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Michell Reddy Poem
Blame myself, watching you walk away.
Tears run down quivering lips and stinging eyes.
It’s a feeling not unknown,
It’s a feeling which I know all too well.
You changed to fit in.
With the description that other people wrote for you.
You forget who you were meant to be.
A friend who was meant for me.
You insults hurt no more,
My heart ceases to ache.
I stop and look down.
Your mockery and betrayal
Will be
Our very last memory.
I wipe my tears
Sunlight now burns my eyes
A smile cracks my lips,
Realising I’m not the one to blame.
My friend one day the day will come,
The day you learn your mistake.
Now you look in the mirror
And as your reflection stares back
You drown in your tears
Just like I did.
But walk away. Don’t turn back…
Because I won’t be standing there
Waiting for you.
(Or for anyone else)
Copyright © Michell Reddy | Year Posted 2008
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Michell Reddy Poem
You crawl into my skin
Like a fly
Letting your maggots poison me with fury
You blame me
For every mistake that wasn’t mine
For every answer you got wrong
You’re my own blood
You’ve abused me in a million ways,
And you’ve tortured me a thousand times more
When I tried to tell the truth
So tear out my hair
Kill me
I was a mistake wasn’t I?
You call it love.
Perhaps you rectify it for the pain
I put your through when I was born.
Perhaps that’s how they brought you up
Perhaps I shouldn’t complain
You never believed me have you?
I knew you wouldn’t.
Your own daughter you tossed aside.
I am a girl after all.
What social standing do I have?
Lock me in a room.
Throw away the key.
Marry me to a stranger.
Your idea of honour and pride.
After all everyone thinks we’re a happy family.
Copyright © Michell Reddy | Year Posted 2008
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Michell Reddy Poem
Drowning in your own thoughts
You don’t give me room to breathe
I guess I love you
I’m just not sure.
My loneliness is killing me
I’m scared to die alone
You filter through my thoughts
My dreams, my hopes.
I don’t feel I know you anymore.
Your dependency is murder
My heartache is torture
Your rules bind me like chains to a wall
I feel like you’ve imprisoned me
In the darkness where I can’t cry.
I can’t break free.
Slowly I fall apart.
Bits of my identity fall away
I scream louder into the silence
Can you hear my desperate pleas?
Of course you can’t
You’re not trying.
In my own thoughts
You let me drown
In a way I’m happy
To drown in self inflicted pain.
You never understood me
And now you’re just too late.
Copyright © Michell Reddy | Year Posted 2008
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Michell Reddy Poem
Before I start this
I want you all to know
It was never your fault.
Mum and Dad.
I just want to say how sorry I am.
The grief I’m putting you through.
It’ll get better.
I love you both.
I wish we could have held each other.
I wish we could have cried together.
I wish I could have said thank you.
My sister.
My baby sister.
Everything will be ok.
I know you’re scared.
Don’t worry,
I’ll be there when ever you need me.
Don’t let them take you.
Always be true to yourself.
I love you.
My brother.
By the time you can read this.
The memory of me
Will only be in those photo albums
That no one looks at
In the cupboard.
But I always want you to know
I never meant it
When I yelled.
You’ll always be my little baby
The one I told everything.
Don’t worry.
I’ll forgive you
If you forget me.
But I’ll never forget you.
My best friends.
I know you won’t forgive me.
I know you didn’t see it coming.
No matter what happens.
You’re not alone.
You never have been.
I’ll always be here even if I am gone.
I don’t ever think I told you
That you’re my best friends.
I know I have no right to ask
But I need you to do something
Take care
Everything will turn out alright.
I know it will.
Remember
All those times we laughed.
Remember
There will always be something to laugh about.
I won’t say
I’m in a better place.
I will say
One day.
One day.
We’ll walk home again.
My love.
I hope this message gets to you.
Don’t blame anyone.
Don’t blame yourself.
If you have to blame anyone
Blame me.
Those times
We spent hiding our love
Don’t forget them.
I never told you how much I loved you.
How much I still love you.
I want you to know
It’s ok to cry.
I want you to hold me
That one last time
And press your lips on mine.
I’ll feel a tear wet my face.
And I’ll tell you its ok.
That there’s nothing to be afraid of.
One day,
Again.
We’ll find each other.
I’ll always be waiting for you
The drops of rain
Slowly running down my face
My trembling hands will always reach for you.
You’ll always be close.
I’ll always be yours.
For all of you
Who ask why I did it.
When I look in the mirror
And see a face that isn’t mine.
That isn’t me.
And once you feel this.
You’ll know why I did this.
You’ll know why
I couldn’t live.
At the end.
I’m sorry
I have nothing left to give.
Copyright © Michell Reddy | Year Posted 2008
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Michell Reddy Poem
These days have faded
Your nights are dead
Mush together
Inside her head
The act is so selfish
Her lips quiver in fear
She knows it’s over
She senses you’re there
She won’t blackmail you again
Her mental wounds you can’t mend.
Juliet however still reaches
For your hand.
She still loves you.
And wishes you’d understand
Why won’t you hold her anymore?
He screams still echo
As you slam the door.
She stands alone
It was your mistake too.
Yet you blame her.
Have you forgotten
That it was you?
You stole her innocence
You didn’t think twice
So why is it only
Her paying for the crime.
She kept your letters
She remembered those date’s
But you forget her
It’s her that you hate
She stands alone.
Skin pale
Knife in her hands
She gets on her knees
Ready to meet her fate.
You turn down the corridor
Run back to the door
Sweet Juliet
She’s lying dead on the floor.
Copyright © Michell Reddy | Year Posted 2008
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Michell Reddy Poem
She lies in bed
Too afraid to reach out
And touch the lamp
Too afraid to hope
She sinks into the darkness.
Fear can kill. For her it’s murder.
She closes her eyes and opens them quickly
Scared the night will take her
And she chants to herself
Her last rites
Eyes wide open
Endless thoughts, unspoken on her lips.
Nature upsets the night
And for her it’s a death rattle.
She pretends not to listen,
Yet feels it seep beneath the window
Poisoning her mind.
Her eyes are closed
Longer than they are open
She can smell the earth now
Her coffin collapsing
She wants to scream she’s still awake.
But the night has taken her
Silenced her screams
Buried her…
She breathes deep
Her last breaths
Before she sleeps.
Copyright © Michell Reddy | Year Posted 2008
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