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Sad Name Poems | Sad Poems About Name

These Sad Name poems are examples of Sad poems about Name. These are the best examples of Sad Name poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | Rhyme | |

Stairway to Heaven

I'll build a stairway to heavens gate,
Climb the spirals into the great divide.
There your name I'll defiantly state,
I'll wait until they let me come inside.

As I gallop along the streets of gold
Calling your precious name again,
Searching for your bear hug hold,
In my ears your voice a sweet refrain.

I'll search until your silver cloud I find
Until I hear your voice so deep.
Yet again I'll look into your face so kind
Searching for some words to keep.

For the days have been long and cold
Since you left and went away.
Warm embers of love to keep and hold,
Maybe they'll keep the grief at bay.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Name Is Sam

The kids are playing in the park 
It's late afternoon,  but not yet dark 
Time for one last game of hide and seek 
"Everybody hide and nobody peek".

One little girl stops on the grass to tie her shoe 
She has to hurry before they find her to
Suddenly a shadow falls over her 
She looks up to find a strangers face 

"Hello little girl", the man says with a grin 
"Would you like me to help you win"?
"I'm not allowed to talk to strangers Mommy says"

He reaches out and takes her hand 
"Well ", he says "My name is Sam"
Now that we have met, your Mommy wouldn't object 
"I guess your right", she says with a smile on her face
And she lets him guide her to a hiding place 

Within an hour, everyone is searching the park 
She hasn't come home and now it's dark 
They search and search,  but to no avail 
Her Mother is frightened and very pale

The police arrive and comb the woods 
A short distance in,
The search dog Buddy 
Makes a very grizzly discovery 

They find her lying on the ground 
Her tiny body bent and bound 
Her panties down around her knees 
The horrific scene covered in leaves

Her Mom sees the ambulance by the woods 
She arrives in time to see her beloved daughter 
Being carried in a black  bag thru the trees
The shock and pain bring her to her knees 

Her tears rage, "Oh My God, how can this be,
It was only a game, who whould want to hurt my child?"
She shakes her head, her eyes gone wild 
"Dear God, please no, don't let this be, please, please, 
bring her back to me"!

A few days later in a little church graveyard 
She buries her only child 
Her anger burns deep within 
For the person who perpetrated this sin 

She prays to the Lord for justice to prevail 
As the casket is lowered to the ground 
She prays that he will soon be found

Across town on that very day 
The children are playing in the park 
It's late afternoon, but not yet dark
A man approaches another one and extends his hand
"Hello", he says "My name is Sam"!


Details | I do not know? | |

Just Call Me Abuse

My name is abuse that is all I need to say
But just for your sake I will go on anyway.
I take pride in putting people in financial bind.
My favorite thing to do is to work on your mind.
I will destroy all you can be and make you believe that you deserve me.
After awhile you have no self-esteem left all you can comprehend
Are only the thoughts of suicide and death?
There is another part of me the physical side.
This something I have to be very cleaver on for this is very hard to hide.
I will take you from drinking soda out of mugs.
To entertainment by sniffing and using all hard-core drugs
I will take a beautiful woman and turn her into a punching bag.
When I am finished she will look like an old washed up hag.
Yes I can do all of this and yes I do mean to brag
I will turn faces all black and blue.
Oh look out I am going to get you too.
Oh no I’m not finished yet.
I can destroy your emotions too do you want to make a bet
I will take a confident man and turn him into a child playing in the sand.
The most pleasure I get is to destroy relationships, they no longer were a 
wedding band.
When I am finished with you nothing will ever be the same.
You will always be keeping your guard up always being in shame.
I will take all your family love
Then turn it into hate to shove.
I love to destroy remember my name is abuse.
What form of pleasure do you want me to use?


Details | Haiku | |

The Internet: Return

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!


