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A Certain Kind Of Death
She was in love
Their expression of it
Was the perfection of it
The way they shared
What they had
Was beyond compare
Today is the culmination
Of their dedication
Today she is pregnant
Overwhelmed
Overjoyed
Her heart sings
Then the phone rings
At the hospital
Next to her dead husband
How is this possible
Why did this happen
Grief stricken
But not heartbroken
She still had a piece of him
She had to be strong
For their child
Even though he was gone
She had to find a way
To march on
Pain and spot bleeding
At the hospital again
Getting ready for birthing
No rhyme or reason
For complication
She took care of her body
Took care of her baby
Its two months too soon
For the child to leave the womb
Lacking strength and power
It only lived an hour
She could only scream
She could only scream
No strength to go through the motions
She hasn’t seen family or friends
Trying to find something within
nothing left to give
No reason to live
Her mind is out of reasons
she is dead inside
Her memories fading away
She’s doesn’t want to lose them
Tries to hold on to them
She racks her brain all day
Trying to find a way
To keep them fresh and vibrant
It came to her at a convenience store
A fisherman was buying some worms
She saw them wiggling
Saw them moving
She bought all they had
And took them home
She knew she had gone mad
But she didn’t want to be alone
Lying in her bed
Longing for the dead
She put the worms in her womb
And pretended her baby was alive
Her days were filled with joy
They were going to have a boy
Her husband would stay home
He could finally feel him kick and move
His happiness was there only wish
They would love and cherish
Every moment of everyday
The perfect family
For everyone to envy
She wasn’t alone anymore
She didn’t have to cry
She was no longer ripped and torn
Her evenings were horrifying
She wasn’t taking worms out
She was reliving her baby dying
She never once heard it crying
Never got to hold it in her arms
Failed to keep it from harm
She was useless
She was helpless
She was hopeless
She should have died too
She should have kept him inside her
Even if it had killed her
She decided one day
To keep her baby
Decided not to let the doctors take it away
She started to feel some pain
She decided on a name
She can barely move now
She would keep David safe somehow
She’s constantly bleeding and convulsing
She can feel his life pulsating
She gave birth before she died
With the worms pouring out
and of one thing there is no doubt
There is a certain kind of death
Waiting, for some of us
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2013
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you want to know a secret
when I write a poem and it's perfect
i dont share it
i bury it
deep inside of me
where no one else can see
i mean its perfect
not like this shift
it's elegant, poignant,
simplistic, bueatful
trucking perfect
its not erotic
but i read it
mentally masterbate to it
a euphoric chorus
straight form thesaurus
its just that great
im not being egotistical
if read, it would become universal
a meter tethered in clasical measure
a rythmic flow
with many metaphoric undertows
an iconic harmonic tonic
to make you feel like an embryonic hedonic youth
im not being napoleonic
its an actual truth
factually accurate
high in heaven
it produced a tear in the eye of god
who proclaimed
not a single flaw
not a single flaw
and he only saw what i wrote
well, because hes god
me being me i like to tease
allow me to be inclined to share a few lines
blow your mind
redefine your collective defective perspective
realign your ineffective respective connective tisue
"all my cows milk is homogenized
all my crows are well organized
all my sheep like to stare and creep
like to stare and creep"
but you'll never see
the rest of my secret poetry
that only exsist inside of me
cows will always moo
crows will always ka kah
sheep will always go baah baah baah
and the perfect elagance
of my literary inteligence
will die with me
never being seen
qouted, memorised or plagerized
as i will say with my last gasp
the next line being twice my last
all you super-duper-soupers can kiss my ***
ok all you super-duper-soupers have been slammed. if you want to slam me back just a few things. make it funny. make it a little nonsensical and definitly make it over the top
and if you do slam me back send me a soup mail or leave a comment so i can go read your slam.
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2015
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the smile on my lips
is forced and coerced
I pretend to pay attention
give the best possible advice
everyone praises me
I 'm so kind, polite and nice
its all just automation
I rarely actually listen
certainly don't care
all I'm doing
is playing human
blending in
fitting in
I'm so perfectly hidden
you 'll never even
see a curtain
from where I stand
majoring in fronts
put up on a pedal stool
for computing with fools
I'm so perfectly hidden
smiling from time to time
labeling those
with all sincerity
open solitary
passing along an appeal
continuing to fit in
blend in
pretend
force program
is it just me or
am I the perfect human
for p.d's collaboration contest but I wont say who wrote what part.
