I do not know?
they end all fight
the bride with no veil
to see with no eyes
why do we despise
as the world does turn
our minds they do churn
thinking too much
my mind loses clutch
and the wall does grow
so high i cannot throw
my words at your mind
they fall short then behind
frustration sets in
as the sun goes to fin
the darkness will win
not i as this is my sin
i will glance with no stare
find the pain that is there
and the wind will be fair
as it carries my prayer
one day you will feel
what i meant to steal
as the darkness will peel
my pain from this real
communicate i cant
i try but its faint
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i cannot regain
i want to show the day
that the sun will remain
as the clouds unite
they don't end all fight
it is i that must cite
it is i that must fight
for only i can prevail
only minds can grow stale
if not used you will trail
if not used you will fail
if not seen its your grail
if not noticed your in hell
i will try to tell all
i must try to not fall
only you will be seen
in my eyes of ever clean
that the tears will one day fall
down my cheek in all glory
as they will be of not pain
but rejoice as i gain
and rejoice we shall reign
to the water of no shame
as i finally can blame
no one else for my rain
and all the world will see
it was i that was freed
it was i with no creed
that was released to bleed
...The sun rose again the next morning
and since then, the days pile up and wait
I'm longing to leave too...maybe I'm gone
hope is dead and life goes on without me
And since then, the days pile up and wait
for a return that I know won't be
Hope is dead and life goes on without me
ignoring the pain of her infinite absence
For a return that I know won't be
I'm longing to leave too...maybe I'm gone Ignoring the pain of her infinite absence
...the sun rose again the next morning
I try to ignore the squirming Hyde within
And, with effort still,
I raise myself for the last traces
of sunshine and fun.
What was left of the day, I savor for me.
As the withering leaves of silence
have perfected the petals of stillness,
Such absence of sound
Never a serenity to the mind.
Disturbing solitude haunts.
Loneliness seems vivid as reality speaks
Even the poignant sadness never parts
Solitary confinement paints an art.
Like the spectator in a thousand theatre plays,
I achingly wait for the final curtains to part.
Then, as always expected -
Left were the
together with the late sunset wind.
Tiny golden flecks
imprinting on the soft white
laces and trims.
Catching shadow images
of the last rays of brilliance,
blending slowly in yellow embers,
forming orange coals,
turning into sunkissed glow
of a sad goodbye.
ever so softly fading
into dullness and cloudless cold.
And as the night falls,
its shadowy self dances
against the moonlit music of silence.
I listen and search still
for what is left.
No traces of the sun
whose magnificence and radiance
had touched the leaves of laughter
during my daytime slumbering; children frolicking,
early had the mind sensing.
And, gone astray were the seeds of kindness
the day had grown.
It seemed they were sown
by someone I wish I had known.
If only I could frolic
where little lads had been early today -
in the meadows,
by the pond,
along the shores,
around friendly trees and smiling flowers,
with the meadowlarks and chirpy games,
I’d give away anything.
Basking in the sun on such a lemony day,
someone sulks to find it's an emotional burn.
If only I could catch the loveliness of the sun,
I'd give away anything.
Just for something this grand.
The mind wills but the heart groans.
A moment of joy and laughter, so fleeting.
Forgot me, gave away the troubles.
Today could be A DAY,
If only, ever so softly, I could catch the sun.
In the void, sipping the zoid,
with mental properties of tripping on the spiral.
Falling down the tail of lions, awkwardly spinning.
With upside down tunnel vision leaking through.
Solidifying all matter that matters,
melting into the walls of your brain.
It tickles all the raindrops dripping in your eyes,
satisfying your desire of a synchronized pattern.
Bleeding purple from the rainbow,
and turning into swirls of diamonds.
Slipping exuberantly beside you; driving you wild.
Where the shadows stop the spirited scream.
Devour yourself into the omniscient grip.
Icy cold finger tips scratch the surface of your divinity,
bringing you closer to the God who whispered in your unborn ear,
situated in your flesh from birth to death.
It embeds itself in the pupil of your eye,
dancing with your spirit and licking your soul.
