A lonely figure twirls itself, concealed
by blades of wheat as clouds float through the sky.
The form, a boy, looks up from golden field
and sees the clouds as wedges of cream pie.
He hides despair as if it were that wart
beneath his sleeve. A no-fuss, lonesome lad,
he thinks of things most wonderful to thwart
forlornness. . . He rehearses being glad.
Skipping to the thicket, near a brier,
he spies some lovely flowers; standing there
he uses the demeanor of his sire,
pretends to hold a Bible, thumps the air. . .
and preaching to forget-me-nots, the boy
imagines what might be. . . imagines joy.
For Chris' Anything goes!
She’s always drawing mermaids, and they bear
resemblance to their artist, for each one
is but a girl. Dark, wavy, thick, long hair
hides pre-pubescent breasts; Elysian
the islands drawn for all her mermaids seem . . .
so different from her own reality.
The islands that she colors are her dream.
She also yearns to swim the wondrous sea.
She’d have a mermaid’s iridescent tail . . .
No place between two legs to cause her shame!
She’d be a strong free mermaid, but she’s frail,
and so she sketches dreams she cannot claim.
Her mother sees each picture that she’s drawn,
yet fails to see her daughter's joy is gone.
Angels of destiny, sunk in empty eyes so clear,
Angels of destiny, every day your fate so near.
Seldom has your little face been graced with a smile
Nothing strikes you funny as you search the garbage pile.
These angels are babies, little babes without a bed.
Every day their hands held out for just one piece of bread.
Dreams of hoping something, anything would be more fare
Praying maybe someone, anyone might care.
Poor poor angels I would love to give much more,
But I'm too busy keeping up with the guy next door.
I wish he hadn’t bought that new boat down at the bay,
Now I'll have to save to buy a bigger one some day
Angels of destiny sentenced to a life of fears,
Angels of destiny, I will just leave you my tears.
Written by Brenda Meier-Hans
Contest The Poet II
Theme: Leave you my tears
Released and slowly drifting to the earth,
the leaf departs her tree in mournful grace;
though both will live to see another birth,
none same will be returning in her place.
We meet as always in the space between
the branch's bud and parting leaf stem's end;
a tearful eye, a tugging force unseen
does will the laws reverse, gravity bend.
Enhanced though was the nearly naked tree
by springtime's bloom, her fallen trembling love -
released to serve another destiny -
in turn, will be the better than above.
Leaf falls to rest, and in her fading sigh,
she breathes to tree her final sad goodbye.
I dreamed a black; an onyx lake
before the sun’s first dawning rays
its surface marble smooth and makes
no sound without the warmth of day
I saw myself; a ghost it seemed
stripped naked on the grassy floor
beneath the waning moon’s cold beams
just staring at the other shore
From far away a whip-poor-will
called lonely, just a sleepy song
it tickled in the morning chill
and broke the water’s pull – so strong
to slip into that silent space
where never lived a false love’s face
Inside the lonesome garret, all was grey.
He sat there thinking of his broken dreams -
like how he’d planned to be so rich one day,
and yet he’d failed at all his half-baked schemes.
Tormented by the itch that went unscratched,
he’d grown embittered by his circumstance.
He loathed the one to whom he’d stayed attached,
a foolish wife who yearned for mere romance!
She’d loved him, rich or poor, which was no help!
Her acquiescence made him hate her more.
He smiled as he recalled her startled yelp;
he looked down at her corpse there on the floor.
His final thoughts were quite far from contrite. . .
and then a single gunshot sliced the night.
Growing up as a child I never wanted to sleep alone
In fear of the darkness and most of all the unknown
“Mommy is there monsters” I would commonly ask
Her reply was “only on Halloween, the ones we see in masks”
Still not satisfied with her answer and questioning her some more
Asking her the same old thing as I did the night before
Frustrated and exhausted she finally took me by the hand
Looking under my bed, in my closet and even inside my night-stand
“So see my daughter the monsters are only in your head”
“It’s time to get some sleep me dear, now do as I have said”
Respectfully obeying my mother; my little body trembling with fear
Wishing the hour was morning, praying for “him” not to appear
But as the darkness faded and uncomfortable silence came about
I could hear the monster stirring, getting ready to come out
Hoping the noises I heard were only my brothers messing around
Pulling the covers over my head, hoping and praying not to be found
The footsteps getting closer, the monster is almost to the foot of my bed
I now can hear his heavy breathing, oh God how I wished he was dead
Quietly he lifts my covers back and lays down in the bed beside me
Touching, groping and mauling, trying to cover my eyes so I cannot see
He took away my childhood and with that my trust and self-esteem
A pleading child without a voice, invisible as it would seem
So yes my daughters there are monsters, everywhere we look
Saying as I remember my childhood and everything he took
There is a delusional vision inside me
Full of eternal love and mental bliss
Is that vision so un-comprehendible?
For the vision now seems so far wretched
What is it like to live one day completely insanely free?
For I cannot remember the very last time
My disease did not entirely consume me
Control and patience they say;
These remedies seem very far and few
For walk a path of insanity just once
Then you’ll see what it’s like
To walk a mile inside my mental shoes
These broken, shattered pieces of me are aching
My selfish heart cracking and breaking
Can the healing of the rain
Ease your undying pain
Like a brat I helplessly cling to you
Unaware of just what my venom does to you
Until it is too late to take back the sting
To change this monstrousness I have become…this thing
Never once did you really hate me
And alone I never wanted to be
But my deranged mine created a scenario…a belief that you did not want me around
And I pushed you away…shoved you to the ground
And I can never undo this hurtful crime
Nothing can make this guilt and pain go away…not even time
The things that we value are lost in time
and only preserved in one's memory.
It's useless to try to capture in rhyme
as all else is changing ceremony.
I remember what it once meant to meet
or welcome a loved one at the airport.
Time spent waiting for a daughter was sweet.
Moments of recognition at the port
door was worth all the traffic to get there.
In this world terror and security
are acceptable so we must beware
and lose all the small forms of dignity
we valued a moment ago. Truth is
not war's casualty, humanity is.
If man is the measure of all,
Our world immediately shrinks.
There can be no moral compass
Just the yardstick of failure and success
Drunkenly refracted by o'er heated ambition
Or chilling revenge
Without the overarching Architect,
The Prime Mover that once was.
Man lives in a festering swamp
Where reason plays handmaiden to naked power
And words mean what the speaker wants.
It is now man needs a Voltaire
To bring him back into the light of the sun.
If there is no God, man must invent one.
once there was you and then there was me, that made us you
gave me your heart and I gave you my love ,
we lived and we laughed and we made plans this was us.
but you changed you acted strange and that is not for us.
you cheated and you lied and you abused my trust , that's why there is no u in us.
When you miss a child,
Of your very own,
That is your flesh and blood,
You begin to wonder,
Where did you go wrong,
In your own life,
Instead of looking,
At the beautiful life,
This you must remember,
So many of the difficult times,
Cause of the times you did share together,
For your children will remember more,
Than you really want to give them credit for,
And they will always remember you,
As their loving parent,
For loving them so much,
More than you will ever know,
And you will never forget them,
Just as you hope,
You will never be forgotten,
From their lives,
So many ways to say goodbye hwyl fawr is what you say
when your leaving here in Wales and trying not to cry
Farvel you say in Denmark used extensibly each day
Hating the final words which they themselves imply..
Now the italians say it with feeling shouting Addio
with such aplomb, not like the subtle way of the czech
they say the word Sobhem . Whilst In turkey gule gule
is goodbye said with kissing cheek and hugging neck
No matter how we say it goodbye's a final thought
whether its just for 5 minutes or a lifetime walk
the begging eyes of those we leave behind are caught
saying be back soon so we can walk and talk.
Goodbye to love, goodbye to hurt, goodbye
to life, goodbye to strife, goodbye to goodbyes
Rated the wise and best striker of the under nineteen’s,
On the playing field, left opposing defenders with headaches,
Rival coaches, trainers and fans with heartaches,
And labelled the inspiration for the teens!
As a result, my heart over-brimmed with joy,
For that career was worth and wisely chosen.
With tears oozing now, painfully lie I awaken,
For me, there is no more joy.
With leg amputation, my ability is permanently impaired,
After vehicle capsized, all dead save me.
But my dream to part of the world’s best completely shattered.
``Does God always care?`` I fondly asked the lad,
``Rejoice, being saved and alive shows that He
Loves and cares for you and me,`` he uttered.
Remember the days when life
Was all we thought about ?
It slipped by being alive
Could end when death turnout ?
One more among the crowd
To admire to whole tree
When the green leaves have sprout
There’s not much to see
On a tree that’s almost empty
It’s leaves spread on the ground
In one dead leaf there’s still beauty
That if looked for can be found
The last green leaf that has turned brown
Will still be beautiful after falling down
Together they live happily forever
in a life filled with sorrows and sadness
they will be together, always never
excluded from reality for life
Forever or never they live to cry,
away they will be gone with but a knife
the choice to live happily or to just die
A knife or life, forever or never
a quarrel, a death, leaving one alone
he lies on the ground, a knife in his heart
a plan, a scheme, its never to be known
She says to herself "we must never part"
Now two dead hearts lie, killed with the same knife
Why? Was it love or just a wast of life?
She wanted a baby more than life
So she went and booyah’d 50 guys
Her smile dazzled everyone she met
When she finally learned she was pregnant
Her breasts grew larger, her belly too
She decorated the nursery with pink and blue
But at the doctors, something was amiss
The only sound was the instrument’s hiss
There wasn’t a heartbeat; her eyes grew wide
“Doctor is my baby, dead inside?”
“Let’s do a sonogram, see what it shows”
But his eyes were sad, his movements slow
As the sonogram screen lit up the womb
It wasn’t as they’d thought, a baby’s tomb
Because in fact, there was no baby there
Just an aching hole, and a woman’s despair
A nightmare that always lurks in my mind
A jumble of thoughts I cannot fathom
Making me distorted, confused, and blind
My monsters are chanting their own anthem
Over again I can no longer bare
They drag me down to terrifying depths
But it leaves me grasping at the air
Choking me, taking away all my breaths
I'm screaming but there is no one around
I'm scared of failure, just simply nervous
They say they can fix me, but I can't be found
I'm starting to think trying is worthless
And as I awoke from my horrid dream
I realize no one is who they seem.
Define your lovely, soulless heart in death
To take my heart would be a risk; a storm
You licked your lips to taste what i had left
And jumped from cliff to rocks, i was forlorn.
Upon my lover; roses wilt in pain
For I’ve lost the one whom has no soul, and
Was all this give and take with us in vain?
I loved your soul and heart, we joined by hand.
The brewing storm that took a life, took two
For deep within your heart was love,
And deep within my heart was you
I’ll see you soon, i promise; heart above.
For without you I cannot survive
For without you I will not strive
Unrequited Soliloquies Of The Heart
By M. Taha Effendi
As I walk along the twilit avenue,
A forlorn heart bids the day adieu,
The rubicund sun withdraws its weary
Surrenders its quest of endless days,
Vagrant clouds drift to uncharted lands,
Twilight steals a last glance through
The gloaming emblazoned with pink and
As I walk along the twilit avenue,
The west wind wails in melancholy,
A lonely river seeks the embrace of the
Unchained melodies of the solitaire's
That has emptied love's hemlock to the
Unrequited soliloquies of the heart
Nature's course, onerous, unchanged,
He stood bravely before me
with a medal of honor in his right hand
and a bandage of agony around his left knee
It seemed like he had struggled to stand,
his crutches lay useless on the ground
I found it hard to understand why,
a soldier in pain didn't even frown
With a voice firm but dry
his words shook me like thunder
"You're now the man of this house"
he uttered like a worn-out hunter
quivering up my legs like a terrified mouse
Drowning my mind through cold ears
he passed his sincere respect and sunken tears
Just one more day with you
one more smile from you.
said you where here to stay,
forever you use to say
then why are you not here today?
could i find the strength to walk away,
if your lie is in my way.
now all i have today,
is our song
the song you use to play,
seating here all alone,
i listen to the words it say,
" you would leave me alone and torn my heart to stone"
was he worth the tear in my eye,
did you not love me enough to try,
why then did u tel me a lie,
cause you said you'd always be there,
but yet you tore out my heart and
left my flash to die,.
better to be loved then to love,
for the pain of a broken heart is one i would not share,
I have lived your lie.
