We are working on the website today. Unfortunately, all emailing features are down.
Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Sad Dark Poems | Sad Poems About Dark

These Sad Dark poems are examples of Sad poems about Dark. These are the best examples of Sad Dark poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Free verse | |

Nightmares and Razor Blades

I stare at my ceiling,
I start to wonder, why am I not healing?
Then it dawns on me,
The nightmare clip starts to roll.
I shake and shiver and wince at every little thing.
I'm scared to death, 
What does this all mean?
I start to cry,
I feel as if I might die.
Then I grab my blade, 
The tears come quicker.
My breath starts to quicken,
My grip on the blade makes my knuckles turn white.
In the mirror is where I see that my ivory skin is now blotchy and red.
I tell myself, "This may be the last time, if you finally cut deep enough."
So I try my best not to make a sound 
As I sit up in bed and hold my wrist out in front of me. 
I count to three,
One, 
I put the blade to my wrist.
Two,
I start to add pressure.
Three,
I yank the blade across my skin,
It pierces and then I start to bleed.
I suddenly want it to stop, 
But there's no going back now. 
I wonder why it came to this,
I know nobody cares about me,
I know nobody is going to forget me.
Quietly I say, "I'm sorry."
But nobody is there,
No one will ever be.
I start to fade out of this world,
My addiction would finally be gone,
And so would I.
I was lost, 
Lost and angry. 
Suddenly, it was gone,
I woke up screaming.
The pain was oh-so real.


Details | Alliteration | |

The Malkavian part 1 perfect version

His mind has all the meaning of a madman that is screaming
Tortured and tormented, a life lived to be lamented
Drained and defeated, his family finally retreated 
Leaving him believing that he was beyond redeeming 
The doctors sent in spoke of hope and healing 
The drugs they administered only made him more demented 
Cemented is the feeling that is life is just an echo 
Of an endless, timeless, all-consuming screaming 

His best friend is a disproportioned bird, appropriately named buddy 
Whose monotonous motion in drinking is somewhat soothing to his being 
Though not potent enough to stop, the persistent pounding of the screaming
Often he stares into the emptiness of nothingness, contemplating the beauty 
of its existence 
Only to find his mind is drowning in a confounding conundrum he can’t quite 
define
It’s hard to be philosophical when your mental testicles have fallen to the proper 
level
So sometimes he whispers tongue twisters until his brain blisters
Madmen mask madness in the meticulous mastery of mindless tasks

Buddy was telling a troubling tale, of a dragon drunk off of some dwarven ale 
Who through two days, threw up flames and burnt down the tavern and town 
When the door to his room opened with a plume of plum perfume 
In stepped an inept and unkempt nurse named Nancy
Her green eyes and fiery red hair caused his heart to flutter and flair with fancy
She had quite the quiet voice and was quick to trip over her own two feet 
A bit naïve, she would easily believe anything she had heard or seen
He knew he would make her his, no matter the time nor energy 

It was easy for him to pretend to be prim and proper 
Just a mask to don in order to dupe his doctor
Circumventing the system that couldn’t save him 
He was as he always had been and would be
In constant pain and agony with no desire for sympathy
Just in need of some freedom from his prison and medication
Meditation and mantras had given him the sentiment of a design
On how to inhibit the screaming, and maybe even end it

Four years plotting and planning the perfect moment of promise
A fire formed from a single flamed fueled from an accelerant 
It raced through the halls, up the walls, over the ceiling, killing all the residents
Eighty-eight inmates and staff burned alive in what felt like an instant 
Such little time to search through the bodies, looking for a single person
He found her on the fourth clinging to the bathroom faucet 
He lost his virginity to the burnt corpse of Nurse Nancy 
To his amazed mind, he was astonished to find, the screaming was silenced



just a note I cannot reduce the font so the lines fit without overlapping as they 
do in stanza two


Details | Rhyme | |

A LullabyTo The Lost

Life and cigarettes burn to fast.
We waste are time.
So within the moment you bask.

A pretty face has to age.
Every story meets  it's final page.
When life breaks you over its cost.
Then you'll sing a lullaby to the lost.

The lights in the street hide all but the truth my 
dear.
You can act.
But you can never mask your  fear.

In dark rooms you sell all but your soul.
A wicked moment a stolen encounter.
All things take there toll.

That sweet face has tuirned hard your so warm 
to be cold.
A secret that the bitter have already told.

Can you wash away there stench as from 
the past you are tossed.
In dark corners blood stained angles 
sing a lullaby  to the lost.

Is this hell or a nightmare  that knows no end.
A cell to most.
To others the only refuge inwhich they 
can depend.

she falls to the floor a lost look needle  
in arm.
Most will rememeber a doomed fool.
Others her wreckless charm.

She was  a junkie  and a easy lay.
More bones are broken.
Over words others say.

She sold flesh but payed the ultimate
cost.
In a dingy corner of th world.
Were the angles sing a lullaby to the lost.


Details | Rhyme | |

All That Refuse To See

All That Refuse To See


Your ears shut wide eyes up tight
a menagerie sits in absent light
Time and reason are out of sight
stonecold now is courage's might!

Your eyes embrace a newfound cave
even logic can not your mind save
in blindness you are now a slave
treading a path to shallow grave!

Your screams raise no great alarm
dead plants harvest on your farm
No more shall love be your charm 
chained legs match each dead arm!

Your last days filled with cries
fruits set onto your many lies
Dark clouds moan in your skies
Heart rots as soul slowly dies!

Your death was an incoming tide
bled from arrogant false pride
Fait accompli no man can hide
none succeed, many have tried!

Robert  Lindley
01, 23, 1979


Details | Rhyme | |

Her Masterpiece Is Her Story

Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.

One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.

She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?

No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.

Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.

Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.

She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.

She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.

Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...

That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.

Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.

Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.

This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.

Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.

She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.

He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.

Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people, 
who saw her cries for help.

And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.

She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten By Tomorrow

She stands at the edge of the precipice,
looking down towards her future.
The last tears that she will ever cry,
falling from her eyes, 
then falling into oblivion.
She watches them drop 
as they disappear forever.
Yet, she laughs in the face of death.
Would it really matter if she took the leap?
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.

The wind blowing at her back,
pushes her to the edge.
Almost agreeing with her final decision,
and encouraging her to jump.

A thousand thoughts and memories
racing through her mind.

Her first day of school.
Her tenth birthday party.
The lonely, awkward days of her teenage years.
The day she discovered poetry.
The moment she first saw him.
The day she thought that she was worth something.
The day when all of that became a lie.

Every memory 
that never made the pages of a history book.
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.

She exists to no one but herself.
In the blink of an eye, she decides her fate.
Her feet leave the ground,
and yet, she did not fall.
Out of nowhere he appeared,
and carefully grabbed her hand.
Pulling her back to reality,
saving her from the brink of disaster.
He held her, as her tears stained his jacket.
Old tears of sadness,
mixed with new tears of happiness.

She was remembered by yesterday.
Before she was forgotten by tomorrow.


Details | Narrative | |

New Road

In a new road,
Rain will fall,
Wind may blow,
Swifting our woe.

The road forever on and on,
Many paths to choose,
Many paths to take,
Home behind,
World ahead...

Through the shadows,
Through the night,
Clouds going by,
There we will lie,
Very deep,
Seeing shivered land,
Seeing the dead seas...

Through the edge,
Miles to go,
Singing by,
Darkness rising,
Vanishing light,
Hollow flourishing,
Going by,
World ahead,
Home behind...

Rain may fall,
Through the nightfall,
Through the twilight,
Through the dusk,
Through the dawn,
Beyond mountains,
Beyond stones,
Standing strong,
Wandering lost,
World ahead,
Home behing,
Paths on and on,
'Till the road comes along...


Details | Ballad | |

Disturbed Child

That disturbed child
The teen girl with no friends, 
and is rejected by her loved ones
She feels broken inside,
like theres no other choice
She takes the iron razor, 
she puts it to her arm and hopes the pain will fade,
but in the end it only makes her feel worse
She does this to herself not because she is sad, 
but because she doesn't think any one cares
She thinks 
What if I put this razor to my throat,
and ended my life
Would they care then?
She feels like no one cares 
What she doesn't realize is, 
if she died a river of tears would come,
even faster then the blood would run from her
If she only knew life can be brighter 
If she would only see, 
that she is loved
That disturbed child, 
We miss her
and theres no getting her back
What could we have done
Was there any changing her mind
Only God knows


Details | Narrative | |

The Rose

Once bloomed a rose so young and fair
With dark brown eyes and long black hair

Beside her be a tall dark tree
Whose branches stretch to smother thee

Too close beside the shadowy bark
That soon begins to leave its mark

She cries for help, but none shall hear
Her thorns too sharp, who’d dare go near?

To save this rose, who’d risk their life?
With naught to gain but pain and strife

Alone, afraid, she lays to rest
Her heart beats low inside her chest

And with the hour growing near
She sheds her final grieving tear

And so the rose soon falls asunder
Her final day, eternal slumber

She lies beside the old dark tree
The only one who mourns for thee


Details | Quatern | |

Silver Strands

Her dark hair, laced with silver strands,
cascaded once with sable glint,
then lost (with drifting of the sands
of time) the chasteness of its tint.

It still grows long, but she has kept
her dark hair laced with silver strands
pulled back, attractively upswept,
at times enwrapped in stylish bands.

She misses days of few demands,
the ragtop down, her locks wind-tossed.
Her dark hair laced with silver strands
reminds her now of all she's lost. . .

She combs it out in dying light
of dusk and dreams a lover's hands
touch something soft as moon-streaked night,
her dark hair, laced with silver strands.



Details | Rhyme | |

Don't ask me to apologize

Don't ask me to apologize for being the monster inside
I refuse to set any agony i have aside
Don't ask me to torch out the fuse i have growing
There is so much torment behind this face without anyone knowing
Don't ask me to unmask this demon i enshrine deep in the dark
It fuels my spirit, whats left of me creating a tiny spark
Don't ask me to let go of the past
All the exploitation has been passed
Don't ask me to neglect the flashbacks you put into my head
So many wounds on my arms from the times you made me bled
Don't ask me to excuse all the sin you created
Cause my heart is buried distant enough it has to be gated
Don't ask me to uncoil and live a little
For how many times you beat me till my bones became brittle
Don't ask me to not dread all of this
I'd have to count the times of deaths i'd nearly miss
You've made me the monster
now don't ask me to apologize


Details | Free verse | |

The missing me

With shadows in the dark,
Facing atrocities of the cold,
Yet drenched in the sweat,
I walk down the street

Am bound to follow what others passed by,
Crime it is as if else I try,
Tears follow the path of my cheek,
And it’s the only way my eyes speak,
Lips of mine when turn dry.

I smile I really try to,
To be happy as if I was made to,
I speak of something I don’t know
But there’s what my heart knows,
That’s what my eyes ponder,
And that’s what untold but true,
Yes I know,
Yes I do,
I am missing me in me,
Yes I know,
Yes I do,
I am missing being me……….


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Narrative | |

The Empty Tissue Box

My heart was in such pain
I felt like I was going to go insane
I just don't know what to do 
And my eyes full of tears that distort my view

I fell to my knees and felt the urge
My muscle tighten and pin needles struck me like a surge
My body was warm and with feelings so confused
My mind felt sadness had fused

I could not conquer my fears
I just sat down and fell into tears
When some close to you passes on
It felt like a warmth has gone

So I raised my hand towards a box that was empty with no tissue
I first was embarrass and had a little bit of issue
All my friends hugged me and said sorry for your loss
So now I cry in my bed and toss


April 14, 2013


Details | I do not know? | |

Still In Progress

How can I be selfless without being used? 
How can I be demanding without being so rude? 
How can I open up without closing back down? 
How can I speak if you don't hear a sound? 
How can I trust without being betrayed? 
Yet how could I leave... even after you stayed? 
But how can you love me when I won't let you in? 
So many questions.... where do I begin? 
-------- 
Memories now blurred, flying through my mind…… 
Now, I’m trying to repress the days of being youthful and blind. 
Every morning I pull on my armor, right from within, 
Preparing for a war, that I intend, to win. 
If my heart is my comrade and my mind is the enemy, 
Then in the midst of this battlefield, 
Life is the remedy…
 --- 
Trying to stay sane, knowing that although this is temporary, nothing is vain… 
Learning that there is always a purpose and people will try to corrupt us, and bring you great shame… 
Being told that ‘Victory isn't given to he who starts the race the strongest, but he who endures until the end.’ 
Trying to suspend you from learning to depend... on yourself, 
instead making you depend on the wealth, 
Of someone who doesn't even know who he is, 
while you’re grasping the stealth of your true identity, in your right hand, in your heart, the knowledge…
Never been withheld 
… 
.. 
. 
Feeling the world come crashing down on you, compacting into a mist of air so cool, 
The breeze passing right through, right into the depths of your pores, to ensue, 
The burning and broken and fragile pieces of the inhabitants of the earth from your birth til' now.. 
Physically becoming everything that you breathe, touch, conceive, munch, perceive, every aroma... 
And every great or insignificant trauma, reflecting off your skin oh so temporarily, the mark so paper thin… 
Physically, THAT is what you are… 
Because we only see the physical, right? 
Yet, behind every movie is there not a director… a cast? 
And behind every painting is there not an artist, combining colors and lines so vast? 
And behind every child is there not a journey, a past? 
...
That you did not walk, yet you know that it’s there, not by sight, scent, taste, touch, or hearing... But something inside you, that says it makes sense, KNOWS that all of that is there, 
KNOWING
...
..
.


Details | Light Poetry | |

I Hate You All

Yes you, and you, and you over there
The nerve you all have, it’s sickening
What right do you have to leave this world?
Why do you all die on me?
What is life that you toss it away?
Old and sick, humppph excuses I say
I have had enough
No one must leave
Stop, I command time to STOP
Are my tears not enough?
You all conspire against me, I know
To add me to your collection
Of death
Why? Why? Why?
All your kind smiles, laughter and love
You make the world shine, and give hope
Only to disappear to the afterlife
Is this not cruelty?
I beg of you all, do not go
I have not the strength to carry on
Here, as you all dwindle away
Leaving me to ponder my own mortality
Alone, alone I sit, knowing romance will be kindled once more
Death will come to offer me a final kiss
Whom will hate me?


Details | Rhyme | |

A Soul Awakened

She is the muse to her own sorrow; She is the digger of her grave. She is the painter of her ocean view and every fatal wave. She is the shadow of her Father; She is the darkness in your sight. She is the night without the stars surrounding pale moonlight. She is the music with no words; She is sweet love without the reason. She is your dreamer with submission cold by warmth with every season. She is your pet with cold intentions; She is your baby scared and shaken. She is the bold and pure- the lost and found, She is a soul awakened.


Details | Verse | |

A Starfish In Her Hair

The tide rises within me soaked with failure's longing.
The sea siren's reach, out across the land to me.
The moon added its pull and speaks of not belonging.
I am drawn on astral screams to the deep dark sea.

small waves submerge
my pale ankles to my knees --
gulls cry

The weight of clothes so cumbersome impedes,
arching down, I let go, each bit of cloth from me.
Salt sea in, the salt sea out, my life concedes
choosing to leave, this go round, in the deep dark sea.

open eyes stare
into a silty brown brine --
bubbles rise

Sinking-down, passively, sadness abating 
Strands of silvered seaweed, chill, gently beckoning me
my limbs entwined in death's sweet embrace abiding
minnows greet me with a kiss, from the deep dark sea.

starfish 
in her hair --
fog horn
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Her Masterpiece Is Her Story-part two

(please read "Her Masterpiece Is Her Story" before reading the second part. It'll make more sense and probably be more enjoyable!)

The girl who has beautiful scars,
And the boy with marks of strength,
Are now separated by distance,
And that is causing some teenage angst.

The girl wonders how the boy is doing.
Her paintbrush calls her name.
The two can't talk right now,
And she feels she's to blame.

The girl's best friend is lonely,
And she isn't much better.
The only way honesty is revealed,
is through a heart felt letter.

Her scars are fading away,
Everyone knows her secret, so she can't add to the art.
She's wishing she could draw more cuts,
At night the voices in her mind take over her heart.

Her masterpiece is disappearing,
Her artwork is going away.
"What caused you to do this!??!" her family asks.
"I...I hate myself." is all she can say.

She's trying to be okay,
If not for herself then for her friends,
If there's one thing she can't take,
It's their fatal ends.

But she doesn't know how the boy is,
She doesn't know his feeling,
Her mind is going crazy, 
Her sanity is reeling.

Since she doesn't know how the boy is doing,
Her anxious mind is filled with worry,
Her demons have told her something.
They're telling her the worst horror story.

Her masterpiece is fading, 
I've told you this before.
Her scars are going away,
She wants to make more.

But she doesn't make any.
For the sake of those she loves.
She restrains from her paintbrush.
Even though it fits like a glove.

Her story is continuing, 
Her painting isn't dry.
But her canvas is even more,
down upon her thigh.

Maybe she'll erase some drawings.
She's trying to be okay. 
She actually doesn't want to get better.
But what am I supposed to say?

Be honest and say she doesn't want that?
Be truthful and say she doesn't care?
Because in her life right now,
Having no motivation? She wouldn't dare!

She misses the life she had before.
She didn't mind hiding her own part of her life.
She would just cope her own way.
She'd cope by using a knife.

Maybe one day she'll draw on an actual paper,
Or paint with an actual paintbrush,
But right now with her anxiety,
She feels that there is no rush.

Don't worry about the girl.
She just cries every night.
But she has to keep going,
Her best friend is in near sight.

It'll be alright everyone,
I'll keep you up to date,
The girl's painting will continue.
If that's the artist's fate. 


Details | Narrative | |

DEMONS ALSO CRY

DEMONS ALSO CRY

Beyond the crave for death
All I sought was first,
Weep-not my newborn soul
Where fireflies shine lighter than the lamps
And fishes swam faster than their homes
Like  trampled troubled tramps,
Then, demons also cry.

Groans and moans of pain,
Down they roam like rain
Memories sparked with flashes of feisty flare
For all that is left is nothing but darkness
Piercing the thread of our bond
That even angels dare not dare
Then, demons also cry

Here, days brimmed with sadness
To miscarriage of nights darkness
That even birds glide backward
And when asked why, we say, its nature to nurture
Conscience lye frozen in muss, has God punished us?
Que sera, sera and all go wayward,
Then, demons are also crying
						By Tutuola michael


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten You

Forgotten you
As your mind collects the memories of yesterday
Forgotten You
Epiphanies tie into knotty strings of realization
That very moment. . . 
You merely exist

Back then. . .those smiles
Those. . .distant laughs
Some you remember by name
Gone now maybe
Like the exhalation of the wind
Others dispersed in the world of arbitrary happening
Like leaves from falling, man-made trees
There is no doubt that they have
Forgotten you

Activate the bomb
Ignite the fuse
And you’re on next year’s history book
Never forgotten
But drained of all remaining good

That smile you gave
That happiness
The warm embrace so long ago
Salt-coated with piles of rubbish
Over last remaining mental spurts of comfort
Evil, evil, evil, evil, EVIL. . .
Always absorbed and remembered
. . .though never forgiven. . .

All good and gracious sentiments
Packed up in a box set nonchalantly in Downstair’s storage
. . .that chair with the broken leg in the corner of the room
That mangled cobweb holding a dangling, lifeless spider
A drowned sailor’s hat drifting through the current of the ocean
The single tear from a soldier’s vigilant, memory-stricken eye
The frustrating thoughts of a mute
The unchanged. . .HATED deformations

Forgotten you. . .
One soul brings to light weary, unthought-of happenings
Wedged deep into what she can only imagine
With not even a hint of understanding
. . .of the pain. . . .of the bewildering distortions
Of the ugly. . .
One soul merely vomits sickly verse after verse

As humanity embraces its downfall
The poet hangs onto her unjustifiable, forgotten. . .
Words


Details | Rhyme | |

Tomorrow


The year is grey and cold,
And we bid the winter go;
So all the dark and weary world,
Will be purged of blowing snow.

Tomorrow cry the branches,
From out of their sad heart;
My closed buds will open,
With green leaves all apart.

Tomorrow sings the robin,
To pipe her song again;
Her nest filled with eggs,
Warmed in spring's soft rain.

Tomorrow bleats the sheep,
My little lambs will run;
Playing in the meadow,
Beneath the golden sun.

We too wait for tomorrow,
That spring should come to be;
For Him to weave the threads,
Of life's dark destiny.

So all the hearts grown cold,
From life's cruel time and pain;
May bloom all fresh and green,
In Springtime's soft cool rain.

For all the hollow promises,
Of sad and empty years;
Are bringing back to tomorrow's
Joy with no more tears.



Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Free verse | |

Saved My Life

I went back into that dark, dark place 
Were demons dwell 
And 
Lives are taken away
But
Through the pain 
And 
Through the tears 
You were there and kept me near. 
You saved my life by loving me; 
Your silent strength was the key. 
Gentle touches and silent words 
Let me know that love was the cure. 
Depression is my evil curse, 
And 
When it planted the seed of death
Your love washed it away 
And
Gave me the strength
To seek the help I needed to keep it at bay. 
I’ve walked that dark path so many times 
I’ve done lost track, 
But 
Things have change 
And God’s given me a special tool 
To help me through, 
I have you and Joshua too, 
And 
Rooted deeper is the knowledge 
Both of you want me to stay a little longer. 
So like a drug addict that has lost their way
I start the road back to brighter days,
And
There are not enough words to say
I Love You 
In every way 
And 
May God bless us ever day.


Details | I do not know? | |

In This Dark Corner

In this dark corner
Of this dark room,
I sit in the shadows,
I sit in the doom.
I see a light,
A light right ove there,
I cannot reach it.
No longer its there.
In this large group,
Of people I love,
I feel so alone,
Like everyones above.
This isnt a choice,
Of choices its not.
To be sad and depressed
I just think a whole lot.
Through my mind runs some thoughts,
Thoughts of rough times,
The times times of great hurt,
The times of great crimes.
Crimes done unto me
Seems jail would be fitting.
"Oh stop being sad,
Your overreacting."
Though stopping I cant,
Its not my control.
I guess I can try.
Cause its getting old.
If your life is bad,
Well, heck, so is mine.
If yours is so bad 
Keep down, dont shine.
I'm scared for us all.
For the world that is.
We are all dead,
Only a few people live.
No one can change.
Not even me.
Cause lifes filled with misery,
hurt, death, not glee.
Listen up now,
I have something to say.
If this all is ending,
Its ending today.
In this dark corner,
Of this dark room,
I sit in the shadows,
I sit in the doom.


Details | Free verse | |

The Hands of Pain

My soul pounds with rage.
This heart has been scorched,
by your burning words.

My soul gasps for light 
slowly suffocated,
By your hands of pain.

I bare the mark of shame.
Your touch has maimed my body.
My mind drowned out my screams.

Blow by blow,
Shamed so low.
Never did you know how,
Your hands of pain marked me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Pain and Loneliness

 Loneliness and pain creates a void
 Dark shadows haunt, torment and torture
 only reflective thoughts of happiness
 
 Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
 It is futile to hope and dream

 Emptiness is overwhelming
 A deepening sea of nowhere consumes
 And eats away at every connecting thread

 Nothing considered worthy remains
 Destined to walk through life less ordinary
 Alone, exiled, different and disdained.


Details | Blank verse | |

Blood and Bullets

Inspired by the Connecticut tragedy and another minor shooting that happened in my home state
-------------------------------------

Blood and Bullets

That night we cried ourselves to sleep
For each of the little children the blood did weep
Serve upon this misery and damage
No words will excuse the savage

The vultures swoop, spread the sugar coated lies
But still the frozen child dies
Yet they still wish to remove what little safety we have
But they fail to see that will not stop the slings and arrows they have

For the media projects the fame they crave
Like wild dingos they consume what we fail to save
Serve and protect is not the duty of just some but all as a whole
ALL AS A WHOLE

And we fail
And we fail

The cameras prance around like costumed horses in a dance
All the while the mud splattered reality burns and singes the lines of damned fantasies
We are to blame, shining glitter and fame on the damned souls that should be burned
We spit acidic words of hate all the while praising them in glittering spectral lights of fame 
They do not heed the angry words, but revel in the talk of them...them..
Them...

It's

All

About

THE KILLER

Blood and bullets pollute the spoiled ground but no one cares for the rotten
Sadness rings through for a week but soon the victims are forgotten
But no one forgets the criminal...Infamous
He is immortalized by the fame...fame...infamous

Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets

Blood stains
Bullets jump

dead forgotten
left rotten

Monster remembered

remembered

Blood and bullets

Blood

and bullets


Details | Blank verse | |

Forlorn

In my heart there’s no longer 
loneliness from longing for love.
Finally found someone to love, 
but he is my silent sorrow manifest.

