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Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

I Can't Just Change Overnight part 1

(Inspired by my sister, Laura Breidenthal’s poem called “The Dream in His Eyes” and also, inspired by Disturbed’s song “Forsaken”. Special thanks to my sister for such an awesome poem and the writer that wrote “Forsaken”. It’s been a pleasure, writing this LONG poem! Please feel free to comment below and I hope you like reading it!)

I’m getting over the wasted times I’ve spent 
During the summer days, indoors…I wonder where the time went…
Debating on whether or not to write 
An inspirational song once again – that’s a might, 
Despite what I feel deep inside –
The need to hide, but a want to be brave…
Don’t mind me – I’ll learn to behave
For the night, I’d rather be with my family by my side
For the night, I’d rather sleep with dreams that won’t subside
From my sight…but once I wake up, they are soon forgotten
Why is my hope rotten? In God’s eyes, am I unforgotten?
In the vast abyss…the abstract abyss…
I roam in my lonely distress; it’s only in my head
Can’t shake away this hopelessness…
I long to embrace happiness, but instead, I hold on to dread
Again…again…
Why should I allow myself to fall away again?
Complaining is only for the foolish in heart
So, why should I make a big fuss of things?
Can’t they see I’m breaking apart 
Or…hm…do they see my depression as another work of art? 
Am I worthy of praise from the start?
Reality stings…these dreams haven’t mended my wings…
Failing to meet the finish line…
Pretending that everything is dandy and fine
But, to be frank, it’s not...
Sorry, negativity is heating up like water in the pot
I’ve been taught not to worry 
I’ve been taught to be happy
I’ve been taught to be joyous
I’ve been told not to fuss…and cuss…
Then again, I fall down on the ground,
Yearning to win life’s awfully difficult round
I want to change the world for the better
But I can’t if I can’t change my life around…
Sorry for my childish negativity…
It would be a miracle if someone can hold my head up
Sorry for my bottomless misery…
But, I know for certain that God gathers up my tears in His cup
He stores them in His heart of love
He restores my faith and lifts me high above
Anyways, I’m quite aware that my feelings are fickle…
And these emotions I conceal are as bittersweet as a pickle…
But I shall not lose hope, 
For tomorrow will be another day to look forward to
My tongue will rejoice, not mope
For yesterday has passed away and there’s nothing else I can do
I should be a brighter blue…a brighter hue…
Still clouded by the little bits of memory in my brain that gets me insane
I naturally feel relieved that I don’t remember too much of my past
Maybe it’s because I’m growing up too fast…maybe a little too fast…
I wish I can cast away all woe
I want to bestow bliss to all I know
Don’t you see me fading? 
Can’t you see the shame I’ve dealt with for so long?
Don’t you know that I’m trading
My shame with agape love…
I can never get enough of it…don’t get me wrong…
Don’t dig me a grave, but have a heart to save
A long lost soul that has been wandering the streets of avarice lane
I fear that I have lost touch of the meaning of life…most of the time, letting my poverty gang up on me and coveting the lives of the wealthy individuals…fighting duels in my mind – committing a million crimes 
Take my hand and hold it tight…
Strife and peace have been quarrelling for what seems like years…please, just give me a break…for the hope of heaven…bring me peace instead of strife…let peace win this time or we’ll face perilous times
Roam this land and don’t pick a fight…
Alive and well, I wish I could be… 
Alive and well, as glad as can be…
Swimming in the sea of shame 
Why did you shatter? 
Shocked out of my mind, hunted for game
What’s the matter?
Did I hurt anyone with these words?
I’m sorry…they come and go like herds of birds…
Or should I say flock of birds? Wait, scratch that…
I don’t regret writing these lines…I wear them like my favorite hat…
Forsaken…alone…down in the dumps…you can fill in the blanks…
And yet, when I’m with you, I say otherwise...I pour in my lament liquid in a thousand tanks...
I don’t delight in what I say…maybe I should have taken your advice lately…be careful what I see or hear…I was reclusive, sinking in my angst…
I don’t blame you for being incomplete…I envy the fact that you’re wise…
At least in my eyes, but what does He see in His eyes?
The truth behind the lies? The lies? 
The thoughtless goodbyes? 
The temporary highs?
Amongst us is the darkest of night...
I guess I’m not the only one, struggling to see the light
Forgive the heartless acts of men, oh Lord…
The sins that we must repent of is far too much to afford
Together, we are one brilliant nation…
We all share our moments of tranquil sensation and utter frustration
Oh noble, humble children of the Father in Heaven…
Can I be included in His family too? Can I be complete like You like the number seven? 
I’ve slept for too long and I’ve wept over the wrong…
Over the wrong I’ve done…
How can I feel like I belong when at home, it’s hard to belong?
It feels like darkness has won…
Masked in damasked delusions of the dreams I’ve dreamt
I have the desire to let go of the resentment that crept into me…one attempt…
Ended up as a fail, 
But in the end, 
It didn’t land me in jail 
I don’t mean to offend
My attempt to answer the call of composure
Will be quite a challenge, but it’s a challenge I’m willing to face
I’m pretty sure that I won’t find the ultimate cure
To end chaos when unpredictable predicaments take place…
I speak with a sincere, fearless heart…
I will vanish away the doubts that try to rip us apart
Remind me not to lose track of hope and stay focused on what’s uplifting and of great significance 
The wasted times of my life – something I shouldn’t mope too much about…instead, I should shine on with ripened radiance…
The masses of elegantless anguish transformed me into this monster 
This hideous thing called Wasted Away Love
This repulsive rage has burned away Peace, my dove…
My dove of passion-driven accord that I probably can’t get enough of
My opinions of out-of-the-world peace isn’t at all flawless
But, please…just listen to me or I’ll spiral in my distress…
Smother me with your astuteness of authenticity 
Enthralled by the waterfalls of wonderfulness all over again

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2015


Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

The Inception: The Dark Side of Me

I’m broke without your love to repair me…

My young heart breaks into two and you push on the brakes…

Three strikez…you’re owt…. Get lost….that is my only plea

Our lives were at stake and we were taking way tooooo many risks…for my cat’s 9 sakes