It's just one o'clock
On Sunday A.M.
And my thought process
Is getting quite slim
Eyelids are heavy,
Red colored, and rimmed.
Its now one-oh-two
On Sunday A.M.
My ache licks like a furnace, Silent Spark
For you have further prolonged my patience;
Building on the weak to perturb the dark,
To surrender selfish sense of silence;
Your silence, an incision to the heart,
Angers that which disappears out of sight,
That mocks life, to its desolate ill part;
Cowers me out, so far-sight may ignite.
Bright am I now, lost into void and woe,
A panic fire orb which hath poured;
My speech and my prudence still lacketh flow,
Blackened from all heat sorely abhorred
Oh, I do light thee well as I may try
For you I burn on, till the day I die
Beachy, together, childhood days
erecting castles, made with our hands.
Endeavoring, close to our ebb
letting our waves soften our sand.
Moulding, shoulder to shoulder,
I never felt that free again,
though I did try. Over time,
I don’t know why, I crossed a line.
And as my castles grew in size,
incoming waves continued too,
and battered down my secrets and lies.
Today, I yearn for that beach. To be free again,
to start over, to see my young self as I was then.
My love, what shall you leave me with tonight?
What words are there to mend my broken heart?
Will our love be repaired with morning light,
Oh, or will nightfall be our last depart?
My darling, sha'nt I leave you without this,
My eternal promise of love to you
How could you pull apart this final kiss?
Don't let such love fade, whilst such lovely hue
So, before you give your final goodbye,
And your anger and hate bury your love
Remember what wishes, and dreams, will die
And the future that we had spoken of
So, I'll remind you with my final breath,
My eternal love is as strong as death
I remember when you and I were young
And you were beautiful beyond compare.
Each day we fought the world and always won
Living for the moment without a care
But time that thief has stole our youth away
And your beauty does slowly dissipate.
The world we fought has won and now holds sway
Showering us with blows we can’t abate.
Knowing now the battle is all but lost
With the fighting fought at our very gate.
Do we resist regardless of the cost
Or just give in and thus capitulate
No even at the end we must believe
Our life matters and to it we must cleave
A child himself, just a boy with a bike
who gave a lift to a twelve year old girl
on his handlebars, down a county road.
Neither could know that a killer would strike
or that some of Lynn Harper’s becoming curls
would softly house blow flies, maggots and toads.
Unspeakable acts, a horrific crime,
Then a fourteen year old was crucified,
Remember the name of Stephen Truscott,
a teenager who served ten years of time
because Justice lied.
*A curtal sonnet rhyme scheme, though mine is not iambic pentameter
In June of 1959, Stephen Truscott, 14, was charged with the rape and murder of 12 year old Lynn Harper. The investigation was rushed and badly botched. Stephen testified that he dropped her off an intersection and watched as she got into a car. Witnesses were ignored and the evidence was circumstantial, yet Stephen spent 10 years in prison. After years of decrying his innocence, the Canadian government awarded him 6.5 million dollars in 2008 for a miscarriage of justice.
I find myself not , eating, thinking, and sleeping
Sometimes , not doing things right in my life
The many obstacles , Im going threw
Just to reach one goal
The many blocks, I walk
Day or Night
Sometimes confuse on time
Wishing it was a dream
The moment , I heard
You went to sleep
All, I keep saying is
Who , understood me like you
For the many reasons
I love you
I appreciated everything, you did
From the braveness, you gave my soul
The gentleness, in your words
For each teardrop, you wiped off my face
Now, my teardrops seem to reach the ground
While , I look in (Heaven)
Praying your looking down
Showering this fear off my skin
Feel my feet
They're so weak
But , for you
I get on my knees
Singing and crying, to God
That my angel is you
So , I can whisper in your ear
Mama, make me brave
Brave like you
June 8th 2012
How do we ever know whom we've come to know
All we see is their periphery, externally on show
But what resides from within, can be River Deep, Mountain High
With levels we can't seem to count, internally they cry
Internally they cry, into a world we can't comprehend
It's no wonder they appear like this, if me, I'd be round the bend
One minute their world seems so right, suddenly a darkness descends
All it took was explainable, but a different signal they send
A different signal they send, yet it's receiver appears to know
What was there originally no longer appears to show
Just like a pendulum swinging, to the left and to the right
No middle happy medium, for when it stops out goes their light
When it stops out goes their light, and a darkness descends
Maybe it's what they had become, driven round the bend
I never summoned sadness to my cause
And yet it fell full to me, neverending
A darkness envelop the soul, to pause
To leave despair, a depth I'm descending
When did time become a realm so cold?
As beauty faded away in silence
When love was shaken, the heart foretold
Loneliness will appear in love's absence
Grief flows fluid, while in quiet repose
To fill the emptiness, when love has died
Reflections fleeting, do not but expose
A need for a flickering light, to guide
Summoned by sadness, with no knowledge of
To feel a heart grow cold, without love
Daddy lied to his sweet little girl,
wiping a tear and a golden curl.
"You won't die" he lied, in anguished pain,
Kissing her face again and again.
"Don't Cry Daddy, it will be okay"
She said. "Just hold my hand and pray"
Daddy saw the doctor shake his head "No".
Then, he knew it was her time to go.
She loved him with a weak final smile,
"Lay in bed with me a little while."
He climbed in bed and held her tight,
praying hard to save her precious life.
Soon she fell into lasting sleep,
leaving behind the world to weep.
A normal old sonnet, for the beautiful lies contest.
The melancholy man who loves a poem -
into a hidden room will now descend
to there unloose his mind and soul to roam;
his pen, meanwhile, grows a feathered end.
This implement can take away his pain
and harness it. When disappointment surges,
it marks his pondering in sad refrain;
then melancholy poetry emerges.
The plume dissolves. The poet lays aside
his special pen, while to their deepest shelf,
regrets return in his dark room to hide
until released again from inner self.
Like magic, when the quill begins to grow,
a smile molds the lips of the man of woe.
Tribute to Dan Tharp, an old poet friend
that lost contact with me and others in
the club where we met him. His poetry,
though sad at times, can be beautiful and
For Francine Roberts' "tribute by Sonnet" Poetry Contest
Forget me, you; where upon your name shall shine,
Where, therein your heart shall not ever repent,
For by then, I will be gone without a sign
And our love with its flowers shall far be sent,
And thus my part, a lover, done and proven,
For this ain't my love that don't care your future,
But the truth that I will burn in an oven,
Tolerating my broken heart in suture,
Escorting pain along with me to the sea,
To the depths where your eyes and heart shall not reach,
If once you see my son, call him for a tea,
For I shall sing him our love and its songs each,
For now this is all I say when you marry,
That my distance is my love that I carry.
I have had many frightening visions
of demons pulling me down into the infernal abyss:
to burn and torment my bound and shivering body...
as Dante envisioned it in his Divine Comedy.
Ah, Popes, Presidents, Kings, enemies and friends made no apologies...
they were glad to see me join them in their cell!
I accursed them even in that place called," Hell ."
And that gave me an opportunity to write many appropriate analogies.
" My flesh will burn, not my spirit! " I desperately hollered.
" This is not a place where I should pay for my earthly sins!"
" Eternal fire and condemnation are wrong!" I protested.
" God loves everyone, and He only demands repentance!"
Finally, that dreadful vision ended at the coming of the sunrise,
I found myself on Earth witnessing the wonders of Paradise!
beams of mid-
relaxed on their
trap us their
experts of the
A fiction of
promises bind in
To be gently
spilled on the
nods from our
And in trash
cans, those art-
rust like my old
Leaving us to
drown with our
anointed liar is
on course for
the next tenure.
The latent pace of winter-tide drifts on,
hibernal winds exhale a frosty dawn,
the gentle warmth of summer’s long-since gone,
now ‘midst the jagged ice the sun lies torn.
Of broken heart she bleeds, to frigid pools,
a weary spectral light for life to take;
ethereal displays of winter jew’ls
reflect her soul on tears of downy flake.
Emotion spent she falls to deep repose,
where afternoon dies young, bereft of light,
‘cept for a moonlight serenade that flows
across the down that softly quilts the night.
Encased within her dreams of grief and pain,
a frozen world of beauty breathes in vain.
You fair and I dark had colored the day
with sorrel and moss, bluebell and violet,
As a gentle breeze swept each cloud away
from a sky bordered by jaded eyelet.
I wished you bliss and loyal company,
A life filled with love, no burdens to bear,
Sweet sister, you prayed the same things for me
‘Til mauve shadows deepened from our despair.
We gathered blooms as we wept o’er men,
Hearts finding comfort in identical tears
that fell on soft ground till we smiled again
and trotted home like unbroken yearlings.
There, I banned burs that sense could not free,
while you simply pruned my sensibility.
*This was inspired by two works of art. Renoir's IN THE MEADOW (click on the about this poem link if you can) and Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility.
**This is part of a my series of sonnets inspired by works of art.
He was my father, he brought me home.
I was his second son, not so alone.
Something was taken, not far, but long,
today I remember, this lifeline is gone.
Broken foundations, bridges and stones,
teetering traces of my tears on his bones.
Emptied my pockets, nothing but loans,
never again will I reap what he sows.
Hold up the truth to the light as he fades,
I am the bridge that collapsed from the waves.
excuse to apology, attempts to explain,
love for my father is all that remains.
Look up to the sun, crown for his last day,
watching it set as his soul fades away.
With great fervor they write without end
Pretty words that could not even be read
Though he tried, he had no will to lend
The voice inside expiring, left for dead
There was some pleasure even concern
Pondering the loss of the bonds formed
The thought he could not even discern
His own demons, now left him scorned
No more adventure left in his lost soul
What could they truly understand in him
No more desire, he tried to form a goal
A pursuit also that left him without whim
What more can I do, but write these things I feel
What more can I say, I have nothing left to reveal
Sweet little girl who snuck upon her mom
without plans already in place to meet,
you’re a tiny hero, a bitter balm
for the wound that left an empty car seat.
A routine visit that ended in tears,
and an operation for the next week.
My sister’s truth was a mother’s worst fear,
never to hold her babe, to stroke her cheek.
After the grim appointment, her eyes glazed
her heart rate jumped high, and her fever raised.
Illness would have stolen her, but for fate.
You had asked a favor at heaven’s gate.
Thank you for saving my sister, sweet one.
I wish though, it didn’t mean your life was done.
I have tilled the soil Lord
brought forth manna for the world
dug trenches for young seeds
instead planted my little girl
she was just learning to sew
starting on her very first quilt
begged us for a proper education
my heart beats with guilt
how shall I understand
the message thou has sent
trying to remain strong and erect
my spiritualism has been bent
but my wife is steadfast and true
she's with the devil's parents glorifying you......
Bob Shank-Oct 10th, 2006
Dedicated to a pained Amish father
No not the portrait when you were younger, my dear
Just a Polaroid snapshot at the beach that year
No earrings, no make-up, your hair was a mess
("So what? Got a problem? I couldn't care less!")
Brother-in-law behind you, muggin' like a fool
Our nephew beside him, tryin' to look cool
You had a little patch of sand on your chin
But oh, what a smile; what a wide, joyful grin!