In my chest there’s still even now 
a prolonging lonesomeness.
Finally found somewhere to live, 
but it is my isolating incubation erect.

In my head there’s still me, myself, 
and I comforting my lonely heart.
Finally found someway to befriend, 
but they are my persona’s karma manifest.

In my soul there’s no longer 
loneliness from longing for love.
Finally found some truth of whom I am, 
but my heart’s still filled with loneliness.


Details | Free verse | |

Sorrow of Rain

Foolishness rose inside this heart
It screamed for the quietude of present
And covered its ear at the screeches of piercing past
Groveling, undulating . . . the mountains arose
And all was in eyesight 
Senses bled out and the lambs painfully drank

This heart was once brazen, haughty and bright
Now it patiently waits for the blankets of night
It will never be uncovered, unraveled . . . discovered
This was the thought of the heart in history
But many have come across it
Only to pass by in distain 
For who can bear the noisy sorrow of rain? 
They pass feeling the anguish throb
Touching their hearts for moments
Only to be lost in the void named Forgotten

Fool . . . fool, how could you believe? 
This isn’t real—they cannot see
But in this place you have so easily found
Harder will it be in this heart—
To leave
To give away

It has fallen into selfish feeling
And it waits and wallows
Screaming still for silence
Never to attain
Only to gain the sorrow of rain

March 14, 2013


Details | Free verse | |

Lamenting Spirit

Seemingly standing alone,
In the shadows of doubt and fear,
Lost, cold, forgotten,
Cold is the grasp of death that nears

Seeking a hand in darkness of solitude,
Wishing for nothing but a love,
Turned away, cast aside, borne not even a stray, lone thought,
Towering aloft, looked down upon from far above

Throned so high overhead, just as kings of old,
Glared down upon, a lowly tear forsaken so,
Caught within a trap, drowning, mists of sorrow,
A voice unheard, a voice deserted, only a voice in woe

Wandering such great, forlorn paths,
A derelict mind harshly beat, a mind that has since long been vacant,
Rove, this neglected child does,
One mind among so many, outcast, this dolor mind abeyant. 


Details | Rhyme | |

My Name Is Sam

The kids are playing in the park 
It's late afternoon,  but not yet dark 
Time for one last game of hide and seek 
"Everybody hide and nobody peek".

One little girl stops on the grass to tie her shoe 
She has to hurry before they find her to
Suddenly a shadow falls over her 
She looks up to find a strangers face 

"Hello little girl", the man says with a grin 
"Would you like me to help you win"?
"I'm not allowed to talk to strangers Mommy says"

He reaches out and takes her hand 
"Well ", he says "My name is Sam"
Now that we have met, your Mommy wouldn't object 
"I guess your right", she says with a smile on her face
And she lets him guide her to a hiding place 

Within an hour, everyone is searching the park 
She hasn't come home and now it's dark 
They search and search,  but to no avail 
Her Mother is frightened and very pale

The police arrive and comb the woods 
A short distance in,
The search dog Buddy 
Makes a very grizzly discovery 

They find her lying on the ground 
Her tiny body bent and bound 
Her panties down around her knees 
The horrific scene covered in leaves

Her Mom sees the ambulance by the woods 
She arrives in time to see her beloved daughter 
Being carried in a black  bag thru the trees
The shock and pain bring her to her knees 

Her tears rage, "Oh My God, how can this be,
It was only a game, who whould want to hurt my child?"
She shakes her head, her eyes gone wild 
"Dear God, please no, don't let this be, please, please, 
bring her back to me"!

A few days later in a little church graveyard 
She buries her only child 
Her anger burns deep within 
For the person who perpetrated this sin 

She prays to the Lord for justice to prevail 
As the casket is lowered to the ground 
She prays that he will soon be found

Across town on that very day 
The children are playing in the park 
It's late afternoon, but not yet dark
A man approaches another one and extends his hand
"Hello", he says "My name is Sam"!


Details | Rhyme | |

I'm Hiding Deep Inside

Can no one see this
smile I'm faking,
See, how, inside,
I'm constantly
shaking?
These people all
claim they know me
well,
Yet no one can see
through my crumbling
shell?

"I'm fine", I
whisper, my sadness
unknown,
They leave me to
deal with this
anguish alone,
I've hidden behind
this wall most of my
life,
I've managed so far,
I've dealt with my
strife,

Watching as, slowly,
my blood leaks away,
It helps to keep
life's true horrors
at bay,
I pull down my
sleeve to cover my
hurt,
For approaching
footsteps, I'm on
the alert,

I guess my pretense
is just all too
real,
No one has to know
of the pain that I
feel,
The real me inside,
where no one can
see,
I can fool everyone
else, but why can't
I fool me?


Details | I do not know? | |

The Light

~The Light~

I remember the first time
 Voices in my head getting way too loud
Just a little girl unable to enjoy the world around me
I thought there was no way out
Almost took the easy way out
Then I saw something shining at the end of a long dark tunnel
It gave me hope
A reason to believe
As long as I kept my focus on

~The Light~

Thirteen and so very young
Afraid to tell a soul
About the demons in my head
I thought that I had to deal with them 
For myself by myself
Until I slipped and told a friend
Finding out she heard them sometimes too
Helped me feel a little better
It is just too bad she never had a chance to see
Brightness at the end of her tunnel
After she moved away
She just gave up 
Walking away from 

~The Light	~

I felt so bad 
Yet I managed to hide the pain
I always felt inside
Even in my darkest hours
With many attempts behind me 
I kept hoping to see

~The Light~

It is beautiful to see how a family can rescue 
Their fallen 
Just not giving up
Always feeling their unconditional love 
Knowing they were there
It all helped me walk out of that dark tunnel
Embracing

~The Light~

Now I firmly believe it is possible
For the most troubled soul
To find a way out
Without taking the easy way
With love and support
I know you can do it too
As you go through life’s journey
Wherever it may take you 
Always remember to look for and 
Embrace 

~The Light	~

By: Jean Shular


Details | I do not know? | |

The Warrior

The Warrior

My pencil is my sword
My eraser is my shield
And when I go to war
My paper is my battlefield 
When life is to much
This is how I express the way I feel
And so I write such words
As murder, stab, kill
When people read these words
Misunderstanding they think I’m insane
But this is just how I vent
All my anger, frustration and pain
People that don’t know me
Think I look like a bad man
The people that say they do know me
Think I live the life of a madman
All of these things
Circling in my head
Sometimes I have to wonder
Would I be better off dead
I used to be a somebody
And my reputation would reflect
That I used to be a person
To look up to and respect
But now you can see
By the trembling in my hands
That all I am these days
Is a tired, broken man


Details | Free verse | |

Felo-De-Se Dream

I just drank a fifth of vodka
A lot on my mind
I start crying
But not because I'm sad or scared
It just feels like I'm supposed to
Razor blade in my hand
Ready to cut my flesh
First I slit my neck
Then both wrists
See the blood drip
Feel it running down my skin
Hear it hit the floor
Smells great
One taste & reality hits
Blood is gone
No cuts
Or tears
A voice says,
"This is your future"
Then I wake up


Details | Lyric | |

Dead End Road

Been walking this road, with  two dead ends
Your memory keeps returning, again and again
The moon doesn't glow and the stars don't shine
And as I search for your face, I keep falling behind

I looked at my watch, seems it stopped yesterday
So I take a deep breath, and continue on my way
I stare at the darkness, and see nothing but black
As I listen for sounds, A chill crawls up my back

I've worn a hole in my shoe, a week ago today
My eyes are so tired, but  there's no where to lay
It's so dark and lonely, as I try to keep pace
For this dead end road, has taken your place

My mind starts to worry, if you'll ever return
As the dark turns to gray, your arms I still yearn
I realize were through, as I rest for awhile
For I no longer can search, or walk one more mile

I've worn a hole in my shoe, a week ago today
My eyes are so tired, but  there's no where to lay
It's so dark and lonely, as I try to keep pace
For this dead end road, has taken your place


Details | Free verse | |

In the Dark of the Strand

Marquees bright, and neon lights, where crowds line up for movie night
We're holding hands, we're in 'The Strand', red velvet carpets guide us in

Popcorn smokes, .. drinking cokes,...  cracking jokes with Bing and Hope
Lamour's along, in her sarong,... With luscious lips, and cigarettes, 
She fills ashtrays with smoking tips, and tosses guys like poker chips


         'Movietone'  intrudes with news, which puts us in somber mood
         Third-Reich goosesteps  march again,  ... an evil presence in the wind...


Cary Grant , (a news reporter),  loves his girl, and his typewriter
"His Girl Friday", plot is witty, sometimes crazy. He embraced his ditzy lady.... 

William Powell and Mryna Loy..., Asta barks, and finds a toy, ...a ploy? a clue?,....
...an earring gold.  The mystery is clearly solved.--  A crimson sun, is rising cold!


        Movietone in black and white,... graphic scenes, where many die


Another night, suspense on chart.  'Correspondent' ,  Joel McCrea. 
Saves Lorraine, and claims the Day.  BUY WAR BONDs !! They'll pave the way

Bogart, Bergman bring to light, a valiant flght , within their grasp
Airline ticket, in her hand, they must part, and do what's right, no questions asked

----

          It's movie night, but you aren't here, a troopship took you far from here
           Allied troops are moving tanks.  I wait for you..God give me strength




       I'm in the Strand, within the dark,  there's no one here to hold my hand

       I'm all alone...........I heard the news....................You left it all in Anzio




_____________________________________
For Contest Chopped III Sponsored by Craig Cornish
11/23/14


Details | Free verse | |

I Will Die Alone

Everybody's dieing,
I can see the bodies falling around me,
crashing down like dead trees,
white faces and cold hands,
touching me lightly,
then landing on the cold hard ground.

This life's dark,
like a big dark room,
there is no life,
because all I see, feel, and hear is death,
striking down the world with his violent hands.

He kills them all,
untill I'm the only one left,
one by one he takes them,
leaving me on this dark earth alone.

Save me lord,
save me,
nevermind, you can't.

I'm going to die,
I will die alone.


Details | I do not know? | |

Rape

In my mind this horror remains in my remembrance.
That awful, dreadful day, that man took my innocence.
I was just barely 15 yrs. old.
Not the cocky type,and I never wore provocative clothes.
What was suppose to be a quick errand to the store.
Ended up being my worse nightmare and so much more.
In this dark place, the air was stale and cold.
Helpless, defenseless, is what I felt as my naked body was exposed.
Guilt, shame, and anger are the emotions that arose.
What seemed like eternity, left the pillow soaked with tears.
Crucifixion of scars were imprinted on my heart and soul for years.
I remember getting in the shower, trying to scrub away all  the pain I felt.
Hugging my pillow and praying, as I wept.
School, Family, and Friends, are the things I began to neglect.
My mother was clueless, she questioned what was making me so upset.
It was my secret, his secret, that I couldn't forget.
It was that one night, that one thing that had me trapped in regret.
After I drunk liquor repeatedly, and gave marijuana a try.
My hurt turned into depression, and I attempted suicide.
One day when skeletons in my closet were too many to hide.
Wanting to confess the dark secret I kept inside.
I had a conversation with God, and he helped me realize......
All over the world there are women just like me.
Bound by silence, and overtaken by life's tragedies.
The answer is to talk, so that others can overcome by our testamonies.
Everyday I pray that God allow all victims mind to escape.
The day they endured, I endured, physical, mental, emotional.....Rape

Copyright 2006 Tyettea Singletary


Details | Salaam | |

Yeh khaalipan


Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega

Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega

Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega


Details | Rhyme | |

Put a bullet in my brain

Put a bullet in my brain
as the rain sweeps her out of my arms
and places her into another's.
Put a bullet in my brain
for I don't want to see love slip away
please end my suffering,
for I don't want to dare see her in the arms of another man.

I fear the tear that slips away from my soul
and touches the ground with a splash
as she is washed away by the lashed memories of the rain,
please, someone put a bullet in my brain.

I can't bear to see her with another man
laying in his arms
as he charishes her beauty
just like I did to her.
As she smiles and laughs at his jokes
my heart would not bare the sorrow and pain
that would tare my heart apart into pieces of tainted love.
Please tell the rain to stop,
as the pain grows when rain comes down,
please someone end my suffering,
put a bullet in my brain
and stop the rain
that washes away every memory of her.

Stop saying you miss me
and just kiss me
for I can't take the pain
of the rain that takes you away.
Kiss me and stop saying you miss me
for those are useless words to me.
Love is where it's at, so show me.
Don't go with him, he'll treat you wrong.
Love and laugh with me till the break of dawn
as we yawn the long night away.

Kiss me and don't say you miss me.
For if you go away from me,
I couldn't bare to take a tear and waste it away.
Tears, sweet tears crying for you,
doesn't that mean anything to you?
I ask you, stop the rain,
stop the pain and put that bullet in my brain.

Let the red blood flow from my temples.
Let the plow dig my grave,
for I can't bare to see you with another
in his arms, him kissing you, where I kissed you.
I can't take it, I have to make it,
make that pain go away.
Prayer didn't help, God turned a blind eye
when I came up and said why!
Put that bullet in my dome
and when I lay in the coffin, looking at the roof of the church
you come and kiss me, and then you can really say
that you'll miss me.


Details | Blank verse | |

It feels good to scream

It feels good to scream.
Too shout to the top of your lungs,
with all your might,
with all your pain,
with all your air,
that fills your black lungs
damaged by years of cigarette smoke,
to feel your dieaphram expand
to feel your chest expand,
to feel your heart skip a couple beats,
thump. thump. thump.
Put you face to the pillow
breath in. Let it all come out.

Let

it

all

come

out!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Feel the lunatic release from your head
free the demons from your soul.

Let

it

all

out!!!

Scream like there is no tomorrow,
feel the pain go away.
It feels good to scream,
to get it all out.
Then light a cigarette,
breath in
drink whiskey,
red wine,
sit at a hunched over position,
at a typewriter
and scream with words on paper
and go down and get your screams published.
Then everyone can read, and hear your screams
and not just your neighbors.

Let

it

all

out!!

It feels good! Trust me. It feels good.

It feels good to let it all out,
let it out,
don't deny yourself freedom
let it all go,
free yourself,
free your tourmented soul,
fill your cancer filled, black lungs
expand your chest,
crack your sternum
and feel the pain go.
Let it all go.

Let

it

all

out!!

It feels good to scream!


Details | Acrostic | |

C H A O S

Could I not see such ugly drawn out choices.

Hollow I feel such nothing for people it is fear that feeds me.

Alone in this forsaken world with nothing to accept.

Order is such pain that it is nothing but chains.

Souls that bare nothing but lost cause to confusion is such utter mistakes.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shunned

Breaking down in the heart and mind.
With all regrets that are truly not kind.
Shocked at people are, so painful to see.
Abused with hated and ecstasy.
Violated and directed with torments
Lost of words or comments.
Hatred gushing out of life long experience.
Reminding yourself to become absence.
Coward and scared to even breathe.
Like the feeling of knives unsheathe.
Sharp but not enough to cut.
Enough to scare like a door that immediately shut.
The hand raised to help you is a lie.
It is a hand that slaps you so you can die.
Rough around the edges.
Crawling in your dreams in ledges.
Powered to stay alive.
You feel people want you to take a dive.
Just stop, and fall down.
Hoping to break your mental crown.
Hiding a feeling that never feels real.
Like shaking hands with demons for a deal.
Blocked out, out of your own story.
Thinking that people are stealing your glory.
Ashamed with fear.
With eyes that are full of tear.
Lost in such hidden romance.
Luck has it seems to be a dance.
Moving around in your head.
With scary thoughts and dread.
Feels like you never leave.
So you feel so many that grieve.
In your mind that is lost.
Full of drama that holds you down in cost.
Keeping in the shadow.
You watch people so shallow.
Gut instinct says that life with them is a muse.
When your just standing your accuse.
Society is just so lame.
Like all the people that are in it your to blame.
Soloing life is a brief.
Walking away is some what a relief.
I dreamed of many things.
With beautiful sorrows of wings.
Wavered in a direction that leads no where.
Escaping everything by a hair.
Pointing into the sky.
And asking yourself why.
The cage is so big.
Just enough to put on a huge rig.
Moving back and fourth.
It feels that your life does not have a worth.
Caned by laws of laughter to deceive.
Shackled up to be bent to your will to receive.
When you hope to hope.
A person can just show you the rope.
They have such friendly hands.
Like the deserts of sands.
Dangerous it is to just keep walking in it.
Lost cannot find your way even a little bit.
Just seem like your heart feels dry.
Then you give up and give a sigh.
That moment that you do is just all a dream.
You are really in a ward you will scream.
Thrust upon you because you could not protect.
So what cost you is this effect.
Warping in to your mind to leave this place.
You feel full of disgrace.
With nothing to drink.
Causing your true self to think.
Grief is such a pain with sorrow to gain.
Looking out in your own rain.




Details | Ode | |

Love is a Sacrifice

You have my soul, but you have your fate Whatever your words, I’m willing to take You have my word; I’ll give you my breath It’s like a chain that would never be break You are my love with all my heart, I’ll fight for you with all my might. And in the way, you admire your goals, You hold my hands, but not so close. As you go to your chosen path, I’ll accept the fact that we will be apart. In the dark side, I leave behind Within my faith, that you’ll arise Please don’t look back, coz I’m fighting still I’m hurting so much! Don’t want to have you near I accept my fate for what it does, I’m bleeding so much, do you know for whom it was? You reach your goals, as you want to have, Would you remind the man that gave what he had? As you reach the stars, and be the one Be a sun that shines its own. After the rain, the rainbow comes, Like dark in the moon, when the light flash A glimpse from you at least a short For then I knew my pain is worth.


Details | Verse | |

Help Me

HELP ME

When we fight 
I want to run away
But there’s nowhere to go
But down, down, down

Your vicious tongue lashes thru my heart
As you beat me with your soul
And I want to run away 
So far from you and this town, town, town

If I could just tell someone 
I’m just a piece of trash
Would they help me or am I just all alone?
Metal and glass crash. 

I never thought I could hate someone 
Until I met your sadness
Evil never felt so bad. 
You’re driving me too madness

Running, running away from you 
To nowhere lasting
Screaming and nobody hears me 
As my blood pours fasting 

Please save me from this ilk. 
I’m too weak to drink my milk
The time has come and gone my friend
I fear the near is coming to an end…help

Leah
1/30/2013


Details | Elegy | |

Raindrops and Teardrops


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Short Road To Hell

Have a smoke.
Score some dope.
Die young.


Details | Free verse | |

A Sisters Tears

Broken hearts
Black as tar
A sister’s love burned away
Forever replaced with irreversible hate

Reach for light before the night forever takes
Your soul away
Fight the night, seek the light
Sisters’ love
Can be an unbreakable bond

A soul slowly baptized
In Lucifer’s detestation 
Chipped away until only the shell remains

Once sisters bathing in the rays of life
Separated, in pain, for losing the way
One sister reaching for the other
The other sister stretching her hand down

Down into the very depths of hell
Were Lucifer holds her very soul
And basks in the very pain
He so easily created

Lucifer prince of pain
King of darkness
Walks among the broken hearts
Seeping in his blackened tar
Until the shell is all you see
And the soul is but a memory


Details | Rhyme | |

Quicksand

"Quicksand" In the dark shadows of my mind ... memories ache from love's heartbreak lost in sweet surrender fell into the "venus fly trap" of a pretender swallowed by emotions lake a volatile earthquake In the dark shadows of my mind ... In the misty corridors of my soul ... scars exist wounded by love's kiss as passions overflowed deceived by lying seeds sowed magnetic charms drawn to false abyss a fantasy of illusions bliss In the misty corridors of my soul ... In the blackened hole of my heart ... lies destructive band of love's quicksand a pedestal crumbles; broken a veil of pain; unspoken flaming embers slowly fanned tears cascading in cupped hand In the blackened hole of my heart ...
*For SKAT'S BROKENESS Contest ...


Details | Narrative | |

My Hidden Fear

People are my weakness and hidden fear
I just feel that some words they say set me in tear
For example I gave a person a smile one day and they gave me a glare
I did not know that smiling in the world today cause people to stare
These types of stare gave me chills down my spine a feeling that made me blind
Why? why is my weakness the people who are very unkind
Hiding is all I can do when people give me a unkind view
I get to a point that my fear seems to wonder and stew
People are who they are and what should I even do
I don't understand that they are evil and some times nice too
My hidden fear are people just because they are always around
That is no argument and my feeling are perfectly sound
The hate builds up in my mind, but does not bother, how my heart feel
I learned to undergo a change that my feelings become like steel
Hard as it should be in situations needed I forget how to use it
So it becomes my weapon and it is to some people heartless just a bit
My hidden fear is what I see in people today
They harm others and they think it is okay
That is why I fear my feelings for others at times because it is so confusing
My hidden fear is some what bad and some what a blessing


Details | Free verse | |

The Humans and I

Ones who wage,
Ones who rage,
Ones who take,
Ones who pay,
Ones who craze,
Ones who rave,
Ones who crave…

Ones who fear,
Ones who breathe,
Ones who give,
Ones who need,
Ones who will,
Ones who weave…

Ones who plead,
Ones who beg,
Ones who beseech,
Ones who entreat,
Ones who appeal,
Ones who volunteer,
Ones who disappear…

The ones who follow,
The ones that don’t know about tomorrow,
The ones who don’t deserve the morrow…

The ones who sleep,
The ones who cry,
The ones who live,
The ones who die…

The ones who proclaim,
Those who say they create,
The ones who ache,
The ones who don’t wait,
The ones who hesitate,
The ones who don’t concentrate,
The ones who fornicate,
The ones who procrastinate…

Those who fall in temptation,
Those who get in frustration,
Those who sometimes feel desperation,
Those who keep going without caution,
Those in motion,
Those in tension,
Those losing notion,
Those being poisoned,
Those getting in distortion,
Those following the broken diction,
Those dying like the billions,
Those without unction,
Those washed in the oceans…

I might seem cold,
But it is you who is bold.
I might not express,
But it is you who doesn’t let me progress.
I might not seem like I seek,
But it is you who doesn’t know me…
I might seem like I need,
But it is you who might always be begging on your knees.
I might seem dull,
But it is the one that is fool.
I might not be alight,
But it is you who isn’t truly alive…

I will remain neutral,
I will remain silver,
I will remain gray,
I feel darkness,
I feel light,
I will remain hallowed…,
After all, it is you who deserves no life…

I am a metal hawk,
I am a mountain goat,
I am a silver bird,
I am a gray wolf,
I am a white tiger,
I am a mystic rose…,
I am I…

I’m alive,
And I survive,
You are here,
However, it is you who deserves no life…

Being human does not imply that you have humanity…


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | I do not know? | |

Well how do you feel

In high school everything changes
Teachers, friends, you, 
“That’s just life” they say,
And they never stop to ask
“Well, how do you feel?”

And your friends leave, and your grades decrease,
And your teachers begin to worry,
And they make you see a shrink,
But they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

The sky starts to crumble,
And the tears begin to fall,
And music and hoodies become your best friends,
And they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

And the tools come out.
And the objects fall apart,
And you reach for the closest one,
And the ask, finally,
“Well, how do you feel?”

But by now it’s too late.
Your time is up, your blood’s run out,
Your scars show for the world to see,
Cause they asked too late,
“Well, how do you feel?”

“She was so young” they all say,
But really you were old.
You’d seen so much and hurt so much,
It was time for you to go.

So you picked up the pills and washed them down
And grabbed the blades and cut
And when they finally noticed you weren’t around
It was too late you were gone.

They found your letter on the bed
And read it out at school
“You asked to late, but I don’t blame you.”
And your friends were moved to tears. 

In your tree house in the yard
They found you pale as snow
Your eyes closed, a smile on your face
And they realized you were gone.

They roll up your sleeves and roll up your pants
And scream at what they see
Lines, and lines, and lines of cuts
Some healed and some not.

