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Best Poems Written by Tuiyanti Mampihandon

Below are the all-time best Tuiyanti Mampihandon poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Taking Back An Existence

I take all this in
This moment here and now
Feeling despair.
I’ve died already,
Been beaten, tortured, and raped a thousand times over,
That will never go away,
I carry the hurt of my ancestors in my chest.
Hearing their stories be cast aside, mistaken, or not heard at all
Burns in my soul like a fire I can’t put out.

Within the walls of this humanity that blinds me
Will I ever begin to exist?
Colonization rears its many heads with a sword,
I died hundreds of years ago.
Held in chains called a percent
When will the killings stop?
If you ignore my history, ignore my struggle
It doesn’t make me any less real,
I am still thriving, alive.

Forget I’m here now
But remember to sexualize me, make me inferior,
Take away my existence.
Forget what you learned or what you think you know.
We celebrate a painful history,
With Jackson on the twenty dollar bill
And Columbus a national hero.

I can’t say I’m not angry
Because I’m pissed as hell
But I won’t be angry and give you that strength.
I was raised to have respect 
Though I never thought it could come to me.
I have to change where I’m coming from,
Heal this place of pain,
Be open to you whom I love 
And stand up, tall, respectful,
Respected.

-Tuiyanti Mampihandon

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An Overflowing River

The River's overflowing
These days it never stops
There's a flood in my backyard
And it's boiling to the top.
The tides are all muddied
Rocks at every turn
No shore in site,
Still I'm swimming for my life.
My raft sprang a leak a few miles ago
Now my legs have grown tired
And my arms can no longer row
It the rains would stop falling 
Maybe the waters would go down,
But for now I'm drowning in this pool
And the grasses have turned brown.
I never thought there could be a thing
As too much rain in these parts,
But not only have the plants been dying,
My pillowcases are all soaked through.
Rain Rain go away
And bring me then a summer wave.

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Chasing the Moon

I know this isn’t what I’m meant for
But in a way it’s everything I am.
Spending hours chasing the other side of the moon
That I can never seem to bring to the light-
But there is nothing wrong with the dark.

I wish I could be proud of my words
These phrases that seep bad memories
But I know they are not the me
That people wish to see. 

I know I’m nothing special
But I am all I’ve got
Living a life of emptiness
And holding a swollen gut.

Walking in circles so fast I can see my back
When will the merry-go-round stop? 
Because it’s no more merry
And never really was fun
And as in all fairs I start to feel sick
But it’s only pushing me to go on

I can’t feel my fingers and my face has gone numb
When will the madness stop?
Because I have lost myself in the masses
But never really knew who I was.
As in all searches, hope is bleak,
But I must move on.

I know I’m nothing great
But maybe, just maybe
If I was to know myself for true
I could have someone to love me
And know that it too was true.


-Tuiyanti Mampihandon

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Time For Me

I'm doing the very best I can
All I can really do
Is to just do me
Stand tall, stand proud.
Be at peace with me.

I needed to talk to you today.
I got fed up with the state of the world
And the way things won't change,
But change too quickly at the same time.
I closed my eyes and you were gone.

I tried to write a book
To tell the world what I have learned
But instead of cohesive stories
All that came out was incoherent prose
These poems that make no sense and weigh heavy on the heart

I worry way too much
The sky is falling
And chicken little's at the door.
But even chickens sleep.

When the calm has come,
I can find my peace.
Is this me loving myself?
The very best I can do
Is to just do me.

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Could You Listen To the Ocean?

Could you listen to the ocean
As it crashed upon your shore?
Even if she was angry,
And Bubbled over at high tide?
When you hear her rushing waves
Will you take them 
For what they are,
And cast them off into the night?
Or will you boil them down to the core,
And still think her a pleasant sound?
All the ocean wants is to be heard.
Can you keep all the secrets of the ocean?

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If It Were Meant To Be

All that happens is what’s meant to be
I hope to not forget.
Even when I’m sad,
Or even when I’m mad,
I’ll know it’ll work out in the end.

