Open eyed, long tearless, foul silvered orbs
have you no pity? The aqua tide rides dry.
Blind staring scorches, accusing twin barbs
who burrow inward, a destiny to decry.
Scattered rendering, puzzled pieces aligning;
"Please mercy has a place, why can't I cry?"
Remove the cataract veneer, stop my pining
"Have you no place for maddened souls such as I?"
Nailed to the boards you see a canvassed psyche
dabbed upon a casein shroud in hues most bright.
"How many lamp lit days will you seek to find me?"
The light betrays me and I live in eternal fright.
Eternities unfold in Lovecraft Tales
upon the silvered side within my eyes; hell wails.
When pain hits hard, you might feel like your soul
is bleeding out, but there’s no blood to see.
Your body is the part that takes the toll,
and physically you feel the agony.
Perhaps the pain goes to your heart as though
a knife has sliced right through it, or you feel
it in your gut as if you took a blow.
No cut or bruise is shown, yet it is real!
When both the body and the spirit seem
to reach their limit, tears are overdue.
You have to let those tears go! Let them stream
and carry out the bitterness for you.
An empty tissue box becomes the sign
that soon, and hopefully, you will be fine.
A Demon Confesses
I shun the light and do so cast the stone,
rot the meat , ravenously eat the bone
Cut my way deep in every man that falls,
eat my thrills as my victim mercy calls!
Shadows, adorning my cloaks worn with pride,
once entered I rot the mind as I ride
Pain and agony my pets serve so well,
my purpose, sending 'em all right to Hell!
Long claws my daggers I do finely shine,
accept my gifts, your soul then is all mine
Dark laughter is my sweet joy letting loose,
long is you wail, your head is in my noose!
I too, serve my dark master very well
loyal demon, freed from the bowels of Hell!
no date- Edited today, shortened to a sonnet
written so very long ago!
A taste of dark,
demons a reality so very stark,
I write safely within this brilliant light
spewing truth out to win another great fight..-08/24/2014
When you miss a child,
Of your very own,
That is your flesh and blood,
You begin to wonder,
Where did you go wrong,
In your own life,
Instead of looking,
At the beautiful life,
This you must remember,
So many of the difficult times,
Cause of the times you did share together,
For your children will remember more,
Than you really want to give them credit for,
And they will always remember you,
As their loving parent,
For loving them so much,
More than you will ever know,
And you will never forget them,
Just as you hope,
You will never be forgotten,
From their lives,
I awaken to a new day once more
The loneliness still tears my world apart
Summer days spent walking along the shore
There is a constant pain inside my heart
A solemn sunrise, just another day
Memories take me to another time
The anguish I feel never goes away
Each day is another mountain I climb
My arms reach out in the still of the night
When I wake I’ll find them empty again
I long for those days when it all was right
I feel my tears as I remember when
Emptiness as I face each tomorrow
A solemn sunrise brings pain and sorrow.
The thicket moves, my aim must not waver;
with strengthened arms I bend my bow of yew:
My eyes pierce the brush, intent to savor
the sights of a good hunt, an arrow true.
The bracken parts, rattling, empty sighs;
My draw fingers quake from the constant chill.
My quarries' breath floats to the clouded sky,
my own breath muffled as I track my kill.
Overhead, an arrow in deadly arc
speeds toward the bear I'm seeking, still as stone;
A shadow moves, the arrow strikes its mark.
The hand that loosed the shaft was not my own.
I am a man shadowed; death comes knocking:
The hunter hunted; the past comes stalking.
My love for her was oh so strong;
Her very love defined me;
I thought our relationship would be long;
Now its gone, lost like a sailor at sea.
Her beauty was as a goddess;
I am not sure how we even came to be;
But as it turns out I was less;
She got bored, went to men other than
This act destroyed my very soul;
I was crushed, heartbroken, and alone;
I've gotten over this, I'm better
Now she's apologizing, now she wants to
I don't know what she thinks she sees;
That miserable woman won't be getting
back with me.
A wounded heart cries, fills its lonely glass
Held, caressed by the anguished hands of sorrow
Hoping memories last, as tears trespass
To rebuild the temple love did borrow
Pouring eyes awash in long thinning streams
Their sadness a relentless rolling wave
Upheaval from within choking the dreams
Leaving nothing to remember or save
Lost in the rushes and chained to the pain
The heart is bleeding from wounds it conveys
While scattered momuments crumbled from strain
Lay dying, in the garden of yesterday
To find one breath shared with the pain now kept
And feel the wounded heart when love has wept
I saw her sitting there looking real sad
Tears that flow down her wet face very bad
Each teardrop exists with some great moist streaks
She has a violent reaction so bleak
Tears move from her bloodshot eyes down her cheeks
Quickly flows at first, then slower it seeks
Looks for that way out from the pain she holds
Love is what she seeks now, out from the cold
I surely give her some space she desired
Then I break this silence as she required
She reached out to me as I approached her
Her tears slow down now, they almost defer
Her face is tenderly wet from the tears
We’ll hold each other for many more years
At times we all need a good cry,
To let loose what's been bottled up inside.
A single tear is all it takes to release the hurt,
The tears give us some kind of comfort.
Just a single drop of water is all it takes,
To try and heal the wounds from a heartache.
A single tear can hold so much pain,
Misery or from happiness you've gained.
