Send Me No Insults When I Die
Send me no insults when I die
couldn't hurt me if you try
Send those insults while I live
so returning fire I can give
Never try to stab me in the back
my third eye is always on track
I once dearly loved a damn good fight
now I rather prefer to just be right
Send not fools to do your dirty work
I despise fools and simply hate jerks
Take your measures like a real man
with blows delivered in upfront stand
Send me no insults when I am dead
cry your woes, kiss my arse instead
My soul at rest , my spirit in the sky
I say piss on you and don't ask why!
Robert L. 05-27 2014
A lucky inspiration.
I just read an email from a bitter enemy.
He declared he would piss on my grave soon enough! A veiled threat
(possibly) .. I laugh at and now write this little tribute to
the guy's stupidity.
Save Your Lousy Self
Save your pity for a fool that is not witty
save your sorrow for a jerk with no tomorrow
Save your scorn for your future unborn
save your smartass for another dumbass
Save your lies for your coming black eyes
save your taste for your own stupid waste
Save your frown for another silly clown
save your next scam for your next big ham
Save your mistakes for your jump in the lake
save your life for terrible and massive strife!
Save your love for next disease you can't get rid of
save your mess for your next boatload of stress
Save your speech for your next loud screech
save your help for your next born welp
Save your cries for your next false guise
save your stand for your next super lousy band
Save your gasps for your next futile grasps
save your retreat for your next huge defeat
Save your fall for your next crash into the wall
save your pain for your next car wreck in the rain!
An exercise in "saving" for frugal people that are lousy scoundrels!!
I wrote this with a fool I know from my wild young days in mind...
A little slam for fun.....
I was at my favourite restaurant and had a lovely meal
If I finished all my food then a pudding was the deal
I’d relished every morsel and was pleased as a Cheshire cat
The dessert menu was on its way, Oh I couldn’t wait for that
The waitress bought the menus and I rubbed my hands with glee
Oh sticky toffee pudding, now that’s the one for me
She came to take the order – we had waited as you do
She finally turned to me and said ‘oh Madam what can I get you’
Oh stiffy cockie pudding please was my swift reply
I didn’t realise what I’d said till I saw the tears form in her eye
I went as red as a beetroot and the others began to laugh
At my spoonerism which turned into a complete gaffe
The pudding it came quickly but I couldn’t wait to leave
I choked on every mouthful and my stomach it did heave
So please take notice of my error on this horrendous day
If you order sticky toffee pudding be careful what you say!
N/A in 'random mix' contest
- now submitted to N/A contest by Jerry T Curtis -
There's a person you'd like to curse,
so a voodoo doll, then make first;
Upon that doll now cast a spell,
summoned from the wicked in hell;
Now you need some pins and needles,
bring the pain of pitch forked devils;
The length of pins make sure are long,
the devils pain will be more strong;
The more a needle's thick and round,
will make the pain be more profound;
Must take your victims' lock of hair,
attach it to the doll to wear;
The doll, up high, hold in the air,
Into the doll's eyes, you must stare;
Call the doll by your victims name,
while at the doll, the needle aim;
Curse the name as you stab it in,
twisting and turn it as you grin;
With needles stuck about the head,
each needle deeply did embed;
With legs, all over, stuck with pins,
you now must wish the curse begins.
got a rhythm
A nervous beat
Oh the meet
Should I eat more meat?
Nah focus more on wheat
Better calm down and take a seat.
World coming at you like a big huge fleet
They try and feed you but you don't wanna eat
I don't like the taste of there beets
I'd rather give myself some tasty treats
Oh wall street
I ain't gonna eat
Get off my bicycle seat
Filthy ol' wall street smelling like your grandma's toilet seat
gonna throw you in some disgusting embassy suite
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Will those who want rapture connect
To the one who could resurrect?
Be blessed with vision
Take in what's arisen
A member that’s hard and erect
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou can buy drinks at McD’s for a buck,
Wait, that means thou never want to pay,
Thou went to see a psychic for good luck.
Sometime too hot thou think thou are at clubs,
The ways you act embarrass all thy friends ;
And when we need to drag thou out of pubs,
We hope thy hot behaviour will soon end.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Especially in winter when thou wear;
Shorts too short with legs far too displayed,
“Oh my god, I can see her underwear,”
Thy “summer’s” kind of ratchet after all
Thy friends will wait until you turn to fall.