Details | Ballad | |

London

She called herself London
On that day 
She fell from the sky
Child of apple blossoms
Dancing wildly
Into your mind

The snake that hung from her neck
Bites your hand
Expels you from Eden
Tears into the cool flesh
Of your madness
Posing as reason

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share

Her name was London
Call her London

She called herself London
On that night
She prayed to the moon
Apollo’s lyre
Played darkly
In a portent 
Of your own doom

The hell she hides 
In her soul
Toxic drug you’ll never escape
You crave the milk of her touch
Her strange and dangerous ways

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share  

Her name was London
Call her London

My baby, London
Call her London
My moon-girl, London 
Call her London

I love her, London
Call her London
Forever, London 

I call her London……


Details | Free verse | |

Remembering Your Lost Love Again

Many many years from now on a busy morning, suddenly for a moment Mallika my name in your mind, it will force you to stop and look at the sky and from your heart will come out a deep sigh, memories of love, suddenly so fresh like a 'dewed' morning rose remembering your lost love again absentmindedly you will touch my last gift with moist eyes, "love thy name is eternity" your fingers will follow this line on that bone china vase, I know time will go slow though tears will flow faster and I will be nowhere near you "before the next teardrop falls", only my memories closer,nearer to you, happy,joyful,cheerful,pleasant days when the moon rose in the sky just for us, will these glimpses of happy days wipe tears from your eyes? If not,if you are still running on empty just listen to my words floating in the air, "love thy name is eternity". © kash poet 2012 ===================000=================== Placement: 5th (June 2012) Contest:Mish-Mash Sponsor:Tracie RULES FOR THIS POEM (HA HA HA HA...enjoyed the challenge) =========================================== Line 1.. must have 13 syllibles Line 2.. use the name of someone you love in this line Line 3.. must rhyme with Line 4 Line 4.. see above Line 5.. can only have 3 words Line 6.. must contain a palindrome Line 7.. use the title of your poem in this line Line 8.. must rhyme with line 3 & 4 Line 9.. must be one of your favorite short quotes Line 10.. use the name of a country in this line Line 11.. 5 words in this line must rhyme Line 12.. use only 6 syllibles in this line Line 13.. Add all or part of a song title to this line Line 14..use a synonym in this line Line 15.. use 4 different words that mean the same thing in this line. Line 16.. you cant use the letters A D or L in this line Line 17.. Use the words happy and eyes in this line Line 18.. the words 'running on empty' must be used in this line Line 19.. must rhyme with line 12 Line 20.. Use a line from one of your old poems in this line.


Details | Tail-rhyme | |

A Fable Of Death, To The Boy Named Harp.

Here, is a boy that wandered astray,
He went for a walk and got lost on the way,
He tried to find home, wherever that is,
He tried to find comfort that he could call his,
He walked through the woods and past the oak trees,
He followed the rivers and the warm summer breeze,
He came to a house that was rotting away,
He said to himself “Here’s where I’ll stay”.
He was going to sleep when he herd a dull scream,
He didn’t think much, he thought it was a dream.
He woke in the morning tied to the bed,
Before him was a man, who was sick in the head,
The man was curious as to what this boy was named,
When asked, “Harp” is the name the boy Claimed,
The man looked at Harp and quietly said, 
My name is Randal, and soon you’ll be dead,
Randal began to inflict horrible pain,
He watched this boy bleed and didn’t refrain.
After weeks of torture and equal unrest,
The boy named Harp made his final request,
He looked at the man that had tore him apart,
And said “Kill me please, and save my young heart.”
The man looked at Harp with tears in his eyes,
He said “sorry my boy. Now you shall die”,
After this man had ended Harp’s pain,
He left the boys corps to rot in the rain.
I guess in the end it was all meant to be,
For death was the way to make this boy see,
He was better off dead because now he cant feel,
Feel the pain he once wished wasn’t real.
He was just a boy with a loving heart,
The story of his life, the boy named Harp.


Details | Free verse | |

My name has a meaning

My name, Bojosi
Is a fire which started
In my mother
And consumed 
Her inside
When she delivered 
Me to this world

She says
“ When I was imprisoned
   in a maternity ward
   at the hospital
   at the time of your birth
   son
   I was alone, none
   of them 
   I call my relatives
   I call my friends
   visited me 
   when I needed
   their love most
   and when they asked
   me, the nurses in white
   what name I give to you
    I called you Bojosi ”

my name, Bojosi
short as it is
is a poem
that my mother
composed 
when joy and pain
of giving birth
prevailed in her life

my name has a meaning…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bojosi is translated loneliness

**10th place winner on the contest " April Poem" sponsored by Destroyer Poet**


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Free verse | |

Lucinda

Her name is Lucinda, a mere child, just turned fourteen
This hapless woman child, born of the blood of many lands
Conceived of youthful passion, in a moment of youthful lust  
She arrived unplanned, unwanted and unloved, as no child ever should
Like you and I she has her hopes, her dreams, her needs and her plans
Here before us stands, this lovely child on the cusp of a blossoming womanhood
Abandoned by those who should care but who are oblivious to
Her wants, her needs, her dreams
Cast to the hands of fate to drift alone upon these savage streets, alone to face the night
You know they found her early Sunday morning, at early morning light
Lying silently in the crimson blood, the blood that once had held her precious life
Her name was Lucinda, a mere child, a lovely child, just turned fourteen
Cry a tear for her, SCREAM.


