Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.
One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.
She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?
No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.
Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.
Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.
She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.
She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.
Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...
That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.
Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.
Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.
This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.
Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.
She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.
He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.
Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people,
who saw her cries for help.
And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.
She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.
Copyright © Madison Marie | Year Posted 2013
AM I ?
Am I Just Standing Here, or Am I Just Dead?
Am I So Full Of Fear, I Lost Myself Instead?
Am I A Nobody, that you can't defend me?
Am I Just Invisible, and you really don't pretend.
Am I Blind, Or I Just Don't Wish To See?
The Love I Cannot Find Is Right In Front Of Me!
Am I Hearing the Truth,
Or Have I Just Been Deceived?
Who Can I Trust?
Who Can I Believe?
Am I So Mad I Just Can't Understand,
Or Am I So Sad I Need A Shoulder And A friend?
Is It Just Me,
Or Am I All Alone?
I wrote this poem 22 years ago
I was pregnant, scared and alone:-(
Copyright © Poet Destroyer A | Year Posted 2013
Daddy, why did you go away?
Don't you know I wanted you to stay!
Daddy, when you left mom,
Don't you know you left me too?
Now all I do is cry and cry
--- I want to die!
Daddy, mommy say's it's better this way,
What does she know!
They're not enough band-aids to cover up the blues
Mom's kisses can't heal this kind of pain.
Daddy, I look around
No one stands in your garage
Daddy, You took every tool
Except the hammer and sitting stool
Daddy, I still miss you
--- I love you.
Dear Daddy, I'm all grown up now
Haven't seen you since I was 10
Daddy, I sit on your favorite chair,
No longer do I miss the way you caressed my hair.
Daddy, I'm taking the old hammer and this BRAND NEW saw,
It's time to patch all the holes mom punched in the wall
*The day you walked out on us*
Daddy, don't worry about the times I tripped and fell
Mom found someone to fix the loose boards,
Got tired of scraping my knees
Daddy, I finally realized I'm okay,
I agree with mom, it's better this way.
by- Not every dad is great (but step-dad YES!)
Copyright © Poet Destroyer A | Year Posted 2013
I do not know?
I'm sitting on the floor
I'm crying so much more
trying to erase this pain
trying to forget your face
sitting here with the blade in my hand
running so slow blood dripping down
in a deep red color
flowing freely the way i want to feel
I'm sitting on the floor
holding my hand out
I'm holding a bottle
a bottle filled with pills
I'm crying so hard
the pain is unbearable
I'm feeling so weak
I'm sitting here on this floor
holding a blade
crying like crazy
trying to take this pain away
I'm trying my best trying to fight
my eyelids feel heavy
my door is so far
the whispered yells to far
falling deep in to sleep
I'm laying on a bed
I'm so confused
where am i?
my throat feels sore
my body screams in pain
I'm looking around
I'm in a small white room
i try to move,
my hands are stuck
i try to get up
i feel restraints
what happened to me?
I'm laying on a bed
trying to get up
my head hurts
a nurse is here
a shot is administered
i drift to sleep
I'm in the psych ward
why am i here?
I'm lying on a bed
laying so still
my wrists hurts to no end
I'm crying out loud
screaming and cussing
my body hurts
i can't remember
all i remember are my bloody wrists
and a bottle of pills
all i remember is the pain i was in.....
Copyright © GRACIE GONZALEZ | Year Posted 2013
I stare at my ceiling,
I start to wonder, why am I not healing?
Then it dawns on me,
The nightmare clip starts to roll.
I shake and shiver and wince at every little thing.
I'm scared to death,
What does this all mean?
I start to cry,
I feel as if I might die.
Then I grab my blade,
The tears come quicker.
My breath starts to quicken,
My grip on the blade makes my knuckles turn white.
In the mirror is where I see that my ivory skin is now blotchy and red.
I tell myself, "This may be the last time, if you finally cut deep enough."
So I try my best not to make a sound
As I sit up in bed and hold my wrist out in front of me.
I count to three,
I put the blade to my wrist.
I start to add pressure.
I yank the blade across my skin,
It pierces and then I start to bleed.
I suddenly want it to stop,
But there's no going back now.
I wonder why it came to this,
I know nobody cares about me,
I know nobody is going to forget me.
Quietly I say, "I'm sorry."
But nobody is there,
No one will ever be.
I start to fade out of this world,
My addiction would finally be gone,
And so would I.
I was lost,
Lost and angry.
Suddenly, it was gone,
I woke up screaming.
The pain was oh-so real.
