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Sad Pain Poems | Sad Poems About Pain

These Sad Pain poems are examples of Sad poems about Pain. These are the best examples of Sad Pain poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Verse | |

AM I

AM  I ?

Am I Just Standing Here, or Am I Just Dead?
Am I So Full Of Fear, I Lost Myself Instead?

Am I A Nobody, that you can't defend me?
OR
Am I Just Invisible, and you really don't pretend.

Am I Blind, Or I Just Don't Wish To See?
The Love I Cannot Find Is Right In Front Of Me!

Am I Hearing the Truth,
Or Have I Just Been Deceived?
Who Can I Trust?
Who Can I Believe?

Am I So Mad I Just Can't Understand,
Or Am I So Sad I Need A Shoulder And A friend?

Is It Just Me, 
Or Am I All Alone?

***

I wrote this poem 22 years ago
I was pregnant, scared and alone:-( 


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy

Daddy

Daddy, why did you go away,
Don't you know I wanted you to stay!

Daddy, when you left mom,
Don't you know you left me too.
Now all I do is cry and cry
--- I want to die!

Daddy, mommy say's it's better this way,
What does she know!
There's not enough band-aids to cover up the blues
Mom's kisses can't heal this kind of pain.

Daddy, I look around 
No one stands in your garage
Daddy, You took every tool
Except the hammer and sitting stool
Daddy, I still miss you 
--- I love you. 

***
***
Dear Daddy, I'm all grown up now
Haven't seen you since I was 10

Daddy, I sit on your favorite chair,
No longer do I miss the way you caressed my hair.
Daddy, I'm taking the old hammer and this BRAND NEW saw,
It's time to patch all the holes mom punched in the wall 
*The day you walked out on us*
Daddy, don't worry about the times I tripped and fell
Mom, found someone to fix  the loose boards,
Got tired of scraping my knees 

Daddy, I finally realized I'm okay,
I agree with mom, it's better this way.

by;pd


Details | I do not know? | |

bloody wrists

I'm sitting on the floor
I'm crying so much more
trying to erase this pain
trying to forget your face
sitting here with the blade in my hand
running so slow blood dripping down
in a deep red color
flowing freely the way i want to feel

I'm sitting on the floor 
holding my hand out
I'm holding a bottle
a bottle filled with pills
I'm crying so hard
the pain is unbearable
I'm feeling so weak 

I'm sitting here on this floor 
holding a blade
crying like crazy
trying to take this pain away
I'm trying my best trying to fight
my eyelids feel heavy
my door is so far
the whispered yells to far
falling deep in to sleep

deep..deep..deep..deep
I'm laying on a bed
I'm so confused 
where am i?
my throat feels sore
my body screams in pain
I'm looking around
I'm in a small white room

i try to move,
my hands are stuck
i try to get up
i feel restraints 
what happened to me?

I'm laying on a bed
trying to get up
my head hurts
a nurse is here
a shot is administered 
i drift to sleep
I'm in the psych ward
why am i here?

I'm lying on a bed
laying so still 
my wrists hurts to no end
I'm crying out loud
screaming and cussing
my body hurts
i can't remember

all i remember are my bloody wrists
and a bottle of pills
all i remember is the pain i was in.....





Details | Free verse | |

Nightmares and Razor Blades

I stare at my ceiling,
I start to wonder, why am I not healing?
Then it dawns on me,
The nightmare clip starts to roll.
I shake and shiver and wince at every little thing.
I'm scared to death, 
What does this all mean?
I start to cry,
I feel as if I might die.
Then I grab my blade, 
The tears come quicker.
My breath starts to quicken,
My grip on the blade makes my knuckles turn white.
In the mirror is where I see that my ivory skin is now blotchy and red.
I tell myself, "This may be the last time, if you finally cut deep enough."
So I try my best not to make a sound 
As I sit up in bed and hold my wrist out in front of me. 
I count to three,
One, 
I put the blade to my wrist.
Two,
I start to add pressure.
Three,
I yank the blade across my skin,
It pierces and then I start to bleed.
I suddenly want it to stop, 
But there's no going back now. 
I wonder why it came to this,
I know nobody cares about me,
I know nobody is going to forget me.
Quietly I say, "I'm sorry."
But nobody is there,
No one will ever be.
I start to fade out of this world,
My addiction would finally be gone,
And so would I.
I was lost, 
Lost and angry. 
Suddenly, it was gone,
I woke up screaming.
The pain was oh-so real.


Details | Free verse | |

A Wish -re-post-

A WISH -- In Memory Of 

"I Wish"

I wish I could blow air into your little lungs, 
The day my daughter brought your stillborn body into this world. 
Hold your little body warm, 
And tell my little girl you have her cute little nose....
Count your little fingers, and kiss your little toes....

I wish, 
I could look into your daring eyes, 
Facing a little boy, who's ready for this world
I wish,
I could tell my daughter you have her beautiful brown eyes...
Sadly, it’s not like that.
How can I tell my daughter everything will be all right?
When a piece of my heart was stolen with her's,
When giving birth to her son, my grandson 
March 25, 2013---- How it Hurts! 
~~~
O’ how I wish, you entered this world crying
Instead, we're the ones left in tears of sorrow
~~~
How I wish you could be, 
And not this feeling you left inside
How I wish, God could explain why o' why o' why?

Mostly, I WISH grandma could fix this, and make 
your mommy feel, the joy she was robbed of.

In memory of my grandson: ---Bael Lesley G.
Born March 25, 2013  ---   RIP March 25, 2013

----------
by;PD  :-(


Details | Rhyme | |

Her Masterpiece Is Her Story

Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.

One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.

She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?

No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.

Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.

Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.

She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.

She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.

Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...

That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.

Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.

Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.

This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.

Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.

She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.

He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.

Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people, 
who saw her cries for help.

And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.

She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.


Details | Narrative | |

New Road

In a new road,
Rain will fall,
Wind may blow,
Swifting our woe.

The road forever on and on,
Many paths to choose,
Many paths to take,
Home behind,
World ahead...

Through the shadows,
Through the night,
Clouds going by,
There we will lie,
Very deep,
Seeing shivered land,
Seeing the dead seas...

Through the edge,
Miles to go,
Singing by,
Darkness rising,
Vanishing light,
Hollow flourishing,
Going by,
World ahead,
Home behind...

Rain may fall,
Through the nightfall,
Through the twilight,
Through the dusk,
Through the dawn,
Beyond mountains,
Beyond stones,
Standing strong,
Wandering lost,
World ahead,
Home behing,
Paths on and on,
'Till the road comes along...


Details | Free verse | |

embattled

Pain covered by beauty,
Standing behind a mirror of myself, 
Cut deeply by the shattering pieces as my true self emerges.
Behold the truth that lies behind my placid eyes,
The heart wrenching pain hidden by my laugh,
I am what this world has made me to be,
Cruel, Angry, Torn.
Seeking answers in my mind,
I feel there is no tangible hope.
I cannot grasp what i have never trully believed to be there.
I can only sit and wait for the inevitable,
I can only sit and wait with no one but my shadow beside me,
Daunting me,
Reminding me how dark this world can be.
Embittered at what my once joyful life has turned into,
A blaze of hate and sorrow consumes me entirely, 
Until I am forced to relinquish the pain and tears built up inside me.
At that moment I am rendered helpless,
I open my eyes only to find myself embattled.
These enimies of mine are not human but the result of what they have caused.


Details | I do not know? | |

Bath of Blood

I sit here shaking in this warm water
The pain has come, for my life to barter.
Should i do it, let everything go.
I grab that razor and never let go.

I tilt my head back and take a breath
I soon feel the pain inside my chest.
My heart is pounding faster and faster.
I think in my head now I\'m the master.

Cutting and cutting away that pain
as the blood drips down, my life slowly fades.
I drop the blade, and watch it fade, into the 
Bath of blood that i have made.

Everythings gone, my life to.
into that red liquid, that makes me and you.
i am now free of all that pain, and all the suffering that never went away.

So now i lay here in my Bath of blood, looking down in at the soapy suds. Was it 
a dream or was it a fantasy.
I look at my wrists....and they still bleed.


Details | Free verse | |

How I Danced!

The night is cold, awaiting the early light of dawn
My body shivers, my feet like ice, I long for sleep but it does not come 
Like so many lonely hours in the darkness
The ache of my bones so cruel and relentless

Tears on my pillow, I once again slip from the warm covers
Leaving the placid breath beside me, never knowing I’ve gone
I would give so much to have the peace of slumber
The chance to dream of an earlier life, one that is gone now

Where I danced with the clouds on a warm spring day
Ran in the woods chasing butterflies or a humming bird 
The gentle breeze brushing against my skin
My soul free to be who I am, without the pain of this withering shell

Some nights I long for an end to this misery
Life has dealt such a difficult challenge
But more often, I sit in the dim light of the morning
Remembering my youth and the freedom that it gave

How I laughed in its face, knowing I would always be young
That I would always be ready to take on the world unencumbered
How naïve…and how unappreciative of the wonders of my youthful body
Pushing the limits of this fragile home to my soul, never fearing an end to my 
flight

But the dawn comes, and I bravely go on to face another day
Determined to make it the best possible
Although this life, even with it’s wicked edge, so unexpected
Arrived before I was ready to give up my wonderful dance of freedom

I rub my twisted joints, warming them near the fire
Knowing that, even through the pain there is hope
For my mind is sharp, my wit is clever 
And I may yet find joys in the brightness and warmth of this new sun

For I can still hear the birds sing their happy tunes
Watch the grandchildren’s innocent play, their melodic giggles of joy
And remember how it was not so long ago…
And how I danced! 


Details | Free verse | |

The Students into Terrorism

The students live in Peshawar
Which is city of flowers
University of terrorism.

The students don't know what is the religion
They don't understand about Jehad 
Actually they have no interest on these...

They love cricket, football, hockey, athletics, cartoon, movie
They read literature, science, history, geography, mathematics
They respect humanism with their god gifted smile
They write poetry about nature...

Unfortunately they are killed by some rented learned killers
The students were not enemy of the killers...

Both are victims by naked politics  
They become two faces of the world.

Believe me dear children
I am crying...
The soul of India is crying...
The Almighty is crying...

We are powerless in the world like you
We have only tears for you...

SANDIP GOSWAMI, INDIA


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Narrative | |

The Empty Tissue Box

My heart was in such pain
I felt like I was going to go insane
I just don't know what to do 
And my eyes full of tears that distort my view

I fell to my knees and felt the urge
My muscle tighten and pin needles struck me like a surge
My body was warm and with feelings so confused
My mind felt sadness had fused

I could not conquer my fears
I just sat down and fell into tears
When some close to you passes on
It felt like a warmth has gone

So I raised my hand towards a box that was empty with no tissue
I first was embarrass and had a little bit of issue
All my friends hugged me and said sorry for your loss
So now I cry in my bed and toss


April 14, 2013


Details | Rhyme | |

A Soul Awakened

She is the muse to her own sorrow; She is the digger of her grave. She is the painter of her ocean view and every fatal wave. She is the shadow of her Father; She is the darkness in your sight. She is the night without the stars surrounding pale moonlight. She is the music with no words; She is sweet love without the reason. She is your dreamer with submission cold by warmth with every season. She is your pet with cold intentions; She is your baby scared and shaken. She is the bold and pure- the lost and found, She is a soul awakened.


Details | Free verse | |

Rebirth

Ignite,
The missing light,
Forget,
What's behind.
Just believe,
That love comes again...

'Cause,
The skies,
Are like a hard glide,
In a shining rainbow's light...

All dreams and fantasies,
Can be reality,
'Cause fantasy,
Is based on reality...
But all histories aren't the same...

'Cause,
Sometimes, we dive,
In our lives...

So,
Don't judge,
For what you see,
Judge,
For what it is...,
'Cause time passes,
But, memories remain...

And,
Listen,
To your heart,
'Cause,
The body, does,
The mind, thinks,
And, the heart, feels...,
While, the soul, lives...

So,
Always remember,
To remember the past,
To live the present,
And to wait and pursue the future...

Listen to your heart,
Before you are telling goodbye,
'Cause destiny,
Might lead to demise...,
But, remember that destiny can be changed...

Life is unpredictable,
But space and time,
Could be controlled...
And even if some die,
We may survive...

Remember,
That life,
Might have an endless beginning...

All that remains,
Is to be reborn...


Details | Narrative | |

DEMONS ALSO CRY

DEMONS ALSO CRY

Beyond the crave for death
All I sought was first,
Weep-not my newborn soul
Where fireflies shine lighter than the lamps
And fishes swam faster than their homes
Like  trampled troubled tramps,
Then, demons also cry.

Groans and moans of pain,
Down they roam like rain
Memories sparked with flashes of feisty flare
For all that is left is nothing but darkness
Piercing the thread of our bond
That even angels dare not dare
Then, demons also cry

Here, days brimmed with sadness
To miscarriage of nights darkness
That even birds glide backward
And when asked why, we say, its nature to nurture
Conscience lye frozen in muss, has God punished us?
Que sera, sera and all go wayward,
Then, demons are also crying
						By Tutuola michael


Details | Rhyme | |

Her Tears Arrived Today

Those tears that never came
When her heart was burnt by a lover's flame
Those tears that never flowed
When off into the sunset her lover rode
Those tears that weren't released
When he was devoured by the jealous beast
Those tears never went away
All her tears arrived today

The anger that she never felt
At the unfair hand that she was dealt
The anger that never grew
When off the handle her father flew
The anger that never festered
When everyone always seemed to best her
That anger never went away
All her anger arrived today

The pain that she ignored
Every time that she was floored
The pain that made her numb
Inflicted by every one
The pain that she suppressed
On the wounds that were left undressed
That pain never went away
All her pain arrived today

That bottle of pills empty today
Was full of pills just yesterday
No more prayers could she come to pray
As the tears, anger and pain all slipped away


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Silken Web

You have spun a careful web of lies.
Lying in disguise.
It’s made smooth as silk,
sparkling before my very eyes.

You whispered to me, spoke my name, 
enticing me to follow.
Luring me into the silken web.
Its tendrils of soft silk, wrapping around me.
Caressing me into its self.

You wound it tight and warm around me.
Then I could not breathe.
Little did I know there would be no way out.
This web of lies you have woven, 
cannot be undone.

GypsyofEssence


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Stronger Than She Thinks.....

She is a loving mother, 
 her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
 A price too steep to have to pay.

Holds her head up high, 
 when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked, 
 but as you see, its no easy task.

She's strong and still fights, 
 even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids, 
 trying hard to keep the pain hid.

She goes to court and really fights, 
 only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
 Her confidence, they constantly rattle.

Goes to work and tries to smile, 
 as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister, 
 who called and let her know I missed her.

I had my own tumultuous issues, 
 it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
 By her side her family should stand.

Instead they all give her grief.
 Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
 Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?

A better sister, I'll try to be.
 Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
 Her smile I'd like to see more.

I know that's no easy task.
 But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
 She's stronger than she ever thinks.




A combined effort for Kristy.....


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Other Mom

I was laying on the beach
On a hot August morn
A sudden pain in my gut
I knew that something was wrong
It's Eddie.  I felt it so strong
I Picked up my cell and I called
The emotional pain of it all
My body curled up in a ball
I sat up again to be sure, 
the solar plexus was sore
Why to I question these signs
I know that there isn't a cure
For the feelings I want to ignore
He never answered the phone
I packed up my stuff and went home
I worried all day and all night
The sunrise brought more than just light
The loud banging began at the door
I peeked through the blinds to be sure
There were cops all over the street
Guns drawn made the picture complete
I opened the door full of fear
Oh my God!  Why are they here?
My heart dropped, I wanted to hide
When he said "Sgt. White, homicide."
Is your son home he wanted to know
With his foot in the door I said no
Do you mind if we just have a look
And I backed up after biting the hook
They swarmed through the house 
Guns up in the air
Upstairs to his room
They looked everywhere
My solar plexus was right
I'm glad I came home last night
But where did he go?  I needed to know
His innocence still in my sight
The officer said have a seat
Let's talk about where he could be
A boy was found dead in the street
A witness put Ed at the scene
Don't worry he said as I pulled my robe tight
Your son was a victim of robbery last night
I know he's afraid to come out in the light
I didn't believe him.  But I knew he was right.
My son was afraid and now I knew why
He took someone's life who's mother will cry
He was just seventeen a year younger than Ed
Why do these kids seem to be so misled?

What happened that night is a mom's biggest fear
A child was lost in the drug war I hear
The exchange in the alley of weed for the cash
Was a set up to rob him of all  that he had
When the kid put a gun against my son's head
Said 'empty your pockets' or soon you'll be dead
He had no idea that the pocket was packed
With a 38 special protecting the cash
The rest of story is packed in a box
The panic, the fear, the action, the shock
He emptied the gun and ran for his life
While Nicholas bled on the pavement that night
My heart cries to God asking why must I be
The mom of the kid who killed her baby
I cry for her loss as if it were mine
I beg her forgiveness, and I offer her mine.
You don't want to be either one of these moms
Our children at risk, a sign of the times
God please shine Your light on this good Earth today
We're all human beings who've just lost our way.


Details | Rhyme | |

Tomorrow's A New Memory

The absent mind rewinds the time pursued by each regret,
For as the lore that came before brought memories to forget.
And in the seed that failed to feed a lovers sweet duet,
A swift demise in plain disguise stood ready to be met.

This was the sorrow that bled of tomorrow, for each day would soon bring the rest;
Every reminder was fiercer, yet kinder, and soon would begin its conquest.
The roses have hardened in paper-back gardens; the pages in which they were pressed...
It's all that remains from the valentine chains that had nothing but pain to suggest.

The shackles will tighten unless you enlighten the truth of your young history:
The fact that the pain can help you retain the lessons of each mystery.
Now that the past has fallen at last, so has your dark enemy...
The night-light grows dreary as thoughts to theory: tomorrow's a new memory.


Details | Free verse | |

A Forlorn Cry

Why can’t you hear my forlorn cry?
Its restless desire calls out each night
Waiting for you to answer it 
But you ignore my forlorn cry
Only thinking of your own self
Why won’t you answer my helpless call?
Its feeble sound grows softer each day
Hoping you will come to its aid
But you ignore my helpless call
Not thinking of the pain that burns in me
Each time you ignore my forlorn cry
You fuel the burning pain 
I have suffered all my life


Details | Lyric | |

To Be With You

I should have held on tighter
When I had you in my grasp
For now I’m just a distant fading 
Memory in your past
My smile can hide the sadness
My tears are wiped away
But all this pain I feel inside
I live with day by day 
The pathway to my heart
Is just a worn and beaten track
But till I have you by my side 
I’ll just keep running back
You left me with a memory
That no one else can steal
But left me with a heartache
No one else can ever heal
What lies in my future now
What am I to do
How can I be happy
When in life I don’t have you
My heart just aches completely
Every hour every day
It’s only when I’m with you
That this pain will go away
I know I have to let you go
Instead of holding on
For you were never mine
To me, you never did belong
Bottled up inside me 
Are the words I've never said
Feelings that I've never shown
Lines you never read 
I want to live my life with you
Tomorrow and today
For better and for worse
Beside you all the way
To be there when you need me
Until this world is through
And when our time is over
I will spend the end with you...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Lyric | |

Watch Me Die

The petals of a rose, they tremble and they fall
Just like my aching heart, my backs against a wall
so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die

Im in an empty room...
all hope disenegrates.
nothing left to do but get drunken, high
im willing to do anything just to get by

so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die
Im forced to sit and watch me die


Details | I do not know? | |

Refused To See

There are still nights
Up alone, I think of you
How right you were
But still how very wrong 
How can that be?
I battle amongst myself
Temptation to call
Just want to hear your voice
See your face
Though I know it’s wrong
I want to touch your lips
With mine
Remember the kiss I left?
How sweet and gentle
The lips of an angel 
You gave it what you could
I asked for more
You had nothing left 
Though you looked 
So I left 
Feeling you were used
What you gave me
Was what I was after
I refused to change
Refused to see



Details | Free verse | |

All I Wish Is Peace

"I’ll never understand how people can go on and live
The miracle of finding the strength to forgive
To resurrect peace, to close up wounds so deep
they pierce souls beneath heart beats
To be a willful slave to a loving God’s commands
The key to a freedom that I’ll never understand." -Shad

I am not one for articulate words; Had words be tears, I would write for kings— But here I am, raw with restraint, As you tear our worlds apart. One day I had desired you here, To celebrate your creation far from compare; And the next I bid you gone, Anger tearing my words apart. Now, all I wish is peace… I cannot stand your creations lying to waste, At your expense…for their laments… Wishing only for peace… To replace lament, And replace all… Words— That I can never quite utter…
Feb 18, 2014


Details | Blank verse | |

Blood and Bullets

Inspired by the Connecticut tragedy and another minor shooting that happened in my home state
-------------------------------------

Blood and Bullets

That night we cried ourselves to sleep
For each of the little children the blood did weep
Serve upon this misery and damage
No words will excuse the savage

The vultures swoop, spread the sugar coated lies
But still the frozen child dies
Yet they still wish to remove what little safety we have
But they fail to see that will not stop the slings and arrows they have

For the media projects the fame they crave
Like wild dingos they consume what we fail to save
Serve and protect is not the duty of just some but all as a whole
ALL AS A WHOLE

And we fail
And we fail

The cameras prance around like costumed horses in a dance
All the while the mud splattered reality burns and singes the lines of damned fantasies
We are to blame, shining glitter and fame on the damned souls that should be burned
We spit acidic words of hate all the while praising them in glittering spectral lights of fame 
They do not heed the angry words, but revel in the talk of them...them..
Them...

It's

All

About

THE KILLER

Blood and bullets pollute the spoiled ground but no one cares for the rotten
Sadness rings through for a week but soon the victims are forgotten
But no one forgets the criminal...Infamous
He is immortalized by the fame...fame...infamous

Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets

Blood stains
Bullets jump

dead forgotten
left rotten

Monster remembered

remembered

Blood and bullets

Blood

and bullets


Details | I do not know? | |

The Hidden Sadness Behind Her Eyes

From a distance she looks at peace, having fun doing her thing. But objects don't 
always appear the same from afar, if you take a deep look into someone's eyes it 
tells the story.

Her eyes once filled with hopes and dreams for the future full of happiness and 
joy. Her eyes now sit only filled with the tears and sorrows of her life fading, like 
the now dim twinkle that once shone so bright in her eyes.

If you look deep into her eyes, you notice the pain and torture she tries so hard to 
cover up. If you ever have the chance to see pass that shield that tries to cover up 
the pain in her eyes, you will see that her eyes are now empty.

Her eyes seem lifeless but in her mind she is being held a prisoner. Not 
knowing if things will get better. For every time she thinks she is at her lowest 
she finds out it is bottomless, like her cold, dark, empty, lifeless eyes.

She often wondered if it was really worth sticking it out, for if it wasn't to get better 
what was the point.

She stands in front of the mirror. Tears running from her eyes down her cheek to 
end at her heart. Her heart which is cold and frosted over.

She misses the happiness and joy she once felt, now she is numb and her heart 
beats no more. She looks deep into her own cold eyes with anger, knowing it is 
all her own fault why her sorry excuse of a life is this way.

She is tired of it all, she just wants it all to stop. She feels like her brain is about 
to explode. She just wants silence and to be free of this pain and torture.

She takes one last look into that mirror, deep into those empty eyes. She closes 
her eyes, her last tear rolls down her cheek. Her body trembles with anger.

She opens her eyes to notice them filled with anger and hate. She hated that 
person in the mirror more than anyone could imagine. Her fist clenched with 
furry, she smashed the mirror.

She looked at herself in the mirror on the floor. She was broken in a million 
pieces and knew she could never be put back together. She picked up the piece 
of glass that her eyes were upon. She then fell to the floor and lied in the 
shattered glass that was her life.

Her eyes are open. The pain and suffering is gone. She is released from the 
torturing hell that was her life. She is free now and the twinkle now forever back in 
her eyes.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Only Way

A life of pain and mistaken thoughts
Afew sliced veins a kid mistaught
A kids mistrust
His soul in tatters
To his wrist this razor was thrust
His dreams shattered
A life of lies
A kid misunderstood
His unheard cries
Wanting nothing but to cause some good
Sitting alone
Thinking of his past
His future unknown
For this day will be his last
Wanting only for this pain to be gone
Suicide, the only way he knows how
So he knows this dawn
It will be over now, all over
He grabs his blade
Holds it to his wrist
His life betrayed
Longing to feel its final kiss
He screams
Blood starting to gush
It was just like his dreams
Such a rush
He smiles knowing
The pain is over now
His blood if flowing
It was the only way he knew how


Details | I do not know? | |

A Disease

Depression is a disease
A disease just like cancer
Some people underestimate it
“Snap out of it” is not an answer.

I may not have any open sores
Or lumps that you can see
They are all on the inside
And the pain won’t let me be

I have tons of scars
That covers my wrist
I lie awake at night and pray
That by death I may be kissed

It’s a real pain inside
People don’t understand
They are not willing to give
The love I demand

On the outside I look healthy
On the inside I know I’m not
The pain gets worse everyday
Even worse that I could have thought

I withdraw myself and put myself
In a place where I can’t be seen
All because life can be so
So extremely mean

If I go missing, then please don’t bother
Don’t worry your little head
Because the next time you find me
I may as well be dead



Details | Rhyme | |

Dry Your Tears

Dry your tears, clear your eyes
Ease your pain with mournful sighs
Soon the grief will fade away,
When you hear what i have to say.

I don't mean to pry
In your business or life,
But i don't like it when you cry...
I want to know what is wrong in your life!

Don't shed away
Tell me what's wrong
And everything will be okay,
No matter what you say.

Everybody has problems,
And everyone has pain,
If you don't deal with them,
You'll have nothing to gain.

Dry your tears, clear your eyes
Ease your pain with mournful sighs'
Soon the grief will fade away......
When you hear what i have to say!


Details | Lyric | |

Why me, cruel world, WHY ME?

Cruel, cruel world,
Why me?
I never hurt you,
Why must you hurt me?

When does it stop?
That tearing pain inside me.
Will it ever leave?
It's slowly driving me crazy.

This life will end,
But why must I wait?
Let me go now,
I want it to end!

Don't hold me here,
In pain that's so deep.
Take me away,
To a better place.

I want out,
I never wanted this.
Why should I live?
I don't want to be here!

You tear me apart,
You say to be strong.
I'm crackling and crumbling,
As I scream out in rage;

        WHY ME?


Details | Quatrain | |

Minor Discomfort

Does everybody feel the same as I do?
Lost? Adrift? Disconnected? Confused?
Does anyone know how to ease the hurt of truth
For the accuser, as well as the accused?

I've heard there's bliss
Found somewhere in ignorance
For those who have been stripped
Of their already fleeting innocence

So I continue to move through this life
Practiced smile, that doesn't quite reach my eyes
Which instead reflect the emptiness
That fills me up inside

It hurts to feel so alone and uncertain
Consumed by doubt and fear
Eventually life becomes a burden
Damaged beyond all repair

The temptation to numb all sensation
It more powerful than one might believe
I'll sacrifice the pleasure, to relieve the devastation
As passion gives way to apathy

Say whatever you want
About those who dwell on the past
Go ahead and judge me from your moral soapbox
While you cower behind your mask

The opinions of most matter very little to me
It won't be taken to heart as you intend it to be
First you'd have to practice the words you preach
If you ever do then I promise I'll start listening


Details | I do not know? | |

Freedom from the Wall

Clouds unite
they end all fight
darkness prevails
the bride with no veil
to see with no eyes
why do we despise
as the world does turn
our minds they do churn
thinking too much
my mind loses clutch
and the wall does grow
so high i cannot throw
my words at your mind
they fall short then behind
frustration sets in
as the sun goes to fin
the darkness will win
not i as this is my sin
i will glance with no stare
find the pain that is there
and the wind will be fair
as it carries my prayer
one day you will feel
what i meant to steal
as the darkness will peel
my pain from this real
communicate i cant
i try but its faint
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i cannot regain
i want to show the day
that the sun will remain
as the clouds unite
they don't end all fight
it is i that must cite
it is i that must fight
for only i can prevail
only minds can grow stale
if not used you will trail
if not used you will fail
if not seen its your grail
if not noticed your in hell
i will try to tell all
i must try to not fall
only you will be seen
in my eyes of ever clean
that the tears will one day fall
down my cheek in all glory
as they will be of not pain
but rejoice as i gain
and rejoice we shall reign
to the water of no shame
as i finally can blame
no one else for my rain
and all the world will see
it was i that was freed
it was i with no creed
that was released to bleed


Details | Free verse | |

Make Me Hate Your Face

I focus on things
that make me hate your face.
Maybe then the pain will fade.

I know deep inside
I care about your life,
but right now I just want to forget.

You don't understand,
never will,
how you've pierced my heart.

I wish I could say
it will just go away,
but the blade cut too deep.

I feel the blood,
it trickles down my chest,
and it draws me to my knees.

I fall to the floor,
pray it will all finish now,
maybe this pain will finally be undone.


Details | Rhyme | |

She Always Wore a Smile

She always wore a smile
No matter where she went
You never heard the girl complain
You never heard her vent

She always seemed so happy
Helping those she could
Whenever asked to do a task
She'd always say she would

But deep inside her tender heart
She was completely broken
She hid the pain and heartache
No word of it was spoken

The guilt she felt each passing day
Was more than she could bare
She wanted someone she could tell
But, what if they didn't care

What if, what if, the questions came
What if they call me lame
What if they laugh or think I'm dumb
Or speak badly of my name

What if they don't believe it
What if they only see
How bad the situation seems
And look at that, not me

She knew she couldn't handle
Judgment from a friend
So she kept it all locked up inside
And cried alone instead

So be the kind of safe place
A hurting heart can come
Where they know their loved and cared for
And no longer need to run


Details | Rhyme | |

Nobody Knew

Nobody knows the pain she hides,
No one cares to look inside.
This little girl that’s only nine,
Has to fight to stay alive.

Her mom’s an alcoholic,
And her daddy does drugs.
She gets beaten and bruised,
Instead of kisses and hugs.

Nobody hears the little girl’s cries,
Nobody notices her wet swelled eyes.
When her mommy is drunk and her daddy is high,
So she doesn’t get beaten, she has to hide.

She’s sick of the pain,
That she suffers from every night.
She’s sick of getting punished,
For her mom and dad’s fights.

So, she went downstairs and grabbed a rope,
And hung it way up high.
She stood on a chair and put her head through the noose,
And jumped and hung there to die.

Her mom came home drunk that night,
Her daddy came home high.
To find her hanging by the rope,
To find out she had committed suicide.

Nobody knew the pain she hid,
Nobody cared to look inside.
The little girl that had wet swelled eyes,
Committed suicide and no longer has to fight to stay alive.


Details | Free verse | |

Is Death such a bad thing?

Is death such a bad thing?
Its the end of all the pain and suffering,
If you could see the end of all your tears,
Death is not so bad, But I cant think clear.
Is death such a bad thing?
It would stop all the pain of a broken heart,
It would be an end of all the bad things,
Of not knowing what to do, or where to start.
Is death such a bad thing?
I'm not quite sure,
I think I would just stop breathing,
For all my sadness to end death is a cure.  
Is death such a bad thing?
When it keeps your best friend,
When all they had left,
Was endless suffering.
Is death such a bad thing?
Where loneliness would be at bay,
Death is not so bad you see,
It took all the bad things away.


Details | Blank verse | |

The Rain

Rain, like angry teardrops, forges rivulets down the window pane
while threatening gray clouds thunder above, 
fat with their delivery

Flickering power dances with the lightning in a contest of shadows
as heavy pressure and dampness seep into the marrow 
of my fragile frame

Frantic winds change the relentless direction of the deluge as
miniature rivers form, washing away the residue of the atmosphere
before the storm

Darkness comes, and the bitter intensity becomes palpable
Weary windows shudder in their frames as whispering howls
sneak through timeworn crevices

Daunting years of collective conscience suggest a safe place to hide,
as all of the percipient creatures on the other side of the pane
have already attained

But, numbed by the continuous oblivious walk of humanity, I stay
Even though leaning against the moaning glass is not safe, I stay
…..to watch the rain.


Details | Verse | |

My Brother

Can you feel the pain of me knowing?
Can you see my pain is it showing?
With blood stained sky, Engraved with lies,
This horrible pain, Is it growing?
This unseen pain eats at my heart,
The day they killed you we were forced to part,
This pain inside so cold so deep,
How can I eat? How can I sleep?
All those horrible days, I swore they would pay,
When they said little brother , that you were dead,
That's when I lost my way,
All these tears of my broken heart,
All  these tears, they are all mine,
All that's left are my tears,
No smiles  left to shine.
They took you from me my brother,
Hiding behind their shields of gold,
Motionless you lay there my brother,
Never to grow old.
They swore to serve and protect you,
But those were all empty lies,
Now at the grave where I buried you,
That's where well say our final good byes.
I miss you so badly my brother,
Miss you that I do,
One day I will come join you,
Why did they do this to you?
I love you my dear brother David,
I cant see through all of this pain,
Ill have vengeance for you little brother,
Their souls is where your blood stained.


Details | Free verse | |

Painful Sorrow and Loneliness

I’m sitting on a park bench…in the rain
Crying, with no one to console me…
I lost my family…and I lost my friends
And what’s worst is that my love left me…
I never knew that loneliness could hurt so much
And I never thought that it could happen…to me
Well I guess I was wrong…

These tears of mine won’t stop falling down my face
With every tear that drops, it represents
The pain I caused everyone in my life…
I can’t turn back time, though I wish I could
And correct all of my mistakes and live happily!

Now I walk home alone…with nothing
On my mind, except for misery…
I sit in the corner…where it is dark
So that I can escape reality…
I never knew that sorrow would hurt me at all
Because I believed that I was too strong for that
But I guess that I was wrong…

The pain in my chest won’t go away
With every tear that drops, it represents
The loneliness that I experience everyday in my life…
I only pray that God above will
Help turn my miserable life around for me!

These tears of mine won’t stop falling down my face
The pain in my chest won’t go away
With every tear that drops, it represents
The pain I caused everyone in my life…
I can’t turn back time, though I wish I could
And correct all of my mistakes and live happily!
With every tear that drops, it represents
The loneliness that I experience everyday in my life…
I only pray that God above will
Help turn my miserable life around for me!


Details | Free verse | |

The Arms of a Stranger

The odor of warmth and affection,
The feeling of love and protection,
An isolated heaven of love;
I lay in his arms like an angel,
Like a white dove,

At the moment,
I am living an endless time
Of eternal happiness,
Life seems to be everlasting…
Life now, is a colored painting 
Of smiles and joy,

Words slithered between his lips,
Like tiny insects sliding on the petals
Of a bright-colored flower,
I contemplated his beauty as 
I heard his tender voice whisper,
“Thy beauty is like the azure sky.”

Perfection is what I am seeing,
His words kept on repeating
In my head;
In his arms I lived another life…
A nirvana created by his glaring eyes,

“Thy beauty is a mosaic picture on the walls of heaven,”
His words swayed like the dancing waves…
I lay there inertly,
With a river of feelings penetrating 
My soul like an addictive kiss of his,
I smiled…   

--------------------------------
My feelings suddenly shifted,
I felt tiny droplets of water condense
On my cheeks,
Were they tears?

My anguish was immense…
Sadness and grief formed
A body of confusion that mystified 
The fantasizing feelings I had felt,

Here I was,
In your arms;
My ally, the person I shared my life with…
You held me tightly trying to ease
The pain I was feeling,
The pain created by you…

The tears in my eyes created a reflection of
My sufferings,
The sufferings that tend to draw a continuous
Picture of your betraying eyes…
I cried and cried as I felt your arms
Hold me tighter,
I felt no comfort at all…

I closed my eyes trying to place myself
In “his” arms again,
The arms of the stranger 
That allayed my soul like tender music,
Like a harmony created by the soft,
Emerald leaves that danced with the wind…

I smiled again…






 
  


















Details | I do not know? | |

Take this pain away

Take this pain,
Take it all away.
Take my life, I don't care to see another day.
Take your apologies. Take them to someone who cares.
Take this pain,
Take it away.
Take this knife, take my life...
Take this blade,slide it across my wrist.
Take this pain away for this is my dying wish.
Take my body gently lay it down.As the blood flow starts,
take my memory and with it never part.
Take these words as i promise my revenge, my death will be avenged.
As though a mystery to the mind, loved one's will soon find that you are the 
reason for 
my early depart.
My killer was you........For you were the one who put the pain in my heart!!


Details | Lyric | |

Invisible Pain

Sometimes I cry
in the silence of night
from the pain deep inside 
which somehow I hide

Every day I pretend 
that I am just fine
I laugh and I smile
I bottle the fire

I want to explode
with so much emotion
instead I put on an act
while it implodes inside

There's too much to say
no way to explain
the feelings I have
they won't go away

Nobody knows
what's eating at me
I feel if I tell
no one will understand

This can't go on much longer
I have to release
the pain turns to anger
I need to scream

My brain just won't stop
I have the urge to run away
I want to forget my past
desperation fills my heart

All my thoughts are contradicting
letting go means forgetting
forgetting means being vulnerable 
being vulnerable means more pain

I don't want anyone to know
I'm so torn inside
I could so easily be broken
so I must not let anyone in

I always cry
in the silence of night
from the pain deep inside
which I no longer can hide


Details | I do not know? | |

My darkest days

In the dark days, everything goes away. But the Pain will stay. If only I could cure 
the worlds sickest. Take the pain and make me the weakest.  Out there 
somewhere MY dreams will be filled. Since I’ve changed, since I stopped taking 
those Pills. Everything revolved around me, but now I’m not so friendly. More pills 
to ease the pain, more pills to take me away into lightest days.
	The Lightest Days were we all roam and play, the sick and pain will 
go away. Better than ever. Nothing to Level, but still the bumpy road is in the past. 
My life was hard, my chances are far. But I’ve made it, last into the days of the 
past.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

You took me

When you took me, you were wrong. I was under age and God knows I was'nt strong. I 
was young and you forced me to pretend that my life with my family was nearly at an 
end. You beat me and tortured me day after dayand when you would leave , I would 
feel safe. I'd get on my knees and pray "please lord just spare me one more day".  
I don't eat, I dont sleep, you'd beat me till I was weak. I don't want to die, 
everyday  I'd cry "someone please release me from this pain I feel inside.  I've 
endured so much pain that my body is numb, I silently wait for someone to come.  I 
wish I had wings to fly up above, to sing that I'm home to finally feel loved.  the 
scars from your knife will haunt me the rest of my life.  You left me beaten and 
bloody,I waited for an angel to find me and my wish came true from out of the blue, 
God sent me an angel to show me the truth. I was empty and scared, hoping someone's 
out there who might even care.   was tired and cold.  Will this little lost girl 
soon leave this world?   Someone finally came to carry me home, by the grace of 
god, so that I can move on.   don't know if  I'll get over this, and I'll never 
understand why, how another human being could take an innocent child. You took my 
strength and destroyed my pride, just to satisfy that sickness that manifests in 
your mind.  I can't go back and change what you've done, but I have finally forgave 
you so I can move on. Even though it may take some time  and a lot of searching 
inside,I hope you find peace while your doing your time.  I'll always wonder for 
the rest of my life, why you took me that day for that life  altering ride.


Details | I do not know? | |

~Unforgiving Soul~

Life can be beautiful and long. Or life could be short and depressing. Some people 
act happy when they are sad. Their anger will grow and only get mad.  Fear to live 
can be so strong. Some people will cut life short before they're time. They feel 
the only way out is suicide. For death is a gift that God gave us. But love is a 
choice that some don't follow. The hatred rejection breathes can turn you hallow. 
Your eyes tell the truth of an unforgiving soul. The darkness you seek is out of 
control. One day at a time it consumes you. Then at last your finally threw. You 
are bitter and heartless, angered, and cold. Sooner or later your evil will unfold. 
You have gone into hiding and left the light. Any chance you get you try to fight. 
The pain you buried so many years ago. The scars and fears of an unforgiving soul. 
Your day will come and you will forgive. The child you saved was abandoned and 
hide. Your life is peaceful and calm. Your little baby will grow up happy and 
strong. You saved a life and got yours back. You had so much pain and rage filled 
attacks. You can sleep without the dreams of a viscous man. Everything is Better 
now you can finally think. You stop and wonder why he took that last drink? Why he 
abused your young body? Where he was when he hid? Why he did the things he did? 


Details | I do not know? | |

Broken

Piercing glares, ripping me apart.
I plead out for help, but the pain keeps tearing.
My eyes hide the pain, but it can't cover my broken heart.
 
Silent screams, haunting my soul.
The pain is killing me softly,
But it is far too slow.
 
Blood rushing down my wrists.
My fear erasing, my pain is all but gone.
I ask you for help, but I took this risk.
I am all by myself, I am alone.
 
My dreams shaded by your memory.
The scars just won't go away! I need you now!
Have you finally figured out how much you mean to me?
 
But it's far too late, my blood fading, along with my sorrow.
You beg for me to live now....why? I have to ask.
But even so, my soul is shattered, there is no tomorrow.
 
I don't want to remember my life without you,
but it's inevitable, I can't remember the good times.
I can only feel my pain,
My life has been over, since the first day that I met you....


Details | I do not know? | |

Undefeated Fighter

Just when I thought my heart was mending,
I realized that it wont mend the pain is never ending.
I got my heart and soul warm with love again and slowly its all getting took back ,
back into that cold world of heartache.
The world where you cant do anything but cry yourself  to sleep at night ,
and when you love someone with all your heart it seems like there is nothing 
more to life.
This love thing is a cruel and deceiving fight.
A fight you possibly cant win because by the time you get to the end your heart is 
so torn you have to try to put the peices back together.
Its so weak and so tired of the pain but you take the little bit of strenght you have 
left and get up and ready to fight, for it to get ripped out and torn up all over again.
This is simply a fight I just cant win and I no longer have the strenght to proceed.
So I forfeit, I quit, I throw in the towel and as many times as i've battle this battle 
and fought this fight i deserve the right to walk away!
I cannot defeat this undefeated fighter for it has got the best of me!


Details | Lyric | |

The Gift

I never had the chance to look into your eyes,
I guess you felt so much pain that you tried to hide,
All this love I was to give, it hurt my heart you lived,
For just a little while, The Gift, my only child,
Wish I could take back every thought that was against you,
Felt like it was my fault, I was stressin, I had issues,
The tissue, keep it comin, My tears they steady runnin,
This aint no normal something, through loss Im steady hummin.
mmmh, mmmh, mmmh,
mmmh, mmmh, mmmh,
I only see you when I look at photographs,
You came with much pain so we never had some laughs,
I was trying to get ready for you, so I could be a better woman,
But instead my heart grew heavy because, my gift, took his lil' lovin,
I know you are not alone, so many have gone on,
But mommas strong, and daddies gone...
To you this is my song....


Details | Free verse | |

The Real You

Thru darkness unknown to you
you speak the truth
but no one hears
You're all alone in a world of dreams 
but you can't wake up
No one knows you're gone
The pain you hold is a secret from all
Nightmares played all over again
But no one knows the pain your're in
"I know how you feel," they tell you
But you know they'd never understand
the true meaning of alone
You reach out for someone to talk to 
but no one is around
Silence fills air
Trust is something they take for granted
Whispers fill the universe
No one ever keeps their word
They don't really mean what they say
They keep their sheilds of lies
No one knows what true pain is
Everyone regrets their past mistakes
But only the future matters
Nothing you do will ever change that
So why stay so involved
The future is your life ahead


Details | I do not know? | |

Wings of Lead

on wings of lead some shall fly
not to soar but to fall
weighed down by the burdens of life
they tumble out of control
unable to stop or slow down
the pain of life to much to bear
some don’t even care
they are lost and will not be found
their lives seem meaningless
doomed to an eternal wandering
there are those that soar
and those that fall
save yourself I’ll tell you 
while you still can 
for I am falling to
wishing I had done something so long ago
but now I’m falling and I cannot stop
nothing can stop me 
but hitting the bottom 
only death could stop me now
for I am falling and there is nothing to stop me
my life unlived and cut so tragically short
tragic to you maybe 
but freedom to me
no longer weighed down by the wings of lead
I am free of my pain 
pain so severe it made life unlivable
unable to soar with the rest
I fall as do so many
unable to keep up from the weight 
shackled to my misery and depression 
I pray for it to end quick
that I may be set free
free of what haunts me so gravely
the fear of life itself


Details | I do not know? | |

Forbidden

The one standing here
is the shell of who was once there
but that is what is to happen
when what's in your heart is forbidden

Somethings can't be explained
feelings can't be restrained
tears can no longer be held in
someone who has lost everything within

things never meant to be understood
lost everything for which you stood
no one can tell
that you're living in hell

the pain is hidden
to show weakness is forbidden
the feelings inside
are things you can no longer hide

the tears are coming out
even if no one cares what about
in looking for peace
the pain will never cease

The one standing here
is the shell of who was once there
but that is what is to happen
when what's in your heart is forbidden


Details | I do not know? | |

The place you put me in

As I sit here in the middle of our bed
I stair at my med bottles
Tears streaming down my face
My heart laying at my feet
Shattered and broken into a zillion pieces
My thoughts so confusing
My emotions ragging out of control 
And so overwhelming
My vision so unclear
Hurt and pain engulf my body
This hell I am in here and now 
Is all because of you
Everything you taught me now destroyed 
Trust broken
Heart shattered 
World destroyed
This hell is becoming almost to much for me to bare
I am trying to be fair to everyone
I am trying to be strong
But without you I don’t know if I can survive 
You say I did nothing wrong 
How can the be
When your love for me is gone
I don’t know what to do or say
For you to change your heart and mind and stay
No matter what I do or say 
I am the one who hurts and looses
This pain keeps hurting more and more each day
My love for you will always remain
There are only two ways I see to end this awful hurt and pain
One for you to come back to me and love me again
Two to end this hurt, pain and suffering for good
To take all my meds and walk away to die on my own
The first unfair to you
The last unfair to our children
I pray that the good Lord watches over me
And shows me another path
For I am afraid that I will end this pain for me 
Only to cause a lifetime of hurt and pain for our children


Details | Rhyme | |

Never Taken Away

They've taken my knives,
they've taken my pills,
so I look at you
and my pain refills;
they can take the razors
they can take the beer
but as long as you live
I'll have monster and pain adhere.
Let them take what they want
but they can't keep me alive
because, while you hold her
all the damage I do to myself, thrives.
They can take away the glass,
the mirrors from the walls,
but while you are in my memory
I will walk haunted halls.
Let them take what they will,
for no one here can see,
as long as he lives
I'll have something to hurt me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Naming Bandages

My lies have taken everything I loved
My mind is fuelled by the pain I trust
My fingers turn everything into dust
My heart avenges loss through use of lust

Anger will tell me that the world’s to blame
Fear will forget it took my mind away
Desire will tell me that it’s pointless
But the liar will realise it’s another day

My eyes see everything in red and white
My friends all look like my favourite night
My words are tuning all within my sight
What’s left now is everything I try to fight

Despair comes and tells me it’s a tragedy
Denial turns away the sight of me
But pain stares and know that it’s all pointless
This is just the way it has to be


Details | Acrostic | |

Who Are You

 How dare you take advantage of me like that ,
Leaving me stranded with no way to go forward or back.
   Using the friendship that we had led me to believe,
That there was trust and honor between you and me .
   How you layed me aside and left me for dead ,
You have caused these hateful thoughts inside my head.
   Never could I have done this to any man , 
I can see you have no concious so I know you can.
  There just one thing I really want to say  about this ,
It's been a long time since I have made a clinched fist .
  You have no idea how much hurt you have caused,
It won't be me you'll have to face That's up to God
   But you will regret mistaking this kindness for weakness girl,
Bad Karma will surely consume you this is my word.
   Yes you were able to catch me completely off gaurd ,
Never again because now I know who you are .
TAC


Details | Salaam | |

Yeh khaalipan


Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega

Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega

Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega


Details | Italian Sonnet | |

Dream Forever

Thee, are my deepest emotions; taken beyond; my control.
Thou do express love; sweeter; than view of sunshine.
One single touch, from you, feels so fine.
No thoughts of your face would ever console.
Desires; that when I see you, I fight to control,
My heart; is blinded by numbers more than nine.
My soul is bound to you with more than twine.
Thee taketh my senses, beyond, compression of coal.

My blustery habits; are taken; when I see thee, with him.
Coal contracts to brilliant diamonds from pressure, we are told.
My heart aches for thou, under the pressure of seeing his kiss.
No brilliancy of any treasure shines; only a full moon goes dim.
My desires are real; though they have no growth; in gold.
Thee, shall be my dream forever, though I shall have no bliss.


Details | Epic | |

We Lost More Than a Dad

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend

We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half 
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation 
We lost the glue that held us together

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew 
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

SO blind

   All this time I have always had my doubts,
Not the person led to believe is what I found out.
   To be deceived and lied to for oh so long,
Down deep I knew there was something wrong.
   Head over heels I had fallen in love ,
Always thought you were sent from above.
   How the knife is twisted into my side ,
So much pain I can do nothing but cry.
   These memories of what I thought was real,
I'm confused and I don't how how to feel.
    Is this really possible that I did not know,
Through all this time it never showed.
    Such an evil thing to do to a man ,
Especially the lies which he could not stand.
    How cruel and cold your heart must be ,
To carry on as you did never letting me see.
     Hard to accept all those moments  so dear ,
Realizing they are now my greatest fears .
     What was to be Joy and Happiness,
Replaced by the feelings of a loneliness.
   Never did I imagine this happening to me ,
Thinking that you and I were meant to be .
   It's a very hard thing for a man to accept ,
When he finds out that he's been tricked.
    Was it the money or the control you had ,
Maybe because you are really just that bad.
    Some day soon for this you will have to pay ,
For the sins against me and your evil ways.
    Goodbye to you  who ever you are ,
For in this heart you have left brutally scarred.
Tac.


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 1)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank 
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished 


Me, Myself, and I...


“There are things that concern us,”
		Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”

“And after careful deliberation
		It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”


“Fact is your intuition
		Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”

“So you leave us no recourse
		Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired


I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”

“And with much technique and time
		And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”


“So to keep yourself from having a fit
		Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”

“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
		Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul


You know, fact is I do feel off axis
		As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen

And with my mind feeling numb
		I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin


And then came questions in a flurry
		Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give

They pushed and they prodded
		With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve


And all this psycho-analysis
		Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please

“Yes, oh yes indeed
		I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Blank verse | |

It feels good to scream

It feels good to scream.
Too shout to the top of your lungs,
with all your might,
with all your pain,
with all your air,
that fills your black lungs
damaged by years of cigarette smoke,
to feel your dieaphram expand
to feel your chest expand,
to feel your heart skip a couple beats,
thump. thump. thump.
Put you face to the pillow
breath in. Let it all come out.

Let

it

all

come

out!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Feel the lunatic release from your head
free the demons from your soul.

Let

it

all

out!!!

Scream like there is no tomorrow,
feel the pain go away.
It feels good to scream,
to get it all out.
Then light a cigarette,
breath in
drink whiskey,
red wine,
sit at a hunched over position,
at a typewriter
and scream with words on paper
and go down and get your screams published.
Then everyone can read, and hear your screams
and not just your neighbors.

Let

it

all

out!!

It feels good! Trust me. It feels good.

It feels good to let it all out,
let it out,
don't deny yourself freedom
let it all go,
free yourself,
free your tourmented soul,
fill your cancer filled, black lungs
expand your chest,
crack your sternum
and feel the pain go.
Let it all go.

Let

it

all

out!!

It feels good to scream!


Details | Rhyme | |

Let Him Go

This poem I wrote. I call it " Let Him Go "

Sweetheart don't cry
Don't let him make you feel like your nothing
You do have family even though we are not close by
I know your heart is crushing
Don't harp on the past
Don't let him play with your head
You need to get over him fast
His feelings for you are dead
Over 2 years and you still don't have a ring
Your not the one he calls his wifey to be no more
Take a seat and listen up girl here is the thing
He's playing with your feelings and using you like a two dollar whore
I know you were smart once and can be again
He has you so brain washed it's not funny
I know hearing all this is a strain
Think of the example your setting for you little ones honey
Hold your head high and walk away from that loser mama's boy 
Show him that your the one that is too good for his sorry ass
Hell he's such a mama's boy you can find better pleasure in a toy
Your related to me so come on show your sass 
Let go of the past and look to a new future
Let go of the pain and the control freak
Say bye bye Looser
It will get easier one step at a time week by week......


Details | Acrostic | |

C H A O S

Could I not see such ugly drawn out choices.

Hollow I feel such nothing for people it is fear that feeds me.

Alone in this forsaken world with nothing to accept.

Order is such pain that it is nothing but chains.

Souls that bare nothing but lost cause to confusion is such utter mistakes.


Details | Qasida | |

I Miss You

When the moonlight in its fullest,
Is spreading over the night,
Your memory at this point,
Pains my heart dearly,
I miss you…
The stories of spring,
Of these past beautiful views,
Return back to me,
And fills my eyes with tears,
I miss you…
At least tell me this much,
That this moonlight comes to you,
And wakes up dreams in you,
And teases you too,
I miss you…
When the moonlight in its fullest,
Is spreading over the night,
Your memory at this point,
Pains my heart dearly,
I miss you…
The stories of spring,
Of these past beautiful views,
Return back to me,
And fills my eyes with tears,
I miss you…
When the moments of those days, 
Come by and touch you,
The memories of past days,
Take my sleep away,
I miss you…
When the moonlight in its fullest,
Is spreading over the night,
Your memory at this point,
Pains my heart dearly,
I miss you…
When my memory,
Brings tears to your eyes every moment,
When every breath of parting,
Becomes difficult to breathe,
Then forget everything around you,
And return to me,
Break every relation
And come decorate my dreams,
Don’t leave me after that,
When the moonlight in its fullest,
Is spreading over the night,
Your memory at this point,
Pains my heart dearly,
I miss you…
The stories of spring,
Of these past beautiful views,
Return back to me,
And fill my eyes with tears,
I miss you…
My heart aches for you…


Details | Free verse | |

Devil's Hidden Ranch

DEVIL'S HIDDEN RANCH

Coyote howl, dogs growl
Gunshots, dead cow
Red barn left unlock
Horse shoe upon death's door
Tequila in a cup
Salt of cocaine, shadows of insanity
Guitar string, sad song
Bandit near the door, wife on the floor
Hallucinating---Reality
Yelling out her name, he's gone insane
Loaded gun, life is done
Far and near ending his intoxicating fear
The road under the sun
A coward in his path
Responding to the Devil's wrath

In a Hidden Ranch in Mexico!!!!!!
       