Fallen tears from the people we loved who've died,
The only thing we can do is cry,
Tears from moving on and saying goodbye,
The memories you shared and you're still asking yourself why.
Tears hold so many emotions,
Sometimes tears show what we fail to mention.
Tears are like waterworks that come pouring out,
Often we have to ask what you're crying about.
Tears cleanse the soul and ease the mind,
It helps to leave all the sadness behind.
Tears from being in love are great,
And for that there's no reason to debate.
May 09, 2014
~The One and Only~
To in love with him but playing his heart,
don't know what i want from love,don't know how to love with my heart.
don't know how to love with my heart,
i love with mind.
Afraid to love with my heart,
afraid of the consequence that might come with it.
Not enough to love him,not enough to love myself
not enough to love another soul,afraid to be hurt again
the love one that once loved me said he`ll never hurt the soul and heart that love so dearly.
to much in love with I'm that i was playing his heart.
Woke up this morning with the sun in my eyes
Wishing for rain in the clear blue skies
We’re faced with a problem every single day
Our stocks are all dying right were they lay
Tanks are all empty once again, bore’s all dead & dry
Banks want more money, but lord how I try
Year after year praying for rain
Hail Mary, my prayers are in vein
I can remember when I was a boy
My dad and his dad too, had so much green
Had so much green green grass
We used to play and swim in the creek
But all that I’m left with is barren ground
More dead sheep, stacked ten deep
I can’t give up not while I breath
Cause I’m a fair dinkum Aussie guy,
Who never ever gives up
Too much to live for before I say goodbye
So while there is food on the table and a beer in hand
I’ll keep on fighting for my home on the land
With my wife standing tall along my side
We’ll keep on fighting till the day we say goodbye
Sometimes i decide that i need to move on.
Then i realise that i cant, i remember You,
i cant help it, this feeling just goes on and on.
It feels like it'll never end, like an ongoing flu.
It's gone too far, now i hate loving You as much as i do.
i wish i'd never met You, it's pity i cant change the past,
For my future i can control, never again will i ever do
This to myself, because now i know, it will never last.
But deep inside, i'll always wish for Your love.
Life has become a living hell now, noboby can change that.
i really do want to get over you, but i'm stuck,
i'll never move forward or back, 'cause im trapped.
You're the best and worst thing that's happened to me.
i wish i could get rid of this curse, get back to the old me.
Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts,
And them not even realize you're worth.
They always want someone else instead of you,
All the pain and torture they don't realize they put you through.
Too scared to tell them how you really feel,
Knowing if you got hurt your heart won't be able to heal.
You do so much all that you can,
Hoping and praying they soon understand.
Your heart in constant agony,
Knowing that it will never be.
Being unhappy and in misery every day,
Because of the unspoken words you're too scared to say.
You sit quietly replaying it over and over in your head,
Listening to them talk about other females instead.
You wanna be around them so you don't go insane,
Doing this every day reliving the same pain.
Suffocating from the pain not being able to breathe,
Hurts you everytime they leave.
All you can do is cry because of how you feel inside,
Because he doesn't know the feelings that you hide.
When you see them with a smile,
Makes you realize it's all worthwhile.
December 19, 2007
~The One and Only~
Once love has died it cannot be revived
Sweet sentiments are sadly laid to rest
From memories no pleasure is derived
The broken heart is vanquished in its quest
Unnurtured love will quickly fade away
Much like a wilted rose unquenched of thirst
Or flower of the sun cloistered of ray
Affections die when they have not been nursed
I tried to warn you that my heart was sore
My tears a testament of grievous plight
You did not hear my plea for something more
And now my love is veiled away from sight
To resurrect my love is no mean task
For miracle of life my heart does ask
Eileen Manassian Ghali
in early July nineteen-eighty-six
waking up in the naval hospital
what’s going on here my mind playing tricks?
no longer would I see Reggie Little
whenever I stood I couldn’t do it
and it was very hard for me to walk
for that July wheelchair I’d have to sit
the worse thing was stuttering when I talk
then came walker and crutches and good-bye
I was heading back home which wasn’t good
reliving my childhood stuttering why?
when I talked I was so misunderstood
now I'm walking on my own less stutter
luckly my life my life isn't in the gutter
what makes the heart feel for something it can't touch?
his tears caused contractions for his heart to pulse
floundered, looking for loves heartache to clutch
whimsical solace of her essence startles his impulse
shouldering the bane of a kiss that foreshadowed trifles
kooky huh? how time unleashes emotions restrained behind pride
losing his beloved inamorata to an admirer she mollycoddles
his heart became friable to the echo of her suicide
It was the absence of a note that left his worries unverified
what makes the heart feel for something it can't touch?
Now alone and without; a lovers heart is mummified
he will never love another as much
the “ghost orchid” has become her epithet
the rules of this game have changed, misère ouverte.
I chose Bonnie Raitt “I can't make you love me” because when I listened to it it brought
back memories of my childhood feeling second to my fathers work. His physical presence was
always their, but his heart belonged to his work and still is. After listening to the song 5 or 6
times I thought of the question, what makes the heart feel for something that it can't
touch----like love, and went from there.
I remember when you and I were young
And you were beautiful beyond compare.
Each day we fought the world and always won
Living for the moment without a care
But time that thief has stole our youth away
And your beauty does slowly dissipate.
