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Keiera Pooley Poem
We don’t just love, we fall so deep into the emotion
that we’re consumed in the feeling,
we’re terrified of the thought of you leaving,
so we leave before you have the chance.
I always thought this was beautiful, until I realised that when its time for us to leave, we aren’t just sad,
we see suicide and destruction as our only option,
we give you the wings of love and the chance
for you to fly away, but if you do, our hearts are left scarred. That’s why we always run first,
because even though deep down we hope you
will catch us, we pretend that turning the world against us was the only option.
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2021
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Keiera Pooley Poem
a broken heart cannot be healed easily. it takes time and pain
a lot of it
it takes breakdowns and blank stares
crying for hours on end
and sometimes not feeling anything
another love won’t heal it
it has to be your own
for you to realise
all along, you weren’t broken,
you were healing
when everything around you tried to kill you.
-unKnownPerson
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2019
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Keiera Pooley Poem
screaming and in tears,
not knowing what we are about to experience
we are placed in arms of those we don’t know and
expected to bond with them
holding our little hands and stroking our soft skin as if we were their property,
we cry when we have to feed
because being so close to somebody’s skin is uncomfortable
especially when they can’t understand our words through wails
we are abandoned by the only humans we know and left to go out in the world
we spend the day once again with new people and new feelings
trapped inside the body of a child but a mind far too wise
left for us to do the same thing to “our” children
- unKnownPerson
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2019
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Keiera Pooley Poem
when i was younger, a meal out at a restaurant wasn’t a weeks worth of skipping breakfast
it wasn’t laxatives to make me feel worth something.
since i was a child, the word fat has been used to shame people. it never hurt me, until i realised it was supposed to. so when i was called fat i took a look at myself in the mirror and didn’t see a healthy child who enjoyed three meals a day, i saw a girl who would look better with her fingers down her throat.
i didn’t realise feeling hungry would become a thing i felt proud of, something about the cold water travelling down to the empty pit of my stomach made me feel whole.
i began to forget all of the things i loved in life and my illness was all i thought about.
people would comment on my weight and i became a valuable subject of conversation. “oh look at how slim her legs are” “look how much weight she’s lost on her face”
why would i stop when my eating disorder was the most exciting thing about me.
dinner dates with friends and movie nights turned into checking the calories on a bag of popcorn and crying when i realised i’d surpassed my daily limit.
the scales became my best friend and i wasn’t worried anymore about feeling full, i was obsessed with feeling empty
i was scared of what would happen if i picked up the fork or didn’t check how many calories were in a tomato
binging because my support system and purging became my routine
the illness hasn’t stopped hurting me and i’m afraid it will never stop
but i’m more afraid that it does
-unKnown Person
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2019
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Keiera Pooley Poem
food isn’t seen as fuel and nourishment, food is seen as guilt and shame
your bones wear thin and your hair falls out in clumps
you see your ribs when you lift up your shirt and you feel your hipbones stick out whenever your boney fingers are placed on them.
your throat is sore from the acid and the vomit flowing through you
your family know they should hide away the knifes and the blades
but what’s worse is that they’re scared you’re hurting so badly you might even harm yourself with a fork
but isn’t that what you’ve been doing all along?
you put down the fork... and haven’t picked it up since
-unKnown Person
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2019
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Keiera Pooley Poem
it wasn’t deep
not at all
it was just a gentle push against the skin
enough to silence the demons
screaming at me in my mind
it was just a scarlet trail
a feeling to stop feeling
a little cut
-unKnown Person
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2019
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Keiera Pooley Poem
just a pinch
just a scratch
just a graze
don’t worry about that
just a mark
just a burn
here is where this takes an evil turn
mummy doesn’t kiss my cuts better anymore
or help me sleep like she did before
instead i’m all alone on the bathroom floor
with a razor in my hand,
just one more?
-unKnown Person
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2019
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Keiera Pooley Poem
when i die
don’t tell me that you loved me
don’t tell me that you were there for me
don’t tell me that i was too young to go
i’d seen everything i needed
i saw the pain that the world gave me
i drowned in the sadness of the rain and suffocated on the pain of oxygen
don’t tell me that you miss me
or that you’re sad i’m gone
because i’ve been gone for a long time
-unKnownPerson
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2020
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Keiera Pooley Poem
i want somebody to love me;
to love me completely
and utterly
and unapologetically
i want a beautiful love
the kind of love that is gentle
the love where i feel the soft hands of somebody place their coat over my shoulders in the cold
the subtle love of their hand resting on my ankle when we’re sat somewhere in public and everyone is around
but nobody is feeling what either of us do in that moment
people talk about loving dangerously
i don’t want anymore danger
i don’t want anymore hurt
or caution
or destructiveness
i don’t want somebody to love me so hard it burns a hole in their heart
but somebody to love me so much the only burns they know come from the fire they feel inside when we hold eye contact for a moment too long
i’m sick of people matching pain with love
and hurt with feeling
not everything has to hurt anymore
at least that’s what i want somebody to whisper to me while my head is on their chest
and their hands are laced in my hair
and suddenly it’s not november anymore
and i’m not cold
and i’m not hurt
and i’m not bleeding;
i’m just here
in love
in a warm bed
with their body intertwined with mine
and the window is slightly open
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2023
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Keiera Pooley Poem
it crawls through me and lives in my skin
it floats in my blood and begs me to give in
the blade is my paintbrush and the paper: my skin
oh how much i would love for the blade to dig in
i think if i’m skinny, the pain will go
but really the pain is inside me and i can’t say no
the thinner i get, the more whole i feel
but i did not realise this was the devils deal
i give in to the thoughts and the demons in my head
for now i realise they’re not under my bed
it was never my fault, the demons live inside me
i could never ever change the way they control me
so dear devil, what’s next?
a cut to the wrist or a blow to the head
surely you know your game is no longer fun
in time you will see the damage you’ve done
i’ll be dead soon don’t worry,
the deed will be done
-unKnownPerson
Copyright © Keiera Pooley | Year Posted 2020
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