Living that moment, on a rollicking high
Complete in the present, no when and no why
(Now you're tucked away safe in our own special place
So you'll always stay with me when I tremble and ache
Sometimes I unfold you when I miss you too much
Press you tight to my forehead and weep at your touch)
For Gautami Phookan's 'The Poet III contest
Tenderly hits the rain on the window
Cheers my heart as it sweeps away the dust
Fits me between roses of green meadow
Deluding me to dream, or so I must
So softly it fell as poets may tell
Passes on the gentle chill of winter
Carries me to you as I hoped it will
Lost dreams to miss, and nights to remember
Still I remember what nights left behind
Still I rejoice when rain knocks on the door
As it flames my heart, too hopeful yet blind
To shine on sweet moments I have no more
For as rain drops sneak when sun is away
So does my heart, steals dreams till shines the day
From: Echoes (http://wp.me/1om48)
A person starts a rumor and it spreads,
It spreads like fire fueled by diesel gas,
It leaves people crying in their beds,
The fire spreads faster on very dry grass,
The time passes by but nothing changes,
The receivers of abuse get no help,
They don’t like to have hurtful exchanges,
They don’t like to shout, they don’t want to yelp,
As time proceeds the pain will not die down,
It will keep on going until the end,
In their tears they will eventually drown,
Little do they know help’s around the bend,
God heard all of their countless fearful cries,
They no longer live with tears in their eyes.
Because i'm hobo.
In bins i sleep and get food,
Because i'm hobo.
My attires are stubs,
Because i'm hobo.
My body allures fleas,
Because i'm hobo.
Rich man evict me in his yard,
Because i'm hobo.
I live on begging and stealing,
Because i'm hobo.
Like roses on a thorn I never knew
What I thought was beneath and what was there
I look inside and all I see is you
And there I found I actually do care
More than I deserve, you make me feel
Am I awake? Or is this just a dream?
Heart Beats, with a tear and my thoughts unreal
Perhaps this world is more that what it seems;
I hope someday you'll see what I see
Away with your pity and no more sighs
You'll look inside and tomorrow we will fly
You'll change and the sky will darken its hue
Whatever you become I will still love you
Sheets of rain, lit up sky, flapping wind,
relieve my angry atmosphere.
She smiled twice and all was clear.
Once for no reason, and once more,
to ensure it was over for sure.
The weight of my sadness, that
heaving load behind me, reminding me,
making me cautious, awkward and
anxious. Caught in an animal trap.
I cut off my nose to save my face.
And ran for the nearest hiding place,
to vanish and bleed without a trace.
I am haunted now, searching for peace
condemned to go on, casket of unease.
The water’s calm lay broken by a breeze;
a whisper, yet it shivered ‘cross the lake,
dispiriting reflected hues with ease,
perhaps without intent, within its wake.
In silence, at the water’s edge, she stood
and watched as scenes of beauty disappeared;
dark echoes of a sunset, red as blood;
distorted visions drowned then re-appeared.
Delivered with a faint yet crippling blow,
such consequences borne of careless breath.
Dark seas of salty heartache vowed to grow,
engraved with scars, adornments until death.
As words with thought once bathed a tender heart,
just one without did tear her world apart.
Wish i was not dead
Through the eyes of my spirit,
On the view of my funeral,
All people come together to accompany me,
Accompany me to my last cell,
More than thousand people and cars,
My relatives who never visited me even once were there,
My enemies with my friends were there,
My casket so expensive than anything i never owned before in life,
A tomb with my name and picture,
Every speaker talked about how good i was,
How good i was when i was still alive,
Everyone talked about how they missed me,
And how they are still going to miss me,
Through the eyes of my spirit,
I saw them wasting money to beautify my funeral,
Wasting all i left for my children to live with,
When the funeral was over,
I wished i was not dead,
To tell them that they lie and they are happy that i am dead,
I wish i was not dead .
TRESPASSERS SHOULD BE SHOT
Your own computer, where they should not go,
'tis your own place, your Heaven or your Hell
All sacred are the words they should not know,
Nor spy upon, some things you'd never tell.
The scum of life know secrets to the lock,
They play among your bits, yes ev'ry byte.
And troubled nights, not sleeping like a rock
You'll laugh it off, as just imagined plight.
But know you well, conspiracies they thrive,
from cyberspace, they bring you false alarm,
Intimidation keeps their cause alive
Their snooping's meant to bring you naught but harm.
If you've uneasy feeling someone's there
Then know you well, they're with us ev'rywhere.
© ron wilson aka Vee Bdosa the Doylestown Poet
He strove to be an abomination,
the bold Scorn of Affection and Passion.
Yearning to be free of humanity’s
struggle to empathize, and to appease
those who hold onto ties with a tight grip,
attempt to cherish their relationship
with God, or another. He froze his heart
so icy cold, no flame could hope to start.
Never to taste the tender inner soul
of love that doggedly passed self-control
desperately clutched by a lonely man
puzzling only on logic’s bloom which can
bamboozle the most quick witted of mind,
yet leave aching hunger of the worst kind.
**Author's note: this poem is in honor of the soldiers
that died overseas. Enjoy! :D**
Tears; they spill over eyes
they cloud the vision of the
cryptic and wise,
voices cry out through the dense
it's easy to tell that death is
spring has arrived and the dahlia's
in the field begin to bloom,
the sunset lines the bloomed trees
in a line of gold and red,
darkening the lifeless frames of
the soldiers that have been
like tears, blood was spilled
innocent men and women; killed,
sons and husbands and cousins
whose lives were stolen from them,
whose souls swim through the air
filled with blood-lust,
they died with honor; that's great!
but war, it means nothing, but what
which is blacker and darker than
it's own bitterness and hate.
**2nd authors note: i have a cousin that died in Iraq and
on the news i used to hear about all these people (u.s.a.
and Europe and the u.k.) who were killed and this poem was born,
i haven't written down till now. **
The love that kisses with a tasteless tear
A pain that can’t be painted on the soul
A longing for a place without a fear
Longing for a feeling that makes me whole
Beloved, words can’t heal my tattered heart.
As thorns pass me by the pain cant compare
That of the pain of being torn apart
Even the wind howls about it I swear
Tell me was falling in love my mistake
I chose my own fate and decided to stay
I will not let this love become forsaken
Love can’t just get up and spirit away
Love is worth overcoming a mountain
My love for you flows like a vast fountain
Jiggling keys,he gave his crown a scratch
then took another look at his watch.
"You're gorgeous, now please get out!"
for the 10th time he cried out loud.
Out she emerged, breathtaking, as always,
dropping baubles, tottering in her Jimmy's,
Smile still smeared, they left that hour,
unaware of the timed out counter.
Tyres screeched as he sped,
"take it slow honey"she requested,
when, an unexpected brightness grew larger,
until black, and then, everything grew calmer.
With excruciating pain he awakened,
looking around called, "Lauren!"
the teary faces dropped and nodded,
"We're sorry" , they whispered..
Suddenly lifted by a whiff of heat,
all he could hear was his own heart beat.
limped out, made a futile attempt to find his dear,
and crashed with thoughts of future fear.
Shutting the door behind him,
reminiscing love, life, past with grim,
clouds of "what if" floating his self ,
whole world reduced into a tiny elf.
Moving on is most important at present,
Realizing a reason, he may not accept,
he still breathes, for that very reason,
And, taking care of himself will never be treason.
Nothing as cold as a winter of black.
the world still moves, as if nothing has changed.
"a snow angel" i thought as she fell back.
she looked to the stars "they all seem arranged".
her eyes a sunrise on the Coral Sea.
Years pass people, continue in rejoice.
my despair endless, as challenger deep.
i long for her warmth, and ache for her voice.
her love for me eternally in stone.
love crashing down in a thunderous wave.
stars came and went but i stood there alone.
waiting for deaths sweet grip, by true loves grave.
when joy comes with curved blade and dark cloak.
time will mend the heart, it long ago broke.
The Laughter on their faces
and banter by the carts,
is just another way of hiding
the hatred in their hearts.
The ground around here swallows
our footsteps as we tread,
now the water gently wallows
where our friends once lay dead.
One day this place is hell,
on others, simply worse.
I'm one of many stuck here,
one of many with a curse.
Laughing Man, Pain Hidden
A laughing man hid well his pain
our approval he sought to gain
A hope that admiration would pay
force the inner demon far away
Can any judge another man's soul
we can only guess but never know
The mental pains cut ever so deep
hammers preventing needed sleep
No plea, request or loud outcry
no note explaining the why
Answer left to be only a guess
misery now gone, soul at rest
A laughing man hid well his pain
so very sad but will happen again
Robert J. Lindley , 08-12-2014
Over the ridges of orange sand
watch it slide,sink and expand
as the orange turns a silhouette
I wish life would reach its sunset
a gigantic glow of fading light
that slowly subsides into the night
it just becomes a crimson pyre
of the hopes that never flew higher
their magnificence brutally mangled
one by one, picked and strangled
and if love is merely a setting sun
let the holds of life come undone
be my dusk of a painful existence
sink with the sun into the distance.
*Written atop a red dune whilst watching the sunset.
Fantasy beguiled love upon one night.
Twisted, forbidden, walking out of fright,
She gave desire, I crashed ever contrite.
Destroying our love, for little delight,
Each day after, I cried in deep regret,
Though her eyes would never ever forget,
Remembering images, etched deeply set.
She told me of the love, now just a debt.
Rescinding our commitment, completely,
My heart still aches, for her repeatedly.
Her recall forever, regretfully,
My memory haunting deceitfully,
I could never produce any amends.
My mistake haunting, until my life ends.
theme - 1)a broken heart
Sponsor Francine Roberts
Contest Name 3 forms, 3 themes |
On the cliff, above the sea,
Looking down at ocean blue.
Memories come back to me,
Memories of me and of you.
Young we were, long ago.
In love and happy, so we thought.
Plans we made, but fate was foe.
All our planning was for naught.
As I watch the wild waves pound
The sand below from this cliff above,
Memories run 'round and 'round,
Memories of my lost love.
You were much too young to die.
I scatter your ashes as I cry.
June 2nd, 2012
THE 3RD WORLD COUNTRY
My walls are destroy and I am naked
Where are my glories that were over me?
I am desolate and where are my seed
They all left me in my state and need
They came with their friend with blue eyes
And rip me of my oil and rubies at what prize
Who are the remnants of this woe?
My own now turns to my foe
Those blue eyes that I fed with grass
Now they flog me with whip made of brass
My ears and eyes are full that it drains
My children how will you cope
When even the little you left is brink hope
Alas! I say be wise for you are acting like fools
It's when the night gets cold
I miss you the most
With no ones there to cover or care
It's when the night gets cold
My thoughts flood my brain
Your image takes such a strong hold
I have no control
It's when the night gets cold
I ache for you the most
Wanting to be so close
But no one near to see nor hear
It's when the night gets cold
I miss you the most
We boomers, as our generation’s called,
have lived through two seasons, considered great,
during which our values were overhauled --
The Summer of Love and Autumn of Hate.
Both brought us together and gave us hope.
In the face of injustice, both were staged --
the first, a celebration with free dope,
the other a tragedy that enraged.
We were innocent in ‘Sixty-Seven;
we saw world violence and were appalled.
Our attitudes changed by Nine-Eleven;
we sought revenge, though we were shocked and galled.
While Winter of War passes, may we find
The Spring of Renewal and peace of mind.
Shall I compare thee to a winter’s morn?
Thou art more frigid and thou cometh too late.
Rough winds do shake the branches of the thorn,
And winter’s sun hath all too long to wait.
Sometimes too bright the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed
By cloud and wind and snow amidst the pines,
Or chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal chill shall never fade
Nor lose possession of that icy grace;
Thou’rt dead at heart, but death has been delayed
But memories shall never yet erase
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives love, but now I say good-bye.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more stormy and less temperate.
