Long poem by
T Wignesan | Details |
Unquotable quotes: Fat People – XXIX
(I know this piece sounds mean and cruel but as every single parent must have experienced, this is also the expression of utter exasperation, and perhaps there’s also the slightest hint of an iota of necessary truth in it after all. No offence meant to those who may feel hurt. If you can laugh at yourself, you are well on the way to a cure, even if what you read is of very bad taste.)
The gravest danger facing mankind is NOT the Rio Olympics, NOT the greenhouse effect, NOT the nuclear arms race, NOT the organized immigrant or refugee terror attacks, NOT asteroids and meteorites slamming down on us, NOR the War of terrestrial gods coming to a head after three thousand years, but – you guessed it – HUMAN FAT, in other words, GLUTTONY!
Be it deemed of utmost importance that LAWS be so enacted by common consent among nations, and approved by the United Nations’ General Assembly, that whenever and wherever countries are stricken by widespread famine due to – or not – over-eating by over-sized people that these latter ought and should be slaughtered to feed the starving masses.
And should this extraordinary measure not suffice to relieve the emergency, then other nations being likewise depleted by the self-same variety of culprits in their midst should come to the aid of the afore-mentioned stricken country by dispatching plane and ship-loads of their own excess fat at the first drop of the hat. (Here, my own donation to the cause: a fifty-odd excess-weight progeny who can eat anyone out of house and home.)
Be it hereby known that it would be cheaper and easier for any nation to balance its payments if the State in question passes laws to put behind bars all who are oversized on the assumption, for once in there, they can be put on a starvation diet and forced to work to pay off their keep and chow, and this for the betterment of the human race at large.
There’s no crime more bloody or unseemly than the very act of becoming fat: watch the glutton eat and you’ll want to commit a capital crime.
The glutton will willingly forego sex to stuff himself in bed.
Chew, chew, chew your food, gently chew your meat; merrily, merrily keep adding to your rude seat!
Oh! How easy it is to say the fat man or woman is the victim of depression!
True, do them a favour and save them from themselves - by force!
What the future portends for them:
Imagine a future Olympics with fat athletes, even if it will attract more spectators for obvious reasons: the marathon might take four years to complete, if at all.
The Tour de France will have to be scrapped for no velo/bicycle will withstand the crush of the first downhill carambolage.
Restaurants in the near future will carry sign-boards saying: “Dogs and Fat People Please Take to Your Heels!”
All cars, buses, trains and planes will be equipped with single seats - half the size of those manufactured now.
The entrances to public lavatories will be reduced to half their present size for the specific purpose of preventing fat people from entering these facilities.
Fines for defecating in public places will be tripled or quadrupled.
The manufacture of clothing beyond the small-medium or X-size will be definitely banned.
Fat people who normally take up 90% of the walking space on pavements and sidewalks will be prohibited from wearing shoes and slippers.
Prostitutes will make fat people pay a whopping supplement equal to more than three or four times the usual fee.
The sale of chocolates and potato chips to fat people will be limited to one bar and one sachet once in a blue moon.
Travel agencies will be instructed to put fat people in the front of the plane’s seating arrangements to facilitate the de-capitation of the air-craft during the landing process.
No over-sized person will be allowed to present himself or herself for elective office at any level of government.
Beaches, spars and swimming pools will be out-of-bounds to over-sized people.
The fire-brigade and the emergency health services will be authorised to refuse first-aid to over-sized people struck down by a stroke or heart failure.
No over-sized person found in bed with or without another occupant in a nonplussed state will be given a burial according to his religious rites: he or they will be summarily immolated in that very bed without further ado.
Furthermore, at the rate populations all over the world grow increasingly fat, sooner rather than later even the porn industry will go fart: one would need to fart vigorously to locate the apertures in concealed flabs and folds of pits!
And, finally, to balance the weighing-machine, all manufacturers who grow fat on the weight-accumulating produce, such as, sweets, cakes, greasy meat, potato chips and the like that they churn out indifferently should be made to gorge themselves with their own merde!