Details | Haiku | |

same childhood home

 





                                              


                                                      same childhood home---
                                                     only Dad's name missing
                                                       from the name plate









 
 .


Details | Quatrain | |

DEMON CALLED GOD

The same deadly story unfolds
Mumbai, Pune, Varanasi
Bombs rip apart our souls
When will stop this atrocity

They come in the form of Demons
Kill in the name of God
Nature created species and humans
Why Humans created God?

Bloated egos fill some minds
Hatred makes the world go blind
We are all born to die
This is not the way, we cry

Swear in the name of dead
To slay in the name of God
Dangerous game triggered by man
The same God will destroy man


Details | Free verse | |

Prostitution is not ok

The only thing she knows is fast money,Sharing the honey of her tarnished hive, she has to survive. Man after man, digs in her crying land and leaves money at the end of the bed, the man was a stranger,during intercourse nothing was said. He leaves fast like the rest. She showers and gets dressed, another stranger is next. Behind the curtain she is really hurting, but she still entertains. She give so much of her,little remains. She has one kid with cancer and another kid is lame the other four needs attention the same. She loves them the same,to provide for them all, she works with out shame. Her stage name is candy her real name is many and she has a boy friend, who secretly takes her money, to sniff cocaine, his name is randy. She struggles to feed her kids, so every night she feeds eighteen men. Bright red lip stick on face, desperate for attention, see through clothes, I will not describe or further mention,heels click to alert.Perfume pleading for men. She takes any hand she can get,sadly enough that's not true. I hope one day the lord she will pursue. I pray he will provide and show her another way, to provide a meal for the day. I see her every day, what am I to say? I hope she will be ok ,prostitution is not ok.


Details | Free verse | |

Sam The Rescue Dog

My name is Sam I am wondering what it is I’m doing wrong?
It’s raining cold, wet, dark and I am chained here all alone.
I have been to many homes before but I thought this was my last.
Once this family wanted me and told me they loved me so, I would
be theirs until we all grew old and gray.
Today they don’t come to see me or even shout out my name I am
just left here all alone attached to this old heavy chain.

People pass me by as they walk down the street, shouting ugly names
they throw stones that make me cry and bleed Why are they so mean?
They call every name they can that hurts my heart so bad, they think
because we’re animals we don’t feel a thing.
I am suppose to be brave, strong and fearless because I am a big old dog.
Today they don’t come to see me or even shout out my name I am
just left here all alone attached to this old heavy chain.


Details | Free verse | |

Freedom lost

Here in the autumn of year 2012
I mourn freedoms lost as do many other of my countrymen 
I mourn the loss of these freedoms; blindly legislated away
Freedoms that our fathers fought and died to win and knew so very well
I weep for our children that know not what has been taken from them
Freedoms taken from us or simply given away in the name of security
Freedoms forsaken in the name of security is also a chain that tightly binds
These many chains cast upon us will eventually lead us into bondage 
In bondage none will raise a voice for they want not for anything
Wanting for nothing but for the freedom that was given away


Details | Rhyme | |

Whiskey Christmas

It was Christmas Eve; I was a prisoner of my own divide.
Lost in mind, clad in drunken sadness, caged up inside.
Alone and forlorn my thoughts laden with whiskey lies,
Memories seem so distant, only a week since goodbyes.
Christmas tree glistening, blurry in my vision of tears,
Flashing lights bright, neighbors Christmas party cheers.
No presents or joy in this household upon this night.
Sorrows, misguided gulps of liquor, cloud my sight.
Heartbroken, gloomy devouring the demon filled drink.
No more, no less, my eyes roamed over as I did think.
Hopelessly lost in a whirlwind of memories of no more,
No more, love by a lover, no daughter to teach the score.
Left me in a house, no longer our home that we shared,
Only I and this half-empty bottle, feeling impaired.
She left me, taking my child a thousand miles away.
While here in this house of torture, me and myself stay.
Every corner a recollection blinks by crystalline light.
Splintered and speckled by the twinkling star so bright.
Atop the now barren tree which had shined with joys.
Years before cluttered with wrappers, boxes and toys 
I slam a big gulp down my throat, since this was my first.
Night of my debut to the evil of whiskey blinding thirst,
Never before had drunkenness been a quest or even a try,
This night she devoured my soul, not wanting ever to cry.
Intoxication was a desire, though not ever beyond joy.
My virgin body of drink has choked me unable to deploy.
Sour mash tears wash down my face, wiping my eyes.
I hear my built up agony; pour out in inhuman cries.