The world we fought has won and now holds sway
Showering us with blows we can’t abate.
Knowing now the battle is all but lost
With the fighting fought at our very gate.
Do we resist regardless of the cost
Or just give in and thus capitulate
No even at the end we must believe
Our life matters and to it we must cleave
Children with an illness,
Go through life,
They are looked down apon,
Because they are different,
When really they are not,
They are no different from you and me,
They have the same blood,
Running through their bodies,
Just as their hearts as well,
So, don't just look apon,
Their outer appearance,
And judge them,
For who they really are,
For a lot of them,
Are smarter and brighter,
Than you and I,
Could possibly be,
On our brightest day,
For they have the gifts,
From God up above,
So, always take the time,
To get to know their inner beauty,
For who they really are,
Cause they too need love,
Just as everyone else does,
If not even more.
To lay in wet sand when the tide is low
And relive sunsets, I have known before
Lost in its vastness and no where to go
I find the world rushing out from my shore
Feeling this heart flicker a softer pulse
Engulfed by the darkness that blinds its view
Watching love's light fade, silently repulsed
My heart has retreated, its tide is through
Darkness comes empty, yet is filled with pain
Covers my body, where water collides
And there I will lay, a ghostly remain
To fill the ocean, until tears subside
There in my blackness, where the pain is cold
I'll search for something, until death I'll hold
Forget me, you; where upon your name shall shine,
Where, therein your heart shall not ever repent,
For by then, I will be gone without a sign
And our love with its flowers shall far be sent,
And thus my part, a lover, done and proven,
For this ain't my love that don't care your future,
But the truth that I will burn in an oven,
Tolerating my broken heart in suture,
Escorting pain along with me to the sea,
To the depths where your eyes and heart shall not reach,
If once you see my son, call him for a tea,
For I shall sing him our love and its songs each,
For now this is all I say when you marry,
That my distance is my love that I carry.
love is a wonderland.
which gives us the feel of both heaven and hell.
heaven appears when you say"i love you".
heaven appears when you "love me a lot".
heaven appears when you "hug and kiss me".
hell appears when you"fight with me".
hell appears when you"leave me lonely".
hell appears when you "hurt me".
in a second hell will change into heaven when you are near me.
hell will disappear in a second with tears on the eyes.
that tears is the way which takes us to heaven.
heaven appears in the heart and it comes out with a smile in lips.
that smile is the lighting which brings brightness in two members life.
love and choose a life partner. let a lovely life.....
I will tell of love in fourteen short lines
Remember when you chipped bone in kneecap
So much pain for you and me nothing fine
Knee pain for you for me nausea trap
You had surgery, nausea had me
One baby in arms another womb bound
When you came home, total care you no glee
Beside chamber nausea vomit round
Daily existence for weeks ugly trap
Baby, husband's care between nausea
Holding baby my only relief gap
Situation had me deep undersea
Love is deep when one gives beyond their strength
Giving beyond the call of duty is youngth
If you look into my eyes you can see my painFrom men in the past treating me so inhumane,
But you'll see a smile on my face that always remains,
Because that's the only way to stay sane.
If you look into my eyes you'd see to my soul,
From everything that's turned into woe,
But I have to keep it together and under control,
Finding happiness again is my goal.
If you look into my eyes all you'd see is a broken heart,
Pure and innocent that was torn apart,
Now it's caused me to put up a rampart,
The protect me from getting hurt from the start.
If you look into my eyes you can see my tears,
From all the crying I've done over the years,
My decisions that put me in a bad atmosphere,
Just wish sometimes that I could disappear.
If you look into my eyes you can see my mind,
I'm a smart women who's love defines,
That I'm like no other and I'm one of a kind,
I'm the best woman who's phenomenal and divine.
If you look into my eyes you'd see my dreams,
The nightmares of torturous screams,
From the dishonesty and evil schemes,
That has now made me have higher self-esteem.
If you look into my eyes you can see you didn't win,
To break me down and get under my skin,
I broke free from a heartless demon,
My beauty will always come from within.
December 13, 2013
~The One and Only~
I have been lied to, cheated on, and verbally abused,
I have been heartbroken and used.
I have been second best when I thought I was first,
Goes to show you how little you're worth.
I have been attacked for no reason by another woman,
Because she was having sex with my man.
I felt like a fool for giving my whole heart,
To someone who only ripped it apart.
Mentally I'm damaged beyond repair,
Emotionally scarred from thinking they cared.
I had many tell me what they thought I wanted to hear to keep me around,
When I was at my lowest point they were the ones kicking me deeper into the ground.
I was depressed and felt all alone,
Still don't understand how people are cruel the reasons are still unknown.
The memories are still tainted til this day,
Wish all of the anger would go away.
I have a lot of issues I'm trying to work through,
People analyze me and criticize me when they don't even have a clue.
Doesn't matter how much you care about someone it's never enough,
Because they just used you as a stepping stone because they're life was tough.
Whatever they can get by with, they will do,
Assuring you that they loved you.
At times I second guess what is real,
Because that's the only way I know how to feel.
It left me feeling hopeless, like what's the point,
My whole body was hurting even my joints.
I was always the only one giving,
While they were steadily taking.
Just never understood how I could be treated this way,
That's why the past interferes with my present til this day.