We were 1…whatever happened to that?
Who release the rat? Was that you, cat?
We are 2…what’s wrong with you? 
Why did you lose your other shoe?
There it goes again…. ……… 

Let the pain I inflict upon you 
Internalize for a second or two
You filled my cup half empty…
You ran me over by words of deception
Why did I fall in love so easily? 
How come I fall victim to you?
Flames of uncertainty overwhelm my heart…
This is only the inception
Get up from the ground, you sheepish animal
Try your best to lift your head above the surface
Dead carcasses of negativity surround you now…
Your only hope is to grab the rope of hope,
But first let me grab it for you…
*we’re made as one…body….* said the voice in my head … …. …….. ……..
You need to rest on my shoulders for the meantime
Shocked out of the bloo…. Left without a clue
Don’t touch me…don’t lust over me…
I can see dirty secrets in your eyes of envious glee…
You knocked me out by your avalanching grace
Thought of you, drowning in the waters of woe…
You touched my heart in many ways…
You blew things into proportion…but it was “one of dose dayz”
You don’t even get the clues that I show you right in your face
I reveal to you my heart’s passion
And…you….tore…me…apart….
Can…you….just…take…heart….?
You take over me…you haunt me…
I step forward and you step backward…
Breathe into me…let me borrow your eyes…
Let me view the world in your eyes…
I want to know something…
I’m curious of what lies behind your sea-whirling eyes
Love me…DO please me…
the abyss is kissing me…
HATE ME…don’t COMFORT ME…
the light is fading out…
i need u
i want u
s p a y s e d  o w t  a l l  o v e  d e h  s u h h d d i n
mY LiFe IS fUlL oF errors…it ees a mezzzzzz
*IT’S TIIIIIME TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT…………* said the voice in my head
I want to be feeling your heartbeat against my chest
I see the world beneath my feats…I’m above all…
Ill-um-i-nate me with syllabic pleajsher
My heart is skipping out on beats…I’m missing out and abandoned like an orphan, relying on a weeping widow…she bit me with denial…I was a flaw from the start….unfreeze this heart of mine…I’m as joyous as a swine, but as insidious as a serpent…but I’m feeeeeeeelin’ fiiiiiine…..ssssssssshhhh! Don’t tell nobody…d o  n o t  tell ahhhh sssssssssingle ssssssoul…don’t ma-a-a-ake a sound….you pushed me down to the ground s= s= embarrassed…I’m ready for anything right now…I’m lost, wearing an upside down frown and feel me…the pain that beats me and shreds me like paper….useless paper…I’m shattering like glass…after the kid’s ball hits through it…he’s in awe and he runs away…he hides the evidence of his foolish throwing skillz – this price is blooming bigger like a rose in the paws of the beast…you ssssspiral out of shhhhhight…I waited for you…alone….but I’m not on my own……….I’m not made as one – I’m two again…you inflict pain upon my tortured, tear-jerking soul…your veins become serpentine
To my own…we share each other’s blood
You WILL feel my pain, bud
the pressure of your gravity pulled me down callously
Distracts scar me…in a lightyear moment
Caught in a sugar-coated bliss of a dream
GrAzE iN YOUR OWN MAZE
There’s No Medication To Heal This Hart-ake…
I ake…I crave cake…I bake in the oven…feelin’ like a flake…
GIMMEEEEE A CHANCE…
GIMMEEEEE A TRY
I stand strong…brain damaged by your words of calculus-complicated definitions 
I fell harder…dig in my mind… 
((((( . ))))) push me in the margins why don’t you? I’m that dot in the middle of the brackets 
I want something more than what life gives me right now
I fought…I fought 
But, I’m not satisfied…
I’m loathed by many…
Maybe that’s what I feel like at times – LOATHED BY ALL
I’m unique…I’m an angry guy…
I wish I wouldn’t act like a fly…
I’m entitled to your love…
I can’t fly away like a happy-go-lucky dove
Death ove you stix to me like a leach in my mind…………
I need not man’s wizzdumb…no, not right now….
I need God’s KINGDOM and wisdom
God’s Kingdom + His wisdom = peace on Earth
It’s not dat complicated…
Do me a favor and indulge yourselves in the delicacies of sin
Listen listen listen not to the lies…listen listen listen to the heart that beats from deep within
My heart is sinking……
Patience is the key to living life to the fullest
Acceptance is the key to freedom … just try your best to pass this diff-eh-colt test
I deserve you and your gifts
Envying your talents…that’s juzz bramazing…
: ( sad to the core, 
but I don’t want to sadden you anymore
This revealed my crazyyyy side…
This darkness submitted to me and said its vows like a mesmerizing, yet spellbindingly evil bride…
I’m under your shpell……..
Change your mind….
Tear me apart and crawl inside of my cranium of titaniumb bliss….
Hardening by the minute…I crawl back into my comfort shell
Bring me to life and undo these lies in my head….
I’ve overheard you saying: “It’s hard for me to figure you out”
Dreams of demented, dangerous desire enrapture me…
Don’t choke me with your polluted nature of twisted reverie 

Have you changed your mind about me?
How do I look in the eyes of the thief?
Suck it up…I put my shoes on and I cut off the laces…I know – I’m doing this for stupid reasons, but I’m still the boy that’s bold
Thhhose laces remind me of you and I, separated forever in reality…cruel departure embraced us…we were the clouds, growing cold…
Your hugs don’t feel the same anymore, you see?
Here’s a heart/|\kerchief to wipe away your grief… … …
. .
. .
. .