:)   SKAT


Details | Senryu | |

Playground

Kids go down
The slide…they head toward the swings
TIME TO SCREAM!

Free time ends
Their parents want to go home
Frowns exchange 


Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't take his place
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 2)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 1 first so as to get the true gist of the poem and leave your comments here on the 
Part 2 submission. Thank you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain 
diminished.


Me, Myself, and I... (continued)


“Your, (Or “Our”), symptoms seem to intermit
		And the fact that “You’re,” (“We’re”), a hypocrite
Tis no wonder we’re having such problems with diagnosis”

Then “I” had an idea so grand
		To dispense with this at my own hand
A self-inflicted coup de grace would be my prognosis


So while the “Me” and the “Myself” squabbled
		With courage newly cobbled
“I” spotted the dresser drawer and made my run

With fingers fiercely fumbling
		Whilst they continued grumbling
“I” produced from the depths of the drawer a shiny gun


And now my life, though ill-fated
		Was soon to be vindicated
This would affect us all equally the same

Would be no myself or me
		No you, him, us, or we
But an inclusive all would be to blame


It took me a moment to figure
		Out the safety on the trigger
Then “I,” (or “Us”), prepared to do the dirty deed

Then the barrel found my temple
		And as it settled into the dimple
A still small voice did my “selves” choose to heed


Hence a moment of clarity 
		Harkened me to posterity
And I thought what a legacy to leave behind

“Can’t we all find a way
		To save this miserable day
And avoid a broken body for someone to find”


And then deep within my soul
		I felt and heard a simple drum roll
And the differing sides of me just subsided

And with my mind now as one
		I worked to get this all undone
The whole business of this stuff I derided


And tis now true of fact
		That I survived this ordeal intact
And lived to raise my face unto the sky
 
And here now as it ends
		I find I’ve made good friends
With the “Me”, the “Myself,” and the “I”


Thank you for taking the time to share in my poetry. Please feel free to leave your thoughts 
or comments here on this page. 

J. Scott Burns...


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shunned

Breaking down in the heart and mind.
With all regrets that are truly not kind.
Shocked at people are, so painful to see.
Abused with hated and ecstasy.
Violated and directed with torments
Lost of words or comments.
Hatred gushing out of life long experience.
Reminding yourself to become absence.
Coward and scared to even breathe.
Like the feeling of knives unsheathe.
Sharp but not enough to cut.
Enough to scare like a door that immediately shut.
The hand raised to help you is a lie.
It is a hand that slaps you so you can die.
Rough around the edges.
Crawling in your dreams in ledges.
Powered to stay alive.
You feel people want you to take a dive.
Just stop, and fall down.
Hoping to break your mental crown.
Hiding a feeling that never feels real.
Like shaking hands with demons for a deal.
Blocked out, out of your own story.
Thinking that people are stealing your glory.
Ashamed with fear.
With eyes that are full of tear.
Lost in such hidden romance.
Luck has it seems to be a dance.
Moving around in your head.
With scary thoughts and dread.
Feels like you never leave.
So you feel so many that grieve.
In your mind that is lost.
Full of drama that holds you down in cost.
Keeping in the shadow.
You watch people so shallow.
Gut instinct says that life with them is a muse.
When your just standing your accuse.
Society is just so lame.
Like all the people that are in it your to blame.
Soloing life is a brief.
Walking away is some what a relief.
I dreamed of many things.
With beautiful sorrows of wings.
Wavered in a direction that leads no where.
Escaping everything by a hair.
Pointing into the sky.
And asking yourself why.
The cage is so big.
Just enough to put on a huge rig.
Moving back and fourth.
It feels that your life does not have a worth.
Caned by laws of laughter to deceive.
Shackled up to be bent to your will to receive.
When you hope to hope.
A person can just show you the rope.
They have such friendly hands.
Like the deserts of sands.
Dangerous it is to just keep walking in it.
Lost cannot find your way even a little bit.
Just seem like your heart feels dry.
Then you give up and give a sigh.
That moment that you do is just all a dream.
You are really in a ward you will scream.
Thrust upon you because you could not protect.
So what cost you is this effect.
Warping in to your mind to leave this place.
You feel full of disgrace.
With nothing to drink.
Causing your true self to think.
Grief is such a pain with sorrow to gain.
Looking out in your own rain.




Details | Sonnet | |

A BLESSED CHILD

When you miss a child,
Of your very own,
That is your flesh and blood,
You begin to wonder,
Where did you go wrong,
In your own life,
Instead of looking,
At the beautiful life,
You created,
This you must remember,
So many of the difficult times,
Cause of the times you did share together,
For your children will remember more,
Than you really want to give them credit for,
And they will always remember you,
As their loving parent,
For loving them so much,
More than you will ever know,
And you will never forget them,
Just as you hope,
You will never be forgotten,
From their lives,
Forever more,
As well.


Details | Elegy | |

Raindrops and Teardrops


Details | Ballad | |

London

She called herself London
On that day 
She fell from the sky
Child of apple blossoms
Dancing wildly
Into your mind

The snake that hung from her neck
Bites your hand
Expels you from Eden
Tears into the cool flesh
Of your madness
Posing as reason

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share

Her name was London
Call her London

She called herself London
On that night
She prayed to the moon
Apollo’s lyre
Played darkly
In a portent 
Of your own doom

The hell she hides 
In her soul
Toxic drug you’ll never escape
You crave the milk of her touch
Her strange and dangerous ways

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share  

Her name was London
Call her London

My baby, London
Call her London
My moon-girl, London 
Call her London

I love her, London
Call her London
Forever, London 

I call her London……


Details | Personification | |

This Day

This is a day that I could have really done without,
Saying you love me and do this to me hurts no doubt.
   Day  after day I pray that you will please stop,
What pain you've caused me has taken all I've got .
   I love you and adore you but it seems not to matter,
Still you continue to hurt me leaving my heart shattered.
   You come to me with words I have only  dreamed ,
But what they were meant for was to hurt me it seems .
    Never  have I seen a woman with so much hate ,
Taking revenge on me by disrespecting me till it hurts.
    True I have  waivered with my troubles with trust,
The one thing thats important and this is a must.
     There are no more words or sayings that will ever work,
I have tried everything  I know giving it all that its worth .     
     To the day I die I will never understand why ,
The woman I love does everything to make me cry .
     So this my dream to be forever with you ,
Is only nightmares for me  and dying is all I can do.
     This a day I surely could do without.
TAC


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Dramatic monologue | |

All Day Long

All. Day. Long.

I sit there, in my chair, All. Day. Long. 
Glaring at people I hate. 
The people who are but mere memories.
Mere dust in the wind.

All that I know has blown away, 
taken by my faulty actions.
The dull replay of Meteora fills my room with lyrical insanity, 
tempting me with beat and anger. 
But I’ve realised it’s not the music that’s dull.
It’s myself. I am dull. 
 Dull, empty, detached, dead. 
My actions have caused this, my mental instability.

My arms and wrists, they’re crisscrossed with faint pink patterns,
the product of my attempts at reattachment and relief.
Eternal smiles of violet beneath my eyes, wrinkles surround my lips. 
My skin, yellow from the drugs, reflects weakly the sunlight from outside.
I blame everyone but myself, my personality rotten to the core.
My lungs, as well, shredded by smoke that acted like needles.

I couldn’t help myself, I jest in my mind. 
I’ve been trying to shove the blame onto something but myself, 
only to find there is nothing to blame but myself.

My body has been wracked to this state, 
a state well beyond my mere 29 years. 
My mind, hanging from a cliff. 
Threatening to free fall at any moment. 

As I sit there, in my chair, 
memories of an age long gone from my life flash before my eyes.
 A girl I loved, laughing.
 Her and I lying in the grass, at a lake’s edge.
A cat akin to night, eyes green as mine, purring softly in my lap.
Flashes of guns, from a war forgotten by all but me. 

As I reminisce these memories, a spark of feeling—pain.
Upwelling in my gut.
 Through my chest.
 Stabbing into the side of my head.
The pain triggers a new wave of recollection. 

Again, the girl. My mind so foggy I can’t remember her name. 
Dancing slowly to a song no longer heard of. 
Snow. A blush of the cheeks. Hands in mine, warming and comfortable.
The pain in my head intensifies, blinding me. 
I fall from my chair, the first time I’ve moved all day. In 2 days.

Shaking my head, I pull myself up. Standing, I look around. 
Another flash of pain, followed by a sensation I’d all but forgotten.
Her lips. At dusk. The very first time.
I stumble away from an unseen being, crashing into the wall. 
Blinking my eyes furiously, I right myself. 
Waiting a moment, I sit back down. 
And let the dullness take over, the pain ebb away, 
and the memories to replay.
All. Day. Long.


Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

 
My lips laugh/smile even in pain,
Whenever I remember those memories,
Those past moments,
Even for a moment itself,
I had got life with smile,
My days were in your lap/embrace,
I had spent my nights in your arms,
Today when I remember those moment,
Those moments force me to forgot all my sorrows,
My lips laugh/smile even in pain,
Whenever I remember those memories,
Those past moments,
You were putting your head on my shoulders,
You were hiding yourself by my chest,
By coming into my shelter,
Breaking/losing yourself in me like a glass,
Today when I see those scenes,
It vanishes the loneliness of my heart,
My lips laugh/smile even in pain,
Whenever I remember those memories,
Those past moments….


Details | Free verse | |

what a sacrifice is called

In times of stress
In times of tension
In times of rough
I use it to fight down my enemies
I use it to defend my love
With my power, with my strength
In times of betrayal, in times of lies
In pages of cruelty
Are tests from God Almighty?
Will I pass or have I failed?
It is all written and I shall not be replied
But in mercy or in pain 
I’ll use it
I’ll use it to fight down my enemies
With my faith, covering my heart
With its power, I’ll guide them
I’ll protect them through
With it’s charm, with its beauty
No matter what It would take?
I would devote my soul to you 
I would cause a life energy transfer 
For you…. Just for you 
I’ll do the tasks that are impossible to make
I’ll live the life that would pain and hurt
For you …
For you’re breath taking eyes
For you’re injury healing heart
For you’re life sacrificing mode
It is you that I chose to give all things
It is you that will open your eyes again 
It is you that will run and enjoy your life
It is you that will bring flowers to my grave
It is me that will close her eyes
It is me that will blackout her senses
It is me that will be waiting for you 
In another place not in this earth
Be sure to be there….





Details | Verse | |

EARTHQUAKES


                         An earthquake with enormous dimensions
                          Pain that destroy your joy and your smile
                         An internal earthquake that no one can see
                    Thoughts that destroy and that you are alone with
                            Pain that provides tears on your cheek
                      An internal earthquakes a cry that no one hears
                    The pleasure of life die in pain and heavy thoughts
                          An internal earthquake that no one can see
                             A rose that withers and eventually dies








16.02.2013
A-L  Andresen :)


Details | Free verse | |

A Sisters Tears

Broken hearts
Black as tar
A sister’s love burned away
Forever replaced with irreversible hate

Reach for light before the night forever takes
Your soul away
Fight the night, seek the light
Sisters’ love
Can be an unbreakable bond

A soul slowly baptized
In Lucifer’s detestation 
Chipped away until only the shell remains

Once sisters bathing in the rays of life
Separated, in pain, for losing the way
One sister reaching for the other
The other sister stretching her hand down

Down into the very depths of hell
Were Lucifer holds her very soul
And basks in the very pain
He so easily created

Lucifer prince of pain
King of darkness
Walks among the broken hearts
Seeping in his blackened tar
Until the shell is all you see
And the soul is but a memory


Details | Free verse | |

The Autumn Affect

There's something unspecific about the autumn nights
A certain shade of color that uplifts my inner child's eyes
Beside a cashmere moon Venus and Jupiter shine bright
Complimented by a sea of blinking infinite twilight
The scent of burning oak lingers in the air from home made fires
Reminiscent of a time when this man was just a child
Careless and so free to dream and any dream to live
Like feathers floating across a field carried by the wind
As a gentle breeze blows through the leaves shivering delightful gloom
Unlike flowers of springtime the disheveled autumn vibrance bloom
Leaves crackle beneath my feet along the skeleton tree path
Where I try to find my peace or a song to make me laugh
The air is so much crisper and also soothing when I breathe it in
Underneath a starry sky and brighter constellations of Heaven
Amidst the trail I pass a lovely couple holding hands
While their children run aside frolicking in a playful dance
An old man and his wife admire the view from a wooden bench 
With smiles on their face as if nostalgia is still their closest friend
Its these specific autumn affects that bring me sorrows and joy
Reminding me of all theses things Ive wanted as a man since I was a little boy 
Its times like these that I wish I wasn't always so alone
Because I would light an fire with my family and call it home


Details | Free verse | |

The Bleeding Roses

Roses in the garden,

Roses in the world,

Barrened roses,

Roses impearled,

But now roses curled...

 

Peach roses show modesty,

Peach roses show gratitude,

However, they are often insincere...

 

Yellow roses seem to care,

Yellow roses show friendship,

However, they are often joyless and jealous...

 

Pink roses communicate sweetness,

Pink roses radiate elegance,

However, they are often unthankful...

 

Orange roses have desire,

Orange roses show their pride,

However, they are often impassive...

 

Purple roses are majestic,

Purple roses express love at first sight,

However, they are often repulsed and unenchanted...

 

Green roses are harmonious,

Green roses carry hope,

However, they are often unpeaceful...

 

Blue roses like dreaming,

Blue roses are imaginative,

Blue roses desire to know the unknown,

Blue roses are mysterious,

However, they are often elusive and unattainable...

 

Red roses are emotional,

Red roses are devotional,

Red roses are respectful,

However, they are often remorseful, sorrowful and mistaken...

 

Gold roses are occassional,

Gold roses like memories,

Gold roses are preserved,

However, they are often misinterpreted and confused...

 

White roses are pure,

White roses have innocence,

White roses are spiritual,

White roses carry secrecy,

However, they are often arrogant...

 

Silver roses are rare,

Silver roses like to grow,

Silver roses convert fantasy into reality,

However, they are often lost and uneasy,

But they seem unpredictable and mystical...

 

Black roses are mysterious,

Black roses are rebirth,

However, they often remain elusive,

They often symbolize death and loss,

But they are unpredictable and silent,

Though, they are often harmed...

 

Roses in  the garden,

Roses in the world,

Barrened roses,

But now roses swirled and twirled...

 

Although, now peach roses are lying,

Yellow roses turning jealous and browned,

Pink roses being unsweet and unthankful,

Orange roses being impulsive and compulsive,

Purple roses being repulsed and revulsed,

Green roses losing hope and harmony,

Blue roses being undiscovered and lost,

Red roses being regretful and voided,

Gold roses bewildered and confused,

White roses losing purity and innocence,

Silver roses turning black and unused,

And black roses silenced and unborn...

 

All there is to see are roses vanishing,

Roses burning,

Roses trembling,

Roses surviving,

Roses aching,

Roses battling,

Roses crying,

Roses suffering,

Roses drowning,

Roses drying,

Roses fading,

Roses trying,

Roses wiltering...

 

All there is to feel are roses withering,

In a bed of bleeding roses...


Details | Verse | |

Home of the Slaves

Land of the free
Home of the slaves
The blood, sweat and tears of my ancestors resonate
Amongst the soil where they were slain
I’m hearing their struggle
I’m feeling their pain
I can’t imagine being forced to part from my family
All for massa’s gain
So I pay homage to those who promoted change

People like every slave who tried to escape
Nat Turner, Ms Carlotta, Harriet Tubman
And the safe houses who were in accord
And peg leg Joe with his song
Follow the drinking gourd.

People like, the disregarded - those thrown overboard
And who was dismissed and defamed
The ones who were stripped of their soul, their pride, their names

The list could go on  
The full will never be told
So I pay homage to others who were bold
Like John Brown, The Freedom Riders, Sojourner Truth
Ida B Wells, Phyllis Wheatley, Maya Angelou, 
Langston Hughes and Charles Drew

George Washington Carver, Ruby Bridges
Booker T Washington and Mary McCleod Bethune
Charles Houston, Ralph Bunche, Fredrick Douglass
WEB Dubois, Paul Robeson, Ralph Abernathy
Benjamin Banneker, Marcus Garvey and Crispus Attucks
Who’s death by the way
Symbolized the American lie
You cant declare the rights of all men
While the people of African decent rights get denied
But still we rise

Thanks to Dr Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, 
The Black Panthers, the Buffalo Soldiers and Tuskegee Airmen
None who were showed any love
Yeah it’s an uphill battle, 
But obviously greatness can be done.

We can rise above this stigma 
That blacks are lazy and daunting
That our worth is null and void 
And in essence minus nothing
And of all the names mentioned 
And the greatness of their successes
No one has been able to erase the evil transgressions of a racist mind
And once you have experienced just a taste of it
It changes your perception of time
The oppression beats like the drum on the chariot
Of when it was finally time to escape to freedom
It's mine


Details | Acrostic | |

Your Eyes

 (Dedicated to Folake)

Your eyes, woman
are like twilight rainbow
amorously bearing aloft passions of mine
toward androcytic ecstacy.
They tell of endless lights.

Night skies clarion the warmth of you
keep me balled-up till
i am tilted to your adorned essence.

May I call up words to adore you,
agglomerate them into a panoply of worshippers
unsandalled before you
like Moses at the burning bush.
 
And now you seem to fall asleep
but you tell me it's the heavy night
bidding toward a sunny dawn
wherein our love is lighted.

Slowly I let you fall asleep
impatient with the long night
waiting to gaze once more
into the eyes of my lovely love.

Then a lip is placed on yours
and you rouse up wide-eyed
smiling at my romantic move.
We enjoyed the night, cruising on.


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear little sister from another mister

You’ve been thrown left and right,
Crying to yourself every night,
Thinking all has gone wrong,
& you won’t be giving up after long..
You’ve been heartbroken 
One
Two many times:
From old boyfriends,
To lies;
Father walked out,
Baby killed by mistake;
Your mom has disowned you,
But she still shows you lust…
Everybody knows the truth,
The pain that you do not choose;
They see what you show,
But see me…
I, T’Keyah Wilder,
I already know…
You’ve raped and thrown from left to right;
Crying to yourself every night;
Everybody saying they understand,
But you know you’re the only
One who knows your pain ;
On this land…
It’s a matter of time, 
Before you kill yourself,
Stressing yourself,
Hurting you and everyone else;
Blaming yourself for,
Mistakes not purposely made;
Crying every time you feel like you just got 
Laid,
You want the true love,
Love shown from the heart;
Honestly,
Coming from your big sister; 
I think you need a fresh start,
Easing your pain with nicotine;
I’m surprised you’re not 
Sippin lean…
I know it may be hard,
To forget about the past,
But there’s one thing;
I must ask from you and I 
Want this to last;
Promise me, you’ll try your best
To stress less,
& pray more…
Listen to God;
Put him above…
All;
We’re not close like we used to be,
But you know I’m just a phone call,
Away…
Not far from you..
But I wish you’d  realize,
This too…
Stressing is not working,
Cause death, the devil, lies,
& fear are lurking..
Promise me;
You’ll try to be the best you can be…
Dear Little Sister from another Mister!
<3 RiP auntie bby ; djF .


Details | Free verse | |

The Humans and I

Ones who wage,
Ones who rage,
Ones who take,
Ones who pay,
Ones who craze,
Ones who rave,
Ones who crave…

Ones who fear,
Ones who breathe,
Ones who give,
Ones who need,
Ones who will,
Ones who weave…

Ones who plead,
Ones who beg,
Ones who beseech,
Ones who entreat,
Ones who appeal,
Ones who volunteer,
Ones who disappear…

The ones who follow,
The ones that don’t know about tomorrow,
The ones who don’t deserve the morrow…

The ones who sleep,
The ones who cry,
The ones who live,
The ones who die…

The ones who proclaim,
Those who say they create,
The ones who ache,
The ones who don’t wait,
The ones who hesitate,
The ones who don’t concentrate,
The ones who fornicate,
The ones who procrastinate…

Those who fall in temptation,
Those who get in frustration,
Those who sometimes feel desperation,
Those who keep going without caution,
Those in motion,
Those in tension,
Those losing notion,
Those being poisoned,
Those getting in distortion,
Those following the broken diction,
Those dying like the billions,
Those without unction,
Those washed in the oceans…

I might seem cold,
But it is you who is bold.
I might not express,
But it is you who doesn’t let me progress.
I might not seem like I seek,
But it is you who doesn’t know me…
I might seem like I need,
But it is you who might always be begging on your knees.
I might seem dull,
But it is the one that is fool.
I might not be alight,
But it is you who isn’t truly alive…

I will remain neutral,
I will remain silver,
I will remain gray,
I feel darkness,
I feel light,
I will remain hallowed…,
After all, it is you who deserves no life…

I am a metal hawk,
I am a mountain goat,
I am a silver bird,
I am a gray wolf,
I am a white tiger,
I am a mystic rose…,
I am I…

I’m alive,
And I survive,
You are here,
However, it is you who deserves no life…

Being human does not imply that you have humanity…


Details | Rhyme | |

The Doctor Is A Dead Man Walking

Bob had a special talent
That only worked in his men’s store.
He had ‘clothing ESP’.
He knew what his customers wanted…and more.

When customer would come into his store
Bob would invariably say, 
“Hello. I'm Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

And he was always right,
Never missed a color, fabric, style or size.
He even knew the necessary alterations.
Customers couldn’t believe their ears and eyes.

Meanwhile, in another part of town,
Joe had a pounding, relentless migraine
For every minute for more than five years,
It had driven him near insane.

He’d lost his job to the pain.
Then, he lost his wife.
He had lost a lot of weight and rarely slept.
Yes, his was a miserable life.

And, of course,  sex was out of the question…
Even a little self-abuse.
There was nothing left for Joe but pain.
He felt his life was of no use.

So, Joe went to his doctor.
“Doc, please help me end this pain.
Give me something to make me sleep
And never wake up again.”

“You know I can’t assist your suicide.”,
Then he looked sad, perhaps ashamed.
“I never dreamed it would last five years,
But I know how to end the pain.”

“You can make it go away?!
Tell me, Doc!  What’s the word?”
“I’ll have to remove your testicles.”
Was the last thing that Joe heard.

But…when he came to, it struck him.
Sex was out of the question anyway;
But he might enjoy his meals again,
And he could sleep for days.

“Please check me in, Doc.
This opportunity I cannot shirk.”
So, the doctor removed his testicles.
He did his very best work.

A few days later, Joe waddled along,
Headache free and feeling pretty nice;
But every attractive woman he saw 
Reminded him of his sacrifice.

He decided it was appropriate
To do something nice for himself for a change.
So, he went into a travel agency;
And a six month cruise he arranged.

As he left the travel agency,
He was excited, feeling ready to go;
But for such a glorious adventure,
He would need new clothes.

As he walked along, he saw Bob’s Men's Store.
He walked in, only to hear Bob say,
“Hello.  I’m Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

“How could you know?” asked Joe.
“It’s a gift.  I don’t know how, but I do.
You’ve suffered five years with an ailment,
Found relief, so now you’re taking a cruise.” 

Joe could not believe his ears.
How could this stranger possibly know?
"You're right! That's amazing!
And I'm going to need new clothes." 

Bob then laid out a fabulous wardrobe
All the right colors, fabrics, styles…and each size.
Joe was incredibly impressed.
He could hardly believe his ears and eyes.

“How do you like the wardrobe?”
“It’s wonderful!”  Bob could see that Joe was pleased.
“Now,” said Bob, “What about undergarments;
You know…shorts and tees?

Let’s see…medium crew neck tees, all cotton.
I believe that you prefer white….
And jockey shorts, all cotton…. 34s.
Yes, I'm sure that’s right.”

Joe beamed, “You’re an amazing talent
And I just this second realized,
You've laid out this entire wardrobe
And only missed one size.”

Bob, surprised by his mistake, asked, “Really?
What did I miss?  I did my best for you.”
“Well…you’re right.” said Joe, “I do wear Jockeys,
But…well…I wear 32s.

“Oh, no!” said Bob with an ugly grimace.
“That would be a serious mistake.
Thirty-twos would be too small, 
They would cramp your balls.
You’ll get migraine headaches.”


Details | Narrative | |

A Soul Awakened

The warm light calls me
And all the people who cries for thee
I raise my hand in this abyss
Only to make one wish
To float among the others
With all my sisters and brothers
I call out for forgiveness with passion
I take their pain into myself for this occasion
The moment that I see the sky
I will not look back and cry
My body is laying still
People standing by it with a chill
The air gets dense with sadness
I would not think of it less
Some people look up and down
To see the light hit the ground
Some can vision the uplifting feeling they see
One soul that has been and always be
It is special to notice such aberration 
And that might be how souls are awaken


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible Ink

"My pen drips of sorrow and on this paper, I write each tear" – A Rambling Poet

Someone once said, “Write not what should not be read…”
He never knew what to do otherwise
for his pen was his only friend, and paper, his face
of which emotions made themselves known

Forbidden love touched his heart,
never knowing ‘til then that it could be 
the ink for which his pen would write

He seized that passion
and wrote ‘til his fingers bled, mindless of the pain,
numb with love.
The pain was superficial after all, just blood on skin
A flurry of letters that grew strength on secrecy…

Ah, but someone once said…
“Write not what should not be read…”

But how badly he wanted to be read…
the only problem is that word called
Betrayal.

Love reveals, love betrayed;
hearts betray, hearts revealed.

It was all a ruse,
to let slip secrets that were never meant
to be known.

The pain now draws from the heart,
bleeding him dry, reaching his soul
to dehydrate him some more,
‘til Death becomes his friend.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

She receives one last letter in the post
-a blank sheet, wrinkled…warped

Was it invisible ink?
On the contrary,
its message was loud and clear.

No words needed at all, just
pure sorrow of a heart and soul 
that wept

…her tears stain that paper now,
never enough to smooth it out.







August 14, 2011  149a219 
--nikko 
for Constance’s Just Write contest :)


Details | Free verse | |

Thinking Of You

I remember happiness,
No more,
No less,
Only true love.

I imagined,
You beside me...

I remember your eyes,
I remember your lips,
I feel your love,
I know your life...


Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | Free verse | |

On A Lonely Bench

Sitting on a lonely bench,

Memories got me blenched,

Your heart I tried to clench,

Though, the rains got me drenched,

From hearts I needed to entrench...

 

Your words not retrenched,

From things I wanted to bent,

While you often tended to bend,

Without letting me mend...

 

You, I tried to fend,

You borrowed and erased te times I used to lend,

Manipulated and used by you,

Pretending to be a friend...

 

From hallows I scended

From errors you descended,

My life wished to be attended.

Even though, you got me expended,

My hands were still extended,

Even though, you got me offended...

 

The times I misspended,

You still condescended me,

Though, the changes were about to be impended,

I was still amended,

And I was still intended...

 

But, I was not comprehended,

Even though, you were condemned and untamed,

While I was aimed to be blamed,

Still, more thing you wanted to borrow and gain...

 

Although, this is the end,

The ways, I will paint,

For the pains to get unbended,

As I contemplate nature and life,

With memories that swayed and portended,

As my soul slowly transcended,

While sitting on a lonely bench...


Details | Ballad | |

the last good-bye

Disregard September’s lasting day, its simplicity long foretold, 
As the sound of summer has past us by, into the crisp and radiant fall;
Come hold this mirror to a ray of light, and pass the moment on,     
When in the hint of a calming breeze, is held the lost good-bye

Forever leaves of a brighter shade have fallen from there boughs,
While overhead October waits to softly steal by; 
For opportunities are gone to soon, and change as mornings past 
Like the worth of days, trapped in that sweet good-bye 

Man senses November and its desolate hours in a fog of its own regret,
When the sun could not cool the night, nor the moon give warmth to day;
We are caught in the measure of simple words, tied to hope and wonder
That speaks of a last good-bye

Wrapped tight in the cold of December, bound to the rhythm of life,
Gone to solitudes isolation and the sadness of that forgotten farewell,
Sacrificed to the wind that winter holds, bound to a memory past
Intent to hear of our last good-bye


Details | Narrative | |

The Woes Of Trust

An angel formed from 
lake of purity,a gift to 
mankind-illuminating 
darkest parts of hearts.
A chaste damsel,
untouched rose from the 
garden of the elves.

Sent to earth,made an 
abode in a gentleman's 
heart,whom she 
cherished and loved.

As time travelled,another 
fella whom she trusted 
lured her to un-saintly act
Her pride laid on altar of 
dishonor and infidelity.
Her life she almost 
snuffed,she feared the 
love of her true love 
would be lost. Alas! bond 
of love is indivisible.

Shattered,with a broken 
spirit she tries to mend 
the pieces....on the 
shoulder of her lover she 
leans,hoping to soothe 
her bruised heart.



Note:
A true story,a close 
pretty lady friend of mine 
was raped by her family 
friend yesterday...who 
called her and told her 
his mum was very sick.
She called me and 
confided in me .
Don't know whether to 
encourage her to call the 
police.


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Not Angry

I'm not angry because we broke up,
I'm sad because I can't let you go..
I'm not angry at you for not loving me,..
I'm angry with me for still loving you..
I'm not angry that I lost you,..
I'm sad because I once had you..
I'm not angry that I can't have you,
I'm sad because I know what I'm missing..
I'm not angry that you've moved on,
I'm sad because I can't..
I'm not angry that you won't come back,
I'm sad because I keep hoping you will..
I'm not angry because I hate you and don't want to,..
I'm sad because I miss you and I love you...??


Details | Free verse | |

My Love

Don’t know why, everywhere I look,
My eyes look out for just you…
Whatever was present ever,?is still here today, 
I too am standing here,?yet you are the only one missing,
My love… if you had to break my heart,
Then why did you take it anyways?
My love. Come for just the last time,
Sadness hovers all around,
Shade of relief in sight,
On burning sand I wander,
Just in the search for you,
Why did my dying dream?
End up on the brink of search,
Now I just pray that,
I get my share of love,
There was this doll made of glass,
In love with a stone heart,
She broke in such a way,
There’s nothing remaining in hands now.
The heart looks out in there,
Where we made promises,
And worshipped each other,
Yet I stand-alone there today…


Details | Ballade | |

The Hunter

The hunter

I saw a man once on TV
He was hunting grizzly bear
Then bear, he got the upper hand
And blood was everywhere
That man was in an awful state
But I lacked in sympathy
You live by sword, you die by sword
That’s just the way it be.

I knew a man, a fisherman
He hunted for big fish
But when his boat did over turn
He never got his wish
Cause big shark came and took his life
And Karma, it was done
It seems that this time hunter lost
And mother nature won.

It seems some folk are low on soul
And only live to kill
I have no sympathy for these
And nor I ever will
When the game gets turned around
They’ve only they to blame
Because they gained their pleasure from
This heartless killing game.


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Alliteration | |

Pain

I see the blood
You too know my thoughts
You ask me why i did this
I am ashamed at the sight
I did what i needed
My mind telling my soul
What my body wouldn’t do

Is this how it is
The satisfaction i never get
The reward of nothing
My heart cries just once
To see the hope
To feel the love it never has
To fill the gap its always had

You whisper to me
Tell me what i want to hear
But it's not what i want
It weakens me to think
All this time you thought 
But never knew me

I doubt myself 
You try to comfort me
The grip of your soul holds me
Tightens around mine
I feel your strength
The strength i never had

It doesn’t help me
Only makes this worse
The guilt I’ve felt gets worse
Burns in my chest like a fire
It will never die down
The pain is there
And it plans to stay. 


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Rhyme | |

Walking In My Shoes

My name has spread round the neighborhood anytime I slip and commit the slightest miscue. The best news caption to all ears is when the topic centers on my issue. Their deadly words causing much pain as they eat up every tissue. Refusing me all opportunity to redeem myself as all I end up doing is argue. Catching Rebecca red handed, Oh my best friend, even you! knowing how she stabs me at the back despite being attached to her like a glue condemns me beyond redemption and leaves me totally in black and blue. These stories are far from being true and their effects on me make me dysfunctional like a statue When considering the root of this problem I blame myself for giving them the avenue. Already knowing in and out of me, they coin their versions and heavily miscontrue. But this has got to stop! Swallowing this mess, is long overdue. The satisfaction and amusement, they enjoy and accrue is what I must face and ensure they discontinue. No one can be my saviour only but I, can come to my own rescue. I now leave my shell, facing squarely, those who are dedicated to my pursue. Goodness me! The result seems quite easy as they all hide to my subdue. Then I realize, I still have some virtue. Therefore, no one should dare treat me in disvalue until you start walking in my shoe


Details | Free verse | |

Tell Me Why

Why?
Why?
Why?

Tell me why?
Tell me why?
Tell me why?

Was it, because I was too nice,
I was too much of a gentleman,
or was just too much to handle?

Was it, because you were young?
Was it, because you couldn't find your heart,
in all that darkness?
Was it, because you just didn't feel the love?

Why?
Why me?
A man like me, deserves no pain,
no heartbreak.
So, why me?

I pray and ask the Gods,
why!
But an unresponsive god never speaks to me.
He sits there and watches... watching what?
Nothing, but a heart being torn to shreds.

Was it, because I was too careful?
Was it, because I loved too much?
Was it, because one half of the heart couldn't fit the whole?

I ask you, because I still love you.
Come to me, my beautiful,
stop this nonsense,
I cannot make you love me,
but I sure can try to show you love.

Do not blink,
do not take a gift sent down from the Gods
for granted.
Appriciate what you have,
appriciate me, because one day,
when you need a shoulder to cry one,
you will not be able to find me, anywhere.
I will be lost,
in a fool's dream of romance and love,
that will never come on my front doorstep.
Still dreaming of the possibilities of you and I.
My heart is with you always,
but I will soon expire,
so do not wait too long.

-10/5/2013


Details | Rhyme | |

Tears

Tears suddenly flowing on my cheeks
Coz’ of the love I truly seek
But love always pain it gives
So I learned that it is really my fate

I did my very best
But life is full of test
So crying is my only solace
And loneliness shows on my face

It’s okay to cry
And soon it will dry
And pain will disappear
And my mind will be clear


For Linda-A "Any Poem" contest

Featured Poem Of The Week
August 19-26, 2012
10th Place Winner for PD's "Old Poem" Contest


Details | Rhyme | |

Dialogue of Souls


Best of friends, for countless years,
we had the best of times.
Now as my eyes are filled with tears,
your soul to Heaven climbs.
The path we take, not always clear,
I feel so lost without you here.
Your last words, prophetic now,
“I’ll be home soon”- you knew somehow.
You left me here, I’m so alone,
but I dreamed Heaven had a phone.
We talked all night, you fell asleep,
I held the line to hear you breathe…  

 

   Copyright © 2013


Details | Blank verse | |

That is Humanity 1

I laughed aloud
To look at the strange
Action of a mad man
Who was standing
At the edge of the road
His expressions 
Were changing rapidly 
But suddenly
My laugh had a brake
And my heart became grave
Curiously, surprisingly
I saw his face
And on it 
An illegible trace
I felt something 
In my heart
Laughing at me
It was none but humanity


Details | Rhyme | |

PAIN- The Destiny of Man

Pain, excruciating pain
Gripping spine, disabling 
Till vigor and strength drain
 Prayers you chant and Hymns sing

Hospital, Doctors, MRI’s and X-rays
Cash, Debit Cards, depleting bank account
Money vanishes, but pain stays
Nothing could misery surmount

 Calves stiff, nerves sore
Walking with stick, still in pain
Whoever said, whoever swore
“Pleasure and pain are links of a chain”

Sad poems, heart-wrenching news
Failed love, desertions, betrayals
Pain intrudes with or without excuse
No distinction in paupers and royals

Pain is the destiny of man
It is a heartache or pain in spine
Man's birth is through pain and death from pain
Gripping like fog the life's sunshine 

You wish and pray it goes
It cures, soothes nor heals
With time it grows and grows
Till death your life steals




Details | Light Poetry | |

Chicken Head

       Chicken Head

       Your a bird, with no wings!
    Your soul is lost and lives in the streets.
     Why sell your body the way you do?
        you least can get your son some new shoes.
     If you going to sell your body,get what you can get.
         You have kids, you need to get a grip.
          Do you really want your daughter to grow up like you?
         To flag down cars for every man that comes threw!
           Why are you selling your last food stamps?
          To pay a cell phone bill that has laped.
      This is no debate, your son lips is cracked from being dehydarted.
     Why do you make them suffer for the things you do?
      Look into their eyes. thats the hatred for you!
         Your baby is crying tears, for you can hear.
               Crying to be loved by you,
            You can really fix the things you do!
   Each child is a gift from God, A bright shining star.
                 Look inside your heart,
    and ask your self is this is what you want to be.
          A chicken head that stay in the streets.
      Ask God for help, when you lay down to sleep.
            Pray the lord your soul to keep.
          If you should die before you wake,
       ask him to help take your kids pain away!
             Some one should decapitate you,
       for all the pain you put your kids threw.
      So stop having kids just for someone eles to raise them.
    I guess it's for the best, because you really don't deserve them!
           They cry for help, they beg of you!
     Your a lost soul, and only God can judge you!
    


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Narrative | |

Physically and Mentally Abuse

I was born in a world of poverty and soiled life of a third world country
The way I lived till I was five years of age was walls of boundary
These walls had towers of guards that had no heart or care
If a child would try to climb the wall they lose their life I swear

Father had drank and threatened my mother with a knife
My father lost his job and wife and that was the hardship of life
He stopped my mother from taking off with me in her arm
Hoping that my father would ignore and left me be with no harm

When my father went off to drink one night and came home with rage
My brothers stood by my crib and took a beating that set up the next stage
My father had woken up to three scared children half starved and in pain
His final words as he walk away from the orphanage gate live life do not go insane

I was still a baby in the orphanage; the caretakers did not really care about the babies
They stole items and materials those wicked men and maternal evil ladies
They starved all the babies because it cost a lot to keep them alive
As a child of that age I could feel the sins and greed that gave out bad vibes

I was ignorant about what I drank and ate, as I see white maggots move in my bottle
As I see them move I thought about how they were playing and some were hostel
They ate each other to keep each other alive in a manner that took me by surprise
In the back round I hear others throwing things with sounds of painful cries

I got very strong at a young age I was able to start pulling myself up over the cage
My feelings were to see my brothers with strong lungs that I cried out of rage
My two brothers came to see me and sneak food into my crib
The caretaker would find the food in my hands as they grabbed it and hit me on my ribs

As painful as it was I kept eating the food with blood in my mouth as it was instinct
I sometimes laid in my crib dazed and confused with smell of death so distinct
With all my might I kept myself strong and climb the small wall
I finally was old enough to get out of the building and I could hear my brothers call

With tears of joy with short legs that ran as fast as my heart
I ran to my brothers arms and held their hands to have a new start
I grew stronger everyday but more things came into my life in a manner of dismay
If my brothers stay by my side I could smile and everyday their would be okay



Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?


Details | Free verse | |

Betrayed

The thought of all trusts,

Was it all just rust?

The thought of all confidence,

Was it because of your insolence?

The thought of all friendship,

Was it all just dissonance?

Was it all just lies?

 

The thought of all immanence,

There was no innocence,

Was it all just imminent trust?

Was it all your fickleness?

Was it your falseness?

Was it enough faith for equivalence?

There was fading ambivalence...

 

Was I blinded by wistfulness?

Was i blinded by your words?

Was it your defiance?

Was it all about rebelliousness?

Are we going to be strayed?

Were we going to divagate?

Was I being a black swan?

 

Did you want to disarray?

Did I need to back away or just run away?

I was being manipulated over again...

Kindness is hard to give now...

Did you want to lead astray?

Are you really a friend?

 

Did you want to push me away?

Did you want to cut me away?

Did you want to break me away?

Weren't we going all the way?

You are going too far away...

You were just looking away...

 

With my tears shedding,

Will you just turn away?

Might I just fall down?

Must the world just fade away?

Was it all just waste?

Was it all already traced?

Was it all degrading?

Are you corrupted?

Am i devalued?

My unshakeable perception and unbrakeable soul,

Were they deceived?

 

All I need now is a shoulder,

Where my tears can be shed and impregnated.

A hug,

Where my bones brake of forgotten joyfulness.

A trust,

Where my biggest secrets will be kept.

A hand,

That can keep helping inconditionally.

Eyes,

That could see me for who I am.

A heart,

Where infinite solid bonds could be created.

And a soul,

Where my soul could be free and unbrakeable...

 

All because of your hypocrat double play,

I was betrayed...


Details | Rhyme | |

Ana

She writes her songs and her poems,
not one person know 'em.
She listens to the sound of her music,
she's stuck to it like a tick.

If someone took the time to listen,
her true colors would glisten.
She's put on a mask,
and hid everything when someone asked.

She was the type of girl who would always laugh,
making you wish it would last.
She was the type of girl who would smile the day away,
too bad it is no longer that way.

She is now the girl who is depressed,
I bet you're impressed.
Since no one could tell
that she was going through hell.

Everyone thought she was happy, 
when really, she felt crappy.
Everyone thought she was having the time of her life,
who would have guess her best friend was a knife?

She spent her days alone,
she seemed to do everything on her own.
Never once wanted help.
Thought she could do everything herself.

Then the day came,
when she lost the game.
She fell apart,
and everyone saw her broken heart.

They saw the way she overreacted.
Oh, if only you saw the way she acted.
She bruised herself, scratched herself, and made herself bleed,
no one knew what it was that she needed.

They saw her tears,
and that was what she feared.
They found out she wasn't okay,
oh, she hated that day.

Everyone found out about her secret,
and she wish they'd just forget,
but she knew they couldn't,
and that they wouldn't.

She left that town and started over,
no one knew she went undercover.
She said she got better,
when really... something else occurred. 

She secretly hurt herself,
and walked away from help.
Everyone thought she recovered,
when really, she was undercover.

She secretly wanted to get worse,
no one knew of course.
No one cared to ask,
if she was wearing her mask.

Now it's too late,
she locked the gate.
Killed herself,
everyone had forgotten she needed help.

Goodbye cold world,
this was a story of a girl
who once loved everyone
then feared who it was who won.


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Musaddas | |

JESUS WITH MY FAITH I SEND THIS PLEA

written 14th July 2013


My sorrow, is overwhelming my 'entire' soul
 for in my jaded life, my dear "Nath" would be the last breath taken away
Why does God, continue taking those that play the most 'critical' roll
 my life is 'never' going to endure, any hint of ease.. no way

Heart heavy, loss and pain all consuming me 'again'
 God, I plea with you leave me those that I 'love' these day's
It's become 'that' part of the year, my Nathan was taken due to 'my' curse
 tears flood my entire being, why do you always insist I live entirely 'alone'

Sorrow just in this year now at 'half point' has finally taken the 'full' toll
 I no longer see, any thing as my destiny that I shall 'exude'
When, will it 'ever' be my turn, I wait..to become the next called to heaven
 "am" I not worthy, of your abundant grace?

You, seem to take 'everyone' I 'entrust' to a faraway land
 Nathan Reide' these are my tears containing, the 'most sorrow' I've ever let fall
But, every memory of you and me, stop all of the pain
 just, another pain and despair to add to my life's endurance 'till'

I long, for peace, joy and 'any' kind of life would do me,
 at this point of my life, I can not take anymore, seriously, lighten up on me!
I fear in new friends, how long..before you conclude they too will end
 You bless me with a loving husband, mother, father, niece
 
When.. do you think you might, 'let' me see them... this  is my plea
 returning me back into church, I am in need off being blessed
How 'come' you did take that away from me? 
 faith, in me stayed 'strong' you alone know the extent

I need to move 'now' I have stayed still, and achieved what I think I was to 
 poet, I assume that was 'my reason' why you kept here
With that now in full swing
 can you now spread my wings

You are 'overpowering' my soul, and I now do as I am told
  patience, never was my best strength, have I 'not' proved to you
I'm completely at your mercy, you are the entity that drives the heart of me
 with all that, I need a break between all these sorrowful times, 'may I now move'

This is the deepest of despair, I have ever endured, please see me through
 I am more than 'positive' I WILL NOT make it through, another emotional trial
Not to be left here, still bleeding the way I still am...
 darkness has taking more of my light I'm loosing all sight, of who is me...

My heart full of anguish and grief, depression takes her advantage, of the ease
 I have nothing worth finding joy or enlightenment anyway, she will have me...
I don't have any strength to even consider the thought of even trying this time
 in defending myself against her this time
She only win's by default...

Denise Hopkins


Details | I do not know? | |

'Little bird, what troubles thee'

Little bird, what ails thee
      is it the bread in your belly
little bird, what troubles thee
      is it the bread of misery

is it the bitterness in your heart, 
     or the offense you can't forgive
is it the anguish that sets you apart, 
     or the hurt that holds you captive 
 
is it the cancer of bitter love, 
     or the loss of deserved affection 
is it the cruel withdrawal of 
     his tenderness and compassion 

life is much too brief
      and youthful love's even briefer still,
your forestalled relief 
      keeps you from seeing His eternal will

what befalls you 
      is neither unshared nor a mystery
God sheds tears for you
      in the midst of your painful agony

little bird, what ails thee
      is it the bread in your belly
little bird, what troubles thee
      is it the bane of misery


Details | Lyric | |

It's Not Over

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness 
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss

I want to carry you through the night… 
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears… 
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years… 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night… 
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) 
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…

I promise you a tranquil reality 
I want to stray with you tonight 
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us 
Pure, incredible delight 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…


Details | I do not know? | |

'Give me drink, rest, and solitude'

Give me drink, rest, and solitude--
these are all the things I long for.
Give me as well your finest food
and I'll ask of you, lass, no more!

My bonnie lass, what's the matter--
why are you all sorry and alone?
Don't be sad because you're fatter
than most, lass, for love loves its own.

Sweet lass, I'll tell you a secret.
If I were a young lad again,
I'd pursue you without regret!
But as I am three-score and ten

years old, indeed, I can never
be the youthful lad you most need.
But your pain won't be for ever:
for your heart will refuse to bleed.




Details | Lyric | |

Chasing A Dream

To what end can I chase a dream
You know it would seem 
To be insane…………
Never knowing what's real but still feeling the pain

I can reach for the flowers in bloom 
But they're all consumed
The fires' to deep - I just wish I could sleep

I look to the moon for answers but she just smiles
I don't have a clue - I've got too many miles

To what end can I chase a dream 
You know it would seem 
To be insane…………
Never knowing what's real but still feeling the pain

I cry out in the night - but the echo hurts me
It breaks me down into broken dreams
I run for the door but its no longer open - to me
I cover my eyes...... but still I can see

To what end can I chase a dream 
You know it would seem 
To be insane…………
Never knowing what's real but still feeling the pain

©2013C.L.Baker


Details | Rhyme | |

My Sins

My Sins – Zamreen Zarook

Oh God you are so gracious,
Am a guy who have done since in capacious,
At times I have being as a carnivorous,
But it charged ages to identify as dangerous.

Since are being committed behind the screen,
Even it started at my thirteen,
Mirrors used to say that I am evergreen,
Whereas my since were always unseen.

In enormous number I have executed,
But for every count, high privacy was aborted,
Simply because of your blessings we are bracketed,
If not, we are already being quoted.

Oh God, I understood your kindness,
Here after I won’t commit since in others absence,
However much chances I get to access,
I will always have heaven as my address.


Details | Didactic | |

LIFE IN THE 'PROJECTS'

like sparrows on the streets and in caves
consider how they swoop and dive 
and fatten on dusty pizza crumbs 

consider the raccoons how they squawk and squalor 
peck and fight for space to grow fat gray hairs
and live as a family in the wild consider them

consider the homeless man on East Euclid dragging
Giant-Eagle cart on the sidewalk every hour
with rags searching through litterbins for a meal

consider the hare the rabbit the crow and ants
with no pay stubs yet with no long days of boredom
and they lie in cleanest beds and smile at dinner times

then consider me after the gavel and the long sentence
living with cancelled checks crying over lost purpose
scarred of sirens and hunting shelters for meals 

consider me sleeping in fields with dead numbers 
consider me whose far-distant ancestors never crashed
in any trash but drank coffee with Carnegie on his birthday

consider me coming out of institutions that mark me forever
with a bindi that blocks my name from the list of humans
and to live I have to peep through thorn bushes and grunt   


Details | Ballade | |

The stress thats in the air

The stress that’s in the air

I saw two people quarrelling
Two neighbours these two were
They were screaming, cursing, yelling
It did the whole street stir
Such anger I had never seen
Not ever in my life
Some people’s minds to me, it seems 
Are filled with so much strife.

I remember times when I was young
I lived in south east London
And where I was, was a real rough place
Where many came undone
But still the neighbours stuck together
And they’d treat each other right
But now it seems all trust has gone
And folk just want to fight.

It seems that everyone’s uptight
And no one seems to care
About those ones outside their lot
There’s distrust everywhere
But can they really help themselves?
The stress comes with the breeze
And floats around from soul to soul
As it robs the  each of ease.

10 September 2013 @ 1925hrs.


Details | Rhyme | |

Guilty

Like tires in mud,
Like a knife in my chest,
The visions haunt me,
Until I cannot rest.

I hear those voices,
Crowding in my mind,
Fretting over my words and acts,
Afraid of what they find.

Oh the voices do not rest,
Until they have torn me apart,
The visions, voices like knives,
Driven through my heart.

They are always with me,
Morning,  noon, and night,
They may never disappear, 
No matter how I fight.

To the voices I beg,
To please leave me be,
For the visions to stop,
To the voices I plea.

I beg to stop,
And as for mercy,
I am to confess,
That I, 
Am guilty.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Little Treasure

My little treasure with such large and needy glistening eyes
She has an angelic face so soft her rosy cheeks do beam 
She is short of stature though within her she encases a large loving heart
She doesn’t ask for the world just that I am a part of it 
I held her only briefly too short a time for such an abundance of love to share
 She asks nothing impossible of me only to be held and loved
Sadly abandoned by those she trusted and loved so dear 
 Her eyes so deep and yearning as if to beg me to steal her away
So far away where hurt and pain dare not follow
So far into the quiet solace of her little dreams
My little treasure so young and fragile she is
I feel her slipping away can I save her from where she hides
Can I help her find her way to the paradise she needs
Much pain in her sweet little face I can barely glance
I pray I can save her from this cage that is her little life
In death I lost my own little treasure so many years ago
 My granddaughter needs that love I saved and buried so deep inside
A love that stands the test of time never to depart
I pray now for solace and wisdom from my grand creator
 Great courage and strength I pray will lead me in this journey


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Romanticism | |

Good bye

Regrets & mistakes they're memories made..
Our bridge burned up in smoke...
Who would have known how bitter the end would taste...
With what was done...
It over shadows all the good times we shared...
I can't take back...
My heart is heavy...
Wish I could remove the pain...
Please don't forget me, I beg....
I'll find someone like you...
And give her all the things I wanted to give to you...
I wish you all the best....


Details | Verse | |

Spirituals and Drums

My ancestors walking in the night
using oil lights and moonlight for guides
while being instructed to Wade in the Water
to camouflage their scents like disguise

The Sweet Chariot awaited 
so they could ride away
Harriet was a soldier
and it wasn't an option to be caught during the day
That's the same mentality Nat Turner had when he sang
Steal Away

They would follow the drinking gourd
so all were in accord to go north
The Gospel Train was coming
and at the end of the journey
was a fine reward
Freedom was coming
and it was a long time coming and
they walked until they heard freedom bells ringing
and I still hear their tired footsteps running

Thinking of My Darling Nelly Gray
Stolen from my arms a random September day
and eliminated our chances to run away together
No family ties, no love, no strength says the oppressor

Then I hear the drums beat in the darkness
giving me the hope of finally being free
Maybe I'll follow them this time on faith
on bended knee
There must be a place for me among the light
of this darkness
Among oppression, thieves, evil-doers
no thought on their conscience

Thank goodness for the safe houses that
supported our traveled distances
and for the conductors who bore witnesses
and may God have mercy on the souls who
were against this
and on those who chose to forget this sh@!

I still hear crying in quilts of safety 
because I know that the burden was heavy
to be at the mercy of nature and patrol men
catching run-away slaves for money
Some did it bare feet with freedom ahead of this
loved induced journey and they made it
So all that bull about how your life is hard
just stuff it in an envelope and save it



Details | Rhyme | |

Numbness

~*~ It so cold outside, Its raining hard The clouds are dark and grim But no more grim than the darkness Of the pain I feel within.. The darkness it engulfs me It wraps around my soul I can only wish for numbness For this pain I cant control Shall I write until my thumb bleeds My hand bruised , My fingers seized Ill carve words unto the page until it sets Slipping back into the darkness Yearning for a sleep with no regrets Locked in silent madness Infesting my mind with drowning memories Hoping that prose will let me find my sleep Trying to find a dream thats mine to keep This darkness will continue without a fight For theres no reason for hope without the light.. ~*~


Details | Pantoum | |

Just one More Glass


Just one more glass to quench her thirst thirst of a desert nearer to sea she ordered for another glass she was just on a drinking spree. Thirst of a desert nearer to sea so close to it, yet so far she was just on a drinking spree to forget her pain,to remove her scars. So close to it, yet so far to touch the sea was not easy to forget her pain,to remove her scars again to get that happiness key. To touch the sea was not easy drinking her pain with every glass again to get that happiness key "Another .. g l a s s!",ordered the lass. Drinking her pain with every glass to delete her past as much she could "A n o t h e r ...g l a...!"ordered the lass as glass was only her escape route. To delete her past as much she could at least for this summer night as glass was only her escape route her mind was now a flying kite. At least for this summer night she ordered for another glass her mind was now a flying kite just one more glass to quench her thirst. ========================= Contest:And with a sip Sponsor:Paula Swanson


Details | Verse | |

Philosophical Poetry Week: Transient Tuesday

I am a misprint,
Ink blot on love,
I remain a maybe
Longing for fact,
No speck of lint,
A hand in glove.
Thunder; a baby
Will only react

When you etch
Parallel clouds,
Whistling on cue
To a dead town.
Dream a sketch
Of silent crowds
Becoming you,
This boiling crown

Chews thought
Into flagellation.
Holes in the walls
To spy through,
Seeking a sort
Of bricked-up sun.
A heaven of halls,
All leaving you.