May 10, 2014
~The One and Only~
When you feel your hopes and dreams are just gone
That there's nothing to uplift your poor heart
Just take a good look around and you'll see
There's more to be thankful for than whats shown
For none can stop you from making new start
Only you decide what to do or be.
Try to be positive, content each day
Even if pain and sorrows break your heart
Be grateful give thanks to God on your knee
For tomorrow is a new day pray
His salvations free.
Dorian Petersen Potter
I am stained from the things I've done,
I try to hide from them,
But they chase and I cannot outrun,
Slowly pulling me to requiem.
Depression has sung eternally,
The hate hangs in the notes,
Driving me to insanity,
The pain is so cutthroat.
Falling through the darkness,
The despair pulls me down with its weight,
It eats at me and leaves me lifeless,
But the pain slowly abates.
I am afraid to feel,
Anything thats real.
For you my love, the most exquisite pain
I know, is a continuous torture
that I must suffer all over again;
afflicted, I am like a sad Creature.
Alone, all too alone! I am ambushed
by my feelings for you, ever anxious
I'll be rejected of you and be crushed
because my love's so desperately zealous.
My love for you burns like a billion stars!--
how much longer I can keep it alive,
from burning out or dying is but ours
to decide; until then we'll love and thrive.
Please don't fear a love as robust as mine,
my love, for it aids your soul--even thine.
01//16/2014, "any poem contest #2" Contest
With great fervor they write without end
Pretty words that could not even be read
Though he tried, he had no will to lend
The voice inside expiring, left for dead
There was some pleasure even concern
Pondering the loss of the bonds formed
The thought he could not even discern
His own demons, now left him scorned
No more adventure left in his lost soul
What could they truly understand in him
No more desire, he tried to form a goal
A pursuit also that left him without whim
What more can I do, but write these things I feel
What more can I say, I have nothing left to reveal
humidity in culture climax.
why's nonsense pain in sex?
killing, rape and abduction,
is women's attitude corruption?
why natural growth is at risk?
the world society is in progress,
but hindu traditions are in mess,
rapes; leader blames a western fix.
no women is protected by law,
nudity for men is women's rape tax.
over the centuries system is slow,
pain in veil is cultural glow,
disconnect women from the growth,
is it only a solution for modern flow?
I love our conversations day to day
I laugh at the awkwardness in the hall
I love how you are mine, my sweet blue jay
If this were a movie the snow would fall
The perfect scene that everyone desires
The paramount picture movie nights out
I love that this love does not require
Sadness and despair, the miserable pout
I want to see you as you always are
I want to laugh and share my memories
So you call to me, and I won’t be far
I want to cheer and hear your melodies
For it is a rose in any other name
I am foolish, but who am I to blame?
New found friendship in the darkest areas
But it’s not like we are from dark places
You are the light that disrupts hysteria
There’s no need to hide under fake faces
Thank you, my search for that place is finished
That place where loneliness finally dies
That place where joy is, as it should, cherished
That place where despair meets its true demise
I no longer have to travel today
To travel to that place where sadness ends
Because I have found that place, my blue jay
So from now on, what we do shall depend
Shall we travel together tomorrow
To keep fighting everlasting sorrow
What I say and do I mean completely
What I say to you I mean with honesty
But Please do not take my words so feebly
Don’t shrink in front of the face of modesty
You are marvellous, true in every way
You are graceful, so keep dancing like you
You are beautiful, so smile my blue jay
Smile and I shall be marvellous with you
Please take my words to heart, never forget
They are nothing but spectators tonight
You are the main attraction, don’t leave yet
You will rock, no need to be polite right?
You are awesome in each and every way
You are pretty no matter what they say
A person starts a rumor and it spreads,
It spreads like fire fueled by diesel gas,
It leaves people crying in their beds,
The fire spreads faster on very dry grass,
The time passes by but nothing changes,
The receivers of abuse get no help,
They don’t like to have hurtful exchanges,
They don’t like to shout, they don’t want to yelp,
As time proceeds the pain will not die down,
It will keep on going until the end,
In their tears they will eventually drown,
Little do they know help’s around the bend,
God heard all of their countless fearful cries,
They no longer live with tears in their eyes.
You'll doubtless think my mind is fooling me,
or all my hurting's only in my head,
but pain is what brings on my misery
and makes my heart to wish that I was dead
and though my case is weak for proving it,
my lumbar's slipped a disk--and out of whack,
because of this my life has turned to shit,
and how I am, depends on how's my back.
My wish is you would have for just one day
sciatica I bear--so you could feel
in spite of what the skeptics have to say
my pain's excruciating--and is real.
If you could stand a while here in my shoes
the pain you'd feel would make you moan the blues.
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa
for Facebook, Well this is a pretty picture of a storm coming
on Fort Knox, with me cut and pasted onto to
photo I took last week...
Into the plush fields they went just smiling
Laughing their way down the hills and diving
Into the weeds and flowers alike, soft
Cushion like forms allow for one aloft
Even through their fun, some pain enveloped
Thorns found Sally’s side, bleeding developed
Her friend ran to her, offered her support
Sally’s eyes cried with pain was their report
After they told their parents of their day
They knew their exploits weren’t over, no way
Patched up and ready to go was Sally
Her younger sister was always ready
Where the prettiest flowers are, they know
Away from the thorns, exploring they’ll go
You promised you loved me with all of your heart,
I wish I knew it was all lies from the start.