And they realized they should have asked in the beginning
How you felt that is, cause, 
Honestly you didn’t, 
You didn’t feel anything at all. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Friends With Benefits

Living my life on the Dole*, Because my Mum told me so, Interview at ‘McDonalds’, but that Tyrant told me "No!", See, we're a family with pride, Don't sell fries at super-size, But where's the pride, If I can't provide, For my own style of life, Spent my money from the *Brew, On Irn-Bru**, I swear that’s true, Dreary, damp & cold, This black hole, I call home, Only 'joy' I get in life’s the 'stick' I use for X-BOX, And I aint got a tumble dryer so I step with wet socks, Work-shy, but money-hungry, Flats cramp-sized & pretty ugly, Arrogant guy, Until I woke up and realised that no-one loves me. Brain melts to slush, in this non-testing occasion, ‘Gain Work’ is a must, for a teenage Caucasian, Nothing separating me, From drug-addled Dads of three, No payday, Just giro day, No jobs… great, Keep trying mate, No end in sight as unemployment rises, Government gives you cash like they were handing out prizes, Where’s my reason to go out & work? My motivation, Its pleasing no-one now, this escalated situation, Experience is something that you earn, not that you’re born with, Inexperienced forever, if I don’t get employed quick, I don't enjoy sitting on my broken couch for hours, I'm your Friend with Benefits, can only wash with cold showers. (*Common British phrases for Jobcentre or Jobseekers Allowance Benefit) (**Famous Scottish soft drink mass produced around Britain)


Details | Lyric | |

Never Fight Alone

I got mad. Didn't know how to use my energy. So I made this song on the piano. I want to sing it with my brother when he's better. I hope he does get better soon. 
Dedicated to David. Just been so angry lately. And so sad. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Verse I: (David) I was alone What can I say? I was lost Couldn't pray I was trapped In their games I regret it Everyday Verse II: (Laura) I was jaded By my sin Never sweated Anything Couldn't sleep Couldn't dream I was scared Of everything Chorus: (David) Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand Both: (You) I will not fight alone Verse IV: (David) I'm losing faith Can't find the way Can't erase The things I say I see the world Instant pain! If I'm anything I'm insane Verse V: (Laura) Don't talk that way! Just look at me! You are stronger Then I'll ever be! I pulled you in I pushed you free I was foolish Please come back to me Chorus: (David) Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand Both: (You) I will not fight alone Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand We'll never fight alone Never Fight Alone


Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Elegy | |

Let Go

A long list of names with not a friend among them
Is it just of book of hidden faces
Forgotten faces?
Not a single word I've ever said was
written with truth
And here's the proof

When there's tears streaming down my face
Stuck in place
Is a smile that is a lie
When every time  I look around
I want to die

No friendly faces, in the brightest of places
And I can't make a sound
Is this life or is it just a dark hell
 How is one to live without living
Feeling lonely
Lost in a sea of sound

The darkness inside me
Is seeping through my heart
and making me lose my self control
Turn the shower up higher so they don't hear me cry
It's all I can do, just living a lie

The friends I thought I had
left when I was reaching my lowest
Now as I sink below the surface
The sun is the dimmest of lights

Scratching at my sides
Not ready to go back to the blade
So long gone, I've reached the breaking point 
but I'm afraid to let go


Details | Alliteration | |

Pain

I see the blood
You too know my thoughts
You ask me why i did this
I am ashamed at the sight
I did what i needed
My mind telling my soul
What my body wouldn’t do

Is this how it is
The satisfaction i never get
The reward of nothing
My heart cries just once
To see the hope
To feel the love it never has
To fill the gap its always had

You whisper to me
Tell me what i want to hear
But it's not what i want
It weakens me to think
All this time you thought 
But never knew me

I doubt myself 
You try to comfort me
The grip of your soul holds me
Tightens around mine
I feel your strength
The strength i never had

It doesn’t help me
Only makes this worse
The guilt I’ve felt gets worse
Burns in my chest like a fire
It will never die down
The pain is there
And it plans to stay. 


Details | Romanticism | |

Can you feel me

Feel me standing there
on the draw bridge
that stands stubburn and erect
over the rushing waters blown by the wind
back and forth.
I listened to the crows
posted on gargoils designed
of eightenth century Gothic architecture
singing their death songs,
when the sun is setting in the far.

The voices of women passing
startle me with a feeling of sorrow
I can't breathe, I am dying.
Feel me, can you feel me rot away?
Slowly but surely rot away
as time passes with ease,
and taxi cabs take smiling, intoxicated faces
to wayward cafes, oh how they screech to a halting stop
and wave to me to get in.

"No thank you, I'd rather walk." I say to the smiling faces
highly intoxicated with the thought of the birds and the bees
rattling around in their empty minds.
Then they drive off, into the city lights and turn a darkened corner.
I look at the rushing water
and feel myself rot away
slowly but surely rot away.

Can you feel me?
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Feel my heart thump with slow paces
that manage to keep up with fast melodies.
Of songs that play in your mind
only the ones that make you sigh
and think those one days in Spring time
as you walked over the draw bridge
and paid no mind to the water underneth.
I hear no more talk of you and me, I hear no more talk
of the good old times we all shared.
Time has passed, as I take my last breathe
and hold my chest and shead a tear.
Feel me, can you?
If you can, put your hand to my weak heart 
and feel it thump away with every second wasted
on useless items.
Now, see me a man of one time greatness
reflect his life with a reflection in the water below.
How I sigh and cry and breath heavely,
as I feel myself rot away.

The voices of woman pass me by.
Tomorrow is a new day,
for the smiling faces in taxi cabs will go home
and soak their raging hangovers with cool, wet rags.
As I still stand on the draw bridge singing with the crows,
feeling myself rot away.

Can you feel me without you, rotting away?
I surely can feel myself rot.
Such a heavy word, "rot"
So vulgare, yet a great description of me,
without you.

I pull out a shawl you once wore and I kiss it.
As the wind gusts and the sun rises and my shadow
comes to meet me, the wind shall take my last memory
of you away.
And I shall weep no more.
Then what will I do? Shall I walk the streets
and think of you.
Yes you, still rambling all throughout my head
like a lose screw.
Can you feel me? Feel me rot away
feel me think about you, and all your works.
Can you feel me?


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Rhyme | |

Harmonica


The ghosts come stern to foreshadow
their routes westward to Atlantic,
nautilus trust to sea mantic,
- and ocean deities endow.

Their ancestors were apt sailors,
to serve an equal cause for years,
on compassed routes - funeral tears,
sabled wives shed to sea bailors.

The blue engagement is a spell,
that haunts the island men since birth;
whom sea engulfs is an owing dearth,
to morose depths of mournful well.

The sailors stand on the stern deck,
as dusk turns colors to dark gray,
with a harmonica's sad play,
the long tear shadows and stares beck.

© G.V. 07-18-2012, All Rights Reserved


Details | Free verse | |

Tell Me Why

Why?
Why?
Why?

Tell me why?
Tell me why?
Tell me why?

Was it, because I was too nice,
I was too much of a gentleman,
or was just too much to handle?

Was it, because you were young?
Was it, because you couldn't find your heart,
in all that darkness?
Was it, because you just didn't feel the love?

Why?
Why me?
A man like me, deserves no pain,
no heartbreak.
So, why me?

I pray and ask the Gods,
why!
But an unresponsive god never speaks to me.
He sits there and watches... watching what?
Nothing, but a heart being torn to shreds.

Was it, because I was too careful?
Was it, because I loved too much?
Was it, because one half of the heart couldn't fit the whole?

I ask you, because I still love you.
Come to me, my beautiful,
stop this nonsense,
I cannot make you love me,
but I sure can try to show you love.

Do not blink,
do not take a gift sent down from the Gods
for granted.
Appriciate what you have,
appriciate me, because one day,
when you need a shoulder to cry one,
you will not be able to find me, anywhere.
I will be lost,
in a fool's dream of romance and love,
that will never come on my front doorstep.
Still dreaming of the possibilities of you and I.
My heart is with you always,
but I will soon expire,
so do not wait too long.

-10/5/2013


Details | Rhyme | |

My island home

   The sand pelts my skin, as it blows with the wind. The waves lap at my toes, once again and again. 
   All this beauty surrounds me, near this magical sea. But one thing just dumbfounds me, why'd I leave-why'd I leave. 
   In the crystal blue waters, my spirit felt free. I gazed long at the wonders, and the views there to see. 
   On the shores I felt happy, near that magical sea. So my soul keeps on asking, why'd I leave-why'd I leave. 
   In the jungle waits adventure, and fruits beyond dreams. Where far in the distance, a menehuné man screams.  
   Standing just three feet tall, spear readied in hand. The menehuné sit waiting, to protect this great land. 
   They hide in the bushes, they hide in the trees. And again the thought pushes, why'd I leave-why'd I leave. 
   In great bamboo forests, all the canes block the light. But I assure it's the purest, of any dark sight. 
  As they sway with the breeze, ones mind sets at ease. But once again my words breathe, why'd I leave-why'd I leave. 
   Winding trails cross rivers, then journey through caves. In the pitch dark one quivers, but must remain brave. 
   For at the end of the darkness, you will find a great sight. Once your eyes readjust, to the quick change of light. 
   Right before you you'll find, a great cliff you must climb. But it's fantastic views, will be one of a kind. 
   You'll see fountains of water, pouring out from hillsides. As they carve through the mountains, you'll be filled with much pride. 
   Knowing all this is yours, for this moment in time. But I pray don't let go, for all this, was once mine. 
   It was mine to explore, it was all mine to roam. It was my sandy shore, it was my island home. 
   But now here in this city, I'm filled with self pity. As my heart slowly sinks, and my mood becomes shitty. 
   I always will grieve, this mistake I believe. And always will scream, why'd I leave-why'd I leave...


Details | Lyric | |

The Night Walk.

                                                                                   **A WINNING POEM**


That night, my heart pleaded i should
Wait over and pass the night at grand pa's 
Old inn.
Enormous was my concern to reach home 
And see Constance La France.... the rambling poet.
About "create your own form, may be?"
I embraced the night and darkness mingled 
With my eyes;

Yonder are night workers,
Here and there they wander,
Seaching for who to plunder,
Oh! what a mighty wonder.
Look at that  supermarket,
And a man with a mask,
Gun and matchet,
He most be a burglar,
Oh! i must be undercover,
Or else i step into danger,
For the night is in dark anger.

"Ahh! ahhh!! ahhhh!!!" the cry of a victim,
Something must have wrought a cry,
Who will be the rescue?
For me, this night walk must linger.
Look at the police, having me as an 
Accomplice, they need my identity and money,
Yet yonder is the victim crying....

Look over there! drug users
Assembling in dark corners,
Swaying like feathers,
In the midst of their daily rituals,
That is never beneficial,
Oh! blind earth leading to an open death.
Group upon groups, stationed in their post,
Looking so malicious, looking so vicious, 
Brandishing weapons, ready for the slaughter,
Gun shoots clatter as a group fight starter.
Charles melody has seen wonder
And endless palaver.

Knives mingled with flesh, blood and bone,
Men eager and bold,
Heads bounce like ball,
Suddenly, calmness......
Gba! gba!! gba!!! another trigger's verdict?
Lord when will these pass over?
For i am likening to salt in water,
Never to calm and ponder,
The night walk seemed not to be over. 

For the night is in dark anger....


BY CHARLES MELODY (Lightening Ink)                  **14TH PLACE IN
 CONSTANCE LA FRANCE CONTEST,
 WITH THE THEME; "DEEP, DARK AND DRAMATIC".
===============================
The form of this poem is called,"stream of consciousness." 
i formed it so because the thought kept coming
 like a stream or river of consciousness in my mind,
i was conscious of the dangers i knew, especially in my Little
African village and the war that covered it.
For "Constance La France, the Rambling poet's contest.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dialogue of Souls


Best of friends, for countless years,
we had the best of times.
Now as my eyes are filled with tears,
your soul to Heaven climbs.
The path we take, not always clear,
I feel so lost without you here.
Your last words, prophetic now,
“I’ll be home soon”- you knew somehow.
You left me here, I’m so alone,
but I dreamed Heaven had a phone.
We talked all night, you fell asleep,
I held the line to hear you breathe…  

 

   Copyright © 2013


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Narrative | |

Physically and Mentally Abuse

I was born in a world of poverty and soiled life of a third world country
The way I lived till I was five years of age was walls of boundary
These walls had towers of guards that had no heart or care
If a child would try to climb the wall they lose their life I swear

Father had drank and threatened my mother with a knife
My father lost his job and wife and that was the hardship of life
He stopped my mother from taking off with me in her arm
Hoping that my father would ignore and left me be with no harm

When my father went off to drink one night and came home with rage
My brothers stood by my crib and took a beating that set up the next stage
My father had woken up to three scared children half starved and in pain
His final words as he walk away from the orphanage gate live life do not go insane

I was still a baby in the orphanage; the caretakers did not really care about the babies
They stole items and materials those wicked men and maternal evil ladies
They starved all the babies because it cost a lot to keep them alive
As a child of that age I could feel the sins and greed that gave out bad vibes

I was ignorant about what I drank and ate, as I see white maggots move in my bottle
As I see them move I thought about how they were playing and some were hostel
They ate each other to keep each other alive in a manner that took me by surprise
In the back round I hear others throwing things with sounds of painful cries

I got very strong at a young age I was able to start pulling myself up over the cage
My feelings were to see my brothers with strong lungs that I cried out of rage
My two brothers came to see me and sneak food into my crib
The caretaker would find the food in my hands as they grabbed it and hit me on my ribs

As painful as it was I kept eating the food with blood in my mouth as it was instinct
I sometimes laid in my crib dazed and confused with smell of death so distinct
With all my might I kept myself strong and climb the small wall
I finally was old enough to get out of the building and I could hear my brothers call

With tears of joy with short legs that ran as fast as my heart
I ran to my brothers arms and held their hands to have a new start
I grew stronger everyday but more things came into my life in a manner of dismay
If my brothers stay by my side I could smile and everyday their would be okay



Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Quatrain | |

Lonely Soul

A well-worn path
of one lonely soul,
a solitary journey that
begins to take a toll.

A lonely soul that
was left an empty heart,
on one darkened day
when true love did depart.

A soul left lonesome
to live a painful life,
where a scar remains
like a cut from a knife.

Dark days turn to night
teardrops falling like rain,
no umbrella can shield
perennial tears of pain.

For a lonely lost soul
no comfort can be found,
there is no more love
when no light is around.


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Ask--Don't Tell

A spiral curl upon her brow,
She can't recall how it all began
She can't recall how it came to this
No names are shared, he doesn't care
He doesn't ask...........she doesn't tell
She doesn't tell.........he doesn't ask
She promises herself, 
                 this will be the last


A small tattoo, a trailing rose
It wanders down, beneath her clothes
She dims the light
One look, he falls
into the spell, she has composed
She knows the score....from those before
 
Beneath the trellis of a smile
Cold fingers grope, to touch the thorns
and there is born, a heart of stone
Without a word, her taste runs cold
His lust is hot......her time is bought
Her lot in life, tomorrow's scorn

                          
Her honey, wild, once laced with gold
Until the taste was tainted cold
In lonely rooms, pink roses slept
Where bedside shadows paid the rent
                          
The tears she wept so long ago
Now shuttered tight, where secrets hide
Against the dark, against the tide
All shame has learned to shut an eye
                         
A child, a lily in the bud
Has never known the trace of love
All fear is gone, but not forgot
Redemption, now, it matters not
Where ecstasy, is never sought
                          
A tear upon the lash won’t fall
The garland once upon her dress
Is now tattooed upon her breast
His urgent thrust, to her is death
He pants one breath, then takes a rest

She doesn't speak.......he falls asleep
He didn't ask..............she didn't tell
She promises, he'll be the last

No questions asked



______________________________________________
For Charlotte's Contest, Erotic Scorchers: 11/27/13


Details | Ballade | |

Sad girl rising


Sad girl rising

Let me tell you about this girl I know
My cousin, this girl be
Her life has been so very sad
But how wonderful is she
She was a wild child, till she married
And had her first born child
When she found out that his brain was damaged
It really drove her wild.

She took the Doctor through the courts
Then fought for ten long years
To get the money she deserved
And she cried so many tears
She gained a million pound at last
To help her with the lad
And yet the damage it was done
And it really drove her mad.

Her and her hubby cared for he
And gave their lives to him
It was a twenty four, seven job
But at times it got real grim
She would do just anything
To make his life more sweet
But when she got that Parkinson’s
She was close on to defeat

But no, she struggled with the odds
And though it’s ten years on
Never does this girl give up
When all her hope seems gone
She smiles, and carries on with courage
Like I’ve never seen before
She’s something kind of wonderful
She’s a hero, that’s for sure.

30 July 2o13 @ 1043hrs.


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Lyric | |

It's Not Over

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness 
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss

I want to carry you through the night… 
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears… 
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years… 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night… 
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) 
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…

I promise you a tranquil reality 
I want to stray with you tonight 
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us 
Pure, incredible delight 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

INVISIBLE

I am the one the word has forgotten. I am the one that walks around and never seen. I am the breeze behind you. I am the one who is never wanted or needed. I am the one that is only seen when you most need me. I am but a shadow no one see's me neither fades nor cares on where I go. I seek for the way out but am lost. He is never far from me lurking in the dark corners of my world saying things I do not wish to hear. Trying to force his way out into the open scratching and clawing at the walls that keep him in. Sadly the walls are starting to crumble and don't know how much longer they will hold starting to give up on fixing the wall. Soon he will be free and there is nothing I can do anymore or want to no one would even notice the change or even me being there to stop him. So I might as well let the walls fall and walk away and let everyone else deal with the problems that shall proceed. For it seems that no one cares on what I do or who I am. I will stay for a bit longer but don't know how long it will last just getting so tired and no one notices because I am...invisible
[11/24/12 7:29:53 PM] Damien Carlton: I am the one the word has forgotten. I am the one that walks around and never seen. I am the breeze behind you. I am the one who is never wanted or needed. I am the one that is only seen when u most need me. I am but a shadow no one see's me neither fade nor cares on where I go. I seek for the way out but am lost. He is never far from me lurking in the dark corners of my world saying things I do not wish to hear. Trying to force his way out into the open scratching and clawing at the walls that keep him in. Sadly the walls are starting to crumble and don't know how much longer they will hold starting to give up on fixing the wall. Soon he will be free and there is nothing I can do anymore or want to no one would even notice the change or even me being there to stop him. So I might as well let the walls fall and walk away and let everyone else deal with the problems that shall proceed. For it seems that no one cares on what I do or who I am. I will stay for a bit longer but don't know how long it will last just getting so tired and no one notices because I am...invisible


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Try It

A single kiss from thy lovely lips,
so sweet and so divine,
yet I taste posion upon your tongue.

Your beauty so glorious,
like a blooming rose so beautiful,
yet, why do mine eyes go blind
in the sight that you walk along with another?

Yes you, walk with another,
arm under arm,
lips touching lips in romantic kisses,
it makes my blood boil,
for mine lips are dry.

For mine eyes have seen your glory,
yet no one here listens to my story.
You are evil, yes you are,
don't try to deny,
Listen to a man of experience,
you might as well save some expense.

I write of our long romantic walks
we took together, under the shade of olive trees,
how we went apple picking in autumn time,
and made love in the foyer.

Nomore of that sweet and passionate love,
nomore silent kisses in the night,
when the wind blows hard against the branches,
that tape violently on my windowpane. 
Nomore somber tears shed, when you got sick,
and nomore warm embraces when you shed tears of betrayal.

Betrayal now is a game played by a fool,
such as I,
to think I'd have a happy life with you?
Huh, only a fool would think such a thing,
but now I sit, looking at the foyer,
where we once made sweet, passionate love,
nomore will that foyer be filled with exotic pleasure.
Nomore will you be filled with smiles and exotic pleasure.
I've done my job, as a good man shall do,
now pack your things and get of my stage,
the spotlight yawns for anew,
and the audience grows tired and restless of you.

Now I live life anew,
you too shall see life in new eyes,
walking hand and hand with the blond, blue eyed devil
you call your own.
Shall he take one kiss from your lips,
and die of the posion he tastes on your tongue,
shall he go blind, when he sees your true, black beauty?
He will see the ugly soul, covered up by white rags,
and cheap makeup,
and then he will come to me,
and shake my hand in condolence
and say, "You were right!"

Now you are all alone,
looking for another, as you did many times before,
Now you are alone, walking an open road,
spying on another,
fear of being alone.
Now, you see when you play games with a good man's emotions,
don't try it,
because a good man is not meant to be toyed with.


Details | Didactic | |

LIFE IN THE 'PROJECTS'

like sparrows on the streets and in caves
consider how they swoop and dive 
and fatten on dusty pizza crumbs 

consider the raccoons how they squawk and squalor 
peck and fight for space to grow fat gray hairs
and live as a family in the wild consider them

consider the homeless man on East Euclid dragging
Giant-Eagle cart on the sidewalk every hour
with rags searching through litterbins for a meal

consider the hare the rabbit the crow and ants
with no pay stubs yet with no long days of boredom
and they lie in cleanest beds and smile at dinner times

then consider me after the gavel and the long sentence
living with cancelled checks crying over lost purpose
scarred of sirens and hunting shelters for meals 

consider me sleeping in fields with dead numbers 
consider me whose far-distant ancestors never crashed
in any trash but drank coffee with Carnegie on his birthday

consider me coming out of institutions that mark me forever
with a bindi that blocks my name from the list of humans
and to live I have to peep through thorn bushes and grunt   


Details | Tanka | |

System Overload

Darkness consumes me
Corrupted thoughts take over
Soul becomes hollow
Self castigation occurs
Tears of blood destroys all hope


Details | Narrative | |

My Downfall

Power and Control was my destiny, I rose from the bottom.
Hoping to become more powerful than you could ever imagine.
But you were my only hope of stopping my madness and hatred.
My passion and love for you was my downfall, it was all for you.
Now I clinch the remains of you, what have I done?
Am I a disgrace, or a foul, for falling so low to you?
I love you, but it seems, the same cannot be said for you.
I killed to be with you, and let this blood be shed.
A reminder that my rise to power, came with its loss.
Let this loss be the the Dagger that I hold.
A dagger of love, which these hands still clinch.
A dagger which shall be the death of me, as it was to you.
  


Details | Rhyme | |

Guilty

Like tires in mud,
Like a knife in my chest,
The visions haunt me,
Until I cannot rest.

I hear those voices,
Crowding in my mind,
Fretting over my words and acts,
Afraid of what they find.

Oh the voices do not rest,
Until they have torn me apart,
The visions, voices like knives,
Driven through my heart.

They are always with me,
Morning,  noon, and night,
They may never disappear, 
No matter how I fight.

To the voices I beg,
To please leave me be,
For the visions to stop,
To the voices I plea.

I beg to stop,
And as for mercy,
I am to confess,
That I, 
Am guilty.


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me

Save Me
By: IzaDonna

Look in the mirror
Do you recognize her
Do you see the coldness in her eyes
Do you see where the darkness lies
Hidden secrets of the past
To late, the spells been cast
And as the stars arise
My own self will be my demise

Chorus:
So you think you can save me
Finally set my retched soul free
Be my ultimate savior
You thinking ur doing me a favor
But just let me alone
My fate is only my own

I get u try and u care
But thru it all u weren't there
I cant move on from my past
The agony I feel will always last
The knife is in way to deep
So let me shut my eyes and sleep
Cause u can't fix whats already broken
The pain I feel is better left unspoken

Chorus

So as the darkness creeps in
I feel I'm paying for my sins
No way to escape
My soul is yours to take
Just let me bleed these tears
Just let me lay here
Looking up at the sky
I ask God why

Chorus

Cause you can't fix what isn't broken
The pain is better left unspoken


Details | I do not know? | |

mama

mama how do i tell you its bad again
how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt
they want me to fall
to fall from the top of buildings 
and not get up
but don't worry mama
i plan to shut them up

mama how do i explain how the pain has returned
all you wanted was me to be better
i tried and tried and tried and tried
but in the end, the crazy won
they drive me crazy to no end
i want to make it stop 
but don't worry mama
i have a plan

mama i cant tell you how it feels
to be sunken to the depths of earth
angels are soaring above me
but their happy gazes hurt
i need this incessant chatter to go
to hurt me, to hate me 
it all feels so real
but don't worry mama
it wont soon

mama i can see the look in your eyes
it hurts me too that this is goodbye 
cant you see this is the only way 
for the voices to vanish but my body stay
goodbye and farewell 
ill miss you so much
but don't cry mama
ill be better now


Details | Imagism | |

our shadows

Cloudy weather elimination are our shadows


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Dreamer

Close your eyes for awhile my friend, I heard there lies a moon far behind the black sky, I heard lovers were dancing beneath, can you hear them singing? I can feel their tipsy steps making rhymes on floor, and smell of perfumes filling the air, I heard a sun rises to brighten up their world, and birds do sing them charming melodies at morning, they say they have roses in colors and beautiful trees in the streets, and have they told you about the sea yet? They say it smells so wonderful and the delicate air of seas caresses their cheeks with soft wet breezes, oh my friend, what have we seen in the dark but the fragile ghosts that we are!

