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Patrick Parks Poem
Perhaps you see me
it may be your gift to see
or merit for hard work
or maybe you paid for it with the lashings you endured
but surely it is now your inescapable wretched curse
as the truth haunts you
but you cannot close your eyes
like me.
It is my fault I am as this
to be as false as I am
false is my name
I cannot love that
I have buried it inside
and run away
because it is too ugly
easier to smile and pretend.
My grandmother saw it in my blackened soul
clever and easy to lie
she hurt me
made me ashamed
and broken
to protect the world and even me
but her tricks did not work
because I have killed too many hearts
and poisoned those that survived
even my own.
I am cold
and it is right I have suffered so
because I lost my heart
and replaced it with a ticking clock
that pretends to beat like a happy butterfly
and tries to convince me I have feelings
that I cannot reach
I am a masquerader of abundant hollow emotions
that laugh and smile and cry
but I never face myself
in the dark alone
because there is nothing to see without a light
my flame has no fuel
unless I suck it from another's bloody neck.
I do not know myself
because I cannot bear to look
but I hate myself as much as you hate me
and you should
because every love I'm given
is less for the world
I am a black hole
I give to get
like Hansel and Gretel's keeper
I only give love
to fatten up my lover
and open her precious tender trusting heart
so that I can consume it in eventual flames
and steal all of their future hope
and faith in humanity.
And I don't know how to stop
and am too afraid to stop myself
with the knife I keep hidden
but never have the courage to use
because I am a dark monster
that pretends to be inviting
like a pristine beach
on a boxing day morning
beckoning humanity
to my shoreline
so I can consume them
with my hungry tsunami
and leave them writhing in pain
with all hope in shambles.
Rescuers arrive in love
one after another
I greet them with open arms
as if I am deserving
needy
blinded behind my veil
pretending to myself until it is too late
and just as they almost open my heart
I swallow them under my next crushing wave.
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2011
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Patrick Parks Poem
I am a monster
A tormented work of God’s hand
I will roll over you
Like a storm
Because that I am
My energy will attract you like a swarm of bees in spring
Into your lover’s bed
Where I will remove tranquility
From you mind
Before you reject me
I am a Tesla
Coiled
My fingers set to spark
They will suck the life out of your longing
You will desire to burn again in my hell
But you will remove me
And keep me at bay
For I am too strong in field
To leave close to your heart
Yet I will possess you
Not because I own you
Only will I own your desire
To wrap around my tongue again
And from inside your womb
You will grow a hand longing to pull me into your core
Yet I will unwillingly shake your bed
While you try to sleep
Because I cannot stop
Even when I rest
A storm I am
Cursed am I
With a double vortex of pain
That rips at my muscles
And makes them twitch
When I want them to relax
There is lightening inside of me
That longs to be kissed into a deeper slumber
Just once, so that I can rest in bliss at your side
Will you do that for me, just once?
Or throw me away before the first dawn, as is my fate
My tormented soul
Wants the electrocutioner’s pulse
To leave me alone
And let my limbs recline
For just one night
But instead I must sleep awake
So I do not unleash
Another crushing wave
Against your brain
As my twitching arms attack you despite my love
For while a storm may intrigue you to watch
You will not ride long in the funnel of this tornado
I will become your toy
And discarded after a few shocks of my constant sparking
Have burned your precious fingertips into charcoal
My place will become as your sworn servant
When you require another grinding
And remember the reason your millstones have worn thin
Desiring another load
To render into stardust
And while I just wish to rest my weary head
Upon your swollen breasts of honey
While you sleep against me in pleasure’s afterglow
The storm that never sleeps will jar you awake
And your pointed finger will show me out the dog’s door
Creep that I am
Requires his mask to be kissed away, but it will not yield
No one can endure
A lasting embrace
Because I will bump your arms away in the night
You should be warned
As upon notice be you now informed
My tic ticking heart
Will demand its daily toll
Sending me to sleep alone
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2011
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Patrick Parks Poem
Chocolate goddess of my dreams
I await the soft kiss of bliss that is you
if ever you should come to meet me
beyond my imagination's musing
how I would melt into loving
chocolate that swirls around
you like soft summer slowly
caressing you in waves more
tender than butterfly's feet
kissing the tender lining of
your heart as you rattle
my tranquility in quivers
causing it to settle more
deeply allowing my eyes
to touch my soul each
time I have the pleasure
of seeing you standing next
to me where you've never been
except only in my exquisite dreams.
