Open eyed, long tearless, foul silvered orbs
have you no pity? The aqua tide rides dry.
Blind staring scorches, accusing twin barbs
who burrow inward, a destiny to decry.
Scattered rendering, puzzled pieces aligning;
"Please mercy has a place, why can't I cry?"
Remove the cataract veneer, stop my pining
"Have you no place for maddened souls such as I?"
Nailed to the boards you see a canvassed psyche
dabbed upon a casein shroud in hues most bright.
"How many lamp lit days will you seek to find me?"
The light betrays me and I live in eternal fright.
Eternities unfold in Lovecraft Tales
upon the silvered side within my eyes; hell wails.
When pain hits hard, you might feel like your soul
is bleeding out, but there’s no blood to see.
Your body is the part that takes the toll,
and physically you feel the agony.
Perhaps the pain goes to your heart as though
a knife has sliced right through it, or you feel
it in your gut as if you took a blow.
No cut or bruise is shown, yet it is real!
When both the body and the spirit seem
to reach their limit, tears are overdue.
You have to let those tears go! Let them stream
and carry out the bitterness for you.
An empty tissue box becomes the sign
that soon, and hopefully, you will be fine.
She much preferred the days. In rays of sun
She’d wrap herself as if they were a shawl.
But quiet horror crept when day was done,
for Night closed in - a grim and awful pall.
That memory more easily suppressed
when sunlight drenched her soul came flooding in
as shadows loomed, and then a blackness pressed
into her consciousness the guilt of sin.
Though it was not a sin deliberate,
the Pain of Night arrived as if to scoff
at her for thinking that she might forget
the time she drove her car, then nodded off. . .
How horrible that sight she can’t erase -
her victim’s young and bloodied stricken face.
A Demon Confesses
I shun the light and do so cast the stone,
rot the meat , ravenously eat the bone
Cut my way deep in every man that falls,
eat my thrills as my victim mercy calls!
Shadows, adorning my cloaks worn with pride,
once entered I rot the mind as I ride
Pain and agony my pets serve so well,
my purpose, sending 'em all right to Hell!
Long claws my daggers I do finely shine,
accept my gifts, your soul then is all mine
Dark laughter is my sweet joy letting loose,
long is you wail, your head is in my noose!
I too, serve my dark master very well
loyal demon, freed from the bowels of Hell!
no date- Edited today, shortened to a sonnet
written so very long ago!
A taste of dark,
demons a reality so very stark,
I write safely within this brilliant light
spewing truth out to win another great fight..-08/24/2014
Ice crystals form on a once dusty road
Taillights shining brightly amongst the smoke
The old tall oak bruised but still standing strong
A pickled blackened heart no longer broke
If I were gone tomorrow would she care
Remembering that I was always there
Standing by her side through thick and thin
My everlasting love would never disappear
That distant night she wouldn't believe
My heart was pounding loudly for her
Stabbing those stilettos deep into my heart
Walking out, nevermore would my spirit stir
No amount of liquor could mask the pain
Finally, a dead heart will beat again
**Inspired by Nathan D's Junkie Heaven poem and a few late night texts from a friend drinking at a bar**
When you miss a child,
Of your very own,
That is your flesh and blood,
You begin to wonder,
Where did you go wrong,
In your own life,
Instead of looking,
At the beautiful life,
This you must remember,
So many of the difficult times,
Cause of the times you did share together,
For your children will remember more,
Than you really want to give them credit for,
And they will always remember you,
As their loving parent,
For loving them so much,
More than you will ever know,
And you will never forget them,
Just as you hope,
You will never be forgotten,
From their lives,
Woke up this morning with the sun in my eyes
Wishing for rain in the clear blue skies
We’re faced with a problem every single day
Our stocks are all dying right were they lay
Tanks are all empty once again, bore’s all dead & dry
Banks want more money, but lord how I try
Year after year praying for rain
Hail Mary, my prayers are in vein
I can remember when I was a boy
My dad and his dad too, had so much green
Had so much green green grass
We used to play and swim in the creek
But all that I’m left with is barren ground
More dead sheep, stacked ten deep
I can’t give up not while I breath
Cause I’m a fair dinkum Aussie guy,
Who never ever gives up
Too much to live for before I say goodbye
So while there is food on the table and a beer in hand
I’ll keep on fighting for my home on the land
With my wife standing tall along my side
We’ll keep on fighting till the day we say goodbye
The thicket moves, my aim must not waver;
with strengthened arms I bend my bow of yew:
My eyes pierce the brush, intent to savor
the sights of a good hunt, an arrow true.
The bracken parts, rattling, empty sighs;
My draw fingers quake from the constant chill.
