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Best Poems Written by Kevin Dale

Below are the all-time best Kevin Dale poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Kevin Dale Poem

Thanks Postie

You bring the mail unfailingly
In sun and wind and rain
With cheery smile and bright “Hello"
And "Turned out nice again"

May I suggest a strategy
To brighten all our lives
Bring a million pounds from Ernie
Instead of twenty-fives!!

Details | Kevin Dale Poem

A Short Poem

My poems are growing longer
When reciting I run out of puff
My lungs, once much stronger
Struggle with long-winded stuff

So, I'm writing this short refrain
To curb my penchant to ramble
I'm trying my best to abstain
From including excess preamble

I'd like to say it's a breeze
But the truth is, it isn't at all
Some writers do it with ease
I go large rather than small

So in future when penning a verse
And my lines seem a little snappy
Or appear to be overly terse . . .

Let me throw in a line overblown . . . that's no longer pared down to the bone . . . that takes on a life of its own . . . that may make you chuckle or groan . . . of a gargoyle that's carved out of stone . . . parachutes above the drop zone . .  . the baddest badass since Capone . . . the last of the species alone . . .  the smell of grass freshly mown . . . the melt-in-the-sun ice cream cone . . . smooth jazz from a cool saxophone . . . the wrong that you cannot condone . . . to say scon or should it be scone . . . can Canute turn the tide from his throne . . . a neverending line in a poem . . . that's more than a little slaphappy

Details | Kevin Dale Poem

The Hotel

Each year we drive to the south of Spain to soak up the sun's warm rays
But we like to maintain a leisurely pace, so it takes us two full days

Which means we stay at Hotel-and-Go, that sadly has one minor flaw
It's hidden away and finding the place each year is a bit of a chore

So this time I went into Google maps and zoomed in to the nth degree
The coordinates set, I was happy to let the sat nav find it for me

"You have reached your destination" the confident voice rang out
"No we flippin’ haven't" I cried "We're in the middle of a roundabout"

Ahead in the dark was a restaurant, so I went in to seek their advice
As to where the hotel was located, the directions were very precise

Turn to the left then left again then follow the road to the right
Go under a bridge, cross two roundabouts and the hotel will come into sight

We turned to the left, then left again and the road became a dirt track
We skidded and squealed with mud on the wheels with no way to reverse or turn back

We reached the hotel tired and irate, vowing never to come back again
I brought up the suitcase then a buzzing began, which was going to drive us insane

The noise came out of a grill, and although to heights I’m averse
I climbed on a chair and took it apart and succeeded in making it worse

The receptionist had nowhere to move us, but I wasn’t prepared to back down
So, fair play to her, she came up to the room to confront the irritant sound

"I'll find you another room", she said "You can’t stay in here tonight"
And so in the end she became my best friend, I could hardly contain my delight

I collected my kit and caboodle, pulled the case away from the wall
And the room immediately fell silent, not a trace of the buzzing at all

The noise had come out from the suitcase, hard to believe but true
My battery shaver had turned itself on and the sound was vibrating through

It was amplified by the hollow stud wall to emerge from the grill overhead
So the cause of the noise I had misdiagnosed creating confusion instead

I went down to the desk at reception to confess to the girl my ‘faux pas’ 
"Guess what, you’ll never believe it, the buzzing stopped, I know its bizarre”

So these days I’ll choose a hotel, that’s easy to find and what's more
I take out the batteries from every device and lay the case on the floor

Details | Kevin Dale Poem

The Rain In Spain

Enough already, there's ample sufficiency
We're up to here, there is no deficiency
I grumble and moan with growing proficiency
Please somebody, Stop the rain !!

The housework's done, its never been cleaner
The wife's as happy as I've ever seen her
This forced confinement affects my demeanor
Can't somebody, Stop the rain !!

Here in Spain we're not used to such rain
Another day starts and its pouring again
I don't walk the dog, we both aquaplane
I'm begging you, Stop the rain !!

But hold on a sec, the sun's peeping through
The clouds are dispersing, the sky cobalt blue
Break out the bottle, the glass and corkscrew
Cos somebody, Stopped the rain !!