Black shapes of madness wrapped in chaos and euphoria.
Twinkling and blinking dust of a cloud.
Haze filled skies and blood filled smoke raining from the clouds.
Envisions of clowns and demons laughing at our demise.
Chilling sensations of sickening mannerisms,
mechanisms and mechanics sought out to destroy the tiny creatures.
These creatures running crazy into acceptance of demise.
Deprived of life, scared of death but giving into it's taste.
Taste buds quiver as the taste grows sweeter.
Death, oh death, tell everyone who you really are...
Too long have you been hidden in the shadows you cast,
too long have we rendered your pain.
The world grows sicker as the hairs in my head grey.
I'll never surrender as demons always circle.
Today, begins a new day of our fight.
And I have a good feeling about this day.
Onward, we have united our minds and gathered ourselves within.
Always ready for we accept our fear.
We accept our hate and everything in between.
Accept it all for what it really is.
No amount of doubts will over throw us.
Onward, to peace.
They walked together side by side -
the old man and the boy
on the bridge across the river
They could have walked thus
across the river of life
with its eternal flow
I watched them
and thoughts filled my mind
of the un-bridged gap
between their lives
The old man -
with faltering step
he moves slowly on
His life has been lived
and his house is in order
as he patiently awaits
the call of his maker
What are his thoughts
at this moment
as he moves on?
Are they thoughts of pain and sorrow
over some incident in the past
so difficult to bear
that after all these years
the wound is not yet healed?
Are they of someone he loved as a youth
but lost through folly?
Was she beautiful?
Did her eyes sparkle
like the sunlight
on the water below?
He looks at the water
and nods his head
Or is he thinking of the young one at his side
soon to be plunged into a world
where life rushes madly on?
How shall he fare?
Who will warn him of the pitfalls?
These thoughts plague the old man's mind
and hurt his noble heart
But then he smiles as he remembers
that in his younger days
his eager spirit wanted to taste and feel
the sting of life's joys and sorrows
There is no substitute for experience
for though we know we may be hurt
in love or life
yet we walk on toward the very thing
that may hurt us so
With faces in the window having storms in the night
You gave me promises they gave me pain
When will we ever live to understand this game
Give me shelter from the storm within cause we may never live again
In shattered dreams brought through its timely theme
Many are still wandering alone in the darkness of night
A plate of desire poured out with a creme sauce of desolation
At the mountain top the unique summit has a keen sense of view
Through ardent Spring lingers through a papal elect few
It's sought after portal of death as glue
Shutters through the spark at morn,
Some would even bother to curse the very day they were actually born;
A sought after portal which breathed in death
Yet still marked on its blotted page very much fully intact,
Working too hard can give anyone an instant heart attack
Smoke filled rooms filled up in fetters cry of full forced desolation;
In combersome threats the chief negotiator left,
A fields of dreams coming apart at the seams
A port in storm through emmense pain where through,
Give me shelter from the storm,
Amidst total sadness with stillness we soon learn to reflect
Just as in some twilight sun that has tainted my inner vision
Perhaps its in some one track mind that was fully set on some mission
The certain timely strain on the heart can light its inner spark;
Give me shelter from the storm amidst the sequence of outer pain,
In pain to harm the weary soul in which one can helplessly lose all control
Amidst viable dreams proned in an onslaught filled preminition
The sought after portal to death,
Yet still again marked on a blotted page fully intact
In timeless combersome threats toward their negotiable left
A field of dreams coming apart at its seams
Give me shelter from the storms of life amidst its inner strife
Amidst sadness within stillness will learn to reflect;
Just as in a twilight sun that has tainted my inner vision
Perhaps its in a one track mind that's head out on a mission
That certain spark within a strain on a heart can light a timely spark
Give me shelter from its storm
Very much haunted by an eclipse of the sun
Through a quaint rehearsal in its timeless cue
In distinguishing truth dismissed from its ultimate error
Many will escape into a quadratic motif through that of choice
A world filled still fixed in telling lies within its tormented souls
Broken skulls with fragmentation of vile demise
That quick fix challenge just not to have to deal with reality.