The grace
of your beauty
illuminates the path
that I could not well see
before your heart appeared
standing motionless in the doorway
of time that stood still in honor of your being
and began again only so mortals could see you
showering loving inspiration into their world
where you bless them as you walk
upon the ground they worship
never realizing their own hearts
are just the same as yours
if only they could realize
we are all one
and you are
but a slice
of heaven
on earth
as are
they
too
be
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2012
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Patrick Parks Poem
He wonders in silence aloud screaming
speaking to his own reflection unseen
memorized moments unfolding backward
like a rubber band unwinding
in its given way and own time
as fear brings clouds nearer
yet denial looms larger than life
a victim of someone else
escaped culpability captures him again
overtaken suddenly in shock
he looks dismayed at his own handiwork
so he calls a tempest forward
drawing on his smallest self
intentionally blinded by accident
using his own staff
stabbing his heart in pain
rather than holding onto firm ground
some angst jumps across his chest
rejected by God's unsent mercy
disallowed by his own sheer will
an unforgiving menace to himself
suffocated by his own hands
that reach from behind him like a serpent
as if someone else was his poison
stepping backward as fast as he gains
like a turtle in his shell he shies away
alone this night a meal digesting hastily
recapitulating the day ahead
even before it has begun
this kind of present haunts him today
as yesterday's unlearned lessons creep
into another day and life
swirling as if in a vortex
he refuses to breach the circle
that grips him tightly as if
in his own prison of chalk lines
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2012
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Patrick Parks Poem
A Prayer for Michael (the one who sent me here)
I said a prayer and called your name
It was a prayer for you
You are my friend
I called your name with tears
My eyes are rivers in your grace
I cannot see the bottom of this pit
Upon whose rim you stand
But I release you from the wretched place
I break your spell and kill your witch with my golden cold spike of love
I have no tools
My ways are simple
But I throw them over to you with every inch of strength you have given me
I only have a small closed heart that’s broken
But it wishes to be strong and large
Like you can be too
Like you were as a child of light
Like you are still, but only blinded and stunned
You are like a brother and father and guide to me
In one stroke of kindness you gave me hope
My broken heart holds magic
It knows your pain
And in its lock a golden broken key of love you turned
You made me stronger
And like a starfish
Now I have a thousand keys forming to give away
I offer one to you my new friend
My love is yours to use and keep
Hold it in your heart
Be warm
I pledge my friendship
In the times your heart is cold and lonely
Drink to me the cup you throw away
Remember I will keep you warm inside of me
Your memory will not fade, I know your name
Take strength in knowing those you heal
Demand of you as well that you should rise again
Rise and take your place
Stand in recognition of what you must be and are even now
Walk forward again in the light of your own making
Have half the hope you have given
Rekindle it
You have no shame
And no wrong did you make
It was right to love so freely
With such pure honesty and trust and lust
No matter that anyone should hurt you
This was only a test and strengthening
Use the hurt to remember your mission
Let its fading embers grow warm again and not fester
Fuel that fire with the wind of your desire to heal
And love again without restraint
As you know you always will and must
I release you from the spell
No fear is yours to bear
Stand up and walk out of those old shoes
In health, without fear, I set you free
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2011
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Patrick Parks Poem
How I might taste you
in each curve of your being
entwined below each fastening
that I breath apart with my patience
cherishing you longer than any could last
I find some deep meaning in your kiss
and there I know tranquility that gives
your new light to a forgotten day
beholding you naked in form
I gasp at my reaction deep
as you unfurl your beauty
and lay yourself open
With eyes of disbelief
finally at last alone in darkness
that is warmed by a glowing
that touches candles into flame
and quenches raging fires
that have burned a thousand years
to know the taste of your sweet kiss
and suckle the wisdom that flows
from every pore of your being
into every crevasse of my heart
that is open to love you
Fly in to this circle my angel
and see this place to lay your head
in this honey field of golden laughter
that I've prepared for your blessing
where I have labored long to make
myself a better man so that you
can finally fly free and be you
the you I long to see dancing
across the body of a rainbow
into the sunset upon ocean
where God has called you
to be his Goddess sweet
Come into bloom with your soul open
to be touched with every sweetness
and told a thousand evenings
you are the one I have known
would someday bless my shores
without crashing upon my beach
but only walk upon water
that kisses your feet
and says your name
that I love to hear
Be my sweet lover some night
for as long as you care to stay
in my open arms and hands
that long to wash your cares
and kiss each one of them away
making a pillow of hearts
perfectly suited to you
because I have watched you
and know the way you move
and how you love to lay
Then let me just gaze
at your loving image
as you sleep in silken covers
ruffled by a gentle breeze
blowing across your fine form