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016
Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2016
Long poem by
David Meade | Details |
Our first awareness
falling through time
through blood-rain, pure white snow, green vegetation
down into deep earth
Energy flowing-up through our pod
each day we grew bigger
snug together with brothers and sisters
bursting our little cozy shell
then one day
a father and daughter
plucked us from the vine
stripped – we lay bare upon a tray
disorientated and tender but alive
a life force deep inside us
our skin soft but hardening
then sleep . . . waiting for the one
Daddy!! Come see the beans
They changed colors
I see brown ones with white specks
Yellow with black dots
Orange with blue stripes
But wait . . . there are three larger beans that seem to glow and vibrate
one is blood-red
another . . . brilliant white
the last . . . forest green
What does this mean daddy?
Is it evil?
No my sweet darling
These are special beans
Descended from an ancient garden long ago . . .
no longer of this world
It was a place of love and light
No death but a deep communion between mother earth and us
The three beans are: Peace, Purity, Prosperity
These beans will feed a starving world
Bring healing to the hurting
Laughter to the downtrodden
Hope to the desolate
Love to the unloved
Life to the dead
These beans hold deep magic
How do they work Daddy?
a worthy woman is chosen
who is humble of heart
strong in spirit
wise in love
Who is this lady?
the magic beans choose
they only appear to the one female
you, my darling . . . you are the one
Me? I am only a girl
I have none of these things . . .
the beans see deep within a soul
they never lie
they have chosen you
together you will change the world!
Daddy, I am scared . . .
I am shaking
I am not worthy
breathe deeply, close your eyes
put the beans in your mouth
Daddy, I taste sweetness
Molasses, ginger, caramel . . . now chocolate
I see visions upon the wind
Blood, wars, rage, yelling . . . unbearable things
yes, darling the evil is strong here
let the blood from the red bean flow
let it mingle with your love
it will defeat this evil and bring
healing and forgiveness . . . peace
The white bean is singing with my voice – Daddy!
Sweet is her song
I see merriment, laugher, dancing . . .
People hugging and holding hands
My tears are falling
Filling rivers with waters of light, love and purity
Joy reverberates from mountains peaks
From my open lips runs rich green sap
Deep does the earth drink
Big drafts of life and love
I see fields flowing with
Cream, honey, and wine
Trees waving to the sun
The earth is rejoicing
I see beans being planted
In a garden
A man and a little girl
yes, my Little One, soar now
fill the world with your love
fill the wind with your song
Such is the magic of these colored beans
Copyright © David Meade | Year Posted 2015
Long poem by
cherl dunn | Details |
I’ve dreamt of mountains of rocky rode ice cream, dappled with candy
Kisses of purity sprinkled on top, hot steaming fudge pouring from heaven
On high, cascading as if an ocean of water streaming downwards onto my
Fantasy world of pleasure unleashed, behold chocolate dreaming, good to
The last drooling mouthful!
Give me illusions of M&M’S, delusions of chocolate covered mints extra thin,
I’m tasting that sugar rush, and thinking unto myself as a woman who needs
The company of men, after the discovery of this magnificent sinful delicious,
Bitter to the sweet, farewell to heartache, its comforts fantasy food,
So indulge me if you please!
Who needs a brilliant rose covered garden, I’ll grow strawberries fields instead,
And allow the fountains to spill over them, with gallons of melted dark chocolate,
Wow as a poet now I’m really getting into this now, so let me become a farmer
Of gluttony, excess and poundage’s expanded flesh, I’ll watch an exercise video
Tomorrow morning, when I awake from my chocolate dreaming!
Gum drops, and jelly beans don’t bring the same pleasures joy you see,
Ask any Jane or Jo Ann of the female variety, and she’ll answer you just
With the same response, give me chocolate or give me nothing, I’m a
Heart shaped valentine all year round my gentlemen friend!
Low fat to the none fat, leave us unhealthy people alone, we know what
Tastes good to us, forget that unflavored rice cake, I’d prefer the double
Fudge rippled round cake with extra creamy frosting on top, that’s
A true woman’s reality fella, get the drift if you want a happy misses,
Now fancy cards of devotion with words of poetry may make a lady
Weak at the knees, but give that gal a torte made of layers of chocolate
Deliverance, and all be forgiven if you forget a certain holiday of importance,
Just throwing that one out there for future reference, gentlemen take a note
From a voice of experience, chocolate rules a woman’s universe!