Details | Rhyme | |

A LOST MEMORY

You became my best friend, someone I would never ignore.
I know I was selfish, but I wanted more.
She became the one I wanted, and the one I got.
She definitely became the one who showed me love,
And taught me the past should be forgot.
To me she is a memory,
I do sometimes wonder if she remembers’ me.
Constantly she said you loved me I knew she lied,
I could see the fear in her eyes.
I’m letting the pain out,
With out any doubts.
I have to hurry up and let it go,
Before this pain consumes me and I lose control.
When she is around I have to wait a while,
See she doesn’t know but I have to force a smile.
I’ve moved on, so did you.
It’s scary to know you love me too.
Sure I could find someone else so I did not always feel so alone.
But they could never be you I would never feel like I am home.


This poem is for those people who can’t move on…..


Details | Free verse | |

Why

Why go to sleep?
Why we are the ones that have missing things.
Why take a breeze?
When I am the one that needs zephyr.

Why cry until you are satisfied?
When you are always dissatisfied.
Why go and feel contempt?
When we only need respect.
So, why do you expose yourself?
When you haven't cleansed yourself.

Why go and overreact?
When you sometimes don't make a great impact.
Why go and bite?
When you know you cannot eat more than you can chew.

Why give?
When you only deserve.
Why shed some tears?
When they sometimes aren't clear.
Why are you happy?
When you know you are lying.

Why are we bleeding?
When we only need healing.
So, why live?
When we go and die.
And why die?
When we want life.

We might fall down,
But it is never too late,
'Cause life,
Starts now...


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me

Save Me
By: IzaDonna

Look in the mirror
Do you recognize her
Do you see the coldness in her eyes
Do you see where the darkness lies
Hidden secrets of the past
To late, the spells been cast
And as the stars arise
My own self will be my demise

Chorus:
So you think you can save me
Finally set my retched soul free
Be my ultimate savior
You thinking ur doing me a favor
But just let me alone
My fate is only my own

I get u try and u care
But thru it all u weren't there
I cant move on from my past
The agony I feel will always last
The knife is in way to deep
So let me shut my eyes and sleep
Cause u can't fix whats already broken
The pain I feel is better left unspoken

Chorus

So as the darkness creeps in
I feel I'm paying for my sins
No way to escape
My soul is yours to take
Just let me bleed these tears
Just let me lay here
Looking up at the sky
I ask God why

Chorus

Cause you can't fix what isn't broken
The pain is better left unspoken


Details | Rhyme | |

Pain Became My Friend Today

Pain became my friend today
She showed me how to hide
She’d been watching from a distance
Every tear I cried

Pain became my friend today
Reached out her hand to me
Then pulled me into darkness
Introducing misery

Pain became my friend today
Emptying my heart
She’s now my constant companion
Tearing me apart

Pain became my friend today
She isolates my soul
Now without her I am nothing
In her I’m consoled

Pain became my friend today
When she saw me kneel down and cry
Then she lay down right next to me
To kiss my joy good-bye

Pain became my friend today
She introduced me to the sorrow
Who showed me how to dwell in agony
And fear the break of tomorrow

Pain became my friend today
Making my heart cold
Pain became my friend today
The only hand I hold


Written by Shannen Wrass
Copyright © 1995 Shannen Wrass. All Rights Reserved


Details | Lyric | |

Dark Africa

Mystery
They say it is
The land of wonderful Africa
Where dreams shatter to tears
Souls lost as water of sweat
Our landmarks bordered by wars
We cry to our so blessed destiny
Yet we worship to feed our motherland
The rich land of resources
Basins potent per world fill
When shall we be free oh Africa
When shall we love ourselves?
Our honor we bury in mass with the souls we take
Our streets we fill with blood of innocent mothers
Tension heightened in our political system
Our entire land host chaos
Yet we claim world provider
So why not feed ourselves
Rather than killing ourselves
Breathing gunshots as they blare our skies
So cursed not for freedom
We scream everyday
Yet we are blessed with no disaster
We have killed our bird
And replaced it with a bat
Where are our brave democratic leaders?
Where are the men
To stand up to this bitter trial
And restore the land before our fatal exploitation


Details | I do not know? | |

mama

mama how do i tell you its bad again
how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt
they want me to fall
to fall from the top of buildings 
and not get up
but don't worry mama
i plan to shut them up

mama how do i explain how the pain has returned
all you wanted was me to be better
i tried and tried and tried and tried
but in the end, the crazy won
they drive me crazy to no end
i want to make it stop 
but don't worry mama
i have a plan

mama i cant tell you how it feels
to be sunken to the depths of earth
angels are soaring above me
but their happy gazes hurt
i need this incessant chatter to go
to hurt me, to hate me 
it all feels so real
but don't worry mama
it wont soon

mama i can see the look in your eyes
it hurts me too that this is goodbye 
cant you see this is the only way 
for the voices to vanish but my body stay
goodbye and farewell 
ill miss you so much
but don't cry mama
ill be better now


Details | Lyric | |

Welcome to the Planet

Welcome to the planet
Wake me when it’s over
The dreamer’s always tempted
To come around and show her

And I just keep wastin my time
On girls that won’t love, me, like their wine
And it’s just too easy to blame
The rock and the system for causing my pain
And I just want you to know that I’m through
With being alone, when I’m with you 
And when you mask the truth with your lies
It just won’t get any better for the rest of your guys

And when you fall asleep
The night covers your tears
And the darkness sees you weeping
Cause your conscious can’t be cleared
This year you’re feeling colder
Your heart’s a little older
You haven’t found your soul mate
And now you think you’re too late

But one look inside of my eyes
Gives you the hope that there’s a guy
Who can make you feel happy and sad
And it’ll be worth it to feel that again


Details | Free verse | |

Bleeded Out

More things can happen or could have happened,
From a cold metal,
Sharpened in fine fettle,
Making skin nettled,
Damaging the mettles,
To keep minds unsettled,
Provoking to ask, if this is or if this was real or mental?

Blade on arms,
Skin might be harmed;
Skin was gashed,
Blade grinding and gnashed,
Red colors coming in a flash...

Blade on gut,
Feeling a sudden jut,
Provoked as a rut,
But, this was a guff...

Blade on neck,
Thinking about a sudden sweep,
Discord trying to overcome conviction and peace,
Even though, the blade failed again,
Failing to provoke the red gushes and streams...

Blade on heart,
Might be the last battle so far,
Trying to not give in, being so hard,
Though in the past, there could have been to many cuts,
And more deadly slashes,
Creating red splashes and plashes,
As I slowly might have fought, winning or losing,
Against the sleeping and life flashing feeling,
As I bleeded out..


Details | I do not know? | |

She Fell To Hell

What if the wound is just to deep?
The blood just continues to seep.
Yet the one in pain never whispers a peep.
This secret she must keep.

This weight on her shoulder..
Her body grows colder,
Secret crushing her like a boulder.

All everyone sees is the smile she shows.
What's hidden below nobody knows.
While inside it grows and grows.

She just continues to move ahead.
While the fire deep inside is fed.
All the colors she see's turning 2 blood red.

Looking at her you'd never see how hard she fell.
The whispers say pick your poison well.
As for the secret you must never tell.

She watches a tear hit the ground.
Thankful yet again nobody is around.
For to this secret she is forever bound.

She screams out in pain hoping it's a nightmare.
Yet to answer her call no one is there.
To the pain she grows more aware.
Tell this secret.. Does she dare?

She needs to get it off her chest,
or she'll be dead at best.

She starts running looking for someone to tell.
For with every second she falls closer to hell.
Sadly she knows this all to well.

There's no one around when she cries out.
Her soul filling evermore with doubt.
You may ask what's this secret about? 

Well, I can not tell, for she never got to say.
She fell to hell before she could give it away.
It remains a secret to this day.
So, still want to complain how things don't go your way?


Details | Sonnet | |

I remember

I remember when you and I were young
And you were beautiful beyond compare.
Each day we fought the world and always won
Living for the moment without a care
But time that thief has stole our youth away
And your beauty does slowly dissipate.
The world we fought has won and now holds sway
Showering us with blows we can’t abate.
Knowing now the battle is all but lost
With the fighting fought at our very gate.
Do we resist regardless of the cost
Or just give in and thus capitulate
No even at the end we must believe
Our life matters and to it we must cleave


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Rhyme | |

The eye of the tiger

Into the eye of the tiger I tumble
Fangs of grief claw at my heart.
The growling pain a low rumble
Threatening to tear me apart.

Emotions ripple beneath his skin.
Flexing muscles tensely reminds
This bloody battle I'll never win,
For in my soul, weakness he finds.

The tiger of pain circles my defenses
Stalking the memories in my mind.
He smells the fear of bloody pretences,
Of a heart that is weakened and blind.

How magnificent you are, tiger of mine
As I defiantly grab you by the tail.
The power of grief and pain intertwine
Against winds of fate I scream and rail.

Exhausted I cry for closure and peace
Primitive lament, pure pain I hear.
Every day the conflict seems to increase,
In the eye of the tiger I see my fear.


Details | Rhyme | |

Stones

Your words are like stones
Whether skipped or thrown
Destination unknown
They fly alone
Bruising and breaking deeper than bones

Yet pain from these stones will never be shown.

Whether near or far
She'll faithfully wait
Till the unknown date
When those stones are kind and lost of hate

You make mistakes 
Yes she can relate
But what if the pain becomes to great
Whe the kindness comes too late

Such small pieces of her heart
whats left to make
She gave to much
Now there's none to take

Just one everlasting ache 
That your stones did create

They say you can never retake
A women's heart once it breaks

So next time withhold the quake
Your stones with take
And keep this lesson
As a dear keepsake.

<3 Kalee Lynn




Details | Rhyme | |

STRIVE 1

Life is hard, tough, rough, like a brilo-pad
Growing up, street smart was all I had
I had no choice but to turn to the hood
It's difficult trying to change for the good
What do you do when there's nowhere to turn?
Before you decide, look back, what did you learn?

Try to survive, I'm gon' do the same

Stuck in this world, heart full of pain

Money cover evil, trying to stay sane

Cash keeps flowing, like blood to the brain

Rappin' ain't like hustling, it's a whole different game

came through a struggle, my ankle got a sprain

Haters don't care, nobody gon' look out

Everybody's grillin', but this ain't a cookout

Bullets keep flyin', that's what the scare's about

Life's rough, like the stuff between tile, grout

The hood's full of hate, what happened to love

Too many little misfits, like a tiny glove

Put haters in dirt, that's what I call gardenin'

My heart's colder than water, when it starts hardenin'

Call me care-free, I ain't got no worries

Life don't always end well, like fairy-tale stories
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Bukowski

Was it said before? Sure.
Was it said this way? I doubt it.
Perspective is in no way obscure,
And his works are nothing without it.

His motivation’s observed in daily life,
Misery, not just some vague inspiration.
He begs for reason, some way to lessen strife;
His words reflect a resounding desperation.

There seems a need at times to clarify, 
But that’s allowed in his terms only;
So many thoughts seem somewhat ‘rarefied’,
Fed his fire, but made him lonely.

No ‘underachiever’, not just another fool,
But still seeking solace by the glass;
Tempering his stagger and his drool 
With just a bit of ‘kiss my ass.’ 

But, usually, genius ‘sots’ come to ground,
Lucid moments - on the square;
Their driving ‘bolts’ of genius, word or sound,
Only written because they dare.

Yes, you can feel the written “heart”,
But few of us can realize that sort of pain;
No isolated misery… of many lives a part,
Each begs an answer... “Who’ll stop the rain?”

Yes, he’s lived it, seen it, and told it well;
But Timing is the Master of one’s Fate.
Is the timing right?  Funny…only time will tell…
Will you will be a whining sot or dare to be great?

One success can be lucky, we’ve seen that before.
One book, one song, then quietly fade away.
But six novels later, we should know the score;
He must have had something to say.

So, at the perfect time, someone heard.
Someone who was “someone” took someone under wing.
And to those with interest and empathy, they sold his words;
Saying they “are genius” and with “ugly truth” they ring.

But did he create any redeeming changes or impacts?
Yes, what singular influence did all his artful whining bring?
None... just a relentless, repetitive diatribe of sad facts.
Oh, yes…..and a little “ching ching”.

Entered in the "Idiot or Genius" contest 27 March 2014

not so genius

 


Details | Lyric | |

I'd Do Anything: Our Bond of Friendship

I regret using you like a futile tool...
I'm feeling the remorse 
replaying over and over again..

I'd do anything...for you
I'd sacrifice my life...for you
I could hike Mount Everest...for you
I'd lift up your weeping spirits...for you
I'd walk on hot coals...for you
I'd do the impossible...for you
It's true...
I'm positively sure that 
I love you...
I'd give up my life...for you
You still don't have a clue,
Do you?

I'm glad you accepted my apology once more

I promise I won't break our bond of friendship

You make me feel perfect deep inside...
Trust me - I didn't mean to make you cry...
You make me feel at ease while we go along with the ride
You help me gain more strength 
You make me satisfied with your mirth 
You make my once broken, wingless spirit 
soar .                               .                      .                   .                                 .                    .
 .                     .                              .                                                           . 
                                     .                                        .                                      .                     .        .                         .                           .                                         .                                     .

I'd do anything...for you
I'd sacrifice my life...for you
I could hike Mount Everest...for you
I'd repair your dreams...for you
I'd walk on hot coals...for you
I'd do the impossible...for you
It's true...
I'm positively sure that 
I love you...
I'd give up my life...for you
You still don't have a clue,
Do you?

You make my spirit soar anew...


Details | Lyric | |

Despondance

Here without you I feel so numb
Left out in the cold
To walk alone
The broken seams of reality
Would you miss me if I were gone
Or was I never good enough
Mmm I’ll take the shame
Drown me in all your pain

Blame it all on me
I’m just your pins and needles
Being used and abused
And then thrown away
and it's all my fault
Nothing was ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough

The death of you leaves me breathless
If it were only real
But I'm just stumbling around this dream of reality
Waiting for the rain
Hoping for the rain
To wash away the pain
Erase away the shame
But it'll never be good enough

Just blame it all on me
I’m only your pins and needles
Being used and abused
Surrounded by your cancer of lies
Drenched in silence never-ending
And it's all my fault
Nothing is ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough

Weighted so deeply with pain
I’m so sorry.... I disappointed you
Alone and cold I sing my lamentations
Where in the shadows I’m safe I'm free...still I take the pain
I wanted to save you from the dark
But I cannot stay where I don't belong

Still you blame it all on me
I’m just your pins and needles
To be used and and abused
And then washed away
Left alone...empty and forgotten
And it's all my fault
Nothing is ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough
Never good enough


Details | Quatrain | |

Fallen Victim

I have fallen victim so many times
To nobody's fault except only mine.
I will ask for forgiveness and have faith,
Even though I feel like I am not saved.


Details | Limerick | |

Life on the corner

There once was this girl who was pretty
Who resided in New York City
Got mugged Friday night
Weak attempt at a fight
Life as a harlot is such a pity


Details | Free verse | |

If I might be

If you want me to express,
Then let me progress.

If you love me,
Give me a break,
'Cause thinking of it,
I may not stay...

If you love me,
Let me lead,
If you love me,
Let me go deep,
If you love me,
I may love you,
If you love me,
Just let me be.

What if you die?
What if I'm gone?
Do you know me?
We all have secrets...

If you are hurt,
I might burn,
If you cry,
I might cry,
If you win,
I might lose,
If you bleed,
I might bleed,
If you live,
I might live.

We all have sins,
We all have burdens...

We can hear,
We can see,
We can know,
We can think,
We can feel,
We can comprehend.

Sorry.
Just let me be.
Because life and time aren't eternal,
They aren't meant to last forever...

Please,
Sorry.
Just let me be...


Details | Free verse | |

Ignored

We talked,
But I wasn't heard,
We walked,
But you scattered,
We built,
But you destroyed,
I thought,
But you acted,
We were determined,
But you exterminated...

You were blind,
I was sighted,
You were darkened,
I was lightened,
I was myself,
You weren't yourself...

I was lone,
No one cared.

I was ignored,
No one cared,
About my emotions...


Details | Rhyme | |

STRIVE 2

Life is hard, tough, rough, like a brilo-pad
Growing up, street smart was all I had
I had no choice but to turn to the hood
It's difficult trying to change for the good
What do you do when there's nowhere to turn?
Before you decide, look back, what did you learn?

Out-of-control, like an untamed beast

If I should fall, I'm gon' rise like yeast

Got the game in submission, fools better tap-out

On the road to success, ya'll on a different route

I'm shootin' up haters, more than a heroin addict

Ain't talking 'bout electricity, but it helps prevent static

Like a ship's anchor, I'm gon' hold it down

No matter the outcome, I'ma' stand my ground

I tried turning right, but end up going left

Already living in hell, so what's worst after death

Fast life, gotta' slow down, like I'm in a school zone

Made amends with people I ripped off, like clothes being sown

Searching life's meaning, can't find it in the dictionary

Gotta' change, or end up caged like a canary

Got a pocket full of green, like a bowl filled with lettuce

Satisfied, 'bout to end my run, so roll-the-credits


Details | Free verse | |

I Listened What You Hadn't Said

I listened what you hadn't said,
I made dreams without any reason,
I don't know whose evil sight has got me,
There is no place of mine in this city,
The pain is more than before,
I have made a promise with myself once again,
Eyes and path are both silent,
Now I can't talk like before,
My lips tremble,if I try to speak,
The secret of the heart can not be told,
There is an effect over me,
Though I am travelling,but I have no companion,
I kept going far,
I kept coming closer,
Once again she came into view,
Once again the matter was about to start,
The smoke from the past is prickling my eyes,
Your condition is not like me,
Why is there a little sadness in this happy news?
Why the same world is forming,
Which I have left far away?
It has once again come in my sight,
The past moments are aching my heart,
Though the fire had extinguished,
The wound kept on burning...










Details | Rhyme | |

Dad

Do you remember the times where we’d talk without saying a word?
Where you’d sit there and read, when I’d lay there unheard?
Or the times where you’d smile and sit there with glee,
because you were proud of us, your loving family?
We’d all look to you, respect you and loved when you’d sing,
especially when it was Elvis, ‘cause that was your thing.
And yet we never spoke much, at least not as I got older.
I don’t know how we lost touch, or why we grew colder.
And yet you are my Dad and I am your son,
you are the reason I’ve done all I have done.
But Dad, closing my eyes scares me on a night,
I can’t seem to get that same scene out of my sight.
Memories are twenty-twenty, that’s what people seem to find,
well if that’s the case Dad I’d rather be blind.
What I saw that day cut into me far too early, and far too deep.
That’s why these memories won’t stop haunting my sleep.
I love you, I miss you Dad and I want you to come home.
I’m tired of feeling sad all of the time; I’m tired of feeling alone.
I don’t know if you’re happier now, or regretting your decision,
all I do know dad is that I’m heading for a collision. 
I feel like I’m going crazy, like I don’t know what’s real or what’s not,
but I know that this feeling is the only sure one I've got.
I’m angry that you left without even saying goodbye; 
because I thought I at least deserved more than that, did you even try?
I want you here now just so I could punch you in the face,
for you to pick me up and tell me I’m not a disgrace.
I held up your dead body, swinging from that shed.
I did my best to save you even though I knew you were dead.
I clung onto you, hoping I could latch onto your soul,
to stop you from leaving me with this unfillable hole.
But you left dad, you’re gone and there’s nothing I can do,
except to pretend to go on smiling forever, all because of you.


Details | Ballade | |

Paying back what I owe

Paying back what I owe.

I guess that some are wondering
Why I’m writing all this stuff
About the man John Sherman
Maybe you’ve had enough
But I owe the man so much
He taught me how to be
A man who lives more in the moment
With a heart and soul that’s free.

I was angry, rude and antisocial
I had no friends at all
No one wanted me around
I’d drive them up the wall
With all  my foolish paranoid
And the hatred deep within
I tried with everything I had
To quell the nasty din.

But then I read Johns message
As I did surf the net
He told me ’do one little act!!’
And I have no regrets
That I did take the mans advice
For look at me today
My happiness is my success
And joy, it is my way.

Now I’m a very loyal man
I must pay back what I owe
John and Carla changed my life
So I want the world to know
I make me no false promises
I just say look and see
It doesn’t cost nothing at all
But it made a brand new me.

13 July 2013 @ 1208hrs.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hidden Sin

What is sin? It is something that is buried within.  Oh no! it is the
hidden sin, it comes back to haunt you again and again.  Sometimes it
is near, sometimes it is far, also it can be a hidden war that lurks in our
inner-beings to haunt us again and again.

We love today and hate tommorrow, what is this hidden sorrow?  It is the
thing that comes back to haunt us again and again.  It makes you happy, it
makes you sad, it loves to make you feel real bad. So what is this hidden sin?
The thing that come back again and again,

Sometimes you are good, sometimes you are bad, it gives you pain you never had.
What is this hidden sin? The joy and pain that is hidden within, "This is the hidden
sin".


Details | Free verse | |

Photo Album

I keep an old photo album 
on my bottom shelf. 
I get it out every once in a while, 
just to sift the time away 

I keep a lot of pictures 
There inside that book. Some are old and a little 
Yellow now, but still somehow clear. 
Funny hair and clothes. Gigs and weddings, 
funerals and newspaper clips, 
just like time standing still 

Tonight I looked through it again, 
just knowing what I might find. 
Somehow I think my heart 
knew what it was looking for. 
by the time I got halfway through 

As I neared the end 
of this blue memory lane…I saw it again… 
the picture of you and me on our first night together. 
I remember your blue eyes, your beautiful smile…. 
I remembered you….in my heart 

You are, were, and always will be the love of my life, 
The memories came flooding back, 
too fast for words, and too strong to hold. 
I remember God smiling down on us 
As we shared our first night. 

Dear God-how I loved you 
(and still love you) so much 
But now it can’t be…when 
time and pain have driven us apart. 
How did it get this way? 

For minutes that seemed like years, 
I cried my tears on your picture 
And kissed your cheek on that page 
I was trying so hard to keep the pain away. 
But it came unrelenting… 

And I’m afraid there are 
many more tears to cry 
who knows when they’ll come 
My heart is forever yours, captured 
in a snapshot on page 24 

As I lay me down to sleep 
I pray the Lord keeps you safe 
May you feel loved tonight 
even though 
I’m very far away 

I’ll always keep your picture 
And your kiss inside my heart 
I just can’t bear to 
throw away the memory 
Of the love that we’ve lost 

Your picture is still inside 
That album on my shelf 
Sealed by tears, and prayers 
Memories too painful to hold on to, 
and too precious to let go


Details | Lay | |

Winds of a Changing Way

	I see darkness; coldness; an abyss. I feel cold; lonely; and fear. I know not of how I am able to change my current course in the sea of indifference. My oars are but a shell of the person I used to be. My boat is a hollowed out soul. The fear I feel is irrational, but it’s my truth. My anchor is the pain of my anguished self. The water I float on is the tears that I can’t cry and hold within. My destination is unknown but not worth the trip. My navigation equipment is the smile of yours that I will never be able to obtain.
	Does the course make the person or does the person make the course? Will we ever know until we get there? Is the pain of life worth the trip?  When does one know when the trip is even over? When we die? Is it before our death? Is it after our death? Does it even matter? Why do we make impossible plans for our future, when our present needs the most tending? How can I allow one person dictate how I choose to course my voyage? Not anymore.
	I tried to hold on to you with whatever strength I had. I don’t have the strength any longer. Now you are nothing more than debris in the river I am forging. Your opinion is like a drop of water in the midst of the ocean I have taken my voyage on. The tides are lower everyday because I no longer cry over you. There is nothing left for me to do, but to ride on my present course, and to find my true inner self. My course has been changed. My navigation set anew. Now my course shall be whatever I choose. No longer will it be what I think you would have me choose. Never again, will you be my tugboat. I am my own ship now!


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus My Life Is One HUGE Embarrassment


For many years... My life has been an embarrassment! Filled with hopelessness and discouragement! Many things I thought I had enjoyed... Have left in me... A large and empty void! Many nights, I would cry myself to sleep. Knowing the hole my life was in, was very, very deep. Then one day, I called out to God! I wasn’t sure if he’d listen! My family, my old church, I was now missin'. My family prayed for me for so many years. I often brought them embarrassment and tears. God... I tried everything else... I want to come back to you! I need you now Jesus! I really do! Please come into my heart, and cleanse me within! Set me free from all addictions and sin! I know that you will never let go of my hand. My whole life, on your word, I shall now stand. Only you can satisfy the emptiness in my soul! I am now complete, satisfied, and made whole! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Seeking accompany

Seeking accompany- Zamreen Zarook
 
I kick to wonder what made me to cry,
Am really writing as a fry,
Myself launch to be dry,
This ink will be a victim for my cry.
 
What really went wrong with me all these day,
What made e to forget my last day,
I realized I jumped out of my track yesterday,
So I regret for that, what is called as present today.
 
Happiness have started to wave hands for this sinner,
Sadness have started to move inner,
The faults that I considered as miner,
So far changed as a miner of a winner.
 
My face was a comparison to sunlight,
Where as my routine changed it to moon light,
I wish to get that twilight,
As a sinner I started to search for that enlight.
 
I started to enjoy what is right,
I remade my faults as a kite,
I wished it would fly apart from my  sight,
My system said, you are free from your rubbish weight.
 
It proved that I always should depend on god,
In whatever the variation of my mood,
He is there to clear my victorious road,
So, I started to live according to His code.


Details | Couplet | |

The Second Man

Am I doomed to live a tale I cannot simply complete?
Shall I always remember her with every knocking beat?

I loved a girl who was never supposed to be mine, 
I drew her sky with lilies and her ground with pine; 

Saw new horizons from the beam of her blue eyes, 
Never knew these radiant cyans could be made of lies;

They warned me not to dream far with a too-closed lid,
Vanity told me it is envy and my vision became turbid! 

First month was a walk in Eden with roses flying in between, 
Second month declared the birth of a love yet not foreseen; 

The third summoned all jealous gazes and murmurs in a chest, 
In the fourth she disappeared and no it is not some silly jest! 

I wandered far and long trying to figure out as much as I can,
Why the only girl I loved would run away with another man?

Does love deceive humans when it manipulates and controls them?
How easy for us to blindly fall into a cleverly-webbed state of rem!

A year passed me by with all of its months and weeks and days, 
I aged in that empty year but had to bitterly live that phase;

Just then I saw her striding along the road, a vision to be seen,
The girl, who haunts me still, was carrying a baby so serene!!

My heart grew colder as I greeted her with the words I barely mustered, 
The scene deadened me since then and left me again heart-flustered! 


(True Story - Happened between 1996 and 1997)

© Guru Jad 2013


Details | I do not know? | |

For Men Everywhere One Billion Rising

1 Billion Rising.

For Men Everywhere.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

Stop!

Stop the abuse!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Listen!

Listen to the voices!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Think!

Think of how you treat,

grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Act!

Act now to change yourself!

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when you stop,

the violence,
the abuse,
the rape.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

is perpetrated by,

grand-fathers,
colleagues,
boyfriends,
husbands,
nephews,
brothers,
partners,
fathers,
uncles,

men,

all men.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when us men stop,

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

today, now.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!


Details | Sonnet | |

Forget me, you, where upon your name shall shine,

Forget me, you; where upon your name shall shine,
Where, therein your heart shall not ever repent,
For by then, I will be gone without a sign
And our love with its flowers shall far be sent,
And thus my part, a lover, done and proven,
For this ain't my love that don't care your future,
But the truth that I will burn in an oven,
Tolerating my broken heart in suture,
Escorting pain along with me to the sea,
To the depths where your eyes and heart shall not reach,
If once you see my son, call him for a tea,
For I shall sing him our love and its songs each,
For now this is all I say when you marry,
That my distance is my love that I carry. 


Details | ABC | |

Grey Bird

On that cloudy weekend in June 
I hear a soft and graceful tune 
from the grey bird on the tree 
branch 
Singing sweet lullabies felt 
blessed in the moment 
My body tingles of joy at sight 
Gazing out through 
my open door,
Letting thoughts fly free
Releasing love out into the horizon 
Heart filled with emotion came 
over me 
Grey bird stood playing its tune 
for awhile and on the wings of 
letting go
Then as the rain fell from the 
sky the grey bird flew away 
gracefully 
I blew a kiss to the clouds and 
utterd these simple words of I 
Love You father ( who's now in 
heaven ) and yet I hope to hear 
that grey bird sing again once 
more for me 
Farewell, love your son

Poem contest for Debbie -referential


Details | Rhyme | |

Chicken Karma

Written in 04 when there was a chicken flue scare...Peter

Chicken Karma.

Chickens fighting back with Karma
Coming down with chicken flue.
People watching all those years now
{people being me and you}
Watching all those cruel fellows
I'm the same I watched it too.

Creatures kept in little cages
Beaks cut off to make them meek.
Never seeing sunny weather
No room to move, of this I speak!!
And now us folk be getting worried
That chicken flue our deaths will seek.

Well I be saying "ain't my fault"
But me, I've ate that chicken too.
And I knew what folk were doing
I'd seen the cruel things they do
And now that karma's getting closer
Will the world go down with chicken flu?.

Dec 30 2004.


Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Romanticism | |

HOPE, RESURRECTED

The signs of passion are poker faced.

I spend my nights in deathly ardor

Digging deep into the muffled dreams

That cry for forgiveness..

I take a puff of the cigar,

And pant quietly, with tears in my eyes

The sullen kisses and the fake good-byes…



The roses dried with my breath,

I fancied love, but God forbade:

The smiles that played hide-and-seek,

Bore my frowns away..

From every stranger who touched my hand,

Promised the plight to neverland;

I mocked my pain and lived to die

In the arms of pity..



The sounds of passion were tricked to silence.

I spend my hours in muted rhythms

Searching more for the truth that lied..

And warned to conquer forgiveness

I take a sip from the liquor’s trench

And let myself go astray

Wished I had died that day..



The violins cry with my voice

I seek to change the devil’s choice

The tears that stoked my conscience 

Have found its place in mystery dens

They wander to deliver the day’s omens

I mocked my pain and lived to die

In the arms of serenity






~~Thank You for the reviews and comments~~


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Hidden Away With A Smile

My pain emotionless on my face

The tears I cry hidden away with my sorrow

Nothing more for what you won't understand

To be insecure for which I don't choose

Jealousy eats away for I won't give it joy

A sadness to overcome with each lesson

To stand by and watch for no control can be tamed

Once in your path I can't seek to search for the words I want to say

The scars left behind to be hindered upon

Only to weep and help better thy for oneself

One smile can hide all without opening the book

Behind it who knows what lies there


Details | Free verse | |

We all fear

Why do we feel hatred?
We fear discontrol.

Why don't they get it?
Why don't they comprehend?
Why do we wait?
Why do we protect?
Why do we run?
We fear destiny.

Why does it hurt?
Why does it burn?
Why do we fight?
Why do they betray us?
We fear love,
We fear friendship.

Why do we keep?
Why is it deep?
We fear the abyss.

Why hell?
Why heaven?
Why purgatory?
We fear darkness,
We fear light.

Why do we live?
Why do we die?
Why do we suffer?
We fear death,
We fear life.

We all live,
We all die,
We all keep,
We all fight,
We all suffer,
We all cry,
We all love,
We all wait,
We all give,
We all receive,
We all trust,
We all wish,
We all dream,
We all remember,
We all feel...

We all vanish,
We all rise,
We can ignite.

We fear destruction.
We all expect,
We all regret,
We all lie.

Why hate?
Why do we create?
Why do you stare?
Why do they glare?
Why explore?
Why hope?
Why goodbye?
Why shine?

We all think,
We all see,
We all go,
We all deserve,
We all pass,
We all fear...


Details | Free verse | |

Enta Eih

What are you (how cruel are you) isn’t it enough,
That you hurt me? Have pity. How cruel are you?
Why my love, is it so easy for you to bring me to tears,
And why do I accept that you hurt me when my soul is part of you,
And why am I accepting this torment at your hands?
If this is love, my misery is from it,
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again,
And if it is my lot to live in torment,
I shall live in torment,
Have you no pity? Have you no shame that you cheat me knowing the love I have for you,
Is it not a shame, the passion and the years and longing that I am living for you?
Was the love lost completely? Or has it been a game,
Was the love and tenderness and my heart and faith in you all lost?
If this is love, my misery is from it,
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again,
And if it is my lot to live in torment,
I shall live in torment…


Details | Free verse | |

Husband, Im listening

I sat there listening to your words, 
as you told me
Told me, you felt my pain and cried 
my tears
Telling me you missed me, each and 
every night
While I cry, my sad sounds
Pouring my heart, releasing my 
roots
Listening and believing your words

Until, shadows start coming out the 
dark
Truth, shines upon my rose bush
Telling me, your not telling the truth
Thunder, keeps hitting my eardrums 
Trying to show me, you

I sat there listening to your words, 
as you told me
Told me, you felt my pain and cried 
my tears
Telling me you missed me, each and 
every night
While I cry, my sad sounds
Pouring my heart, releasing my 
roots
Listening and believing your words

I opened, my soul and listened
I relax my body, and took all the 
signs
Realizing, I'm hurt at the end and 
destroyed 
I'm home, suffering from this pain 
of love
While, your out having a good time
I'm home losing weight
While , your out eating at buffets
I'm home, not committing adultery
While, your out sinning under our 
skies
Creating more and more lies
Not realizing, shadows do come out
They come out the dark

I sat there listening to your words, 
as you told me
Told me, you felt my pain and cried 
my tears
Telling me you missed me, each and 
every night
While I cry, my sad sounds
Pouring my heart, releasing my 
roots
Listening and believing your words

I sent you money and cater, from 
afar
Understood, you are my husband
Under God, I shall obey
Obey , his laws
But , who's laws, do I obey
When all this sin, is in my skin
Ripping me apart
Far apart, from the one, I love

I sat there listening to his words, as 
he told me
Told me, he felt my pain and cried 
my tears
Telling me, he missed me, each and 
every night
While I cry, my sad sounds
Pouring my heart, releasing my 
roots
Listening and believing his words

Now!
What to do, my mind is so confuse
Confuse on walking away or staying
I guess, it's not up to you
Now , that I know the truth
The truth about listening, to your 
words


Details | Free verse | |

Written Tragedy

A glimpse of heavenly bliss taken away |
My heart sinks as I can longer find |
For you, I willingly have trusted |
But you left, not even a glance back |

Didn't care to see the pain |
Didn't care to see the fragile heart |
To which a piece of it was broken |
Since the day you chose to be careless |

Sometimes I just want to give up |
It just hurts me for you no longer cherish |
Why can’t I have that same mentality? |
Yet, foolishly, here I am still holding on |

All I’m stuck with are distant memories |
Yet, the absolute and bitter part of it all |
Are the majestic memories you left with me |
Ones that are worth to hold onto for a lifetime |

But every time I think about it, I relive it |
Every time I relive it, I feel my heart bleed | 
Something so beautiful just to be thrown away |
It been better, had it never happened |

But you're not here to treat my wound |
Oblivious to my agonizing pain |
Only because I chose to conceal the truth |
Masking it within to not complicate your life |

But one can’t help but ask |
How could you have not noticed? |
Would you intentionally left me in the dark? |
To become estranged from a bond we once built on? |

It is only then, I begin to put a wall |
A wall that will never be broken down |
To not only protect myself from others |
But to protect others from me |

No longer able to trust or depend |
Unwilling to give my love or affection |
Who really knows what lies behind that smile? |
Everything I once believed in, cease to exist |

Nothing but words of deception; acts that kill |
Countless encounters, but only a few |
To whom I gave my all; my inner self |
It’s not easy for me, for I don’t trust many |

But only because a promise was made |
That you were the real deal; the true friend |
One who could not be altered to turn the other way |
But you have abandoned me; left me but a few words |

Left me when I needed you the most |
Leaving me stranded in the midst of confusion |
Made me to believe that I was unworthy |
Undeserving of an explanation or goodbye |

Initially, you rescued me from my own darkness |
You helped me to see my possible future in bright colors… |
Now, the only inspiration I have that keeps me going |
Is hopelessly writing about my once past tragedy |


Details | Sonnet | |

A Temporary Goodbye in the Broadest Sense of Temporary

With great fervor they write without end
Pretty words that could not even be read
Though he tried, he had no will  to lend
The voice inside expiring, left for dead 

There was some pleasure even concern
Pondering the loss of the bonds formed
The thought he could not even discern
His own demons, now left him scorned

No more adventure left in his lost soul
What could they truly understand in him
No more desire, he tried to form a goal
A pursuit also that left him without whim

What more can I do, but write these things I feel
What more can I say, I have nothing left to reveal


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A Hertfelt Cry

He raises his  voice louder and louder it goes

I beg him stop, stop ,please stop

He grabs me, he pushes me

The more I beg him to stop, the angrier he becomes

I slap him thinking it will stop him

Oh so wrong I am, his anger deepens

He hits me again and again

The pain  oh so strong I tell only one, his sister

Soon too be mine if  this, this pain  I can endure

I cry often for I love him so

I cry often for I can't  take his pain away

Oh Lord place your heeling hands on the one I love so

 Ease  his pain, give him strength to let go of his past 

Show him your love so he can truly love again





Details | Rhyme | |

Might these be

Might this be a wonder,
Might this be a sunder,
Might this be the blocker,
Might this be the warder,
Might there be a plunder,
Might it pass the border,
Might there be a dweller,
Might they be lodgers,
Should they be squatters,
Should they be trespassers...

Might they squander,
Might it scatter,
Might this be a sputter,
Might there be a clutter,
Moght there be to many clusters,
Might this be the controller
Mightit get power...?

Might these be handlers,
Might these be forcers,
Might these be the squashers,
Might these be the breakers,
Breaking some of the order...

Might this be a night,
Going to a wretched midnight,
Coming from a raging twilight,
Until these be ended, throughout nighttime,
Later waking from our bedtime,
Maybe dying to see the morning light,
Might this be happening tonight...?

Might there be a knight,
Might there be a fight,
Waiting for a shining might,
Coming from some rainbow's light,
coming slight from the nighttime,
With some waiting for their fly...

Might these fight the ghouls,
Might they get to their goal,
Might this vanish some ghosts,
Whom want all of our souls...

Might this be other things,
Might these be the lives of life,
With some asking, might these be I...?


Details | Personification | |

The Snow

Falling at a terminal velocity
From the ether we fall at a speed that is  
Slow
What is my purpose, my destiny
Inevitable fate befalls the
Snow

Colliding with the other frosty white souls
Scattered across the ground sparkling like bright white
Gold
We're born in a season that is dead
How can something so white and pure be 
Cold

Like vampires the sun is our infirmity
Dawn approaches illuminating hues of
Wry
The epiphany before my death 
Is everything is impermanent 
Why


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Feeling cold,
Lost in desperation,
Remembering sadness,
Getting in frustration...

Trying to let go,
Comprehended,
By few of those.

Losing comprehension,
Restrained from myself,
Being criticized,
Feeling hollowed.

Needing help,
To bring me,
Back to life...


Details | Lyric | |

I Wish It Would Rain

Dark clouds hanging over me I feel so alone I don't know who to turn to I want so bad to run away Yet I know that the clouds will just follow me and I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain I really don't know where this all came from My heart is aching My Head is so full Sleep doesn't come easy And I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain Each day I paste on a smile I try so hard to hide What is going on inside I wish I could let go Not hold it so close I don't know who to turn to though And So I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain I want so bad to hide Let it all go Have a good cry It doesn't seem possible I have to stay strong Even though I feel like I am falling apart And my heart is breaking I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain Maybe then the clouds would go away I wouldn't feel so alone My heart would stop aching And I wouldn't have to keep hiding What I am Feeling inside


Details | Lyric | |

How Do I Love You So

In this wretched and dark place,
it's the only world I can show my face.
Ashamed of my love,
A past full of disgrace.
And yet all I want is to see your face.
But it's something I've longed to
erase.
Why do I love you so? 
These crazy feelings they need to go.
You have my heart racing like i need to show,
my love for you but I just really don't know 
how I love you so.
It's been a long wild trip,
but this I must rip.
And thats you from my heart
Yea that'd be a better start.
But here comes that thing again 
you make me want to sing and then
You see right through me
do you know what you do to me
All these things I've done you see
Fueling my insanity.
Make me want to fall apart,
Spill knowledge from this broken heart.
All I ever wanted was to be set free,
Can you really not see all of what you've done to me?


Details | I do not know? | |

Can't Be Friends

Before, while, and after I said goodbye
I couldn't help but sit there and cry.
I cried on and off for 7 hours and slept one
Woke up and cried again, I still wasn't even done.

Two more hours…wake up again.
Every so often a tear falls in the open.
I literally feel an aching pain in my chest
Thinking of how I lost you, wanting to forget.

I'm feeling sick and I still haven't ate.
I want you…my thoughts aren't straight.
Mane, almost every tweet...is about you
And almost every thought…is about who?

Someone who could have been playing me
Or showing me where my desires could lead.
I wanted to tell you everything, I wanted to say more,
There wasn't enough time and now my broken heart's feeling so sore.

I just wanna be alone and listen to this depressing song,
I can't get you out of my head... it hurts. Is that wrong?
I understand that I may be foolish wasting my time hurting over you.
But in all honesty my dear, I really wanted us to be something too. 


Details | Quatrain | |

My Pain

I feel the blinding pain inside,
It rips my soul in two;
No matter how I try to hide,
My growing pain from you…


Details | Rhyme | |

Football pains

It was right there, right past our grasps
The playoffs gone just that fast
The last year, it was our final chance
We went hard, but it seems we never had a chance

Tears leave eyes as we undress
Removing our pads to make the burden less
The coach comes in and his eyes are red
Said he was proud of us, we worked until our hearts bled

I just watched, a stoic face and a stoned heart
I showed no emotions but i felt the loss
I embraced the other seniors in my turn
With dry eyes to soothe the burn

The juniors watched us, not quite understanding
But they felt it, the pain we was withstanding
Leaving the locker room, we embraced the ones we loved
Eyed blank as they tried to wipe away the blood

What's past is past, there's nothing we can do
Its just a game, a sport said a few
But when you put that much effort and pain in
And you lose, its hard.. so hard not to be blue


Details | Free verse | |

No Party For Pity

 No party for pity. 
 Question the absurdity. 
 Friends, use discretion 
 if you get an invitation. 
 It's counterfeit. 
 Don't believe it. 
 Don't RSVP, 
 if you receive it. 
 Discard immediately. Don't contemplate. 
 It'll lead you nowhere. Don't save the date. 
 No early, late, or on time arrivals. 
 The doorbell is silent. 
 No lively dinner guests, 
 dressed in their best. 
 No hors d'oeuvres served on a fancy plate. 
 No thought-provoking conversations. 
 No guestbook to sign. 
 No vintage wine. 
 No catered food. 
 No live music for the mood. 
 No celebration for pity's pains. 
 No "congratulations,"  for complaints.         
 No party here. Discard the invitation. 
 Pity's alone, in bitter contemplation.


Details | Free verse | |

Light To Dark

You think you’ve gone just far enough,

I could smile knowing you’ve gone far enough that you can’t go back again

You think you were careful but,

I’ve caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form

You think you can find a way into my good graces

I’ve seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume

You can’t deceive me anymore and, I don’t consort with serpents

You think I’m a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win

Don’t underestimate me

You think I’m a joke but, trust me you won’t be laughing

You think I’m just talking myself up but, trust me, you’re the ones going down

My eyes took too long to adjust

Better late than never

It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours

My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep

Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet

Then I thought about the mess it would make

I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own

I was not weak, but I had a weakness

A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care

No longer

Now my heart is a stone so heavy

I could kill at least two birds at once 

Being the nice guy is a thing of the past 

Thanks for freeing me of that softness

You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things

When really I had just been swallowing razor blades

Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong

Can you feel my darkness coming, because it’s eager to hold you

If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run

Your gonna be the one with tired feet

I’m not sad anymore

Just sick with the plague of your lies

Contagious, and I’m looking for someone to kiss

Even angels can make themselves wicked

When we do, we take no prisoners

Still think I’m a game

This one is just beginning


Details | Verse | |

The reality that hurts

How many things you should give up
So they will see?
How many nights to cry, so
They will notice you?

Living with the indifference of others,
Forgetting the necessity of warmth,
Then what is this life for?
We do create by ourselves
The reality that hurts.


Details | Triolet | |

On Cliff's Edge

upon the cliffs I tarry ~ still as sunset bids adieu to day I feel so cold, a deadly chill upon the cliffs I tarry ~ still so desolate, bereft of will with trepidation, feet of clay upon the cliffs I tarry ~ still as sunset bids adieu to day. whose evil spell did weave such pain that took this heart, and bled my soul I've lost too much, and can't remain whose evil spell did weave such pain my morrow's hopes all died in vain for death I know the bell doth toll whose evil spell did weave such pain that took this heart, and bled my soul. the sea sings dirges of my fate my skirts form wings, blown by the wind the waves collide on rocks that wait the sea sings dirges of my fate a voice begs 'no', but it's past late I brace and leap; soul's suff'ring's end the sea sings dirges of my fate my skirts form wings, blown by the wind.
© 11/10/2011 Lucretia Crouse Triolet is an eight line poem where the first line is repeated for line four and the first two lines are repeated as a refrain for lines seven and eight. Triolet Rhyme Scheme: A B a A a b A B Written in iambic tetrameter (8-syllable lines)


Details | Free verse | |

Theatrical Life

No drama,
Criticized,
No scene,
Criticized,
No theater,
Critized,
No life,
Criticized,
No death,
Criticized...

A hipnotic spell,
A happy comedy,
An impact of tragedy,
A depressive sorrow,
A constant paranoia,
A living psychology,
A passing psychiatry...

An endless beginning...


Details | ABC | |

Swept By Sight

Over and across the moon
In this lonely night,
I stare at the castellation
Which glitters your face.
But because I miss you
The wind whirls out your name
Then eventually it feels like rain in my heart.
As the clouds draw near
Deep down within, my river turns to a sea.
With tears in my eyes,
I look away.
Because I refuse to let the storm determine my destiny
Because it's your hurricane that I fear the most.


Details | Ballade | |

My Dearest Daughter

I want you to know my dear daughter
I thought of you every day
The thought you say your daughter hates me
The question asked is how can a baby hate

The answer is, a baby learns what it is taught
I never raised you to hate in any way
To disrespect or live such a troubled way

You've hurt me like no other has
In such a way it no longer bothers me
Although I think of you more then you'll know
I no longer care if I see you again

You were my dearest, my one and only
And the day I gave birth to you
Gave me bragging rights in all that you do
I showed I was proud,  you didn't understand

Much time has gone by
I hardly think of you any more
The day will come, you will need me again
That day will be, when it's much too late

I won't be the one who will be so hurt
You will find that you waited much to late
My time will have ended on this dear earth
I will be gone, spending my time in Heaven

I will watch over my dear granddaughter
I will guide, guard and protect her
From the evil that you teach her
That my dear daughter is a promise

I will take care of her, from above
I will teach her how to love, honor and respect
Things I did teach you, you weren't paying attention

I want you to know my dearest daughter
I loved you before you were born
And I loved you 'till my dying day

I now love you from above
But now you're on your own without my love
Just remember this my dear daughter
You took the love I had to give my granddaughter
From her life, she'll never know

You cheated her, from a part of life
She will find out, and pay you back
When that happens, remember this
It's the same, you did to me


Details | Rhyme | |

The last Letter

The hardest thing I had to do?
The day I said goodbye to you.
We sat there and our words were few
Yet in that moment I just knew,
This is our last goodbye.
You didn't cry it's not your style
And you and I each wore a smile
But both were thinking all the while
You'll soon be there on high.

I never thought my love could grow
But being there it was just so.
We'd sit and let our love just flow,
Then came the day I had to go
We said our last goodbye.
Now daddy what you did not see
Is how my heart broke inwardly?
Those gentle words must comfort me
You'll soon be there on high.

09.05.2014


Details | Rhyme | |

A Nursery Rhyme Of An Ugly Kind

Poor little girl named,
No..I won't say who,
did not know what to do.
She has a great burden
that she must carry
given to her 
by a trusted man,
who was close and married

He told her not to say
how he stopped her at play
to teach her his many lewd
and ugly carnal games.

So in fear
she would be to blame
and in fear
of her love ones hurting
that poor little girl 
promised never to say
and now must carry
that enormous burden.

Written by me in the eighties for a child abuse campaign. Revised 2013







Details | Sonnet | |

The Words That Hurt

A person starts a rumor and it spreads,
It spreads like fire fueled by diesel gas,
It leaves people crying in their beds,
The fire spreads faster on very dry grass,
The time passes by but nothing changes,
The receivers of abuse get no help,
They don’t like to have hurtful exchanges,
They don’t like to shout, they don’t want to yelp,
As time proceeds the pain will not die down,
It will keep on going until the end,
In their tears they will eventually drown,
Little do they know help’s around the bend,
God heard all of their countless fearful cries,
They no longer live with tears in their eyes.


Details | Elegy | |

Tears Must Fall (In honor of the Virginia Tech tragedy)

Unlock your sorrowful tears,
Let them flow Like a raging river. 

From the depths of your being
howl Like a wolfcub who has been
Abandoned by his pack.

Ask for the comfort you will
need in all the days to come.

Keep your expression of sorrow
with you as Long as you need to grieve.
It will bend of it's own 
accord when you are finished.

Allow yourself the unhindered crying
your soul will require to heal.

To make sense of things, grasp your 
spirituality as a way of sailing 
far far away from the utter
horror of it all.

Do not try to push those tears aside,
as your pain and suffering is meaningful,

Though it does not feel that way now...

Take their photo's from your wallets
and display them at will,
with awesome Love and abundant pride.
Take them out as need be
and shower them with tears and memories.

I promise you, it will validate
their very existance.

Know that the very waters of your
faith will certainly be tested.
Also know that this too shall pass.

Your pain will remain forever but
your faith will return tenfold.

Allow the Light to pass over your
darkness and believe that one day
There will be healing.

If you can find the strength within,
you must allow for access back into
Your hearts, for one day you will
feel entitled to open the gates that
have held you under seige.

         
Because grief will never Leave you
where it finds you...


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Military wife

Today  I will just be looking out my window while it rains, because just hearing the sound of the thunder gives me a feeling comfort  and as the lightning strikes it’s as if its telling me that it is feeling  my pain in the same way –
And as these tears keep feeling in my eyes I remember that I’m still going to be alone once again tonight  Which is the hardest part of being a military wife but as long as I have you I promise to be as strong as I can be for us—
Deep inside I hide all my sadness and worries when I am around our friends not wanting them to know these thoughts of you never end, because they just wouldn’t understand why I am weak and on my knees just trying to keep believing in your safety, As I pray each day for you to just come home  and sometimes late at night I wonder if you feel as alone as I do, oh- and do you wish to be with me the way I wish I was with you,  
Do you think of me the way I think of you, do you toss and turn threw out the whole night  wishing that you were holding me tight, oh- and do you dream of me when your all alone at night, I know you understand how I feel, And that my love for you isn’t fake and that its real, And when I am thinking of you I imagine I can feel your every move, Your every breath with each and every step I take, I just believe that no matter what  your safe, and As long as you need me the way I need you I will be strong for you for the rest of my life as your military wife.
Tonight I will just be looking out my window while it rains, because just hearing the sound of the thunder gives me a feeling comfort  and as the lightning strikes it’s as if its telling me that it is feeling  my pain in the same way –
And as these tears keep feeling in my eyes I remember that I’m still going to be alone once again tonight  Which is the hardest part of being a military wife but as long as I have you I promise to be as strong as I can be for us—


Details | Narrative | |

Chance

Chance

By BJ Welsh

With life and living we take our chance
Nodding in agreement to a furtive glance
Waking up each day is a chance we take
That life will deliver us for Heaven’s sake
We awake each sunrise with a hope reborn
Chance seeing an other suffer and torn

It’s one other’s life you see at a glance
Hoping for approval, it’s but a chance
The life you witness as others pass
The pain inside may subside, alas
Hoping to see one as you
The chance you take to find two

Running out of time the clock is ticking
Chance there are others whose lives aren’t clicking
Great as that may be, the chance you’re all alone rises
Furtive glances from beneath disguises
Chance that hiding the pain and hurt won’t last
The agony you feel will not be fast

Chance you soon become discovered
In your waking hours its’ uncovered
You’ve lived a life of hurt and pain
 The chance you’ve taken may have been in vain 




Details | Rhyme | |

We Have A SIN Condition

We Have A Sin Condition! We have more technology, but we have a problem! We have many “issues.” And don’t know how to solve them! Governments answer seems to be “spend, spend, spend.” But we have this condition, that God calls; SIN! Just look at the problems that are all around you! It’s amazing that they don’t “overwhelm you!” There’s all sorts of evil all cross our land! But there’s something very few understand! We’ve sent men to the moon and outer space! Yet very few reach out and receive God’s grace! The Bible says, “the heart of the man is sinful.” Without God, man’s heart is never “peaceful!” Jesus love provides for the world that fails us! He offers his love! Simply because he loves us! There’s no “condition.” His love is freely given! Won’t you accept him? And be totally forgiven? Where there’s sin. God’s grace does much more abound! There’s a new life for you! Just waiting to be found! Our sins for his love! What more could one ask? And enjoy a love and peace that will ALWAYS LAST! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Ballade | |

Vets story

Vietnam Vets Story

Have you heard the story
Of those bold courageous men
Who served their country tall and proud
As they fought in Vietnam.
They done their country proud and all
And showed how soldiers fought
But now their lives aren’t worth a damns 
Their nerves all tense and taut.

They sprayed their poisons on trees
Endangered all these men
And fed them drugs not tested yet
They didn’t care back then!
They wanted just to win a war
A war pointless and mad
And many now do suffer so
Their lives all sour and sad.

And now these men just live their lives
All down with no self value
{Their bodies torn their minds all twisted
Marriages broken too!}
They have to fight with all their might
To get fair compensation!!!!
What price to risk one’s soul and life
In defence of one‘s good nation.