My quarries' breath floats to the clouded sky,
my own breath muffled as I track my kill.
Overhead, an arrow in deadly arc
speeds toward the bear I'm seeking, still as stone;
A shadow moves, the arrow strikes its mark.
The hand that loosed the shaft was not my own.
I am a man shadowed; death comes knocking:
The hunter hunted; the past comes stalking.
I saw her sitting there looking real sad
Tears that flow down her wet face very bad
Each teardrop exists with some great moist streaks
She has a violent reaction so bleak
Tears move from her bloodshot eyes down her cheeks
Quickly flows at first, then slower it seeks
Looks for that way out from the pain she holds
Love is what she seeks now, out from the cold
I surely give her some space she desired
Then I break this silence as she required
She reached out to me as I approached her
Her tears slow down now, they almost defer
Her face is tenderly wet from the tears
We’ll hold each other for many more years
A wounded heart cries, fills its lonely glass
Held, caressed by the anguished hands of sorrow
Hoping memories last, as tears trespass
To rebuild the temple love did borrow
Pouring eyes awash in long thinning streams
Their sadness a relentless rolling wave
Upheaval from within choking the dreams
Leaving nothing to remember or save
Lost in the rushes and chained to the pain
The heart is bleeding from wounds it conveys
While scattered momuments crumbled from strain
Lay dying, in the garden of yesterday
To find one breath shared with the pain now kept
And feel the wounded heart when love has wept
My love for her was oh so strong;
Her very love defined me;
I thought our relationship would be long;
Now its gone, lost like a sailor at sea.
Her beauty was as a goddess;
I am not sure how we even came to be;
But as it turns out I was less;
She got bored, went to men other than
This act destroyed my very soul;
I was crushed, heartbroken, and alone;
I've gotten over this, I'm better
Now she's apologizing, now she wants to
I don't know what she thinks she sees;
That miserable woman won't be getting
back with me.
At times we all need a good cry,
To let loose what's been bottled up inside.
A single tear is all it takes to release the hurt,
The tears give us some kind of comfort.
Just a single drop of water is all it takes,
To try and heal the wounds from a heartache.
A single tear can hold so much pain,
Misery or from happiness you've gained.
Fallen tears from the people we loved who've died,
The only thing we can do is cry,
Tears from moving on and saying goodbye,
The memories you shared and you're still asking yourself why.
Tears hold so many emotions,
Sometimes tears show what we fail to mention.
Tears are like waterworks that come pouring out,
Often we have to ask what you're crying about.
Tears cleanse the soul and ease the mind,
It helps to leave all the sadness behind.
Tears from being in love are great,
And for that there's no reason to debate.
May 09, 2014
~The One and Only~
To in love with him but playing his heart,
don't know what i want from love,don't know how to love with my heart.
don't know how to love with my heart,
i love with mind.
Afraid to love with my heart,
afraid of the consequence that might come with it.
Not enough to love him,not enough to love myself
not enough to love another soul,afraid to be hurt again
the love one that once loved me said he`ll never hurt the soul and heart that love so dearly.
to much in love with I'm that i was playing his heart.
I remember when you and I were young
And you were beautiful beyond compare.
Each day we fought the world and always won
Living for the moment without a care
But time that thief has stole our youth away
And your beauty does slowly dissipate.
The world we fought has won and now holds sway
Showering us with blows we can’t abate.
Knowing now the battle is all but lost
With the fighting fought at our very gate.
Do we resist regardless of the cost
Or just give in and thus capitulate
No even at the end we must believe
Our life matters and to it we must cleave
Once love has died it cannot be revived
Sweet sentiments are sadly laid to rest
From memories no pleasure is derived
The broken heart is vanquished in its quest
Unnurtured love will quickly fade away
Much like a wilted rose unquenched of thirst
Or flower of the sun cloistered of ray
Affections die when they have not been nursed
I tried to warn you that my heart was sore
My tears a testament of grievous plight
You did not hear my plea for something more
And now my love is veiled away from sight
To resurrect my love is no mean task
For miracle of life my heart does ask
Eileen Manassian Ghali
Sometimes i decide that i need to move on.
Then i realise that i cant, i remember You,
i cant help it, this feeling just goes on and on.
It feels like it'll never end, like an ongoing flu.
It's gone too far, now i hate loving You as much as i do.
i wish i'd never met You, it's pity i cant change the past,
For my future i can control, never again will i ever do
This to myself, because now i know, it will never last.
But deep inside, i'll always wish for Your love.
Life has become a living hell now, noboby can change that.
i really do want to get over you, but i'm stuck,
i'll never move forward or back, 'cause im trapped.