Rock me to the boiling point of melted joyous over tones, I’m in the kitchen
Of Hersey’s dream world, almonds to the almond joy, chips ahoy all
Aboard let’s set sail to that factory beyond pleasures horizon!
Oh ginger bread man run, run, as fast as you can, but just remember
I’m not chasing thee old fellow, I’m too busy getting my hands caught
In grannies’ old cookie jar, she after all makes the best chocolate chip
Cookies ever invented, I’m still trying to get that elderly lady’s secret
Caramel covered apples are GREAT for a seasonal treat, but when I’m
In celebrations festive mood, I’m looking for the sweetness of a woman’s
Chose preferred, wondrous miracle first discovered by nuns whom indulged
Themselves, until an evil corrupt establishment shut them down, thank God
These men of the cloth saw the light at the end, right ladies!
So tonight as I lay me down to sleep, I’ll know what words are to be said,
Thank you for the brilliance of that cocoa bean, it is the best sinful indulgence
Not listed in the ten commandments to be broken, I’m in their lord,
Dreaming that chocolate dream forever, and man it’s a tasty illusionary
Fantasy to behold!
BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN
Copyright © cherl dunn | Year Posted 2016
Long poem by
Sarai Romani | Details |
So long I thought my trust was gone
withered in a vase that sat
unwatered neglected posterity's memory
pressed and ordered flat
I suppose some slight yet weak desire
believed that someday still
I'd find one soul who's promise transpired
while building false hopes unskilled
For trust is like a pillow
flipped to the cooler side
It's the hand that touches your shoulder gently
when you let down your guard to cry
It's the feeling when your turned around
lost in the land of strange
the hand that reaches leading the way
to familiar surroundings in exchange
It's the peace in knowing no matter what's wrong
you needn't look far or wonder how long
your help will come from day to day
leaning on the one who finds a way
There's a trust in a dreamer
who's so much like you
when "soon" emerges all too slowly
two with the same dream can make it come true
This is the trust proven not wooed
so much alike you needn't explain
they knew your thoughts without having to say
for the look in your eyes gave it away
Flattery with all it's tantalizing charm
sounds sweet like honey going down
but only as fulfilling as a country farm
in a picture with a frame going round
In this o'l world when "with you in spirit"
is the saying most commonly known...
here I stand with you hand in hand
is the proof your not alone
Trust did not come easy for me
so hard to build so easy to break
all the hidden agendas I feared
the slow to give and quick to take
But on the day we first did speak
of promises given or made
you said your arms my safest place
by what you do not what you say
For that ONE key was ever lacking
the door love enters at the start
for all enchantment love can bring
trust is what opens the FOREVER in my heart
As I think of these diamonds on my finger
sparkles halo the chocolate center stone
the thought that never leaves my heart
is the lifetime I felt so alone
A ring that tells the story
of a beauties life in the dark
surrounded now by clarity
of the trust that owns my heart
Trust is the love I never knew
you'll live for me, I'll die for you
with tux and gown, yes and boots
in the life we've made and say "I Do"
Never again to live in wonder
if dreams will ever come true
there's no joy surpassing you see
then living a dream too long overdue
In quiet reflection of all that's been
the room you gave my heart to know
the freedom you gave then gave again
the seed you planted then watched it grow
A dreaming tree you knew in time
would bear the fruit of love
a love that took forever to find
nourished in the soil of trust
Copyright © Sarai Romani | Year Posted 2014
Long poem by
Trash Boat | Details |
I like to eat stuff
I'm not very buff
I think i'm pretty tough
My doctor says my health is pretty rough
My girlfriends name is muff
I hate her
She always calls me fat
Even though her face looks like a bat
My mom says i'm obese
I'm cheating on my girl with Denise
Shes pretty fat too
She likes mario and she hate the boo
Shes so fat you'd think she would moo
She even look like a cow
She doesn't have a left eyebrow
So you can say my life is pretty bad
My friends make me mad