Details | Narrative | |

Words of Meaningless Torture

I only ever tried to be there for you. I thought I was your friend...I thought I helped but obviously not. I wished to make you happy...to feel good about yourself. To make you believe you were special and you meant something...because...well you meant everything to me and I did what I could to show you that but it's apparent I just failed. As I fail at everything...I guess I can't even be a friend. Because when you said...the new friend...this person whom you only just met--while we've been friends for years-- but this person... oh yes must be so “different” because as you said....is the only one to make you feel happy. The only one to make you feel worth something...makes you feel special. Makes you feel like you matter...the only one to have helped you realize you make a difference....
I guess I was just never good enough. I tried and tried but it just wasn't enough and now slowly it's unraveled just how meaningless...how torturous...this all is. Because I hear from you less...and less. I get short responses. It takes nearly and army of message to get a reply...and then...it's hardly a reply. 
I'm just sorry...I couldn't have been any better than I am. I'm sorry that I never made you feel good about yourself...or happy or anything. I'm just sorry I was never the best of a friend. Because...believe me...I did try. But I guess I just wasn't good enough. Never good enough. So...I'll just move back and idly sit in the shadows lost with time...because I obviously have no meaning in your life....after all...you were never happy....until the new friend came along.... But nevertheless...you still mean everything to me....you have always made a difference in my life and even now as I watch, through tear filled eyes, the words you send me make a huge difference still....a difference I never thought would happen but...still a difference...and the difference is....I was never anything to you and you were always everything to me. And that, my friend, is a difference. And always will be. But I hope...that you'll always stay happy...as that's all I ever wanted for you....


Details | I do not know? | |

PAIN OF THE PAST

As i close my eyes,
and the pain of the past starts to flash 
back in my mind
I try to put it aside, 
but don't matter  how hard i try 
i cant  take way this way i feel inside.
  ITS  like, sit in my room writing my
tune  an the  past starts to flash back  in my 
mind.
i just cant  help my , self 
but to sit an cry,this pain hurts so bad in side.


Details | Rhyme | |

Experiencing Cloud Seven

You make me feel so complete	 
You brought me up to my feet	 
You make me experience cloud seven 	
You brought me to your heaven 

Your words implant seeds of growth
Your eyes, an undying oath
You quench me with serpentine poetry  
You gave in to gravity 

You melted my heart of ice 
I’m your living sacrifice 
You watched over me with glistening eyes  
Your warmth never screams goodbyes   


Details | Lyric | |

Mask

I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
My whole world just spins round and round.
I put it behind me, but it comes back and bites me.
I'm fallin down,yet my past just haunts me.
Memories are burned in my head,
I dont want to remember this,... again.
I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Pardon my Insanity

I don’t want freedom. Forgive me for sounding paranoid or crazy.
But this man used me. After knowing my history of pain. 
Now I see why people kill the victims and themselves.
Doing away with all evil its emancipation. 
At my wits end. Where sanity has eaten away my brains.
Where my soul has no resting place. And tears are like acid.
That burns through my cheeks. Pardon my insanity.
For I have fallen too many times. Where getting up is just powerless.
My heart is caged. All the impact and friction it took, For years.
And still it beats. Keeping me alive to face another brutal blow.
Pain so severe. No medicine or words of encouragement
Can put me at peace. Love is inadmissible here.
For I am deceased .

01/17/13

 


Details | Free verse | |

Flying High In The Aqua-Blue Sky

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I see a black and white checkered kite…
floating higher and higher than I, myself…
But, I was shoved 
Into another shelf…

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
2 birds were flying together in harmony… it made me smile 
If only…I could fly another mile…
If only…I could higher my smile…
If only…I could fly higher
If only…I could taste ecstasy…
people would accuse me as a liar
If I experienced the best day of my life…

But, I don’t wanna live with undying strife…
I want peace…
Hand it over, please…
Hand me the keys
So I could experience perpetual peace 

I took flight like those bird couples…
But, I was on an airplane…

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I wouldn’t be greedy for gain…
I’m trying to act sane…
But, I’m actually insane
In many ways…I love my uniqueness…
And my stubbornness… and my gladness…
And my madness… my imagination goes wild
But, I need to put it on a leash…so I could remain mild

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I’d feel the rain
Trickle down my hands…my wet, wrinkly hands

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
No one would understand
How awesome and wonderful I’ve felt that day…
Up there…
up there…I felt like a king…
But, now I lost that memory…I lost my ring
To success…but I’m willing to pick up my progress…
My pace…is slow like a snail’s pace
Do you see me crying? Just look at my face…

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I’m the clouds absorbing tears

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I’d be willing to release them…

but they’ve been stored up forever it seems
And…hell – I have been 
Shaking with fear…
Breaking by the seams 

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I was……..
Daydreaming again…
My mind was stuck on cloud 7…
Thank heavens
That I’m still alive – staring into space
Just look at my sopping face…

I see no grace…I see only a pathetic face
In the mirror…….

This little dream of mine
Was rather sublime
I was a sweet boy, 
but now I’m sour like lime


If I were a bird, 
I'd fly away from my problems...

I'll flutter away
Without a care in the world...

I want to be happy-go-lucky...
But, I'm bound to submit to my 

Misery.............................


Details | Free verse | |

Flat Canvas

Flat canvas;

Bubbling brown ridges strike 
The confining dimensions in a hostile yawn: 
Upwards, Outwards.

Walk the world no longer, an ending beckons, 
A precipice builds moments where swallows wager wings 
On new seed: New breeds.
Falling buys the assurance of seconds
From a sinking well. 
Oh well.

Remember us when the globe begins to slip,
Bang drums for our pity:
Our crescendos mean less than meaningless.
And then, when spheres crack, continue 
On the whorl of a thumb, 
Stretching hope to nothing.
Run.


Details | Acrostic | |

Rest InPeace Regan

Rest in peace my charming friend; lo your body is now asleep but you spirit remains with us always. With our constant lively action, everything seems much more still without you here, but we shall remember and cherish you as you were-fun loving and full of life. You lit up the world around you just a little bit more with your perky attitude and bright smile.
Evening twinkles a little bit brighter with a newly gained star. A special one-of-a-kind treasure with your light of burning passion smiling down upon us as you await our arrival
Softly we hum to your memory; as we blissfully play back in our minds all the times we had with you.
Time was cruel, taking you at early twenty-one years, but we took what we could-what we were given and made the best of everything we had. Cherishing every moment and enjoying you and your hilarious antics

Invaluable you were to everyone who met you and knew you. You were an amazing person and wonderful friend who always stood by everyone’s side and helped those who needed it. Knowing how full of life you always were, it’s hard to believe that you are now parted from this life. I still see you with that glorious smile upon your face filling your eyes with a deviously mischievous twinkle…
Never did I imagine I’d be having to say my final farewell so soon; the way you were burns in my mind as I whisper my love and goodbyes to you one last time...

P
E
A
C
E

Rest in sweet peace my dear friend; never will you ever be forgotten- Forever engrained in our minds your legacy will continue one for years to come…
Early morning reality strikes its cold, hard chord as sudden sadness as despair finally sinks in… you have been removed from this broken world where we mourn your loss; the pain hitting each person deeper than the one previous
Goodbye my adventurous dream, the spark of memories hold together the shattering pieces of my cracked heart that sorrow threatens to crush in the grips of its mighty claws tightly surrounding my aching, bleeding heart…
Angels rejoice as they gather you in hugs and welcome your coming, leading you to your place beside our lord, residing with him as you patiently await the rest of us to join you
Nostalgically I smile and watch as you fade into my dreams; I will never forget you my friend, remember me as we wait to see each other once more…

----
R.I.P
Regan Steel; friend, brother, and more...
October 28, 1991- July 15, 2013


Details | Free verse | |

Skin Deep

Achilles' heel 
You’re another day older
The world’s much colder
She…

It’s not your fault
They were taken 
Don’t blame yourself 
for God’s mistake
Is…

Her beauty reflects your own
Her life reflects your future
Chasing rabbits will get you there faster
Loss of faith will bring you there faster
Watching…

The ball drops
It’s clever to see
What happens to us
And here we are
Waiting…

Yes, 
Take the evil out of this
You’re stronger
She’s stronger and always,
Loving…


Details | Rhyme royal | |

ALONE IN THE DARK

I am holding back-against time wishes,
Lurking at a corner, as I forbid the slayer to find me
My heart beats and screech like a choking-engine,
Whilst the snarly sinister hunts - wishes me burnt to ashes
I dare thought to be a bee - 
So tiny I could fly and disappear from the scene.
But so lame a thought like that can help a soul.
The frightening night wants me feed to the ghoul.
Hidden – I have stayed long, linger I can no more.
I’m all alone in the dark, bruised and with a leg sore.
Escaping is impossible!


Details | Canzone | |

LIVING PUPPETS

i once met a young aspiring poet

whose love for the art had drove

him passionately insane with the colour silver.

i met him on a street rampage shouting out his

emancipating parable of shiny silver rings

sparkling with a deep red hue ,oddly spoiling in rust from blood thirst

and out in the clear ,in concealment of human ignorance

a sinister nemesis slowly weaves his hate into ropes,

his hands of fate to stir our minds his path.

thus the pain of the living

the pain is living .


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | I do not know? | |

Another Untitled

Life is so confusing, 
So tired of the hurting, 
So sick of the abusing, 
I so just feel like crying,
I wish that I could just,
End the pain and sorrow,
There's no one I can trust, 
And it won't get better tomorrow, 
I just don't understand why,
Though my life's been only bad, 
I always have to try, 
And I can never be mad, 
Everybody's hurt me, 
In one way or another, 
But I guess that I should see, 
That this pain will last forever, 
But still I must go on, 
Even though I do not want to, 
And I have to be strong, 
Even though I wish it were through!


Details | Haiku | |

Tears and Rain

Drops of rain dripping
Flowing down my sullen face
Blending with my tears

Sweet and salty taste
Drops of rain and tears mingled
Assaulting my lips

With my eyes half closed
I let the tears and the rain
Wash me of my pain


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Rhyme | |

Flawless Wish

Written by D. W. Breidenthal 


You take my breath away

I wanna stay in this entrancing paradise
I want all of the negativity to fade away 
The darkness isn’t my property…I despise
Living a life that’s filled with misperception and disaster 

I would love to live in the ocean’s ecstasy 
That would be spectacular if we can abide in the sparkly sea

This eccentric dilemma makes your angelic features too unclear 
It chills me to the bone…
My heart pounds with hope and fear… when will peace draw near
This flawless wish remains unknown

The night’s approaching…seek shelter and light
Painstaking regrets – I can’t back away from gravity’s pull 
Hand me the rope and don’t bestow your burdens upon my soul 
Sift away the misfortune and allow me to put up with the fight
Help me fulfill my flawless wish
And I’ll strip away your anguish

You’re a burning candle
I raise my head up from the mud
I step forward with courage that I couldn’t handle 
On my own, but you stripped away the agony 
Watch us grow and sprout as one flower bud!

You took my heart to a wonderful place
I wanna desert this decaying body of mine and seek you in splendid light
You forgave me for my wrongs…you thrilled me with praise 
I wanna embrace the dawn’s incredible, appealing light...
Sweeping away the deploring night  

It soothes my sensitive heart…dismissing my vexing misery  

I have the urge to repaint the breathtaking memories I’ve spent with you
Will it scratch away the sorrow?
I have to search for shelter and burn away our calamity – slaying us with rue
 
Will my flawless wish store hope for tomorrow? 


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Go

Let Me Go!
I don't want this anymore!
I can't go to sleep at night,
all I seem to do is write.

Sometimes I read...
I read until I finish.
When I finally go to sleep,
I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Oh gosh,
I can't handle this anymore.
I am going crazy here
and no one seems to notice it, my dear.

I cry myself to sleep.
telling myself everything will get better.
BUT IT DOESN'T!
And I know I mustn't

but I want that knife
just as much as I want that gun
I hate this world
and everything about this girl

She sings and tries to get attention
yet no one gives her the time of day.
She falls into the books she reads
no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads.

This girl is me,
oh but you knew, right?
Since all I ever talk about is me!
Gosh, can't you see?

I'm my enemy!
I'm my own nightmare!
No one is hurting me!
It is me who shouldn't be let free!

Lock me up! 
Kill me!
That way I won't harm myself...
I'd like it if it was someone else

Please, do me the favor
and let me go
for no one can save this girl
from this cruel world.


Details | Senryu | |

The Kids of Divorce

Mom and Dad divorce; the kids are damaged for life; but some are relieved.


Details | Verse | |

Dear my heart

Where is your home, my heart?
Why are you silent?
We went through many things.
We were living life.
We lost the last that we have gotten
But still there is no end.

You are confused, my heart.
I feel it.
There are so many roads which
Lie before but only God
Does know which one will lead to
Paradise, and which one straight to hell.

Where is your home, my heart?
I’d love to know where to go.
Who is for us?
Who will protect us?
Who will help to find the way?

We forgave so many people, heart.
So many things we left undone.
We split into the pieces our vision.
The life that is unclear we gave up.

You are not broken, heart.
You are not tired.
I feel you beat still in my chest
But why all the time are you so silent?
Why are you so afraid?


Details | Limerick | |

death is good

oh give me a rope
with a noose that is loose 
and i'll tie it up on a beam

then give me a pill
that will give me a thrill 
and i'll end it all on a high

Death Death is the way 
for life is to sucky to play

so give me a gun
that is loaded for fun
and i'll blow my brains far away


Details | Concrete | |

Not really there at all

You used to say that what you did was to protect me. You use to act like you were the best damn person in the world. I used to want to be just like you. But now all i want to do is run away. I dont want to be like you. Instead of protecting me, You destory me, you broke me, and then you stomped me all over the ground. You make me wanna be a monster from all the pain you caused in my life. You lied from the start. You hurt me so bad that i cant even watch those simple father daughter movies young girls love. You have drained the emotion from me to a level that i will no longer allow myself to feel, but you know what dad its time to say good bye from you. All you are is a PAIN that tore me in pieces because of all the lies, the pain, the scars. just go. thats what i want.


Details | Ballade | |

In defense of the chook



The chook defense

Now I’m no vegetarian
Though I’d like that this could be
At seventy I’ll never change
So I’m just stuck with me
And I really love’s me chook
In every kind of way
But now I’m in the mood I’m in
I just have this to say…..

If we’re going to eat these chooks
Don’t we owe them some respect
We treat them like commodities
But what I might reflect
Is, if we treat these creatures thus
That God placed on this earth
Then we neglect our very souls
And too our own self worth.

Those birds are treated so damn mean
How can one understand
This cruelty, are we then humane?
It don’t look too damn grand
And where’s the goodness in a food
That’s never seen the sun
So when we treat these birds like this
What damage have we done?

That chicken flue was scary, once
But who knows much at all
About the karma that can come
From things, unnatural.
It’s time for changes in this world
When dosh is not the ‘all’
And then humane might be a word
That’s truly wonderful

10 July 2013 @ 1301hrs.



Details | Light Poetry | |

Cough Drops And Applesauce

Cough Drops and applesauce 
Is what the doctor gave to me 
I don't mean to complain 
But in my side 
I feel a great big pain 
And doctors orders I'll oblige
 It is bad enough 
Every day is getting tough 
And now I am just out of luck 
Stuck with nothing but a cough 

It's been driving me insane 
Living here in all this pain 
It has made my life a very hard thing 
I really don't want to complain 
But I've been left out in the pouring rain 
And tomorrow is another day 
Same to come, same old way  


Details | Rhyme | |

If I die before I wake

As I die he will be with me,
I fell in love he had the key,
And always knelt on one knee.

My last thoughts are of him, 
As the lights go dim,
Life circling on a rim.

All at once we are apart,
The taste is so tart,
It all hits me in the heart.

You are left to live,
My heart your captive,
There is nothing to forgive.

My cheeks blush so shy,
With a tear in my eye,
As I start to die.

Fear not for I am well,
As many up here can tell,
It is not quite hell.

As I look from above,
kissing the forehead of my love,
I wonder what he dreams of.

I look at him so fondly,
his lips curve so grandly,
as he sleeps so soundly.

I'm like a hummingbird fluttering over his bed,
I wish to be with him but I am dead,
My life over and has fled.

I fear for my love for he is kind,
Strong handsome and well lined,
But now I leave him way behind.

Finding love is like a quiz,
Never knowing what it is,
He needs love from a heart as strong as his.


Details | Ballade | |

Guilt and hurt

Guilt and hurt

I’ve heard folk speak of hurting
And I’ve had my share of this
I’ve had my share of loving
I’ve had my share of bliss
But me, I know for sure, my friends
That the grossest of all things
{The mother of the monster clan}
That life can to you bring….

Is guilt, I say without a doubt
It’s the deepest kind of pain
Hurt gets nicely tucked away
But you can try in vain
To remove the guilt that you’ve accrued
It’s like a red hot knife
Just when you think it’s gone away
It’s there to give you strife.

I have suffered deep, deep hurt
That’s suffocated me
But guilt just like a mountain
That over towers the trees
He over towers all life’s pain
And reaches to the sky
No matter how you charge at him
That beast will never die.

25 July 2013 @ 1207hrs.


Details | I do not know? | |

Now your gone

I still cant believe how you were taken from me
since your life sliped away, all I do is pray
god please, give him back to me.

Its so lonely and sad
since you've been gone, the pain has got me bad
and all I do is cry
asking god why it was your time.

I feel as if I've let you down
and I'm covered by this big cloud
Raining on me everyday
Reminding me of the pain of you going away

There are things left un said
Your Christmas gift is still sitting under my bed
left, un opened un touched
I remember telling you, its something you would love.

now all I can say is
I love you and miss you
I wish I could still hold you and kiss you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Good Morning, Apocalypse Now : A Tribute to a Vietnam Veteran

Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)

My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he 
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast 
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now. 

Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier. 

Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet. 
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid. 

He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil, 
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.

When he speaks a calm 
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and 
bravery and how 
he continually fights against 
the "Apocalypse Now".


Details | Romanticism | |

Betrayal

Love is betrayal
A knife in the heart.
A stone that breaks my bones
Love is betrayal,
that lies to you about dreams of care and kindness,
but stabs you in the back
with disloyality
when you are not looking.

Is it possible for a writer to face so much heartbreak?
Is it possible to be faced with so much pain,
that if I had a penny for every time I'd had my heartbroken
I'd be a millionaire five times over.
It is true,
I am not lying to you;
why should I?

Love is betrayal
I can't take the pain anymore
to feel such pain, I'd rather whether just ask the Gods
to strike me down with painless and peaceful death,
and sleep as the faceless faces come and place lilacs
and roses upon my chamber of the dead.
What killed this lonesome writer, who loved everyone,
but was showed no love before?
I heard he died of a broken heart,
and that was what it was... A broken heart.

Love is betrayal,
trust me
for I cannot waste a single moment more
feeling this pain deep in my heart
that tears at my soul and heart with shapened talons.
Keep sleeping, with your eyes so blind,
can't you see what you are doing to me?
If you'd feel my pain, you'd sit down with me and weap.
It is easy to read these wordless words, that probably have no meaning to you.
To me this is poetry that sings songs of sorrow,
that fuses my heart together and plays songs of saddness
as I sit in a lonesome cell, praying for betrayal to leave,
leaving not a single trace of its existence.

Love is betrayal,
a knife stabbed deep in the heart.
A stone that is thrown at my mirror of transperanecy.
Can you see the pain that love has given me?
I was brought up to believe love is a magical thing,
a true feeling that makes you think diffrently about strangers.
Strangers are strange, with blind eyes
they cannot see what they do too me,
when they blindly stab away at my heart with their heated blades.

Love is a betrayal
that goes behind your back
and laughs at your sorrowed soul,
and as you turn to them all, they come all with smiles and hugs.
Once I turn again they laugh again,
and take their blade and stabs me in the back.
And I cry, but no one stops and listens,
No one cares, truely cares for my sorrow.
So, I wipe away my tears
remove the knives from my heart,
and I walk down the lonesome boulevards
Listening to the sorrow cries of lovers kissing on park benches.
Then I slowly awake from this dream,
but I cannot, for this dream is not in a surrealist piece of work,
for it is realism at its best.

Love is betrayal... love


Details | Haiku | |

a relived stroll

a relived stroll down a creaky wooden walk… screams of hatred
Russell Sivey


Details | Lyric | |

End It

End It
By: IzaDonna

My demons crouch real low
Seeping out of me real slow
The pain protectively covered
Darkening memories like no other
But I hide behind a smile
This life not seeming worth while
The blade I have is ready to go
Life already being at an all time low
So bring on the darkness
i no longer have a purpose

Chorus
I push you away to protect you
My sickness n pain being nothing new
So save yourself from my sorrow
Cause I won't live to see tomorrow
You deserve someone better
So let me be and go find her

Loneliness is my own choice
Feeling so lost with no voice
So I let each day slip by
Everyday just wanting to die
What have I become
Where did all this pain come from
Being left alone is my desire
The spark going out in my fire
My days I feel are at an end
Too far gone to possibly mend

Chorus

So bring on the darkness
I've lost my purpose


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The crying girl

A little girl's heard crying 
In her room at Mary kings close
Not everyone hears, only a few
If you listen carefully
You may hear her to
Let's call her little Annie
As no one knows her name
People leave her presents
To try and ease her pain
Pustules on her face they weep
Her body red and sore 
She prays each night the pain to stop
She can't take it any more
The pain it keeps her crying
At night it hurts the most
In 1645 Annie died of the plague
And what we hear now is her ghost


Details | Free verse | |

Look Around You

Look around you
The world is already at an end
When the Mayans said that the world was going to end
They didn't mean a world destroyed by flare, quake, or salvation
But rather a world full of broken relation
That possibly, it wasn't a literal interpretation
But a figurative analysis of this falling nation
Are we not all the same people, the same human
But we'd rather live a life divided
A life divided by the color of our skin  
What is war but greed to keep the amount of money left for our kin
Life is no longer cherished
The earth used for our own experiments until its resources perished
Genocide, assassinations, and murder supported for a "better cause"
Who are we to judge the abominations of others when there is flaw in our own laws
We continue to redefine what is socially accepted
Making a gateway for divorce, abortion, and legal prostitution
Rather than fixing what has been so psychologically rooted into the minds of this generation
We look to cover up past mistakes with a newly corrupted translation  
Girls look for sex because of a lack of love from their fathers
Society tells boys to make use of this advantage 
Treat girls as objects rather than human beings with emotions
And we later ask ourselves
How did these boys and girls ever become such bad parents
Our government shouts democracy
But isn't that really just a cover up to keep us appeased
It's most convenient when the majority stays quiet 
Because only those in power can say that this earth's a heaven
To the majority, this earth is already a hell
The human race is so arrogant
Believing that they are the most superior in this world
That they can live without the mercy of God who should be in control
Look around you
The world is already at an end


Details | Free verse | |

An Agnostic Acrostic

 "this poem is not about what is written,but what is not written. . . " 
Greyer looms matter's of the.....? 					 
Beauty fades not there then.....?				          
Flowers live and die fact of ....?					    
A four letter word of endearment....?					    
A saddened stare like where the Red Fern.....? 				    
Do not withdraw from the sunlight given by the almighty...?                                       
The feeling active of letters four much like adores.....?                                              
Speaking in second person sounds like and is...?      			   
In the prelude I allude to this message to point to the truth 		                
You cannot see air but it is there so beware   			                
You do not have to walk into the total darkness  				   
to see how dark the blackness is                      				 
Like gravity that holds you there how much more our Creator cares 	             
Setting on shelf scoffing at the pain you do not see      		                
The love that is and can be He just wants to set you free                                      
ignorance of the law does not excuse
How deep the pain how dark is that blue                                                                   
without Hope without God waiting to play the odds                                              
Without knowledge must be total misery                                                                      
as earthly beauty fades as the tree                                                                              
a dieing thing without fruit                                                                                           
the growing sorrow does that suit                                                                              
without hope of new life tomorrow                                                                             
Here today and gone so to borrow                                                                               
Not opening a door can be as bad as slamming it in your face                                   
to see where true beauty is you run in place not seeing the grace                        
turn to the light dwelling in the dusk from the womb to dust                                    
on your pedestal under your own glass                                                                        
the fire that was given you smother to ash  - john edaward beam - for The 
Unwritten contest - 07/01/2011


Details | Lyric | |

Thank you

Thank you for a good lesson,
For the times when you left me alone,
For all my sleepless nights in your house,
For the love that wasn't true,
For the smiles that never warmed me up,
For the looks that never made me stay,
For the realizing that there was nothing
To fight for.

Thank you for your promises that
You have broken in time,
For the words that were ugly,
For the comments that did hurt,
For your screamings, putting me
To work for never saying me
This simple “Thank you!”
Because I thank you.


Details | Free verse | |

HATE ME NOW

Hate me now when you can still find your way back home
Hate me now to see what is good for you
Hate me now when your view of me is not what you see
Hate me now in the morning for your meaningful afternoon
Hate me now in this sunny noon so I can melt with the sun set
Hate me now before the crack of dawn for your redefinition
Hate me now for what I didn’t do for you
Hate you now for all the things u didn’t do for me
Hate you now when I can also find myself another home
Hate you now for all the promises you never live up to
Hate you now for I see the sun shines again for me
Hate us together for all the thing we didn’t achieved


Details | Rhyme | |

The worst morning after

The worst morning after


One bottle and half of brandy gone
And my, how I did carry on
The morning after, goodness me!
I was a just heap of misery

The wife, she left me in the car
I think she thought I'd gone too far!!
She really had no sympathy
And made me clean up after me

My head was twirling round and round
Oh, what Karma I had found
My neck, my head, my everything
Oh what pain this morn did bring

For two whole days this lasted for
I said I’d never drink no more
That was so many years ago
And drinking booze is still a  'no!!’.

19 July 2013 @ 0450hrs.


Details | Elegy | |

A dirge for Dimgba Igwe

The rooster dares to crow
as the reaper reaps and sows
tender souls of human life
upon this earth full of strife

Before the breaking of dawn
when void shadows lie to fawn
a righteous seed will stand a price
denying this cock from crowing thrice

The sick sickle that reaps this seed
shall live before our Sun to bleed
as spored seeds do solemnly fall
awaiting the suns righteous call

Though these words may hit and run
leaving a mangled poetry as fun
the Sun approaches vengeful and bright
bringing all our hidden works to open light

Adieu Dimgba Igwe our voiced seed
your bloods wailing call, angels shall heed


Details | Lyric | |

Dard

"Badi Tassalli Se Toda Tha Tumne hamara Dil.
Hum Aaj Bhi Mohabbat Nahi Kar Paaye."


Details | Free verse | |

Scars of an Inner Child

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
 Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love


Details | Free verse | |

Loss

Searing pain rips through my chest,
As I slip on the painted green stairs, 
Running from something I’m not sure
Too afraid to stop, to turn my head.

My heart races, my head throbbing,
If I could just take a deep breath,
To cleanse my soul and refresh,
Where is this dark building I’m in.

Lying in warmth I move my hand,
Red covers me, flowing down the steps,
A peaceful calm envelopes as I view
My Dad with open arms waiting for me.

He is standing now, out of his wheelchair,
Smiling with his crooked grin so sweet,
The pain ebbs and happiness grows
Then I wake again to the dark emptiness.



Written September 23, 2012
For Francine Robert’s contest
“In Dreams”



Details | Light Poetry | |

Love Mistress

An imported imperfection of his delayed conclusion of opinions leaves me restless.
I know I may not be the prettiest, I know my body may not be the fittest.
However, my heart remains the same, his love pumps blood into my veins.
As I start losing mental ability to my brain bleeding heavy quantities, my heart start hemorrhaging.
Blood vessels begin tearing up from my emotions, my eyes swelling.
His words burn like melting plastic, nonmetallic his compassion is synthetic, as lovers turn platonic.
It is hard to comprehend his love presence, when there are no immediate surroundings of his love emotions.
His actions are making me feel less of a woman, and very unwanted.
His presentation makes me hesitant, from the way his love is presented.
He is evil and ever so gentle, but he says he loves me.
He does not understand what his action does to my inner emotions.
Wretched in sadness marked by misery, embedded in love poverty he does not care how this affects me.
This is his way he shows his love for me.
Marinating in promises I get his love like an allowance.
He says that one day I will be his wife, so I stay in hopes of his change.
Again, he tells me he trying so who am I to complain.
A mistress of his love I became, I will not be ashamed for his love I pertain.
His love I can relate to, his pain I persecute and oppress as he overall abuse.
Pharmaceutical kind of love overdosing as a drug, I am his side effect I learned to suppress hold my emotions back. Like if, his words caress.
As I stroke his ego, I become humble. My pain is a ritual I know the procedure.
Mistress of his love I remain even longer, and I linger.


Details | Free verse | |

My cobain smile

I want to drown my urge to die
I want to kill my pulse inside
I can't breathe, I'm paranoid
Everything in life I avoid

Don't speak to me, I'll look away
Inside my eyes is just decay
 I'm already dead, but have yet to die
Why do I keep my body alive

My soul is dead, eyes are lies
So is the smile I hide behind
Pull the plug, I'm a fake
In a nightmare and I cannot wake

Drown me! I'm flooded in pain
Please help me regain
Some peace, some rest 
I want to die to live again

Set me free 
Slitting my wrists isn't working
The more stares I get
The more I become numb
I just need to be gone
Eliminate my pain, 
I'm already out of breath 
Suffocating on my hopelessness

Every day I am alive 
But I'm craving to die inside
Curved smile because your so naive
You think I'm happy 
Yet I'm being crushed
My head is overflowing 
With these thoughts that are too much

One word, suicide
Sparks a light inside of my eyes

I don't want to pretend to live
Let me go, flood me in sin
There is where I want to swim
Six feet under the ground

Don't be selfish 
And keep me in pain
To tourture my lifeless body again
Let my body float soundly
Rushing water, ocean salt
I promise I won't feel it at all.

End it, hold me under 
Then bury me so I can slumber
Goodbye lifeless eyes
As I'm dying I'll be coming alive
Haunting images 
Deleted from my mind
Laughing 
As I leave this world behind

Water 
Floods my lungs 
Death 
Leans in for a kiss

Together we sink into insanity
And drown in infinitys abyss. 


Details | Romanticism | |

Nothing I Can Do

There's this one girl I love I'm really missing
Hour by hour, and every second too
Remembering nights of lakeside kissing
But There's Nothing I Can Do

She was everything to me
A cool winter's breeze...
A warm summer's shore...
But oh how the time really flew
When she'd come knocking on my door
Now there's Nothing I Can Do

And while the days continue drifting past
My love for her still lasts
So I'll send it everyday to my love, just for you
Because there's really nothing more
There's nothing else
There's Nothing I Can Do


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Too Young To Be So Old

Too young to be so old,a child of five,
Yet a man so old, a childhood gone.
I hear his pain in his dreams at night.

I feel his fear in the tears upon his cheeks,
When he reaches for the love that isn,t there.
I feel the emptiness in his embrace.

He holds inside a pain so very deep,
A fear so strong no one can reach.
His eyes have seen,his body felt,

More in life that many adults.
How does he face the things that hide inside?
Where does he turn when the tears come down?

Left behind at a tender age to face the questions mommy made,
When she chose to leave him behind and not to hold him tight.
I have heard him say," If I had been better,

Maybe she would have loved me and stayed,"
He watched her beaten,watched her cry.
The choice she made was to pass him by.

He bottles the pain so deep inside,
Many a night I held him tight,
When the darkness came and took his light.

One day he will see just how much it hurts,
When Poppa and I can't fix what hurts inside.
As I look back and recall the tears that came,

When to us the question came," Do we have to go back to her?
There was nothing we could do ,but take them home
We must hold the tears and pain inside.

He was much too young to be so old.


Details | I do not know? | |

Wrong Hands

Gun in nightstand
Drawer slowly opened
Homeowners demise


Details | Rhyme | |

Broken Heart Warfare

So full of hurt
Heart Stomped in the dirt
But I'll get up
I'll brush off my skirt

Paste a smile on my face
Get back in the race

My fake laugh I'll embrace
While so alone in this place
I'll fake my sweet grace
Tie my hair up in lace

Hope no one will care 
To see past my fake stare
Because I can not bare
To explain my despair 

No I don't need your prayer
Nor your disapproving glare

My sadness will wear
Life's just so unfair
Breaking dear hearts
Like illegal warfare

While my insides repair
I'll just brush this long hair
Fake smile blank stare

Should pull me through
This broken heart warfare.

<3 Kaleelynn


Details | Lyric | |

Bruises

Bruises
By: IzaDonna

Surrounded by darkness
Emotions hidden away
Bruises disguised with smiles
Never would think it
That my past still haunts me
The scars still completely cover me
I hide them so you can't see
I'm really not at all okay

Chorus
The bottles eases the pain
The dust numbs the ache
Can I ever just forgive?
Instead up building up this hate
I just want to find peace
I want my smile to be real
But its hard to do so
When I can no longer seem to feel

Frightening dreams keep me awake
Forever replaying in my mind
Life seems to be so much longer
This winding road so much harder
Can I just get a release
Beat these inner demons and be free
Or do I have to be forever cursed
With the ghosts of the past

Chorus

I look up at the stars
And close my eyes tight
Its time for last good-byes
Its time to end this tonight
I take one last chug
And fall to the ground
Take one last gasp
And then no longer make a sound

Chorus

I'm finally okay


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Rat Race

As a child, I had much to do
Crushed it, when I tried to grew
Participant of the Rat Race, I am
Suddenly everything was scattered away

Now when I try to think of you
And calculate what went wrong
Where was my mind that day?
Why everything went so wrong?

After endless struggle, when I dream
Those equations , cry and scream
My demand curve went wrong way
And that was the end of everything 

The sweet little Tom & Jerry
still playing with no worries
Then my mind cries and says
those days are so far away

Every-time when I think of it
I think as I'm a liar and cheat
After this endless bargaining 
Life ends here.... Screaming


Details | Rhyme | |

Relapse

I look into your eyes and I fall into you.
Wonder if I'm dreaming, is this really true?
Pleasure at it's finest, you're my addiction.
Perfection in its finest depiction.
Constriction, you leave me without breath.
Everything fades far out of existence, I go deaf.
You're my drug, my one and only high.
Impossible for me to ever say goodbye,
But you left me like a thief in the night.
And here I am now falling from the steepest of heights,
Trying to figure out what went wrong as I descend.
Did it mean anything or was it all just pretend?
Life has dealt me a sobering blow.
No longer are we the headliners of the show.
Life has robbed me of my prestige and has left me to rot,
Although time goes on and life gets better as I trot.
But then I see your face and the pain hits instantly,
Like a thousand bricks falling on top of me.
Don't know if this pain will ever leave me,
Relapse, forever a part of my destiny.


Details | Free verse | |

A Blue Boy's Death Wish

A fragile mind breaks 
Wake upon the rock laden shores
A muffled heart begs to echo
Whispers lost among a velvet chamber

Dusk comes premature time and again
Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise
If you never witness dawn
There is no tomorrow

Always the dreamer aches
Never awake to make real what he desires
The restless corpse walks blind
Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind

Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines
Love is the motive and the weapon
Taking root in throats dry from weeping
Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles
A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive
The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching
A plea for rest lands on deaf ears

The hollow boy tires of himself
The last request he will ever make
"End me"
Lost and tired
He wishes to be weak no more


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 3-

My eyes
Witness your departure
My eyes
Are dripping with hopelessness…
My eyes start to blur…
Melancholy put me under pressure…
Is there a cure to my disease? 

You don’t see
The shards of hope that once brought us back together
Just let me search for safety
I’m strong enough to realize that I’m no longer
The weakest prey out there…

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me whimpering like a distraught puppy left on the train tracks?

I’m close to my demise…save me and take me home

Nourish me…and be my beloved friend

Will this friendship last forever?

Hopefully it has no end

Will this cheerful moment help us get along with each other?

Because of you…I feel the need to run 
I keep an eye on you – I worry that you’ll hurt yourself again
Because of you…My freedom is nearly gone
I don’t wanna be caught off guard again
Because of you…EYE can’t picture a solution for our vexing dilemma 
Because of you…eye can’t focus on my long-term goal 

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you sense that I’m giving in to failure? 
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…I can’t endure 
The hardships that you place upon me…
Could you boost up my confidence to overcome 
My atrocious anxiety? 

I’m just waiting for some sun
To keep me in good hands…
To strengthen me with perseverance …
I’m just waiting until His son
Leads the world outtah Egypt and reveals to us…
His radiance…His dazzling Kingdom – 
Vibrant with glee

Your undying sympathy dawns upon us
I’m overflowing with indescribable joy  
You’re a candle in the night…
We meet eye to eye…
What a sight…what a precious sight


Details | Free verse | |

Braid Hairs

Why are you so devilishly addicting?
I come back from you,
It looks like I'm on drugs:
High and drunk,
Out of my mind.
The demons inside us braid hairs
Until we're peaceful meadows apart,
Nuclear wars together.


Details | I do not know? | |

You and I



You and I.


You.

Your heart blazed,
with a warmth of spirit,

soothing,

alluring,

soaked in truth.



Your smile burned,
branding me permanently,

gentle,

tender,

enveloping my being.



Your love was complete,
from the depths of your soul,

unsaid,

yet fierce,

bathed in silent knowing.



Your dreams were poetic,
fluttering in the afternoon breeze,
infused with the distilled essence of rhyme.


I.

I squandered your generosity of spirit.

I vainly discarded your priceless poems.


Now I stand,

alone,

empty,

desolate,

wasting away,

rotting inside, day by day.




Details | Free verse | |

Songs of Sorrowed Hearts

What makes this world go around?
What makes Death walk the Earth
and God sit on his throne and watch over us?
What makes love go around with such favour
and strut along side lonesome avenues?
What does a widow, a motherless child, a Vietnam veteran
and a boy who has had his fare share of heartbreaks,
all have in common with each other?

They were all promised a beautiful life,
free for all to love, free from the pain of betrayal
and anger.
We are what make the world go around,
I am the poet who sits and looks at love walk down the street,
and watch the blind eyes stare deep in my soul.
I am the poet, that feels the pain of a heart torn in two.
He his the poet who writes of smiles, to forget the frowns
and tears.
She is the poetress that writes of her success,
in order to forget her past that tortured her soul,
now he and she walk together writing poetry
sharing their love and smiles with the world.
But with smiles, also comes frowns,
with hearts full of love, comes hearts full of sorrow,
and someone has to stay behind and write of the bad
has to write and compose the songs of the sorrowed hearts.

We are all given love,
but it takes some whole lives to understand
the dark mystery that tags along with beautiful love.
Someone has to suffer the pain,
someone has to sacrifice his or her happiness,
so another poet can feel the beauty in happiness and pain.
I am willing to sacrifice my time and heart,
for my fellow poet to feel the smiles grow on their faces
and feel love uplift their heart,
while the black cancer tears apart mine.
I will go on, with what is left of my heart and smile,
and go into my room of creativity
and compose the songs of sorrowed hearts
for future poets, like that came before me.


Details | Verse | |

You are ugly too

Talk behind my back,
Discuss my weakness,
Prove them all that
I'm the worst but
I'm still standing.
I don't mind what
You say to them.

Tell them the secrets that
I shared with you being trapped
Within naivety.
But I'm so glad I did.
I destroyed my weakness,
Transformed myself for now,
Became indifferent.

Keep being dishonest
When you talk to them,
Represent your lies that
You prepared.

I know how good it feels.
You know I'm not denying
Because you are ugly too.


Details | Ballad | |

My Forever Shining Star

All the oceans in the world 
Can’t hold the tears I’ve cried
Nothing in this world  
Can take away this pain inside

I can’t believe you’re gone from me 
I can’t believe its true
I never wanted memories
I only wanted you

I miss the little things you said
Those words that meant so much
I miss your eyes, your laugh, your smile
I miss your every touch

I miss you every morning
Every night and every day
I’d give all my tomorrows
For just one more yesterday

When they asked what words I want 
Engraved upon your stone
The only words that I could say
Were ‘darling please come home’

You were my every reason
My hopes and all my dreams
Someone to believe in
When I questioned what life means

Always there to guide me
My forever shining star
I’d give my all to have you here
Or be there where you are

In a world of changes
It’s the soul that never dies
In a world of strangers 
I still see me in your eyes

This pain will never go away 
My shattered heart wont mend
Lonely days and empty nights 
Are now my only friend

But if you’re looking down from up in Heaven 
You will see
That part of you forever more 
Will be a part of me...


By Raina Hutchins



Details | Rhyme | |

Blood and Tears

words can hurt
words can heal
no words can speak the pain you feel
just a child
I watched you die
forever haunted by your  cry
no mercy
no justice
for this life so bleak
no mercy 
no justice
for you could not speak
I watched the life drain out of you
just a child
what could I do?
I watched you bleed
I saw the tears
but humans think naught of your fears
my arms around you
I held you tight
the pain will stop
it will be allright
they pulled you from your mama on that sunny day
laughing at your screams
just as I came ot to play
the knife was sharp
but he did not cut deep
they left you to bleed
and us both to weep
a tear streamed down your frightened face
this memory I cannot erase
for a moment I wished I could take your place
I kept my arms around you
until your heart stopped beating
later I felt sick as I watched the monsters eating


Details | ABC | |

should i live or die

As a tear rolls down i dont make a sound 
i stay still i think what do i do
do i live do i die do i cry 
do i go on living this lie 
the lie i say all the time,that im okay , im fine, im happy 
but really in side im dieing 
every day i hear people say your ugly, your  weird, the rate on how pretty you are is 0 or 2, why dont you just die
life should be precous, should be fun but all it does is bring pain and sorrow 
im sitting here with a knife in my hand thinking what to do
do i keep feeling pain and cry every day 
do i stay and get called ugly and stupid and get treated like *****
or should i just end it now 
im allways getting teased and made fun of all the time 
maybe its time to end it all 
is life really worth living?


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

'911'

I flood my pillows with tears.
I cry myself to sleep.
Everyday I continue to wake up,
My soul grows a little more weak.

I understand that I am not perfect.
I punish myself when I am wrong.
But are my imperfections the cause of 
why,
I'm existing in this world alone.?

My heart is that of porcelain.
I create the illusion of it being made of 
steel.
I try to pretend that I am emotionless,
Because if I came to believe that, what 
pain could I feel.?

Every day I wish to be understood.
Or atleast have a voice that could be 
heard.
Every night I wish to gain my wings,
And fly away with the fragile white birds.

My mistakes are of the unordinary.
My faults could never be forgiven.
When you're living a life, being THE hell 
on Earth...
What's the point of even living.?

I'm that avalanche on the mountains.
I set fire to the rain.
I destroy the flawless paintings of your 
life,
Without you even knowing my name.

I'm the devils advocate.
His child against my own will.
In my heart, I want to create your smile.
But your happiness is what I'm designed 
to kill.

I try.
I try my hardest to be great.
I live with God in my heart.
But if I'm told that I am evil...
Worthless...
The smallest element of being holy...
Who do I believe.?
Where would I start.?

I'm confused with my existence.
I strive for a brighter future.
But when there's darkness lurking inside 
of me,
My spirit becomes in need of sutures.

I cut.
I bleed.
I want to feel the pain escape from inside 
of me.

It's a mental process.
In the end I'm only left with scars.
The pain has not escaped.
It's trapped in my heart, behind the bars.

I'm stuck, held captive in this jail.
It's my mindset, I call it home.
I want to feel alive... Be happy.!  Carefree.
But the way to live free, is to free these 
thoughts from my dome.

I beg for your forgiveness.
Let me love you.
Make you smile.
Be everything that you need.
(Silent Pause...)
Jerrika, how can you love someone else, 
when you don't even love me.?!

I wish I understood how to love you, 
Jerrika...
But you're to complex to comprehend.
Messed up that the being inside of you,
Doesn't even recognize you as a true 
friend.

So what do I do.?
I've strayed away.
Help me, Lord.!
I've been astray for quite some time.
If you asked me, there's no good left inside of me.
Why.?
Because I lost it all when I lost my mind.

9/11
Terrorist Attack Against Myself.
Someone please call 9-1-(Voice fades out...)





Details | Free verse | |

Impending Night

The impending night has fallen upon us
It woke with much persistence
Our hearts fled from its rage like a doe from a rifle
But the blast had already been made. . .

People fall like rain
The clouds are crestfallen with grief
And the darkness has no mercy 
Rain soaks...leaves an impact
The falls are devastating...

She was so strong, like a diamond she shined
Only to burn away and be one with the grime
I never saw her go
But the angry darkness of her essence—strangely glows...

He choked on his words, his memory
Like a child swallowing a pill
It is sticking in our throats
Against our will
And the dose ever grows. . . 
 
Who will stop the night?
You wicked thing how achingly stormy you have become!
Rich in your light as it smothers you whole
Leaving the rest to the droll sound of its toll

She burned
As they watched in angry happiness
The smoke of her spirits filling our hearts
No expressions...heavy depressions 
He was left to melt and rebuild

His wick ignites—burns are second nature
Though images are hard to swallow
She still talks to our souls
Her story still to be told
Like diamonds never found

A flame of hope hovers
We remain instilled in the rot
The darkness smothers
Its heavy slumber always waking


Details | Narrative | |

Erkallios

Erkallios
Arabic Poem by: Adnan Abu Andalus*
Translated into English by: 
Inaam Al-Hashimi (Gold_N_Silk) 
========================
No feather on his head
To escape hell
Erkallios
Was not a legendary hero of Rome
Nor a pirate with dreadlocks was he
 He was a soldier without a gun
 Guarding the land between the two grieves
 Conversing with himself
 And falls asleep with a whimper

Every night....
The Corporal gets down on his breath: 
“Get up it's time for your duty..
No matter how late you wake up
You will die!”
The sun generates the moment 
He begins to convey gunpowder
The storm spins 
The plane is hovering
Turns spirally
Explodes
And doomsday befell Erkallios!

The child died
The child, Erkallios, melted
 Between fire and iron
 Screaming as if the moment
 Splintered Mayday
 The sound returned disappointed
 He …died.. with .. his ... with his comrades!
The plane, a cemetery for forty
Is lying on the road
Black ....
Like a corpse of a dead whale
--------
Translated by Em. Prof. Inaam Al-Hashim
USA
*Adnan Abu Andalus is a poet from Iraq
“Erkallios” from his poetry collection  “The Smell of Doomsday”


Details | Free verse | |

Am I Still Forgiven

I did it again; I need forgiven.
Will He still forgive me even though I've fallen before?
I've fallen into these same sins countless times before;
I still haven't learned my lesson.
I am an ignorant hypocrite.
Am I still forgiven?


Details | Lyric | |

I'm All That's Keeping You Alive

Another a cappella song my friend and I made a long time ago...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish I can save you
But I can't even save myself
You beg me for mercy but mercy's empty inside
I'm Stronger Again
And you're giving in
To all of this pain that I am inflicting upon you
I am...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed
The death that waits for you
Lingering behind every door
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive

I wish I can spare you
Your voice faded slowly, now you can't breathe 
You beg me for mercy 
But darling I am empty
The life's dying out
And you're crying out 
To stop all this pain that I am inflicting upon you
I am...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed
The death that waits for you
Lingering behind every door
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive

Please remember:
I Still Love You
This isn't me but
Someone else...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed

The one who's there for you
The one who catches all your tears
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive






Details | Couplet | |

Le Vacance Pretentieuse: Darts

Drops of sweat slip from my furrowed brow
Eyes squint, select a number and let fly now

Miss again, a millimetre is a mile once more
Aimed for triple twenty, only got double four

The walk of shame, my oh so familiar friend
Silence broken, on alcohol I forever depend

The steel point of eyes bore into my neck
My opponent leaves me a juddering wreck

I lose the match; the wife won’t give me a kiss 
I wish I could have been anything else than this... 


Details | I do not know? | |

Free

Closed eyes.
Deep breath.
Count to ten.
It's not the end.
A change. For the best.
I'm stronger.
I never needed you
I was just afraid.
I let the fear of being alone, Hold me down.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Last Plea

Though my eyes are open I cannot see,
I know my name but not who I be.
The sun it shines but I get no light,
Every second of the hour it seems you want to fight.
My love is a river with nowhere to go,
Like a puddle or pond with nowhere to flow.
Trapped and confided I can’t escape these thoughts,
Cursed and ridiculed; is this my fault.
I smile, I love, and I give my all,
But pain and bullsh_t is all I cause,
I’m surrounded...there’s no way out,
By lies and things I know nothing about.
Will you ever stop and present me the chance,
To have your love I worked for
and not be judged by your glance,
Not put down for someone else’s past,
Not acknowledge as the driver of someone else’s crash.
Not as the problem I seem to be,
An unneeded piece to a puzzle complete.
Is there a place that we can one day belong?
A place where this pain and the hurting is gone.
There is; but can we fix it before we get there,
Or do my eyes have to close forever...
before you see how much I care.


Details | Rhyme | |

secret crush

be still my heart just hush
ill get rid of this big bad crush
if only you knew how much i care
the kind of love i have for you is rare
you dont even know my hearts on fire
and that your the one that i desire
i dream of kissing your lips
but when i wake away you slip
be still my heart just hush
ill get rid of thei big bad crush
i wish i could tell you how i feel 
then your touch i wouldnt have to steal
you would be mine
with our hearts and body intertwined
i wouldnt have to dream
and i could be with you always
i wouldnt have to scheme
this secret is hard to keep
into my heart its etched deep


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Emotional Hole

I did not find myself to be so important
So I ask my friends do I seem distant?
When I ask the question I had received an answer, Yes
So I think that made it clear that I had been not the best
I am a friend of a friend that talks so many things
That friend talks to much it is insane and insanity it brings
I do care, about my friends they are all good people
They tend to stand on their high steeple 
Today I find myself not so aware
Disbanding my fear of regret and care
Walking many different paths I see that I have found holes
It is the path that people choose to use to fuel their rage with coals
Coals are partially burnt wood or fossils a piece of fuel
It is the source of burden and fire a rage of emotions that stands cruel
It can be warm and caring, but it also can be baring
I just start to feel so low, below the ground I keep on staring
I reach for my friends so many times I feel so ignorant at times
Just once I feel I should not rely on them when feeling I can not find 
I dig my hole deeper and I can not climb out
For some reason I am just full of doubt
I care about so many things and what I have is confusion
One person should be all I should think about to get out of that illusion
My battle in my heart and mind is not at all so pleasant
I feel so alone in an island that is shaped like a crescent
My emotions is like coinciding with a diameter of the semicircle
Not a full emotion that is complete like a circle
My feelings is circular full of incomplete thoughts, so much deeper
I feel it will wake up my evil half a evil soul that is a sleeper
What question should I ask myself? to believe that I am not so alone
As I feel like a person who is deteriorating to the bone
I ask my friends the same question once again
I figure I should do it, to know what kind of feelings I should end
So many thoughts that come out of my feeling
I feel like my friends take, an emotional trauma of stealing
They ask me questions and I answer theirs
But when I need mine answered I feel burning inside like a flare
Are they even friends when they do not take me serious in anyway
Just put me in my hole cause I feel nothing in their will be getting in my way
It's just so simple to answer someones problem
I answer friends with beauty of a rose, but when they answer mine I get the stem
I know the stem is very important in life, with out it how can a rose be a rose
With a hole to put the root and stem in how can it grow
The words we speak I guess is like all natural things we reap and sow


Details | Sonnet | |

Vast Love

The love that kisses with a tasteless tear
A pain that can’t be painted on the soul
A longing for a place without a fear
Longing for a feeling that makes me whole
Beloved, words can’t heal my tattered heart.
As thorns pass me by the pain cant compare
That of the pain of being torn apart
Even the wind howls about it I swear
Tell me was falling in love my mistake
I chose my own fate and decided to stay
I will not let this love become forsaken
Love can’t just get up and spirit away
Love is worth overcoming a mountain
My love for you flows like a vast fountain


Details | Quatrain | |

Silence

Believing the heart to be true to it's calling, 
While wrapping it safely in caution's warm quilt, 
Flying too close to the flame that entrances, 
Hope's wings have been singed both by trust and by guilt. 

Forging through pain that had sought to destroy her, 
Enveloped in memories she wanders through time, 
Revelling in feelings too distant to waken, 
Provoking the heart to speak freely in rhyme. 

Love can not lend her the courage to fight on, 
Memories can't save her, nor send aid to bear, 
They stand by her helplessly watching and waiting, 
For silence to meet with her cowardice there. 

She stands at the door, and yearns to step through it, 
To the side of the threshold that pain can not touch, 
Her heart beating ardently, longing for refuge, 
But refuge at this point is asking too much. 

Tomorrow may bring the resolve she so yearns for, 
To stand up and walk as though none were aware, 
Of the shame, and remorse she's allowed to enslave her, 
To break free for all time from this prison of care. 

YLE 

Canada


Details | Verse | |

A Painful Gift to Treasure

 A PAINFUL GIFT TO TREASURE 

Her Heart was filled with grief and sorrow
For her there seemed to be no happy tomorrow
Yet there wasn’t a drop in her eye
Because the pain in her heart was too much to cry!

She hoped that a sense of joy would wrap her around
Longing for peace to completely her surround
So that she could forever sleep
And her heart would no more weep!

She did not want her life any more
For there was nothing to live for
She knew she could end her pain
With a simple cut in her vein!

Although She was tormented in every way
She still struggled to live life every single day
FOR SHE KNEW LIFE WAS A TREASURE
A GIFT, THAT ONLY GOD COULD END, WHENEVER!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast
As her beauty glistens on the outside, her beast brutalizes and demeans her insides.
Belligerent engaged and in war with herself, hostile aggressiveness makes her beast comes out.
She desperately cries out, unable to discipline herself.
Her beast disassociates and separates her from forming any relationships with anyone else.
Her beast slowly takes her dignity and devitalizes her pride.
She is weaken and deprived of life.
She no longer sees her worth; her eyes tell her story of hurt.
Pain as a contributor a well-known donor, love has divorce her.
Forsaken entirely abandon since birth, to be truly loved she thirst.
Unable to see her beauty runs deep, genuinely shows her generosity that emphasizes her sincere honesty.
She garnishes her beastliness while smiling.
As her beast is hiding deeply behind her eyes, her glazy stare intensify her happy appearance as a glassy finish.
As her beast is frantic, her beauty becomes fraudulent.
Her smiles more deceitful her heart grows fragile emotions so gullible.
The meaning of love gravels. 
Beauty and the beast she will forever be, for the love she crave the beast will forever eat.
Leaving her dying a unloved sleeping beauty.


