|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
I can't believe how long it's been.
The time goes by so fast.
The pain, I try to keep within;
Those memories of the past.
I've tried so hard to understand
Your motives of that day.
You made a choice to leave us and
Just went along your way.
I didn't know how bad it was
I didn't know your pain.
You never shared your thoughts because
You hated to complain.
When I was young, I worshiped you;
My hero; proud and strong;
Someone to tell my problems to
And teach me right from wrong.
I wanted to be Daddy's Girl.
I tried so hard to please.
And there was nothing in the world
To make that longing ease.
“I Love You” never crossed your lips;
I never heard that sound.
I guess it wasn't in your script;
Those feelings, too profound.
No “Honey”, “Darlin’”, “Sweetie Pie”
Was ever said by you,
Right up until the day you died,
I never had a clue.
Your work was always number one;
I never measured up.
My best, when all was said and done,
Was never good enough.
In later years as you grew old,
You needed me much more,
My hero, who was once so bold;
Now hid behind a door.
Your sight grew dim, your strength gave out,
Your mind was not the same.
Your eyes were filled with fear and doubt,
And yes, a touch of shame.
I saw that you were growing weak.
At times, I saw you cry.
I tried, but was afraid to speak,
I never will know why.
The choice you made that fateful day
Is one I’ll never make.
Although at times I’ve lost my way
There is too much at stake.
How could you leave us all alone
To deal with what came then?
To tell my Mother you were gone,
Oh, where would I begin?
You took the choice out of God’s hands.
I guess you couldn’t wait
Until we all could understand
The meaning of our fate.
You had to know it would be me
Who found you, yes…it’s true.
Did you not care that it would be
How I remembered you?
You pulled the trigger on that gun
And ended all your pain.
Not caring mine had just begun
And always would remain.
I wonder if you’re happy now.
I pray that you’ve found peace.
I hope that someday and somehow
My guilt will finally cease.
If only I had been aware
Of what you’d planned to do;
A word; a touch to say I cared…
Could I have gotten through?
I think of you each day and night
I love and miss you still
Your memory still shines its light
I guess it always will.
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
How do you know when it's time to let go?
Should you call it a day, with nothing to show?
The love that you felt is still burning within.
Its flame flickers brightly, not wanting to end.
When only one heart is feeling that glow
You know that in time the other will go...
For no matter how much or how deeply you care,
You can't force a heart to stay with you there.
There…in that place where a fairy tale dwells,
Where fairy godmothers still cast lovers' spells,
Once upon a time two hearts were as one
And the love deep inside shone as bright as the sun.
But as time passes by, it seems some things change,
What once seemed so beautiful now seems so strange!
One moment you look in his eyes and you see,
Happily ever after is not meant to be.
What is it that makes only one heart feel love?
You look for the answer from God up above.
You hope against hope that an answer you'll hear,
But no answer is coming, just sadness and fear.
A part of you already knows it's the end,
But your heart and your mind just don't comprehend
How something so wonderful just fades away,
Like the colors of sunset in each passing day.
The dawn of each day brought a smile to my face,
By waking each morn to my lover's embrace.
Our two hearts once hoped that true love had begun,
But what good is love that is just felt by one?
Would I want him to stay with me, though in the end
He'd never be happy, you can't just pretend
To love someone when the feeling's not there.
So the answer is NO; and you try to prepare
For what you now know is going to be…
Sooner or later you must set him free.
You try to hold on to the love that you knew
But it slips through your fingers, so what can you do?
They say there are some things just not meant to be,
And in time we will know what our hearts couldn't see.
You beg, you plead, you curse, then… you cry.
But the only real answer is always GOODBYE.
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
There's someone who adores me and never fails to show,
Just how much I mean to them and always lets me know
How glad they are when I come home at the end of every day.
The love that shines there in those eyes means more than I can say.
A special love like ours you see, is a rarity to find,
Because I'm blessed to find it from someone so sweet and kind,
The others from my past were all the same and now they're gone.
I know this love won't leave me with the coming of the dawn.
Those eyes are so expressive; I look in them and see
A world of love I've never felt except at Momma's knee.
My heart just melts and then I have to pinch myself to prove
That I am not just dreaming, and it's safe to make my move.
I slowly turn to look, and what I see is just a blur…
Four tiny feet come flying…as if to say, "IT'S HER!!
My Mommy's home; and I'm so glad to see her at our door!!
And now I know that I will not be lonely anymore!"
With whimpers of joy, a wiggling body and a wagging tail...