User Name  Cecil Hickman

Sponsor Constance La France ~ A Rambling Poet ~ 
Contest Name Your "Saddest" Christmas Ever 


Details | I do not know? | |

My Love

my love...

my love blossoms amidst the thunder

across the oceans and the beyond the seas

my love reaches out and touches

the moments of bliss as the loneliness flees

my love is simple
with profound feelings of yearning desire

my love rages within
the furnace of this aching heart's unquenchable fire

my love basks in the warmth of the knowledge

that in the spring it takes root and it will flower

my love breathes in the light fragrance

of her hair after her warm and delicate shower

my love remembers drowning in her eyes

of those ethereal moments frozen forever more

my love recalls the fleeting ticking of the clock

each minute apart stabbing at my very core

my love she knows I need her so

for she needs me just as much

my love she sprinkles light flourishes of her sensual touch

as my love for her continues to ceaselessly grow

my love reaches down into the crevasses of my of being

my love for her is held onto deep inside

for in the coming of the cold ache of seperation

my love settles between the folds of her heart, for 'tis there that my love for will reside

my love like an eternal dream caresses me in wakefulness and in sleep

and that is the feeling that I shall cherish

a feeling of love that has settled in me 

a feeling so pure and a feeling so very deep...


Details | I do not know? | |

Loyal Bride

Ignorance must be stitch inside
Because I've believed every word lied
The price of a loyal bride

On the outward I now hide
Pain crumbling my heart inside
The price of a loyal bride

Rumors spread, but I put them to mute
Saving your name while you covered it with soot
Until blindness wore off my then dimmed sight
And I was shockingly aware they were right

You whisper her name in your dreams at night
I wanna tell you I know, but I don't wanna fight
Afraid you'll leave the commitment we made
For someone whom's body you've layed 

Though truth is no longer denied
I'll still hold to you while you backslide
The price of a loyal bride 

And to my vows I will abide
No matter sleepless nights I've cried
The price of a loyal bride


Details | Free verse | |

a state of confusion.

where am i?
what am i?
who am i?
who are you?
what are you?
where are you?
are you there?
why am i scared?
why are we here?
what are we doing?
will you hurt me?
why am i so petrified?
i never feel this way, so why now?
why is the room spinning so wildly?
i cant see straight, whats happening?
all this pain, why is it in me?
why does my heart burn so?
it feels like its burning to a crisp, falling, why is that?
what is that?
is that what you call a flower?
funny, i just dont recognize it, whats wrong with me?
what is that?
why, is that really a cat?
what is that?
a kangaroo?
my, what a funny sight... am i right?
what is the name of this?
thats grass?
why such an odd name?
and that bright, scary thing, what is that?
the sun?!?
what a pretty name, did you name it?
why is that a stupid question?
what language are we speaking?
english?
oh really?
i couldent tell, is that normal?
why is it so odd?
where are you takeing me?
what is a holocaust?
is it bad?
will it hurt?
will there be good things?
what about cupcakes, will those be there?
oh boy, why is there so much of this red stuff?
what is that?
blood?
why, the name is such a depresing name, why is that?
why is blood so depressing?
why does it signify death?
because it is what you drop when you die here?
hmmm..... very interesting, oooohhh, what is that?!
that is so scary! why am i scared again?
what is fear?
what is happiness?
im so confused, can you help me?
no?
why not?
because you are going to kill me?!
why is that?
what did i do wrong?
oh, thats right...... im not normal, im different, but must i really be barred?
should i really be persecuted?
or killed?
even tortured?
why does that make sense?
why are you hurting m
                                e
                                  ?


Details | Rhyme | |

Rockstar

There’s a fire on the stage, 
And the fans feeling the heat,
To them it’s a sign of stardom,
But the first spark of this fame, 
Burned my home, my kingdom,
Left me with few broken promises,
The fire brought me a fortune, for a Scar,
And yet I’m a Demigod, and yet I’m a Rockstar.