My hearts scared from being broken and bruised,
From being cheated on, lied to, and used.
Crying myself to sleep many nights cause you were home,
Leaving me feeling unimportant, unloved, and alone.
We were once Bonnie and Clyde and all you needed was me,
Now I know I wasn't enough to make you happy.
The us that was once one has now become two,
How can you hurt someone who loves you.
From the beginning I was the glue that bonded what we had,
You took me for granted and made me feel bad.
When it comes to me you've always put me last,
But I've always put you first in the present, future and past.
My tears I've cried are for your attention and touch,
With you not being here has made me miss you so much.
Love is about the act not always what you say
You need to learn that and live by this way.
February 09, 2012
~The One and Only~
So cold and withdrawn,
A way to preserve,
From misery and pain
No man could deserve.
Her beauty with charm,
Shed light on a crack,
With love and persistance
Her way of attack.
A good year of company,
A long year of friendship,
A bond now has formed,
No force to break or to bend it.
Yet comes one fatal day,
Her mind how its changed,
Now with pain and with misery
Is this man now deranged.
For so long a heart can bleed,
All battered and torn,
Now this day again,
So cold and withdrawn.
Laughing Man, Pain Hidden
A laughing man hid well his pain
our approval he sought to gain
A hope that admiration would pay
force the inner demon far away
Can any judge another man's soul
we can only guess but never know
The mental pains cut ever so deep
hammers preventing needed sleep
No plea, request or loud outcry
no note explaining the why
Answer left to be only a guess
misery now gone, soul at rest
A laughing man hid well his pain
so very sad but will happen again
Robert J. Lindley , 08-12-2014
You are like the winter wind, cold and bare,
That blows the seasons trumpets loud and shrill,
And brings the bitter frosts that chill the air,
To silence natures laughter, and to still
The mountain springs, where noisy waters run
To meet the streams and rivers far below,
Now frozen in their banks beneath the sun
Entombed within the ice and flawless snow
And yet your beauty shines though cold and true,
Where starlight falls on frost to dance and glow
And trees of ice that show the brightest hue,
To sparkle as the sun reflects the snow.
The season of the dead is cold and raw
Where nature waits to meet the coming thaw
A CRAZY OBSESSION
I WANT TO KNOW WHY
I AM SO OBSESSED WITH YOU
IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY,
EVEN A LITTLE INSANE
YOU HAVE EASILY MADE ME FORGET
MY ONE TRUE SOUL MATE
MAKING ME REALIZE
ONE CAN FALL IN LOVE
MORE THAN JUST ONCE
YOU HAVE HELPED ME
PUT MY PAST BEHIND ME
GIVING ME HOPE, STRENTH
CREATING A SPACE IN MY HEART
TO CARE, TO LOVE AGAIN
YES, I KNOW IT IS TRUE
HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU
WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME
EVEN IF IT SOUNDS INSANE
YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON ON
MY MIND AS I LAY DOWN TO SLEEP
YOU ARE THE FRIST ON MY MIND
WHEN I AWAKE
YOU ARE ALL I THINK OF
The love that kisses with a tasteless tear
A pain that can’t be painted on the soul
A longing for a place without a fear
Longing for a feeling that makes me whole
Beloved, words can’t heal my tattered heart.
As thorns pass me by the pain cant compare
That of the pain of being torn apart
Even the wind howls about it I swear
Tell me was falling in love my mistake
I chose my own fate and decided to stay
I will not let this love become forsaken
Love can’t just get up and spirit away
Love is worth overcoming a mountain
My love for you flows like a vast fountain
Envelopes, like cantaloupes,
Emptied vessels cast aside.
Harbors of wayward ships,
Collection plates to take inside,
Emptiness, is nothing less,
Bleeding ulcers seeping in,
Burning edges outward in,
The constant pain that lives within.
The inner core, the apple seed,
The heart of love is beating still.
The tidal flow to sooth the sand,
The lover's hand to touch and fill.
The joy, the warmth, of god within.
Believe it or do not, life is a gift:
do not resign yourself to its evils
or to its troubles and many, great ills;
O no! your purpose, though you feel adrift,
will never leave you—it will buoy you up
and keep you afloat: this know that God wills.
He shall anoint your paths on the high hills
of His Jerusalem, and fill your Cup
until it runs over—rejoice! Have heart!
For you are not alone in your sorrows
and pain, for God and His angels take part
in the despair and trials of your disease:
if you hold on there'd be more tomorrows
for you—it's a promise that you must seize.
(continueing the Monsieur L'Vampyre adventure)
THE DEATH OF MADAMOISELLE duPONT
Dear Stella, up the path, into the park,
deep shadows hide the trees along the Seine,
the quiet of the night accents the dark
and you can feel your breathing now and then.
The peaceful gloom, enveloped by a mist,
all black and gray and shades of morbid white,
accentuates the place your eyes have missed,
where someone waits, who's watched you every night.
This place, where gendarmes warn to be aware,
tonight is more foreboding than you've known,
and so you pause; you look; is someone there?
it's then you realize, you are alone.
The snapping of your heels you hear increase,
as if the hurry puts your mind at peace.
Engulfed, the path leads up and from the Seine,
and then you'll be out of this narrow pit,
but suddenly you feel the eyes again,
much closer than a glove too small to fit.