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2014


Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

Found and Safe

Close your eyes
Explicit shame sheds rage in my eyes
I’ll be alright in the morning light and the night’s so bright
Open up your eyes
Sharpen me like your pensive pencil……
Begin with me, thinking I’m not thin
Paper thin, but fat with loathe from deep within
Love me tightly…

Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…

The music in my brain
Has been driving me insane
Shake off all showy offiness
End the madness and the sadness
End the sweetless and the liars of distress
Poor and rich in heart…
Torn apart…I need you now…ripped apart
I want you later, see yah later
On a Friday night, I’m wasting time on the computer

Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…

Your mind is so small combined to mine
Just don’t worry – I’ll be fine
Hung out with friends here and there…
So what if I stare…do you think I care?
Hateful, yet loveful… what about you?
Have you lost your mind?
Are you left behind too?
Blacked out…….shout for me……
KISS ME, YOU KNEW THAT I LOVED YOU… with gleeeeee
Gleeeee
Gleeeee
Sunlit glee….
This shit just got real…
I’m legit and made out of steel
I’m a model in heart online…
I dine with my words…
I float like colorful birds

Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…
Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…

I broke the law to be with you again
Am I gay? No….why do you ask?
I’m straight with bi-tendencies…in shame, I bask
Darkened by the pornographies of life
Never believed God could abandon me and send me strife
Maybe it was my fault
Maybe it was my fault
I’m sorry for sinning…
The lusts – they are winning…
I need a touch of love and sorrow
My fears and hopes are put aside…make way to courage…
Determination runs in my blud…
Don’t worry about me, bud

Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…
Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…

Okay, I sin…so what?
Shut the door and you are the one that I adore
Drill a hole in the sky
I can reach it if I can fly
Wings and rings flutter…
I am as soft as butter
Stop being as stubborn as an ass
Trouble doubles in my mind…
So cold and numb and bliiiiind
Taking all I’ve said and the shut-ups I bled…
The lips of many quiver…
Words…can cure or injure
Drown me in the pool of pleasure
Beyond measure…
I have an addiction that is common
Summon me to the Lord…
Convene, friends that are from the Lord…

Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…
Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…
Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…
Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…

Summer is never gonna come it seems
It’s only in my dreams…it’s only in my dreams…
Swim…the lights dim…
Let’s party and she’s my whim…
Bubbled up by bubbles…
My mind is positive and our love doubles…

Possibilities…limitless…
Please, I need you for a few minutes
I wish I was with you, hopefulness
Please, I want you for a few minutes

Brand new is the day as it shines…
Close the blinds of time…I keep my word and signs
Assign me to the assignments of God’s word
Fighting the sexual urges…left unheard, yet heard
A bird flies pass’d me…I smile helplessly…shyly…
Gay? Am I gay with pride?
The answer is……………………………….
No – I burn on for my future bride
Suck’d up in the abyss…………………………

Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…
Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…
Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…
Headphones rattle my bones
Endure till the end, friend of mine
We’ll soon be safe and sound
Sitting on the soaked ground….ground….
Without a sound…
With a sound
Of happiness all year round…
Of happiness…
but
I-I-I
Am
Captivity-bound
But, with God and others, I’m safe and sound
Change you and I mind you…
Same You and I don’t mind You…

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2015


Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

Inception: Trade Me Prosperity - Collab with Mikey part 4

Blossoming 
Effulgent sun proffers love 
Clambering… 
My brain makes me wonder if you remember the times shared
Back to the blessed times, I recall that you would listened, be worried about me, and, at the time, you cared
We’re running out of time again…
And I’m still searching for you – where have you gone?
Let our journeys of love begin – let’s welcome the sun…
Let the fire of desire burn on…I want to see you shine on…
Let this be our delightful dawn…
Now, I’m wondering where you have been…
I want to belong in your arms…
I don’t want to be deceived by evil charms
It alarms me to see you depart like the clouds during the gloomy morning
I catch a glimpse of you all of the sudden, mourning bitterly... Why are you forlorning?
Ascending
Above the undergrowth…of
Thorns and weeds
Your river of deceit leaks out… now, I can clearly see
Your true colors…you resurrected radiance in the eyes of millions…and you allowed me to escalate with ecstatic eagerness and enjoyment, much like a satisfied, well-watered tree…nurtured by sunlit glee 
I never thought that this all could be
You push me to become like all felons
Possibly, doubt slipped into my mind and traded me with prosperity in the hands of tragedy
Nothing can harm us...We're on the same bus…my misery and yours, together, weigh a trillion tons
You killed my trust and hope…and fed your twisted honesty
Our bittersweet chorus of lies and miseries sings its tune of tainted lullabies
Move on once again we must…or we’ll be targeted by calamity 
I know you hear me, but you ignored my silent cries…oh darling, how the time flies…
Oh please, darling angel, fix me, for I am a wrecked-up bicycle – never wave your 
Misery-laced goodbyes…cut it out before it devours us with utter distress!
For you, I am now saddened and try to untie myself from this mess…
As my love and hope for you slowly but surely dies,
Sift out the vile lies and don’t ask your whys
I still hear your wistful cries
You relied on the Lord of the Flies
And you engrossed him…now, he draws near to you because you enchanted him with your miraculous powers…I was spell-bound and gravity-bound in the chambers of alienation while you were showing off your capacities…I thought it cool until I saw your wicked ways…I was never wise, but a young fool! 
You say it’s a natural gift that’s used as a priceless, grand tool…but, now I know that YOU are so cruel 
Your wrongful sins – your mind can’t wrap itself around it…it still denies
As my racing thoughts keeps asking those ridiculous whys
I tried my hardest to protect you from your own mistakes…leave the past behind you
Don't let me go; please...I know our time is almost up
Don't cut me off...don't rage wars in your mind...suicidal fatality stuffed your mind with plastic relief...
It will bring grief upon us...so, don't say those words...
Tell me one thing before you go away forever leaving me in grief
I'm hanging on the branches...tomorrow is way too far away...let's embrace our young spirits
Like dying angels we fly away apart like birds
YOU shattered me with thoughtless words...the beat of your heart...is thumping so absurd...releasing herds (of distress and stress and pushing me back in my emotional mess)
You once were my heart’s dearest tune; now, my heart has turned into a prune
You're so far...yesterday's tomorrow shines on like a star...
I was the shining sun and you the beaming moon; soon, I will unwrap my fresh, majestic wings and soar straight out of my cocoon 
Furtively
The moon unravels wonders
Glimmering  
Dream on, wherever you are – I’m the dusk and you’re the dawn…where are you now? Have you driven to another lane, super fast car?
You once owned my mind and heart…I was smitten by your blessed breeze
Nightmares will fade and something else will allow us to be at ease 
He will, with a heart of love, heal your scar…that’s in the core of your heart…
You pushed me way too far – I tried to twinkle bright like your midnight star, but I broke apart
Right now, let's do what we should've started long ago
Give me a scar that I can show
We got right now...we're running out of time...go with the flow...of the blessed breeze...and be marinated in the sun's glow
To remind me to save myself from what I thought was bliss before we both must go
There's no use of crying nor is there any excuses for lying
In the back of my mind, I knew this day would come upon me – I was scared (out of my wits)
Now, I stand here like I always do, but my soul you have scarred (I was so unprepared…we were breaking bit by bit and we threw our childish fits)
Like nothing ever happened to me or you, 
You moved on and on with your life without ever thinking of me
I loathe the thought of you forgetting about me out of the blue
I’ve emphasized about what you’ve been through…why do you have to be so cruel?
You used me as an inadequate, worthless tool and you stepped all over me like a mat...my love fuel
That I’ve kindled just for you…burnt out due to discouragement and insecurity…
You will always be unforgotten in my memory…
It makes me upset to think about you leaving me broken…
I already know that you hardly ever think highly of me
No wonder you left me broken in streets of L.A. – I’m rotting like an ancient tree 
You left me to wither and grow rancid like a long forgotten tree with burden leaves, hanging on my limb-like branches that grow ecstatically for eternity
Withering away…like the day, bowing down to the night…I’m decaying ever more inside and outside
I have been corrupted and changed by you tears you have shed – I’ve been by your side; why are you so depressed? Why can’t I mend your shattered pride?