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2015
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Closure eludes my clasp
Love wilts, somehow lasts
The destination beyond my grasp
The dream decays day by day
Your light, which never fades
Simply stopped shinning my way
Castrating chains of second chair
Faithfull, I wither for you there
Sucking stale stagnant air
Barely beating beneath my breast
My heart, now a hospice
Gently lays it all to rest
Lightly felt faintly heard
Pumping, pain-numbing words
Its over…its over… its over
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2015
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I gather up all of my courage
My gaze drifts to the evening sky
All that space there between
Alien visitation must be a lie
The sun and moon still shine for us
Eventually they burn out and die
Everywhere a sea of murkiness
With little spots of distant light
No comfort in their glowing beacons
They lack warmth beyond their sight
All the wisdom in every book
Can’t make sense out of a starry night
We may someday sprint off this rock
Conquer every planet to the last
Our population my even explode
An empire that will be unsurpassed
The only thing worse than a prison too small
Is a prison that is too vast
Dedicated to the Messiah.....He knows why
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2013
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His mind has all the meaning of a madman that is screaming
Tortured and tormented, a life lived to be lamented
Drained and defeated, his family finally retreated
Leaving him believing that he was beyond redeeming
The doctors sent in spoke of hope and healing
The drugs they administered only made him more demented
Cemented is the feeling that his life is just an echo
Of an endless, timeless, all-consuming screaming
His best friend is a disproportioned bird, appropriately named buddy
Whose monotonous motion in drinking is somewhat soothing to his being
Though not potent enough to stop, the persistent pounding of the screaming
Often he stares into the emptiness of nothingness, contemplating the beauty
of its existence
Only to find his mind is drowning in a confounding conundrum he can’t quite
define
It’s hard to be philosophical when your mental testicles have fallen to the proper
level
So sometimes he whispers tongue twisters until his brain blisters
Madmen mask madness in the meticulous mastery of mindless tasks
Buddy was telling a troubling tale, of a dragon drunk off of some dwarven ale
Who through two days, threw up flames and burnt down the tavern and town
When the door to his room opened with a plume of plum perfume
In stepped an inept and unkempt nurse named Nancy
Her green eyes and fiery red hair caused his heart to flutter and flair with fancy
She had quite the quiet voice and was quick to trip over her own two feet
A bit naïve, she would easily believe anything she had heard or seen
He knew he would make her his, no matter the time nor energy
It was easy for him to pretend to be prim and proper
Just a mask to don in order to dupe his doctor
Circumventing the system that couldn’t save him
He was as he always had been and would be
In constant pain and agony with no desire for sympathy
Just in need of some freedom from his prison and medication
Meditation and mantras had given him the sentiment of a design
On how to inhibit the screaming, and maybe even end it
Four years plotting and planning the perfect moment of promise
A fire formed from a single flamed fueled from an accelerant
It raced through the halls, up the walls, over the ceiling, killing all the residents
Eighty-eight inmates and staff burned alive in what felt like an instant
Such little time to search through the bodies, looking for a single person
He found her on the fourth clinging to the bathroom faucet
He lost his virginity to the burnt corpse of Nurse Nancy
To his amazed mind, he was astonished to find, the screaming was silenced
just a note I cannot reduce the font so the lines fit without overlapping as they
do in stanza two
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2014
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The constant assault of the silence on his senses is intense
Hands clenched in fist he wished for noise and bliss
Buddy stopped talking and drinking he begins pacing as he’s thinking
Tired from walking he knells before the bird and begs him to start talking
Every emotion emerges inside him as a whisper in his ear
Tears stream down his eyes, as he cries, victim of his own lies
The screaming wasn’t the problem only a symptom
He hugs his knees, bites his lip, bleeds, and tries to listen
The burnt and hallow hospital once his prison is now his home
Where he wrestles with his inner demons trying to grasp his own emotions
Guilt over his crime haunts his mind all of the time
He dreams of his love Nancy burnt and covered in blood
She deserved no less than pure happiness instead she is dead
He bends downs, kissing buddy on the forehead, crying
Dying for the company of his only friend and companion
He begs god for forgiveness for the sins that he can’t amend
Blood slips then drips off his bit and split lip into the cup from which buddy sips
Buddy’s head begins to bob, he sobs as buddy’s black beak bares a glob of blood
He thinks, as buddy drinks, that the blood is the key to his friend being freed
The bird absorbs the blood then stops bobbing, he begins thinking and plotting
His brain decreed a dream where people scream and bleed unheeded by the need to feed them
He strains his brain as he schemes of means to bring his dream from fantasy to reality
He felt like a little boy, full of pride and joy, from finding a new toy
His mind frothed with frenzy as he indulged every fancy, except thoughts of forgotten nurse Nancy
There is a drug called lysergic acid diethylamide, or simply just acid
A large enough dose introduced into the system can make the brain rancid
Though he doesn’t have a P.H.D. or even an internet bought certificate
