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Best Poems Written by Sidney Hall Mad Poet

Below are the all-time best Sidney Hall Mad Poet poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

The Christian I Am Not

I have been a Christian  for many years,
Hiding behind the mad poet has drenched me with tears
For I am a sinner the chief of them all
Writing poetry that has made me feel appalled

I have coveted, lied, hated and stole
Indulged in adultery with an innocent sole
I have broken my family, and now live in separate homes
While writing perversions of my conquests in poems 

The thing that worries me, is that I feel nothing at all
This is what scares Sidney. C  Hall
I see the ten commandments almost all broken
Save for killing  no words of remorse that are spoken

Am I destined to a life burning  in hell?
As part of the masses with speeches that make heads swell
Denying God and not seeking his Grace
Awaiting the day to say “I have no excuse,” to his face

Or believing a lie that there is no forgiveness
And just going along my ungodly business
Ladies and Gentleman my soul is in turmoil
Sin runs through my veins causing my blood to boil

I say to myself Sid you need to change,
Then the next minute something take me out of range
But I feel nothing, so how can this scare me
If I feel nothing , why is fear in hell, I see

Could this be God preparing my final years
I hope and pray soaked in tears

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

If I Ruled the World

If I ruled the world,
I'd round up all the men.
Send them to Afghanistan,
...And nuke the place again,
and again.

I'd collect and burn,
All the world's monies
And make sex slaves,
Of all the honeys

I would kill all the ugly ones
Well save one or two
So when I'm drunk I'll say
'Shit you look good to scr3w'

I suppose you wanted everyone,
To live in peace on the earth?
But believe me, if I ruled
That would be all a myth

But I'm sure after fifty years
Of all that sex slaving
Everyone will be related
And there would be no misbehaving

Because I will make sure 
Brother does not kill brother
And to women, the children
Will call all of them mother

To me, you guessed it
They will call me father

So I don't need riches or power
Or greed, just lust
I don't need gold or diamonds 
Only women with a 42DD bust.......

**Requested by my Cousin Michelle**

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

Rude Hood

Once there was a girl, little hood,

She was a fine mamma, looking good.

Hood decided to take a walk

Didn’t see the wolf watching her like a hawk.

 

Mesmerised by her swinging ass

He trailed behind watching her sway with class

He said “I gotta have a piece of hood,”

“That ass is juicy and good for food.”

 

Suddenly he stopped with a frightful stare

Across from her was mamma, papa and baby bear.

The notorious trio who did goldilocks 

Just  down the road about three blocks

 

Wolf said “I’m not gonna stand for this.”

The Wolf now was getting pissed.

He draws his ooze and colt 44

Rat a tat tat  mama , papa and baby no more.

 

Smoke clears and he sees hoods’ on the floor

“F--k!” he screams “I killed my wh-re.”

 She stirs and looks at him with a smile,

Hood says “Bad boy tonight you get to do d--gystyle.”

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

P.D. Bye

There’s a peach of a girl named P.D.
Who is a friend of both you and me
She’s gone away
I already miss her today
Her kind words and Queen Slam poetry



*If you find another sad limerick let me know*

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

She Means the World To Me

I gotta crooked legged woman
With legs that go where they choose
Her lips are shaped like a beer mug
And over flowin with booze 

She means the world to me
And a freak that makes me money 

Her face is like a chocolate chip cookie
Covered in spots dots and all of that
I don't need a road map to find my way around
Just look at her face and I know where I'm at  

She means the world to me
And a freak that makes me money 

She gotta hunch back
From her boobs that sag
They look like two egg yolks 
On two kwik mart bags 

But She means the world to me
And a freak that makes me money

**Singing the Blues**

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

Good Night

“It is pointless me using this,” he said
As he held it laying in bed
He tried it again 
Which made him feel great pain
So he slept with his night cap off of his head

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

Hot Jalapenos

Eating jalapenos, boy did I sing
Mouth was on fire so was my ring
Burnt going in one way 
And out the in the same day
Which end do I cool first in the gushing water spring

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

My Diary Day 1

I was meeting me girlfriend , sexy Cherry Russ
When I saw her hands go up to her mouth and she did cuss
There was this whooshing sound 
And before I looked round
I was hit by the wing-mirror of a bus


With a broken jaw, to get to hospital was a mission
That wasn’t the end of me plight of painful petitions
Instead of wiring up me jaw
Something worse I implore
They mistook me for a patient that needed circumcision


 Through wired teeth, I said I‘d sue for loads a cash
As I ate through a straw blended veg and meat and mash
Suddenly I had the urge to sing
As the wires came free, I screamed
Caused by the nurse accidentally knocking on the laughing gas


They going to kill me I thought in agonising pain 
So I tried to escape by jumped through the window which is insane
They didn’t tell me I was two stories high
I must tell you humans don’t fly
Now I got a walk identical to John Wayne

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

Love Poem With a Very Very Naughty Ending

Yes you caused it the creases on my face
I may look like an old book without the last page
But they say I have aged with … somewhat grace
Which, they said laughing, complements my age

It used to be considered as a sexy smile
But I have not used it for a while 
Well only when I have a pile 
But you cannot count that as a smile

You are as fresh as a polo mint 
I hope you can interpret my little hint
It’s been a while since someone made me feel the way
And I thought I’d let you know before the end of the day

Ignore my rhymes 
As I use different kinds
As long as you know the way I feel
Naked as an orange without it’s peel

Naked because I am shy
That is the reason, if you wondering why
So from the heart this is from me
Thank you me good friend P.D

Details | Sidney Hall Mad Poet Poem

Walk Softly

I love the way you walk in your stilettos
The clickety click sound of your heels 
The seductive sway of your hips 
And the luring gaze that appeals

But when you walk softy
That is what I love the best
As your stilettos cover new territories 
Across my bony chest

Oh the view my Soupies the view
Of man’s weakness I do stare
But never trust a woman in stilettos
As your bit lay unattended and bare.

Uhhhhhhhh!


 I am the Mad Poet. For Debbie Guzzi.  (I never enter contests to win.)