Rough winds do shake our fragile bonds of May,
And summer's temper hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot your sweat does shine,
And often is your beauty dimmed;
And every handsome man you do decline,
by chance, they leave chest hair untrimmed.
Part 2 Variation
Shall I compare thee to a winter’s day?
Thou art as stormy and as cold
And do leave me longing for May
And winter’s temper too long showed
Sometime too cold yours eyes shine GREY
When I am low and feeling down,
A call from you relieves my frown,
Your voice washing over me
Like the warmth of a soothing sea.
An enchanted captive of such gossamer bonds
I float in dreams inspired by those sweet sounds.
Harsh reality melts,the world is all aglow,
'Tis the magic of your words doth make it so.
Cares dissolve and fantasies abound
When your entrancing tones me surround.
What delights and dreams I visualise
When I hear your voice and close my eyes!
And then the time for conversation fades away
And I blink ,blinded again by the harsh light of day
So many years have come and gone away,
And now the time has come that I should leave;
The sanctuary where I was to pray,
The haven where my heart was free to grieve.
I never had to front or fog the facts.
It knew me as I knew myself to be,
And as I wait to walk upon the tracks,
I feel as though it's from myself I flee.
Now it only houses me in sorrow,
By misty memories of days long passed;
Knowing I'll be on my own tomorrow,
And wondering how long this pain will last.
If home is where the heart is then I find,
I'll have to leave my broken heart behind.
Your love is music to my soul,
It is more lovely than any
melody that replays in my
Notes fly through my heart that
was once coal,
I was blind
Now I can clearly see since
your rhythm set me free,
Soft wind hums through my
As you sing to me,
Your soft voice drives away all
But love never lasts in one's life
Pardon me as I lay down my
While you walk a mile in pursuit
of a heart breaking crime,
You played me like a card.
and I awllowed all of this pain
Never again will I play this
The strain of separation leaves a sore,
sorrow abides and festers in the heart;
two star-cross'd lovers smitten to the core,
despairing of the days they'll spend apart.
Spirit, soul and testament they share,
blind to worldly consequences, broken
by the distance in between, for where'er
their footsteps fall each retains a token.
Two rings confirm a union true and bold;
connubial bliss that will not e'er be still'd
though time and tide would try to break the mold,
a fire undying, passion unfulfill'd.
The day will shortly dawn to soothe the strain,
and end their bleak despondency and pain.
His words concealed a life so full of lies
His hand was soft which held her gentle palm
She raised her head and looked into his eyes
Without a twitch he played her heart with calm
He knew the signs the ways to find his prey
He’d showed his smile and hid his means to harm
It was for him a laugh a game to play
Where he portrayed a mask with grace and charm
From young till now with ease she chose wrong men
And then she’d fight to keep her man in vain
She craved their rage became the nagging hen
It seemed as if she aimed to live with pain
Dad hid mum and he found a mum to hit
Mum loved dad and she was treated like sh*t
We hear them now, the beating bass of drum,
the marchers, though loose-knit, from Wall Street's rolls,
too soon will turn to cadence; those who come,
all have no memory of Hitler's goals.
Their good intentions caved in, to survive,
to placing blame to where it shouldn't go!
And all too soon, the buzzing of the hive
lays every blame to things we shouldn't know.
Though mournful is the tune that plays along
to every drumbeat, calling for return
of nights of death--the old recall the song,
but much too late recall how bodies burn.
And Stars of David are replaced on every wall,
by Swastikas demanding rights for all.
Joys of the day,seems to be limited,
with sun going down,leaving me frustrated.
Dunno what makes me so ,trying to figure it out
whether its the horrible climate or the little ones shout
But again,I've tolerated climates worse than present
and the presence of kids ,happiness was all it meant
then what could be the reason for my present state
that my very lovable things are now an object of hate
Irritation seems to be ready for anything that comes across
Be it either a friend or family with everyone I'm cross
Find me a place where I can get a moment of peace
along the blue high skies or in the lovely green trees
As i need to get away from this reality of irritation
killing me every moment at the edge of frustration.
Cling to the last fragments of your credence
Forgetting all mistakes and faults
Forgiving the critics of their impotence
and slandering those the world exalts
They can lock an animal in a cage
Depriving it of its God-given right
However can never take away its rage
So they instead put it in a vexatious plight
Despite this all and control of a tyrant
Driven by a claim of purity
A claim of which he needs to recant
I would have pity for one with such calamity
But for those who hope wrongdoing on another
And receive from it some sick sense of pleasure
I wish for you a long life and pain in which you smother
For they are great and to them you are of no measure
As comforting the song of an angel calming the rage of the caged animal and setting it free
That same angel's song heals the enraged caged animal's wounds inside of me.
Dance in the darkness, my sweetest nocturne
While the trees swing their billowing arms round
And you sing to the sky without a sound
To shake from slumber, each flower and fern.
You call to each shadow with hungry eyes
Penetrating each ghost hidden in leaves.
An aching, longing sigh for what you’ve seen
Always rooted beneath the vacant sky.
The Earth spins around underneath my feet
But your loneliness kept me bound to land.
Caught deep in your world, captive right in hand,
But we need each other to feel complete.
With voices so raw we can’t even speak;
Even if they could hear, we would still seek.
The dust was settled on those fateful days
And wind-whisked through those endless months of sorrow.
Now settled for its final time it stays
Where I can say I won't see you tomorrow.
No longer shall I reminisce the past;
Of when you played me into foolish mind.
I can accept that foolish dreams don't last
And know that truth can never be so kind.
My anger came so often but not now;
Not even your response to all those days;
Your words that fill my thoughts but can't tell how
I couldn't hold you when you changed your ways.
I know, now, that you wouldn't care for me.
I only hope apart, we can be free.
?The Unavoidable Need For Sunlight
You walk through life, your head held high,
smile for the world to see.
But you glance behind, since you rely
UpOn your shadow; upon me.
I yearn for an obstruction
To overcome the rays.
perhaps, then you'll face deduction
Amidst winter's haunting grays.
The remaining leaves are frosted;
They clink mournfully in dark.
Like them I am exhausted,
Wishing I could disembark.
What you need to realize is, it's you whom you deceive;
If you'd let me be your sunlight, I would never leave.
I wake up screaming, sometimes crying.
I simply can't tell which side is lying.
Is it me, or is it my brain?
I can't deal with much more because it drives me insane.
I see visions of horrible, gruesome things.
Like people who've been chopped to bits, and little dead kids that sing.
I can hear the music playing and it scares me to death.
I try to run away, but I get sicker with every breath.
I see people I love and others that I've never seen before.
If I ever see those strangers when I'm awake, I'll freak out, I'm sure.
Why do I have these nightmares each and every time I sleep?
Have I not cried enough tears for people I'll never meet?
I'll never understand it, but I guess I'll have to deal.
It only gets to me this bad because it all seems so real.
I look in your eyes
They are blue like the skies
I think of what could be
If you would ever love me
I can see
What has been
When you're blue
I've helped you pull through
With the look that you show
I can't help but know
The love that I feel
I should probably conceal
Since you don't feel the same
When I call your name
Contest: 4 Forms, 4 Themes
Sponsor: Francine Roberts
Theme: Unrequited Love
The bay of Cascais looks like a mass produced painting,
azure sea, flying seagulls and anchored ships just as
it was when last time I was here…a sunny day in May.
Ah, this ennui, if clouds would alter a little and don´t be
so static I will take new Interest in my surrounding and
don´t feel so jaded as I felt when a famous general fell
flat on his face when caught lying to his wife and having
an affair with a woman craving fame at whatever cost.
Who is going to buff up the general´s many medals now?
The answer is not in the picture card bay, which today
looks like yesterdays where ruined careers come to rest
and their historic insignificance is forgotten.
I spit the words you made me eat, and then
they land on you as there you stand aghast –
You cringe and stare at what you said; thick phlegm
bedecks your face, a white-hot, slimy blast.
They left a taste, a bitter paste of hate
and painful anger. Tongue to teeth, I fled
the room and slapped the twisted hands of fate
from off my neck as choking life-breath bled.
I tripped, you screamed and tried to grab me back –
Too late for that, and now we fall apart.
The precipice is yawning, grim, deep black
and down I plunge, my ending and my start.
The forge of stellar flame blows hot, then cold
as melting, sculpted frozen wings unfold
Satan of Witches
Where there is you,
Children of the same house take each other’s life,
The no relatives i cant speak of,
They cut each other like they are cutting grass,
They did when they see you.
You are the real witch who owns the name witch,
Witch of witches and witchcraft is you!
That who brought you into this world,
He created the death,
Like Adam and Eve in the Eden garden
Satan of witches the buyer of everything of this world,
It is because is impossible to chase you away,
You money! if you can disappear,
This world can at least have peace.
Love taketh my heart and soul
it recaptured my trust
never again shall I stand sole
for your love, is lust
I learned not to love
Thy heart cast melancholy melodies inside
Thy love is love that is only loved by the man above
For love isn't a vied
My heart seems to haste
yet I suffered
Unquestionably your love can be replaced
When love comes to push and shove, I defer
As lies come across my ears
As much as my pulverized heart been through
I learned to put off love as it corker, belittlement, and depressed me for years
Thy heart day by day grew
To thee I pledge my love, so still thy ghosts;
The past, a haunting blows, but reapers chill,
And bade we lay within the darkness close,
Me breathless blue, but you so bluer still;
Against my breast shall love be held agone,
As shadowed lovers frost your pouting lips;
To mourner’s winter doth your love belong,
And ne'er summer sun escape eclipse;
Another season blooms, yet bloom thee not;
Alone, a rose, I wither frostbit cold;
My love, a raging fire, is barely hot,
Within a heart, thy promise over sold;
Alas, I lay a corpse within thy crypt;
With regret, thus, I kiss thee purple-lipped.
All you people around!
Now your excitement will grow!
All I’m welcoming you on my puppet show!
Here’s me and my crew,
Now we will entertain –
So you, honorable crowd, never will complain!
All you people out there!
Come sit! Enjoy the play!
If you’re not bored enough – no one make you stay!
Shadows dancing on the wall –
Story that will make you cry;
And all these puppets are mine,
They’re all made for peoples delight,
But I play it day after day,
It brings hell in joys despite…
While the planet goes it round,
Our play you’ll hear the sound!
This puppet is holy, that puppet is damned,
That one is a wolf, this one is a lamb.
Here are the clowns and kings in their darkest hour,
Making them live – how sweet is the power!
I can move them and kill them –
The joy is so true;
If some becomes boring, I’ll find something new.
The curtain rises up and music’s getting loud;
It look’s like shiny trap,
And I can’t make a sound.
I’m blinded by the light – still show is never stops.
I start forgetting lines,
And scream:” Enough! Enough!”
But organ-grinder smiles
And turns a handle rough…
You all will now applause,
You all be screaming: “Wow!”
The curtain’s falling down,
And we come take a bow.
But all that you can see –
To stop is forbidden for me;
And that is a question no more –
Who’s really a puppet inhere…
Today, I felt my soul dying.
A cry of help could be heard
But none could be seen crying
For they class my obsession as shallow and absurd.
Yet I carry on with my daily tasks
To work through this incomprehensible nightmare
Amongst those who carry a veil of emotional masks
Waiting, as those who Love, as those who care.
And I close my eyes to save my mind from this plight
To save my heart from recreating its surroundings
In the hope that others soon see the light
Actioned by those cast from different mouldings.
Slowly, but, steadily,
I can feel my soul dying.
Bitter taste the marriage
The marriage prepared to its date,
The date arrived,
In front of dozens of people,
In front of pastors and advocates,
We tie the knot,
That we are the meat of each other,
Till death do us part,
So sweet the wedding till it date,
And our honeymoon at Mauritius like honeymoon in paradise.