Details | Sonnet | |

Laughing Man, Pain Hidden

Laughing Man, Pain Hidden


A laughing man hid well his pain
 our approval he sought to gain
A hope that admiration would pay
 force the inner demon far away

Can any judge another man's soul
 we can only guess but never know
The mental pains cut ever so deep
 hammers preventing needed sleep

No plea, request or loud outcry
 no note explaining the why
Answer left to be only a guess
 misery now gone, soul at rest

A laughing man hid well his pain
so very sad but will happen again

Robert J. Lindley , 08-12-2014


Details | Free verse | |

The Hardest Thing To Do

When you have given it your all
thinking we will grow old together
not giving up 
determined to make it work
trying to earn his respect and gain his trust
showing your loyalty 
giving your heart
wanting only to matter
but he just tears you apart 
always wondering why
what did I do
to make you hate me so much
I look like a fool
without any guilt and no regret 
he did the one thing 
that I can never forget
I try to forgive but thats hard to do
when he’s not even sorry 
how can you be so cruel
you destroyed my life and our future too
we said till death do us part 
but that wasn’t true 
just another lie
thats all you seem to do.
you slept with my friend
over and over again
thats hardly a mistake 
for this my heart cannot mend
you wanted to hurt me
and thats just what you did
my husband, my lover, you were my best friend? 
what happened to forever? 
why did you make me your wife
you tell me you need me because I’m your soul mate in life
yet
you don’t love me enough to tell me the truth
that’s how I know my feelings will never matter
to you
So my love this is going to be the hardest thing for me to do
learn to accept defeat and let go of you


Details | Senryu | |

12-21-12

The end of the world — 
I will see you all in hell.
May I rest in peace.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Breakdown

Kill me now,
no one needs to know how.
They don't care anyways,
let me waste away.

I'm so alone,
I'm always on my own.
I was happy one minute,
now I want to cut.

I'm trying to stay strong,
but it's been too long.
I'm giving up,
since no one is helping me up.

I'm falling down,
and there's no one around 
to keep me sane,
so all I want is pain.


Details | Quatern | |

Fate says goodbye

The rare chance entered and I leapt
Would this chance arise once more
Visions of fate have now been kept
One more goodbye now is in store

Sadness, however, does not loom
The rare chance entered and I leapt
I write these words of certain doom
I pondered by night while I crept

A long cold walk, with no hope left
Stubbornness my refuge last night
The rare chance entered and I leapt  
Yes these words have a little spite

Before I ran, but this time walked
I can’t forget, and have not slept
Tell me why we would have talked
The rare chance entered and I leapt


Details | Free verse | |

For a friend in pain

you're a silent person inside, that i know..
so a single insult or pain would pose a great blow..
When in pain close your eyes and drift..
think of of happiness and joy, that would give you a lift..

Anger and grieve, please don't let it rust..
In your heart don't let it last..

know that jokes come and go..
sometimes jokes go far beyond "tolerable"
so when hit in the heart so hard,
stay with your guard..
Maybe tomorrow's a better joke..
maybe tomorrow's your day..

Because every "tomorrow", we change, we grow, we love more and joke more..

Sorry for today..

We had to see those sad, sad, eyes..


Details | Free verse | |

Shattered and Broken

A spiderweb crack in the mirror,
it covers the surface with a broken unspoken beauty.
My reflection is fragmented back to me.
Darkened red blood seeps down the seams of the mirror.
I see these eyes of mine that no longer look familiar,
circles, black beneath the insignificant bottom lashes.
Cheeks sunk in under high cheekbones on a weary face.
I do sadly recognize this pain.
My hands are shaking on the edge of the bathroom sink.
Brown, black, blood and bruises coloring darkness over my tan hands.
Unsteady and unsure, shaking violently, trembling terribly.
The heart can only handle so much before it shatters into pieces.
I shatter into pieces.
Somebody please come and save me from this reflection.
It haunts me, it is not me
but it is who I've become. 
Shattered and broken like the mirror on the bathroom wall.

05-04-2014


Details | Rhyme | |

The Weeping

And so begins the weeping,
The weeping that comes in waves;
Waves that crash in evening tide
To begin the sorrows fade.
And yet in sorrow I sit,
Melancholy under night;
Night whose air reminds me still
That remembrance is the light.
And who shall be the teller,
The meter for this old song?
Sung in whispers meant for none,
Save for those who may belong.
On air and breeze cries carry,
Yet alone they reach the sea.
And I endure their telling 
As the waves crash over me.

C.L.Baker©2013


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | Quatrain | |

Sandy Hook

Today, it just doesn't seem fair
That we are still able to breathe.
They have given us their air-
Our duty to lead the life they leave.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Away

Mostly I care about my heart 
But always crush my heart
I don’t want to know if there is anyone for me
Just sad for losing everything who was for me
All things going wrong out of that

Away! Away! Away! Away!
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Shattered dream

An empty screen is like a shattered dream, 
Inside my heart I feel the scream!
There is nothing more to say,
Nothing will brighten up this day!

I feel only the emptiness,
I have had it with your aggressiveness!
All your words so dirty, verbal abuse galore;
I just cannot take this anymore!
You think you are so tough?
Well, I have had enough!

I am hurting like never before;
My tears are running, no they pour!
I kept on clinging, hoping things will get better;
But I’m crying, my eyes are just getting wetter!

I have realized that our lives will never be the same;
And all you can do is give me the blame!
You are killing me with words, slowly but surely!
Calling me names, making me feel filthy!

I lived in fear of you, but deep down inside I knew;
That you are a person that tears at other people’s hearts;
Your hate for me must be going off the charts! 
Destroy me, is that all you can think about?
You are making it your mission in life, without a doubt!
You make me sick to my stomach, blaming it all on me;
The blame is on the both of us, yes, we!

You will never admit that you are wrong;
No wonder, it’s your drink that makes you strong!
My heart cries out, why must I always be in pain? 
Must my life always be the same?

What a shame, a strong man... 
but an unwell women you can blame.  
I hope you hang your head in shame
Because I am, forever, erasing your name! 


Details | I do not know? | |

I Stand, Alone



I stand, alone.

Scratching for my truths,
peeling away the veneer,

I stand, alone, before this
impregnable cliff so sheer.

Cocooned in my solitary shell,
wrenching a smile from a tear,

I stand, alone, a little odd,
and definitely quite queer.

I stand, alone.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Hurricane sandy

I remember the war in Iraq
Seeing bombs falling from the sky
And parents trying to comfort 
The children who were afraid to die

And I also remember some people
Who had happiness on their face?
As they watch on the news
And enjoy the war that was taking place

And then the long lines for gas
In Iraq that we see on Aljazeera
No one cares because they think
That could never happen in America

But who is in the kitchen 
Will be the ones to feel the heat
And some takes life for granted
That there will always be food to eat

Now I look at hurricane sandy
And the destructions that it has cause
And I’m sure many of those affected
Are those who was happy for the wars

Innocent lives are lost in sandy
And I feel the sorrow in my heart
Some lost everything they have
All I lost is gas for my truck to start

Is this god’s way of saying to all?
Super powers nations of the world
Change your evil ways today
Or more natural disasters will unfold

The people in war torn countries
Their lifes seems to have no meaning
They are being killed for just gathering
Or even if they are having a wedding

I wish i can make it stop now
But my voices are just one
And it hurt me to be so helpless
While all these atrocities go on

So sandy brings pain and emptiness
Like no one believe it could do
To people who think they were immune
From feeling pain and suffering to

Until the day Jesus returns to earth
There will be wars and hurricanes
Tsunamis, typhoons, earth wakes
So till then we humans will keep suffering


Details | I do not know? | |

MY STRUGGLE TO FIND LOVE

 TO LIVE AND NOT LOVE IS TO NOT LIVE AT ALL!
FOR MANY YEARS THIS LADY LOVED AND LOVED AGAIN
TO ONLY FIND OUT THAT LOVE DIDN'T LOVE HER
HAVE YOU EVER LOVED
YET U FIND OUT YOU NEVER REALLY LOVED
HAVE YOU EVER SMILED 
YET YOUR HEART NEVER FELT IT
HAVE YOU EVER CRIED
BUT THERE WERE NO TEARS
WHERE DOES THIS PAIN COME FROM?
THE PLACE WHERE PAIN 4 EVER DWELLS
IS IN THE BOWELS OF YOUR SOUL

 O TO FEEL LOVE JUST ONCE  
IS A LIFELONG DREAM 
THIS PAIN THAT I FEEL
CAN ONLY BE RELEASED BY THE KEY HOLDER TO MY GATE. 
DO YOU HAVE THE KEY?
DO YOU WANT THE KEY I DON'T THINK YOU DO
IF YOU DO THEN UNNECCESARY QUESTIONS WILL NOT ARISE
ONLY THE TRUE QUESTIONS THAT YOUR HEART DESIRES
YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND, 
WITHOUT IT YOU HAVE NOTHING 
A MAN WITHOUT SUBSTANCE 
IS A MAN WELL WASTED


Details | ABC | |

Sometimes I Like To Pretend Things Never Came To A End

Sometimes I like to pretend, things never came to a end. But over time, our love became a crime. I didn't know what we had, would ever end so bad. But then I knew things weren't right, when we started to fight. Now I walk down memory lane all the time, the pain is worst then committing a crime. We only caused eachother pain, but we were eachothers maine. I thought things would be alright, but I cried alot that night. I don't want things to change, without you my life is strange. You said you wanted me so much it started to hurt that you couldn't wait, now im just another person you hate. When you said you didn't care, I knew the person I loved was no longer there. You aren't the same, the new you is lame. We both fell, now it's hell. You use to always be here for me, like family. But now your nowhere in sight, things aren't right. Empty is all that I can feel, I still can't believe this is real. I didn't mean to let you get away, I didn't know what to say. Am i with the right guy, or am i telling myself a lie. I was afraid to loose what we had, but to you that choice was bad.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Hidden Pain

When you smile at me i laugh at you
When you laugh at me i smile back
I try and hide the pain and agony I feel
So i left this earth and went to Mars
To live closer to the lovely stars;
You might not think it's true

You say you know me 
You act like you know me
You even talk like you do,
But that's not true

You talk about me like you know me from deep inside
You have even tried to have that denied
But sooner or later i'm gonna die
And no one will care

To you and them it doesn't matter anymore
'Cause I'll be under the soiled floor
I'll be forgotten;
Never spoke of,
I'll be hurt and killed because of love.

No one will miss me 
I'll die with no one's sympathy
They won't even ask what happened to me

Livin' alone i think i hate myself
It's like i'm on the top of a never-ending bookshelf
Feelin' as if i'm gonna fall any second now
I'm gonna die and won't remember how

I'm sayin' to the world "good-bye"
Now i'm gonna ask you this:

Can ya hear my shouts and cries 
Can ya see the tears in my eyes 
Can ya hear, can ya see, can you feel me?

Baby, please...help me
Take the pain away
So i'll never deal with it for
Another day


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Little Pill

Oh little pill that makes the death in me spring to life!! Oh how I love to taste your bitter love and wear the handcuffs you've gifted me with! Oh little pill that decides who I will be today!! Thank you so much little pill for all of your sweet numbness and Please,Please never walk away from me because without you my little pill---I would have to feel. Please little pill I don't want to feel....anything...ever again.


Details | Rhyme | |

Hold On To You

Why am I so selfish?
Why do I live for the wrong things?
I am dying inside
Because I refuse to see the light.
I need to say yes,
But I still haven't learned that yet.
I am a fool,
And I am hurting you.
If I would let go of myself,
I would hold on to you.


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Rhyme | |

Be Her

You see her?
Why don't go be like her?
No one likes you,
so this is what you must do.

You must stop being yourself,
get off of you shelf.
You must please everyone,
to do that, you must be number one.

She's the perfect girl,
you're the no one in the world.
So go ahead, and give yourself away,
since you're going the wrong way.

You are no longer you,
see what you can do.
You are now her,
that's better than what you ever were.


Details | Free verse | |

I See You Everywhere

What do I say now? Where do I start?
Without you beside me, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, know it isn't too smart
But I See You Everywhere, oh my poor heart

Love in her ways
She drifts slowly past me
A spring in her step
Oh she's moving too fastly
Upside down now
She turns my heart and soul
Reflecting in my mind
And in my heart, a hole
Every time she crosses my mind
I'm reminded of the pain
No chance to love her
She'll forget my name

So what do I say now? And where do I start?
Because without you beside me girl, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, I know it isn't too smart
But I Still See You Everywhere, and oh my poor heart


Details | I do not know? | |

The Pain in My Heart

The pain in my heart is the same as the pain
Of a father whose son will look not at his face. 
The fact that my sufferings all were in vain
Is a thousand times more than the pain I then faced.

What, for the love of His son will a father do 
More than to lay himself at your feet, dead?
Is there a love of more kindness today than 
The love that forgave all His murderous fiends?

Why, my dear son, will your eyes open not?
When did thy heart ever alter to stone?
When did my soul filled with love for thy sake
In a thousand years ever leave you in lone?

Answer me, son, let my ears hear your lies,
Face me, my dear, with your pile of deceit,
Puncture my heart yet again, if you wish,
With the sword of a hatred I long to delete.

The piercing of nails and the beating of whips, 
Shall never come close to the pain I now feel
The pain in my heart is much more than the pain
Of a father whose son has forgotten of him.


Details | ABC | |

im soo sad

im so sad 
i dont know what to do why is life so sad n dark
i hide in the dark 
i like being in the dark 
the pain of losing people 
the pain of losing my family to my step mom she just took every thing away
i like darkness i feel pain 
i hide my feeling 
i feel like im on the edge of being gone 4 ever 
i dont talk to any one i rather stay in my room in the dark 
i want to cry every day i want to disaper 
the darkness is taking over me 
its taking me to a deep dark place i dont want to be


Details | Senryu | |

Weeping

Heavy and dark eyes
yearning in a broken heart
inspires the silence


Details | Rhyme | |

Heartbreak hotel

Heartbreak hotel

There’s a little place I know
Where heartbreak people go
You can stay there for just thirty bucks a day
There people down on luck
They be treated like they’re muck
It’s not the place where winners choose to stay.

The man who runs this place
Ain’t no smile upon his face
He’s just out to make a lot of money
And the guys that work for him
Their faces all set grim
They make sure that this lodge don’t seem too sunny

They kick folk all around
Tread their faces in the ground
They have no pity in their hearts so cold
The head man he’s like Hitler
His manner very bitter
He has no guts, and yet he acts so bold

If you’re ever down on luck
And you’re very short on bucks
Avoid this place its owner calls a lodge
You’d best sleep on the streets
Laid out on those wooden seats
But this heartbreak hotel it’s best to dodge.


Details | Free verse | |

Unspoken love

Under layers of sheets against the biting coldness of early mist
in between soft, cuddly comfort of my pillows
and an unseen blanket of warmth all over me

An unnamed waves suddenly washed me
and swept me to the unknown abyss of darkness
unknown abyss of lost hopes, dreams and wishes.

My hands are flailing, searching for something to hold on to
hoping for never-ending hope that I will be swept back ashore
for I'm losing, drowning and on the verge of giving up soon.. anytime!

Like any other dreams that I dream't before
Is it worth dreaming for? Or should I wait a little more?
Would it be a dream come true someday? anytime?

I heard a thumping, so loud it brought me back to where I ended up last night
cushioned in the familiar scent of my bed, I'm awake now;
deaf in my own heartbeat, waiting for the sun to cast his light, soon, anytime!

Mind racing in a speed of light, in a morning Sunday rush!
whilst heart is taking it's pace in a leisure Sunday morning walk
distance covered, places conquered, end of the line will be reached anytime soon.

And from where the sun rises, a secret wish was blown into a kiss
all the way up, up against the course of hands of time
may the faith favor the odds and let that wish be granted... anytime soon! 


Details | Haiku | |

pain is


Pain is always sharp-
      I hate it but I should not-
            as it has taught me the most.


Details | ABC | |

Your one mistake

I feel really hurt, I hope you don't notice the mascara stains on your shirt. I dont want you to know I still cry, I dont want you to know your the reason why. I know I have made many mistakes and caused you many heartaches. But I dont know how you handle this pain, I'm going insane. I feel like that one lie, has done more than make me cry. Its caused me to look at you a different way, its caused me to overthink everything you have said or say. I dont want us to change but now things feel so strange. I guess I'll just have to adjust but I dont have anyone to trust.  I dont know what all you have said is true, I dont know what to do. Should I be mad, is it okay for me to be sad. I hate the fact but I don't know how to react. I didn't exspect for that to happen, I wasn't prepared for my heart to be broken. I thought we we didnt keep secrets from eachother, I thought we could trust one a nother. But you have proven me wrong, showed me I'm not strong. I just hope you gain my trust back, before things get all wack.


Details | Personification | |

Tears of a Black Youth

I'm crying out with these emotions that i'm can't explain
I'm crying out with two emotions in my heart,my sadness,and my pain

My tears flow out like a river fall into an endless ocean
My mind feels like its at war with my emotions.

Can you see my tears as they flow out
Can you see the pain in my eyes

Can you understand the pain I'm suffering from
Can you hear me asking why

I'm crying because of the world's ever escalating malice
I'm crying because of the news always showing victims of murderers and rapists

I'm crying because seeing so many deaths.
I'm crying because of seeing innocents breathing their last breaths

I'm crying because of people dying on the street corners
I'm crying along with the other mourners

These tears are for those who've died in wars,barrios,and ghettos
Even though we it was their time to go

I'm crying because the the pain will never go away
The tears will never disappear

All i can do now is pray
And that people can see this black youth's tears


Details | Lyric | |

Never Be the Same

I wake up sittin' on my bed,
I have these thoughts runnin' through my head.
I just cant figure out a way,
of how I'm gonna get through this day.
Oh, come and take my breath away,
I'll never be the same,
I'm not ready for today,
But it's gonna happen... Anyway.
I dont know how to understand,
I dont know whats, happening..
I can't do this on my own... No.
I'm starting to feel like i'm all alone... all alone.
I wake up sittin' on my bed,
I have these thoughts runnin' through my head.
I just cant figure out a way,
of how I'm gonna get through this day.
I need some juice, I need a Jolt!
Or maybe get hit my a lightning bolt!
some things will never be the same.....
Oh, come and take my breath away,
I'll never be the same,
I'm not ready for today,
But it's gonna happen... Anyway.
But it's gonna happen.... Anyway.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Kindness is a Virtue

Who are and who is my friends or acquaintances, confusing everyday
but today I have found my self to walk a path that is not so rough
I became so blinded to have friends that it pains me anyway
They take a simple kindness and think that I am not tough
so by deliberately challenging me to act like nothing happens I grow bold
Wake up you! and all the rest, I have something to say
I don't like this feeling of regret or sorrow so please do not take me cold
as a friend you should know to not take advantage of my kindness in away
A storm is blowing inside my soul burning a hole in it so
lightning is striking in methods unknown for in the distance thunder you hear
Some of the greatest warriors fall with great weapons of bow
antics that slaughters such feebleness as cowardices use an unseen spear
To let one know that your feelings are clear do not hesitate
to do so shows fear and that is one thing that can determine your choice
With kindness in your corner you should easily win and that will be great!
In the end you can hold up a drink with friends and smile and rejoice


Details | I do not know? | |

TO A FRIEND

I sat to pen a remembrance of you,
in poetic subtleties and disguise
I sought to paint a picture you.
But subtleties are no veil
for a pain in the soul inscribed
for a mild discomfort, maybe
but for a friend you, no.

In verse did I seek to consider you, oh poet.
in rhythm and imagery 
I sought to tell a story, a story you.
But rhythm neer does in step move
with sobs and muffled wails,
and what imagery attends
hollow eyes gazed upon pain.
For commentaries on faceless statutes maybe
but for my confidant you no.

"Be strong and pen", I steadied faltering arms
"to immortalise a friend in verse" I commanded,
with all the tones and hue of a poem
that of a boast you'd make from the heavens

But a poem neer will 
of this poet suffice to tell
for you were first a friend to me
before a poet to the world.
A poem thus cannot tell
of the pain and hurt deeply felt
May be if it was in tears pened
and with sobs punctuated.



 


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Myself

I cry myself awake
In the middle of the day
Because of a decision I made
Not to spend time with you.
And now everything I am
Is falling apart into pieces;
I feel like I am losing you
Because I am losing myself.


Details | Free verse | |

Absence

Dark Hole!

There is a hole inside me I cannot fill
There is a void, a window if you will,
It is the absence of joy and pain
It is the stillness, a black and white stain,
Created by the passage of time
Created by the holes that you find,
In your heart from a sneak attack!
By someone who should of had your back
By someone who shoot you in the back,
I try in fact to patch this hole
I try but lack the tactics to meet this goal!
So I grow cold
So I grow old,
With this hole
In my soul!

RP.




Details | Free verse | |

Pandemic

I have a problem with ignorance they say that it’s bliss;
But when you are blinded, there’s a lot that you miss.
The screams are all muffled into some kind of silence;
Your mind is attracted to all types of violence.

You avoid the trauma of those in pain,
Start focusing on success and what you can gain.
Your vision is clouded with thoughts of envy and wealth.
You ignore the symptoms and the decrease in your health. 

You digest all of the toxins and they’ll say you’re insane;
All while the poison seeps into your brain. 
You are void of all conscious thought;
You think that you’re good but really you’re not.

The evil possesses you in all that you do,
You think you have faith but you haven’t gotten a clue. 
The demons take over and then you are at loss;
Answering not to yourself but another big boss. 

You’ll start longing for a saving grace,
From up above or outer space.
An entity to save your soul-
To take away your sinful goal. 


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye, Farewell

Goodbye, farewell There is a time for everything But time for me has drawn its wings back away Leaving me to the sad hellos of today Do I wish to embellish in the sounds of your pain? Or will I take the back way into town to seek the reigns? Tension like ice crackles at the sound of departure Sometimes leaving it alone is harder I never expressed the selfish growths of my pride I am sickened in darkness, stuck in this mind Where is the heart when one needs the goodbye? Where is the mind when I break down and cry? Goodbye, farewell I never amounted to much Though I was granted everything My wings are folded too tightly with time The meat is tucked beneath and only I feed On the breadth of my own luscious nourishment Will I crush you with indifference? Silently beat you with fervent fury? Will I flood with tears of inward emotion? The sick selfishness one masks as devotion! Heat melts away the ice Replaced by tethered spite Goodbye, farewell! Before the night sweeps you away I never will cherish this today I will let the time dive into the abyss With the greetings and salutations one will never miss I will ride into the fiery skies with no care but my own Landing in turbulent waters in winds that moan There is a reason but it is unknown And that is how it will always be Can’t you see this is good for you? This is the only way—I fear for you Abandonment is only an emotion So, goodbye, farewell


Details | Free verse | |

Newtown

Please wake me up,
From this awful dream,
Sounds of carefree laughter,
Have suddenly become,
Horrifying screams.

Gunfire erupts,
In an unexpected place,
Bullets claiming victims,
While others rush out,
Terror etched upon their face.

Why did the hand of death,
Visit Newtown today,
Mowing down the innocent,
Whose only thoughts involved,
School and friends and play.


Why?  Will we ever know?


Details | Lyric | |

Sorhleod

It was the myriad relapse The shadows perched, time slipped, the temptation resided to my mind I'm sure I have most the soul I never once had Lost; once you go into the dark eternal black there's no hope of dreaming of atoning back Small child I cling to you trying to savor the innocence When I could believe in everything again I tried All along to search for the truth But " the truth" is something that the truth eradicated I want to be ignorant again Can't face reality again Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fear Remove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive" makes me cry I can't make it stopThe razor beckons my name The scars and all their Shame... Find a way to pierce my serpent heart Through the iron membrane it's bleeding, I know When I have no cigarettes to burn When I have no more knowledge to Learn When I have no more xanax To cause concern I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fearRemove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive"makes me cry I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me I've dried out tMy heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me


Details | I do not know? | |

Distant African Nights

Those Distant African Nights...


1.


The shadows swayed in your candlelit room,

a cool breeze teasing your bare back,


streaks of lightning forked in the Johannesburg night,

as my hands stroked your hair,

kissing your soft mouth,

holding you,

ever so tight.



2.


You whispered that you loved me,

and I kept silent,


the rain fell, 
shadows danced,
thunder rolled,

the breeze teased your naked back,

you whispered that you loved me,
as my lips found yours,

the rain washed over our tender nights,


lightning and candlelight,

etching poems on your burnished skin,


yet,

a fear gnawed at me,

deep within.



3.


We parted ways,
and you could never forgive me, you said,


now, after numberless thunderstorms,

the rain that falls,


echo the countless tears that I have shed.



4.


You are long gone,

far away,

happy, I pray,


yet the memories persist,

those precious moments shall never, 
ever,

like the Jo'burg rains,
trickle away,

and I wish you well,
for loving me as you did,

for it was I who was not worthy,


then,


and it is I who is not worthy,


now...



5.


You were always true,


it was I who always,

always,

refused to,


to give myself,


completely to you.






Details | Free verse | |

The Black Abyss

Sinking in deeper,
No way to escape,
The dark and scary Reaper,
Fore told in the Book of Life.

Is this my end?
Will I ever see the light of day again?
No. My wounds, I must mend.
I must find my strength.

Stand my ground,
Face my fears.
Only then will my voice be found
I must survive.

Break the suffocating chains,
Run from the darkness.
Power will fill my veins.
I will Fight!

Fight the painful names,
The horrid memories,
The demented games 
And escape My Black Abyss.


Details | Lyric | |

The Saddest Song I've Ever Heard

The Saddest Song
(I’ve Ever Heard)

No guitar no drums
No melody to be heard
Just the beat of my heart 
Thud thud thud
Harder & harder
As the fear gets stronger
What is a girl to do when the one she loves the most?
Is also the one she fears the most
Saying no won’t help
He will do it anyway
With his manhood 
With a knife or sometimes even a candle
The pain is more than I can bear 
Yet I have to stay strong 
He won’t stand for tears
So inside I cry
As I listen to the sound of 

The Saddest Song
(I’ve Ever Heard)

I wanted so bad to tell 
I wanted to make it all stop
Yet I was afraid of losing the one person 
Who loved me the most
I didn’t want anyone to take him away
So I suffered in silence
I did my best to hide the pain
And the music played on for 

The Saddest Song 
(I’ve Ever Heard)

With a mother who didn’t seem to care
All I had was my dad 
Yet he was the one who couldn’t control his 
Desires 
He was the one hurting me more & more
When it wasn’t him 
It was his friends who paid to have a piece of the action
So I just retreated inside myself
So I didn’t have to feel the pain
Tried to block it out
Pretend I was someone else 
Watching from a distance 
Yet the pain still didn’t go away
And the tears never stopped falling
Inside of me
I felt so all alone 
Listening to the sound of 

The Saddest Song
(I’ve Ever Heard)

He passed away 
I pushed the pain away
Locked it in a box in a space deep inside 
Forgot it all until recently
Then the music started to play
And the memories came rushing back
The holes in my childhood are filling in
And for each new memory 
A tear forms in my eyes 
And no matter how hard I try
I can’t keep them from falling
Down my face 
As I realize 

The Saddest Song
(I’ve Ever Heard)

Is the story of my life 
& 
It I hadn’t remembered 
It may have never been heard


Details | Free verse | |

Final Hour

The final hour has finally come, 
All too slow.
I wish it didn’t have to be this way in a room of white and blue, 
Connected to machines so they know the time has arrived.
Everyday has been painful but not today.
I don’t feel the unforgettable pain of my insides failing one at a time.
They said the test would help.
They would cure.
But they lied, I’ve learned never to believe the one’s wearing white.
All the test did was worsen me, hair falling pass my eyes to the ground below,
And I could nothing but wait for my final hour.
I could only listen to the whispers of grief from those around.
Why do you stand around and watch me shrivel away!
Why is it all you do is hurt me, make me cry! 
Why! Please tell me why I have to go, I’m young I don’t want to go!
But my pain is slowly leaving me, no strength left to fight.
My body slowly flowing with happiness. 
I see old family waving and I relies my hour is up.
My hour is up as the line runs straight for all to know


Details | Rhyme | |

When I look at you

When i look into your eyes I see a pain that should have never been. 
With all my heart and soul I want to save you from the hurt within.
But in the mist of trying to save you I can't help but give you my heart.
My soul constantly telling me this is where it belonged from the start.

Truely you remind me of my favorite sad song,
Beautiful, sweet, sad and has a message that is strong.
The melody sweeps me away before I know it I've drawn a tear.
The beauty of it all has me wrapped up and has pulled me near.

If I could take away your pain, anger, and hate inside,
I feel I would be saving our love, so that it wouldn't have to hide.
If you could show me your whole heart, perhaps I could show you mine,
We could save each other you know, so we could stop being so blind.

When I look at you I see my friend, who I in secret loved for years
A love I thought was lost to me, that I could have had if I saw past my fears.
When I look at you I see a fighter who has his eye on what he wants
A lion if you will, an I feel I am the prey and you are on the hunt.

The feeling of this excites me, but I am reminded of a fact
I belong to someone else, and I just cant hurt him like that.
The pain of this truth has been killing me, I even thought about ending my life.
I would rather be dead than to hurt either of you, I love you both but thats not right.

I'm not trying to be greedy, or selfish, but the truth is I am confused.
My walk is not to find my own happiness, its to comfort the hurt and abused.
Somehow my heart gets stuck in the middle, and i become one who needs to be 
saved.
My feelings are strong and they don't lie, to my heart I am but a slave.

You came along, and you have givin me more than i thought you could.
And although you have caused me pain, my heart can only see where you have 
given good.
You hurt me with your words, but my heart turns a deaf ear to your defense.
My heart knows you are protecting yourself, and you have a right to, I mean it only 
makes sense.

This started off being words to a man I love from my heart
I'm ending this as words to that man who of me, will always have a part.
This life is not easy, we all have to do the best we can do
But my heart smiles brightly when I think of you.


Details | Romanticism | |

The Widower

What is there too say now?
What is there to do this evening?
Nothing for I am without you,
I remember you, when my eyes first looked upon your brow and beautious eyes,
Your luxurious features and a heart of gold and platnium,
I am lost in a garden of cluelessness, and lost and forgotten.

My heart aches and shivers in the lone days of the mid December evenings,
You are gone and lost without a single trace,
But soon I had lost you for good and could never find you again,
I buried you in the gardens of the dead,
and the tears from my broken heart showered your grave.

Oh now I wish you were here,
To listen to my heart,
For it is out of tune and the orchestra is playing a slow melody,
and the chimes ring me to the dinner table,
To eat alone the lonely supper for the mourning of my woman.

So I eat alone tonight,
The house is quiet and empty,
The butlers and maids have gone home,
Nothing but lone, empty halls,
Once filled with love and music,
keep me company.

The slow music plays in my study,
I sit in my red chair,
I cry and cry again,
I read a book of poetry and think of you,
Not a life worth living without you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Without You



Without you,

worn down, weary,
staggering into tomorrow,
dissolving my todays, grim, dreary,

I crawl, slipping out of my skin,
flinging laughter, joy, contentment,
into the gaping abyss of life's dustbin.

Without you


Details | Lyric | |

Song of the Raped Virgin

Yet…
Life shows you pain before the smiles
Even though youth has cried for innocence:
Outside the soul one bleeds and hides,
Inside the flesh one dies of nonsense.
When turning pages you see humble hopes:
The book of your life is already ended,
The sea you paint is without boats,
The land you plant is thoroughly cursed.
O, that you wish,
Steps away from you are!
The garden you live in is a grave where to be burned;
And dark shades in your eyes made the night of no star-
To fade out is a grace for those scars you have earned!
And perish all alone…
Like the fresh air in the cold,
Like an old tree the day of thirst,
Or a martyr when to burst…
That shame of your birth must be the same when to hold-
Those lies you tell:
As you are not only the first…


Details | Rhyme | |

The Truth That Was Hidden

I'm  sitting here in this room,
thinking to myself about the past.
How I had bloom...
though, it didn't last.

God, everyday I am lying.
Everyday I put on my mask.
I always end up crying
since no one dares to ask.

I stopped talking to my friends,
cut them all loose.
For this is the end,
and we all knew I would lose.

Everyone around me thinks I'm better.
since all they see are lies.
They should know better!
Even though I'm in disguise.

I put on my fake smile
and laugh along with everyone around me.
I think everyone is in denial
since they can't obviously see

They act like nothing happened.
like... I faked the whole incident.
They honestly don't know what happened,
or why I caused that incident.

They believe that I was never "broken"
just that I wanted attention.
I should have never spoken
and give them my full attention.

No one knows I've been skipping my pills,
everyone thinks I take them.
Maybe I'm saving them for the kill?
Who knows what I plan to do with them.

I throw up everyday,
only because I've grown used to it.
No one understands my ways
or why I keep quiet.

Sometimes, when I'm alone
and I see something I could use to harm myself.
I check to make sure I'm on my own
and start to look at myself.

First, I cry...because I oh so much hate my body.
Then, I hurt myself.
Proving that I am nobody.
and since I'm alone, and with no one else

I continue doing this 
until I see a drop of blood,
then it feels like bliss.
I continue sometimes, craving the blood.

Then when it gets too much,
I sit down
thinking... no one knows I do such
if they did...would they let me drown?

I bet they would.
Since everyone I have come to love, 
leaves me..just like they should.
because I'm nothing from above.

You might think I'm a blessing.
ha, I'm a curse.
I bet you were messing,
and just tried to keep it from getting worse.

but let me get this straight,
nothing you say or do,
will get me to leave this gate.
For this gate is where I was left to

be on my own.
to forget about help.
I was always alone,
never having anyone's help.

Just let me be,
I don't need your sympathy.
Can't you see?
It doesn't matter to me!

I'd rather have everyone hate me
than have you all pretend
because believe it or not, I can see
through all your acts that should come to an end.

You aren't my friend,
so leave me now.
This my end,
you mustn't know how.

I will write back soon,
for this is my only comfort.
I only shall come at the time of the moon,
for that is my hour of comfort.


Details | Free verse | |

Rescue Me

Everything around this feels so wrong,
Feeling as if this does not belong,

Feeling trapped inside a world that isn't for this,
Retreating within to the recesses of this mind full of bliss,

This feels like screaming but to let it out would not do,
The people would hear this and wonder to what is wrong with you,

Then to shield this so no one would understand,
Wandering the depths of mind of this barren empty land,

Alone and confined in and of this cold crystal heart,
How can this ever hope to help others when this is crumbling apart?


Details | Free verse | |

Cliffhanger

Teetering on the edge 
staring into the darkness below 
the swirling emptiness 
reminds me of my soul 
a bottomless pit 
filled with hopes and dreams 
never to be reached 

and yet I dangle 
day after day 

I should have lept by now 
to discover new depths 
or to end old disappointments 
but like the punch drunk boxer 
whose pride refuses to quit 
and never intelligent enough 
to realize it is time 
I shall battle on 

yet it would be so easy 
to throw in the towel 
submit to uselessness 
to martyr myself 
but it is not my pain 
nor my suffering 
that approaches the edge 
it is yours 
and my desire to take it 
into the depths of my very soul........ 

I wish that I could sacrifice myself 
for the pain of the world, especially the children, 
but then I realized I am amongst the multitude.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

MY ENDLESS CRYING

 My endless crying
I don’t know where to start 
 From a Present full of pain and little happiness 
 From my past, dark with too much sadness 
Few spot of light and little happiness
 Moments of happiness!!!!!!!!!!!!
They disappeared in the ocean of my sadness 
Remembering them, makes smile
When I used to know how to smile  
Before I sink in the hardship of the life
 Many times I want to cry 
Some time I want scream load
But then I remember in the past
They used to say its shame for a man to cry 
They used to say men do not cry
But I say that is all lie no one cry as hard as men cry
No one cry as much as men cry
We cannot publicly cry
We have to hide our tears when we cry 
Men are good to hide their pain and tears 
They should remain strong 
But they cry when they are alone
Their tears is too precious to be seen 
If only the walls of the houses talk
If only the eyes of the men talk
If only the tears of the men talk
If only the pillows on their bed talk
They will say how much men cry in the dark
Is it my fate to cry forever?
Is it my destiny any way I turn ends up with great pain 
Or it's my mischief on earth, and this is my punishing
I care no more, what is going to be, let it be 
Let the angel of death land on my world
Let them take my soul 
Let them put end to this endless sadness 
Let my eyes rest and drop no more tears 
Let my heart grief no more
Let my sadness come to the end 
Let people In the world care for their loved one 
They should know men cry when they are alone 
 They need someone to wipe their tears 
they need love  not to  die alone
Die alone ……………………


Details | Rhyme | |

The Rain (the reply) By:Lakeyia Clark

The Rain…(the reply)(By: Lakeyia Clark 09/05/09)



If it’s always a rainy day...how can I see the sunshine
If the clouds never move...am I wasting my time
The clouds are like giants that I have to face
I’m an overachiever of course but will I win the race
Do you hear the rain and how its pouring down
Where is my happiness...it can’t be found...
Wanting much more for my child than I ever had
I still try to make it throughout the good and bad
Wrapped up in bondage from the things of my past
This pain is deep inside and I'm just wearing a mask
To cover up the pain that’s rooted deep within
To cover up the past and the hurt that nobody can mend
I don’t want to deal with it anymore
But I know I have a child to live for
The ugly truth has been revealed
In not so many words yet this is how I feel
With hatred and bitterness towards each and everyone
Men are viewed as predators and the damage is already done
But I try not to let that hold me back from succeeding
Though I'm happy now, my heart keeps bleeding
Bleeding from the beatings, cries, and scars
I try to erase them but they are what they are
Permanent damage to an innocent soul
Sleepless nights and I carry a load
Every night I sleep with the pain
Running from pain to be with what won’t hurt me
Crying out for happiness and to find my sanity
Every day I walk in the rain
But if I walk the other way what would be there
Would I be setting myself up for something I can’t bear
Would it be more of pain and less to gain
Or would it be a way for me to see through the rain


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 2-

My eyes
Refuse to see tragedy
My eyes
Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy 

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just let me be
Leave me alone…hand me a gun

I yearn for unspoiled glory
To make me feel perfect once more
I yearn for flawless serenity
To make me feel no regret…don’t ignore
My calls…don’t hang up on me

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just hear my plea
Listen to my excruciating cries…
Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies  
Our journey has just begun   

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye can’t handle the stress
Let me release my horrendous distress
Eye can see you making that same mistake
At least MY life isn’t at stake

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…do You feel my lament
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement
I’m aching with discontent… I abhor this torment    
When will peace scrub off my fear?

I can’t believe my eyes
Your guiltiness flows into me…
I can’t believe I fell for your lies
Your heartless action rape my mind…you don’t see
What my EYES see…

You’ll never see 
How much pressure you put me under
Unchain me from this chamber
And watch me flee…

When will you be set free?


Details | Epic | |

Eternity of Silent Suffering

These castle walls are cracked and moonlight seeps through, i hug my knees to my chest as
a sob threatens to break out of my throat. My skin is pale and thin; my bones stab through
my skin-nearly breaking it, I would look like a scraggly porcelain doll if I ever looked
in the mirror, but being trapped in this damned place for however long I have no access to
such a luxury. 

My eyes are wet, my hair is tangled and knotted-unbrushed for at least three weeks. My
fingers resemble the bone underneath. I hear wolves call from under the ten foot tower, I
shake in my corner and wish to get a nights sleep that I know would never come. The marks
on my back from the whip stings like hell. 

My limbs hurt; feeling stretched as if they were pulled by horses. A pain in my skull just
behind my eyes pounds rhythmically like hoofbeats galloping drunkenly on the hard
cobblestone streets of London. 

The silver glow of the moon glows brighter as the silver orb centers itself in the sky.
The pain in my limbs grows more intense, the urge to scream in agony is tempting, but I
don't. I should, but do not. It will get me nowhere, and it will not help me. So, I sit in
the corner and suffer silently through such torture. The moon rises higher toward the
center, the pain grows; soon enough, I am unable to hold in the screams.

I scream. 

Granted that citizens below can hear me; do they come? Do they wonder what or who could be
enduring such torture and pain? No...they do not. Never have. 

I go through this for six centuries, no one looks up at the thin, slanted and dark window.
No one comes clambering, clumsily up the stairs of the tower to where my screams grow
louder and are the dominant instrument in this dark, cobblestone hell. No one comes-some
may wonder, I do not invade their minds-nor have I tried. 

But, I fear not that they do wonder, probably are just afraid of what dark, evil creature
awaits them to their death. I am but a nightmare, not exactly a dream, but neither a
nightmare shrouded in shadows and hidden in scraggly, ugly branches like long, clawed
fingernails. 

So, yes, I am nothing but what I perceive myself. What others perceive me as, I know not
what to think; I scream, no one comes...yet, my life is lived more for me as I am living
locked up in this hole. Locked up, and suffering. No one to hear me scream. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Heartless

Sometimes i wish that i could be heartless
Untouched by love and its affects
To not worry about the pain love brings
To never feel the pain of my heart breaking

What joy it would bring to erase the pain
To not feel love and ignore its harsh sting
Covered in an armor impenetrable by love
Heart never touched as often as it was

But this armor i just don't have
And with a broken heart i just can't laugh
I have a heart but i wish i did not
Then i would not feel all the pain it has brought


Details | Free verse | |

The Tidal Wave

The Tidal Wave

I saw a tidal wave come in,
Raging winds and fierce water
Rushed,
Took the houses, cars, trees,
Street signs, park benches,
Pictures of loved ones
(Poor baby Louie, 3 years old washed away)
And along with all the power
It tore my heart out of my cage
And swept it out to the 
Endless seas,
And the great white sharks
Have their way with my heart.

Now bleeding and dying,
Pain follows me,
And I close my eyes,
And wish it all to be done.
Pray for me, I want pain no more.
See tears fall from the corners of my eyes,
As I breathe in and feel no heartbeat.
And they all look at me,
Faces of nomads and they snicker
At me,
I hang my head and cry tears,
But the tears were washed
Away in the tidal wave,
So I sit there,
Eyes closed
And I sleep the night away.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Lyric | |

My heart is dead

You didn't listen to my heart
When it was whispering to you.
When it was screaming out,
You were indifferent and cold
Just like you never cared,
Just like you couldn't love.

A special drama
Sparkling day and night,
Now we are gon' drowning
Because my heart is dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Hurt

Have you ever been hurt so
much that you can't feel?

So much that the pain
makes it nearly impossible to heal?

Have you ever lost someone
that meant so much to you?

Than look back and think
how could any of this be true?

I feel that pain
everyday

I once felt that nothing
could ever feel this way

I hide the happiness
inside the truth

That this pain
is way too crude

I feel like an empty shell
living in a world of hell

The pain antagonizes 
the truth of how I feel

So when I wake up
reality makes it real

I don't know

How to let it go

The pain is so 
deep within

So deep that I let
the enemy win

So how do you know

When to let the hurt go?


Details | Free verse | |

Something Lost

For the first time in seven and a half years You truly disappointed me For the first time in seven and a half years I wasn't proud of you And today you discovered that you Didn't have the ally in me, You perhaps always thought you had Today we both lost something Today we both lost that belief in each other And I cannot help but feel That things between us Will never ever be quite the same again


Details | I do not know? | |

AND THEN I REMEMBER

I wake up in the middle of the night, and reach out to touch you but you are not 
there
 And then I remember, 
The pain returns as quickly as an express train racing out of a tunnel
A quite cry escapes my lips a silent tear my eyes
 I will sleep no more tonight
In the morning I stumble out of bed, not thinking I call your name
And then I remember
I go to the bathroom, no more the clean order of a woman’s touch
But instead the chaotic disorder of the single man
And then I remember 
At breakfast I automatically set two cups, milk in both, sweetener in one
And then I remember
For you it’s just another day but for me it’s as if I am trapped in a time warp 
I eat my breakfast as if in a trance 
And I taste nothing, 
I drink my tea and stare out of the window
But I see nothing
 Except in the deepest corners of my mind
You are still hear with me 
I can see your face and I can smell you perfume
Your laughter fills my heart with joy
 And once again I look into your beautiful brown eyes
And I see again the great love and a deep passion in your soul
I reach out my hand to touch your cheek
My fingers brush your dark silken hair 
You speak my name
Suddenly I feel your soft touch on my arm 
And suddenly I am back and you are gone, 
And then I remember  
    I must pull myself together
 I must try to go on
They say time heels, they say the pain will subside
They say stop thinking of yourself
Think of your child
Words are cheap when you don’t have to pay 
And then I remember
She looks deep into my eyes, and I see her mother’s love
 I see her mother’s passion for life
I reach out and touch her dark silken hair;
 And then she speaks my name,
And then I remember 
Please god let me forget, just for a moment
Just for a while
Just let my child once again see me smile
 


Details | ABC | |

life alone

life alone is bitter and cold
with no one to love no one to hold 
the long dark nights waking up on your own 
got money to spend but no one to phone 
to live like this 
to die with my shame 
to have love for so many with nothing to gain 
but where all born with a purpous reason for life 
but mine has been shattered like the shine off a knife
say the meaning of life and it looses its shine 
no one can own it to me it is all mine 
can life be this cruel or is it just me 
ive lost the way to my heart and i cant find the key 
to write all my feelings to write all my pain 
my heart is now empty cold like the nigh rain 
but we all must be love to be loved and forgotten 
to be buried six feet under and left to go rotten 
although i am 20 and my life is ahead 
but my pain will go on until i am dead


Details | Free verse | |

Protect Me As I Sleep

Nobody 
Knows my real name
‘Angel’ 
Is what I go by
I am freezing cold
I don’t have money
Just, the clothes on my back
I am a walking wardrobe
I am lonely
I smell like crap
I am starving hungry
I can’t find any shelter
My clothes are drenched
I look like a drowned rat!
Violence
Upon women
Is classed normal
Around here!
I wonder...
If
I will survive
Another day?
Only
To wake up
And
Do this
All over, again!
“Protect me tonight
As,I lay my head to rest”
“I love you, dear God”

“Goodnight”


Details | Lyric | |

Please Tell Me

Please tell me you don’t love me
Tell me you don’t need me
My heart has been broken
And it’s braking really easy
Please tell me I’m not the one
Tell me I’m not the reason
I know you’re not happy
You can really stop pretending
Please tell me you’re on your way
Tell me there’s nothing left to say
I’m jus waiting to brake down crying
Every minute of everyday
So please tell me I was once loved
Tell me I had your kisses and hugs
Tell me you had the love of your life
We changed so we gotta split up


Details | Free verse | |

Found

Time … to open
My eyes…
Time … to finally realize
I am the monster … glazed in guise
Time … to take responsibility
Of your slow demise
Of your haunting, screaming, aching unconditional agony
Time … has stopped
I am horrible
Hyperventilating, breaking…
Crying—smiling, faking 
Time … to see where the snake slithers tonight
Smirking in its venom of spite
To see myself crawl in its loosened skin
And become one with its kin
The slits of his eyes frighten me
But I welcome his sick visions
Who made these sticky decisions?
Time … to do something
To help you—to break me to pieces
I am the slime where you have broken through…so revolting
Time … to shake the sand away
To relieve the burning eyes from the blindness
Time to dip them in the cool water of action
Time …
To close up again
I wimper in the dark like a lost hound..

I am so afraid
Lost … but always found


Details | Free verse | |

awake from a dream

My hands loose
on the wheel
Darkness in sight
                The road invisible
lanes imaginery, 
conscious heavy

As the road ends 
so does my touch
                My skin bleeds as
my mind rises
A fury of sounds 
distort my screams
I struggle 
I fight



Helpless
I glide into the darkness
Begging and pleading...
Crying out to stay
As I vanish
into the night


Details | Ballad | |

Gone

Yesterday has slipped away
And only now I see
Just how sad the answers
To those questions asked can be

A hollow feeling in my heart
A pain inside so real
An empty space inside of me
That only you can fill

Even though you're gone from me
Still I’m holding on
To something that can never be
To something so far gone

People say that I'll forget 
That time will dry my tears
People say this pain inside
Will fade throughout the years

But everything we did
And every word that we did share
And every place we've been
Have left their shadows everywhere

Apart from you and I
Nobody else could ever know
Or ever understand
The part of me that can't let go

You were my love, my heart, my soul
You gave my life to me
And now I feel so lonely 
Saying 'I' instead of 'We

In a world of strangers
Here alone I stand
My promise of tomorrow
Gently slipped right through my hand

I close my eyes and feel you near
In dreams you're by my side
In every prayer I pray for you
In every tear I cry

Not only did I lose my love
I lost my best friend too
I lost my world, my heart, my soul
The day that I lost you

Although the road gets lonelier
And longer everyday
My memories of loving you
Will never fade away...


By Raina Hutchins



Details | Rhyme | |

In My Dreams

Every night in my dreams
I watch you walk away
Every night I beg you No
But every night you will not stay
How long must I endure
This terrible horrible sight
When will I be cured
How long must I fight
Every night in my dreams 
you leave and leave and leave 
Because of these awful dreams 
I grieve and grieve and grieve
Every night in my dreams
I watch you walk out the door
Every morning I wake up crying
I can't take this anymore


Details | Verse | |

Melancholy Memory

Her charming beauty
Upon my naked soul.
Threaded deep- sighted through
Her, no fault.

Our friendship- a bond
Our heart couldn’t resist.
Her soul, my soul, soon one
But not long.

Love we nurtured for
Three harvests, perished too
Soon- A signal that I
Am mortal.

The night of her death
Called me insane lover,
Who reared uncertainty,
Tears can’t wake.

Her caring, no more,
But her spirit lives on.
The words and love we shared
Stays amok.

Melancholy form of poetry (5/6/6/3 per line of five stanza) is adopted in this poem. The trailblazer of the form is Constance La France.

17/5/2013

For: Constance La France's "Melancholy Contest" 


Details | Free verse | |

Dancing with Despair

I have danced while music played,
and smiled, although despairingly,
through tears at smiles not meant for me.
My soft eyes, though brown and drab,
have strived to glitter, with scant success,
as others shone bright, emitting light
beneath their lashes, lush and long.
While I lurched in crazy drunken spirals,
others, precise, performed their pirouettes
and slid across the polished floor
and smiled and laughed and more:
completely at their ease.
What terminal disease decrees
despair my partner in this dance?
Is there no chance to sit the music out,
a listener, discrete, devout?
While others whirl and dip, I slide and slip.
Must I be a half-a-pair with stumbling feet,
inept novice, graceless lout who, led about,
never has an easy air dancing with despair?


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Wishing you could love me too

You mean so much to me, more then you'll ever know. 
More then ill ever be able to describe.
But I'll try.
Voice of a angel, touch ever so soft you would think its a feather.
Eyes so beautiful seeing them on a sunset day, medusa stare ever so hypnotizing locking eyes can't look away.
Baby in the tummy, heart just started beating giving me a rush that I really needed.
Love so old I feel defeated.
Even though I do everything for you, I'm looking out for me just keeping a close over view upon you.
How can I fix your life if mine isn't alright, but i don't know where id ever be with out you by my side.
And I thought I'd never know but as of now I'm pushing through. 
Now that your gone, I miss you every night.
But I gotta be strong.
Cause if not you'll be gone and ill be with a baby missing its mom.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

LOST PARADISE

Sponsor:Ryland Matthews
Contest Name:My Darkest Hour
My name:Valeria Iliadou


Rain is falling on my eyes
Rain is falling on my senses
In the middle of the night
In the middle of my darkest hour
Stand the detrited words I never said
The unpassable bridges of time
That is now passed, that is now vanished.
And I am waiting for the redemption
This small touch that is always late
Traveling on heaven's highway.
The wind is resting outside my window
The wind is resting outside my soul.
I have learned now to stop in front of a red light
To close emotions behind bars of steel.
And as time forgets and lets me go
I am here, in front of this fiery gate
With doors closed.
Dreams walked over me 
Dreams seem to freeze in front of
Those unsaid words
Those lost smiles
Those deprived kisses.
And I know now it is so hard
To leave behind a blaze that could
Set on fire your dry earth
An ocean that could
Travel you to places only waiting for your step.
I believed in the oblivion
In the paradox of the unexpected
But at the corner life was waiting 
To confute me.
The image of the lost dream
Brings me the pain I still try to endure
- A pain with components salt and sugar
Brings me a bittersweet flavor on the lips
The lips I will never taste again.
Into these rainproof silences
I am hiding from the merciless rain
Counting my empty hours.
Somebody has written the same words
Somebody has felt the same.
The Need of exodus.
Divided roads, separate channels 
Through a course 
Without a winner
Without a prize
Without an end.
The color of the rain
Will elevate us
Will make us reach the edge of a cliff
That we would fall together
That I fell alone.
I am looking at the night's emulsion
Expanding to the edge of the dark
While I can not set apart raindrops
From tears.
This rain is washing out
Desires and secrets
The loud silences of my soul.
In my darkest hour
I pray
As time is laying beside me
Spreading my reflection to the world
Comparing a hell to a paradise
Lost.






Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Healing

Father,
Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be.
I am the product of myself and my negativity.
I trust You.
I love You.
I thank You.
In Your name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

Memories Made

The coldest white had fell
Surrounding all the feet of those behind
The day turned into hours
Just in the mind
Did the gift appear in night?
Or were dreams reality?
Did it come from karma’s hands?
It drifts from sanity

The trek towards that happy place
You’ve been there many times
Something was different now
It held a horrible surprise
The box wasn’t full of life and sound
The ashes of memories made were here
Taking longer to twist the knife
Left remains of a child now in tears

Standing still you couldn’t breath
Excuses flying in your mind
Trying to figure out the scene
Hoping there’s time
You look up to see
Expectant eyes for the last time
You wish you could keep
But it’s the saddest of a smile 


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Grip

Future held such initial promise
But shallow dreams disintegrated
Coalescing into shallower reality

Despite my youth, pain cripples me to geriatric apathy
General interest long gone, death has become the single concern
A welcome embrace, a welcome friend
Tardiness is expected, as well as encouraged

Release me from these eternally shrinking walls
Allow the peons to continue their superficial pursuits
Never meshing well into the fold, I yearn simply for permanent isolation
There is not enough joy to justify the agony that life forever guarantees me

Nihilism and anger, desires for maniacal retribution, the only feelings I've ever known
Clouded over now by perpetual physical torment, my formerly hollow shell continues to exist without capacity for optimism
Yet without hate, there seems nothing left
Shall I forever be adrift?