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2014


Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

Inception: Tears of Bittersweet Sentiments - Collab with Mikey part 5

He lifts me up on cloud nine
I’m a lost sheep in godly sleep
He nurtures me like His child – I’m feelin’ fine
I’m a joyful sheep in godly sleep
Dead leaves of dried hope and fervor-lacking faith blew away with the wistful wind – this depression…no one can comprehend or they might reduce to tears…you might break or bend, so let me replace your fears with unsullied, heaven-made hopes and fill your cup to the brim with perpetual cheers
I have left this withering tree because my mind rehearsed double doubts
Voices in my head howled heartrendingly: “They haven’t left the time to mend me, so I’m waiting for my end…I’ve lived a happy life and now I got to face my demise that I’ve tried to avoid for one hundred and fifty y-years”
I have been pinned to the spot; I can’t get over the fact that she left me to rot…I’m choosing to walk countless routes
I was once a lost sheep
But, now I’m enjoying my godly sleep
I’m skipping to and fro
In God’s green pastures…I lie…
I sing …I grow…I wander off…I fly…
I float…in God’s still waters – 
His PEACE will never die! 
I grieved for you as I watched you slit your wrists in crimson regret - painted red with shameful lusts and remorse...and I cried...cried...cried...knowing that you lost your faith in the Most High – I’m bewildered beyond logic and belief…
I’m dying for His relief to drown away my disdainful disbelief…my lavishing grief…
Don’t be shy – call upon Him for help and support and I wish you the best in all you do and I wish you go through more good times to uplift you above the surface; let me hearten you with optimistic spirits and be crowned with splendid anticipation; but, I must be responsible and mild
For your loving heart and consideration are slowly fading and dying
Sick of pretending that I have the ability to keep on flying, but I must keep on trying to earn back my wonderful sensation that I’ve cherished as I wild child
You’re killing me softly…with thrilling possibilities in mind – I don’t wanna be left behind…I miss you and there’s no one else your kind
Possibly, there’s an open door of opportunity to open up the eyes of the blind
Save me if you’d be so kind
Believe in me…don’t desert me, but instead – f-find me
Reflect on me…don’t lose grip of the rope of hope or lose touch of the ecstasy that’s next to sea
You inflicted pain upon me and it truly hurts me to the core – your disloyalty is the only thing I receive from a so-called healer
I was once a lost sheep
Mourning night after night…
I used to forlorn day after day 
I’m alarmed and I’m yearning for Your light 
Your might…Your delight
To get through my plight…to fight the good fight
I used to weep bitterly in dismay 
You smoked me out like a cigarette…and I’m left on the street grounds like a cigarette butt – The moment you picked me up and I said yes for your sake, I submitted to the pleasure that it would give you and I, then I regret it and I became so upset
From your corrupting ways, I felt I had taken part of it and I hastily decided to fret
And now, I beat myself up for it...my mind is sky high with doubt and my body feels like a drought...dry with a lack of empathy and indulged in loathe and envy...I-I am upset
I was determined to win 1st place in this race of honor. I know that there are so much gold nuggets to find below the dirt of Mother Nature. It’s time to unwind. 
I was drunk off of your confidence, but I don’t know how to do without your motivation near my side – I don’t mind you pushing me towards my goal as long as I get out of my comfort zone. But, I couldn’t run fast enough and I submitted to my failure…I fell to the ground in disgrace and my heart ceased from beating…I’m in appall right now and I bet
I need to pass this test – I should’ve tried my best, despite you leaving me behind as usual. Tell me this, sweetheart – I ever cross your mind? 
Don’t stab my back with lies, but shed me the truth, so that we will be free from misery’s chambers. I found it hard to believe that I was on my own all along, but not alone; God is my backbone, supporting me along the way – I ignored the call of negativity and I picked up on positivity – it treated me alright and portrayed life in another magnificent light; it even traced me a smile of satisfaction for a while – I thought her awfully kind to do such a thing. I am Forever Confounded and Ambushed in your Lies’ Debt
It seemed as if no one could befriend a monster like me and I couldn’t help, but pray
That all hope, faith, and love would not perished from my sundrenched sight
It seemed like the end when I went through the dilemmas in my life – I remember being bewildered and going astray 
I am overwhelmed by the cost of losing you again…I searched all over for you day and night
Don't leave me to die...don’t stomp all over me like your doormat
I am not your pet...and there’s a reason why I said that
I won't take your orders
We're not crossing borders
Can you feel me when I cry bittersweet tears of sentiments? Do you even care to see the liquid lament, streaming down my universe, aquatic eyes? Can you release my tension like breaking open boulders?
You left me without any comforting shoulders…your words injure me – frankly, it tortures…
Nor does it nurture me with heavens’ light, but it makes me kiss the abyss of hazardous hells
On this perilous voyage, your hand you never did lend   
Now, I’m spiraling into the black hole of vibrantless farewells