Copyright © Mackenzie Lakin | Year Posted 2013
A WISH -- In Memory Of
I wish I could blow air into your little lungs,
The day my daughter brought your stillborn body into this world.
Hold your little body warm,
And tell my little girl you have her cute little nose....
Count your little fingers, and kiss your little toes....
I could look into your daring eyes,
Facing a little boy, who's ready for this world
I could tell my daughter you have her beautiful brown eyes...
Sadly, it’s not like that.
How can I tell my daughter everything will be all right?
When a piece of my heart was stolen with her's,
When giving birth to her son, my grandson
March 25, 2013---- How it Hurts!
O’ how I wish, you entered this world crying
Instead, we're the ones left in tears of sorrow
How I wish you could be,
And not this feeling you left inside
How I wish, God could explain why o' why o' why?
Mostly, I WISH grandma could fix this and make
your mommy feel, the joy she was robbed of.
In memory of my grandson: ---Bael Lesley G.
Born March 25, 2013 --- RIP March 25, 2013
Copyright © Poet Destroyer A | Year Posted 2014
Had my heart not shattered into stainless steel shards,
I would have never been severed by a deck of playing cards.
Dealing with the black and red death of fifty two faces,
Shuffling wax coated cards looking for the bloody aces.
In tights worn and wasted, I've been the joker far too long,
Hands on the Kings sword, battles bow to the broken song.
Can I forgive you, for I cannot forget the agony,
A million lies and memories die under breath of me.
Paper cuts drip my poisoned blood in on the wax floor.
Fallen is this house of cards, I cannot stand you anymore.
Faces all they do is laugh at me, mocking my jester grin.
Chiming of these bells on my hat, heart broken harlequin.
Razor blade smile cuts open tear stained scars,
Burns on my palms from trying to reach the stars.
Withering like roses, blown away like ash in the breeze,
Wing clipped angel crawls on the ground with dirty knees.
Arrows hitting the bulls eye, painful piercing pride dies,
When is there ever any good in the saying of goodbyes.
Copyright © Casarah Nance | Year Posted 2014
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here
I can’t get back in control of my emotions
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy
I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help
Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help
Copyright © Sabrina Niday Hansel | Year Posted 2013
Tell me why, but tell me True-
Spare me the heartbreak of a Lie
I would lay forever in these meadows...
Forever, until I die!
To rid myself of all the Pain,
And the Sorrows of what I feel
To ease my Mind, my worried Brain
(Lord! The Cuts! I need to heal)
*Referring to my problems with "Borderline Personality Disorder"; many of us are "cutters"
Copyright © Just That Archaic Poet | Year Posted 2013
In a new road,
Rain will fall,
Wind may blow,
Swifting our woe.
The road forever on and on,
Many paths to choose,
Many paths to take,
Through the shadows,
Through the night,
Clouds going by,
There we will lie,
Seeing shivered land,
Seeing the dead seas...
Through the edge,
Miles to go,
Rain may fall,
Through the nightfall,
Through the twilight,
Through the dusk,
Through the dawn,
Paths on and on,
'Till the road comes along...
Copyright © Ruben A. Hernandez Diaz | Year Posted 2013
sometimes i talk to myself,
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all.
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister,
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it.
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room,
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy,
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
is daddy raping her?
is she doing drugs?
is anyone beating her?
did anyone molest her?
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse.
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat,
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why?
because daddy yelled
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...
Copyright © cassie hellberg | Year Posted 2013
He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died,
he has not been the same.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it,
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain,
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best,
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows
what happens next.
All results of
Copyright © Laura Hamilton | Year Posted 2013
She is the muse to her own sorrow;
She is the digger of her grave.
She is the painter of her ocean view
and every fatal wave.
She is the shadow of her Father;
She is the darkness in your sight.
She is the night without the stars
surrounding pale moonlight.
She is the music with no words;
She is sweet love without the reason.
She is your dreamer with submission
cold by warmth with every season.
She is your pet with cold intentions;
She is your baby scared and shaken.
She is the bold and pure- the lost and found,
She is a soul awakened.
Copyright © Dana Smith | Year Posted 2013
My heart was in such pain
I felt like I was going to go insane
I just don't know what to do
And my eyes full of tears that distort my view
I fell to my knees and felt the urge
My muscle tighten and pin needles struck me like a surge
My body was warm and with feelings so confused
My mind felt sadness had fused
I could not conquer my fears
I just sat down and fell into tears
When some close to you passes on
It felt like a warmth has gone
So I raised my hand towards a box that was empty with no tissue
I first was embarrass and had a little bit of issue
All my friends hugged me and said sorry for your loss
So now I cry in my bed and toss
April 14, 2013
Copyright © Reynaldo Mast | Year Posted 2013
SASH OF TEARS
The frigid air
suffocates slow the crimson heart:
sash of tears...