“Hush” whispered to me, “I lighted up a moon inside my heart and I smell lilies and jasmine in my nose, my dreams play tunes my heart dance on, they speak to me all night and there I see a starry night floats above, I feel the warmth of a sun in my soul as it hugs tight, whispering to me hymns of love and joy, lightening candles for hopes which had accompanied me amongst the dark, why have you closed your eyes my friend? Look through the colorful roses I painted for you with eyes wide open, let the lights off so you would see clearer, let the lights off so you can brighten up the world that hides with you, for my friend, what have we seen in the dark but the free spirits that we have become!


* If you enjoyed this piece, follow the link and share your thoughts
http://echoes19.wordpress.com/2013/01/22/dreamer-2/


Details | Free verse | |

They're Watching You

They're watching you,
they're always watching you,
check out the daily news.

Henchmen rob bank,
two officers killed,
change channel.

Reality T.V.
a celebraity stumbling out of a club,
drunk as hell.

Change channel,
a gay couple buying a house,
in a white collar neighborhood.

They're watching you,
they're always watching you,
even when you don't know it.

Someone is always watching you.
Take out the trash,
wash the dishes.

Watching,
survalling,
like a camera.

Terrorists,
they're always watching you,
Politians always watching you.

School teachers,
police,
FBI and CIA
Always watching you.

Smile for the camera
they're watching
so just wave and smile.

Bullies on playground jungle-gyms
looking out for the ugly nerd,
found him.

Hiding under the woodchips,
get him, beat him up,
I told you, they're always watching you.

Look at me,
look what I can do,
can you see me?

I'll drink to that,
cheers,
for they're always watching.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pain Became My Friend Today

Pain became my friend today
She showed me how to hide
She’d been watching from a distance
Every tear I cried

Pain became my friend today
Reached out her hand to me
Then pulled me into darkness
Introducing misery

Pain became my friend today
Emptying my heart
She’s now my constant companion
Tearing me apart

Pain became my friend today
She isolates my soul
Now without her I am nothing
In her I’m consoled

Pain became my friend today
When she saw me kneel down and cry
Then she lay down right next to me
To kiss my joy good-bye

Pain became my friend today
She introduced me to the sorrow
Who showed me how to dwell in agony
And fear the break of tomorrow

Pain became my friend today
Making my heart cold
Pain became my friend today
The only hand I hold


Written by Shannen Wrass
Copyright © 1995 Shannen Wrass. All Rights Reserved


Details | Rhyme | |

Stones

Your words are like stones
Whether skipped or thrown
Destination unknown
They fly alone
Bruising and breaking deeper than bones

Yet pain from these stones will never be shown.

Whether near or far
She'll faithfully wait
Till the unknown date
When those stones are kind and lost of hate

You make mistakes 
Yes she can relate
But what if the pain becomes to great
Whe the kindness comes too late

Such small pieces of her heart
whats left to make
She gave to much
Now there's none to take

Just one everlasting ache 
That your stones did create

They say you can never retake
A women's heart once it breaks

So next time withhold the quake
Your stones with take
And keep this lesson
As a dear keepsake.

<3 Kalee Lynn




Details | Narrative | |

A missive from the damned to whoever have a little time to spend with this nonsense - Page 1

And so, I have made up my mind, once more.
I have decided to depart, to bid this husk farewell.
In order to do that, I must save coins if I desire to save myself.
For with it, I will be able to buy my ticket out here to a more blessed realm or the eternal void. Either way, I will be winning.
I mustn't, any longer, feel the starvation of affection and no more I shall be fed by the crumbs of fleeting joy they toss at me.

Thoughts of finishing are always in my mind, flooding it, making hard to go day by day, making hard to sleep, to have hope.
I fail to see where the hope is, I like to think that it can be find inside of one's heart.
But even so, I think I am mistaken, and when I glance at myself in the mirror, I quickly lose any spark of what could-be hope.

With the aid of the metallic sling, I shall leave this husf behind, heavy with its sins and sorrows, to no more nourish hatred.
For it does only to hinder my advance towards elevation.
With my metallic sling, I shall pierce, first, my heart, where lies the sorrow, then, my mind, where resides the sins.
Whilst the life in me start to wane, regrets I will not have, when my consciousness fade, my spirit will be no longer be trapped inside this imperfect cage of flesh.
Being free, my spirit shall roam far and beyond to, before, unseen places by men, to  untouched places by men.

Another day,someone inquired me "Are you happy now?" and for that I just said "Yes". How else could I have responded if not with a lie?
How could I tell them that I yearn for a premature closure in order to stop thinking and feeling but I also yearn for love.
"I am not absolutely happy, as per say, but I do suffer less when I am asleep" I could never say that to anyone...


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Tragic Feather

Oh, tragic feather what is thy tragedy
No longer freedom gay or certian loft
How is this thy new translation
From a majesty, unto a wing thou hath mighty dropped

Were thou thus, shunned, cast away 
Or merely, cut out or off
As limb from downward spiral angel
Perhaps, a troubled finch or insanity in wayward hawk

Lie, if thou must, be it amidst a deafening silence, lonesome soft
But, I plead, please tell me fallen feather, what hath befallen thee
Thy tuft to ne’er evermore touch again
What life should be, warmth of the summer's breeze

Sleep, sleep now 'neath the alley's gutter greys 
Catching Weeping Willows damning drops
Adrift as the drowning lily dying
In seas of the myriad scattered rots

An accomplice I shall say, within a winter's willing white
And alas, buried ordinary in this doth the corpse delight
Far beneath the crowds held at bay and forever lost
Now thou hath become the naked grove of wicker and then...
                                   the more of naked souless crops


Details | Narrative | |

Silence, Nested In The Sand

Coming apon, a large desert rock.
Along side, a smaller white rock, 
so I thought. A sun bleached skull, 
nested in the sand. Silence, with
a gentle desert breeze moving my 
many unanswerd thoughts; quickly
race threw my mind. This O'l skull,
once riddled before with dream's,
stolen memories, for ever gone!
A wide open jaw; Imagining, this
poor O'l soul screaming from the 
other side, but never heard. So
I walked away, and wisperd a few
words: Rest now, youv'e been found!

03/07/14   Written By, Larry Berdoo
                         WRITE ON!

                                     

           


Details | Rhyme | |

Get out of my Heart

I lay, dripping, soaked within a dark sweat,
seeing and hearing your soft voice abet.
I want to run, to leave this merciless realm,
but you pull me closer, without a choice at helm.
Get out of my dreams.

I miss you, but I hate you, every last memory.
You taunt my every being, you’re all that I see.
I see you in the crowds, or when I’m all alone.
You’re here and there, on your heartless throne.
Why couldn’t you stay?
Get out of my life.

I hear your laughter and see your beautiful smile.
Once so beautiful, now helping others with guile.
You’re now decayed, withering into shallow dust.
I loved you so much, and never again will I trust.
Get out of my head.

Tears I weep, when others aren’t around to see –
I remember the days, the months and years I bleed.
I try to forget, and to hate you and your choices.
But all I can hear are these damn forgiving voices.
Maybe I am what you proclaim me to be.
Was I really that monster, that demon you see?
I hate what I love and love what I hate.
I try to erase our past, and to claim it our fate.
But I can’t let go, you’re all that I hear and see.
I wished you could have loved, that loathsome “me”.
Get out of my heart.


Details | Quatrain | |

Fallen Victim

I have fallen victim so many times
To nobody's fault except only mine.
I will ask for forgiveness and have faith,
Even though I feel like I am not saved.


Details | Rhyme | |

Seeking accompany

Seeking accompany- Zamreen Zarook
 
I kick to wonder what made me to cry,
Am really writing as a fry,
Myself launch to be dry,
This ink will be a victim for my cry.
 
What really went wrong with me all these day,
What made e to forget my last day,
I realized I jumped out of my track yesterday,
So I regret for that, what is called as present today.
 
Happiness have started to wave hands for this sinner,
Sadness have started to move inner,
The faults that I considered as miner,
So far changed as a miner of a winner.
 
My face was a comparison to sunlight,
Where as my routine changed it to moon light,
I wish to get that twilight,
As a sinner I started to search for that enlight.
 
I started to enjoy what is right,
I remade my faults as a kite,
I wished it would fly apart from my  sight,
My system said, you are free from your rubbish weight.
 
It proved that I always should depend on god,
In whatever the variation of my mood,
He is there to clear my victorious road,
So, I started to live according to His code.


Details | Lyric | |

What I would Give

          What I would give to see those shining emerald eyes looking at me once more
	                                       To see your young face 	
                                   To see your perfect crooked smile once more

                                 What I would give to have one last hug
                                 To spend just a couple minutes with you
                                    To go back and change the dark past

                                 What I would give to have one more laugh
                                To have one more beautiful memory with you
	
                  What I would give to say goodbye to your pale, magnificent self	


Details | Free verse | |

Last Sonnet



Hither I stand, at crossroads,
And then I gaze, at the yonder end-
The vague horizon from where I began;
And all that I may ever deem
Is that- my days
Have been a waken dream.

Hither I stand, at the edge of my dream;
Then I wonder, at the depth of my trance-
An adventurous journey through the wondrous woods;
An idyllic stroll through the vicissitudinous meadow;
And from the final station as I depart,
All that I can ever say, is that
Perpetuation has been a rouge
Of fleeting phases of my life.


Suyash Saxena 
St. Stephen’s College.


Details | Free verse | |

Masquerade

You saunter through the double doors
Head held high
Chest puffed out
Putting on airs
You think you’re so clever, so deceiving
Showing up baring the most ornate mask
But I see right through
The mask that you wear tonight
You think it will conceal
You think just tonight
In this hour
You can be somebody else
But you’re dancing with the Belle of the Ball
This is MY Masquerade
And this is the 147th event
You just don’t recognize me
Because I wear a different mask each time
Your mask is cheap material
Sequins missing, feathers askew 
Such feeble attempts
I smell your bravado
Putrid and reeking, stinking up the air
But I see right through
I’ve donned masks my whole life
That’s why I am the bearer of this sash
That you see around my neck 
“Strongest Person I Know”
But I allow no one to gaze under the mask
Sure I play the Belle oh so well
But if you all saw beneath
Saw WHY I’ve had to wear masks
You’d strip me of my title
You’d rip off my sash
Break the pearls from my neck
You’d run for the door tonight
Quicker than Cinderella at the stroke of midnight
That’s the beauty of a Masquerade
You can pretend to be something you’re not
When one guise becomes worn
When it loses its sparkle
It’s glamour and charm
That first catches your eye
Well it’s quite alright 
Because I have a treasure trove 
BURSTING with masks
Grab another and keep dancing
Twirling the night away
Never skipping a beat
But when the music finally comes to an end
When the door closes and the final guest departs
Empty wine glasses are seen scattered all around
The only sound is the echo of my heels
When the confetti lies lifeless on the floor
That’s when I remove my mask
Exhausted, worn and weary
When I gladly, almost desperately 
Take off my tattered sash 
And throw it beneath my feet
Because I’m not resilient and strong now
I feel weak, frail and reclusive in my realm
That’s when the tears start to brim
That’s when I wish someone else held the title
So stripped and naked
Alone to clean up the mess
Everyone else has left behind
But there’s no one to there to pick up the sash
Just me and the sound of my tears
Echoing as they hit the floor
Almost fearfully I pick up the sash
Dust off the confetti
Smooth out the wrinkles
Before placing it back around my neck
As I throw my shoulders back
Standing taller than ever
Wiping away tears that no one saw
I walk back to my trunk
My trunk of the most decorative
Ornate, obscuring masks
Finding another to wear
As I prepare for the next façade
The next Masquerade 


Details | Romanticism | |

Can't Love be with me for once

Can't Love be with me for once

in my life.

Can't Love for once in my life

see the way I live

and accept me for who I am

and not for what I possess.

I have seen love bounce back and forth

through the darkened streets of life

and I sat on the park benches,

alone.

I can't wait till love comes again

but can't love just be with me for once

and live with me, embrace me, to see me late at night,

come through the doors of perception.

Can't Love be with me for once

throughout the valleys of sorrow and depression

and shine its glorious face onto me,

like the first morning rays of the sun at dawn.

I cannot understand, why

Love can't just be with me for once...

Why?

I ask you, why?

Can't Love just laugh, and talk to me

Can't the arrow of Cupid find me already.

I have found my time, now I have no love.

The beauty of Plato's words that melt of the page

as you read word for word, and my heart melts away.

Why can't love just be with me for once,

once in a great, blue moon.

Too walk through the dew sprinkled, dawn days in August

as I walk to my chamber

and ready to love,

but love can't be found.

Can't love just come already.

Show its pretty face,

Hold my hand,

kiss me and I kiss back,

to read a book of poetry to her

as she lays in my arms,

and then we shall make love

under the twilight.

The stars shall shine

the moon shall be bright and full

and I shall find love one day.

One lonely day, as I sit in the wayward cafe

drinking my sorrows away,

writing my poetry

and love shall walk through that door

I shall find her and take her by the hand

and kiss her upon her soft cheek.

I just ask,

Why can't love just be with me for once.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Hidden Away With A Smile

My pain emotionless on my face

The tears I cry hidden away with my sorrow

Nothing more for what you won't understand

To be insecure for which I don't choose

Jealousy eats away for I won't give it joy

A sadness to overcome with each lesson

To stand by and watch for no control can be tamed

Once in your path I can't seek to search for the words I want to say

The scars left behind to be hindered upon

Only to weep and help better thy for oneself

One smile can hide all without opening the book

Behind it who knows what lies there


Details | Haiku | |

Natural Hair Color

cold cold breeze
leaves partially cover her
chopped off braid


Details | Romanticism | |

Goodbye my Summer Love

Though the midnight summer rains
as we sit together under the geraniums,
hanging low and at full bloom,
we hold hands and talk of old times;
times that were kind to us and our youth.
As summer storms light up the night skies
We kiss the storm away, as it rolls through the grey skies
and the lighting cracks the clouds in half,
riping a hole in the universe, as we kiss the night away.

We sit throughtout nightlong summer dreams
and talk, and we hear the storms roll into the golden hills
of summer meadows filled with roses and a field full of daisies.
Love rests in time to see us grow old together,
and love strengthens its walls and pulls us closer together.
We shall go now, as day turns to night,
into our chamber of love and sleep the night away, together.
Hold us close to each other, as I rest my head on you sweet bossom,
and you nurture me to life of talks of love and beauty.

Nature whispers and sings us songs,
as we kiss and go for walks through the countryside
looking at the golden hills soaked in the rolling storms
that summer offers every year, upon a silver platter.
Sooth me, my love as I tell you of the sorrow I have witnessed.
Embrace me with your curiousity and tell me of the beauty in
the secrets of life and its hidden messangers
that hold secret letters from Devils that send temptations
to destroy something that we share, that is so beautiful and true.
Tell me that life will be okay, and my love is still true and with you.
Tell me my sweet and beautiful love, tell me if everything will be alright.

Love has seen us come and go, through the narrowed and sprinkled streets,
as we move through life fused at hands and eyes blind, not noticing the possiblities of death at any moment stalking us with knives jabbing at our backsides.
We are blind, for we see each other and only each other.
As we live life eyes a blazed looking at the sun, we do not notice the obvious between us.
Caring from me, at my time of need I never noticed the betrayal of our love.
My heart sees, but I deny the obvious and see what I hear.

As I see the knife drive deep in my heart,
you with a suitcase in hand,
I stand on my front steps and I watch the summer storms
come back over the golden hills to say, "hello"
Love is the same everytime, like a summer storm;
beautiful to watch, but when it leaves, it is depressing to say, "goodbye"
Now I sit, as the geraniums dry up and die
and the wrinkles at my eyes make me blind,
I see love walk past my house and mock me with lone kisses.


Details | Sonnet | |

A Temporary Goodbye in the Broadest Sense of Temporary

With great fervor they write without end
Pretty words that could not even be read
Though he tried, he had no will  to lend
The voice inside expiring, left for dead 

There was some pleasure even concern
Pondering the loss of the bonds formed
The thought he could not even discern
His own demons, now left him scorned

No more adventure left in his lost soul
What could they truly understand in him
No more desire, he tried to form a goal
A pursuit also that left him without whim

What more can I do, but write these things I feel
What more can I say, I have nothing left to reveal


Details | Lyric | |

Regaining power

Regaining Power.

He walks a lonely road, with his head there in the clouds
And he doesn’t even notice passing strangers
He’s been here ‘bout a thousand years forever all alone
And he’s always looking out for passing danger.

Invisible sometimes he feels, so he tries to seek the glory
As the child calls out in panic “I am here
They have taken all my power so my blossom will not flower
And all around I’ve built a wall of fear

But it’s his pain it is his game
As he prowls around his cage
He lives in vain, is he insane?
And fear ignites his rage.

The truth be plain, the lions mane is what he must acquire
The little boy he must regain his power
And tell the world “I’m here, I’m here” and feed the burning fire
It would take this much to open up his flower.


Details | Free verse | |

A Drunk's Prison

 
A Drunk's Prison



Having sold cold misery to enjoy the lack of pain
         drinking spirits to blot out the cold hard rain
Beaten down, busted out and without prayer or hope
         thinking of a long step and a short rope
Another shot of whiskey to ease such morbid thoughts


This season of woes always brings out inner demons to play
        skipping rope while  cursing them to just leave
they sing unhappy and merciless off key melodies
        Another shot banishes them straight to hell
replaced by wailing women demanding more time!


No respect for a man drinking and desperately thinking
        of just how far once was up to have just now grabbed sickness!
Another drink sends them back to Hades
        RED COLORS BLASTING EYES SHUT !
Fallen and there is no getting up until the spirit leaves !



Not another shot, tomorrow they find this useless old tattered  
body!

Robert L.   08- 23 1987


Details | Free verse | |

Light To Dark

You think you’ve gone just far enough,

I could smile knowing you’ve gone far enough that you can’t go back again

You think you were careful but,

I’ve caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form

You think you can find a way into my good graces

I’ve seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume

You can’t deceive me anymore and, I don’t consort with serpents

You think I’m a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win

Don’t underestimate me

You think I’m a joke but, trust me you won’t be laughing

You think I’m just talking myself up but, trust me, you’re the ones going down

My eyes took too long to adjust

Better late than never

It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours

My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep

Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet

Then I thought about the mess it would make

I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own

I was not weak, but I had a weakness

A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care

No longer

Now my heart is a stone so heavy

I could kill at least two birds at once 

Being the nice guy is a thing of the past 

Thanks for freeing me of that softness

You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things

When really I had just been swallowing razor blades

Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong

Can you feel my darkness coming, because it’s eager to hold you

If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run

Your gonna be the one with tired feet

I’m not sad anymore

Just sick with the plague of your lies

Contagious, and I’m looking for someone to kiss

Even angels can make themselves wicked

When we do, we take no prisoners

Still think I’m a game

This one is just beginning


Details | Haiku | |

Shattered Normality

sounds of gunfire
    shatter a warm afternoon...
         one more lockdown

gray feral pigeons
     scatter from their rooftop nests  ...
         tomorrow's headline





Details | Free verse | |

A Chance Encounter

A Chance Encounter A chance encounter the other day Got me chatting to a stranger Just for some time to pass away. He was very well groomed, very smart. Spoke well too, seemed a decent sort. I told him a little tale I had learned whilst at work. Outside a building that’s up for sale Close to the centre of the town A queue of people gathered. Old clothes, hand me downs. Inside people of good heart and souls Were behind tables long. And a kind of soup was poured into bowls. A slice of bread was added to each one poured. As the hungry-eyed came through the door. As each one passed a thank you was heard. Grateful for the meal today. A simple reply least we can do. All was silent no complaints from the poor. Till a young voice said, ‘Please Mummy I want more.’ I sat back in my chair waiting for a reply. The guy opposite gave a big sigh. He said, ‘Things were tough in those days Very hard for the poor in the Victorian Age. They were ignored, did not count, How could others treat them like that?’ No-one should be without the means I say, To feed and clothe their children today. I looked at him and shook my head. My dear friend you misunderstand The tale was not yesteryear or a foreign land. I visited a local food bank the day before last. And like you I was taken aback. Unless with my eyes I had seen, The myth about scroungers I would still believe. Some get the dregs, others get the cream. This is Great Britain in 2013. But the people of our Nation are strong In times of strife they speak as one. ‘We are mighty as Caesar, mighty as Rome.’ ‘ NI CARBORUNDUM BASTARDORUM’


Details | Free verse | |

Like the frightened Jackrabbit, I run away from Love

Jump up and down like a jackrabbit
running through meadows
running from what?
Could it be heartbreak,
a venemous snake that hides in the grass,
hiding with fangs ready to pierce the tender skin
upon the tight, bronze flesh of everyday life?
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now!
I need a vacation a long way away from the faceless smiles
and ignorance of young girls, who don't look at you,
who don't show you love and respect.
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now,
as jumping spiders hop everywhere, crawling eight legs around me
my soul black like carcoal, but my heart still beating
slower this time, not like the days before
and like the jackrabbit running from anything and everything,
I run to seek love and vanish away from the empty voids
that people call, their souls.
Recording a film with no tape,
talking to a woman you love, but not having the guts to tell her how you really feel
Jump my boy, like a jackrabbit, take my advice
tell her before she leaves
turns down the endless avenues of endless dark love
the trees grow taller, taller than you
and you sit there feeling away yourself die, missing out in life.
I cannot see you lose your love.
Say it, say it, Say it!!! Tell her! Tell her! Build the guts up!
Build up the courage, tell her how you feel. Take her by the hand and never say goodbye! Never say goodnight, stay with her till the flight comes in the morning
of the first rays of sun shine through your dorm room take her and love her!
Do not be like me, the jackrabbit! I see no happiness
Reading poetry it makes me sad,
to write of others falling in love and I never finding the one.
People tell me, you'll find yours, have hope
but I am a frightened little jackrabbit
who flees from sounds of deep emotions, not having courage to fall in love,
not building the guts up to tell her how I really feel.
She walks alone, I find my oppertunity and sing my love song
She smiles and moves on,
please tell me I cannot fight anymore.
All I have to say is Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
I need a vacation
to go to some sandy beach on an island of love
and write and write and write, the same poetry that depresses me
but makes you all fall in love with words!
Fiction about love stories, please kiss me
Blue eyed death comes, plays a game of chess with me
I bet twenty, he bets my soul
Kiss me death, the only love I'll ever get,
besides my poet friends who kiss my ass
Listen to my heart, truely, I don't write of beauty
I write for the sorrow soul, the fleeing jackrabbit
running away from love.....


Details | Verse | |

The reality that hurts

How many things you should give up
So they will see?
How many nights to cry, so
They will notice you?

Living with the indifference of others,
Forgetting the necessity of warmth,
Then what is this life for?
We do create by ourselves
The reality that hurts.


Details | Free verse | |

When a Man cries Himself to Sleep

When a man cries himself to sleep,
it is a sad sight to see,
tears roll off his cheek
and onto his bed sheets and pillow case.
When you hear his somber cries,
you can feel his pain
when he wimpers like a child who treds in fear.
No one knows what they do to a man
when they play with his emotions,
lead him on,
take advantage of him.
They don't know what they do to an innocent man
looking for love.
They break his heart that is full of love,
they stab him in the back
when he needs them at his most vulnerable moment
they laugh at him, and tease him,
Do they know what they do to a man?
They slowly kill a man, who just wants a simple kiss on the lips,
they kill a dreamer, a good man, with a big heart.
They drive a man to his bed,
with tears running down his face
and force him to dream of nightmares.
When a man cries himself to sleep, 
it is that saddest thing to see.
Goodnight and sweet dreams...


Details | Haiku | |

Stone

In society
Alone and surrounded by
Statues everywhere.


Details | Free verse | |

You Are Rich

Festered lament maddens me
Why must the despair of my heart’s desire
Truly enlighten me? 
I rested among the sick and lame
And found myself no different from the rest
For a troubled mind holds endless poverty
Penniless regret marks as a sickness no doctor can prescribe
For the bottles of balm are empty
And medicinal hope grows angry
I derived my madness from creativity
Revealing the remains of my humanity
‘Cool off, child’, I heard a soft voice whisper
But can’t you see I live off the flame?
It asks for no nickel or dime!
But it seeks to destroy all the same
The small voice returns at times
And often my heart listens
But we all listen
And only believe in the inevitability of pain 
I speak of the majority
Not of you
For you are blessed and beyond disgrace
You have a life—a beautiful face

And most of all, you are rich
With attributes I can only dream of 

You are rich with life and purpose
Holding inscrutabilities I can only wish to understand
You lift me without touch or care
Disposing me from your treasures
Because though you meant no harm, 
You are rich with blessing
And must remove all possible threats
So my festered lament
Remains an enlightenment

I can say I am rich in poverty
But you are forever rich
In Mystery

What hurts the most is knowing
I may be wrong about you
For you are so obscure in this mind
And as empty as I am I wish to be filled
In your richness
But we all are filled to the brim in the end
And sometimes I cannot distinguish the good from the bad
There is nothing I wish to discard
So I hoard in constant deficiency and despair  
And I hoard the idea that you are beyond compare

That you are rich
And always will be richer
Than me—or he


Details | Free verse | |

Death, it is a sad way to go

Death, it is a sad way to go,
to leave this earth, dressed in your Sunday best
While faces surround you with tears
breaking the barriers of their emotions
tearing their hearts apart, looking down
upon my stone face, upon the face, lays a simplistic smile
that shows no emotion, no teeth, no life.
Death, it is a sad way to go.