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2014


Long poem by Ian Howard | Details |

Phobia's

     Phobias
	A Bluto is not that Disney dog
	It was when a mewling 
	that I would scream 
	Should they wet my body
	And then apply cream
	
	Ablutophobia – fear of bathing, washing, or cleaning
	
	Achluo the demon that lurks
	In darkened corners
	The long toothed life suckers realm
	I am scared as the sun dims
	It seems to bare my soul
	
	Achluophobia – fear of darkness
	Acro what did they do 
	They called me acrobat 
	This will not do
	I get giddy standing on a matchbox
	Please get a net to see me through
	Acrophobia – fear of heights

	
	Agora just shut that door 
	I am staying here forever more
	Bring me food put it on the floor
	The letter box is just for you
	Don’t, Don’t,  try to get through
	
	Agoraphobia,  Fear of open spaces or of being in public places. Fear of leaving a                    safe place
	Agrap stole my feelings 
	He caught me unaware
	I am now afraid of sex 
	don’t ask me anymore
	It frightens me that’s for sure
	
	Agraphobia – fear of sexual abuse

	Agrizoo an angry gorilla I knew
	Wild as hell was kept in a cell
	As all his kind, even a timid Hind
	They scare the crap out of me
	Please let them run free

	Agrizoophobia – fear of wild animals

	A gyro is just what I need
	I will fit it to my trusty stead
	He will fly straight across that band
	A tarmac nasty throughout the land
	I cannot face the walk you see
	Agyrophobia –fear of crossing the road

	Aichmohe got in a hell of a fight
	They killed him with a pointed knife
	It will come for me just you see
	I cannot even mend his cloth
	Won’t  touch a needle at any cost
	
	Aichmophobia – fear of sharp or pointed objects (such as a needle or knife)
	

	Ailuro he lived next door 
	The bastard sits on the fence
	To me he snarls not a purr
	A Persian he is supposed to be
	Frightens the *****out of me
	
	Ailurophobia – fear of cats
	
	Algo, Away, I am pain free
	This morphine is the best
	First day of pain free rest
	Been told that it will return
	Got some gas, peace I yearn
	
	
	Algophobia - fear of pain

	Andro I’d rather be               (android)
	I am metal and plastic you see
	Electric person not man or woman
	That would be so sad
	If just a man I would go mad

	Androphobia – fear of men

	Antho the pologist got the plan
	He put concrete throughout the land.
	Not one shrub or flower seen
	Not one blade of grass green
	A flower would make me scream

	Anthophobia – fear of flowers


	Anthropo was a lonely man
	Wouldn’t mix with others so
	He lived in a cave, well just a hole
	You would see his eyes peeping out
	A shaking frame if people were about
	
	Anthropophobia – fear of people or the company of people, a form of social phobia.

	Aqua marine or even the wet stuff
	Is enough to drive me mad
	I stay in when there is rain
	Just wait for the sun to shine again
	A damp tissue that’s quite enough

	Aquaphobia – fear of water. Distinct from Hydrophobia, a scientific property that makes chemicals averse to interaction with water, as well as an archaic name for rabies

	Arach no, and know the score
	Those creepy creatures on the wall
	Send shivers up and down my spine
	Six legs and venom to drive you mad
	I am running already it is sad.

	Arachnophobia – fear of spiders


	Astra my name you would think of the stars
	My gaze goes up but not that far
	To the first cloud there in the sky
	If it’s the shape of an anvil I will fly 
	Fear grips me and I don’t know why
	
	Astraphobia – fear of thunder and lightning
	Atychi that was about the size of me
	The others would just make fun
	I was no good to anyone
	A failure of the first degree
	Nothing my goal, was all I could see
	
	Atychiphobia – fear of failure

	Auto matic I will seek people out
	To touch to play as long as they are near
	Don’t leave me in this place alone 
        A singularity is my biggest fear
	I will hold anyone you see I care

	Autophobia – fear of being alone or isolated
	
	Automat o no it’s not true how could you
	An advert that’s telling just lies
	Don’t all the others realize
	What you say is not true, put it right 
	It will drive me crazy I’ll keep out of sight
	
	Automatonophobia – fear of anything that falsely represents a sentient being

	Aviat o if you think I am going in that
	No I am not a scared ***** cat
	If we were meant to go fly
	Wings we would have from him on high
	Fold your machine and put it just so.
	
	Aviophobia, Aviatophobia – fear of flying
	
	
	
	
	Chaeto he was a Greek of old
	Bald as a badger so the story is told
	But why you say is there no cure 
	For him to grow some lovely hair
	For him it would give such a scare

	Chaetophobia – fear of hair

	Chemo therapy keep away from me
	Chemicals scare me I know they are free
	But to have them coursing through my veins
	No matter how good they are, and that jar
	The fear of everything for what they are 

	Chemophobia – fear of chemicals

	Chirop to or not too so I am told
	They stick in your hair best to be bald
	Now I find that my nails are made of hair
	Chirop is what I fear not chiropodist is that clear!!
	Just shave my head and cut my nails dear

	
	Chiroptophobia – fear of bats

	Chromo shines bright in my eyes
	The fear of all colours  I realise
	Now I am safe from a troubled day
	Into my dark room, I have found my way
	Knock when that sun has met its demise

	Chromophobia - fear of bright colors

Copyright © Ian Howard | Year Posted 2012


Long poem by Debbie Duncan | Details |

BY THE SEA

PART One,,,, as she saw it.


The mountains and the meadows were always so beautiful this time of year.
 It seemed as if a fresh new world always came to life. The high cliffs turned sharply downward.  As I sat listening to the ocean tides smashing against the walls of the mountain below. There was a mild breeze blowing from the south. The grass in the flower covered meadows moved with the breeze. The sun shined so brightly I thought it would melt me at times.

