The illest part of my personality,
is the identity of me!
The diversity of being in the streets,
is truly the best part of me!
Daydreaming of you is all I seem to do.
Staring at your picture on my computer screen, wishing you were here staring back at me.
Your my computer love, my secret crush.
Leaving me in an intoxicating lush, your body I desperately lust.
If I can get to you through my computer screen, I will be able to show you exactly what I mean.
Long days and long nights of communication with you, helps me fantasize and make my dreams truer.
Love scenes play in my head, love scenes upon a fluffy feather bed.
I am dressed in all white, as if this was our wedding night.
You shirtless and touching me just right.
Delicate biting invited sweet kisses.
Deep staring makes my eyes glisten, and vigilant in guarding a possession.
As the intermittent gleams sparkling, makes the moon and the stars jealous.
I shine my twinkling smile; the thoughts of you are so worthwhile.
So in love with your artistic style, I am leaving your picture as my computer background.
Being your virtual girl, I want to exist in your world.
Hypothetically speaking simply coexisting, sadly admitting we are only acquaintance.
Forever my computer love fantasy boy toy, I deploy.
Fore dreams are all I have of you, in reality I could never have you.
I just cannot seem to delete my computer files of you so…
Until the day we really make love, you shall remain my computer love.
If you should ever see me cry, it is not because I am
Weak...it is because my eyelids are heavy from holding in all
The pain in me...I have eyes to see the things I am supposed to
see...Jesus died on a cross...the tears he weep was for
me...I have the strength of all the king men!...and that
alone makes me a STRONG WOMAN! I have a gift that was given to me, and that is my passion for writing. My inspiration that burns inside of me...I write from my heart and from the things I have seen, therefore my wisdom made me the woman I am now, and many before me...my life path has been written out for me...and that's my motivation that guides me.
Pondering about my existence lying here staring at the ceiling the reality of my presence.
I am dead walking upon the living.
Everyone that has enter my life made promises to love me,
Each promise that was broken took a piece of life from me.
They say we live in the land of the free,
But in this world everything has a price and nothing is free.
People use and abuse you throw you away when they no longer have use for you.
Life has taken my happiness all that is left is sadness.
I walk with the living like nothing has happen, but the universe knows everyone that’s crooked.
The molesting priests the liars, the untrustworthy thieves, murders in solitary.
We all are dead, and they walk this earth right along with me.
To be alive but non-existing, to see the same faces everyday but not speaking.
Having to be touched with no emotion, I am emotionally exhausted shallow exhaling.
Suffocating in silence as I walk through the crowded streets,
No one sees the decay, but me.
Swallow up with misery dehydrates me, and thirsty for the living to notice me.
I walk upon the living sluggish as if I was a fixture of an unfinished piece of equipment.
Footsteps left of evidence that I was here.
No one will notice because no one cares.
I am in limbo death of an unbaptized infant a lifetime of darkness.
Cursed by evil parents’ leaves me damage, I am alive but no longer living.
Condemn to eternal punishment, as my heart at rest I confess I been walking dead.
I am an observer even a spectator feeling like a human gallbladder there but not needed.
A musical instrument with no sound vibrations: a guitar with broken strings playing a silent harmony.
One beautiful blank canvas I am Picasso with no paintings.
A negative that will never be seen I am a photograph without developing.
I am physically walking among the living, and I am not even breathing.
Until I lay in my grave everything will remain the same.
When I am called to those pearly gates I will finely find happiness,
And no longer be walking dead upon the living.
As I leave my footsteps behind me, death walks as a passenger besides me.
Your a bird, with no wings!
Your soul is lost and lives in the streets.
Why sell your body the way you do?
you least can get your son some new shoes.
If you going to sell your body,get what you can get.
You have kids, you need to get a grip.
Do you really want your daughter to grow up like you?
To flag down cars for every man that comes threw!
Why are you selling your last food stamps?
To pay a cell phone bill that has laped.
This is no debate, your son lips is cracked from being dehydarted.
Why do you make them suffer for the things you do?
Look into their eyes. thats the hatred for you!
Your baby is crying tears, for you can hear.
Crying to be loved by you,
You can really fix the things you do!
Each child is a gift from God, A bright shining star.
Look inside your heart,
and ask your self is this is what you want to be.
A chicken head that stay in the streets.
Ask God for help, when you lay down to sleep.
Pray the lord your soul to keep.
If you should die before you wake,
ask him to help take your kids pain away!
Some one should decapitate you,
for all the pain you put your kids threw.
So stop having kids just for someone eles to raise them.
I guess it's for the best, because you really don't deserve them!
They cry for help, they beg of you!
Your a lost soul, and only God can judge you!
I'm here to signify, to make known, to imply, why I'm so fly!
I'm a women separated from the rest,
or from all others I'm the best!
My self-esteem is overwhelming.
Having the power of attracting.
I pay the cost to be the boss,
without no flaws!
Cold as ice, hotter than fire.
Cooler than the winters degrees,
warmer than the summer breeze.
Momma was a rolling stone,
I was put here to claim her throne!
Atribute to the best,
now time for the others to be layed to rest!
My contribution is to the best,
respiatory to all the rest, hitting them straight to the chest.
That's why they call me superfly!
They say birds in a flock fly together,
I fly alone in any weather!
No one can do this better.
Born on leap year a birthday that comes every 4 years!
keeps me sincere!
Sincere to the game, and loving all the fame!
Rape'ing hearts while I'm climbing the charts,
That's why I'm fly!