My face is licked again and again, and always without fail,
The love that's shining in those eyes means more to me than ever.
I know that this is one true love that'll stay with me forever.
I may not have the fairy tale romance I've always dreamed of.
No candlelight, champagne or softly whispered words of love.
But, what I have is honest, true and totally unconditional.
Even though some may think a little nontraditional!
The love shown by my puppy is the purest love I know.
No prejudice or judgment will her loving heart bestow.
She doesn't care what color my skin or hair shall be.
She only knows I love her just as much as she loves me.
I'm glad that God has blessed me, by giving her to me.
To love and always care for; right by my side she'll be…
God's trusting me to care for her in this great world of His,
By reminding me forever what TRUE love really is.
For Ruffles, my 4 legged baby
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
Is it you I've been dreaming of all of my life?
Are you my hero on that stallion of white?
At night in my dreams is it your face I see
With only a glimpse of what is to be?
I've wanted to find you, it seems like forever.
I've searched and I've searched, but I thought I would never
Be able to find someone that I could love,
Who would know that forever was what I dreamed of.
From the time I was small I hoped I would find
A man who was honest, gentle and kind.
A man who would know that I was the one,
And would love me in spite of the wrongs I had done.
Are you the one that God made just for me?
The one who from childhood, I knew you would be...
Waiting somewhere for a chance to find out
If I was the one you'd been dreaming about?
Would I know it was you if you walked in the door?
You seem so familiar. Have we met before?
Though my eyes may not see what was sent from above,
I think that my heart would know you were my love.
I feel so complete when I think what could be,
If you are the one who was sent here for me;
My hero, my lover, my soul mate, my friend,
Who will walk right beside me and stay till the end.
The sound of your voice makes me tremble inside.
It makes it all worth all the tears I have cried.
While waiting to see if you ever would show,
You're here now, and I will never let go.
I'll hold you against me with all of my might,
And be sad for those times you are out of my sight.
For now that I've found you, my heart just can't see
How living without you ever could be!
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
How many days and weeks and years has it been since you went away?
The pain should be less, as well as the tears, but it seems as if it was today...
when I looked in your eyes for the very last time, kissed your cheek and whispered
Goodbye.
I'd have thought that by now, when those thoughts of you came I would not feel this
strong urge to cry.
The years, they are fickle...they come and they go, but your memory still stays in my
mind.
Its hard to believe you are no longer here, I keep searching, unable to find
A reason that God chose to call you so soon, though I know that your suffering was
much;
I'm selfish I know, for wanting you here, but I long once again for your touch.
God only knows why he dealt you the hand that you gracefully played til the end.
Your courage and strength touched the lives of us all and there's no need for me to
pretend;
For the love that we shared will live on evermore and I know you're still with me
somehow.
I can feel you around me in so many ways and your scent lingers on, even now.
I miss you Sweet Mother, each day of the year, but on this day it's harder it seems.
I see other daughters with Mothers so dear, and I wish I could tell you my dreams...
My hopes and my wishes don't mean near as much as they did when I shared them
with you.
The love in your eyes made me feel there was nothing on earth that I couldn't do.
I hope that in Heaven it's Mother's Day too, and you know just how much you have
meant,
To this daughter of yours who still grieves for your loss and the sweet time together
we spent.
A lady so kind and a spirit so sweet, for this world, you were too good, I know.
But this void that you left when you went home to God seems only to widen and
grow.
I think you're an Angel who's watching me now, and I'm hoping I still make you
proud.
I see you in Heaven, your body made whole, and you're dancing with Dad on a cloud.
I know I'm not perfect, but maybe somehow, I'm forgiven for things that I've done.
And this Mother's Day gift that I'm giving to you is the proof of the battle I've won.
I hope that someday we will meet in the sky and we'll all be a family again.
I can't wait to see you and tell you the things I have wanted to tell you, but then...
You already know what lies deep in my heart. I could never keep secrets, it's true.
You were there all along, as you always will be, til the day that I come home to you.
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
It was a cold December day, when your eyes first met mine.
You seemed somehow familiar, and I took that as a sign,
that meeting you was destined and that fate had brought us here
to help us learn a lesson which would someday become clear.
I should've known right from the start our love would never last.
But there was something in your eyes that made my heart beat fast.
I could not fight the feeling when we met that fateful day.
In retrospect, I think I should have turned and run away.
It’s not your fault that I could not resist your many charms.
I had no strength to pull away once I was in your arms.
We both had good intentions of remaining only friends.