Details | ABC | |

I Can't Believe It's Really Over This Time

I really hate this feeling, sometimes I wish I could stop breathing. I don't wanna try, just leave me here to die. You were the thing that made my life living for, but your no longer mine anymore. I feel so much pain, sometimes I believe I'm going insane. I'm missing what we had, although it was bad. I'm always walking down memory lane, why can't you see my pain? I know people change, &&' things get strange. I guess I gotta face it, she's my new replacment. I can't believe it's really over this time, I feel as if i have commited a crime. I live in a world of sorrow, so I don't ever worry about tomorrow. I didn't even have time to cry, because i had already said bye. I feel like I'm digging a deeper whole, so I'm hoping Jesus will take control. I'm sorry for my dumb mistake, but baby now I'm wide awake.


Details | Free verse | |

The Pain That Traveled Around the World

We share in the sadness.
This unimaginable pain.
Children are not suppose to be taken away.
The school yard is silent
Where has the laughter gone?
The echo of angished spirits crying out to the Heaven
So much has been lost 
First dances
Kisses, hugs
Graduations, Proms
Weddings, grandchildren, future generations lost.
What Gifts will we never see?
Innocence has been snatched from our grasp.
Will we ever be the same?
It is not possible!
Their deaths can not be avenged.
No sense can be made of the senseless.
We cling to our children 
Try to comfort them
Will the victims have any comfort?
Will the World's tears console them?
Will their loss have been in vain?
Lock away the Guns
Change the way we think!
Our rights are secondary to the lives of our children.
Is not one life worth more than our right to bear Arms?
We can decide.
What choice will we make?



Details | I do not know? | |

Burning Flame

Those who confess to have loved and lost is still better than not to have known love,
have obviously never loved at all.
As you awake the image of that person can either soar the soul
or the image can haunt your very existence.
I have loved and I have lost to to my greatest cost.
The pain without you can not be described,
how my heart breaks inside, 
For every time I close my eyes I see your smile,
and a tear rolls down my grief stricken face.
I pray for the pain to stop and to leave this empty shell,
but still it persists like a burning flame,
never to go out to my everlasting pain.

I lay awake each night afraid to close my eyes, afraid to fall asleep,
my dreams are haunted by that which once was.
The pain inside grows stronger with every absent day,
the burning flame fueled by remorse and regret
for those decisions I wish I could forget.
Often do I hear a whisper and glance behind my shoulder,
To only be disappointed,
it is not my loves voice but that of a stranger.
Am I being punished and tortured,
Is the ever burning flame slowly swallowing my sanity,
I have seemed to have lost all integrity.

I awaken again and shout, burning flame please go out,
my cries go unanswered every day, 
oh how I wish I could slip away, 
to dreams forgotten all so far away.
But I know I should let go, and forget for my very soul.
But love is in my heart forever it shall remain,
for no longer do you belong to me,
my heart shall always remain,
to the one that fuels the burning flame.


Details | Verse | |

A Broken Soul

Sadness, anger
Feelings that I hate
But now I see it’s late
I see there’s no way back 
Because strength is what I lack

My soul…it screams, it aches
It fights and it breaks
It breaks into millions of pieces
If I could
I would have fixed this

I sit under the dark sky
Only one word I whisper
“Why?”
The voice of nature echoes it…

I feel the darkness 
The silence
Rise among my eyes
And suddenly I realize
I’m in a pit of lies


Details | Free verse | |

One hour to die

One hour to live, one hour to die
One hour glass there, counting my time
Breathing becomes harder as I’m stuck in this box
Four walls around me; there’s no hole in this wall
Air becomes less, just because of this dress
What am I wearing? Why am I dressed as a doll?
Looked in the mirror; I look like a toy
Face filled with make up; heart filled with fright
There he comes, the evil, brutal beast
Coming to make me suffer; coming to take my life
He stabbed a spindle in my stomach
He stabbed a spindle in my heart
He stabbed and stabbed like if he’s hungry
Quenching his thirst with murder and blood
One hour to live, that hour is gone
An hour glass was counting; it just ran out of sand
There’s no point in trying, there’s no way to survive
There’s no reason to be joyful; there’s no reason to rejoice
There’s only pain within my heart
But relief shall come at the touch of death



By Julie Alcin


Details | Free verse | |

Pain

Lord, take this pain away,
I can't take it any longer,
I thought You said,
All this would make me stronger.
You forgot to mention,
How much it would hurt,
It makes me want to scream,
Into my shirt.
Why do I have to
Go through this again?
It seems to me that
Pain always wins.
Is this a punishment,
If it is, what did I do?
When will the pain,
Ever be through?
Will You ever see a smile,
Appear on my face,
When will I leave,
This painful place?


Details | Free verse | |

teardrops

All the years that we have spent
have brought us to this place
I cast my lonely eyes around
and all they see is empty space.


The tears they gently fill my eyes
like salty dew drops start to fall
they spill and trickle down my cheek
like the morning dew, that trickles 
down, the leaf that turns itself 
upto the early morning sun


I cant explain this pain inside
like someones plunged a knife inside,
to try and take my life from  me
this pain i feel is hard to bear
i feel i want to turn and run

I want my life to be so calm,
for me to be at peace,and know 
I did my very best to try and make it work
I want to feel at ease with life
to take it all in my stride

but,Im sad,and calm eludes
and all I feel is empty and lost.
I long for his arms to wrap around me
and whisper things will be ok
to lay my head against his chest 
and hear the soft thump of his heart

The heart that holds our lives in its hands




Details | Free verse | |

Snail Paced

Lost, empty, dead inside— All typical words of irrational despair Cradled lust Wandering in a foreign land, Dazed and disoriented Crushed and soured in youthful wisdom I wish I had hung on longer… Daisies in the sunlight Him, behind her The most beautifully shaped smile I have ever seen So glad it was all captured in that one photograph Snails crawl down the pavement Trust loses its glamour I am desperate to crawl away from the slime of deception The very slime that I leave behind… Evil overtakes the weak-minded The strong look on, glad it is not them Gargoyles grin in happy anguish Sin is pride There is no room to be the devil’s advocate I cannot be singled out of the sorry crowd anymore I cannot even gather enough thought to write My wings are so wounded, I cannot even bare to think of the possibility of flying So worried, so sad, words largely overlooked So many layers and so many ideas overlooked, Always thought of, but never written down Never coming to light Your dimples make me cry… I am so exhausted I wish to sleep forever My fingers are sore, my pencil is purple I feel like time is losing its meaning It is losing its power among the majority of maggots The wristwatch is pinching me And the hands on the sad clock with Roman Numerals have stopped Maybe the battery has died Mine has not, and yet I am not moving very fast There is no progress here It has been more than five years now Since the day I looked into those green suns of eyes Too long for my liking I would rather feel the darkness, be the darkness But instead I am gray, boring and dull The fact that not one truly cares Does not bother me as much as the smile The smile so far away Alice in Wonderland Caught in a cold, wishing myself better I overwhelm myself to faerie dust Welcome dreams…welcome rest


Details | I do not know? | |

Forget us but not me

You know what
Just forget me, 
being with me, 
nothing good can come through. 
But one thing I promise is, 
I will never ever forget you. 
The memories we shared, 
the time went by too fast. 
They're all a part, 
of my tearful past. 
But we both knew we couldn’t continue, 
under these conditions. 
There was so much love there, 
but too much distance. 
Please forgive me, 
for the choices I’ve made. 
I just want you to be happy, 
but please don't let the memories fade. 
I have cried myself to sleep, 
time and time again. 
And I'm just waiting for the one day, 
that maybe we can be one again. 
It's just right now, 
is no time for pain and love to mix. 
With all the distance and hate from both of out families that was there, 
it's just impossible to fix. 
Maybe we can happen again, 
sometime later in life. 
Just move on for now, 
don't be a sacrifice. 
You are too amazing, 
to lose forever. 
I'm not going to forget about you, 
not now not ever. 
No one knows, 
how much this is actually hurting me.
Free from this pain I call myself, 
is what I wish for you to be.


Details | I do not know? | |

Another Year On

So many things that go around,
Yet in this crowd there is no sound,
The world seams dead and void inside,
And I can’t seem to run and hide.

I hear her screaming out for help,
She gives a final wounded yelp,
She hits the floor and eyes turn black,
Now she knows she can’t turn back.

Those left behind hide up and die,
No one ever wants to cry,
The tears of blood cause too much pain,
Our poisoned hearts are not the same.

As your body dissolves to ash,
The whole world changes in a flash,
No more happiness for us to share,
No more mother to love and care.



Details | Free verse | |

Pawn

And so do I fall, and so do I fail,
Falling so deeply into this destructive void,
Nothing but ash and specs of dust that were once my brittle bones and scarred flesh.

To not know what is ahead,
How maddening! How so distraught have I seemingly become,
Forgotten myself as time has smoothed over me.

Tricky, sly fiend indeed; master and slave a like to us all.

Do I dare move forward into the uncertainty that is humanity and of such society?
So gut wrenching, thoughts filled of bile at what is.

As we all are from and are the same, yet tear limb by limb the essence of ourselves by one another in an endless state of bigotry and violence; so brightly are we bathed in evil.

So easy is it to see.

Miracles; perhaps shall they see fit to carry me away from the void that is, and from such temptation, as to live the rest of days in blissful, stagnant dreams.


Details | Rhyme | |

Kiss Me Mommy

"I shall be telling this with a sigh" 
Robert Frost, The Road Less Travelled. 

I’ve wiped her tears for many years,
through pain and heartbreak, too.
I’ve held her hands and lent an ear,
so tough times she could get through.

I’ve read her stories and sung her songs,
the best a father can.
I know how much her heart has longed
for the touch of a woman.

Her mother died when she was three;
drunk drivers are a curse.
She was gone from our lives quite suddenly -
our broken hearts could not feel worse.

At fifteen years she confessed to me,
with tears rolling down her cheeks:
“I’ve never forgotten the memory
of the last words to her I did speak”

“She was walking out of our front door,
on her way to see a friend;
I said, ‘Mommy please kiss me just once more,
in case I never see you again.’

All these years she carried the guilt
that she somehow contributed to the fate;
And around her emotions a wall was built
but the sorrow and pain became too great.

“And that’s why Daddy, I never kiss you,
when out the door you go every day;
And I thought that now it was time you knew
why I have been acting this way.”

I hugged my daughter and we both did cry,
releasing emotions pent up inside;
And then I helped her wipe them dry
feeling a fatherly pride.

“That last kiss you shared with your mother,
did not send her to her grave;
In fact, I bet she could not have received any other,
better last gift than the one you gave.”

“So when you talk to her in prayer tonight,
let her know that kiss was special for you;
She would help unburden you from this fright
if it were something that she knew.”

by Joe Flach for Constance's "Give me a kiss, Mommy" contest.
Written and posted on 10/5/2011


Details | Rhyme | |

Life is but a song

a thunderous drum beat 
or a sweet soothing melody 
life flows up and down 
like the scales of harmony 

Imagine-John Lennon 

it's never been hard to see 
the pain that resides in me 
for my heart lies upon my sleeve 
Kevlar shirts to keep me warm 
to protect others from a rising storm 
that could easily be unleashed 
transforming man to beast 

Cats and the Cradles-Harry Chapin 

Promises turned to lies 
viewed through blackened eyes 
your oaths I despise 
to love, teach and protect 
became nothing more than neglect 
the mythical part of parenthood 
has always been the word "good" 

A horse with no name-America 

lost without a name 
guilt, shame 
another fault 
to believe in the adult 
as seering hatred burned 
a child learned 
trust must be earned 
carved upon stone 
to atone 
for empty sand 
we didn't understand 
the times 
the crimes 
nor the rhymes 

The Reasons-Earth, Wind, and Fire 

my existence 
the persistence 
of something to give 
a reason to live 
to help others 
sisters and brothers 
sharing, comparing 
our pain 
their rain 
sunny skies 
victorious sighs 
no longer numb 
we have overcome 

Unchained Melody-Al Green 

childhood just a memory 
that disappointed me 
with the pain it brought 
but the lessons wrought 
worth more than gold 
needing to be told 
to let go 
the music like tears 
must flow 

a thunderous drum beat 
or a sweet soothing melody 
life flows up and down 
like the scales of harmony........... 


Details | Rhyme | |

she left him

He's lost and confused and hides behind his smile 
He's afraid and sorry, has felt like this for a while 
The pain he feels is because he never got to say goodbye 
She's gone and wont be back, he wonders why
what's supposed to be the best day of his life is now his worst
No one understands why he runs from it, he tries not to burst 
Most can't see but a few can tell
He used to feel on top of the world and within a few seconds he fell
it came and went so fast, it's just a blur 
he can't let go, spends his days missing her
He's trapped in his head, can't find his way out 
a couple people know what it's about 
He doesn't and will never understand, to him its a curse 
day after day, the pain gets worse
he holds his head up high
deep inside he's so frustrated, tries not to cry 
all i can do is be the best niece that i can be 
and stand in the sidelines and wait for the day when my uncle breaks down and really needs me


Details | Rhyme | |

bloody red roses part 2

     She lies in a pile of bloody red roses

She left a note to her folks  saying

" I cant go on im sorry"

      It didnt say why

But still we cry

      We are all very sad

some of us are mad

       none of us are glad

She'll b greatly missed

        To me she was like a sis

But when will the rumors stop

        Noone knows the truth not even the cops

My pain is great 

       I wish we hadnt been late

But when we got there 

        there she lay 

on her already made bed of

Bloody red roses


Details | Haiku | |

Midnight

The lamp light illuminates My messy bedroom And brings me joy to my heart The lamp light turns off quickly The mellow midnight Has revealed its pure beauty The door opens and welcomes The priceless sunrise And inspires me to write poems The morning greets me again The lovely stars dim I miss the midnight wonders!


Details | Free verse | |

Beloved Friend I Have Fallen

An angel, cradles me, in her motherly arms
I have fallen, I am venerable 
I told myself, I would not do this, no more
I have failed to keep my promise, to you
I have not stayed true
Tears flowing, as I smile, just, for you!
Remembering the times, when you cupped my face, in your hands
Your blue eyes, gazing into mine
Telling me with sincerity
‘I am the sunshine, that lights up your world, each day that dawns’
My heart aches, it rains with love, having fond memories of us
Wash me clean, being human, is challenging me!
Emotional bondage, creating blocks
I need to move on, you are dead and buried
Your time here, over
My heart struggling, accepting this reality
“Forgive me”
I pray to be free!
“I Love you, my beloved, friend”


Details | I do not know? | |

Within Me


Within Me

Flowing through the rivulets of my everyday thoughts,
memories of you surface, gasping for air, breathing in,
permeating, absorbed by the pores of my ageing skin.

Famished, greedily gulping mouthfuls of fractured life,
awash in distant yesteryear, when your feathery kisses,
banished the vacuum, dispelling my anguish and strife.

You are eternally carved, and embroidered into my soul,
I wash ashore, smashing against the boulders of the now,
seeking solace, begging for absolution with my empty bowl.

The book of fate is sealed shut, the tea-leaves have been read,
nothing remains within me, the burden of smiling has been shed.

Now I am stranded, between dreams and the empty years ahead,
searching for forgiveness, in the miles I have yet to wearily tread.



Details | Verse | |

He Knows

What words can I use to ease the pain you carry in your heart,
It saddens me to see you suffering in a world gloomy and dark.
    All your days are filled with thoughts of  worries and guilty feelings,
From dusk till dawn you go on and on but your life has no meaning.
   These twisted ideas of your misunderstood emotions driving you insane,
Night after night you will toss and turn thinking  you are the blame .
   There was nothing more we could do that would have changed that day,
It was his time and we had no choices because that is just Gods way .
   You must remember  he was never alone no matter  what you may remember,
Please get by this and get on with your life and forget that day in late September.
   How angry he would be if  he was here and saw how you  have not moved on,
That's something we know he would say by telling you that you are wrong.
   I can't imagine him ever wanting you to stop living after he had passed away,
Don't be a fool wasting your life thinking about me that's what he would  say.
   How do I help make it better for you so there is no more pain ,
First you must stop feeling it's your fault and stop taking the blame .
   Get out of this  cold dark and lonely place start living your life,
Move on to better days where you will sleep through the nights.
   He has never left you and has been here beside you all along,
Here to help you to get on with your life now that he is gone.
   It's your happiness that has him trapped here in our time ,
He will move on to where he must be once he is out of your mind.
   Think only of the good things and the love that was always there,
You never have to worry anymore he has always known you cared .
   Please do this for me so you can see you will alwys be daddy's girl,
I need you back the way you were which was a part of my world.
Tac



Details | Free verse | |

Reflections of Love

I need to heal and fast,
I can feel the time running out, all too soon.
But can't push myself out of the agony,
The threads of pain pull me back like a puppet.
 
I seem wrong to be grieving now, odd one!
Everybody else is no longer black,
Me, haven’t seen the sunlight for long;
The mansion, its corridors, the rooms  now my world.
 
The wound in my heart is still too fresh,
It forbids me from a sunset on the beach,
It forbids me from running or skipping,
It forbids me from laughter and joy...
 
In denial: they say but it's not all true, I accept
I know he is dead, He is no more
But do I dump him in my past and move on?
The thought makes me hate myself!
 
He would want you to smile again, live further..
Strangers tell me his likes and wants, the know-it-alls.
I look straight ahead and avoid their prying eyes
It’s a losing battle, I know but let me lose in grace...
 
Visitors keep pouring in, with flowers and tears.
He was a man loved by many, the crowd proves it,
Everybody seems shocked and pale but not as lost as me
I glide along the windows, reliving the shadow of memories...
 
The moments were many, uncountable even,
It crushes my soul to think, they are all I have,
I see his fingerprints on the window panes,
I search for mine too, just beside him they lay...
 
The garden is being watered, but by a strange hand
The plants understand the master is now below them, 
He will never enjoy their colors or drive away moths
His ashes and scent scattered around the mango tree..
 
I smile at the garden then burst out laughing,
Before I know, warm tears run down my nose
But there still lingers a smile, wet with glistening tears
I am happy he lived, he lived full and more...


Details | Light Poetry | |

Down and Out

How I hate the way I feel today,
   I just want everything to go away.
Don't know if I am angry or sad ,
  All I know is that it feels real bad.
Everything is so mixed up inside ,
  Confused by it all I just want to cry.
Closing my eyes trying to get some rest,
   Doesn' help much getting only moments at best.
Hoping for nightfall is what I want now,
   Praying tomorrow will be better some how.
How I hate these days when I am down ,
   Wishing nobody would ever come around.
Asking myself why I am in this mood,
   What will it take to change my attitude.
Surely there is something to make me smile,
   I wonder if there is because it's been awhile.
Reading the book to maybe see my way through,
   It doesn't help either I am still feeling blue.
Listening to others and what they have to say,
   Changes nothing at all I still feel this way.
Why are there days I feel so down and out ,
   Makes me want to just scream and shout.
Wait for the morning sunrise is what I'll do,
   Possibly then I will be able to talk to you.
Oh how I do not like the way I feel today,
   It's just the worst ever feeling this way.
TAC


Details | Prose Poetry | |

My Bleeding Heart

My heart is bleeding and I don't know why

My heart is beating can't you hear it cry

My heart is broken can't you see it split

My heart is torn, torn to bits

My heart is vengeful and it has no regrets

My heart is soulless and it needs to be put to rest

My heart is useless cause you choose somebody else

My heart is frozen from everyone else

My heart is black

My heart is cold 

My heart can't let you go

My heart will wave goodbye 

My heart sank for the last time.....


Details | Free verse | |

Where Are You When I Need You

Don’t pretend to understand me
When your frustration and anger, comes first
Don’t pretend to nod and listen
When all you hear, is what you want
You treat me as if I am a brainless idiot!
Blaming me because I don’t agree with you
Because I won’t let you control me
I am a big girl living an independent life
So, don’t pretend to know how I feel
When you only believe the lies you convince yourself, I am

Don’t say you love me, when your ego takes precedence over my feelings
Dreaming of what you want us to be
Dreaming of me, from a far
Leaving me alone, to problem solve, on my own
I do this to show I care
To show you I am responsible
All I want is for us to be on the same page, sharing our love again
Laughing, kissing
I need your love and attentiveness
I need to feel your nurturing warmth
Instead of taking it away from me
Knowing my vulnerabilities
Deliberately hurting me
You told me you were my knight in shining armour
Where are you, when I need you?


Details | Lyric | |

I've Got Pain Inside, But No One Cares

When you smile at me i laugh at you
When you laugh at me i smile back
I try and hide the pain and agony I feel
So i left this earth and went to Mars
to live closer to the lovely stars;
you might not think it's true

You say you know me 
you act like you know me
you even talk like you do,
but that's not true

You talk about me like you know me from deep inside
you have even tried to have that denied
but sooner or later i'm gonna die
and no one will care

To you and them it doesn't matter anymore
'Cause I'll be under the soiled floor
I'll be forgotten;

never spoke of
I'll be hurt and killed because of love
no one will miss me 
i'll die with no one's sympathy
they won't even ask what happened to me

Livin' alone i think i hate myself
It's like i'm on the top of a never-ending bookshelf
feelin' as if i'm gonna fall any second now
I'm gonna die and won't remember how

I'm sayin' to the world "good-bye"
now i'm gonna ask you this:

Can ya hear my shouts and cries 
can ya see the tears in my eyes 
can ya hear, can ya see, can you feel me?

baby, please...help me
take the pain away
so i'll never deal with it for
another day


Details | I do not know? | |

Feelings of Pain

The pain that i am feeling is caused without reasons,night after night and seasons after seasons. This pain that I'm feeling is not as bad,I have seen others lose all they had.I sometimes wonder, would that happen to me? Then i begin to tremble thinking, will i ever be free? This pain has my heart hurting, longing for the love i never had. Where will i ever find love with a heart this sad? The pain that i am feeling...I'm not only feeling for me,it's the pain of my love ones who is hurting inside of me. Feelings of pain i feel no more as you look into the eyes of a soul once torn.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Behind it all

What I feel inside is something I usually hide
No one sees the tears behind my smile,
the sadness behind the jokes
or the pain behind my eyes

What I think about is for me to know
and for everyone else, just a question
I don't show emotions, so everyone thinks  I'm fine
Even though there's so much more then the happy girl

On the outside, everything is fine
But once you look inside...
You'll see where the pain comes from
But you won't be able to tell, behind my angel smile 


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Well, Oh Well

I’m tired in this drop
The walls are all the same
I’m soaked now

In the midst of deteriorating
It hurts more than normal
I think it’s broken

The light up top is gone now
Just like the one down here
Oh well…  oh well.

The love inside the teardrops
Has turned to the coldest rain
Now there’s just the pain

It’s settled in my chest
Eating at my insides
Feeding at the dead lives

The end will not come quickly 
Not even quietly
For now, I just sigh at thee


Details | Free verse | |

Sepia stained tears

Sunglass water pails
The cover up, never fails
Draining water from her 
Heartbroken pools
A screaming silence
Blocked behind her 
Tinted view
With a blink, rivers flow
She is lost and all alone
Who is there ?
When there is nobody else
Beside her.

She feels
As separated as her tears
As they are falling
Hope disappears
Collecting pain
Where the hazel pools drain
In her
Sunglass water pails..


Details | Ballad | |

Jock

Jock.

Now Jock he was a friend of mine
In those good old army days
When teenage boys were herded in
And made to change their ways
He told me one fine summer’s day
With a big blue sky above
"I'm glad that I'm a soldier boy
This army life I love".

They shipped him off to good old Nam
Placed a rifle in his hands
And said "now you're a soldier boy
I hope you'll understand
We're fighting those old Vietcong
You've got to see us right
You don't know what it's all about!!!
Nor us, just go and fight"

Poor Jock ain't with us any more
God bless his poor old mum
Our lad he was a forward scout
No use his bloody gun
As the flying metal put him down
Our jock the hero died
As politicians wined and dined
So many tears were cried.


Details | Free verse | |

A Rich Tribute

Mother Teresa been a historical,
and an important,
and a humble figure,
as she had dedicated her life for the poor and the needy indeed, 
the best tribute one can give her is by quoting a single quote of her,
out of the many though, 
the one mentioned below seems to be more precise,
in today’s world,
“Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given”
Today,
in the rush of acquiring money,
many have forgotten this lovely aspect,
the aspect of love,
which is much greater than money,
and had crossed a number of boundaries,
from times immemorial,
today jealousy, selfishness, greed have taken over love,
wherein money is not that great,
than love itself,
as love is like a ‘Can’,
which can be filled from the top to the bottom,
unlike money,
which needs to be filled from the bottom instead,
love is greater than money indeed,
as we do love our Gods,
our wives,
the children,
whether they be ours,
or of others,
without distinguishing between their caste, creed, colour,
Love is indeed greater,
as we love the newborns born into this world,
our friends ,
wherein love can also help us to defeat our enemies too,
without love,
no one can progress on,
and neither the countries too,
Therefore love is greater than money indeed!!

'Quote and Author':-
“Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given”- Author: 'Mother Teresa'


Details | I do not know? | |

WHO AM I AND WHY AM I ME

WHO AM I AND WHY AM I ME

When I wake in the mornings to look at my day
I have to start out pushing my pain away

I know I have problems that I have to fight
But a person like me sometimes can’t sleep all night

I was in a wreck when I was 15 and I saw the light
I heard God say to me, it’s not my time, I wonder why he was right

So why did I live I don’t understand but I guess God knows why
Because he is the main man

I feel all people see is the beauty on the outside 
But they have no idea of all the pain I hide on the inside

I would walk for miles to help someone live 
Just to know they had smiles to give

I have always believed everything is meant for a reason
My pain is real and hard to describe, but God can change a season

Maybe the abuse that I went through is the reason 
I do what I do.  But that’s not a excuse to people that love you

It’s amazing to me how the world works in a mysterious way 
Because for me I have to wonder why I am here day to day

When I leave this world I hope I have done what was meant for me.  That is the 
reason we are all here is to be all we can be

Sometimes I have to cry, sometimes just be alone, and sometimes I have to scream 
at the unknown
It’s a pain within ourselves that no one can see, but it can hurt like hell sometimes 
to have to be me

I don’t understand my thoughts and why I feel this way 
But God had his reason for me in that wreck that day

I have a wonderful family, and I love them all so much and they love me.  So who 
am I and what am I suppose to be.

I am so sorry for the pain I have cause all of my loved ones but I feel deep inside 
you understand what is going on

The pain inside of me is from my soul, day to day I never know
You can’t understand it until you feel the pain I don’t show

I will fight to the end for the reason I am here, to be all I can be and I will be strong 
enough to see why I am me

When I go to bed I will defiantly pray that while I am a sleep God will give me a 
better next day.

I want others to know it’s not all just me, I just want to know who we are and we 
are suppose to be

I am going to sleep now because I am tired, but the women I was today, tomorrow 
will be retired.

All I want to know in life is who I am and why I am me, God didn’t say when he 
shined that light for only me to see


Cindy Malony


Details | Free verse | |

The Past

I want to watch you bleed,
and I know you've thought of it too
I can feel the ache in your heart,
and the questions that stir inside
Like why should you still feel this way?
You have no reason
I can feel the knife twist in your ribs
Everytime you dig up your past
You do this to yourself time and time again
Every time,
and every time it's your fault
I know where you hide the blades
for moments like this
When you let it overflow
and overwhelm and consume you
He doesn't deserve you
You're damaged property
How could you think you'd ever be worthy of someone like him?
You don't even deserve to lick the scum off his shoes
You still mope about like a little *****
You cling to your past and let it define you
and you can't let go
like a little girl with her teddy
You let a monster define you
You let your past define you
You do this to yourself over and over again
Ripping open old scars
Adding new wounds
Because you won't leave the past where it's best left
Behind you
You won't leave your cocoon
Even though he's desperately trying to help pry you out
You won't let go
You'll let the past overtake and overwhelm you
You don't deserve a savior like him


Details | Tail-rhyme | |

HOURS OF THE NIGHT

Wishing my yesterdays had never came to pass , the lonliness that tomorrow will bring and another hard night is in sight .
How my memories creep through my mind , remembering what I've lost and what was left behind.
Wisdom they say comes with time,Understanding is always a good sign.Pretending I'm still that man still loving you so blind.
Am I okay ? Will I be alright ?Maybe you should stay for just this one night .
You have to help me now, Please stay , it will make things alright . I just need a moment to make this all stop some how ,
It's so important that I be heard . You'll know exactly my meaning once you've heard these words.
 I have turned that corner now and there's really no reason to go back. Nobody there wants to know just where I'm at .
This life of mine I had given to you ,has lost the destination , a new route I must persue.
With all of me I have loved you my dear this you know with out any doubt .
As the hours of the night turn to morning , it's you I am without.
My days begin with sadness and a smile is nowhere about , and this missing you goes on each and every day, 
you can hear the breaking of my heart ,that is what they all say,
It's a pain so cruel and deep you can hear it breaking out loud. My empty arms are missing you and the tears I have cried ,
now that you are nowhere to be found.
 TAC


Details | Rhyme | |

Insensitive


Insensitive In my mind's state ultimately, this was the reality. Either I kill the pain or let the pain kill me. I chose the 1st, and I'll tell you 1st. It’s no way to live. Now it’s later and I’ve become completely insensitive.


Details | I do not know? | |

Young Heart

From my youth,
I knew no goodness 
Teach me His truth
So that I will meet success

I hope I'm making little progress

From my youth,
I knew very little at first
Teach me Your truth 
Or I'll remain in thirst

I thirst for His spirit - to renew my faithfulness

I have a nourished heart
But, evilness broke it apart
I had an energetic soul  
But agony took its toll 

And now I pray
To Him who mends us all
To save my young heart
From the fear of losing control...

Do I still have an innocent, 
Young heart? 


Details | Rhyme | |

Lies

What can you say to me that I haven’t already heard?
You haven’t even said anything, but I know your every word.
You’ll tell me that you love me; you’ll tell me that you care;
You’ll tell me that through anything, you will always be there.

I believed it once, a long time ago, 
On a star filled night like this.
You told me you loved me more then anything, 
But I never felt it in your kiss.

Why is it I still dream of you?
I can’t get you off my mind,
But the love you claimed so strongly before,
I still cannot find.

I think about you every moment, 
But you don’t even see,
The pain you caused so long ago,
Still hasn’t let me be.

I need to leave this all behind,
A life of pain and sorrow.
So save all your wasted words,
For the girl you’ll love tomorrow.


Details | Couplet | |

Then and now {Double Posting}

               {Then}

I welcome you all to the dance
A place where souls are held in trance
Destiny is our truest fate
Taking your soul will feel great
I was born unto this life
To distribute pain and strife
There is nothing you can do
I shall have this dance with you
As we dance across the floor
I shall show you what destiny is for
You can try with all your might
I will have this dance tonight
As we dance you should know
I will crawl up in your soul
So take my hand and join the dance
I hold your soul in my trance
No need to try and run away
With your soul I shall play
By the time I am through
Nothing that you can do
For I shall leave you like a shell
As I take your soul with my spell
There is nothing like a dark romance
So will you please join the dance?
         
                      {Now}

Beauty can be rated by so many things
Like the noise birds make as they sing
Beauty is a flower growing from a seed
It also is a baby tender with its needs
If a person takes the time to look around
There is so much beauty on this earth to be found
Beauty can be a mountain all covered up with snow
Or it can be firelight with its entrancing glow
One thing in my life I have come to know
No beauty is as beautiful as the beauty of the soul
 

I posted this this way to show how
much poetry has changed me. I
guess now you understand why
I wanted to bury them old poems.
Sometimes like right now I just
can't help but cry for my pain is
very deep.










Details | Rhyme | |

The Night Dad Died

There are those moments that stay with us forever
stuck in time, we will forget them never

The night I picked up the phone, it was late
how could this be his fate?

I drove and on my way I got a flat tire
this seemed a cruel and divinely planned satire

The tow truck man could not remove the lug nuts
Almost midnight now and I thought he was a putz

When mom's door opened there were swollen eyes
I was the strong one to my surprise

We made the plans and bought the box
I look back now and know I was still in shock

My hair came out in clumps as I showered
Being strong and holding it in was not making me feel empowered

Then about three months later it hit me like a wall
my father was gone, I would not see him at all

I had not cried at all until that day
It seemed I could not stop now to my dismay

My words of wisdom to pass on to you my friend
Tell those you love how you feel every now and again.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

This Basement Of Ours

We never enter the basement.
It is a place of horrors, fears, and sorrows.
Our basement is a black door surrounded by the fogs of mystery, chilled with neglect.
I've seen it once, this basement of ours.
I felt its chill, at first what I saw was unknown. It was another world, a new land, unlike anything I'd ever seen.

This basement of ours was dark, it was a place where the black sun hung high, it has a warm hypothermic kiss to the surface of the skin. I saw ravens flying, riding on the wings of burnt and unopened love letters, frames of a talented and widely loved young wolf gone omega.

Here in this world I feel the weight of silence. It rains silence, blanketing what was once golden. It fills my nose with every breath. A I sift through this place, wipe away the residue of silence and time, I see frozen moments, temporary forevers. I see pictures, what this land might have been.

I've seen many things in this basement. But in this moment that seemed to last forever, I found quite a find. I found a find that intrigued me down to the deepest recess of my mind.

It was on the outskirts of this wasteland. Covered in silence, it lay beneath dancing weavers weaving silk bed traps. What I found was a product of the twisted oak, carved with the legacies of the natives, the light in a dark world.

It was a chair, a rocking chair. A chair placed by the window yet untouched by the sun. A chair I'd heard stories about, a chair that had lived a long life, raising small children now grown. Yet her sweet whispering allure called to me.

On it I read stories of the seasons, from the blazing summer sun, to the frozen winter nights. It had curves as the hills in Italy, depicting the wild horses that roam. This land of silence and pain now turned loud, deafening with the questions and thoughts racing through my mind.

Where was it made? How did it get here? When did its journey end? Why was it forsaken? But most of all, What was this place? This land I found now stuck in time. This land full of things now covered in silence, wrapped in pain and mystery.

I hear footsteps, up in the world above. They call out to me, time has come rushing back. This wasteland will return to silence. I never forgot that place, now grown, my children will soon discover that land. They will journey for the answer to what lies below. I found the answer. This place, this is the place of lost sons, broken dreams, and bad memories.


Details | Blank verse | |

Alone With No Sense Of Direction

I am a lost person, but I am not alone.
I make choices in my life and I choose to let go.
I need a change of space, and my lyrical notes,
The beauty and the face should fade, but more I want to grow.
The nobility in life is sad, when madness is a nuisance and insanity a fad.
I have some regrets, some I can't forget,
but If I can't forgive myself, then who will forgive my sins?
I'll give it my all, and pray I win.
I'll keep my heart locked and throw away the key,
never let anyone inside, so I can remain free.
Can I question a higher power, or would I be dead,
The scum of the earth, creating poetry that is read,
by the mindless masses, blaming the heart to death,
I hope this will heal me, burning the past, 
The beauty in the innocence, never really lasts.
I have a feeling tonight will open my eyes, 
and guide me too the light instead of lies.
I'm praying to god that you are how I think you are,
because I need compassion, not just a broken heart.
I don't know why I like you, but you seem to close to part.
Please don't leave me here, surrounded in the dark.


Details | Lyric | |

A Resolute Parasite

You my friend are all around.
Feasting and nourishing, and setting your grounds.
Within the hearts and souls of many you blossom.
Is it I or do you seek out happiness and wash’em.
Wash’em out of every modest soul, yes you do,
No looking back, no check, no approve.
Ways to destruct lives you ponder upon, you brood .
I hear the pain, shaken up inside of you.
The seas shall rise, and doubt what once seemed true.
The anger inside of you is like a volcano on the verge of eruption.
I hearken to the ache in that once harmonic voice. 
That is now, only to me perceived as a melody of a shattered soul.
It is a hidden forlorn song, yes it is
Your pain, you veiled from the world
But my friend, I am here, do please unfold!
Unfold your pain to me, let it be ours, let it be free!
Let me act as an avenging angel
That sweeps your pain and sorrows of yesterday
And creep in better tomorrows 
Do not frown upon a broken heart, or a departed lover
Let not that pain upon your shoulder hover
I beg both of thee, unfold your pain to me, let it be ours, let it be free
Together we shall drive a dagger straight to its heart
Straight in to that parasites heart, we shall slay, 
For within these boundaries no parasites as the like of this, shall stay
So my friend, I beg thee, do unfold your pain to me
Let it be ours
Let it be free



--------------------------------M.M.M--------------------M.M.M---------------------------------------------


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten Promises


Another Christmas is coming
A new year will begin
I am looking through the window
Watching people under the snow

Some are with family, cooking and eating
Some are in the street, walking and shopping
Some are at home cleaning and decorating
Some are with friends packing and traveling

Everything seems fine
but when I look again …

Some are hungry, looking for food
Some are homeless, shivering in the cold
Some are lonely, sitting with sadness
Some are in pain, mourning for a loss

Another Christmas is coming
A new year will begin
I am thinking to myself
Is this the world we promised to build?

What happened to our world?
What happened to us?
What is going on?
Did we forget our promises?

We promised to NOTICE
We promised to ADJUST
We promised to PROTECT
Then why so much RAVAGE?

We promised to CARE
We promised to CARESS
We promised to FEED
Then why so much HUNGER?

We promised to RECEIVE
We promised to RELIEVE
We promised to FORGIVE
Then why so much REVENGE?

We promised to RESPECT
We promised to APPRECIATE
We promised to LOVE
Then why so much HATRED?

We promised to COMMUNICATE
We promised to COMPREHEND
We promised to CONNECT
Then why so much DISUNITY?

Another Christmas is coming
A new year will begin
How is it going to end?
What to promise again?


Details | Free verse | |

Gone

It was yesterday evening that you left
You walked out that door and never even looked back.

I stood there just staring for longer than I know
You were gone, you left, and my heart is now cold.

Several days go by and I realize
That you were my life, my soul, my sense of myself.
Without you I am lost and broken.
I have no purpose, no aim, no goal, no destination.
The way you left me, Boy, you left me broken.
Though really, my love, that need not be spoken.

I want you back, I need you here with me.
I need you baby boy to return to functionality.
Come back, come be by my side. Come and kiss my pain goodbye.
Be with me, sweet precious, and kiss my pain goodbye


Details | Ballad | |

To give you up

To give up the pain and sorrow 
The tears and lonely sad nights 
The arguments and misunderstandings. 

To have you 
That is the best thing ever 
That is the best feeling of possession there is 
The one thing that makes me smile 24/7. 

I don't want to give you up 
I just want the fights to go 
The misunderstandings to get understood 
The tears to slowly disappear 
The frowns to slowly turn to smiles 
Sad nights to be cuddled in. 

I need you next to me, 
But I don't need your pain and hurt. 

Come back to me, 
Maybe not. 
It seems you don't care.


Details | Rhyme | |

And So- To Sleep




As I close the curtains on wavering thoughts,
How did you bare the pain of your body’s conflict?
The mirror on the wall captures a picture of my hurt,
Tears fall as I wait for the mists of my pain to lift.

So many answers needed but now laid to rest,
My confusion as to “Why You?” never known.
Expectance the only option, for what else is there?
Solutions like an hour glass, empty and long gone.

Left shocked and broken, when reality hit home,
The battle within you raged, way out of your control.
A parasitic army draining you of strength and life,
Your loss leaves me numb right through to my soul.

As others watched helpless, you were falling,
Into the waiting arms of a better place.
Where pain and illness will never touch you,
I hope you smiled as you gave into it’s embrace.

We’ll all miss you, but know you will be smiling,
You will be remembered with love in our hearts.
At night I will always have a thought for you,
I will look for your face in the stars.

©.L.Kelly


Details | Free verse | |

Eric -RIP-

Why did you leave?
Oh companion of mine
Why did you leave?
Twas it really your time? 
Did you see no point in staying 
another measly day? 
By my side if you were oh the 
things I would say! 
Judge you, I would not
Tis not in my nature
The emptiness I feel from your 
passing measures to that of a 
crater
A bullet took your life
One blast and it's through
What pains me to know is the 
gun was held by you
All you left behind was a note 
for family and friends
Inscribed were many ' I love 
you's ' 
And your deep heartfelt 
amends
No need to say sorry
For you lived a full life
I shall always remember this 
through the pain, struggles, 
and strife
'You don't know what you got 
until what you got is no more'
Oh how this saying is true!
As the tears stream my face 
and I reminisce of you
With anger in our eyes and 
pain in our hearts
We lay you to rest
Hoping that solace will 
overflow in our lives
We miss you Eric 
This is in plain black and white
Had we the power we'd wish 
you back to life
I take comfort in knowing one 
day we'll meet again
Beyond the pearly gates 
reunited  as friends
This is NOT goodbye
Only a brief farewell
When shall we meet again?
Only time will tell


Details | Lyric | |

Hard Tymes

Its hard to keep my head held high
when my soul is drowning in sorrow
greatful for each day
but hate to see what comes tomorrow
when I look in the mirror
my eyes are filled with self hatred
thinking of all my situations 
rushing, and now I see I'm impatient
day in day out
I started to have dangerous thoughts
so its me; good vs. evil
its the battle that has to be fought
and the more I reach for success
the more they shut the doors
I use to feel the pain from it
but now I don't feel the hurt no more
maybe cause I'm popping pills like its crazy
using LSD cause I'm depressed
why  would I stop there? 
I drink V.S.O.P. to relieve the stress
and as much as I pray for something good
and I hope for the best
still nothing comes up 
and my faith grows less
maybe I'm doing drugs and alcohol
cause I feel I have nothing left
but still I feel better than you
cause you hide it and I let it off my chest


Details | Rhyme | |

THE UNWANTED RISE OF TEARS

My own downfall,
being with no malice of intent.
the gravity of being born with no force,
my soul even wanders beyond my spirit.
shame of uncleanliness;
guilt of unworthiness,
troubles of accepting,
missing pieces that can't be held together.
troubles with sanity,
sometimes roughing it out to tip of the edge of reasoning.
no rest for the weary,
thanks!, things couldn't get any tougher than this.
mentality co-existing with no hope of success,
unwanted failures and regrets slowing me down until it all ends.


Details | Personification | |

LIFE

Life is an everyday struggle, a struggle that never ends where people die and children cry 
and you learn to just pretend. Pretend that you are happy. Pretend that everything is ok. 
Pretend that this crap is normal, when you know its not suppose to be this way. They said 
God only gives you what you can handle, well I wish he dint trust me so much. Cause eve 
been strong for way too long and at this point rim about to bust. Over 10 years i was held 
captive in that belly of the beast but that has no comparison to the pain eve endured on 
those streets. My precious family dying off 1 by 1, so tragic, so painful i just want to run. I 
cant run to my mom God took her to heaven too, since she has been gone i just dolt know 
what to do. A piece of me died with her, rim no longer whole...i loved my mom with all my 
heart and soul. She wasn't the perfect mother but shes all i knew, mommy if you can hear 
me, I love you.Tell Aunt Lisa i love her and im sorry she left this world in so much pain since 
shes been gone no one is the same. She didn't deserve to be taken out in that horrific way 
but dont worry they are all gonna pay. Life doesn't get any easier, its an everyday struggle, 
it never ends...Where people die and children cry and you learn to just pretend.


Details | Rhyme | |

How Much Longer Will I Last

Will my life last, much longer?
What am I doing?  I began to wonder…

Many things keeps dragging
 me further down…
What’ll I do?  There’s no one around???

Many “things” have 
  a hold on me…
I cry every night…  I want to be FREE!

I’ve tried and tried…  But to no avail…
Just when I think I have victory…  I fail!

I’ve read in scripture of a power
 I haven’t seen.
I read of a lord who
 can do ANYTHING!

I’m going to give him a try! 
 I’ve nothing to lose!
I’ve been so hurt, worn out and abused!.…

To you, dear Jesus… 
 I confess my every sin.
I can feel your love
 from deep within!

Thank you Jesus! For giving
 me a joy I never knew…
I don’t know where I’d be if not for YOU!

You’ve brought to my life
 a peace I never had.
For all you’ve done for me.  I’m so glad!

Won’t YOU give your burdens
 to the one, I call friend?
And experience the joy of being born again?

Please come to him now!  
Why not this hour?
And experience his life-changing power!

By Jim Pemberton  


Details | I do not know? | |

Bittersweet Wisdom

Death, in its unhurried wisdom,
ends all doubt and sorrow.
It is a lasting remedy for all
Illness, insecurity, and loneliness;
The finality of it ends all pain with
a sweetness not otherwise known.
Its sweetness is known only by those,
who in their passing have smelled its fragrance.
The pain of those left behind has a
fragrance all its own, a bittersweet
emanation that assails the senses with
its pungency. The strength of the void,
left by the passing of one loved,
seems endless. Time and faith,
working in unison, will lessen the
strength and fill the void.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Day I Almost Died

Life carried on brushing up pain Each day I could hardly remain Darkness seemed to be my only course As I falter and enter ultimate remorse I could not see what's going on before me As life seemed dim I could hardly see There only seemed to be one way out Only one that I have known about Sleeping pills were taken extremely All at once, I was feeling sleepy In a last minute impulse I called emergency They swiftly came as I was quickly Fading fast from this course of reality I was nodding off to sleep completely They kept me barely awake to the hospital Where I was contorted to spill all I was gagged forcefully as darkness came Awakened again to find more pills taken My throat agonized with pain within From the horrible gagging motion Pill after pill flowed out of my mouth As I neared closer to oblivion, further south Finally I was allowed to sleep My dreams now were mine to keep When I awoke people surrounded me Looking very worried, disappointed really I had survived the attempt on my life A fear I will always remember, the strife Now the world is back into my life again The pain is seemingly always pounding within Worry is written all over my family Fear escapes my mother’s eyes completely They do many tests to see if I’m stable Then the diagnosis is depression, certifiable Therapists become a part of my new life All present and accounted for, no new strife Things weren’t anywhere near like they were When everything was dark, fearful for sure I hated life, it was lifeless, demure Then it seemed I had the perfect cure But life chose me, and I survived Now things work simply and I thrived I had the presence to make the best Of what life brings, to take in the rest I hold dear now all things that this life brings A warm feeling comes when fear is fleeting A perfect happiness comes from simplicity Bringing complexity down to earth sincerely Love came swiftly with joy in the heart Never felt more pure, never to be torn apart Now that I had survived the brush of death I now take pleasure in each and every breath This is what happens sometimes when death knocks And life gets switched around, time tick-tocks Now since the terror has come and gone Joy and pleasure have arrived as one The future now looks a lot greater Now that death will be a lot later
Russell Sivey Entrant into Richard Tarr's "suicide survivor" contest 11/12/2012


Details | Quatrain | |

The Tome

There are books that come from many genre Some that create sorrow and painful scars Yet others where the author spells out love Where love is surely written in the stars There is a tome of emotions prepared Written by some great poets of the heart Each poem shows a certain eloquence A piece of feelings that’s sure to impart Some passages are of sadness and pain Others carries some lines of compassion All of these put inside a single book From the greatest of love to full passion This is an example of what exists A beautiful book that’s enjoyable Poets that write directly from the heart All of which is pure and sure loveable
Russell Sivey


Details | I do not know? | |

Port of Call

Port of Call


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

with the breath of the ocean a caressing balm,
soothing pained memories away,
to the swaying of a solitary palm.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

feeling the brushing away of all past turmoil,
on a quest for solace, ever so hard to find,
yet comforted by the crashing of the waves,
as the tide cleanses all pain,
and leaves despair far, far behind.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

drenched in a sea-breeze of mist,
that hushes the ache of bygone moons,
tasting the salty tang on my lips,
as the burnished sun,
over the distant horizon,
swoons,

and dips.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

searching, ever searching,
for a slice of solitude,
as memory bids a final adieu,
reaching under the sea so vast,
and seeking comfort in the depths,
while embracing,
the tomorrows to come,
wishing that they be true.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

seeing my truths drown,
as they slip beneath the turquoise waters,

feeling my heart ablaze,
with a passion that rarely falters.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

yet knowing that I am home at long last,
wishing the waves would wash away,
the defences that once stood,
like an impregnable wall.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

I have found, at long last,

my final port of call.


Details | I do not know? | |

Parallel Lines

I am lost, and broken,

trapped alone,
in a foggy crevasse,

wedged between sanity | madness | anguish.


I lose, and break,

memories taunting,
my waking thoughts,

stripping me bare | naked | exposed.


I survive, barely breathing,

slipping deeper,
into nothingness,

feeling little | shattered | numb.

I am incomplete, without you,

broken and fatigued,

gnawed by emptiness | desolation | pain.


I persist, each breath futile,

crushed, yet alive,
comforted knowing only,

that you breathe | you live | and you love.




Details | Free verse | |

My Shadow



Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity.

No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me.

Even the brightest sun doesn’t destroy you, you only exist because of me.

All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.



Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Nobody Can

There is nobody in this world knows how I am feeling right now,
Trying to  get it to all  make some kind of sense from it  some how.
   Filled with deceptions and lies leaving me nothing for me to find,
One memory there is that is truly real cause there's none in my mine.
   This sickening feeling overwhelms me making me cold to my soul,
I am surrounded by gloom and sadness the worst I've ever known.
   How is it I am to suffer like this for loving with all my heart ,
Always protecting you and always been the light in your dark.
   Why me with the love so true and a honest soul  feel such pain,
I should feel the Sunshine in my life not tears that fall like rain.
   Was it the  blindness caused by her natural beautey and tender words,
Or is it that I have lied to myself for so long it was almost absured.
   Difficult for me to face this grief that I had always anticipated,
The moment you came back into my life these days been pre dated.
    It was Love itself I have wanted to bask in to know the Joy,
This despair , lonliness ,and all the nightmares  I needed to avoid.
    A wreck just waitng to happen and the wounds opened up again,
Never  thinking of when all began only wanting it all to just end.
   Days that will be lost and the memories you will never have,
It's the worst kind of emptiness and confusion I've ever had.
   These times we share when we are alone and nobody around,
The thoughts we have of fantasies are somewhat profound.
   Is there a lesson here to be learned and remembered ,
Or is it I am that lost soul  that lonely Pretender.
   This can't possibly be the very last and the end for me,
If so then it has always  been what was meant to be.
   When and how it all went wrong and strayed off course,
Something I will never know  or do I want to anymore.
   There is nobody  that knows what I am feeling today,
I tried making sense of it and found that there is no way.
   A fence that will never be mended or memories replaced,
Just a lonely life  and a broken heart is what I must face .
   Get on with my life  pray  for better days  I must do,
How  can I do that if it has to be without having you.
Tac


Details | Free verse | |

A HARSH REALITY

Too many children have had to grow without ever having a parent to know.
Ran through the foster parent system,with no one ever asking them.
And what occurs when they get some bad ones,beatings,isolation,sexual assaults done.
Then growing up and living with what occured,their conscience telling them this is absurd.
So they go through life being afraid and believing that those who hurt them must be obeyed.
It truly is a sick circle they must live in,and how this affects others is truly a sin.
So we must try to get them through this and most times it will be hit and miss.
But someone must be there for them,to ask those crucial questions where and when.
For if they never release that pain inside,they will always surely run and hide.
So "PLEASE" dear LORD! Set there evil free,and when they've released their pain could we 
then work on me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Steel

Darkness all around you
And now here comes the night
It’s all over but the crying
And the last will you recite
The litany still owns you
And the demons in your bed
But you are not what you do
They desire lives only in your head

Crimson streams that symbolize
All the pain you can’t express
But the poison never dries
The proof still shines beneath that dress
And you are not what they see
Just as sick as the secret inside
For as your soul screams out quietly
To that secret you abide

When you stare at your reflection
And you try to see your soul
Will you buy your resurrection?
Or only watch the glass grow cold/
Because still, the ice cold steel
Feels like magic on your skin
And gives the strength to heal
By pouring out your sin

The lovely white on white
Like blankets of Christmas snow
Dance before your sight
From years not long ago
Secrets they betray
The ones you long to keep
But the white on white will stay
What you have sown you must now reap

The steel between your fingers
Feels like heaven has arrived
But as long as darkness lingers
You will find the secret has survived
And the demon that has faded
Will grow stronger if you succumb
The pain is the connection that you have made it
Your salvation is your doom.


Details | Senryu | |

Pulled the Trigger

Bullet wounds
The criminal shoots down his
First targets

How dare you
Shoot them uncontrollably
CHAOS grows .  .  .

Don’t shoot it!
The victims are running mad
And you pulled

The trigger
I’m terrified of your strength
DROP IT, man ! ! !


Details | Rhyme | |

Abide in the Light

You abide in the light
I’ll miss you…when you venture off at night 
Don’t forget me…
Don’t discard me…
Don’t leave me…   

Forgive me for drifting away from you… 

Please forgive me…
Please don’t ignore me…
Hear my pleas…don’t turn the other direction…
Run with me…into heaven’s light

I’ve given you my soul…
I’ve shared with you my melody
I’ve fed you until you were full…
I’ve healed you when you were under the weather…
I’ve tried to bring us back together

You hang on the rope of hope
I’ll rely on you…I’ll cling to you… 
You saved me from subsiding into the obscure abyss

Don’t reject me…
Don’t depart from me…
Don’t release me…

Respect me for who I’ve become
Please respect me…
Honor my presence 
Protect me from any sort of harm  
Is it in your nature to relieve my anguish? 

I’ve been driven away by my affliction 
I’ve set you free from Egypt…and lead you to the Promise Land 
Have you forgotten my affection? 
I’ve tried to empathize what you’re going through – I’ve gave you a helping hand
Don’t you understand? Will you ever understand? 

You abide in the light 
I’ll miss you…when you depart from my heart
Don’t forget me…
Don’t discard me…
Don’t mourn for me… 

Forgive me for wishing for your absence…
Please forgive me…
Please don’t give up on me…
Hear my side of the story… don’t turn the other direction…

I’m still training for perfection    

Run with me…until we arrive at home 
Hold my hand and we’ll take divine flight 
I’ve cherished you for so long
I’ve lead you to my home town – 
Do you remember where you and I belong?

