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Sad Nostalgia Poems | Sad Poems About Nostalgia

These Sad Nostalgia poems are examples of Sad poems about Nostalgia. These are the best examples of Sad Nostalgia poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

You Caught The Wind

I remember you, from when there was a spring When the seasons were ripe, with verdant green Our nimble feet danced in the wind and on the brink of everything Not a furrow in the brow of youth We borrowed life for just awhile We tapped our shoes, on a promised stage Where carefree laughter was the rage that filled our age with endless miles We danced and twirled a twin ballet just you and me on summer's waves Two pirouettes, in mode of curls of blossoms, frilled, and tender leaves unfurled in winds, we found a way to soar our wings, above the world We knew not yet of death or dying or of regret, or cause for crying But, something frowned upon the season You caught the wind, and without reason A colder wind that kept you flying far beyond my eyes could see And to the other side you disappeared beyond my words beyond my tears Now here alone I touch the day and taste the night remembering I will walk alone, in autumn sun And lay myself on dying leaves I think of you and think of then I feel the wind against my face that sweeps me to a distant place where I recall what is not erased I'm closer now... to hear the sound The whisper of the seasons calling Above the trees, the sky is blue I think of you, and feel the breeze And all the while, the leaves are falling
....................................................................................................... For Catie's Contest: Inspired by a poem by Elaine George: "Autumn - A Ballade"


Details | Shape | |

Spring Bud

                                
                                 
                                  
                                 
                                
                                 My 
                               breath
                          shivers under  
                       a rug of loneliness,
                    a sleepy heart huddles
                   against such memories 
                 of togetherness and not of 
               goodbyes, hating to disperse 
               the fiery rhymes of your lips, 
                as well as the warmth of its 
                 sweat...tastes like red wine, 
                   then it beats...and beats
                     gently, as it envisions
                          you, in an early
                                misty
                                   s
                                  p
                                r
                               i
                              n
                            g






Details | Romanticism | |

A Rose In The Heather.

So still and beautiful lays the rose in the heather,
Lifeless and dying, given to bring you happiness,
So fragile is this rose laying in heather,
Slowly withering and drying, crumbling to a powder,
I look at you and see this rose ever fading,
Once growing, living, accenting its surroundings,
But now gone, plucked from the bush by one mans lust,
I could never compare you to this rose laying in the heather,
For your beauty surpasses its own,

So still and beautiful lays this rose in the heather,
Now dried cracking and dead, stored in a book to bring memories,
So weak and faded is this rose in yellowing heather,
Slowly falling apart as you touch the fragile petals,
I look at you and remember the flower when it faded,
That germinated and grew where I had sown its seed,
Now gone, plucked from the ground by one mans hope,
I would never compare you to this old heather and roses,
For its life was surpassed by yours,

Now I tell you I love you with cellophaned roses in heather,
Draining lifeless this dying confession of my dreaming,
This rose is more fragile then the first had I gave you,
But I could’t approach, my courage eroding at your sight,
I look at you now and see the love I sought inward,
Once alive and growing but only within lost confines of myself,
But never quite gone I hold this consuming fire close inside,
I could never combine your world with mine,
You always looked passed never noticing me,

Now I open my book that holds the first rose, wishing I gave it for the sake of 
chance,
Instead I hold a created memory that never came passing, 
That never could I fear,
I hold tight to the lie that through wonted silence I painted,     
But that chance for your love died with the first rose wrapped in heather.


Details | Ballad | |

This Song is for my Mother

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……

For you

Would have placed 
A magic carpet 
‘neath your weak and shaky legs

Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again

Would have bribed 
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain

Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again

Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old

Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark 
And lonely soul

Be the girl
Playing games
In a world 
The sun won’t set

Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away 
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day

I’m  drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….



Details | Senryu | |

carved on a willow

carved on a willow
our love growing out of reach


Details | Imagism | |

Between Shades

“Alive,” she said,
 “and becoming such a beautifully-
painted picture.”

Where-in you walk wispy
(She said)
through the moon’s light
shinning on the branches
of leafless trees.

Then tomorrow shakes his tired head,
halfway into Autumn’s-
dead middle;
and you stand shaded and colored
(She said)
by the fiery skies.

While down among your feet
the wilted flowers 
wake like a carnival 
and encircle you
(She said)
with forgotten happiness.

And on you trod shyly
into forests of yes and no.
Where all happiness is lost,
and the flowers forget-
to grow.

“Alive,” she said.


Details | Verse | |

Periphery

On a path laid as a snake,
Trodden down a winding wake,
Curls and slithers into night,
To thrones of ever-dimming light;
I hold still and gripped with feeling
In a mist that wraps concealing,
And I glimpse her flicker by
From the corner of my eye.

Heartless granite fissures break
At prayers to God of souls to take,
In their vessels bled to white,
Shells of failure and of blight;
It snares and snags as ivy veins,
Upon the brickwork, grasps and strains,
And I catch her ribbons fly
From the corner of my eye.

Set adrift in this domain,
The dead volcanoes that refrain,
Never smoking nor erupt
For the end was sharp, abrupt;
I feel the ether of despair
Envelope skin with frosted air,
I spot the crystals melt and die
From the corner of my eye.

No space for sorrow to explain,
To tell how love was savaged, slain,
The stir of breath can bare disrupt
Or wall of silence interrupt;
A fear of days, in truth, compare
With nights that always hunger there,
Unguarded moments, her I spy
From the corner of my eye.


Details | Free verse | |

How I Danced!

The night is cold, awaiting the early light of dawn
My body shivers, my feet like ice, I long for sleep but it does not come 
Like so many lonely hours in the darkness
The ache of my bones so cruel and relentless

Tears on my pillow, I once again slip from the warm covers
Leaving the placid breath beside me, never knowing I’ve gone
I would give so much to have the peace of slumber
The chance to dream of an earlier life, one that is gone now

Where I danced with the clouds on a warm spring day
Ran in the woods chasing butterflies or a humming bird 
The gentle breeze brushing against my skin
My soul free to be who I am, without the pain of this withering shell

Some nights I long for an end to this misery
Life has dealt such a difficult challenge
But more often, I sit in the dim light of the morning
Remembering my youth and the freedom that it gave

How I laughed in its face, knowing I would always be young
That I would always be ready to take on the world unencumbered
How naïve…and how unappreciative of the wonders of my youthful body
Pushing the limits of this fragile home to my soul, never fearing an end to my 
flight

But the dawn comes, and I bravely go on to face another day
Determined to make it the best possible
Although this life, even with it’s wicked edge, so unexpected
Arrived before I was ready to give up my wonderful dance of freedom

I rub my twisted joints, warming them near the fire
Knowing that, even through the pain there is hope
For my mind is sharp, my wit is clever 
And I may yet find joys in the brightness and warmth of this new sun

For I can still hear the birds sing their happy tunes
Watch the grandchildren’s innocent play, their melodic giggles of joy
And remember how it was not so long ago…
And how I danced! 


Details | I do not know? | |

Condemnation

One will never understand
the strength of desire and passion
that the slightest touch of his hand
would force me into submission.

Walking in the darkness
hiding behind closed doors
living with the sadness
that this love could last no more.

I yearned to scream out loud
that I loved him with all my heart
but forbidden loves stay underground
I guess we knew that right from the start.

In our own world we would live
together, forever more
me, I had my life to give
but could we beat this mental war.

The day had come to say goodbye
but for me it came too soon
as deep inside I wanted to die
my heart was out of tune.

So here I sit and long for the past
waiting to feel free
but still my life is overcast
so I live within the memory.


Details | Haiku | |

buried secrets

where the seagull dies
stringless origami cries
loneliness of soul

koi fish suffocate
colors fade in Bonsai trees
island in distress

words not understood
shadows grin tricks on rice walls
tsunamis in eyes

geisha of the world
love is lost in illusions
freedom is her dream

men with cold fingers
whither blossom of her spring
harakiri end

in the seagull's grave
origami secrets kept
chicks learn how to fly
 
www.scripca.com


Details | Narrative | |

Alone in a Hospital Room - An Alzheimer's Song

Don’t you remember, love, how we danced that first night;
beneath the sun’s rays, toes dipping in the cooling sand, 
to the tune of our favorite song –
with me humming the best I could – 
(I sounded terrible, but you told me I sounded divine, remember?)
while falling all over myself, and your delicate feet; 
and you, trying so hard not to laugh as I made such a fool of myself!
Did you ever think we would go 
from being love-sick teenagers dancing on the beach, 
to a couple of old-timers reminiscing 
about our best years – our long ago days together? 

Honey? 
Sweetheart, please…
If there is any part of that teenage girl 
left within that beautiful head of yours…please; 
please, just look in my eyes as you once did…
look at me, sweetheart…
Don’t you remember? 

My love, do you hear? 
They’re playing our favorite song…



*Inspired by Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest
I really hope I did this right! :)


Details | Rhyme | |

The Park -- Part Two

(Please read The Park -- Part One first ...
This is a continuation from Part One, due to space limitations)

Yes, kids at play are bold and wise
with flashing smiles and knowing eyes.
Children bore easily with grown up prattle;
their thoughts turn to cake and to toys that rattle.
They know that Belles and Bills tell lies.
Time is but a birthday gift or new surprise;
more games to play; a windy day for a kite one flies;
coins that shine; toys that squeak;
a trip to the zoo at the end of each week.
But Belles and Bills persist in their story.
Some even mention forgotten glory.
Children go home to eat, to sleep.
Belles and Bills their vigils keep;
falling leaves and darkening sky
shows them their truth and the children's lie.
Nothing is forever; all things die.
Then, Belles and Bills go back to flats,
to wait -- to wait till morning comes.
They listen to the rustling rats
and slowly sip their gins or rums.
Eyes are glazed; minds are dazed.
The atmosphere grows dim and hazed.
They will await, once more, the sun's first ray --
the birth, in the park, of another day.
Before they leave, they look all around,
surveying the world to which they're bound;
then, they shuffle away, with airs of sadness
at being, always, on the verge of madness.
The echo of an unheard bark
reverberates throughout the park.
Fallen leaves and darkened sky
confirm the truth.  Children lie.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Glutton

This's the world of dreams  and 
reveries
Where I think ev'ry that reels,
After a thousands times,
would as same beliefs things 
besought me,
Is it a mere dream? 


Details | Sonnet | |

Requiem

Released and slowly drifting to the earth,
the leaf departs her tree in mournful grace;
though both will live to see another birth,
none same will be returning in her place.
We meet as always in the space between
the branch's bud and parting leaf stem's end;
a tearful eye, a tugging force unseen
does will the laws reverse, gravity bend.
Enhanced though was the nearly naked tree
by springtime's bloom, her fallen trembling love - 
released to serve another destiny - 
in turn, will be the better than above.

Leaf falls to rest, and in her fading sigh,
she breathes to tree her final sad goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

THE RAIN by Anna Lo P

"As I watch the blue skies
 Suddenly turned into gray
 Darkness easily surrounds 
 Their clouds, covered in haze.

 The rain will fall again, I say
 A nature's moment I dismay
 Raindrops will soon touch the ground
 The sad feeling, again I'll be hound.

 Splattering rain, the sound that haunts
 Sweet and sad memories of the man
 Taunting me to remember once again
 The love once lost, never be back again

 Every drop of rain that falls, I pain
 Each drop it falls, my heart is in vain
 "Try to listen" to the rain, he once said
 'Tis like a last goodbye, could not hear I said. 

 The sound of the crying heart, I still hear
 The sound of a weeping soul, I can hear
 The silent tears that they weep,
 The silent scream that echos so deep.

 Listen to every drop of rain
 To it's agony, vain, pain, 
 Listen to the rain as it falls, maybe
 There is your love, every drop after all...xoxo


Details | Ballad | |

Silent House

The house stands mute, broken by years...
Windows stare through jagged glass.
Empty as the eyes of death.
Silent void...echoing joy..patient tears,
reach out in memory each time I pass
the gaping door which has no breath.
 
A rusted lamp-post leans toward Earth...
listening for approaching sound,
to light the darkness once more.
Quiet hush...resounding mirth,
touch my step upon the ground,
and beckon me in, to the shattered house.
 
Crushed boards once held dancing feet...
laughter clings to crumbled stones,
and tears strain the silent rooms.
Scattered remnants of life replete,
lie still as whitened desert bones,
and words spoken...here entombed.
 
I gaze upon torn and tattered walls...
Time pauses, and whispers soft to me
of life blossomed rich in moments gone.
Of a woman whose memory recalls
the beauty of love...and eternity...
mirrored in a rose upon the lawn.
 
House so sad, your youth abounds,
neath fallen grace, and buried sounds.
I hear your song in distant night,
and stand before your silent sight.
 


Details | Free verse | |

Train, Alone

I wail lonely
in your distances
as endless trestles travel I

Know

I was here I was
present
on your horizons,
present in your town

Come, ride with me
Come, keep me 
from obsolescence, keep me
alive

Without you
Within me
I am meaningless,
blind

For how can I see, and, yes,
Who can I show,

If  not you... if not you... if not you 


Details | Free verse | |

Tumbleweeds


Memories tumble through my mind, some, missing for a while.
I try to fill in the blanks. Others, I sweep into the corners.
You know, the ones that are easier forgotten.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.
I take snapshots of the cherished ones, giving them a home
before they blow away in the savage wind.
"Did I tell you my mom liked to dance?"
"Yes", I remember.
I hear the music, her long hair bouncing with each step.
She doesn't dance anymore.
Moments gone...memories fleeting.
"Did I tell you my dad played drums?"
"Yes", I remember. 
I hear rat-a-tat-tat in my head.
I used to sing at the top of my lungs while he played.
He never seemed to mind my shrill, little girl voice.
I miss him, I miss his drums. Music is not the same.
I close my eyes and another memory blows through spaces.
My brother is racing his bike down the street FAST.
He is about ten, all legs in his shorts.
"Where are you going?" I call after him, too late.
He is gone and I wonder if he was ever here.
Some do go astray I remind myself.
Missing memories...missing love.
"Wait, come back", I yell. I'm still here.
Ruminating, I ask myself if we ever know the ones we love.
No, not really. I remember.
Frantic, I reach for the tumbleweeds.
I reach for my two earthly fathers who are long gone...
I see them. Then, they blow away, missing again.
I chase them futilely. The savage wind still blows.
Across grains of desert sand, I will never know why.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
March 2, 2012
Second Place in Chris Aechtner's Let the Masks Fall Contest




Details | Narrative | |

Chinese Scrolls

Poems from old and yellowed
Chinese scrolls make me sad,
make me sad: stored in shiny,
lacquered boxes of perfumed teak,
they crumble when unrolled.
And the hands that must have written
Chinese thoughts upon the rolls:
little, leathern, patient hands,
painting poems -- stroke and stroke
and careful, delicate stroke --
stopping, meanwhile, to twirl
a waxed mustache --
for someone else, a foreigner,
who cannot understand, to read,
mull over, and be sad.
And this when Chinese thoughts
are gone, and tiny, trembling
Chinese hands are dust.


Details | Free verse | |

Shattered

Looking out a rainy window,
Seeing places that seem strange,
Makes you think of old and new, 
Shattered dreams, a glimpse of change,
All away and all distorted,
In the once so hopeful heart,
All beneath what you have planned,
If a plan is what you've got.
Many try to comprehend,
Why trouble just comes their way;
Sadly they find in the end
That they couldn't have a say
And they're wrong for thinking so
But when sadness flies to you,
There isn't much you can do... 

Is there?

Maybe lie to you and others,
That we are a happy kind,
Just that sometimes we are clouded
By the way our lives entwine.


Details | Limerick | |

The Broken Vase Of Love

Is never a crime so earn me awhole. 
For all whose thoughts were crack in noon,
And still do not think is right left being dumb.
Were in prenuptial undertaken blunder, When lifted'd imagined  what the world is of its own. Is it a wistful pan of several host? or A spiteful mine of volcanic husks.


Details | Narrative | |

AGE

I have worked with the elderly for many years,
Heard many happy stories and shed a few tears.
I keep in mind a story I was once told,
How it is like for the elderly to grow old.

Put on bottle cap glasses so you can’t see to well,
While I finish my story I must tell.
Place ear plugs in so that I must shout,
My words will be very hard to figure out. 

Now dear put some pebbles in your shoes,
So when you walk slow you have an excuse.
Some think that because I where diapers I'm a baby again,
And treat me like I can’t understand.

And when I'm sometimes blue,
Nurses patronize me saying I know what you’re going through.
Remember I once lived in a grand home,
And had a family of my own.

I took my youth for granted like we all do,
So you must understand why I sometimes get blue.
Nurses come into my room and don’t even knock,
Sometimes assuming I'm as deaf as a rock.

Sometimes they talk as if I'm not there,
Some just pretend that they care.
Some call me sweetie and dear,
Sometimes forgetting “ Yoo-hoo! I was born first here.”

So when I get snippy and snap at your heel,
You must understand how I must feel.
To once have control and lose my dignity,
Is not what I envisioned for me.

I am perpetually young at heart,
even if my face don't play the part
So next time you see me wheeling through,
To assume make an ass out of me and you


Details | Prose Poetry | |

a fair day

It was a fair day for silence.

The sun had risen up courtly, almost mechanically,
Like a marionette on the strings of a puppeteer.
With the sun came Heat, wrathful to have been woken at such an hour.
As if avenging its early rise, 
Heat caused oppression, 
Discomfort and confusion 
Upon the innocent day.

It was a fair day for exclusion.

Only one was oblivious to the relentless heat,
He sat there motionless, lifeless and corpse-like.
They would glance at him nonchalantly.
He was just a piece of the scenery, 
Always had been there, 
Always would be there, 
Invisible.

It was a fair day for neglect.

Some say once he had been aware,
But life had hollowed him out, 
Left him a shell, 
Unmoving, 
Unblinking.
The day progressed, the light dimmed, 
It was as if fate and destiny had led him to this moment.
If anyone had cared to look, they may have noticed a glint in his eye.
He liked the sunset.

It was a fair day for an end.

The sun slowly made its way back home.
Heat gradually left, bored with the sun’s absence.
Silence was once more.
The sun closed its eyes. 
The moon began its regime over the obeying night sky.

It was a fair day for sweet nothing.

He still sat there, 
But no one knew.
So was he still alive, 
If no one saw him die?


Details | Bio | |

I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes
And back home I am
Looking out those
Century old windows
My inner tears
Would burst a dam

I remember every crack 
In those walls,
Every floor board
Prone to creak
But the happiness
I had there,
Is something I can
now but seek...

Home of fifty years
Saw my tears and my joy
From infancy to adulthood
And the blessed life I'd had there
Since I was but a boy

A place where several
Family members had died
In the old fashioned way
And all those tears I cried...

Not in some remote hospital,
But where they wanted to be
And I'd suely love to die there,
If it was up to me..

But, it was my destiny
To come here, 
In this desolate place
Certainly I'm not that happy
But it's something I must face

I made a mistake,
I should have died there
Where I had lived so happily
And now, I barely care,
What becomes of me
My life is over
Save but a bit of love,
Still directed at me
And each day I wonder,
What do these people see in me?


Details | Free verse | |

Eyes

Her delicate silhouette still lingers in my eyes, 
closer than these arms can embrace; haunting me. 
I breathe her in within the lull of a zephyr, 
lilac and roses filling the air; forever staining my memory.
Life found her defenseless, silenced by a veil of darkness; 
faith clutched tight within her hand,
as esoteric dreams are shattered beneath the rages of a soulless hand.
Frail she emerged, soul hidden, draped in shades of gray.

Sweet serenity severed tragically; incarcerated reality. 
Her taunting whispers bleed my heart,
no peace for the buried thoughts inside;
for innocence was laid to rest before dying, 
earthbound, intimately weaving in and out through me.
No more saline tears to sate these eyes,
just an expressionless specter in human disguise.
She wore candy apple red the day she left; bright eyes that smiled.


Details | Free verse | |

Why do I bother ?

                             Why do I bother waking up
                            when everydays the same 
                              life has no purpose
                             while we are estranged
                              
                            Why do I bother going to sleep 
                            when all I have is nightmares
                                 
                             Why do I bother breathing 
                        when  I just end up gasping for air
                       
                              Why do I bother eating
                               when all I want is you
                              
                               Why do I bother bathing
                             When everything feels so dirty
                                   
                         Why do I bother talking
                       when I just feel like screaming

                              Why do I bother living 
                             When i feel like im dying
                              

                                By,Jessica Bowie
                        


Details | Rhyme | |

AFRICA

Plagued with an unimaginable measure of beauty
She sits somewhere between the Indian and the Atlantic
Her history boasts of nothing but debauched slavery
Having served leaders who were very autocratic
 
She boasts of a vast expanse of unexploited vegetation
An even greater magnitude of untapped mineral resources
Yet her people reside in abject deprivation
As they look beyond their motherland to external sources
 
Famine, drought and diseases are her nemesis
Her leaders never seem to be sensitive to her plight
Amassing wealth for themselves and families
Ignoring the very reason for their current might
 
Oh Africa my motherland
Bursting with glory and heavenly blessings
May the good Lord stretch forth His hand
To bless thee with leaders worthy of your consecrations


Details | I do not know? | |

Living today

Where are the secrets, the faith and the passion?
Money and business are now in the fashion.

There is no romance, there is no love,
there are no bird songs in the skies above.
There is no green grass, and forests and flowers,
only shriveling deserts and pale fading colors.

Cables and wires are strangling us tight,
smog hides the stars, you can't see them at night.
There is much science, but not many wisdom,
too much revolutions, but not enough freedom.

Wise man, and prophets and heroes are vanishing,
everything good is perished and banishing.
Dragons, elfs, fairies are facing extinction
even kids don't want to read that old fiction.

Undiscovered lands are no longer remaining
from adventures and brave feats everyone is abstaining.
There is no justice and no human rights,
no satisfaction, only body delights.

Compassion and virtue are not common today
should be greedy and shameless if you want to stay.
There is no hope and no joy, you can find only sadness
in these poor human souls, lost in the madness.

God stays in darkness, forgotten and blind,
He's no longer able to control human mind.
There isn't much left you now could believe,
only in dreams you can find some relief.


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Is Terrible----

The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.

                   
                   
                   
          Summer
Gratias


Details | Free verse | |

Did you not Notice?

Did you not notice I was slippin,
                       cause you didnt catch my fall.
                        Did you not notice I had fallin 
                             cause you didnt help me up...
                                 so I stayed there for awhile.
                                 Did you not notice I was drowning,
                                   cause you didnt offer me your hand....
                                 so I sank to the bottom.
                               Did you not notice  I was dying,
                             cause you didnt try to revive me.
                            Did you not notice I was Dead,
                         Cause you werent at my Funeral.
                       Did you not notice I was in Hell,
                    When i would haunt you with my soul caught on fire...
                                   and you didnt put out the flames.
                           ... And im just Wondering how did you not notice?
                                                

                        By.Jessica Bowie


Details | Blank verse | |

Love Song

Here’s what I’m thinking now 
at the end of the world: 

There are no atheists in foxholes— 
no theists in politics. 
If knowledge is power, 
and power corrupts, 
then why did I bother reading you, Cicero? 

Does it matter that I didn't’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

There’s a poetry reading tonight 
whence I’I'll chide other poets 
who don’t sit alone. 
I won’t bring up death 
but I might have to breathe, 
even into a mike 
and mouth lines to get a snap or a boo 
maybe even a wince or two. 

Just maybe I’I'll talk about love 
and how following your heart is like following a dog— 
it only leads to vittles and (female dogs). 
But how many times have I used that line 
since the story I wrote about you, 
a witty and sexy and fictional you? 
Most likely I’I'll read something tonight about you. 

I won’t recite it from memory 
because I don’t think about you that much anymore, 
not even when I search for my socks in your drawer 
or when I put on the scratchy sweaters you give me, 
horizontally striped to bring out my eyes? 

I don’t remember your eyes 
except they are blue. 
And I don’t remember you, 
not even when I smell cucumber and apple, 
not even when I sleep on my side of the bed 
or when you walk through the door 
happy to see me; 
even then I don’t remember you. 
Does it matter that I don’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

How about a few one-liners 
for the end of days?— 

Depression is self-awareness, 
which you’d know if you were; 
I need Ritalin to listen to you, 
Lithium to hug you, 
Viagra to feel you, 
and Valium to sleep. 

All you need 
is me standing there, waiting at home 
with turns of phrase and word plays 
telling you about why I hate Ayn Rand 
but want to buy as much as I can 
and how I love celebrity gossip 
and detest poetry slams 
and find rhyming trite 
except when I am. 

Hypocrites can still be right, 
which you do understand 
because you nod at my nonsense 
about fighting the man. 

But now, at the end of all things— 
I’m speechless and witless and pointlessly well-read, 
and you’re just sitting there, smiling 
asking me to pass the bread.


Details | Personification | |

a conversation with steven-his battle with aides

i have seen my death
wrapped around a maypole
waving four corners in the wind
hauntingly
playing 
peek-a-boo with my soul

i have seen my death
as i march onto the battlefield
aimed to kill
that which threatens my very existence
my right to stand
on the balcony of life
feast my gaze on the rising sun
interlaced with the aroma of morning dew
sit at the edge of a quiet stream
watch the sun slip slowly
behind the mountain peaks
the air dancing
with the fragrance of lilac

i have seen my death
viewed through the stethoscope
of the minds of learned men
that boast their knowledge
their talent
their skill
as i move away from sterile hands
with sterile anger
pushing away sterile needles
that have not the cure
only promises of next time
i want answers to this rage
this terror
that no man understands

i have seen my death
through the eyes of my loved ones
as they kiss away
my fear
their fear
my death
their death
i cannot enter 
into their quiet soft place
my space
is filled with shadows
as i watch them close the coffin
on their humanness
but not their souls

i have seen my death
and
i'm not ready to die


Details | Blank verse | |

Sword of Roses

What, then, is Love but a sword of roses
Which cleaves poor waiting hearts
And thusly drunk with the blood of saints
Exults in its own dissipation?

And mine, a soul it so jagged gashed,
A scarred and wilted husk
Which once had songs to Heaven sung
Yet now but gasps with the fetid breath of dying things...

Oh soft Night's tapestry:meadows, fields, 
The courtyards of the Moon!
Now but brittle corpses endraped in silken mask,
Their board and banquet but sullen Death
Mocking of Light, fair Hope, and fond Embrace...


Details | Rhyme | |

Travis

I was out at a bar,
no reason to think of war.
Thought I saw someone I knew,
the guy I saw looked like you.
"Did you hear the news?
A chopper went down & lost it's crew."
I thought of the war in Iraq,
more loved ones not coming back.
"Did you know that a local boy died?
His hometown's where your friends reside."
What came next caused a cold sweat,
that moment in time I'll never forget.
"Travis Fuller was his name."
I instantly felt nothing but pain.
I looked up at that familiar face,
I had to get out of that place!
It was not my friend who I'd found,
turning away I slammed my beer down.
I ever so quickly rushed outside,
in a parking lot I cried & cried,
panic hit me in the blink of an eye,
I wanted to run, I wanted to hide!
Trav, I can only imagine the fear in your heart,
falling to earth, knowing you were about to depart.
I went through my photos when I got home,
when I found the one I let out a moan.
You're at the prom with a great big smile,
I sat down & reminisced for a while;
meetings of the Civil Air Patrol,
I never knew the Marines was your goal.
I recalled rides home in Vinnie's car,
it suddenly seemed so bizarre.
My mind slipped into denial,
memories quickly compiled.
I looked at your picture & couldn't believe,                                                      
thoughts of you would now cause me to grieve.
I saw your eyes & exploded with raw emotion,
you couldn't be gone because of devotion!
I found myself again thinking of the past,
hoping your memories would always last.
"About face Fuller!" I once did yell,
but I never got to say farewell.
The day of your funeral came,
so many people forever changed.
As I stood in line I could smell the bouquets,
I signed the book and saw your pictures on display.
Over your casket the flag was draped,
slide shows of you on videotape.
I looked in and saw your face on the screen
I broke down in tears & held back a scream.
Your family was trying not to be weak
there was pain in every word they did speak.
The men by your casket standing on guard,
looked as if they were also scarred.
Their grief was for a brother lost overseas,
who fought as they did but paid the ultimate fee.
Trav, I hope you know that I will never forget,
I wish that I didn't have so many regrets!
I'll always remember the fun we had,
even the things we did that were bad!
There's a place deep inside no one can ever console,
Travis, I miss & love you, you're a part of my soul!







Details | Lyric | |

October

there is an intense 
ageless quality to an 
autumnal day in October 
that embraces the past, and all 
its wistful tenderness 
the present and its disturbing sameness 
and the future, with its unknown quantity 
of joy and sadness 


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea,

I dont know where i'm going anymore hard to tell who you are when the indiffrency has settled in cold, empty, barren will i ever find a way? Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I try to stay sane But i fell under the september rain A repuiem for the reality That i never wish to see Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I need a way to escape, Only if I could just fly away


Details | Rhyme | |

I Hear You In A Photograph

It's been a lifetime since I heard your voice
Most times I can't recall
Your Laughter and whispers became foreign to me
Behind my memories walls

Too numerous nights when your face haunts my sleep
That I struggle to hold to the last
Fighting to save what my minds eye has seen
A myriad of years in the past

Was it so long ago that you passed from our lives?
Laid down for your final sleep
It feels so close although far from my grasp
You have been the one treasure I keep

I've searched out your life and the people you've touched
The legacy you built over time
Trying to resurrect you in some practical ways
Weaving their memories with mine

For twenty five years I've stared at your picture
Recounting each day remaking each choice
If I search deep enough in those eyes long extinguished 
It nearly whispers a trace of your voice


Details | Tanka | |

Photographic Memory

All points meet at you~
the sky, the sun, the water.
A still photograph
holds my happiness in ink.
I pretend that you still smile.


Details | Imagism | |

dignity

across rooms gust strong winds
emptiness without formed cracks

shook narrow confines
from the darkness within

indeff,rent,rent songs
nostalalqiques dreams
attentive inhumane screams
desire to belong

to accept dignity
speak sweet
accept defeat and
smile throu tormented peace.


Details | Free verse | |

If I Forget

If I forget,
Remind me of your name
As it must have slipped away.

If I forget,
Show me a photo of my face
As it surely has changed.

If I forget,
Take my hand back to that place
For I've certainly lost my way.

If I forget,
Breathe a gentle breath in my ear
If will calm my fear and rekindle the flame.

If I forget,
Bring the heart straps
That held me to you like glue.

And if I forget,
Carry the memory of us
It is lost but a treasure on a raft on the waves...

TRS, 09/13/08


Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye

        
       Though I've begged and I've pleaded,
       Not wanted, but needed
       A little help, a little hope, 
       Not this endless, mindless choke
       Untraditional love at it's best
       And I fear I know the rest
       The butterflies long gone, the kisses so few
       This goodbye seems almost so long overdo
       Though it hurts, though I'm scared
       I'm missing what's so rare
       I'm really missing you
       Or the one that I knew
       We have lost and I can't try
       To finish making it all right
       
		

		
		
		
		
		
		
		
		


Details | Haiku | |

Once Upon a Dark Fog

Where the trees once stood,
A dark fog covers their grounds-
                    A path through lost lives.


Details | Free verse | |

Black and White

Wish it wasn't so cold around here
Wish I could stand up sometimes
Wish I had somewhere to go
Drowning myself to sleep with emo music

Wish you were near me
Wish I knew who you are
Wish I could see your eyes for a while
Dreaming in black and white every night

The sun goes down again
End of the act, see you idiots tommorrow
Hide in the darkness
Warm, comfy shelter
The day is gone again
Another time I can't be broken
I pull the strings here, in black and white
Curl up and cry for tonight

The sun goes down again
And you emerge from its ashes
Look at me now, in black and white
'cause colors hurt

Wish I could look at the sun
Without my eyes burning up
Wish you were here
Without your hands cutting mine

But I just sleep every night
Dreaming in black and white...


Details | I do not know? | |

Lamentations for Immunity

Is it that we are blind?
Cloistered, locked from our mind?
Is it the shadow of our light
That threw away the left of right?

Is it the gold of many?
The lust of the unpure?
Who forgot we were free?
Blame this sugar-coated lure

Gray and brown  and never red
This is where humanity's led
Is it unavoidable, denied from escape?
Is there a gate, a virgin landscape?

We are not blind, there is a sight
A concealed source of colored light
Under the layers of steel and gore
Quest for Immunity, lament of the core


Details | I do not know? | |

Hanging on a Rope

Empty and sad and twisted
Smiling and nice, patient
Hanging on a rope
I'm he and she, and condemned
And I'm locked, again the gap's deepened

Fake desires
Carved in plastic
So sick of it
Dig it into my skin
Wanna bleed my smiles off

Embrace me, backstab me
Until I can breathe no more
Under the shell, my heart is choking
Save it from life and death
Crush all the worthless rest

On an island in the storm
Like wounded angels, wings crippled
Blood and cold and thunder
Your hands around me, fire
Slowly dying together

Are you here?
Wrapped in plastic
Sick of it
So I'm smiling and nice, patient
Hanging on a rope


Details | Ballad | |

A SUBSTITUTE FOR THIS LONELINESS

Another charming woman is
sharing with me what I used
to share with you without guilt,
even without a sad feeling or thought:
to find a substitute for this loneliness...
for  that deep void you left inside!

The cell phone always rang
at the end of the evening;
and I was so thrilled
to hear you at the other end:
to listen to the sweet words that were
able to turn an uncaring man
into a gentler and kinder one...
and I learned how to care!

Oh,how I long to hear that voice again,
and like a dream that needed litttle dreaming:
you came knocking on my door at dawn,
and I let you in without hesitating...
so earger to touch you like nobody could;
so impatient to invent a magical world!   

Another night is coming to haunt me mercilessly
with the beautiful memories and secrets 
of two close hearts loving endessly;
what other choice do I have...if not look away,
and tell myself that you don't exist in my thoughts...
to find a substitute for this loneliness?
    


Details | I do not know? | |

The Truth

Alone I would sit and quietly watch from afar
the little girl whom nobody knew
who was constantly in awe of a twinkling star
and forever questioned whether the sky was black or blue.

Her childlike innocence bore an unoccupied charm
to which boys would flock to entertain
on the outside she appeared cool and calm
but inside she felt great disdain.

Her eyes glistened like pools of emotion
staring reminiscently; memories in her mind
trying hard to control the reflection
but the words echoed cruel to be kind.

One smile would clear the thundering sky
one laugh warm the coldest day
but her head sank low and she began to cry
the pain she felt, too much to say.

Making excuses she quietly departs
as the faces turn to stare
she goes in search for her once lost heart
like an antique the best are always rare.


Details | Free verse | |

Death Changes

Old Death is a scar,
an empty eye socket, a lost limb.  
It has been grieved and we leave it alone
most of the time except on long drives
or sleepless nights.

New Death is a police siren behind you,
a baby crying for you in the night
in a house on fire.

New Death is bright red.

Old Death is brown.  
We can pick it up and put it down.

New Death picks us up and 
puts us down when it wants to.

New Death is a mugger in an alley
on your way home.  
Leather jacket, whiskey breath,
fear smell, switch blade at your throat.
That's New Death.  
It mugs you and steals your life
for years or forever.

Old Death is a tight uniform you wore,
you try it on once in a while.
You were drafted in the Regiment of Pain.
It doesn't fit, you don't wear it 
but you will never be the same again.
You have your memories at that private war with Death.
You are a veteran now.
But the Private Pain mellows into General Acceptance
and the poignancy turns to peace
and all New Death will lose it's sting
with time and God's help forever.


Details | Verse | |

Love Is Unlike...

Love is unlike the game of chess, 
as time moves on it matters less, 
in absence, fonder grows the heart 
of someone else less far apart. 

The pressure fades upon the will, 
and like a blue remembered hill 
idealised in childhood ways 
is bare remembered nowadays. 

Emotions stray and gravitate 
to other souls when time grows late 
and vows once made with ease are broke, 
"I love you" with fresh glibness spoke. 

Is this the way it ends for us, 
no bang, no whimper, mess or fuss; 
just simple gasps, forgotten sighs 
and flecks of storm cloud in our eyes.


Details | I do not know? | |

Frozen Silent

In silence she travels and walks through the haze.
Abundantly thinking; she’s no longer amazed.
For the world has stood frozen; her hairs woven like thread.
The world has stood frozen… lifeless… and dead.
But still she will wonder and travel her path.
Time measured by distance.
Silence withers her wrath.
So silent the silence she desperately seeks;
So loud is the silence … she no longer speaks.


Details | Salaam | |

Yeh khaalipan


Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega

Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega

Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega


Details | Quatrain | |

Thumbelina

Once held with love, by hands so small-
You’d hardly know that they were mine;
Her hair, a matted yellow mess
That sticks strait up, from hands and time,

The dress, Aunt Rose knit with gnarled hands,
Still ties up proper in the back,
It hides her scars; so much undone
While keeping dignity in tact,

One of her fingers’ is too short
When I was small, I bit it off;
Her neck’s been stretched from need and love
Which now I hide with velvet cloth,

Her eyes, the same sky blue as hers-
A mother ripped from life and earth-
Who passed away, leaving her child
One blue-eyed doll and no self worth…

Many a year flew by in time-
An adult with kids of my own-
When our house burned, consuming all,
From photos to refuge of home,

There came from ashes, hope reborn-
A beauty with eyes of sky blue,
Covered in suet, fire-scarred but safe,
The only thing that made it through!

A miracle or mothers hand,
That saved her from the fire's embrace?
To place her safe with honor, down
Atop the snow to cool her face,

This doll may look a ragged mess
To those whose tears she hasn't dried,
But when I look in those blue eyes
I see a child’s love, survived…

My Thumbelina, dread locked doll
No other friend could e’er replace
Her love; I love her battle scars,
Where memory lives upon her face…





2nd place winner in Karen Neary's TRASH or TREASURE contest , 5/2008


Details | Senryu | |

Playground

Kids go down
The slide…they head toward the swings
TIME TO SCREAM!

Free time ends
Their parents want to go home
Frowns exchange 


Details | Haiku | |

The Internet: Return

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!


Details | ABC | |

A Shady Tree

I know its the summer time because of how naturally 
Your beauty compliments the caress of a summer breeze
As I watch the world from beneath a shady tree
I take in the delightful comfort of everything I see
But in the same breath I am holding up my hands
Lord will you please give me back the things I no longer have
They are even more a part of me now that they are gone 
As the sun falls below where the horizon is still holding on
Somewhere between the falling light and a star lit night
Is a dream that last forever and will never say goodbye
As the wind gently blows through the brush and shakes the leaves
It begins to hum a melody that I want to sing
At that very moment I smile for all the joy I have
Its so uplifting for me to see melancholy dance
Soon the morning sun will rise and capture my eyes
As I watch the hand of God paint a brand new sky
With every stroke of color I swallow all my pride
And I find a new place to dream of endless times
If I should ever get to the place I left my broken heart
Only then will I believe this brand new day will start
Again Im reminded of why my heart beats so restlessly
Only the speed of thought and my soul beneath this tree


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Sorry For Being So Cold

My words may feel so cold,
Yet this feeling of falling and 
Then trying to be so loving
Eventually misleads me to 
Feeling like she or myself 
Is gradually shoving my feelings 
Through an invisible door.

It's all so not worth 
Letting this sorrow corner me in,
My mind is wondering if I'm truly fine with
Having no one special in my own current life.

My reasons for trying to 
Move onwards from there
Were nothing but idealized dreams
Turning into unpleasant realities. 

Who knew that a few days 
After those euphoric moments
I would be realizing that 
The strings of my heart were pulled
By desires so unnecessary for healing 
My own inner strife.

My words may have been so cold,
But it's only because this sorrow I go through
Will always continue beyond tomorrow.

You don't deserve being 
My eternal object of depression,
Yet you are also even taking it 
All too simply to be the object
Of my true love and affection.

My feelings from loving you 
Were absolutely true,
But I now see I was so wrong 
In believing in my own naïve thoughts.
So fleeting was the beautiful 
Rendering of my soul,
Except that no one knew then 
That it was only a game of pretend.

Wanting my first kiss returned, 
Yet again I guess first can mean the worst,
So I guess I'll find someone 
Who will become my second best.
After telling you I can't love you anymore, 
I now feel as if I can finally rest.

My words were only so cold,
Because something in the depths of my heart
Was calling out to be heard.

In the end though I have released myself
From the bittersweet feelings I gained from 
My voice and feelings that once were forsaken.
I'm sorry for being so cold.


Details | Free verse | |

Philokalia (Love of Beauty)

Unforgettable sweet horizon like the sleeping woman's hips...
Tortuous destiny whose yellow sadness tips
With centuries of sacred silence ;

After I pass the sacred glass beads through
Since the pink dawn and the sweet dew;
After I live "Philokalia", blessing the Lord's name
With one thousand sad prayers,
With faith that can move the mountains,
With complete devotion and obedience,
Silent like a statue of long endurance,
Could I remember her again?

From eternity, for ever had been
Above the waters without border,
The light of that very beginning in no world
And no time, but this cloud and the first Word
Who changed the trembling no time's order,
So that the paradise still mirrors in her eyes green…

Beard like our bishop, you'll wear: 
Lost you'll be for this world, my friend…
But your secret mad hope still moves like a lizard
In front of the rocks with human face.
With "Philokalia", your dreams will ascend...

Maybe, from heaven will drop a tear:
With bitter taste of grass and leaves of any honey September;
And the dawn with scent of woman will rest in no time's amber. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Autumn Affect

There's something unspecific about the autumn nights
A certain shade of color that uplifts my inner child's eyes
Beside a cashmere moon Venus and Jupiter shine bright
Complimented by a sea of blinking infinite twilight
The scent of burning oak lingers in the air from home made fires
Reminiscent of a time when this man was just a child
Careless and so free to dream and any dream to live
Like feathers floating across a field carried by the wind
As a gentle breeze blows through the leaves shivering delightful gloom
Unlike flowers of springtime the disheveled autumn vibrance bloom
Leaves crackle beneath my feet along the skeleton tree path
Where I try to find my peace or a song to make me laugh
The air is so much crisper and also soothing when I breathe it in
Underneath a starry sky and brighter constellations of Heaven
Amidst the trail I pass a lovely couple holding hands
While their children run aside frolicking in a playful dance
An old man and his wife admire the view from a wooden bench 
With smiles on their face as if nostalgia is still their closest friend
Its these specific autumn affects that bring me sorrows and joy
Reminding me of all theses things Ive wanted as a man since I was a little boy 
Its times like these that I wish I wasn't always so alone
Because I would light an fire with my family and call it home


Details | Elegy | |

Where are you

You flourished and blurred
like a spark on wind

Gracefully and quickly like a frightened hind
in pursuit of light

You harvested through bushy meadows
taken by blight

In struggle with plight
had you lost your might

And gave out
although never you gave up.

Where are you?
For you must be still there.

For I still can feel you
somewhere in the air.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Social Norm

Drink the drink, and take the pills, lay on the medication.
But your soul's forever lost to them without persistent dedication.
There's things we've learned, and things we will, to decide us right from wrong.
But your ears are only open, now, to a techno-logic song.
Social norms have bound you tight, then cut you awf'ly deep.
And still your soul beneath the surface begs of you, relief.
You waded in their welcome waters, thought it nice and cool
But now I'm sure you've figured out you're lost in sorrows pool
So take it from who knows you best
Someone who has passed this test:

Before you drift out in the sea And the shore's no longer in your view, I promise that I'll bring you back And if I can't, I'll follow you. Before your legs and arms grow weak And you've passed your final tier, I promise that I'll hold your hand; I promise you I'll still be here. Before your lungs are filled with water And our souls are parted once again, I promise you that you're forgiven; I promise you I'm still your friend. Before you close your sunken eyes Inviting night to kill the day Know your bright was never slight And soon you'll see your way.


Details | Acrostic | |

Your Eyes

 (Dedicated to Folake)

Your eyes, woman
are like twilight rainbow
amorously bearing aloft passions of mine
toward androcytic ecstacy.
They tell of endless lights.

Night skies clarion the warmth of you
keep me balled-up till
i am tilted to your adorned essence.

May I call up words to adore you,
agglomerate them into a panoply of worshippers
unsandalled before you
like Moses at the burning bush.
 
And now you seem to fall asleep
but you tell me it's the heavy night
bidding toward a sunny dawn
wherein our love is lighted.

Slowly I let you fall asleep
impatient with the long night
waiting to gaze once more
into the eyes of my lovely love.

Then a lip is placed on yours
and you rouse up wide-eyed
smiling at my romantic move.
We enjoyed the night, cruising on.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Park -- Part One

Pigeons flutter in the park
eating refuse from the grass.
Noon comes; the hours pass.
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Silence reigns throughout the park.
A crumpled headline, a forgotten toy,
lifeless, do not hear a far-off bark.
In the park, not a single little boy.
Midnight comes; the hours go --
soon, the sky begins to glow...
morning breaks, and with it, sound.
In the park begins the morning round.
White skeletons of benches -- slats --
in all the wintry parks of Age
fill up in morning. Deserted flats,
each with the aspect of a cage,
become an unused, waiting gauge
that measures dull and wasted years --
floods of loneliness -- rivers of fears...
The weak and battered, pallid crowd
which, daily, parks ingest
speak in muted tones; but loud
is the message all suggest.
The clangor of the beaten Belles,
trampled in the slime of years,
entreats the mind to plug its ears;
yet, if it will, it hears...
memories, perhaps, keep active still
the shriveled and the loosened flaps
that are the mouths of all the Bills --
reduced to gray and ugly gaps...
Down the graveled pathways come
children bent on carefree play.
Belles, though silent, are not dumb,
nor will the Bills forego their say.
But warnings fall on ears too deaf;
around are eyes too blind to see.
And so the tots, too young for Death,
play on and on till time for tea.
Day after day after day
children come and children play.
Pigeons flutter in the park;
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Once more, deep silence claims the park.
Midnight hours come and go.
The sky again assumes a glow.
Wind stirs dead leaves to rustle.
Starts again the aimless bustle
of the battered, weak, and infirm-eyed:
those whom living failed -- who died
but still must play their signal role
of unloved, friendless, unhailed Old;
who gather daily in the park
to envy tots their vital spark --
the hope, the promise in their eyes --
before it fades, before it dies.
But tots at play -- the young, the bold --
must laugh and sing -- cannot be told
that youth's not long and Time is cold.
Time devours -- a ravenous beast --
and men are the courses at his feast.
Some he swallows in their prime,
 On some he waits too long a time:
 these rancid morsels, Time's midnight snack,
explore their memories. They hie them back
 to that old moment, deepest black, 
when they first dared to know -- and first said --
that Time's the master all men dread.
(Please read The Park -- Part Two, which is a continuation of
this poem...due to space limitations)


Details | Free verse | |

More Snippets

I. Bleeding -- a world without comfort -- lost without love -- no destination... silently walk without touching wounds... where is love? II. Frail fingers grope... sodden afternoons... winter fog... through gray eternity -- cold eyes, delicious mouth. Found love will laugh, desire returning. III. Making love, we deceived ourselves. Complicitors, we lied. Compliant pawns, we defied danger, practiced brilliant fabrication -- but truth was stranger. IV. Others know desire: ever changing years -- and lifetimes -- reaching towards the moon. Love, be my way.


Details | Villanelle | |

Colors in my Mind

my aging eyes have sadly become color blind though in my memories, rainbows frolic and play this mind will not forget what the eyes cannot find I miss rich skin colors, the beauty of mankind and the sparkle in a child's eyes, to see I pray my aging eyes have sadly become color blind hot sand between my toes and ocean waves remind the boldness of red and blue in my thoughts display this mind will not forget what the eyes cannot find from sunsets to flower blooms, God's brilliance designed in the warm breeze, petunias and daffodils sway my aging eyes have sadly become color blind colors in a Van Goth painting, boldly combined or the softly muted colors of a Monet this mind will not forget what the eyes cannot find dazzling emeralds, sapphires, and rubies once shined yesterdays beaming rainbows are now shades of gray my aging eyes have sadly become color blind this mind will not forget what the eyes cannot find By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, March 4, 2012 for Color Blindness contest (Olajide Adelana)


Details | Rhyme | |

Autumn Is For Lovers

The summer's almost over
The days wane shorter week by week
The hills have shed their clover
And, the sun his warm mystique.

Each month becomes less weary
The pain fades each passing day
The future seems less dreary
But, this awful yearning stays.

Music fills the silent void
Where your voice hung like heather
But of course, I must avoid
The songs we danced together.

My walks help ease the mourning
Like, leaving bad thoughts behind
But only in the early morning
Before the couples walk entwined.

I walk through most of the year
Through summer, winter, and spring
But never in autumn, I fear
My heart just can't take somethings!

I must never think of autumn
Not since our last adieu'
For, if I ever thought of autumn
It would break my heart in two!

For autumn is for lovers
And is also when we met
A time to enjoy another
And, not for love's regret.

Spring is past encroaching
The summer has gone, and then...
Winter is fast approaching
That dead season, my life begins.


                            Timothy I. Brumley



Details | Free verse | |

Thinking Of You

I remember happiness,
No more,
No less,
Only true love.

I imagined,
You beside me...

I remember your eyes,
I remember your lips,
I feel your love,
I know your life...


Details | Free verse | |

The path taken ...

The path taken ...
                           Authored by Chuck Keys


One day I'll go for a walk and forget to come home
and lose myself among the trees and the gnomes.

I'll be dressed in my walking shorts, shoes and socks
ready to face the unknown world and all of its locks

alone and free, seasoned with age beyond my years afloat
unbridled from people and places and ready to emote.

The path will go straight and sideways, straight and backways
and bend to the left to secret hide-a-ways.

I'll be dressed in my walking shorts, shoes and socks
ready to face the unknown world and all of its locks

Lose myself I will, on purpose with forethought and glee
because that is what makes me, me.


Details | Lyric | |

After the Party Ends

Got my crazies by my side
Drunk on vodka cyanide
Setting fire to the night
That’s the way we live the life

Before we go our separate ways
We’re gonna roar, we’re gonna rage
Never forget we were friends
Long after the party party party party ends

We’re gonna stay friends
Long after the party party party party ends

And I’ll be seeing you there
Fists pumping in the air
Gonna jump, we’re gonna swing
Gonna dance, we’re gonna sing

Before we go our separate ways
We’re gonna roar, we’re gonna rage
Never forget we were friends
Long after the party party party party ends
We’re gonna stay friends
Long after the party party party party ends

There’s a place where time stands still
Far from things that make me cry
And I would take you there tonight
So we could stay young all our lives

You’ve been my friend when I was down
I’ll miss you when you’re not around
And I will think of you
In all the good I’ve found
In every light, in every sound

And I’ll be seeing you there
Fists pumping in the air
Gonna jump, we’re gonna swing
Gonna dance, we’re gonna sing

Before we go our separate ways
We’re gonna roar, we’re gonna rage
Never forget we were friends
Long after the party party party party ends
We’re gonna stay friends
Long after the party party party party ends

Got my crazies by my side
Drunk on vodka cyanide
Setting fire to the night
That’s the way we live the life

Before we go our separate ways
We’re gonna roar, we’re gonna rage
Never forget we were friends
Long after the party party party party ends
We’re gonna stay friends
Long after the party party party party ends


Details | Lyric | |

Come

Come 
Come
Come
my hands are cold,
my feet are numb,
I’ve been waiting for you to come.

Listen to the rhythmic sound of the drum,
it is summoning you to come,
come and minster to my blazing soul,
and help me achieve my dancing goal.

Leap beyond the shadows of death,
and purge me with your mystical breath,
tear off my sleepless gown,
and cool me down with your powerful sound.

Follow the sound of the drums and come,
If you don’t come I will be undone,
thousands of them surround the gate,
come before it's too late.

Moan
groan
wiggle and scream,
entrance me in your solitary dreams.
pull out your dangling whistle
stretch my body,
breath upon my throbbing flesh,
and captivate me in your powerful net.

Release your knob and come,
shoot me with your inflated gun,
I have waited for this eternal bliss,
but something stands amiss.

©2013 Christine Phillips


Details | Light Poetry | |

When I grow old

I will grow old
I tremble in the cold
None to care
I have nothing to fear...

But my love is alive
Though I strive
Beautiful roses to pluck
Yet I am stuck..

I grow old with wrinkle
Yet I will kinker
You will always remain in my mind
This is how you will find...


Details | Rhyme | |

Fast Lane

Life got so real so fast
And I've forgotten a lot of my past
But was reminded tonight
Of the innocence and light 
I once had

Over the years too many fears
Met with too many tears
So I'm jaded, faded, and torn
With the fury of woman scorned

Everyday it's the same game
Russian roulette I play
One bullet in the chamber and spin
This ain't a way to live
It's dire straights

I hope I have the strength to open the gates
To freedom
Free to be a happy girl
Satisfied with her world
And who she see's in the mirror

Today it became a little clearer
Still don't know where I am
But I think I know where I'm going

Hold on
Hold on
Hold on
To this plan


Details | Tetractys | |

scattered shards

you left me all alone without a chance to pick up the scattered shards of my heart


Details | Free verse | |

SHADOWS

City lights Are growing dim As music in the hall Slows down. And, lovers . . . Holding close . . . Dance to rhythms Of swaying shadows On the wall. In the streets, I see the lonely ones Who stand in shadows tall And tremble . . . From the fear . . . Of empty rooms And, conversations Not returned.


Details | Free verse | |

Carrie at Cafe du Monde

Her voice was soft on the telephone
She had gentility, like the part of the city she once lived

We talked of tragedy and chicory coffee
My friends had told me the situation was still grim

I asked her of Galatoire's and Brennan's
Of the Ninth Ward, and of her home

While I, pining and homesick, sipped coffee the color
Of the mulatto Mississippi River. . .

So polite and patient she was
For one who had lost everything





Details | Senryu | |

SILHOUETTES in SUNSET of LIFE

To be young again.

                             Bit of a stretch, like my skin

                                                                          at sixty seven!