Blinding neon lights, outshine the Sun,
A humanoid zombie fiesta, a never ending run,
The fury within, punishes my hands on strings,
The red sins melt in the symphony that it brings,
And when I cry out the agony inside,
The rhythm is given, but tears are denied,
They enjoy the show of suicide, the weapon being my guitar,
And yet I’m a Demigod, and yet I’m a Rockstar.

I had all I desired, but is this borrowed life worth?
Fond of my naivety, will they hold my truth?
Yes! They do love me, but isn’t Love the name of my fears?
Of the prince of their Songs, will they hold the tears?
Will I ever be a fool again, to take the fall, in love?
Can I again wish for you, from a Wishing star?
Will I ever take you name again, in my unheard song?
And can your arms be the world to which I belong?

Every apprehension derived; leaves me aghast,
I’m stuck at the medley; of my future and my past,
Of a short lived empire of masked men, of which I’m the Czar,
Or for that cradle of love, for eternity that can last,
Where my transgressions, redeem their yield,
A premonition I carry, is to meet you in that field, 
The only escape so I see, is that Field, with the door left ajar,
Where I’m just a human, where I’m not a Rockstar.

(Based on the Bollywood Movie - Rockstar)


Details | Free verse | |

BENT SHATTERED AND PROUD

She doesn’t remember what
she loved about me
so i hold her in my elbows
as if she needed someone to save her
and i hate that i’ve always believed in
things i couldn’t touch

tree house ladder i climbed you
with the weight you swung into me
told the sky
glow heartbeat
glow strong
glow window pane
hold me tight with your seatbelt arms
i am hammock swing
stardust cough
xylophone fingers
bruise easy rock swing
the meaning of yes
the language of whales
she doesn’t remember what we felt like together
she pauses like maybe i won’t see myself in hers
bones i shift
and the city deserts me deep
and indigo sky knuckle down nosebleed
i resorted to creating new memories with you
by looking at old photographs
and pretending i had been in them
glove compartment hawk heart i pulled
sky captain kite punch like
you name me adventure
name me skip trunk keys scrape
name me stranger
like elevator kiss
like storm clouds
like hummingbird heartbeat
i said i like who i am as a person
and you pulled away
as if my skeleton wasn’t big enough to hold both of us
you wore apple core lips
like i should never be sad
that i spent all this time kissing someone who
didn’t want to be kissing me
as if i tasted like relief
like you wanted to cut me into your esophagus
and hush
like quiet city
like loves becoming a plea bargain
like spit me out as a watermelon seed
you say lets get married and name all of our children ribcage
i pull through her thumb locked
and aware of all the times she said apologizing would
just sound empty
and i whisper i hope if i’m getting old
it’s because you make time nonexistent
do not cantaloupe smile
do not flashlight heart
do not risk what you cannot promise on me
do not wear me like we are the same size
i’m building life with slice wounds on the bottom of me feet
deep enough to hide hopes in
so i can wear them into the ground
how to reach from my heart
so you don’t apple adam promises that
sound like
i never lied to you
i want you to teach me
to glow heartbeat
glow strong
glow windowpane
with blood in your
mouth like you thought climbing trees
could teach us to fight distance
remember to hold me
like you know how to shake
remember to keep everything at arms length
remember to palm scoop crayfish
remember to break me
like you know what you cared for about me
these are my confessions on a street corner
bent shattered and proud
I promise to never use words like always 
refer to you and I in the future tense 
or reveal wishes before they come true 
because every person I’ve ever loved 
has said I was the best thing 
that ever happened to them when they left me.


Details | I do not know? | |

To deal with the pain

To deal with the pain
I?ve retrained my mind 
Every time I have a memory of you
Every time I have a dream about you at night

I will visualize a red button that says delete
Just like when you press play and record at the same time
I will erase your memory from my mind
From every kiss to every hug to every I love you

I will take a demagnetizer and erase any patterns of emotion,
Compassion or desire that transpired
Like a tape that holds our song
It will be erased and forgotten

Your image will be burnt and carried away 
Like the ashes into the wind
You will be a stranger on the street
That I do not recognize

No connection, no emotion, no hello, no goodbye
No gesture, no smile
You name will have no meaning
And your eyes will have no sparkle

Everything that I have known about you 
Will simply have died
Like a grave without a name or date
There will be nothing left to remind me that I once loved you


Details | I do not know? | |

Dignity and infraction

I dip the tip of quill
deep in my hearts inkpot
and cross my name with blood
out the record I got.
My name will not be found
in the book of passion.