Welcome to the marriage,
We will be happy forever i thought,
Heh!Marriage is too bitter,
That soft smiles are now high serious,
The name honey replaced by name owl,
I missed that kiss that hit my mouth in the presence of the dozens,
I missed to be called sweetheart like it used to be,
I missed to be taken to the picnic,
I missed a sweet smss,
I missed to be lifted and put to bed,
I missed to hear my name to be called every minutes,
The foot messages,
The breakfast in bed,
That soft hand is a hard punch on my face,
From a soft body to a slim body i went,
When the phone rings i know he want to say he is not coming home,
When i cook he doesn’t eat sometimes,
I remember we never forced to get into marriage,
Marriage is bitter,
Sometimes i think of taking my life and...
Marriage is bitter than thought
Tonight the sun has set beneath my feet.
The ground begins to move, but here I stay.
I gaze, with longing, through this empty street;
In sorrow, as I watch you drift away.
Could you have really written, with such ease,
Your venom when, in truth, you are but blind?
Did you not want to bring me to my knees
And smile as I can search but never find?
The time has come when I have heard your lies
And now I know that I was led astray.
I watched you as you climbed upon the skies
And now I, too, shall turn and walk away.
But memories I cannot wash with ease
And still I search and wait for you on my knees.
The bruises hidden from accusing eyes,
When self-esteem becomes a frightened child,
No one to hear the solitary cries.
The broken heart no longer calls the wild,
Instead, it stares with emotionless sight,
For love and passion have been left defiled.
A spirit wanders alone in the night,
Not daring to turn round and look behind,
But now is the time it must stand and fight.
With inner strength, bring vision to the blind,
To leave the broken promises and lies,
Thus taking back the heart, the soul and mind,
From bruises hidden by accusing eyes,
The tears have gone, replaced by joyful cries.
Form: Terza Rima Sonnet
The words of a heart felt letter "I love you I didn’t do it", fading into ashes.
The flames of the hostile words "I know you did it, admit it slut" devouring and edging the pain.
I stand, broken in shattered bits, my heart washed away by the rain.
Words of love actions of hate, "Drew don’t you see that it clashes?"
It is done it is over, turn by turn a wave of relief then despair over me crashes.
Mine, yours, ours, words of love, amore’ it is now my bane.
This heart of mine traveling a one way street in reverse, in the wrong lane.
Togetherness taken for granted in its death throes our relationship thrashes.
The wrath within loosed on a dying soul.
Eternity of blackness snuffs out loves last flicker.
This barrage is not you speaking but the words of your mistress Meth.
Venom of anger and distrust conjured by your other love has taken its toll.
Seething eyes burn me, his stinging tongue whips me with one last snicker.
My affection crumpled my heart empty, descending, and falling, fading, death.
The romance between them female and male,
From her dying inside from all the pain.
Their love like a moon shining oh so pale,
And them thinking they were going insane.
From the late nights of fighting and crying,
To the dates that went wrong in both their ways.
They both found out of each others lying,
And cheating that took place the past few days.
Punching and kicking, being tossed around,
The bruises, the blood, the black-and-blue eyes.
She shouts and screams when she falls to the ground,
The neighbors don't help when they hear her cries.
But on the wedding day nothing is said,
And the truth came out when they found her dead.
We love when where hurt
We burn with out a sound
So when lights give way to the dark
Don't run away
We love when the rain calls
When the nights moan
And time shatters into the ebisk of self consciences
Shattered into pieces and fractions of fractured screams
That echoes through the past, waking the regret we've shunned
And when it comes
Shocked are we
To find a stranger in the pond
Forced in to a submission
Dedicated to my best friend; I'm sorry Laura. May we never have a fallout again...
My deepest apologies my dearest friend,
I hope we are on the mend.
I never meant the words I said,
And to lose you would render my heart dead.
It was all in pain when anger rose,
And every day my guilt grows.
Sorrow clouds my spirit,
Accusations it whispers, I can hear it.
From shallow dreams and haunting nightmare I wake,
I’m afraid I cannot fix this mistake.
Oh can you forgive me,
Or is our friendship not to be?
My heart lurches for the pain I caused you,
My best friend, to make this right again I’ll do what I have to…
Can anybody tell me why I'm here,
Amidst so many people, yet alone?
Why can't I seem to shed a single tear
Nor even find in me that mournful groan?
Why can such hope be snatched from in my grasp
And why did I believe that this would be?
Why didn't such a thing release its clasp
So long ago, when truth was shown to me?
Can someone please explain to me the reason
Why I persist in playing at this game
Of imitating life? Is this the season
To start again or end? Is it the same?
I don't know why it had to go this way
But I need you if I'm to live another day.
I am drowning in my tears
on a strange night as the moon watches.
Voices, still no one can hear,
hollering woes as the wind catches.
Sympathy bursts with misery
when the prized departs and peters out.
I croon the song with downfall melody,
as I hail to the loved, begging ‘bout.
My moon is clothed with murky billows,
can be seen by a hair's breadth.
It rests upon the thorn-puffed pillows
that cut her hair into its shortest length.
Oh, dear moon- the night’s enchantress,
heed my plea: in my arms, rest.
When first the world we enter
We must needs be shaped for use.
Attention then does close upon us centre
Wherein we learn our true selves to lose.
Wrapped warmly in strong belief and prejudice
That is the time we learn to love and hate.
We march on blindly to confront and dismiss
Those whom we ridicule and hate.
When close to the end we approach
With clearer insight we can survey our journey.
Then will our hearts be burning with reproach
At the cruel havoc wrought by our cruel army.
Forgiveness must be our ultimate desire
For all our flaws and faults ,ere we expire.
I was blinded to the autonomy
Of the actions committed in the time
Moonfall hesitated, and did not see
Malice in the eyes that were naught to be mine.
The crescent curves of a smile's sliver;
Indecision of skin, rancid and smooth;
Plush sentences congeal as I quiver;
Thoughts so careless, teeth dripping wir'y sooth.
My sight could not pierce nightfall-scathingly
Battened down were my mind and eyes, depraved
by sour medicine dreams filling me,
Unwillingly, with satire not staved.
The birr which I painted your portrait with
Disenchanted my world, a cause for death.
I should have resisted that deceiving voice
that entrapped me and made me quickly fall...
when silence dominated to conceal noise;
and however sorry I am, I felt tall.
Devil, why did you choose someone so meak...
to do horrible deeds unthought by this mind?
Devil, you hide in dense shadows and peak,
hiding in caves more afraid than a child.
As beautiful things so charming and grand...
temptation led all to wrongdoing,
but without real compassion and feeling,
thoughts clustered together to offend.
That deceiving voice kept on coming back...
alienating friends who looked to me for help.
The younger I was, the quicker and kinder
I responded to love, and believing in sharing,
I spread that kindness to anyone fonder
of my perception that all were deserving.
I gave all and kept nothing to shelter me from fear;
everybody thought I didn't need up-lifting words,
and being left without the courage to ask, I sank deeper
into loneliness being caught up in loveless thoughts.
I yearned for their friendship, but none came...
and by putting on an alluding smile, it didn't help indeed,
because they assumed I wasn't in need;
if only they had known me better, I wouldn't bear this blame!
Even now, being lonely and caught up in loveless thoughts,
desire for happiness doesn't seem stronger than it was!
Sometimes one is too self absorbed to support their spouse,
Too focused on themselves that they can't get their head out of the clouds.
Whatever you both do there should be support from each other,
Because what matters comes from them, not another.
It should be a team effort and making time,
To support you when available unless you're on the grind.
Couples are suppose to chase dreams together,
That's what makes the relationship better.
Being there for them and them there for you,
No matter what you two are going through.
It feels good to know that you have them on your side,
Standing beside you on the bumpy ride.
You might feel like giving up because it gets too tough,
Being there every step of the way cheering is enough.
Include them in what you're trying to accomplish,
Because leaving them out makes you look selfish.
They want to know that you support them in their dreams,
Makes you feel good when they know you're on their team.
It's suppose to be two molding into one,
It's a lot stronger when two are putting both your plans in action.
You might not realize how much just a little support means,
At times it seems to be overseen.
Support your partner in whatever they do,
At the end of the day you will still love them and they will still love you.
I know at times you get caught up in what you're doing,
Don't know if you're coming or going.
Find that equal balance to show them they're not alone,
So their journey towards the future can be set in stone.
It hurts to feel like they don't care about your ambitions,
Because they're too busy with their own mission.
I heed you to stop and think the damage it can cause,
Grab your love by the hand and chase your dreams together like two outlaws.
When it's all said and done and your dreams came true,
It was from your support that kept shining through.
May 02, 2014
~The One and Only~
Tears falling like rain drops
Agony pinching at my heart
A wailing cry, deepening sobs
All because I loved you from the start
Ever since that rainy day
Your smile made feel like a spring's flower
Your laughter warmed me like summer may
Your touch stilled me like winter's shower
Then to tell you how I feel, and make Love complete
Was like running to a cliff's edge
'Cause I loved you so much I'd rather love you in secret
Than to have lost you in an amiss instead
You were my friend I grew fond of for your beauty and your fault
Now a stranger you've become because it was your Love that I sought
As I stroll along
A cobblestone path
A sight to behold indeed
Rows of flowers
Adorn each side
Embrace such beauty to be
My fondest one
That I most gaze upon
Is the one
Angels call Lilly
“When my pain is bleak
And relief is fleeing
My thoughts become weak
“Agony brings infamy
To my heart of pain
And the peace of Christ
Excels my thought of rashness”
“And meds for coping
Lessens my sadness
Lower my woes
Of high distress”
“And peace from within
Derived from up high
Quiet my thoughts
My pen drips of sorrow and on this paper, I write each tear.
My words that flow betray my honor and send me fear.
Never would you know of the dilemma and sorrow I hide.
My soul and desires have reached outward and only cried.
Burdens I have carried and hidden from day of my birth.
Lost and forsaken my spirit never awoken for my worth.
Though I carry onward and deflate my mystery from inside.
They know not of the precious fortitude, courage I hide.
These attitudes I shall carry deeply into my quiet grave.
For to depart any other way, would separate soul to save.
My sorrow of who I have disheartened I carry deep within.
Though I do not feel my quagmire holds any real sin.
These days and nights that I target, from within my life,
Shall someday have a stronghold and be graciously rife.
Sponsor Constance La France ~ A Rambling Poet ~
Contest Name Just Write
written on 08/14/2011
Sweet colors of skys will die
Little girl close your eyes and you will fly
Candy drops of tears will fall
Holding onto promises that no longer excist
Dreams of a dream that happiness is real
Mamma see's your sad eyes, wondering what took the glitter away
Wishing out the fire on the last candle
Wishing to see a new night
Pink,blue,yellow,green balloons I hold
Watching them slip through my fingers forever
Feeling the pain break you apart inside
Believing that the pain is the only memory
Dont let the burning of sunder mark you
A drip of strawberry poison will weaken the pain
Hush Hush the lip's of memory's
And dance till the sun bleed's the last drop
Blood drips from a rose thorn in the spring rain,
your words resonate, humming in my ears.
Love, the cruel word, seeps from my lips in shame
while the bite from your lips has brought me tears.
A wicked game played, my heart, the dice rolled.
I came out the loser, 'tis sad but true.
A cowering heart shall one day be bold,
for now, my colors are fading in blue.
Shall time alone heal the aching within?
You laughed when I shared my adoration.
Days pass with head low, I walk in chagrin.
Your banquet has led me to starvation.
In time, I shall no longer taste your poison.
True love shall free me from this web you have spun.
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, April 14, 2012
for Debbie and Cyndi's Sonneteers Contest
How lonesome be the moon, our Lunar Queen
Depressed in gloom, darling of shallow light
Bouts with the sun we doth not intervene
With Heaven's governess of the dire night
Important be it may never to laugh
Gesticulating her late-evening birth
Her ways mores twenty-nine days and half
Celestial swan revolving round the earth
Inside the firmament of countless stars
Exposed askew in constellations art
In vain she plays a game with moving cars
To substitute the pain consuming tart
What must it be to be what she believes
That to her one compareth dying leaves
Many lifetimes, within a single life,
past memories, of how it used to be.
