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Best Poems Written by Martyn King

Below are the all-time best Martyn King poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Martyn King Poem

Real me Part one

Four walls are enticing 
Can't get out of my own head 
Who is that figure in the mirror? 
The face that haunts me 
Nimble and limp - I feel misplaced 
Envious and boiled and ready to put on simmer 
Want to circle up in a ball and just tear my hair out 
Can't get over these thoughts - driving me wild 
The way I look at them as they walk on by 
Don't know how lucky you've got it 
I'm fighting myself 
Can't show this you see?! 
Not allowed to 
Just hold back these waters and shore up your defences 
I am too dependent on people and don't want to tear connections apart 
I feel so alone and so stranded and feel like I am the only person who feels like this 
Need my own space 
I need to just procrastinate constantly to escape it 
Can't you see me and the person who lies beyond it 
Can't you see my tears run constantly down my face 
And the way I zip from joke to joke trying to make you laugh 
In order to feel human, feel valid, to feel accepted by you 
It is all a performance you see 
It isn't the person I want to be 
I have to live within these means 
People don't want to see it 
See the real me 
Even I hate it 
Self loathing and low self esteem 
Have formed from this 
I hate my body and I hate my sex 
I hate these expectations and the way people see me 
I am not a man you see 
I am more than that 
I am beyond that 
I am trans you see 
But you can't see 
Some do and some don't 
Some will vilify and make you not feel wanted and make you just want to give it all in  
Even I wanted to give it all in 
Give up 
Cut myself 
Hurt myself badly 
Until I bled out 
Because this body isn't mine 
I hate it 
Just want to be like them 
Like that woman I see on TV or who passes me by 
Can't I be a woman or am I woman 
I am allowed to be 
My dad wants me to be the man of the house 
I lived through his views and expectations and through my school's expectations - just "man up" and "not show my emotions" 
But I am emotional you see 
I am emotional 
But I hated myself for it 
People have used me 
Abused me 
Taken advantage of me 
Ignored me 
Mocked me 
Kicked me 
Beaten me 
Blamed me 
Turn their back on me 
Don't get it wrong 
I am no innocent flower 
I have hurt others and I have been a dick at the best of times to even the best of people 
But I just want to be me you see 
But some people can't see 
This government can't see 
The media can't see 
My family sometimes even now can't see 
And therefore I can't see 
As I am dependent you see

Details | Martyn King Poem

Real me Part two

And I just want to be a woman 
But I feel too trapped in these four walls 
I can't break it 
I can't make it 
These traumas from family, school and life have scarred me 
Have shaped me 
Can't let it you see 
Because of all the things I have been through 
I know there is good people out there 
And good people make me want to fight 
Make me want to believe that there is hope 
And when there are tears - there is hope 
When there is life - there is hope 
So I must keep going 
Even though I am setbacked 
Living with my parents and on universal credit 
Just got to get on with it 
And just be me 
And if people can't see me 
I will just have to style it 
And tell myself that 
I am beautiful 
I am loved 
And that I am valid 
Even if I transition or not 
I got to keep telling myself this and say to myself 
"I am a woman" 
Despite what people may say 
And what the media says 
And what the government tries to do in order to set back people like myself 
Because I am fighter you see 
There have been times in my life where I have been overwhelmed, anxious and depressed, stressed and in despair 
There have been times where I have been lazy because I gave up on life 
You see 
But I am still here 
You see 
And I will always be here 
Through the thick and thin 
Whether you like it or not 
I am a woman

Details | Martyn King Poem

For every black cloud

Black Cloud 
The sky frames this backdrop 
Footsteps - always moving - but never in the right direction 
Bang Bang 
What is that?! 
Stay Away! 
Can't you see?! 

Vroom Vroom 
The diesel engines cries and chuck, chuck and spat and spat on the footway nearby 
Pop Pop 
Children laughing and skipping - Imagination so vivid and so tangible. You could almost kiss it. 

Kick Kick 
Just let me in 
I am not angry anymore. I promise. 

Dump Dump 
Bin bags - oh the bin bags - how high they do rise 
Umbrella - It's raining - tears down your face 
Makeup is now ruined and it is spoiling the line of your brand new jacket

Details | Martyn King Poem

Something your not

I am not allowed to be it 
Not allowed to show it 
Can't be visible 
Can't be seen 
Be anyone 
Wash me 
Hide me 
Cover me up 
Pretend I am someone that I am not 
Pretend that I am some sorta of actor in a film 
Someone new 
Someone who can hold their own 
Why is it a crime? 
All I want is to be on time 
Like everyone else is 
Just to love 
And be loved 
I will be locked away 
Throw away that key 
They will mistreat you 
And hold you to ransom 
Batter you 
Kick you 
Until you have nothing left in your tank 
Learn to be ashamed of it 
Self - shame 
And self - harm
I can't help it 
I am it 
I love it
I can't change my mind 
I am like this 
This is it 
It is me 
Within my DNA 
Part of me 
Can't be me 
Is it a crime 
Locked up for a long time 
Never see that sunlight 
Sunrise 
Fresh air 
Feel that touch 
Feel those lips 
Touching mine

Details | Martyn King Poem

Burn bright for me

Think of anything 
Anything can be yours 
If you want it 
Really want it 
You can have it 
Keep it 

I will guide you 
Give you strength 
In the darkness hour 
The blackest night 
I will be here
For you 

I am here to hold your hand 
To cuddle you 
Embrace you 
Love you 

I love all your colours 
You are unique 
You sparkle bright 

You were born bright 
You are burning bright still 
You can be it 
You are it 
I love you 