DON'T STARE AT ME BECAUSE OF MY SKIN
THAT'S RUDE OF YOU TO DO
DON'T JUDGE ME BECAUSE OF MY SPEECH
THAT'S RUDE OF YOU
YOU HEAR THE WAY I TALK
I KNOW I USE SLANG
BUT EVERY WORD YOU SAY
I CAN SHORTEN IT UP AND IT MEANS THE SAME
LITTLE BOY FROM THE PROJECTS
THOSE PROJECTS I DON'T REGRET
THEY TAUGHT ME COMMON SENSE
WHEN MOM COULDN'T WATCH MY BACK
BUT MOM DID WATCH MY BACK
EVERY TIME I WAS UNDER ATTACK
BY THE NEIGHBORS THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS
SHE TOLD ME TO FIGHT BACK
SO I DID
I CAUGHT THEM ONE BY ONE
AND STARTED DECREASING THEIR ARMY
BEAT THEM UP SO BAD THAT THEY HAD TO SAY SORRY
BUT NO JOY CAME FROM THIS
JUST A DISCUSSED THOUGHT
EVEN THEIR MOM TOLD US
"YOU'RE BASICALLY FAMILY"
YA'LL SHOULDN'T HAVE FOUGHT
TO ME THAT WAS A LESSON TAUGHT
WITH THE EDUCATION I'VE ACQUIRED
DOES THIS WORLD STILL SEE ME AS A HOOD BOY
OR A YOUNG GENTLEMAN?
THEY SEE ME AS NETHER
EVEN THOUGH I COULD BECOME A GREAT PHILOSOPHER OR PREACHER
I'M STILL GETTING TOLD THAT BLACK PEOPLE CAN'T BE TEACHERS
WORDS LIKE THAT ARE POISON
I CALL IT SPITTING ETHER
CHEMICALLY DESTROYING THE MIND OF A STRONG BLACK MAN
AND YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN
BECAUSE I'M NOT BREAKING DOWN EITHER
I AM MY OWN EMPIRE
BREAKING YOU PEOPLE DOWN UNTIL YOU GET TIRED
EXHAUSTION IS NOT A FEELING
IT PLAYS WITH YOUR MIND
BECAUSE I KNOW I WONT SLEEP
UNTIL THIS WORLD IS MINE
SO WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT THE PROJECT BOY
THAT YOU STARE AT AND TALK ABOUT?
OH WAIT. AM I STILL CONSIDERED A PROJECT BOY EVEN THOUGH I MOVED OUT?
MOTHER GOT A GREAT JOB AN WE MOVED INTO A NEW HOUSE
DOES THAT MARK THE PROJECT BOY OUT?
I DOUBT IT BECAUSE YOU STILL RUN YOUR MOUTH
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER
BECAUSE I DON'T HEAR ANYMORE WORDS COMING OUT YOUR MOUTH
SO TREAT YOUR WORD LIKE BIRDS AND LET THEM FLY SOUTH
TO ME I'M WAY BETTER THAN THE NEXT MAN
BECAUSE I'M THE BEST MAN
LIKE A WEDDING FOR MY BROTHER
AND HIM ASKING ME TO BE THE BEST MAN
BECAUSE I'M A RISING STAR
AND FOR MY FUTURE WIFE
I'M BUILDING ME TO BE THE BEST MAN
AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME THE BEST MAN
Lonnie is a real creep.
He drives a beat up jeep.
He robbed a preacher’s son.
Now he is on the run.
He is in doo-doo real deep.
Girls, if you ever find a man of great persistence
Listen to your ******, and say NO! with adequate resistance
You see chicks, when a dude gets a hard dick
If it's dirty, it can make you super sick
Painful pisses and cloudy urine will follow suit
All because Dirty Dick Man wanted to discharge his root
So, ladies, beware...there are diseases out there
No Dick gets serviced until it's clean and faire
Run, scream, shout, "Spank your ****ing monkey!"
Please, I beg of you, do as I now propose
Keep your ****** sparkling clean-never let it decompose.