Continuous change, be it bliss or strife,
folding in on you, turning out on me.
It’s not just time, or how it passes on,
it’s an ever-changing universal plan.
A twist of fate the coming of new dawn,
your spirit knew before it all began.
The loss of a loved one, the birth of a child,
feel it in your soul, know it causes change.
It’s always been there, be it strong or mild,
It’s another lifetime, it’s not really strange.
It can be beautiful; it can be pain to some,
I’ve given it a name; I call it, Blendrome.
I can see within your eyes, the sadness in your soul
I see it crying out in every picture of I have of you
There may be a smile on your face, but I can see the toll
A misery buried deep within, a brightness gone from the hue
Of what secrets are you wary, what burdens do you carry,
That make expressions from your features seem so contrary
That you cannot seem to share, that took away you’re lively flair
Are you that unaware, that I can see to the depths your despair
Release the sadness from your mind,
Open up to a heart that will be kind.
You need not live in that unforgiving world
I await for your gladness to again be unfurled
What ever this misery would be, you need not be alone
And there will be a new picture, after the dark bird has flown.
If only Adam and Eve were still here
There 'd be no need pondering over it indeed
One will die whether you 're afraid or intrepid
No matter how long we live grey hair
Leaving wombs for graves is the whole idea
The old dying is no misdeed
Memories of past of this old woman are vivid
Her grey hair hugs obituary,all humans' affair
It's still like yesterday regardless of longevity
In the mirror,she smiled at her wrinkles
She sees all what did years back in memory
As if they happened fast in few eye twinkles
Rest in peace is written all over face already
Shortly,yesterday's nephews are now uncles
Those yelling voices from various tenements
Sounded like the sad treble of girls
In cellars where leviathans
In a spree flourished forced libidos:
The lasses trembling in rude arms!
Still in their yellow bloom
Pig-watchers of the wider forest
Clad in the swords of midnight warriors
Performed the vicar’s rituals.
A blue hour lamented the gloom!
In the morning more skulls lie
A trash of real weavers!
(Prof, a sad lad heard the tales told!)
Never knew love the way I know it now
Never will I know even when I ask how
She left and that was all
I'm trying desperately to climb outside this wall
I grip the roses stem and blood drips down my wrist
I drop to the floor, put my hands on my forehead while in a fist
We shared an oath from our lips to Gods ears
I placed myself in front of her knife to the heart to quench her fears
It killed me to love and lose
I'm losing sleep so I smash my clock back to snooze
I can't believe I thought she was the one to save me
It turns out she was the one to enslave me
My trust ran deep like blood coursing through her vein
I need to numb the bitter taste so I use novacaine
The thought of her is making my heart race
My walls are gone and now I have too much space
I think my loss is starting to hit me
I can't breathe at the thought that she will forget me
I fall from my knees with my face sideways on the floor
I grip the rose tighter & tell myself I don't want to love evermore
I'm fighting the truth and reality at this time
I'm in too deep, I'm too weak to climb
I feel a cold running through my veins followed by a last chill
My eyes are awake yet my body lie still
The lights are dimming and my life is flashing in spurts
I guess this is what it means when they say love hurts...
Spread your wings,
Then fly away,
You're more loved,
Day after day.
You're so beautiful,
But you're also strong,
If you're caught,
It's not for that long.
You're very brave,
Even when you're afraid,
Your passionate soul,
Will never be able to fade.
So go ahead and fly,
Leave without a goodbye.
Gazing at the moon,
Watching the stars,
Wondering why the end had to come so soon,
Sitting there alone you stare at the scars.
You swore to each other there would no regreting,
Your unending love a secret to keep,
You promised each other there would be no forgetting,
The night you jumped in a little to deep.
Waiting for the sun to rise,
Holding on tight,
Lost in each others eyes,
Hoping that everything will be alright.
Watching the September Sunrise one last time,
Wishing for one last rhyme.
Moving On From Mourning-By Frances Ayers
Why pine for those who have gone to their rest.
They have put away their mortal toil and fears.
In all things of this world,our God Knows best,
for he will soothe our heart and dry our tears.
On another plane we will find what we’ve lost,
for our mortal life is slipping away.
At times giving little thought to the cost,
for worry and sorrow will waste the day.
But sadness must end,as our days go by,
leaving little time to dwell on the past.
We remove any pain.only after we cry,
as our memories give us hope to last.
After a life well lived, we meet our fate
We meet our loved ones at the pearly gates.
The autumn frosts strike suddenly
and blight the last remaining few.
Sweet peas which have so cheerfully
improved my outlook and my view.
I’m very sad to see them go.
It seems unfair that they must die
although deep inside I know
they must: I know the reason why.
They have put on their bravest show
and stored their images inside
their seeds. Which will next season grow
and spread their offspring far and wide.
Although I’m sad I can still smile
I’ll only miss them for a while.
Your green eyes, O! how they haunt me,
You daughter of Persephone, you angel of night,
Whose silence bleeds mine heart, whose very sight
Entangles my limbs in a web, unfree
Without thee. Your cloudy visage I cannot see,
You Morpheus, intruder of my nights,
Of my dreams, as I climb after you to
Heights that I slip upon and fall to the sea,
The flat sea of static, of hundreds of pixels.
But you lift me from the waveless waters
Before you vanish in white again,
Before I can taste your sweet morphine lips.
Kristen, Kristen, should I not bother?
Will we ever share blood, a kindred skin?
My Life, we both know I was born insane
to love so much the face of coming Death,
but He has sat with me when self-contained
and chantingly he counted out my breaths.
I cannot dine when hunger’s always sour
and gorge myself on someone else’s heart,
this time I’ll ride behind the darkest hour
and bid the burdens of my mind depart.
Fool Life, I'm sure you'll find a new someone
to treat you as a greater, blessed prize
than I who've never sponsored laughter’s son
and scorned the forked lights touching, night-paused eyes.
Ah, Life, I never loved you from the start
and yet you stalk my heavy, haunted heart!
Goose bumps rise upon my back as I walk.
Exiting the world I once knew, leaving.
I need to open my mouth and talk.
Trying to start something new by achieving.
Oh, how sad to see them all leave and go.
Holding one another in their arms.
Now it is our time to live and grow.
Always holding on to our good luck charm.
Like a bird flying away from its nest.
Looking for a new home to land in.
You will go east and I will go west.
Going to a new place to start, begin.
When I look up I see their green gowns,
And the tears from their faces’ run down.
Fabled proud towers across the Aegean
Sheer walls never breached;
From far-off Hellas rarely seen
Till by the angry Greeks full-reached.
Burnt and humbled, a culture erased.
After ten years the city strong-walled
Was obliterated, washed away, effaced -
And history was appalled.
So also the Atlantis, Cumorah,and Inca delirium
Drowned in the flow of time,
Killed in their flowering, like Illium :
Such cultural perfection sublime.
The tide of history washes and cleans
Leaving no trace of stillborn might-have-beens
Middle age men, look in this clear mirror
and spot those gray strands of hair:
they may seem ugly, but they bring wisdom;
look again, you are still vibrant,
and accomplish more than those who won't dare:
tell them to live as you have...
Lines on these foreheads are the furrows that
make us so conscious of our existence,
and death is not far from life's painful truth;
we think of the future as a time yet to come,
but we live it this very moment...not realizing it:
and with spirit and courage, we race to stay alive...
Each year another gray hair is added to our increasing age;
can we accept mortality, and not reject discontent and rage?
Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
Life’s sharpest sunrays pierced the sky each morn,
bright talons tear away my empty calm
and my dilated eyes resent the thorns
applied by cheer of golden, cayenne palms.
I wish the night would rise and still prevail
provide asylum for me in the dark
upon this bed of hopeless, dead entrails
amidst the rot of useless, meatless parts.
Let maggots make a meal of desperate pain
and mortal leeches sip while blood is warm.
My limbs are limpid and my will near drained
as your effusive feeders flock in swarms.
Ah, Life, I never loved you from the start
and yet you stalk my heavy, haunted heart!
As much as I wish this frigid season
Would change into warmer days of springtime.
I can’t help feeling sad for some reason:
Ruefulness within my subconscious mind.
It might be the ending of snowball fights
Where I was the children's adversary;
Or perhaps it was those cold winter nights
When we all sang carols and was merry.
Whatever might be the reason for it
I guess I will never really know why.
Therefore it shall remain indefinite
In the recesses of my mind. Time flies
By so fleetingly season to season
A little sadness lingers from each one.
A saddest song within me idly pursed
Is lodged in lyrical melancholy.
A muted voice attempts to sing a verse
But only soundless words escape from me.
Its somber composition might as well
Be blank without a pleasing melody.
The lyrics are lost as sinners in Hell.
The couplet verses filled with self-pity.
An aria within my doleful soul;
A piece that never will be heard by ears.
A single opus creation, surreal
And limited, saddening with no tears.
A song without a voice to sing it's sad
Refrain-enough to drive me raving mad.
I need release my heart has gown too thin,
I've fought so long I can't bear try again.
Depression drew me to Death even when
a child still dwelled beneath infernal skin.
Oh, wrest the earth back from my hollow bones
and press my spirit back into the dust,
please let my tides of pulsing blood alone,
become a stagnant pool in fleshy husk.
My ears are burned by merry, hopeful breaths,
my gut clenched within fists of Future’s grief.
I know you know I fancy joining Death
for he would strike my knowledge, give relief.
Ah, Life, I never loved you from the start
and yet you stalk my heavy, haunted heart.
The womb was dark and I was less than live
I often reveled in corrupted dreams
that I would breech the world but not survive
and save my guiltless breath from useless screams.
A mortar binds my lashes blacking days
so I might contemplate my wraith and sin.
So many seek a birth and righteous ways
but I would find more joy if you were dim.
My Life, what cause have you to plague me more,
When all I’ve ever wanted equals none?
What purpose is there trying to restore
a spark that never sought to be begun?
Ah, Life, I never loved you from the start
and yet you stalk my heavy, haunted heart!
Cruel Life, I still await the constant love
of Him, an epic, Alabaster Wraith
to rise heroic on the still walls of
another midnight void of futile faith.
We've met before on dark and deadly nights
when every hopeful sap was sleeping still,
and when I wept for strength to try to fight
he sat ‘till Dawn intruded from the sill.
So many times I've come to die and gone
perhaps to him I seem a passing waif.
This time I swear I shall not see the dawn,
I will not leave my Alabaster Wraith.
Ah, Life, I never loved you from the start
and yet you stalk my heavy, haunted heart!
My Life! I didn’t choose to find your flaws
but you persisted and pursued my mind,
enlisting Men to write me decent laws,
demanding I leave questions far behind.
Weep not a tear when I have passed you by
for I’d not spare for you the same in turn.
Remember nothing more than how much I
resented lessons you decreed I learn!
It’s not a matter of dislike, but hate,
that I would die to claim my precious Wraith
Before I’d choose to live another day
in skewed illusions of your packaged Faiths.
Ah, Life, I never loved you from the start
and yet you stalk my heavy, haunted heart!
Sitting here listening to voices unclear,
Not knowing why she does what they say,
She sits down and listens in fear,
Holding herself, she will try wishing them away.
She tries to reason with the voices,
She says they’re not really there,
They say she has two choices,
She argues that’s not fair.
Her parents think she’s crazy, they worry that she’s lost it,
It causes too much pain for her to see the tears in their eyes,
They fear that one day her wrists she will slit,
She knows now that they see through her smiling disguise.
Her mind the Devil will rape,
As she plans her sweet suicide escape.