Details | Kevin Dale Poem

Designer Dogs

Cockapoos, Labradoodles, 
Cavapoos and Oodle Spoodles,
Sprockerpoos, Irish Troodles, 
Maltipoos or simply Schnoodles

Multitudes of deviant Doodles,
Poos and cute expensive Toodles,
Consequences of canoodles 
Carried out with hoochey Poodles

Details | Kevin Dale Poem

The Ten Shilling Note

As a very young boy of fourteen I set out one night through the week
To meet my girlfriend from Girl Guides, the beautiful Angelique

It was a dark and windy evening and just as I put on my coat
My dad said "Get me some fags son" and gave me a ten shilling note

I rode to the unlighted village impatient to see my sweet beau
But ahead of our due assignation, felt a desperate need to go

Quickly I rode down the lane and clambered over a wall
And did what they call a 'green fielder', it really was a close call

I returned, feeling much better, then the blood turned cold in my veins
I'd wiped my bum with the ten bob note instead of using my brains

Ten shilling back then was a fortune, all my dad's money was blown
He was surely going to kill me, without it I couldn't go home

A giggling mass of young girls shot out from the village school
"Oh Angelique, here’s your boyfriend", I blushed and tried to act cool

Thinking as quick as I could, I asked to borrow a torch
"Something fell off my bike, I'll find it while you wait in the porch"

"Oh do let us help you” they squealed, "After all we are all Girl Guides"
"Well, its quicker to do it myself, and besides its freezing outside"

I knew that my chances were slim, a one in a million shot
I could kiss goodbye to that errant note . . .  or maybe not

I tore down the lane and hurdled the wall, turned on the torch and Whoopee!
Something drew me straight to it, I was deliriously happy with glee

The reason it hadn’t sailed off - well, let's keep the story clean
My girlfriend was happy to see me and I had ten shillings safe in my jeans

The shopkeeper looked at me sideways and covertly sniffed the air
As she handed over the Woodbines I silently offered a prayer

My dad got his smokes for the morning and asked “All OK”
I grinned and said “Yes dad, no problem, just an ordinary day”

Details | Kevin Dale Poem

La Mama

The first time we tackled 'The Nipple' which is also known as La Mama
The leader said "Today’s walk's a toughie", We replied "No Problema"

It was really a pleasant excursion till we dropped from Cumbre del Cid
On a vertical scree our choice seemed to be, to slide or slither or skid

When we safely got down to the bottom, the leader exclaimed “Well done,
But there’s no time to shilly or shally, we didn’t come here to have fun"

The breeze was gathering momentum, it was perfect for flying a kite
But as no-one had thought to pack one, we carried on, gaining more height

We managed to stay at the top, for maybe three minutes at most
Till the leader says "Come on let's leg it, we're being blown from pillar to post"

The second time we tackled 'The Nipple' we set out on an easier track
But the wind having other ideas, did its best to again blow us back

Just yards from our due destination on the trickiest, steepest terrain
The wind gently picked up our leader before dropping him back down again

His hat sailed away on a thermal, it soared like a swallow at play 
It fair broke his heart watching helpless, as his seventy pound hat flew away

Three intrepid souls kept on climbing, but one by one had to declare
They could have got right to the summit but the wind was spoiling their hair

So if you want to tackle La Mama, my advice is go elsewhere instead 
But if you insist, keep your feet on the ground and staple your hat to your head

Details | Kevin Dale Poem

Ode To a Path

Some folks love a precarious scramble
While others prefer a more genteel amble
Some only content with vertiginous drop
To parry and conquer on their way to the top

Two steps forward then slide one back
The hardest way up, on the steepest track
Hold your nerve when you make your next move
Trust your boots in this slippery groove

Hearts are racing, legs like clay, three hours in we've done 3K
Keep the faith and don't forsake, soon we'll have banana break
Skating on marbles on the descent, knees complaining, energy spent
Take a breather, mustn't grumble, take the praise for your last tumble

Now me I prefer a wide thoroughfare
A well laid path created with care
With steep elevation and generous wingspan
I boldly stride out knowing I can:

Hold my head up high and look at the sky
Walk side by side or let others pass by
Take in the views all the way to the peak
Check out the birds, in the sky so to speak
Take a photo, eat some cake, even take a comfort break
Swap a story, share a joke, be light hearted, go for broke
Lead from the front or bring up the rear
There's room to manoeuvre, there's room to change gear
To walk unrestricted with space to avail
On a phenomenal, first class, fabulous trail