Dirty Limerick Poems

That week was the farmer’s convention
Their ladies at home sought attention
Twas Valentine’s night
Thought I’d do alright
I had quite a naughty intention

The farmer’s young wife caught...

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I once had a buddy named Bob
He was an unbearable slob
I pressed him a suit
And dressed him up cute
He dirtied it quickly, the knob....

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Jack doesn't smile 24/7, sometimes he's a mean old grouch
So Cathie says, “till you're happy again, go sit on the couch!”
He mumbles and sneers
A spoiled...

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Patsy was tattered and torn
Her clothes were all dirty and worn
She was a mess
In her threadless dress
People looked at her in scorn...

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If I go missing, my picture should be posted
on a beer bottle in Jenna's saloon, toasted
by all my loyal friends
A tale that never ends
About the...

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Republicans have a grand cause:
Exonerate all of Trump's flaws
But voters said, "Nix!"
To Trump's dirty tricks
By rejecting his Doctor Oz!...

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Parents give teachers dirty looks
They don't want students reading books
Why flip your lid?
Kids never did!
Its much more fun to learn from crooks!...

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Mating Calls, or, Purdy Please!
Limericks by Michael R. Burch

1.
Nine-thirty? Feeling flirty (and, indeed, a trifle dirty),
I decided to ring prudish Eleanor Purdy ...
When I rang...

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There was an old barfly named Girty,
Her body and breath filthy and dirty,
She'd stink up the place
With no shame on her face 
While she farted...

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 He got down from the train with baggage
Walked out through a dirty soiled passage
His attention was captured
By a bold lettered Placard;
‘KEEP THE TOWN CLEAN’...

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When Dick’s testosterone escalated, 
His balance had to be regulated;
His wife tried tricks she knew,
Until he passed it through -
Dick’s manly ego, hugely deflated. 

May...

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Limericks VIII plus one Lead-In Poem



Updated Advice to Amorous Bachelors
by Michael R. Burch

At six-thirty,
feeling flirty,
I put on the hurdy-gurdy ...

But Ms. Purdy,
all alert-y,
kicked me where...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad...

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Sally wore a silky dress 
Landed in a puddle of mud and grass
 she sled down the slide 
Those the stains she tried to hide
Sally's...

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With limericks better think naughty
Of triple X, not vaguely flirty -
With mind wide open,
With clues clear spoken -
Thus unconditionally dirty.

January 12, 2022...

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