People hurry, say their goodbyes,
but when your alive,
they never come around, they never call, they never even think
of you and how you are feeling.
While you walk the streets, with a smile on your face,
nothing but knives stick sharpe in my back and gossip
burns a hole in my soul and heart;
but I keep on walking and smiling.
I keep rolling on through like a summer hurricane
tears apart a coastal city in the heat of June weather,
Walking till death comes to shake my hand and grin at my soul.

Then as you lay their in your casket
with a buqouet of your favorite flowers, (Roses and Tulips)
they sit around you, the same faces, the same blind eyes
and they all shed tears and says good things.
Too late for that don't you think?
Death, it is a sad way to go, but what relief you get,
when finally departing in peace and leaving the drama
and careless people in your life.
After I am put six feet under, a week of crying passes,
After two weeks I am lost and long forgotten,
nothing but a stone at my cranium to keep me company
and my new friends, who sleep along next to me.
Dead and forgotten, but the dead never forget their fellow lost souls.
Only the living forget such souls that were so good to them,
now they are gone,
I am gone.
How do you feel, now that I am gone?

Death, it is a sad way to go, but what peace you recieve in Paradise.


Details | Free verse | |

Burn Away

BURN AWAY

We have all lost our way
To see starlight gazers
And men with broken hearts,
Seeking love in all of the wrong places;
Vacant lots, where women all looking for something,
But not quite knowing what they look for.
We have all lost our way.

The only hope of humanity
Is the shining sun
That breaks through the blinds of my window,
And the faint memory of me and her
Lying on our backs in a grassy meadow,
Holding hands
Looked up and counted stars.

Cities burn away,
Sky, stars, moon, sun all burn away;
The grassy meadow
Where we once lay, all burns away
Everything burns away,
Memory and desire and love all burn away
With the snap of a finger, and a new man
In her own life,
And I burn away.

A picture of her hung high and praised,
A picture of me, in a dark box
That collects dust, in some lonesome
And dusty, cobweb infested attic.
And I burn away with a new day.
I burn away.

A nightmare that I can’t awake from,
It is endless and repeats
When thoughts of her are all over my mind,
I cannot take such nightmarish reality
Too see her and smile,
And she walks away without a trace
Of ever returning.
And I cry,
And I burn away,
The tears wash the fire away,
And turn me to ash,
The wind picks me up and takes me away.

And for one peaceful moment,
I do not cry,
I do not burn away.
For a moment I am happy
And I smile,
And go away for a while
And let them all sleep in peace.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

why daddy

dad you were my hero!
the one i wanted to be just like.
everything i did was to make you proud...
you walked out on us...
i know i wasnt a perfect child...
i just wanted to feel love from you

mom always told me that you would be there for me
you were until i disappointed you...
i thought parents were supposed love their children no matter what...
you didnt do that
 you always put me down 
told me i was such a shame to the family

now that i have grown up
i relieze life is better with out you in it...
and i no longer wanna be just like you
i could never walk out on my kid
you sicken me...
how could you give up the child that you gave your name to...
i understand you have other kids
but to just give up and not have anything to do with one of them
and to not let that kid know his siblings....
i could never do that 
no matter how much my kid disappointed me...

i found my hero...
he stepped up even tho he didnt have to...
he treated me like his own...
he was there when i needed a daddy and you werent there...
he was there at my worst....
and he is there at my best...
he will be my best man when i get married...
my kids will know him as grandpa...
they will never know you 
cause i cant risk you hurting my kids
the way you hurt me...

the thing that gets me the most is....
how you made it look so easy
did you even think about the lil boy
who carries your name and...
has your blood running in his veins

i dont think you did...
and if you did you are
a heartless piece of crap

even after all you have done to me...
physical, emotional, and mental abuse...
i forgive you...
not for you but for me so i can move on with me life


Details | Verse | |

To the liers

To the liers who were
Great artists, manipulators,
Perfect friends and honest lovers...

To the liers who were
Talkative and silent,
Kind and sweet,
Walking out many miles
Pretending they carried
Love and trust...

To the liers I speak.

You are there still believing
In your goodness, and you are proud
Of yourselves.
But how sweet and true do you
Look before the God's eyes?
Have you ever thought about?


Details | Free verse | |

Schizophrenic Remedy

I've glanced at heaven.
I've walked through hell.
I wish on stars and dandelions

I crave for fantasies reality cannot satiate
At night I talk to the moon and sing to the stars
I walk on clouds and speak to whispers
I follow faeries to far off places 

Where a bleeding moon hangs from the sky
Where I run along in meadows of black and white roses.
Smiling as the thorns lacerate me.
 Dancing with red eyed creatures
Listening to whispers in the wind.
With this feeling of finally belonging.
Being finally at peace... 
Safe inside, this world in my mind
Lost between reality and time


Details | Verse | |

Dear my heart

Where is your home, my heart?
Why are you silent?
We went through many things.
We were living life.
We lost the last that we have gotten
But still there is no end.

You are confused, my heart.
I feel it.
There are so many roads which
Lie before but only God
Does know which one will lead to
Paradise, and which one straight to hell.

Where is your home, my heart?
I’d love to know where to go.
Who is for us?
Who will protect us?
Who will help to find the way?

We forgave so many people, heart.
So many things we left undone.
We split into the pieces our vision.
The life that is unclear we gave up.

You are not broken, heart.
You are not tired.
I feel you beat still in my chest
But why all the time are you so silent?
Why are you so afraid?


Details | Lyric | |

Living Nightmares

Vivid memories surround
As the darkness draws near
A weak, wounded man
Consumed by all fear

This man cannot breathe
His heart races on
This past he must face
Until the clock reaches dawn

The remorse and regret 
He never thought he'd feel
Is risen from these thoughts 
Cuts that won't heal

Drowning in his own sorrow
Has become a routine
For he cannot escape this nightmare
Because of tragedies unforeseen 

This hell he must endure
Until he finally awakens
To the bright light of day 
His soul completely shaken

These dreams he can no longer take
Tell the story of his being
This happens every night
There's no way to stop the bleeding


Details | Free verse | |

What are we really trying to say here or Get a poetic life

This is a poem to those who think thinkfull; 
whose thinkwrite, thinkthink, thinkprose, thinkcopy, thinkulate, thinkcujol 
as a full member's fool. 
My, me, mine contests are the bestest, contestest, behestest gorestest
since I'm a poet that's hosting, and ur the poet degenerate that's posting. 
This makes me in copulocommand and u in dildodemand. Hitherto inconsequential.
My criteria is susperia, whattheheria and scary as hell, because I know not 
what I'm doing and which wreaks, of,     Oh well!
It's funny to seewrite yr crap as something u think poetcool, 
but in poetreality on my site,  it is only poetgruel,  
as u lack the real innate streaming  talent (dollars/cents to be true)
to tintilate, as yr soul it waits for retooling.
Don't fret for u can be me, and all that's wordly fruitful and free.
just pay the right price for lifetime linear refooling! 
For it's then our poetic equation becomes wordglue
equazic for it's momentary monetary meger word sequestration.


Details | Free verse | |

Peace On Earth

I am told that there was once peace on earth,
but that was well before my time
and I will soon be turning sixty seven.
I feel sorry for the youngsters of today
and all of those who are yet to be born
because I do not foresee the situation getting any better.
I hope and pray that I am wrong in my assessment,
but history points towards an awfully violent future
for all of the coming generations.


Details | I do not know? | |

Pardon my Insanity

I don’t want freedom. Forgive me for sounding paranoid or crazy.
But this man used me. After knowing my history of pain. 
Now I see why people kill the victims and themselves.
Doing away with all evil its emancipation. 
At my wits end. Where sanity has eaten away my brains.
Where my soul has no resting place. And tears are like acid.
That burns through my cheeks. Pardon my insanity.
For I have fallen too many times. Where getting up is just powerless.
My heart is caged. All the impact and friction it took, For years.
And still it beats. Keeping me alive to face another brutal blow.
Pain so severe. No medicine or words of encouragement
Can put me at peace. Love is inadmissible here.
For I am deceased .

01/17/13

 


Details | Rhyme royal | |

ALONE IN THE DARK

I am holding back-against time wishes,
Lurking at a corner, as I forbid the slayer to find me
My heart beats and screech like a choking-engine,
Whilst the snarly sinister hunts - wishes me burnt to ashes
I dare thought to be a bee - 
So tiny I could fly and disappear from the scene.
But so lame a thought like that can help a soul.
The frightening night wants me feed to the ghoul.
Hidden – I have stayed long, linger I can no more.
I’m all alone in the dark, bruised and with a leg sore.
Escaping is impossible!


Details | Rhyme | |

In the Meadow

Dark Moon

The twilight sky 
encircles me
As I stand in
morbid reverie.
My mood so dark 
the tears won’t flow,
Choked inside 
they wayward row.

I stand before
the windswept sea
Their mournful voices 
haunting me.
I can’t forget 
their cries of horror;
Unsanctified 
remains of war.

© Connie Marcum Wong

 For Dana'lynn Smith's "In the Meadow Contest" 


Details | Personification | |

Barnabas Collins




They visit me here though they think me dead They all think me a long time gone The mausoleum is quiet, with only a dark shadow Creeping upon its ancient walls, and thats of my own The heavy door seems to creek all of sudden I think Outside I hear the sounds of what seems like footsteps I open that very old secret door which leads to my rest And with a heavy heart consumed by this fire, I prepare for the kill But then, outside, there is no one, no one is there No one out there now to steal from me this time in here Outside now I catch only the furtive and dark shadows As I hear the lonesome cry of a howling wolf or hurting bird I dart quickly another look again to my ancestral and cold coffin My fateful resting place is one more time again safe No friend nor foe to release me to free me tonight from my woes And from all of my black and torturous betraying thoughts I, Barnabas Collins, I stand here in all this darkness alone As I close my weary eyes for another moment and rolling time Then again I hear the wind moaning and hear the wind weeping The dogs are howling and my wounded heart abates in the wind They're my only companions in my endless and perpectual sorrow. Dorian Petersen Potter aka ladydp2000 copyright@2010 July 22, 2010


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Go

Let Me Go!
I don't want this anymore!
I can't go to sleep at night,
all I seem to do is write.

Sometimes I read...
I read until I finish.
When I finally go to sleep,
I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Oh gosh,
I can't handle this anymore.
I am going crazy here
and no one seems to notice it, my dear.

I cry myself to sleep.
telling myself everything will get better.
BUT IT DOESN'T!
And I know I mustn't

but I want that knife
just as much as I want that gun
I hate this world
and everything about this girl

She sings and tries to get attention
yet no one gives her the time of day.
She falls into the books she reads
no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads.

This girl is me,
oh but you knew, right?
Since all I ever talk about is me!
Gosh, can't you see?

I'm my enemy!
I'm my own nightmare!
No one is hurting me!
It is me who shouldn't be let free!

Lock me up! 
Kill me!
That way I won't harm myself...
I'd like it if it was someone else

Please, do me the favor
and let me go
for no one can save this girl
from this cruel world.


Details | Ballade | |

Cave dweller

Cave Dweller.

Once there lived a little man
A dwarf yet smaller still
Who lived within a little cave
All cold and darkness filled
He'd lived there such a long, long time
And knew he nothing more
That there was nothing better he was sure.

Then this maiden fair and beautiful
She ventured in his cave.
Her eyes were blue like crystal gems
For her most men would crave.
When the little man discovered her
With the candle in her hand
He saw a nymph so beautiful and grand

The maiden told that lonely man
About the beauty of the world
She spoke about the wings of a butterfly
All Gossamer unfurled
And she spoke of lush green meadows
And the flowers by and by
That lady spoke, her tone so very wise.

But that dwarf when she had finished
Sadly sighed and shook his head
For the thought of leaving his snug cage
Did feel his heart with dread
And he told that lady wistfully
That her fine land was not for he
For he was born to live this misery.

Socrares Dec 8 2003.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Ousted by None but the Night

===================
Ousted by None but the Night   
Arabic Poem by: Adnan Abu Andalus*
Translated by:
Inaam Al-Hashimi (Gold_n_silk)
===============

The dusty street is bare 
Darkness there and the horizon  
As if, the night was sprinkling fear
Nothing there
But a policeman followed like a ghost
A street cat  
A wailing ambulance 
All where time is open for running
 Endlessly

Who would stroll in the range of bullets?
To come back in the morrow like a spinning top
Without a head?
 
 Who would walk alone?
 And fly off with the meekness of the past
 In Baghdad’s night?

Who would believe that AlZawraa held her lungs 
And ousted the breath of her patrons?
And that “Abu Nawas” replaced  
His last glass of wine
With a cup of black coffee?

Shahriar uttered it 
To protest shampoo ads!
Scheherazade wore the veil 
Bad boys of the night 
Shunned flirting with girls
In the Girls Street.
______
Translated December, 2012
 By: Em. Prof. Inam Al-Hashimi
USA
* Adnan Abu Andalus is a poet from Iraq
from his poetry collection  “The Smell of Doomsday”

________________________________________
 1 Knowing some of the history of ancient Baghdad may be helpful in facilitating better understanding of the poem. Baghdad was famous as the center place of the “Arabian nights” or the "Thousand and One Nights Tales" where Scheherazade, night after night, told the king Shahryar a different tale of romance and adventure to keep him from killing her in the morning.. Ancient Baghdad, nicknamed "AlZawra’a", was known for receiving, with open arms. night-patrons in joy and without fear. The poem refers to the glamorous past of Baghdad in comparison with the grim and gloomy nights of modern Baghdad after the war. In doing so, the poem mentions some symbols of the past and historical figures from old Baghdad and the Golden Age of the caliph Haroun al-Rashid (died 809 AD), and presents them in images contrary to their characters. Such figures include the licentious poet “Abu Nuwas" who wouldn’t recite poetry without being drunk. And the afore mentioned Scheherazade and Shahryar.
 ___________________________________


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Rhyme | |

The Prayer

How quick in sun's furnace falls
Faith like a withered leaf!
How sad dead friendship recalls
The songs that balmed our grief!

When then we shared belief before
You my fealty to truth adore
Your response was praise, naught more
In the surge of truth upon the shore

how pious you became when I prayed
How reverent while the candle flamed
Nothing in me made love dismayed
Every echo of the prophet you framed

And did you say the answers were sure
Signs that God favored our belief
Nor then trusted you another cure
To scale the battlements and bring relief

And for what now do you revile and hate
Nor question the demons that arose
To imprison your heart in their dark fate
What Christ would so your flaws expose?

I pray still, the ultimate prayer now
That God will bring you back again
That self will surrender to yield the vow
Like shattered glass that serves the pain

I pray for you, and I pray more for me
That by understanding patience endures
Does not the serpent hunts human frailty
Those who sip must pray grace restores?

The cup, the cup, I resnt it, polished new
Abomination scuttles innocense, then invent
The wickedness that others do; what's true
Is that I unsubmitted stir demons to discontent

I pray not for them, but for you, faith gone so soon
Figment and self brings joy to dark despair
Water changes to blood in a frightening moon
I believe grace still holds amidst tides of fear

How quick in sun's furnace falls
Faith like a withered leaf!
How sad dead friendship recalls
The sad destruction of belief.


Details | Free verse | |

An Agnostic Acrostic

 "this poem is not about what is written,but what is not written. . . " 
Greyer looms matter's of the.....? 					 
Beauty fades not there then.....?				          
Flowers live and die fact of ....?					    
A four letter word of endearment....?					    
A saddened stare like where the Red Fern.....? 				    
Do not withdraw from the sunlight given by the almighty...?                                       
The feeling active of letters four much like adores.....?                                              
Speaking in second person sounds like and is...?      			   
In the prelude I allude to this message to point to the truth 		                
You cannot see air but it is there so beware   			                
You do not have to walk into the total darkness  				   
to see how dark the blackness is                      				 
Like gravity that holds you there how much more our Creator cares 	             
Setting on shelf scoffing at the pain you do not see      		                
The love that is and can be He just wants to set you free                                      
ignorance of the law does not excuse
How deep the pain how dark is that blue                                                                   
without Hope without God waiting to play the odds                                              
Without knowledge must be total misery                                                                      
as earthly beauty fades as the tree                                                                              
a dieing thing without fruit                                                                                           
the growing sorrow does that suit                                                                              
without hope of new life tomorrow                                                                             
Here today and gone so to borrow                                                                               
Not opening a door can be as bad as slamming it in your face                                   
to see where true beauty is you run in place not seeing the grace                        
turn to the light dwelling in the dusk from the womb to dust                                    
on your pedestal under your own glass                                                                        
the fire that was given you smother to ash  - john edaward beam - for The 
Unwritten contest - 07/01/2011


Details | Concrete | |

She Never Hears

Through pain,
Through sorrow,
Through a lonely nights tears.

No warmth,
No love,
Only cold lifeless fear.

The locking
Of a door,
Sends your heart on a deep plummet.

In the darkness,
In the room,
Your anger summits.

Somewhere not far,
She plays a computer game,
Ignoring your screams of her name.

For in this horror,
In this nightmear,
You know it will always be the same.

She never hears anything.


Details | Ballad | |

Deirdre

 
Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? I can sence her embrace that feels like Tragedy A heart to have, slipped beneath the waves The dark pulse now beckons us closer How many days will this passion bleed away? We will be the ones left to blame Beware we’ve become their prey They say you’re addicted to your pain A lifeless cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper too close to the edge A call from the dark Brings out a saving spark An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? “My Decadence was just for you Though you’d never care what I’ve been through Enter the world were empathy is clandestine A world created by you, just for me What’s Lying in my heart is why You want to through the stone” I call your name towards nightfall’s reign But they take you so far away A dark angel so divine Cursed by Eden’s heart I will avenge every tear An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone?


Details | Sonnet | |

Animal Trap

Sheets of rain, lit up sky, flapping wind,
relieve my angry atmosphere.

She smiled twice and all was clear.
Once for no reason, and once more,
to ensure it was over for sure.

The weight of my sadness, that
heaving load behind me, reminding me,
making me cautious, awkward and
anxious.  Caught in an animal trap.

I cut off my nose to save my face.
And ran for the nearest hiding place,
to vanish and bleed without a trace.

I am haunted now, searching for peace
condemned to go on, casket of unease.


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Letter to bereaved ones

         I beg your forgiveness for I am not long for this world. Happenstance has led me down this path so crooked and forlorn. Misery has preceded my path and darkened my senses all but torn. Mistakes have illuminated my way though their light be a fallacy; an illusion to comfort a tortured mind, riddled with confusion and false fancy. ‘Tis only just to forgive me sisters, I am not long for this world. 

          An image wreaks havoc with my memory. A picture so horrendous the effects of its trauma echo through the hallways of time. The sight that for all my life I was so grateful to possess, leads me now to curse what gods may be that granted it me. For surely had I never seen the sight of him, cold and lifeless, I would have eventually endeavoured to be healed in my spirit. The fault is mine; it was never him but I that had the capacity to change. ‘Tis only right to forgive me father, I am not long for this world. 

       My middle name should rather have been disappointment. That is all I have ever delivered to her who brought me into the world and nurtured an infant into a lady. I call her Gaia, that is her spirit name.  My existence has put lines on her face prematurely and caused her to despair time and time again. The audacity of me now to leave this earth without ever having produced for her a grandchild. The insolence of leaving only words to counter the preponderance of condolences from rejoicing enemies that shall now assail and abuse her. My soul is repentant, twas never the intent to hurt your heart dear Gaia. ; Tis only compassionate to forgive me mother, I am not long for this world. 

       As for the empty future that awaits me. No children to carry on the memory of me. No great achievements to render my life the content of legend. No great works to immortalise me in poem and prose. No others to mourn the passing of a life most unremarkable. Nothing but things, regrettable decisions, words left unsaid and the cold sound of silence to mark that most auspicious event. Death finds me waiting and unafraid with only the last words to pass from these lips; ‘tis only fair to forgive me self, for we are not long for this world.


Details | Rhyme | |

If I die before I wake

As I die he will be with me,
I fell in love he had the key,
And always knelt on one knee.

My last thoughts are of him, 
As the lights go dim,
Life circling on a rim.

All at once we are apart,
The taste is so tart,
It all hits me in the heart.

You are left to live,
My heart your captive,
There is nothing to forgive.

My cheeks blush so shy,
With a tear in my eye,
As I start to die.

Fear not for I am well,
As many up here can tell,
It is not quite hell.

As I look from above,
kissing the forehead of my love,
I wonder what he dreams of.

I look at him so fondly,
his lips curve so grandly,
as he sleeps so soundly.

I'm like a hummingbird fluttering over his bed,
I wish to be with him but I am dead,
My life over and has fled.

I fear for my love for he is kind,
Strong handsome and well lined,
But now I leave him way behind.

Finding love is like a quiz,
Never knowing what it is,
He needs love from a heart as strong as his.


Details | Lyric | |

Thank you

Thank you for a good lesson,
For the times when you left me alone,
For all my sleepless nights in your house,
For the love that wasn't true,
For the smiles that never warmed me up,
For the looks that never made me stay,
For the realizing that there was nothing
To fight for.

Thank you for your promises that
You have broken in time,
For the words that were ugly,
For the comments that did hurt,
For your screamings, putting me
To work for never saying me
This simple “Thank you!”
Because I thank you.


Details | Lyric | |

End It

End It
By: IzaDonna

My demons crouch real low
Seeping out of me real slow
The pain protectively covered
Darkening memories like no other
But I hide behind a smile
This life not seeming worth while
The blade I have is ready to go
Life already being at an all time low
So bring on the darkness
i no longer have a purpose

Chorus
I push you away to protect you
My sickness n pain being nothing new
So save yourself from my sorrow
Cause I won't live to see tomorrow
You deserve someone better
So let me be and go find her

Loneliness is my own choice
Feeling so lost with no voice
So I let each day slip by
Everyday just wanting to die
What have I become
Where did all this pain come from
Being left alone is my desire
The spark going out in my fire
My days I feel are at an end
Too far gone to possibly mend

Chorus

So bring on the darkness
I've lost my purpose


Details | Verse | |

I blame me

I blame me for all my mistakes
I blame me for all the rejection and heartache
I blame me for all the times I stayed silent 
and should have started and earthquake
with my words
I should have spoken up when I had the chance
now all those thoughts are wasted
unspoken, unheard

I blame me when my husband touches me 
and I feel the hands of a predators pounce
And I blame me when the pressure it on
because all I had to do was shout out and renounce His name
Lord, help me to get rid of the shame

I blame me for my loneliness
I blame me for my feelings of lust
I blame me when I look at myself and see absolute disgust
I blame me when I shut down - unsure of who to trust
At times not even sure if I really know how to love

I blame me when my kids are crying out sick
because when I brought them here
I knew that this world was unfit
Yet overpowered by my love for them 
I became more and more protective
So I blame myself in advance for their sadness
when they finally see that the world is not objective

I blame me for those nights I can't rest
Wondering if my consciousness has finally realized
that I have done my best
to stay positive and have good intentions
So I blame myself when I give in to temptations and my human inhibitions
and begin to feel ashamed of myself
I begin to feel like I don't have enough strength to love myself
because
good things don't happen for me
So I blame me for my thinking and feelings of worthlessness

It's a big world and my lonely soul has no more confidence
I have nothing
I have given up 
and so I blame me for my incompetence and my soul's rut


Details | Blank verse | |

Today

The creative course of love runs through the veins
By God, it has enveloped my very life in faint luster
It is now an illusion I have mastered and made real
There will be no lies written on my depleting heart
For Doubt was there masked inside the vibrant ball
All told her it was to be a masquerade, and she fell
Yes! Doubt fell into an illusion of trust and feral light
She locked herself away for good that doleful night    
While all danced and were joyous in lore and drink
Doubt turned her head to the door of blissful night 
And she never looked back; not for a slight moment

Furtively their love grew as vines entwining sea green
Ballets flared inside menace and ghoulish, garish glee
Lonely larks will always sing as far as the eye can see
But Doubt in its dark sings beyond what is you or me
I am in love with her; she is life and something new
And I cringe to speak the truth; oh clandestine mind!   
Yes, it was I who had invited Doubt to the vibrant ball
And it was there, without notice, she fell in my arms
In an unforgiving, comatose faint—a revolutionary state
Her face to the door, bleeding black and nothing more
The last moment I stared into her bleak, pale features

Doubt's masquerade I had mastered had at last begun!
The crowd swelling all around me, all in dark costume
Oh, God knew it was only a guiltless, simple gathering
But here they remained—the DEMONS ever smothering
The faces were cruel and their camouflage unforgiving
Doubt had now left me writhing, splitting, crying—LIVING 
As crowds danced around my uncovered, sniveling face
The spineless love of my life gone now without a trace
There no drink to drown away the ever-placed sorrow
There no high hopes of inevitable, hopeful tomorrow
There is only today—and today I cruelly, drolly LOVE


Details | Free verse | |

Loss

Searing pain rips through my chest,
As I slip on the painted green stairs, 
Running from something I’m not sure
Too afraid to stop, to turn my head.