I wish I could erase
my desires madness.
But how forget the past
if remaining sadness
still painful hurts my soul?
Rainbows turn to ashen.

The open gates to dreams
tempting and forbidden
are with repentance closed.
I will keep them hidden,
ask pardon for my flaw,
fighting my dispassion.


Details | Free verse | |

Death be Justice

Death be Justice, 2011
Vickie M. Ortiz Vazquez

Stranger you are
Known to me through a split second
Glimpse of your criminal action
Story told by the Whiteman
Hundreds shout your name
Hundreds place faith upon the “great nation”
Hundreds failed to notice your color
Gender
Guilty not by your true actions
Guilty in the name of your color
Gender
Stranger you are
Known to me through a split second
Yet, not a stranger
A story recycle, previously heard
Watched by few yet many
Drained voices, songs of desperation
Faulty process disguise as justice
Louder the lies told
Lady of Justice refuses to listen
Set up by Public Attorneys; poor people’s guilty brand
Murder actions supported, celebrated, acknowledge in the name of Red, White and Blue
Legal; neither immoral nor unethical
Death be justice in the hand of Lady Justice


Details | Lyric | |

When You Fall For The Wrong One

I guess I always knew
That it was too good to be true
That I never really had you in my hand
Just a filler, a time killer
Just a soft place you could land
Not the girl that you’d imagined or had planned
 
But now your ring is on her finger
And her name is on your heart
And I’m left here with my memories
Trying not to fall apart
 
‘Cause you let me
Slip through your fingers
You never looked back
And you let me, pick up your pieces
But I never thought that
I’d be the one in pieces
When it was over, said and done
But I guess that’s just what happens
When you fall for the wrong one
 
As crazy as it sounds, I still wouldn’t change a thing
I wouldn’t take a moment back from us
I don’t regret the moments
When you told me everything
Won’t forget the side of you
That only I know
 
But now your ring is on her finger
And her name is on your heart
And I’m left here with my memories
Trying not to fall apart
 
‘Cause you let me
Slip through your fingers
You never looked back
And you let me, pick up your pieces
But I never thought that
I’d be the one in pieces
When it was over, said and done
But I guess that’s just what happens
When you fall for the wrong one
 
It’ll hurt one day, mark my words
One day when everything falls apart
When she breaks your heart
One day you’ll reach for me
You’ll see me in your dreams
But I’ll be gone
I’ll be gone
 
‘Cause you let me
Slip through your fingers
You never looked back
And you let me, pick up your pieces
But I never thought that
I’d be the one in pieces
When it was over, said and done
But I guess that’s just what happens
When you fall for the wrong one
 
But I’ll be gone…
I’ll be gone…


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Name Is Misery

Your name is misery
here to haunt me in my dreams
In my waking hours and in my sleep
Nightmares and worst fears 
of course you can make them come true
For

Your Name Is Misery

You are the demon 
That called himself a dad
You are my illness, my shame, guilt and pain
I cannot shake you 
I try to run but you always catch me
I try to hide and you find me

Your Name Is Misery

You are the cause of my pain
I used to blame myself 
But lately I have found I am not the one to blame
I was a child
Innocent and helpless
when you took my dignity, my life my sanity

Your Name Is Misery

You have presented yourself in many forms
The school counselor who tried to violate me
The Father figure who molested me
The strangers who forced themselves on me
A gang paid to rape me
A Fiance who beat me 
And killed the child inside me
The voices that torment me

Your Name Is Misery

You have so many faces 
It would take my whole life to paint a picture of you
And quite frankly 
I don't want to waste my time on you
I just want to forget you

Your Name Is Misery

I wish I could get away from you
Break away from your grasp
Take away the control you have over me
I hate being under your spell
I hate the pain you constantly cause me 
I hate crying because of you
I hate the darkness you bring with you
Most of all 
I hate you

Your Name is Misery

That is no lie
There is no mistake 
You bring havoc, drama, and chaos 
All the things I despise 
I don't want you near me
I don't even want to look you in the eye

Your Name is Misery 

I am afraid of you 
I can't stand you 
most of all 
I am mad at you 
for you have made my life a living hell
But no more 
I am cutting you out 
I have never wanted you around
It is high time 
I got rid of you 
It's time to stand my ground
I am going to take you down
I don't need you
I never want to see you 
Get out of my life 
For I am not going to let you bring me down
You are not welcome here 

Your Name Is Misery

By: Jean Shular


Details | Free verse | |

What Must I Do

What does it take?
To find what we search for,
and, even harder, to keep it?
What must we do?

