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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
Another broken heart
another shattered dream
another helpless cry
another undeard scream
another cut to my arm
another puddle of blood
another day of self harm
another wound to flood
it kills me inside
all the feelings that i hide
i just keep them to me
so that no one else can see
see the reason for my pain
nothing will ever be the same
im tired of constantly trying
when i no deep inside im dying.
-Spencer Coggsdale dedicated to Sergio Sosa
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
You left i cried
im lost inside
this pain i gain
tears fall like rain
it hurts it cuts
i miss you so much
three years have passed
im suffering atlast
realizing my pain out of no where it just hit me
wishing everyday that you'll come back to earth to get me
but your never comming back
and they'll never see me smile
due to all the love i lack
i wont be happy for awhile.
-Spencer Coggsdale dedicated to Roxanne Lynnette
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
My love got rejected
my heart was missdirected
this pain he caused still hurts me strong
with no strenth left to just move on
he hurt me bad
it cut me deep
awake at night unable to sleep
overlooking the truth
im in denial
i wont be happy for awhile
how could he do this
what have i done
to deserve all this pain thats recently begun
the day i forgive him and move on without a dout
is when hes sorry for what he did
and not sorry that i found out.
-Spencer Coggsdale dedicated to Brandon Castillo
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
Locked Inside
the real person is affraid
to face all the lies
and scars that i have made
lost and betraid i walk alone
my muted thoughts become unknown
i hear a voice the piercing words which linger in my head
my heart is beating but there is no pulse and i feel like im already dead
with a razor i connect the stars
which leaves the patterns of my scars
and the pain in my heart
kills the desire
to love as i watch myself burn in the fire
my heart starts to ake
as i lye there awake
and the memoreies replay
as i slowly decay
the fire burned out and left nothing but coal
as they cast the power of death on my soul..
-Spencer Coggsdale
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
Your smile like razors
your kiss like knives
im drowning in your love
as i struggle to stay alive
i promised not to slice
and i still continue to do my part
but the cutts arnt on my arm
the cutts are on my heart
i didnt put them there
my hearts painted black from
the darkness that it drains
it overlaps my loving heart
as your love becomes my pain
as i bleed the pain in blood
my heart begins to flood
its all gone with the sin
it leaked out through the scars
that are reopened once again.
-Spencer Coggsdale dedicated to Luis Arizpe
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
Sick of crying
tired of trying
ya im smiling
but inside im dying
trapped in a world thats impossible to excape
im dying more everyday
with ever breath i take
you think that if i smile im happy
but thats not even true
im only pretending and living a lie
just to satisfy you
i just dont understand how you
could cause me this pain and still have no clue
because in my eyes the only thing thats killing me is you
while im living a lie that revolvs around you
im accomplishing your dreams that never came true
all these years ive had to hide
mabe thats why im so dead inside
so when you see me hanging dead on a rope
youll run out of thoughts like i ran out of hope
-Spencer Coggsdale dedidcated to my parents
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
Hes so perfict but he will never be mine
im used to being rejected so i guess that everthings
fine it takes a good person to get my attention like this
to brighten up a darkened heart and fill it up with bliss
i just melt in his eyes and start acting all shy he smiled
so cute that i thought my heart could fly
but why do i still give in when i already know that theres
no hope remembering that makes me want to dangle on a rope
why not he wont care he'll still be happy even if im not there
so i guess that i will never be good enough so im going to go ahead
and stop wrighting this stuff cause im just waisting my time with
every word i just said i wonder if he will want me once he finds out
that im dead
-Spencer Coggsdale dedicated to Ivan Olveria
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
So many broken hearts
so many words left unsaid
lead to the black tears we cry
and every cut that once bled
bawled up in a corner
stranded in the dark
with every stroke up and down i leave a bleeding mark
abanded hope left to die
were drowning in these tears i cry
and the razor in our hands
reflects the brightness of the stars
but its not just a cut
theres a story behing the scars
if the world was a rose
wed be the thorns
life would be a book
and every page would be torn
its just another broken home
a place where no one can survive
which leads ne into cutting myself just to feel alive
i have already given up
why should i have to live a lie
but instead of suffering i just crawl into a corner
to curl up and die
-Spencer Coggsdale
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
You promised to respect me
and never decieve
you told me that you loved me
and i let myself believe
you invited me to the party
and at first i told you no
but then you said common
and insisted that i go
not thinking much about it
my second thoughts grew
but they were quickly lost
when i walked in after you
i knew something was wrong
when i kept falling on the floor
i wasnt really thirsty
but said to drink some more
and so i did
slowly handing you my fate
with absolutly no idea
that i would soon get raped
running into walls
as you led me up the stairs
the door up there had opeded
as people came out in pairs
i fell over laughing
everything started to spin
i continued to crawl
but i had i bad feeling within
as soon as i reached the top
you pushed me in the room
letting myself fall
as i slowly approached my doom
you threw me on the bed
with such force i never knew
i tried to scream for help
but it was just us two
i was just so scared
and there was no one else around
as you put your hand on my mouth
and said dont you make a sound
trying to push you off
wondering why you did me wrong
but every attempted failed
you were just too strong
i was squirming around and screaming for help
but it was already too late
with my useless crys and helpless sighs
i was getting raped
-Spencer Coggsdale dedicated to Jose Galvan
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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Spencer Coggsdale Poem
Alone with my tears
i suffer in pain
reliving my fears
as blood starts to drain
growing use to the feeling
of being alone
my heart is never healing
and its turned into stone
just kill me now
and take me away
i dont care how
i cant bare to stay
it will hurt me more to stay here and try
trust me when i say that i live to die
-Spencer Coggsdale
Copyright © Spencer Coggsdale | Year Posted 2011
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