I’ve given you my trust…
I’ve shared with you my dreams
You’re an apple to my eye

You were my angel of grace, promising concord –
Bestowing blessings upon me 
Your vitality never wears off…

You were my lamp – 
Glowing with serenity and elation
Tranquilizing my mind from despair and unease

I’ll never regret…meeting you that magnificent night 
I knew that that was love at first sight
The moment you stepped foot into the light 


Details | Verse | |

BLEEDING IN PAIN ACHING INSIDE

Trying to mend what i tore 

Not wanting to hurt no more

But i can't help but feel remorse

I tried to listen to reasons 

But if i go on i would have 
unbearable pain 

Hearing your voice linger in my 
brain

Your words cut deep i can hardly 
explain 

All i feel is bitterness and shame

How can there be so much pain 
in a place

Where there is so much joy

Pieces of my heart now shredded 
lay 

I feel like i never wana love agian 

What has happened has never 
been spoken 

Everything around me has been 
broken 

Slowly darkness creeps 

Sadness without tears i weep

Withering, shrivering 

There's no words just silence

Believing this love was abiding 

But all along i was blinded

Now only emptiness and 
darkness reside

In the darkness of the night 

I break down and cry 

Cutting my skin to feel alive 

Bleeding in pain aching inside...


Details | I do not know? | |

Worth So Much More

So stressful.
This life is so hard.
Things don't get easier.
I can't stand to dwell on things that never change.

Him walking away...
Doesn't feel that great.
But hating him doesn't feel much better.
I don't know how to handle it.
Its too hard to accept being abandoned.

A senior in high school..
And the only family I have is myself.
Family is just a word...
Because I have none.

Walk away from pain,
I understand that.
Walk away from family,
I'll never get it.
Your own child,
And I mean nothing to you.

Don't come visit,
Not even a phone call,
How can I call you my father at all?

I always thought I was worth so much more,
Until I watched you walk out that door,
Only to find, you wouldn't be coming back.

You should understand,
Your father did the same.
You must have learned by example.

The pain you just installed in me,
Is something I'll never forget.
I can cry all I want,
But you will never hear it.
Screaming inside, I need to let it all out,
with this pen to this paper,
I'll show you what I'm about.

I'm over the fact that you can't be there for me,
You not calling is too much,
I can't ask any more of you.
I feel betrayed.
Lost.
Broken.

Is this all you wanted?
Because you have done all this to me.
This pain may fade, but my memory will stay.
An absent father to a 17 year old girl.
A lasting, painful memory,
How does it make you feel?


Details | I do not know? | |

Sigh

Fabricated lies boundless,
Without a cause.
Words of promises
Left forgotten.
Abandoned soul
Heart less and alone.
Tears of sadness recognized
But not accompanied.
04/09/09


Details | Rhyme | |

Your Embrace

Dear Lord I await your embrace as the weight on my shoulders is getting harder to take
I see the pain and daily lies that we spread its our mask . . our disguise

The pain and suffering is like mystical chains pulling me down to a darkened place,
I know you are with me so I should feel no fear, but it gets harder each day and year by year. 

I write this now with tears looming in my eyes, my strong front hides the pain deep inside;

Your love keeps me going . .  your secret signs show the way, yet I still pray please make the pain go away.


Details | Rhyme | |

Have You Ever

Have you ever felt the longing
Coursing through your veins
Have you ever felt the emptiness
Driving you insane
Have you ever felt the yearning
Reducing you to tears
Have you ever wondered why
You've lived through all these years
Do you ever feel the hunger
For a life not your own
Do you ever feel the emptiness
Of being in this world alone
Do you ever feel the sadness
Crushing your tender heart
Reducing you to madness
Do you ever fall apart
If you've ever wondered these
If you've ever wanted to flee
If you've ever felt your heart seize
Then be assured that you know me
And I do know thee


Details | Free verse | |

Tears in My Pen

Tears in my pen
flow freely like a stream
in words too profound
for others to understand

Tears of man's suffering
tears of sadness and pain
tears of joy and happiness
this wonderful life has bring

Tears of humanity
in words they roll and flow
my pen has brought to life
and made the teardrops glow

Tears that needed answers
tears that longed to be wiped
tears that never dried
tears that spring from life itself


Details | Rhyme | |

A Problem Phase That Never Ends

My patience is finally gone
I've been holding on so long
Now I'm at my breaking level
Causing fury like the devil
On your two faced lying butt
You need to keep your mouth shut
Before I start losing it
More and more your full of sh--
Promising me things that you
Can't deliver or work through
Why do you insist on causing
Havoc on my heart that's pausing
Love for you in many ways
I thought it was just a phase
You were going through a while
So I wore a friendly smile
Waiting for you to be real
As the man I'm meant to steal
This phase seems to never end
My smiles starting to bend
Into a frown of pure disdain
Put there by torture and pain
You used to be my sweetie
Full of sensitivity
Now I do a double take
At a guy who turned out fake
There is only one thing left to do
Get as far away from you
As I can for my freedom
Learning not to be so dumb
The next time my hearts a flutter
I will think of you and shudder


Details | Quatrain | |

Mine Anger 2K12

Good morrow anger! Found am I not less
Angered more so; Pray thee hinder not more.
Kindred stolen of murder; Most senseless!
O murderer, locked are frigid doors; Naught honor.


Details | I do not know? | |

Demolished

I’ve never hit rock bottom so hard.
I got up but it feels like I’m still sitting down.
I’ve never felt pain so bad
To the point where I just can’t function.
The memories I can’t seem to erase
They replay in my head constantly until I’m in tears.
I’ve never had my heart broken so bad
That just picking up the pieces crumbles in my hands.
I’ve never felt so alone.
That even while you hold me
I can’t feel your arms.
I’ve never been so depressed in my life
That even a psychiatrist don’t know my diagnosis.
There is only one way to go but up.
But my ladder keeps sliding down.
I run, jump, skip, hop.
Defeat lays on my breastplate.  


12/23/12


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Know

                Don't Know
It's a long pain,flowing through my veins.
Cursing the pain ,sleeping in frosty rain. 
Creeping with suffering,lying in hell.
Hangover of bearing,thuds heart without gain.
Leans over nails,crucifix the soul.
Thunders cross eyes,fills it with sacrifice.
Regretting the move,empty feel goes in vain.
Crumble down with emotion',and words get fumble.
Leaving the limelight,showing the world dark-knight.
Crossing over fear,only aftermath in light.
Ruined remains of manor,bricks fell like remains.
Bruised with wounds,cry in pain. 
Shattered dreams,walked on fire bed. 
Boulevard opens up,with dried leaves fallen dead. 
Collapse with emotions,doping is the only way.
Spoiling the sanity,diluting the originality.
Living on fast track,oldies are left to be slow.
Impelling it more,it only shakes heart spares.
          You lie in pain 
          Beats you till death 
          Kill you till your 
          last breath.


Details | ABC | |

Time Out To Cry

All alone at the end of the day
The time, just a little past ten
Evening has come for a short stay
It’s time for her sorrow again
The smile on her face she’s been holding
Suddenly, she lets fall
And the feelings begin unfolding
She comes out of her personal wall
As the world settles down for the night
She awakens herself from a dream
The girl they thought had life going right
No longer the image she seemed
She takes off the disguise she’s wearing
Opens her heart to the truth
Now behind closed doors she’s not caring
About life, or love in her youth
She sits by the mirror spilling tears
And she cries by herself in the dark
Hours of acting like there’s no fears
Takes a lot from an empty heart
Inside she’s lonely and sad
But acts like she's fine by day
In her misery, wishing she had
A friend, or a promise to stay
Ashamed of the truth she’s been keeping
Living hours in daylight a lie
This is the reason in darkness she’s weeping
Taking time out from each day to cry


Written by Shannen Wrass

Copyright © 1995 Shannen Wrass. All Rights Reserved


Details | Free verse | |

Missing Heartbeat

She is my heartbeat, and lately my hearts skipping beats. 
I missing beats like artist miss drop dates. 
Im missing her like she was gone to the pearly gates, 
But she just a phone call away, a phone call that's not answered on any day. 
I try to mask my emotions, but they refuse any longer to stay at bay, 
they've decided they rather set to sessions, cast away to find our heartbeat. 
And I myself have to decided to do what's necessary to have her back next to me and not an ex to me, 
cause forget the next one if its not her, no one shall stand next to me. 
I left her alone, but she left me torn down the middle like disgarded paper. 
My lines are messed up like a messed up taper. 
She is, was, and will forever be my heartbeat, 
and just hear it again Ill go through hell and back, 
pick and eat up scraps just for her love again to have back. 
And all the time people talk, 
people talk about all the fish in the sea but I ain't right for them fish and neither are they for me. 
My pain is masked like halloween. 
So no matter what I step out in you don't really know me. 
But she does, from the outline of my shadow to the inside of my heart she knows me from the start. 
I wish we would have never had to part, but I pray we get another start, Im dead right now you are the beat of my heart.


Details | Rhyme | |

Walk with me

  I have grown so accustom to the life that i lead,
the government providing me the things that i need,
my bed in a bundle ,my food in a tray,
my only moments of struggle are times that i pray.

  It has not been so easy for the kids i left behind,
they are the true victims of my selfish life of crime.
And what of the hurt and pain ive caused my family,
I left an empty space to fill , where my face used to be.

  I choose to write to convicts , instead of those i love,
where i can choose the topics and ignore the pain i've caused.

  I've learned to sing through lonliness, i'm hard with gentle smiles,
i always hug with open fists, halls mark a million miles,
the truth behind all of it,
this has been home for quite awhile,

  And i dont think i'm ready yet, to face my life, myself,
i prefer to stay a prisoner, locked in this hard , cold cell.
For beyond these walls awaiting me . IS A BIGGER HOTTER HELL


Details | Verse | |

The Inhuman Race

Yearning, wanting, dreams and desires,
Lust in our eyes, burning with fire.
Rebuilding ambition in every man,
Casting aside what we don’t understand.

Taking for granted things oh so small,
Attention to detail no problem at all.
Gain, greed and wealth, wanting so much,
Headlong too eager, always we rush.

Advice never headed, its such a chore,
Arguments, crime, murder and war.
Easing our wanting anyway at all,
Living a riddle without metaphors.

Innocent children turned septic inside,
Witnessing atrocities through uncaring eyes.
Lullabies forgotten, long laid to rest,
Living life in doubt, through the pain we infest.

We don’t cry with meaning, enough any more,
Our reasons are selfish, goodwill’s out the door.
We are strong enough to care, much more than we do,
To make that difference to me, them and you.

The world won’t stop turning; its purpose is to spin,
Time ticking by, we end then begin.
Hurt, pain and suffering we can no longer face,
Brutal beings us, are we proud of our race??

©.L.Kelly


Details | Free verse | |

Deceased

Middle of the night
All that is heard
Is yelling & screaming
A voice says,
"...No!...
...Why?!...
...Stop!...
...Don't do that!..."
Then nothing
Walk into the room
Nothing to see
Pitch black
One click of the light switch
All is revealed
Empty liquor bottles
Broken glass
Pills
Knife on the floor
Blood splattered all over the walls
With writing on it that reads,
"See what you made me do?"
Look on the floor
A dead body holding a gun
Look on the ceiling
A dead body hanging
What a nightmare
But a wish come true
Both parents
Dead


Details | Verse | |

Cry because they are born

Yeah. Another soul gone, taken out of the world
Mothers cry for your boys and girls
Not because they're taken away,, 
But because they're born in a world like today,,
R.I.P G.James,, R.I.P


Details | Free verse | |

Faith Healer

The odor is intolerable
Like a foul beast clinging to the end 
I can barely subdue its subterfuge 
But here I am, 
I’m standing here of sound and mind
Waiting for the time that answers my own questions

Can it race with the fires of Orc?
Doubtful, but it can jog steadily can’t it?
The weather is awful, filled with sounds
Penetrating a document not written
It pains me to fight through the night
Not because it’s dark, but because I am just a shadow.

Lester drives but
Motional lasts forever
Still driving
Still crying
And slowly dying as time waves on
Like oceans that can’t be seen.

Nobody cares and everyone listens
Ironic, like a bible that holds lies and deception
Can its will be pierced?
Can freedom stay free?
Is it worth it to stay hooked when everyone around
Seeks liberty?


Details | Prose Poetry | |

My pain

blood drips down
locked the door
the stinging starts to fade
everything becomes a blur
i know lay in the tub
in the cold water
my my arms stings
then the pain fades
i go under hopping not to come back up for air
and i feel my body going numb
i open my mouth to get a water in and blood
i tell myself to stay under
and then everything fads away
no more pain
my heart stops
the pain leaves me
my dead body is in the tub
TO NEVER BE FOUND AGAIN
untill someone starts looking for me
when they find my body
it will be to late


Details | Rhyme | |

Pain

--dedicated to my friend Laura Breidenthal... I really wish I could be there for you more...
-----------------------------
Pain

Pain is here
Pain is there
Pain is in the mind
Pain is kind
Pain is cruel
Makes us a fool

Your pain
My pain
our pain
her pain
his pain
their pain

Pain is life
Pain is the edge of the knife
Pain is worry and strife
Pain is knowing I cannot comfort you
Pain is doing all I can do
To try and help anyway

Pain is sorrow
Pain is today, yesterday, and tomorrow
Pain is always and forever
Pain ends never
Pain is the smile on the face
That vanishes without a trace

Your pain...
it's the worst pain
I wish to take your pain
Drown it with the rain
I WISH TO HAVE YOUR PAIN
I wish
I wish
Pain does not comply
It remains...a calloused lie
Pain is there
Pain is here

Pain is the worry that tomorrow
Tomorrow will only bring sorrow
Pain is NOT BEING ABLE TO COMFORT YOU!
Pain is the futile attempt to make that smile appear to you
Pain is knowing it's all to no avail
Pain is know I just fail

Pain is here
Pain is there
Your pain
My pain

Pain are the tears that constantly flow behind the closed eyes
Pain is hoping we never have to say goodbye
Pain is strife
Pain is life
Pain is the series of irrational cuts on the skin
Pain is the forced stretched fake grin

Pain I see in your eyes
Pain I wish was all a lie
Pain I wish to take away
And allow happiness to stay

Pain
Pain
Pain is always there
But if I could
I'd take all your pain away...


Details | I do not know? | |

My Countless Wishes -Part 2-

I wish
To demolish my sorrow…
I wish
To forget the despair and gleefully grow…
To forgive and seek the challenges of tomorrow…
My downfalls and my failures…
I wish
To disappear
I wish
I had no fear…
For God’s near…
I wish
I could be a cheetah in the grassland
I wish
To store all of my energy for an evening run…I’d never give up in the process
I wish
My whole spirit could simply sponge in God’s nature and make great progress
And I truly wish
I could stick to my daily plans of building a sturdier relationship with God 
I wish
I had the merriness in my life especially during hardships…

My countless wishes
Brings me down to my weakest point…
My countless wishes
Overthrows me…but it helps me in the long run…

I wish I could forgive 
My daily regrets and breakdowns
I wish I could forget
My despondency – embracing my frowns 

I wish
To live a life without error
Without a care
I wish
To be flawless when I make my everyday decisions
And scare away 
The darkness that tries to make me give up
I wish
I had more time to overcome…
These waves of emotions

My countless wishes
Brings me down to my disheartened state…
My countless wishes
Are like walls from every direction closing in on me…
But it’s a convenient tool in the future…

I wish
I could be live in someone else’s shoes…
But what good would it do?
Would it lead me to the narrow pathway?
Would it inspire me to push all of my doubts away? 
Would it push away the blues?
Could He give me any clues?


Details | Blank verse | |

Maybe

If I was born a wind,
I may have tour the world.
If I was to be the rain,
I will select my targets.

If I was to be the thunder,
I will strike balk.
If I was to be the sun,
I would have fried emotions dry.

If I was to be the moon,
I trust some will know only darkness.
If I could be the star,
I will deny some, beauty and light.

If I control mood,
Maybe I will have it all.
If I control time,
Definitely, I will escape in to the past.

If I know how to act,
I may have won lots of heart award.
If I know how to teleport,
I may have got from time ahead a heart.

Knowing ignorance I owe,
The price of negligence I pay.
At that, my body heats in the ocean,
And it writhes in Antarctica.

Only if all can be my way,
My story would be in the air,
My history in the sky,
And my beauty, in men's heart immortalized.


Details | Narrative | |

Red Eyes and Sinister Looks

Chains, hay forks, knives, and a hollow whisper,
become more true and sinister.
Halt in the middle of the moon light, 
and a waver image soon is no delight.
Voices run a muck in the head, 
so not calming you wish you were dead.
Gushing blood through the eye
not an image that you would rely.
Nails stuck on your neck with such pain
so your paralyze just little life sustain.
Hoodlums terrorizing people running a muck
did not really know they are in luck.
More dangerous beings are out their
to commit such act and with sinister stare.
Laughing with haunting echo's through
is an aspect of fear can imbue.
The wind changes direction to smother
the echoing sound of laughter.
The panicking state that you are in
soon drives a knife within.
Blood rushing out of your vain
a crucial part of your life dropping like rain.
Running without a destination
you will never reach anyone of your relation.
Sliding your body on a wall
keeping your fall in a stall.
Red eyes you can see it at night
is soon devouring you with little bite.
Changing your belief with tonics of relief
and it is to late to turn a new leaf.
Ears start to deceive the animals sound
eating limbs are chewing around.
Slowly your red eyes steadily getting heavy
is starting to take your life with a levy.
Dropping down with no attitude
and your life force slowly loses altitude.
Breathing comes not so easy
smelling flesh seems so beastly.
The change comes a desire
with frightening red eyes of fire.
Comes more lethal than the hoodlums 
your heart beating like drums.
Your hand becomes all fury
claws come out and your howl with furry.
Trance your in with no one to blame
a rage thats hundreds of centuries of flame.
Rising from a slumber of long lust
a animal instinct that you can trust.
Tearing things apart with no meaning
is a trait that is so deceiving.
Red eyes at night you see in a window
like a poisonous black widow.
Keeps you in attack mode of insanity
that takes all your vanity.
Ferocious emotions eating away
the soul that you had once betray.
The echoing sounds of loud thunder
breaks away the armor with sunder.
You fall once again to torturous agony
the feeling of one self is so lonely.
Shaking in the corner you are found
with blood soaked skin you drowned.
The night becomes day cruel in some way
your memories go in disarray.
The hunters with torches and sinister look
had parted way their hands shook.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mercy Killing

What happened last night brother, 
Please tell me it's not true, 
Was i a bother, 
Don't tell me you have no clue, 

Why am i locked up in an asylum, 
Don't you trust me, 
Am i getting my mammogram, 
it's my right to know please tell me, 

Don't isolate me please, 
I beg you, am only human, 
Tell them to handle me with ease, 
Am almost a young woman, 

Don't turn away when i speak, 
I need some answers, 
These injections are making me weak, 
Not forgetting my ulcers, 

Is this about the mercy killing, 
Please brother, don't cry, 
You tried your best but am not healing, 
Please let me die, 

I can's feel my limbs, 
The medicine is getting stronger, 
Please take care of the other siblings, 
Am growing weaker, 

Am done leaving on life support machine, 
Just let me go, 
You tried but am a broken engine, 
lease let my spirit go, 

This are my last words brother, 
Please don't try and save me, 
Last night when i had a seizure, 
The doctor defiled me...,


Details | I do not know? | |

My Mask

So much on my mind
I can’t think straight 
Nobody understand
I don’t demonstrate it.
I hide behind the smiles
Which I call a mask,
And talk so sweet
So they don’t see the hurt
That’s within me.
I’ve become so 
Introverted and isolated
From those I thought I knew,
And landed in the position 
Of a permanent foe.
04/30/08


Details | I do not know? | |

Why

they do not know me so why do they stare 
why do they kick me and pull at my hair 
why do they hurt me do they not know 
that i am the same i hurt after each blow
but it doesn't matter to them i am scum 
my pain is their pleasure my pain is their fun
im so sick of living im so sick of life 
which way should i end it a rope or a knife 
a knife is too messy a rope is the way 
got to get everything ready im leaving today
attach the rope to the ceiling im ready to go
make sure the doors locked so no one will know 
the ropes round my neck and i start to cry 
im sorry for everything im sorry GOODBYE


Details | Free verse | |

Truth or Acting 10-13-08

im all alone...
yet i have a multitude of friends
and loved ones surrounding me...
its depressing, really,
the life i lead.
family fighting...
friends fighting...
everyone fighting...
they hide it all so well,
the pain they're always in.
the pain they've been in
for so long they don't remember the last time they
weren't. They're like actors
and actresses, the way they hide it so well...
unless you knew what they're
going through, it's like they're
leading perfect lives...but they
aren't. They once did but they don't now and probably never will...
it's depressing, really.
the life i lead.
the lives they lead.
depressing...


Details | Lyric | |

Havent You Caused Enough Damage

I feel like Darkness has come to get me
There’s nothing but pain in my life now
All I have left to give are the pieces of my heart
This is what you did to me

Haven’t you caused enough damage?
Haven’t you caused me enough pain?
All I want from you now is for you to leave me alone
Haven’t you caused enough damage?

It’s like I’m floating on dark clouds
That I’ll never see by
It’s all because of the pain I feel
It’s all that you have caused me

Haven’t you caused enough damage?
Haven’t you caused me enough pain?
All I want from you now is for you to leave me alone
Haven’t you caused enough damage?

Well I guess you’ve hurt me for the last time
But you don’t know when to quit
I guess I’ll have to teach you
What it’s like to get your heart broken


Details | Narrative | |

The Sea Blue Eyes I

Once in a while I meet a person whose eyes tell their story
The story is like the sky reflection on the seas of glory
The eyes are all the wonder of the world
It sees the future, past, and present
The eyes give us knowledge of the world and reflection
The reflection of sadness and weakness of each creature
The wonder of each individual being has a present
To the world who has lots of false images
To arise the moment of that one glance
To follow the heart in romance
Just the reflection that gather in your eyes of blue
What a man and a woman should view
Life is such a pain without stopping to see each eyes
Its like roses you have to enjoy each passion in side
When that moment collides with mind and heart
Nothing in your soul can keep your love apart
Join in the fun look in every eyes of a person beside
With passion and romance I bet you, you would cry
The luster of all the things to come
A bounty of life long needs to be given by just the wonders of the eyes
The blue seas reflects the different depths of our feelings
And it should become revealing
Come to your senses with ravaging hormones of lust
The sea can take you and even the reflection in the eyes of the person
The beauty is not held by one it is held by everyone
Such looks with fear for no relief
Is almost a dreadful part in our human nature
Beware of what can happen when emotions are held
Held to the core of an individual
No such thing is kindness when you find yourself in the Sea Blue Eyes
Calling in your soul by just looking
With ignorance you play around with such futile emotion
Gush away the fear and do not go insane with life so dear
The grasp of the titans comes to reveal
The evil within your heart is so obscenely noticed
You want the sea and you want those eyes to look at you with wishes
The rage in the heart are waves that cannot stop 
It pushes and pushes with no regret
The heart falters and there is only one thing in your mind
The idea of one soul to be with is the ocean 
The rifts that is trying to break to end the wants of desire
Cannot be trusted in a human lier
The beauty of man is destruction 
The beauty of women are commands
The eyes of each does not matter in the sea
Because all emotion and desire is given to those who are true
Command of a person is just one thing 
The desire to destroy is another
The Sea Blue Eyes will see no bother cause it bares it all
Even the utmost desire
To be continue.


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Make Me Laugh, Girl

Hey girl
I bet you don’t know that
I’m laughing
 
Because you are SO worried about me
You are SO anxious about the curve of my jaw
And the shine on my mouth
as though the glint might hit  “something”
And knock it over …
 
“Something” precious to you
 
But girl, never mind it
You’ll never have to mind
 
Because I am both the fool’s gold
And the fool
 
I am the terminal story
I am the grey skyline
My feet are always blistered and red
I am always tight-roping a sharp fence
I’m always on the edge
And no matter where I stop
There’s a drop on either side
 
So don’t worry, girl
I can assure you I will fall
 
Don’t worry, I have always known
My destination
Is a skinned knee
a caved in roof
the back of a river rock
Like garbage,
 Forever caught
 
Don’t worry, girl
My hair is not a decoration
But a downfall
Girl, I cry more often
than you probably thought
possible
 
You don’t have to push me
I’m pretty much always ready to move
My splintered fingers no longer wince
When picking up the broken pieces
Of my broken heart
 
This is what I do...
 
So don’t you dare
Make me laugh…


Details | Rhyme | |

Heart Of Thorns

Heart of thorns,soul of pain
Watch couples strolling through the sand
Smiling,touching,holding hands
A feeling claws me as I glance
Heart of thorns,soul of pain
Seas of tears I tread alone
This feelingI've forever known
Haunting paths with no light shown
Heart of thorns won't set me free
Soul of pain won't leave me be
Seas of darkness,endless,deep
Pulls me under,drowning me
Heart of thorns,soul of pain
Feeling envious to your gain
Thoughts of death taunting my brain
The mirror sees I am insane
Heart of thorns won't leave me be
Soul of pain won't set me free
Quelling torment endlessly
Kill the pain to Death I plead
Soul of pain,heart of thorns
A pool of blood shines off the floor
The endless pain of love,no more!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

Deadly

My mind was filled with hope

and desire. 

While laying in a garden of 

wildfire. 

Take my skin and flesh to boil 

and burn.

I feel the end come as I turn. 

Ash and nothing more is what 

I've become. 

Are there tears in your eyes or 

are there none.

Endure and take when I am a 

ghost. 

Know that I'll haunt you 

because I loved you the most.


Details | Quatrain | |

Let Sorrow Sleep

Eyes too tired to cry
Voice to weak to scream
Fire to dim to die
Soul too dark to dream


Details | Rhyme | |

Depression

As though there existed some thin gossamer veil
Drifting down from an unheavenly trail
First just a twinge ,a touch or a feel
A feeling of loneliness one cannot conceal

Leaving one melancholy, broken and frail
Piercing ones heart like an old rusty nail
Senses of unhappiness dost hang like a cloud
Chokes out this victim in depressing dark shroud

Sadness and angst attack easy prey
All signs of joy slowly slipping away
Beauty and happiness also recede 
As depression takes hold begins to impede

All hope seems now to be fading away 
Soon thought turn to acts sane people ne’re stray
Thoughts of escape, of end of release
Pondering how to make the pain cease




Oh why does this fog devour my soul
Why does this aching take such a toll
Affliction still lingers well after my prayers 
Pain like strangers heart-piercing stares

Pure agony paralyzes my very soul
Then near paroxysm out of control
IS THERE NO FORESEEABLE END?

… alas as I plead  my pain doth descend 



*Dedicated to all who suffer


Details | Rhyme | |

Someone, Someday

It’s so hard to start
It’s so hard to finish
It feels as if all that you've accomplished will someday be diminished 
And it won’t matter if you become somebody some day
Because someone will easily take your place 
Steal your ideas 
And make a living off you, THEIR way

It’s sad but true
Every mutha f**ka 
Will take a piece of your mind
and will somehow ultimately f**k you

not physically but mentally
making you think 
you’re not one of a kind
their getting all the fame 
while everyone leaves you behind

leaving you to feel like a failure 
people telling you to talk to God, 
he’ll have the answer

I pray, looking up at the ceiling
Hoping he’ll will give me a reason….
To keep going on with my life and my ideas
But all I’m left with are clones of my feelings
Washed up on canvases with some else’s fake veneers 


Details | Quatrain | |

The Fortress

This fortress is coming down;
It's been a long time in the making.
This bastion can't hold its own;
All these walls are shaking.


Details | Rhyme | |

heartless

The ice on my skin burns like the sun,
As the freezing steel makes another run.
Searing pain reminds me of why its done,
Medical precision assures the blood will run.
With this pain another news story is spun,
Followed by the segment of the one who used the gun.


Details | Cinqku | |

Poisoned Sequence

 
                                    Ruins
                                 Of a man
                         Sprawled in the mud
                    Betrayed by woman scorned
                                   Broken

                                    Victim
                                 Of slander
                            Eyes gaze on him
                 With contempt; tongues find him
                                    Guilty

                ---------------------------------------

                         


Details | Lyric | |

Dig Up Stupid

You're degrading yourself You're only digging deeper This grave you've made for yourself You're your own tormentor Why don't you help yourself? Climb out of this hole Stop hurting yourself Fix your sad soul Look at this mess you've made Was it really worth The pain you payed Just for such A vapid Touch One more One more touch Dig up stupid Don't try and right the wrong The damage is done Silence the song You can't run From a list so long The eyes are watching The diverse Became the same Why can't I keep my hands from latching Onto what was never mine? Look at this mess you've made Was it really worth The pain you payed Just for such A vapid Touch One more One more touch Dig up stupid Dig up


Details | Lyric | |

Words

The words march up your throat
like an army of the fiercest soldiers.
Each one pushing
and screaming,
ripping and tearing,
prying open your defiant jaw
with razor sharp blades.
Each blow forces it farther
until the words erupt
like molten lava,
burning and scarring
anything-
or anyone-
in its path.
The pain subsides.
The fear,
the anger,
the hate
has drained.
But pain cannot be destroyed,
only placated,
and pain is a disease
afflicting the world,
spread by the spoken word.
The battle may be won, yes,
but the war is far from over.


Details | Free verse | |

Gasping for Care

I woke up this morning
A stormy pattern of thoughts
My pillow wet from tears
Feelings of isolation
Lack of love
Family desertion
I woke up this morning
Alone with my thoughts
Leaning over as I walked
Hunchback across the room
From my heavy heart

I reached out and asked
Why do you ignore me
Am I unworthy of your love
You enjoy the power play of separation
Do you not see my torment
From the isolation 
My penance for speaking truth
A truth you wish to ignore
Let’s put our collective heads in the sand
The grains of pain will blow away if we do

And when I fell down
Slipping on my tears 
My fear of rejection came true
With the simple question
What happened to you
With words of truth
You think I’m self indulgent and irrelevant
So I bury everything inside
Waiting for it to reappear
Another time when I’m stronger
Maybe I can handle your rejection

When I screamed to you
I need you
The deafness was shrill
Your collective heads in the sand again
It’s easier to ignore an ugly memory
Than to look fear in the face
You needed me in ancient times 
When no one else could help
And yet when I reached out 
You ignored me

All those years of pain
Come around again
I’m the easy target to place the blame
The old man is gone now
My ultimate fear of facing him down
In his time of dire need
From this distance I cared
While you chose to ignore him
And he died a slow death
And when he passed
You cut me out
And watched me bleed
Isolation is my penance
For loving the best I could

Years from now
If the circumstances are right
You might look back on this
And wonder what happened to the girl
Full of promise 
Full of love
Full of expectations
The rubbish only remains
There’s no one else to blame
But myself for my weakness
For allowing your permeation of vengeance 
Isolation is the name of the game

I don’t dare reach out
They will engrave upon me
Their version of their memory 
While watching me
Falling into the crevice of deep sadness
Bleeding to death
The pain in my heart
And they don’t care
And I’m not allowed to share
So I’m left alone with my thoughts
Waking up to tears on my pillow
Drowning a slow death
Gasping for care


Details | Free verse | |

Monsters

The monsters came back, 
They taunted her every night,
Telling her absurd things.
They made her think.
They whispered in her ear 
Trying to lead her to do 
something
She had tried so hard to 
overcome.
This was a constant battle 
Between her and the wicked.
And yet again,
She was left with nothing
In a dark room
Because the monsters won.


Details | Lyric | |

Suicide

As the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and months into years I wondered half-heartedly how so much time could pass me by. My life was a matter of simply getting through each moment. Existing but never living.

The days dragged on. Growing bleaker and bleaker with each passing moment. And, oh the nights how dark and lonely they always proved to be. Sheer exhaustion but never rest. Sleep was as foreign to me as the life I had one day known. The best I could have hoped for was to have collapsed into a heap.

The tears, how they streamed shamelessly down my cheeks. In the dark corner I sat trying to avoid the world. All alone. The pain unbearable. I couldn’t breathe. Only gasp between my sobs. Never-ending sadness moving in on me. Closing in until hysteria would come and take its place.

The pills. Oh, they helped for awhile. Eased the pain a little in the beginning but that didn’t last. So more doctors, more pills. Start taking this one and quit taking that. Stronger doses always called for though they never helped. Frustration added to the pain. Desperation finally took over.

Tonight’s the night. All alone. Making plans. Leaving notes. Will they forgive me? Will it matter if they don’t? Freedom on the other side of a bottle. A hot bath. A handful of these and another of those. It’s just a matter of time now. The tub is so relaxing. Growing sleepy. Now is the time. I have to let go. Eternity calls my name. No more pain. I am free.


Details | I do not know? | |

In My Mind You Never Fade

Like an old photograph with wrinkled edges 
my mind returns to the times that are etched, 
So vividly they flash through my mind's screen, 
times that I cherish when our love set us free. 

I wish so much the bad words I could take and throw away, 
for every second that we have we should be so amazed. 
our love is a gift we were given to hold tight, 
I am sorry when I've made things worse and chosen to fight. 

This photograph of us deserves my care, 
In my mind I feel you are aware. 
I have no excuse for tears and pain, 
I felt it too is all that I can say. 

It seems a joke on us at times to steal the sweet embrace 
the kisses and the glances that haunt me every day. 
Why can't I tell you what losing you did to me 
It only seems to make you feel not worthy. 

But please know I realize how I let you slip, 
through my fingers with my jealous trips. 
I could kick myself and believe me I have so much, 
Do you know the pain of realizing I lost true love? 

Maybe this is what you don't see, 
you think I blame you and you only, 
No I don't it's just it was a shock for me. 
I cried and cried for hours, days and weeks. 

I cannot lie to you my love my heart and soul, 
the day you disappeared carved a place that won't let go. 
But it is not your fault you had the right to leave, 
I needed to wake up and see my life and faults before me. 

It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, 
I may never get relief from the scars that lurk. 
I don't blame you not at all please understand 
I hate myself for letting passion make me mad. 
I hurt from self inflicted wounds that stare me down. 
I put them there and still my peace just can't be found. 
My mind it plays that screen and looks at that photo 
I stare and stare but I can't make my foolish actions not show. 

So you see it isn't your fault at all, 
you handled it like you knew to have resolve, 
of course I throw the blame at times when my heart bleeds 
the stains are those that I flung so wild and free. 

I cannot tell you what the pain is like, 
to know you had the one and only in your life. 
I play the moment that will never stop in my mind. 
the day I lost your love is stuck on rewind. 

I hear the ghostly words you did this to yourself, 
they've played so many times the words now even yell. 
I cannot escape them because I know what price was paid. 
My mind, my soul, my heart, my lips will never be the same. 
The day our love got tossed and thrown so foolishly away. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Lost In Loneliness

When a heart breaks who hears the shattering sounds?
When sorrow fills a soul who hears it while it drowns? 
So bound up is the world that we must go it alone. 
No one hears the sounds, its a deafening tone.

That broken heart knows the sounds and searing pain.
That broken heart knows loneliness and familiar rain.
That broken heart will always seek but never find,
That broken heart will knock till lost are soul and mind.

Weak is the heart when life drains slowly from the eyes,
Breath to take is labored, as the soul is tilled with lies...
Slowly falling to the ground, each movement charted well,
Frame by frame is edited, slowly falling into hell...

Sadness is a friend that will walk with me each day,
As the days grow longer there is nothing left to say...
Hollow is the look that from the eyes does dimly glow,
In the end the heart is empty and nothing there will grow...


Details | Free verse | |

Your Words

Get a life, she said
Dark thoughts ring through my head
I am nothing—for that is what you have made me
Tears streaming from my eyes
All the past happiness—the lies
Words do matter . . . they really do
They stick to you like glue
I cannot stop sobbing
For the words ring true
I am truly nothing—thicker than lead
The next rhyme will probably be the word “dead”
Damn this mind . . . damn this head
I cannot escape the sorrow
She held it all in
And it bursts now from her quivering vocals
Crybaby, she said
Oh, but you do not know all that I hold in
But you cannot blame them for not understanding
The fault is all my own
I guess the next word to rhyme is “alone”
Wish they could be something more meaningful
Something giving, inspiring
But I cannot help this—I am rotting!
I hate to be wrong but you are right
What’s the use of this sick denial and spite?
What’s the use of trying to live this life,
When I am looking for a completely wrong purpose?
Finding myself downright worthless. . .
I hate being right. . .
But sometimes . . . I really am
And it your words you have spoken
That make it the truth

Your words leave a shameful legacy
Like a sick memory,
Like a regret. . .

March 15, 2013


Details | I do not know? | |

Friend

Friend where are you?
are we playing 
Hide and seek?
did you drown?
there’s no sea.
You’re close
I can here
You breath.
So close there’s a heartbeat.
Shadows
In the mirror 
Friend, is that you 
I screamed!
There you are
I reached out 
To touch you
But it was only 
A reflection 
A reflection of me.
11/24/07


Details | Rhyme | |

A Shameful Few

Chip away at the surroundings,
To get to the spoils inside.
Mindless of devastation,
Or the pain as a nation cries.

Off in a new direction,
The agenda must be upheld.
Global unification?
A very grim fairy tale!

Greed on their back as they pillage,
Warmongers with hue and cry!
Fodder sent home in a wooden box,
As more and more people still die!

Freedom and liberty long gone,
As we are snared in the tellers net.
Peasants and squires of near future.
In the worst game of risk ever yet!

Stolen and lost are our rights
As the parasites hold their heads high!
Choking on lies as they spew their untruths
As to why the next country must die!

Nothing it seems will stop them,
Hell bent on their mission it seems.
The ruination of the world...
As they crush its inhabitants dreams!

Turning on their own people
People they should try and protect.
When that trust is gone it’s all over,
Because what do the people have left?

Civilized nations turned monster
By the leaders consumed with greed
No happily ever after....
Just the planting of evil’s seed!

Chip away at the surroundings,
To get to the spoils inside.
Mindless of devastation,
Or the pain as a nation cries!


Details | Rhyme | |

leavin you behind

im goin on with my life
and leavin you behind
i love you still
but i will not go crawling back
you gave me alot of love
but also heartache and sorrow
maybe itll b better tomorrow
you hurt me bad
and it used to make me sad
and then it changed
i got mad
youll always be my first love
you used to be really special
and finally im goin on with my life without you
and leavin you behind


Details | ABC | |

Once I fell for Thor

I once fell for a man with looks to kill and long hair as golden blonde 
Body as a warrior god should be with his eyes so blue as ice 
There I stood frozen into his spell 
As he held me and looked deep into my eyes 
And utterd these simple words of love I was sprung deep into him 
This god of thunder kissed my lips ever so softly 
Thought I've found my one true love only to find his true way of lies and useing my heart 
Just to crumble and crush me down to my sorrow with his enchanted hammer to crush my heart 
And all I hoped for to a million shatterd peices 
I suppose this will be as I once fell for Thor 
By Brian Otoole


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

Holy books says it all
You taught me how to crawl
This will never change
Never ends never fades
Dear God where you are?
Shattered piece of childish dreams
This will never change
Never ends never fades.

I can fight for all my life,
Not broken, not broken inside
Never be so frustrated,
Not going to commit suicide.

Fuc*ing faith will fall,
Mortals will stand tall
Hell and heaven are all the same
Live your life, don't die in vain

Only you and I can make 
A better world for tomorrow
Have faith in yourself
And wipe off the tears of sorrow

Make me scream, Make me cry
I'll never fail to try.
This night's has an end
No pain will remain


Details | Verse | |

The curse

When love was tortured
She was silent.
She was repeating words in mind.
Her eyes were looking up at heaven,
And there was no tears sign.

When love was being murdered
She was silent.
She was reminding herself of
All the moments when
She was smiling,
When happiness was real for her.
There was no pain.

When the blood appeared, and
Her last breath was gone,
Thunderstorm and rain came out
From heaven,
Darkness was called to go back to earth.
God cursed people and said:
“You will pay for your sin forever
Without understanding
You will feel nothing
Believing it is real”.


Details | Free verse | |

DECASTICH-THE WISEST ONE

Seeing others doing harmful things,
excessively drinking and using hard drugs,
I say this road is the wisest one
a very prudent individual could ever take, 
hoping that nobody will lay flowers 
on that spot, where a horrible crash may occur.
Perhaps I've been too cautious...
when it comes to save what I hold most precious,
not afflicting useless pain on my body;
only praying to God to safeguard me. 


This afternoon, I visited my niece Crystal in Elmurst Hospital,
as she and her four friends were involved in a bad accident;
the driver, who had a legal alchool level in her blood, crashed 
into a light pole last Sunday morning; were they all drinking?
That's a mere speculation, but this kind of behavior is common
among teenagers; Asia, the driver of the car, is into a coma slowing improving. 
Crystal has a broken leg and fractured pelvis, begging nurses for help; 
and she is in acute pain and can hardly breath. Elisabeth is on a respirator...
due to a blood clot traveling to her lungs; the other two girls have minor injuries.


What does it take for irresponsible drivers not to be under the influence....
avoiding the mourning of a dear one, or even losing their own life?
Not many folks will heed this message...until they face death,
and nothing can be done to prevent them from diying.
Trongs of visitors crowd the hall, to inquire about their condition;
they hear their agony and are unable to help...ah, if they ever could!
So will you take that path which is the wisest one to avoid a possible tragedy,
or continue defying fate until its awfully late to enjoy a full life?
Their parents are as helpeless as I, but our faith makes hope grow...
that these kids will finally understand that a second chance is not given to all.



This horrible accident happened in Woodhaven, Queens, NY on August 15, 2010.


Details | Rhyme | |

FATE'S UNFAIRNESS

I love to send this sad thought
of fate's unfairness into the depth of oblivion,
forgetting as it had never occurred
and troubled me in the tenderest years;
could I really forget all the grief and wrath
which I had to face holding back tears?
A lost youth can't be replaced by realizing its dimension.
   


Were others more deserving than I?
My glances showed no envy, 
but desire was way too intense
to find happiness or even a little joy;
why did fate continuously deny me
to exult love in its splendid ways 
with an amorous sentence? 


Details | Free verse | |

Quiet Waters

Streams of blue fluid 
Flows downward 
As fragile carcasses decay 
Without a peep of a sound

We’re in the brink of disaster… 

Who invited such fear and anguish?
Who could lead us to quiet waters?

We bleed…
Polluting the waters below us… 
Trickling down the mountain
To our filthy feet…

Cleansing the sin off of our skin
But, it’s tangled from deep within…

The eeriness breaks 
The hearts of a thousand strangers
They all fall away powerlessly… 
Into the chambers of death 

Danger is lurking in every corner…
Pursuing its evil plans
To cut down our hopes…
Growing like crops… 
Rising rapidly –  
It never stops

Dreams of misfortune still 
Rapes our minds,
Plaguing our happiness… 
Consuming the darkness…

We’re sprawling on the ground…
We’re crawling like infants…
Veering briskly like serpents…

Who will set our souls free 
From suppression?  

Who will preserve our hearts?
Don’t prey upon our 
Guiltless lives… 
We’re in complete agony… 
Does He consider 
Our prayers  
Of support and nourishment? 

We scream…
Breaking the repulsive solitude…

Encourage us to keep on 
Trekking toward Your light

Where’s Your path?

You rinse off all of the sorrow 
Giving us a ecstatic tomorrow 

The weeping ceases…
While the corpses 
Tear into 
Blood-spattered 
Pieces…  

The faith of a couple of people
Strengthens us…keeps us motivated…
Not captivated…
In misery…
We’re reaping our 
Ecstasy…   
Leading us to peace and fortune 
Keeping us accustomed
To Your purifying spirit…
Keeping us away from 
Calamity… 

We’re hungry… 
Our demise is close at hand…
Closing in on us abruptly 
Like an obscure cave…

Rescue us from affliction –  
Embracing downhearted clouds…

Those wretched clouds…

Brought us rain when we asked for bread…

Those merciless clouds…

Spewed out scorching fire when we asked for relief…

Remember our supplications… 
Appalling lightning’s daring to strike us  
Out of cruel vengeance 
Out of sheer amusement 

Don’t even attempt to weaken us
We’re blossoming in joy…
We’re under cover… 
You can’t manipulate us 
Like a subtle toy 

We’re praying for
Quiet waters

Offer the deceased 
A second chance

Don’t disown 
Our broken lives

We’re not alone…

We’re just waiting until
The quiet, glistening waters
Gratefully arrives…


Details | Free verse | |

So Weak, Yet So Strong

Another mark to tally up the score
Making it an even twelve
She lies awake at night
Thinking about what made the marks
Thinking about how her life has changed
Is it all her fault?
The things that happened
The things that left her where she is today
Is it a punishment for the way she is?
So different from the world around her
Yet so much the same as them all
Trying to find her place
While she struggles with her sadness
Her inner thoughts that tell her she is no good
The ones that push her further into the pain she suffers
Into the bad habit that only feeds its self with each passing day
The one that makes her hide
Afraid of what the world would say
What every one would say
"Psycho,
Freak,
Emo,"
None of them understand the pain she has seen and
The things she has lost
The tears that have fallen and
The weakness that is her
So weak yet so strong
To carry on in a world where every thing seems to be against her
Against her dreams and 
Against the real person inside the girl who sits alone


Details | I do not know? | |

Regret

Lonely yet you never alone
Unhappy yet you always smiling
They don’t know you yet they say they do
Drowning in a sea of perception and lies
Accost by irrational characters
Judged and rejected prior to hello
Identity, reason, hope and purpose all lost
Life lived thus far, a life full of regret
A life lived for others
A life not lived


Details | I do not know? | |

Character

Your character deceives me
Always misleads me
One minute I’m your friend
The next minute I’m your foe
The thought of you
Makes my liver quiver
My heart shivers.
You were my confidant
Now I’m your adversary
We had a good friendship
Now you’re not even worth, being an associate
I wanna say goodbye…but I can’t
I’ll never forget you
The gleeful person you were
And the impudent creature you have become.
08/15/05


Details | Free verse | |

Torn Apart

 Torn apart is my heart.
 Torn apart is my world
 I am that girl
 Torn is my life
 Torn is my name
 At the end of the day I am Torn apart in every way
 Torn to the bone am I
 This is why I cry because my heart my world have been Torn apart and so have I


Details | Free verse | |

Love Restores Peace

At 8:30 AM,
"Get up, LAURA! Charlie! Wake up...Robert...Wake up."
No reply...no reply...just ignore my wake up calls...yell at me all you want
You make me cry...cry...just shatter me like glass...you place me in the trash, but I still feel this discontent
Deep inside of me...
There's a sea of remorse swirling around me...
At 12:15 AM,
"Hey Laura!"
No reply...no reply...
"What are you doing?"
I just want to cry...a river...why?
She still ignores me...now I'm feeling the anxiety...
She still jokes around with me, but I feel so angry...and so empty...
She's texting her friends again...I must talk to her sometime
She still doesn't answer my calls...she doesn't care to wipe off my grime
Sponging inside of me...
I guess I'm left with my chores for today
My heart is swelling up in dismay...and my sky turns to gray
And I pray...for relief and I just want to say...
I love my sisters and brothers, but they truly don't care for me...or at least that's what I think till this very day
This lonesome feeling sufficates me...
Go ahead and ignore me, sister
You just added another blister
In my mouth, my hopelessness avalanches all over the ground
You make me frustrated...and now my head spins round and round
And I feel bound...
By stress and torment! 
Go ahead and neglect my voice
My heart is seeping out misery...pumping with fret...
while you text your friends and rejoice
In my head, my painstaking regrets torture me profoundly
You don't care to listen - live your life without me
My soul is left in the cold...
Oh! Go ahead! Let me mold...mold...
I worry about you, sister...
But you left me to dry like glue...you made me suffer
don't beg to differ...
Go ahead! Blow fire in my direction...
I warn you...you don't want to see an eruption
I don't want to be ensnared by my corruption... 
Please God...pick me off from the ground...
and show me some direction
Or I'll be broken down like the titanic...
And You don't wanna see me panic...
Panic...
At 1:00 AM,
I decide to pray to God for protection...
I pray...I pray...
I wait for His reply..........................
He helped me fight 
my depression wars
He unchained me from the cage...
and taught me how to fly
He cherished me...
He understood me 
and He still does till this day...
He healed my sores...
And He doesn't ignore my calls! 
He makes me feel content 
even in the midst of hardships - 
I pray...I wait...I cry...
For His comfort daily...
to nourish me 
when I feel ignored
Or when I'm stabbed in loathe...
I pray that Your peace be restored
In our family once more.
I wait
For peace
To fix the broken glass...to fix the emotions breaking us all
I pray
For the chaos to cease
To make the whole world rejoice...to encourage us to stand tall
Will love make us whole again?


Details | Verse | |

Coming Home

She'd never looked at life this way
There's beauty all around
How could I have got so low
Just needed to be found

When the first tear fell from her
She thought that it would mend
Didn't think she'd still be here
It never seemed to end

And the days they turned to weeks
The weeks turned into years
It took awayher confidence
Replaced with all her fears

She knew the circle wouldn't stop
Each morning brings new pain
Wonders how the bright sky feels
She's only used to rain

Looking at herself one day
She stared into her eyes
And saw that there was nothing left
She's done with living lies

Admitting that she needed help
It took a lot to do
But knows she's coming home one day
The grey skies turn to blue

With every ounce of strength in her
She had to do what's right
And knew that it was time to start
The long uneasy fight


Details | Verse | |

Lost in a Memory


" Lost in a Memory"
Written by: Rodney Riggins

Can't forget I hate to concentrate
got to remember before it's to late.
Mind in a brainstorm hear sirens and 
loud alarms to paranoid to stay calm
my memory is lost and gone.

Lost in a brainstorm lost in a memory
brains all gone lost in a cemetery. The 
world has raped me making me hate me
my mind has escaped me still it's a memory.
Violence I crave for death makes me crave
more love sex I'm a man whore a dog on
all fours

My mind is shot to hell my memory fails
as well my energy go to hell my thinking
now is dead. Trapped in a lost brain which
drives me insane the pain i with stain from
thinking now it's drained

Kill me quick kill me fast mind is dead not
gonna last pull the plug I'm leaving fast if
not I'll kill you then I'll laugh.

My memory has failed me I'm my own
enemy death is my only friend life 
wasn't meant for me. Memory is gone
forever pain will be eternity for those
who read this poem hope they can learn
from me.


Details | Pantoum | |

Too Soon Born

Too soon born, a son was ripped from life.
Her empty womb tormented motherhood.
That dreadful day bore great pain and strife. 
A lifetime lamenting loss not understood.

Her empty womb tormented motherhood
Nature’s deadly forces wrought its bitter bite.
A lifetime lamenting loss not understood.
Dreams of laughter vanished overnight.

Nature’s deadly forces wrought its bitter bite.
Conception hid its face, years sadly past.
Dreams of laughter vanished overnight.
Sorrow thrived upon a painful future cast.

Conception hid its face, years sadly past. 
Despair became life’s ordinary way.
Sorrow thrived upon a painful future cast.
Her barren womb cried each Mother’s Day.

Despair became life’s ordinary way.
That dreadful day bore great pain and strife.
Her barren womb cried each Mother’s Day.
Too soon born, a son was ripped from life.

© Dane Smith-Johnsen
September 15, 2010


Details | Free verse | |

Little One

Fields black and sundered so,
Mists of tears, forgot in woe,
Showers of rain, standing still,
Skin as white as snow,

Passers by wander not a sight,
Pay no heed to such a blight,
Showers of rain, lost in ill,
Wandering each... stone cold night,

Forgot, abandoned, this lowly one,
Hope is lost, all yet none,
Showers of rain, brights forsaken,
Misbegotten hope, now that all is done.


Details | I do not know? | |

For Tomorrow may never come...

Life is like a circle, 
An uncomprehended term
A moment of light followed by;
A shadow of darkness.

Life is nature's gift,
A thing to be cherished, as long as you hold 
So live life to its fullest while at its midst
What ever time you have now is yours, 
For Tomorrow you may never know.

Life is a treasure for those who know it,
For some its a pain but to others; its whole
For those like me whose days are done,
Can only hope,
For tommorow may never come.

Hearts broken, tears of pain
A whisper of love that lingers in my heart
A pain so unbearable, an unliftable curse 
I know i cannot love you and commit my self, 
For You must move on with this journey called life.

My time here is done, 
What i ask for, is what cannot become.
My life i've lived for giving, helping others was my ideal.
Now that i've done what i came for,
It is my time to move on,
This maybe my one last moment to hold,
To me there is no tomorrow.


Details | Free verse | |

Bluesday

Sun please don’t rise tomorrow
Or the next day if you can
As my aching heart can’t face another day
Let nights cloak wrap around me 
And hide me from my woes
When I lay my head to pillow 
And my eyes I finally close

Let not my heart be troubled 
By the problems of the day
So I can sleep at peace with all the world
And if daylight don’t break my slumber
Or some nightmare from the past
I shall sleep until the nightfall
When I will be safe at last


Details | I do not know? | |

Love Gave Me a Reason Part II.

To you I was committed 
            And I admit it
You used to be the keeper 
There's probably no love that's deeper

Tears often kissed my cheek and pain hugged my wounds
I would wake up to scorched suns and sleep under chilled moons

Plagued with such HAPPY SORROW
It seems like I'm living without you today, but I'll be dying without you tomorrow...

LOVE is my stalker:
Creeping through my heart
Sleeping in my DARK
Hiding in the SCARS that leave these marks

Love gave me a reason to
Keep secrets that you would never know
Nights I wept that you can never owe

So...
A slow death was all you seemed to give

And the more you gave the less I lived 

Released from bondage, 
let go of a man that played the role of a kid

At first I didn't want to
But Now I feel blessed that I did

All I needed in a life of sin…
Was me and my boyfriend
            Me and my Toyfriend….

                        Me and my…
Me and MY….

