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Rats On Gas
My garden backs onto a farm
Which shouldn’t cause any alarm
With so much fresh air
I’m glad I live there
And only one thing spoils its charm
I feed the birds and feral cats
At night I enjoy watching bats
The field mice and spiders
That reside beside us
Are fine, but there’s too many rats
It’s fine that they eat the bird’s seed
I watch out for places they’ve peed
But there’s a lot more
Than there were before
The thing that they do best is breed
To stop them I have made a start
Regrettably, traps play their part
I’ve tried every type
And none match the hype
But guess what… rats can’t burp or fart
Although that sounds rather uncouth
I read it: It must be the truth
I’ll use baking powder
To make gassy chowder
And those rats are gonna go ‘POOF!’
But these rats are terribly bright
They come in the depth of the night
I mixed chocolate spread
With soda as said
The scent would prevail in low light
It was late so I went to my bed
Those rats were stuck firm in my head
Would they be beaten
Will that bait be eaten
By some other creature instead
At first light next morning I checked
I didn’t know what to expect
The bait was all gone
Those rats got it wrong
So they should be totally wrecked
Could my yard, at last, be rat free
A hedgehog is all that I see
His innards let rip
He shook at the hip
And farted and burped ‘Do-Re-Mi’
Copyright ©
Terry Flood
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