as I protect you from hiding
any longer in a dark cage
because I have freed you
to be yourself in full
by freeing myself
and loving you
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2012
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Patrick Parks Poem
The sun shines in like honey
across a sugarplum lane
laden with icicles dripping slow
or freezing fast suspended un-dripped
where the water flows not
or does at the whim
of the sun, wind, and clouds
these days cannot last
but indeed it seems they do
yet the cold lays out a path
in which spring will soon walk
making happy the moments
born of sweet desire to be warm
in ways that only winter's child can know
so we find in that momentary sorry
the seed of tomorrow's joy
and as our toes freeze tonight
we take pleasure in knowing
some warmer pasture will bloom
when we can appreciate our life
that is how it feels to be
in the grip of love or loss
and in that grip we know
the pendulum will swing again
and that alone gives us some cadence
to appreciate the moment for itself
full and graced in every way
if only we can look through
beyond the mirror of our constraint
and see the pretty day rising
as it always does
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2012
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Patrick Parks Poem
As we weave our dance today
some time slips into being
what is before us
in this glorious dance I love so
as tears fill my eyes with your joy
and recognition
focused in perfection before me
where I can breath them into life
life that we share as one
separate but never far apart
in a life that I love like water
drinking your skin with my eyes
as you sail through canyons of uncertainty
as if tomorrow could die
and you'd be happy
just as you are today
knowing your heart
is not some moment's creation
but eternally woven into being
by the very footsteps you are taking now
and have take since before you knew
you walk alone together with me
as if we recognized some purpose
dreaming we may touch in order that we do
knowing the day will come
when this beauty will abound larger
long enough to light a fire
in the heart of a new traveler
who lay sleeping silent there
in the distant corner of your imagination
until our love gives life again
in a relay race without winner
and our kiss seals their fate
to become their own keeper
and continue our flame
as if they held us
as they do
just as surely
as we hold them
unbound
certain
and true
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2012
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Patrick Parks Poem
Wondering upon our almost forgotten smiles
and twinkling eyes hidden,
we have spun this world
in smoke and mirrors,
reflecting light in curving waves.
We have wandering
into the misty fog
as it marched
out of clear air
on a perfect night
to become rooted
in the moss upon which we dream,
seizing that ethereal ground like honey
under winter's veil.
Perhaps it explains why
that which spins in you
is foreign to me,
sometimes,
and yet somehow
a thread of it loops around my heart
and tugs,
as familiar as kin,
or friends too long apart.
And I realize how deeply
you reflect the same light
that I've known uncounted
for a thousand years
times a thousand more.
I feel the stretch of this flaxen fulfillment
and hear its golden tone humming
as it lengthens.
Sometimes too loose to vibrate
the membranes
of our soup-can telephones.
So that even though we both speak
in muted carefully hesitant tones,
our words slip away into space
and only the stars know the songs we sing.
Bellowed out like whales in an empty sea,
only by chance refracted into a hearing ear,
that begins to understand
and then lapses into slumber again.
Even as magnificently we harmonize
beyond the dark face of the hidden moon at midnight,
we hear not each others callings,
and even less often see them dancing.
Except perhaps
in the limelight of our hearts sweet glow
where I know we live.
So it is odd to feel
this familiar twist
of an old theme
of distant overtures not really knowing
what note should follow
the one that follows
the one that is yet unwritten.
It just floats there unresolved,
sometimes aching for nothing at all,
other than the illusion of being.
Yet sometimes aching for the grace
to say softly, the love that floats here
in my heart for you,
without trying to enchant an echo.
Just to freely blow that kiss
into free space knowing
that is enough to be received
by the one that is.
And given by that one too,
to itself.
And so I reflect upon that flow
I have named you,
and wish it good journey,
knowing we are both leaf and river.
Masters of the helm
we sometimes do not steer
and only at the mercy
of the sea we will not tame.
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2014
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Patrick Parks Poem
What an exquisite treasure you are
rocking my day to sleep
leading it joyfully into night
kissing my ears with tender words
that stir my soul to ask
how could a moment like this
have taken my lifetime to arrive
as I relax my grip and breath
knowing tomorrow will come
if it will
and that you will be standing
within my reach if you choose
to touch a heart that is missing
from your own chest
as your heart has taken a home
inside of me
and we dance through that
magically in each others spell
not really held but free
except by the desire to touch
another cut from the same cloth
but only embroidered
with different names
that proclaim one truth
that wisdom should be held nobly
and nobility should be wisely held
so my hope still dances
to touch your hair with my face
and feel the caress of your lips
curiously exploring my neck
naked in our words
telling each other's truth
through eyes that cannot lie
except together as one
Copyright © Patrick Parks | Year Posted 2012
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