My heart races, my head throbbing,
If I could just take a deep breath,
To cleanse my soul and refresh,
Where is this dark building I’m in.

Lying in warmth I move my hand,
Red covers me, flowing down the steps,
A peaceful calm envelopes as I view
My Dad with open arms waiting for me.

He is standing now, out of his wheelchair,
Smiling with his crooked grin so sweet,
The pain ebbs and happiness grows
Then I wake again to the dark emptiness.



Written September 23, 2012
For Francine Robert’s contest
“In Dreams”



Details | Lyric | |

Why my heart ponder

Why my heart ponder?
I, your offender..
What I gave?
Dark love in a cave...

I promised you a thousand lands
Didn't give enough sands...
Changing me and my love,
Hiding behind the black scarf..

Hiding me I couldn't speak,
Feared losing in a streak.
This was my only reason
But turned my passing season..

Now I rattle,

As a foolish cattle
Leaving your land and cheese,
Yet to find me some peace...


Details | Rhyme | |

Hyde

I saw her sitting by herself in the periphery;
She missed someone I knew was better than me.
Two halves don’t make a whole,
But two is company,
And I’m fair with trigonometry.

I don’t care about your boyfriend in Germany.
I don’t care about all the baggage you brought over from Florida,
Your daddy issues,
Your paradoxical self-defeated self-importance,
How you’re yesterday’s big news.
Please, take off your coat, have a drink,
Slip into my ruse.

If we’re not so lucky, 
I’ll introduce you to the person I keep 
Battered down inside
Of me.
The side
That hides 
Beneath the wide-
Eyed mind
Of helplessly
Restless nights.

I had years of therapists telling me to dig into that 
God damned clamoring tantrum of self.
Of course, the only time I asked for help,
I got tenfold pitches for prescriptions;
I got a hospital bed.
And a broken-record of out-of-time doctors 
That said it was all in my head.

And I wished I was dead.

When I was four years old,
My mother took me with her when she did men for drugs.
Or left me in her apartment, screaming;
She said, "Nothing ever shuts up."

The magazine says
I should consider a new medication,
And busy work and meditation.

Sweet girl, you probably don’t care for hell;
So call to tell him that everything’s swell.
In the morning I promise not to dwell.

Note to self:

If you’re reading this,
Please treat yourself well.
And quit chasing nightmares 
That teach you about yourself.


Details | I do not know? | |

Good Morning, Apocalypse Now : A Tribute to a Vietnam Veteran

Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)

My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he 
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast 
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now. 

Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier. 

Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet. 
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid. 

He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil, 
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.

When he speaks a calm 
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and 
bravery and how 
he continually fights against 
the "Apocalypse Now".


Details | Free verse | |

Scars of an Inner Child

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
 Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love


Details | Rhyme | |

Broken Heart Warfare

So full of hurt
Heart Stomped in the dirt
But I'll get up
I'll brush off my skirt

Paste a smile on my face
Get back in the race

My fake laugh I'll embrace
While so alone in this place
I'll fake my sweet grace
Tie my hair up in lace

Hope no one will care 
To see past my fake stare
Because I can not bare
To explain my despair 

No I don't need your prayer
Nor your disapproving glare

My sadness will wear
Life's just so unfair
Breaking dear hearts
Like illegal warfare

While my insides repair
I'll just brush this long hair
Fake smile blank stare

Should pull me through
This broken heart warfare.

<3 Kaleelynn


Details | Haiku | |

Crash

Drunken crash,
Wee woo wee woo!
Body count of two.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Will Rise

I’m about to call it quits.
One more f*cking Moron  and I’ll be sick.
I let you walk all over me not once not twice….
I lost count. Now I’m labeled conspicuous
Because I attract all the d*cks.
wasn’t it you who said you’ll stick around through
Thick and thin?
Now when the tough get going you hide like a b*tch!
How many more “demons” do I have to wave through
Let me go. Set me free. I don’t wanna be apart of you and your evil.
I’m not asking to live like Mario and Peach.
But enough is enough I’m tired of the blows.
I bent over backwards to save your as*
And in the end you put me last.
Who were the one who carried you when you were “weak”
Broke bread with you so to speak.
I was your bank when you couldn’t stand on your own damn feet.
So I’m walking away with my head held high.
They will be no more cries.
No more tears run down these cheeks.
Get behind me mother f*cker.
You are beneath my cleats!
12/02/12


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Lyric | |

The Price

Shivering in silence
Fading in disgrace
I can not name this feeling
But I can recall this place

A kingdom in my nightmares
A vision as I wake
A broken, crying infant
On the throne of my mistakes

I stand outside his city
On the verge of stepping through
The portcullis then closes
Because I’ve denied the truth

Quietly I listen
For the price that must be paid
If I ever wish to enter
I must find something to trade

My sanity seems willing
So I release it into night
Again the vision’s singing
Burning through the light

This time I am crying
Deep within the walls
And in this empty kingdom
A child mourns within his walls

Shivering in silence
Sat upon my throne
With sanity now traded
I am left to fade alone


Details | Free verse | |

A Blue Boy's Death Wish

A fragile mind breaks 
Wake upon the rock laden shores
A muffled heart begs to echo
Whispers lost among a velvet chamber

Dusk comes premature time and again
Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise
If you never witness dawn
There is no tomorrow

Always the dreamer aches
Never awake to make real what he desires
The restless corpse walks blind
Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind

Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines
Love is the motive and the weapon
Taking root in throats dry from weeping
Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles
A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive
The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching
A plea for rest lands on deaf ears

The hollow boy tires of himself
The last request he will ever make
"End me"
Lost and tired
He wishes to be weak no more


Details | Lyric | |

Bruises

Bruises
By: IzaDonna

Surrounded by darkness
Emotions hidden away
Bruises disguised with smiles
Never would think it
That my past still haunts me
The scars still completely cover me
I hide them so you can't see
I'm really not at all okay

Chorus
The bottles eases the pain
The dust numbs the ache
Can I ever just forgive?
Instead up building up this hate
I just want to find peace
I want my smile to be real
But its hard to do so
When I can no longer seem to feel

Frightening dreams keep me awake
Forever replaying in my mind
Life seems to be so much longer
This winding road so much harder
Can I just get a release
Beat these inner demons and be free
Or do I have to be forever cursed
With the ghosts of the past

Chorus

I look up at the stars
And close my eyes tight
Its time for last good-byes
Its time to end this tonight
I take one last chug
And fall to the ground
Take one last gasp
And then no longer make a sound

Chorus

I'm finally okay


Details | I do not know? | |

You and I



You and I.


You.

Your heart blazed,
with a warmth of spirit,

soothing,

alluring,

soaked in truth.



Your smile burned,
branding me permanently,

gentle,

tender,

enveloping my being.



Your love was complete,
from the depths of your soul,

unsaid,

yet fierce,

bathed in silent knowing.



Your dreams were poetic,
fluttering in the afternoon breeze,
infused with the distilled essence of rhyme.


I.

I squandered your generosity of spirit.

I vainly discarded your priceless poems.


Now I stand,

alone,

empty,

desolate,

wasting away,

rotting inside, day by day.




Details | Narrative | |

too drunk, not drunk

When your with people you think you can trust

and you get a bit to drunk

and you thought you could trust him

after all your mom loved him

 

and you go to bed just afer 2

and mom went to bed just after 1

and he came in room just after 4

so you ask him for a pill...

He gets you the pill and you take it for your head

still drunk

     still drunk

and then you lay back down

still drunk

and then his hand snakes out

still drunk

and then his lips meet yours

still drunk

smell the beer

still drunk

and his hand slides under your gown

still drunk

and you just cant say no

too drunk

    too drunk

and his touches, soft but rough

not drunk

    not drunk

and he plays with your untuoched parts

not drunk

    not drunk

and you try to turn but you cant

not drunk

    not drunk

and you finnaly win and turn

not drunk

    not drunk

and he silently walks away

not drunk

    not drunk

and whispers to the dark room

are you drunk

    are you drunk

        are you drunk 

and you wish you could say that you were

so drunk

     so drunk

so you can turn, fall asleep, and forget

not drunk

    not drunk

and you know in deep and dark thoughts...

your not drunk

      your not drunk

             your not drunk


Details | Free verse | |

Vertical Lines

Don't forget to cross the Ts
and dot your Is
because if you don't do that
they're just lines vertical on a page.
Lets us forget about the imperfect words
that make us cry
the vertical lines,
like jail bars hold us back.
Stand up and out and roar like a lion!

she is mine, I love her,
but I am quiet,
held back by the vertical lines
the black oily jail bars,
that keep my hear caged in
everytime I cry and people don't listen
the guard taps his nightstick upon
the vertical bars,
the imperfect feelings of pain and sadness
feeling like this it bores me 
feeling like this makes me sick
and I feel myself wanting to vomit
and shake the nervous feeling
of falling into a dark hole,
so I sit behind these vertical lines,
like cocaine lines, ready to snort up your nose,
like cigarettes lined in a perfect and neat row,
like empty wine and beer bottles
littering around my feet.

The vertical lines take me away from reality,
close my already blinded eyes
with a black blindfold.
These jail bars cross my soul,
chain my the ankles and wrists,
and choking me, holding my head under water,
I can't breath!!! Help me!
These vertical bars hold me back in life,
hold my emotions from coming out,
to tell you how I feel for you!
I no more want vertical lines,
I want to be free.
Drive horizontal roads that wined and turn around beautiful mountains
too take a deep breathe and share the beauty
to watch the horizontal horizon.
Too sit on a beach shore and write till the sun goes down
and the mermaids sings cheerful tunes
that uplift my spirits and break the remaining vertical lines
that bind and hold my heart in place.

There is nothing beautiful in a straight line,
let alone a vertical one.
Horizontal, vertical all bad in their own ways,
always trapping us, like jail bars or barbwire that streches across the open lands.
Love has no lines,
no boundaries,
so why should I have lines that bind me together
holding my head underwater,
till a spark lights a powder keg and blows me sky high
and I finally set myself free
and roam the horizon for ever.


Details | Free verse | |

Songs of Sorrowed Hearts

What makes this world go around?
What makes Death walk the Earth
and God sit on his throne and watch over us?
What makes love go around with such favour
and strut along side lonesome avenues?
What does a widow, a motherless child, a Vietnam veteran
and a boy who has had his fare share of heartbreaks,
all have in common with each other?

They were all promised a beautiful life,
free for all to love, free from the pain of betrayal
and anger.
We are what make the world go around,
I am the poet who sits and looks at love walk down the street,
and watch the blind eyes stare deep in my soul.
I am the poet, that feels the pain of a heart torn in two.
He his the poet who writes of smiles, to forget the frowns
and tears.
She is the poetress that writes of her success,
in order to forget her past that tortured her soul,
now he and she walk together writing poetry
sharing their love and smiles with the world.
But with smiles, also comes frowns,
with hearts full of love, comes hearts full of sorrow,
and someone has to stay behind and write of the bad
has to write and compose the songs of the sorrowed hearts.

We are all given love,
but it takes some whole lives to understand
the dark mystery that tags along with beautiful love.
Someone has to suffer the pain,
someone has to sacrifice his or her happiness,
so another poet can feel the beauty in happiness and pain.
I am willing to sacrifice my time and heart,
for my fellow poet to feel the smiles grow on their faces
and feel love uplift their heart,
while the black cancer tears apart mine.
I will go on, with what is left of my heart and smile,
and go into my room of creativity
and compose the songs of sorrowed hearts
for future poets, like that came before me.


Details | Rhyme | |

All I See

They say there's a light,
But all I see is the night.


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 3-

My eyes
Witness your departure
My eyes
Are dripping with hopelessness…
My eyes start to blur…
Melancholy put me under pressure…
Is there a cure to my disease? 

You don’t see
The shards of hope that once brought us back together
Just let me search for safety
I’m strong enough to realize that I’m no longer
The weakest prey out there…

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me whimpering like a distraught puppy left on the train tracks?

I’m close to my demise…save me and take me home

Nourish me…and be my beloved friend

Will this friendship last forever?

Hopefully it has no end

Will this cheerful moment help us get along with each other?

Because of you…I feel the need to run 
I keep an eye on you – I worry that you’ll hurt yourself again
Because of you…My freedom is nearly gone
I don’t wanna be caught off guard again
Because of you…EYE can’t picture a solution for our vexing dilemma 
Because of you…eye can’t focus on my long-term goal 

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you sense that I’m giving in to failure? 
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…I can’t endure 
The hardships that you place upon me…
Could you boost up my confidence to overcome 
My atrocious anxiety? 

I’m just waiting for some sun
To keep me in good hands…
To strengthen me with perseverance …
I’m just waiting until His son
Leads the world outtah Egypt and reveals to us…
His radiance…His dazzling Kingdom – 
Vibrant with glee

Your undying sympathy dawns upon us
I’m overflowing with indescribable joy  
You’re a candle in the night…
We meet eye to eye…
What a sight…what a precious sight


Details | Lyric | |

Don't Give Up On Me When I'm Out

I set my eyes to this future of thine,
And I’ve always seen that one day it would be mine,
But all that it is running into a wall cryin’,
And all for lust, lying in suicide, dyin’,

And right here, right now, I have it all,
You’d never roll the dice, and see it cast me to fall,
But it was a destined run, I’ve always needed to crawl,
Into my own dark lair,
With all this smoke that just stares,
And the pipes that don’t break,
Injecting all I can take,
Infecting myself with hate,
And never really seeing everything I had at stake.

I’m laying there lifeless looking into your eyes,
And telling you I trust you, even through all the lies.
I’ve been alone for so long, but now I have you.
I’ll share with you my deepest secrets, and never adieu.
You look so friendly, but I’m filled with fear,
I think I’m paralyzed, dying, because I’m stuck right here.
Would you please check my pulse, and make sure I’m alright,
Because I love you, and I can’t die here tonight.
And then I realize you were just smoke, and I shed a tear,
Because you were my only friend, but you were never really here.
And now I know I’m going mad, and having delusions,
“I can’t breathe,” “I’m going to die,” are my only conclusions.

And right here, right now, I have it all,
You’d never roll the dice, and see it cast me to fall,
But it was a destined run, I’ve always needed to crawl,
Into my own dark lair,
With all this smoke that just stares,
And the pipes that don’t break,
Injecting all I can take,
Infecting myself with hate,
And never really seeing everything I had at stake.
But for Heavens’ sake,
Please, don’t give up on me,

People cared at one point, but that’s come and passed,
And since then, I’ve gone farther and farther into this crash,
But right now, I only care, because I’ve run out,
Tomorrow, I’ll have more, and nothing to b***h about.

But I’m not dead yet, and I wish I could stop,
But I want to keep going ‘til I die or get caught,
There’s nothing to live for, so why should I care,
That everything’s dark, and I can’t feel the air,
And there’s wetness running down my chest,
And I’m convulsing, reaching for somebody’s vest.
That’s all I remember of that dark lair,
But then, I awoke in the government’s care,
Still, no family, friends, or dealers who care.
Still couldn't learn my lesson there.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

All because of you

Sad lonely, in despair,
Credit you are due.
I'm alone without you here,
I am so sad and blue 
I cried and cried,
But you didn't care,
I wont soon forget,
How you made me feel,
And what you put me through,
It wasn't even fair.
And I'll never love again;
I owe it all to you.


Details | Free verse | |

breathe, suffocate


velvet tears slip down my cheek.

a gentle cry.

and the wet drops seep in the corners of my mouth

until

my lungs are full of my own salty, crystalline tears,

bringing buoyancy to boats that sail inside my veins.

as a rule, I try not to cry.

if a single tear is shed, who is to say that another will not follow?

compelling the rest to join

until I’ve immersed myself in the sea I’ve incepted,

and soon

all I see are the opalescent peaks of water colliding with my skin.


Details | Free verse | |

Hero of War

With my men holding our flag high,
we storm a school and hold the children
captive, handling them like enemy soldiers
they are not, as they cry and scream, some
probably living with trauma for the rest of their lives

“I am a hero of war!’’ Is that what my countrymen think of me?

As smoke of explosions and burning cities fills the air,
we indiscriminately shoot on whoever is coming close
to us, in the end realizing that we have shot mostly
innocent civilians who have nothing to do with the war,
after the smoke has partially cleared out in the air

As I cautiously walk ahead to ensure that all the enemy soldiers are dead, my boots feel a bump; a hand of a woman holding a white flag for peace, as white as snow, with her clothes drenched in blood

“I am a hero of war!” Is that what my countrymen think of me?

Before the sun sets, my men and I sit around
a bonfire and plan our next move and next
attack on the enemy, without realizing that
the enemy is war, brought about by hatred
by people who we call leaders

“I am a hero of war!” Is that what my countrymen think
of me?


Name: Teddy Kimathi


Contest Name: The Poet III


Details | Free verse | |

Impending Night

The impending night has fallen upon us
It woke with much persistence
Our hearts fled from its rage like a doe from a rifle
But the blast had already been made. . .

People fall like rain
The clouds are crestfallen with grief
And the darkness has no mercy 
Rain soaks...leaves an impact
The falls are devastating...

She was so strong, like a diamond she shined
Only to burn away and be one with the grime
I never saw her go
But the angry darkness of her essence—strangely glows...

He choked on his words, his memory
Like a child swallowing a pill
It is sticking in our throats
Against our will
And the dose ever grows. . . 
 
Who will stop the night?
You wicked thing how achingly stormy you have become!
Rich in your light as it smothers you whole
Leaving the rest to the droll sound of its toll

She burned
As they watched in angry happiness
The smoke of her spirits filling our hearts
No expressions...heavy depressions 
He was left to melt and rebuild

His wick ignites—burns are second nature
Though images are hard to swallow
She still talks to our souls
Her story still to be told
Like diamonds never found

A flame of hope hovers
We remain instilled in the rot
The darkness smothers
Its heavy slumber always waking


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Emotional Hole

I did not find myself to be so important
So I ask my friends do I seem distant?
When I ask the question I had received an answer, Yes
So I think that made it clear that I had been not the best
I am a friend of a friend that talks so many things
That friend talks to much it is insane and insanity it brings
I do care, about my friends they are all good people
They tend to stand on their high steeple 
Today I find myself not so aware
Disbanding my fear of regret and care
Walking many different paths I see that I have found holes
It is the path that people choose to use to fuel their rage with coals
Coals are partially burnt wood or fossils a piece of fuel
It is the source of burden and fire a rage of emotions that stands cruel
It can be warm and caring, but it also can be baring
I just start to feel so low, below the ground I keep on staring
I reach for my friends so many times I feel so ignorant at times
Just once I feel I should not rely on them when feeling I can not find 
I dig my hole deeper and I can not climb out
For some reason I am just full of doubt
I care about so many things and what I have is confusion
One person should be all I should think about to get out of that illusion
My battle in my heart and mind is not at all so pleasant
I feel so alone in an island that is shaped like a crescent
My emotions is like coinciding with a diameter of the semicircle
Not a full emotion that is complete like a circle
My feelings is circular full of incomplete thoughts, so much deeper
I feel it will wake up my evil half a evil soul that is a sleeper
What question should I ask myself? to believe that I am not so alone
As I feel like a person who is deteriorating to the bone
I ask my friends the same question once again
I figure I should do it, to know what kind of feelings I should end
So many thoughts that come out of my feeling
I feel like my friends take, an emotional trauma of stealing
They ask me questions and I answer theirs
But when I need mine answered I feel burning inside like a flare
Are they even friends when they do not take me serious in anyway
Just put me in my hole cause I feel nothing in their will be getting in my way
It's just so simple to answer someones problem
I answer friends with beauty of a rose, but when they answer mine I get the stem
I know the stem is very important in life, with out it how can a rose be a rose
With a hole to put the root and stem in how can it grow
The words we speak I guess is like all natural things we reap and sow


Details | Haiku | |

Guillotine of Clouds

Who you know was claimed
By the guillotine of clouds
When the neck touched dirt


Details | Verse | |

You are ugly too

Talk behind my back,
Discuss my weakness,
Prove them all that
I'm the worst but
I'm still standing.
I don't mind what
You say to them.

Tell them the secrets that
I shared with you being trapped
Within naivety.
But I'm so glad I did.
I destroyed my weakness,
Transformed myself for now,
Became indifferent.

Keep being dishonest
When you talk to them,
Represent your lies that
You prepared.

I know how good it feels.
You know I'm not denying
Because you are ugly too.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pockets of Misery

I stuff my pockets with misery and contempt,
overloading their contents, pleasure exempt.
I fill the dark spaces with sadness and dread,
overexerting the capacity, till all hope is dead.

I shove bits of hatred, and pieces of despair,
into tightly bound pockets, I callously wear.
I force fists of fury, into perfect folds of misery,
massive bulging indignation, that only I can see.

I line its gruesome insides, with terror and pain,
thrusting handfuls of vanity with bouts of shame.
I lunge towards its innards, like a thrusting rocket;
these dark grisly holes, inside miserable pockets.


Details | Romanticism | |

April to April

Last April, for me, had dull and dark days
God will bless, had said, the Hopeful May

Than came June with a shower of love
Happy was July as, I found my beloved

August we planned for bells to ring 
December the fifth, for the vows to sing

From shop to shop went sweet September 
Flowers and star to adorn the December 

Waiting and longing for my lover
Please skip the year, Oh Dear October

The naughty November, bought me a surprise
And you left me alone, breaking all ties

With broken dreams came dear December 
Memories of past hitting like a hammer 

New hope I will get, to me, said January 
Leave the past behind and do not worry

February came and then came March
Your love in my heart, still like fire, a parch 

Looking at my life with a blank gaze,     
April, for me, has dull and dark days.




Tuesday April 15, 2008


Details | Rhyme | |

The Breakdown

Kill me now,
no one needs to know how.
They don't care anyways,
let me waste away.

I'm so alone,
I'm always on my own.
I was happy one minute,
now I want to cut.

I'm trying to stay strong,
but it's been too long.
I'm giving up,
since no one is helping me up.

I'm falling down,
and there's no one around 
to keep me sane,
so all I want is pain.


Details | I do not know? | |

-Where's Daddy-

-"Where's Daddy?"-   


"Mommy, where's daddy?", 
her young son asked one day. 
She replied, "He's gone, he 
has traveled far away. 
He is protecting our home 
from unknown dangers, 
and fending off all of 
those evil strangers."   

"Is he killing them?" whispered 
her timid son. 
"Unfortunately so dear, 
but not for any fun".
"Will he be home for mothers 
day dinner tomorrow night?" 
She hesitated, "He might be, 
he just might.............."   

She surrendered to silence 
and succumbed to tears, 
as she suddenly was endowed 
with her inner most fears. 
She dropped, screaming, 
to the wooden floor. 
As a uniformed silhouette, 
approached their front door...   

-Anonymously youRs-


Details | Free verse | |

Am I Still Forgiven

I did it again; I need forgiven.
Will He still forgive me even though I've fallen before?
I've fallen into these same sins countless times before;
I still haven't learned my lesson.
I am an ignorant hypocrite.
Am I still forgiven?


Details | I do not know? | |

Door Mat

You keep leaving 
And coming back
Like I’m your vacation spot.
Although I say I’m through
I’m through
I’m still missing you.
No friends or companions 
You’re all I got
But I’m treated
Like the dust under the key
That’s under the doormat.
05/06/08


Details | Free verse | |

Just one of many things

Catching me out and truly unexpected
Flashbacks that only bring tears to mind
Children so powerless, no happiness to see
Left in the darkness to fear night and sleep

Nowhere to run, no one to care for them
Cold blooded man with no heart or love
Chillies for breakfast more punishment for tea
Strappings and cruelty, their harsh reality 

Forced to watch and too scared to cry
Strength inside but fear in our eyes, 
Never show weakness, take it on the chin
Secretly hoping he pays for his sins

So much fear, sadness and guilt
Fear of not standing up to his build
Sadness for the horrible things indured
Guilt I wear for not making this stop

Life has many challenges, we all know
I should have dealt with mine years ago
Instead I just pushed it so far below
Locked deep out of sight, out of mind

Letting this all impact on my life 
Feelings subtle in the background
Slowly eating at my heart and soul
Preventing me from being whole

So this is a new promise to myself
Finally remove it all from the shelf
No more will it comfortably be dormant
Day by day I will sweep it all out


This is a journey....'A Road about to be driven' 


Details | Verse | |

Crying out

Crying out loud,
Crying for no reason,
A girl without future,
A girl stuck in the prison.

