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Best Limerick Poems

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Much More To Explore by Ellison, Jack
Groggy And Dazed by Ellison, Jack
Gracie and Frankie by Merryman, Kim
Barefoot in the Park by Trestrail, Keith
Annie Our Golden by Ellison, Jack
Pollution Solution by Schneiter, Paul
Rasputin by williams, john
Name Shock by williams, john
Watch Out For Eva by williams, john
Bad News by Laurie, Lindsay

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The Best Limerick Poems

Details | Limerick Poem | |

Destiny Number 5

There was a winsome writer named Andie
who wrote poetry really Jim Dandy
with pencil or pen
she'd write her amens
For our Andie was truly not randy.



9/19/1948

More great poems below...


Details | Limerick Poem | |

SPRING FORWARD

In spring time fresh flowers are rising New lambs in the fields – not surprising In every hedgerow and tree Lush beauty will surround me It’s heaven; there is no disguising 02~16~15 Contest: Spring Forward -Debbie Guzzi Syllables checked 9 9 7 7 9

Details | Limerick Poem | |

To the POETS who broke my heart-A thru Z

~Arthur Vaso~

He danced on hearts and graves
I became his words slave
Romantic a wink,
and I start to think
for me his bleeding heart raves.


~Lyric Man~

You fiddle a melody
that I know not meant for me
I can't help but smile
in romantic denial
your lyrics are my poetry


~Sebastian Aaron Baez~

Tongue like sexual honey
Writing right on the money
but so far away
and there will you stay
because you thought my proposal was funny


~Tim Smith~

All knows we played a game or two,
And you left me right out of the blue
There is no jealousy
coming from me
since I know that your honesty is true


~Adam Hunter~

So close but yet still far
I know just who you are
You're on my list
Yet you resist
Next round, you buy at the bar


~Richard Lamoureux~

Your words are so really real,
Your truth are the real deal
commitment on your finger
made for a real stinger
your a great guy that makes me feel.


Now its time to break all hearts in return
For you all my sweetest men, poetically I burn.
Keep on writing because you rule
and your souls are just dang cool.
Together let us all love laugh and learn! :)
Love you all my soup guys and gals :) Mwah
Happy Valentines day!!

For Contest: A valentine limmerick

Details | Limerick Poem | |

DISAPPOINTMENT

Jan said to Darren one day
Do you fancy a roll in the hay
But to his chagrin
Jan asked 'is it in?'
You’re not quite as big as you say!

Based on the poem' our first meeting on the Isle of Man written by Jadazzle united



10th February 2015

Details | Limerick Poem | |

HE'S SMOKIN'

Sir Henry was playing his flute He also was smoking cheroot But when his attire Was soon caught on fire I’m guessing he’s not so astute! 04~18~15 Contest: Famous Einstein Quotes – John Freeman Albert Einstein Quote ‘The only source of knowledge is experience’ ~awarded 1st place~

More great poems below...


Details | Limerick Poem | |

Finding BigFoot

For BigFoot I searched everywhere.
In all the Northwest, he’s not there!
Then I thought I might know
where a BigFoot might go . . .
so I went where the barbers cut hair!

To fit in and be like the rest
of us humans, he’d look his best.
so I went to each shop
where I thought he might stop
to have hair removed from his chest.

To Hollywood soon I was led.
I’d heard of a man with a head
like a wolf’s, full of hair,
making everyone stare.
What I found was Hugh Jackman instead!

Then a man I could not see too well
crossed my path at a fancy hotel.
When I got a good look,
that was all that it took!
It was furry but small, Steve Carell!

The last guy I saw in that land
of Hollywood stars acted grand.
That guy, very hairy
made Big Foot less scary.
He went by the name Russell Brand.

From Hasselhoff to Bradley Cooper,
some hairy guys are super duper!
I kept at my quest
when to the southwest
I moved, for I’m always a trooper.

I searched high and low, five years more,
but by then, I had grown very poor.
I had always liked shoes,
so thought I would choose
a job in a classy shoe store.

Like Carrie in “Sex in the City,”
I loved my work, and I looked pretty
with swank heels on my feet,
yet I felt incomplete
There was no Mr. Big! Such a pity!

But while working one day without care.
I looked up  Can you guess who was there?
This odd creature so tall
made Shaquille look too small.
And he hardly could hide all his hair!

No fresh smelling flower was he,
but kindly I sensed him to be.
As I stooped down to put
my hand on that Big Foot,
I knew fate had led him to me!

Written by Andrea Dietrich 








Details | Limerick Poem | |

LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN THE SINK

I'm thirsty - I needed a drink There lurking in my kitchen sink Lying flat on his back He’s no longer jet black A hedgehog…now he doesn't stink! 11th April 2015

Details | Limerick Poem | |

Jan - The Giggle Queen



My sister Jan, y'all know who I mean Joined the Soup and became a giggle machine Big laughs galore Leaves us wanting more Giggle Queen of the Soup, brings joy to the scene © Jack Ellison 2015

Details | Limerick Poem | |

Looks Can Be Deceiving

There was a young girl whose silk skin
Was sewn up with some thread and a pin.
     It would drive the men mad,
     That sleek layer she had,
Well, until she took off her silk skin.