But once that fire is lit, there's only one place that it ends.
Before we met I didn’t think I’d ever love again.
I’d almost given up on finding someone new, but then
You smiled at me and all at once my heart began to melt
And something deep inside remembered just how good it felt;
To look in someone’s eyes and see your own reflection there.
The hopes and dreams you thought long gone resurface as you stare.
So, should you dare to let yourself get caught up in this feeling?
Or, do you wonder if you need more time to finish healing?
We cannot have a future, and of that there is no doubt.
I long for something more, but now it seems I am without
The trust I need to give me faith in what we have together.
How would I know that you’d be there, when faced with stormy weather?
A fact of life is that I love you now…and always will.
But, love is not enough to fill a void that can’t be filled.
I don’t know what you’re looking for; I just know it’s not me.
You are the kind of man who needs to know he can be free.
I’d like to change what’s coming, but I can’t control our fate.
The love I have for you is real, but time for us won’t wait.
As time grows shorter, soon I know that we must say goodbye.
The choice is made and then you'll have to spread your wings and fly.
Someday when you look back, you'll know that you were truly loved,
And late at night, in bed alone I’ll pray to God above…
To keep you safe and free from harm; and hope you are content.
Please don’t forget about me or how much this love has meant.
It hurts so much to think that I will not see you again.
I hope you know that I will always want to be your friend.
Though time shall pass, the love I feel won't ever go away.
And in my heart, til my last breath, your memory will stay.
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
I wonder what will happen now
That your decision has been made.
Your mind's made up; your plans thought out;
Your fate is sealed, all debts are paid.
Our time is past; the past is dead.
There is no resurrection here.
It's over now and we'll move on
to new adventures far and near.
We both have learned a lot it seems.
Those lessons, yes they caused us pain.
Someday I know my heart will heal
But until then won't love again.
It's broken and no use to me;
No glue or thread can mend it now.
The only hope is time will pass
As quickly as you broke your vow.
I trusted you, that trust is gone
Just like the wind, away it blew;
The day you said you'd changed your mind
And someone else awaited you.
I don't know why we both held on
so long. That should've never been.
I wanted you to realize
You loved me; not just as a friend.
I waited, hoping for so long
The error of your ways you'd see,
And some day maybe you'd wake up
And realize you still loved ME.
But you moved on at lightning speed;
Found someone else to love, but still
You never told me how you felt,
Or didn't feel, and never will.
And so I clung to hope in vain.
I should've seen the signs I know.
But the eyes of love don't want to see
The signs of someone letting go.
I know that I should wish you well,
And maybe that will be, someday.
But the pain of losing you to her
Will never cease nor go away.
I'm sorry, but I cannot stand
The thought of you with someone new.
Sometimes I think I'd rather know
That you were dead; no, that's not true!
For if you died, then I'd die too.
I couldn't let you go alone.
I'd go with you, stay by your side;
Protect you from the Great Unknown.
I'd walk through Hell to let you know
How much I think your love is worth.
But knowing that you love another
Makes my life here Hell on earth.
As close as we have always been
I know now I must let you go.
To live your life the way you choose;
Give up my dreams from long ago.
Someday I hope you will look back
With fondness at the memory.
Of our sweet love, brief as it was,
And know that it was meant to be.
Too late by then, to make a change,
For I will have moved on and yet,
Some part of me will yearn to know
If one day you will have regret?
Regret for breaking someone's heart
Whose love was once so strong and true.
Faint memories of smiles and tears
From long ago: still missing you.
I myself, have no regrets.
I did my best; I will stand tall,
Tis better to have lost your love,
Than never known your love at all.
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
Two people meet. Is it by chance?
Can love begin with just one glance?
How do we know if it is real?
Have we imagined what we feel?
These questions burn within my mind.
I wonder if I'll ever find
The kind of love we all dream of,
And hope it's sent from God above.
Sometimes I think I'll never know
Just what it is that makes love grow.
If nourishment is what it needs,
How can I fertilize the seeds?
Hope and Faith are ways to start;
Since both are deep within the heart.
A small amount of each will be
Enough to set our feelings free.
We tend our crops with trust and yet,
Sometimes our needs are just not met.
For trust is such a fragile thing;
Once gone, we're still remembering...
Just how it felt when love was new;
When doubt was never inside you.
Your heart believed that all was well,
But that was just a fairy tale.
Your heart is scarred in ways unknown,
Until a new love's face you're shown.
And then it's there for all to see;
The hurt from that old memory.