I seek no endless glory,
I do not desire that my name be sung
down through the ages
or even remembered by more than a few.

I seek no greater affluence,
I do not desire that my name be known
as a merchant's, a rich man's,
hopefully just comfortably well-off.

I seek no pile of women,
I do not desire that my name be screamed
in the throes of passion
by ones who shall forget it thereafter.

I seek no store of power,
I do not desire that my name be heralded
as one of influence on others,
on anything much more than my own life.

The one thing I seek is companionship;
I do desire that my name be shared
with one to talk to and be near,
one to walk the winding ways of this world with me.

What does that take?
To find happiness with my other,
and to keep the fire alive?
What must I do?


Details | Free verse | |

Existential storytelling

“I heard a note once,.”  Charles said with conviction and bass from his gut.
Every night with chuck we reached this point ,
Existential storytelling, usually after four drinks or eight drinks.
Talking about government and it’s corrupt nature, the idiocy and beauty of religion,
And even the joy and sorrow of love, tonight’s ramble is brought to you by our 
sponsor
“The Joy And Sorrow Of Love, making and breaking the dreams of many to come and  
pass”
Taking a slight sip of some brown alcohol Charlie smiled  and giggled, 
putting his drink down with one hand 
and covering his smile with the other wiping away the dribble of “Tela “from his chin. 
“One that sung strong and proud”
Than he kind of shifted himself for comfort
With raspy sad reflective tones he stopped all our babble
With whiskey staring off into space or the wall
The side of me that is more romantically inclined would like to 
Think at the time  he could  still hear this sound 
in the dead silent pauses in between speech 
“It’s funny, as I heard it was like it was already there
And the horn just reminded me to listen.;
A single note sad and sweet.
Walking the line of beauty and horror
A sadness only heard by those reminded
By some brass and a girl.”
We all sat and took this in silence
There weren’t that many of us,
Just four drunks and a bartender (I should of rounded up to five)
In a dimly lit wood paneled dive both happy and sad.
 I asked.
“What was the name of that song?” they all chuckled
 as the young one sat in awe of all the others .
I was shammed by  there disbelieve of my lack of comprehension 
“Hey chuck, name that tune.” 
They all chuckled a little more and shook there heads.
As the bartender filled our cup Charles lowered his head close to me grinning 
 Perking up as he told me, 
“Hey man, there ain’t no name foe that song, well there is but it’s different for 
everyone.”
“??” I responded with my hand out in a “what the ?” manner. 
“I’m telling you the song is the same for everyman but it has a different name for 
everyman too!” 
stopping to sip once again and my receive response. 
“Ok, Ok, I guess” I responded  still with a slight  ignorance in my voice.
I could see there was love and pause as he stopped to crack the silence . 
“The birth of my daughter” 
I shrunk, no really I did, to such a tiny proportion 
that I could stand in the barstool jump for my drink and fall violently to my death.. 
Frozen and tiny I sang up to him “I must of missed that one!”
The room exploded.


Details | Free verse | |

242

Your name is 242

Says the yellow paper
At the end of a patient pen
And ballpoint Checkmark 
Readied with fingers, anxious
 to continue shuffling
A deck of cards
Of which I am one
Or 242
But in any case,
zero

Because with one to ten on a scale
 I usually fail around
The part where I protest
That my dress fits me all wrong
And when this lipstick, which is present for 
Each song, each cursory choice
tries to make the air
A bit more pleasant 
and make me seem 
A bit more forgetful
Instead of consciously wrong-
THAT
Is where I fall

My heart is a little less numb
and little more dumb than it should be
But I guess a couple more hits
Is always what it will be
And a couple more scars
Will make me what I should be

I don’t want to be lovely
I want you to love me
Even half-heartedly I’ll stay
If for a moment I won’t be zero
But a name under your 
Ballpoint hand

But I am only lovely
on the tip of a needle
And each side is sharp
So, where the sharp side may fall
So will I, blood in my eyes pounding
To get out, but there only be

242
 tears
To cry