Written August 29, 2013
She could have had my son
As we'd spell our names as one
On scattered ocean shores
Beneath that Indian sun
I loved my ma
And I loved her well
I loved my pa
And that musty smell
I hope to see them some day soon
I hope to see them smiling too
This Earth they left a bit too soon
Much thanks unto the scarlet moon
Some day well all be joined as one
Under scarlet moons and Indian suns
I love my family
How I miss this feeling
Of constant embrace
Awaiting at my feet
So come and pray for rain
To wash away our pain
Before the winter stains
What autumn left to drain
I hope to see them some day soon
I hope to see them smiling too
This Earth they left a bit too soon
Much thanks unto the scarlet moon
Some day well all be joined as one
Under scarlet moons and Indian suns
She threw me the hurtful look, that bleeding-inside feeling
Fell upon me and the whip lashed well
Across those deep soft parts
That quiver within and dare not show themselves.
I nearly snarled, the need to cool pain its transfer was great,
But then the blackness of the moment
Blinded my soul and filled it with Sad,
And whatever inward strength I had deserted me.
Love, replete with sins of omission,
Keeps count of the subtle slights
And stores them in its pantry of poisons
Ready to pour into one another's wounds whenever wretchedness
Brings the bonding close and sharp together.
All the love in the sun is good
Where we want to always be, though we cannot,
For life will not permit this.
The sun casts shadows that follow behind us and threaten;
Better to stand in pairs and face them
To suffer together and learn
Learn to take it all as it comes at us, feel through all the abuse
And grope beyond
To where control depends on us alone
To where no games are played
To where the truth is told plainly, face to face,
To where we love and afflict one another because it is so empty and fearsome
To be alone.
Together we are more than one, less than two, stronger than all.
Lash went the whip and the pain burnt clear
Why such a ritual must be followed is not for reason to sort out
For the Fates have tied our lives together and we must walk as one
With the heart of each in the other's hand,
Knowing love to be a thing of fear and anger and confusion
Quite thoroughly mixed with joy.
So strike out and savor the hurt that flows in the bad times,
That it may teach us what we need to know about the good times,
And those good times tell us what we need to know about ourselves.
My love for you is too great to be put off by pain.
Come along my dear, let's step back into our private world,
Ready to go at it all again.
A Bluto is not that Disney dog
It was when a mewling
that I would scream
Should they wet my body
And then apply cream
Ablutophobia – fear of bathing, washing, or cleaning
Achluo the demon that lurks
In darkened corners
The long toothed life suckers realm
I am scared as the sun dims
It seems to bare my soul
Achluophobia – fear of darkness
Acro what did they do
They called me acrobat
This will not do
I get giddy standing on a matchbox
Please get a net to see me through
Acrophobia – fear of heights
Agora just shut that door
I am staying here forever more
Bring me food put it on the floor
The letter box is just for you
Don’t, Don’t, try to get through
Agoraphobia, Fear of open spaces or of being in public places. Fear of leaving a safe place
Agrap stole my feelings
He caught me unaware
I am now afraid of sex
don’t ask me anymore
It frightens me that’s for sure
Agraphobia – fear of sexual abuse
Agrizoo an angry gorilla I knew
Wild as hell was kept in a cell
As all his kind, even a timid Hind
They scare the crap out of me
Please let them run free
Agrizoophobia – fear of wild animals
A gyro is just what I need
I will fit it to my trusty stead
He will fly straight across that band
A tarmac nasty throughout the land
I cannot face the walk you see
Agyrophobia –fear of crossing the road
Aichmohe got in a hell of a fight
They killed him with a pointed knife
It will come for me just you see
I cannot even mend his cloth
Won’t touch a needle at any cost
Aichmophobia – fear of sharp or pointed objects (such as a needle or knife)
Ailuro he lived next door
The bastard sits on the fence
To me he snarls not a purr
A Persian he is supposed to be
Frightens the *****out of me
Ailurophobia – fear of cats
Algo, Away, I am pain free
This morphine is the best
First day of pain free rest
Been told that it will return
Got some gas, peace I yearn
Algophobia - fear of pain
Andro I’d rather be (android)
I am metal and plastic you see
Electric person not man or woman
That would be so sad
If just a man I would go mad
Androphobia – fear of men
Antho the pologist got the plan
He put concrete throughout the land.