*For Sunset Silouettes contest


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Rhyme | |

the love we had seemed so far away

i look to stars and wishes flew through space never to be heard again
fun to friends hearts do meld and break facing until time ends
this loop that plays and beats that syncopate become but a gem
pleasure a chest opened in surprise feeling no need to defend
galaxies away lonely planets  please keep me in mind
 distance could grow something fond or lost between the lines
gps my love you can see  its still where I  left it behind
thoughts fade away with life love lives forever in my rhyme

Im sorry, I wanted more,with  all this space between
disconnected and I still look to that day
we talked on the phone, our separate homes
the love we had seemed so far away

without air i couldnt breathe squeezed until I'm passing by
no water flow my skin would dry and I return to the sky
sunny days would blacken out, attracting need for desperate lies
to make up for the beauty lost from death slowly closing my eyes
that fire once sparking motion snuffed in huffs slipping away
dwifting I sway shaky grounds where once I sat easily and stay
upon my feet I still float drowning out all thoughts that stray
Tho these ends can come swift its worse to miss and hear you say

Im sorry, I wanted more,with  all this space between
disconnected and I still look to that day
we talked on the phone, our separate homes
the love we had seemed so far away

down the road,flying free, I ride the wave and hope for your return
through several seas and cloudy peaks, storms of sand, I will not turn
helpless to fate and future events, nothing prevents something to learn
  sights may not sore, nothing much looking more, isn't my concern
I hope the best and happyness is true to bless you, not just in dreams
we can meet when we sleep discussing life while sleeping seems
thanks for trying Im not exactly dying, banes of  sentient beings
real enough moving on is rough, i'll love you forever, writting my means


Details | Rhyme | |

A Homeless Man's Christmas Wish

Christmas day is coming soon
I can hear the little drummer boys beat 
As I sleep under a stack of newspapers
At my home here on the street
I have no shade from the summer heat
No shelter from a spring storm
When autumn and winter roll around
I have no blanket to keep me warm
I have no one to talk to 
No doctor to keep me well
My life is like the seventh circle
Of an everlasting hell
I have no feast on Thanksgiving
On my birthday, I have no cake
Most nights as I sleep in my concrete bed
I pray and hope I won't wake
I think about the man I used to be
The one that died so long ago
Now all that's left is this scruffy, filthy creature
Who I don't even know
Now that Christmas is here again
I pray to the good Lord above
For a gift that most don't appreciate 
Filled with lots of happiness and love
I'm not talking about material things
I can get by without any of that
All I want is a house and a family
Complete with a dog and  a cat
I wish every single Christmas season
That my dear, sweet Lord would send me
A beautiful family with warm, smiling faces
Sipping hot chocolate around a Christmas tree
We would have a most amazing feast
A rack of lamb tied up with a bow
Then we would all get bundled up
And go caroling in the snow
Oh, how glorious that would be
To have a family and a few friends
To have people who love me
Even after this life ends
God please hear my prayers
And answer them if you can
Just grant one simple Christmas wish
To this old homeless man


Details | I do not know? | |

WE ARE INDEPENDENCE!

We are Tausug Nation
Defending independence
Free from the enemies
Stood not to get oppressed

Our Nation ruled
Of the country’s independence
Never conquered from then
We shall develop our land

Our country, nation is known
Home of courageous person
Bound only in one faith
Never care of the death

Tumantangis, Dahu peaks of our land
To Bagsak, Sinumaan
And to all the mountains here
Only one God is aimed

Zamboanga, Basilan, North Borneo, Palawan
Centre is in Sulu land
Ruled by the Sultan
From the early point of time

Our nation is united
In the name of faith is complete
Only God is firm
Determined not to get conquered

Land of the pearl garden
Sulu Sea in the world is famous
From the South and North
And East and West

Blood of Martyrs flowed in the vein of the Sug Nation
Fought to defend
Flag rose like Vinta strip
Eternal pledge appeared


Details | Lyric | |

TO PAPA -Through the eyes of his little girl

Through the eyes of this little girl, to her Papa, no one could compare
Always dashing in grey and navy suits with a white shrt and burgundy tie
How she'd stare in awe, wide-eyed; her little face turn upward in gaze
With a deep, stern voice he corrected, yet, with soft eyes, and warm hugs he consoled
The world demands so much from a man and sometimes he was not perfect
His bane was his good looks and a kind and honest heart
During his younger years he struggled, yet his love for his family stayed true
He was proud man in many ways and kept his promise to God and his wife
Througout the years of struggle, he never left his queen in thirty-five years

"Papa", one of God's creations by special design-fire and ice-compassionate and kind, 
Those who dared to cross him learned a lesson everytime
Through extraordinary battles, some won and others lost 
Each challenge imposed, he rose and met-a remarkable feat!

Then came one day, with his final battle raging, in some world beyond our eyes
His body racked and worn with pain, Papa was sent home to say good bye
My "Papa" stood tall one last time- and chose life with his Creator!


Details | Narrative | |

Dedication to Everyone

I feel that I have found a home in this cyberspace
with full of hearts and ideas in a special place
I wonder of all the people in the world to make me smile
with antics that help me grow in every mile
I do want to say to all of the people with respect
because of all of you my mind is not in a wreck
I would lie if I did not get ideas from all of you
without you my poems would not come true
I bless everyone with care 
with kindness and without dis-pare
I hold my hands high and put them together
with this I bless you with good weather
I do read some of the poems that people put out
sometimes I feel with out a doubt
I feel the pain in the poems that some has revealed
with hopes that they can read with their mind not sealed
I smile a bunch with every word
it is like a music in my head making a cord
I do want you all to know that you have made my day
to be a better day in every different array
I cherish my time with all the people in my heart
the words flow in my mind is just but a start
I'm happy with everyone in PoetrySoup.com 
with hardship that came this cyberspace makes me calm
I cannot choose five cause if I do I don't think it's right
just to tell you that is just my own insight
I thank all for helping me grow with all the poems that are shown
with faith and humor, with views of kindness this site has grown

If I had to say or dedicate my poems to who 
would be the first five who reads my poems with a point of view


Details | Rhyme | |

A Hole in the Universe

There’s a hole in the Universe
And I can see it from 
My 
Hearse

Driving to the graveyard 
For one final look

While the mourners 
Take photos
Filling an entire 
Facebook

There’s a hole in the Universe
And I can see it from
My 
Noose

Wrapped round my head
For one final jerk

Because I sent you 
Away
And it really
Hurts

But I won’t say a thing
Not a single peep
From a  man 
Made of stone
And the blood of a
Beast

Sing me one last melody
In that way you did
In a La La so sweet
La La La
La La La
My sweet

Sing me one last dirge
For the body 
You once held
In a La La so sweet
La La La
La La La
My sweet

You see

There’s a hole in the Universe
And I  can see it from
My
Place

Where the sky meets
The fire

Roasting hopes upon  
A pyre

And leaves me 

Wanting

One last
Touch

One last
Kiss 

One last
La La

So sweet

A taste of  perfect heaven

The complete Universe

I once found 

In

Your 

Baby Face.


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Free verse | |

Missing An Angel

I’m missing  so much one of my angels
who constantly guided me since birth
he used to talk to me in a long distance
his lovely voice was a real spirit booster

all the other angels have called me up
bringing me all  their wishes and love
but the other angel I’m missing now
I want even the silhouette of his voice

dear angel of mine, please  hear me cry
will you appear in my dreams tonight
I just want to tell you how I am
like I did with the rest of whom you love

I really miss to tell you a story
whenever  I am happy and lonely
and all the love and joys  around me
trying  all to keep my spirit healthy

but, there’s one thing I want to tell
please continue looking after me
keeping me in your ardent  prayer
and ask God to remove the bitter pill

I want to tell you that  I’m still fine
as long as I am still kicking and alive
All I need is a constant fortitude
In this temporary world  I don’t own

I’m missing you so much my angel
speak in a  dream of your sweet  girl
greet and make a loving wish for her
may she has a longer life in this world




Written: Oct. 4, 2012
Note: Another poem tribute to my dad (now in heaven) written before my birthday.


Details | Verse | |

Philosophical Poetry Week: Transient Tuesday

I am a misprint,
Ink blot on love,
I remain a maybe
Longing for fact,
No speck of lint,
A hand in glove.
Thunder; a baby
Will only react

When you etch
Parallel clouds,
Whistling on cue
To a dead town.
Dream a sketch
Of silent crowds
Becoming you,
This boiling crown

Chews thought
Into flagellation.
Holes in the walls
To spy through,
Seeking a sort
Of bricked-up sun.
A heaven of halls,
All leaving you.


Details | Tanka | |

tanka

by the old levee
summer's caressing breezes
off the mudriver
whisper so lachrymosely
southern painful centuries


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The color of love

Without him beside me, my future seems so bleak, being naïve, 
i was told he was not meant for me. Ignoring this world of cruelty
and its power tear our world apart. Now sitting i ponder why I being so naïve from the very start

My tomorrow will never come, for I will forever live in his yesterday. Turning my back on the one who loved me in every single way.
Not even time can heal a shattered heart, but I guess somewhere in his heart he loved me after all

Many times I’ve dreamt of him and unable to hide my tears,
As I reminisce that sad day I decide we go our separate ways,
I pinch myself, as in a dream, knowing it is not true,
How could I let go of such a man, no woman would ever do.

I remember the look in his eyes when he dropped by and found my note. Pain crippled on his face leaving such a heart in pain, as he read along “My heart is with you but I will forever be alone, never will you and I share a place of our own. Rejected by all to cross the color line thinking my love is blind".

 If again such a love should come my way, I’d break free of those dark days I’d confess my true heart and reject the rest and  break through this racial barrier and fallow my lovers path wherever he lead to ease this heart that beat to grieve.


Details | Ballad | |

Cassandra

Revelation Said In Stone Appeared an Eon ago of Shame and Sin, Something we all know But not it's rise, For is has already became Virtue Flaming Skies from an Angel So Bright The World's Cure for Soul-Blight A Hell on Earth A Savior's Worth So many Dreams are cast then Forgotten So many lives are brought up then just Thrown back down Maybe she is The Cure Maybe she is The Plan All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Release me and Burn away this land Hold me by The Hand Tell me the past is just pretend Give me The Cure If this is your destiny Then May it be mine I would die in time I'm Just another Obstacle In the way of your divine Wings Forget me Cassandra For Doom was already meant for me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Valkyrie of Heart Angel of Grace I surrender to You Savior by Destiny Dispel all Tragedy Especially me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim


Details | Free verse | |

The -C- Word, Tinged in Pink

Two sisters, they were, I remember well
Two halves of one heart, it seemed to me
Their story has faded along with their names

They lived next door where my childhood dwells
They shared a tiny bungalow
Neither were wed, although I know
One had been tempted, to leave the nest
But, fate, even love, could not let her go….

They were a pair, one fair and lean
The other plump, both meekly seen
Behind the blinds, but they were kind
Good neighbors, friends, when called to be
And trusted, by mother, to watch over me…

One sister, became grave, so white and pale
As days went by, more thin, more frail
Hushed whispering, behind closed doors 
What was that “C” word…hanging there?
My mother’s tears upon the news
From a word so feared, no one could use

Banish the unmentionable from tender ears
“Shush, shush, my dear…no need to know”
“It’s nothing you need to fret or care”

My nights were dark, and black with fear
What was the “C” that lingered near?

Pity for those who could not share
Two sisters, dear….I  loved them so
Where was the comfort that calmed their fears?
And wiped the tears, and gave them cheer?
Sisters, who kneeled to tend my wounds
Faced their own, alone….





-            -           -          -         -
(when cancer was an unmentionable word"


Details | Nonet | |

The Swallows Have Gone

Why linger here on the fringes, still
Hanging on for dear life, it seems
The scent of jasmine haunts, yet
No time for playing keeps
The swallows have gone
Wind chimes, they swing
Lights turned low
Moon guards
Me
~*~


Details | Lyric | |

I'd Do Anything: Our Bond of Friendship

I regret using you like a futile tool...
I'm feeling the remorse 
replaying over and over again..

I'd do anything...for you
I'd sacrifice my life...for you
I could hike Mount Everest...for you
I'd lift up your weeping spirits...for you
I'd walk on hot coals...for you
I'd do the impossible...for you
It's true...
I'm positively sure that 
I love you...
I'd give up my life...for you
You still don't have a clue,
Do you?

I'm glad you accepted my apology once more

I promise I won't break our bond of friendship

You make me feel perfect deep inside...
Trust me - I didn't mean to make you cry...
You make me feel at ease while we go along with the ride
You help me gain more strength 
You make me satisfied with your mirth 
You make my once broken, wingless spirit 
soar .                               .                      .                   .                                 .                    .
 .                     .                              .                                                           . 
                                     .                                        .                                      .                     .        .                         .                           .                                         .                                     .

I'd do anything...for you
I'd sacrifice my life...for you
I could hike Mount Everest...for you
I'd repair your dreams...for you
I'd walk on hot coals...for you
I'd do the impossible...for you
It's true...
I'm positively sure that 
I love you...
I'd give up my life...for you
You still don't have a clue,
Do you?

You make my spirit soar anew...


Details | Lanterne | |

Boats

Boats
Sail by
Leaving me
Waving goodbye
Off


Details | Rhyme | |

Internal Rhyme-MARCH'S ENDURING DREARINESS

March's enduring dreariness looms when no pigeon coos;
at April's doorstep, it still blows away an umbrella or hat...
letting the impatient spring know that he refuses to go!
There were certain days so mild and cheerful almost wild,
but none of them lasted as inescapable moments contested!
Close to midnight, tears falling on this soft pillow reflect moonlight;
and sighs turn into sobs...remembering delicate daffodils' buds
that were as feeble as those dreams I had dreamed as little!
And still March's enduring dreariness is far from pleasantness;
it won't grant my wish...while outside many voices rant,
but shut out from everything, I can't feel or hear anything!
Go to another place, dreary March...vanish in the haze!


Details | I do not know? | |

Anger Pain and Dramatic Stress

Anger, pain and dramatic stress 
The 3 things that I possess
Me, Reggie is okay at times
I sometimes choose to confide in my rhymes
I express my feelings through a pen
Just like some women get satisfaction through men.
This isn’t a poem because this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast, just too fast to be caught.
I hate being stressed
Just like I hate being possessed
I don’t mean to sound evil and mean
But I am different from the other people you have seen.
This is not a poem…this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast that they can’t be caught.
I have it good to some…others have it good to me
Some don’t realize how hard it is to be
A poet…it’s hard writin’ poetry with a lot of feeling
You feel forced to write something appealing
You break down cause cus’ you feel an obligation
To write good poetry that there breaks your concentration
I found a solution that my mind’s fighting
Maybe I should stop all the poetry and all the writing
These are fast ideas too fast to be caught
This isn’t a poem this is just a thought


Details | Free verse | |

We Were Drunk Once

Movies played but seldom watched
As we entangled on the couch
Intoxicated by each other, we drank wine to clear our heads
Things were simple in those times

You were red-eyed and freshly mangled
I wanted so badly to make you smile and forget her
For a time I think I succeeded 
We were blissful in our distraction
Playing grown up as we discovered each other

Long nights where sleeping was forsaken
We preferred to lie intertwined 
Talking 
Smiling
Laughing
The sun would rise and you would leave, reveling in how the hours had escaped us
Smiling at the pink tinged sky
Only to repeat the process nightly

Then we traded places
I am the red-eyed one, and another tries to help me forget you
Sometimes he succeeds
Perspective feels like a cruel joke
Could have
Would have
Should have

Someday he will have red eyes too
A cycle perpetuated


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Tired Of It All

I'm tired of the lies,
I'm tired of the deceit,
I'm tired of the rumors,
I'm tired of it all.

I'm tired of the pain,
I'm tired of all the heartaches,
I'm tired of the break-ups,
I'm tired of it all.

I'm tired of the hatred,
I'm tired of the sadness,
I'm tired of the anger,
I'm tired of it all.

I wish everything was perfect.
I wish everyone could get along.
I wish all the negative things in the world could be tossed away.
I wish, I wish, I wish...but this is reality, and here...NOTHING is perfect.


Details | I do not know? | |

I am...

I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter, hiding my depression
I am your sister, striving to make a great impression
I am your friend acting like I'm fine
I am a dreamer, wishing this life, wasn't mine
I am a girl who struggles with suicide
I am a teenager, pushing her tears aside







Side note: (Writing for other ladies out there, not so much myself, so don't worry about me)


Details | Rhyme | |

Buried love

He is sleeping in my bed unsuspecting,
As I sneak out the back door again.
I stalk across the dimly lit garden,
Stricken with guilt, remorse, heart-piercing pain.
 
Even during blissful moments in his arms,
Your face flickers in the reflection in his eyes.
I close mine only to see your face again,
In the blackness, dark as night skies.
 
How can I be happy with someone else,
When thoughts of you haunt me, asleep or awake?
How can I smile up at him,
When its your features I'm trying to remake?
 
Even though he makes me happy,
Its nothing compared to the joy you brought me.
I start the car and stare at the lucky charm,
Remembering when you said, my happiness it will guarantee.
 
I guess it never did work,
Because now I'm sitting in this empty car,
Wondering how things could have gone this wrong,
When we had promised stay together upon a solitary star.
 
I'm driving down the familiar road,
Wishing an accident would take away this pain.
Better a quick unfortunate incident,
Than a slow death, plagued by guilt, going a little insane.
 
Walking through the wrought iron gates,
I cant help remembering the many times I've sneaked out.
Each time I reach the graveled path,
If you're worth the trouble, I doubt.
 
But I cant help stalking out the house,
You've become my obsession, my pilgrimage.
Praying silently he never finds about you,
For I'm sure he'll have me put in a cage.
 
I feel the steady calm rising as I near you,
Your voice is in the wind, the rustle of the leaves.
I can hear my heart beat in my ears,
I move to your headstone among the other graves.
 
As usual I trace the engraved heart,
Let a few tears slip and lie down on your cover.
Wishing the block of marble between would disappear and so,
For the last time I could see my sunshine, my one true lover.
 
- Miliya Parveen


Details | Free verse | |

Color of a Man's Character

The Color of a Man’s Character
We all bleed
And cleave to 
Those we leave

We all smile when we are greeted
And cry when we are mistreated

Why do we choose to abuse others 
For the color of their skin?

Why do we think that only 
Our own color should win?

We’re all the same underneath 
We all deserve peace 
When we lay down to sleep

Love one another while you can
Show your son how to be gracious
The color of a man’s character 
Is how he treats his fellow Man.


Details | Free verse | |

Last Sonnet



Hither I stand, at crossroads,
And then I gaze, at the yonder end-
The vague horizon from where I began;
And all that I may ever deem
Is that- my days
Have been a waken dream.

Hither I stand, at the edge of my dream;
Then I wonder, at the depth of my trance-
An adventurous journey through the wondrous woods;
An idyllic stroll through the vicissitudinous meadow;
And from the final station as I depart,
All that I can ever say, is that
Perpetuation has been a rouge
Of fleeting phases of my life.


Suyash Saxena 
St. Stephen’s College.


Details | I do not know? | |

You Let Me Down

I waited every day

Hoping to see your face,

But I never saw it again.



You were supposed to

Be there for me, you were

Supposed to love me.



Momma, what did I

Do wrong? Why didn't

You love me anymore?



You left me with strangers,

Walked away from me

When I needed you to stay.



You let me down

In the worst possible way,

It hurt so much.



Even now my beating heart

Still breaks when I think

Back on those days.



Those days when I waited

To see your face just one

More time but never did.



Those days when I wished

You were her, hugging me,

Telling me she loved me.



But it's over now and I'm

Doing okay, I swear that

I will never be just like you.



You who chose her drugs

And alcohol over the one

Thing you should've chosen.



But it's too late for regrets,

And it's funny, after all this

Time, I can't seem to hate you...


Details | Free verse | |

The Day my Daughters Grow Up

Yesterday
I could see their births as if it was just
Yesterday
A time when all I knew was love 
Yesterday
I’d no thought for tomorrow, just the day
Yesterday
How they changed the world in every way
Yesterday

Little smiles
How they melted this man, their father’s heart
Little girls
How they instantly became a needed part
Little hands
That held tightly to the palm of mine
Little babies
How they’ll always be this man’s sunshine
Little girls

But when they grow up
 I’ll be so sad…
My world will then lose 
the babies I had…
I’ll have just the memories 
of their touch…
The day my daughters… 
grow up…

Maybe
They’ll never fall in love with any boy
Maybe
But, then they’ll never learn of all that joy
Maybe 
They’ll wait until they reach old forty two
Maybe
But, that’s a dream that won’t come true
Maybe

But when they grow up
 I’ll be so sad…
My world will then lose 
the babies we had…
I’ll have just the memories 
of their touch…
The day my daughters… 
grow up…

One day I will walk them down the aisle
They’ll look at me with that little girl smile
I’ll do everything to hold back the tears
Forced by the memories of all their years

The day my daughters… 
grow up…

One day
When I am old and they come to visit me
One day
I’ll still see them as kids, though with families
One day
Despite age, they’ll always be my little girls
One day
Is every day that I’m alive in this world
One day

The day my daughters… 
grow up…
Is the day, 
I’ll grow up…too


Details | Personification | |

Drawn in Harmony

The phrase "Music to my ears" has been injected toward the 
wrong part of my body, and most unpleasantly personified. 
There is a record player that I let skip and scratch on purpose, hearing 
colorful sound of life back when truth kept us both inside the lines. 
I thought order was helping me draw closer to you, while you began on the next 
page without me. The needle digs it's way into my ape-shaped forearm. 
I'm directed by the guitar string shaped veins 
that only play notes in the keys of D# E# A# F# and the sharp sounds pierce 
my perception to the point I can hardly hear your voice anymore. 

At times, listening to the same old sad song on repeat makes me think
that I am just an old soul getting repeatedly tossed around in God's 
big barrel of human paradox. "Lord what was I made for? Surely it wasn't 
to repeat the mistakes of my forefathers, because I'm certain I am the 
only one you molded with forearms so large, that the record got lost 
and forgot how to spin in circles. Music is all about art, and art all about 
perception. Perception has nothing to do with your eyesight, and 
you use your ears to envision the painting on a blank canvas before picking 
anything else up but sound waves. I drive myself crazy sometimes when 
I think that my inspiration is speeding away from me in the 
opposite lane, but I didn't even ask for directions. Mostly because I'm a man, 
a stubborn one at that, and I always think I know where I'm going. 
But this time, I swear I had gotten the map right. So I transformed my open 
hands into tight fists to make music burst out of my arms, and the needle went 
faster and faster until it broke off, and the high pitched vibration 
disintegrated the steel into my own blood. I blame myself for letting this 
be the first time to let myself draw some air into my body. A surgery of 
scalpels cutting into my physical, and an orchestral symphony of sutures, 
threading my life back together again. My blue blood turns crimson as it kisses the air. 
Why do we associate the color red with life and vibrancy, when it clearly shows that we are letting our own blood run down our arms? Why do so many women where red lipstick; the kind that sticks to your collar, screaming to your wife that you clearly sinned? 
Why do we see sin so clearly; transparent enough for others to correct us before we really we even grasp the desire to fix ourselves? AND WHY IN THE WORLD IS THIS MUSIC PLAYING SO LOUDLY NOW; when my needle broke off into my body a long time ago, and I can hardly hear you anymore.
Good thing my life's song still isn't completely written yet. Let's add a more positive climax to this. One drawn in harmony.


Details | Free verse | |

Photo Album

I keep an old photo album 
on my bottom shelf. 
I get it out every once in a while, 
just to sift the time away 

I keep a lot of pictures 
There inside that book. Some are old and a little 
Yellow now, but still somehow clear. 
Funny hair and clothes. Gigs and weddings, 
funerals and newspaper clips, 
just like time standing still 

Tonight I looked through it again, 
just knowing what I might find. 
Somehow I think my heart 
knew what it was looking for. 
by the time I got halfway through 

As I neared the end 
of this blue memory lane…I saw it again… 
the picture of you and me on our first night together. 
I remember your blue eyes, your beautiful smile…. 
I remembered you….in my heart 

You are, were, and always will be the love of my life, 
The memories came flooding back, 
too fast for words, and too strong to hold. 
I remember God smiling down on us 
As we shared our first night. 

Dear God-how I loved you 
(and still love you) so much 
But now it can’t be…when 
time and pain have driven us apart. 
How did it get this way? 

For minutes that seemed like years, 
I cried my tears on your picture 
And kissed your cheek on that page 
I was trying so hard to keep the pain away. 
But it came unrelenting… 

And I’m afraid there are 
many more tears to cry 
who knows when they’ll come 
My heart is forever yours, captured 
in a snapshot on page 24 

As I lay me down to sleep 
I pray the Lord keeps you safe 
May you feel loved tonight 
even though 
I’m very far away 

I’ll always keep your picture 
And your kiss inside my heart 
I just can’t bear to 
throw away the memory 
Of the love that we’ve lost 

Your picture is still inside 
That album on my shelf 
Sealed by tears, and prayers 
Memories too painful to hold on to, 
and too precious to let go


Details | Elegy | |

MONOLITH

monolith wrapped
with blackish aura
now old lion has
lost it's strength 
wiggles under the
iron gossamer
sometimes yelps
yawns and sighs 
waiting in labyrinth
for macabre end




For P.D'S contest


Details | Elegy | |

My Kashmir Burns (Part 1)

I picture Kashmir through lightened KL. News of another massacre darkens my eyes
Winds are thirsty there. They continue to taste the young blood.
I groom myself with exquisite things,
Sipping ice tea in ac room, I comfort myself
And Kashmir burns. Kashmir set ablaze

I can smell the warm blood of beaten corpse
Where from winds bought this smell. Somewhere Karbala reborn.
Mosques are being slammed
There windows stoned. And the black boots leave their footprints on Mimber
Even God judges on evidence
There is one Imaam left now; he hides her daughters in his shadow
A blunt knife in his hands; soon he will sacrifice them to keep their innocence
Kashmir is burning. Kashmir is bleeding
And I write.

Army jeep chases the tracks. To find the associated bodies
They are alive now. Soon they will be dead
From Patan to Sopor, And in narrow passages of nostalgic downtown
Ghosts of curfew
Haunt the houses for young souls.

From the Kupwara cantonments, search lights chase emptiness
Nothing is left now. Search lights can’t see inside the graves
A boy there went missing for two days. His father starts digging his grave.
I put my earphones on and I close my eyes. I sleep
While my Kashmir is ablaze
“It’s me poor farmer’s son. Kupwara’s charm, I feel no pain”.
I see him so alive in my dreams.
He chants songs of Mahjoor from his burnt lips. My hands shiver. He has no finger nails.
I see his smoke tanned skin. Same as that of Khayam’s barbeques
He stands at a distance from me. I can still smell kerosene
“Tell my mother to let her heart become cold. Her heart will not bear my state.
Tell my mother to let her eyes become blind. Her eyes will not withstand my sight.”
I follow him towards his tortured body. He tells me to follow the spilled blood.
His blood has made its own Jhelum. I row on it. Until it gets lost in black boots
The story will turn into legend. I find his body no more.

On the streets silence prevails. Nobody has permission to wail.
Sisters are beatifying coffins while brothers look for stones.
For bullets there will be stones
Kashmir is ablaze. She is wailing in grotesque tones.
In Lal Ded hospital a new born cries: Father register me at cantonment then take me out
Death is recruiting in dozens at a time.
Tomorrow is curfew. Death has no curfew pass.
How they want to identity you. Becomes your identity
People burn up all you identity cards.


Details | Free verse | |

asking

All the things you should know
All the swings you’ve taken on me
But haven’t noticed at all
And there goes the things you won’t know

Can’t you see all I got to tell you?
Can’t you tell just by the sound of my steps?
And as it seems you won’t notice at all
And I won’t tell you, not now, not tomorrow

Till you notice what have you done
How does that stomping on my dreams
Dragging all I know down
What I thought was concrete now is just flour on the floor.

So by now all I got to tell you
Is, ask me please
Just the right time, the right words and everything fine.
And it seems that here I’ll be for eons

With all this around me
And you don’t seem to care
You don’t care at all
With my broken past, and you can’t see it 

And there it goes my hope
Within this forest I don’t see a way out
And guarding what’s left it’s all I have.

And still you don’t care.

~Anna


Details | Free verse | |

Roses, Rubies, and Strawberries

Mi fantasma dulce

Send me a rose
This Valentine's Day
A single red

Reminds me of 
The  crimson light
We shared

Years ago

Mi fantasma dulce

Send me a ruby
This Valentine's Day
A single red

Reminds me of 
The sparkling passion
We shared

Years ago

Mi fantasma dulce

Send me a strawberry
This Valentine's Day
A single red

Reminds me of 
The earthen treats
We shared

Years ago

Mi fantasma dulce

Where did all those red years go?

Of

Roses
Rubies
And
Strawberries

Porque

Es día de San Valentín

 Y tú no estás

 Aquí


Details | Rhyme | |

No Return

Listen to the school bell
Ring 
Distant plaintive 
Wail

Beyond anything the mind can 
Comprehend

And return to a deserted field 
Where spirited girls and boys
Once played

Before 
Becoming mature
Women and men

When I hear the laughter
Childish screams
And ghostly
Cheers

I can feel a world at 
Peace
Overcoming my 
Fears

Of a future without 
Love
And the solitude I 
Chose

Of a future without
Birth
And the terminus
Imposed

Didn’t I hear a sprightly piano
Plinking through a 
Window
Near that faded
School yard?

Reminds me of you
Bright girly radiance
Dressed in 
Black 
Leotard

Dancing all the time 

We were carefree
Back then
Before the days of 
Wrinkled
Women
Defeated 
Silver
Men

Can I return to that time
With my old soccer ball?

Play with young spirits
Long passed away

Can I redo the errors 
Stamped upon my life?

Recapture 
Lost hopes 
Yesterday

That’s a sharp
School bell
Ring 

Distant plaintive wail

Beyond anything  the mind can 
Comprehend

But there’s no return 
To a deserted field 
Where spirited girls and boys
Once played

Before 
Becoming mature
Women and men

There’s no return to 
The beginning 

No return

When you’ve
Reached 
The
End


Details | Rhyme | |

Paper Thin

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
For kicks is why I do it now.
You tell me to love but I never knew how.
Our feet hitting pavement,
We spent the day in sunny California with sun kissed skin.
I’m learning to forget and how to fade scars,
And you let me let myself down so hard.

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
And now I just do it for smiles,
We’ll never see flower girls stumbling down aisles.
I’d lose my head just before that chance,
But if you want we can still have a first dance.
Cause I think I say things that I don’t mean,
Once upon a time you meant the world to me.

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
But I’m trying to refrain,
To make this not all end up in vain.
Maybe I can learn to love like some people do,
And you can learn to love yourself a little too.
Or it is in all fairness to let this go?
I guess we can try but then we’ll never know. 


Details | I do not know? | |

I still miss you

Visions stolen,
Heart beat raised
You still touch me,
In the castle in the air

I don’t want to miss you,
Truth is, I still do
The smile, those eyes,
I still miss you..

The path has forked
The world has split
Memories tainted,
I still miss you

I yearn for a rendezvous
To reminisce the cold touch
The twinkle, the chuckle,
I still miss you

Cries of laughter,
Strength of bond,
The waiting seconds,
I still miss you

Time does not reverse
The road unveils beautifully
But, some are unforgettable
And, I, still miss you…


Details | Free verse | |

My Mama

My Mama she trips out in the moon light
when I’m safely tucked up in bed
she dresses to wow her audience
but I know not of her occupation
when I ask I am greeted by silence
and then “You will understand when you grow up”

My Mama she returns at break of day
before the curtains begin to twitch or draw
she’ll come in exhausted and fix my breakfast
then checking in on me she’ll wake me for school
before she goes off to bed – she’ll see me later
to ask about my day and play

A Mamas kiss, a smile, a hug, warmth, food and a roof
Yet when we go out together people turn 
to talk to one another, quietly nodding
Funny looks are cast our way and yet not one shall speak to us
Aged nine in school I find out why 
when another child will laugh

“Ya Mama works the streets
lies on her back, watches the sky – to feed ya
-Tis what my Ma said”
It makes me cry
I love my Mama
but this shame hurts

I want to die…


Details | Lyric | |

The Moment of Atonement

My Dear World,
I owe you an apology;

Forgive me
for I have distorted thee:
lying passionately,
I failed to accept you
by chimera deceptional
I wanted to surmount you
believing myself
to be exceptional.

Forgive me My World
my bitterness,
narcissism
and selfishness;
for a fool I was
since the truth 
was consciously unknown to me
thus calamitious the discovery would be.

Please forgive me
all the souls my ambition eradicated,
all the feelings my sharp tongue destroyed,
all the emotions my cold heart repudiated,
for how much all those deeds I enjoyed.

I was then infected;
the infection seemed incurable
as I wanted it to be -
or wasn't I aware how diseased I was?

My Dear World,
I owe you an apology;

Forgive me
my blindness
to the beauty of life;

With myself in centre
I would not look around
for distorted was my perception
by a deceitful projection
of perfect me in faulty universe.



My Dear World,

Thank you
for
instant recovery of my senses,
the wisdom you blessed me with,
the pain myself was redefined through.

Yester year
I reached the deepest depth
slowly losing my pride -
my psyche was nearing death
in plight I could hardly abide -
I understood a mere human I am.

Now I laugh
enjoying my life
every day forsooth
heartily 
and with ruth.



Thank you
My Dear World
Please, forgive me.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Fourth Of July: A Lie 'or The Star Spangled Banner

We clad ourselves in colors as we march,
saluting independence through a foggy dream;
gazing at the night alight with flashes,
sparkles,
and firefly screams.

Rockets made in China, cascade/
to the backdrop of the Star Spangled Banner;
a flutter to the wind blown flags made in Brazil
and "I Love America Pins" upon our lapel;
(made in Mexico).

We stand on oceanfront (it’s owned by France)
gazing ‘pon the open sea,
the port is owned by Saudis/
but at least we stand here free.

Our hands steadfast upon our chest,
saluting whichever freedoms still remain,
those freedoms, their going fast;
and they’ll disappear one day.

We gaze into the abyss of night,
the twinkling tears that kiss our cheek,
immersing ourselves in awe of moment,
before it fades our dreams to sleep.

We stand enamored with this land,
the love that lurks within our hearts,
we celebrate this love/
...in part;

fore tomorrow, standing is banned.


Details | I do not know? | |

Senorita Sorrow ( Spanish Rain )

Any teardrops that I can borrow?
In those Spanish eyes of yours
In those big brown Spanish eyes
of yours
 
 
Senorita Sorrow
Can you run away with me tomorrow?
We can chase our dreams around
And make love
And start wars
In those Spanish eyes of yours
In those big brown Spanish eyes
of yours
 
You have never lived
It's very hard to explain
I got lost in Senorita Sorrow
somewhere in San Sebastian, Spain
somewhere in her Spanish eyes
somewhere in the Spanish rain
 
We had the time of our lives
But she cried there on the train
She couldn't hold back the pain
She knew there was no tomorrow
My Sweet Senorita Sorrow
As she stepped out into the 
Mid-September Spanish Rain





Details | Free verse | |

Onomatopoeia, Oddly Enough

When the moonlight's right, 
and the earthy smell of lavender 
lifts to meet a deep, evening breeze, 
and memories under long ago leaves, 
begin to fill the empty present 
with sensations of our first kiss, 
I have trouble moving an inch 
into my future. I miss its echoes. 


Details | Free verse | |

In Memories Of You

(A poem of immigration)

I gave my heart,
I gave my soul
oh valley green and true
doin’ the best I can,
but it seemed
not good enough for you.
I tried so hard,
so hard to please
the decision to leave
the outlook was bleak,
in dire straits
another life to seek.
I slipped away,
degrees in passing
on that epic journey
glanced at foreign lands,
to the end of the earth
paradise and golden sands.
Many years have passed by
it was the ultimate conclusion.
Yet!  Am I still a dreamer
maybe still a fool?
When my mind is heavy
in memories of you.

             © Harry J Horsman   


Details | Didactic | |

Second Thoughts

Why we always look away
From what our eyes desire to see?

Then we think
‘I should have…’

We look back
And we can’t see

It walked away -
We let it be

Why it always walks away
When we want to give a try?

We look back every day
And we pray for one last stand

Then we think back in regret
‘Why i hadn’t…’
Each time we cry

One day we will forget-
The day when we die


Details | Sonnet | |

Polaroid

No not the portrait when you were younger, my dear
Just a Polaroid snapshot at the beach that year
No earrings, no make-up, your hair was a mess
("So what? Got a problem? I couldn't care less!")
Brother-in-law behind you, muggin' like a fool
Our nephew beside him, tryin' to look cool
You had a little patch of sand on your chin
But oh, what a smile; what a wide, joyful grin!
Living that moment, on a rollicking high
Complete in the present, no when and no why

(Now you're tucked away safe in our own special place
So you'll always stay with me when I tremble and ache
Sometimes I unfold you when I miss you too much
Press you tight to my forehead and weep at your touch)

Tim Ryerson
For Gautami Phookan's 'The Poet III contest


Details | Rhyme | |

Your Rainbow

Everyday I chase your rainbow
Spanning all my years
Painting in color my sorrow
Magnifying all my tears.

You were the buttercup yellow of fun
The vibrant violet of argument
You were the orange laughing sun
The sharp red of excitement.

I paint my memories one by one
Every shade of green and pink and blue
Maybe when all is said and done
I'll remember you in a different hue.

For you chased the pure white light
To a place I could not follow
So every colorless night
I search for color in my sorrow.

But sorrow can only be monotone
How many shades of black?
Now I look at rainbows all alone
Wish so much that you were back.


Details | Free verse | |

A Tribute To Freddie Mercury

A Tribute To Freddie Mercury

What happened?
Why did God take you away?
Your music soothed so many
Brought others to tears
Yet everyone danced and sang with you
Following your fingers on the piano keys
You cast your spell over thousands
Your voice was a gift from the gods
You took the stage you were blessed
And you blessed us with your songs
We didn’t know that you were suffering
That you were dying
You kept your pain a secret so we would not worry
You knew we would mourn before your life was over
You knew we would cry and not hear your last songs
How we miss you since you left
Your band continues on
Playing the music that you made famous
It is not the same
You made the music everything that it was
You changed music from the day you sang your first note
No one will ever give what you gave
You gave you life for your fans
We knew it and we loved you for it
Your goodbye left a void that will never be filled
Four word and just for words say what we feel
They are strong words that you gave meaning to
We hear them when we see you on a video
They echo through our ears as we hear your song
God Save the Queen and God bless Freddie
He will always be royalty in our hearts


Details | Free verse | |

The Day Our World Changed

I lay in bed last night thinking of 
 everything and nothing, as I often do.
  For some reason or maybe for no reason,
    I thought of playing on my slip-and-slide 
     when I was a little girl.
In Florida, summer lasts from April until October.
We were always looking for ways to cool off.
That memory led to another and another. 
I remembered our neighborhood.
It came to life everyday with the sound of children's laughter.
Now, I often sit by my window hearing the silence of children 
indoors playing video games. Safe behind locked doors.
Occasionally, the birds come out to play 
or I hear a bull frog croak.
Squirrels run across our fence line searching for places to hide their treasures.
(The neighbor leaves out peanuts for them. The squirrels appreciate the gesture.)   
When I was a little girl, I caught grasshoppers and lizards, but not frogs. 
I didn't like frogs. 
I thought of my succession of childhood bicycles.
I felt free as I zigzagged through the street
riding with the wind in my hair and the sun on my face.
I haven't felt that free in a long time.
In those days, I never felt lonely.
I could always find a friend to share a secret with 
right outside my door.  
Our parents never thought they would send us outside to play
and never see us again. 
The neighborhood was our playground.
Until the day a young boy disappeared from a shopping mall
only ten miles from my childhood home. 
He was kidnapped, killed and decapitated.
I was eleven years old. Our world changed.  
On my playground, shadows lurked and everyone was a stranger. 
I cried when I saw the picture of the little boy 
with the baseball cap and toothless grin. 
My brother was the same age as that little boy. He had nightmares for a while.
I was eleven years old. Our world changed.   


By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
for Debbie Guzzi's Fear contest
Second place finish


Details | Rhyme | |

Experiencing Cloud Seven

You make me feel so complete	 
You brought me up to my feet	 
You make me experience cloud seven 	
You brought me to your heaven 

Your words implant seeds of growth
Your eyes, an undying oath
You quench me with serpentine poetry  
You gave in to gravity 

You melted my heart of ice 
I’m your living sacrifice 
You watched over me with glistening eyes  
Your warmth never screams goodbyes   


Details | Than-Bauk | |

A Memory

The gentle rain
Hides my pain as
Tears stain my face
In this place where
We'd chase long ago



Details | Blank verse | |

Sweet Longing

She comes everyday at dusk,
When the Sun's about to melt
Down in his aerie nest.
She comes and greets me
With flowers in her hands
And a smile on her pretty face...

She touches me with her warmth--
The blushing of her rosy cheek--
She talks her heart's deepest to me
And often laughs with joy...
I laugh with her--Cry with her,
Then try to wipe her tears:
I'm left with the longing to hold her hand,
When she kisses me goodbye,
And bidding farewell,
Walks away from the grave where I lie.....


Details | Free verse | |

Autumn Fog

Remember when it hovered there,
Skimming the brutal ground?
A translucent veil - Never blocking the sun, 
But softening its glow. 
It parted when we passed, 
Mist retreating to our little sides. 
We pretended we were spirits 
Lost in the places spirits go -
Wading through the heavens,
Worlds deep in tangled fantasy.
Until reality eroded our game, 
Melting the clouds away. 
But I was never sad - no, 
Never sad when it cleared,
For it revealed majestic Autumn -
Quietly perfect, much like you.
And every year I wade through fog,
Tears falling with the leaves,
And think of you.


Details | Free verse | |

death

Time fell fast 
Things became hard
Worries were vast
Lives begain scared

Hopes endlessly hidden
All things seemed forbidden
Days filled with darkness
Lives consumed and left sparkless

Awaiting the doom
Sitting only in gloom
Heaven wept
No souls were kept


Details | Narrative | |

Narrative Qualities

Chatter; chatter; nag; nag; shut up they cry; proclaim a truce; dug beneath the 
sandy cove. 

Dermatitis dramatics; ghouls forlorn; faces exuberant in detail; wistful; smiling; 
caving; longing; sunning; words without need; need without words; immaculate 
conception. She stood; Farrell watched; gracing the parapet with parenthesis 
and parochial intent; grin overlong; foreboding yet intuitively inviting. He stood; 
Ferrell watched; pour poor swine; marital bliss; marital kiss; marital law; sternly 
facing the couple; mouth aghast; shouting down the crowd. 

“Is there anyone here who finds fault with this union?”

Farrell held his own; run they say; heir to the throne; a testament of guilt; to be so 
overly apologetic regardless of circumstance is to be appalling; it’s unheard of; 
even throughout the salient circles of silent elect; neglect yourself. 

“Arthur your wife knew too well…”

Reminisce; reconvict the perennial cyst; they kissed; marital bliss; marital kiss; 
marital law. They stood; Ferrell watched; skulking the heads of unleaven bread; 
heathen and sheathing the sickles instead; Ferrell construed pastures anew; 
skipping the scene; sauntering down a back alley boardroom. 

Farce off the elbow. 


Details | Free verse | |

Flat Canvas

Flat canvas;

Bubbling brown ridges strike 
The confining dimensions in a hostile yawn: 
Upwards, Outwards.

Walk the world no longer, an ending beckons, 
A precipice builds moments where swallows wager wings 
On new seed: New breeds.
Falling buys the assurance of seconds
From a sinking well. 
Oh well.

Remember us when the globe begins to slip,
Bang drums for our pity:
Our crescendos mean less than meaningless.
And then, when spheres crack, continue 
On the whorl of a thumb, 
Stretching hope to nothing.
Run.


Details | I do not know? | |

Gold Star

Sometimes I sit and ponder
what it may be like
to have parents, not always 
looking for a petty fight
the love you feel, always
being there for you
day o' night

I wake up fighting a
constant battle,
I feel like I am in a circus
having to jump through hoops
my parents hold
to earn their admiration and 
approval

Earning their gold star
for the day
I was a rebel since day one
not trying to conform
dancing to the beat of a 
different drummer

Wishing to be accepted 
for who I want to be
and how I seek to spend my hours
nothing I ever do, seems to be good
enough

They talk about "emotional deposits"
i.e. spending time with them
but they spend too much time
picking and proving
reacting wrong, saying ignorant assumptions
they push me away, each day
'further and further I go
as soon as I make enough money
I'm gone

They act as if my artistic mind 
couldn't make money
like my dreams are distant relatives
of which I will never meet
but I strive to prove them wrong

Its bad enough being
one person versus the world
but when the army you fight
is led by your family, your blood
it's twice as hard to get up
in the morning, when the suns
rays dance on my closed
eyelids 

I try my best to be the kind
of person I want to be
despite their efforts to kill off
my individualistic soul
I have given up trying
to belong to which I 
was born unto
I'm simply playing the game

Hoping to win, one day
the chance to be myself
as I feel emulates me,
and regardless
have a proud
Mommy and Daddy
I do pray, I shall be
 free to be 
Heather Rose Marie


Details | Free verse | |

Flying High In The Aqua-Blue Sky

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I see a black and white checkered kite…
floating higher and higher than I, myself…
But, I was shoved 
Into another shelf…

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
2 birds were flying together in harmony… it made me smile 
If only…I could fly another mile…
If only…I could higher my smile…
If only…I could fly higher
If only…I could taste ecstasy…
people would accuse me as a liar
If I experienced the best day of my life…

But, I don’t wanna live with undying strife…
I want peace…
Hand it over, please…
Hand me the keys
So I could experience perpetual peace 

I took flight like those bird couples…
But, I was on an airplane…

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I wouldn’t be greedy for gain…
I’m trying to act sane…
But, I’m actually insane
In many ways…I love my uniqueness…
And my stubbornness… and my gladness…
And my madness… my imagination goes wild
But, I need to put it on a leash…so I could remain mild

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I’d feel the rain
Trickle down my hands…my wet, wrinkly hands

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
No one would understand
How awesome and wonderful I’ve felt that day…
Up there…
up there…I felt like a king…
But, now I lost that memory…I lost my ring
To success…but I’m willing to pick up my progress…
My pace…is slow like a snail’s pace
Do you see me crying? Just look at my face…

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I’m the clouds absorbing tears

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I’d be willing to release them…

but they’ve been stored up forever it seems
And…hell – I have been 
Shaking with fear…
Breaking by the seams 

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I was……..
Daydreaming again…
My mind was stuck on cloud 7…
Thank heavens
That I’m still alive – staring into space
Just look at my sopping face…

I see no grace…I see only a pathetic face
In the mirror…….

This little dream of mine
Was rather sublime
I was a sweet boy, 
but now I’m sour like lime


If I were a bird, 
I'd fly away from my problems...

I'll flutter away
Without a care in the world...

I want to be happy-go-lucky...
But, I'm bound to submit to my 

Misery.............................


Details | Quatrain | |

So Long

We said goodbye two years ago today -
I'll never forget the way I felt that day.
I couldn't breathe when the door closed between us
And your taillights dimmed as you drove away.

I never thought i'd breathe the same again,
As pain took away all my wind -
And i stood there deflated and broken
Refusing to accept the bitter end.

It happened on my best friend's wedding day.
I'll never understand why you did it that way -
I had visions of our wedding as I was standing there
But you ruined that for me and left my heart betrayed.

I never thought i'd get over it, not in a million years.
I cried what seemed a river's worh of tears.
I mourned for you like someone mourns the dead -
It was the realization of all my fears.

But once the salt left my wounds, I realized I was free,
Free from all the emotional torture you gave me.
Free from wondering where you were -
Free from the fragile little girl you made me be.

And I never looked back once you were gone.
I learned how hurt can make you strong,
I learned what a real man should be.
And with that, my old dear lover, so long.


Details | Lyric | |

For the Dying Orphan

I let you die for my name As you reached for my hands Out of waters of drowning What a hypocrite this writer is The Hatred of Solitude Letting an orphan dream Then destroy him with knowledge Of what you have done He opened up to you In new ways But in nostalgic guises The springwinds whisper blithe yore But the winterwinds, much stronger Caress you with the dreams of your funeral sky “It was you… it was your fault… Letting the one who was so open to you Be the laugh… the piece in the game…”


Details | Lyric | |

Living Nightmares

Vivid memories surround
As the darkness draws near
A weak, wounded man
Consumed by all fear

This man cannot breathe
His heart races on
This past he must face
Until the clock reaches dawn

The remorse and regret 
He never thought he'd feel
Is risen from these thoughts 
Cuts that won't heal

Drowning in his own sorrow
Has become a routine
For he cannot escape this nightmare
Because of tragedies unforeseen 

This hell he must endure
Until he finally awakens
To the bright light of day 
His soul completely shaken

These dreams he can no longer take
Tell the story of his being
This happens every night
There's no way to stop the bleeding


Details | Personification | |

Barnabas Collins




They visit me here though they think me dead They all think me a long time gone The mausoleum is quiet, with only a dark shadow Creeping upon its ancient walls, and thats of my own The heavy door seems to creek all of sudden I think Outside I hear the sounds of what seems like footsteps I open that very old secret door which leads to my rest And with a heavy heart consumed by this fire, I prepare for the kill But then, outside, there is no one, no one is there No one out there now to steal from me this time in here Outside now I catch only the furtive and dark shadows As I hear the lonesome cry of a howling wolf or hurting bird I dart quickly another look again to my ancestral and cold coffin My fateful resting place is one more time again safe No friend nor foe to release me to free me tonight from my woes And from all of my black and torturous betraying thoughts I, Barnabas Collins, I stand here in all this darkness alone As I close my weary eyes for another moment and rolling time Then again I hear the wind moaning and hear the wind weeping The dogs are howling and my wounded heart abates in the wind They're my only companions in my endless and perpectual sorrow. Dorian Petersen Potter aka ladydp2000 copyright@2010 July 22, 2010


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Rhyme | |

Flawless Wish

Written by D. W. Breidenthal 


You take my breath away

I wanna stay in this entrancing paradise
I want all of the negativity to fade away 
The darkness isn’t my property…I despise
Living a life that’s filled with misperception and disaster 

I would love to live in the ocean’s ecstasy 
That would be spectacular if we can abide in the sparkly sea

This eccentric dilemma makes your angelic features too unclear 
It chills me to the bone…
My heart pounds with hope and fear… when will peace draw near
This flawless wish remains unknown

The night’s approaching…seek shelter and light
Painstaking regrets – I can’t back away from gravity’s pull 
Hand me the rope and don’t bestow your burdens upon my soul 
Sift away the misfortune and allow me to put up with the fight
Help me fulfill my flawless wish
And I’ll strip away your anguish

You’re a burning candle
I raise my head up from the mud
I step forward with courage that I couldn’t handle 
On my own, but you stripped away the agony 
Watch us grow and sprout as one flower bud!

You took my heart to a wonderful place
I wanna desert this decaying body of mine and seek you in splendid light
You forgave me for my wrongs…you thrilled me with praise 
I wanna embrace the dawn’s incredible, appealing light...
Sweeping away the deploring night  

It soothes my sensitive heart…dismissing my vexing misery  

I have the urge to repaint the breathtaking memories I’ve spent with you
Will it scratch away the sorrow?
I have to search for shelter and burn away our calamity – slaying us with rue
 
Will my flawless wish store hope for tomorrow? 


Details | Rhyme | |

Self Made Demise

Is it really hard to understand 
I am just looking for a man
One that sees the world like me
Offers his heart humblely
I will cherish and protect 
Give back to him what I get
Hoping its not just me
Drifting in this lonely sea
Been floating out here for years and years
Fighting not to drown in my own tears
This ocean I find myself drifting in 
Was created from unintentional sin
My eyes cried this reflecting pool
Due to all the times I played the fool
Will I ever feel the ground again 
Or does a boat come pull me in
Save me from my self made demise
See the sun through cloudy skies
May the warmth come cure my pain 
Stop these eyes that pour like rain


Details | I do not know? | |

Sometimes

   
        Sometimes,
           when the laughter fades away
           I can hear time pass in the wind
           and drown in silent tears knowing that  
           that the masks we wear today
           are the smiles we can no longer make.


Details | I do not know? | |

Good Morning, Apocalypse Now : A Tribute to a Vietnam Veteran

Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)

My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he 
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast 
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now. 

Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier. 

Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet. 
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid. 

He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil, 
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.

When he speaks a calm 
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and 
bravery and how 
he continually fights against 
the "Apocalypse Now".


Details | Haiku | |

Hidden Tears

Concealed by raindrops,
lonely tears rolled down my cheeks
when you bade farewell.


Details | Chastushka | |

Chastushka with balalaika and nagaika

Sweet  horizon ,don`t lock , don`t taste the pale bitter moon !
I`ll whip my Fancy`s Fairy with your whip-nagaika:
Incense times of vanity unscrewing a camphor afternoon. ..
Let`s live together in poem,with  our balalaika !


Details | I do not know? | |

the backstage of a smiling face.

   Behind my smiling, gleaming face,	
   Lie depressions unspoken,
   Completely untold and unveiled.


   Behind the felicit mask,
   Stream tears of blood unstoppable.
   The result of pains, unbearable pains.
   And the leftover vague illustrations,
   Of the runaway happiness
   Which too…
   Are only spondant memories.


   Don’t judge a face 
   By the huge smile it stocks
   Because behind the curtains
   Swirl the fogs of grief…
   …Of unemerged, untold unhappiness
   This is the backstage of a smiling face,
   So looking “jolly” face.

                                                          
                                                      
                                                  FATIMA KHAN    


Details | Lyric | |

Complicated Love

My life is so complicated,
It feels as if I'm neither loved nor appreciated.
This feeling I have inside of me, 
it burns...

To imagine the touch of his soft skin against mine,
It's like I'm running back and forth through time,
'Cause it's never gonna happen again...

To hear his voice whispering in my ear,
It would be as if I'm reliving that one special year...

I'll never forget the words he said to me...

"I Love You, Baby"...

It makes me cry, even thinking of it now,
As if I'm gonna die and won't remember how...

The feelings I have for him will remain the same,
Even though it makes me feel stupid and insane...

I'd give my life for him,
I'd just lay it on the line, 

I'd give my life for him,
To let him know the heart that he'll always have is mine

Just to show him...how much I...care...


Details | Free verse | |

A Crystal that Darkens

Winter is also celibate.  The conscience is moving,
A frozen light in a frozen eye.  It's raining much looser,
Down a ripped tree.  I couldn't have, 
I couldn't have, in this sin-sick tenderness.
              ___

My face is cracked in my fawnlike fingers;
And the nose betrays an inner child, who
Wouldn't listen to sparrows about being catched.
I just insisted fur was wings.
              ___

The feminine chill on the palm must be sorrow;
When I think of church bells, or mother- 
That I am haunting as raw love.


Details | Lyric | |

Dard

"Badi Tassalli Se Toda Tha Tumne hamara Dil.
Hum Aaj Bhi Mohabbat Nahi Kar Paaye."


Details | Free verse | |

My cobain smile

I want to drown my urge to die
I want to kill my pulse inside
I can't breathe, I'm paranoid
Everything in life I avoid

Don't speak to me, I'll look away
Inside my eyes is just decay
 I'm already dead, but have yet to die
Why do I keep my body alive

My soul is dead, eyes are lies
So is the smile I hide behind
Pull the plug, I'm a fake
In a nightmare and I cannot wake

Drown me! I'm flooded in pain
Please help me regain
Some peace, some rest 
I want to die to live again

Set me free 
Slitting my wrists isn't working
The more stares I get
The more I become numb
I just need to be gone
Eliminate my pain, 
I'm already out of breath 
Suffocating on my hopelessness

Every day I am alive 
But I'm craving to die inside
Curved smile because your so naive
You think I'm happy 
Yet I'm being crushed
My head is overflowing 
With these thoughts that are too much

One word, suicide
Sparks a light inside of my eyes

I don't want to pretend to live
Let me go, flood me in sin
There is where I want to swim
Six feet under the ground

Don't be selfish 
And keep me in pain
To tourture my lifeless body again
Let my body float soundly
Rushing water, ocean salt
I promise I won't feel it at all.