Where dreams are coming out?
When they take her dreams away?
A girl without future,
A girl without desire.

How many things are missed?
How many words are left unsaid?
A girl is crying out,
A girl stuck in the world.

Where is an explanation?
Where is a hero?
Is it fine now when
Girls within are still believers
But outside they hate
Every detail and season
Hidden in the eyes of men?


Details | Senryu | |

12-21-12

The end of the world — 
I will see you all in hell.
May I rest in peace.


Details | I do not know? | |

Why me

Why me
Why me dear god 
Why the hell me!
I did all you asked 
I’ve even played the card 
Of a good girl, the one 
Everyone wanted me to be.
Why can’t you save me.
I’m hurting immensely 
And no one care not even slightly.
How could you allow me to fall 
So deep, so far into misery.
I’ve grown to hate myself so much so
I’m that demon within the angel 
That you see.
I’m crying out for help
And not once did you show me sympathy.
Like everyone else you pretend to care
My prayers are just words you refuse to here.
You watched the tears ran down my cheeks
And didn’t send an angel to watch over me.
I don’t want to be part of this world anymore
Just set me free….
Sleeping forever is where I are to be.

05/05/09


Details | Narrative | |

Jack, Johnny, and Me (Repost)

So sad are days in this bitterness
and bitterest cold outside
Gone are friends and leaves 
and grass.
The walls are mocking me, laughing
I can feel me hating me with a passion
This is one of those dark days
I see them at play
The demons who play hell
Casting doubts and leaving
agony in the wake of sunrise
Until this day and I rest again
We will bear it like shackles
dragging loud chains
I will listen to music that worsens it.
I'll drink to the pain, as Im numbing it
Jack Daniels is no friend of mine
  just a confidant in the worst of times
There is no solace in this bottle
Only places to run and hide.
So today I hid from shadows and the sunshine
not letting one loom behind me
        or the other sting my eyes
Contemplating and making sad compilations
mixing and blurring memories
blend them into one absolute emotion
I'll wallow in this today
Looking at a distorted reflection
  it stares back from a whiskey meniscus
Johhny Cash murmured in the background
 smoke wafts through, plumes like lengthy
ghost fingers
  The sun will set on a day like this
It will creep back beyond the waterline
lighting clouds in surrealistic colors
Closure, comfort, and serenity seep in
This was one of those dark days
I grabbed it by the neck 
and conquered it
Jack, Johnny, and Me...


Details | ABC | |

im soo sad

im so sad 
i dont know what to do why is life so sad n dark
i hide in the dark 
i like being in the dark 
the pain of losing people 
the pain of losing my family to my step mom she just took every thing away
i like darkness i feel pain 
i hide my feeling 
i feel like im on the edge of being gone 4 ever 
i dont talk to any one i rather stay in my room in the dark 
i want to cry every day i want to disaper 
the darkness is taking over me 
its taking me to a deep dark place i dont want to be


Details | Rhyme | |

Hold On To You

Why am I so selfish?
Why do I live for the wrong things?
I am dying inside
Because I refuse to see the light.
I need to say yes,
But I still haven't learned that yet.
I am a fool,
And I am hurting you.
If I would let go of myself,
I would hold on to you.


Details | Haiku | |

My Personal Emo Poem

Cut my veins, 
End this pain,
God knows I won't be missed, 
Whoever that is.
I live by Shang-ri-la,
Juggalos and Lettes for all.
I'm down with the clown,
Till I'm dead in the ground.
Nothing can hold me back,
I can't be tamed.
You don't understand me,
So just let me be.
I wanna be free,
So why can't you just see?
See that I wanna be gone,
I'm crying till I'm soaked to the bone.
I'm crying inside,
Noone can see it.
I'm bleeding on the outside, 
And crying in the inside.
Cut my veins,
End this pain.
Always~N~Forever,
Briana Lynn Minard
Age:15
03-31-11


Details | Free verse | |

The Caged Bird

Four white walls
and a bird,
trapped in steel cage
not free, not happy.
The walls they laugh,
closing in, holding
the bird hostage.
No windows,
no doors,
just four white walls
closing in,
on the caged bird.

I hear crying,
tears of sorrow,
so sweet, yet so sour.
It is the bird
trapped in the rusted cage-
No, just my soul
crying out,
for a warm embrace.

11-10-2013


Details | Free verse | |

The Downward Spiral

On the edge,
Leaning towards the deep end;
The dark waters with their mystery...
Seem to beckon you and your misery,
Talking like its cold embrace will warm you,
It's asking for your life and to guide you.

Leaning forward into the abyss
The wind whipping past your ears seem to hiss
As you fly and you soar
For time that makes you wish you had more
Though the feeling cannot last,
If you keep thinking of what people said in the past.

The water boils from your unleashed rage
Only stirring the whirlwind of pain and hate
You claw at the blackness surrounding you.
This tormenting fury you cannot bear
You wish to scream in your anger, 
Yet your voice seems to just whimper
Drowned without air...
Then, you are over come with despair.

The lack of life in this moment makes you weep,
All you want to do is sleep,
But then you think.
What about the ones I will make weep?
Maybe it's not all that it seems,
Maybe someone is waiting just for me?
To wake them from their dreams
The nightmare that they cannot break free 
The one they are waiting in just for me?

You want it all to stop
You really want to quit
But you know there's person waiting for a hero
And this hero is you.

You must get out.
Out of this dream
To wake the one beckoning for you.

Say sorry to the black water
Flail in its grip,
Try to escape its unholy embrace.

Your breath escapes from your lungs
And your mind screams in pain.
But then the darkness evaporates.
Leaving you to start anew 
Like a phoenix rising from its own dark ashes.

Look at the world that you thought you knew.
Awake and breathe.
Arise from your room
With A new view on life.

Look in the mirror,
See what you want to be,
The glass then shatters
Setting you free.

Change the world, 
And all that it has hurt.
Do not let the one waiting for you down
Find him or her and turn their life around.

You won't let this world drown 
You won't let others follow their spiral to the ground
Because you've already been to the bottom
You know what it's like to hit the ground,
Then lose all you have had...
But now it's your chance to turn it all around
Carry them up that spiral with not a look down!
Help them rebuild their world again
And stay with them until the end
Now no one will fear the spiral again
Because they will always have a friend.


Details | Lyric | |

Old Friend

OLD FRIEND

Familiar friend, your simmering glow
I welcome you whole and heartedly know
When day is night and ebb is flow
I trust in you, our love will grow

When dawn is dusk, then sun is moon
Your welcome face, the dullness soon
Neither red nor blue, no rays of light
Just shades of gray my dreams tonight

No princess to rescue
No tales of lore
Just spiraling down
And spiraling more

No faces or places or loves I’ve known
I dream of nothing and nothing alone

Together we cry, forever we moan
The pain my companion, together we’ve grown
Morning looms my bliss shall end
I’ll miss my companion; I’ll miss my old friend


Details | Free verse | |

GROWING UP

On the empty floors I am watching the nights roll
flowing in other nights.
Nature's mirror has come to give birth and to destroy
the typhoons are embracing me, an unstoppable power
in my two arms.
Between logic and the holy the notions are lost
I am turning blue inside the sky's blue.
And I return again and again to repay the same sin
upon which my own blood has dropped
and with blood I try for centuries to pay.
My form is drawing circles
-what is your name?-my name is Human.
Can this mortality embrace the darkness?
Can my bare hands hold within them the air?
I was born for the renaissance of colours,
I threw green and yellow at the edge of the horizon,
I painted red the lost dreams of history
and I placed white on all the spots of the sky.
I was born to destroy and I dig pits everyday,
I bury inside them living truths and I cover them with shovel and water.
Be quiet! The seasons are sleeping...
With small knives I carve the corners of the world
until I find the bone to puncture it, deeper and deeper.
Our fears are breaks of the Universe
they are transfered from planet to planet,
they change orbit, while cleaving the clouds.
''Learn how to walk, learn how to talk, learn how to kiss, learn how to leave, learn how to love, learn how to kill"...
Hollow bodies at the mountains top are burning with the flames of redemption.
They carry the same rock everyday, everynight until they reach the end,
the end that doesn't exist.
They fill the glasses with water, the glasses that dont have bottom.
Don't ask me to change the world, you only gave me soil but you have forgotten the water
and with hands dry and dirty I collect time to repay you
for your graces, because there is light and there is darkness, because I stop in front of red and I walk in front of green.
But you don't know, you don't, that I find strenght everyday, since I opened my eyes,
I am preparing in silence and I am clentcing my teeth
because the time will come, when I will throw a big punch at this carton world,
I will tear it up in half and I will see what lies behind,
behind the lie.
Shaken off from my dirty morality
I will touch the sacred redemption
I will wake up from the dream,
I will embrace at last, for the first time, reality.


Details | Quatrain | |

Rain Day

grey sky day no chance of light
teardrop rain beats down 
thoughts now finally taking flight
smile that hides the frown.
 
melancholy dreary day
surrenders soon to dark
desperation here to stay  
leaves such a painful mark.


Details | Romanticism | |

Lives wasted with foolish dreams

Lives wasted with foolish dreams,
of love and kindness.
I hold no grudge, nor Envy.
But I say, Pish Posh!
Love in Life is gone
and nothing True comes of it.

For Love is gone... for Love is gone...
I do not mope, so do not judge me.
Do not portray me, as an envious man, who cannot fall... in Love.
For I've travelled through Hell and back.
And I've seen, what I've seen.
Horrific things, and Devilish, and damnation temptation,
that swallows my soul in Godly ridden fire balls.
Once you've seen, what I have seen
you'd feel the same as me.

See me now walk, through the shadows
of wanting relationships and kisses on park benches,
that mock me... and I slowly die.
I want that! I WANT THAT!!!
I shall shout from the rooftops,
of the evening skylines of purplish and orange skies,
Oh, how I desperately want that...
But I hold no grudge, nor am I Envious
of my fellow brother in Love.
I go to him, hold his hand and congradulate him,
on his beautiful Maiden.

... Then I shall turn my cheek,
and walk the path of lone riders.
Starving to be Loved...


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Mirror

[echoes from a dark past]

When I was born Nobody came into the world.
When I looked into the mirror Nobody looked back.
When I was ten Nobody played with me.
When I left at fifteen Nobody said goobye.
When I came home hurt Nobody said hello.
When I looked in the mirror Nobody looked back.
When I was 23 I saw a man and a woman.
Who was she, so strong to make Nobody stay away.
When I was 24 I saw a child and Nobody stayed away.
When I was 29 another child and Nobody stayed away.
When I was 40 1 child was wed and Nobody stayed away.
When I was 50 I saw just the two and Nobody far away.
When I was 56 I saw the woman alone and Nobody by her side.
Now I look in the mirror and Nobody is there.
When I am gone Nobody will say I ever existed, save the woman.
Nobody was there at the beginning.
Nobody was there at the end. 
Nobody is her companion now.
Just as if I had never been.
Stupidity was the game I played, sadness my reward.
Nobody won all the games in my life.
Nobody has won again.

© Dave Timperley 2011




Details | Lyric | |

My heart is dead

You didn't listen to my heart
When it was whispering to you.
When it was screaming out,
You were indifferent and cold
Just like you never cared,
Just like you couldn't love.

A special drama
Sparkling day and night,
Now we are gon' drowning
Because my heart is dead.


Details | Free verse | |

The Black Abyss

Sinking in deeper,
No way to escape,
The dark and scary Reaper,
Fore told in the Book of Life.

Is this my end?
Will I ever see the light of day again?
No. My wounds, I must mend.
I must find my strength.

Stand my ground,
Face my fears.
Only then will my voice be found
I must survive.

Break the suffocating chains,
Run from the darkness.
Power will fill my veins.
I will Fight!

Fight the painful names,
The horrid memories,
The demented games 
And escape My Black Abyss.


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye, Farewell

Goodbye, farewell There is a time for everything But time for me has drawn its wings back away Leaving me to the sad hellos of today Do I wish to embellish in the sounds of your pain? Or will I take the back way into town to seek the reigns? Tension like ice crackles at the sound of departure Sometimes leaving it alone is harder I never expressed the selfish growths of my pride I am sickened in darkness, stuck in this mind Where is the heart when one needs the goodbye? Where is the mind when I break down and cry? Goodbye, farewell I never amounted to much Though I was granted everything My wings are folded too tightly with time The meat is tucked beneath and only I feed On the breadth of my own luscious nourishment Will I crush you with indifference? Silently beat you with fervent fury? Will I flood with tears of inward emotion? The sick selfishness one masks as devotion! Heat melts away the ice Replaced by tethered spite Goodbye, farewell! Before the night sweeps you away I never will cherish this today I will let the time dive into the abyss With the greetings and salutations one will never miss I will ride into the fiery skies with no care but my own Landing in turbulent waters in winds that moan There is a reason but it is unknown And that is how it will always be Can’t you see this is good for you? This is the only way—I fear for you Abandonment is only an emotion So, goodbye, farewell


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Myself

I cry myself awake
In the middle of the day
Because of a decision I made
Not to spend time with you.
And now everything I am
Is falling apart into pieces;
I feel like I am losing you
Because I am losing myself.


Details | Lyric | |

I Know -Poem about Depression-

I can see through you
I can tell your past was blue
And I hope you still don't feel the same
It's the silent killer to blame

I know you've had those days
Where it seemed that life was a maze
And it was so hard to talk to anyone
The attention they payed to you was none

I understand the pain you've felt
You wanted to tie your neck with a belt
They'd get angry when you'd vent
So then you were back in your depression tent

Nobody but you and me understand
But you and I have a plan
No more faking your smiles
And to a happy future, you'd go many miles

Trust me, it has an end
And it will end with a friend
And it will not end with a grave
Come on, you are brave

We'll beat this together
No matter how stormy the weather
And no matter how fast the winds will blow
I know.


Details | Narrative | |

Scars

.The survivors. Yes, that's what we call ourselves. We've lived through the terrors of life. 
Gentle hands, soft spoken, safe in his arms. Obey, and listen, and the swirling melody of 
love plays throughout the scene. And yet, this masquerade is always broken to reveal the 
truth. Words sharper than daggers explode around our ears. Bruises appear on our skin. 
We've "fallen", the clumsy females we are. We fell. A sports injury, a car crash, a freak 
accident. Freak accident of hatred. Much like the lion, quiet and stalking, and then exploding 
into a flurry of the hunt. Of the hurt. Swift blows, and blood drips from noses, tears stream 
from eyes in a silver river of desperate please, bruises decorate us in tawnys and majestic 
purples. Reminders of our "wrong doings". We need to pay for our sins. The only witness are 
the walls, and the moonbeams that dance about our dizzy heads. On the ground. Steel toes 
to the back. A crack. Fire. Pain. And then, a cool silence. The rage subsides, and apologies 
appear. "I'll never do it again" and "I lost control" replay in the back of our heads. Our deja-
vu from the previous night. Always the same. Always the pain. The survivors. Thats what we 
call ourselves. And by the dark dance of the moon against the velvet sky, as stars twinkle 
like sequins, and fade into the dawn, we pick ourselves up. New excuses. New plates to buy. 
A new alarm clock. New knives, doors, but no new hearts, stabbed until the hemmoragging 
hurts like a firestorm. Alone. We are alone. We, the Survivors, have lived not an apocalypse, 
not a plane crash, but the darkest part of our lives. Therapy can lock it away, but never 
remove the dark stain of dried blood upon our souls. Lost. We come together, and escape. 
We start anew, but are never the same. Dark dreams, paranoia haunting our shadows, and 
the jumps that come with shattered glass of the clink of dishes. Never the same, but 
stronger. What doesn't kill you is sure to leave a horrible scar, but wounds heal And while 
scars remain as a reminder of the pain endured, we are, for the better, stronger. We 
survived.

.


Details | ABC | |

Coward

People want to commit suicide,
people choose to die over livin life.
Why has it come to be this way?
Why has this life become so meaningless,
that we just want to throw it away?
We become selfish and think our life is so bad,
dont think of others who's lives are worse, But still greatful for what they have.
People take for granted the things they've got,
clothes, food, smokes and shoes, even a roof or a bed,
They dont think of the homeless,
the hungry, not even the cold or the hot.
They just think they want to be dead,
Things happen in our lives that, to us, seem bad.
We dont look for help or trust any "friends"
All because of the past we've had.
Dont be a coward and run away,
Stick it out, Live life,
I know that there's alot of strife,
But stick it through day to day.
People want to commit suicide,
people choose to die over livin life.
Why has it come to be this way?....


Details | Blank verse | |

Old Friend

The man looked at the other with a gripping smile.
The other man simply stared
A year long since they've seen their file.
Only recognized through what they cared
A time of respect was not called for
They simply said hello
They could've talked about when they were poor
But the day was cold and the feeling was hollow
They reached their riches
They succeeded throughout dark times
They ended up spoiling b******
For a simple thing can be turned to simple rhymes.
A day has gone by since their recognition
The man lost his enthusiasm for reaching the other
And with that, they both lost friendly position
But the other man was not a friend or brother,
He became what the happy man dreaded.
An unforgiving enemy
With no respect being credited.
A sad life it was, but it was not yours nor mine, it was simply a elusive scene.


Details | I do not know? | |

Nothing To Say

 I watched the love of two hearts crushed today,
So much pain and sadness there was nothing to say.
   For so very long the writing was on the wall,
For some reason it just was not noticed at all.
   Oh how the blame seems to be everything and everyone,
Not for a moment do they realize what they have done.
   The sarrow they feel is so hard for them to conceive,
Don't want to face the truth and they will never believe.
   Only themselves to blame and that's going to be awhile,
Before either of them will find a reason for them to smile.
   Broken hearts and thier worlds have been torn apart,
Makes me wonder will they know how to make a new start.
   Nothing good ever comes from so much deceit and lies,
To see no trust or faith just makes me want to cry.
   It's not really their fault so young and without any clue,
May be years before they learn how or what they must do.
  WE can only pray for them that they will  find their way,
The happines and joy they deserve will be found on that day.
  I watched the love of two hearts being crushed today,
To see so much sadness , there's  not much anyone can say.
TAC


Details | Verse | |

The Lake of Blackness

You look so innocent.
So easily you look into my eyes
But the lake of blackness in there
You still don't reach.

You look through sense.
You disappear when it's dark
But afterwards you are always back.
This lake of blackness lures you.

You are the enemy yourself.
You're destroying what you are.
You come to me like
I'm your heaven but
I am the darkness that
You should give up.

You are smiling softly.
So pure your eyes are
But you don't want a life that easy.
With the darkness you're
Dreaming to collide.


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 2-

My eyes
Refuse to see tragedy
My eyes
Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy 

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just let me be
Leave me alone…hand me a gun

I yearn for unspoiled glory
To make me feel perfect once more
I yearn for flawless serenity
To make me feel no regret…don’t ignore
My calls…don’t hang up on me

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just hear my plea
Listen to my excruciating cries…
Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies  
Our journey has just begun   

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye can’t handle the stress
Let me release my horrendous distress
Eye can see you making that same mistake
At least MY life isn’t at stake

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…do You feel my lament
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement
I’m aching with discontent… I abhor this torment    
When will peace scrub off my fear?

I can’t believe my eyes
Your guiltiness flows into me…
I can’t believe I fell for your lies
Your heartless action rape my mind…you don’t see
What my EYES see…

You’ll never see 
How much pressure you put me under
Unchain me from this chamber
And watch me flee…

When will you be set free?


Details | Free verse | |

Rescue Me

Everything around this feels so wrong,
Feeling as if this does not belong,

Feeling trapped inside a world that isn't for this,
Retreating within to the recesses of this mind full of bliss,

This feels like screaming but to let it out would not do,
The people would hear this and wonder to what is wrong with you,

Then to shield this so no one would understand,
Wandering the depths of mind of this barren empty land,

Alone and confined in and of this cold crystal heart,
How can this ever hope to help others when this is crumbling apart?


Details | Romanticism | |

The Widower

What is there too say now?
What is there to do this evening?
Nothing for I am without you,
I remember you, when my eyes first looked upon your brow and beautious eyes,
Your luxurious features and a heart of gold and platnium,
I am lost in a garden of cluelessness, and lost and forgotten.

My heart aches and shivers in the lone days of the mid December evenings,
You are gone and lost without a single trace,
But soon I had lost you for good and could never find you again,
I buried you in the gardens of the dead,
and the tears from my broken heart showered your grave.

Oh now I wish you were here,
To listen to my heart,
For it is out of tune and the orchestra is playing a slow melody,
and the chimes ring me to the dinner table,
To eat alone the lonely supper for the mourning of my woman.

So I eat alone tonight,
The house is quiet and empty,
The butlers and maids have gone home,
Nothing but lone, empty halls,
Once filled with love and music,
keep me company.

The slow music plays in my study,
I sit in my red chair,
I cry and cry again,
I read a book of poetry and think of you,
Not a life worth living without you.


Details | I do not know? | |

AND THEN I REMEMBER

I wake up in the middle of the night, and reach out to touch you but you are not 
there
 And then I remember, 
The pain returns as quickly as an express train racing out of a tunnel
A quite cry escapes my lips a silent tear my eyes
 I will sleep no more tonight
In the morning I stumble out of bed, not thinking I call your name
And then I remember
I go to the bathroom, no more the clean order of a woman’s touch
But instead the chaotic disorder of the single man
And then I remember 
At breakfast I automatically set two cups, milk in both, sweetener in one
And then I remember
For you it’s just another day but for me it’s as if I am trapped in a time warp 
I eat my breakfast as if in a trance 
And I taste nothing, 
I drink my tea and stare out of the window
But I see nothing
 Except in the deepest corners of my mind
You are still hear with me 
I can see your face and I can smell you perfume
Your laughter fills my heart with joy
 And once again I look into your beautiful brown eyes
And I see again the great love and a deep passion in your soul
I reach out my hand to touch your cheek
My fingers brush your dark silken hair 
You speak my name
Suddenly I feel your soft touch on my arm 
And suddenly I am back and you are gone, 
And then I remember  
    I must pull myself together
 I must try to go on
They say time heels, they say the pain will subside
They say stop thinking of yourself
Think of your child
Words are cheap when you don’t have to pay 
And then I remember
She looks deep into my eyes, and I see her mother’s love
 I see her mother’s passion for life
I reach out and touch her dark silken hair;
 And then she speaks my name,
And then I remember 
Please god let me forget, just for a moment
Just for a while
Just let my child once again see me smile
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Between the Trees in the Dark Forest...

Between the trees in the dark forest,
Called a voice filled with fear,
Between the trees in the dark forest,
Everything was dark, and nothing was clear,
Between the trees in the dark forest,
Flowers cried immortal tears,
Between the trees in the dark forest,
Frightened whispers, that's all you can hear,
Between the trees in the dark forest,
Torment is all you see,
Between the trees in the dark forest,
You can still find some mercy....


Details | Free verse | |

Found

Time … to open
My eyes…
Time … to finally realize
I am the monster … glazed in guise
Time … to take responsibility
Of your slow demise
Of your haunting, screaming, aching unconditional agony
Time … has stopped
I am horrible
Hyperventilating, breaking…
Crying—smiling, faking 
Time … to see where the snake slithers tonight
Smirking in its venom of spite
To see myself crawl in its loosened skin
And become one with its kin
The slits of his eyes frighten me
But I welcome his sick visions
Who made these sticky decisions?
Time … to do something
To help you—to break me to pieces
I am the slime where you have broken through…so revolting
Time … to shake the sand away
To relieve the burning eyes from the blindness
Time to dip them in the cool water of action
Time …
To close up again
I wimper in the dark like a lost hound..

I am so afraid
Lost … but always found


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Grip

Future held such initial promise
But shallow dreams disintegrated
Coalescing into shallower reality

Despite my youth, pain cripples me to geriatric apathy
General interest long gone, death has become the single concern
A welcome embrace, a welcome friend
Tardiness is expected, as well as encouraged

Release me from these eternally shrinking walls
Allow the peons to continue their superficial pursuits
Never meshing well into the fold, I yearn simply for permanent isolation
There is not enough joy to justify the agony that life forever guarantees me

Nihilism and anger, desires for maniacal retribution, the only feelings I've ever known
Clouded over now by perpetual physical torment, my formerly hollow shell continues to exist without capacity for optimism
Yet without hate, there seems nothing left
Shall I forever be adrift?