Not one shrub or flower seen
Not one blade of grass green
A flower would make me scream
Anthophobia – fear of flowers
Anthropo was a lonely man
Wouldn’t mix with others so
He lived in a cave, well just a hole
You would see his eyes peeping out
A shaking frame if people were about
Anthropophobia – fear of people or the company of people, a form of social phobia.
Aqua marine or even the wet stuff
Is enough to drive me mad
I stay in when there is rain
Just wait for the sun to shine again
A damp tissue that’s quite enough
Aquaphobia – fear of water. Distinct from Hydrophobia, a scientific property that makes chemicals averse to interaction with water, as well as an archaic name for rabies
Arach no, and know the score
Those creepy creatures on the wall
Send shivers up and down my spine
Six legs and venom to drive you mad
I am running already it is sad.
Arachnophobia – fear of spiders
Astra my name you would think of the stars
My gaze goes up but not that far
To the first cloud there in the sky
If it’s the shape of an anvil I will fly
Fear grips me and I don’t know why
Astraphobia – fear of thunder and lightning
Atychi that was about the size of me
The others would just make fun
I was no good to anyone
A failure of the first degree
Nothing my goal, was all I could see
Atychiphobia – fear of failure
Auto matic I will seek people out
To touch to play as long as they are near
Don’t leave me in this place alone
A singularity is my biggest fear
I will hold anyone you see I care
Autophobia – fear of being alone or isolated
Automat o no it’s not true how could you
An advert that’s telling just lies
Don’t all the others realize
What you say is not true, put it right
It will drive me crazy I’ll keep out of sight
Automatonophobia – fear of anything that falsely represents a sentient being
Aviat o if you think I am going in that
No I am not a scared ***** cat
If we were meant to go fly
Wings we would have from him on high
Fold your machine and put it just so.
Aviophobia, Aviatophobia – fear of flying
Chaeto he was a Greek of old
Bald as a badger so the story is told
But why you say is there no cure
For him to grow some lovely hair
For him it would give such a scare
Chaetophobia – fear of hair
Chemo therapy keep away from me
Chemicals scare me I know they are free
But to have them coursing through my veins
No matter how good they are, and that jar
The fear of everything for what they are
Chemophobia – fear of chemicals
Chirop to or not too so I am told
They stick in your hair best to be bald
Now I find that my nails are made of hair
Chirop is what I fear not chiropodist is that clear!!
Just shave my head and cut my nails dear
Chiroptophobia – fear of bats
Chromo shines bright in my eyes
The fear of all colours I realise
Now I am safe from a troubled day
Into my dark room, I have found my way
Knock when that sun has met its demise
Chromophobia - fear of bright colors
On that cloudy weekend in June
I hear a soft and graceful tune
from the grey bird on the tree
Singing sweet lullabies felt
blessed in the moment
My body tingles of joy at sight
Gazing out through
my open door,
Letting thoughts fly free
Releasing love out into the horizon
Heart filled with emotion came
Grey bird stood playing its tune
for awhile and on the wings of
Then as the rain fell from the
sky the grey bird flew away
I blew a kiss to the clouds and
utterd these simple words of I
Love You father ( who's now in
heaven ) and yet I hope to hear
that grey bird sing again once
more for me
Farewell, love your son
Poem contest for Debbie -referential
Under layers of sheets against the biting coldness of early mist
in between soft, cuddly comfort of my pillows
and an unseen blanket of warmth all over me
An unnamed waves suddenly washed me
and swept me to the unknown abyss of darkness
unknown abyss of lost hopes, dreams and wishes.
My hands are flailing, searching for something to hold on to
hoping for never-ending hope that I will be swept back ashore
for I'm losing, drowning and on the verge of giving up soon.. anytime!
Like any other dreams that I dream't before
Is it worth dreaming for? Or should I wait a little more?