Try as you might, you just can't rest,
Until you know he's passed the test.
Can he be trusted with your heart?
Will he too, tear your world apart?
The only way that we will know
Is if we let old feelings go.
That fear we have down deep inside
Is no more than our wounded pride.
So when you love, don't be afraid...
Each one of us has been betrayed.
We must believe true love is real;
Allow our painful past to heal.
For nothing ventured, nothing gained,
It's not like love can be explained.
We have to take a chance you see;
In LOVE, there is no guarantee.
A love unspoken can't be felt,
No matter how the cards are dealt.
Too many times we let love pass,
To focus more on greener grass.
But, just in case you are the one
And love for us has just begun,
Don't be afraid to show you care,
Or someday you may feel despair.
A broken heart will heal in time.
A risk not taken is no crime.
But, if we are AFRAID to live ...
How can we GET what we can't GIVE?
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
You know it’s still you, after all of this time.
I can’t love another; I’ve tried.
The pain you inflicted was never a crime,
But it sure felt as though I had died.
This love that I feel is a part of me now,
And I guess it will always be there.
My broken heart always forgives you somehow,
But sometimes it’s just too much to bear.
For so many years I have waited to see
Just how our love story will end.
Will we ever be lovers again, you and me?
Are we better off simply as friends?
I know in my heart we were destined to be,
I think that you know this is true.
The pain of the past is still living in me
And the fear of the future is, too.
I see in your eyes what you’re feeling inside
Yet you can’t say what I want to hear.
I wish I could see in your heart where you hide
The emotions you seem most to fear.
Somewhere there’s a key hidden safely away
In a room or a locker or vault.
Maybe lost or forgotten, it’s so hard to say
But, it’s really not anyone’s fault.
If things could be different and time could stand still
I’d stop it before there was pain
The past wasn’t here yet; no future to kill..
And only our love would remain.
The timing is wrong, as it always has been
No matter how hard I have tried;
The odds are against us, I can’t seem to win
In spite of the tears that I’ve cried.
The paths of our lives are each drawn in advance,
By the greatest mapmaker of all.
Only God has the power to give us a chance
To see if we climb or we fall.
I’m falling much more than I’m climbing, it seems.
God didn’t save much grace for me.
I’m stumbling along on a trail made of dreams
In search of some great destiny.
Coming to terms with my feelings for you
Is something that’s taken it's toll.
But I have to move on and remember it’s true:
Forgiveness is good for the soul.
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
Details |
Cathy Martin Poem
Sometimes I sit here all alone and wonder what to do.
I should be out somewhere instead of thinking about you.
The choices that I make in life, I'll never understand;.
It seems to me, my hopes and wishes never go as planned.
I never planned to fall in love again, but here I go...
Dreaming foolish dreams of you and me, and yet I know
The end result will only be a heartache and goodbye,
And someday soon I know that I will be the one to cry.
You had a life, before you ever landed in this place.
A stranger passing through here on your way to outer space.
Somehow the fates convinced you this is where you need to be;
A stepping stone to help you on your way to meeting me.
Although I know your visit here is only temporary,
The thought of never seeing you again is just so scary!
I understand the reasons why you say you cannot stay,
But I am hoping desperately that you will find a way.
You've been here long enough to make me fall in love with you.
Your gentle touch, your winning smile, the fun things that we do.
I'll bet you leave a string of broken hearts from town to town.
Like me, they all had hopes that you would finally settle down.
We talked about all this before the feelings got so strong.
You told me that you couldnt stay around for very long.
For you had obligations in another time and place,
And fate had other plans for you my love could not erase.
I started my relationship with you with open eyes.
Hoping against hope that my decision would be wise.
I thought at first that it would be so simple to be friends,
And told myself that I would not be grieving when it ends.
Spending time with you has been a blessing and a curse.
Loving you and knowing you can't stay; which one is worse?
The void that you will leave in my life when you walk away
Can never be filled up again; so why do I delay?
I want to make this time with you as special as I can.
Someday you might look back and think, "I was a lucky man".
I hope you will remember and know how much you were loved.
Each night in sleep, your face will be what I'll be dreaming of.
I'm sure the day is coming and I fear that it is soon;
You'll take off once again, on your journey past the moon.
The stars will shine much brighter and the Milky Way will glow.
They'll radiate with love I'm sending with you when you go.
So when your journey's over and at last you make it home,
If you should ever someday feel that urge again to roam,
Just look up at the sky and you will surely see a sign,
And know there is a place for you within this heart of mine.
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
|
|