End it, hold me under 
Then bury me so I can slumber
Goodbye lifeless eyes
As I'm dying I'll be coming alive
Haunting images 
Deleted from my mind
Laughing 
As I leave this world behind

Water 
Floods my lungs 
Death 
Leans in for a kiss

Together we sink into insanity
And drown in infinitys abyss. 


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Golden Fertility of the Harvest

He is the sinking of the final red orange sun of the glowing summer 
Warmth no longer oozing and seeping into the pores as I lie bare under the skies 
Jeweled dewdrops on the morning grass to dampen bare feet all softness under  
And the shimmer on the surface of the lakes like the diamonds in your eyes 

He is the golden cusp pf Autumn's Fertility 
The ritual dance of the scarecrow in the breezes 
(Straw coming loose and flying towards you, most certainly 
will brush up against you and tickle before he ceases)  
 
And this thinner less lumpy all seeing scarecrow  
Seems to be in no remorse: his knowing face will always grin  
And his arms will always be raised in a wave to show 
He will protect the yellow brown stalks that bend before him 
 
He is the crisp wind that caresses the crinkled foliage 
Their rustling like long flowing skirts on a 1940s ballroom floor 
These winds chill the fingers and toes and your face with the stinging red roses  
Yet when winter beckons the retreating light, we will be frozen at its core 

He is silent snowfalls and many winter moons  
And the brown earth beginning to expose itself  
The uncoiling of green and mud beginning to ooze  
And all new life breaking free from its fragile shell


Details | Haiku | |

Long Silence

Loneliness is here
The years have gone by quickly
The sun shines no more

Everywhere silence
Closed lips and I remain quiet
Pain shall end slowly


Details | Rhyme | |

A Lonely Tear

A Lonely Tear has no place to go
Must it hide in the Depths of Your Soul
Will it Ever Drip into the Memory of Life
For a Sibling, Mom, Dad, Husband,  or Wife

A Lonely Tear in an empty sea of Sorrow
Living on the wreath of it’s long forgotten Laurel
Love now rules the world,  a Lonely Tear just a Memory
Living in the uncoloured hue of ebonies’ Misery

YOUR Liege, with LOVE; ALWAYS and FOREVER…HG (Harry) 

                         To Be Continued


Details | Lyric | |

Sweet Seduction

[Verse 1]

My blood is ice inside your veins
Crawling underneath my skin
The price we pay to earn that name
The battle that we never win
Falling faster far below
Further into darkest depths
The kiss of death that you bestow
The poison that is on your…lips

[Chorus]

Sweet seduction
Drug addiction
Words that only he can mend
Sweet seduction
My affliction
Rise to only meet the end

[Verse 2-change]

Your thoughts they plant a grave in me
Like missiles shooting through the skies
The pain you watch but never see
Crystals falling from my eyes
Your words they feel like razor blades
Your touch like acid on the skin
Your love this agonizing pain
The battle that I’ll never…win

[Chorus]

[Breakthrough]
Swallowed up by
Sounds of screaming
Asking questions
Without meaning
Fall away…
FADE AWAY!!!!

[Chorus]
Sweet seduction
Drug addiction
Words that only he can mend
Your destruction
My affliction
Rise to only meet the end

The end…


Details | Haiku | |

Absence

Love sometimes remains 
Like a fierce pain in a limb
 Severed long ago



Published in the 2012 - Spring Issue of " Paper Wasp"- An Australian journal of Haiku.


Details | Free verse | |

School days

The busy hours at nine, running at the last minute. Those never ending classes now i miss them in every minute.. Give me back my school days is the only thing to say. Let me go to school for once, that's the only prayer i pray. The heap of lunch boxes and the rush for the recess break, give me back my school days is the only wish to make. Last night study and crying for buddy, i really miss them all teachers question and empty faces makes me laugh when i recall getting a star or a zero makes no difference right now, i wanna have my school days back please give it to me somehow...


Details | Free verse | |

Softly

I think I’m starting to realize 
How much I took for granted 
As time goes by, and heartache 
I hear your voice softly… 

I didn’t know how to love you 
All I know is that I wanted to 
Now that we’re apart 
The clock ticks on, softly… 

I wish getting over you 
Was easier than this 
Perhaps it’s because you 
Touched my heart softly… 

Parting is such sweet sorrow, 
When the pain comes too soon 
Loving smiles turn into something else 
As time passes none too softly… 

When the skies turn 
like gray, dust inside my mind 
and then the rain comes, 
dripping to the ground, softly… 

Now whenever I see a rose 
Or think of springtime breezes 
I see your eyes in my mind 
The tears fall softly… 


Details | Rhyme | |

Fine Line

What is your drug of choice,if one is had.Booze,weed or LSD,cocaine,speed or PCP!There are many that we do but this crap is not good for you.
Nothing to gain for scars I bare but drink and crap my underwear!
Snort a line,what can I do,keep snorting until my face turns blue!
Pop a lid and watch me fly and watch the wall melt while I fry!
Puff a blunt,I feel just fine until I lose all track of time!
One teaspoon of dust inside my wine and I go swimming with the swine!
Oxycoten is not for me when I have got the need for speed!
Now I bounce back off the wall because I hear a special call!
That call is called reality,it screams this will be the end of me!
What choice is there when life is hard and I am dealing my last card!
Get off my ass and out of bed and if I fail I end up dead!


Details | Free verse | |

Hate the Time When You Came

I keep thinking often:
How you gave me company
When I needed one most;
Friendship came, when you 
came,
There was bliss, fondness and 
joy--
It was light when you stood-
by--
I was happy--the world stood 
with me...

Then you changed...
I was baffled...
I didn't know how to react;
All this while when you 
ceased to speak with me
I tried to make my 
aquaintance
With the new you...

I never was disregarding--
Only needed you to 
understand
And wanted to understand 
only you...
The World hated me when I 
tried to do so:
I didn't realize,
When that for your 
consideration I worked,
I disregarded the world
And you disregarded me...

Not very long ago, times 
changed--
Some things changed again--
Somehow your hatred for me 
changed,
Though not of your own 
accord...
You had almost deserted me, 
but came back;
Once again, I don't know why 
I found hope...

But then, when I most 
needed you,
You left a second time,
Leaving me maimed--
My life ruined--
You left me changed,
And now I despise you....


Details | Free verse | |

remembrance

once in a little while from cloud-darkened brows burst the sunshine of your smile, warming my bones, rain-drenched as they are. spear my heart with slivers of your smile. charge me with the electrifying frankness of your eyes, and i will go down to the ends of the earth for you. when all else is gone into numbing, hollow sadness such as wrought by distance, indifference, or forgetting, only the trace of your smile remains, bringing warmth and light like a radiant morning, greeting a still-sleeping world and a bright new day.
(4/11/1986)


Details | Ballad | |

A Broken Fairytale

Once upon a time, 
Almost 6 years ago,
A boy met a girl
With his best friend in toe.
This boy and this girl
Became young love in its essence.
His best friend became what some would call
Her own personal hidden blessing.
His devotion for his friend
Couldn't quite bring him to confess,
But he cared about that girl enough,
To warn her of future distress.

After 3 long years,
Of the back and forth romance,
Their young love finally ended,
The girl was broken hearted and defenceless.
She had given her all
To someone who was only willing to take it.
The best friend tried to warn her,
But she couldn't see her lover fake it.

A year would pass,
Before the best friend would find,
His best friend's ex,
The one he longed to say was "mine".
A birthday of hers
Was his golden opportunity.
When he missed her night out,
He offered to take her to a movie.
She wrestled with the thought:
Do I open that door?
She kept pushing it off,
Until she couldn't avoid it anymore.
Neither one of them expected,
Or even could dream
Of all that would come
From one night, one movie.

A love affair of sorts,
Filled with constant ups and downs,
But despite their best efforts,
They couldn't help but stick around.
A year and 2 months
Of the greatest love that ever lived,
Was shared between these two,
Who were only just kids.
Neither one of them was ready,
They didn't know what to do,
They loved so deeply,
But this experience was so new.
A girl with a broken heart,
With no sense of true self worth,
Met a boy with a broken heart,
And the desire to move forth,
With her by his side,
Forever hand in hand,
Yet she felt she didn't deserve him,
And did what she could: she ran.

Now her love for him consumes her,
But his heart is in pieces.
Now he's too afraid of her
But his love he swears never ceases.
And she cries herself to sleep at night,
For the best friend she hurt foolishly.
And she prays for their future together,
The one he says can never be.


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | I do not know? | |

You and I



You and I.


You.

Your heart blazed,
with a warmth of spirit,

soothing,

alluring,

soaked in truth.



Your smile burned,
branding me permanently,

gentle,

tender,

enveloping my being.



Your love was complete,
from the depths of your soul,

unsaid,

yet fierce,

bathed in silent knowing.



Your dreams were poetic,
fluttering in the afternoon breeze,
infused with the distilled essence of rhyme.


I.

I squandered your generosity of spirit.

I vainly discarded your priceless poems.


Now I stand,

alone,

empty,

desolate,

wasting away,

rotting inside, day by day.




Details | Lyric | |

Tears of a Runaway

Tears of a Runaway

Blinded by these tears;
Choking on my useless words;
Heart racing like a horse;
Lungs gasping for air.

I long for that happiness
That I once felt.
Instead, painful memories
Are coming back to hurt me.

Running away
Sounded like a good solution,
Even though I may trip and fall.
I'll just keep on running, 'til I can't run at all.

I trip and completely fall down,
But I don't get up this time.
I’m just lying on the ground, now,
Crying ‘til I can’t cry anymore…tears.

Blinded by these tears;
Choking on my useless words;
Heart racing like a horse;
Lungs gasping for air.

I don’t know what to do now.
I’m just paralyzed on the ground;
Except that I’m also shaking
From all the crying that I’m doing.

Running away
Wish I could say
That I would stay.
But, God, just please help me?

The coldness is wrapping around me
Like it’s a frozen blanket.
Trapped in this cold, cold world
And in my mind, memories swirled.

Blinded by these tears;
Choking on my useless words;
Heart racing like a horse;
Lungs gasping for air.
As I lie here,
I wonder
What it would be like
If my life was happier.

I can’t really say for sure
What would be going on.
But if my life was happier,
I wouldn’t be singing this song.

I once felt that warmth and comfort,
But now it’s gone.
And it’s been so long
That everything in my life now is wrong.

I’m blinded by these tears;
Still choking on my useless words;
My heart still racing like a horse;
My lungs still gasping for air.

These are the tears of a...runaway


Details | Elegy | |

My Kashmir Burns (Part 2)

Another son is dead, until five he lived.
For his long life at Shah-Hamdan he had threads tied
“Shehij ninder yee nai. Gahas Kormakh Khudayas Hawale”, his mother cries.
No news can penetrate across the mountains. Satellites work here no more
My Kashmir burns. And no one knows.
An old woman with torn scarf sits besides fire. While feeding her neighbor’s child
She sighs. Is my son dead or alive? She silently cries.
In Madrasa I hear children reciting Quran. A girl’s come out dragging her feet.
I remember her from somewhere. I remember her seeing naked. 
Oh! God she is the one who was raped.

Nights have turned pitch black. My eyes are losing the habit of sight
Midnight soldier’s set another house ablaze. At least there is some sort of light.
Many letters have been written to God. Postcards posted of those raped girl’s 
But its curfew again. No post office deliver’s the message again.
Death comes from everywhere. Close your windows mother
For bullet respects no womb. It turned Gulistans into tombs.
From the plains the visitors come to visit their God’s
They are our only witnesses but hypocrites at heart.
They say paradise is kaasmir. While my Kashmir is ablaze
They testify against us. Is anybody witnessing this? No one at all
Be witness to at least this. Open up your eyes my Lord!

When paradise is painted with colors of hell, certainly divinity loses its grace
In the news the reporter is beaten. Bamboo sticks are hungry for human blood.
Let Kashmir go to hell. A new promise in their portfolio.
Threads have given up at Dastegeer’s place. Even they are horrified at our fate.
In Maisuma boys are dragged by police. They close their dreams, end their screams
In a police gypsy.
Men shape into monsters when they are given right to anarchy.
The gypsy drives them into the dark cantonments. They will remember this day
Interrogation officer comes. After celebrating his son’s birthday.
The winds from the cantonments bring their news
Burned tires around their necks. Burning stoves near their heads.
The knife tearing up their flesh.
And the boys cry, “We haven’t batted yet. Cricket. We know nothing”.

Death wants children to be headlines
Hunger has affected the heavens as well.
Graves are full. No more space left.
We need land of the plains. For our graves.
In the ac car the bureaucrat goes. The mother’s with search full eyes
Ask about their sons they lost. They drink their tears
And he sips champagne.


Details | Lyric | |

Lunar Love

Can this ever stop The world is blacked by the lunar love All the tides have gone undone The seas beckon us with their rage Will they ever calm The mist covers our sight The storm comes Her eyes are the color of dyed blue With her raven hair and crimson lips She sleeps quietly waiting for the innocence of me But I've already put her in vain And tossed her aside I've already condoned my belovéd The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love I cry but the sun cant hear Do I exist? This eclipse took over Now I'm left to face it all Left in the dark where can we go Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Fly away from the scene The tides are blind from the madness Even to the mountains they'll kiss The storm is too much The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The ghosts are tangled in my dreams They play with what was meant to be forgotten But I know there must be a away To find the closure But so lost are we So lost I've been Save yourself from the downfall How close are we to the edge This is what the rage has done This is what the sin has done The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game


Details | Free verse | |

somebody did me wrong

what is interesting
is that
i feel like 
all the others
that say...

"i know just how
you feel"...you know...
those recovered 
ones that are
o.k..now.

i want to tell them
that i am not o.k.
cannot they see i
can hardly 
open my eyes
but for the tears
that are streaming
down my face.???

oh, my darling
i see you everywhere
that you aren't;
but even more painfully
i see you
where you are.


Details | Lyric | |

Dream Liberty -- Butterfly Effect

Butterflies quietly fluttering In my soul Transforming my life Morphing into something so unreal So Different, silently beautiful So hidden and lost A fire dances on my pale iced face Lively prancing as each sheds more light The embers glow in your singed shadow Was this eternity meant to last forever? I couldn't believe that a simple flap of butterfly wings could cause such a storm, a storm in my mind The simplest things causing the greatest of pains Why cant I be one of them Forever and free I'll be with my dream of liberty Punishing the dead Can you never let anything go Is it all to hard to see That your bias takes you on a blinded delusion Where all they plunder is hate Terror is a virtue When becoming a king So cut off the strings of my life With your power And you will see the strength of the dream of Liberty I couldn't believe that a simple flap of butterfly wings could cause such a storm, a storm in my mind The simplest things causing the greatest of pains Why cant I be one of them Forever and free I'll be with my dream of liberty I couldn't believe that a simple flap of butterfly wings could cause such a storm, a storm in my mind The simplest things causing the greatest of pains Why cant I be one of them Forever and free I'll be with my dream of liberty


Details | Free verse | |

Screaming through bloody teeth

                                          I am livid I am enraged
                                    I am crying but no one can see
                             and this world just laughs at my agony
                           I am screaming so load ,that my throat laserates
                                 and my words are bleeding out through red teeth 
                                           words so sore and angry 
                                         they reveal damage and pain
                                        But no one seems to hear me
                                       I  thought my statments clear                     
                           appently they havent existed to anyone but me
                             Noone seems to listen and im here alone
                                  the lights are on but all feels dark
                                      I am here but I feel im fading
                                My existence is shaded off in a corner
                                             I am just a shadow
                                             Just a hollow shell
                                        aperently not a person anymore
                                     Im screaming through bloody teeth
                                   hoping someday someone will hear me
                                     
                       


Details | Blank verse | |

Wilted Rose

It was something beautiful,
 like a quickly budding rose.
 We found it among the thorns,
 struggling to reach the sunlight.
 We gave the flower so much care
 with soil and shade and gentleness.
 We watered the flower, so happily,
 almost too happily, too enthusiastic.
 We were a whirlwind, destructive
 despite all our best intentions.
 I think that the flower drowned.
 We just used too much water,
 and the flower quickly faded.
 We killed it.
 We, together, now have no purpose.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Emotional Hole

I did not find myself to be so important
So I ask my friends do I seem distant?
When I ask the question I had received an answer, Yes
So I think that made it clear that I had been not the best
I am a friend of a friend that talks so many things
That friend talks to much it is insane and insanity it brings
I do care, about my friends they are all good people
They tend to stand on their high steeple 
Today I find myself not so aware
Disbanding my fear of regret and care
Walking many different paths I see that I have found holes
It is the path that people choose to use to fuel their rage with coals
Coals are partially burnt wood or fossils a piece of fuel
It is the source of burden and fire a rage of emotions that stands cruel
It can be warm and caring, but it also can be baring
I just start to feel so low, below the ground I keep on staring
I reach for my friends so many times I feel so ignorant at times
Just once I feel I should not rely on them when feeling I can not find 
I dig my hole deeper and I can not climb out
For some reason I am just full of doubt
I care about so many things and what I have is confusion
One person should be all I should think about to get out of that illusion
My battle in my heart and mind is not at all so pleasant
I feel so alone in an island that is shaped like a crescent
My emotions is like coinciding with a diameter of the semicircle
Not a full emotion that is complete like a circle
My feelings is circular full of incomplete thoughts, so much deeper
I feel it will wake up my evil half a evil soul that is a sleeper
What question should I ask myself? to believe that I am not so alone
As I feel like a person who is deteriorating to the bone
I ask my friends the same question once again
I figure I should do it, to know what kind of feelings I should end
So many thoughts that come out of my feeling
I feel like my friends take, an emotional trauma of stealing
They ask me questions and I answer theirs
But when I need mine answered I feel burning inside like a flare
Are they even friends when they do not take me serious in anyway
Just put me in my hole cause I feel nothing in their will be getting in my way
It's just so simple to answer someones problem
I answer friends with beauty of a rose, but when they answer mine I get the stem
I know the stem is very important in life, with out it how can a rose be a rose
With a hole to put the root and stem in how can it grow
The words we speak I guess is like all natural things we reap and sow


Details | Couplet | |

Peter Pan Envy

Peter Pan Envy 

I envy Peter Pan
He never get’s old as a man

He can fly back and forth to never-never land
To his lost boys a merry band

If I had Tinkerbelle’s fairy dust and could fly
I would go up and up into the sky

I would fly up to my wife who’s in heaven
And take her back to nineteen fifty-seven 

The fifties were a great time in life
It was when I met my future wife  


Details | I do not know? | |

HOME OF TYRANNY

Blood of martyrs dried in the plains
Died in the Valley Mountains
Fighting for independence

Injustices felt when migration arise
In the island of pearls
And in the land of promise

People were put in chaos
When their land grabbed out of laws
Immigrants view as dominant foes

Once an oasis of freedom
Is now a doom of ignorance?
When tyranny became lord of the land

People were driven out of their post
Were given just pinch of hope
To live life in woe forth

Oh the never ending story
Of the endless tyranny
Please leave this home happy!

This poem is dedicated to the people of Sulu and Mindanao
Kg. Bahagia, Sandakan, Sabah, Malaysia
5:35- 6:35 pm, November 13. 07, Tuesday


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me From Desperation

It's been so long since I could Feel you, Hold You I'm wondering if it was Just an Illusion For love For me could Not be real Nobody could Love over The Borderline, not even I So if you ask you'll know why I silently began to cry I need you here, to hold me I'm so scared without You I just want to Sleep forever Never stray away far Save me From Desperation Never Say It wasn't meant to be I can't take this lie You Kill me With this So much I hurt so much inside these words burn as I cry This life is destroyed without you The joy that comes is the Joy of the Empty The despair I'm prone to maynever wilt I way You could have been there You could have saved me but no you left I was here to stay In the Dark When the razor called me back You could have been my light throughout the eternal black My Soul Has yearned for but where are you Please come back to me I desire just a one word of comfort just from you, only from you Tell me this is just a Lie Just a Hallucination from my Mind I'm suffering I'm Dying I Need you I'm begging just for one word please save me from Desperation I'm the Petal You're the Wind Without You I can never go Far You're not here I'm now stranded alone In the plagued island of my mind only if you were here only If you here You could have Saved Me From Desperation


Details | Ballad | |

Ballad

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away— I met the person whom I shall love. It was summer season—in the month of May, when I found my dearest dove— my life; my beloved; my prized; my cherished with no name. In that land far, far away, surrounded by the seas, by the name of Puerto Prinsesa, we tasted the sweet scent of its breeze— I and my cherished with no name— as little seraphs of heaven sang in bliss. Stealing glances, that’s all we had in that land far, far away; and also in stealing glances, our tale has ended, as we witnessed ourselves falling away. The sun never rises without bringing me trances of my cherished with no name; the wind always whistles but I never had the chance to hear the voice of my cherished with no name; and so, my heart desires of revisiting our land far, far away— to bring me back to the scenes, to bring me back to my once upon a time that my yearning heart once has seen.
Author's Note: Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's Annabel Lee


Details | Narrative | |

To the Siren of the faraway seas

I once thought to have the world within my grasp, that all I needed I already had.
I once thought to be unable to feel more happier than I was while you were around.
Only way to make it better, was to change our worlds of ones and zeroes to contact of the flesh itself.

Even though I realized it, I choose to deny it. I was sorely mistaken about you and I, and this and that.
You smiled when you lied about your feelings.
"I cannot give to you more than this" you said with an evil smirk while observing me from afar.
The smirk, was it real or imaginated?
I do not know, and I fear I will never know, my mind play tricks on me once and again.
Misleading me to believe, like it allowed me to believe in your words.

Words... Amazing how powerful it can be, use it well and one can find pleasure, use it well, and one can find the demise of the soul.
leaving an empty husk behind, like you left me. An empty husk longing to be filled, once again, with the colors of joy.

Coming from the other side of the world, I felt your words and disdain like piercing cold knives straight to my heart, once warm, now cold, since you left.
And following your words you went away to never come back.
Along with you, went away also the joy and happiness I dared to thought to be eternal, a sweet lie I was telling myself...

Even today, after so long, I still think about you and I, your mesmerizing gaze that made me forget and float, your enchanting laughter and the warm and soft touch I told myself that you had.
Touch that I will never feel, laughter I will never hear, again, and eyes that I will never meet, again.
When you left, I was torn, between love and hatred. Now the hatred is gone and the love morphed to friendship, which I would like to share with you.

The Mauritius girl, will my words reach you?
I guess they will not, but I like to hope, to dream.
Hopes and dreams, the accessories of the weak...
A weak being, that I am, a being to be filled with fake bliss, five by day.
Three by the sunrise and  two when the diamonds imbue the skies.
As like that, the curtains shall rise and fall before my eyes, at each passing empty day.

And so I live on, even if that means to not have you anyway I can... The only way I can...
For now, I just wonder, if will I ever find it again while I live? The joy and wonder, I mean.
I ask this chair, I ask the other me on the looking glass and I ask my shadow.
I guess these are the only companionships I will ever have until I meet my final doom.
My shadow, my other broken me and this chair and my memories, of you and I...


Details | Rhyme | |

A Promise

Nostalgia filled my soul, looking at the view
Distant seemed the past, oh the present too 
I see bridges occupied by few, yet what is apparent 
Dams blocking the clarity, although transparent 
Nostalgia filled my soul, looking back in time 
Warrior seeking light amid all the grime 
Let’s build a bridge, what a soothing joy!
Doubt and fear let’s destroy! 
Yet silence was the reward 
By choice it was poured 
A sign of comfort, often I wondered 
A sign of distance, in my head it thundered
Could it be, I don’t know you,
What I know is what I ought to?! 
I ponder for a while, then I choose to ignore
True friendship & honesty you swore
if I doubt my heart will be sore
How can I question …you are my soul mate 
If I do, our pure, true bond I desecrate
A bond indelible in our palm, on the line of fate
Forgive me my love, 
A burden I once said, distance what I dread
Still, our best talks were with words unsaid 
Nostalgia filled my soul; yet comfort what I feel
Happiness and health for you I pray as I kneel
Whether in my arms, here or miles apart
With all my heart, this I impart...


Details | Free verse | |

While you say good night

You live the night,
While I live the day,
You sing the birds to sleep,
While I awake them from there deep sleep…

You say good evening,
While I say good day,
You make a wish on shooting star,
While I only wish that your dream will go far…

I say good morning,
While you say good night…
I live in the light,
While you say good night…


Details | Haiku | |

silhouette

evening silhouettes
the softness of trees
a lingering sunset
farewell
lovely day


Details | I do not know? | |

Chapters

Our lives are like stories 
Like the ones found in books
We all play our part in the plot
But you were a bit more than just a character
Babe, you were a chapter

Chapters begin and end so quickly
So fleeting, like the way we would flirt
A heart-pounding beginning with a dry, cold close

I'm saying good bye 
This is for every time I could have cried
This is for every night that you forgot I exist
But I haven't shed a tear on you and, boy, I'm not gonna try
This is for every single mean thing you say
This is me deciding not to pretend I'm looking the other way
This is something I'm doing for me
So good bye, cause no longer will I be the girl who is blind

The chapter has sealed itself shut
So sit in your room and play some mean songs about me
I don't care, I know somebody with nicer hair

As a kid you must have been the bully on the playground
I'm done being the girl you give affection to and push down 
And I'm tired of standing on the sidelines while you try to run the show
I'm gonna move on with my life 
Prove there are things you will never know
There are things that books can't tell you 
Things only the heart can understand
You don't have one of those
So, pardon me, if I don't consider you a man

The chapter has ended but I won't shed a tear
The future's too bright for me to look back to darkness










Details | I do not know? | |

I Stand, Alone



I stand, alone.

Scratching for my truths,
peeling away the veneer,

I stand, alone, before this
impregnable cliff so sheer.

Cocooned in my solitary shell,
wrenching a smile from a tear,

I stand, alone, a little odd,
and definitely quite queer.

I stand, alone.


Details | Rhyme | |

My dream wedding day

Looking at the first blush of the morning,
I know its the perfect day for a wedding.
The big fat white wedding, the dream,
To which every little girl clings.
 
I tell myself as I watch the clouds turn white,
That this is the happiest day of a woman's life,
And that nothing should come in between,
The perfect bride and her groom.
 
I remember those young moments when I used to dream,
Of how our wedding would seem.
It was just like I had imagined,
A pretty day like today.
 
Slipping into my white dress and stilettos,
I think of the way you had proposed.
The way I had always wished for,
A dazzling ring in sparkling champagne.
 
I switch to happier thoughts from our past,
Holding hands, watching stars, laying on the grass.
We were high school sweethearts,
The perfect couple was what they called us.
 
We spent our days sneaking in a few kisses,
We used to pretend to be Mister and Mistress.
We were in love,
The crazy, eternal and rare kind.
 
Memories are shoved as mother comes into the room,
Holding a few red roses in full bloom.
Her eyes are teary and her voice is shaky,
As she whispers that she is proud of me.
 
Tears spill but I smile as I slide into the car,
Remembering the times you'd sing to me with your guitar.
The times you'd reach over and,
Tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
 
I laugh silently as I remember on the way to the chapel,
You saying once you were the beast and I, the belle.
You  always bring little candles and gifts,
And laugh as I make my birthday wish.
 
I wonder if you'd be laughing today,
As you cut the wedding cake with the sugar bouquet.
If you'd remember our old ceremonies,
In the event of your new one.
 
I walk through the gates smiling at our old friends,
And take your brother's hand as his arm extends.
He takes me in but lets me go,
As we reach the door to the flowery hall.
 
I peek through the crack to see you there,
At the altar smiling, running a hand through your hair.
I slip in and move to the side,
As the wedding march starts to play.
 
In came the blushing bride, walking gracefully down the aisle,
At her friends and family, she nods and smiles.
As I hold my breath and wipe my eyes,
Our high school love story plays in my head. 
 
I remember the day we promised we'd never part,
Because I would always be the one in your heart.
But your bride and you exchange your vows,
And I find myself repeating them inside.
 
The priest asks you to kiss your bride,
And I quickly slip outside.
Because no matter how alright I say I am,
Letting you go was the hardest thing I had ever done.
 
 
- Miliya Parveen


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence Lost

Can innocence lost
Be ever returned
Or a heart, tainted and broken
Be cleansed, made whole once more?

Can a tree, longing for summer's warmth
Summon its leaves from cold autumn grounds
To return to naked branches
That it may feel joyful and alive again?

Can a child, disillusioned
Relive broken dream
Changing fate
To find naivety return?

Can joy be had in innocence lost
Or beauty be discovered, resting in sadness?
When birth of spring and warmth of summer pass by
Till all that remains is the still and quiet of winter
Will warmth be rekindled?


Details | I do not know? | |

Shadow of death

Interchangable memories on an old dusty shelf
abandoned and lost in a mirage of my former self
Listliss and dull in spirit, cold blooded at heart
pondering the ways in which I fall apart

Take myself at face-value, or look deep within
Degraded myself in rythm with all of my sin
This plight I find hopless, this plot I find flawed
Is the shadow of death for me to be called

Whether I bleed, of even just if I try
It's in my opinion, it's better I die
Do you think evanescence is truly so bliss
If spoken by the serpant, so cold with a hiss

Take my misfortune, call me a mistake
And leave me alone, if not for pity's sake
I may fear that I'm falling, or maybe failing you see
The only thing I know, is what I hate most is me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Everytime I See Him...

Everytime I see him, my heart aches and breaks.
Everytime I see him, my knees and hands shake.
Living with the pain,
I am in vain.
Thinking that I'm hated,
It's not appreciated.

Everytime I see him,my world turns.
Everytime I see him,my stomach churns.
Everytime I see him,the world goes around and around.
Everytime I see him,it's like my heart's falling to the ground.

Just hearing his voice, all rough yet smooth,
Just waiting for that one perfect move.
At the same time, his scent is sweet & bitter.
It makes my body feel as if it's gonna shiver.

Everytime I see him, a flood of memories come into my head.
Everytime I see him, it's like the burning in my heart is being fed.
This pain hurts so much that it's so unbearable.
To me, this situation is not understandable.
Can't he understand that I love him so?
Well, I guess not...


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Encompassed in Memory

Cool mountain streams reflect the cobalt blues and greys of sky 		   
Restful twilight with stars scattered as if on a canvas 		   
Fire cloaks the curve of the earth and golden fish swim nearby 		   
Weeping willows in the field sway to an urgent sadness 		   
The gushing wind that stirs etches the land, channels through boundless time 		   
The carved thrust of a mountain range, maybe the Andes 		   
Will challenge the forever yielding sky, vast as the horizon 		   
Where rain batters the window and mists as far as we can see 		   
It is a warm evening in a pub in Ireland 		   
As the songs hover around us, I know this is what it is like to be free


Details | I do not know? | |

i carry you

CHAPTER 1
Broken glass, shattered dreams, aching hearts- bleeding the memories of yesterday
Fading hope, faded conviction; where do I go to bury you and put the dream of us 
away?
To preserve it forever I’ll put it to rest in c chamber of my soul, I will carry you in my 
heart
This way, my love, you’re forever mine, breathing you even though we are worlds 
apart


CHAPTER 2
Our song, romancing the moon and the summer breeze
The words I’ll be seeing you put my mind at ease
Oh God! Yet, I have burned it all, the bridges crossing to you my dear
I have tainted our love and demolished your heart of gold I fear
Ironically, it all came crashing down on your day of love Sir Valentine
Picture of destruction, sex, drugs and fake friendships intertwine
I will never insult you by trying to say I’m sorry, for it won’t do
There’s nothing I can even dream of that will ever make it up to you
That’s is why I’ll rather suffocate in my pain, take the punishment and protect you 
from me
You think you want this, but I destroy everything I touch, trust me part of my life 
you don’t want to be

HELL
My deepest desire is to go back and find you, but I don’t know where I let go
I don’t know what possessed me, how did you later become my foe
I’ve lost my mind more that I’ve realized, condemning us to hell
Sickening memories, pathetic choices and a heartbreaking story to tell
Pieces if of me, all I have left is my blackened heart and tears
If I forgive myself, will you leave my dreams – these are my fears
I year ago, to the night, I was almost conquered by the bear
The nightmare didn’t end there, I still carry you – life isn’t fair

AUTUMN
The days are turning colder, the warmth of the sun is fading away
An ironic metaphor of how we use to be, oh God how I wish it’ll be okay
I miss you, but I will always be looking for something more
More ambition, confidence, initiative – always being something that I’m punishing 
you for
God knows I want to be with you, but I will destroy
You loyal, passionate and unconditional love give boy


Details | ABC | |

THE WILDWEED

I was many in the field But had to know what's beyond the hill. Didn't know the cost was my roots.


Details | Ballade | |

Coronation blues

Coronation Blues

Now I was just a little boy
In nineteen fifty two
{I think that was the year it was
It’s close, I’m telling you}
King George had died a while ago
And the good Princess was set
To wear the blessed crown of England
This day, I’ll not forget.

It was a damp, cold dismal day
In that grey old London town
I recall that there was drizzle too
And Lord, it really got me down.
I’m sitting there on my dads shoulders
I’m just on nine years old
And I didn’t care about no British Queen
For I felt much too cold.

So when I think of royalty
It don’t give me no glee.
It takes me back to London town
And all that misery.
Waiting for this foolishness
{Well, it bored me close to tears}
And still, that pomp, and old tradition
To me be not too dear.

23 July 2004


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea

When you can longer run away from yourself
When you thought there were no more tears to cry
When you just want to die
Living like this consumed by the façade of a million lies
So many years, so many days
Waking up to people who no longer care you're there
You ask how can this be, one short organic vitality
Wasted with living; the slowest way to die

The shadows of shame weigh you down 
Until you drown, filled with only their hate
All you can turns grey, and all you ever loved fades
The agony is all you know, thank you pain
A self-sadist Is all you have become, j
ust how they showed you, craving so much more
Just to hide up all of the misery
But under cloth it still bleeds

This is the Escapist's Plea
For the one who fall to their knees in misery
Trying to stay sane but fall under September's rain
Dying from the invisible disease, only you can see
Stigmatized by their sadistic need
Only if I could just fly away
...Fly Away


Details | Free verse | |

Since you went away

Blow after blow upon the throbbing heart and my torn in half soul since you went away. Wish you could have stayed a little longer if only a crane could take me away from here help me catch up with you. I'm alive beside you you are the compass that guided me through many a difficult impasse don't know if I can brave these rough seas that have hit my shores since you went away. I know you will be with me but I miss your funny ways that have helped me through many a storm along the way. Blow after blow upon my throbbing heart and my torn in half soul since you went away. By CarolineCecile - 09.15.12


Details | Free verse | |

Chair of Death

On a cool afternoon for tea,
She sat in that chair,
Humming for our silence;
Her bones quivering the instrumentals
Within the ruffles of the skin.
When her tune came to an end,
She took time to turn our way.
Not because she felt obliged 
That she had all the time in the world,
But because her youth had shredded
To make her nothing but one
Who hoped for time.
For the painstaking moments passed
And we locked eyes.
She fought her raging wrinkles to smile
And nod my way.

Perhaps she tried too hard
To say a decent goodbye.

One would think he keeps it
Because he has to.
We'd sit on the floor first
Before we touch that chair.
For it encases you, 
Tightens its weight upon you
And hums so sweetly between the ear and soul,
The sounds of a sour, unsaid farewell.


Details | Free verse | |

Everythings changing

you once made me happy
now you only make me cry
You usta listen
now you only scream
why are you doing this to me
We once were a dream
now were a nightmare
why cant I wake up
you use to look at me like I mattered
now you just look the other way
you usta make me feel beautiful
now you make me feel undesirable
why do I feel so ugly
you once turned me on 
but nows the attractions fading
I usta love the sex
but now I cant wait for it to be over
what happened to us
I once thought you loved me
but now im not so sure
why did you make me so insecure
I use to feel safe with you
now im scared to death
why did you lie, you said you'd never hurt me
I once thought you were good for me
but now I know thats not true
why did you change,
what happened to make your personality rearrange
when you would hug me I use to melt
but now it just feels hollow
when you would kiss me I use to feel it
But now I dont feel a thing
why is this happening
Everythings changing and were falling out of love
and I feel is pain and regret
do you feel anything
I wish I never got attached
cause then Ide just be numb
and I wish underneith, 
that I didnt still feel that your the one
everythings changing,
and damage has been done


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

'HEALING'

The beauty I see in things 
makes me so sad....
For when I find something beautiful,
It may never be quite that way again.

A summer day
an autumn breeze
a color in a sunset....
your warm hand held in mine.

Why do i still hear your name....
in my head....
Faint,
tired....
so tired.....
almost dead.

My soul still whispers to God for you 
without me even thinking....
So thoughtless,
hopeless,
longing,
sadly dreaming. 

Unbearable.......
That sweet old dream of being in your arms 
my frame stood secure in yours
You were thin and warm and sturdy.....
soft coat of yours so cozy.................
Your face emanating ‘happy’....

Too soon, you began to fade away......
In tears I closed my eyes 
and held on tight.....
Oh, I couldn’t bear to watch you disappear again
But I felt it, all right.....

Your memory....
I’ll stuff in the dark of my mind 
in an ebony box
And keep it so tightly shut....
Tied with a long, dripping ribbon of blood

And thus my healing has begun.....
But I’ll still be on the run.........

No love deserves to live so long...
then die alone, so painfully.
Never again will this soul feel so trapped---
so helpless----
and so...........free......................


sorrylittlesharky.com


Details | Lyric | |

Sorhleod

It was the myriad relapse The shadows perched, time slipped, the temptation resided to my mind I'm sure I have most the soul I never once had Lost; once you go into the dark eternal black there's no hope of dreaming of atoning back Small child I cling to you trying to savor the innocence When I could believe in everything again I tried All along to search for the truth But " the truth" is something that the truth eradicated I want to be ignorant again Can't face reality again Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fear Remove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive" makes me cry I can't make it stopThe razor beckons my name The scars and all their Shame... Find a way to pierce my serpent heart Through the iron membrane it's bleeding, I know When I have no cigarettes to burn When I have no more knowledge to Learn When I have no more xanax To cause concern I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fearRemove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive"makes me cry I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me I've dried out tMy heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me


Details | Blank verse | |

Soulless Wanderer

Scared to walk on the flagstones that your love would lay in my journey
My journey to freedom
My journey to diffidence  
My journey to destiny.
I returned back flake of your sole that was with me as a keepsake
AND started ambling legs on the promenade of my journey.

I didn't want to bail out from our story
I just wanted to elide your presence in my sole
You never brought any elegy to our imperishable bond but
It was me who rusted ours amicable relation and decided our segregation.

Walking away from your home and stepping on YOUR FOOTSTEPS
I felt your breath and relived every moment with you again but 
When I turned back I just saw a dilapilated house and a barren dusty road

NOW as I am roaming lugubriously I don't have you with me
Your absence has quenched my thirst for search of destiny 
And I have realized that my journey didn't began after leaving you but it ENDED.

Its not that I have forgotton you and my brain has erased photographic memories of you in my kaput life
I still remember you while sitting on the porch and watching the stars alone
I still remember you when I want someone to hold my hand and walk with me
AND I still remember the last meeting of our eyes.

Whenever these feeling start taking control of me I console my heart by saying

How could I have asked her to come when even I don't know where I am going.
I am just a Soulless Wanderer` 


Details | Ballade | |

TIME CAN FREEZE YOUTH INDEFINITELY

This vain wish to live longer, somewhere,
makes me struggle with my vulnerability
of having been born with the fear of dying...
and before that is accomplished: let me live!


I've been told, " It's not possible that time can freeze youth indefinitely,"
but that intricate illusion was too persistent and real;
this boy always believed it would have never faded...
now being sorrowful and old, I realize how untrue and contrived it was!  


Be convivial and consume your time wisely,
don't hold the conviction that over-the-hill is the end;
you've gathered all the knowledge to survive another year,
and on your calendar mark every birthday and celebrate...
I will do the same believing that I'd continue walking in eternity
as when youth froze time to contradict an undeserved fate
without connoting wrong, but being congrous and fair...
oh, youth  your concession has compensated me for that loss!
  

I should be miserable as anybody else...lamenting and lashing,
but what good it would do if not harm me and shorten these days?
I enjoy every moment that life gives me...being hopeful for more to come;
others cuss, slander and end life demolishing all they had built in their past!
I denote my achievements as milestones that everyone will remember,
and certainly I'll be sought after for the secrets my words will unfold;   
and their purpose and extent are very conceivable to the scholar and reader...
not deploring the naive idea that time can freeze youth indefinitely.


Details | Narrative | |

The Hobo

Time's moments takes it's toll
 adding gravitational pull
 
To a body, so weighed down
 His chin can touch the ground
 
With pain visible on his face
 He lives sans his wit, and grace
 
A life of selfishness, his crime
 now sentenced, to a duel with time
 
And time's blatent tenacity
 plus it's control over eternity
 
Reminds the man how much it's cost
 for him to realize what he's lost
 
So he wears time's final wrath
 As he walks life's thorny path
 
All alone without a friend
 He walks the path to journey's end


Details | Free verse | |

Delicate Verses

Delicate Verses

Memories choke me; leaves me silent,
yet for loves sake and nothing less
than
to confess it... I open up my soul to
scribe you in metaphors that I can
taste, touch; but alas the tears fall
like bleeding rain staining these
empty pages before I can lay
down my heart. So when
the stars are weeping, I
plant dreams of you
and I as forget me
nots;
face pressed tight peering
through taffeta tattered
lattices, perchance to
catch a glimpse of
a love that once
bloomed.
~
I record the most fragile parts of us
in verses that flow, and form our
completion; soothing sonnets
uninhibited and unbound,
trickling from my pen held
hand. Mad words, sad
words, love words,
darkly risen words;
Poetry inspired
by a muse that
bears your
name;
Pleasure
and Pain.


Details | I do not know? | |

Distant African Nights

Those Distant African Nights...


1.


The shadows swayed in your candlelit room,

a cool breeze teasing your bare back,


streaks of lightning forked in the Johannesburg night,

as my hands stroked your hair,

kissing your soft mouth,

holding you,

ever so tight.



2.


You whispered that you loved me,

and I kept silent,


the rain fell, 
shadows danced,
thunder rolled,

the breeze teased your naked back,

you whispered that you loved me,
as my lips found yours,

the rain washed over our tender nights,


lightning and candlelight,

etching poems on your burnished skin,


yet,

a fear gnawed at me,

deep within.



3.


We parted ways,
and you could never forgive me, you said,


now, after numberless thunderstorms,

the rain that falls,


echo the countless tears that I have shed.



4.


You are long gone,

far away,

happy, I pray,


yet the memories persist,

those precious moments shall never, 
ever,

like the Jo'burg rains,
trickle away,

and I wish you well,
for loving me as you did,

for it was I who was not worthy,


then,


and it is I who is not worthy,


now...



5.


You were always true,


it was I who always,

always,

refused to,


to give myself,


completely to you.






Details | Elegy | |

When words mean nothing

How to abate the loathing
When words mean nothing?

There are moments
In human existence

When
Any resistance
against baleful fate
is futile.

When
One is left
with his thoughts
Forsaken 
by all gods

Astonished immensely
by the world vile
which first
gave him birth
and now
devours him
with mirth

Agonizes he
in every spot
on the Earth

Where does his heart belong to
Never will he learn

How to console such a man
When all words would burn?

How to abate the loathing
When words mean nothing?


Details | Free verse | |

Clothing My Soul- Unveiled Lullaby



My spirit becomes one with my words
Standing without shame - dancing together with my soul
Even though my heart…
Walks upon soil that bathes my feet with tears
Searching for leaves to dry and clothe my soul
With her silken wraps of greene' 


I kneel my heart upon Earth’s carpet
Undressing my soul upon her soft emerald blades of grass
As the silence of echoing thunder 
Lays her solemn song upon deafened ears
Ears that no longer hear my voice of tears


The fabric of my heart - silenced now by unheard cries
As my intricate illusions fumble with un-promised conclusions
Pulling off fragile petals of flowers that were not bequeathed
Spinning cobwebs in my broken heart
A heart - so carelessly forgotten
You...
My unveiled lullaby of sorrow


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye

Comforting words
Smooth, quiet tones
Reassurance 
complete confidence 

Long nights spent reasoning
In total understanding
Twin thoughts 
twin minds
twin miseries
and twin fates

Now it’s so quiet
Too quiet
Complete and utter silence....
Oh my God, 
What happened to the good old days
When we both made sense?!

Lost in blurry dreams of childhood
Colorful, wonderful, windy days
Subconscious cradled memories 
of the times when we 
were eachother’s only friends

Only you, 
	the sky
		the earth
			and me...


				No betrayal

			No lies
		No fire

	No hate

No regrets.

I think I can understand 
why you won’t face me
But your sudden silence
is so confusing

Did you ever know me well enough
to know my affection for ultimate honesty?
If you wanted me to go away
why didn’t you just say something? 

Only this emptiness is left
Inconsolable grief...
For what never again can be 

No warning
No parting words
No ceremony

You went and had the funeral 
for our friendship
but did not invite me

From the start
I thought these ways would always be
But in the end,
All I wanted, my friend 
was to say 
goodbye.

I can’t trust anyone
anymore
anyway

All alone again
shame on me


Details | I do not know? | |

Without You



Without you,

worn down, weary,
staggering into tomorrow,
dissolving my todays, grim, dreary,

I crawl, slipping out of my skin,
flinging laughter, joy, contentment,
into the gaping abyss of life's dustbin.

Without you


Details | Cinquain | |

Pink Gloam

pink gloam a reflection of sunsets long ago mirroring my longing of days gone by


Details | Haiku | |

Reflection

Somber, forgotten:

Young taunting winds encircle

Lone-standing cactus.


Details | Rhyme | |

Unsightly Life

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, isn’t it?
Then why can’t you get over the pain and sadness?
Well, guess maybe we’re residing on another planet
With another flow of life and another reality system 
Gazing upon the starry night sky, wondering what if
What if you could wake up one morning and be happy
No wings and you are falling, falling from a high cliff
Sad memories, are devouring you unbelievably slowly
Eyes closed or opened, only loneliness is what you see
People’s negative talk about you are filling your head
And their whisper invade your heart, making you lonely
The darkness you’re living in is like the echoes of dead
You never asked to be born and you never asked to be alive
But since you are, poor child, make the best out of your life


Details | Couplet | |

Thunderstorm in Venice

A testament to human will it stands,
Fair maiden of all the foreign lands.
An equilibrium between Earth and sea,
Maintained in grotesque ecstasy.
The gentle lap of waves doth speak,
Of times ere now, of bygone weeks,
Of countless Romeos in ages old,
Emotions worth their weight in gold,
And whispers in the dark I hear,
Every time I saunter near
The unlit alleys and ragged walls,
Creaking bridges and eerie halls,
Fair Venice why art thou so dark?
Distress'd art thou, thy face is mark'd--
With horror; in words which no man dare etch,
Captured forever in this gloomy sketch.


Details | Elegy | |

Time, Love, and Loss

He loves her. 
His love for her never ends. 
“Love is patient, love is kind.” 
The good book says. 
Time..
It is your best friend if you think about it. 
It is also your worst enemy; 
It shows no mercy nor welcomes your white flag. 
The sinister disguise of Death and his pale green horse,
Hung in offices, homes, and churches. 
12:08 pm.. 
Tears paint his face and the rain befriends him. 
12:35 pm.. 
Hugs, kisses, and condolences: 
“Love never dies.” 
“Love lasts for eternity.” 
“She will always live in you.” 
I don’t respond; 
I lack the strength. 
I have crafted up a bronze statue in my heart. 
Forever will my love be for her. 
Forever will I be her keepsake.  
The consequence of love is not a tragedy as I once believed. 
The tragedy is not understanding what love is. 
The tragedy is not being loved. 
My heart is now the way it should be.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Pilot Dove

My Pilot Dove

Where is my Pilot Dove?
He went to his hanger;
I can not find him
this brings me anger
He flew away; took our love?
not here with me; He flies above.



McCuen Copyright October 2008


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost Love

And so we stand here naked and vulnerable,
Age revealing its twisted truth;
A new breed of dismal innocence,
To the flower of my teasing youth.

Am I but a broken vessel?
My fruit long ripened, far from the tree.
A blaze of glory now long subdued,
A whisper of a memory.

Awkward and exposed in our bed,
I endure your fumbling, guilty touch.
Confessing to my aching flesh,
Too little feeling… or too much?

What else to do, but again recite
That old, weak and dusty cliché.
An involuntary reflex it spills from my lips,
For lack of anything else to say.

I know it cannot go on forever,
Merely three words to stifle the pain.
But you are all I have left my darling,
So lets live the lie once again.


Details | Elegy | |

Bloodless On Mother's Day

There is a glare of stray sunlight
daring to reverberate
through spiderwebbed glass I haven't
found energy to fix
in the span of four years.
It is too much of a mirror,
too tangible a thought,
to make new.
It's lithe fingers, thin and bony, 
and mockingly bright,
steal over embossed cardstock that arrives, like clockwork,
in deepest sympathy.
And a thornless bouquet of pastels laden with
Babies Breath
only draws on blood long lost;
nobody seems to comprehend such an allegory,
or lack there of,
so it can't be carried
over the steps.




"Bloodless On Mother's Day"
Jenna-Nichole Conrad
Wordsmith


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

True Reflection

Looking in the glass, I see the scars, I see the tears fall, from her tired eyes. I smile, Then watch her force a smile, Back at me. The hurt within her, Barely hiding. She smiles, She tried to make you believe, That she's okay. She's okay with it all. The emptiness, No longer haunts her in her sleep. I see the tiredness under her eyes. She gets angry, Turns away, Turns back with a raised fist. Tears streaming from her eyes. Then, A smash, A crash, Shattered glass. Finally, I walk way, From the broken Mirror.


Details | I do not know? | |

Scoldin myself, hating myself

Scolding myself, hating myself,
I have to go on. What else is left?
Did you love me? I don`t know.
I said “farewell” and you let me go.
If you just played, then it`s all right.
I went away and it was my right.
I fell in love. It was my fault.
But if you loved me, why did you stop?


Details | Free verse | |

Memories Made

The coldest white had fell
Surrounding all the feet of those behind
The day turned into hours
Just in the mind
Did the gift appear in night?
Or were dreams reality?
Did it come from karma’s hands?
It drifts from sanity

The trek towards that happy place
You’ve been there many times
Something was different now
It held a horrible surprise
The box wasn’t full of life and sound
The ashes of memories made were here
Taking longer to twist the knife
Left remains of a child now in tears

Standing still you couldn’t breath
Excuses flying in your mind
Trying to figure out the scene
Hoping there’s time
You look up to see
Expectant eyes for the last time
You wish you could keep
But it’s the saddest of a smile 


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Modern Day Merlin

To the torn page out of Modern day Merlin’s book of wizardry,

I regret to inform you that you are nothing more than a recipe for tomato soup. You have no enchanted qualities about you, but you tend to brag about where you come from more times than you realize. Dear torn page, haven’t you noticed that the he only wondered on your whereabouts when his life was turning quite pale in color, and rugged in shape? Your words of zest, and your smooth direction brought vibrancy into his blue octagonal soul. Probably like how an octopus would feel escaping from a cloud of his own ink. He could breathe again.

But you’re lost now, and he doesn’t care much. You wonder why you were written in the first place if you’ve only felt what magic you can make once. If there are over 7 billion people in this world, have you ever wondered how many pages in books there might be? Has it ever occurred to you that out of those trillions of pages turned, over half haven’t been read at all? Has it ever occurred to you that books have been transformed into toys? Children in schools use you until they grow up and buy iPhones and laptops, and you’re left on sitting sideways on some rotting wooden shelf that has nothing more to talk about than how bad of a shape he’s in. Has it ever occurred to you that there are mysteries, histories, nursery rhymes, and adventures that have been overlooked because of the simple fact that humans have given up on the great things?

Actually, it would seem that giving up is the only thing their willing to give. Your black blood on a papyrus shell just doesn’t flow in the mind like it used to. You reminisce on the time when you were the only one that cast a spell on him, and you gave him life again.

Now the wizard is off signing autographs and performing shows at Rockefeller Center every first Friday of the month. He uses only spells so basic that he doesn’t have to read the step by step instructions anymore. To be honest, the book isn’t even used as frequently. I think I even saw a family of dust specks rent a home on page thirty-three last week.

But has it slipped your mind, humble recipe? Have you forgotten already of the position you’re in? You are a torn page now.

So float on by.

Let the wind keep you steady.


Details | I do not know? | |

Song of the Lost Heart

Spring’s kiss
So sweet and chaste 
Summer’s touch
It makes my heart race
Reminding me,
Of your warm embrace

As I look out to sea
A gentle breeze brushes across my face
Like the soft touch of your fingertips on my skin

With Autumn’s death
Come Winter’s chills
Shivering,
When will I be in your arms again

Seasons come and go,
When will you return
And ease my pain
I now fear that my wait 
Has all been in vain

Oh, why have you gone,
Gone so far away
When would you ever come
Come back to me


Details | Rhyme | |

Diary

Write a poem with words from the heart

Jot down a sweet memory so you may never part

Remembering the days gone by

Sweet smiles and tears you've cried

Forever cemented to live on these pages

Sentances meant to defy the ages

Return to them when you need a smile to replace a frown

Or just to remember the path you've gone down

Echos of happiness, pleasure, pain and guilt

Words woven together just like a quilt

Feel the warmth as you wrap them around

Soft protection from the cold hard ground

Memories of moments you just cant forget 

Keep writing your words and never quit!


Details | Free verse | |

The Silence of rain

Pardon me if I’m trembled to speak
For all unsaid words 
That I keep inside my mind
Think no more of your worries
For the times I was deserted
I just wanted to listen to the silence of rain
I can feel their quiet grief
In every drop that falls 
Maybe, these are bitter sweet tears
That I hide
I can give to heed to amiable lullabies
That sound like voices of angels
Could it be a song?
That delights your sympathy
Perhaps they are cried of my sorrow
But you never even heard
Sorry if sometimes
If my heart says nothing but questioning
About the feelings that I thought
It wasn’t so true
Let me join in the rain
Let them fall in my palm
So as then I could truly understand
Every word that was written in your mind
Let me cry in the rain
To hide all what I’ am feeling
For so many times I was trying
To perceive the love that you gave
An untamed love, I was deceived
Try to listen to the silence of rain
Sits quiet and tries to understand them
As the way I wanted from you

Listen to the silence of rain



Written By  : Cheryl Aldea
Date  :  April 21, 2011----
Copyright @ 2011
All rights reserve.


Details | Lyric | |

Like

Warmth
In my skin
Fresh faced
Embracing sin

Gather
Retract
Sun bathed golden grains
Richer
Infract
Life everlastingly changed

Darkness 
Ahead
Impending disaster
Silently said

Wind
Bend
Ache
Break
Slipping through
Again 
Too late

Ivory
Showing
Please
Start slowing
These savory moments within

Gaps 
Inside
Helplessly flowing
In this tide
Traps my hands in emptiness
From the sun filled sky

Wind
Bend
Ache
Break
Slipping through
Again 
Too late


Details | Sonnet | |

Shall I compare thee to a winters morn

Shall I compare thee to a winter’s morn?
Thou art more frigid and thou cometh too late.
Rough winds do shake the branches of the thorn,
And winter’s sun hath all too long to wait. 