Pretty Little Lunes - Poetry Contest
Sponsor Name - Andrea Dietrich
Olive Eloisa Guillermo
9:50 pm, August 02, 2015
Copyright © Olive Eloisa Guillermo | Year Posted 2015
Standing at the church awaiting his bride,
‘twas meant to be the best day of his life;
When she arrives, she is not by his side.
His bitter tears he can no longer hide,
grieving for the one due to be his wife.
Standing at the church awaiting his bride
The coffin appears; her body inside,
She couldn’t be saved; the cancer was rife.
When she arrives, she is not by his side.
Looking to heaven, he prays God will guide,
giving him succour, at this time of strife.
Standing at the church awaiting his bride,
If she could see him she’d be full of pride;
they will meet again in the afterlife.
When she arrives, she is not by his side,
In his memory she’ll always reside.
his heart is broken; pain cuts like a knife.
Standing at the church awaiting his bride;
when she arrives, she is not by his side.
Contest - Shadow Hamilton – Villanelle’s and Terzanelle’s Only
My first attempt at Villanelle form
11th June 2105
Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015
Melancholy mourns miserably.
I gaze at the photo you left behind
my heart is adorned in anguish,
clashing with my mind, still hostile,
refusing to remember your name.
I tell myself, I don't miss you,
but I'm lying - this once upon a time,
has no happy ending - but, missing
you is all that I'm experiencing...
I need you - you need me not.
I miss you- you miss me not.
Sad songs on repeat, repeating repetitions
of resonant reverberating repercussions.
Vibrant echoes, ECHO, ECHO
Every lyrics comes alive, leaving me
consumed, confused with contradictions
competing for unaffectionate affections.
Emotionally challenged, but I feel torment,
do you even think about me at all?
Do you feel my agony? It hurts real bad.
Pain reminds me of your betrayal,
collaboration of broken promises and
words left unspoken. Those spoken
can't be repeated, if only the truth
had a tongue. Broken promises
means you are no fond reality..
It wasn't even me.. who corrupted your heart
It was he... Him, who I will never be,
the one you love, not me. I am me and he is he.
You are you and he has you, not me, I only have me.
I am lost, but know you won't find me.
No crossing those bridges you burnt,
making sure, I could not follow..
Invisible wounds seek visibility
through virgin tears upon unknown territory.
Irritating me to the verge of insanity.
When I thought about the future,
I only saw me and you. If I was
not the one, why did you say I was.
Wedding bells caused you alarms,
when I did you right - you did me wrong.
Conditions can't be unconditional,
but you misunderstood understanding.
I'm so hungry for love, I don't know who to love first.
I am not isolated, but I feel so alone...
My sorrowful soul can't stand in solitude..
I have no sorrow for tomorrow, nor time to borrow to grow
only to play with today - If I pray, maybe it wont slay
I won't say it will go away - so I let it stay and decay.
Now I evade those images painted in my mind,
forcing your memories into a bottomless abyss.
I'm lying here... Barely breathing...
No one will save me, I'm tired and don't care.
Don't you notice, you're slowly killing me...
If I was you - I would never have let me go
Now you can't sleep, when I remain awake
I have no reason to sleep....
No reason to wake in the morning..
Simple musings (word play).
21 February 2016
Copyright © Silent One | Year Posted 2016
This despair is mine,
this seed was sown
The roots spread fast
their depth unknown
But no one knows
For it is my own
Copyright © Joe Inca | Year Posted 2005
The missing light,
That love comes again...
Are like a hard glide,
In a shining rainbow's light...
All dreams and fantasies,
Can be reality,
Is based on reality...
But all histories aren't the same...
Sometimes, we dive,
In our lives...
For what you see,
For what it is...,
'Cause time passes,
But, memories remain...
To your heart,
The body, does,
The mind, thinks,
And, the heart, feels...,
While, the soul, lives...
To remember the past,
To live the present,
And to wait and pursue the future...
Listen to your heart,
Before you are telling goodbye,
Might lead to demise...,
But, remember that destiny can be changed...
Life is unpredictable,
But space and time,
Could be controlled...
And even if some die,
We may survive...
Might have an endless beginning...