By Anne Currin

Details | Limerick Poem | |

Gathering of the Golden Girls - Soup Convention

Four “Golden Girls” seated at a table
Grey streaks our hair, but minds remain stable
     Convention is underway
     Michael has something to say
He opens our meeting with a fable
 
It’s about a tortoise that beats a hare
Some of the “fast writers” begin to glare
     Joyce, Francine and Barbara know
     It takes time for verse to grow
We’re the queens of rewriting; this we swear
 
Iolanda’s introduced to read her book
“Lava of my Soul,” no gobbledygook
     We’re mesmerized by each line
     At the end we toast with wine
Joyce says, “Now those words took some time to cook.”
 
It’s Karen’s turn to read “Silent Whispers”
We see tears falling into John’s whiskers
     “Tears of joy,” Francine exclaims
     For Karen’s Best Seller fame
Applause rings out from grateful listeners
 
After the “meet and greet” it’s nearly dawn
The crowd starts to thin as our comrades yawn
     Joyce, Francine call it a night
     But Barbara still sits upright
We two remain when most others are gone
 
One poet called us “Late Night Cockroaches”
This indignity did not encroach us 
     We call ourselves “LNCs”
     Awake in wee hours with ease
Waiting for our princes to approach us
 
That’s when the James Brothers draw near
Peranteau and Fraser, to make it clear
     With two erotic writers
     LNCs pull “all nighters”
Knowing that we can propose; it’s Leap Year!
 
 
*Entry for Michael’s “A Table of Four” contest
At my table: Carolyn Devonshire
Joyce Johnson
Francine Roberts
Barbara Gorelick
 



Details | Limerick Poem | |

Guessing Games

From the moment we met, he played a game
Started out telling me to guess his name
     And when I asked, “Don?”
     He responded, “Right on!”
This lucky guess led to more of the same

“What do you think I do for a living?”
I hesitated, had some misgivings
     “Steer the space shuttle?”
     Got no rebuttal
So on this roll, I felt I was winning

“Bet you a kiss you don’t know where I live”
My mind was draining faster than a sieve
     “A beachfront villa?”
     (The truth would kill ya)
So many guessing games I now relive

After dating three months, his wife found out
Burst into our love nest, called him a lout
     Eight kids behind her
     All hungry they were
Don Juan he was, but surely no space scout

If you meet a man and he asks you to guess
Take it from me and avoid this distress
     He may be akin
     To Rumpelstiltskin
The anger later is hard to suppress

Now I’ve learned to turn the tables on men
Asking them to “guess” again and again
     My private life hid
     Won’t remove the lid
And I’ve convinced some that MY name’s John Glenn


*Entry for Tracy's "Make Me Giggle" contest

Details | Limerick Poem | |

His funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."

Details | Limerick Poem | |

Rock Paper Scissors

Rock Girl

You are scissors, and all you can do is to cut all those paper hearts through. But I’ve hardened my heart and before you can start to destroy me, I’m going to SMASH you!
(Gosh, PD, they won't even permit the ~sign in the title!)

Details | Limerick Poem | |

Ice Cube Pie

I always wanted two slices of ice cube pie
“You only get one”, was the standard reply.
I don’t know why I did
But since I was a kid
It was my favorite treat on the Fourth of July.

The pastry is known by all our relations
Since the recipe’s passed down for generations.
Every bite you’ll savoir
Exceptional flavor
But remember, don’t settle for imitations

Long ago, my great Aunt tried experiments
By leaving out one of the ingredients.
Once Uncle took a bite 
He stared out in fright
And barely survived that bad experience.

My oldest son, Johnny became quite wise
He grew up like the others, before our eyes.
His passion for confection
Was a gainful connection
When he opened the first ice cube pie franchise.

Soon after that, we made our first million
And played in the sun with friendly Brazilians.
But to our surprise
We saw ice cube pies
On bamboo platters next to our pavilion

Right away we knew this was an infraction
Without delay our family took action.
We found a private eye
Who loved our ice pie
But his research left him broken in traction.

It was apparent to us that that kind of job
Was endorsed by the brutal ice cube pie mob.
But we didn’t frown
Or give up and back down
We were going to prevail; oh, yes siree, Bob!

With a meeting of minds we gathered resources
And then undersigned the following courses.
To make sure our ices
Sold at cut-rate prices
To knock competition off its high horses.

So back at the shop we assembled platoons
To build enough pies to reach to the moons.
And made plenty dough
That allowed us to mow
Down the cube racket’s, knuckle dragging goons.

We now manage an ice cube pie monopoly
Sales started smooth, but then turned choppily.
So we eased the frustration
With another vacation
But guess what we saw in downtown Mexicali?!