Would it be a dream come true someday? anytime?
I heard a thumping, so loud it brought me back to where I ended up last night
cushioned in the familiar scent of my bed, I'm awake now;
deaf in my own heartbeat, waiting for the sun to cast his light, soon, anytime!
Mind racing in a speed of light, in a morning Sunday rush!
whilst heart is taking it's pace in a leisure Sunday morning walk
distance covered, places conquered, end of the line will be reached anytime soon.
And from where the sun rises, a secret wish was blown into a kiss
all the way up, up against the course of hands of time
may the faith favor the odds and let that wish be granted... anytime soon!
pain breaks loose
business as usual
(a bottle called Aleve)
At night i weep,
in silence i grieve,
how can i sleep?
when it is hard to breath,
During the day i laugh,
with friends i converse,
but the day wont last with the turning of earth,
with dark skies comes heartache,
as the stars flicker and blaze,
there only so much i can take,
of these suffocating days,
when the day starts anew,
and the sun brings the morning light,
i momentarily forget about you,
until the return of night,
when i see the midnight moon,
and feel the stars in the sky,
i close my eyes in this room,
and pray i make it by,
for when the sun is shinning high,
and the heat consumes my fright,
i cant help but wonder why
i must suffer the prison of night
One and only, great sweet dream
Lullaby, my sun beam
Moonlight’s music, sky’s first kiss
Stars and magic, my one bliss
You’re just a little seed; you’ll grow into your skin
And be filled with love from both hearts within
You’re just a tiny seed deep within the soil
I only hope that you didn’t spoil
I dreamt that you grew as tall as a tree
I dreamt that you were always there with me
But dreams don’t always become true
And I have never got to be with you
You’re just a seed; you’ll grow up very strong
I only wish that I wasn’t wrong
You’re just a small lovely seed
In four months you started to bleed
My one and only, hold me very tight
I only wish that everything was right
Lovely infant, dear young dream
Golden daylight, my sun beam
You are the reason that I will always cry
Why did you ever have to say goodbye?
Dying more than ever before
Every time I miss you more
A first child that wasn’t born
Dead, now all I do I mourn
Baby only four months old
A treasure I never got to hold
Big hole in my heart tonight
Yelling “Why didn’t you hold me tight?”
I do not know?
The rain makes me insane
when it hits my window pain
my face makes a frown
when the sun comes around
my brothers aren't here
"where are you"? i can not see.
i thought that my race was free to believe
why aren't we free
why aren't you here
why do i frown when the sun comes around
as the rain starts to stop
my pain starts to drop
my frown starts to smile
then my sun come around
our pain is over
now were free!!!
my race can see new times and believe.....
Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity.
No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me.
Even the brightest sun doesn’t destroy you, you only exist because of me.
All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.
Cresent moon consorts
Met on a hillside, dew-soaked and overgrown
Seducing the sun from sleep.
Before infomercials succumbed to scheduled shows
You were my cartoons and cereal.
Sugary, sitting so close to your screen.
Our skin blowing steam,
Fattening the fog until it fell from the sky.
Delicious and dark the dawn
The day stretched and yawned,
Bluebirds cleared their throats,
Street-cats rubbing eyes,
I held you as you cried.
While responsible citizens were stuck in traffic
You were a full tank of gas and an open road
Dreamy, with your pedal pushed to your floor.
Barren and yellow became our hills
The sun never stops shining.
Not a shadow exists to take solace in
sipping each heaven-sent breeze.
no stars to find my way by
Lost like the moon in the blinding blue heavens
died on a hillside, windswept and thirsty.
Begging the sun to sleep.