All that remains,
Is to be reborn...
Copyright © Ruben A. Hernandez Diaz | Year Posted 2013
His eyes looked worn and full
of a lonely lifeless existence. Lost
in his world, wandering through.
The heartfelt pains are the
heavy burdens he carries with him.
His body and feet aching from
the miles of foraging through the
cold dark mean, city streets.
The Holidays are hardest for
him as he remembers vaguely
his first Christmas with his parents.
For a moment that thought
brings a warm loving feeling,
engulfing his heart releasing a
He then sees a family through
a picture window as he slowly walks
by, listening to their joyful
expressions of festivity.
Remembering his and escaping to
avoid the pain of his thoughts of
His clothes are worn like his teeth.
Needing medical attention, he deals
with the physical pains along with
the mental ones, on his own.
He finally sits down, puts his
hands over his head and breaks
down crying uncontrollably. Releasing
his life's experiences all at once!
Relieving all of his hearts pains,
through tears. Finally giving up!!
Michael Tor 10/6/2015
Copyright © michael tor | Year Posted 2015
I do not know?
My heart is broken
Shattered like smashed glass
Shards pierce my tortured soul
All I can do is ask …… why?
Why … why did you desert me when I needed you so …
You smiled that smile for the last time
The smile that attracted me to you in the first place
Your mouth curling up at the corners revealing those dimples…
Oh I could never resist dimples …
You were surrounded by machines … they were keeping you alive
Then suddenly the machine stopped beeping …
There was nothing else that could be done
Goodbye my love …….. gone forever
My thanks to Arthur Vaso for bringing this form called Infinite Dot Thirteen Verse to my attention
4th April 2015
Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015
I do not know?
Anger, pain and dramatic stress
The 3 things that I possess
Me, Reggie is okay at times
I sometimes choose to confide in my rhymes
I express my feelings through a pen
Just like some women get satisfaction through men.
This isn’t a poem because this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast, just too fast to be caught.
I hate being stressed
Just like I hate being possessed
I don’t mean to sound evil and mean
But I am different from the other people you have seen.
This is not a poem…this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast that they can’t be caught.
I have it good to some…others have it good to me
Some don’t realize how hard it is to be
A poet…it’s hard writin’ poetry with a lot of feeling
You feel forced to write something appealing
You break down cause cus’ you feel an obligation
To write good poetry that there breaks your concentration
I found a solution that my mind’s fighting
Maybe I should stop all the poetry and all the writing
These are fast ideas too fast to be caught
This isn’t a poem this is just a thought
Copyright © Reginald Sellers | Year Posted 2005
You have spun a careful web of lies.
Lying in disguise.
It’s made smooth as silk,
sparkling before my very eyes.
You whispered to me, spoke my name,
enticing me to follow.
Luring me into the silken web.
Its tendrils of soft silk, wrapping around me.
Caressing me into its self.
You wound it tight and warm around me.
Then I could not breathe.
Little did I know there would be no way out.
This web of lies you have woven,
cannot be undone.
Copyright © Gypsyof Essence | Year Posted 2013
"I’ll never understand how people can go on and live
The miracle of finding the strength to forgive
To resurrect peace, to close up wounds so deep
they pierce souls beneath heart beats
To be a willful slave to a loving God’s commands
The key to a freedom that I’ll never understand." -Shad
I am not one for articulate words;
Had words be tears, I would write for kings—
But here I am, raw with restraint,
As you tear our worlds apart.
One day I had desired you here,
To celebrate your creation far from compare;
And the next I bid you gone,
Anger tearing my words apart.
Now, all I wish is peace…
I cannot stand your creations lying to waste,
At your expense…for their laments…
Wishing only for peace…
To replace lament,
And replace all…
That I can never quite utter…
Feb 18, 2014
Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2014
I do not know?
From a distance she looks at peace, having fun doing her thing. But objects don't
always appear the same from afar, if you take a deep look into someone's eyes it
tells the story.
Her eyes once filled with hopes and dreams for the future full of happiness and
joy. Her eyes now sit only filled with the tears and sorrows of her life fading, like
the now dim twinkle that once shone so bright in her eyes.
If you look deep into her eyes, you notice the pain and torture she tries so hard to
cover up. If you ever have the chance to see pass that shield that tries to cover up
the pain in her eyes, you will see that her eyes are now empty.
Her eyes seem lifeless but in her mind she is being held a prisoner. Not
knowing if things will get better. For every time she thinks she is at her lowest
she finds out it is bottomless, like her cold, dark, empty, lifeless eyes.