Sometimes too bright the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed
By cloud and wind and snow amidst the pines,
Or chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed. 

But thy eternal chill shall never fade
Nor lose possession of that icy grace;
Thou’rt dead at heart, but death has been delayed
But memories shall never yet erase

So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives love, but now I say good-bye.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

When Alone

When skies are bluer than ever before
and clouds disappear from sight
I am alive
When thunderstorms flash white
and the rains come
I am alone
When daffodils burst forth from the snow
and crocus peep through
I am alive
When winter cold and trees barren
and leaves lie on frozen floor
I am alone
I want to face life's storms
with friends who hold my hand
and family who clearly states,
"You are not alone"
Then, I will live.


Details | Rhyme | |

Curse of a Princess

Fairytales,
and butterflies,
in this story,
we begin with lies,
promises,
we never kept,
I should have held on tighter,
when you wept,
small mistakes,
on both our parts,
added up,
to shred our hearts,
creeping shadows,
behind the flowers,
in what we thought,
were our finest hours,
talking grass,
crystal snow,
in our lie of love,
a hidden foe,
the evil witch,
her claws aimed to kill,
t'was she who pushed you,
down the hill,
a broken crown,
a forgotten well,
to live without you,
was her spell,
an evil curse,
she cast in spite,
although we loved, 
with all our might,
kept apart,
by what was said,
in regret,
our hearts bled,
watch from afar,
speak in vein,
a curse taken course,
inflicted pain,
and so it began,
with love and lies,
our fairytale ends,
and we both die...


Details | Free verse | |

Forgive, please forget

I lie here looking at the ceiling,
Then I look to your word,
It didn't have much meaning, 
Trusting you is almost absurd
You left me broken promises
I know I'm better off
No more kisses
I need to write you off
I'm a creature of habit
I  know I'm not that tough
I have no heart to be compassionate
You stole it, left it in the rough
I'm Forgetting how your voice sounds
It truly makes me sad
yet still want you around
I still know what we had 
Why'd did you ever leave? 
Why couldn't we have been enough for you?
Now you wallow in sorrow and tell me how you grieve
love isn't for the weak I give the devil his due 
Now you suffer twisting, contorted pain
the worst mistake of your life
takes me back to lovers lane
You really messed up and I'm to alleviate you of your strife?
You think you deserve it?
….
…..
…...
…....
…..I do.


Details | Lyric | |

Roots of Time

My soul fears it not. It languishes with all I’ve had…
Existence  cares it not. You either lose it or add it
My body freezes not , around myself people passing by... 
I’ve had this empty  spot, easy to conquer, hard to apply..

So I dive inside my self to find amusement and selfishness.
Why do I hang on to this bitter moment, when love is all that I couldn’t have?

Then I dive into my nature, and I see a man bringing  it to closure..
A path  he never walked.  He searched, and fought, 
And at the end, he became a hurt creature in a world of hallow…
He became filled with emotions and people he could never forgive…

So I dive  inside myself to find amusement and selfishness.
Why do I hang on to this bitter moment, when love is all that I couldn’t have?

Then I quiet down, I pray, I cry. I force myself to stand up
God! Where can find strength  to stop the pain where  I weak mostly?
What have I done to my  dreamt dreams, which were so happily created, and now 
so ghostly lived?     

So I dive  inside myself to find amusement and selfishness.
Why do I hang on to this bitter moment, when love is all that I couldn’t have?

Suddenly, I close my eyes. My hands tremble , my body stops…
I hear voices inside my head: 
“ its your time and  is now is too late, you journey is over,  this is your faith! Its your 
time and is now too late, your dream is over, there is no mate”

So I dive  inside myself to find amusement and selfishness.
Why do I hang on to this bitter moment, when love is all that I couldn’t have?
 

At the end I am Stumbled.  I am astonished by the feeling from within
All I have is emptiness.  I had it all  and never fought.. I saw it all, and never 
caught…
I simply stood away, and let it  pass by me…Amazingly and free. 
 I have chosen too much and have so little. I  am all alone. 


Details | Free verse | |

Another day

Another day, the sun rises
Life lived in bland monotony
I find at best I am complacent
existing on the borderline of contentment
 
It's rarely found to be of favor
but everyday you'll find me here
Waiting patiently for another chance
to leave my mark on so dull a world
 
Maybe today will be the day
that this bleak existence I suffer
Finally gives way to a new spark
and I find excitement has been born
 
I wish only to have a moment
A brief passing of time
Let me live my fifteen minutes
dancing quietly in the spotlight
 
Another day, the sun sets
I look out my window
With a sigh I find my bed
Another day passed,
Another day wasted.


Details | Free verse | |

What I've Become

I've become tired all the time
And I wake up at noon
My dreams are too realistic and
Nightmares have begun to 
comfort me 
With their broken, clipped, 
harsh sounds

I've become to breathe with 
effort
It is no longer an automatic 
mechanism that requires no 
help
But a project that I work on all 
day
Processing the steps and 
remembering my task
Like a child learning her first 
song

I've become to keep to myself
Never joining for meals or 
Leaving the comfort of my cold, 
dark room
Where nobody will disturb me
It will be just me and music

I've become emotionless
Like a rock, or a dirty street 
curb
I will provide you with no 
sympathy
Or gratitude
Only a solid form that has a 
presence

I've become dysfunctional
Because one of my pillars has 
been taken down
One of strings was strummed 
too many times
One of my gears needs oiled
And one of my organs needs 
repaired


I am not myself.  

And who are you?


Details | Free verse | |

Silence

Silence
How deep is the silence? 
When it builds between 
Two souls that assume
They understand each other
But when altered ego takes
The Dive, the plunge never
Ends and the abyss spread
Its arms and engulfs relations
Lost in those thoughts, we 
Tend to Drift apart, with 
Hope of touching the End
To break the
Silence...


Details | Verse | |

True Colors

This is to you
The girl with the head up high
Always so cheerful and full pride
Knowing that alone at night you cry
Always looking down on people
Thinking that you are too good
In reality its you,
Who wants to be understood
Hiding emotions so no one sees
How true colors come out to be
You may be beautiful through the outside
But could be rotting through the inside
Its best if you let that life go
Before your interior shows
And then no one will like to be next to you
Because everything they said about you was true.


Details | Free verse | |

King Of The Hill

<                                               Vietnam War
                                              Capture of Saigon


                                               What The Hell For


                                                   Guerrilla war

                                                 Conventional war


                                                 What The Hell For

                                                       
                                                       Laotians
                                                    Cambodians
                               
                                                     Vietnamese
                                                    U.S.  Soldiers 
                  

                                                     Casualties


                                                 What The Hell For


My Thoughts On 
The Vietnam War


May All R.I.P.




                                                         

                                                       


Details | Rhyme | |

Fill Up The Void

Skin on skin,
Tell me you love me.
You don't have to mean it 
I just need to hear it now.

Naked and lying,
At least I know your trying.
I know it can't be easy, easy
even though I am.

I am trying,
To put forth some emotion
though your feigning  your 
devotion
you don't even know my name.

I've slipped into,
Something sort of numbing
even though I may be coming 
I can't even fake a sigh.

Please just stay,
Please pretend to listen.
These lips I have I swear
are made for so much more 
than kissing.

I can feel, 
My body growing colder
You wink back over your 
shoulder 
And I'm as empty as can be.


Details | Free verse | |

YOUR VOICE

Imagine a lovely garden, tea for two and this story:

The sound of your voice is a soothing balm,
That eases my tension and fills me with calm.
Whenever I'm homesick and feel all alone,
It's the sound of your voice that takes me back home,

To a time when my worries were simple and few,
And my problems, then complex, were just something new;
A thing yet untried and so they confounded,
The heart of a youngster still new and ungrounded,

In matters of managing life in extremes,
And if not for you I'd have lost many things.
It's you that has given me courage to try,
And reach out for a goal and never say die,

And though I gain comfort,
And wisdom in years,
It's the sound of your voice,
I still long to hear.

                             Judy Ball

(Life - Like A Home Needs Love For It's Foundation.)

For I Fancy Another Sad Poem Contest by Constance LaFrance - Aug.15,2011


Details | Lyric | |

Lovers Departed

Lovers departed
Like two souls unwanted
Sent to Hell in a hand basket
To make it out on your own
Futures are uncertain
Hope can be lost
Place faith in the fact that
What could have been, never was

Hearts and minds tend to fight
An epic tug-of-war
All you ever wanted 
blew out the front door
And now all we do is search
For Mister and Miss Right
But did we just maroon them, each other, on shore?

Long words abandoned
For those softer on tongues
One plans the future,
The other plans today’s fun
Why can’t they both
Simply cross the other’s path
It’s for not lack of trying
Until turning one’s back

Memories have faded
Yet others return
Was it a fair exchange 
to receive the good for the spurned?
The wrong days will cut you
With fears and regrets
Sometimes we hold onto
What no one thinks is best

In the foggy uncertain
Only time can unfold
If happiness awaits 
Or you die old and alone


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections of Love

I need to heal and fast,
I can feel the time running out, all too soon.
But can't push myself out of the agony,
The threads of pain pull me back like a puppet.
 
I seem wrong to be grieving now, odd one!
Everybody else is no longer black,
Me, haven’t seen the sunlight for long;
The mansion, its corridors, the rooms  now my world.
 
The wound in my heart is still too fresh,
It forbids me from a sunset on the beach,
It forbids me from running or skipping,
It forbids me from laughter and joy...
 
In denial: they say but it's not all true, I accept
I know he is dead, He is no more
But do I dump him in my past and move on?
The thought makes me hate myself!
 
He would want you to smile again, live further..
Strangers tell me his likes and wants, the know-it-alls.
I look straight ahead and avoid their prying eyes
It’s a losing battle, I know but let me lose in grace...
 
Visitors keep pouring in, with flowers and tears.
He was a man loved by many, the crowd proves it,
Everybody seems shocked and pale but not as lost as me
I glide along the windows, reliving the shadow of memories...
 
The moments were many, uncountable even,
It crushes my soul to think, they are all I have,
I see his fingerprints on the window panes,
I search for mine too, just beside him they lay...
 
The garden is being watered, but by a strange hand
The plants understand the master is now below them, 
He will never enjoy their colors or drive away moths
His ashes and scent scattered around the mango tree..
 
I smile at the garden then burst out laughing,
Before I know, warm tears run down my nose
But there still lingers a smile, wet with glistening tears
I am happy he lived, he lived full and more...


Details | Free verse | |

A moment

 "come fluttering words, come drifting words to me  . . . "


Crumbled walls
Decaying paths
She wanders through the wreckage of a life she once knew

The sky is different now
Similar but different
Yes, the clouds form different patterns of tragedy in the gray abyss above
And it will never look the same again

She shivers at the thought
Catches sight of herself in a puddle
New roots sprout across her skin
And she weeps

Ahead of her is pink
And new

Flowers

She leans down to meet them
Inhales them
Let's her tears fall onto their fragile petals
Which bob gently in reply
As if they understand

She is mourning for a moment not yet passed.


Details | Alliteration | |

She girl

She lives with friends.
She meets her loves.
She starts her work.
She sits as a dove.
She runs her life.
She's got all that.
But then she's found
Dead on the track.


Details | Free verse | |

Antenna of Clairvoyance

The antenna of my clairvoyance
Brings me your picture

     I see, still I see 
     You at end of the bachelor’s pasture
     On the threshold of Wedlock’s lustre
     In dilemma, being Connector you intend
     Or as a Divider you stand 
     Vision is, yeah, very much clear
     As if you are on my retina’s layer

The antenna of my clairvoyance
Brings me your voice clear

     I can, still I can
     Hear the unspoken words
     That your lip’s womb delivered
     Sobbing as a lost baby, in a cave you are
     Of bachelor stones and married pillars
     Echo is, yeah, very much clear
     As if you are drumming it in my ear

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hitendra Mehta
(Entry for Members Contest - Hearts Warmth by Sami Al-Khalili )


Details | Free verse | |

In My Bedroom Walls

A place for a myriad of pastimes
From bliss to despair
The pictures that hang here have a luminous glow from the rays that shine from 
the sun
Sometimes I stare at the them wishing I could escape into the picturesque 
setting where I am free from all my demons

My bedroom walls
Where my secrets lie 
They see my sins
They hear my cries
Just one more place
Where my dreams have died

Ghosts from my past
Awaken me at night
I hear the howling
Of the wolves that lay in wait to tear my flesh
They violate sacred grounds
Like vultures they feed off me until all that is left is bones

If these walls could speak what would they say?
Would they scream my confidences like Banshees and give their mistress away?
Or will they remain silent? 
Mysterious chamber of slumber where both romance and horror have performed
Where I keep myself hidden
Only they have the key to unlock the truth bestowing serenity on my soul
These bedroom walls don't crucify me for my wicked transgressions
In my bedroom walls I don't have to masquerade or put on a costume to conceal 
my imperfections
In these bedroom walls I am free to be me


Details | I do not know? | |

Lord, Why Did You Take Him? (Monody)


He always praised and loved the mountain folklore, 
Sang songs in sparkling summer or in cold winter. 
Ahh, but now the legend shall sing songs no more, 
Nor will this li’l warbler listen to his banter.

I have known him so well, too sweet for my name, 
When he gently held these tiny hands to play.
Him, Oh I could not forget nor put to shame,
But the selfish touch of fate took him away.

I have lost him, my daddy, to the giant tree;
His echo swiftly fading in the cloudless noon sky.
If the sacred rocks would just give him back to me,
So I might, again, hear him sing ere to sleep I lie.  


Details | Free verse | |

My, My, My

My, My, My My life is a crack in the concrete My faith is an old newspaper cutout My soul is the drifting clouds My heart is a crystal sphinx My core is as solid as a cup of pudding My voice is a hundred tapping feet So many words circle around my mind Reminding me I could never speak them all I wish the sky was closer so I could touch it When I feel like I'm falling from oh so high Many times I feel like I'm selling stories Good enough to be read but never instant classics These feelings I feel are taped to my heart But the duct tape is slowly peeling away A lot of verbs represent what I like to do But there's a lot of verbs I'll never experience Yet maybe if the iron walls come crashing I'll experience life like a brand new dictionary My life is a leaf falling to the ground My faith is an old unread novel My soul is the stars in the universe My heart is a sabertooth tiger My core is merely a collection of bottle caps My voice is a hundred buzzing vuvuzelas Days pass where I cut words from magazines Folding them up into old albums I'll never look at again I keep dipping my feet into pits of brownie mix Wishing I could taste yet I lack a tongue Most of the time I'm living an ancient ghost story Locked in the basement of a haunted mansion Yet these wood paneled walls can't keep me in Not when I'm as tall as any adjective in my mind Not a day passes when I don't look at the sky To see if I can cut the truth from the very clouds It's like a hundred new mysteries each and every day Just waiting for eager minds to find them My life is the sun setting in the horizon My faith is an old countryside sit-in diner My soul is the song of a million grasshoppers My core is the binding of an old book My voice is the breath of a thousand sleeping babies


Details | Free verse | |

Remove Your Mask

It covers your soul as darkness draping over the sunlight,
Your Spirit seeks the world with penetrating eyes,
An undisputable wave, a persuaded glance, 
A vanity inside abiding, and nonetheless
 Fragmented consumed exhibits –
 Pieces as shattered glass,
Dusted with suffering in twinkling’s time,
Whirling with frenzy, becoming a cavort
With mere thoughts of an empty heart-
Seeking out an eternity of dual hearts
Winged hand-in-hand evoking beauty,
A joyful dawn, a gem of love,
And mystery given by hours of a gentle work;
 Your guarded soul knowing each mask which
Stands wishing and seeking the selfsame,
Poses evolving and amassing little understanding,
Statutes unfair do never-rest,
 Simply leads to bareness far and wide;
Prisoner kept inside your encased wearied mask,
Do not accede to life’s ragged hand slaying your treasure,
Disrobe the mask you wear and sanctioned, 
Mark your love and tranquility for a time to come,
Allow your soul to breathe unleashed;
Why wear that mask you display?


Details | Rhyme | |

Just Go

You have to go
Just go
So I can let go

I’ve hugged you hard
Despite your guard
I’ve parked my sorrows
But wiped your tears
I’ve fallen right down to the ground
Yet offered to always hold your hand

For you I always did stand

You kept me near
But stayed far and clear
You brought me confusion
I held onto our illusion
You let me down
But your faith was my crown

Now it’s too late
Years of hard work washed by lies
See the quirk of fate
I miss you, sure I do
But you miss me more
I just can’t be there for you
Anymore

Can’t we meet half way?
No damn it
We can’t
You couldn’t even go a step with me
Now I choose to walk away

I will leave you 
I have no choice
I will forget you
Because I have to
I will forgive you
To start brand new

You have to go
Just go
So I can let go 



Details | I do not know? | |

I Wanna Go Home ( Tomorrow )

Declarations of Independence
Shadows of rock on roll
I want to go home
I wanna go home
I want to go home
Tomorrow
 
 
Exchanging love letters 
and dirty looks
I love you
and History books
I want to go home
I wanna go home
I want to go home
Tomorrow
 
 
Sell your soul
Save my skin
Rock and roll
and violins
I want to go home
I wanna go home
I want to go home
Tomorrow
 
Tell me lies 
and take them back
Hide and seek
and fade to black
Show me yours
I'll show you mine
How are you?
I'm doing fine
I want to go home
I wanna go home
I want to go home
Tomorrow
 
 
I'm still here standing still
Take the hill
It's time to kill
I want to go home 
I wanna go -


Details | I do not know? | |

Within Me


Within Me

Flowing through the rivulets of my everyday thoughts,
memories of you surface, gasping for air, breathing in,
permeating, absorbed by the pores of my ageing skin.

Famished, greedily gulping mouthfuls of fractured life,
awash in distant yesteryear, when your feathery kisses,
banished the vacuum, dispelling my anguish and strife.

You are eternally carved, and embroidered into my soul,
I wash ashore, smashing against the boulders of the now,
seeking solace, begging for absolution with my empty bowl.

The book of fate is sealed shut, the tea-leaves have been read,
nothing remains within me, the burden of smiling has been shed.

Now I am stranded, between dreams and the empty years ahead,
searching for forgiveness, in the miles I have yet to wearily tread.



Details | Free verse | |

Assisted Living

Life is down to no-frills necessities
in a room with the chest of drawers,
double bed and television.
The walker stands in the corner
waiting to be used to get to the dining room,
the social activity three times a day.
The nurse's aide, with her lilting Haitian accent,
comes around to check during the day:
time for meds, channel change? a walk
down the hall? a glass of juice?
You know that you mustn’t drive a car.
The house is gone, and so are its furnishings,
let's face it, life is over.
Grandchildren come to visit,
sighs of relief when it's over.
Dreams of the past when life was real
occupy time until dinner and bed.


Details | Blank verse | |

Orange

You laid low,
         and I watched,
You smoked a cigarette,
         and we talked
You asked me if i wanted to go with you,
          And i said 'yes' 
We new it was all through
          As we fell            

Down, down deeper 
          we lost ourselves 
No one else 
          could even touch
Wrapped up, intertwined
           We were hidden
Through our eyes, confessions 
             That was given

We talked often, no worries
           No end in sight
held hands, made love
            So into you
Until something went wrong,
           Silence came,
Air goes out; he goes in           
           Ceiling fell down

I remember you'd drive
         Drive anywhere for me
We'd go happy together
         Linked arms, held hands
But now it's different. 
        Out of our dream.
Forget about what was,
         And what is...               


Details | Lyric | |

Was it you


1st Verse:

Walk on by me if you see me
Let me pass just let me go
All those things we had between us
Just the past now says so

In the moment it was real
At the time we could stand still
For a love we thought would last
Never forgotten by the past

Bridge:

The love we thought could never die
Has evaporated to blue sky

Chorus:

Saw you today
Couldn’t believe
Was it you standing there
Did my eyes deceive?
Never thought I would wonder
Always thought I knew
But now I don’t know
Is it true?
Was it you?

2nd Verse:

Turn around walk the other way
Strangers is what we are
Knew each other inside and out
Now just a distant star

Time and space, left it behind
Gave our hearts to another kind
Tweaking dreams not breaking seams
Changing faces Wiping slates clean


Details | Free verse | |

The Past

I want to watch you bleed,
and I know you've thought of it too
I can feel the ache in your heart,
and the questions that stir inside
Like why should you still feel this way?
You have no reason
I can feel the knife twist in your ribs
Everytime you dig up your past
You do this to yourself time and time again
Every time,
and every time it's your fault
I know where you hide the blades
for moments like this
When you let it overflow
and overwhelm and consume you
He doesn't deserve you
You're damaged property
How could you think you'd ever be worthy of someone like him?
You don't even deserve to lick the scum off his shoes
You still mope about like a little *****
You cling to your past and let it define you
and you can't let go
like a little girl with her teddy
You let a monster define you
You let your past define you
You do this to yourself over and over again
Ripping open old scars
Adding new wounds
Because you won't leave the past where it's best left
Behind you
You won't leave your cocoon
Even though he's desperately trying to help pry you out
You won't let go
You'll let the past overtake and overwhelm you
You don't deserve a savior like him


Details | Blank verse | |

THE PLOP OF A FROG-COLORED-GRIEF

Everything is creased & kept
In right place & order
To avoid even a particle of dust.
But all worms
Are not devised to
Die before a naphthalene.
 
The dead narcissus,
The spittle of wind on windowpane,
The half-empty dish of rice
Beside the folded mattress
Make me return & recall
The days of nursery school,
The lesson of my favorite farmer.
His corns would come & store themselves magically !
 
Flying out of ancient hearth
Gods & dogs
Gift me
The vessel of ashes.


Details | Lyric | |

I wave goodbye

Did I lose my friend 
Before I even met him?
Written words no more
Tell the tales of yesterday.
How I remember the true smiles
Arising from a playful typed wink,
A list of favoured, a lyrical message
Mixed with counsel and dreams
Of future fights and triumphs.

How is it so easy to destroy
A connection so luminous
With misjudged feelings?
Potential for greatness and longevity
Now smashed with no chance of repair.
Foolish in our beliefs 
That friendship would triumph.
We now know that impossible,
So reluctantly I wave goodbye.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Autumn Leaves

Autumn leaves.
The ones that coloured my days golden, I long for them during the winter of my life.
I long for their warmth and how I long for their beauty.
Why have they left me?
I cannot bare the cold.

Numbed by the snow I gaze out into what is left of the seasons.
I cannot see clearly as nostalgia dances around me, twirling among the blinding shadows,
always just out of reach.
I can never hold her again.
She taunts me, but I can never hold her again.

My heart, my poor suffering heart.
There is no fixing this break, there is no going home again and there is no hope for
another Autumn.
I have come to the end of the road and there is nothing left but fields of white.
They beckon me.
I take a step and all at once a feeling of calm, complete calm, washes over me.
The world stands still, waiting for my descent.
I realize, then and there, this is the final chapter.
My last season, ending.
I take one last look at the dancer and dream one last dream of Autumn leaves.
My finale.
I am forever now, in the endless white.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Hurt That I Often Feel

Yesterday, I thought I seen the back of your head,
I felt my mind shook as I started to dread,
That you were there,
But then I realized,
It wasn't you.
As I left the airport,
I got into a truck, that was just like yours,
Then all my emotional sores started hurting again.

And later on, after seeing,
That the friend I wanted to have all to myself in high school,
Already had someone to be best friends with,
I held back my tears,
And fear that maybe I'll never recover
From these emotional issues that seem to go on forever.

And I feel like I can't keep myself together...
Especially when I see two siblings who love one another,
Wishing my siblings were close to my age,
Then I wouldn't have ever felt like I was in a lonely cage,
Envying those who get to have a younger sibling jump into their arms,
Whenever I see them at school...

She always felt like a little sister for me,
I want to protect her,
But nowadays, I don't like the way she is some times,
And I feel confused, and lonelier when I see that she
Likes her other friends more than me.
Yet again, more envy, 
And I feel guilty realizing it's wrong for me to be jealous
In friendship...

I'll make sure our friendship never ends,
But I know that my loneliness will never disappear,
And I will never be able to reappear,
In school with her again, it hurts,
Especially when I don't have someone to share the suffering
Of high school work and gym.
I still feel hurt and sad, everything in elementary,
That made me glad will be pushed away,

And I'll probably feel alone everyday...
Just like the old days, when I cried at night...
And my alarm clock was my nightlight...
Now I need Him, to keep me safe,
And be my light,
Because the hurt that I often feel
Is an inner fight for life!


Details | Lyric | |

Let Your Rains Fall Down

let your rains 
fall down
let your rains fall
let your tears run to the ocean
hold none of them tight within
let the earth send them far away
send them far away
far, far away
far away from here


© Christine A Kysely, All Rights Reserved
(November 10, 2011 Wausau, Wisconsin USA)


Details | Free verse | |

Long Distance

Jamie decides today will be the day 
we take off to Kansas. 
We've both dreamt of it, 
driving off to flat lands 
where we would be swept off, 
cackling, 
on our brooms to Oz. 

I laugh,
an unfunny laugh.
Chipped and cracked,
it tumbles
across the phone line. 

She laughs too,
an unfunny laugh,
and I stare at the phone 
my eyes shaking, 
clutching my life force 
of Camel Jade cigarettes. 
Dreaming suddenly of the Petroleum bridge 
because it is so black today 
and how I want to walk across 
in my addled bare feet 
like I did when we were seventeen 
and find her 
at end, 
long hair sardonically twirled around her
pinky finger
in the tattered red
sun stained flannel,
and her purple converse
tennis shoes.

She remarks 
that we wouldn't be able to reach off the 
ground anyway, 
as old and wide as we have gotten 
and that 
menthol cigarettes wouldn't 
probably be popular with 
midgets. 
And I agree with her, 
and laugh, 
and cry, 
and wonder 
what silver cylindrical dreams use 
when they move away 
a slow sail down the Allegheny 
a broken down old U-haul 
or perhaps, 
.........brooms and twisters 
farther than Kansas, farther than Oz. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Left in pieces

The broken pieces,
through which i see,
have the power,
to render me,
helpless to all,
invisible to you,
here i stay,
shattered anew,
this makes no sense,
what broken thing does?
treading carefully,
i'm shattered because,
i crossed a line,
made a mistake,
pain envelopes the pieces,
with each breath i take.


Details | Quatrain | |

Story of My Life

A tear fell today,
The first one in a while.
I had made a promise
To only think of us a smile.

I'd say I'm sorry,
And I won't do it again,
But I'm sure I'd be lying,
Because when I think I can't, I can.

I can still cry a little
And miss our happiness,
Especially on days or in moments
That are even close to this.

Every night I dream
Of when we'll be happy together
And every day I wake
To the reality that you want her.

You tell me everyday it's temporary.
You swear that it's all for the best,
But it hurts because I swear you're lying.
I think you are just like the rest.

I thought you were better than that.
Sometimes, I think I still do,
But then a day like today comes up.
Story of my life. It's nothing new.

You'd think I'd be used to it.
I'd adjust to ruining my own happiness,
But I honestly don't think I could ever.
I don't want to get used to this.


Details | Free verse | |

Spring Song

The ides of March have gone and come.
Still, strains of vernal music sound
dumb echoes, in my ears, of early times,
of other years: an orchestral swell
of oboe, flute, and violin.
A feel of warming wind,
the scents of orange blossom,
daisy, buttercup, and clover:
are those days over?

My recent times are flavored
with metallic clank, with oily odor --
eyes fatigued by newsprint
and small-screen glare.
And music: the blare
of claxon-horn and siren-wail;
noise which issues from a box
borne on shoulders through the street;
an empty, but compelling, quite insistent
loudly pulsing beat.

I welcome all new, though slight, intrusions.
Pale sensory perceptions bring back images,
now faint, once acute, of places, times,
and pleasures past.
Faded sights and faces
and shadowy, unquantifiable pursuits
evoke a time when love, like freedom,
didn't cost a dime.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Three

Like a magic lantern lit against the curtain
of my quivering eyes, I return to the night
when autumn was sweet to us, and shut out
the rising tide of winter so that we could pretend
we had fallen into a second spring,
where trees did not bloom but turned to fire
and the rains were gentle kisses from the sky
and we could see our breaths, but we never felt
we needed more protection than a jacket meant
for summer nights, and the occasional embrace
from someone who wanted you beside them.


Details | Free verse | |

I Pause,

Put down my pen, Sigh, Hold that tattered thought And render yet another verse useless. Yes, I do believe That I am painfully, woefully Inexplicably, Suddenly and most tearfully Out of words For you. How could I possibly find the words To justify this amount of pain? And who wants to bring justice To pain? It is quite the same thing as marrying Kindness to the thought of war. No matter how much you try, It cannot be done. So I try again. And this is about as much patchwork As it is poetry, And it works. Since the matrimony of you to my unforgivable Expansion of thought Leaves me weak, And lonely, And sad-- Already I find myself interrupted.


Details | Light Poetry | |

ADDICTED TO YOU by Collice Rodrigues

I wish to breathe my last breath in your arms

You’re the one to kill me with your charms

Everybody coaxed me to avoid you but no

You’re that someone who I just can’t let go

 

This world is cruel it has always made me cry

You take me to heaven and teach me to fly

You taught me how to deal with my pain

Without you barren would my life remain

 

You take me to a different world as I hallucinate

And all the pleasures of life you begin to recreate

I’m losing my senses someone tell me who am I

I know I need you but I don’t know why

 

Your absence makes me restless it’s you I need

I am an addict and you are marijuana my weed

I got addicted to you that I intentionally chose

Now that I’m addicted I don’t mind an overdose

 

-Collice Rodrigues

11/11/2010


Details | I do not know? | |

Bittersweet Wisdom

Death, in its unhurried wisdom,
ends all doubt and sorrow.
It is a lasting remedy for all
Illness, insecurity, and loneliness;
The finality of it ends all pain with
a sweetness not otherwise known.
Its sweetness is known only by those,
who in their passing have smelled its fragrance.
The pain of those left behind has a
fragrance all its own, a bittersweet
emanation that assails the senses with
its pungency. The strength of the void,
left by the passing of one loved,
seems endless. Time and faith,
working in unison, will lessen the
strength and fill the void.


Details | I do not know? | |

Ignorance Is not a friend

Adolescents gallivant the street in glee

they sing and shout enjoying freedom they never accounted for

knowing not the pain the ones before suffered so they may gain

Ignorant of the blood stained walls they pass as they happily walk

 

Their noise makes the streets come alive in the night

It disguises the cry of the meek to howls of joy

it silences the death rattle of the woman suffering at the hands of the beast for he still roams the streets

its tranquil in ignorance that covers the deceit of the man standing at the alter preaching

 

the one who hears the desires of the afflicted has gone to sleep

he sees us not for the fire that was once ablaze is extinguished

this treacherous sin is the wax that has covered the ears of the creator

darkness roams where light once was for evil prevails when the good cease to do good

 

behind closed doors his monstrous hands daily caress her body

everyone hears her cry yet hide behind their fingers and choose not to fight

a hero to many is a villain with no mercy

only the foreigner objects to this inhuman behavior

 

a heroine walks in to save the day for she is a purposeful trailblazer

a breath of fresh air that tangles the cobwebs that lay

troubles the stagnant waters that the nostalgic thought to be bliss

uncovers the hidden and frees her from captivating and enlightens the world on the wrong of the situation

 

A new generation rises to take their place

its a choice well all should make or drown on a trance to a dismal fate

its either we stare in ignorance or end the cycle of abuse

fight the scourge that has prevailed before

YOUTH WHERE ART THOU? THE TIME IS NOW! STAND UP AND FIGHT

Ignorance is not a friend!


Details | Free verse | |

if emotion had color

if what we do
if what we did
if our emotions 
had colors
that we could see
what color would we be
dark red with passion
bright red with love
black with anger
or a mixture of colors.
what color is your heart
is it perfect
for your body
or is it imperfect
for your soul.
if emotion
was colored
who would 
you be?


Details | Free verse | |

BENT SHATTERED AND PROUD

She doesn’t remember what
she loved about me
so i hold her in my elbows
as if she needed someone to save her
and i hate that i’ve always believed in
things i couldn’t touch

tree house ladder i climbed you
with the weight you swung into me
told the sky
glow heartbeat
glow strong
glow window pane
hold me tight with your seatbelt arms
i am hammock swing
stardust cough
xylophone fingers
bruise easy rock swing
the meaning of yes
the language of whales
she doesn’t remember what we felt like together
she pauses like maybe i won’t see myself in hers
bones i shift
and the city deserts me deep
and indigo sky knuckle down nosebleed
i resorted to creating new memories with you
by looking at old photographs
and pretending i had been in them
glove compartment hawk heart i pulled
sky captain kite punch like
you name me adventure
name me skip trunk keys scrape
name me stranger
like elevator kiss
like storm clouds
like hummingbird heartbeat
i said i like who i am as a person
and you pulled away
as if my skeleton wasn’t big enough to hold both of us
you wore apple core lips
like i should never be sad
that i spent all this time kissing someone who
didn’t want to be kissing me
as if i tasted like relief
like you wanted to cut me into your esophagus
and hush
like quiet city
like loves becoming a plea bargain
like spit me out as a watermelon seed
you say lets get married and name all of our children ribcage
i pull through her thumb locked
and aware of all the times she said apologizing would
just sound empty
and i whisper i hope if i’m getting old
it’s because you make time nonexistent
do not cantaloupe smile
do not flashlight heart
do not risk what you cannot promise on me
do not wear me like we are the same size
i’m building life with slice wounds on the bottom of me feet
deep enough to hide hopes in
so i can wear them into the ground
how to reach from my heart
so you don’t apple adam promises that
sound like
i never lied to you
i want you to teach me
to glow heartbeat
glow strong
glow windowpane
with blood in your
mouth like you thought climbing trees
could teach us to fight distance
remember to hold me
like you know how to shake
remember to keep everything at arms length
remember to palm scoop crayfish
remember to break me
like you know what you cared for about me
these are my confessions on a street corner
bent shattered and proud
I promise to never use words like always 
refer to you and I in the future tense 
or reveal wishes before they come true 
because every person I’ve ever loved 
has said I was the best thing 
that ever happened to them when they left me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Time Heals Nothing

Hole in my chest,
slow sweet burn,
have I become a masochist,
even with the lesson I've learned?
the scares I bare,
remind me now,
of times I've loved,
now that I've forgotten how,
time heals nothing,
but makes us numb,
to the pain,
to which our hearts will succumb,
yearning for,
a time now gone,
you moved on,
lines are drawn,
yet you still smile at me,
that adorable smirk,
you bring forth,
those feelings that lurk,
those feelings I hate,
for there will never be,
a happy ending,
for you and me..



What do you do when something you feel never really goes away, yet there's no point in those feelings because they'll never go anywhere??


Details | Free verse | |

Resting place of Mary Jane

Mary Jane was barely sixteen
When they locked her away
For talking very strangely
They readily declared that
she had lost her mind
This so called safe keeping place
Turned into her secret grave
Ninety seven years ago
This sad tale played out
Yet this sixteen year old child
still sadly roams in this place
This dark dreaded asylum
still hears her wailing voice
In the silence of the night
You might still catch her sight
Moving from room to room
Lost in an asylum of
Quantum and space


 Nalanti Goosen©2012 
 All rights reserved


Details | Lyric | |

I Gave You Right Back

I remember when you gave yourself to me,
But I gave you right back.
Because I couldn’t stop hurting you,
And I hated doing that.
I can’t be selfish as I wanna be,
and much as I need your touch.
I can’t have that follow me.
Enough just might be enough.

But love comes all the way back around,
I didn’t know you then and I don’t know you now.

Hearts beat,
Trust me,
I asked mine to stop beating aloud.
Tears are dreams,
That have to flee,
Cause they’d been cast out. 
And smiles speak,
Yours talks to me,
But I replied with a frown.
Cause I can’t keep this up,
Enough is now enough.
Don’t look for me I’m gone now.


Details | Free verse | |

Sugar Sick Sweet Lullabies

I had this dream last night and it was perfect 
It was everything I wanted my life to seem
So when I opened my eyes to this bright sunlight
I realized some things weren't the way that they should be

I put my feet into my shoes, which are old and dusty and 
I don't remember when they were ever clean
I ran around my town asking people for my purpose
And none of their answers seemed to fit alright

Come keep me at bay
Cause the world's spitting us all out one by one
And we've all sinned enough to know that we're gonna die someday

I've tried to be myself but I'm running low on health
To fight all those who tell me to be a certain way
Though I don't cry out my eyes every time that a stitch undoes itself
Cause nobody's gonna save you when can save yourself, darling

Even at a quarter after noon mothers are singing their babies 
Sugar sick sweet lullabies that I know all too well
Haven't you ever noticed the way that their voices crack 
When the child forgets the words and the tune stays with them alone?

Come keep me at bay
Cause the world's spitting us all out one by one
And we've all sinned enough to know that we're gonna die someday


Details | Free verse | |

I'LL SMILE 4 U

Stroll through the Illest Empire
So much heat feeling like we’re living in the fire
But we’re living under fire
Tell me how many shots must it take before my loved ones are crying at my own wake
Its time for a break from sad eyes I’ve seen grown men cry
It hurts to tell a loved one good-bye
It’s the same reason why they died
Hearts just too full of pride
Mothers praying their young’n wont be a victim of a homicide
Too many drive-bys blood shed for a block you really can’t call mine
Wishing we could turn back time
High off of nickels’ and dimes
Making moves to boost your grind looking for hope
But the hustle got us in a head choke
Don’t blame me for acting crazy cause this how the streets made me and you
To watch our back and throw bows and cuss
Cause you got to be tough when times are rough
I know your asking when will enough be enough
And truth is I don’t know but this is how it goes down
But if I make it out will you smile for me now

So many families struggling with poverty
I don’t judge cause that use to be me
Watching mom come home late
Barley any food on our plate
So young and life we already hate
Praying God bring us something great
My clothes were cheap imitates and kids called you on them for being fake
Knowing mom bust her ass to provide
But all your knock offs you begin to hide
Ashamed of what you own
I know how you feel I been there too
I see mothers walking there kids to school
And the walk is far when you cant afford a car
Mom hoping one day you’ll be a star
I know about being next to poor
Your local neighborhood liquor market is your grocery store
Wishing you didn’t have to go through that living off of food stamps
Cube the neighborhood is a trap but we’ll all be free
So smile for you and me

Even 2pac said smile for me
This isn’t how its always going to be unless you let it be
In our different way we’re all a G
Cause we’re trying to make it straight legit
Whatever your hustle never quit but don’t lose yourself in it
Cause you still got a long ways to go
Still got a long time to grow
Use what you know to get by or you wont survive
Remember to always keep your dreams alive
Whatever it is just do it and never try
The limit is the sky so keep your heads held high
And when you come to a hard road just always know nothing can keep you down
You’ll be able to come back around
So give yourself a chance
And I’ll smile for you now

JUNE ‘06
B.K.M.jr


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Lost

I once knew a boy,
without guile and innocent.
We milked the cow
 and goats together,
and as we worked,
we made up stories
of the secret life
of the cow,
and how
she was a sort of
super hero,
a bovine 007,
world traveler,
when we weren't
watching her.
Then one day,
the boy disappeared.
Perhaps,
some synapse
short circuited,
or some
unspoken incident.
Some one else
was in his place.
Abducted, possessed?
I never saw the boy
again.


Details | Imagism | |

@#**!MANIAC@#***!!!

I came face to face with a basket case
and yet stayed in place despite wanting to step back a pace.
His eyes glowed with a blue as cold as ice
and i did not move for fear of the price.
I stood my ground not making a sound
 as he did the same not looking around only staring me down.
So i spoke,comming to a choke
and as silence was broke his lips mocked mine as to joke.
No more i stated as i assesed and contemplaited,
nor did he as he patiently waited.
Deciding this was a test,one to be graded,
i set to do my best or leave more jaded.

      (so i spoke yet again to my odd but familiar friend)
 I don't know what your problem might be
as you stand there and stare.
 Trying to look so frightening,
i hope you're aware that i am not scared.
      (His lips yet again repeated the god awful sin)

He mocked sankronizingly every word i had said.
I shouted,don't patronize me and don't try to get in my head!
Yet once again,he mouthed what i had sang.
I sprang with a blow that landed in a bang.
I began to weep at what i discovered through my tears,
for the blood of my knuckles covered a broken mirror.


Details | I do not know? | |

Port of Call

Port of Call


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

with the breath of the ocean a caressing balm,
soothing pained memories away,
to the swaying of a solitary palm.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

feeling the brushing away of all past turmoil,
on a quest for solace, ever so hard to find,
yet comforted by the crashing of the waves,
as the tide cleanses all pain,
and leaves despair far, far behind.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

drenched in a sea-breeze of mist,
that hushes the ache of bygone moons,
tasting the salty tang on my lips,
as the burnished sun,
over the distant horizon,
swoons,

and dips.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

searching, ever searching,
for a slice of solitude,
as memory bids a final adieu,
reaching under the sea so vast,
and seeking comfort in the depths,
while embracing,
the tomorrows to come,
wishing that they be true.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

seeing my truths drown,
as they slip beneath the turquoise waters,

feeling my heart ablaze,
with a passion that rarely falters.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

yet knowing that I am home at long last,
wishing the waves would wash away,
the defences that once stood,
like an impregnable wall.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

I have found, at long last,

my final port of call.


Details | ABC | |

when a woman leaves a girl

after all,a woman's mistakes are different from a girl's
they are etched by fire on stone
they are in fact considered traits, not just errors
and now you're so alone
when you were 14 they all said how much potential you had
now you hit 19 or 20, and you're just considered bad
if you were a troubled kid, things were different than most for you
and i don't mean GETTING in trouble,although for some,it's that too
but depression is so very real,they just have no idea
and looking in the mirror to feel,you must skip your next meal
you are never good enough,and always fall just short of pretty
although you are considered smart and extremley funny and witty
they way that you percieve yourself,is different than what others see
at least that's what i have been told,do you agree with me?
but why is it that when your younger,people just want to help
but once you reach 19 or 20,your just dealt the cards your dealt
i don't feel any different inside,i can tell you that for certian
the older i get,the less they care,i hide behind a curtain
i'm still a kid at 21,at 22 as well..
im still a child in alot of ways,living in an emotional hell
where did all the helping hands go,the ones that were there before
i blame myself for not taking that help and will forever more
because now apparently,it's too late,nobody cares about me
i am not a cute little girl,just a woman who needs to be free
i ask of you,human to human,the next time you want to judge
pray for patience if you need to,ask for help from above
but something tells me im not alone,there are others who experienced this
there are others out there that need help so badly,please don't miss
don't miss their smiles,that are still so young,even though they look so grown
at 21 we are not adults,and pretending we are makes us feel alone
maybe i AM alone in this feeling,i have no idea
but what i do know,for sure i feel...this is very real.


Details | Blank verse | |

Self

I look at her and weep.
She didn't know the pain ahead
and I do, but can say nothing.
Her happiness is fragile and fleeting,
her hope resting in it completely.
Oh, how she will break soon.
her sun extinguished and dead.
And so I wonder at the one
who looks at me right now.
She knows my future and
knows if my new hope will die,
just like the one I look at.
Will I break again one day?


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Reality

perfection, who would have thought him perfect?
without his words, i know no other truth
reality,
the mother of my existence, you gave birth to twins
euphoria and agony,
oh agony!
reality,
i ask for only a moment to bury myself inside
his soul, his mind, I want to be with it, of it
i need to breathe him, fill my lungs with love,
with life,
why can't I?
REALITY!
oh to cast you back to the depths of hell, demon!
to come into a life, just to taunt...
there is no hatred so pure, as the one i hold for you
for you today,
reality,
you have taken away my heart,
that was your wicked plan all along
was it not?
well,
reality,
without him,  I have nothing left to lose,
no sanity left to keep me afloat
so,
reality,
today you have been defeated
i have always held the key
it's almost tragic, oh
reality,
do you realize you cannot exist
without me?
so say your prayers,
as this war comes to a bloody end
we were both martyrs for the same cause-
reality.


Details | Free verse | |

dead within a shell of my former self.

I cry and so she does as well
Hold back, but myself is shown
Gain your composure as you 
Shatter into fragments of your former self
But still hold yourself together as your
Not worth the effort to strive for
Worthless in a sense
As she cries in the arms of one she
Calls friend, when she speaks of the
Events, which have unfolded 
Your name is never mentioned
When you cry on shattered dreams
She has no remorse as she crawls into
His arms
But why
why must I care so much
but apparently not enough
I forced her to cry and
I am damned for it
behold my weeping sorrow
as she ignores me
and so heartache becomes known
but I put forth the effort 
effort to accompany her
to comfort her
and all that is returned are false smiles
and wishful thinking on my behalf
why hope for something that is never
why strive for tomorrow when today is nonexistent
slit and the scars become memories
a first instance of death within my eyes as
the blade draws near to my flesh
manipulating my mental image of perfection
as drunken fights become
my only shelter, 
I am not myself now
will I ever be the same again
things have changed
I am far beyond help as I draw closer
to the abyss which I know as death
find something to protect my life
as I  stumble into time as nothing more
than a guy who once cared too deeply
and now nothing exists
numb and cold
numb and dead
why must everything suddenly loose
its ambience...
...why must she not see past
former relations and realize
I AM REAL!


Details | Rhyme | |

Roots

Lines are drawn at birth
Genetics deciding our worth,
Lead along by the media on a stick
Truth burns thin, reaching the bottom of the candle wick

Born alone
Into this body I own, 
Stepping face first into the unknown,
Naïve and panic prone.

Mother tried to raise me right,
Taught me how to swallow my pride; to be polite.
That the world’s a dark place when someone shuts off the lights,
She says everything will be alright, then cries herself to sleep every night.

Never owned anything I didn’t have to take
Stealing, manipulating, and lying for my own sake,
I’ve made a few haunting mistakes;
Some holding me down like ten ton shoes, anchored breathless at the bottom of the lake.

Father showed me how to be a man,
That there is not a single problem that can’t be outran
Yet sooner or later we all face the hangman,
Fleeing our problems only leads us back where we began.

Gone are the days of simplicity,
A foggy memory,
Head in the clouds
Lost in nostalgic sounds.

Introspecting what I’ve become
Drifting through the days as they come,
The deadline for adulthood arrives too early;
The death of my imagination surely.


Details | Rhyme | |

All of This Education and No Summer Vacation

All of this education
And yet no real
Summer vacation.
I recall all of my
K-12 years 
9-12 especially
That was the essay
Question that I often
Hated. Where did you
Go this summer?
I didn't leave Monroe.
Hearing that question
Over and over again
Each year filled my heart
With drear and tears 
Wanted to fall
But I had to be tough
Hold those tears up
Build my imagination
And lie about the places
That I wanted to see
Across the nation.
I write I went from
Sea to shining sea
To see historical beauty
Of Washington, D.C.
To view the presidential 
Library of JFK in Boston,
Massachussetts,
I was truthfully speaking
When I was in downtown
New Orleans eating po-boys
And tasting bananas foster.
I went back to a lie
To the city of brotherly love,
Philadelphia,
Named by one of my favorite
Scientific statesmen,
Ben Franklin.
I want to travel past
The southern region
From the East coast
To the West coast 
For real instead of 
Telling a story.
I've worked hard
To gain an education
I want to travel the
Nation on a summer vacation.
I will say today that
I have all this education
and no summmer vaction
I want it to change
Starting this year.
My traveling from
Sea to shining 
Sea is near.

wrote 11-13-10


Details | Free verse | |

Liquor Luster

Suctioned palms engulf my 
glass
Heckled so we threw it back
Ribs transcend and held it in
A single tear drips down your 
nose
Perfect finger held it froze 
Gaze off through your frosted 
pose 


Details | I do not know? | |

For Bob Dylan

Ramblin' Bob Dylan Blues
(For Bob Dylan)



Why does the sun dry up so many scattered tears

slipping down the coarse cheek of a million hushed fears

where no one is scalded though the searing fog clears

while prayers are mutely spoken even as the end nears

We shatter and scrape on demented knees

Blindly begging for mercy as it silently flees

Searching listlessly for salvation drowned in the breeze

That spits at the soft rose suffocated by a wheeze


I know now what I need never have known

Of hope that was trampled before it had flown

Into a wasted sky filled with hate that could drown

The giggling of the crowd and the crying of the clown


A hope so fragile that its wings were of brittle glass

Ripping the veneer off the sewers of class

Twisting the fabric of the weighed and costed mass

Who numbly waited hoping that it too may pass


For when shards of that hope in all hearts scurries away

To a darkness where crowded night is emptied off the heaving tray

'Tis then when sewn eyes shall behold that doleful day

When all shall tear at each other while on demented knees we still shall pray


For a lifting of the veil of that wilful deceit

That's wrapped up in a flag swollen with conceit

While the limbs splinter in the claw of a winner's defeat

Yet still the drums roll for the ill-fated souls chose never to retreat


From that drenched battle-ground where blood flows through a sieve

And love's lost song plaintively begs for a reprieve

From eternal loss which into raw emotion does cleave

Only to slip through the fingers and like grains of sand, leave.


Details | Free verse | |

Faith Healer

The odor is intolerable
Like a foul beast clinging to the end 
I can barely subdue its subterfuge 
But here I am, 
I’m standing here of sound and mind
Waiting for the time that answers my own questions

Can it race with the fires of Orc?
Doubtful, but it can jog steadily can’t it?
The weather is awful, filled with sounds
Penetrating a document not written
It pains me to fight through the night
Not because it’s dark, but because I am just a shadow.

Lester drives but
Motional lasts forever
Still driving
Still crying
And slowly dying as time waves on
Like oceans that can’t be seen.

Nobody cares and everyone listens
Ironic, like a bible that holds lies and deception
Can its will be pierced?
Can freedom stay free?
Is it worth it to stay hooked when everyone around
Seeks liberty?


Details | Verse | |

mental confinement

this house is a prison 
these windows are taunting 
this weight on my shoulders is daunting 
my voice inside my head is haunting 
memories leave tears on my face
tears start to burn and leave blood in their trace
im isolated in deep space
solitary confinement 
deep sorrowful assignment 
the stars are in allignment 
my world is coming to an end thats what the peace sign ment
heaven sent, me hell, world upside down call it hell bent
half my heart is left, the other paid rent
i have half a heart but im completly broken, take a hint
one way street no reason to resent 
choises made, makes my brain fade 
heading to your heart, call it a crusade 
my love is broken, hell made
took every single wrong road, ... well played
epic fail, blood red is the best shade
through the light and through the dark
blood red will always make its mark 
love the pain and hate the pleasure 
nonconformality at its greatest measure 
love is lost and found like great treasure 
trust turns to tradgedty 
lies are truely ravishing 
my heart is cold and wandering, the walking dead emotionless traveling 
chilling ice adorning my flesh is lavishing 
in a strange twist of fate my mind bears my captivity 
trapped inside my thoughts from which i cannot escape, stranger thoughts than activity
forever fading my sanity
at the sacrafice of my vanity 
my last resort, to escape has been taken from me
this prison is maximum security 
love is lost, friends betrayed 
family estranged 
adrinaline caged
adhd enraged 
locked up tight 
strait jacket restricted helplessly bound try as i might
blind folds corrode my sight 
exiled and exausted drawn out distressed vigil put to the test 
sick to my stomach and too tired to rest
i sit in my cell, of isolation 
my mind is cramped of desolation
these words are a demonstration 
as a last resort, to far gone to ever undergo restoration 
i lay solemnly suffering from loss of articulation.


Details | Free verse | |

The lighthouse

We sit here.
silent sentinels of the sea
gazing at the cruelties
in that the sailors frolic
We were just like them
Till they took us away
into the depths so blue
And now so are we.
Why do they lash us
upon the rocks
eternally.
Overpowering surf
strangled our throats
as we breathed the sky.
we struggled
like fish on a line
till we were
still,
like lifeless anchors.
Revelers in our misery
trapped like weeds
entwining a soulless wreck
no one visits
us in this prison
As lonely as the lighthouse
we haunt.



Details | Light Poetry | |

Why?

Why is this feeling happening to me?
Why am i feeling sad,
When I should be feeling glad?

Why do I feel abandoned by the people I know?
My friends,
My family,
The ones I love?

I know they care,
Or at least they say they do.
So why do I feel this way?
Devoured in sadness, like the ocean's blue?

Why is this emotion killing me?
Why can't I find my way out?
Out of the darkness, and into the light?
I need light in my life.

So why do I feel this way,
The way that I do?
I miss that one special person,
The one that I would say to "I love you".


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Busy in my SOLITUDE

Taking a deep breath ..... i looked around....
There is a golden boundary... with lots of sound....

Why are they yelling.... I asked my self....
They need you ... what my heart compels....

Looking at them by clearing my eyes ...
I found they are the one's i needed once i realize...

For what they turned up i wonder....
Now i am obsessed i surrender...

when i needed them ....they were busy...
least bothered and had there own priorities..

Now when i learnt to be obsessed....
                           You call it an attitude....
please leave me alone ...
                           I am too busy in my solitude....


Details | Free verse | |

Through the Looking Glass

I peer through the glass 
and see all the moments in the past.
Looking back on what could have been.
I try to imagine and pretend.
So young and unaware of lifes outcomes.
To be happy and without worries.
To be unchanged by the choices we make.
If only I knew which road to take.
Which road would have led to success and happiness?


Details | Free verse | |

Web wise

Web wise

The fear drops from its light brown wings; 
this is not home; at least not for a bird. 
Little sparrow flaps its wings in madness; 
flaps them so hard. Living room, staircase,
it is humming past your mute chair.
But how can you help, you cannot locate 
your own way out of this golden web. 

=© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar 


Details | Free verse | |

Today, I miss you

Watching the people walking around
Counting their steps a hundred times
Here I am on a crowded street
Beyond the door of that high way
Searching for your smile
That I could not find
Today, I miss you
Just like what my heart says

Watching the traffic lights
And time stood still
Like dreaming of you a thousand times
Suddenly I do not hear a sound, 
Only your name
I have frozen on a breeze of summer
Today, I miss you
That there is something missing

Walking on a windy park
Watching clouds climbing on a rainbow
And I am still waiting on a dust of memories
That I picture only on my mind
Today, I miss you
No words could I ever say
I need your smile that warm so bright
That I often see in my dreams

Today, I miss you
Like a music that sounds so sweet
But the song is incomplete something is missing
Maybe tunes yes its true
Notes and I guess are you?
You are the one that I’ am singing about.
You complete me 
Like words and melody

I want to tell the things I have seen
I want to take you where I have been
The summer, the sky a wonderful day
And I wish you here with me
This time say that you will be mine
Today, I miss you
I really miss you, yes I do


Details | Tanka | |

My Bird Linda

When I was a teen
I caught a chick of a bird
And named it Linda
One day my elder sister
Killed it accidentally!


Details | Rhyme | |

Rolling Back To Moss

It is a peculiarity of Love’s mossy light
that once, hapless rocks drowning in their days
would be overthrown by Love’s destructive plight
and smooth-whiskered words its song to soothe
in the belly of the whale its secrets brew.