You struggle with your thinking, in a word,
to flee or just pretend no one is there,
and so you hum a tune you've never heard,
and place your safety in your mother's prayer.
Oh, Stella, Stella, in the spring you'll wed,
your sweet Gaston. Believe he's at your side,
and you will laugh at all this gloom and dread...
though courage might have found you, it has lied.
The shadows all are moving; you can hear
the groaning of someone who's all too near.
The quiet; crickets sounding no alarm,
but now a drizzle rain cools at your heat,
and tingles flowing down onto your arm
remind you of the friends you'll never meet;
quite suddenly, he's grabbed you from behind,
and muffles any sound you might have found,
you cannot scream, to hurt is in your mind,
but he's too quick, he's pinned you to the ground.
Who is this thing, your lover or your friend,
you might have pained...why does he want you dead?
or is this just someone who brings the end,
you've never known, with killing in his head?
You feel no teardrops, feel no blood nor fright,
there's only blinding, blinding, blinding light....
© ron Wilson aka Veebdosa the Doylestown poet
LETTER TO A SORE BROTHER, BEAUTIFUL SISTER (DEDICATED TO MY BROTHER’S AND SISTER’S LOVE)
Early jungle makes me a desire
To be alone in the belly of our dear beautiful mother
Because our growing up is such and irony
Which made me rejoiced each moment this time
That wishes were never allowed to be rose
For men of wrong mind to buy
There in my childhood irony moment
We fought as if it is created share hatred
We wish for all except one that pays a little pain
For i held back from all
As all held back from me and other all
Indeed, people taught that our life is a share pain
A sore injury to the world of love
Because i loved each moment my brother bleed from our father’s hell
I went behind the scene to celebrate my goal
kindly, the moment is always become
As i happily shun and damn the future
... who did you think you are with my future
I sometimes ignorantly murmur as a child
In my little kingdom emptiness, i rejoice in the brothers pain
A little hatred of thee, a more love of me
I love each time i am loved alone
To hate thee by my blood and cause sheepishly i became and honour
As this irony grows into something still ironic
I wish my pain could allow my pen speak plain
To cry such an awesome deep and sore blood
At each moment the rain of thee bath me thoroughly
To see thee share all to have me clothed
To borrow from the enemy to have me homed
even to lose all from the gods to make sure that i have all from the goddess
The brother even stole to have me meal
More like the blood and doing of the mother, it shared abroad
As brothers all lie to have me protected
Much illiterate to make me the literate king
Oh bleed me death less i say this pain of love
Sisters risk of the night, the horror evil men to see a smile in this lips of mine
That i wish never remember the selfish boyhoodness
Ay! How i see my brother’s cry in his desolation
Not for him or for his little joy
But for the pain of a dear brother
To save all only to loose all to life a brother
Its pain of the ugly moment in a close death
It was determined and death paid of thee
But the brother and sister’s coming death
Woke brothers will up, sisters ghost down
I need to save my brother
Leave my life to save my brother
And take it once his breath is back
There the sacrifice of a dear brother made me desire
Never a child as this in my next world
Because you are a brother, a beautiful brother
A sister, very handsome sister that i hold dearest to my breath
And love dearest to my heart beat
No man can woo her or bestow a kiss
Nor even help her opening the door.
For with her cruel tongue she ne’er can miss..
Her epithets will knock him to the floor.
No man caresses her in warmth of night
Nor brings her tea and comfort when she’s sick.
She puts them off by always being right
.And giving answers far too sly and quick.
No man can puzzle out what he’s done wrong
No man can cut the wire that binds her heart.
Yet now and then they hear a wistful song…
And think they see black demons swift depart..
Beware such women as they are accursed…
For never by love’s touch have they been blessed
Youthful Memories, Treasures Held
Memories, treasures waiting for me
pictures frozen in precious vaults
fruits from so many time trees
holding lessons of my many faults
Endlessly endearing emotions store away
stars swept into vast galaxies of fate
on journeys my mind often eagerly stray
seeking relief, praying it is not too late
My heart keeps redial with a quick connect
loves, sorrows, sweet pains of deep remorse
ever ready to serve up for desired effect
with the wanted results given of course
Treasure waiting to be conveniently tapped
Sweet , delicious milk to be silently lapped
Robert J. Lindley 06-22-2014
Indigo child came crashing on your dark
perspectives could not have coalesced
less than my essence and your soul,agony
the echo, hollow, whispers pain in solace
Your eyes so tight and small spoke of emptiness
and angst etched in the wrinkles of your face
the end of us was in the pain of our first glance
long suffering and stoic we mingle and remain
aesthetics did not exist for you and I
as countenance from essence does arise
for yours was never pleasing to my eyes
your silence screams that I was not your dream
your eyes small and hollow filled with pain
first glance was all it took to see our end
(c) Katherine Wyatt 2010
Thy fair head is reminiscent of a freefall cascade
Thou art so lovely and undeniably a silent charade
Hark you imposter, thine dewy eyes fool me not
For your impetuous ways I have not easily forgot
Thine misty greys, thou art mine
Yet to no one you have signed
Delusions of grandeur fill up my heart
Yet alas the pain has yet to depart
Clandestinely we loved, through thy soft gentle serenades
Perish me, for my end dear heart continuously debates
Adieu I say, for my end is here my lot be taken
For it is I that your heart has callously forsaken!