You can say i'm pretty fat
But i love to eat cats
Its nothing personal
I just think its pretty cool
On pokemon i like to duel
Eating is my number one rule
So you can say i'm pretty fat
But i can say that you look like a rat
So watch what you say
Because i will make you pay
I like fishing on the bay
because i was so fat that i broke the deck
I almost broke my neck
I think i need to go on more healthy
My family is pretty wealthy
They eat a lot of butter
They like to use meat cutters
On my dogs
I broke my window with a log
I like singing songs
But i hate using bongs
I'm not like cheech and chong
Some say i got it all wrong
But i say they are a bunch of ding dongs
Most people hate me
I keep loosing my house key
In school i had straight D's
I'm not very smart
And i like to fart
I like to play mario kart
I tried playing darts
Most people say i'm a tart
Im a pretty fat man
I ate so much at mcdonalds that i'm banned
My diabetes is pretty high
I think I might cry
Doc said i might die
I just began to sigh
I began to cry
This isn't fair
I went and fought a bear
It didn't turn out good
I was going to win,well i thought i would
I was rushed to the hospital
I own a lot of cattle
I go out there and shoot one every year
I alway eat stuff with beer
But eh doctors would give me any
I was watching forest gump, his friends name was jennie
I need to loose some weight
But I'm at burger king so it'll have to wait
I need a bag of chips
But i need some dip
I wish I had a job
But I like to hang with my friend bob
Hes pretty dumb
Hes big bum
He owns a hen
He likes dating men
I need to stop hanging with him
Hes is a sin
But i don't want to be mean
I ate a baked bean
It tasted bad
It was pretty rad
I found it on the toilet
Spongebob said i soiled it
For christmas i want a baseball kit
But i spent all my money on food
People say i'm rude
But im not in the freaking mood
When i used to perform at concerts they always boo'd
I hate my life
I also hate my wife
I stabbed my arm with a knife
It hurt pretty bad
Im pretty fat
Copyright © Trash Boat | Year Posted 2015
Long poem by
Andrea Dietrich | Details |
I am Andy; I love candy. I sell candy too.
Come and see the many candies that I have for you.
You can buy some chocolate in boxes or in bars.
Snickers is the very best. Here is one from Mars!
You can buy a Baby Ruth or a Milky Way.
Try a Pay Day. Here’s a Kit Kat and some Toffifay.
Don’t forget Three Musketeers, GooGoo Clusters, and
Rocky Road, Butterfingers, and 100 Grand.
You might like some Hershey kisses or a Nestles Crunch.
Buy some chocolate for your breakfast. Buy some for your lunch.
Try Mallow Cups and Almond Joy, and if you’ve got the blues,
buy Toblerone or Milk Duds or famous Charleston Chews.
Everyone loves M & M’s and Reece’s Pieces too.
I am sure I’ve got the perfect chocolate here for you!
Here is one that has a malted middle. It’s called Whopper.
Jawbreakers are hard to bite. Have you tried Gobstopper?
Get some Dots or Junior Mints, Rolos or Big Cherry.
Get Goobers for your brother and Nerds for guys named Barry.
Get Airheads for your sister and Bull’s Eye for your dame.
If you know a Mary Jane, one candy’s got HER name.
Many candies come in different flavors. You might like
Skittles, Laffy Taffy, famous Mike & Ike,
Jelly Bellies, Sour Patch Kids, Sweethearts, and Starburst.
Drink them down with juice-filled Nik-L-Nips to quench your thirst!
Here are Smarties for your parties, and if you desire,
you can buy some Red Hots and feel your mouth on fire!
Bottle Caps taste just like pop; root beer ones are yummy.
And of course, I’ve got some Bears and squiggly Worms, both Gummy.
Some Bit o’ Honey for your money? Everybody licks
Sugar Daddys, Tootsie Pops and powdered Pixie Stix.
I love Zotz with tangy burst and Pez’s cartoon head.
Pop each Pez while on your couch or when you’re tucked in bed!
I’ve got Jolly Ranchers, even Candy cigarettes,
Razzles, Spree, Circus Peanuts, Chiko- Sticks and let’s
not forget exploding Pop Rocks and my Swedish Fish!
Try out Necco Wafers and my favorite: LICORICE.
You can have it Good n’ Plenty or as a Red Vine.
Eat Black Whips or Twizzlers. Any Flavor is divine.
I am Andy. I love candy. Who could want for more?
Any candy that you want, you’ll find it in my store!
(I got carried away and decided to do a tribute to all the
many candies I have adored or heard about through my lifetime!