In the aftermath of glow the pilgrims kneel
counting the bars of its serenading calm
as fire, trapped by beauty, mistakes its zeal
for something more than willing victims choose
and fans condemn themselves to breeze.

It’s nothing, but its something, and tired hope
endures, cradling every Cupid with a wish.
The vapours thin exposing every dusty mote
and pretend or not, all hearts will sometimes need
the mercy of their first and final love, never dimmed.

A visit, spectral angels cavaliering through the night
bringing blessings not condemned to wane,
flowers falling in love with their own petalled sight
bearing fragrance not descriptive like a name,
all that’s true would only call itself “Increase”.

The spring is fine as nectar to the flower brings
though all condensed and jealous of the Fall,
epic time is taken so all Eternity can sing
and clip the butterfly into shapes more lovely -
what delicate work! When love begins it’s sigh

far from where it once stood burning, a lush
constraint remains where freedom’s glove is lost
walking down its harbour, past the moveless thrush
and the crow all dead from drought, the rain will cease
and Love will change to tear, rolling back to moss.

The painter wild, the poet crazed all beyond his grasp,
what jealous combination, what charisma!
That together in a different stage marriage would outlast
the spikes and needles of despairing dim machinery
driving metal into hearts of soft enigma.

Seasons turn and all that makes us sober stays
safely tucked inside Betrayal’s chamber;
Reason roots itself in the soil of Love’s eternal fun.
Its sharp and pearly fingers, shaded from all danger,
can grant us mooned medallions to reflect the Sun.

The devil goes, the angel stays around in secret
ringed in haloed words of beauty’s whispered tale.
The two, not permitted by circumstantial thrall
to enter communion’s sweet redeeming place…. 
Love supports itself to fail, just to rise above it all.

Copyright. 2009. JLM.


Details | Free verse | |

You Would Laugh But, I Hope You Read This

I can’t count the wrongs I’ve committed
The people I’ve hurt
The friends I’ve lost, but, the hardest part was losing 
You 
The only one I could see myself with
Even now 
Especially since you’re gone

Oscar Wilde once said “You will understand”
..I will never understand how proud I was
Proud enough to almost die and lose you
Proud enough to realize I had not beat Depression
Proud enough to let myself be
My own worst enemy. 

I messed up so much
I’m a changed woman now and you are truly 
All
That 
Is 
Missing
From my life

Love is supposed to make you better
Not kill you
Love didn’t make me better
Because of love, 
I almost died
 
I dare you to love me again, 
I dare you to accept me for who I am now,
Despite your flaws, I still loved you,
Maybe I was somewhat obsessed. 
You don’t know how much I’ve changed,
How sorry I am for stressing you out, 
Hurting you and myself,
I’m a different woman. 

My skin is stained with your scent,
Stained with the way your luscious, soft lips felt,
I tried to let someone else touch me the way you did,
I couldn’t be that happy again. 
Believe me when I say I tried too hard to be perfect,
I tried too painfully hard to make you want me,
Why didn’t you just tell me you loved me as I was? 

Now, although healed,
Through therapy and medicine,
You infiltrate every thought, action, and word that leaves my lips. 
No matter how hard,
Or how much I want to,
You made me happier than anyone and anything ever could. 

I don’t think you have ever sobbed after reading a beautiful piece of poetry,
I wanted you to be sentimental,
I was ridiculous, 
I drove you away. 

You went from someone who surprised me to the 
Night that terrorizes me and reminds me
The ghost that haunts me
Every single inch of me
That you have seen and used to enjoy
Every inch that I wish you would enjoy again
That I crave for you to enjoy again. 

If you knew I wrote this,
I know that you would laugh at me
You would think I was the biggest idiot
But, you ignore me now
It’s how you cope
So, do I really have anything to lose?

If you would let me, 
I would show you the real me
In nine months, 
You never got to see 
Me.
I haven’t seen the real me in six years.
This is the first time.
Please,
Let me love you,
And try to love me. 

If years go by and one day you ask me if this is about you,
That is one thing I will deny,
So you don't judge me.
I will say it was about the one after you,
Not you. 
Never you. 


Details | Triolet | |

A song to the Night

(Triolet)
~Tribute to “Hymn to the Night” By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow~ 


He heard sounds of sorrow and delight.
Swept from marble vestments of halls. 
Felt her presence compelled the light. 
He heard sounds of sorrow and delight. 
Spelt  at her feet old'n rhymes so bright. 
And layer'd stars pieced her celestial walls.
He heard sounds of sorrow and delight. 
Swept from marble vestments of halls. 


Details | Free verse | |

Forest of Fields

Dodging Whispering shadows,
meeting golden eyes
peering from the hallows.
Dancing with the late birds cry.
Jumping from star to star,
relishing the untainted light.
Wading in the fields, ceaseless so far.
Creasing with the moon out of sight,
casting a graceful light.
A sad tune whispers on the wind,
from a forest of fields.
How far will you go for that sad tune?
Speaking of a broken heart dreadfully sinned,
of a lesson learned much too soon.
Turn back child of innocence!
Turn back to the fields of sleep,
away from the forest of tears
shattered with cracks so deep.
Run from that sad tune!
Bound to your future of mirrors,
shield your heart,
small child,
from the fruit of the forest of fields
that ripen with the slaughter of innocence!
Before your heart has a chance
to crack, to break
echoing in the lonely silence of the forest of fields.


Details | Verse | |

Once We Were

Collect my thoughts and scatter them,
With wild and unleashed abandon.
Close your eyes and embrace the dark,
See many a thought at random.

Picture green lush countryside,
Try to imagine autumn’s hue.
From sun shine to a rainy day,
From cloudy skies to blue.

Where waterfalls run their path,
Through fields with trees of gold.
Ponies graze contentedly,
They grace our land of old.

From village church where clock's chime,
To sheep grazing upon lush countryside.
The busy bustling London streets,
Breathtaking mountains that many climb.

Alas fading now is this beauty,
Whilst passing into the new.
New laws are made each passing day,
Regardless of our point of view.

Our backs are lashed with costly whips,
The more we work, the more we pay.
Baring the scars for listening,
To the spineless deciders of today.

Remember once beauty our land didst hold,
To all hearts dear and true.
Its sinking into fears dark depths,
And there’s nothing we can do.

Forgetting are we of what makes sense,
Of who we are and what is right.
Where freedom of choice is gradually wiped out,
Our identity torn asunder, loosing sight.

We’ve welcomed in so many,
We’re splitting at the seams.
Conformed to foreign laws,
And changed our ways it seems.

To sit back and see our leaders,
Turn us into something that we’re not.
It’s sad to see what makes us who we are,
Turn into something so easily forgot.

Were once our rights took precedence,
Now cast aside to form a queue.
How sad the fear that motivates,
Those who decide, and who pays..Me and you!

And what of us insignificants?
The workers who pay for their clothes. 
Who feed them and keep their wallets fat,
Who down the river they have sold?

And at night when dreams come to them,
Never will they have the privilege to view..
A picturesque proud and calm country,
Stolen from all of us, because we let you!

Oh once great nation, so proud and true,
Once we were united.
Through draining choice we have lost sight
Not believing, forgetting what right is.

We still have belief in our lands beauty,
We have deep rooted loyalty inside.
To see plainly and clearly see what is right,
So our identity and Britain can survive.

©.L.Kelly


Details | Free verse | |

Deliquesce

I gaze over landscapes, whitewashed in the moonlight
with bittersweet etchings
only pale sketches, of what has been left behind 
Distorting places I once knew, under a veil of haze, that swallows time

I can't distinguish what is myth, or glazed over in my mind
Where the ink, has been left bereft, has bleached away, and taken verse and rhyme

I know the moon is high, somewhere, 
caught in the winter's snow of sleep
bemused that the clouds are obscuring the light, 
It flickers dim, bleaching the night, until all the words are gone

The sound is mute, the color lost, and cannot stay around
It fades away, in shades of gray, like words to all your songs
Words once known,  like the back of my hands
....lost in the timeless winds

I can't recall, I can't rewind,  the lyrics known so well
I stretch my neck, and try to hear where all the moonlit songs begin

They disappear, and things we love, are bleached until they're pale
With stars that spin, a picture dims, too thin to be recalled
Too much to ask?....... I'm asking why.....It's me who needs to know...

Will you know me?     Will I know you?....

......if we should meet again?



__________________________________________________
5/29/14
For the Contest "Debussy Inspired"
Sponsored by Craig Cornish


Details | Free verse | |

raspberry blood

her hands: blooming. sugar, hot
and humming. those wrists, sweet,
no longer sticky. yet stubborn,
reigning the laughter of two years ago.

her lips: fruit. ripe, or rotten, you
no longer remember. still, they remind you.
sin is where your body overruns your soul.
let nature trespass you once in a while.

all she wanted, to be left alone
with sky and sea. something you,
not even you, could give her. life
began to leak away in her voice,

“if the world does not stop, darling,
i just might.” and you could taste
the blood in her sigh, all those
leftovers from two years ago.

her body: gardens. the former home
of such a lovely pulse. you liked to visit
her a lot. she was once a prison of colour
in your foggy seaside town.

but the air that day: salty. streetcars unfolded
in faces you did not know. you felt the world in
past tense. “it is not only the city you have left
behind.” and your message did not reach her. 


Details | Epic | |

Living Her Life

She sees the pains,
Which her native folk have gained.
She changed from a little girl
To someone who has always had the potential
To change her own little personal inner world.
As a child she never went through
What some other children of her people
Had went through themselves.

She used to never knew how the roots
Of all her people’s issues
Were and are so controversial.
Blessed was she, as a very young child,
For not knowing fully all the reasons why.

Blessed that she is and will always be
Full of feeling, and always quietly wondering “Why?”, 
Now she is filled with new knowledge and a developing sense of wisdom 
Within her own individual mind.
She is now what she had always
Envisioned and imagined before, since her elementary days.
She is (“I am...”) not entirely that same little girl anymore.
She is now one of the many of that particular kind.

Within her imagination is a longed 
Wanting of finally revealing 
The truths she has discovered and
How her people must change for the better.
Throughout her whole life, which she’s lived through so far,
She maintains a heart filled with feelings, 
A mind filled with knowledge
And a slight emotional immaturity as representation
That her inner child self is still alive on the inside.

Her inner and past child self (who was different from all the rest,
But was also similar to them when at their best).
Never truly knew how far she’d come in life.
(As of right now and forever into the future)
How she has grown and maintained herself
Is how she had made that (her) inner voice in her head and 
Had also long ago already acknowledged her true self.

She still stands in her own believing faith and faith in herself
And her lack of prejudice is what makes her naive thinking
Make her own days in her life far brighter than what others say
As they discourage her from doing 
Or trying to pursue something grand and part of a divine plan.
Even after times and tribulations involving doubting tremble.

Blessed she is for being so whole in her own presumed thoughts,
Blessed she is for logical thinking based on emotion and feelings.
Blessed she will always be, for Christ himself said to a woman
(who was suffering from something for more than 12 years), 
“Your faith is what made you whole.”
Now she thinks...
“Grateful and blessed I am, to the point of tears of joy and sorrow of how I used to doubt.
I now forever know what my life will be like beyond tomorrow.”


Details | I do not know? | |

The Sandman

It's the sandman now
Who brings me the dreams
Full of imagery
Full of memories
Full of you

It's the sandman now
Who helps me to remember
All of the beautiful things
All of the beauty
All of the beauty that was you

It's the sandman now
Who never lets me down
Always bringing passion
Always bringing happiness
Always bringing love since you're not around

It's the sandman now
Who always brings me hope
Never to disappoint
Never to fail
Never to stop dreaming


Details | Alliteration | |

Empty Jars

Empty things-

Empty rooms-filled with things-
Empty vases-empty jars
Empty seats-
Cupboards that are bare-

Corridors-in my mind-
Long and narrow-alone I stare-
Vacant land -
You once – were there!  

17/11/92    


Details | Couplet | |

perfect create


Life isn’t always really great,
It very much depends on your fate,

Many-a-times you want to dictate 
But, you are not even in a position to state,

You want your issues to abate,
Whereas they amplify at an alarming rate,

Often, good things happen quite late,
You expect them to occur at a particular time but they spring on some other date,

What you can do is just wait,
For opportunities to knock your gate,

You may never know 
Who is going to be your mate,

You ought to be loved 
But you still are a recipient of hate,

You wish your woes to deflate,

You feel nostalgic memorizing the blissful moments 
Which facilitate you update,

And your life to completely translate,

That results in producing
A magnificent individual-  “A perfect Create”!!


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Stitched Skin

Should I begin with 
“I’m sorry”?
I’m sorry.
I’m really so very sorry.

I pleaded with you 
to put your wrists in harm’s way.
On the line.

And then I forgot to hold mine out
for more than a moment 
after you joined me.

I was ready…

…but then you weren’t.

Now you are, and you wait.
And all I can say is 
“I’m sorry.”
So very sorry. 

I realize I have hurt you
I have hurt you
hurt you
you…

Hurt you.

And I lived for you
sometime ago.

Hurt…
… 
…you.

I don’t want to live 
without you
But I will not die 
with you.

And I love you.

and 
I love you

and 
  i 
love 
you—


Details | Rhyme | |

Setting up House

I met a woman, fell in love
She was a gift from above
Soon she became my spouse
We gathered things and set up house.

Some things were new without a flaw
Some were hand me downs from Ma and Paw
For some we saved nickels in a can
Some were bought on the installment plan.

Children came – a total of four
Two boys – two girls- no need for more
We managed to provide room and board
Did the best we could afford.

We moved around from house to house
On an adventure – me and my spouse
Gathering things to which we would cling
But we rarely got rid of anything.

Tables, chairs, couches, and beds
Cabinets and shelves taller than our heads
Mugs, pictures, and bells we did collect
Mementoes and heirlooms on which to reflect.

A man gathers a lot in over fifty years
And remembers many of them with tears
Many a thing still fills my house
But it’s not a home without my spouse.

She has a room in a retirement home
Care is provided and she cannot roam
I dreamed one day we would be old timers
But I never figured on Alzheimer’s.

Now I have a house full of stuff
Too many things - more than enough
The time has come to downsize
To an apartment in the high rise.

My children came one by one
Went through my stuff until they were done
One takes this and another takes that
And managed to do so without a spat.

Giving things away is a lonely task
My irritability I cannot mask
Gathering things with my spouse
Was more fun than cleaning out house.



Details | Rhyme | |

The Old House and the New Home

The Old House and the New Home
©2011 C. Brent Cloyd

I’ve lived in houses in the country side
There with my family I did abide
By the dust and gravel of a country road
Much pride was taken in our humble abode

I’ve lived in houses perched on a hill
Many of which are not standing still
They provided shelter in their time
Provoked memories that make life rhyme 

I’ve lived in a house on a city street
Where the neighbors came out at night to meet
I’ve lived in houses made of wood and stone
On avenues where children could safely roam

I’ve lived in houses of mortar and brick
Where driveways were paved and the grass was thick
I’ve enjoyed houses far better than most
Where friends would come and I could serve as host

But my current house seems like a foreign land
Where everyone wants to lend me a hand
Living in this place is not my desire
Of this arrangement I easily tire

The time has come for me to leave
To this old house I will not cleave
I no longer want a cottage here below
To a fine home in heaven soon I will go.

I long not for a mansion or streets of gold
But just a place where I will never grow old
A place where pain and sadness are never more
Where happiness is found on every shore

I am eager, yes ready, to move out
To possess my new home with a shout!
The promised home Jesus went to prepare
Death please come quickly, I want to be there.


Details | Haiku | |

That day of rainy season

I still remember
That day of rainy season 
When I missed you most.


Details | Quatrain | |

THE DREARINESS OF THIS FRIGID SEASON

Goodbye Fall with all the auburn leaves of the reddest sunset,
goodbye crackling path where I met the last songbirds,
whose melody accompained me to winter's doors;
and with deep sadness I kept on looking back.


Welcome gloomy winter with short afternoons and long evenings;
watching the advancing shadows and loudly hearing
the furious sound of the squall rampaging the stately trees,
and making them weep when the icy rain comes down with lightining. 


Sitting in a rattling, rocking chair, I peruse through pages of sunny places afar,
forgetting the dreariness of this frigid season and be consoled by a warm fire;  
and still nostalgia abounds...thinking of the pleasant strolls of a past season,
which thrilled me with its colors, and through delight I justified my reason. 


O winter, don't linger as you always have...shorten your stay, avoid foul play; 
and could I ever stand a pale sun, hardly giving off with its luminiscence,
in this house hidden among the maples and the pines of a squalid valley?
Old winter, don't mislead me with days without snow...that's utter pretense!


Goodbye explorer fedora hat keeping my dreamer's head cool, 
sparing my skin another ugly wrinkle, allowing late beauty to rule;   
goodbye iced coffee sipped from my Big Apple plastic cup,
which I bought along Fifth Avenue in a crowded, variety shop. 


Ummerciful winter, pity the desperate state I am in,
reduce the wrath of your devastation, step inside and to tell me your amazing tales...
hoping that I will write them down for everyone to read and enjoy for immortal ages;
relentless winter, reduce the dreariness of this frigid season.


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Quatrain | |

A Circle of the Globe

Little did I know that
A year ago today
We would end up right back here now
Like you never went away

The scabs have only just left
My skin still pink from scars
Not enough time to forget you
Not enough to stop wishing on stars

And yet you're standing here once more now
On my doorstep wanting in
And believe me I want to let you
But I don't want to hurt again

So I'm faced with the decision
To forget and go on with you
Or to bring the scars to your attention
Tell you what you've put me through

Or be silent and walk away
To wonder what could have been
If this was the one time you had pure intentions
Or if I'd be burned within

But with everything that's happened
I can't pretend to be okay
I can't ignore the lashes to my heart
Given when you walked away

I so wish I could forget it
Because as much as you've hurt me
I would never want to hurt you
I don't want to ignore your plea

The world spinning has changed so much
A circle of the globe
Time seems to move so quickly
But with you, time seems to slow.


Details | Haiku | |

The sadness of the past

Shall we be happy When we shall play the guitar Or shall we be sad Yesterday is far Yet it is clear in our minds How shall we see tomorrow Will we yearn again I hope to find the power To laugh in future I do miss the past But for how long should i cry Bygone is bygone The good foolish days Everything seemed fair and nice Shall never come back


Details | Blank verse | |

Absence

A tune echoes from a room.
Makes me think of them and I.
Absence, my aggrieve.

A tune plays from a room.
Makes me think of him and I.
Absence, my yearning is against.

A tune heard from a room.
Makes me think of me.
Absence of my happiness.


Details | Rhyme | |

Candle in the Dark

She’s a Candle
Glowing in the dark…
A lighthouse 
Pointing to the shore… 
Through gloomy days that seem so dark 
Through tempests that rage and pour 

She’s the Oasis 
That quenches my thirst…
The passion 
Burning in my veins…
My heart swells within my chest 
My passion, my pleasure, my joy, my pain

She’s the mystery 
I never can solve…
The balm
That soothes my tears…
My goal, my zeal, my sole resolve 
With her I mock and taunt my fears

She’s the kiss 
I can’t forget …
Yet the very one 
That broke my heart…
My love, my soul, she did reject 
My dreams, my hopes, she knocked them flat


Details | Free verse | |

About Her and Her Reflections on Alone.

She washed her hands, carefully, so as not to remove too many memories, and the basin made
of porcelain must have held his fingers, somewhere...

She appeared to herself~hair piled above her head, curls escaping across alabaster
cheeks~alone...

There were screams on the inside of telephone rings and the voices of hello did not seem
to understand despair...

Neither did she, really, or her battles would have been won, maybe she would have never
had to have fought at all....


She remembered exactly the dates they had kissed, lips forming lines that resembled
happiness...

something she had once sketched when all the lights were out.


Would he know, would he listen, if he touched her palm now, if he lay it against his
heartbeat, if he closed his eyes and whispered the intentions of his rhythm...

would he know she belonged to him?

Reflections are silly upon the moment she dries tears, and memories are those best left
forgotten as the soap that sits upon a pedestal sink rinses away yesterday when she
touched his smile...

when she felt his intentions,

when her hands were held in sleep.


Details | Free verse | |

The Good Old Days

The Good Old Days

Thinking back to the beginnings of my life
Two wars America could never have won
Thousands dead more wounded as America fought for nothing
A president murdered as he waved at the people who loved him
Riots that placed whites against blacks broke out in every city
Four innocents killed in Kent for speaking their mind
Others jailed and beaten for protesting a president they thought was wrong
Free speech was only for the party in power
A wall built to separate families from ever seeing each other mocked American power
Nuclear war was less than ninety miles away while the president flexed his muscle
American missiles were stationed all across the country so we could destroy any enemy
Strikes lasted not weeks but months causing people to live in their cars
No one came to help as children starved
The president committed crimes yet was never punished
What is a crime was erased by his friend stating the president would be pardoned
That ended that
People talk about the good old days
Look at history and let me know when they were
That we can talk about the good old days and where they were hiding


Details | Free verse | |

Another Suffering Poet

When I feel bitter discontentment
I take out my poision pen to immortalize
The ones who have crushed
Me with their 
Gigantic, concrete boulders
Like many before me
Who cried tears
Of overwhelming sadness
Lingering depression 
And infinite lonliness
I have become one with them
For we all possess
The same quality
The need to be set free
Through the expression of 
The thoughts that haunt our minds
We release our agony through our poetic prose
Our words are few
But, they speak volumes
About what lies inside us
For my creativity 
Stems from the intensity
That roams within me
My open wounds
Exposed for all to view
When I compose
A melodic rhyme
It speaks of my angst
Through mystery
Making my reader
Look beyond the face value
Of my syntax
And search for the true meaning
Of which I was attempting to convey
My poetic talents 
Can only bring miniscule relief
From what has been
Creeping up on me
Following me 
My entire life
I hear the clock ticking
The hand is about to strike midnight
The fairytale is over
Time is running out
Like sand passing through the hourglass
I wait for the day
I muster up the courage
To turn on the gas stove
Sticking my head in 
Sylvia Plath style
So I can take my last breath
Ending my melancholic existence forever
For I couldn't escape the curse
Of my literary collegues
That preceded me
Whose lives were filled 
With despair and doom
Who spent their life tormented
By the demons inside their soul
Because I, like them
Couldn't stop feeling the torture
Of my past
When I laid down my pen
And closed my eyes
For I am just another suffering poet
In my grave
Decaying away
After a life wasted


Details | Rhyme | |

Realize, Remember, Regret

That moment when you realize,
what love should be,
what you lost,
what you didn't see..

That one memory,
that you cant forget,
that haunts you,
that makes you wonder why you met..

That piercing look and,
she makes you melt,
she teases you,
she makes you question all you've felt..

That end result,
you'll never quite recover,
you'll always regret,
you'll always wish she were your lover..


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Fragmented Dreams

Last night I dreamt I fell in love again 
With the sweet purple flame of desire 
I remembered the honeyed taste of you 
As it filled my loins with fire 

Your once remembered taste 
So sweet upon my tongue 
Your skin, so soft it glowed 
In dreams you were so young 

Your scent began to fill the air
Your beauty so naked, so real
As I held you in my arms once more 
My heart began to heal 

My lifeless soul- such agony and pain 
Your void I cannot fill 
As tears began to fill my eyes 
I wonder...
When will my broken heart heal?


Details | Free verse | |

On My Birthday

Transfixed upon a lucite sunray
the iron blood of longshoremen
washed beneath the whisperings of the bay
a pupil canvas pierced through
by the scalpel of elephantine deceit
vision yellowed in the flowering of a lost identity
the young man swallows deeply and mourns
the gist of his first twenty-nine years.


Details | Free verse | |

For 15 minutes.

I will put my half blood in a huge metal can.
Take it for chemical analysis.
So as to see my beliefs and my perception,
my vision and my aspirations.
Those i loved and others i hated.
With my other half i will paint in brick walls.
At the top,maby above all,
i will write these two words.
NO MORE
NO MORE
And then i will go to the store with aquariums.


Details | Free verse | |

jump rope

there’s a curve 
at the end of every sidewalk 
did you know every block’s 
measured by the lazy way a rope
skips and ponytails itself down its own street?
my, how my rope bends
alongside that straight line
six inches above what you call a ‘curb’ under my knees
falling and rising under my feet


Details | Free verse | |

Solace Unbound

Long ago, I built for myself a citadel.
A fortress of stone and shining marble,
deep within the confines of my heart's depths.
I retreated there in my darkest hours,
seeking solace in the vast halls
that swallowed the noise, the screaming and pain,
and left only my thoughts;
a true bastion of peace.

Then one day, not so long ago,
an angel walked into it,
strolled in and so seamlessly became my life.
Every moment stretched into hours of
ecstasy and elation,
four months of happiness became forever.
She filled this abode with splendor and light,
chased away its shadows and held me close.

Then something terrible befell me.
The passion, the spark in her, died;
her interest waned and I was abandoned.
She left with scarcely a word,
and yet it meant so much.
With this whisper, off-hand and mere courtesy,
she caved in these once-mighty walls,
tore my castle down.

Now I roam here, amid the scars and debris,
a ghost at play with the remnants of its past;
yet here I am haunted by ghosts of my own,
echoes of her strewn among the wreckage.
My worn and battered frame hangs
off my drooping shoulders as I stumble around,
staring at the surrounding devastation;
this castle of mine turned monument to my past.

I wonder at the cause,
at the reasons why,
and wail at a fate so swiftly undone;
I know not why I
was left so low and alone.
Tears stain the ravaged cobblestones as
I wander these tormented paths,
the broken stone mirroring the broken man.

I cannot escape her shadow,
regardless of inclination or distance;
I climb the heights of these sorrowful ruins,
the crumbling towers and wasted spires,
and the ghost of her follows me on.
I grow weary of the whispers of time gone by,
but cannot find the steps to leave;
my sanctuary become my prison.

Here, my grief.
Here, my grave.


Details | Free verse | |

Love vanished

Seven years have passed
since first I married him
Whence he succombed his bride
Yet when I told him of babe we’d due
it felt our love just withered up and died

For the man he changed,
no, the child we had not planned
Pushed me around until to others ashamed I lied
I’d fallen, or bumped myself again,
backed him up, supported him, everything denied.

When babe was born,
I thought we’d learn to love
Try to make things work together with pride
But now cut off from all my friends in time,
it’s nursing I only now that I must bide.

Although I raise our child
I am so sad, my life has stopped,
when they play up I fret that you will chide
and fear that you’ll know not of when to stop
Frightened, huddled close we rock, we hide.

Once grown up, at school a freedom found,
whilst you’re at work – your daily grind.
Lucky new friend we find to guide
us back to safety relieved, released.
Apart, I know head high that I had tried.


Details | Free verse | |

What may it take to reply

..
What may it take to reply
A apology after another
A sweet chocolate
A poetry of praise
A Joke to laugh
A bouquet of flowers
A shower of reminders
Or just a though that
I remembered you
What may it take to reply
..


Details | Free verse | |

Remember

On the seventeenth floor
I spend too many days 
Staring into my hands as though
They might reveal something…

As though looking
Will cause all the things
That were once there 
To reveal themselves once more

My feet sketch the cracks in
My slatted floor length windows
As though they will, once again
Be covered with a glossy heel

As though they will be walking up the steps
Of a familiar dwelling
As though my toes will curl up
In the same soft sheets that 
They knew last spring

My eyes continue to blink
Hoping that once, they will open to
A different reality
That might see a familiar face
One that used to love me
That held me down softly
That stretched me out 
That opened my starving lungs
That knew and filled my heart 
So well.

But no…

my hands stay empty
 And my feet stay cold
My eyes remain open
And this place swallows me whole

I’m missing you like yesterday


Details | Bio | |

Dear Self

Dear Self,

I'm oh so sorry I let you down, so many uncountable times
Sorry I ignored your cries and pretended I didn't hear them, though they were all 
what was ringing in my ears
I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you and thought I was Ok without you
Sorry I left you crying your heart out in the rain while I had such a good time
Left you shattered at home, sealed in a closet, ashamed of yourself 
Hoping to come home and not find you
All I can do is stroke this gentle pen on this paper 
Stroke down my feelings,
For you
My broken words are all I have to offer
The years floated by so quickly
Like an idiot I sat there and watched, afraid to blend in
Where were my motives, my burning passions, my hunger for life?
For all those I needed Hope, a candle put out by reality a long time ago
—or was it by me?
Sorry again, for being the weak link in such a strong chain
For being the letter left not mailed, the uncooked meal
The unpainted painting, the unaccomplished plan 
The loser of the battle for survival 
Sorry for being a wilted petal, a worn out tree in such a strong thunderstorm 
called Life
Sorry for being so scared to move
So glued to my spot, afraid to budge, face the world
I'm now paying with my crimson regret, I assure you, if it makes you feel any better
Please forgive me, I beseech you
I know I cancelled reality long ago, to float my way through fantasy, wait for 
dreams to come true by themselves
Watched my heart crumble in the wind and my hope fly away like ashes
I kept wishing beneath brilliant stars, kept blowing eyelashes and looking for four-
leafed clovers
It all went in vain, and left you there watching me, pitying me, crying for me
Please find it in your heart to forgive me, and I hope we can start all over again, 
working together this time…

Sealed with a kiss of everlasting love,

Me


Details | I do not know? | |

Love Lost

To touch you once again
Has become a dream
                           a fantasy
                                      a sparrow in the night
Winging swiftly
                     softly
                           silently
                                   gone
My heart is broken


Details | Blank verse | |

Another Time

I seem to remember another time,
one so like today, yet brighter.
Perhaps more warm and golden.
More carefree, I suppose.
Oh, but we're so much older now!
There was a time, I remember, where
all we worried about was getting a tan,
and is my makeup just right,
and pass me a soda?
But now we have summer rainstorms
rolling in and we don't have umbrellas.
Sometimes, I think we're too old now.
Carefree days are over and now
we live in the cold, real world.
Could we still, just maybe,
learn to dance in the puddles?


Details | Rhyme | |

Complete Man

Prolog:   This poem is about how much you need to struggle to ‘survive’ as an accountable and matured man. Child demands what he desires and the man sacrifices his desire, to fulfill the child’s.  It’s funny how you would be made a king for a day, and then a ‘somebody’, or even a ‘nobody’? Moreover, as you grow up, linearly, the problems breed exponentially like bacteria. Yes, it is true that the assimilative power to bear the offsets increase as you grow up too and how we breathe with the mere hope that one’s integrity pays back at some point in life. These verses symbolize the seldom hidden pain as adolescents in antithesis to the trouble-free life of a kid. Being a four year old playing with crayons, it’s all about you and your own little world!  
 
The journey is tough, the journey is loathed,
The journey is necessary, the journey is promising
 
From learning to put on the bow-tie,
To responsibly having the handkerchief in your pocket,
From experiencing the toughest times
And still standing upright like a ship in a storm
Like never before,
Manhood, here comes, like a raging warrior,
Resilient in form, stronger than its former,
And kills your innocence; darkens your heart.
 
The journey is tough, the journey is loathed,
The journey is necessary, the journey is promising
 
Life slips by ‘unlived’ and under cut-throat competition
Little merry-time, patchy hangovers and a far-fetched ambition
In trying to enrich and reclassify his social status
Life is yet adventurous, travelling rough miles
Reshaping himself, constantly adopting new lifestyles,
Every so often, he needs a little time, damn-it
In the end, faith grows numb in breaking the habit
It’s flabbergasting dad, how you stood up on your feet
Such burden of liability on the shoulders, how can one keep?
 
Politics was detested, conspiracy unheard of.
But now only has become an essential strategy for survival
Pain only makes him stronger,
Thanks Kelly Clarkson; that makes our belief finer
And brings a hope of fresh revival
How true Darwin sayeth!
Fittest subsists, and the rest are extinct species.
However, gratitude to such reformation
The inception of adulthood, cognizance!
Teaches him to be & believe himself; thus push his limits farther
Only critical moments, binds his relationships sturdier
 
The journey is tough, the journey is loathed,
The journey is necessary, the journey is promising.
 
 
Inspired by : friends, fam, eminem, linkin park, my fellow poets, my world


Details | I do not know? | |

i returned to the sea

I can smell the wind in my face 
Salt air in my mouth-my skin
I become the other world I am in;
Walking against the breeze as it 
grows
But  nobody knows or gives two 
crows..
That's OK self conceit is in faded 
retreat.
Birds dive, their calls reaching my 
ears
An orange sphere eclipses all that is 
near
Blindingly bright~ on the edge of 
night
I walk west~sun setting as if in jest
I  smell lush salty wind invade my 
chest
I chase the reality to bask in 
finality...
I look at this beautiful place
A saving grace~what a beautiful 
face~
How I  distaste what's left of the 
race,
Leaving in its trace a waste..an 
infertile 
place. 
I feel salty air tickle  my  nose~
Feel the sand slip through my toes~
Walking against the ocean breeze
One last pose before god only 
knows;
I go to my knees, look out at the 
seas
Birds dives and weave, sit upon the 
trees.
I sit awhile and contemplate as I 
smile
At oceans edge I take in all that I 
hear
The orange sphere eclipsing all that 
is 
near
 I walk due west, sun setting as if in 
jest
Feet and mind  never stopping to 
think or 
rest
Quiet determination defeating loud 
lethargy
I slip into liquid effigy

Oops too late, I am not here to see
Dark vertigo becomes the wet indigo of me
The 
deep blue
sea.


Details | Free verse | |

One liter of tears

Its’ not how long we held each other’s hand
Its’ not the spring that we wish to come
But the verdant flowers bloom in each other’s heart.
Like a million smiles that brought in our eyes.
Those fade away by one liter of tears.

The hour’s tracks like days across the ages
like a story in every page that turns into yellow.
As the music will never keep playing,
And the songs keep fading to fade.
Can’t you see the time is as endless as forever?
Why love been trying in tears to disappear

The falling leaves fly on a windy day.
Like these love that was forgotten by the time
to my one last cry, one liter of tears
So here I, is something I hide inside
I ‘m in the world where I hide my heart.

Through a hundred million faces that I see
In this world so narrow and wide
looking for the reason that things must change,
But love would fade like summer into fall.
Like a river that flows upstream.

Like a million stars sparkling in the sky
one liter of tears glistened in my eyes,
And all the hopes were faded in black and white.
I cried, I feel alone, I was gone.
Frozen, inside without your touch, without your smile.








Details | Rhyme | |

The Rose

bullets, and hearts
lifeless bodies piled in carts
a lonlely mortition chewing over sweet tarts,
ironic, bitter sweet
blood can boil if you can bring the heat
and the dead can move, provided with a heart beat
black roses on my grave
mourn my loss on this day
blood dripping from my heart every which way
injured, batterd, buised and tattered 
you destroyed it all like it never even mattered 
falling roses in the sky
drops of blood spatter my eye
i told you i would love you until i die
my word is true, i was nobody until i found you
but you dont love me do you
bloody petals on the floor
you say nothing because you love me no more 
heart beat stops
face flops
knees weak and my body drops
exctacsy to heartbreak 
fearless too forsake
death is welcome but never comes
your the woman to seduce, but never succumbs 
to entrap but never loves 
it makes no sence like poisonous doves
looks to thrill 
designed to kill 
you say that you wont but i know that you will
your heart constricts mine till it lays still
your auburn eyes can paralyze
your intoxicating presence washes over me like the tides 
lips so beautiful, do they speak nothing but lies?
so seductive you hold my heart as it dies
cunning and deceptive crocodile tears instigate angel cries 
the personification of beauty 
the face of an angel 
the heart of the devil
your siren song, sang to my heart sweet and long 
draws me in, i cant resist for it is too strong
i want you to love me
to breath me
im writhing 
and seething 
seeking
and weeping
thinking as im dreaming
on what my dependence on you is meaning
i want to hate you but your part of my being
and now i am seeing
that i must catch the falling rose in the wind
present it to you, and steal your heart then
The blood on the petals are angel tears
for the fallen angel has realised her fears
she has fallen for a mortal 
a boy
who was nothing more than a toy
being played to her ploy
and she takes this defeat with joy
the blackest heart has been turned pure
fallen angel fell for my lure 
my arrow aimed at her heart oh so sure
and she is mine.... forever more


Details | Rhyme | |

Rivers

Rivers come and rivers go
Bringing faces to and fro
Rivers here and rivers there
Rivers never stop to care

Lakes and paths and rocks and beds
Rivers raging in our heads

Rivers come and rivers go
Oh, how I wish 
To slow the flow


Details | I do not know? | |

WHITE OAK, RED OAK

Oh, mournful, mountain balladeer,
Your plaintive, mountain song
Comes aching through
The tender evening sadness.
"White oak, red oak!
White oak, red oak!"
Oh, whippoorwill,
My soul echoes your sorrow.
         
Oh, spokesman for the broken heart,
Who taught you your refrain?
So eloquent your voice
Of soulful yearning!
"White oak, red oak!
White oak, red oak!"
I join you in your
Summer night's repining.


Details | Cowboy | |

'The Cowboy On The Battlefield ... ' (Cowboy Poem # 12)

Young Cowboy On The Battlefield
Remembered His Mama’s Words
‘Just Make It Home, Son …’
Her Voice Echoed, As He Heard …

Rapid-Fire and Revolution
Missiles, Right and Left
Bomb-Blasts and Confusion
… and Silent Tears, He’s Wept

… Every Day, A Minefield
Every Night, A Raid
Every Moment, A Terror
Trying to Make Him Afraid …

Any Second, A Horror
Of A Buddy, Laid To Rest
Every New Tomorrow
Wondering, What’s Next ?

The Cowboy On The Battlefield
Vigilant and Brave
Stood Ramrod Tall and Terse …
Looking At Her Grave …

‘Just Make It Home, Son … ‘
… Echoed Thru His Brain
‘Just Make It Home, Son …’
… Echoed Thru The Rain

And Just Before She Was Laid To Rest
She Said, ‘Just Make It Home, Son …’
And With Those Last Words, She Blessed,
And Said, ‘I’ll Be Waiting, When You Come …’

                    * * * *

… Old Cowboy, On The Battlefield
Remembers His Mama’s Words
‘Just Make It Home, Son … 
… and We’ll Celebrate Our Return …


Of  Note:  In The Words Of A Lady Rocker,
Pat Benatar:   ‘Love Is A Battlefield’
(but I Say, 'Life Is A Battlefield'


Details | Ballad | |

FROM ONE LOVER TO THE OTHER

Beautiful and loveable one,
you've vanished into nothing
and left me hanging
with a question in mind:
could I ever find someone...
who's witty and kind?

I am going, like a merry-go-around,
from one lover to the other...just giving
love to anyone who's able to bring
some passion and feeling!

I'd rather go back in time today,
and relive those moments again...
the ones that can take this pain away,
to make me remember the warm rain
coming down.. when spring
gave us another song to sing!  
    
 I am going ,like a-merry-go-around,
from one lover to the other... hoping
that on the other side someone is waiting!
I have kissed others with selfish eyes
and simply realized what was missing:
 you were unique in everything,
filled me up with joy and surprise...
making me discover another world! 

My long nights are as cold 
as these smooth satin sheets...  
I'll find a better reason to believe
that I can close these eyes tonight and dream!
And if years don't turn into days, I'll wait...
until I have stopped going 
from one lover to the other,
and wasted what you adore!

The sooner you realize my endless need,
the faster I will stop running wild and breath!  



Details | Free verse | |

Dreamed

Drea(me)d I dread seeing you at night when my mind should be playing catch-up. You plague the reality of my night fashioning fear where bliss should be; Fear of sleeping again because your face is more than I can handle in the dark shadows of the night I hide from you. Is it too much to ask to lose you? To cut your memory from my banks like the ever-eroding sand tearing out, never to return again? But you come back. I sleep soundly with no masked reminiscence of…You resurface like a creature from the depths, threatening to drag me down if I let you. You would pull me down to the darkness of tomorrow where from no one returns- a bitter old man you’d make me, if I let you. But nighttime ends and tomorrow begins with it comes the happiness you’ll never see because lost loves love their losses left in the endless sea.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Choice

Disappointed and angry on myself I am
Couldn’t just let this feeling go away
That annoying test I have to take again,
But I won’t let go so easy of this dream.

The moon is watching with stiffness,
Just a couple of stars appear on the sky,
My lips are getting heavy and dry,
And I can’t do anything, I am worthless.

I need to drink to wash it all away.
I must evade and destroy my way,
‘Cause nothing can make me better,
And my heart is getting colder.

Walking on my bicycle with speed,
I’m thinking of you and nothing more,
Just this road to cross it I need
And getting to that place for sure!

I can’t see myself apart from you,
Or you not laying next to me.
I think I need you now and badly,
This is perfect, you love me too!

Then your scream I heard
I am wordless but I do not fear,
To you I cannot get, it’s hard,
It’s almost darker than everywhere.

I entered the nearest little bar,
Looked on left, looked on right,
Something’s holding me up tight,
I am letting go of this thread.

So there I was, on the road again,
On my bicycle, and it started to rain,
On my way back home, alone,
No one’s going to stop me then.

I hopped that once I’ll get home,
You’ll be there to easy my pain,
And then holding each other again,
My heart will be no more alone.

But some friends I met tonight,
And they asked me to party,
I could not refuse a friend on Friday,
So I stood with them all night.

How could I forget about it?
You needed help, and so do I,
I’m sorry that I had to hit,
Your soul and leave you to die.

It was the hardest part... the cost...
To have a choice and not to choose
I had one love and now is lost,
Like my soul, and my mind I lose.


Details | Blank verse | |

Dim Embers Plead

Songs take voice in rampant whisper
'Pon the skyways of the Night,
Where truant Sun's no longer sway
O'er Moon's solitary reign...

As once again I durst there go,
To that lone moss-mantled Keep,
To unfathomed caves, my heart's retreat,
Enlamped but by sad yearning's glow.

There angels' psalms on black winds sound
Their dirge to Dream's descent
To flowered tombs- sarcophagi,
Where, loth to die, dim embers plead.









Details | Ode | |

It is time to go

The room is small,an unpleasant odour fills the air
She lays motionless.

Deathly pale, covered in a sheet of cotton
A lock of golden hair strays from a linament bandage.

I clasped her hand, blew on the tiny fingers
breathing life into them.

silence all around, an aspiration offered
I said my goodbye, it is time to go.


Details | Free verse | |

The death rattle of Jackson Haley

His heart gave a leap of joy,
scrambling up over a wall of memories,
as the leaves quivered in front of him.
On Monday the children were playing at soldiers.
On Tuesday he was playing fast and loose with a girl's affections.
I forgot to give childhood to him and the coat sit badly across the shoulders.
A heart overflowing with gratitude,he was a good man,
came of a good family.
Thinking of grievous loss and bewailing, Jack Haley woke up.
Gale force winds and the boat of souls tossed about on the stormy sea,
a joke and a racking headache of a thousand why.
Silence reigned everywhere at 6.30 in the morning.
He is a law unto himself now as 5 dollars in his pocket suddenly
disappeared.
He never sold himself to the enemy and lights turned on.

He looked at his son with pride,fingered the tie of reputation,
stammered out a few words and then stopped.
Just stopped.


Details | I do not know? | |

Do You Remember

Do you remember?
The nights that were ours
And the morning sun
On our faces.

Do you remember?
When you held me close,
The words you whispered
So no one else could hear.

Somehow I can't
Seem to forget, doesn't 
Matter how hard I try,
The ghost of memories still haunts.

You used to love me,
Would look straight in my eyes
And tell me so but now
You won't even speak.

Everything reminds
Me of you and the time we once
Shared long ago yet not
Long at all.

I remember the way
Your smile lit up when you saw
Me walk towards you, the
Happiness I thought you felt too.

When we were intertwined
And no one else mattered,
It was just us and we felt like
We could lie there forever.

Do you remember?
The way it felt on our first
Date, the light kisses we
Shared in the bright sunlight.

Do you remember?
Because I do, all the time,
But I guess that's life, no matter
How we may wish it were different...


Details | Haiku | |

Church and Vesey Streets, NYC

The steel birches shone
So tall in the global wood,
And then clear-cut rent.




Details | Free verse | |

Carnival Planet

Attractions
Bright lights everywhere

Distractions 
Noises fill the air

On this carnival planet
We’re all searching for something
But some will find nothing
And most have no clue where they’re going

I’m just another one of them
Another blur of movement passing by
I’m just like all of them
Another face, another insignificant life

Blend in 
Fade out
Breathe in 
Breath out

Sure, I’m searching for something
Truly don’t know where I’m going
But I don’t think I’ll find you there

Deep down inside
I’ve locked myself away
The keys are long gone 
with my lost fantasies

Now I’m more in love with all alone 
Than I could ever be with you

I’m so full of my own empty
I no longer have room for you


Details | Rhyme | |

The broken fairytale

Once upon a time there lived,
A beautiful girl and a man she loved.
So true was such their love,
There wasn't anyone who disapproved.
 
It had been love at first sight,
A fairy tale since that day.
The maiden had found the man of her dreams,
No one else needed to have a say.
 
They had done it all,
Candlelight dinners, shyly holding hands,
Kissing in the rain, dancing around trees,
Leaving intertwined footprints on white sands.
 
But it wasn't just another love story,
It was uniquely special like every other one.
They had eyes for no other but one another,
The best part of their lives had just begun.
 
They traveled around the world,
And she kissed her man at the seven wonders each.
People would smile at the storybook couple,
As they counted stars standing on a beach.
 
With her, he was the man he wished to be,
The one who wouldn't think twice,
About pulling her up to dance in a crowded train,
He'd protect her, keep her happy at any price.
 
He'd see through her weak smile,
All the way to the tears inside,
He'd whisper sweet things in her ear,
Hold her till all the tears dried.
 
Though they did have a fair share of problems,
They always came together again,
No matter what happened,
Like raindrops on a window pane.
 
On a rainy day, she had sat waiting,
Wondering about the surprise he had promised,
But he never came,
For the winds of fate had suddenly changed. 
 
Five years after that day, she found herself alone,
Sitting on the porch, counting stars on her own,
As she recalled the day he had been taken from her,
'An unfortunate accident' on the next the papers had shown.
 
She hadn't cried on the phone, she hadn't cried on the way,
She didn't even cry when she had to identify him,
Not a single tear or a heartrending sob.
She just stared ahead with an expression so grim.
 
It was only when she had received his belongings,
The remnants of his last minutes, did she react.
She screamt and cried, laughed and wailed,
For among others, was a diamond ring beautifully packed.
 
His surprise, the laughter in his voice,
The excitement, the secrecy of the evening.
He had been right, it had left her breathless,
But he wasn't there to see the sorrow it did bring.
 
Even now her eyes brimmed with tears,
As she looked at the ring as it sparkled,
And thought of that time when there lived,
A beautiful girl and a man she loved.
 
- Miliya Parveen


Details | Free verse | |

Callous eyes

Callous 

Every tiny things matter in a young world, 
and then with callous eyes, he is used to pick
days and nights as they pass him, as they pass beyond.

Sometimes he panics, fears that she’ll go away 
and he won’t feel any ache, just be watching her
moving away, erasing; looking at the place
where she has been seen last; with covert anger.

A tiny butterfly flies, in and out, in and… 
the patch of rain raises smells, smells of musty dusk.
The callous eyes follow the hands clutching heart 
where past is blending in pains and agonies.  
=© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar


Details | I do not know? | |

Hello? War In Here

It was one of those moments 
The ones no one ever views in real life 
Well I was cleaning my closet out 
And I found empty whiskey bottles 
That we'd shared for a while 
Hidden under all the clothes 
You left through the years 

It got even worse 
When I found that old picture 
Of us sitting down, both 30 pounds lighter 
We used to be so young 
With our big hair and first packs 
This is when it all started 
When it started to get blurry 

It was insane to see 
How much we would take from eachother 
At 3 am I thought of how you were in bed 
And noticed I would take my turn 
Only when I was on the fix
Only when we were together 
Not for anyone else 

It was plain to see 
That I took my anger out on you 
I put all the blame on you 
My first joint was shared with you 
And since then I passed through the gates 
Only to find my dependence on them all 
It's all on me, just leave me alone


Details | Rhyme | |

Memory of Adelaide

A wind rolled away down a lonely street
Like silent thunder wrenching, reaping dread,
While an ancient man drew the covers up
To thaw old bones reclined on slatted bed.

Phlegmy eyes coughed into wakefulness and
Slid slowly in their sockets to his chest
And Oh! to hear that moan of sheer defeat
When the flagon echoed his emptiness.

His stingy warmth - printed, numbered; scattered
Like yesterday's news and flew with dire mirth
To dance a cloven jubilee of death,
As old boots, so weary, kissed their mother earth.

The wind rolled away down an empty street -
A whispering dirge borne on leaf-soaked cloud
And an ancient man resting, still as night,
Lies waiting, waiting, waiting for his shroud.


Details | Elegy | |

Marie III--Is the Coffin Too Deep

So frigid was her immaculate body Her last second in screams is all I can see Love's revenge was my guilt With you I'd rather let you die with Bound hands Without you, Marie, like the psychopath's dream Death is all that I can see; All that could redeem Did anyone ask Did anyone recall The sweet taste of the poison The swift slash of the knife he penetration of the lead The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Was it so hard to solve Was it so hard to see That I strangled her so easily My nails piercing her comely skin Blood dripping like the pomegranate I crushed with the shovel I shattered her shins The knife to slight her wrists Didn't you see I did it all The only witness Couldn't say Is the coffin too deep? The pain of her decaying hear tI can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Marie I cant stay Earth is to cruel when your coffin is to deep Forever in death and in death alone The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep?


Details | Ballad | |

NO OTHER THOUGHT FOR ESCAPE

An infamous thief
lived a restless life,
looking out for those
vigilant, shrewd cops;
his crafty hands pulling out
those tools out of the box,
to feed that ego so imprudent:
would he never be caught...
when his instincts coudn't predict?

Escorted to the court-room, 
in hand-cuffs and chains,
he faces the harshest judge
of the In-God-We-Trust-Country...
a female judge who's fair but firm,
and yet so unsympathetically angry;
and she like a fearless preacher warns,
" Whoever thinks has a right
to steal, rob, kill or disturb the peace...
must be punished accordingly to the crime! "

All he wanted was an easy flow of money,
dirty money without a trace of sweat;
and he acted like the richest man of the county...
flashing it around and feeling great!
Did he ever foresee an end to that bliss,
how could he not be harmed by his own mischief?

In the coldest cell, he sits on the sheetless bed...
frowning upon an unsuccessful scheme:
if he were able to bend each bar with those hands,
unlock each door and sprint to freedom...
it would be the end of his loneliness and boredom;
but when reality sets in, he returns to being sad!    

Years and many more years without a voice...
he will spend writing letters to his family,
missing out on holidays and birthdays...
repenting of his greedy and wicked ways
and allowing no other thought for escape;
pain, isolation and tolerance within those walls...
will teach the hardest lesson for his sake:
to make good choices and overcome his misery!!
    

    
  


Details | I do not know? | |

Florid light

Florid light from 
The heavens glistened down
Illuminating tranquility as such
Shadows veil, so not to be found

Angels would escort her
Along soft moss covered way
Warm breezes of summer
Stirred gentle winds
For a radiant maiden 
On a god's given day

A harsh winter’s night
Or a dank, dispiriting day
Of these I speak
The gods kept away

A lover she longed for
Selected I as her last
Surrendering to love's delirium
By her spell I was cast

A lady slipper found
In woods rest solely
A grasping hand
Creates a demise unholy

My angel's wings
Dispatched her in flight
Home to Eden
From a thralldom too tight

At sad times I ponder
Are her thoughts sent my way?
From a radiant maiden
On a god's given day


Details | Free verse | |

Fear

Wide eyes
Panic
lips hovering right below a scream
hair pulled into a fist
mouth covered
panicked eyes
wide
heart rattling
fear


Details | Free verse | |

I wish you did

You talk about how you can never find her,
or how you can't seem to keep one around
I try to hide the fact that I am that girl,
because I know that in your eyes I'm not.
You say that you want a girl that laughs at all your jokes,
 If you notice,
I do.

I let you cry on my shoulder, EVERY time you get hurt. You say that you want a girl that you need a girl, that's there for you when you need her One that makes you laugh when you don't want to. A girl that you can be yourself around.
If you notice, I'm her. If you notice, I'm everything you said you want. Do you notice? Not one bit.
But I wish you did.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Purging

I thought about vodka, I thought about sleep.
I thought of the world, laying idle at my feet.
I thought about a pick me up, I'd though to push you down.
I though about the little things I couldn’t keep around.
I thought about him and every single him before,
I wondered what I’d be like if I’d learned to hold the door.
Through silently maiming and thunderous shaking,
it rattles your bones, empties bottles worth breaking,
while killing the blame, whether giving or taking,
like uncalled out claims that I should have been staking
and burning down bridges, this mess that I'm making;
remedied, if I’d escape this constant state of waking.


Details | Free verse | |

Remorse

Harmful words
Bitter separations
Premature death
Guilt over not reconciling
A lost family member


Details | Free verse | |

Nostalgia

there is always that moment
when your brain sinks,
your eyes intensify in sadness,
and you realize that a certain point
in time is forever extinct
except for your biased memories.

it spreads through your arteries
and veins, puncturing every 
nerve that disagrees.
it will wrap itself around
your heart, destroy your soul.

the irony, that the things that
once caused such joy,
now strangle your thoughts
in an attempt to paralyze your existence.


Details | Free verse | |

Tristesse

Tristesse

Do you remember hazy days in Paris?
Mornings painted with rain
delicious sunshine dancing on wet streets
like warm tears
washed away now with your reflection
in the quiet certainty
of a June morning


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Forgotten Fairytale

I caught a glimpse of you 
    when you didn’t know I was looking 
 Trying to rediscover what I'd forgotten about you 
                About us
         Why I'd once loved you... 
              In that other time
 
You were standing naked in front of the mirror 
         Your auburn hair glistening on your wet, mortal body
  You had just stepped out of your morning shower 
       humming the customary tune you do so well 

I stood quietly in the hall...
watching you shave your golden, red beard 
       while you hummed... 
  keeping the rhythm with your foot 

It was intoxicating, observing your routine 
    without you knowing I was there 
  I'd watched your morning ritual a thousand times 
                 You - always aware when I was looking 
 In the past   
    In that other time
 
      Somehow... 
  watching you more with my heart, than with my eyes 
              made me melancholy 
  Missing those feelings I'd once felt for you 
             For us... 
       So deep within my heart...
   For awhile back then
    
Did we ever really love? 
  Was it kismet? 
       Was it fate?    
         The question sits on unspoken lips 

I sighed... 
     Missing us, missing you
  Back then... 
        In another time     

When our melody began 
   you sang the notes to my heart so well 
       so tender 
  We soared on the music 
         our mouths relishing the kiss
      In our moments back then   
 
     For a time...        
We were us, you and I 
    Tracing our love with thirsy lips 
  hungry bodies 

I stood there looking at you for quite some time... 
        Pausing at the door before I left
                    Knowing... 
 I might never open that door again                 

    I turned back once more before turning to go 
       making sure to remember just why I was leaving 

     But now... 
        Every time I see a man shaving
   I find myself thinking of you

         Goodbye my love
 
 


Details | Free verse | |

One of these days

This could have been just another day
To watch the world go by in silence
To stare at the lights 
And  it seems to come from nowhere
And mesmerizing those moments 
You held me in your arms
Perhaps, maybe
 One of these days
The leaves start to fall
And flew into the sky
Like those clouds that ran fast
That can never be hides 
Through the passing wind
As you had promised 
Beyond the highest tower
That has been drowned 
In the ocean of tears

This could have been just another hour
To sit beneath the bridge of stone
And stare the sunset 
And wait for another day
To cross the streets for you to reach out
And find the word goodbye
That I don’t know how
Somehow, one of these days
You’d rather say hello, and
Forget who I am
Like those empty skies
That longing for the stars
Waiting for a long day
To see them dazzling as neon lights
Like those words, you had sworn
For more than a hundred times
That make my heart dance in a glow

This could have been just another minute
To embrace the cold breeze 
That was passed my way 
And to hold the shadow of the sun
Vanishing along within my palm
As holding dreams 
That can never be mined
Maybe, one of these days
I will be as an autumn leaf
That was been forgotten by your heart
That dies in your soul
One of these days
I will be the tress, 
Dancing in the wind
I will be the lights, 
Reflected on water shade
That cannot be held, neither can you feel me



-----August 21, 2010-----
.