Oh the pain it hath endured
T’was that I was better off forlorn
How cautious I was while going my way,
When adversity upon me was thrust;
Words spoken in my ear to stay,
With evil thoughts to break my trust.
But you who trifle with my heart,
I once loved but now cause such grief;
For when the pain that tears apart,
Is now the soul for each reckless thief.
Now all these things need be confessed,
To bring conclusion to this affair;
To rid the soul of its forlorn unrest;
And ease the pain that lingers there.
For even if I go my way I fear,
My thwarted heart would shed a tear.
A Bee Buzzing
I feel a bee buzzing in my ear left
It makes me feel pain intolerable
It’s a state beyond curable
For a whole week my bed had not slept.
In my wild reverie, I find my ear rotten
Or rather rotten is my soul?
I question my self sole
In fear I helplessly lay flat and frozen.
It’s the snow-cold air my heart desires
Yet my pain aggravates with chill air
To cross the bars, would I dare?
Pills, painkillers give me pain and tears.
Oh, Lord! Would you want me to shake off my burden?
And license me to play in gold-girdled garden?
I'm sick, this is what cancer patients go through!
The bonds between souls and bodies, shattered!
Hopeless, yet still dreaming for life, crude.
Everything you ever dreamed of, tattered.
As I hold on to the last few strings of hope
A realization occurs, what good have I done?
This world owes me nothing, with my pain I must elope.
As far as I can, with my pain I must run!
I must slip away, before anybody recognizes I'm gone.
I don't need anyone in my way, trying to stop me.
This weight on my shoulders, so heavy, as heavy as a ton.
The decision is made. Don't turn back and eventually you'll be free.
Bury the hatchet, it doesn't matter how excruciating the pain.
By holding onto past problems, you will go insane.
When I knew what triggers writing
Quite relieved, I fed on it, like twitching
To keep this tormenting treasure alive,
It‘d healed but still in it, I dive,
Ran over it again n again,
My blood sheds like the rain
But stared on it like a blind,
This catastrophe doesn’t need to remind,
An old melody is enough for me to be blown,
But now, yes these dried eyes don’t moan
This treasure of gone needs not to be awaken,
When mocked on lost charm, like bitten,
I just wear that smile, yes memory of compliments still fumbles,
Though dead, but not forgotten, it in my heart rumbles!
Dedicated to my best friend; I'm sorry Laura. May we never have a fallout again...
My deepest apologies my dearest friend,
I hope we are on the mend.
I never meant the words I said,
And to lose you would render my heart dead.
It was all in pain when anger rose,
And every day my guilt grows.
Sorrow clouds my spirit,
Accusations it whispers, I can hear it.
From shallow dreams and haunting nightmare I wake,
I’m afraid I cannot fix this mistake.
Oh can you forgive me,
Or is our friendship not to be?
My heart lurches for the pain I caused you,
My best friend, to make this right again I’ll do what I have to…
Mine eyes are sore from it many cries,
As my pain drowns me in hardship's trials,
Beaten by the wind,I go in search for shelter,
For there is no one to call brother,
My heart shouts with the pain of a wounded wolf,
For I am afflicted with stains of my fall,
Sorrowful songs do I sing,
As in the open,my melodies fly with the wind,
Waiting for its reply, i linger on,
As it whistles my needs through the palm leaves,
Singing to the world of my needs,
As I go cup in hand for a meal,
Offer your help ,oh! stranger,
For you are sent by the wind of my maker,
To flee among the trees that lived and died
Hidden in shadows of limbs long and bent
Still trusting love, a belief that has lied
To find the empty depth of your torment
Confusion searches for hope in silence
Remembering days that have come and gone
This world of darkness is growing immense
As you await long nights, following dawn
Escape these trees and go to the meadow
To seek a sun between the clouds that part
And find beneath the rain a bright rainbow
It's where life is, that can fill your heart
Will you lay among the trees of dismay?
Are you buried beneath the leaves that stay?
I stand and view the sun
as it burns the pain in me
I fell the heart on me
but it kills the pain in me
I wish it fills me with life
but it takes the life from me
I heard the sound of hope
but it's far away from me
I look to the sky for help
but the sky is dark as night
I pray for morning to come
but darkness fills the cloud
like the sound of whisper
I felt the life out of me
like the wind that beats goes bye
the head that wear the crown
I felt the pain in me
Sweet colors of skys will die
Little girl close your eyes and you will fly
Candy drops of tears will fall
Holding onto promises that no longer excist
Dreams of a dream that happiness is real
Mamma see's your sad eyes, wondering what took the glitter away
Wishing out the fire on the last candle
Wishing to see a new night
Pink,blue,yellow,green balloons I hold
Watching them slip through my fingers forever
Feeling the pain break you apart inside
Believing that the pain is the only memory
Dont let the burning of sunder mark you
A drip of strawberry poison will weaken the pain
Hush Hush the lip's of memory's
And dance till the sun bleed's the last drop
For today I am lost
My mind playing tricks
Am I here? Am I real?
I feel im invisible
Yet I feel so hurt
No one can see me or feel my pain
Yet the blood runs warm through my veins.
Who goes there? I heard you call
Just the voices willing me to fall
Into the trap of loneliness and despair
I try to hold my head high
and I try not to care.