Rain rain go away come back another day
Was a song that was trapped in our brain and we always say
But did we really want the rain to go away
Just because we liked the sun we would betray
Some can jump up and shout hooray
But we are selfish and we had our own act of foul play
Rain was the one element that washed the world clean
No matter if you were thirteen or nineteen
Or even somewhere in between
We all had are troubles but when the rain came we were whipped clean
No matter how dirty we may have been the rain cleaned our screen
Thy sun was thy enemy as it kept the pain and anguish there
But thy rain hid thy tears in which we could not bare
Kissing in the rain is something that nothing can compare
Rain rain go away is something we declare
But little did we know the rain was the handyman and would always repair
No matter if you sitting in your rocking chair
Or hugging your favorite teddy bear
The rain always played some part in your love affair
Natural disasters can come at any time
A hurricane to twist your emotions then drown you whole
A tornado so send you on a spiral in which you could never imagine
A flood in which you become to overwhelmed but everything around you
An earthquake to shake your feelings up about the one you so call love
Lightning to strike your relationship and make it come to an end
Yet we sing rain rain go away come back another day
Rain is a calming and peaceful sound that lives on in our ear
We should open our minds until they are clear
We ask the love in our life to go away
And we want the pain to stay
It’s funny how we stand in front of someone and display
The pain we have and still don’t want the clouds to turn grey
We are addicted to pain like cocaine
And it’s something me must pull ourselves from and restrain
Because if we don’t break this chain
We will all wind up going insane
So yall can choose to have the natural disasters and think you will be put at some gain
But I will always choose the rain
Rain rain stay awhile for thou not know what you bring
© Jeremy Fennell
The sun dies and the moon comes to life,....
I lay awake dreaming, what life could be like,....
If I could turn back the hands of time,....
And live life from the beginning with Rhyme....
As tears lay dormant and my cries remain silent,....
My past attacks me with a depression so violent,....
I try and count the stars, but I get lost in my confusion,....
I try to recall good times and end up with an illusion,....
I can’t see what is real and I can’t feel what fake,....
So how do I live when life is too easy to break?....
I laugh, I cry, I stand, I sit, I live, I laugh, I try to forget,....
All the pain but my memories, always insist,....
Push and shove until I give in,....
This demon is to evil, how I can win,....
I lost my heart; I found a block of ice,....
I replaced it so now I shall remain cold for life,....
I try and change but this pain keeps reminding me,....
That no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be free,....
From my past. From this unyielding pain,....
And that I will always live within a storm of constant rain,....
So as the sun dies and the night sky comes to life....
I try and count the stars, with hope that everything will be alright....
I pray that my pain will cease and that my mind will slow down,....
So until it does, I shall live like there is still pleasure to be found....
A smile that never reaches her
A laugh that never reaches her
A hug she cannot feel
A numbness that is everlasting
Numb to the world around her
but not the pain inside
The allure of love and the false
hope it provides
Beckoning to her like the
warmth of a sun rise
Filling her eyes with light, a
change from the sticky dull of
A light that soon fades,
dripping out in the tears she
Her heart flooding with pain,
and drowning in tears
Waiting for the sun rise to
Through the dark night she
Tears of anguish wash away
The sun rises for another day
The smile fake, and
misleading, but it keeps the
To start another day and end
Anxious for the day to last
To end her waking pain, and
kill the darkest night
The lingering bitter taste of
tears as it fades
The smile becoming real
The flood waters draining
The pain being released by a
loving hug, and a waking
Stored away for months like a
Waiting for warmer weather to
warm her soul, and
make her smile warm and real
To make her... her
I do not know?
After the rain goes away,
All bad things have been washed away.
My tears fell with the fallen rain drops
And they will wash away down stream with all the tears
From the sky.
When the rain dries up and
All my pain has withered away with it,
The flowers bloom again and the sun comes back out
And all the joy I have lost has come back into my heart.
After the sun comes out and suns rays are shining,
I feel so lifted and happy once again.
Like all my burdens are gone and I have been set free.
After the rain clouds come,
I feel sadness in my heart again and the pain comes back
Just as before and I feel my eyes start to tear up and water.
After the rain falls,
This cycle will start all over again.
It is never ending and it's the story of my life--
It's how it will always be--
After the rain.
I do not know?