Details | Free verse | |

Love Part 1

So sweetly apathetic
You lie asleep
While I'm still crying in the next room
You haven't seen me in days
But I'm still here
I'll never leave, love

You wake so suddenly
It touches you again
The cold where I used to be
Someplace deep inside
A place we used to call home
But we burned it down
And it's out of our hands, love

Bitter words and angry hands
Crushes the hearts still gasping for love
But you still haven't seen me
Weeks now, it's been
I'd give anything to take it away
I'm so sorry, love

All I am, all I used to be
It can be yours
If you'd just let me die for you
I'm aching, you're my only purpose
My last proposal, my final sacrifice
Please, forgive me, love
I've been gone for so long
While you were only in the next room
But here I am, now, my precious
All that I am, all I'll ever be
Is yours
Just say I'm the one
The last you'll need, you'll want
The final chapter, the last step
Please, just tell me how much you love me

I'd fall to my knees and beg you to take me
If I thought you'd see me
I'd give anything and take everything
I'm your martyr, love
Give myself to the fire
If I thought it'd keep you warm
Please, see me
Please, discover I'm the only one
A desperate nothing without you
An empty shell without my heart
And it still hangs around your neck, my love

Apathetic empathy
So bitter-sweet to my ears
To hear you say you love me
No louder than an inaudible whisper
My screaming falls out into limbo
Wear the ring, take my soul
It's all to make you smile
Your happiness would be too much to ask
I'd settle for a glance
Just a notion, my one

I'm growing weak, I'm burning slowly
A million miles away, still you bring me closer to yesterday
I adore you
I haunt you
I'm the breath on your neck
As you try to fall asleep
You're my obsession
My only passion
My heaven and perdition
Oh, my love
If you could only see
If you would only hear
How I long for you to love me

If I had only known
If I could have only seen
My God! If only I could take it back
I wouldn't be here
Existing merely as the ghost of your memories

Trapped in pages
Never to reach the climax
Hear the end, find the revelation
You're my purgatory
I'd sell my soul
If I could only get it back from you
Just say yes
Say I'm real
Just turn a little more
Please, see me
Please, see me!


Details | ABC | |

The Night and Her Ways/Lost Under The Sun

there is a moon,
shining all alone
under all seas looming side to cloud
fall in our night and wait for the one who makes
slip in the prowl
the beasts hold night at growl
howling their sorrows
move midnight forever is tomorrow
come to our dark we run deep in the dusk
trust your lost soul while wait here for the sun

trust your yearning haven safely break
grey sky a-standing
standing far astray

lost under the sun
lost under the sun
lost under the sun 
lost under the sun

there is a place
marble floor and blue
there is a space 
that was meant for what was you
summer now white a different sort of lone
cold in our skin deeps
looking towards our glow

lost under the sun
lost under the sun
lost under the sun
lost under the sun


Details | I do not know? | |

Hey You

Hey You-
 Yeah You!
 What's Going On?
 What's Happenin' Now,
 It's Been So Long
 (Kinda Like That Song)
 Cause I Miss You,
 And Things Arent The Same,
 Since You Started This Game,
 Of Needing Someone To Blame.
 I Just Wonder if You Ever Think of Me,
 And How Things Used To Be,
 Before I Came To Be 
 Seen As Your Enemy.

No More Joke's,
No More Laugh's,
No More Drivin' and Wasting Gas,
No More"Chuck Norris'll Kick Your Ass"
No More Shrooms,
No More Nights,
No More Coming Between Our Fights,
No More "Lock-Down,*****"
No More Going to Jail,
Or Having to Worry bout' Paying Our Bail.
No More Shopping at the Mall,
No More Happiness at all.
    Cause I Can't Quite Scratch this Itch,
    To Say Cause" I'm Wayne Brady...*****"
So I Just Hope That I Can Hide,
All This Pain I Feel Inside,
Lest That You Become Aware,
Of All My Feeling's Of Despair.
Cause Friendships Just Can't Be The Same,
Ever Since You Got So Lame.
And You Went And Turned Me Blue,
Knowing I Can't Find Another You. 
-Erin Anderson


Details | Free verse | |

Stand Still

You always said you would be my crying shoulder, but you can't be this tme. It's you that has caused these tears. It isn't your fault. I can't be what you need, but I tried so very hard. I know I can't change your mind now. I have been here though three before, so why should one more be much different. I know you love poetry, and I love you so this is dedicated to you. Maybe one day you will realize that the truth has been in front of you the whole time. You will finally mend the heart of the one who mended your's so many times before. Just to ease your mind, don't worry about me I will be "fine." There isn't anything that can change how things are or how I feel so I guess now we are at a stand still.


Details | Free verse | |

uoY

i took one last look 
At all the things 
That you used 
To make you, you 
The you only i knew 
The you i loved 
And i smiled a momentary smile 
Picturing you days from now 
Glancing at the things that you might carry from here with you 
A brush, an eyeliner, lipstick 
And i saw my smile 
In the mirror that you used 
The mirror that i used to use 
To look at you 
But the glass never did catch the glance 
i saw in me 
When i looked back 
And you were no longer there


Details | Free verse | |

Skin

When I lay in bed
Almost asleep
I feel you on my skin
Like a whisper
I jump and swat at you
Because you could be a spider
But it’s not a spider
It’s the remnants of your touch
I can’t see you
But when I lay in bed
I feel you tickling my skin


Details | Free verse | |

Just A Dream

Still cannot 
wrap my mind
all around
all alone

Where would I  
even start 
to describe 
what I’ve known?

No life left 
so breathless 
all used up 
all worn down

How it is
Is how it was
And how it will always be. 


If I could see
what it would
have been like
to find you....

I’d have traded every wish
and said they all came true 

Please heart, quick!!
Please, please heal!!!
Please let me feel again!!!

He’ll never know
how empty
he will be 
without you. 

In the end
He’ll remain 
what he’s been
this whole time

Just a dream, 
just my prayer, 
just not mine


Details | Rhyme | |

Other Side of the Riverbed

On the silent riverbed, she stood
Where the softer wind had blown
Against the ground, she glistered star's light 
And eclipsed nature's splendor grown

Yet beauty tempted not my interest
Though her allure gleams upon thrones
But a sorrowful sound out her breath
Revealed a sorrow unknown

With the edge of elegy, she sung
A celestial kiss of tone
Heard angelic gentle melodies
And had my bleeding heart sewn

A mortal, mortally mesmerized
My reality away thrown
In fanciful fret, fraud my own heart
To lust for a heart of stone  

Was she a more perfect life than He
So to have been disowned?
Belle of heaven, curse my tenderness
But let me join in atone

In that frigid callousness of night
Her divine shine has shown
That the saddest thing for an angel  
Is for her to shine alone


Details | Free verse | |

Never Mine

Walking through your door not knowing how to tell you everything I feel.
You've always been someone else’s; never mine.
I didn't care that you didn't feel the same way. 
You never saw how I looked at you.
You never noticed that I cared.
Now it's my turn to tell you how I feel.
You've been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
I think it's time you knew why I put up with you for so long.
You've changed the way I look at things and it is fine.
But, you've always been someone else’s; never mine.
When I look at you and see a smile,
Even though I know you're thinking of someone else,
I can't help but smile.
I've loved you since the beginning.
Since that moment I first laid eyes on you. 
I felt something for you.
But, you've always been someone else’s; never mine.
I've never been able to tell you how I feel.
But finally, I have my chance.
I've never been able to get over you.
If you don't care what I say then I'll know
You'll always be someone else’s; never mine.


Details | Verse | |

Controlled Space

Floating sounds in perfect pitch
Your words, they make me lust.
Secret thoughts I often conjure,
I try to calm my greed.

I want to taste your ecstasy 
And hold it on my tongue.
Your presence is engulfing me,
My body is going numb.

But in a room of plenty,
I imagine we’re alone.
No distractions to disturb you,
Just our bodies intertwined.

But in the sad reality,
You stand with manly grit.
I watch you in your controlled space,
And we listen to you teach.

But when our hour is over,
And I’m forced to part ways.
I do not stop to wallow,
Because tomorrow awaits.


Details | Free verse | |

The Ones Who Bleed, Scar And Move On

I wish and I want
I take and I take
I plead and I need

Why does eveyone think the world revolves around themselves
Just worry about nothing but ''Me, me, me!''
There's a splendor of encounters out there, places filled with new experiences
You'll have to wait and see
That the heart ache and the pain
Won't ever get the best of the voice within
And the world doesn't revolve around me
It revolves around the strongest, kindest, purest of us all

You wish and you want
You stand forever and to yourself, you must stay true
You wait and you wait but nothing seems to ever await you

The ones who kept fighting and never gave up,
The ones who had every reason to wish for death but kept themselves alive,
The ones who'd never believe just how beautiful they are,
On the outside and inside,
The ones who bleed and scar
And move on,
The ones who are thankful for not having a backspace button in their lives. . .
'Cause everything makes you who you are


Details | Tanka | |

Those Butterflies

When we were children
We used to catch butterflies
But they died at night
Because when we went to bed
We kept them inside curtain!


Details | Didactic | |

World peace ?

 Has there ever been world peace?
 This question lies faintly on my mind
 Would there ever be world peace?
 Different question of the same kind

 Since an angel has been thrown down from heaven
 Earth will never know no tranquility
 The prophets tried but they could not make peace even
 Peace will come unless Cain and Abel will shake hands in comformity
 
 The fifty stars will never agree with some moon and stars
 The sane sex will want to procreate
 A person wants to die and he turns other people into carcass
 A group of people will want to destroy what they cannot create

 Maybe that is why water turns to bomb
 Breeze turns to bulldozer
 And earth starts to swallow till it turns to a tomb
 We don't know the one to come later 
 
 Some leaders will want to break Nyadema's record
 Some will obtain the money there children can never earn
 The hungry and jobless masses will then rise in discord
 If the fail they will wait for death to take away the vaillian

 Religion  is a good agent of  peace
 Two religions should bring double peace and not war
 We should not treat peace like a piece of cheese
 We all should make sure that peace exists were ever we tour.


Details | Elegy | |

Marguerite

You were like a delicate flower so fragile and pure,
But you would never bloom again as you did before.
Maggie my dearest friend,
We'd known each other since the age of ten.
No longer will I see that beautiful serene face ,
And in my heart there's an empty space.

We both married and went our separate ways,
Now I sit back and reflect on those days.
Whenever we met we had so much to say,
That it always took an entire day.

Our lives took a rocky course,
And after several years ended in divorce.
We were like sisters You and I,
I never thought that you would suddenly die.

I know that Mother Mary is standing with arms opened wide,
As she gently ushers you inside.
My devoted friend hear my urgent plea
That when my time comes,
Please keep a place in heaven for me.


Details | Free verse | |

TIMES PASSING

I spoke with a young man
of the singer I loved as a
young man myself--a woman
with angel voice and the long
curl-dense hair of a temptress:
he had never heard her name.

Nor had he ever heard of them,
that world beating band whose music 
we danced to underneath the 
boardwalk, a stone's throw from 
the ocean's eternal caressing.

"They were famous!" I almost
cried out, till I realized his world
was not mine. His is living, here, now,
breathing-- while mine is lost, dead, 
revived only in silent reminiscence.

So our chat continued-- I asked him
about favorite epic movies. Had he 
seen the one with the brooding man
who led the magnificent Arab charge
'gainst the cruel Turk? How about the 
doctor searching endlessly for Laura
across the eternal Russian plains?

No, never even heard of them, he said,
but then added, in a hopeful tone,
he did know about that Civil War movie,
though he had never seen it. Truly,
all goes away with the wind.... 













Details | Free verse | |

Thy name is desire

Reading a book or watching a movie
We get imaginatively engaged-
Putting ourselves into the protagonists-
A wishful desire- it happens in one’s life.
We desire what another like us has,
Or what a pair appears to share and enjoy.
It gives birth to dual desires-
A possessive feeling for the beloved
An ardent wish to win over a rival.
What makes a wife or a husband rational?
Is the threat of husband-rival or wife-rival
The desire intensifies thro’ a spouse,
One desires what another like him or her has.
Once one gets it, it is a soiled thing,
Not getting it, is the most precious.
Oh! Jealousy, thy name is desire.
What makes us human is our
Universal Feeling of a lack in our lives
To be alive is to feel something
That ultimately is missing from it.


Details | Haiku | |

Tears

Sorrows of the heart,
that were concealed for decades,
trickle down her cheeks.


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled Number 1

UNTITLED NUMBER 1



And as our bodies moved apart
All the bitter dust fills up our mouths
Forbidding love to pass our lips
There were green leaves blanketing the earth
Comforting the death of youth


I don’t know why I watched you go
But after every light had drown
I fondly kissed the clock goodnight


We laid for a long time in the rain
Basking in our private sun
The seconds soaking deep into our skin
We couldn’t know what we would come to be
The cradle, and the casket, and the beds we call our home
Make us lost before we’re found


We watched the shadows spin around our bodies
Before the cadences of unity disappeared
The photos echoing through the dark room
Share an old story with a slow-dying flame
And when the embers burn down
And the ancient tales make you drowsy with love
The faces fade from failing heat
And the cold night closes in
Ashes to ashes             Dust to dust


Details | Ballad | |

WATERBURY'S PAST GLORY

Old Brass City
with massive gothic chuches,
abandoned rail-roads
and run-down factories...
we still glimpse into that bygone glory
which made your name so famous!

O Waterbury, no Christmas 
can be compared to yours,
when Main Street glitters under the fluffy snow
and everyone hummers a carol!
O Waterbury, those starry nights
are too surreal and make lovers fantasize!

Old Brass City,in ninenteen-forty-two
lads and gals were sent to war to fight the Cruel,
and mothers cried as their sons and daughters
left this once-happy-town of friendly and kind folks!
And despite all the sorrow and pain yet to be,
they proudly marched off to defeat the enemy!

O Waterbury, your monuments inspire hope,
and remind all of your past glory and leadership;
and the brave soldiers who sacrificed all...
became those heroes we've engraved into the soul!
Some returned, many died to seal their fate,
and their courage and valour put an end to all hate!


Details | Rhyme | |

To a Good Dog, Our Loafy

His name was Troy, but I called him Loafy,
Cause he looked like a loaf of bread;
Fat, so fat his neck had rolls,
Right up to the top of his head.
That little dog was so determined,
So full of life and zest;
He’d need a ramp to mount the sofa,
Or fall flat on his chest.
And in the wintertime he’d freeze,
And stand there till he died;
So we would put his booties on,
And walk him by our side.
Sometimes we’d have to carry him,
Cause arthritis was his vice;
His legs so narrow, just like sticks,
Would crumble on the ice.
He’d chase the cat but scramble much,
And bark a whiny bark;
So heavy, he’d roll off the couch,
To catch it in the dark.
But Loafy, he was loved by all,
Until that faithful day;
When something started to appear,
Upon his face of grey.
It seemed that thing that grew on him,
Made all his ailments worse;
He barely walked and couldn’t bark,
Without a heaving curse.
So with a heavy sigh of sorrow,
We took him to the vet;
They told us he had cancer now,
Our mother’s loving pet.
That day was harder than the next,
For our endearing mother;
She left her Troy to go to sleep,
And never loved another.


Details | I do not know? | |

***

9.02.2008

*** 
I stepped on this train
For reasons unknown
And left my poor soul
Alone in past times

I stepped on this train –
Determined to go
And left my crushed soul
Few stations
Behind…

I stepped on this train
And as years float by
I seek and I search
But still do not know

I seek and I search
Unable to find
I still cannot get
Away from my soul…  


Details | Free verse | |

My World

                        My world
The sky darker than red
Pouring out tears of blood
Everywhere- flames and mud
Even the air is filled with discord
Welcome to my world

Robbers pretending as merciful lords
Stealing the people’s collective fund
Hmm- Moses without a rod
Leading the people to the land of discord
Welcome to my world 

Thieves in disguise as shepherds
With fangs as sharp as the leopards
Innocent blood used to fertilize their orchards
Welcome to my world	

Dark lords pretending as the light
With no single deed in sight
They kill with utmost delight
While increasing the people’s plight

Snakes in disguise as a fish
Ready to bite at wish
The people’s flesh they are ready to ravish 
And hell unwilling to unleash

My world blessed with riches foretold
Vast in precious stones purer than gold
A view so beautiful, surely a sight to behold
How disaster struck, is story never to be retold

Make me the commander of the death squad
Make me the bearer of the cavalry sword
Make me the knife that draws blood
Severing all corruption’s chord
Because it’s only then, I can have a perfect world!!!

                                                                                                                                                                  Thormzy 2012



Details | Rhyme | |

AN ANGEL'S CRAVING

 An  oblivious sight I can't deny
The thrills  and demons solidified
Reckoning banquets  of dust and doom
Whispering, beggings of  spirit's gloom
 
Boundless era of  dusks and fume
Revenge outstands the new  millennium!
Stir the luminant shrills and  sighs
Let Hades hear the deaths and  cries!
 
Money, Power – have it and  win
Join the quest of Pleasure and  Sin
Lovely flowers? Have it  undressed
Drank its nectar of pure  finesse
 
Give no space to love and  compassion
Yet strive for hatred and  destruction
Let men endure and beg for  Death
Ruin their souls and end their  breath
 
'Tis oblivious sight I  can't deny
The demons in me  solidified
I reckoned banquets of dust  and doom
For I bring forth my spirit's  gloom


Details | Free verse | |

Under The Waves

Never quite in my grasp,
just a little out of my reach.
The sweet relief from life,
it lapses away at my feet,
pulling and pushing.
An irresistible tide,
waiting to drag me under.
To a world inside.

Impossible becomes reality.
In this new world under the waves.
A world that evades me,
even as I dive under the waves.
I plunge deeper and deeper.
The very world I craved,
turning into a nightmare.
No longer evading me.
impossible becomes reality,
as i struggle beneath the waves.
now the world of light,
to far from my reach.
The fears of the world,
now the tide around my feet.
Pulling me farther into the deep.
Creatures once pure and alive,
pull me to an impossible grave.
I struggle as if all of it was real,
desperate to escape.
Such an impossible reality.
The light fades from the surface,
reality now impossible. 
in such a mad world,
lying beneath the waves. 
I lose the game,
as the world is just inches from my reach.
I let go of hopes of the world,
of the pure world,
that lies somewhere beneath the waves.

I awoke on the beach.
Peaceful sleep,
still a stranger to me. 
I gaze into my mind and know,
That that night,
I'll not again,
dive beneath the waves. 


Details | Romanticism | |

True Love

He broke my heart today.
 
Today is the day he let me walk away.
 
What else is there to say?
 
He put our love to rest this day.
 
I offered him my trust, he threw it away.
 
It hurts me to know it has to end this way.
 
I fell for him at the drop of a dime.
 
I found myself fond of him in so little time.
 
Thought he was the one I had been waiting for.
 
My professions of love he would always ignore.
 
From me, he only wanted friendship and sadly nothing more.
 
It killed me to know this, for ‘tis him I adore.
 
This pang in my chest it has grown terribly sore.
 
How could he pain me, the love I long for?
 
Each night I lay awake with a heavy sigh.
 
Fight it as much as I might, eventually it is lonely tears that I cry.
 
Lord sometimes I swear it makes me want to die.
 
Wish someone could tell me why, it’s become so hard to say goodbye.
 
I’m not the one he wants, and I don’t know why.
 
I want so badly to make him see, with me is where he’s supposed to be.
 
How can anyone be so blind?
 
His rejection has tied my heart in a bind.
 
True love has never been this hard to find.


Details | Lyric | |

Alone

I hear sounds 
i see people passing by 
and cars flashing past 
the window 
I am alone 
But not entirely alone 
for in my mind i see 
wave upon wave of memories 
crowding the shore of my reality 


Details | I do not know? | |

Between What Is & What Was

 Silent thoughts,
Dwelling in untamed dreams.
Winds of change howling,
In the depths of human-beings.
Whispers of souls repentant and sins forgiven

But of heaven's blessings they cannot utter.
Throughout the world that is ruins, they now discover
That the ruin in their hearts has got bigger
For that is life and what may shall come
For that is what is, carry on your faults undone


Details | Free verse | |

Coffee

(We shared a cup of coffee 
over the demise of our relationship
in an orange vinyl cafe)
As we drank to the bottom of the cup
I came to realize
I am the bitter mouthful left behind
and you, you are the grinds


Details | Free verse | |

Momo

when I see the smudged bowl that Momo lived in, I think of his 
fins, which drifted off of his body and
broke apart like popsicles, and my fingernails,
which flake into pieces and snag on my sweater. it goes on, then, to
scars on my face and side and especially one on my 
thigh, a casualty from fence-climbing into a covert
Astroturf party in Riverside park. 
Momo was rushed to my uncle Bill’s aquarium hospital,
a small tank that sits beside a large glowing one, where
all the sick fish live.
I swallow to think that he slipped into the sink, once,
and I screamed OH MY GOD again again again until my
father threw him back into the bowl with his white hands.
my fish was buried in a backyard where a
golden-retriever named George once lived. 
I think of Momo’s small fish bones, the ones that will stay behind
once his scales and eyes disappear into the ground, and I think 
knobby knees, mine, the ones my 
cousins mocked six summers ago, and of 
lives so glossy, and of girls who make my  
stomach hurt, and of little blue fish, whose 
eyelash lips whisper kisses to no one


Details | Ballad | |

Silent Thoughts Out Loud

Don't step to me,
Talking about, "Baby please,
Just help me get out of this mess."
Because I stood by your side,
Paid my dues for that ride.
I walked away and I said my goodbyes,
But you're trying to pull me in
With all of your "Remember when"'s,
But then,
She walks into the room,
When she asks who it is,
You say, "Just Mike. That's it."
And on the other end of the phone, I sigh
Knowing that you will never change,
Because to you, it's just a game,
Not knowing that you're the one getting played
By her and her sneaky ways,
And all she has to say
Is, "Baby wait!
Don't leave me! I need you."
And just like that, you're sucked back in,
And here I sit on the other end,
Listening to you and her again,
And all I can think is, "Remember when
You finally told me her name
As I sat on top of my car ashamed
That I could allow myself to fall so deep
For someone who had already hurt me.
Remember when you first found out
That she was pregnant and it was yours no doubt.
But you said you still wanted me.
You wanted me to be your child's step mommy.
Remember when you wiped the tears from my eyes
When I was upset because my G-ma died.
I felt like nothing in my life would go right.
Remember when we broke up for a week,
Because of the first time you cheated on me.
Remember when we snuck you home in the middle of the night,
And sleeping in your arms felt so right.
Remember when you put yourself between me and that guy,
When you stood by me as the cars drove by.
Remember when I laid down in the street
And you got so worried about me,
Or walking back to your house and 'Good morning!'
Remember when we sat in the courthouse side by side,
Trying our hardest to find
The nicest way for you to say goodbye
To the girl you're with now and refuse to say
The word 'goodbye' and walk away
Like we talked about that day.
So now you're living two lives at one time,
Playing your games with my innocent mind,
And yet, I'm still here by your side.
Remember when I finally took by my life
And told you and your lies 'Goodbye'.
Oh, wait, that hasn't happened."
When you said, "What?" I snapped out of it.
All of the "Remember when"'s
Were supposed to be only in my head,
But the shock in your voice let me know it came out,
And all of my silent thoughts were said out loud,
And before I knew what to do,
I hear you say, "It was real. I loved you.
I always have and I always will.
The fact that you doubt it is unreal."
Faintly, in the background I hear her say, "What?
Tell me, please, what you're talking about."


Details | Rhyme | |

Lost Love

Lost Love My mind runs wild and my eyes leak, where do I go from here? You tore out my heart with your nonchalant act and my cries fell on only deaf ears. I hate you for treating me with such love, for using my heart as your toy. My everyday life is now empty and bland, and my heart filled with all things but joy. My ignorant soul is too stubborn, yet frail, it crumbles like leaves in the fall. To think of my happy days in your arms, but to you they meant nothing at all. The worst part of all is my love is still yours, My heart is still subject to pain. Oh what I would give to be rid of you now, your torture, your shackles and chains.


Details | Rhyme | |

The game of love

The game of love that I played
I was unfair all the way
I won your heart and broke it
Like a poor toy made of clay
Now I long for you today
When my hairs have become gray

Now I understand all the truth
I wasted all my precious youth
I made mistake in the first place
My whole life is now in a mess
Now I long for you today
When my hairs have become gray

Now we are oceans apart
All the girls now break my heart

Now I know what you mean to me
So I cry for my destiny
Now I have lost life’s joy and charms
Now I long for your tender arms
Now I long for you today
When my hairs have become gray


Details | Ballad | |

Vibeke

She is so sweet to me Her lovely lullabies are my fix An angel on earth she is With her voice she could break the lunar love She is my muse But where did she go My angelic-gothic queen A siren has fell What is left to take her place A wench from the south Such a terrible fate for her band of legends  Tristania has surely died


Details | Free verse | |

Blank Walls

What do you see when you look

At a wall?

Most of us see nothing

But white.

They see no pain, no emotion, no grief.

But for those of us

That know what it is to be

Abandoned, heartbroken, unloved,

We see all the stories that wall

Could tell us,

If only we would

Stop for a minute,

And listen.

Just listen.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Do you hear them whispering

To you while you sleep?

They're trying to talk.

They're trying to tell you

What they've seen,

What they've heard.

Stop for a minute,

And listen.

Just listen.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

They're exploding

With information,

With knowledge.

Stop for a minute,

And listen.

Just listen.


Details | Haiku | |

Grains of Sand

Weathered, eroded...
All these fragile stones and shells
now peacefully rest.


Details | Free verse | |

'Til Death do We Part

mascara of rain flakes onto a cheek
trickling off of glass skin
sadly how does it whisper
listen
music box lullabies muffle
under wrinkled sheets
sewn with her dying
silent cries
awaken
she cannot understand
that people so lovely return to God
as her feet touch pavement
wet with anguish
a dry crack stills the earths spin
a hoarse scream erupts
from her chest
o how sweet
her passion to deaths grip
mustering her remaining mind
never to be stifled
love
the everlasting bind of loyalty
goes beyond a grave
dug of body and not of soul
she rests her head on soil
kissing the petals she has brought
honor to beloved
to whom she sacrificed her heart
never-ending
whether they reunite in the alternate
is decided on a page not yet written


Details | Free verse | |

Final Rest

The Commerian facade of the old church
stands watchful over the path
leading to the threshold of the cemetery.
Through the  years
the stone monuments
of tranquil resting places
greet survivor tears,
dewdrops of love.
Within the church
psalms invite unison of spirit,
hunger and tears seek holy love,
as prayers to saints dissolve hate and anger.


Details | Free verse | |

Stuff From a Shelf Life

my life's collage is packed carefully
in crumpled newspaper and old towels
does love have given values?

some things -
a small, wooden, goofy-faced Vladimir;
an angelic cow, all wings and pleading eyes;
a dancing Hungarian girl;
things that seem silly to be so loved,
but these bits of who-I-am
wander with me
if you open the boxes
will the tears drown you 
or will they have dried to a salty crust

my heart is in separate pieces
cushioned by hope
perishables enclosed
contents fragile
some assembly required
handle with care


Details | Free verse | |

Opposing Lines

I can’t stand to sit…

Waiting to be included
In your anecdotes, 
The missing piece,

Yet, I love to hate…

My absent reverie,
Lost somewhere
Between oceans and mountains.

Feeling like I’m right of left…

A discombobulated mess,
Issuing faint poetry
For the sake of communion.

My heart is back to front…

Of the distance,
Smashing head-long 
Into being there.

I try to forget remembering…

What it’s like
Being among you,
And want to cry.

This wet thirstiness…

Is drowning me,
Aching for the creativity,
Waiting, sitting, standing,

While I become a squared circle.


Details | Rhyme | |

On this day of spring Original By Rabindranath Tagore

So many flowers bloom 
On this day of Spring
So many flutes are played
So many birds sing
On this day of Spring
On this day of Spring

My friend’s heart is as soft
As a little flower
Whose negligence makes it 
So terribly suffer
Why do you come to her
And try to make her laugh
The one who used to come
Now doesn’t care enough

So many flowers bloom 
On this day of Spring
So many flutes are played
So many birds sing
On this day of Spring
On this day of Spring

God please keep the happy
People always happy
And let the Spring season 
Of joy pass by smoothly
God don’t let the happy 
People see her in tears
Since they overlook her
And want to live in cheers

So many flowers bloom 
On this day of Spring
So many flutes are played
So many birds sing
On this day of Spring
On this day of Spring


Details | Free verse | |

Home Sweet Home

Home Sweet Home
My childhood home
Is cherished 

Memories filled with
Silver and gold
And sometimes pure cold.

No one told me
It would go with me
Where ever I go 

When I roam from
Town to town
I carry it with me

I open the door
Each night when
I go to sleep
And dream.

I can’t shake
What I learned
And what I didn’t 
Learn inside 
My honeycomb

I can’t stop
Moaning 
About that
Home.


Details | Narrative | |

OLD CROAKER spun me his LONG AGO tale

A friend of mine
From
Different time
Showed this youngster
The Spirit of being kind
Gentle Breath
His turn-of-the-century walking cane
Told me of his adventures
as a sprite lad through many pain:

"When the folks could afford
we would travel in my father's Ford
Dusting the roads between here and Maine
Perhaps an overnight stay over the borders of Canada's Plain
Life in the car
Home on the porch
Picnics and A&W root beer
Sun would descend over a quiet family near
But,daily routine was not always swell
Battling Turmoil of our own inner Hell
Brothers would fight and swear
Grandma,shaking and shivering over there
Ma and Pa would mediate yonder far
At early dusk,these would be put back in the Jar"

I listened to his story that he told
Surviving the years,
The Hardship,
and the World's Cold
His voice began to change
A tone of sadness that chokes
Still to entertain children who will sit
Listening to an old man's tale that evokes


Details | Rhyme | |

Heart's Weather

The black bird sat down on a branch of the tree,
Fluttering with the long wings above my head.
The sun hid away behind the peak slowly,
Leaving dreams and troubles of this day unsaid.

My empty room greeted me with faint murmur,
Curtains cut me off from curious neighbors.
The moon lit the stars; winds brought the good weather, 
Only my heart is full of clouds and showers.

Coffee in the small, fragile cup cooled long ago.
Like an insensitive stone, the phone seems to be.
My heart cries silently to express its sorrow.
Cold winds, and storms, and tearfall. It’s only me…

When the bird appears tomorrow and the sun,
When coffee cools again and my fears come back,
I’ll pray for a much more favorable season
With optimal temperature, without clouds in black.

But now I am like a spring tree that can’t blossom
For the frost inside I feel. I can’t fall asleep.
The wind strength and the rolling thunders are awesome.
Now I can only dream my forlorn dreams and weep…


Details | Free verse | |

REMEMBER?

You wouldn't like it here, Jeanie,
just look around;
funeral parlor--what a strange expression,
not at all like Mama's sitting room.
I've never seen most of these women,
must be professional mourners.
There stands Grace, acting the role,
counting how many the altar society 
will feed after your funeral mass.
Did you hear Lindy saying how natural
you look deposited there in your casket?
Hell, sweetie, I hate to say it,
but you do look quite dead.
Why don't we split and go get a brew?
I wish we could.
Can you smell the flowers?  I'm getting a headache.
I guess you don't get them anymore.
Remember how we loved yellow roses
and always had them in our gardens?
I don't like that dress you're wearing.
Remember our shopping trips to New York
when we stretched the plastic to increase our wardrobes?
Remember when we were in grade school and
found those puppies by the side of the road who
became members of our families?
Remember how you said that at your funeral
you would wear a pink wig and a red dress
and sit up and talk to everyone?
Don't I wish, Jeanie, don't I wish.


Details | Free verse | |

Before Promises Were Lies

Before our feet touched the ground
And love was asked to run, walk, but not fly
And it task to trust that which we could not see,
But only sense and feel
And dance without music, 
And against the channel of the wind

Before we could feel our hearts
Beat violently against the walls of our chest and 
Our lungs empty, dry grasping for God’ precious
Breathe

Before our legs burned from lactic acid build up
Caused by endless usage and eternal exhaustion;
Before the lightness of our selves transformed into galumph self awareness

Before all our hands could do were hang,
Limp, lifeless by our sides;
Before all our arms could only was to abstain from their expanse, 
Before the aborted forgiveness of the other; 

Before our eyes were arid from too many tears
And too much tearless-ness,
And our mouths perfused malodorous verbiages; 
And breathless profanity cut our sacred throats 
Before being hurdled at the last soft, vulnerable, defenseless tissue of the other

Before . . . when it was only God, when the sun and the moon bowed 
Before us, vessels for the gift of Divine Love, our bodies knowing 
Before our minds, egos, pride. 
Before when the universe of stars applauded our every unison breathe;
Before it was time for us to accept the gift;
We were God.


Details | Free verse | |

more and more apart

We both have much different lives,
and grow father apart as the years go by.
You were once quiet and timid
I more vocal
 to the point of obnoxious and rude 
I was the tom-boy 
you were the "prissy" one.
Seemed like even back then,
we couldn’t be more different
Back then we accepted our differences 
Sometimes reveled in them with pride.
Now days I feel defeated more than ever 
by those same differences 
Where did it all change ?
Where did we go wrong ?
Was it me ?
Or was it you ?
Not sure how we got here 
to this stagnating place 
but I miss you..
I miss us 
with all of our differences 
and all of our faults.






Details | I do not know? | |

what is it with you

    "What Is It With You?"
And The Horrible Things That You Do.
All The Same Old Problems
       Never End,
Cause You Refuse To Take The Time-
        To Mend,
Whatevers Going Wrong 
       In Your Life.
Describe You In 2 Words?
       That's Easy!
    ~Misery & Strife~

   But I Know One Day,
       You'll Find,
        & Admit 
That The Quest For Nirvana,
   Really Isn't A Myth.
Because Where Would You Run 
       & Hide,
When All Your Demons 
   Burst From Inside.
& Just Like "Christine" Un-Masked 
    The "Phantom"
You'll Find Your Fear 
     Soon Turning 
Into Dis-Satisfaction.
     And Only Being 
What You Believed 
The World Had Wanted
      You To Be.

But Why Do You Let Success Seem To Stress You?
You See Life Dealing Another Bad Hand,
Instead Of How Its Really Just Blessed You.
So, Chalk It Up To Fear Of Success,
Or You Dont You Think That You Would Do Your Best?~
When Challenged With One Of Life's Many Unexpected Test's

Instead Of Confronting Them :
       Head-On,
    Optimistically,
    & With Zest
    Living With
 A Fervent Knowledge~
     Or Belief
To Know Were All Capable
       To Do
  Exactly What It Is
 ~We Put Our Minds To~


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear Frankenstein

Have you forgotten all you taught me, Dear Frankenstein? Let me remind you Of of how we came to be this way:::... Dear Frankenstein I'd just like to say Why I finally went away From early on You taught me well About omissions and lies And doing them well An omission is not a lie I learned early on But you changed your tune When you thought I had gone You failed to instill The difference between You and me And the ants on my feet So an omission I made To you one day Because also you taught me Withholding information is key You called it a lie And stood silent for days Well guess what? You pushed me away You changed your mind When you called it a lie And a whole lot changed On that night My hero, my saint Held up so high Dear Frankenstein You fell from the sky Hit the ground Landed on your face Embrace the change Nothing can be the same Now you roam Amongst the rest With an H on your face For Hypocrite And a Hypocrite You will remain Because monsters do As they are trained In no time since then You said I'd lied Because I trusted you To see inside Silly me I made a mistake When I trusted you Again today Never again Will it happen to me Trusting you Is what dug your grave Every monster has a Frankenstein We are born as clay And shaped by your ways You wanted a liar An omit-er A tool You got what you asked for Ten fold, you fool Betrayed by your monster You sent it away And expected it would learn But return some day Stupid you You hypocrite You fool! You started digging that grave The day you taught your monster To think for itself It's own ideas to make And in translation You fell through the cracks No decision was made About who to respect Dear Frankenstein I must say I'm not sorry You pushed me away Learned a lot this time About trust and disdain Surely you know That you dug your own grave It was not me Who chose this fate Dear Frankenstein ... You made me this way.


Details | Free verse | |

Not ready at all and running scared.

All my life I have been itching to be free
Be let loose
Let go
But now, I'm not so sure
I don't know what to do
Just thinking about the day I become an adult
Scares me
How am I going to make it on my own?
How will I survive with out my mom?
She has always been there for me
Always been by my side
How am I going to do it without her
I'll have to pay my own bills
And go to work and school
And College
Its mind blowing
I wish I hadn't already lived 18 years
Half my life is gone
And what do I have to show for it
Scars and bad memories
I wish I could restart my life from the beginning 
I feel like a goldfish in the ocean.
I am not ready
Not ready at all
I'm tumbling into the ocean


Details | Free verse | |

Involuntary Release

Remember those days?
When you though I’d let go
Of the love that I had found
In you, I believed in myself;
The dreams that made me smile
Continue to befall upon my conscience.

Then, suddenly, we were lost;
No map for the memories
We kept for each other;
It is gone but
Why does forever last so long?
It doesn't seem to exist anymore.

A sight not to be seen
By sore hearts that silently
Cry in the night;
Remember those days
When we used to act 
The pages of our lives?
So pure in our thoughts
But never perfect.

So when can we see
The broken shards fly
Out of existence, once more;
It used to be so easy
Leaving the bygones in refuge;
The logics are befuddled by
The wondering mind working overtime
To save the strays of justice.

What momentary gesture 
Lurks behind those orbs of emotion?
Is it too hard to ask
To contain the rabid fear
Maddening the black lies, forlorn;
Throw away the forsaken gratitude
Of a happy life now morbid.

Here, take it back;
No more, no lack
Of intimacy shall cut
Through the skin sewn shut.
You were a fever
Destined to haunt forever
The tidings of my heart.
Lest I tear you apart,
I will remain
Bound by your chain,
Condemned by the both of us.


Details | Verse | |

The Grass Is Cut

I can see you dancing on the lawns, innocence, 
laughing, running, arms carefree and unabashed.
Your vision holds me, as if held in a moment of such 
happiness and magic that I can barely think to breath.
But as a distant sound breaks my dream, I feel the 
emptiness once more.
No warmth of a breeze can break my fall from that high 
place.
How then should someone address their loneliness 
when all that was their life has gone from their touch.
When all that changed them from nothing to something 
has itself turned to nothing but for an aching love.
It cannot be left by the bed in the morning when you 
wake and picked up again at a time of nostalgia,
or left downstairs when you ascend the steps at night 
in hope of sleep.
It is you and it is your love... it is what you have 
and it is why you are.... 
Emptiness ... fullness of feeling... it is because 
they were... and they still are.


Details | Lyric | |

Simply Too

Choke down another cigarette
Just like the taste of your lips
Break down another bottle
Just to make you disappear

Shadows and imprints are all that remain
Of what used to be a future kept in the past

Change the channel
Blink passed the picture
Desolate soul, anguished heart
So, let's tease a little more

Shadows and imprints are all that remain
Of what used to be a future kept in the past

So much time wasted
So much love hated
So many lies displayed for truth
So sorry, so sorry

But shadows and imprints are all that remain
Of what you said was a future you kept in the past


Details | I do not know? | |

Titantic Life

we're all just dancing on the deck of our own Titantic
 
some about to swim in the Pacific
 
others about to drown in the Atlantic
 
some staring up into the sky
 
thinking how tiny the world is
 
others thinking it's gigantic
 
some of us are running for our lives
 
some are saving our children and wives
 
some are rearranging the chairs
 
some are walking elegantly down the stairs
 
some are playing a beautiful tune
 
some are staring up at the beautiful moon
 
some are looking down below
 
some are climbing into lifeboats and beginning to row
 
some are worrying about what will be
 
some are grateful for what once was
 
some are praying
 
while others are playing
 
many are crying
 
as others are cheating and lying
 
a few are treasuring the beautiful view
 
staring at the beauty inside of me and you
 
ready for a new life and ready to start anew


Details | Haiku | |

I Remember

Labor Day
honoring those served
with remembrence







Tribute To
Fallen Soldiers
    R.I.P.


Details | I do not know? | |

Unchanging Penitence


Love + me will always = pain.

Disappointments and knowledge are the results I gain.

Mending gradually yet the heart remains the same.

Closets are filled to capacity with no vacancy to place the blame.

I hate myself, this flesh never seems to redeem.

Outward appearances capture strangers' eyes; their conjured reflections evade my dreams.

I'm not good enough; I will never be seen for who, not what, I truly am.

Perfection, requirements, and preferences overwhelm me like a dam.

Scars, bruises, and blemishes leave their mark.

Constant remainders chipping away at me like tree bark.

Beating myself emotionally, physically, mentally has left confusion; sensations numb.

Damaged beyond repair; I'm an invisible shadow. No sense of place or time.

Just a faceless phantom.

No matter what people do to me for it will never come close as to what I do to myself on the inside.

I'll return to that broken mirror forever trying to piece that which I've lost.....a shattered image.

Refusing to accept that part of me has died.

But I'll keep right on coming; believing the lies.

.


Details | Lyric | |

Big Sister

If her pain serves to please you
She is all out of words
If her joy won’t amuse you
Her trust will be reserved
She’s begun to realise
That she’s not all at fault
Deep beneath those hate-filled words
She sees your true revolt

Oh such verbal skill you have
Howls harsh reality
As deep beneath the silence
Screams your veracity
Buried ashes of someone
Who hasn’t even wilted
She’s still alive, so don’t give up
Connections are just jilted

Wade through the stupidity
of your churlish stubborn ways
That negative energy
To get you through the days
Rummage for responses
Slave labour you can keep
Contagious as those bitter words
Adrenaline pumps deep

Pull in those reigns that haunt you
Take off your amour now
Bite your nails down to the quick
This hurt you should allow
Be sorry, please recognise
All those wasted chances
Now they’re gone, and it’s too late
All-in wicked glances
Comments shoot straight to the bone
Leave scars the blades so sharp
Immune to those words she’s known
Leave pin pricks in her heart

To peel away in the heat
Leave her raw and exposed
Naked, pour out empty threats
Words are super imposed
Skin etches out the journey
Grows each autumn and spring
Overbearing bitterness 
Twisted comments brewing
You will not admit but some days you miss her
Your partner in crime, your big sister


Details | Verse | |

Picture

I do not picture the brown-eyed sadness,
  Pools of hazel windblown on the heath,
Any more than I picture the days of childhood,
  Less than idyllic pastures spread beneath.

On some soft corner of a sun-bleached street,
  Or at some still patch of disused railway line,
I feel and glimpse the vivid life before,
  The picture-perfect visions caught in time.

The waterfall on the heads of the valley road,
  Black pipes upon the pinnacles of brick,
Rainbows in the spray that rushed and fell,
  To rock-pools where the rocks lay black and slick.

Or the sinkholes in the field filled up with rain,
  The fireworks in the bottles in the grass,
The bikes with three speed gears that were rode
  As effortless as time in racing past.

The rope tied to the bough out in the lane,
  Swinging, spinning, feet dragged in the dirt,
Laughter at the foolish slapstick plunge
  When falling down seemed hardly ever hurt.

I do so picture the green-eyed aching,
  When times of longing for those days remain,
I simply love the error of my ways,
  And wish to do all of those things again.


Details | Rhyme | |

Greeting Tomorrow

My love-jaded heart will no longer respond to the sound
Of whispering raindrops in fall or a train passing by.
I've got brand new wings, yet so frail; I lose touch with the ground
To take to my fantasy velvet mysterious sky.

I'm fine in my bulletproof shell and I quit endless waiting
Like quitting an old nasty habit and moving ahead,
Exploring the worlds that my own deft mind is creating;
Old passion's extinguished along with one more cigarette. 

Whenever I light one, its taste and its sweet bitter flavor
Remind me of sharing a kiss I imagined that spring;
If only that winter I'd been just a little bit braver,
This all would have come to the same tragic end in a blink.

The guise in the mirror of spring is a blear reflection
Of somebody already dead and forgotten at all
Yet standing the very last chance for the heart's resurrection;
I swear I'm back on my feet, you may shoot, I won't fall.

The past is all gone, so one day I'll forget to remember
And gladly discover I've chosen nothing to keep,
Awaiting another July and another December;
And now it's time to put down my pen and just sleep.

What dreams are to haunt me, I wonder? Next morning I'll know,
My mind is still blank as I'm totally sober toight;
My desperate thoughts and my fears are letting me go,
I'm ready to enter the kingdom of misty midnight.

I'm ready to enter the gates of tomorrow now,
Today is a legend and yesterday - just a mistake. 
I'm crossing the line, I will make it all through anyhow,
Just happy to live and to breathe every morning I wake.


Details | Blank verse | |

The Hospital Trilogy Part Three - Bedlam No More

Now hushed bleak sterile corridors
recall the cries, laughter and tears
of those once termed insane;
all is still now. 
Rooms behind forbidding windows,
shutters slam-dance lazily in the breeze;
all is empty. 
No actual cells, no straw on cruel stone floors
or padded walls,
reality is cracked linoleum and Formica;
all is quiet. 
The local Bedlam towers black,
decaying dead slumber,
etched against a red-tinged horizon. 
No movement now within the confines
of her walls,
other than upon the evenings of the
Autumnal moon, when perhaps
resonances of the past send strange
drifting spectres to walk the balconies
and pace the grey great hall,
acting out the bygone dramas of this home,
this refuge, Asylum. 
Those who would dare to 
venture here
on such tragi-comic nights would see;
but no one comes here and no one sees
and all too few care or understand,
for all that is past are now dead memories,
and all that is to follow
is the truest madness... 


Details | Narrative | |

First Love

A collection of love letters in a heart shaped box
that I kept for many years,
reminding me of the times we met in secret,
and moments we spent in your loving arms
wrapped up like a gift in your embrace.

I have never forgotten your smiling face,
and your romantic charms,
or the butterfly kisses traced on my lips.

We parted in youth going our separate ways,
I thought of you often for many days and lonely nights,
wishing you would of stayed from memory to reality.

All I have left in this red velvet box,
with satin lining ,and emotional thoughts
are those wonderful times  of remembrance.


Details | Rhyme | |

If you want to improve,

   don't be afraid to be foolish and stupid    (Heroditus)

When I first met her
     I knew there was something
     she gave me

     a spontaneous drumroll
     ascending to creative spirit

     she gave me
     passion petals
            potential riddles
and     irrasistable dreams

a hallelujah in my heart

     could she hear it?

she gave me
     hopefull hump into the night
always delivered 
                with style
like jousting with a flying kite

wholding energy all the while,

she gave me
     supernatural second sightings
     continual cocktail lightenings
     whirling dizzying dance exclusions
     all leading to this conclusion:

I was half - glass empty
     bored
     drunk and crazy
when she appeared,
I was darkly deep
            down where there is only silence
I was alone personified
            until our alliance
Alone with just my dog
            and weekend child
So simple a life, so mild

I never would have guessed
     she was to be my wife

An exotic beauty with twinkle
                             and belly dance
of fine gratuity
     she soaked me        entranced

                                   like a sponge in the 
                                                          starving Sun
(I had truly thought She was the ONE!!)

she gave me
     wringing hands around
                           midnight,
bottleneck bands
      of anxious light,
everfalling hourglass sands
seemingly never hitting
                                    bottom,
burried under legless hands
and an empty drawer
                                   full of condoms,
she gave me
     superflous frustration
     rafting hills of insecure persperation

     nervous to even be 
     alone
     with my solitary self

     atop my pre determined destination

                                       on Susana's Shelf


Details | Tanka | |

Triple Tanka-CHANGING COLORS AND MOODS

Green was the color
which my sight beheld for long,
now trees turn auburn
setting a melancholic mood...
mourning the liveliness gone.


Lofty, dense mountains
tower hills with grapes and pumpkins
as their aroma spreads;
these cliffs suited for olive groves...
won't protect them from a storm.


Thoughts intensify,
foreseeing winter's sadness,
noticing the wise ants
storing food before snow comes...
this image makes one ponder. 


 


Details | Free verse | |

Heaven, in longing

I could never learn to forget
how you could wear beautiful
like a casually thrown on sweater,
or the days we blew smoke together, 
till the world seemed brighter
from your humble apartment;
believing we could once
touch the sun, heaven in longing.
So we reached skyward with outstretched hands
and received nothing more for our trouble
than burnt fingers
that could no longer hold on
as the days blew away from us, like smoke on the wind


Details | Narrative | |

SCARCE HARVEST

War World II was raging over this
southern Italian town* spared by a miracle...
a deluge that suddenly occurred: 
a night of blasting sounds, of rising flames 
as American planes bombarded its buildings;
the Nazis fled to occupied Naples.
In the North, the Fascits were executed,
as the Dictator Mussolini himself was. 


The farms could not be furrowed deep and neat,
fear hung over the farmers' shoulders;
and wheat couldn't grow abundantly to make bread,
and brazen women to a distant granary they went, 
risking their lives to grind the wheat kernels;
they were no young men in town, or the older ones
who had gone to war for a concept so deceptive.
Many youngsters and soldiers were kidnapped by the Nazis, 
to be taken to Germany as prisoners of war...who would have 
challenged the Third Reich, or disobeyed?


Old women with handkerchiefs on their heads, weeping loudly
and mourning the tranquil town it once was...so lovely and happy, 
and their cry was too bitter and inconsolable to be hushed;
now, even bread was taken away from them,
damning the cruel Duce, who had betrayed them for vanity...
why did he bring prosperity to Africa, not to Italy?
Why was his ego so manipulated by Hitler's cleverness...
that he could have conquered peoples and lands?


Ruins and dead kindred...a scenery of dread and abomination,
and the lively memory of begonias on their sunny balconies 
brought a sweet nostalgia in an hour of horror and death;
and gathered among the crumbled walls, their rosaries  
recited with graceful whispers, gave them 
the strength and the courage to desperately grieve:
"Peace, o beloved peace, have you overlooked
the kindness of such humble and honorable spirits?
 

Darkness brought the silence they had sought under the glittering skies,
to hide the ugliness of the war in their gloomy shadows,
never to reveal the devastation of their town;
and with the new sun rising, hope would have been 
renewed in the sunrise's lasting glow.
They would have seen those wheat golden kernels 
bend under their heavy weight and bow.... 
and heard themselves saying," Mercy, o mercy
of our righteous God, let prosperity abound...
as the misty rain slowly comes down!"   

Southern Italian Town:  Baiano

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Rhyme | |

Baby I cant forget you

Baby I can’t forget your face
Baby I can’t forget your grace.

Baby I can’t forget your smiles
I can’t forget your sexy styles.

Baby I can’t forget your eyes
I can’t forget our fruitless tries.

Baby it’s just cause and effect
We are like iron and magnet.


Details | Cowboy | |

Circles Made of Stone

As we journey wide in life
On strange ranges far from home,
We often stop and ponder
Old burnt circles made of stone.

They are last meager remnants
Of some campfire long ago—
Where pards and tired travelers
Would share a hot cup of joe.

The fire would blaze but briefly
Then be just smoke as they’d part—
To rise again down the trail
Where another fire would start.

Yes, they’d slowly gather rocks
And form that new ring of stone—
Build a blaze to ease the night,
So they’d not be all alone.

But those days are mostly gone
With stone circles left behind—
Cowboys seldom come this way
And good pards are hard to find.

And while fires now seem to die
And a cold north wind does moan—
There’s always comfort in a fire
In our circle made of stone.

And so we all go our way,
Build rings all the farther—
Honor roots and family,
But most of all, our Father.

Yes, now we’ve come full circle—
Return to earth as it lays—
A circle of completion—
Like brief dust of earthly days.


Details | Rhyme | |

Bittersweet Reverie

My soul's eyes look upon the past,
and see hers meet mine for the first time;
I watch as our love's die is cast,
as the bells signaling our fates chime.

I watch as the fires within us ignite,
as everything we will be finds its beginnings;
this love at first sight burns ever so bright,
making our hearts rejoice at their lofty winnings.

I watch every passionate, yet tender
moment flow by, again kindling my emotions;
to her, I watch myself surrender,
diving into her love's boundless oceans.

I watch as we smile,
as we laugh and love.
We were convinced this would last awhile;
that this was ordained far above.

Then, we foundered, led ourselves astray;
her passion whisked away as if by a thief.
At this, I strive to look away,
to turn my gaze from this pain and grief.

But no man can shy away from the truth
of what he had and what he's lost.
He must forever contend with the mistakes of youth,
tears shed in vain and pain his cost.

Therefore I watch as the embers die,
as she turns away, headed for that door.
I watch as what I thought would be our life goes awry;
as we fade away, becoming no more.

I watch as she sheds
herself of what we were, gives up on me;
I watch as she tears into shreds
the heart I gave to her, and scatters the debris.

At length, after much introspection
I begin to wonder and muse;
if I had a chance to go back and make a correction,
what would I do to prevent these blues?

Would I try to discover the source
of her disaffection and our loss;
or would I simply plot a new course
from the start, never letting our stars cross?

They say that it's better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all;
but my disconsolate heart thinks that this has glossed
over the true depth of a spent heart's fall.

The beaten, weary soul knows not whether to pay heed
to the maxims of those dead and gone;
knows not whether to concede
that there might indeed someday be a new dawn.

At long last I reach the end of this vision,
the tragic finale of this bittersweet reverie.
The sad reality settles on me, of our division;
no greater agony exists in my memory.


Details | I do not know? | |

Eternal wind

Eternal wind, a soul’s desire
Thou come along with heavy waves
That makes the mortal bizarre
For you are happiness and you are pain
You come when we desperately yearn 
For a companion to keep the inner tame
Your camouflage, for us are above to learn


Eternal wind, our best and worst friend
Before us, your sides are two
Your empowering side we crave
Each passing day of our confused lives
But your sharp edge we beg
That you smite us not, with your unpopular fury
As we sleep in ignorance of a myth once told


Eternal wind our master and servant
Our liberation we beg for in happy pain
 For we are tired of being tenants
In your house of shame and unaware sufferance
Smite us not eternal wind, for you made us weak
Carry us to our humble abode without rage
Where again we can drink from the grail of life


Details | I do not know? | |

Nostalgia

My love’s fictional
Truly once found it.
Fate’s casted its division.