I see the fields before me being turned from green to brown
And the trees which lie with each leaf with a frown,
'What sin have we committed' as if they speak
Along with the left ones standing like thin sticks.
Like deep cuts- the deep reels as if they seem -
Like slicing off from a cake it's cream.
In heaps they lie resembling the slaughter
And it hath tirned wry the earth's laughter.
What's the colour of earth,it doth appear from moon,
Whatever it be its into change eftsoons,
Bellows are riding above the land -
Without the greenness the land is nothing but sand.
With the wind thee wrap us in thy lap;Oh!Nature massive -
I regret on part of those who make the process passive.
Sitting here reminiscing about the past,
Thinking about the mistakes I’ve made,
Wondering if the pain will last,
It’s all the product of a trust mislaid.
Feeling the scars from a pain long subdued,
Unending sorrow buried underneath a false smile,
Never to show my true mood,
For other to know my feelings would be vile.
Carrying this burden forever more,
Not knowing how to fix my error,
Knowing I’ll never be able to close this door,
I must continue to live with this terror
Reminiscing about the past,
Hoping the pain will not last.
The game is over, you win; I willingly throw in my hand
The cards have been stacked in your favor, exactly as you planned
I know the stakes were high and maybe I folded way too fast
But I no longer want to play this game; a game I know will never last
I’ve already lost too much and more I cannot spare
So no longer deal the cards my way, the game was never fair
I’ll count my blessings early and leave this table of deceit
For a game already prejudged is a game I cannot defeat
A sore loser I’m not; I’m just tired of a game with the same outcome
Petty to most of the players; highly important to the lecherous some
I would have stayed in had the cards been properly shuffled right
Instead I saw the cheating displayed, clearly within my sight
So game over, I fully renege and completely throw in my hand
I’m starting my own new game; one where it’s not already preplanned
Fair, consistent and honest; my game will entail all of this
Entertaining each new player; this table of love will never dismiss
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
No one understands what I’ve been through
I have no friends but many enemies
The pain that I have caused still holds true
Worlds are full of people I am to please.
The razor blade slides across my wrist
The red liquid drips down my shaking hands
My head convinces me I won’t be missed
My sleeping mind brings me to far off lands.
The end looms nearer as the light grows bright
The pearly gates above stand wide open
St. Peter sees my name and his face light
The gates are waiting and I proceed in.
Heaven is the place I am to last
My scar filled wrists remind me of my past.
Your resentment bites as the frigid sea
In a frozen arctic land.
The initial encounter brings agony
That no human could sainly withstand.
The breath from my lungs is harshly exhaled,
And goose bumps plague my pale skin.
The pain that your anger first had unveiled
Is replaced by a numbness within.
My muscles are stiff, I can no longer fight
This war that you have begun.
I try to yell out and curse you despite
The fact that my struggle is done.
Your bitter words have no more control.
This death will free my broken soul.
Sun vultures circle fresher, greener prey
from shadows edged with Death’s esthetic claws
and yet, the break of dawn decrees I stay
and leaves me pinched in your cold, rigid jaws.
Too many hours it takes for me to waste
the golden coin that blisters my raw soul,
when all I crave is just one final taste
of nectar filling Midnight's lidded bowl.
Each night I know my truest dream is near,
for I can feel Him soothe my sunburned eyes
His lethal crowl and horse on Death's frontier
allows me to envision my demise.
Ah, Life, I never loved you from the start
and yet you stalk my heavy, haunted heart.
On a hilltop I first met my True Love
Dashing and chivalrous was he
I could only surmise that he was sent from above
Valiant and courageous and wild and free
Words of love he spoke so dear
Oh, how I longed for more
My heart grew soft and not of fear
While my heat burned at the core
In the sky a cloud appeared
The rain poured down that day
My True Love vanished, disappeared
And with it my happiness slipped away
Broken hearts and shattered dreams
If only my True Love heard my screams
Some songs are sad songs: dum de dum dum dum.
Others are cheerful: tra la la la ling
And people are the same. Some may become
A sadden lot, see gloom in everything.
And then there are the opposite, see joy
In what life brings. They dance to different drums.
The sad do dum de de dum de de hooey
The merry do Tra la la la tra umm
The moral of this poem is: The Earth
Is our home and we love it, no matter
Who we might be. Our self-defining worth
Depends if we get along together.
So lets tra la dum de umm tra de
And try to live our lives in harmony.
Why do I love her? I can’t count on toes
And fingers like how Browning could not bear.
Nothing but Trouble- she seems not to care
About my Fatigue, my friends, or my foes.
Anxiety lurks- I shake when she goes.
Nervousness lingers- blankly not I stare.
She’s not here, she’s not nice; Life is not Fair!
Why do I love her from feet above nose?
Why? The answer scurries across the mind!
Pen I the insight: You’re beautiful; I
Love you is unsuitable. And those eyes!
Time, Space has seen none worthier than thy!
-Subfusc. Memories always can I find.
Cerebrum sees no snow; Heart holds all ties.
Representation you do depict
Of a crafty liar who does subsist
Can’t keep focused in any type of thought
In fear of being noticed, in fear of being caught
A figure so grand, yet honesty you lack
Stature so appealing; strangers you do attract
Charisma and charm attached as well
Don’t get too close for dishonesty they’ll smell
Reeking of deceitfulness; the aroma engulfs you whole
Never believing the price you’d pay would be your entire soul
So go ahead and fool them; portray yourself as who you’re not
For all your lies will catch up with you and never be forgot
It’s amazing how your contentious has no remorse to show
It’s astounding how your dignity has vanished ever so slow
So go ahead and fool them for I know who and what you are
The time is nearing quickly for all that charm to unwittingly disbar
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
Gave in again to your weak promises and lies
What was I thinking; what a shocking surprise
One can only say I’m sorry just so much
Before your apologies are forgotten as so is your touch
Cruel dominating and obnoxious; remorse is vainly unseen
A split personality; one loving, one an intolerable fiend
My patience is thinning as my love for you sadly as well
How could you not see the signs, how could you not tell?
I’ve always dismissed gossip; giving you the benefit of a doubt
That their perceptions were mistaken and your meanings were devout
But love they say is blind and I’ve lived in darkness for far too long
For what they spoke was truthfulness; I was the one who was wrong
This sickening pain I feel in my heart will fade as time goes by
Remembering your insensitivity and how many times you made me cry
So thank you for giving me the courses on how to be isolated and alone
You gave me the strength I needed to commence into the fearful unknown
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
Oh what superficial facades we build
So featureless in this menagerie filled
Oppressing humanitarians and the like
Hysterically mocking honesty divine
Brutally molesting innocence in kind
Blindly we follow fools gold
Materials we tower and uphold
Savagely flouting righteousness athrust
Unappreciating sincerities must
And pouncing on words so true
What unhappiness we must imbue
Alas I slowly bid morals adieu
Shedding all values true
Realising the world anew
Why must I lay here barren and wasted
What beauty don’t you see in my being?
You’re rejecting the fruit you have tasted
On deaf ears fall the cries I am pleading
You say your attraction to me is deep,
For you there will never be another
So why does my poor heart every night weep
Because you refuse to be my lover;
How can I make you understand clearly
Has this love become stale and bittersweet?
As I let my blood pour out it’s merely
A hollow attempt ending in defeat
How cruel is the heart armored in malice
Just like a bitter end; cold and callous
It's sad that your love couldn't be true to you
And I know you struggled so hard and long.
But life sometimes in the end can turn blue
And there are times when some things can go wrong.
But don't blame yourself for all of this mess
For you it wasn't just written in the stars.
And some things are not meant to be for us
But don't lose hope for your dreams can't be far.
Today you cry for lost dreams and their cost
But I hope your tears are gone by tomorrow.
You'll see that not all is completely lost
Pray you find in the night the light that glows.
Be strong and keep your chin high all the while
Smile and never stop dreaming thru your struggle.
Dorian Petersen Potter
Save your excuses, say no more
I’ve heard everyone; all thousand and four
I can no longer hear you; I’m deaf in both ears
Drained of emotions, unable to shed any tears
I’ve lost the appeal of attraction to you
You’re simply a name, without any rue
Greed and hunger devouring you alive
How will you manage, you haven’t the drive?
You say it will all be worth it finally in the end
As I suffer alone, without your hand to lend
Moneys what matters, not the love that we hold
Let’s buy what we can, before we get too old
More precious trinkets and toys to satisfy your need
Of a monetarily obsession of lustful economic greed
How much more do you need, will this reign ever end?
Your tyranny of wealth thus far and ability and need to spend
At what price did we suffer for your insatiable plausible pose?
A beautiful fairytale love affair disappearing as we inevitably close
I hope your appetite for gain was worth it and hunger you feel no more
For the price you paid was solitude as your family painfully walks out the door
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
Is it a sin to say I hate you?
Even if this is how I feel?
Lack of remorse and empathy
Your reactions simply unreal
I was raised never to say this
With morals and values emplaced
But I cannot help to feel this
My life with you is such a total waste
I hate you more than anything
This feeling I cannot hide
You see it when I look at you
So foolish, tossing it to the side
I was raised to be better than this
And never to say hurtful things
A sin to me would be hiding
The hate inside and what it brings
So yes I definitely hate you
Everything little thing you portray
I hope you have a good back up plan
This trial is over, my life begins today
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
Insecurities I cannot help but to hold
Such a beautiful woman; this I am told
But all the compliments cannot dismiss
The feeling of disgust that obsessively exists
Accusations and threats frequently alleged
Hating myself, going crazily over the edge
Rage compensating my desire for friendliness
Painfully awaiting a sensational tenderness
Rarely finding comfort, mostly finding disarray
Remaining as I was before; reportedly replayed
Proclaiming change is nearer than it ever was before
Desperately locked frame of mind; somebody open the door
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
I just want to go home
And start my life again
Not as a grown woman
But as a child with no pain
I want to be with my family
Who will care for me tenderly
Who’ll permit me to have a voice
And allow me to just be me
I don’t want to be a grown woman
Nor the responsibilities now in place
I want to be able live my life freely
I want to go home and try to retrace
I’m clearly begging for affection
Something I’m not receiving at this time
Please allow me to come home again
My disposition is purely sublime
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
Reality sacred and carefree
Fatality broken and fancy free
It hurts to be me
It hurts for you to see
all the pain I put myself through
Crawling through the disdain
and I still can't get to you
Even after all my pain
Bleed a thousand tears
Need to rid myself of these fears
It cannot bear
It cannot compare
To the pain I endure
Just to stay pure
She bleeds in ink
Writes in blood
She's at the brink
of falling victim
She cuts with verbs
and sings with glass
she cries herself to sleep
And prays for the depression to pass
Water runs in her veins
to subside her emotional pains
she falls victim to decadence
She bleeds ink and cries blood
she never had a chance of staying victim
Everyone’s heard the line of being second best
My scenario is different; I’m third in this contest
The contest of affection from our parents as we grew
Competition of siblings; conclusion too painful to pursue
The winner hands down is the youngest child residing in this roost
No responsibility for his actions, yet an approving constant boost
Baby and cherish him, for he’s the focus of this competitive scene
Always taking whatever he wants, a daily addictive routine
Second place is the oldest; the perfect child he’s portrayed
An empathetic serene individual, a respectful triumphant crusade
By no means doing any wrongs; his mind completely in tact
A confidant rational being; always causing the most immaculate impact
Coming in last; the loser is here with problems too many to bare
The third best child, invisibly seen; always in constant despair
I love being the loser if that’s what you ultimately see in me to be
For I know the contest was already judged, long before you recognized me
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
A troubled mind; a troubled soul
You show no remorse or any regret
Those hateful words you bellowed that day
Are tearful words I’ll never be able to forget
Your mental psychosis and misery within
Are the exact same traits I share with you
The only difference between you and me
Is the hate you illustrated; I could never do
As we grew up we had our little quarrels
Just as brothers and sisters frequently do
But never once did you see in my eyes
The hatred and disgust I sadly saw in you
My heart keeps telling me to forgive you
And remember exactly who and what we are
But your inconsistencies and irrational patterns
Have left me frightened and forever scarred
Frightened to give you my trust once more
As I reluctantly have so many numerous times
So I’ve decided to close this chapter in my life
Saying Goodbye is my piercing heartfelt ending rhyme
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
Her love was now gone, to death, departed
So young, so innocent, why must he go
It was their lives, she thought they had started
But, now buried, under deaths winter snow
It was their plan, the priest, he was certain
Had given a vile for her to then drink
To awaken, to see him, t’was their plan
Alas, he lies there, with never a wink
Oh pain! This could not have really happened
His blood on the ground with sword by his side
If only it went just as they had planned
She holds him now close while starting to cry
Her life, she then takes. No living without
Tale of true love, is what this is about
Exhausted now, she lays her head
Upon the pillow soft and white
To close her eyes, where tears were shed
While whisp’ring soft, “My love, goodnight”
Her heart, it pined, it ached despite
The words he said, when last they spoke
For more than words, her need this night
To feel his love; on passion, choke
For naught, her pillow drenched with tears
As distance wedges lover’s bliss
This way, too long, too many years
She wants him here, to place a kiss
Will distant love one day prevail
Or, will their love so destined, fail?