I know the path that we have chose is right for both our lives, but I cant help this pain inside
that nags at me when I remember you and me. The morning dawns and I can see the pale
pink hue of the day to come. The birds they sing and call their mates another day to come
and go, the pain that rises in my heart when I remember u and me is very hard to put to
sleep. It rises with the dawning sun and I just want to turn and run, run from all my hurt
and pain, never will I see you again, to know you hold someone new, someone who, will now
become, the one who shares your hopes and dreams ,while, mine just lay all broken and
gone. Like the day that dawns and turns to black. Like the sun that burns then disappears.
I feel I know the reasons why life with you could never be, but time with you was meant to
be although its hard now to agree that you and me cant ever see the sun that rises in the
sky the moon that takes its place at dusk. I feel you know our souls connect, and in a
different time and place our lives together would combine ….
The golden touch of the end- of- Summer-leaves
along with the coolness of the Summer's rays as they fade into the past
Together bring as saddness as if an old friendship is once again lost
As all my Autumns have been painful as the Summer sun does pass
And friendships die along with the heat of the sun and perhaps
they never were real or would last
My heart dreads another year of cold, ice=like pain and the winds
blowing heavy as my pain begins
Again, as only a reminder of how alone I am ..in my thoughts and my in my life
So, perhaps it is near the end.
A hopelessness surrounds me as each day I wake withj fear
how will i get anyplace or where i want to go
And only the quiet of my sleep , where dreams lead me to places i still know
BGut even then, i wake in pain,my body burns with pain
i try to think of happier days but they too have faded with the sun
to be or not to be is not the question here
but do i want to be a part of another year...
i find no joy in singing or talking on the phone
but find i am playing a part of a person that i don't even know
where have i gone and what have i to show in this dust- coated room?
I do not know?
mud up to my ankles
but the sun is warm....
geese are honking staking their claim
but the sun is warm
dog sits at the lake edge
wondering should he jump in
oh that sun is warm
just a sweatshirt
and some sunglasses
that sun is warm
the pain of winter receeds
like the pain of childbirth
turn your face up
the sun is warm
Fragile bones, aching arms, broken dreams
Speaking flaws, am I to die in shame?
Will you not speak of me good deeds, nor my dry days
Stone me says thee? Hold yourself not, for as your eyes are free of sin?
A dry heat consumes your thirst, and suddenly your bloodcells burst
You speak unclear, and to make matters worse you loose judgment
Yet you rule your tounge over me as if I were not a man of free will
I too have feet that I may walk
A mouth, that I may speak
Eyes that pave the secrets of others, spies they are, I lurk high
A shattered star fell on me
It sang broken bar blues
Sober? Out of the question, who am I to interrogate such mass
Bright as the sun in flames
Life is spelled out right from the firey mass of burning gases
A pain begins to trouble my lower rib
The pain is growing, and I feel the hands of the sun caressing my flesh
Burning flesh is the scent that fills my chambers
And I slept, for I awoke a new body
All was bright-white
Not a single spot of dust, dead skin
I had wings, yet on my feet I went about
I looked down into the world, an angel
A warrior of God, with a sword sharper than the razor of a titanium blade
For my spear was next to my heart
I awoke, next to some odd man, whom claimed he was my way
And I spoke outlloud " Jesus is the way, the only way"
Standing on the lowest point on the earth
With burning heart giving me sensation of hearth
On such a cold dark night
Without a vision of an angel upon my sight
I wonder by here all alone each and every day
Without my heart, my life, passing through my way
Oh my sun has left me never to rise
Leaving me helpless, my life’s a despise
But my love, you are worth all the while
The whole world stops with your single smile
I’m just a admirer nothing more than that
My life’s a cold floor now, you were my mat
By those sweetly spoken words form your lip
My heart runs, your words are always there to keep
Worse than me, my heart’s the one who’s hurt so much
I miss your smile, your voice your silent touch
Every time I dream I miss you
Feels like holding you picture and kiss you
Years have gone but you I haven’t forgotten
Guess how hard it’s to live without a sun
Ask me the pain of that, it’s been ages
That’s the only reason I’m filling blank pages
Rejoice in life is not for me
Pain in heart, happy for others to see
Like the candle burning beside me, my heart burns
Through these veins of mine, your vision runs
It’s so hard to hold the tears filled in the eyes
To search for the sun at night in the skies
To be in dark room full of fears
With songs of depression into my years
It’s so easy to be a girl, loved by all
Unlike boys, never happy in life, always to crawl
Surrounded by the world I’m just a pawn
Without you in my head form dusk to dawn
For as your love I’m out of tear I can’t cry
I’m so young now for me to die
But to die for you, you are really worth it
Still I’m alive, for us to meet
Its not that I can’t die for thee
I can’t live without you in front of me to see
How can I even think of dying?