As I stood up from the log where I was sitting by the emerald forest, the breeze pressed my dress against me. It formed to the soft round curves of my breast, down through the curves of my waist pushing against my yielding hips. As I blinked from the sun, I saw him there in the distance. I had thought I was alone. But there he was,  starring straight at me. What would I do and where could I turn? I knew what kinds of thoughts men had, my mother told me all about them. I saw that he was beginning to move my way !

 I saw him there as he saw me. I was paralyzed, not knowing what direction to move. Though as I watched him from afar, he did not seem dangerous as my mother always warned. Still, I could hear her words like a tape recorder in the back of my mind.
               
 Should I dare take my eyes from his? I could see his eyes were dark, maybe brown, or even midnight blue.  What ever the color, I could tell they were smoldering with restrained passions. His hair was long to his shoulder blades. I knew that because it moved with the wind.  He had broad shoulders with long legs. I knew I must not let him reach me. If his arms entangled me , surely I would never get loose. And, I'm not sure I would want too. Even though I heard the words of my mother, running in my head.
 I could feel the tiny  beads of sweat trickling down between my breasts. I was not sure I should take my eyes from him as I leaned down to pick up the fan that had slipped from my hand to my bare feet.

PART ONE,,,, As he saw it .

  The winter snow had melted and yielded to the bright warming rays of the spring sun.  The bears had come out of hibernation with their  new born looking for food. The mountains and the meadows were born again, new, fresh and alive with life.  Everything was beautiful and as it should be. Birds singing, their mating songs blended with the crash of the surf against the steep cliffs of the mountain. Nature was at peace with itself, and I came here to share in this peace.  To be alone with the earth, or so I thought.  

I found a place to sit on the grass hidden among the flowers in the high meadows.  So I could enjoy the gentle breeze blowing while watching the forest animals. The warm sun caressed my body and warmed me. It was a prefect day, yet something was missing. A day like this needed to be shared with someone, someone special.  Stretching,  I caught a slight movement out of the corner of my eye, just across the enchanted forest. Of a beautiful women. It couldn't be possible as no one knew of this place. I had come here for years and had never seen a another person before. Yet, there she was. Dressed in a dress the wind made love to, pressing it to her body. Clinging to the sensual curves of her breast, down to her firm waist and full inviting hips. I suddenly felt drawn to her and stood up. I knew she had seen me as she was starring back at me, as I stood staring back at her. She was a vision. And I was afraid she would vanish if I approached her. Yet, she seemed to be smiling, calling to me as I started walking towards her. I remember the stories my grandmother had told me of the enchantresses that lived in this forest, but I did not hesitate. I would give to her anything she wanted, anything she desired.

As I approached her I realized she was real. She seemed to be looking at me, daring me to come closer. All the stories of the enchantress my grandmother had told me flooded my mind with a warning. Yet, she was so beautiful, so inviting  and I couldn't take my eyes from her. I was slowly losing control with each and every step that brought me closer to her. I knew I was lost as I felt the heat of my desire to be with her, starting to take control. It was a struggle not to run to this beautiful creature , with the golden hair, and angelic face.  As I came closer I couldn't help but notice her sensual breasts rising and falling with each breath she took. She seemed to be smiling, challenging me with everything that made her a beautiful, desirable woman. A woman this sensual, this beautiful, this desirable was surely the enchantress, and I was hers. As a bee is drawn to the flower, I was being drawn to this women.

Suddenly she reached down to pick something up. It was just then I noticed she was barefoot.  As she bent over to retrieve what she had dropped, the sun reflected off her spun gold hair. and radiated a golden brightness that was almost blinding.  Her dress shifted  allowing me to see that her body enhanced her dress, rather then the dress enhancing her body. She would look beautiful in anything she wore.  The heat of my desire for her was beginning to consume me with it's fire. I felt the beginnings of ,,,,,,,,,,   

   

   Nov. 18 1992,,,, Short story I started to write, A friend ask if he could write from a males point of view.

Copyright © Debbie Duncan | Year Posted 2013


Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

Trouble

Dedicated to the song “Trouble” by Coldplay 

(Verse 1) 
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to cause you trouble 
Oooh ah oooh
I didn’t mean to act so uncanny
I didn’t mean to act irrational
I get so damn emotional 
Sometimes, I get immature and all…
I get so insecure – 
My words are oh so impure
Endure,
I must
Letting go 
Of lust…

(Refrain) 
Hmm Hmm mmm mmm Hmm (x2)
Ooooh…
You’re as bizarre as a genie in a maroon lamp
I’m a happy camper ever since my boots were damp
Carry on, carrion heart
I’m a tramp, torn apart
A lot of times, I wish I didn’t let you down
Let me take my last bow with a furrowed brow 
I long to see your upside down frown
Here, take my hand and love me up somehow
We exchange grins ear to ear
I shed a silent…tear…

(Pre-chorus) 
Walking as fast as lightning strikes…
My confident stride is headed your way
You can go ahead and hit those Facebook ‘likes’
On all my posts that I make day by day
I’m just sitting here optimistic’lly
Nothing new is happening, my dear misery
Oh, good grief…
Give me relief…
Oh, good grief…
Give me release…
My ego doesn’t matter to me
My reputation is screwed up frankly
But, I don’t care 
I don’t have time to care
I just don’t have time 
To play Truth or Dare

(Chorus) 
Truth hurts, but…
I didn’t mean to 
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to cause you trouble
I made it look as if it was somewhat subtle
Your farewells didn’t mean a thing to me
You were my happiness until you made me feel angry
We had our love chemistry 
I have separation anxiety
Don’t cause me anymore drama
I’m sick of all the trauma I feel…
If only you’d come home, momma…
But, you treat us like we’re no big deal!
I become numb and sore the minute we crashed like shimmering shores
I’m like a Cinderella at home all day and night, doing endless chores
Suddenly, my triumphant spirit begins to soar
So…what are you waiting for?
I didn’t mean to 
I didn’t mean to cause you trouble…
My darling so true…

(Verse 2)
I didn’t mean to 
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to be an abomination
I was just wondering around the place
Squandering time alone time and time again…
I want to feel that sensual sensation with you and I
You and I made me feel my all-too-familiar natural high
I’m not the only one, thinking I’m a waste of space
You’re my saving grace, 
Longing for your embrace
So, just in case,
Give me another reason to love you again
Wonderin’ where you have been?
All my life,
I dealt with strife
I’m in love and I can’t hide it
I wouldn’t lie – our love is legit