Antagonize sweetness with one of your smiles
trailing on moonbeams of words
frozen in icicle rainbows for miles
suspended and left undisturbed
Ribbon me whispers of sweet nothingness
Sing me an ocean or two
There are no colors comparing to this
for my eyes are blinded for you
Treasure our youth and devour the days
taking the plunge once or twice
Breaking devotion in so many ways
with sweetness gone frozen to ice
We are the moment that love turns to infinite pain.
We are the children of posters in love to refrain.
If I could take back
Everything I said
I’d do it in a heart beat
Retracting every single thread
If I could erase the words
And place them where they belong
My eraser would then dissipate
As I feverishly erase the wrong
If I could turn back the clock
And reluctantly go back into time
I would think about the consequences
Of writing a hurtful rhyme
But reversing time isn’t an option
So I’m searching for another mode
To be able to say to you “I’m sorry”
I give you this single pleading ode
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
It wasn’t much to look upon
A page of simple words
Blown along to twist anon
A rage of thoughts un heard
Caught at last on leafless twigs
To tear and flex with ease
A shout of torn and tortured truths
Flapping in the breeze
Bitter litter caught by
Naked Winter trees
A token memory of
Composed discarded feelings
Yesterday, I saw my buddy, he was with his daddy
On their yard, together happily playing, the rugby
While I stood near at the iron gate, I heard his father
Telling him, of his love and belief, that he should gather
My admiration goes for his father, in him, he’s laid
Brave boys, don’t cry, it is only a girlish thing, he said
I envy my friend of his time with his father, they talked
And having great time, of being together, so I walked
Out, from the scene, without disturbing their family time
While inside me, hate’s mustering, for my own has no rhyme
Today, when I saw my friend, like dried meat, in his coffin
I thought his father have lived with conscience, for his own teen
My old buddy had an intriguing hole, on his forehead
He was only 12 years old, and now, tears for him I shed
Walls filled with memories of yesteryears galore
A painted rugged picture I’d never seen before
Regretful ignorant actions portrayed on display
Of a remorseful shallow entity induced to betray
Trinkets, awards and certificates also nil to show
Of activities and achievements as you watched me grow
Photographs are missing, no proof on hand to confirm
A struggling distraught adolescent; no conscious left to affirm
Was I ever special to you or was I simply just another face
For my wall of space seems empty; was I that much of a disgrace?
I walked the Hall of memories in search of one positive set
But all I found was disappointment and a shameful recurring regret
So I bow my head and look down at the straps upon my heels
Never glancing upwards, humiliated by what the hall revealed
A non existent being with a past so invisibly out of sight
A disgraceful putrid portrait of bitterness and infinite contrite
As I walk The Hall of Shame, dreadfully longing for the end
Taste of dishonor overwhelming my soul as you continue to condescend
Then I saw a beautiful ray of light and a loving hand did then appear
Guiding me thru this empty past; my humiliations seeming to disappear
As he softly takes me by the hand and begins to take the lead
My fingertips still search the walls for any past accommodating deeds
For one swift moment I saw a glimpse of my previous glorious days
The Hall of Shame disappearing; finally recognizing my talented displays
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
I cried for you with tears and tears
I cried for you through a maze of years
I pour my heart in these lifeless pages
Trying to recover some semblance of saneness
My heart has evolved into a life of its own
My words have stung but they too have grown
My legs no more walk with the ease they once had
My face no more shows the blush of the glad
I know what you've been through all the years
All the hateful words, the stinging tears
I recall the sounds, the stifling of cries
I remember the days your tears I dried
I love you today more than ever before
Yet I'm helpless to assist you I woefully implore
I felt the symptoms starting
There was nothing I could do
Other than up my dosage some
Instead of ingesting one, taking two
That didn’t seem to matter
I felt the rage beginning to mount
The irritating aura surrounding me
My control I must take into account
Raged and manically inhabited
Trying feverishly to maintain control
I lost it as fast as I wished it
Anger completely solely on patrol
Crying isn’t going to help me
Nor are my silent pleas out of mouth
Severe repercussions of my actions
Regret and sorrow leading me south
As far south as my feet can take me
Escaping this cruel mental shame
Leading me to another side of darkness
A place where no one will remember my name
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
I’m not perfect and make mistakes
Yes I have a temper and things may break
My moods are intolerable; this I agree
But why is it so hard to accept and love me?
I’m your only daughter a bond should be
But we’ll never have that; I now finally see
You choose your favorites and criticize me
While all I’ve searched for is love from thee
I no longer care what you think I am
I no longer care; your love has been a scam
All I’ve done in life has never been good enough
Your motherly caresses; still always being tough
But thank you mother for the lessons on how to be a mom
I’ve watched obediently; your lack of motherly charm
I’m special too mom, although you may disagree
I’ve thrown away my longing of an unheard weeping plea
One is the golden child; the one who can do no wrong
The other is your baby; codependent while feeding him all along
I’m the mediocre child; always invisible to those beautiful eyes
How could you turn your head in vain, not hearing my painful cries?
So don’t be proud and love me for the creation you did make
I’ve exhausted all dead end avenues; my need for you was my mistake
I still love you mom, even though my heart is torn apart
But I’m a big girl now and the time has come for us to depart
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
How could you not defend my grace?
You my brother and father in haste
Protection you should have given to me
Instead of a false pretension of the incapability to see
Loyalty you possess amidst your modest private group
How much pain do I endure, how low must I stoop?
Allowing your only daughter and sister to be mauled
Your loyalty is selective; why am I so stupidly appalled?
It’s never been a surprise to me that I’m the lesser one
Even all my achievements; I’m still the one who’s shunned
Where’s the unconditional love all of you have preached about?
Were they just pacifying remarks; pretending not to shut me out?
I’m ashamed and infuriated that neither one of you
Would defend my honor and sensibility; simply you withdrew
Family is supposed to protect each other until the bitter end
Had I been wearing the shoe that fit, your reputation I would defend
But I wasn’t shown that privilege, was I my faithful kin?
I was shown a simple remiss of another troubled sin
Well time has come to show me that were clearly drifting apart
A father who refused to shield his daughter; a person simply forgot
I’ve made my peace and understand that I’m no longer your little girl
But in my heart you’re still my daddy and my emotions are in a whirl
My aching heart is in disarray for I know what the future brings
The disappointed invisible one, no longer feeling your shameless stings
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
Take a stroll through your past life
It’s horrifying isn’t it, what you’ve found?
A past that continually haunts you
Choices made irresponsibly unsound
Now take an in-depth look again
Dismiss the prejudice you possess
So much conflict and anger
A learned behavior to be my guess
Someone poisoned your thoughts
Teaching you chauvinistic displays
Someone taught you incorrectly
Without prejudice was never a way
Take an unprejudiced look at your life now
And all that you’ve become
Don’t be foolish and fall under
Her bigotry; you’re under her thumb
Remain unbiased and always remember
All the fairness I’ve preached to you
Approach each person without prejudice
For the next one to be judged, could be you
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
Opened the door foolishly; welcomed you home again
Promising me that this time a newborn man you’ve been
Your criticizing, cynical nature have vanished, left without a trace
Sensitivity, kindness and compassion; characteristics now in place
Anger and temperament have dissipated; this I swear to you
No longer the tyrant of conflict and now know what I must do
Words so easily spoken from a man who can’t bare an nth of remorse
A newfound saga slowly diminishing on his self-destructive course
Promises are meant to be broken and you are the champion of this
Actions speak louder than vocabulary and as always a typical remiss
Obnoxious, boisterous and controlling; change you have not made
Assurances from a master manipulator; broken oaths of promises betrayed
Aggressive approaching stature, disregarding the ones proclaiming to love
Loyalty and commitment vanishing; as I pray to the Heavens’ above
Lord please stop this abuse and cruelty; keep me safe and sanely sound
For this troubled man will not leave me; he’s honor is not loyally profound
Please provide the guidance I need to rebuild this broken soul
My faithfulness is diminishing and I’m pleading to once again be whole
Your child I am perpetually and the air I breathe is because of you
Please my Lord remove this man, his departure is well overdue
© Stacy Lynn Stiles
It comes without warning
Like a fierce tidal wave
Rushing to swallow me up
And send me to my grave.
The anquish, the despair
Flood into my mind
I never see them coming
And no help can I find.
There is no safety net
Life jacket, or raft
To keep me from drowning
In it's destructive path.
There's a fight on inside
A battle I'll try to win
God, make my strength last
To fight the demons within.
For now it is dark
I'm all alone out here
Can't see what's coming
I'm blinded by my tears.
I'm treading water though
No drowning tonight
I'm exhausted from battle
But for now I've won the fight.
No one is ever aware
Of the huge, ugly storm
I set sail thru so often
Always in perfect form.
I wish I could tell all
The stories of my seas
But to speak them aloud
Would bring me to my knees.
The haunting memories
Always sailing so near
Come crash into me hard
Leaving me broken from fear.
But I do weather the storm
For a day, a week, or more
I may be weak and weary
But I've made it to shore.
My reprieve is temporary
I must repair the damage
For I fear another may come
Just as brutal and as savage.
Until then I'll fill each moment
Sharing all the love within me
For one day comes a shipwreck
That will vanish me in the sea.
Tears fall like rain from his eyes,
trying hard to drown his sorrow,
Where once there were clear blue skies,
now left facing another gray tomorrow,
Left feeling alone and empty once more,
The Dreamer stands with his heart in his hands,
as another love walks out the door,
A flame that once burned vibrant and strong,
has now become just a dying ember,
A heart that sang a joyous song,
now as cold as the snow in December,
Left behind now just another memory,
The Dreamer cries, As he tries,
to hold onto his dream,
A man once so full of joy and love,
who cherished each and every tomorrow,
Now stares at the rain clouds up above,
and tries to hold back his sorrow,
He gave his heart to a love so true,
truly the best he had ever known,
The Dreamer goes on as tine goes on,
in our memories he will always roam.
Past loves emerge and bloom at autumn’s heart
Quick’ning with the blow and crunch of leaves.
The life has left the earth and made us part
To go our separate ways when seasons meet.
For o’er the planets face the way is strewn
With bits of death once living in the skies.
For they’ve all seen the later harvest moon
And dread the looming, chilly, longer nights.
The noise of crunching temps the jovial sorts
Who long for the destruction of the past.
The woeful cry is made for others’ sport
Who know old things are never blessed to last.
Seek not a way in which to make amends.
The way will only crunch, it will not bend.