Details | Limerick Poem | |

The Oscar Wiener Dog

A dachshund named Oscar was he, which adored trick or treating with me, so I had me some fun when I sewed a cloth bun, for a Halloween weenie he’d be. On his costume I added a trim mustard yellow, but though he’s not slim, he’s no Oscar Mayer, so don’t raise his ire by taking a bite out of him! For the Dachshunds contest of Rob Carmake(oops, that was CarMACK. haha)

Details | Limerick Poem | |

A Stone Age Transport Woe

Wilma cried, “We are going too slow!”
But poor Flintstone could no faster go.
Not because of a flat. 
No, for nothing like that.
It was just Fred had stubbed his big toe!

Written Nov. 14, 2014 
For the Limerick Clean and Clever Contest of Roy Jerden
Yabba Dabba DOO!!!! And Boo Hoo Hoo!!!

Details | Limerick Poem | |

GIMME A BRAKE

A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
        It didn't take long
        to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!

Details | Limerick Poem | |

As Santa Leaves Slab City

Santa hasn’t drunk cocoa tonight,
and he’s not dressed in red trimmed with white.
In blue denim so cool,
he is toasting the Yule
with a drink surely not mixed with Sprite!

Santa’s drink was a little too red,
and I think we have something to dread,
for he’s now in the sky
and he’s flying “too high”
as his sleigh widely veers overhead.

For the East Jesus Contest of Roy Jerden. 
See picture above , which was my inspiration. Can anyone tell me what that green
Thing on the inside of the goblet might be??

* Slab City is a snowbird campsite in the Colorado Desert in southeastern California, used by recreational vehicle owners and squatters from across North America. East Jesus is part of its artistic community.

Details | Limerick Poem | |

HAPPINESS

There once was a young man called Rodger Who's very transfixed with his todger From morning till night He gets his delight Now he shares his bed with his lodger 29 ~12~14

Details | Limerick Poem | |

HERBIE RIDES AGAIN

Two autos both tried to have sex. A pity they both were such wrecks! With great apprehension, One lost its suspension. Old banger sex – oh so complex! 12~21~14 Contest: East Jesus Sponsor: Roy Jerden Checked using how many Syllables 8,8,6,6,8 ~awarded 3rd place~

Details | Limerick Poem | |

The Non-Resolver

I’ve been watching my weight since 14, but with all of the diets I’ve seen, they’ve become a big no-no. This here dieting yo-yo has stopped trying to be super lean! Other problems I’ll change as I go. I don’t need a New Year to say so! Said a wise sailor man: I yam what I yam! Why improve on a good thing - ya know? So the cause of the most bellyaching at this time of the year I’m forsaking. When you know yourself well. . . why then go through such hell! Resolutions I’ll never be making. For the the New Year's Resolution Poetry Contest of Regina Riddle

Details | Limerick Poem | |

Dino

There once lived a gambler named Dino
who was terribly fond of vino.
Since he’d drink and play bad,
and lose all that he had,
he was loved at every casino.

But drunk as a skunk, that guy Dino
wreaked havoc one evening in Reno.
Now his vices he’s licked
after being drop-kicked
by a mafia guy named Gino.

Written June 18, 2011 
For Francine Robert's "Bottle of Wine" Contest

Details | Limerick Poem | |

The Tale of Billy Bob Bunny

When Billy Bob Bunny turned one, his mama said, “Listen up, son. I’m sure you could get away from a net, but beware the guy bearing a gun! If a gun-toting farmer you see, you must hip hop away instantly. If he has good aim, you might end up lame or worse yet, rabbit stew you will be. So do please, Billy Bob, take good care that you don’t end up being the hare that loses his life so Farmer Jack’s wife has a soft rabbit stole she can wear!” But it wasn’t Billy Bob’s habit to listen to his Mama Rabbit. Without using good sense, he hopped over the fence, saw a carrot and started to grab it. Farmer Jack spied that rascal. Oh, my! From a gun, bullets started to fly. When a shot nicked his ear, Billy fell down from fear. Then he heard a small sound like a cry. “Please don’t shoot at the bunny again,” cried the farmer’s sweet daughter, and then Billy could feel her stroking his soft fur, and at night he was placed in a pen. Mama came to the pen and she said, “You are trapped. I’m just glad you’re not dead.” Though no freedom he had, Billy Bob was not sad. “I’m a loved pet,” he said, “and well fed!” The moral of this story is: You can tolerate any condition as long as you are loved and well fed!

Details | Limerick Poem | |

You Don't Know Jack Kangaroo

A struggle ensued at the zoo
when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.
Leo tried to attack,
but Jack fired right back:
"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"

for Linda Marie Bariana's contest: Zany Zoo

Details | Limerick Poem | |

TO THE POET WHO BROKE MY HEART DW

We were ‘married’ on poetry soup I kept my hubby right in the loop I still rue the day That you went away I need to dry my tears and regroup Loved your humour right from the start I miss you with all of my heart Want you to come back Get you in the sack* Then they’ll never tear us apart! * In case you are wondering … Darren and I are simply amazing friends and this is a cheeky line from one of the last mails he sent me in October. I miss you my lovely friend 2nd February 2015 Contest: A Valentine Limerick SKAT A