(Pre-chorus) 
Walking as fast as lightning strikes…
My confident stride is headed your way
You can go ahead and hit those Facebook ‘likes’
On all my posts that I make day by day
I’m just sitting here optimistically
Nothing new is happening, my dear misery
Oh, good grief…
Give me relief…
Oh, good grief…
Give me release…
My ego doesn’t matter to me
My reputation is screwed up frankly
But, I don’t care 
I don’t have time to care
I just don’t have time 
To play Truth or Dare

(Chorus) 
Truth hurts, but…
I didn’t mean to 
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to cause you trouble
I made it look as if it was somewhat subtle
Somehow, your farewells didn’t mean a thing to me
You were my happiness until you made me feel angry
We had our love chemistry 
I have separation anxiety, baby
Don’t cause me anymore drama
I’m sick of all the trauma I feel…
If only you’d come home, momma…
But, you treat us like we’re no big deal!
I become numb and sore the minute we crashed like shimmering shores
I’m like a Cinderella at home all day and night, doing endless chores
Suddenly, my triumphant spirit begins to soar
So…what are you waiting for?
I didn’t mean to 
I didn’t mean to cause you trouble…
My darling so true…

(Verse 3)
I didn’t mean to 
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to act so meaningless
I was in distress more or less
There’s lotsa secrets and truths I must confess
I often wish I wasn’t in love…
However, you’re the one I think of
I still have innocence and childlike joy,
Being that same ol’ benevolent boy
So, please don’t
Please don’t
Please don’t manipulate me like a wrecked-up toy
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to cause you trouble
I made it seem a little too subtle
I must leave you all alone now
I, alone, am on my own, without a phone 

(Refrain) 
Hmm Hmm mmm mmm Hmm (x2)
Ooooh…
You’re as bizarre as a genie in a maroon lamp
I’m a happy camper ever since my boots were damp
Carry on, carrion heart
I’m a tramp, torn apart
A lot of times, I wish I didn’t let you down
Let me take my last bow with a furrowed brow 
I long to see your upside down frown
Here, take my hand and love me up somehow

(Bridge) 
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to
I didn’t mean to break your heart in two
Please forgive me…
Please forgive me…
Please…
I was a player…
I’m sorry, 
I was sick with dem luv floo
I believe you and I 
Are still meant to be
Now, I’m awfully shy
It’s easier said than done to get out of my shell
I belong in my own skin today – does that ring a bell?

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2016


Long poem by Joel Lee | Details |

Unfinish

A Dark Identity

Days into nights... time without time
Normalities of everyday life beckons to remain
Shadows with lights.... to find to define
I am he who goes by without a name

The world is only up to date
And I’ve decided no more to follow
Bearing time to finally relate
Yet a self I’m to find to wallow

He who walks without an identity... walks alone
And he who walks alone needs be proud
Yet walking forever without finding a home
Have I that heaven beyond the clouds?

I cannot see either far or near
I cannot be to be neither nor
I’m listening... I cannot hear
I’m at peace... I’m at war

I did not know... am I suppose to?
I know I’m alive... is that enough?
Yet, rather not to know than knew
For knowledge shall never last

A mystery if not yet to be
That one mysterious hope to be searching for
I have dreams but what did I see?
I have no one... not one I can call

A darken need shall heed not words
For the dark shall rise as light
The fade will be a promise to be heard
For shadows are without night

And I started to listen distractedly
Hearing for what my eyes cannot see
A hallucinatory moment ever constantly
As I began to believe that of what cannot be

The instant my eyes close
My mind drew as suppose
Sketching a stand alone amid a world once seen
Of ranging fires to have had believed as a dream
And there I was... a lone figure enveloped in darkness
With crossing flames alight yet from a distance as useless
Left as I was before... I am to return as I am
Reliving once more this beginning with never the end
Thus did I continue my path away from the bloodshed
Carefully as one had hoped where a darker darkness be led
No more do I wonder what transported me here
To only know for certain I am riddled of constant fear

“Fear is a fire
To temper courage and resolve
Be it desire
To quench the thirst for one’s unfounded lost”

And there it was... words barely a whisper
Where it came from... no longer matters
For the intended vigor were already cast upon
Serving me with renewed purpose for a sense to belong
Before long, beyond doubts... my callings were clear
The source from where it first began was indeed here
Almost startled, I looked around knowing I’m blinded to see
Too dark as it was, had it not been a lighted green to be
And there it was... a single light beyond the almighty dark
That one greenish light to aid one’s lonesome heart
Rather peculiar for I haven’t notice it before
And naturally I am to walk towards the green grandeur
Flickering and wavy as I drew closer to my destination
Seeing finally for what appears to be the least of expectations
Astonishingly, it was a lantern where within was the sighted fire
And simply the fiery green alone ignites ever on in dire
Levitated in midair, it stands rigid with its haunting presence
With an aura more deserving then welcoming of essence
So mesmerized I was... I wanted to behold
That of warmth for perhaps deliverance from cold
A dare if not, if only, if I must
A flame to embrace, a curiosity to engulf
And surely... I lifted my hand with only a wanting touch
Surely but unknowingly... the flame itself is to parch
Sparkles of green eludes and transcends about
As well an aria, an ancient tune goes aloud
To only see to believe, perhaps my life to perceive
Yet the question being... what did I achieve?
Smoke arises... wavering, quivering, settling...
My time... misgiving, misguiding and misleading
And there he was... rather it be
A human?... isn’t to be I see