Don't know if the poem ended up being much like Dr. Seuss, but I
sure enjoyed the inspiration. Wouldn't it be fantastic if we could
have a huge store that sold all the candies of our world!?)
For Gwen's Dr. Seuss Contest
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2012
Long poem by
Abraham Shaw | Details |
I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free
Because the burden of slavery is no longer on me
I've seen the thunder and the rain
But like a plant outside, only growth I've gained
Stopped by the police, he just wanted to see
What a black man was doing in a Grand Marquis
Was reaching for my insurance, he said it was a gun
Just a book about black man's struggle he had overcome
But see, he thought I was scared and wanted to hide
But I sat in my driver's seat with all of my pride
He couldn't get me mentally, so he drove away
Yeah I' black, and my car came from a mom who would pray
See these statistics say black males just fight, kill and fail
Do a poll on me, guarantee you'll change ideals of a black male
See you think my emotions are bursting at the seams
But I'm not an idealist, I'm a realist with dreams
My intelligence is leaving you scared, putting you in fear
Yeah I said it, didn't Tyson your ear so I know you could hear
The past is the past, back then they'd have to fight
But I don't have to cause I was born with rights
America loves to call black dads deadbeats
But can't acknowledge the ones finding their kids food to eat
My black mama did it on her own and never had to steal
And made sure me and my sister always had a meal
The first male in my family to go to college for a degree
Yeah look passed the nappy hair and beard before analyzing me
Been passing racial slurs generation to generation, it's time for an interference
Cause I'm not a colored man, I'm a man with a different appearance
Yeah Dr. King fought for me and other blacks
But he's gone now, so I don't need his actions on my back
Don't read me wrong, I'm thankful for what he did
But integration is wide open and segregation has a closed lid
These old racists need to go and plead the fifth
So that future kids can see racism as just a myth
Let this grudge end and just live your life
Cause you're only stabbing the Constitution with a knife
Thank you for the slurs, lynchings and KKK
Cause now you're all too tired to block the future so get out of our way
My father in heaven made me, so I was meant to black
He instilled wisdom in me, while you're intelligence slacks
So please tell me what burden do I have to bear
Success is my future and now you're in a scare
My light beams bright as the sun, you're unlit
Struggles are done, I'm hear to stay so deal with it
Copyright © Abraham Shaw | Year Posted 2013
Long poem by
kabuteng P.iNk k. | Details |
How do people do it?
For that matter, how do I pull it off?
Sitting in front of the computer for so many hours,
body compressed into a computer chair.
Feel a whole decade older than I actually am-
Eyes all dried out
as I get up from the chair
with a cramped neck,
my back temporarily doubled over
until my muscles warm up and loosen a little.
Tired, I slink back into my err-NO-Go-meek (ergonomic?!) chair
I check my butt...wiggle a bit...
Damn. Still spacious?? I want to feel SNUG!
So I sink my teeth into 4 inches of
Chunky Hunky Mega Chocolate Cocoa Cuckoo Overload Bar
Mmmm, this will go straight to my ass...
...there, it finally happened....officially lodged into the computer chair-
knew better than to eat so much chocolate while sitting for hours.
Too embarrassed to call an emergency crew,
I will have to wheel around the house, stuck in this chair,
until enough calories have burned away,
enabling me to dislodge these chocolaty buttocks
and taste some upright, biped freedom again.
Figured I could start losing those calories
by going on a mouse clicking frenzy
Flexing my pointer finger, I start clicking away
Click....click...click...'til a tic in my eye develops
Yup, don't care what I'm clicking on,
as long as that staccato beat resonates in my ears...
fingertips sweating, I go into a trance-
fall asleep at the keyboard,
image of the screen imprinted on my retinas,
dreaming about clicking the mouse.
Fast clicks, slow clicks, double and triple-clicks!
Many hours afterwards,
the sound is still trapped in my brain,
slowly driving me completely insane-
*click* *click, click* *clickety-click*
How do people do it?
For that matter, how do I pull it off?
Sitting in front of the computer for hours on end...
My good ol' mouse answered that for me
It rolled over my arm,
massaged me on my back and shoulders,
taking out the knots in the process
and headed straight to my butt, just wedged itself in, snuggled there
*click!* *click* *Clickety-clickkk!*
my butt cheeks were now doing the clicking
This is beyond me, never knew I could do that!