I don’t profess to be good at math,
But every day is a pattern,
Connected by love.
Yesterday I watched your back
As you left me for a while,
Maybe tomorrow I’ll see your face
And know it was meant to be.

Don’t waste time on regrets
They will get you nowhere
Maybe I’m just an optimist,
I might never see you again,
But still then I’ll know it’s for the best.

I can’t move time
Nor can I change people,
But time can move us
And time has changed us.
A change so profound we find ourselves
Right back where we started.

Is it okay for me to say I miss you?
Not you, but the idea of you.
Someone to care
With eyes that can take me through the stars.
But an idea is just a theory,
Falsifiable at that.
I miss the you I knew.

Don’t waste time living in memories
They will only let you down
Your mind remembers what it wants,
Remember occasionally, then move on.

I don’t wish my life was different
I’m blessed in many ways
I’ll just wish in one hand
And watch it fill up.

The floor keeps on moving
The music never ends
One day I know I’ll see you happy
That is what’s meant to be.

Whether you hear my story or not
That’s up to the path that’s ever winding
I’ll carry you in my heart, though
But it’s like how the circle carries motion,
It just has to, and never stops. 

-Tuiyanti Mampihandon

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These Words Are You

These words to which I am bound
Burn in my brain
And I must get them down.

Even when the shine is gone,
And rhetoric has lost its meaning
You may want to turn your head from this
I’m not promising it to be pretty.

Upon every breakthrough I have never held my pen
The melody might have been complete if I did
But my mind sometimes wanders
And the tune becomes flat.

I know these lines must make it through
The gray matter of my brain,
Somehow to find an exit
Or I will never rest.

These words are very much a part of me
Like the grass that sits on the breeze
I cannot deny them life right now
For fear they will make me weak.

Look at my face real close
And you’ll know I’m being true,
These words are also a part of you
I hear them in your teeth.

Our words are connected by a string
That brings you closer to me
So close your eyes and open your heart
I’m ready to pull you in.  


-Tuiyanti Mampihandon

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Who Will Listen?

When the lights go out
And the table rises up off the floor
Will anyone be there to see it?
Put your walls up
Guard your heart with your soul,
It is okay to be alone.

The room has never been so silent,
A thousand voices screaming
Years go by standing still.

I heard this song today 
It shook me to the core
But tomorrow I won’t remember its name.
I have a new revelation every day,
But what am I really living for?
I can see my life and myself for what they are,
How can I tell if my vision is blurred?

I believe in the power of words
A power to strike change in a nation
Let me be still now
And not swayed by every new thought.
What do I believe?
Where do I stand?
Who will listen?

I cry for the voices of my ancestors that weren’t heard
For the kids so young with eyes full of sorrow
For those scribbling words of sadness and anger,
Not knowing where to go.

I believe I can love
And find true peace and happiness.
I believe my words matter
Even if it’s only to me.
I believe I must listen to the words of people around me,
Words that do count.

I believe I can be there for you
Even by lifting my spirit your way.
I believe one day we will live in a place
Where the kids don’t have to be afraid.
But first, I believe in myself.
Not invisible,
But heard. 


-Tuiyanti Mampihandon

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Mourning

Tonight I'll mourn for the fate of the world.
How did we end up here?
Dreaming our lives away,
But never making them real.

I'll mourn for those all alone
Crying themselves to sleep
Not knowing if they'll make it,
Fretting their lives away.

I mourn for the hurt,
Physically, emotionally, mentally
Anyone bearing the weight of the world
Feeling their lives away.

But I also mourn for the numb,
Those longing to feel.
Blocking out everything in hopes of being happy
Scaring their lives away.

I mourn for the lose
The confused and wandering souls
Worrying about what tomorrow my hold
Driving their lives away.

And I still mourn for the mourning
Not being able to shake this sadness
Sleeping with one eye open
Dreaming your life away.