“A dark wanderer, perhaps a lone wanderer alone
Regardless... a stranger afar returning home
Have you the teachings bequeath upon you?
From a once being of a knight who knew
For he alone stands unnerve by another
Serving a purpose to hold true forever
The resemblance I see forth leaves me incertitude
Both as mortals... though only he remains in servitude
Yet... my appointment upon you is clear
I am to you drawn as you to me when you hear
Nevertheless, far too long were you of absence
And once more I am in honor to be in your presence
It never is clear what the heavens contrive
For this unsung war... humanities were birth to strive
Every one mortal given birth were forged for war
To ensure the survival of humanities and of peace to befall
For many years this bloodshed wages in dire
Almost as certainly, the spirits of men responsively tire
No more are there ideas nor hopes they are to see
Battling on for pure survival remains what leads them be
Your return however, will perhaps set the tides in our favor
Though I know not the intention, I do not disregard altogether
Do not let the reasons why you have returned cloud your mind
I ask of you rather to remember who you once were to define
The land of The Ancients is never a quest for truth to seek
Purely for good to triumph over evil is the only idea you will need
Prepare yourself well stranger, for good will always be in disguise
Treachery and deception as often will never in itself be a lie
The unforgiving way is still a long one I’m afraid
However well is Heaven to plan... evil as always will await
And until out time will once more cross between us
I assure you... your time in this world will outlast”

Copyright © Joel Lee | Year Posted 2012


Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

My Robotic Fantasy

Livin’ in filth…
Flippin’ out on everyone…
Pow! to my head. Pow! to my head.
Hand me a gun…gun…
Was livin’ my dream
Once in a great while
Was dyin’ in reality
Run just one more mile

*whisper* What am I s’posed to do?
Sit there and cry?
Why am I sick with dem luv flu?
Why do I lie…
TO MYSELF!?

I put my mind into my work
Sorry for acting like a total jerk
That’s so abserk
Stressed out
Dry as a drought
But, I fought the battles that were wondering in my head
The attitude of gratitude drench me not with dread

Livin’ in a robotic fantasy 
Livin’ in a robotic fantasy
Livin’ in a robotic fantasy
Livin’ in a…
Livin’ in a-a-a-a…
Livin’ in a robotic fantasy…
I speak in rhythm
I speak to them
A sweet talk of non-insanity
I’m sane 
On another lane
I’m sane 
On another lane
I’m sane
On another lane…

Was livin’ my dream
Once in a great while
Was dyin’ in reality
Run just one more mile

*whisper* What am I s’posed to do?
Sit there and cry?
Why am I sick with dem luv flu?
Why do I lie…
TO MYSELF!?

Nervous reaction…I talk with no action…
My dreams will be fulfilled with satisfaction…
Give me a fraction of your satisfaction…
GIVE ME A FRACTION OF YOUR……….satisfaction…..
Satisfaction…
Shun out the light of the moon
Happiness will hunt me down soon

Livin’ in a robotic fantasy 
Livin’ in a robotic fantasy
Livin’ in a robotic fantasy
Livin’ in a…
Livin’ in a-a-a-a…
Livin’ in a robotic fantasy…
I speak in rhythm
I speak to them
A sweet talk of non-insanity
I’m sane 
On another lane
I’m sane 
On another lane
I’m sane
On another lane…

Society splintered my hope…
I was addicted to you like people hooked on dope

Was livin’ my dream
Once in a great while
Was dyin’ in reality
Run just one more mile

*whisper* What am I s’posed to do?
Sit there and cry?
Why am I sick with dem luv flu?
Why do I lie…
TO MYSELF!?

Was livin’ my dream
Once in a great while
Was dyin’ in reality
Run just one more mile

*whisper* What am I s’posed to do?
Sit there and cry?
Why am I sick with dem luv flu?
Why do I lie…
TO MYSELF!?

Decorate me with the finest gold
I am young, yet I have a mind of an old, old
Man, why does this pain drive me into insanity?
Can I be free for once in a lifetime?
Fairies dance before my eyes…
Flowers bloom before my eyes…
The grass is greener on the other side…
Stay by my side…don’t subside from my side, my beautiful bride
I’m crucified by these scars on my body…
Everybody stares at me…………….me…………me……….
Put a stop to this sorrow in my heart…
It’s ripping me apart…and I’m drifting in the death cart
Breathe into me your sunlit glee
Breathe into me your bittersweet envy
Breathe into me good traits from the Lord
He struck a chord within me…an accord I can’t afford

Livin’ in a robotic fantasy 
Livin’ in a robotic fantasy
Livin’ in a robotic fantasy
Livin’ in a…
Livin’ in a-a-a-a…
Livin’ in a robotic fantasy…
I speak in rhythm
I speak to them
A sweet talk of non-insanity
I’m sane 
On another lane
I’m sane 
On another lane
I’m sane
On another lane…

Was livin’ my dream
Once in a great while
Was dyin’ in reality
Run just one more mile

*whisper* What am I s’posed to do?
Sit there and cry?
Why am I sick with dem luv flu?
Why do I lie…
TO MYSELF!?

Was livin’ my dream
Once in a great while
Was dyin’ in reality
Run just one more mile

*whisper* What am I s’posed to do?
Sit there and cry?
Why am I sick with dem luv flu?
Why do I lie…
TO MYSELF!?

Drive this pain away from the scars I have on my skin
Shedding awful thoughts of suicide from within

*whisper* I want my own family
To smile with them gladly
Prescribe me happiness from up above
I’m 17 years old and not acting my age…fly away, dear beloved dove
Nervouscited as hell’s fire, coursing inside of me again
Drowning in my tears again…let the journey of life begin
Getting rid of golden….desire….
You dumped me in the trash bin…let the fire
Burn your soul to the ground
Like ashes, you fall without a sound

Livin’ in a robotic fantasy
Livin’ a robotic fantasy
Relivin’ God’s way of life
Forgetting the past’s strife…
It slices me open like a knife

*whisper* What am I s’posed to do?
Sit there and cry?
Why am I sick with dem luv flu?
Why do I lie…
TO MYSELF!?
*whisper* What am I s’posed to do?
Sit there and cry?
Why am I sick with dem luv flu?
Why do I lie? Why do I cry? 
Why do I hide from my obsessions of plenty?
Don’t you see the roaring sea?
Please, God, hear my plea………
My grief-stricken, faithful plea……..
Heal me
Steal away the pain
I was the thief in the night
I was watching the scenes of temporary lust –
The pornography of life turns to dust
My heart yearns for You alone
Don’t gnaw at me like a dog with his bone 

Hold on, dear friend
The pain will have its end

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2014


Long Poems