He learned enough from books and his doctors, he’s positive he can make it
An old abandoned building untouched by the fire is perfect for his laboratory
It has everything he will need, drugs and all, even has a lavatory
Soon buddy would have more blood then he could ever think to drink
Soon he would hear the screams that would bring him back from the brink
All the preparations were complete in time for the Fourth of July commemoration
When most the city will gather on the waterfront for its yearly celebration
He was the first to arrive in the morning dressed in his finest Sunday suit
Purple pants and shirt with silver lining with a black ten gallon hat to boot
He took a moment to savor the silence before setting up his special stand
He watched the people mingle and patiently waited to unleash his plan
When the day reached the hottest he started to hand out toys to the kids
Super soakers filled with acid, with a reward promised to whoever gets the most hits
Wave after wave, the children came to get a squirt gun and chase the reward
Wave after wave, the children spread the seed of his madness into the herd
It took less than hour for every single person to get implanted
Then he watched and waited for his wish to be granted
Then the worst thing that could happen, happened, nothing, nothing at all
As it became nightfall he crawled into a ball and began to bawl
From frustration to fear his emotions took him to unfathomable despair
Then somewhere above the clamor of the festivities, a scream filled the air
Chaos, pure unadulterated chaos, spread through the crowd like wild fire
They committed every act of sin and deplorable indecency their hearts desired
He walked amongst them, untouched, as their leader…..nay their god
He searched through their twisted minds, enhancing every flaw
Thousands upon thousands, screamed as they bled
Thousands upon thousands, gone mad and then dead
Through all the insanity he saw a redheaded angel left untouched
He knew in that exact instant that he loved her so very much
He walked up to her, bowed, and then tipped his hat
Brushing her cheek, with a whisper, he renamed her Nancy
He pulled out a chair and sat, setting her down on his lap
He indulged in the flattery of her beauty, the beauty of Nancy
He caressed her ever so gently, and kissed her gently more
He lost himself in the sensation of her skin, the sensation of Nancy
Unable to be contained anymore, he gutted her and threw her corpse on the floor
He wanted to see how the inside worked while he made love, made love to his Nancy
With his lust sedated, and his love soon to be cremated, he pulled buddy from his pocket
He set the bird in a puddle of blood, watching him bob as he quenched his thirst
The few survivors left started to chant and incantation he can’t ever remember hearing of
But he joined them, singing louder and louder, letting his voice rise above
Once again Nancy burned for him while buddy swelled with blood until he burst
The wood splintered and shattered, showing a growing and beating heart
And all the blood for miles around came rushing in like a rabid river
It wrapped around the heart and took form, hell rejoice, Malkav is reborn
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2015
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A Hindenburg-Esque explosion
Say goodbye to rationality
While all the daily trespassers Scream!
"OH THE INSANITY!!!!"
I sleep with sinners
Weep with the saints
I'm twice the fossil
Three times the oil
Slick as an unlit candlestick
Hid the wick
Burn twice as bright
Burn twice as fast
If it's not to much to ask
Please don't touch
I plan to last
You spend your lives
Looking for a light
The brighter
The better
While you
Were playing with fire
The wolves
Made the cellular decision
To develop night vision
Some worms
Who make their home
In the ground
Have it in their genome
To have eyes
Big surprise
They said no
We'll live off of pure sound
Ah the simple solutions
You prefer a crutch
To evolution
Let me explain more
In the abyss
Above the ocean floor
The fish use light
To lure in the prey
Others use it to confuse
The predator
So they can get away
Why do fish
That live in the absence of light
Even have eyes
Plato was wrong
All things are swallowed
In madness
Death is just the path
Given to the stubborn
Given my level
Of insanity
I'll live forever
I'm too crafty
Developed invisibility
Nothing will catch me
Nor know when I come
Or where I go
Unless I need an alibi
Seriously though
Why do those fish
Have eyes
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2016
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Angel rift star dust
In one hand
The sun
In the other
The moon
In the mind
The earth
In the heart
The space to comprise it all
But I have skimmed the rim of the abyss
Stood on the edge of a ledge and blew it a kiss
Took a dive from so high to enjoy the freefall
Than I stayed for a day in the heart of sheol
I got those streamlined moves timed to avoid the hate
I got those sidelined hooves signed by the eye of fate
I'm dipping diamonds in gold for the souls that you sold
I'm lifting layers of lies from the beats you baptized
Using that haptic magic
Fantastic acoustic
Let the mind drift
The heart combust
Tripping on my angel rift star dust
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2023
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give me a reason
to take the pain
in this season
of heavy rain
I was a glass gong
just waiting to be shattered
but I feared for so long
that nothing else mattered
so keep your faith
and your broken word
no one is safe
from the double edge sword
now I just want to know
how to be who I was
but I can't let go
its not what a warrior does
so bring on the pain
and screw the reason
because in this rain
its the killing season
note....I cant believe how many lines start with and in this poem
I have my plate and fork out and am ready to eat crow
Copyright © Nathan D. | Year Posted 2014
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