My life’s depiction
Truly once manifested,
Time’s implied its imprisonment.

My world’s real,
Truly once serene,
Mind’s revealed its darkness.


Details | Rhyme | |

Why Icecream Soup

my ears are stuffed
with pretty lies
my heart consumed
by butterflies
hear your words
watch your eyes
deep within
it signifies
the end of days
where i was found
hollowed and marked
tightly bound
bloody chains
broken bones
wounds left open
unthrown stones
lashing out
to save my skin
they told me why
but never when
this world unloved
for there are no hearts
if you still have yours
sell its parts
believe in fantasy
decieving stares
they locked me up 
and no one cares
my angel wings 
reflect the light
and keep away
the chills of night
angel of death
see me again
tell me why
but never when


Details | Free verse | |

Pain's Anthem

I listen to new music,
I enjoy its thrill;
those moments of release, when a guitar riff
or drum solo unravels your soul, 
loosens your grip on stress
and pierces its haze, taking you away.

But there are some songs
that instead take me back, make things worse;
those piano-fueled slow songs and orchestral harmonies
just bring back things best left put away;
the swelling melodies rip apart any progress I've made
in recovering from the past.

When I hear a soft, emotional voice
or the mournful cry of a violin,
raw memories flood to the fore,
and thus am I stricken;
the sorrowful ballad and the love song become
the soundtrack to my heartache.


Details | Quatrain | |

SITTING BY THE OCEAN

The countless flights of noisy seagulls
seem like my days once idled away,
sitting by the ocean appeasing the relentless loneliness of my blues...
beyond that horizon, so traveled by ships, another sunset faded away.


Being brought here by destiny's hasteness,
I am unable to return to my adored land...
hinderd by unknown forces more devastating than summer's violent storms and hurricanes;
even the gentlest breeze can erase those memories still imprinted into the smooth sand. 


Springs have been short and winters last much longer, 
and only the red Lighthouse surrenders to darkness;
the gelid winds of the North batter the snow-decorated docks making the waves rise higher;
this calm harbor resembles a Norvegian fiord from where the Vikings left in small vessels.


Serenity is deeply felt, but not readily greeted as in other milder seasons,
and I can endure the harshness of any winter day with this heavy coat...
the cold and hungry beggar could use it and keep herself warm and sleep peacefully at night;
where's she? I've been sitting by the ocean, she hasn't come to melt away my frozen tears!


Details | Verse | |

A Fly in a Web

I’m running towards you
You’re pushing away
In the dark
Where you left me
I’ll stay

You’re stuck on her
But you’re all I have left
Her touch isn’t one you forget

Did you spin her the web you spun me?
Promises to make the future a reality.

Were they hers before they were mine?
An empty house
A restless mind

Then I came along
You found a distraction
But you know the future

Isn’t what the past was.


Details | Narrative | |

Situational Awareness Is The Undying Key

Disregard for effect
In the eye of the beholder
We sit in dire need
As the looks grow colder
Abandoned out here
At the horizon’s end 
We sleep all alone
With nothing to defend

The dreams come
But at what cost
When the lack there of
Has found us lost
The heart grows fond
In times of resistance
For reality lost touch
And with it our existence

But is that enough
To stand all alone
For solitude draws deep
Turning expressions to stone
The deals are dealt 
And dreams fell short
Where do I go from here
When every step I distort?


Details | Free verse | |

Yellow Bananas (Part I)

Today it rained.  It poured.
 	Making several trips from Vicki's dorm room to pack her car with her 
belongings and our memories, we got drenched, even with our raincoats on.  As 
we finished and stood by her car, I saw tears, unhindered by rain, stream down 
her face.  I drew nearer when she said, "Stacey, I miss you already," and we held 
each other in a long firm, yet tender, embrace, as we had done so many times 
before.
     	"I L.O.V.E. U," we would whisper and sign and point the two fingers at 
one another.  Then, she would disappear through the Student Center's "Smooch 
Room", and I would return to Robert's Hall.	
                     In the Student Center is where we met through a mutual friend.  Vicki 
stood about 4'11" with short frosted sandy brown hair.  She had small hands and 
feet, but the biggest most beautiful smile with bright blue eyes.  I had a boxed 
haircut and stood 5' 10"- 6' 2" with the hair.  We were introduced and then sat on 
a sofa. Though barely acquainted, we opened up to one another.  She allowed 
me to help her through some trying times she faced within her family, and she 
gave me advice and support in my present relationship.  Day and night we began 
spending more time together.  Our lives began grafting into one life; naturally and 
without force, we took on each other's interests- music, events, jokes, scriptures, 
television, her attraction to yellow...
                    Vicki loved the color yellow, and she liked bananas.  She didn't eat 
them, but she would peel one (or two) for me everyday in the cafeteria.  (Some 
thought it was suggestive.)  She pretended to be upset if I ever peeled it myself, 
so I would get another one for her.  Then we would go spend quality and 
quantities of time together, publicly and privately.  We felt it was purely platonic.


Details | Acrostic | |

BETRAYAL

BETRAYAL

Behaving one way in front of the eyes of another and behaving 
in a complete different manner in front of the eyes of others.

Evil intentions acted out towards a confidant for the good of 
one’s self and for the defeat of your confidant.

Twisting of the knife in the back of another,
bringing death to the trust of that relationship.

Returning to a relationship as if nothing significant 
happened while you were away, knowing that hell will 
come when they finally discover what you did when 
their back was turned.

Acting out fantasies that you’ve played in your head over and over, 
knowing that those actions will cause you to pay a big price.

You choose to satisfy your own cravings and desires, 
without any caution to the feelings and consequences 
they will have on others.

Asking one to forgive the unforgiveable and smile when doing it.

Lying to your trusted loved one to please your 
own self serving desires or needs.




Details | Free verse | |

Tick

Morning's little
hands reach
out and
wipe away
o
n
e
single
tear
(with the burn of ten
thousand)
and reveal
yours
(for
inspiration, and
endurance)
as I
try to
rise


Details | I do not know? | |

Guilt

Dust claps its hands 
in swirls of descent. Fear unearthed, 
the soil of the skin disturbed. 
Sweat burns as it kisses you. 
The air is drowning me, my chest constricts 
beneath the strain of a serpent. 
The hinges of my neck, rotted 
and dropped, flesh hanging like fruit. 
The body silent, reflecting in its depth 
mistakes. scars that cling, peach tarnished 
with oil, dripping like the fur of a cat 
from a terrified face. Eyes moisten, guilt 
penetrates.


Details | Rhyme | |

Then As Now

I gaze across the dampened street,
shading my eyes from the harsh, orange glare
of the lamplight that keeps me awake and aware;
I watch the rain come down, hear its inexorable beat.

Sometimes it soothes, invigorates.
Other times, like now, it makes me reminisce;
sending my thoughts into their reclusive abyss,
from whence the past captivates.

I remember, one night long ago,
a boy grieved the loss of his faithful ally,
the dog who was his standby
in times of dread; and forever gone was her glow.

Even back then I sat on this step amid the deluge,
and in the dancing swirls on the ground
I watched the image of her head come 'round,
the shadow of her still with me seeking refuge.

Now on this stormy, chaotic night,
a man grieves the loss of his life, his purpose;
the woman who meant all, who loved him only on the surface,
and now she steals away her light.

Yet still I remain here as the sky weeps,
envisioning our first kiss, here, in a similar downpour.
I watch again our first embrace, before
the fire grows cold, before our love sleeps.

Then as now my companion disappears,
one to ease her pain, one of her own volition;
through rain's trance I see each apparition,
piercing me like spears.

Then as now the tears fall
without restraint and of their own accord,
remembrance striking a painful chord
that echoes long in this soul's broken hall.


Details | Lyric | |

Mental Masochism

Welcome to the old you Hello, Hello, Despair so Crude, Dreams are gone Yet we still follow the old Path Where empathy kills And the Sympathy we find is another Lie You were born to deceive A puppet-master of emotion Back off this fixation while you have a chance Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Sorrow-- My Emotional High Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Better to be Frozen than Numb Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Exchange pleasure for pain It's all coming t you The facade of Joy falls again Violet Hearts crush easy Your Pain you don't Want this Your Sorrow, You Want This Back off this fixation while you have a chance Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Sorrow-- My Emotional High Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Better to be Frozen than Numb Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Back off this fixation while you have a chance Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Sorrow-- My Emotional High Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Better to be Frozen than Numb Who Would Want To Be This Cold?


Details | Quatrain | |

THE FEAR OF DYING

Youth seemed an eternal joy
for a gorgeous and happy boy...
no worries over necessities,
with desires without sequence.


The fear of dying was far from pondering,
only beautiful days ahead for the youngest heart....
longing for a tenderness other teenagers never sought,
and sometimes sleeping away the afternoons was invigorating. 


Like glass sheding water, his soul was pure and epic
and he never shook his fist to seek revenge;
he never shillied to shin a tall tree with panic...
always used pragmatism whenever on perilous edge.


He lives miserably, living on a day-to-day existence,
but the fear of dying is to exemplify weakness,
not to exert himself and to better before he hits dead-end;
yesterday God was his sunrise, now that light is glimmering instead.


He justifies his misfortunes with an inadequate story,
while his friends enjoy a happy life, he frolics like a sky-lark 
feeding on what people discard in a garbage pail daily...
and weeps occasionaly, instead of coming out of the  dark.


Details | Free verse | |

Memory Maker

Tear me off a piece of truth
from gangly memories of your youth
to show me solidarity 
and snap my cheeks in crimson

Take me on a silver ride
with muscled horses in their stride
absorb the impact of their feet
and glisten me with snow

Lift the veil from off my eyes
and wonder me with sweet surprise
a pocket full of candy cash
to spend in revelry

Break the silence of your past
and sweep the shadows, haunted, cast
to whisk the future in it's ebb
to hold my hand forever...


Details | Ode | |

Ode Homestead

Visiting with memories 
Childhood days, thoughts remembered, 
Things of me that used to be. 

House that's aged, weathered and grayed -  
I feel its splintering pain; 
Watching me as we all played. 

Elements she held at bay; 
Her walls hold cherished secrets; 
Creaky floors gave me away. 

Love has gone, home lost it's shine. 
Here I sit, this last recall, 
Earth to earth, dust to dust, pine. 

Once I left she lost her spring. 
Her heartbeat beat its last breath 
No more a home but a thing. 

Memories stand strong as she 
Reigned her years; everyone's gone 
Moving on as it should be. 

Thanks to you my ode homestead, 
I grew up secure and loved 
And trips to the wood shed. 

My heartfelt tears have a smile; 
Emotions, both joy and sad; 
New owners, life's worthwhile.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Woman In The Mirror

I look into the morror at this woman 
Who's drowned in tears for freedom
Freedom from inner pain
That has seized her with chains
Seized her for too many years
And now she wants to disappear

I dry her tears and comfort her
Telling everything will be better
Everything will soon change
All she needs is some courage
Courage to face and stand
'Cause change lies in her hands

She wants to fly away
Make a new life there and stay
Where she can get rid of her pain and anger
Where she can be happy forever
But she thinks she won't be able to make it
'Cause pain is forbidding her to stand on her feet

She wants to live no more
'Cause nothing is left to live for
If she can't be happy then why to live
In life she no more believes
She knows nothing is going to be alright
And to die she has made up her mind

But i hold her back and ask for patience
And that soon she will see the difference
Though i know she's right and i'm wrong
All i'm trying is to make her strong
But the truth i just can't ignore
Got to let it go, can't fool myself no more


Details | I do not know? | |

Transience

Transience 
I woke up one day,
From deep, sweet slumber,
A long day's stay,
The oblivion of slumber...

My world was beautiful,
Tall trees, green leaves,
Never would I grieve,
My world was beautiful..

The flowers bloomed,
In the youthful spring,
Young brids took wing,
Over my head, they loomed.

Soon, it all disappeared,
Into the thin, unseen air,
Would it ever reappear,
From the unreal air?

I sat all alone,
In a dark, dark world,
The beauty, all had gone,
From my beautiful world..

I sobbed, I cried,
For the world I once knew;
But as each day died,
I knew I'd be gone too..


Details | Free verse | |

Alice in Wander land

I wish we could stay in this moment. Of falling. Forever. but. we ran ahead of ourselves. To fast. we Stumble. To the ground. The same mistake. Mistaken. Again. we walk. Our separate ways. Aching. And. Alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Our Union

Our Union
	
My eyelashes bat 
After meeting your gaze
From across a 
Crowded subway haze.
 
My pupils dilate when they
Look back at you over dinner
Where we drank wine and ate.
 
My feet dance with glee as we
Fall hopelessly in love 
In the midst of summer heat.
 
My heart splits apart 
To become your wife
And your forever sweetheart.
 
My legs spread 
Open to bare new life
And see your cheeks rosen.
 
My arms push 
You away at night,
I'm too tired for a sex life.
 
My fists rage and tears pour,
When I discover your arms
Embracing another lover
After coffee one early morn.
 
My ears listen to 
Your words of regret and
Pleads for a second chance
For things to be like
When we first met.
 	
My fingers dial 
Seeking third party counsel
To repair our shattered union.
 
My brain waves 
Shift to understand your
Thoughts and your feelings, 
While I bitterly convey my own.
 
My hand re-opens 
To forgive your sins
And make amends.
 
My lips part to 
Receive your kiss in the
Night in a sea of 
Skin in our warm bed.
 
My heart flutters, 
We’ve truly become one,
Years after we bore our son.


Details | Personification | |

My Mother will not curse me

Mother, your insanity is my blessing!

Your cry, like a creaking door,
Opens to a lawn of sour,
Your eyes, like a flame of candle,
Pierce to my heart that fails to handle.

And, your insanity is my blessing!

Because, I am not a son of your dream,
The essence that dripped out of the cream,
The life that burns as a wooden window,
The deep woods that drenched with heavy shadow,

Mother, I am not a son of your dream.

The dream of becoming a morning dew,
A song that moves a failing crew,
A dawn, a dusk and a poem with lovely words,
A canoe in search of unknown world,

And, I am not a son of your dream.

See, I am a warrior of a loosing battle,
The blood was washed through the rains that clatter,
I see the children playing on the streets,
I do not know, is it sickle or flowers for them to treat?
 
I am not a son of your dream and still away from your curse,
Mother, your insanity is my blessing!.


Details | Acrostic | |

Andalous Windstorm

I saw you in my room last night
and you always used to grow cold
when you felt the ceiling fan cool your skin
I remembered when we used to talk
and share our memories
You of morocco 
and mine of a morocco that never was 
I had a wedding dress on and I was standing 
somewhere in a hallway in Marrakesh
You had that life and you lost it
I never got that life and lost it as well.
I can smell the smoke of flames gone past 
and songs never sung
And I loved you that December 
Even though you were never mine
Cruel but innocent man with a face so soft
I never lost you my Moroccan cause I never 
possessed you 
But that's what made you so pretty
lying but honest heart thief


Details | Free verse | |

1:23 am

Afraid of the rain, I don’t want to be... I’ve emptied Pandora’s Box on my bed.
It’s 1: 23 and I didn’t mean to do it. How could I do it again?
 How stupid you must be…
I just want to cry, I don’t want get out bed, but I do.
 Because I was ready for once in my life…devastated, strung-out.

I looking at the compact, I see the rain out of my mirror. I'm strapped to an image, 
of something that was foraged. 
I just wanted to love you again. Wanted to be pure in someone eyes. 
I’ve soled my soul for it, 
A zombie, machinery that’s in love with you.

Seeing you from cross the platform, kissing and hugging, someone that should 
be me,
Was it me? 
Its 1:23, my heart just stopped, figuring it’s figment of my imagination. Who would 
have known? Who would have believed? 
It’s 1:23 and I’m hurt, and I think everybody knows. I can’t close my heart, 
I tried to see this optimistically.
“I’ll just wait for him to come around”, but the rain is coming now.

Mixing ebony skin, so much he and she became invisible, 
I’m creditable, and it’s not enough for you anymore,
Look at all that rain! Watching the ground flood through my clouded eyes,
In the middle of storm, it’s 1:23, walking off the platform, down the stairs,
With your love as a painful memory, that the frightful rain is my only friend.    


Details | I do not know? | |

When the dreams don't move

There are some days like this, 
when the dreams don't move, 
and the hope is far away, 
and the present is black 
When I come back to the past to find my rainbow. 
I open the old box of my happy memories and I try to paint my thoughts with 
colors. 
The colors that I try so many years to keep alive 
For my colorless poor days. 

Copyright Constantinos Grigoriadis © All rights reserved


Details | Rhyme | |

I havent forgotten

I haven’t forgotten when I meet you first!
I haven’t forgotten when I greet you last!
I haven’t forgotten your pretty face!
I haven’t forgotten your smile and grace!

I haven’t forgotten how we started chatting!
I haven’t forgotten when we started dating!
I haven’t forgotten our last walk together!
I haven’t forgotten how I became a loser!

I haven’t forgotten how it became too late!
I haven’t forgotten when I understood fate!
I haven’t forgotten that summer’s northwester!
I haven’t forgotten and won’t forget ever!


Details | Verse | |

The Daughter

Today I lived my life with ghosts
Both living and dead
Your face, their face
Slipped through my fingers and fell to the floor
Hundreds of pictures of you and them
Hundreds of moments and moments and moments
Too numerous and caught in that web of time
Dangled on a cobweb so thin, so fine
It could break but does not snap
And lasts and lasts
And holds and holds
All there, suspended in that instant
Before falling to the floor,
Or in the box of memories. To be kept.

So where do you reside, in the bin or the box?
Where do you live for future’s worth?
Will you be cut adrift or salvaged in those stepping stones to the past.

And yet, she still picked up those photos of you 
Pained and dulled
Still confused and stabbed by what has happened over time.
She saw your face and paused. Reflected.
She then gently collected up those images of you and me
And saved them in the box
One day for all to see in times to come.
She decided not to put you in the bin.
Unlike me.

She rescued her childhood.
Put down a marker in the sand
And said stop to the sea
To the waves and waves
That break over time and pain
Saved you from the blankless pile of Venice and Florence
And Christmas and beaches and Barbies and laughter
And with a simple dignity 
She gave you back some worth.




Details | Free verse | |

Illusions

Slipping in and out of sleep.
I'm not feeling too aware.
But oh I could swear
I felt your lips on my neck
and your hand on my cheek.

A shiver down my spine
Lets me think you may be near
Sleeping by my side
I could swear I hear you breathing 
or is this only in my mind?

I can still smell you on my skin
And taste you on my lips
The steam on the windows 
is a tell tale sign
I could swear you were real this time

But in between awake and asleep
Still not to aware
But vivid with dreams
My illusions feel so real
I could swear you'd never leave.


Details | Rhyme | |

When?

When shall we meet again
To share a stolen hour?
When shall we meet again 
In our own secret bower?
When shall we meet again
To shower kiss after kiss?
When shall we meet again
For our sweet moments of bliss?
When shall we meet again
To embrace with caress and sighs?
When shall we meet again
To claim love's richest prize?

The sea may stand in our way,
The sea may flow without end,
Time may be our enemy,
Time may be our friend.

Time and tide may keep us far apart,
But we both live on in the other's heart.


Details | I do not know? | |

pleading

so basically i got killed today
when my father choked and my cat ran away
the doctors ran out of lives to save
and the shows on t.v. were incredibly lame
the smell of my house was strong like butane
i wanted to go to the park today
but people were there and the kids were insane
i saw a really cute boy downtown yesterday
but he smiled and his teeth weren't perfectly straight
i thought about brushing my teeth today
but it didn't seem worth it to deal with the taste
so i chewed on some floss and drank all day
my coffee this morning was dark roast with equate
so it was bitter and gross and incredibly great
my mom's gonna move to the country today
where the cows all get eaten and the horses are tamed
the tap of a shoe and the drag of a cane 
as an old man rocks on his chair all day
i don't understand how the middle of may
can feel as gloomy as a cold winters day
and people will sink to their knees and pray
that god will make their lives better some day.


Details | I do not know? | |

One Day

We've been through
Roughening waves,
But we sat and never threw
Ourselves out of furious rave.

One day my heart
Will be glad that
We haven't yet fallen apart
And are not as sad as before.

Our time was like a boat...
No matter where we went,
Our time was well spent,
Even while we continuously float.

One day you'll be as happy
As you were in that rural place.
We'll together repair our broken vase.
You and I were inseparable friends...

So I wished it didn't end.
Our bond has been fragile
For quite some while.
I've been thinking of ridding it...

Though I know
I'll resolve it all somehow.
So I hope you will accept the flora
I shall give to you one day...


Details | I do not know? | |

Feel Blue

Feel blue
How true
I miss you.

Feel blue
Out of hue
I wish you knew.

Feel blue
Much too soon
Away from you.

Feel blue
For too long
Without you.


Details | Free verse | |

Paragon

Poem 1

I'm sick of trying to apologize and
sick of trying to make things better when all I do is
make things worse
and I'm
sicksicksick
but it's still the only medicine and it still 
gets me high
so I'll keep vomiting up excuses
to talk to you
andandand there's always something more
It
Never
Ends
Which is just what I said to you before

Poem 2

Maybe you did think of me that day
February 7 2011
maybe you thought of me and maybe
you smiled as 
you turned to him and accepted an embrace

Poem 4

What would you say if you read all this?
you probably wouldn't like it much
and i don't blame you
maybe i should just get rid of it
but
you wouldn't like that much either
because once you told me
poetry is part of the soul
but you erased part of my soul
once too

Poem 5

how could your paradigm shift so much as to throw

me

all the way off? maybe
				I
just tripped and fell or maybe someone else bumped into it and knocked
										me
off and your hand was too busy in his to help me back up

Poem 6

'ladies all this time i thought you wanted me to be like you you don't want me to be like
you now you'll sing for me' said the man who's no longer interesting
and you were always afraid of that
that i was just like you but
really i just liked you
but it's funny how now we
are both the same
i'm sad
you're sad
or maybe you're happy now but you probably don't care much
since i'm not interesting either
any more

Poem 7

What a pair we were when
we were both pro and antagonists
to each other
advancing our story
and creating conflict
and then you wrote me out of 
it all
(still in the editing process)
but that's okay i can still
write about you you can still
be the heroin(e) in my tragedy

Poem 9

"if" is such a pretty word it changes
all the woulds and shoulds
to cans and wills and makes our
whys becauses and changes the whole reason behind things.
i can
sit and write if then would you even though i should but you won't because you can't but i
will if you think we could.

Poem 10

three's a crowd and you never
liked those much but when
you're
all

alone

one of 
us
could still hear you whisper and it's a shame
because i always heard you scream


Details | Free verse | |

Good, Evil, Rage: Me

Six AM is
NOT a 
         Solace:
The ( waking ) hours
Seem
        NO
Better.
Roll over and press then
Panic Switch
(In your
         too
            loose
                  pants and
Flyaway bangs
And nosebleeds)
      Wishing
A  death
Upon the sunRISE
"Because
I
Said".



"Good, Evil, Rage: Me"
Jenna-Nichole Conrad
Wordsmith


Details | Free verse | |

Resurgence

Burning tears force their way
out of my reddened eyes,
those portals to this aggrieved soul.

Without end they flow,
falling freely down to the ground,
on these steps where this
broken shell of a man lies,
leaking stray pain.

They leave their wet marks
on this cold concrete,
spots of damp presenting
short-lived evidence of my torment.

I thought I was over her,
over the memories,
over this.
And yet here I reside,
amid the reminiscences and revulsion,
crippled and lame.

What is there to do?
What remains, when what once was
your reason for being, your goal,
your whole life,
lies in peaceful bliss, miles away,
without you?

All I ever wanted,
all I ever needed,
all there ever was,
was so close, so tantalizingly near,
and then fled from my side
at the first sign of the storm,
ran when reality knocked at the door.

She made me feel whole.
Complete; alive; needed.
Loved.
Then she walked out,
proved it all a lie.

I want these memories gone.
I want my happiness back.

What to do,
when you don't matter;
in her eyes or yours.


Details | I do not know? | |

Reminisce

I remember when I was verbally bullied,
I would not tell my parents or teacher 
Of what was happening.
I would only take it all in solitary stride,
I remember always feeling 
Both sad and happy in being alone.

I think about it now,
I realize the reasons why I was bullied, why
I was resentful of those who done so to me.
I realize how silly it all was as a whole. 

I notice how it seems to be my fault,
I rejected their offers for friendship.
I still think I was right,
I intuitively knew of their potential two-faced sides.

I have had friends long before then.
I unwillingly moved elsewhere 
(Away from mine friends back then).
I seem to have lost them 
For as long as I shall continue to live.
I eventually had no one 
But [one] older and [some] younger cousins.

I remember when I was my parents' only beloved little one.
I would have everything a child wanted and needed.
I realized my parents often never played with me,
I have come to feel
They were never a good refuge for my feelings anyway.

I see how I've changed from a beloved child 
To now this lonely soul.
I notice how everybody else eventually changes.
I have had good few friends 
In these passing recent years of youth.
I have taken the toll that life has had in place for me.

I reminisce it all now,
I felt so alone, still feel so alone.
I remember my pain, I remember my joys,
I still console myself alone.

I notice how everything is not the same,
I realize the happier days of my past cannot repeat.
I know even if they did then I would face it all again.
I forever now accept it all to be an essential part of me.


Details | Free verse | |

Merry Christmas, Dad

Merry Christmas, Dad
     by Amy Swanson   


Dad,

    I always think of you
           every day...
              but holidays like this

can make it a little harder.

I hear the Christmas songs of cheer
     see the lights up in the square
           the busy murmurs of people
               shopping for their loved ones...

It seems almost perfect.

The tree, the lights,
      the gifts,
          the songs and plays
              joyful vacation days;

but something's missing.

The voice that rang throughout the house
      Christmas season
            singing triumphantly, beautifullly
                  "O Holy Night"

I still can't listen to that song
    without hearing
         your strong voice
               in my ears.

The hands that wiped my tears,
     wrapped my Christmas presents
           made his special "banana pudding recipe"
                left me letters from Santa.

Oh dad... how I miss you.

I know they say time heals
      and life goes on
          and all those other wonderful cliches
                 that people always tell you

simply because they don't know what else to say.


I will never forget you - my hero, my protector.

I speak of you often
    to my own little girl
         want her to know
              the grandpa she can't meet yet...

the grandpa who would love her so.

Dad, you are always in our hearts and minds,
     I never got to say thank you...
         for everything.
              for helping me to be

the woman I am today.

I look at my reflection in the mirror - I can also see you.
   I sing my songs - and I can also hear you.
       I laugh... and sometimes I can hear your laughter too.
           My daughter smiles at me... and you are in her smile.

I wish that you could know how much
     you've always meant to me
         and all the things that you have done
              to shape my life, so positively...

But all that I can say,
        is this:

Merry Christmas, Dad.

I love you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Together Apart

I'm dissolved in the song of the rain -
In the echoing beat of your heart.
It's you pulse that still feels in my veins
Every day spent together apart.

Autumn alters the shades of the days,
Seasons change - we remain all the same.
An immaculate image portrays
Sheer grief in a beautiful frame.

I am kindling the candle of love,
And the lighter replaces a match.
See, in years it's getting too tough
To create this immaculate sketch.

Once your arms are a shelter for me,
All my dreams have the space for us two.
You're the shore to my bottomless sea,
We're apart, but I'm there with you.


Details | I do not know? | |

mother

i live like there is no tomorrow
only to find myself swallowed
i pray for for a world of peace
yet the world would rather cease

closing my eyes for the last time
i have decided to change my mind
about what is right or what is wrong
or what is poetry or just a song

silly old talk about a memory
then she walked out on me
if in it there was no truth 
why she vanish in a poof

no goodnight, i love love you
only dark skies with no blue
the stars do shine brightly
but no longer enough for me
neither are your stories


Details | ABC | |

My Rome maudlin No More

my eyes have seen the Glory, the glory evermore
la de fa et for ever more, Bellet ever more cry no
more our amorous our love, we are not Rome but
ya yet you will stand for ever more, Stand ever more
Rustic their way for evermore one mans waste creators
treasure, Muluct never, My bellet afa eta love for ever
more, my the seas for ever more track 15 musical soup
Rond de jambe en delors 4 times asseble (devnt )
or track 1 to 4 to   begining 3 times Fouette movements
may be don by spring perf instead of a releve'
doublework developpe a la seconde devant attituant 
fouette to attitude derriete promenade finishing in arabesque pen
ebee


Details | Rhyme | |

Changes Part Two - November

I'm looking around - a year has passed,
The moment I seized is forever to last,
The secrets of cherished November
Still live in the imprints of soft fingertips
You left on my key, in your eyes that eclipse
The various colors of amber.

The waters of changes surround my shore,
The eyes of the suburbs see right to the core,
Respond to my heart's aspiration.
Eternity lingers in love's every breath,
And it is my place from November till death,
My shelter, my sweet isolation.

It's plain and it's simple - I have understood
That I will keep writing this story for good
And send you mysterious letters.
Discover the worlds that my verses create
For you to unravel and investigate,
Just keep them, and nothing else matters.


Details | I do not know? | |

Sleep

When I Sleep...... Nightmares haunt me in my sleep And chase away the pleasant dreams One by one they steal my sleep And leave me with a need to flee These mares they have an evil plan To steal the sleep from all the land And as they charge into my dreams They steal the peace I need to sleep I lay down now to feed the need To rest my eyes, I need the sleep Sandman come and storm near me I need your help To get my sleep Tempest bless me with your clock Tick and Tock Please make time stop Wind and rain and thunder strong Cease my mind and lull me along Mother Nature hear my plea Keep me safe, watch over me Give me wings to reach my dreams But keep me safe from these dangerous things The night mares They still come for me But now they find I can't be reached At last I find a peaceful sleep With all of thee protecting me Come now and stay by me Provide me with A good night's sleep But let it end at daylight's break I am alive My soul is safe


Details | Narrative | |

' Jennie - Pennie (My Big Sister)

Everywhere I Look … I See Jennie
Short, Red-Hair and a Smile, So Bright and Pretty
Jeanette … my Older, Big Sister… I Wish I was More Like Her…
        … My Dear Jennie … My Sweet Jennie …

Treated me like I was Her Baby … That was Jennie
Helped me to be a Real-Lady … Just like Jennie
Taught me how to Share and just how to say my Prayers …
        … Jennie … Great Lady Jennie

She was in Her Early Adult Years and I was Young Too
… when Mama Left… There was nothing, We Could Do …
            … Cancer … is not a Loving Word …
        I Wish It Had Been The Last I’d Heard …
                … Oh Jennie … Loving Jennie …

In that Cold-Clinical-Room … Lay Jennie
She Would Be Leaving Soon – God ! … Not Jennie !
She asked me, ‘Did She Fulfill … God and Our Mama’s Will …?’
        Yes, You Did Jennie… I Said You Did Jennie !

… She was in Her Late, 40-Years, but Still, Much Too Young To…
… Like when Mama Left… There was nothing, We Could Do …
                     … Cancer … is not a Loving Word …
                    I Wish It Had Been The Last I’d Heard …
                           … Oh Jennie … I Love Jennie …

When I Wrote This Song … I was Missing Jennie
God … We Can’t Believe She’s Gone … I Loved Jennie
        Jennie-Pennie … You Kept Your Promise…
                  Mama Will Be Proud of Us…

… May Jesus, Call Jennie … When The Time Comes, Please Call Jennie
          Lord Call Jennie … Lord Call Mama … and Then Lord Call Me …

            Jennie, Left Loved Ones... February 29th, 1992 …
          I hate Leap-Years Now …. ‘til I Leap of Faith to You …
                     … Cancer … is Not A Loving Word ! ! !
                             Will It Be The Last I Heard ? …


                      In Memory of my Beloved Sister
                                        Jeanette


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

No Bravery

Gone fishin' in a pool of bloody limbs,

With a skipping boat made of salmon's jello,

Unable to hold, I've been washed down a chute of ooze.

Springing into a mattress of milk-flavored syrup,

I like to imagine myself beveraged between fish as I ride the waves.

It seems the sea was whipped into foaming bubbles,

Like a firefighter's thick chemical shaving cream.

Above the tears, I've become so loud and so queery-eyed,

Scared of every bothersome creature beneath the Poseidon with a soft drink's 
lemony-sour taste,

Thinking to wash away the flavor before it becomes more of a peephole

And to see what to devour quickly in a race.


 

Hoping that the old curmudgeon's pet grass didn't sit out a dance,

So I'm able to cycle on land instead of a tidal wave of tears.

A fantasy with nice dreams mounded with earth piled around over a capital hill.

Sloping down a planet's telex,

Signaling for a tore-up sidewalk to add a drain to sink the ocean.

A bulletproof monk, I wish I was.

Emphasizing a solitary dinner with stab wounds that only get bigger,

The more lonely I become. 

Alone, wishing for loads of land,

Grieving tears for the zebra's dress to stop all the world.

Before fish get more advanced in chess,

I have faith that I will see.

They say that there is nothing to fear,

No dandruff like cocaine in the sea to inhale and tremor,

without a bite from the flesh.


Details | Narrative | |

RAIN FALLING IN OCTOBER

It's so mild in the quite suburbs
with rain falling in October,
and unable to sleep, I face 
insomnia for certain;
rain, keep on falling and let me hear
that steady, pelting sound on
the closed windows....a melody for
the saddest song should be written.


I must choose the right mood,
a minor scale to match this melancholy,
and a slow tempo growing into a crescendo,
and I could even throw in a scherzo;
and transport it with a C Major to smooth
some sadness out of the melody,
which tomorrow somebody
will hum, or whistle by learning the easy tune.


Hoping this song will be a hit,
thanks to the falling rain 
in October for the sudden inspiration...
when I couldn't think of anything else!
Wishing the rain would stop at six,
so I could see the rising sun across
the eastern sky and listen to the lark
that built his nest under my windowsill.


It's past sunrise, and the shimmering clouds hesitate to leave,
and with nothing to look forward to... I must believe
that the rain falling in October, 
can teach me the game of solitaire;
and pinned against my warm pillow,
I don't have anything to share but sorrow!
Flap your wide wings, friendly lark and repeat my song,
note by note; and without a lead sheet, I can't play it for very long...


Copyright by Andrew Crisci


Details | Sestina | |

MY NOSTALGIC MOOD

Abundant rains pelt
on the window's foggy glass
with a rhythm too sad;
mist, raindrops and dreariness
deepen my nostalgic mood:
when sunshine was felt at noon....


The orchard's petals 
adorn the small cupid's head
over the fountain:
an oasis for robins;
today, they don't warble,
but sip water from their well...
 

From this window-sill,
daisies, dangling from their vase,
struggle on their stems  
only to commiserate, 
with their sympathetic glance,  
my nostalgic mood of brighter days...


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Rhyme | |

UGLY FIDELITY

Wake up oh Indian brothers,
Shake up from your deep slumber
Take up your strides towards the charter, 
For yours is a deep bluffer.
Shook up the doors of the world body, 
For the shake of justice, peace and equality,
For constitution of ours is source of power for caretakers and others.

Promises justice to all,
But directs it with ease, 
Justice to rich, justice to powerful is its most vicious deed,  
So what, don’t challenge,
For you will be caught for your indulgence in this series.

Peace what is it?
For we are out of touch since eighties,
Punjab in fire, Kashmir in dire,
Assam in fear, Andhra in tear,
For what is the fate next year.

Pigeon for peace, 
Hovering without its wings,
Is the case next year.
Whenever there is a tension,
It is making its apprehension,
But sorry to mention, 
That it is making the situation more eruption.

In the name of equality,
It is making a great deformity,
By dividing its brothers and sisters,
Into different statutory. 
Can you find anywhere in the world,
Like schedule castes, schedule tribe facility
Laid down in its share.
How can we accept equality,
With such discrepancy
Which is rather a priority.
Equality to all
Is the motto of the world,
But sorry to call
For it is not the case here at all.

What is the reason for such division?
Done to its citizen?
Is it for the creation of new region?
Against its tough unification.

Come up oh! Indian brothers and sisters,
With this plight of ours,
To the international court (court of God) of savers,
To ask for peace, justice and equality,
In favor against all odds and tough measures,
With the faith that
“we shall overcome some day.


Details | Rhyme | |

Love Ghost of Past

Perfect times
When we knew
Perfect ways 
Of things we do

Loving minds
Caress the words
Our ideas
Are not absurd

Crashing stars
Dieing loves
Sheets of memoirs
Remembering was

Sun sets low
Moon shines high
Watching the glow
On breaking tides

What was love?
Who knows when
Remember when love
Was seeing red?

Times of our past
And what they were
When we're unconscious
We're always sure

Now we walk on ashes
Through our sleep
What we have 
We can't keep

Like we're already gone
The last of earth we see
Will be the break of dawn
I hope my love remembers me


Details | I do not know? | |

Song Of Sorrow

Entrancing song,
A feeling arises from deep
Within it was for long.

Melodious song,
A mood revels from inside
Of where it was all along.

Expressive song,
A memory flows from afar,
In which I once belonged.

Saddening song,
A thought reminds from ago
About times I once known.


Details | Ballad | |

Luciferia I-- Cease To Exist

I sense something in her eyes that feels like tragedy She closed her heart but its dark pulse Wilts and stetchs against the wanes How many days will the passion bleed Till it subsides into the new pain We are the ones who will face the blame ''Don't you see what's infront of me, I have to face it all I know there's something wrong help is what I want but it's not what I find You're all filled with troubling lies and incoherent minds Cant you see you're strangling me with every last word There's something you don't know Lying in my heart is why you want to throw the stone'' Her raven eyes fill the silence Luciferia we cease to exist it's burning away-- all others' reliance Luciferia we cease to exist my darkly darling don't fade away Luciferia we cease to exist beware we've became their prey Luciferia we cease to exist


Details | Free verse | |

Father

I used to wonder

What you sounded like

What you looked like

Why you weren’t here

For so long, 

I thought my punishment from God for all the wrong I was GONNA do, was your absence.

I wondered if I were simply a mistake of two teenagers who didn’t know their head from 
their a$$es.

I used to ask about you, a lot.

I was either sent outside to play or given a look that told me I shouldn’t even be asking.

So I stopped and simply accepted what I had

And I always had plenty,

Even when I was too ungrateful to realize it.

I let thoughts of you go 

During what I call ‘The Dark Years’

The years when I’d hardened my heart and my mind

The years when I felt like my life was founded on rejection and pain

The years when I didn’t care about much of anything, including myself

My teens and early twenties weren’t much fun at all.

Then something happened

I became a mother

The father proved that he wasn’t ready to be a father

I entered the real world

I got a better understanding of what you and Mommy just have faced

A better understanding of the responsibility it brings

Over the years

I’ve matured

I’ve gotten smarter

I’ve grown into a woman

And my mind came back to you

I started again to wonder

What you looked like

What you sounded like

If you thought of me, like I was thinking of you

My wonderment got the best of me and I replaced it with a need to know

To know

If you were still alive

If you lived close or far

If you were a fine, upstanding person

Or some cracked out drunken loser

Not that any of it really mattered

I just needed to know

So I began my search

For answers

For closure

For my father.

Each leg of my search brought me new revelations.

You were still alive

You were married

You had other children

And finally

An exact location

It took courage I didn’t have even know I had to send that letter

It took even more to answer that first phone call 

Stomach flipping

Heart pumping

With a simple “hello”

A door opened

To my past

To my future 

To the unanswered parts of me

To my father

Now that I’m here

I don’t regret a moment lost

I know that time cannot be replaced

But a new, improved future can be made.

And with you, my father

I’m looking forward to it.


Details | Lyric | |

Young Enough

These words come out of my pen
and I remember when
I was young enough to believe
that the world just might
stop turning
the stars just might
start falling
if I could just capture this feeling
on this cold, white page.
When I was young enough to believe
that I could make a happy ending
to this tale
if I wrote about it
the right number of times
that everyone was interested in
a young girl's
heartsick rhymes
when I was young enough to believe
that magic really existed
and that life was more than some
sick rat's maze
without any cheese at the end.
These words come out of my pen
and I try to comprehend
just how I got this grown-up
how I ever got to meet my pals
cynicism and jaded laughter.
For that young girl of hardly more
than one year's worth
of long ago
doesn't live here anymore
I've lost those bright-colored gel pens
she used to write those
hopeful dreamings
she'll make an appearance with
sunscreen and hot dogs
but more often than not
I can remember when
and I can try to comprehend
but these words that come out of my pen
aren't even a residual echo of
when I was young enough to believe
that my words really mattered.


Details | Rhyme | |

What Once Was

I stare out this foggy, rain-soaked window,
longing for a past that once was.
It beckons me hence, says to me "follow";
I want nothing but what once was.

The drops on the glass, my heartbeat echoes,
though broken and torn it may be;
memories dance on, lingering shadows
of what remains of her and me.

The thunderous peals, the ominous sounds,
imitate the struggle within;
her light won't leave me, it simply surrounds,
revealing just how low I've been.

The calm after the storm, peaceful goodbyes,
they ease the losing of what was;
yet still, my smile is my soul's disguise;
if only I had what once was.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mixed Feelings

What causes me grief
Is also what gives me relief...
A bog of tears is what makes me think
It has all disappeared,
My glasses fog because of the mist.

This thing is what causes my woe
Yet it has some truth
That makes me feel so happy...
It does not seem to understand me,
I try to tell what''s bottled up inside
And try to put it under a spell,

Even if I do, I''ll go through such inner pain again & again.
For without it or the other way,
My soul won''t live happily
Or won''t be able to change...

My days will always have colours,
For grey shall be in the night,
Because that is when my thoughts of thou take flight...
Oh it is my hate and love,
It is my grief and happiness,
It is both worthful
And worthless...
I can never decide
Because the pain will always reside.


Details | Free verse | |

My Rose

This life I live… can it be called a life?
I spend hours helping others… 
Giving my very soul to comfort them.
I have taken on tasks only a mad man would dare,
Yet at the end of the day… I’m alone.
Forever feeling like this… Dead yet breathing.
I live for others… Yet I die everyday.
I pray to die, so I can be free.
Free… the thought of it seems so unreal.
I ask for little, but what I ask is always too much.
I want to fly, but I only deserve to be grounded,
I want to run, but I can never loose my chains.
I want… it does’t matter… I don’t deserve it.
Though I don’t deserve this, I ask for one request of mercy.
Nobody come to see me when I am gone… Just lay out a single rose.
A rose of black and red… 
Black to show the hate in me and red for love.
Remember me for who I truly was… Not for what you believed.


Details | I do not know? | |

Cliff

She stands, a horse with legs taut and proud
And her eyes are an opera, 
The clashing and rising of war voices
Marble eyes in rubber casing.
She is perfectly how
Hope stands in battle.
I bought a horse with a tail like a cliff, 
Blown, fine, proud, tall; 
Stalked.
And I would have bought you
But your hair was lavender.
And I would have bought you, twilight


Details | Free verse | |

I want to help them

I'm wieghed down by them,
the one's I've pledged myself to help,
the battered and broken,
the one's in depression,
I wish I could do more than stand by
stnad by and listen,
but listening is what I'm best at,
I am their friend,
though they might not accept that,
I try and try to help them with their fears,
their losses,
they might take heart,
or they might lose hope
All I can say is "I'm sorry".


Details | Elegy | |

He Is Dead

HE is dead
In some far off place
he died
I knew him for only a few seconds
yet I cry
He is dead
He had a house
He had a fiancee
He is dead
Stopped by a single bullet
He was here now
He is gone
I have no right to mourn
I barely knew him
A passing aquaintance
He died so far away
My brother called him Brother
He died so far away
Away from all he loved
He is dead 
And I did not know him


Details | Free verse | |

Guess Who...

You don't know me well enough to tell.
You're the victim, the broken one,
it's so old now.
You haven't noticed no-one cares enough
to even pretend to listen.
Glitter, glamour, debauched icon, like the 80s and 90s didn't happen.
Look out the window.
The streets of Glasgow know you too well.
You've not got anything
and you don't know how to function.
It would get irritating but i've seen this before,
you try so hard and no-one cares.
At least have the decency to admit where you went wrong,
and stop pretending you're better than me.
You don't know me, say what you want.


Details | I do not know? | |

Given So Much

Given so much to others in my life...
Written sincerities to my friends.
Forgiveness of their mistakes and
For those who once hurt me verbally.
Many times I have generously given
A dollar to those in need of it...

No returning owe to pay, they forget,
Yet I still remain generous and gracious.
I'd give my life for all my friends
If I could and ever have such a chance.
They my friends have not been with me
For as many times as they've been with each other.

My life journey though
Is of self-reliance...
My mind is of sincerity
And generosity.
I give so much...
Even though they rarely do the same,
I continue to this strong
Sense and feeling of loyalty anyway.


Details | Senryu | |

AUTUMNAL SADNESS

Swallows migrate South...
dark birds in a starless sky
mourning motherland.


Entered in Raul Moreno's contest, " Tattered Wings "


Details | I do not know? | |

Summer's Fade Out

A whispering farewell
Of the Breeze in late August
It is turning cooler by Day
The Nights arrive quickly
That much earlier to stay
Swimming trunks in the draw
Short sleeves,back in the trunk
Fall is approaching
Her voice faintly heard
 LifeGuards are leaving
The Beach to be tightrope
Children return to the School Hustle
Winter is around and about
Slowly on the horizon
As we gaze for one more time
Summer's Final Fade Out


Details | Sonnet | |

EACH YEAR ANOTHER GRAY HAIR

Middle age men, look in this clear mirror
and spot those gray strands of hair:
they may seem ugly, but they bring wisdom;
look again, you are still vibrant,
and accomplish more than those who won't dare:
tell them to live as you have... 


Lines on these foreheads are the furrows that
make us so conscious of our existence,
and death is not far from life's painful truth;
we think of the future as a time yet to come,
but we live it this very moment...not realizing it:  
and with spirit and courage, we race to stay alive...


Each year another gray hair is added to our increasing age;
can we accept mortality, and not reject discontent and rage? 


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Free verse | |

A Lost Hope

Call me that house on your block.
The one with the open doors and closed windows.
The one only the old widow knows about
But refuses to tell about.

Shingles falling off, and crows
Moving in to their long lost home,
Nature reclaims slowly that house,
Green veins of life climb their dead brothers,
Violet an red buds that would've bloomed,
If only the wood rot hadn't gotten to them
You're all waiting for it to fall.
Call me THAT house on you block,
Call me: A Lost Cause


Details | Free verse | |

Joseph and Julekha

We were like ancient Egypt’s Joseph and Julekha
You attracted me like Queen Cleopatra
But guilty feelings barred me again and again
From making love with you O my sweetheart

We were like Adam and Eve in paradise
But Satan has driven us out of there 
By his black magical tricks

We were like two flowers on a branch of tree
A wild wind has blown us apart
From each other

We were like two birds singing a love song
A hunter has caught me by a horrible trap
Now he wants to sell me in the marketplace

Now we are like one soul having two bodies
Living in two separate worlds all day all night
With hopes and dreams like a dying supernova


Details | Rhyme | |

I Remember When

I remember when

I used to have a friend
And everyday I’d see
You face in front of me

I remember when
We used to laugh and cry
You were always by my side
We’d never disagree
No place you’d rather be

I remember when
You cared when I was down
You’d never see me frown
Best friends right from the start
Always in my heart

I remember when
A tear would make you see
The hurt inside of me
You’d volunteer to stay
And fix things right away

Then one day it changed
My world’s been rearranged
Now nothing feels the same
Like it did back then

I remember when.


Details | Free verse | |

Lovely Liar

Goodbye never sounded so trashy before,
And kisses never felt quite so cold,
You don’t care what I feel or the lies that I told,
I bet you’d stand and watch me fall,
I have only one question,
Did you ever even love me at all?

You toy with emotions like a child at play,
Am I supposed to seek the emotions you’re trying to hide?
Newsflash my dearest, I found them long ago,
You’re feelings of pity and nothing more.

Never come back to this black and white picture,
This home for self-pity and regret,
I don’t know if I could refuse you again
My awful pretender,
My lovely liar,
I love you, I hate you, amen.


Details | Bio | |

Waves

Waves of despair
Wash over me
My life
A series of mistakes
And I wish
I could correct 
these things,
No matter 
how long it takes

I should have died
In my old home
The place I long to be
But it's not there,
Anymore..
As anyone can see

I'm stuck in a world
With little reason
Why I should want
to survive,
And sadly, I await
The day I'm no longer
alive

My home lives on
In my mind,
And all the wonder
It did provide
And when I'm gone
It will echo no more
And all the tears I cried

I walk those halls
That exist no more
I cry in rooms long gone
And await the patter
Of the rain
That fell above my bed
But they're gone
Long gone,
Like last week's wave
I'm left to carry on

But why?
Who cares?
It's sentimental crap,
And it means nothing to you
But maybe someday
You'll taste despair
And you'll have a clue


Details | I do not know? | |

My Little Suicide

Little ears and Little eyes
Tend to see what we deny

Wounds that harm, wounds that bleed
No one speaks of her harmful deed

She left me here to take the blame
I knew it then, it was no game

No hugs or kisses, left for me
No more love is what I see

No time for answers, nor questions for she
Who is to be here, for poor little me?

Now I am all grown on my own
She is not here only her bones

I look to my little one and wonder how I could do.....
The same thing Mother as YOU?


Details | Rhyme | |

Black Tears

Beyond Past Years,
And Fallen Tears,

Through Broken Memories,
And Lonely Fears,

On Sullen Wings
And Darkened Things

I Know Why
The Caged Bird Sings

Beyond Past Years,
Come Lonely Fears,

Through Broken Memories,
Fall Black Tears.


Details | Free verse | |

Three more days

Three more days till your day is here again
The day I lost my best friend
The day my world stopped spinning
And the day the angel were singing

I will remember you always and forever
All the times we spent together
The love you gave without any strings
And the day you got your wings

So my sweet angel who watches me grow
Please know your love still shows
With every sun raise I feel your touch
And every sun set your missed so much

My dearest friend my grandmother
For you there is a place that can be filled by no other
I will forever cherish the time we had
And forever will July 12 make me sad


Details | Romanticism | |

Love & Hate

I love that God let me meet you
I hate that I've had to leave you
I love that we became so close
I hate that that's the way life goes
I love that you're always there
I hate that you think I don't care
I love that you always make me smile
I hate that it only lasts a while
I love that we have the most beautiful times
I hate that our memories lead to my cries
I love that feeling when we're together
I hate that we said it was for the better
I love that love that we have for each other
I hate we can't show it to the world together
I love how our cheeks hurt when we can't stop smiling
I hate that my head hurts but from so much crying
I love that you miss me when I'm gone
I hate that you have to cause I'm gone
I love your kisses and your warm embrace
I hate the problems that we have to face
I love you, miss you, and want you forever
I hate that forever can also lead to never


Details | I do not know? | |

LOOKING HOMEWARD

A melancholy fills my soul,
When Lady Northwind wails.
She lifts the waves and churns the foam,
As she fills the schooner's sails 

While the clouds of winter gather
Across the lowering sky,
I feel a storm of loneliness,
As I watch the snow geese fly,

Their spring flight, now a memory
On this cold, October day,
On tireless, snowy wings they're bound
To my southland, far away.

I journeyed to this frozen land,
In my search for a richer life.
I left behind, my childhood home,
My friends, children, and my wife.

I wish I were on that schooner,
Sailing south across the sea,
But I'm stuck here on this island--
Prison bars won't set me free.


Details | Ballad | |

Dissociation

I see a better world that I can use Its far from you And inside me The reality is too much to handle anymore It's a place we all can love A place where all angels dwell Burnt in my mind everything you've done to me It saves me to go away It's my internal prison It's my only safe-haven I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more It's deep enough where you will never find But open enough to keep expanding I will not be stapled by your dominance anymore This is it i will take a stand A sky with death In it's smile Rolls across the night It seeks to know what is wrong And the thing is you I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more


Details | Ballad | |

Babydoll

Trying to escape from it all I detach from reality Knowing my spirit will be Safe Too much torment have I gone through To know that this story is truly mine Cut me off no matter how much I'll always find a way To fight and survive your kingdom I'm the only thing you desire I'm the only thing you hate I'm the only thing you need I'm you little Babydoll In my mind there is a haven Only I can enter, but everyone else is there Its there I will find a new tactic To keep on living in your torment On the way home I'll die a few times But just to know I really lived I'll have to find a new way to bleed If I want to escape I'll have to loose myself Cut me off no matter how much I'll always find a way To fight and survive your kingdom I'm the only thing you desire I'm the only thing you hate I'm the only thing you need I'm you little Babydoll Cut me off no matter how much I'll always find a way To fight and survive your kingdom I'm the only thing you desire I'm the only thing you hate I'm the only thing you need I'm you little Babydoll


Details | I do not know? | |

The Cycle

Life, laughter-all is well!
...what was the point in all that hell?
Let's change the subject,
I dont wanna think
About kicking up 
That Big Stink
I'm happy, that's now!
It's all that matters,
because it wont be long,
Before all of this shatters.
The world quickly turns 
Brightness into black
Here we go again, 
It's all coming back


Details | Free verse | |

copy machine

our world is a mystery
a mystery that Sherlock Holmes’s cheeks turn the shade of blood shed in wars when it is mentioned 
because he couldn't solve this case

this mystery is full of variables variables that have feelings
doesn't that make it so much harder?

variables that lie and cheat their way out of being solved
out of being put into a graph
 
variables that are like serial killers
they want to be caught
they want to be solved
they want to proudly show their mothers their work of art

variables that want to believe they are original 
not copies 
not copies that are smeared because the ink is running low

we want to believe that song lyrics are written for us and it is raining for us and these poems are written for us but we are wrong 
we are not selfish.

these variables have a right to believe that these things 
we have a right to hope to be noticed and to not be a copy
but when our voices join together and scream in harmony 
“i am original”
it loses its meaning.

these variables are stubborn.


Details | Free verse | |

Common Man Sense Common Ground

Common Man Sense Common Ground
Common Sense will tell you that the eye has heard this all his life. Murder rules 
the day. Everyone does that. Get high get stoned free love. Get a life. Loser.  Shoe 
is Untied. You dropped your pocket.  Give me a descriptive list Jenkins Shirt 
without the r on it boy eye told you Jenkins not a list a Descriptive list you have a 
dictionary use it. Sex is fun. You just do not know who it is that eye am now 
become. Ugly as a mudd fence. Ugly as a picket fence. Ugly as a March Hare. 
Ugly in her underwear. Common sensed man is ground.