I will be your fan when you have none 
I will cheer for you
I will praise you 
I will love you 

I do love you 
All that you are 
All that you were
And all that you will ever be 
I love you 
For all that you are 

I don't just love the appearance of you 
The image of you 
I love the character of you 
I love you for you 
I love you 

I do this all 
Because of my love for you 
'Cause I love you 
You know 
I will be here for you 
Remember that 
Always 
I love you

Details | Martyn King Poem

Mortal coil

Bedsit 
Sit beside your bed 
And wallow there please 
The world doesn't want to see you today 
Even you don't want to see you today 

Oh god why does everything hurt 
And why do I feel so crap 
I hate mornings 
If you love mornings 
In my books 
Sorry there is something wrong with you 

Look at me 
I look like some BTEC IKEA manifestation 
Conjured up by some hack writer no doubt 

The bells clang as my feet scrap across the carpet floor
Pick your feet up
You have to go to work soon 
No dilly dallying  

Wipe the mirror 
Brush my teeth
Comb my hair (well what is left of it anyways) 
Bite on some toast and kiss your nearest and dearest 
And head to work 

Work 
Work 
Work 
Of course it is work 
I have no pleasure in doing this or actually being here 
God I hate my life 
Would someone just please shot me now 
Customer after customer after customer 
Will this line ever stop 

Stock up and go home 
There is nothing here for you now 
Just go home and forget the day you had and watch some good old stories on the box 
And wash your mind away 

Cooking dinner 
Why is it always me 
Oh well better get started 
It is nearly half past three 

Lost track of time 
Lost track of my direction 
I am sitting down and getting older 
And my prospects aren't looking better 

I am just getting fatter and fatter 
And my time on this mortal coil is getting longer and longer 
Stretching out to the ether 

Losing all sense of meaning 
Deflection and rejection
Wash down your sorrows and head to bed 
To do this day all over again

Details | Martyn King Poem

Give me more

Wave that in my face 
It owns me 
It owns you 
It owns everyone 

I want it 
You want it 
Everyone wants it 

Clutch it 
Gaze at it 
Stuff it 
Hold it 

I want more 
You want more 
We want more 
More and more 
We just can't get enough of it 
Enough 

Always wanting 
Never giving 
Not ever 
Just take and take 
But never give 
Why give? 
When I can have 
When I possess 
More and more 
Of it 

It is all for me 
None of it is for you 
It is just mine 

I want you to get out of the picture 
This is all for me 
Only 
For 
Me 
Only 
Mine 
This is me 

Never wanted anything more than this 
Just this 
Wanting this 
Having this 
Never enough 
Just give me more 
More and more 
I could go on and on 
In this loop 
Just give me some 
I will die for it 
I will show you

Details | Martyn King Poem

Fragmented

Fragmented 
Worn out 

My veil has been stretched and torn at it seams 
My face tells a story 
Hardened by the damp and the cold 

Embittered and coarsened by the wind 
The heavy gusts blow me 
To and fro 
In a whirlwind 

Stranded and distant 

Solitary 
Solitude 
Solo 

My hands shiver in the cold 
The frostbite takes hold of me 

My clothes have become tatty and battered 
Dusted and covered in mud

My soul lives in a different realm 
Beyond myself 

My eyes and the soul concealed behind it 
Is a façade
It shows a person and a soul  

But it is merely an after-image 
A ghost 
A story 
And a front 

Sadly 
My soul has long since been dead.

Details | Martyn King Poem

New blank page

It all starts on this page 
A blank page 
Anything can happen 
And it is all up to you 

Now I know that can be quite daunting 
I won't sugar-coat it 
As this power lies within you 
And it rests on your shoulders 

But don't let it burden you 
Don't let it crush you 
Don't let it be the dictator

But you have to lead it 
Don't you see 

I know that you are hurting 
I wish I could help you
I wish I could fix you
To switch you back to the manual settings 

But it doesn't work like that 
If you want something done - you have to do it yourself 
For instance, you are the only person who will ever be able to fully fix yourself 

Do see you now 
These things have happened 
Now, I am not denying that and I am not saying you don't have the right to be sad 
But life doesn't work like that 

These things have happened 
And they have happened for a reason 
But your story doesn't have end here 
Only if choose to 
Only if you want to 

But every fresh page is a new blank page 
And anything can happen - the world is a stage 

Life doesn't work like that 
Life doesn't care about that 

Of course there have been stories and other pages before this one 
But life does happen 
Stories and events happen each and every working day 
And honestly, it is exhausting 

But each and every day is a fresh blank page 

So take it 
Take this page 
And hold it 
And hold it close 
Until it burdens your hands 
Until your eyes start to sting 
And your heart follows in its melody 

Because the world is a stage 
And each and every day is always that new blank page

Details | Martyn King Poem

Indescribable

I can only feel this cold sensation brush against my feet 
The warmth crispen my fingertips 
As you walk on by 

The aromas that I smell around this environment 
My sight 
Indescribable 

I feel enable 
Lesser 
Wasted 

A reject 
A project gone wrong 

What are you? 
What can you bring? 
What can I do? 

My hands clasp sharply around my cane 
Guiding me 
Through this treacle 

Do people laugh at me? 
Look at me? 

Point 
Examine
Judge 

I wouldn't blame if they did - I would do the same - If I was in their shoes 

I am parade of failure 
And nothing more 

Incomprehensible
It fathoms the mind 
Can't translate 

Look through me 
Can you see me 
I am even here 
Do I even exist to you 

I wonder