Sometimes it become far too much
The pain the voices and as such
Is it too much to ask, I just want to be free
Just open me up with that little silver key.
I am but one, In this thing you call life
I have to be strong and resist the knife.
In the valley of souls flows a river
of sorrows—a river of great despair.
It's a spiritual death that we all share,—
which napalms our lives and eats our liver.
Beware! Its undercurrent of wet doom
drowns us with heartless glee—it does not care,
and burdens us with more than we can bear.
We're like occupants in a cold, stone tomb
for whom can be heard and felt the death knell
where heaven's desolate and God is dead,
as if we are a breath away from hell.
Here, where cautious souls dare not walk or tread,
we are like phantoms—like ghosts in a shell.
Yet, we fear not hell: but Despair we dread!
Calvin L. Genereux
Shrouded by darkness, confusion and fear,
Weighed down by our doubts, the visions appear.
The guardians keep an ongoing leer;
Passing their judgement on all who come near.
From fear, an anger courses through our heart,
Adrenaline starts pumping through our veins.
Our passion flares so brightly from the start,
Influencing and driving us insane.
As anger runs wild hatred takes its course,
And sets in blacking your precious soul.
The pain begins, lashing out, no remorse.
The fire burns, sets in and takes its tole.
Hates leaves us empty, suffering sets in,
When bodies burn and families are torn.
A vicious cycle, we can never win.
The path layed out is paved with pain and scorn.
The darkness inside burns on as you ride,
Surrender, heart and soul, to the Darkside.
This silent loneliness my closest friend,
Those empty nights that kindly wait for me,
It comes to ease the pain but not to mend
The broken heart that struggled to be free.
For pain may subside and fade to memory,
But broken hearts can never be repaired,
Old wounds heal leaving scars of destiny,
That ward of curses of a love once shared.
For love the heart and soul must be prepared,
To feel the burn of facing deepest pain,
When solitude reminds that no one cared,
Still we fall in love again and again.
When love has gone and we are left with fears,
Those scars remain to numb the lonely tears.
Form: Spenserian Sonnet
I sought more than I could ever attain
In a long, foolish quest destined to fail.
A passage to a world where storm clouds reign
And in every corner a tragic tale.
Pain's royal throne in destiny's wicked clutch,
Front row seats to a future of despair
For thinking I could ever mean that much,
A foolish hope in an endless nightmare.
Just a sad puppet on a lonely string,
Forever trapped in a sadist's dream,
Driven into darkness by love's painful sting,
Traveling fast, down a treacherous stream.
Waiting here in agony for you.
Why? It's simple. It's because I love you.
I look at you and i see myself
Hatred bubbling between us
Can't Change the past or stop the pain
Just wanting to be held again
Sex and drugs over powers you
You slip away into the haze of the past
And I can't keep waiting
To see how long this lasts
So I scream into the night
The fire burns within me
I have to find a release from you
Because if I don't I'll fall into a blackness
The tears run down my face
But I hold back my dying rage
You were once in a lifetime
You laugh and smirk, its all a big joke
The ultimatium is what you wrote
The knife in my heart is getting deeper
And it burns with eternal flame
This pain will never stop
You are all to ****ing blame
So I stop all the fighting
I let myself fall into darkness
The voices in my ears stop
I'm in need of an intervention
All I see is a dark cold world
The pain I feel is released
And I become the darkness you fear
Such pain and suffering as ensues
From the torment in my head,
O sweetheart, why do you refuse
That I keep faith to our bed;
Such burden there is to my heart
That a mule could not stand firm,
Yet the cruelty, when loves apart
Is naught, to gold of loves affirm;
Then brightness lifts that inner soul
Makes mock of wise and fool,
And banishes the darkened shawl
That caused sweet love to cool;
Though pain and suffering ensue
My love, my sweet, stays true to you.
Sitting here reminiscing about the past,
Thinking about the mistakes I’ve made,
Wondering if the pain will last,
It’s all the product of a trust mislaid.
Feeling the scars from a pain long subdued,
Unending sorrow buried underneath a false smile,
Never to show my true mood,
For other to know my feelings would be vile.
Carrying this burden forever more,
Not knowing how to fix my error,
Knowing I’ll never be able to close this door,
I must continue to live with this terror
Reminiscing about the past,
Hoping the pain will not last.
Reality sacred and carefree
Fatality broken and fancy free
It hurts to be me
It hurts for you to see
all the pain I put myself through
Crawling through the disdain
and I still can't get to you
Even after all my pain
Bleed a thousand tears
Need to rid myself of these fears
It cannot bear
It cannot compare
To the pain I endure
Just to stay pure
Gazing at my body there on the floor,
feeling more pain now than ever before,
I see the gun lying there by my hand,
a pool of blood there where I land,
I see my mother as she opens the door,
then all is lost in her screams of horror,
My father rushes in, Pulling me to his chest,
screaming my name and trying his best,
He knows when he feels my cold damp skin,
my time on this earth has come to an end,
I see pain and hatred burning in their eyes,
How could I do this, I don't want to die,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I try hard to scream,
yet it is useless as if in a dream,
Terror and Sorrow flooding my soul,
Oh dear God I just didn't know,
The pain it would cause those left behind,
how I forever have scarred their minds,
Now it's too late the pain they can't hide,
just because of a selfish act of suicide.