You're the best and worst thing that's happened to me.
i wish i could get rid of this curse, get back to the old me.
what makes the heart feel for something it can't touch?
his tears caused contractions for his heart to pulse
floundered, looking for loves heartache to clutch
whimsical solace of her essence startles his impulse
shouldering the bane of a kiss that foreshadowed trifles
kooky huh? how time unleashes emotions restrained behind pride
losing his beloved inamorata to an admirer she mollycoddles
his heart became friable to the echo of her suicide
It was the absence of a note that left his worries unverified
what makes the heart feel for something it can't touch?
Now alone and without; a lovers heart is mummified
he will never love another as much
the “ghost orchid” has become her epithet
the rules of this game have changed, misère ouverte.
I chose Bonnie Raitt “I can't make you love me” because when I listened to it it brought
back memories of my childhood feeling second to my fathers work. His physical presence was
always their, but his heart belonged to his work and still is. After listening to the song 5 or 6
times I thought of the question, what makes the heart feel for something that it can't
touch----like love, and went from there.
Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts,
And them not even realize you're worth.
They always want someone else instead of you,
All the pain and torture they don't realize they put you through.
Too scared to tell them how you really feel,
Knowing if you got hurt your heart won't be able to heal.
You do so much all that you can,
Hoping and praying they soon understand.
Your heart in constant agony,
Knowing that it will never be.
Being unhappy and in misery every day,
Because of the unspoken words you're too scared to say.
You sit quietly replaying it over and over in your head,
Listening to them talk about other females instead.
You wanna be around them so you don't go insane,
Doing this every day reliving the same pain.
Suffocating from the pain not being able to breathe,
Hurts you everytime they leave.
All you can do is cry because of how you feel inside,
Because he doesn't know the feelings that you hide.
When you see them with a smile,
Makes you realize it's all worthwhile.
December 19, 2007
~The One and Only~
in early July nineteen-eighty-six
waking up in the naval hospital
what’s going on here my mind playing tricks?
no longer would I see Reggie Little
whenever I stood I couldn’t do it
and it was very hard for me to walk
for that July wheelchair I’d have to sit
the worse thing was stuttering when I talk
then came walker and crutches and good-bye
I was heading back home which wasn’t good
reliving my childhood stuttering why?
when I talked I was so misunderstood
now I'm walking on my own less stutter
luckly my life my life isn't in the gutter
To lay in wet sand when the tide is low
And relive sunsets, I have known before
Lost in its vastness and no where to go
I find the world rushing out from my shore
Feeling this heart flicker a softer pulse
Engulfed by the darkness that blinds its view
Watching love's light fade, silently repulsed
My heart has retreated, its tide is through
Darkness comes empty, yet is filled with pain
Covers my body, where water collides
And there I will lay, a ghostly remain
To fill the ocean, until tears subside
There in my blackness, where the pain is cold
I'll search for something, until death I'll hold
Children with an illness,
Go through life,
They are looked down apon,
Because they are different,
When really they are not,
They are no different from you and me,
They have the same blood,
Running through their bodies,
Just as their hearts as well,
So, don't just look apon,
Their outer appearance,
And judge them,
For who they really are,
For a lot of them,
Are smarter and brighter,
Than you and I,
Could possibly be,
On our brightest day,
For they have the gifts,
From God up above,
So, always take the time,
To get to know their inner beauty,
For who they really are,
Cause they too need love,
Just as everyone else does,
If not even more.
Forget me, you; where upon your name shall shine,
Where, therein your heart shall not ever repent,
For by then, I will be gone without a sign
And our love with its flowers shall far be sent,
And thus my part, a lover, done and proven,
For this ain't my love that don't care your future,
But the truth that I will burn in an oven,
Tolerating my broken heart in suture,
Escorting pain along with me to the sea,
To the depths where your eyes and heart shall not reach,
If once you see my son, call him for a tea,
For I shall sing him our love and its songs each,
For now this is all I say when you marry,
That my distance is my love that I carry.
love is a wonderland.
which gives us the feel of both heaven and hell.
heaven appears when you say"i love you".
heaven appears when you "love me a lot".
heaven appears when you "hug and kiss me".
hell appears when you"fight with me".
hell appears when you"leave me lonely".
hell appears when you "hurt me".
in a second hell will change into heaven when you are near me.
hell will disappear in a second with tears on the eyes.
that tears is the way which takes us to heaven.
heaven appears in the heart and it comes out with a smile in lips.
that smile is the lighting which brings brightness in two members life.
love and choose a life partner. let a lovely life.....