Boy…you're nothing but my DEAD END…

I breathed you like air…

But like hair…
I had to clip you like dead ends
                           
              An empty bank account….
Kept on writing me checks
And when I tried to cash your love it Bounced

So I bounced…

Although I died, I cried not an ounce of tears
But the pain just rips, just drips, and wont stop 
until it tears whatever pieces of my soul you left behind
Because you didn't leave me with a peace of mind

And all I seem to do is keep sad love songs on rewind
Letting it pummel my mind                
STRUGGLING to let out EMOTION
FIGHTING against intoxicating Love Potions
As your venom continues to linger in my veins
And your face continues to lie in the nucleus of my brain

I go emotionally insane

Wanting to hate you
Wanting to escape you…..

But instead I clasp my hands and I pray for you
And instead I ask for God to save you
For God to somehow reshape you…
Remake You…..
Break you…

And

     Still…
       
             After all I been through,


                          It's sad that LOVE 

gave me a reason
 to hate you…

             But God gave me the reason to FORGIVE 
                                                                               you...


Details | Verse | |

Let me break

Make me forget about this,
How beautifully I was falling,
Convince me it was my mistake,
There was always no one to rely on,
And no one to fight for.

Look into my eyes again,
Speak your lies, and
Die in it.

Make me forget your face,
Your standing there with no move,
Make me forget about you,
The poor illusion,
The wall that doesn't speak,
The life without breath.
Let me break.

Don't ask me to explain.
In darkness I do stand again but
This is my zone, my home.
This is my strength.

Let me break.
Let me forget about you.


Details | Couplet | |

Broken Lamb the Absent Shepard

Broken, shattered, torn little pieces,
Of my self; I continue to lose the way,

Dealing, deserving, dishing out,
A suitable punishment there is not,

A bloody trickling of tears,
Covering the body in sickness and in fear,

Stretching the length of my insides,
My shame knows no bounds, besides,

Who could fix this broken thing?
So lost in a cliche of words that is so a maze, bring

Me, this lost lamb, no shepard to be had,
No, deserving hardly, I willingly walk the other way.

Shall I not desert the others?
I shame mothers and I shame fathers,

Stay away from me!
Only pain and misery that will be.


Details | Free verse | |

An explosion of sadness

Damn I knew that one day it would all build up,
and I would let it all out.
I knew that my heart was too fragile to carry such burden around,
and now I witnessed such a phase of sorrow.
In the car barreling down the highway,
with the radio up on MAX I stopped at a red light,
and I let go of the brake and floored it.
Through traffic and cars and trucks, SUVs crashing into each other,
as I pushed the pedal down to the floor of the car,
and I lost my breathe and I was sweating with fear and sadness,
I became a monster,
my brain lost it,
my heart became faint,
my kidneys feel to my knees,
and my stomach started to bleed.

My lungs, dead from holding my breath for too long,
it was a tragedy gasping for air,
as the sweat poured down my face;
I let two years of pain, heartache, love, hate, and secret emotion
out in front of the world to see.

The steering wheel was my punching bag,
and the radio was my soother,
as I couldn't take the pain of driving down the same road everyday
where we used to drive down and hold hands,
and we'd love each other;
I couldn't take the smiles anymore.
It hurt me,
It killed me,
and if I let if bottle up a little more,
-I would probably not be writing this poem then.

I couldn't take the voices of the past that were haunting me,
whisper in my head anymore,
those old places that once held good memories,
I wished they'd burn to the ground,
and those people, who I wasted two and half years of friendship over,
I wish them to be dead.
I was angry,
a storm of sorrow killed me,
and I became something I was not,
something I've always feared of being,
I turned into a monster,
only for a minute,
but it felt as if it were a lifetime.

My lip quivered,
my hands hurt,
my heart pounded,
my face turned pale and I went and parked the car;
and I prayed.
I tasted blood on the tip of my lounge,
and I didn't feel like myself.
I had a confession to make that day- and I made it...
I had to release it,

...at least it wasn't in a suicide note.

.2.4.2014.


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence Stolen

He comes to my room
Late in the night
When my mom is asleep
And turns off the light
What do i do what do i do
He's by my bed side
He slips his hand under my cover
And i just cried
I'm only 12 years old
I don't like what he is doing
I feel so dirty and bad
My heart the hate is chewing
I can't take it anymore
Why won't he leave me alone
I just want to be a kid
But now my innocence is gone
He told me don't tell
It would kill my mother 
He told me don't tell
He would kill my little brother
I feel so stuck
Who now will want me as a wife
There's only one thing left to do
So i took my own life


Details | I do not know? | |

Heart Broken A Thousand Times

My heart had broken a thousand times
It was never fix ever since 
They are memories of everything in your life
They are the punishments of my deep sins

Shattered to pieces
Broke me apart
I burst into tears with pain
On the moment you broken my heart

I kept my pain hidden everytime I see you
Hoping my heart will be fixed once
Hopes were just hopes 
It had never came true once

How long can I stay alive?
How long can my heart stays at its place
My heart had been broken a thousand times
And these pieces of memories could not be erased

Dying without happiness
I took all the sins you had
I took all the pain you gained
And threw it away
In the end, you broke my heart in return
This heart that stays in my life
This heart that had been broken a million times


Details | Free verse | |

A Pity-Pillow

A Pity-Pillow So Comfy
Placed & Plumped Consolingly
It Is Plush & Puffed With Feeling Sad
and Sulking Sorrowfully

Upon Hues of Blue & Charcoal-Lead
I Heavily Lowered My Bowed Head
As My Pity-Pillow's  Pushy-Perfume
Overwhelmed My Canopy Bed

Silken-Sorrow, It Softly Embraced
Trimmed In Night's Deep Shadow-Lace
My Pity-Pillow Took Teardrops' Taste
& Swallowed & Soaked - Every Toss-Turn-Trace

Oh, Pity-Pillow, Pathos-Filled
With Pain's Feathery Thoughts
You Have Plundered Every Pose & Peace! ...
Will Plumbed Depths of Sleep Not Be Caught?

Oh, Pity-Pillow ... Placate This Ill
You Make My Rest - A Bitter Pill !
I Close My Eyes, Only To See
My Sandcastle Dreams ... Spill ...

Still, It Gives Me Morbid Moments
To Indulge In My Misery
To Wail & Wallow & To Welcome
"Lord, Why Me?" and "Woe Is Me!"

Pity-Pillow of Memory Foam
Grasping "Got Cha'!" At Every Groan
Stacked To Decorate My Bed At Home
Since A Crushed-Velvet Spread Was Sewn

And Pity-Pillow's Pretty Case
My Face, Smoothly Covered
Muffled My Cries & My Sad Sighs
and My Life's Laughter, Smothered

and Blocks & Chokes Hope's Last Share
As Stranglehold's Strong! & Getting Somewhere
But Pity-Pillow's Pressure-Scare
Cannot Suffocate My Prayer's Air ...

Outside A Stormy, Half-Closed Window
Rain, Washed The Waves of Weeping Willows
As My Breath Pulsates In Sorrow-Billows
Over and On Past A Pity's Pillow ...

Yet, This Plumped & Prone To Pity, Pillow
Panders To and Pockets Me
Plush & Puffed With A Feeling Sad Story
and It Feels Good - Feeling Pretty Sorry

and If You Have Ever Felt Lain-Low
Upon The Pile of A Pity-Pillow
I Don't Even Have To Explain, You'll Know
How Hard It Is To Let Go

Oh, Pity-Pillow - Now Feel Dejected
For Tonight - You Will Be Rejected
and Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself!
As Back You Go - To The Linen Shelf


- Watch Out!    That's a pity-party, pillow-fight!


           Re-Written & Copyrighted ©:  9/21/2013 
           by:  MoonBee Canady






Details | I do not know? | |

A stupid poem! 09.17.2007

I kiss some other girl but,
She's not you,
I try to enjoy it but,
it's not with you,
I'm trying to bounce back,
get over you,
I try to move on,
Without you,
I wish the pain would stop,
the pain caused by you,
I wish I could stop looking,
at the pictures of you,
I wish I could stop,
feeling for you,
Feel like I could die,
without you,
can't seem to stop crying,
about you,
I wish I could see,
my life without you,
but it seems like I'm stuck,
forever without you!


Details | I do not know? | |

shooting stars

The waves of hatred and defeat
Go crashing into the rocky shore
With the sands of love and peace
Before you leave you must teach
The world what you have learned
For when you rise angels by your sides
You will take the worlds concerns

What you teach whether it wisdom or beseech
The knowledge you have earned
Let it wisen you further
Complete you with the gift
You have given unto the world
And when you fly
Saying your last goodbyes
Much the world has learned
So take this poem to
Consider or concern

For soon you rise 
You have the choiceof just how far you get
The angels cry
With weepy eyes
 forever in your debt

Choose wisely young one
Before your light is out
It flits and flickers some
Unsure, much in doubt

Take hold, control
Your future is bright
Leave your past behind
Leave it out of sight

Don't lie forgotten
Forever unaware
Of the time and its passing
Please, your thoughts you must share

Your light turned out
Your time is up
Your choice must be made
In white you rise
Your flight to the skies
As the stars in the night fade

The waves of hatred and defeat
Go crashing into the rockey shores
With the sands of love and peace
As the stars in the night soar


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Sorry

     You appeared in my life
     when I was holding the knife
you discovered me at my worst
     and now you’re paying the price

    You got the warning first
     I said I couldn’t quench your thirst
I told you the honest truth
     but you didn’t believe in the curse

     My emotions have been drained
     my thoughts on love have changed
I don’t feel the way I used to
     I am not the same

     The nightmare is still so real
     pain is what I feel
my smile has been painted
     my heart has not healed

     Tears sting my eyes
      laughing is my disguise
I’m so sorry that you’re here
     watching me break my ties

     I’m hurting and I’m bleeding
     I’m trying and succeeding 
he crushed my heart in his hand
     but yes, I’m still breathing

     Pain has made me convert
     to not believing love works
I’m so sorry that I’m broken
     I’m so sorry that I’m hurt

     You’re amazing in every way
     you don’t deserve any pain
I’m so sorry that this hurts
     I’ll be better someday


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Soul

Erika Raiken.
"Me Against Myself"
7/1/2011

Put your smile on your face kid, yea that's right, and forget about letting them know. Wipe your tears, pull that knife out your back. There you go. Play soldier, with your head held high, and smile like a champ. Now forget the pain and rip out, rip out your cursed bleeding heart.The heat of it. A thousand cindering tongues licking at your very soul. Corruption lurking in shadows, and yet there is no shade. Just shards that cut like razors in your chest. These are just the mistakes we make, coming from chances we shouldn't have taken. Is there any better way to say "Go To Hell" than E Tu Brute? And Caesar fell. This cataclysmic apocalypse, tearing the demons from your chest, and making them real. A century deep, yet sixteen years true. Sparkling
vision as the tears come. Wipe them now, don't let them see the pain that lurks inside of me, inside of you, inside of every broken soul this world can muster. And through all this drunken rage you find a peace three years deep. Now wake up, 
and remember those years are rotting in some gutter next to Edgar Allan Poe and his Raven. Nevermore! Put that smile on your face kid, and forget about letting them know how dead you are inside. Wipe your tears, and pull that knife with that glistening hollow-point smile, Forget the pain, and rip out the Cursed. Bleeding. Heart


Details | Free verse | |

Atrocity

 Landscape of Hiroshima about eight-thirty a.m.                                                               After the death angel Enola Gay turns away                                                                 she gave birth to the little boy as fiery rolling smoke starts clearing                             Etched upon a wall a boy and girl playing with a ball                                                          Those there could not see it for their eyes were melted                                                      A city meshed with death blood iron and rock                                                                    A three year old boy partially dripping skin cry’s for mom                                                   But a twelve year old girl looks unharmed but within days                                         Poisoned by death’s light she withers away                                                                    As you pull back from this horrific seen                                                                            It only magnifies for a hundred thousand plus                                                                   Stench smoldering flesh mingled with everything                                                          The land of sun lays beneath a blanket of death                                                                A city leveled by little boys fierce foul breath                                                                 And then aftermath for years later                                                                             Countless children die or are born defective   


Details | Free verse | |

Deadly Valentine

These red flames of the burning sun, 
remind me of my everlasting hell.

My skin melts and falls rotten, 
like spoiled fruits that grow old.

Tormented daily by thoughts of you, 
like fire its burning inside my soul.

You move slowly in my head, 
making my dead brain itch.

I feel pain in every limb, 
pins and needles poke me.

I am unable even to smile; 
my muscles have stopped obeying me.

If this pain goes on, I will go numb, 
because my senses are slowly dying.

My blood boils with my impossible desires, 
of seeing your beautiful face again.

I have lost my ability to dream, 
through all my sleepless nights.

I cry for you night and day, 
my tear drops have turned to blood.

Everything around me has died out, 
plants have turned black, and music has turned into silence.

All colors have faded away, 
just like the leaves of autumn.

And like my skin has become rigid, 
my soul has become weak and hollow.

My heart wrapped by razor wire, 
I know soon enough it will stop.

Hammers beating through my chest, 
even my lungs have abandoned me.

What is life if not with you; 
an empty shell lost in the sea.

I wish if you were here with me, 
without you my heart stops to beat.

And all my memory has been erased, 
except of the day that you left.

And there’s not enough roses I can collect, 
to sweeten the smell of your grave.

My sweet love, oh my sweet remorse, 
we were supposed to go together.

But I am condemned to live, 
with the memory of your death.

And every February 14th, 
your image like knives stabs my heart.

Misery has already taken my life, 
so what is the point of my existence.

Today is when I take my life, 
as a memory of our deadly valentine.


Details | Rhyme | |

Proceed with Caution

In webs of worry, and in needless hurry
I exhume a wound twice times buried
Deep within my sorrowful Heart
Two Lovers joined, then torn apart
Will we love again, will we love once more?
Or ache again lost Lovers' sores?
Oh, that burning pain I cannot endure-
I would not survive, of this I am sure


Details | Free verse | |

Depression

When you are numb and in pain at the same time...
When nothing, yet everything is wrong at the same time...
When just breathing hurts...
When sleep is the only time you escape...
When you can't resist it but you can't stand it...
When the tiniest things send you off...
When the smallest things become big accomplishments...
When you're constantly pushed away...
When you can't trust anybody...
When you're misunderstood...
When you stop caring about everything...
When you feel like everything is slowly fading away from your control...

You are a FIGHTER.
You are STRONGER than what is scaring you.
You are BETTER than you will ever know.

-Laura Bussey


Details | Rhyme | |

Taken By Depression

Why do I feel so very down?
Is this feeling going to last a long time?
I cannot laugh nor even a smile,
I hope the pain fades in a while.
My heads messed up, I cannot think,
Should i pop some pills or heavily drink?

I'm tired of *****like this,
I'm sure my chap is taking the Piss!!
Why is he doing this to me,
Flirting with my friends recently?
He says he loves me but does he I wanna know?
If he doesn't then **** it I'll just pack up and go.

I don't want to hurt anymore,
My life feels like one big chore.
I may aswell end it, no-one wants me here,
At least then my head will finally be clear.

I guess now is the time for me to go cos I cant feel any lower
than low.
I don't know if I'm ready to die but at least I will be with the Angels in the sky.

So goodbye to you all, I know I will see you again,
Finally I'm free...I see the light...Theres no more pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Alongside Agony

Provided that I no longer sigh
Any bloodcurdling curses
Whereby I have to flee my ease:
Neither my voice, nor my tongue,
Nor the deep sleep in my skin
Do save me power for this dimm’d wrought trip.
Then, needless to cram my dreary lyrics
With the bird songs of painful nights;
As no time is there for me to tear
Wicked pages in people’s awful pride.
Shall I cede my cosmic glimpses 
Striving overly those folk myths;
Or maybe keep closely every single far
Glittering dream by my tender side?
It is only when I sing the nightfall
Must the fierce wall disappear,
Dancing by those dusty fractures
Splitting all its standing rocks.
Save my grief I can nothing grieve
Back to the endless road of hope;
Where no fuel still rises waging
Warlike screams of my wordy brief breath.


Details | ABC | |

People

Some people will never learn,
Those who dont, cause concern.
They act like kids and it's all a game,
This is reality, Not something to play.
They dont care to see how it effects others,
Sex, drugs, and parties is all it is,
and all we can think is "Oh Brother!"
I dont understand how stupid people can be,
Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, There they go, Never cease to amaze me.
Because of this I may lose the one person I would hate to lose, Try again Please,
Even though we're only friends, I want to be selfish,
But even more, I want you to be happy.
I'm anti-social from time to time,
Time to think about the good things in life.
I hope that you could please remind me,
What is this piece of sh!t world coming to be?
I'm afraid if he goes, we'll lose touch,
and maybe the fact... I'll miss him too much.
Some people will never learn,
Those who dont, cause concern.
They act like kids and it's all a game,
This is reality, Not something to play.


Details | Free verse | |

How Do I Let You Go

What will be
Will be!
I know of this, first hand
Your life was taken away
So abruptly!
I will 
Never forget
That day!
Till the day 
My body dies
And
I am with you, again!

“How was I to prepare myself?”
With 
That kind of 
Life changing, event!
You 
Didn't warn me 
You
Were permanently leaving!
I hope 
You know 
How much “I love you”
Know
You will never be forgotten!

I don’t know 
What 
Has got into me!
Consciously
I feel you
Inside me
I see images
Of your face 
So clearly!
Am I crazy 
To believe in this, my love?

“Are you still with me?”
“Is my imagination 
Playing cruel tricks
Running rampant
As
I talk with you
As if 
You were by my side, right now

In my heart and mind
Your face etched
Imprinted
Like a blue print
That never fades
Your foot prints 
Still remain, beside me
My heart beats
Eternally
Trying to make sense of everything!

Forgive me, my love
For being so strong in my feeling
For it has been a long time
Since I lost you, my friend
Something 
I haven’t
Quite
Got over!

My heart 
Having 
A mind of its own
Aching 
To be with you, still!
To see you
To smell you
To touch you
To taste you
One
Last time!

I want to say “Goodbye” 
Once and for all!
As 
We have
Brought out
The best and worst 
In each other
Rivers run deep
When it comes to you and me!

We have had our fair share of fights and arguments
Stubborn disagreements
All of them
Meaningless
Now
You cease to exist!

I miss your lingering touches
Your hand, stroking my face
Your big, blue eyes
Looking into mine
Your warm lips
Your rough, unshaven face 
The way you
Passionately
Kiss me
While
We make love, till dawn

I miss
All those nights
You kept me 
Safe and warm!
I miss
Your
Loving embrace
I miss
Your
Reassurance!
“Am I ever going to feel the same, with another?”
Just
As 
I felt
In your arms, my love?

How
Do I let you go?
How
Do I set myself, free?
I am ready
To love, again!
With 
‘Our eternal love’
Supporting
And 
Guiding me
Especially
In times, like these!


Details | ABC | |

Fear is how he made you

You hold your side 
Because if you don't you know you will just fall apart 
Honesty, does nothing. Might as well lied 
You breathe deep to fill the empty space 
A place where hope should be 
But there's not a single trace 
You run to the space in your mind 
That's meant purely to hide 
You will never have a home 
Words just to make you cry 
The cold can't touch you 
Because the fear has already consumed you 
Fear you thought you could hide 
The pain you thought the world was bind too 
The hardest thing to know 
Is that your suffering is shown 
That those around you see you dying 
They reach out there arms 
But your not trying to get help 
You can do it alone
What's one more punch 
What's one more burse  
Or one more tear 
It makes you stronger 
Your just standing to close for it to be clear 
Enough is enough and you can't go one more day 
With a family of broken trust 
But your legs won't work and you clasp 
There's no more fight in you
There's nothing left to do 
You cry out to the heavens 
Screaming your sorry for everything you did 
And everything you didn't mean to do 
You know it's not your fault 
But it doesn't matter, His wrath is unwavering 
He didn't do it so it must be you. 
He tells you when the world blows up, it was simple to kill you 
Fear is something you learned at a young age 
Something that's stronger then love and stronger then rage 
Fear of losing everything he let you have 
You can wish and you can pray 
But one simply fact still remains 
He own you every day until breath leaves your body 
For fear and pain 
Is all that's left 
Because that's all he made


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

Suspended . . . tormented, in a mind so distant
I arrive at the said destination with a sigh. . .
What I expect is mortifying
What lies ahead still remains a meddlesome mystery
The air is thin—the water droplets seem. . . warm
But I feel a coldness when they hit my skin
The skin that only once touched your hand. . . . .
It is comforting when surrounded by shadow
To feel the soft embrace of long-yearned rain
It is dully consoling to know I am Alone. . .

Chemical reactions are made in instances
Each second of despair heightened by the electrical pulses
Going mad when the waters clash
And the feelings of comfort are gone yet again
The thoughts that used to hold me up
Have collapsed from under me
And Alone is felt in a new shade…darker than the shadow of comfort
The tears replace the rain. . .
Boiling the skin on my face to redden and shame
The burn provides little distraction to despair
Knowing the one I love will never be here. . .

Even now I envy those who can speak…
Who scoff and spit—and whine, groveling in grit
Those who can see and clearly feel their enemy
How they spiritually dispose of their peer
Through lack of understanding and jeer
I would much easier embrace my darkest enemy,
Than be with the one I love
I would much rather abuse myself
Than lay a finger on the precious one who wrongs me

Because you have abandoned all thought of me. . .
Through your life and innocence, 
You have harmed me—wronged me. . .
You were mistaken. . . .I can never understand you
Because I have never truly seen you
At times I can almost feel you. . .
But all I feel is pain
All I feel is the burning rain. . .

I envy those around you. . .
Like the madman straight out of prison
I even envy your opposers

In truth, I obsess over the thought 
Of Alone: 
The definition of “Without You” 

. . .

Without you here, 
I arrive at no destination
What lies ahead is only despair
The rain I feel . . . are tears—
Comforts that never last
And all that used to hold me up
Is merely a heart-broken collapse. . .

I never wished to cling onto your nonexistence. . .
Believe me—
All I ever wanted. . .
Was a thought
A.	. .chemical reaction if you will
A simple “I am here for you”. . .

Without you, Alone, I confess,
Sometimes one can only dream


Details | Rhyme | |

When Your World Falls Apart

 
(Rhyme) 


What do you do, when your world falls apart? 
What do you do? when somebody breaks your heart, 
You want for all the gray clouds to part 
And to bring in your world only sunshine 

What do you do, when your world falls apart? 
And nothing in your life seems to go for you right, 
But in the darkest moments of your life, you still fight to survive, 
For all that you hold dear, and you believe deep in your heart. 

What do you do, when your world falls apart? 
And you sit there alone in the dark, and you cry only to God. 
What to do when your heart is just bleeding, from too many wounds, 
That have been inflicted on you, and makes you only just fall apart. 

What do you do, when your world starts falling apart? 
I would say to you my friend just to get up fast and make a new start, 
Get in touch with yourself as fast as you can leave your past behind 
And always  remember, that tomorrow it's another day! 


Dorian Petersen Potter 
aka ladydp2000 
copyright@2014 


November,20,2014


Details | Free verse | |

Blood Red Poppies

Seen through the eyes,of the dead and dying. Sad pain ever remembered,within a heartache. Young people ever die,to preserve a way of life. War is such a sin,mankind killing off it's children. In Flanders Field,white crosses seem so endless. And poppies grow, the color of fresh blood. A sad reminder,of things so soon forgotten. That wars forever kill, our sons and daughters. We live within our pains,forever crying. As war toys,ever crush and grind our bones. Thoughts within our minds,so often trampled down. For in weighs upon the shoulders,of all mankind. Within the fields,tear drops in crimson falling. Ever flowing down the cheeks,of baby soldiers. And pain ignites,like an out of control fire. Within the hearts and souls,of mothers and fathers. In the end,we must remember that war is painful. And therefore must be stopped,before it starts. The young and innocent,forever give their flesh and blood. While politicians who start wars,ever stay at home relaxing.  And in Flanders Fields,the blood red poppies grow. In among white crosses,ever becoming more and more. And we seem so much better,at attending to the flowers. Then we are,at ever watching our children grow old. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Trying

there’s darkness all around me
so thick that I can’t see
all my life means nothing
I can’t take it being me

I take some pills 
but you stop me
I try again
and you commit me

I hide a knife from the nurse
and hoping she doesn’t see
what I’m about to do
please let me be


Details | Narrative | |

Love

It is there your love is like a star in the sky.
It lights my inner most darkness.
There your beauty is, cutting tears in my heart.
There you find love full of pride, happiness and feelings like any you could compare.
It is also of sorrow, hurt, anger and despair.
It is there I love with reason because of my life I hunt.
There I am always on prowl for the right one to give my heart.
To share my soul but to end my tiredness.
There I love just to feel all of this.
It is not my fault to whom I love, just to who I love.
But there God has given me the grace to knowing such one.
It is because of the kindness one might share, even if they are heartless inside.
It is still with feelings to which I love.
But with great honor to which I love thee.
It is of the loneliness I feel when I feel love.
It is there the emptiness is when there’s no one to share it with.
But it is the tear that wastes when there’s no one to care.
No one to catch the fall or wipe it before it runs down the cheek.
It is there I cry because you are not near.
Because of the hurt I feel but you are not here to kiss the pain away and say, it will be ok.
But there, love is all of me and my being.
Because it was of love to which God formed that of me and you.
But it was with thought, that he made that of you for me.
So I am not lonely but complete in my life.
That of the woman I love and none other will exist.
That there, I wish you were in my bed instead of the space I feel.
Because there, I will know I am fulfilled as I have got you to share my life with.
To wrap my arms around and whisper softly in your ear.
I Love You would be the right words you would hear.
But there, you know love is because it’s me you sharing it with.
A man with dreams but goals.
But a man who knows the true meaning of love because I feel its pain everyday.
That I would be happy to love for the right reason.
So all the hurt would go away.
But to love you would be my dreams but more then that, it would be my fantasy come true.
With lots of love from the one who cares.
With gentle kisses from my lips to yours.
I give you my heart, please be careful not to drop.
Cause it is already shattered from life as well as not having you to love.


Details | Couplet | |

Distance

I have depended on you through it all 
now im ready to jump and fall 

No more sweet innocent lines
id rather leave behind this pain and claim what is mine. 

The black spells all around, 
clame my heart without a sound

Prepared to loose my life 
to stab my heart with a sharp knife. 

Determined to rid of the pain inside
but not knowing how to cope and wanting to hide. 

I feel so afraid of the things ive done
of not being accepted and always having to run 

The darkness of the night shadows over this wee one
wanting to do anything that is fun

To do something daring, frightening and scary 
but longing for some love and comfort to relieve this weary 

Not knowing where to look, 
not even knowing the Holy book

I dont want my heart to feel so hurt 
to feel so burdened and disturbed

I can no longer see his face, 
and i feel so distant and scared in this place

All hope is lost at this time
im just hoping he can wait for me 

until I conquer this climb



Details | Suzette Prime | |

BURIED PAST EXHUMED

BURIED PAST EXHUMED

Today is a gift and always called present
Yesterday has passed and referred to as past
Nobody knows tomorrow and it’s always anonymous
My past was dead and long buried in the casket
All memories and remains six feet beneath the soil
I came in the present and lived in the present
I never knew the past, so I lived ignorant of its history
Not that I didn’t care to ask but what will I ask?
Something is wrong in the present that dates back to the past
This wrongful thing is connected to the future.

Today is the present and the present is a bad gift
The problems got too enormous; I capsized in it amidst storms
The wreck was too bad a worst; I got lost in it
Deep down the ocean of confusion; I lay amidst sharks
To the everyday of everyday; I strived to always survive to strive
There is always hope, and I hoped for a better tomorrow
While still hoping deep in the sea; sharks made my heart their abode
Continually attacking me and slowly draining my life away
To every solution I sought; no answer and no help
To the misery of the present; the worst awaits in future.

Death got our life on the edge
Every tight cliff too slippery to hold
Even in death; not all memories are dead
So far there is life, the truth always surfaces
At that unexpected moment, the truth got disvirgned
My dead past was exhumed with all the pains and sorrow
So wretched was the remains it drew blood amidst painful tears
At that moment, the symbols of the present had its meaning
It pains I knew now but it’s good to know how to tackle the present
Exhumed is exhumed; bury the remains again; the memories lives on...........

										…Lordvip…
			


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Torn

I am torn cause you broke my heart

I am torn cause you act like you had no part

I am torn cause you went away

I am torn cause your choice was not to stay

I am torn cause I believed you

I am torn cause you said we were threw

I am torn cause you said goodbye

I am torn cause our love was a lie

I am torn cause you walked away

I am torn cause I don't know what to say

I am torn cause I don't know what to do 

I am torn cause my heart can't live without you.....


Details | I do not know? | |

Your heart

what does your heart say?
can you hear it?
feel it?
when you push it aside do you feel regret?
longing?
or do you feel nothing?


Details | Free verse | |

True Reality

Why is it
I am always wrong?
Something
I have always done?
Why is it
I am 
Never good enough
In your eyes
In challenging times?

How many times
Do I have to say
“I love You?”
What will it take
To convince
That mind 
And 
Heart 
Of yours?

What can I say
That will ease 
This jealousy
And 
Resentment
You feel towards me
When drinking 
Too much booze
Killing what brain cells
Are left
In that stubborn 
Head of yours!

How long 
Will it take
For you 
To believe in me?
For I know
I am a fool 
Staying here, with you!
Feeling desperate
Lost and lonely
Dreams squashed
Emotionally drained
When ‘we’ need to pull together
In union ship
To make 
This bond strong
Between us!

'Uniting as One’'

'Love Conquering All'

“Well!”
“So, I am told!”

I love you more
Than this
Arguing and fighting!
But 
You refuse to understand
The love I have for you

My head 
Tells me to stay with you
But
My heart knows
I cannot!
For
I have asked you 
To be kind to me
I have asked
You to open up 

Your anger and rage
Continues growing
Out of control
Taking over
Like
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 
Burning bridges
Being ruthless
Always
Out for the kill!

I need to break away!
I need to clear my head!
I need to experience
Love and longevity
True togetherness
With 
The one’s I love!
My heart needs to experience
‘Healthy Love’
My heart deserves the best!
You now
Belong in my past
I am no longer the person
You once knew me, to be

Your insecurities
Your inner demons 
Far bigger
Than any of the love
You choose to acknowledge 
Or 
Feel from me!

You can believe this 
To be true
If nothing else!

“Love thy self”

Share
Without personal gain
Being 
Your Primary Motive!
Know Love 
Be Love, in Action!

Be honest
Have empathy now
As
I cut these cords
Of emotional bondage
That 
Bind us together 
True Love 
No longer 
Our foundation!

I stand on my own
Knowing
I have learnt the lessons
You have come to teach
I now know
What love isn't!
“I thank you”
For showing me this!

My illusions of love
Blinding me
Colouring my experiences
Revealing
Only what 
'I Wanted Us To Be'
Not
‘True Reality’


Details | I do not know? | |

My Countless Wishes -Part 1-

I wish 
To be a pigeon soaring in the morning sky
I wish
I have all my issues fly out the windows
I wish
My whole body could simply wither away 
I wish
To start anew and be on a fresh start 
I wish
I had the ability to fly 
I wish
To have a talent of writing cheerful, exquisite poems 
I wish
I could be a wonderful guy 
I wish
I could have a future family and be the best father in the world
I wish
I could have a positive mindset 
I wish
I had the desire to talk things out and live a peaceful life


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

I wish I could 
Go back to being five.
When life was easier
And every thing was 
ABC’s and one two three’s.
Now I’m older
Constantly 
Getting caught up 
Into lies and deceit.
Little did I know
That even the sweet ones
Will come and go.
And I hold on
To where I don’t belong.
Reaching out for a hand
That isn’t there.
Resting my head 
In the depths of despair.
03/01/09


Details | Sonnet | |

I'm Sorry

Dedicated to my best friend; I'm sorry Laura. May we never have a fallout again... 

--------------------------------------------------------------

My deepest apologies my dearest friend,
I hope we are on the mend.
I never meant the words I said,
And to lose you would render my heart dead.

It was all in pain when anger rose,
And every day my guilt grows.
Sorrow clouds my spirit,
Accusations it whispers, I can hear it.

From shallow dreams and haunting nightmare I wake,
I’m afraid I cannot fix this mistake.
Oh can you forgive me,
Or is our friendship not to be?

My heart lurches for the pain I caused you,
My best friend, to make this right again I’ll do what I have to…


Details | Rhyme | |

There Shall Come A Great Tribulation

There Shall Come A Great Tribulation!

You’ll find In the Bible... 
In the book of Revelation.
One day... There shall come
 a great tribulation.

There shall be famine and war 
this world has never seen.
"Satan's fury" being poured 
out upon everything.

The Antichrist will appear 
as "the world leader."
"The man with all of the answers."  
"A great world healer."

People won't be able to buy or sell
 without a mark on their hand.
While corruption and wickedness 
prevails throughout the land.

Our only hope and answer during 
much chaos and anxiety.
Is Jesus.  In HIM we can 
have life abundantly!

This world shall one day 
perish and pass away.
 God's truth and his word are here to stay!

Come to Jesus now... 
He invites you to come.
Accept the gift of eternal life 
from God's precious son!

He's our only hope in this
 world which we live.
He is so patient and kind... 
willing to forgive.

Will your name be in God's 
book of life someday?
Are you ready to meet him on judgment day.

This world... or Jesus... the choice
 by you must be made.
The price for your soul... 
on Calvary... has been paid!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Casualty of Carelessness

I splash my ideas onto a canvas of creation.
Creativity seems to run off of the painting
as I try to rush perfection.
I feel the stress of procrastination
placing its weight on my chest.
Drops of craftsmanship fall from the edges,
being destroyed by the harsh impact with the ground.
Stress turns to regret as time 
escapes me more and more.
Pressures of failure squeeze my head
and puncture my thoughts.
I cannot handle the weight anymore.
Stress crushes the easel of my mind,
causing it to collapse.
The contents of my brain burst
from the severity of the fall.
Everything has failed.
I have failed.
My mind has failed.
I try to scoop what I can save back
into my skull but,
it all seeps back out through the cracks.
I watch as all I have worked for drains 
out of my head into the mouths of
stress and pressure.
I run my fingers across my scalp and
feel the cracks close up,
leaving my abilities to die.
I stop feeling the cracks.
My fingers slip in between chunks of my hair
and cling to it.
I widen my eyes as I attempt to pull
my hair out my head.
Pain shoots throughout my body,
stinging my retinas and burning my head.
I stop feeling the cracks 
because all I can feel is the pain.
I want to give up.
Give up on creation.
Give up on trying.
Give up on pulling my hair.
But all I can feel is the pain stinging,
burning, and laughing at me.
I watch as I float away from my mind.
I watch it get consumed by monsters.
I stop pulling my hair and
fall back to my mind.
Pain still boils my heart as I
watch my mind get consumed.
Tears attempt to sooth my pain but
dry up short of the source.
I reach for the tears but only get failure.
I reach again.
Failure.
I reach again.
Nothing.
My tears soon turn into sadness as
failure accompanies my procrastination.
I want to kill failure but
it’s too strong.
I kick at it.
It breaks my legs.
I swing at it.
It bites off my fingers.
I feed it conventions.
It vomits them all over what I have left.
I give up and scream for mercy.
Failure laughs.
Stress pulls my hair.
Pressure breaks my bones.
I try and try and try but failure 
eats my soul.


Details | Free verse | |

Everyone's Gone

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to look up to...not one...
Not one will be kind enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the debris
There's no one there to save me...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
I guess I'll find my way out of this maze
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to dawn upon me

Everyone's gone
I'm dealing with so much trauma 
I'm watching for any signs of support...
Hear my echoes of pain...
It drives me insane...
Catch me before I fall off the cliff...

Everyone's gone
I'm all skin and bones
I'm trapped like a hunted animal
The predator took a bite into me...
Don't just watch me suffer...
Deserted in this lonesome state

Everyone's gone
I'm kicked around like a soccer ball 
Hear me as I call...
Help me to stand tall

Help me... 
Reach up to the sky
To feel the coolness seep through me
Help me...
To be inspired to write more uplifting songs
Help me think more positively - help me wave g'bye
Help me...
Forgive me for all of my wrongs...

Everyone's gone
I'm a screwed-up building
I need you to be my backbone 
Straighten me up...help me to be stiff like a soldier
About to enter another horrifying war
Support me today...
And stick with me tomorrow!

I want to let go of the past memories...
Scaring away my happy moments and delights 
I want to smear away the blasphemies…
Obliterating my blissful days and nights

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to depend on...not one...
Not one will be brave enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the city
There's no one to show me the jolly sun...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
Fine… I'll find a way to get out of this nightmare 
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to give me strength instead of fear 


Details | Quatrain | |

A Lonely Path

A lonely path, in the dark it moves on It meanders within the deep, dense fog Along the way there are many roses Some of which lay on an old decayed log Twenty-seven in all, each an angel All of which had their life cut way too short An ending that was abrupt and so quick Tears run down my face I sadly report No more is there any children’s laughter The families weep while in such great pain It seems that when things like this do happen The days are always darkest in the rain May we can console them as best we can Light a candle in honor of these few If we could all band together as one And show our love, this is all we can do
Russell Sivey Dedicated to all the victims of the Newtown tragedy! Entrant into SKAT- AB SIN THE-'s "In Memory of the 20 + 7 new angles of heaven~ "our own little poetry soup VIGIL"" contest 12/19/2012


Details | I do not know? | |

When

When your church turns against you, 
What more pain could there be?
You need them most they’re not there
It’s what happened to me

When your date of expiration,
Comes and goes it is true
Tis life’s pain and the arrow
That was meant for you

You’re holding us fine,
But you’re only human, you know
Then you break down and
You let your weaker side show.

When your nerves are on end,
And you’re shaking all inside
When your breathing is shallow,
And there is none by your side.

A slit on the wrist, 
Or maybe across the neck
What’s the use in living?
What’s the use, what the heck?

What’s the use in living?
Why keep going on?
My life will never be good
Singing melancholy’s song. 


 


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

The best things in life aren't things. So here's my gift back to you. Although the way to predict the future is to Invent it. I'm sorry we Invented this "relationship". However tough times never last but tough people do.             11/2/08


Details | Free verse | |

YOUR, DEW DROPS

Shall the truth sprout from my tongue!
That had lied too many,
But I ain't lying to you, my love
For your death, my tears, will compete with the rains,
That fills the oceans, to its full, to its brim,
And the flowers that filled your odor,
Shall not be blown with any of those of the heavens,
I am, with you, in the world of the dead,
Wandering heavily, in search of the odor,
That lighted my nose, my eyes, my heart,
In the world, where the alive, we were.

Oh my flower, shall you sprout again,
I shall never be the winds that make your petals shake,
I shall never be the bee that bite you and steal your nectar,
I shall never be the thorn that hurt you and makes you bleed…,
Oh my love, I will be your dew drops,
That touches your mind to your body,
Drop by drop, make you alive; fill your heart with a gentle chill,
Kiss you, a thousand kiss, make you smoother,
Fill your nectar with the honey, that no bee ever tasted,
Then I will dance with you, and make love to you,
To your entire petals, till I fall and take my last breath.
 
I wasn't a traitor, my love,
I wasn't a liar, my love,
But I cared for you as the light, the sunlight,
That watched you from a distance, from a very long distance
From the spaces, as the sun, as its light,
But couldn't touch, couldn't lay my hands on you,
On your heart, on your mind and couldn't know your pain,
Those made your petals shrink, tired, and fell one by one
Till you fell off in the search of moister, for air,
And took your last breath in front of me and died.
©Anees Rahman


Details | Rhyme | |

LEFTovers

Left in my own thoughts Tarnished forever through nightmares Pierce me with your passions…tangle me in your knots You left me…I have no choice, but to cry… I’m breaking by the seams I drink in the sorrow… I spew up regret… I cannot drink any further I drink and drown myself – unable to hope for tomorrow I’m left in my own thoughts…I cannot walk any longer I recall my past decisions…I’m swallowed up by the echoes of fear I’m not your valuable merchandise! Don’t seek me – you wanted your dreams to come true and peace to draw near Don’t count on me – I’m not wise! I’m swallowed up by the churning sea… Leading me to my own demise I drink in the sorrow… I puke up resentment…I’m upset and cannot go on with life I douse myself in my misfortune – no one listens to me… No one catches me before I wallow… Pick me up from the murky waters Lift me up from the gutters Make me spotless and leave me the leftovers Dress me up and hand me some covers I’m trying to piece together my fragmented thoughts I can’t see a happy ending in this scene – Preserve my notions in Your thoughts and save them like leftovers… Oh, but my thoughts are thrown in the trash like rotten leftovers – left unseen Tarnished forever through nightmares My foul ideas don’t have a structure – they’re just… Tangled up knots


Details | Rhyme | |

From My Short Story 'Lonesome'

Her hand upon my neck she swung herself around. 
She placed her other hand on my cheek and looked deep into my eyes. 
Her long black hair fell beyond her waist. Her smile of love turned to sadness.

She spoke,
 
“Oh, you are not he for that my heart longs.
Now I still feel all sadness in my songs.”

She continued.

“For as the sun arose and the light filled my room,
I waited for my love, as does my empty womb.

Where are the hands that do caress,
And where is he soothed by my breast?
Mirror in hand my beauty for him.
A stroll or a ride or a romp on a whim.
Together with him I’m ever complete.
We lay under the stars in a field of wheat.
Next to me I tremble with delight.
In his gentleness I put up no fight.
I’m never afraid where he takes his love,
Beyond the heavens soaring far above.
Stay with me a little longer, don’t go.
Your soul in mine I’ll never say no!
As his hands they travel my slender frame,
He whispers so gently to me, my name.
Glinting in moonlight his beads of sweat,
I wipe with my hands, his brow so wet.
He looks deep in my eyes and can feel my heart.
Our breathing the same please lets never part.
His head on my breast, my hands through his hair.
For a moment together we both gasp for air…

That night long since gone my love off to war,
He never returned my heart ever sore.

Each morning I wake the light fills my room.
I wait for my love, as does my empty womb."
 
Her hands upon my face she looked deep into my eyes…
I felt her love and the love she lost. 
Her broken heart and sadness filled my soul.

She turned away and walked into the mirror.


Details | Free verse | |

Seeded Pain

This is far more greater a pain that was ever needed ,
The damage done long ago when it was seeded.
    This hurt you planted deep within me ,
Has grown to a  size that just shouldnt be .
     Disrespect and neglect it means nothing to you,
For it is something you just will always do.
     Love doesn't hurt like this it never  could ,
The words mean nothing to you but they should .
    Compassion and understanding is what love takes ,
If you want to live a love without heartbreaks.
    Talking and listening go hand in hand ,
To love in this life as a woman and a man.
     Im so devistated by the events of these days ,
Not able to to get you to ever  change your ways.
     How can I convince you that it is all a mistake,
And the pain and hurt  I can no longer take .
     Makes me never  wanting to awaken again,
No matter  even if it's  Gods  greatest sins .
TAC 


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

Stay alert to the melodies surrounding:
The banging on the walls,
so distant, so loud.
the noise resonates hatred
and tells of battles once fought,
once lost.
the scraping of rough feet,
on the smooth, dirty tile.
the noise resonates sorrow,
and tells of times once tried,
once failed.
The opening
and closing
of doors.
The noise resonates dashed hope,
and tells of dreams once dreamed,
once ruined.
The shaking of the house.
those who think they are larger
try to knock down the house.
All they do is shake it,
though do they ever give up?
The noise resonates All things,
and tells of everything once created,
once destroyed.
eliminate the senses,
as the sound envelops the body that's
neglecting the invasion.
But the heart was never strong enough
to eliminate the rebels,
that secede the senses.
Each note touches the heart,
sending like a storm
visions throughout the heart
filling each inch with sorrow,
deceit,
pain,
letting the ensemble reverberate
through the veins,
touching first the hands
losing insensitivity as they start to shake.
Moving to the feet,
falling through the ground as they begin to quake.
And forcing through the blockade
into the mind
shutting down thought
no future, only past
as these thoughts,
with such grace,
envelop each neuron,
slipping to the mind
like a fox
visions of tears
from past moons.
Present tears begin to form
stealing security;
peace of mind.
Don't run,
Don't hide,
from the teachings
of survival
in experience past.


Details | Free verse | |

Letting Him In

You said you love us
And would never hurt us
But then you let him walk into our lifes
Even with everything you know
You wouldn't say no and just walk away
You finally stood your ground
Said never and left him for all he's worth

I hope you never know 
All the things that go through this head
I hope you never know
All the pain that i felt
I hope you never know
All the nights that i lied awake in bed
I hope you never know
All the tears that shot down my face
I hope you never know
All the pain

All the pain you invited in
Just by letting him walk in
All the sorrows you carried in
The ones with no end
All the sleepless nights that would begin
All the tears that have no trace
All the fears I face inside
And all the nightmares that came to be

And all this
Just by letting him in


Details | I do not know? | |

chronicles of me

1990 was the year if my details are in order.
When everyone at home was woken by the unforgiving blast of gunshots.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
And that signaled the end of a life,
The death of a loved son,
The death of a cherished grandson,
The death of a respected friend,
The death, of an unknown brother.

Yes, that was my brother, or so I’ve been told.
When this happened I was just 1 year old.
So you can forgive me for not remembering him,
Not face, not eyes, not smile nor limb.
I wonder how different my life would be,
If  around the house it wasn’t only me.
Only me to bare the deafening silence,
Only me to see the brutal violence.
Only me to bring blood-filled tears,
Only me to inflict treacherous fears.
Only me, that’s how its always been,
Only me, that’s how im always seen.

For that reason my heart’s been stone,
Already accepting ill end up alone.
If the world can take what I do not know,
Yet can still keep safe my every foe,
What hope do I have that ill succeed,
What proof is there that ill proceed.
Proceed to live a long and happy life,
Proceed to cater for a loving wife.
All these things are hard to see,
All because my heart is not free.

I can only dream and hope of better days to follow,
Til then, what’s inside will always be hollow.

Im counting the minutes, hours and days,
Waiting til all this pain fades.
Slowly but surely, I will heal,
And all the pain ill no longer feel.
Cause I am a soldier and ill fight til the bitter end,
Cause now I have a weapon, a weapon called friend.


Details | Narrative | |

The Sea Blue Eyes II

There she is the false image standing quietly
She is just standing looking at a beautiful flower
She notices her passion of earthy desire
Something is happening she burst into the sun
I look up as her hands grasp my face
Her sea blue eyes gazed at me
Her warm hand and then a bright light blinded me
I went down on my knees and cried
The salty water dropped on to the ground 
I live by the ocean so deep
I do not know how to swim
By the thought of a beautiful look 
That made me shake
With fear in my head I saw those Sea Blue Eyes
I cannot restrain myself she burst into the sun
What is going on is it just the feeling of being left behind
She was a desire and now I have none
Driving nuts and insane what will I do
Believing such a image is a dream
I walk on the sand by the ocean with flowers in my hand
Raising it to the sky and trying my best to lure her
The image came close 
It pulled me into the ocean I was soaked
What a lonely human being I am
I grope the sky with such desire
I look pitiful and look anguished
What horrible feeling I have to pull the beauty that is nature down
The wind blew one day the image once more appeared
A young woman standing beside a flower with deep Sea Blue Eyes
Looked at me a glance of hope and happiness came
I reached for her and all of a sudden I fell into a deep sleep
Months past they had told me that I jump off a cliff 
They explained that the flower patch was by it
I realize heaven and earth cannot be reached with out a sacrifice
With meaningless thoughts I would wonder of to the cliff area
To see the ocean were it meets and ends
I was told a story long ago that the feelings of the ocean can seep into your soul
The trend of this story came shortly after some deaths
I was fooled the lady with the Sea Blue Eyes can manipulate anyone
Ladies and men, she is an illusion of the utmost desire
Blaming everyone human kind knowing they are lyres
The ghostly images that creeps everyone is oneself
Desire falls upon those who are lonely 
Believe of the unnatural becomes science
The Sea Blue Eyes is no lie cause they have been taking souls
Through century they have been taking souls for tolls
I stood once again near the ocean reaching to the sky
Lonely I was ready to disappear 
One day she not the lady of the sea it was the one I knew
I was blessed that day she embrace me 
I then fell into a slumber of bliss and desire
Now I just hear voices and I am paralyze down
A disappointment I was fooled once more by the Sea Blue Eyes 

To be continue.


Details | ABC | |

amends

Salty tears and razor blades
 The pain drips slowly from my skin
 Physical pain sets in, emotional pain subsides
 Then begins again
 When the pain builds inside 
I want to escape 
I want to run
 I want to hide
 I can’t hide from myself 
I do this to cope
 When I’m down low laying broken on the floor
 Left with no hope
 In the moment I want to fade the hurt
 I slash my pride 
Demean my worth
 See myself through your eyes
 It’s your distorted perception of me
 False esteem, iniquitous lies
 It’s not easy living in an unhealthy mind
 Wrapped in a warped sick self 
I start to unwind
 A bawled up knot 
Frayed at the ends
 Then I realize when I hurt my self
 Its to my loved ones I must make amends


Details | Rhyme | |

Pain

Exquisite pain
Outlive those tears
Pictures in rain
Black cruor smears

Dovey Annie


Details | I do not know? | |

Darkness

Sitting in the dark
I can’t find the light.
Theres no pain on this side
It feels oh, so right.
Hate when the sunshine
Its morning time,
I can see everything around me
And it’s not a delight.
At night
Everyone’s asleep
Ah, the sound of peace.
Wrapped in my sheet
With lots of sweet dreams
Don’t wake me now 
Not today
Not tomorrow!
In the dark 
I can hide my feelings
Darkness is my healing
Oh sun
Please don’t rise
I don’t want to see you
In my eyes.
You’re  to bright
I hate the light
Just set
And let me rest
And let me rest
Let me be death’s mistress.
09/25/07


Details | Rhyme | |

hologram

It would be better if we were all just holograms,
no feelings in our gut or dying from our cells.
This doesn’t make me crazier than I am,
We’ve got parents and their children dying in this hell.
Can’t you make me out of sand?
Smooth my edges and fill me till I’m whole.
I’d be so much better than I am. 
And I have stories that have yet to be told. 

With the skin and bones that make us real,
comes pain waking us for the moon.
Inside and out we always feel,
Down your companzine and they tell you “soon.” 

Make me out of wood and sculpt my shape with clay.
I was a real boy once but not anymore.
Please give me life just by taking it away. 
Cause living it’s become my chore.
If not that give me grenade hands of smoke. 
Blasting off at the shells of empty rooms,
or the gas of tears to make them choke.
I’ll be me again real soon. 

With the skin and bones that make us real,
comes pain waking us for the moon.
Inside and out we always feel,
Down your companzine and they tell you “soon.” 

Give me what I need to go on,
give me what I need to not to go wrong.
Nothing less nothing more.
Nothing less nothing more. 


Details | Elegy | |

Marie III--Is the Coffin Too Deep

So frigid was her immaculate body Her last second in screams is all I can see Love's revenge was my guilt With you I'd rather let you die with Bound hands Without you, Marie, like the psychopath's dream Death is all that I can see; All that could redeem Did anyone ask Did anyone recall The sweet taste of the poison The swift slash of the knife he penetration of the lead The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Was it so hard to solve Was it so hard to see That I strangled her so easily My nails piercing her comely skin Blood dripping like the pomegranate I crushed with the shovel I shattered her shins The knife to slight her wrists Didn't you see I did it all The only witness Couldn't say Is the coffin too deep? The pain of her decaying hear tI can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Marie I cant stay Earth is to cruel when your coffin is to deep Forever in death and in death alone The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep?


Details | Rhyme | |

Driven Insane

I don’t know where to start
When I look around me, I see myself slipping and falling apart
I’m drifting… I’m falling away into the dark
I’m dealing with stress...and now I hear the dog bark…

My eyes open like corridors... my life is a curse 
When I try to ignore the chaos... the dilemma gets worse and worse 
I'm failing... I'm yearning for peace to rebuild my courage
I'm marinated in turmoil...and I'm close to my breakage

Driven insane… I'm wide awake… recollecting my thoughts
I’m backing away from any danger coming my way
You tossed me in the drain… I’m resting… trying to untangle the knots
Overpowering pain… but now I’m losing control… 
But I’ll stop writing today . . .. . .. . . 


Details | Free verse | |

Her

A smile that never reaches her 
eyes

A laugh that never reaches her 
soul

A hug she cannot feel

A numbness that is everlasting 

Numb to the world around her 
but not the pain inside

The allure of love and the false 
hope it provides

Beckoning to her like the 
warmth of a sun rise 

Filling her eyes with light, a 
change from the sticky dull of 
pain

A light that soon fades, 
dripping out in the tears she 
cries

Her heart flooding with pain, 
and drowning in tears 

Waiting for the sun rise to 
return

Through the dark night she 
cries

Tears of anguish wash away 
her pain

The sun rises for another day

The smile fake, and 
misleading, but it keeps the 
questions away

To start another day and end 
another night

Anxious for the day to last 

To end her waking pain, and 
kill the darkest night

The lingering bitter taste of 
tears as it fades

The smile becoming real

The flood waters draining 

The pain being released by a 
loving hug, and a waking 
happiness

Stored away for months like a 
sleeping bear

Waiting for warmer weather to 
warm her soul, and
make her smile warm and real 
again

To make her... her


Details | Rhyme | |

Note to my Cousin

Cousin i think I've been looking a little longer
Searching for love since i was way younger
Take all your heartbreak and times it by two
Then maybe you'll have a glimpse of what I've been through

Because i have moved so often in my life
I've had many more women to stab my heart with a knife
And you know how there's always someone telling you you won't suffice?
That's at every school, and I've moved more then thrice

You know me cousin, i still have that armor
But cracks in it have been started to show
I don't know if I'll last that much longer
Waiting for my heart's blacksmith to show


Details | Free verse | |

1937

Madrid it is a hot and sad place.
Filled once with music and pretty women
now filled with bombs blasting on street corners
and old women hovering over their dead husbands.
Madrid was once a place of love and culture.
Love was full through every hotel lobby
to every small cafe, love was all around.
Now, nothing but abandoded buildings
inhabited by rats and broken dreams.
The hotel lobbies once home to rich folk in tuxedos
drinking expensive champagne and dancing,
now filled with young boys bleeding from bullet wounds
and burn't to the bone.
Madrid once a home to life
now a home to death and war.
Fellow Spaniard fighting fellow Spaniard
in a Civil War between life and greed.
Life was all good and well
till 1937 came around.


Details | Free verse | |