Details | Free verse | |

Inebriated Quartet

Oh, please
Turn the music up, Shug
I just want to lie in this camper
Surrounded by my three good friends
And forget
Please, Cay
Don’t remind me of the girl I love
Back at the dorms till my return
Her dazzling eyes will never stray to me
Sing it, DJ
Pour all that soul out on the floor
Scream and cry the music
Send my mind away
Pass me my cigarettes
I really shouldn't smoke
Pour me another drink
I’ve done with out for so, so long
Play it, Shug
Let me get sloshed out of my mind
As I listen to the most secret and glorious music
Help me forget that she probably hates smokers
And would be pissed if I showed up hung over to the dorms
Help me forget I’ll be taking measurements
For her costume soon
Tell me how your year has been
Make me smile
And help me
Walk back to the house again


Details | Lyric | |

What a Lost Soul

Since I am Here The Veil grows Stronger but, You're not here for me I'm just-- Another Lost Soul you know, The people you find on the curbs on streets, During Rainy Days not going anywhere but Deeper into their own Disease but, It's not a disease, for they look for cures for diseases Here the patient cares not Only I could say something like that but since I'm here I just might as well sit on the curb on a rainy day and drown in a new-state-disease what A lost soul I am never enough could satisfy always more What a Lost Soul


Details | Free verse | |

the thought walk

though it's yours 
you've not seen this road before 
the nights alone 
the storms blown 
the pavement never smooth 
the mirror of my youth 
you've not seen this road before 
until i showed it to you 
when i opened the car door 
to let you out 
and you walked home, angry 
in the potholes of my footsteps


Details | Haiku | |

Southern Liquor

Tea kettle whistles;
As the life evaporates,
The brew soothes the soul.

In Loving Memory of Granny Pearl's Heavenly Homecoming


Details | Ode | |

Nicole

 I don't know where you are, but I hope you're near
 Hope you know the times I seem to feel you here
 Sometimes I think of the friendship taken away 
 And wonder if there was ever really such a day
 When the presence in the room was real
 And you could take away anything bad I'd feel
 I will always remember when our hearts were free
 And remember the girl who was so much like me
 I will always wonder why you had to leave this world
 But never will I forget that happy, lively girl
 When I see butterflies floating side by side
 I will pray one is you, still free in your new life
                      Julie Stephenson


Details | Free verse | |

Eric

Tears they fall but no one hears
They fall for all the wasted years
I want to scream why why did it end
Why dear lord did you take my friend

But I know he is in a better place
It still dosent stop these tears on my face 
He was there when on one else cared
with me his heart and dreams he shared

Now to go on without him I am not sure what to do
without his love my world is dark and blue
He was my shelter when times got bad
He always made me laugh when I was sad

I know you had your reasons for him to go
But please dear lord let him know I miss him so
Let him know I still hold his love dear
And for him I will cheer


Details | Concrete | |

ONLY TIME MARCHES ON

I can remember the year nineteen forty nine.
Mom would takes us kids to main street,
to shop at the five and time called
WOOLWORTH.
Mom said you can always get your money worth ,shopping at WOOLWORTH.

 At the end of MAIN STREET,was a drive in picture show.
For a few dollars the entire family could go.
We watch movies from dush till dawn.
Now all that is gone,and only time marches on.

At the very start of MAIN STREET,where we did our grocery shopping.
There was a  grocery store that was called A and P.
For ten dollars a week,you could feed your entire family.

I can still remember the deli clerk.
HIS eyes were as big as hamburg patties.
HE was built like a pot belly stove.
and HIS fingers were like cucumbers.
HE had a smile as long as a country mile.

I am getting older,and some things I have forgot.
But I can still remember the A and P,before it  became a parking lot..

WOOLWORTH,DRIVE IN ,A and P are stores of my past.
These stores were not meant to last.
Now they are all gone,and only time marches on.

There is stores that as come and gone,that you may recall
 Not on your local MAIN STREET,but at a giant shopping mall.

New stores will come and old stores will soon begone.
Just like our LIFE.
The only thing is for certain is that time marches on.


Details | I do not know? | |

In the Dark

Whispers by a wandering brook
their speakers shrouded by mist
somewhere within the shadowed fog
they hide 
laughing
in time 
with the brook
luring me
so I’ll follow their call
and venture
far from the path
till I lose my way in the dark.

Songs sung by rustling golden leaves
screen their singers from view
behind autumn foliage 
they snicker
a sweet tinkling on the breeze
snaring me in their well made net
Till I see with growing 
sorrow
that the woodland path is gone: 
I’ve lost my way in the dark.


Silence in the silver moonbeams
illuminates their figures with light
around us sits the mist
caressing the golden leaves
obscuring
the world
from view.
A peal of bell like giggling
breaks into the dark.


Details | Epic | |

This Mask

You want me to love you,
You want me to care.
But,how can I love you,
if your love's not there.
And this pain in my heart, 
Cuts deeper in my mind.
This was was dead from the start,
You're so very unkind.
Because you don't care.
Because you don't see.
And if I begged would you dare?
Dare to see me.
But,you cannot do that,
For myself I don't show.
Behind this mask,
No hope can grow.
And this mask that I've painted,
Represents who I've become.
I'm forever tainted,
I can't overcome.
This person is me,
This person you "see",
Is who I've become.
I've become no one.


Details | Free verse | |

Reminiscence

Recollecting
I cherish the flower
I salvaged 
From the table
That night

The flow of wine
Gentle music
Romance
The two of us
Holding hands

How could I 
Have known
You'd be gone
That tragedy 
Would strike

On the phone
You talked 
To me of love
Driving home 
That night

Now I'm to blame
We broke the law
For love
You having 
Lost your life

A lone
Treasured flower
I cling to 
Now I'll never
Be your wife


Details | Free verse | |

The Revenge of Sylvia Plath: Part 1

Brilliant poet
Whose life was consumed with tragedy
Existence filled with bitter losses
Happiness forsaking her life
Passionate romance 
With poet Ted Hughes
Swept her away
Bringing magic into her dreary life
Relationship intensified
And they became united
Living in marital bliss
Coddling their two children
For a short spell

Through their love of poetry
They formed a special bond
That was destroyed by an opportunist
A temptress named Assia
Tender kisses turned into lonely tears
As Ted's desire for Assia waxed
His interest for Sylvia waned
Her life now engulfed in despair
She found it hard to cope with the reality
That was her life
She decided to kiss Ted goodbye forever
By placing her head in the oven
And turning the gas on
Ending her pain forever

From there Assia stepped into Sylvia's shoes
Residing in the home where Ted and Sylvia
Shared their lives together
Raising her children
Loving her husband
As if she were taking Sylvia's place
But, even after Sylvia joined the dark realm
Walking hand and hand with the grim reaper
Her memory still lingered behind
Her former home with Ted
Became like a shrine
Filled with the overwhelming presence
Of Sylvia's most treasured possessions
Assia could not escape the ghost
Of her former rival's presence

Though in life
Sylvia was cast aside and forgotten
Now it seemed that her spirit
Would not let go
Of the injustices she suffered
At the hands of the manipulative woman
Who used every ploy
To steal Ted away from her


Details | Free verse | |

give

I look at the pictures of us laughing and smiling.
it seems so long ago we were happy and in love.
in love in each others arms.
yet those days have past, and i ask myself why do i give. 
why am i still fighting for something that hurts me.
why am i still fighting for something that brings me more pain than joy.
I truly cant think it through.
how can she not want to give all of herself for us.
is it too hard to acknowledge that you wont remember your grade in psych 5 years from now?
i give and i give but i am wearing thin.
to thin to hide my true feelings, to thin to cover the facade that kept us together for far too long.
if i had my way i would numb myself to the pain you cause me and numb myself to the anguish 
that is inevitable.
how do i ready myself for the end of something that has been a part of my life for so long.
who do i turn to when i neglected everyone else for you, and you let me down?

so i continue to give but i feel i have nothing left but sorrow.


Details | Lyric | |

I Miss You, Too

You want to embrace me,
I can feel your great urge;
You want to kiss me, I know that, too.

You want to feel the warm of my lips;
You want to touch my hair, while I huddle against you;
Your yearning heart, still, beats for me.

To you, I can easily give
All of these, with great compassion and love; 
Right now, any time, for I miss you, too.

But, how can I trust you, again?
You know the reason… 
Why I left you?



Details | Bio | |

Alone

Alone in the wee hour
Between midnight and dawn
I lay here sleepless
Wondering where our love has gone
Although I've grown accustomed 
To spendind my days alone
I still want you beside me
I don't want to be on my own
I miss having your love
To see me through the day
When you leave I don't complain
But How I wish you'd stay


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Souls

Two lost souls
Screaming in agony
Searching for solace
Seeking comfort
Brought together
Through the hands of fate 
To guide each other 
Out of the abyss that 
They have become trapped in 

Tears of sadness
Totally consume them
They are drowning 
In their bitter despair
No one could reach them
They were left to decay
In this claustrophobic tomb
They had stumbled into

Eternally misunderstood
Two outcasts
Two souls connected 
Through their endless
Captivity in the darkness
They have been bound to
For what has felt 
Like an eternity 
Now traveling through
Their tunnel of torment
Facing their demons together
So they will never have to
Suffer in solitude any longer



 


Details | Haiku | |

Breached

Fierce, thunderous winds,
                       As they swirl upon my skin,
Coming from within…


Details | Ballad | |

Forsaken Eurydice

[Satyr]
A quick game is all it will be
I can tell you can hear my shouts and screams from forest 
Your home it beckons thee
Why won't you come and play with me?
 
Why cant you cure her?
The venom isn't too deep
If you could awaken her once
Cant you do it again
 Did sorrow blind you?
 
 [Orpheus] 
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee
Why I not could listen to the dread king
All the life to you I could bring
I had to look back with eyes of dismay
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee 
Music no more will there be 
For I have forsaken my Eurydice 
 
 [Persophone] 
He will never listen 
No is all you will hear
Death is always the killer of love
Death will always win
 
 [Hades] 
Go back to your kingdom
My words have been proclaimed
Your music will not be able to charm
 
 [Persophone] 
Why don't you please
Give him his love
He went this far in vainI
f he cannot see her blank face
Wont why you please
 
  [Orpheus]
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee
Why I not could listen to the dread king
All the life to you I could bring
I had to look back with eyes of dismay
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee 
Music no more will there be
 For I have forsaken my Eurydice
 
 [Hades]
If it will please
You can see her
Only without your eyes
Throughout the dark realm
Looking back will forsaken your Eurydice
 
  [Orpheus]
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee
Why I not could listen to the dread king
All the life to you I could bring
I had to look back with eyes of dismay
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee 
Music no more will there be
 For I have forsaken my Eurydice


Details | Ode | |

Cold Wind

I hear it coming
And it freezes to the bone.
Even when it is running
It is completely alone.

This cold wind howls with pain
This shrieking gust heard over all.
Whose love will it claim?
Who will it make to fall?
Crying out cold and alone
This cold wind wants to go home.

I hear it coming
And it freezes to the bone.
Even when it is running
It is completely alone.

The wind cries out for fear
It has seen its lonely end.
This poor wind is silent but only to hear
Possible other winds to appear.
Patiently streaming out its own sepulchral sound
Searching for others whom are homeward bound.

This wind, this wind
I've known and loved him.
I've finally let go
And I have moved on.

This wind, this wind
I'm now above him.
I've finally let go
And the pain is now gone.

I hear him coming
And he freezes to the bone.
Even when he is running 
He is completely alone.

I hear you coming
And you freeze me to the bone.
Even when you are running  
 You are completely alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Black Rose

I continue to find myself in a pensive state of mind.
Giving time more time.
Even worse, i'm wasting time thinking of the time I've wasted.
Letting thoughts untwine reminessing of the passions tasted.

Here I stand a man with no set destination.
No guides no plan , no helping hand.
Just heroes for who I show admiration.

Just another try to ignite the spark, to set the blaze so I can with stand the fire.
Just another chance to form iron from this ire.

All these thoughts that have been written down left unread.
So hard to forget the words never spoken.
How easy it is to admire the lies that are so token.
How delightful it is that hearts gravitate towards another when broken.

These forms and ideas together they untwine.
How each dark thought sprouts in the night.
How the black rose blooms in the lack of light.


Details | Free verse | |

She Wasn't Ready

His threats weren't fake, like she thought
He tried to take his life.... 
He said that he would, she just laughed it off.
Then he swallowed the poison, and let
it eat away at his insides......

She didn't believe him....
She didn't want to think he 
would ever be that cruel.
She didn't know what to do
or say....
She was barely out of middle 
school.

(How can a thirteen year old girl
Be thought of as a woman?
How could he have treated her
as if she were so much older?)

She didn't grasp the concept, or understand
his strange ill will....
She was lost and oh so confused, thinking,
he would climb over that gruesome hill.

He wanted her to be with him....
She could only tell him no.
She wasn't ready for that kind of 
commitment,
she still needed her time to grow.

He ran away and hid..... went behind 
the building to take a swig.
A swig of some liquid acid, and told her 
if he couldn't have her, then he didn't 
want to live.

The girl stood there thinking, "oh my God!"
what has he done?
She thought he was only bluffing...
But he wasn't...
The deed was done.

The ambulance, it came that night......
She cried, and fell upon her knees.
For had she known he needed help,
she would have tried her best to see.

He survived but had to be taken away
for a few months, and needed time to heal.
They talked on the phone every night, she tried
her best, to keep in touch with him.

She walked to a phone booth just to call him,
each and every day....
He came home about a month or two later,
Neither one knowing what to say.

They hugged awhile, and she kissed him sweetly
and he smiled into her eyes......
She knew it was over, as did he.... and somehow
without speaking the words, said their final goodbye.

She hasn't seen him since the fall, of 1982....
but she's never forgotten what he did that night,
It is always on her mind..... it haunts her still.

So let that be a lesson to all you girls
who think you're so grown up....
When you are only thirteen years old, dating 
guys nineteen, you just aren't ready for that stuff.




This is a true story. 

I know it is true, because the
she in the story.....

Was me.


(This is a very personal and delicate piece, tread lightly please.) 
Thank you.


Details | I do not know? | |

REJECTION

Rejection is a way of protection.
I do it to protect myself from predators of the heart.
It keeps my priorities impart.
Why is the world so animalistic?
I suffer from experienced love pained colic.
When they ask I say no.
Then I ask them to go.
Its rejection.
I have a negative projection.
It’s the way I feel.
There no way I can heal.
Theirs no point.
Is their anyway life can anoint.
Rejection is tainted,
When love is colorfully painted.
I am rejection depicted.
An awful outcome is what I have predicted.
I am an organic play for a loves selfish way.
So if I say no.
Its because reality is what I know.
Rejection may be a low blow,
But love shouldn’t be out of our control.
Rejection actually is a settle goal,
Filled with ambitions of a serious soul.
Rejection consume me.
Rejection own me.
Rejection is me.


Details | Lyric | |

Greytone

I'll find you in the grey
And smooth the wrinkles
Of love we put away

And when my tears have made me blind
Then I will come to where you hide
Not rocking gently, just standing still
Without the icy touch of chill

I'll find you in the grey 
And smooth the wrinkles 
Of love we put away

And when the hours of ash and sand
Have left the outline of your hand
It's only dust, no diamond eyes
No breath to stop my breathing cries

I'll find you in the grey
And smooth the creases
Of love we put away

And when your hair is stone
I'll find you alone
In the greytone


Details | Cowboy | |

I Wish We Had Our Own Trails

I wish that I just had my own road—
I wish that I had my own trail—
I wish the stories hadn’t been told
‘Bout how there’s now no range to sail.

It seems that all the land is now fenced
And there are no more wagon swales—
To most, the Old West now makes no sense
And the interstates are our trails.

I wish for those times of clear creek skies
When the horse and bison ran free—
When the campfires burned and night had eyes
And the trails were open for me.

Oh, I wish we all could go back now
And each of us had his own trail—
And winter never broke summer’s bow
And roads we rode down did not fail.
 


Details | I do not know? | |

The Other One

The Other One

I wonder where my love has gone
He’s been gone for many days
He is probably with the other one
The one who took my place

There is no way I can fight for him
He desires her more than me
I don’t have the power to make him
Understand what it is I see

He comes around once in a while
And spends some time with me
But when he’s gone I try to smile
As the tears roll down my cheeks

I used to believe in the power of love
Thought it could conquer any thing
Now I see the truth of it all
And the pain that it can bring

I will never love this way again
Or lay my heart on the line
The love I feel is all in vain
He will never again be mine


Details | I do not know? | |

It's Funny...

It's funny, you know?
How this entire thing started...
Boy meets girl, they're from two different worlds,
Boy miraculously proves himself:
They end up together

The funny thing is, did we really have a choice?
Same classes, close lockers, same homerooms,
Sometimes I feel this was forced,
But not in the beginning,
In the beginning it was beautiful

It was funny how it started, you know?
He treasured her, loved and respected her,
She felt special, wanted, and cared for,
He tells her that she's beautiful,
He tells her that he loves her

It's funny how we grew on each other, right?
From online conversations to midnight visits,
How hugs were exchanged for kisses,
And kisses yielded love,
In the beginning it was beautiful

The funny thing is how time changes things
How infatuation can grow to love, passion, obsession
How he, who used to stare at her,
Now doesn't spare a wayward glance,
Doesn't tell her that she's beautiful

It's funny how you never really know someone,
That is, until you've spent a lot of time together
But Boy and Girl couldn't get enough,
They were so intense and electrifying
In the beginning it was beautiful

It's funny how he used to talk to her,
With such care and measured voices,
Being sure not to offend, hurt, or disrespect
How he used to treat her as if she'd disappear,
He doesn't talk to her the same

It's funny how she just takes it,
She's never taken disrespect from anyone,
But her love of his past is strong,
And her excuses made for him surpass it all
She feels unappreciated

It's funny how he used to touch her,
With such gentle, tender fingers,
Caressing her side and brushing the hair from her face,
Now fingers are lustful, and a lover's tongue is at her side
He is changing

It's funny how he used to play for her,
Just to see a smile graze her lips,
Just to see the stars dance in her eyes,
To feel the warmth of her skin on his arm,
Now he is changing

His voice is viced; his touch, transparent;
His gaze, a once over; his reverence, indifferent;
His melodies, silent; his kiss, shallow;
His love, unproved;
Now he is changing.


Details | Rhyme | |

Love lost

 In the darkest, deepest part of my mind
 I was still thinking of once upon a time
 Still thinking, hoping, somehow I'd find
 The one from my past I had left behind 
 So young back then, didn't yet know me
 I loved you , yet I had to flee
 So fast I forgot to see
 How much you were a part of me
 And I remember you cried as I lay like stone
 And now I've caught word of how fast you moved on
 I've kept you in my mind this whole time
 Never quite knowing, until tonight
 And now it is my turn to cry
 
 
 
 
 


Details | Couplet | |

By My Side

It's been three and a half months since you left my side,
I'm still here, and I haven't died,
I still feel the emptiness you left in me.
I'm still deaf and I still can't see.
It hurts so much when I see you with him,
when I think to myself, what could have been?
I want you to know I’m leaving this place,
all because I'm alone, because you wanted space.
I'm sorry I love you and I still don't know why you cried,
I hurt myself with the thought of you, when you're not here, by my side.
I want you here with me, more than you know,
pain I try to hide, the pain you'll never know.
I swear to God, I'm not right in the head.
Too often I think I'd be better off dead.
I'm not trying to be selfish, it'd be better for you too,
if you didn't have to deal with me, and what I put you through.
They said it would get easier. Christ, they were wrong.
You’re still all I think about, all day long.
I'm really not mad at you.
You did what you had to do. 
The blame lies on me, for asking too much of you.
All I want out of life is you by my side.
For that alone I live, and for that I’d die.
Now I know what heaven feels like,
and now I know, I'm still alive.


Details | Free verse | |

Revenge on Memorial Junior High

As I walk through these vacant halls
I can still hear the ridiculing
The taunts aimed in my direction
For daring to be different
For being a rebellious misfit
For being a freak
Who broke every rule 
She was ever given
Who lived to antagonize
Defying traditional convention
By loving blindly
And mixing 
What people told me
Should stay seperate
As if certain souls
Were less than human
I was left dodging bullets
In this war zone
So I could pay for the crime
Of being myself
At any cost


Details | I do not know? | |

I'll Remember You

I'll remember your aroma
Your signature scent
The one that had "Daddy" written all over it.
You'd rock me to sleep with it,
You'd sing "White Christmas" to me with it.
It calmed me,
Softly,
Like a lullaby when I'd cry
And it soothed my stings and scraps
From those annoying bugs and reckless bikes.
I grew up with your scent,
never realizing how I'd taken it for granted.
Now, it's only what I have to remember you by,
A solemn scent, now running only through my mind
Never again will I have that part of you
Or any part of you.
At times I must endure dreams
Of only dulled colors of your scent in my sleep
But I soon wake to find
That you, your scent, your being
Are gone away, mixed with the odors of this world,
And the aromas of others
never again to be pin-pointed on anyone else,
as it was on you,
so soft, so serene.
But only in my mind will any of it exist
And only in my sleep will I remember it again.


Details | Free verse | |

Torture of Me

My mind is racing
Full throttle
Careening
Out of control

Remembering
Reliving
Recounting

All the memories are a blur
Haze 
Fog

Like a drunken beggar
Yearning for more
Lacking the resources
Still intoxicated
By yesterday's bottle
Of notes
Quotes
Anecdotes

Cemented in memory
Stolen by time
Leaving only their bittersweet remnants

Hammering at the heart
Dementing the mind
Shattering the soul
'Til all that's left
Is what you see

The slow
Sadistic

Torture

Of

Me


Details | Senryu | |

Crystalline Vibe

Nostalgic feelings,

            As they reflect the gloom of

My past,   through my eyes…


Details | ABC | |

Empty room

Hello loneliness, my friend,
I want to speak with you again.

Please let me see her shadow
Let me hear her voice
Let me feel her touch

Feed me to my dream when I close my eyes
The darkness wants me back.

Let me carry her odor to my existence,
Let me burn within her warm.

Fly me to the skies after I will sleep
The morning star wants me back.

Let me close my midnight eyes forevermore,
Let me carry her shape to eternity.

Feed me to my dream
Take me back where I belong.

An empty room without you
Leaves me empty in my soul.

Copyright Constantinos Grigoriadis © All rights reserved


Details | I do not know? | |

Hope of Happiness

I was hoping to be happy by sixteen.
The Friday night football
Tending to what I always thought of high school to be:
Cheerful, patriotic, outgoing, interesting.
However, something always seemed to depress me,
to prevent me from my sixteen year old happiness
Even the smallest things,
And could always throw my unbeat moods
Swirling down a dark, uninviting drain of silent depression.
I always felt helpless to do anything about it,
Like I was walking on a hamster's wheel,
Unable to control anything
And only able to follow along
Praying to God that I wouldn't miss a step
Knowing that otherwise
I'd fall completely off track; that I'd break down.
I felt that because I was unhappy,
I'd just have to deal with it
To "suck it up" as my friends would say.
So obviously, I accepted, pitifully, for a long time 
that I had no control over my mood, yet I was wrong to do so. 
What I failed to realize, And still have trouble remembering, 
is that I have to choose to be happy,
And I can't rely on others' actions and attitudes to make me smile.


Details | Free verse | |

Moments of Reflection

Time
Creeping along with a monotonous drone
Days to weeks to months to years
The world has changed
Moved on
Evolved

Yet
Alone I stand in my familiar agony
Here to stay to wait for you
My world holds fast
Standing still
Stagnant

Phones 
Their constant ringing emptier by the day
They taunt and tease and call to me
My hands wont stop
Quivering, trembling
Nervous

You were mine once
The lone oasis of love and comfort
Amidst the deserts of my discontent
The lush and vibrant paradise
Among the barren wastelands of my solitude
Now you are gone

My hopes and dreams bashed upon the shores of rejection
Splintered like the oaken hulls of ancient vessels
My peace and love consumed in volcanic fury
Spewed forth in fiery blasts of anger and mistrust

Beds
I have made mine now I must lie in it
A place to rest to sleep to love
To dream 
Alone 


Details | Lyric | |

Make Believe

Verse 1:  I know that I made a lot of mistakes/ and it's too late/ to fix things/ and 
I'm trying to start a fresh anew/ but you keep telling me we're through/ and I'm 
telling you-u-u/ 

Chorus:  Why can't we just pretend/ so we can start over again/ like things never 
happened/ but no matter how hard I try for us to be/ it'll just be make believe/ it'll 
just be make believe/

Verse 2:  i can understand why/ you can't get over what I did/ and I know it hurts/ 
I'm putting salt all over your burns/ but I can't help what I feel inside/ I want you 
back In my life/ i know you still love me/ so don't tell me/ that this is just make 
believe-eve/

Chorus: 3x


Details | Lyric | |

The Plague of Muriel

The dreams of many are crushed beneath Plans of ours; trying to break the serenity Hopefully we will find serendipity To keep us where we are As they bind and conquer Silence and sorrow will reign And at one shall we be filled with pain? My angel flied so far away My angel why didn't you stay? My angel couldnt stay My angel flew away I wish to find you again Even if it will never begin Pay your respect for the ones walking by They might never know My angel flied so far away My angel why didn't you stay? My angel couldnt stay My angel flew away Can't I say it wasnt my faul Or would not even care That we always die in Pairs Nostalgic without you Sedimental with you Will I get come close to like what you hold dear Or will I only speak Are you there still listening or is it just me Who caresPlease keep whispering Break the silencePlease keep whispering My angel flied so far away My angel why didn't you stay? My angel couldnt stay My angel flew away My angel flied so far away My angel why didn't you stay? My angel couldnt stay My angel flew away My angel flied so far away My angel why didn't you stay? My angel couldnt stay My angel flew away


Details | Free verse | |

An Afternoon with Katherine

She said that this man, my grandfather,
held her head under the black pool water,
while up above, a German man leaned
out of his window, against the moss and brick
to scream violently: "Don't hurt that woman!
She is the most beautiful woman in the world!"
The tone of the man's voice, authoritative, cold
broke my grandfather's concentration and he
let her bob up to the surface, coughing, sputtering
in an almost drowned manner, while still maintaining a beauty uncommon to humans, as she stole a quick glance
to the heavens of heavens to acknowledge the saving
power of a stranger.
This is her story today, as she sits on three moth-eaten,
velvet pillows to make her tall enough to reach the kitchen table.
She has shrunk in her old age and is no longer "the most beautiful woman
in the world".  
She sips her black coffee out of Russian demitasse cups with diamond emblems
until she reaches the grinds which have slept in warmth on the bottom, 
to fool her, she thinks.  
She nibbles her white toast with butter and honey and shivers in the air conditioning as royalty should.
When she has filled the remaining ten percent of her stomach (the other ninety percent was removed from the worry 
of ulcers when technology was in it's infant stage), she continues her story.
It lasts all afternoon and twists and winds around the basic sub-plot that, somehow, her beauty and dignity was 
acknowledged in the worst circumstances, and, with her infinite wisdom, the world was made a better place.
Her voice soaks into the wooden cabinets, and will remind me forever of strong, fresh-brewed coffee, and I think, 
right at that moment as I look at my hands (which I know will resemble hers one day), that I miss my grandfather.
The most gentle man in the world, whose thoughts never amounted to more than wanting to garden well, or shape 
the perfect pizza in his pizza shop.  
This man, who set chairs on tables to clear the floor before he danced in pure Zorba the Greek manner, with a glint in 
his innocent eyes.
This man, who looked at this woman, this fabricating, self-absorbed, once beautiful woman, with an adoration never 
deserved.
I clean up the dishes, while still listening, and kiss her good bye on her forehead. 
Jittery from stories caffeinated and old, I chose to walk the long way home, lightening my mood and shedding her 
words along the way.


Details | I do not know? | |

I'd like

       I'd like to say I miss you, need you all the time
       Touch me anytime you'd like, don't ever leave my life
       I'd like to say let's start again, love me like before
       Fill my body with your passions, make me love you more
       I'd like to say my heart belongs only to you
       My world revolves around your smile, and I've met nobody new
       I'd like to say forever is a word I never used
       Because I'm scared to say it's over, I do not love you 
                                Julie Stephenson


Details | I do not know? | |

soldier

amazing
how a man can stand so proud
amongst the rubble
and the snow
with eyes so pained
in boots that won't shine anymore


Details | Rhyme | |

Staying In The Shade

"Let's go out!" they cried, "Summertime's just begun!
Grab the lotion and towels and the new watergun,
Let's prepare a picnic and call up everyone!
Aren't you going outside to soak up the sun?"

"Not I," I replied, "for summer brings me pain;
It reminds me of times which no longer remain,
So I'll just stay inside and watch out for the rain,
And wait for the winter to come back again."


Details | I do not know? | |

PAIN

Pain so deep,
It cuts as it reaps.
It plays for keeps.
I sip from the haunted cup of emotion that leaves remnants on my lip
And back I’ve slashed with a cutting whip.
Feel my heart rip!
I paid as deathly as love laid.
So many peircings my tears made,
I fade!
I lashed out with a jagged blade.
Blood spilled over white sheets stained with shame.
This is how the red plague came.
Why does red pain rain?
Poison will profane!


Details | Free verse | |

when i sleep

sometimes when i sleep
i know i hear YOU speak    

i almost answer........

then my heart stops 

just
for

a  second

and it hurts

i realize
we will never be
together again
on this earth

then

the

thump da dump
resumes

as i recall
your seeking me out
....and loving me

and

i

close my eyes 
and just for a second
i am your girl again
just like you said 
the last time you
kissed me goodbye

and i just go on...

sleeping....listening......waiting


Details | Blank verse | |

night sky

the moon shining lucidly upon the sea…
nothing could taint this beauty,
the gentle breeze coursing through my hair;
the feeling of pain and sorrow all leaving with the wind.
even the blind could see the beauty of this night,
my heart is in complete serenity.

the stars are out only to add to the beauty; 
what a view i have from this cliff on which i stand…
all this beauty real, no masquerade here,
all alone in this place of breath-taking beauty;
the only way this could be any better is if someone was here beside me.
the night sky is in such serenity.

the clouds moving in oh so ominously…
but the beauty still isn’t fading,
the breeze is slowly picking up,
a strange sense of tension is arising in the sea…
waves mercilessly hitting the rocks just a few hundred yards below.
the sea is filling with such despair.

the wind is growing cold and fraught with an odious scent…
the beauty is still here but i’ve been struck with a sense of fear
such a strange change to occur so quickly and unannounced…in the air,
a sudden change is also occurring in my heart,
being alone and the loathsome setting is bringing out my wicked side…
the air is feeding off my malice.


Details | Free verse | |

Peter Pan Comes Visiting

How well I knew him, Peter.
Friend from childhood, he came over from time to time;
Entertained my children far better than I could myself.
They loved to see him, pined for his wild laugh
In the gaps between his visits.

I'd known him since Kindergarten,
Then as somewhat still a goldenhaired Forever Boy
Whose ice blue eyes always seemed to be looking
Off into some babe-fresh world nobody else could see.

After the children crashed to bed
Worn to exhaustion from excess of joy
We'd sit and trade lies, pretending
It's Never Too Late, Lots of Time Yet to Grow Up
Ignoring the steady disappearance of those golden locks
My own shining silver.

He's somehow eluded the adulthood that claims us all,
Yet knows at heart how it steals upon him yet,
A little closer year by year
The relentless tread of time,
The turning of our little earth.

A favorite friend became 
A strange fear that grew and grew,
As every day the kids grew a little heavier to remind me
That maybe sometime soon the last Lost Boy
Might fly to my door one last time
On a carrion wind
And stand there, all out of Happy Thoughts
And beg me to take him in.


Details | Free verse | |

Garden Angel

A tiny garden angel kneels on a pedestal.
A statue to adorn the garden with her charm.
Her small hands held in prayer.
A circle of flowers around her head.
Her face with a cherubs glow.
Wings outstretched at her sides.
This tiny angel with such life like features.
I sit and watch you pray. 
You are missing some flowers from your headpiece.
It makes me sad each time I look at you.
My tiny garden angel.


Details | Free verse | |

Darkest moment

Insanity that lies deep within this tortured soul from 
which evils prominent face overwhelms the good inside the intellect of the mind.

This massacre of rational thoughts creates misery from 
which hell is spawned into reality with a struggle
 daily as the hands of time move on.

That eternal sleep beckons me with a siren singing,
 entrancing my body to move without thought nor
 consequence to this unholy sin.

Visions through a dream in a horrific reality that seems 
so foreign with a touch of home as the dance with death begins.

My sight falls into a tunnel of absolute darkness
 from which there is no reverse, for the life
 within me begins to fade.

Sudden jolts with a divine spark 
igniting animation into the corpse of what was the bitter end of my 
mortality.

Life runs freely through the veins, feeding
 my soul with a second chance at this unforgiving world with the might to conquer 
the evils bestowed upon me in this strange
 new world called Life.




Details | Cowboy | |

On That Range We'll See No More

You can hear coyotes come a calling
And the cattle restless now and bawling
As we dodge the storm that sends us sprawling
On that range we’ll see no more.

The birds like omens now are all singing
And our thoughts and lives are swiftly winging
Toward that railhead with these cows we’re bringing
On that range we’ll see no more.

Nothing lasts forever we are thinking
As our heart’s and spirits are now sinking
While on to that last day we are slinking
On that range we’ll see no more.

They say that the Old West it is dying
But it’s not for all our work and trying,
But like these streams we are parched and drying
On that range we’ll see no more.

Our life is rough and so unforgiving,
But it was much more than just a living—
Branded in our souls with no misgiving
On that range we’ll see no more.

After longhorns, whisky and the shouting,
For other jobs we will go a scouting—
Cowboys now on our sad final outing—
On that range we’ll see no more.

They say us cowpokes were made for fighting,
And that we find those wrongs that need righting
As we still honor Him with no slighting
On that range we’ll see no more.

One last time we’ll hear the cattle lowing
While on prairie seas we go a rowing 
Riding toward wisdom and final knowing 
On that range we’ll see no more.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

3FABEL3

 3FABEL3 
3FABEL3 
 
Lynching 
 
 
Murder is an art form abused by those critters in a hurry to perform a judgement 
call and then scurry off on horses to hide from the real law. 
There is some western hearoes who still hate the Negroes and do not have 
them on the list of living beings in their repertoire of Johnny law. The rope is tied 
in the noose with thirteen winds some say a wind for every step up the gallows 
planks thirteen of them to give the thief a long time to prepare for Hell. We will 
stretch his neck we will hang him high we will send him on his journey to the sky 
they hammer on the gallows while the thief he sits in cell and cries uncertain of 
his future after that and eye suppose there should have been a preacher in all 
those western movies to come in and comfort them the brothers waiting there. In 
desert news in otherworldly tensions there is many promises given of 
conciliations taken from the left hand and given to the behind the back and then 
back to the right this is called the we will do this for you and then no of course we 
do not want to do this not at all syndrome. Also eye have noticed on this internet 
the use of ads is popping up increasing tension in the viewer designing limits on 
the use of money is the income of a prisoner soon increasing is the wealth of 
money belts investing blooming idiots are stealing more to pay for kitchen 
hardware and the laptops on the floor of the living room with HDTTV the 
SuperBowling friends were over just now Johnny Law was at the door way saying 
hey and did you let them in no you just slammed the slamming door way in the 
faces of the lawmen. 
  charlax valentine, here is a copy of the HiCard you 
sent. Since it was mailed to you, it will appear 
that you sent it to yourself. The real card was 
delivered exactly as you saw it previewed. 
The condemned man walked up the steps to the thirteenth story. 
Rope is sometimes frayed in the movies the rope breaks the thief falls to the 
grounded mound and jumps the saddle rides away into the night on horseback 
getting bullets in his gun by magic on the run then fighting back. 
The Hangging Judge in Fort Smith scared me so badly eye can never hold a gun 
in my left handed again. Besides the neck does not look good when rope is tied 
so tightly in the nooses neck. The Arizona Kid hung up his spurs the day the tree 
split into crosses from the lightning bolt surmising that his LORD was not well 
pleased with him that day the Sherriff made his play. 


Details | Lyric | |

Our Goodbye

I’m lying here in agony
Pretending it ain't true
My eyes swollen, our heart in my hand
If you only knew
I keep playing it over and over
Those words you said to me
Trying hard to understand
Why life won’t let me be
My head hurts of so much crying
My heart hurts feels like I’m dying
Seems like just yesterday
We were planning our future
And now all that is left
Is a beautiful picture
Our poems and conversations
...Why did we ever part?
I’ll always keep those memories
But most important in my heart
Was this really supposed to happen
Were we not supposed to know?
Or did we break one heart in two
Gave up and let it go?
So many unanswered questions
So many things left unsaid
Maybe it was just a dream
A dream I had in my head
Guess we’ll never know
If it’s what we both wanted to do
Just know I will never forget you
Forever I will always love you


Details | I do not know? | |

As The Walls Close In

As the walls close in
my world is getting smaller
Beads of sweat drop from my head
down to my collar
 
I don't know what to do anymore
I feel like my end is coming soon
I no longer see the light ahead
I no longer see the moon
 
In total darkness I stand
I no longer see clear
I breathe as if to die
cuz my soul is in fear
 
My heart starts to pound
as if to come our my chest
The pain is so immense
will I be put to rest
 
As the walls close in
I have no one to turn too
My mind is going crazy
I'm lost I don't have a clue
 
I'm standing right here
searching for some salvation
I look everywhere I can
with deep anticipation
 
My eyes full of tears
my fists clenched real tight
Anger within me burns
things don't feel right
 
Why do I feel this way
my mind starts to spin
My emotions go crazy
I want to commit sin
 
As the walls close in
my mind looses control
I'm begging for mercy
as my heart grows cold
 
I fall to my knees
I'm no longer alert
I know as I'm here
this pain has me hurt
 
I'm wounded I'm scarred
blood slowly falls from me
The pain is so strong
it has eaten me alive as you see
 
I can no longer fight it away
cant stand strong
I been fighting this battle
for just too damn long
 
Time for me to take one last breath
and just close my eyes
Let my soul go away
as the rest of me dies


Details | I do not know? | |

Autumn Air

I get a smell of the autumn air
It's too soon but it's welcome
I feel a fall breeze
It covers me with warmth
it surrounds me
My stomach is turned to knots
my mind and body uneasy
But this is comforting
The fall smells so good, so clean
it's one of my favorite smells in the world
The air tells tales of Halloween and Thanksgiving
Things to come
Pleasant and sweet
But the air brings with it
memories of times pased
Good times and bad
All I can feel is happiness for the future
and sorrow for the past
Things, people, places
all unfinished business and "what if's"
So many lifetimes
all in one
My heart aches for the ones I've lost
I will never forget them
They will always be with me
No matter what time or place
I will never forget the ones I've shared time with
in the autumn air


Details | I do not know? | |

Failure

My life is failure 
I can’t deny it anymore
I hate my mom
I hate my dad
I hate my friends
I hate my enemies
And I hate myself
It’s not worth 
This life I lead
Pain and suffering
Filled with greed
Bottles of blood
Precious razor blades
Self help
And support groups
I’m going to hell
I don’t care anymore
I forgot what I’m looking for
My life is filled with
Pills, lighters,
Never forget 
The razors
The pain inside
Is almost unbearable
Another day
Another pill
Another night
Another thrill
Will I survive
Or will I kill
Blood gushing
Heart pounding
How long?
This is my failure


Details | Free verse | |

Never Forget

Approaching the end of our path
In which a different road lies
To define the borders of our hearts
Through the presence of space and time
The seasons I've once believed
Your light is of eternal guidance
Lighting up the darkness of my deepest nights
It is passing me by…
Time is passing me by...
These final hours are quieter than I've imagined
When my hand rests gently in yours,
Something that simple, becomes complicated
I won't forget this sky
That awakens each moments of our love
I won't forget these dreams
The memories that lingered within this horizon
I won't forget you,
By whom this closed heart has been opened
If a tomorrow shall be lost,
I hope this message reaches you
My love, I'll never forget you...


Details | I do not know? | |

The Drift King

Flotsam and jetsam cast on the surf's cusp,
a paper cup thrown in the thrust of the breeze;
wormhole consciousness cut loose and adrift,
torn kites snagged in skeletal trees.

Sunspots of summertime burned on a map,
smoke dissipating, billows of chrome dust;
where have I come from, where will I go?
the passage of time is the tenderest trap.

Old phantom that cannot be tethered or tied,
fine grains of sand, restless, ever shifting;
no place to belong to or to call home:
I am the drift king, the king of drifting.

Of who or what I am there is no definition,
a tumbleweed heart, a weathervane mind;
haywire compass borne in a whirlwind,
the key as it clicks in departure's ignition.

I am nothing, no one, or everything, someone,
chameleonic, yet obvious, depressed yet uplifting,
the paradox of travel, conundrum of paralysis;
I am the drift king, the king of drifting.

Nothing marks my arrival and less my leaving,
the pillow where rested my head soon regains form,
not the slightest indentation to alibi the existence 
of a castaway ghost in the eye of the storm.

As no one cares enough emotions cannot hold me,
each far and new horizon as fresh and young as spring
so until the weight of ages crushes black my soul's velocity
I will be the king of drifting; I will be the drift king.


Details | Free verse | |

A Piscean Death

Cherished 
beloved
child's spirit, tinged with sadness, 
you played us your soul, 
and we each took it away with us, in little pieces
your eyes they haunt me still
I miss the way they used to question and accuse
my crippled angel,
broken by the world's injustice,
I feel the pain in your voice,
your hair hung in pale streaks
across the shadowed beauty of your face
you radiate a light so pure, 
a steady flame set in a tavern window 
my beacon of hope
through the darkest hours of my soul
So like the single flame I now burn
to keep watch through the long, silent hours
of the night, every April fifth
to preserve your memory
gone too soon, love
gone too soon


Details | Free verse | |

Dreams

A world were life is untamed with
possibilities unknown tapping into
feelings in a realm where a twisted fate awaits.

Truth that lies deep in the abyss of mind
and soul uprooted like the mighty
oak in the most violent of winds
that come from within.

Fear and sadness with devastating blows to
emotional that cripple and maim the psyche
of my very being.

A grim reminder of ghostly faces that are lost
in a mental world where life once existed..

dreams of a time where life was good with the innocence of a child’s mind at 
play accompanied by bliss
of an unknown agony at hand in the years to come.

When the body awakens, a sudden fear sets in, for reality
takes form, and a new day is born.



Details | Free verse | |

April

Lately all I’ve been finding are shadows
Hiding everything.
I turn around and there’s nothing left
But a vague reminder of who I used to be.
And when the mirror finds me-
I fear I have to go-
But I wish that you could know…
Oh, wishes fall from my lips like the words you fail to hear:
…There’s no use repeating them here.
No matter what you claim to forget,
No matter what you do-
There has never been anyone but you.
And I pray that you will find me again-
I hope that you will smile.
And then I remember that you’re gone too. 
And it’s been quite awhile.
I almost give up.
How easy it would be to slip into the shadows
That are hiding everything.
I look behind the place I stand, and its here that I realize-
The shadows already have me.
They stole me the day you said.... no.
And I am not angry.
What would be the point?
And I am not heartbroken
(I hate to disappoint). 
Don’t think I forgot-
“If time can’t change my mind, what chance have you got?”
What’s the point in even dreaming-
When there’s nothing left to dream?
And when everything around me is exactly as it seems?
I wave towards the shadows- I welcome the reply.
It looks me in the eye- challenging me to go back to you.
I linger for a moment, on the past and on the view-
Thinking that you might…
You don’t. You never do.


Details | I do not know? | |

NOW WHEN YOU ARE NOWHERE NEAR

I remember yet those misty mornings 
When in nature's embrace you sat a Queen.
I saw you whisper to the meadow blooms.
Those magic moments I did glean.

The day we stood on the turbulent river's bank
is still as fresh in my reminiscence.
You deigned not to smile. I dared not to speak.
And the weary waves broke our mutual silence.

I traversed miles before the break of dawn
to take my spot behind a silent hedge.
To spy you gather those fragrant blossoms 
and vanish like a dispelled dream round the edge.

When the fateful day of our farewell dawned,
I thought our silence had to end.
I rushed to the river's sandy banks
hoping you might condescend.

That day when you appeared clad in grey,
with packed luggage ready to depart,
I waited a moment to gather guts
and fared you well with a heavy heart.

You knew not what my heart held within 
and nor for my untimely greeting, the reason.
Yet you smiled and with a greeting in return,
walked into your boat which glided away into the horizon.

Now that you are gone forever,
I see you yet in the meadow's every opening flower.
In every freash fragrance of the valley 
and in every restless ripple of the river.

In the night when I recline on the gathered hay
under the starry canopy of the endless worlds,
I trace your face in the wilderness of stars
like a pattern laid out by a string of pearls.

I let the melody of my love stay in its strings
for I feared it might reach your ear.
But now I keep playing it on and on.
NOW when you are nowhere near.

Words that were chained to the shackles of my silence,
break their bonds in their quest for your love.
Words that remained in the shadows of secrecy,
resonate through the valley a thousand times NOW.

NOW WHEN YOU ARE NOWHERE NEAR.


Details | Free verse | |

Free me...

I'm crawling on the glass ground
pealing for you to stop
I cry stop your hurting me
but you hit harder
you grab harder
half an hour passed 
I'm drownding in my crimson pool
your swimming in tears
held up inside
screaming to be set free
free me from this burden you ask
free me
free me
free me!
 
 
 


Details | Verse | |

Face

I have seen you countless times 
Through laughter and through tears 
You were always waiting a friend for all the years 
I recall the happy times we shared when you were young 
Full of hope and sky high dreams 
Until they came undone 
Not a wrinkle nor a crease had ever touched you face 
The eyes were bright the smile was true 
All in it's proper place 
Time has made a canvas 
A picture for all to see 
It's lines and shades have made you old 
And took the best of me 
But I'll stay with you and you with me 
until the very end 
Then we will close our tired old eyes 
Until we start again 


Details | Free verse | |

CIVAL WAR

CIVAL WAR
Men turned against men war fighting killing hate multiplying until Death ruled the 
hearts of men carried over into Cowboys days of fighting killing and hate ruling 
the hearts of men again taking hate to the new extreme of violence wins the 
hearts of men again have you shined your shoes today mon capitan
have you ruled the words you speak yet have you grabbed the weapons of 
destruction using them on the prisoners of Jesus is your coat a faded blue 
turned gray is your trousers striped with yellow for the coward still in you
moving horses without food the horses soon become the food of men the stink 
is wrong the meat does not keep men alive just bodies full of flies the war was 
over long ago the winner was the Satanic Host and no one has an answer or a 
prayer of cival war to come again the battle flag is raised and it is full of holes as 
men are turned against the men of war.


Details | Free verse | |

Black

Emotional pain hitting nerves so deep
with flinching force in places
so dark the sun’s might cannot
penetrate

Tears with frowns too sad, my own
reflection cries for me with intensity
too overwhelming for this world to 
alleviate

Dreams of a love, so real with hopes so
False, the rising sun upon my eyes
brings another day, which water
runs freely from the portals of my
existence

Life with the will to live weak in a 
world where life is so bleak with a
daily fight to liberate myself
from this tangled 
web of sorrow

Enslaved within my mind the body
is rendered motionless and weak
with the only option to sleep and to
pray for a day where peace of
mind will stay.


Details | Free verse | |

what memories?

beckoning a dream, without the repulsion of bodies best set
together. the same dancing decaying soul overwhelming itself
again. the perpetual act of destroying lucidity.  watch as it 
consumes me through her eyes... inferring an unreasonable
consciousness, screaming for calamity of a solitary heart!
even my reflection creeps with shadows... dining on my
diminishing  hope and joy.  watch as i self-destruct and 
slide back into my hole.

feed my trepidation sorrow to keep the stress crawling.  teach me 
how to cry again... feignly, meaninglessly.  burn my desire in the 
forshadowing of my next great fall.  illuminating in elegance singing
through my effigy... in the darkest visual hue.  the shallow end 
of the vein, in a vessal of withering self-assurance, wading
through afflictions carved by a woman's hand, bound to my tears.

listen to my stark elegiac songs, as i preach them one last
time.  put your gun to my head so i dont reiterate yesterday.
the portent is growing today... annihilate rapturous illusions
behind my eyes.


Details | Romanticism | |

I Imagined

I thought about you today
After we had talked,
I couldn’t get you off my mind
And you squeezed into my heart.

You touch a part of me,
That I thought had left
And slowly imagined to myself
My soul mate, I have met.

I imagined your eyes
Piercing into my very soul,
And pulling out the good in me
Just to have and hold.

I imagined your strong arms
Wrapping me oh so tight,
And the safeness that I felt
Has melted my cold and distant heart.

I imagined your voice
Speaking quietly in my ear
Washing away all my fears
And drying up my tears.

I imagined your body
Curled up beside my own
And realized too quickly,
That my heart had found a home.

I imagined that I saw you
Being strong, loving and kind,
And I thought to myself
That you were really blind.

I imagined everything
I know about myself
And I wonder when you would
Place me back on the shelf.

And I imagined for all your good,
Your kindness and your strength,
If you will touch your lips to mine,
And be filled with passions drink.

And I imagined your loving me
With all your heart and soul
And would it be hard for you
For me to have and hold.

And then I imagined a lifetime 
Without you,
Then I told myself
I could not live without you.

And I imagined how many tears
I had to cry to find you.
And I prayed there would come a time
When no more tears will fall.

And I imagined it all.....


Details | Lyric | |

Only God Knows

It's been only a month without you, yet it feels to me like years
I play it off and smile, when all life brings me are tears
I remember our last moment together, I couldn't look you in the eyes
I hugged and kissed you tears rolling down, I've always hated good byes
You seemed so calm that day, no whisper of goodbye not even a word
Were you hurting as much as me? I love you was what I whispered
Walking away without looking back, hoping you'd run after me
Trying so hard to drive without caution, just wasn't my time to be free
At times I cry and feel so lost, oh what we could've been together
But then I look back to your poems, I'll never let go I hear you whisper
Whisper to me that you need me, and make me feel like you really want me
Whisper to me that you miss me, and that forever you will always love me
Everytime I hear our song, the way it magically started out
I relive the moment of our love so special, I never had a doubt
And when I hear the first song we danced to, I remember us dancing in love
We're still waiting to no longer have to lie about us, the Lord knows above
Remember how we'd say, that our kisses were made for each other?
I know to this day a love like yours, never will I find in no other
When you're sleeping are you dreaming, If you're dreaming are you dreaming of 
me? 
With you I always dream, because my heart is yours you'll always have the key
It hurts me too that you're not near me today, I feel so weak without your touch
I miss the way you'd hold me tight, I just never imagined it'd hurt so damn much
Our love so unique and beautiful, I now know it couldn't have been in vain
Everything happens for a reason, only God knows why he sent us this pain


Details | Elegy | |

Living Without You


A garden, 
blooming 
and sea of 

beauties dancing in the smile of 

morn orb. The 
sexy posture of 
a rose 

stands afore, yet, her glow cannot

outshine 
the diamonds
rolling down 

on my cheeks, nor can solve 

the paradigm
of my day 
obscured— 

by your absence, my love!


Details | Free verse | |

To Jim Morrison

Puck’s bad boy, you,
Who disdained convention
Who was loved or reviled
By millions, no middle ground yours,
No attempt by those offended
To understand your
Exquisite, poetic soul
Crying out to be expressed 
And appreciated,
Buried in a miasma 
Of mundane and unsatisfying
Musical experiences
For which your contempt
Couldn’t have been more apparent,
Leading you to shun your celebrity.

Even in Paris, your final home,
Your escape from fame,
Even with Pam, your true soul half,
You found no lasting peace,
Trying to stay incognito,
Continuing to write verse in notebooks
As you had done since childhood.
There, death came early, quietly to you
Of natural causes, after years
Of ignored medical advice
And sometimes alarming symptoms.
Those of us who like to believe
We understood your muse,
Whether or not we did,
Hope, with all our hearts, you found
What you expected to find
Beyond the doors leading to eternity.


Details | I do not know? | |

Let down

the thought in my mind that reminds me of you
is the same thought that makes death true

i let you inside my mind and i wish i could put time in rewind
cause you let me down, you let me fall to the ground

i failed on my part to protect my heart
and to this day it still bleeds

i'll remember you forever to come 
cause you let me down
like everyone else you dropped me on the ground

i have hatred for you, a real special kind
the kind that develops a killers mind

so when you're dead please don't blame me
you did this to yourself i hope you see

i loved you once and tried to continue
but you don't have love, you don't have it in you

i would like to think i'm all grown up
but the day i met you i ran out of luck
so i'm stuck here in this state of mind i can't fast forward or rewind


Details | I do not know? | |

.. Ashes On The Tide

The rocks they receive you, contain you, believe you
The wind to surprise you that suffers and sighs you
It's easy for you to just crash on the shore
but what about me?  I can't swim anymore.
Shall I be the cliffs that applaud every wave?
The wind would be stronger and wilder and brave
We should have discussed it, made some kind of motion
before you became a big thing like the ocean
If you will be there through the day and the night
shall I be the sky or the sun shining bright?
The wind or the rocks or the shells on the shore?
The caverns below or the dark oceans' floor?
We always decided our future together
no matter the wind or the rain or the weather-
You shouldn't have chosen and left me to stand,
high and dry on a cliff - all alone on the land...


Details | I do not know? | |

SEPTEMBER DAYS

September sadness, sweet and sour,      
A dagger piercing heart and soul.
Nostalgic flood tides rush to shore,
With tender memories of old.
                                   
Cicada swan songs wax and wane
In melancholy symphony.
Secluded crickets strum their harps
In monotonic harmony.
                                 
A carefree summer sounds retreat
Before the mellow, golden haze.
Autumn sadness fills our lives
With bitter sweet September days.


Details | Free verse | |

Carefree reminiscence

I remember I saw her
a sturdy grey haired 
eighty something woman
with pin point pupils
and vacant looking
coldest grey - blue eyes.
She appeared lost
and yet some fragment of sanity
rendered within.
She waddled purposely
stick in hand across the road,
to the bench next to the bus stop.
Conversing and nodding
on her approach
but there's no-one there.
I got to wondering 
if she were unhinged,
out of her mind crazy
what with hospital for such nearby.
Were she one with mental illness?
Was this a State negligence?
Maybe she was disturbed
with some cruel neurosis,
or then did she see beyond a veil
where I could not,
and be thinking 
similar thoughts of me?
Non-sensical but I recollect
how an ambulance pulled alongside.
Two got out in a hurry,
three slipped away.


Details | Free verse | |

We're Growing Our Hair

Hair was jet black
in November.
By December,
was fading back to brown.

Hair has caramel streaks
now in April.
You don't know,
but I bet you'd like it.
Now that the black's washed out,
the ends curl again.
Just like they did in September.

Hair was real short
in November.
Now I don't know
how long it's gotten.

In April,
hair seems longer from a distance.
I haven't been able to see up close,
but it's better than October.
I bet you know I like it.


Details | I do not know? | |

Through These Streets

Walking through these streets
Full of empty names
I pass another city block
But things aren't quite the same

I used to have a purpose
I used to have a place
But today things seem empty
In this busy space

Everything moves
At a faster rate
Gotta stake your claim
Before it's too late

Life will pass you by
If you don't even try
Gotta achieve my goals
Before it's too late and I die


Details | Rhyme | |

The Rustlings

The day flame sputters down to res