She often wondered if it was really worth sticking it out, for if it wasn't to get better
what was the point.
She stands in front of the mirror. Tears running from her eyes down her cheek to
end at her heart. Her heart which is cold and frosted over.
She misses the happiness and joy she once felt, now she is numb and her heart
beats no more. She looks deep into her own cold eyes with anger, knowing it is
all her own fault why her sorry excuse of a life is this way.
She is tired of it all, she just wants it all to stop. She feels like her brain is about
to explode. She just wants silence and to be free of this pain and torture.
She takes one last look into that mirror, deep into those empty eyes. She closes
her eyes, her last tear rolls down her cheek. Her body trembles with anger.
She opens her eyes to notice them filled with anger and hate. She hated that
person in the mirror more than anyone could imagine. Her fist clenched with
furry, she smashed the mirror.
She looked at herself in the mirror on the floor. She was broken in a million
pieces and knew she could never be put back together. She picked up the piece
of glass that her eyes were upon. She then fell to the floor and lied in the
shattered glass that was her life.
Her eyes are open. The pain and suffering is gone. She is released from the
torturing hell that was her life. She is free now and the twinkle now forever back in
Copyright © Jessica Tippin | Year Posted 2006
DEMONS ALSO CRY
Beyond the crave for death
All I sought was first,
Weep-not my newborn soul
Where fireflies shine lighter than the lamps
And fishes swam faster than their homes
Like trampled troubled tramps,
Then, demons also cry.
Groans and moans of pain,
Down they roam like rain
Memories sparked with flashes of feisty flare
For all that is left is nothing but darkness
Piercing the thread of our bond
That even angels dare not dare
Then, demons also cry
Here, days brimmed with sadness
To miscarriage of nights darkness
That even birds glide backward
And when asked why, we say, its nature to nurture
Conscience lye frozen in muss, has God punished us?
Que sera, sera and all go wayward,
Then, demons are also crying
By Tutuola michael
Copyright © tutuola michael | Year Posted 2013
Pain covered by beauty,
Standing behind a mirror of myself,
Cut deeply by the shattering pieces as my true self emerges.
Behold the truth that lies behind my placid eyes,
The heart wrenching pain hidden by my laugh,
I am what this world has made me to be,
Cruel, Angry, Torn.
Seeking answers in my mind,
I feel there is no tangible hope.
I cannot grasp what i have never trully believed to be there.
I can only sit and wait for the inevitable,
I can only sit and wait with no one but my shadow beside me,
Reminding me how dark this world can be.
Embittered at what my once joyful life has turned into,
A blaze of hate and sorrow consumes me entirely,
Until I am forced to relinquish the pain and tears built up inside me.
At that moment I am rendered helpless,
I open my eyes only to find myself embattled.
These enemies of mine are not human but the result of what they have caused.
Copyright © suzanne hoyt | Year Posted 2010
Painting 7: FORBIDDEN
Before darkness steals the light of day,
entering as graceful as the morning mist
in the window ajar, the bitter breeze:
My light clothes short - dances with the curtain
but like the clouds, calm; I stand. My splayed
hands upon the glass condensation.
I exhale in the cold, enduring dreams surge.
Over the years, my golden hair has grown
an old rugged toy is my loyal company.
My eyes journey into the quiet of the world outside.
I wonder what is beyond the sketch of towering trees
as each time the wind lullabies.
I behold their branches' dipping and bowing;
I wish to smell the pines released, they tease.
I am a young girl and I am full of dreams.
Time races and I am forbidden; the limitless
horizon lures. Oh how long, I've wanted to reach,
I've wanted to touch. I've wanted to fly,
I even cried and shouted, I waited,
and waited but no one frees me.
~~Inspired by the painting: Child in a Red Apron
(L’Enfant au tablier rouge)
__Olive Eloisa D. Guillermo__
Copyright © Olive Eloisa Guillermo | Year Posted 2016
I was laying on the beach
On a hot August morn
A sudden pain in my gut
I knew that something was wrong
It's Eddie. I felt it so strong
I Picked up my cell and I called
The emotional pain of it all
My body curled up in a ball
I sat up again to be sure,
the solar plexus was sore
Why to I question these signs
I know that there isn't a cure
For the feelings I want to ignore
He never answered the phone
I packed up my stuff and went home
I worried all day and all night
The sunrise brought more than just light
The loud banging began at the door
I peeked through the blinds to be sure
There were cops all over the street
Guns drawn made the picture complete
I opened the door full of fear
Oh my God! Why are they here?