Pain shoots up my thighs--going higher
Uggh. Butt cramps!
Shaking my head, I reach for the mouse,
instead, my fingers touch something soft, sticky...brown
My butt is glued to my chair with chocolate.
-- well I sure enjoyed writing this one with Chris ;)
Copyright © kabuteng P.iNk k. | Year Posted 2011
Long poem by
Megan Edmonds | Details |
And it was there. Looking me in the eye, “I shall born you.” I was overcome with
Before I was born I died. I was one with everything. I was more alive then, then I
Children seem so simple. Children seem so free. Why is life so hard. Maybe the
simple one is me.
Deep cuts in my heart. A boy that I love with all of me. I might’ve been invisible
because he always walked by.
Enough of this! I hate it all. I gathered myself and left my heart behind.
Falling down the tubes. Drifting though life. No friends, no family. I. Can’t. Breath.
Gaining momentum. Losing myself.
Hot under my skin. It’s getting tighter. Wanting to rip through it.
I, am, not, real.
Just between us. Just between us two. I used to be everything.
Killing gives life. I want to give my life to you.
Love exists only as water. My heart is dry.
Maybe I’m your dream. Maybe you are mine. Maybe neither of us carry weight.
Maybe both of us have died.
No, you never gave me a drop.
O I cry. I cry for you. I cry I cry I cry I cry for you.
Plenty of times I wonder how long my sentence is.
Quiere un vaso de dulce sangre. Dibuja un corazon dentro de mi cuerpo. Con
esto corazon agujero, bebe mi vida.
Run away from what you’ve heard. Leave and write your own truths. They say He.
He does not exist. It tells me so.
Say what’s on my mind? Ultimate indulgences; eating meat and having sex. A
man is meat. Chocolate is sex. A Chocolate man is the only heaven that will ever
exist. Next to Him.
Telling you about my life is wasting the time I have to live it. If you’re meant for me
you’ll just know.
Un knowledged people need to stop giving the gift of life and start giving the gift
Very little patience do I have for those with no words. I’ll look for the person who
stole them from you.
Will you be the one that I can hold for now? Do you have a sweet heart, do you
have soft soul?. Will you be the the love that my ego drinks?
Xoxo hugs and kisses. Hugs and kisses. Let me touch your skin, help me miss
You’re looking inside me. Like it used to.
Zero words writing in my head. Where do my thoughts go? They go on this page.
This page of my life.
Copyright © Megan Edmonds | Year Posted 2006
Long poem by
salamandra Gabija | Details |
Silence spoke to me when i was feeling very, very small
Just another particle of dust, i felt weak and vulnerable
Multiplying theater silence did not inflict violence while
inner lightning bolts changed to rivers
and their waterfalls replaced thunder
Silence!.. Her language beyond words
made me a tiny seed, ready to sprout
from subconscious ground above the
complex landscape of interpretations
Before coming here i ate all black and white chocolates
but i couldn't learn from them how to be black & white
Excess of sweetness did not turned me into sweet but
bitter taste temporarily comforted metaphysical pains
Cured before starting the game with possible winning
i became extra chess piece on square without scenery
Square with no color and no side to stand for, a square
to stand for yourself without shield or weapon to wield
to rethink sediments of before time
to refeel live emotional frequencies
to realize the price of highest goals
to restart, erasing errors, to repair..
reincarnate with variety new roles
Not too quickly, not to quit but play free from all fears
Barefoot musical instrument, constantly conscious event
i was, and i wasn't anymore
distant and meaningful, penetrating volume sound, it
reminded that outside people – they follow the Time
Melodious clock tower bells created sonorous chimes
i didn't counted whether it was 1 or eleven, whatever!
Here, only heartbeat matters
and seconds surpasses hours
seconds fell in silence like drops, touching all surfaces
Out of wood manifested good girls and boys of flames:
Orange angels who knew nothing of dangers devoured
with prohibited kisses thin covers of faceless identities
revealing 32 spirits of chess pieces that nobody misses
Unofficially dead Black & White turned into same ashes
With no shame ashes covered their invisible nakedness
Deep within i inhaled the smoke, absorbing experience
collected both in fierce battles and peaceful reflections
to be continued...
Copyright © salamandra Gabija | Year Posted 2016