I’d rather be happy like this, always crying
I’ll wait for you till I make sea of tears
I’ll really wait even if it will take thousand of years
You are really beautiful and always jolly
My dear I’m ugly and always melancholy
You my love, your life’s always a bloom
But my life, oh poor me always a gloom
Without a single picture of you, I wait
Without my heart by my side, my life still a gait
A sad feeling inside my heart, always to born
Life full of pain sorrow and frisson
Sitting on my bed, this precious time I kill
The empty blank pages on copy is what I fill
Life’s what you decide, not of your fate
Life's not full of love it's full of hate
The sun is shining
Its a beautiful day
Sometimes I have to pray
For the sun to shine on me
Instead of the shade
For darkness loves to cover the heart
Seems like i can't get a headstand
Pride greed and fear
Is were i started to steer
Family friends and goals
Are thrown in the holes
Lost in the distance of who i can't be
Memories i can't allow myself to see
It seems every time i try to stand
There is never a helping hand
For the true ones i had to hold
Turned their backs when i sold my soul
For the destructive path that i now lead
I'm the one who sowed that volatile seed
For this life of pain and misery
I'm a blind man who can't see
The sun shining down on me
For the shade has to stay
Until the day i have the strength to pray
A single string of hope
That i can never see
A fearful past
That i had to lead
5 minutes of clarity
And a moment of serenity
For every second at least one heart seeks
In this world of fear and greed
To be the person they want to be
For no one wants to experience this pain of treachery
The bleeding hearts and the lost souls
All had an obtainable goal
Threw away or taken people don't know
But human judgment is always bestowed
On the liars beggars cheats and thieves
Understand, you can not with out experiencing the deed
The power of choice is what we've been given
Hope, Enlightenment, Love And Peace stay hidden
For the key i hold unlocks this mystery
This mystery of H.E.L.P.
And then the shade of darkness shall go away
The sun shall now forever stay
Enclosed in this box threw the distance of time and space
I shall forever be hidden from the pain of my insecurities
5 minutes of clarity
And a single moment of serenity
Is what i shall have, Finally
The man of the hour;
The beast of the bed;
Incur their delusions;
From the land of the dead.
The faithful the loyal;
The ministering choir;
All morn with such sorrow;
At the pain that transpires.
The pain and regrets;
The scandalous ways;
Beliefs seeming hopeless;
The bad had its day.
Down on the corner;
Bobbing for pills;
Are the quick and the nimble;
And those who are ill.
From sun up to sun down;
And most of the night;
The hustle stays current;
They think they are right.
If you’re filled with the street;
But you know something’s wrong;
When you look to who love's you;
Do you worry they're gone?
I do not know?
The light of the sun will shine down
Hiding all of those little frowns
The rainbow is painting your mask
Illusions are an every day task
The heat of the sun will delude
The greatest minds are its fruit
It helps you become your belief
Your sun is not my relief
I live in dark I can see
Your hate, pain and envy
I thought I just saw you die
In my eyes you’re just another lie
The minute that I step into light
It’s blinding, it’s far too bright
Stop me before I am dead
You’re pushing, killing instead
Please, show mercy on me
Controlling what wants to be free
Just because you cannot see
Doesn’t mean I cannot believe
You’ve killed me
I lived in dark and could see
Your hate, pain and envy
I know you have died
So many times, how much lies?
I crawl back into the dark
Your lies have just hit their mark
Darkness is now the thing that I crave
Anything else is just another grave
Lift me up and surprise
I now feel so high
The mask will fade from my face
I’m free now in every way
You keep trying to pull me from this
Why can’t I be with bliss?