My heart dropped, I wanted to hide
When he said "Sgt. White, homicide."
Is your son home he wanted to know
With his foot in the door I said no
Do you mind if we just have a look
And I backed up after biting the hook
They swarmed through the house
Guns up in the air
Upstairs to his room
They looked everywhere
My solar plexus was right
I'm glad I came home last night
But where did he go? I needed to know
His innocence still in my sight
The officer said have a seat
Let's talk about where he could be
A boy was found dead in the street
A witness put Ed at the scene
Don't worry he said as I pulled my robe tight
Your son was a victim of robbery last night
I know he's afraid to come out in the light
I didn't believe him. But I knew he was right.
My son was afraid and now I knew why
He took someone's life who's mother will cry
He was just seventeen a year younger than Ed
Why do these kids seem to be so misled?
What happened that night is a mom's biggest fear
A child was lost in the drug war I hear
The exchange in the alley of weed for the cash
Was a set up to rob him of all that he had
When the kid put a gun against my son's head
Said 'empty your pockets' or soon you'll be dead
He had no idea that the pocket was packed
With a 38 special protecting the cash
The rest of story is packed in a box
The panic, the fear, the action, the shock
He emptied the gun and ran for his life
While Nicholas bled on the pavement that night
My heart cries to God asking why must I be
The mom of the kid who killed her baby
I cry for her loss as if it were mine
I beg her forgiveness, and I offer her mine.
You don't want to be either one of these moms
Our children at risk, a sign of the times
God please shine Your light on this good Earth today
We're all human beings who've just lost our way.
Copyright © karen feist | Year Posted 2008
Mother’s dirty offender seeded life that demanded nurture, demanded attention….
Demanded unforeseen fate
Twins, thrust upon her…. strained to love, and yet….
This happening urged her to live
Her head lifted, agitated,
Soaked from head to toe in the sweat of her labors…
The sight of blood reached her tear-blurred eyes heightening the pain
As she cried…
“May I toil till love reaches the mouth of hurt he inflicted!!!”
And, as her thrashing heart ceased beating,
The dear children, were born, one screaming, one gazing…
The other’s neck protruding from a little chest…
Big eyes observing, squinting, shuddering….
Mouth sputtering… and breath ceasing….
This little girl was born, a woman Mother once was—
Her death a source and justification to hate all men
A dreamy-eyed artist with yearnings driving her under,
Lips pure as newfound blossom, kissed once, though never plucked
Reaching for skies that welcomed her wishes,
Her seldom smiles brought tears to the sun
Her hair in curls of silk did bounce upon her back,
As every roving eye could not hold back,
The moist little build-up of awe…
Mouth ajar, for there lived upon this growing girl, surely…. no flaw
Save to her, tormenting imperfection….
For there… heavier and heavier everyday….the secret upon her chest—
Her poor dead brother,
Loved religiously by her martyr mother
Whom she hid under layers of clothes with much shame,
Never to reveal to the men who yearned to see her
Brother was always there, staring into the void,
A tumor child, shriveled, though gazing
A wretched burden to the girl now woman,
Her heart pounding with unanswered questions…
“Father...” She whispered, alone.
“Salt upon the wound, worthless is one consumed,
By death dangling upon my very chest…
I cannot live life like the rest,
The pretty girls of age, with plump and polished breast,
With skin revealed so freely,
Smiles countless, and genuinely……….
See, when a woman is just a woman,
Her opportunities are as easy as her grin,
And her future is clear as her flawless skin…
She bears no little boy attached to her heated body,
She enjoys little frivolous walks in arms she trusts…
Chance seemingly on their side…
Chance with me, dying, where Brother has died…
My heart could not bear to remove Brother,
Though even death I do not fear….
Father, I ask…now why,
Why am I here…?
And why are they gone?
All of them….Mother….Brother…..and…. him….”
Standing up, her face hardened
She put on her clothes and makeup, as was her routine,
And with a multicolored scarf she wrapped around her neck and chest
Covering the outline of her ever-gazing Brother
She could not think away from the scarf…
From what was gazing under…
And upon meeting another,
Anxiety raided her every being…
So afraid….and so unsure….
We are born,
Either man, or woman…
Acceptance of one another’s differences and flaws
Reduces fear of self, replenishes the soul
And love, above all,
Must meander through complications, defects, and serendipity
With a grace only leading one to fulfillment and happiness
-Inspired by Justin Bordner’s ‘When a Woman is Just a Woman’ contest
Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2015