I will tell of love in fourteen short lines
Remember when you chipped bone in kneecap
So much pain for you and me nothing fine
Knee pain for you for me nausea trap
You had surgery, nausea had me
One baby in arms another womb bound
When you came home, total care you no glee
Beside chamber nausea vomit round
Daily existence for weeks ugly trap
Baby, husband's care between nausea
Holding baby my only relief gap
Situation had me deep undersea
Love is deep when one gives beyond their strength
Giving beyond the call of duty is youngth
If you look into my eyes you can see my painFrom men in the past treating me so inhumane,
But you'll see a smile on my face that always remains,
Because that's the only way to stay sane.
If you look into my eyes you'd see to my soul,
From everything that's turned into woe,
But I have to keep it together and under control,
Finding happiness again is my goal.
If you look into my eyes all you'd see is a broken heart,
Pure and innocent that was torn apart,
Now it's caused me to put up a rampart,
The protect me from getting hurt from the start.
If you look into my eyes you can see my tears,
From all the crying I've done over the years,
My decisions that put me in a bad atmosphere,
Just wish sometimes that I could disappear.
If you look into my eyes you can see my mind,
I'm a smart women who's love defines,
That I'm like no other and I'm one of a kind,
I'm the best woman who's phenomenal and divine.
If you look into my eyes you'd see my dreams,
The nightmares of torturous screams,
From the dishonesty and evil schemes,
That has now made me have higher self-esteem.
If you look into my eyes you can see you didn't win,
To break me down and get under my skin,
I broke free from a heartless demon,
My beauty will always come from within.
December 13, 2013
~The One and Only~
For you my love, the most exquisite pain
I know, is a continuous torture
that I must suffer all over again;
afflicted, I am like a sad Creature.
Alone, all too alone! I am ambushed
by my feelings for you, ever anxious
I'll be rejected of you and be crushed
because my love's so desperately zealous.
My love for you burns like a billion stars!--
how much longer I can keep it alive,
from burning out or dying is but ours
to decide; until then we'll love and thrive.
Please don't fear a love as robust as mine,
my love, for it aids your soul--even thine.
01//16/2014, "any poem contest #2" Contest
I have been lied to, cheated on, and verbally abused,
I have been heartbroken and used.
I have been second best when I thought I was first,
Goes to show you how little you're worth.
I have been attacked for no reason by another woman,
Because she was having sex with my man.
I felt like a fool for giving my whole heart,
To someone who only ripped it apart.
Mentally I'm damaged beyond repair,
Emotionally scarred from thinking they cared.
I had many tell me what they thought I wanted to hear to keep me around,
When I was at my lowest point they were the ones kicking me deeper into the ground.
I was depressed and felt all alone,
Still don't understand how people are cruel the reasons are still unknown.
The memories are still tainted til this day,
Wish all of the anger would go away.
I have a lot of issues I'm trying to work through,
People analyze me and criticize me when they don't even have a clue.
Doesn't matter how much you care about someone it's never enough,
Because they just used you as a stepping stone because they're life was tough.
Whatever they can get by with, they will do,
Assuring you that they loved you.
At times I second guess what is real,
Because that's the only way I know how to feel.
It left me feeling hopeless, like what's the point,
My whole body was hurting even my joints.
I was always the only one giving,
While they were steadily taking.
Just never understood how I could be treated this way,
That's why the past interferes with my present til this day.
May 10, 2014
~The One and Only~
When you feel your hopes and dreams are just gone
That there's nothing to uplift your poor heart
Just take a good look around and you'll see
There's more to be thankful for than whats shown
For none can stop you from making new start
Only you decide what to do or be.
Try to be positive, content each day
Even if pain and sorrows break your heart
Be grateful give thanks to God on your knee
For tomorrow is a new day pray
His salvations free.
Dorian Petersen Potter
Believe it or do not, life is a gift:
do not resign yourself to its evils
or to its troubles and many, great ills;
O no! your purpose, though you feel adrift,
will never leave you—it will buoy you up
and keep you afloat: this know that God wills.
He shall anoint your paths on the high hills
of His Jerusalem, and fill your Cup
until it runs over—rejoice! Have heart!
For you are not alone in your sorrows
and pain, for God and His angels take part
in the despair and trials of your disease:
if you hold on there'd be more tomorrows
for you—it's a promise that you must seize.
I am stained from the things I've done,
I try to hide from them,
But they chase and I cannot outrun,
Slowly pulling me to requiem.
Depression has sung eternally,
The hate hangs in the notes,
Driving me to insanity,
The pain is so cutthroat.
Falling through the darkness,
The despair pulls me down with its weight,
It eats at me and leaves me lifeless,
But the pain slowly abates.
I am afraid to feel,
Anything thats real.