Details | Tanka | |

S A D Holidays



it’s dark in my life
sunshine’s never allowed in
what are holidays
      dreck from my happier times
            pointless to ever resurrect


For the “not so happy holidays contest”


Details | Rhyme | |

How Much Longer

How long must I cry inside
How many times must I die in this life
How often will I fall short
How many dreams must I abort
How many empty nights must I endure
How many second guesses before I am sure
How long will this nothingness last
About as long as this emptiness has
How much longer must I be alone
How much longer can I hold my own
On what day will I feel alright
On what day will I have my white knight
In which hour will I feel content
At which time will I stop my descent
When can I expect a blessed event
How much longer can this go on
How much more can this sorrow encroach upon


Details | I do not know? | |

Without You



Without you,

worn down, weary,
staggering into tomorrow,
dissolving my todays, grim, dreary,

I crawl, slipping out of my skin,
flinging laughter, joy, contentment,
into the gaping abyss of life's dustbin.

Without you


Details | Verse | |

Forever

You may not ever see but
Forever is just a word.
Nothing is real.
Why do you keep trying to hold on?

Forever never was and never
Will be yours,
Whatever you are said,
It is a pretty lie.

Though you don't listen to, and
Don't catch the sense,
Soon your world will crash and
You'll forget yourself.

Forever is just a word,
Confusion put in mind,
Forever is unreal.
Forever is a lie.

by Olga Kushnirenko


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Healing

Father,
Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be.
I am the product of myself and my negativity.
I trust You.
I love You.
I thank You.
In Your name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | I do not know? | |

Only Choice

To the back or to the front

On my forehead or under my chin

To my temple

Out of my mouth, 

Or in.


Details | I do not know? | |

This bitter love

For the years I have stood hear,
It has brought me many tears,
Loves bitter bite inside my heart,
I love so much it tears me apart

The only thing he sees is hate,
He can’t see this love is great,
I sometimes wonder if he sees,
That love whispers in the trees

I don’t know if he hates or loves,
As he wants to be above,
I no longer see it in his eyes,
As he thinks I say nort but lies

I wish this did not hert so much,
Like a fire to the touch,
Sometimes I wish that I would die,
So I can’t hear him say good bye


Details | Verse | |

A Broken Soul

Sadness, anger
Feelings that I hate
But now I see it’s late
I see there’s no way back 
Because strength is what I lack

My soul…it screams, it aches
It fights and it breaks
It breaks into millions of pieces
If I could
I would have fixed this

I sit under the dark sky
Only one word I whisper
“Why?”
The voice of nature echoes it…

I feel the darkness 
The silence
Rise among my eyes
And suddenly I realize
I’m in a pit of lies


Details | Free verse | |

Pawn

And so do I fall, and so do I fail,
Falling so deeply into this destructive void,
Nothing but ash and specs of dust that were once my brittle bones and scarred flesh.

To not know what is ahead,
How maddening! How so distraught have I seemingly become,
Forgotten myself as time has smoothed over me.

Tricky, sly fiend indeed; master and slave a like to us all.

Do I dare move forward into the uncertainty that is humanity and of such society?
So gut wrenching, thoughts filled of bile at what is.

As we all are from and are the same, yet tear limb by limb the essence of ourselves by one another in an endless state of bigotry and violence; so brightly are we bathed in evil.

So easy is it to see.

Miracles; perhaps shall they see fit to carry me away from the void that is, and from such temptation, as to live the rest of days in blissful, stagnant dreams.


Details | I do not know? | |

Another Year On

So many things that go around,
Yet in this crowd there is no sound,
The world seams dead and void inside,
And I can’t seem to run and hide.

I hear her screaming out for help,
She gives a final wounded yelp,
She hits the floor and eyes turn black,
Now she knows she can’t turn back.

Those left behind hide up and die,
No one ever wants to cry,
The tears of blood cause too much pain,
Our poisoned hearts are not the same.

As your body dissolves to ash,
The whole world changes in a flash,
No more happiness for us to share,
No more mother to love and care.



Details | Haiku | |

Dream

As time stops
So does my heart.
The beat, the sound
More important love
I lose my breath
The puke in my veins.
My heart and soul
Gone away.

I open my eyes
Start screaming for help
It was all just a dream
I hope.

Look down and
Laying there in my bed
I'm as still as a rock
Cold and dead.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Art of Darkness

When you offer up your heart and soul
and pour yourself into a relationship
only to have it spat back into your face
and your heart ripped out and trampled under foot
right before your own eyes

and when you attempt any kind of damage limitation
to be laughed at almost hysterically
leaving you to hide in a dark corner
with the tears streaming down your face
feeling every raw nerve being scraped again and again

and yet you go on hoping for better
optimistically hoping for sunrise
when in reality there is only the night and darkness
the darkness of her nasty mouth and wicked laugh

in it all there is one glimmer of light,
the children you made are beautiful and bright
and young as they are they can see the truth

as you retreat further you feel it stir
deep inside it fights back
your spirit, that wonderful human thing
it’ still there unbroken, just a little bent

so you escape into your art
and pour into it your heart
but art has a dark side too
and it can bite you opening up the wounds
making you raw once again

facing the darkness from within your light
and so yet again you retreat into the night

...............deeper and DEEPER into Darkness


Details | Free verse | |

Protect Me As I Sleep

Nobody 
Knows my real name
‘Angel’ 
Is what I go by
I am freezing cold
I don’t have money
Just, the clothes on my back
I am a walking wardrobe
I am lonely
I smell like crap
I am starving hungry
I can’t find any shelter
My clothes are drenched
I look like a drowned rat!
Violence
Upon women
Is classed normal
Around here!
I wonder...
If
I will survive
Another day?
Only
To wake up
And
Do this
All over, again!
“Protect me tonight
As,I lay my head to rest”
“I love you, dear God”

“Goodnight”


Details | Free verse | |

Abandon

Their grip is loose on their hold of me
Allowing myself to fall
Plummet into the void
Blackness stalks
Emptiness intrudes
Help is galaxies away
Dimensions away
Nothing can save myself
....
Above, I can hear their bellows of glee
For they have let go of me
I am alone
On my own
Woe to those
who were let go too
For they have seen what I have
A seeing that can never undo
Fall with me
You are not alone, my friends
We were let go
And now...
We shall fall.


Details | Rhyme | |

Just Go

You have to go
Just go
So I can let go

I’ve hugged you hard
Despite your guard
I’ve parked my sorrows
But wiped your tears
I’ve fallen right down to the ground
Yet offered to always hold your hand

For you I always did stand

You kept me near
But stayed far and clear
You brought me confusion
I held onto our illusion
You let me down
But your faith was my crown

Now it’s too late
Years of hard work washed by lies
See the quirk of fate
I miss you, sure I do
But you miss me more
I just can’t be there for you
Anymore

Can’t we meet half way?
No damn it
We can’t
You couldn’t even go a step with me
Now I choose to walk away

I will leave you 
I have no choice
I will forget you
Because I have to
I will forgive you
To start brand new

You have to go
Just go
So I can let go 



Details | Rhyme | |

bloody red roses part 2

     She lies in a pile of bloody red roses

She left a note to her folks  saying

" I cant go on im sorry"

      It didnt say why

But still we cry

      We are all very sad

some of us are mad

       none of us are glad

She'll b greatly missed

        To me she was like a sis

But when will the rumors stop

        Noone knows the truth not even the cops

My pain is great 

       I wish we hadnt been late

But when we got there 

        there she lay 

on her already made bed of

Bloody red roses


Details | Free verse | |

For a Moment

For a moment, I believed I even allowed myself to breathe. . . To smile upon you in all that was said and done For a moment, you were there And a simple thought made me beam I was there looking you in the eye it seemed For a moment, doubt swept under my feet Threatening to bring me to the ground But your words pulled me up by the string For a heavy moment, I realized Just how far you are from me Too far to be close—to far to allow that smile And for another sad, long moment, I sit here in awe-struck despair Wondering why the smile was ever there


Details | Rhyme | |

Shame of Silence

In the year, nineteen an’ thirty-nine, 
in a small town that seemed not to care,
a little girl tried her very best
to dress well, and groom her dark hair.
She’d fight for her life—whatever it took,
an’ survive her father so cruel,
her heart would stay strong , she’d try hard to belong
in this town, and much harder—in school.

Her mama had passed on to Heaven—
five years since she’d  breathed her last breath…
Daddy had tried to hide how he cried,
but then chose to live life in the past.
He drank every day of the week then,
and worked—but seldom, at most.
His life seemed meaningless—useless,
lacking life goals he might boast.

Food was quite scarce in the cupboards,
and her thin arms and legs bore the tale
of bruises and stripes from the whippings
she received every week without fail.
She was only a girl in the fourth grade
but her will and good marks got her thru’—
nobody would come to her rescue,
in those days—t’was the wrong thing to do.

Her dresses were hand-me-down clothing
with ties hanging loose in the back—
bright calico colors were faded
but worn proud no matter their lack.
She tried hard to comb her long tresses
and bathe whenever she could,
but water was heated on a potbellied stove,
and Dad wouldn’t chopped any wood.

The house, feeling cold and so lonely,
was never fresh cleaned as before,
looking neglected and run down—
crooked shutters and broken screen door. 
Kids teased her at school on the playground,
and shunned her when seen about town.
Her soul was burdened with sorrow,
and her eyes looked sad-blue tho’ dark brown.

Suspicion and rumors abounded
but folks minded their business back then—
they stayed out of another man’s family
no matter his obvious sin.
She struggled each day in her hard life,
making plans for a future to live
but fate was cruel and decisive— 
too soon, she had no more to give…

The town had just turned a blind eye—
neglected to care for this child,
protect the poor girl who lived in their midst,
and was known to be quite meek and mild.
Now, a grave lies stark—unattended,
her birth date and death carved in stone—
murdered by her drunken father, 
ignored by a town—left alone.

(dedicated to Donna who survived abuse)

              Tamara Hillman
                    ©2007


Details | I do not know? | |

Within Me


Within Me

Flowing through the rivulets of my everyday thoughts,
memories of you surface, gasping for air, breathing in,
permeating, absorbed by the pores of my ageing skin.

Famished, greedily gulping mouthfuls of fractured life,
awash in distant yesteryear, when your feathery kisses,
banished the vacuum, dispelling my anguish and strife.

You are eternally carved, and embroidered into my soul,
I wash ashore, smashing against the boulders of the now,
seeking solace, begging for absolution with my empty bowl.

The book of fate is sealed shut, the tea-leaves have been read,
nothing remains within me, the burden of smiling has been shed.

Now I am stranded, between dreams and the empty years ahead,
searching for forgiveness, in the miles I have yet to wearily tread.



Details | Free verse | |

Familiars

Ah, here you have come again,
Again you sit in this chair,
How familiar this room so is,
So solitaire in your life, ha, how fair it is,

How you engulf those emotions in bitter fire,
Drown your frown in a realization of emptiness,
How you realize the loneliness and abandonment of your mind,
Your hope and wish to fill the empty, lonely void,

Perhaps one day it shall all change,
But in the now you suffer,
You wonder your discoveries,
How enlightening were they really?

Hanging your head so low,
As if seeming to pray in the eyes of others,
In amidst reality you hide the corners of your saddened mouth,
Your hands caressing the wounded mask,

To lose yourself in words,
You search for comfort,
A faded hand upon your shoulder,
But your shoulders carry only the burdens of others,

To have your shoulders broken,
No others to offer theirs up,
You watch the river wash you away,
As you drown and ascend to your new home up above.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Down and Out

How I hate the way I feel today,
   I just want everything to go away.
Don't know if I am angry or sad ,
  All I know is that it feels real bad.
Everything is so mixed up inside ,
  Confused by it all I just want to cry.
Closing my eyes trying to get some rest,
   Doesn' help much getting only moments at best.
Hoping for nightfall is what I want now,
   Praying tomorrow will be better some how.
How I hate these days when I am down ,
   Wishing nobody would ever come around.
Asking myself why I am in this mood,
   What will it take to change my attitude.
Surely there is something to make me smile,
   I wonder if there is because it's been awhile.
Reading the book to maybe see my way through,
   It doesn't help either I am still feeling blue.
Listening to others and what they have to say,
   Changes nothing at all I still feel this way.
Why are there days I feel so down and out ,
   Makes me want to just scream and shout.
Wait for the morning sunrise is what I'll do,
   Possibly then I will be able to talk to you.
Oh how I do not like the way I feel today,
   It's just the worst ever feeling this way.
TAC


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -part 2-

A long time passes and I am still here Silently insulting, brutally weeping But then I lift my head from the ground To see him standing there Towering over me in all endeavor of quietude Was he there the entire time? I feel his eyes but see only his stare I am dreaming again Has he returned to guide me? To frighten me back into reality? Who are you, entity of fear? I know death draws me near— But why, oh mystery, do you linger here? He never answers me, though still I try Why are you here? Must you hate me too? He pulls me up staring me down His thin, sophisticated form makes me feel hollow Empty features burning my vision As he bends facing me I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Why, I ask, my voice croaking Tell me why. . . He takes my hand as I cringe Walking me to the edge, his head tilted my way I shake like a dried leaf on the brink of autumn A small, pathetic part of me wants to thank him To believe all of this. . .is right How though, can I trust his blank sincerity? I am the only. . .the lonely But there he is beside me His long fingers intermingling in mine The sense of fear and confusion Sticking to me like grime I am the Slender Man—I am—your friend And for once I let him embrace me I cannot bear to flee He tenses and tightens his grip Dreading I may slip away in panic Please stay. . .please stay Soon it will all just go away. . . He is warm against me—alive Breathing slowly, I feel the beating of his heart Bashing my nerves—blurring my mind Tingles shoot down my spine As I stand there, so close to him We watch a sagging sunset As tears flow down my infected eyes I have learned to fly. . .to embrace the lies Squeezing my hand he holds me close As the black sun wearily lifts its head one last time Only to sink from its post I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I lie Slender Man cradles me in his tendrils Surrounding me like I am its sickly nourishment Whispering comforting falsehood I gaze beyond the wasteland Beyond myself. . . But there I find nothing Hand in hand we walk over the edge Heading yonder into the sheer, sweet Nothingness The demons watch us disappear Grinning from ear to ear I cannot see them now. . . But I can smell their fear -January 26, 2013-


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

DEATH

I could see a face, 
In tears, at my agony phase, 
Mum, was that you there,
Together with them, my death to declare? 

I could die it painful, 
Too young, life wasteful, 
Dad, was that you tearful, 
Trying to remember our lives eventful? 

Could come up another, 
Hopes, me not to die, 
Friends, are you there to lie, 
And let me live like it were? 

I could imagine it now, 
From toes, painfully slow, 
Soul from its cages, go
Lifeless, cold on the floor. 
Left hurt, everyone to sob.

Peacefully gone, 
To God with all sins done, 

Dear God, could I for a minute talk, 
Talk good, narrate a folk, 
That I lived a life of hate, 
For I fought all that did want a fight.


Details | Haiku | |

Midnight

The lamp light illuminates My messy bedroom And brings me joy to my heart The lamp light turns off quickly The mellow midnight Has revealed its pure beauty The door opens and welcomes The priceless sunrise And inspires me to write poems The morning greets me again The lovely stars dim I miss the midnight wonders!


Details | Ballad | |

Jock

Jock.

Now Jock he was a friend of mine
In those good old army days
When teenage boys were herded in
And made to change their ways
He told me one fine summer’s day
With a big blue sky above
"I'm glad that I'm a soldier boy
This army life I love".

They shipped him off to good old Nam
Placed a rifle in his hands
And said "now you're a soldier boy
I hope you'll understand
We're fighting those old Vietcong
You've got to see us right
You don't know what it's all about!!!
Nor us, just go and fight"

Poor Jock ain't with us any more
God bless his poor old mum
Our lad he was a forward scout
No use his bloody gun
As the flying metal put him down
Our jock the hero died
As politicians wined and dined
So many tears were cried.


Details | Ballad | |

Diedre II

Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode I cunnan sense her embrace that felans gelic Tragedy A Heart to hath, slipped beneoðan waw The dark pulse nou beckons us closer How many daegs will this passion bledan way We will beon the ans left to blame Bewarian we hath be-came their prey They say thou hast ben addicted to thy pain A life-leas cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper to close to the edge A ceallian fram the dark Bringan ut a saving sparke An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode “My decadence wesan just for thee Though thou never hast cared of what I hath been through Enter the world hwaer empathy is clandestine A world created by thee, just for me Hwaet is lecgan in my heart Is why thou wants to through the stan” I call thy name towards nightfall’s reign But they take thou so feorr way A dark engel so devin Cursed by Eden’s Heart I will avenge every tear An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode


Details | Rhyme | |

William Hughes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTPIJW_nVCY

I pity him, a young black teen
Trying to be a man with no self-esteem
He examines his life but still can't get it right
His history and past still affecting him at night

He dreams dreams where he relives the past
When he was talked about for not being very fast
A fat boy, dedicated to his love
Rejected affection is what he dreams of

His attempts at sports earned him a bad place
In which he was called a disgrace to his race
And sadly he had a very weak heart
Falling for every girl in hopes to brighten up his dark

Empty, alone, he searched for his essence
Something he could use to embrace in his darkness
The job was open but no one would commit
No one would help to pull him out of this abyss

A quiet boy, what they call honest and sweet
Mistreated, deleted, and beat to his knees
Closed eyes he listens to the laughter
It shaped him, molded him, just like beaten batter

He's now 17 and has an intriguing mind
He knows what to fix but doesn't know how to bind
To seal the torn edges of his soul
To direct the path in which his emotions go

He's no longer bullied but his mind is on self-destruct
Never felt the love of a pretty girls touch
Somethings still wrong but he doesn't know what
What's repelling them, is he not enough

He opens his eyes looking through a wet mist
A single tear falls and he clenches his fist
He sits up listening to his hearts drum
And at last the next day has finally begun


Details | Blank verse | |

Alone With No Sense Of Direction

I am a lost person, but I am not alone.
I make choices in my life and I choose to let go.
I need a change of space, and my lyrical notes,
The beauty and the face should fade, but more I want to grow.
The nobility in life is sad, when madness is a nuisance and insanity a fad.
I have some regrets, some I can't forget,
but If I can't forgive myself, then who will forgive my sins?
I'll give it my all, and pray I win.
I'll keep my heart locked and throw away the key,
never let anyone inside, so I can remain free.
Can I question a higher power, or would I be dead,
The scum of the earth, creating poetry that is read,
by the mindless masses, blaming the heart to death,
I hope this will heal me, burning the past, 
The beauty in the innocence, never really lasts.
I have a feeling tonight will open my eyes, 
and guide me too the light instead of lies.
I'm praying to god that you are how I think you are,
because I need compassion, not just a broken heart.
I don't know why I like you, but you seem to close to part.
Please don't leave me here, surrounded in the dark.


Details | Free verse | |

Kali

Kali, Kali, Kali
She is the sated navy night
Swathed with soldering white stars 
Warm summer air, coastal dream

An unwavering fortune of 
deep, red Eden grapes
Hanging like drops of sweet wine

Shifting with dark leaves 
the balmy breeze
with trees that sound like tumbling seas,
 singing,
“Kali, Kali, Kali”

She is a lullaby, a reverie
At home and away
She carries all of it with her
A man’s entire heart,
 Italian spells
Her golden hips curving like a bell
slender spindle legs
 sun kissed shoulders
wrapped soft, she is a doll 
with air-brushed skin 
Kali, Kali, Kali…
You will always win
While I will never be enough

Kali, your legacy
 presses knives in me 
 Making my hour glass body
 an inadequate pendant
with an unfortunate name
a ripped blue dress
second rate lips
falling to the floor, sore…
 
My nights pulse only with heavy music
Rummaging suits, dark rooms
sticky floors, cigarettes, señores 
 and a dizzied mind
 hoping this night will pass

and I’m terrified, Love

Because even when you’re with me
I can’t be home
And I can’t be my own
My blood’s too dense
And my heart’s too free
This, Kali makes me see

I am not a dream
But broken seams
My intentions covered over 
By the song of tumbling seas

I’ll only ever be
Unworthy me…
 Alli…


Details | Rhyme | |

In The Depths

Easy it is to go down in the dark
Easy it is to drown in your heart
Easy it is lie down and seek death
But do not expect death just yet
Easy it is to yearn and want
Easy it is for the ghosts to haunt
Easy it is to want death to come
But not so easy to let go of life hum drum
Easy it is to want it to end
But not so easy to transcend
Not so easy to move past the dark
Not so easy to lift your heart
Easy it is to go into the expanse
To happily go deeper
To die perchance
Easy it is to seek death and decay
But not so easy to be happy and stay


Details | Lyric | |

Black Widow

1 through the door
2 through your heart
3 through your head
4 colors in my eyes
Red, red, red

1 clash
2 rings
3 words
4 sirens
Shrieks of red, red, red

1 bed of white
2 saviors
3 men at my side
4 grievers
Tears of red, red, red

1 room of rock
2 rings around my wrist
3 eyes in my head
4 days before forever
Stains of red, red, red

1 room
2 sides
3 on one
4 on the other
Crying out red, red, red

1 decision
2 stabs of pain in my side
3 cries
4 smiles
The judge says red, red, red

1 boy
2 people
3 arguments
4 solutions
Mine was red, red, red


Details | Free verse | |

The Razor

The razor has left you with scars that remind you
Of how you had wanted to end in the bathroom
And now they talk softly and tiptoe around you
So you won’t be tempted again by the past gloom


Details | I do not know? | |

Parallel Lines

I am lost, and broken,

trapped alone,
in a foggy crevasse,

wedged between sanity | madness | anguish.


I lose, and break,

memories taunting,
my waking thoughts,

stripping me bare | naked | exposed.


I survive, barely breathing,

slipping deeper,
into nothingness,

feeling little | shattered | numb.

I am incomplete, without you,

broken and fatigued,

gnawed by emptiness | desolation | pain.


I persist, each breath futile,

crushed, yet alive,
comforted knowing only,

that you breathe | you live | and you love.




Details | Senryu | |

Pulled the Trigger

Bullet wounds
The criminal shoots down his
First targets

How dare you
Shoot them uncontrollably
CHAOS grows .  .  .

Don’t shoot it!
The victims are running mad
And you pulled

The trigger
I’m terrified of your strength
DROP IT, man ! ! !


Details | Rhyme | |

THE UNWANTED RISE OF TEARS

My own downfall,
being with no malice of intent.
the gravity of being born with no force,
my soul even wanders beyond my spirit.
shame of uncleanliness;
guilt of unworthiness,
troubles of accepting,
missing pieces that can't be held together.
troubles with sanity,
sometimes roughing it out to tip of the edge of reasoning.
no rest for the weary,
thanks!, things couldn't get any tougher than this.
mentality co-existing with no hope of success,
unwanted failures and regrets slowing me down until it all ends.


Details | I do not know? | |

Sigh

Fabricated lies boundless,
Without a cause.
Words of promises
Left forgotten.
Abandoned soul
Heart less and alone.
Tears of sadness recognized
But not accompanied.
04/09/09


Details | Free verse | |

Henchman

Rolling away into a vast memory of mindless predictions…
You’re a spawn, nothing more…
Says the master of continuous hypocrisy…
Eerie eyed to the three horned absorbency…
Keep turning my wheel…
Keep turning…
Until all the sweat is gone…
The aborted holocaust…
It’s not here by nature, or by will…
Keep walking round…
Keep walking steady…
My palms bleed with the urge to stand still…
I see the man with the whip…
You can see the greed within him…
Lashing as they throw the bodies away…
Until the last leg trembles…
We keep watching the ‘oh so obvious symbols…
Oh how Grendel would be proud…


Details | Free verse | |

Summer School

One year I went to a summer school. 
And there was a girl there 
With shining eyes and
An award winning smile. 
She was kind to everyone and 
Excluded no one. 
She always laughed with others
But you could go to her when you 
needed it.
We talked for hours and
Quickly became friends. 

Last year I went back to summer school. 
The girl was still there. 
She had sad eyes but
Kept the award winning smile. 
She was kind to everyone yet
Excluded herself. 
She never laughed properly 
But you could always go to her 
when you needed it. 
We talked for mere minutes and
I guess I lost a friend. 

This year when I went to summer 
school
The girl was no longer there.
Rumours of suicide surrounded
Her name
And no one was kind to us all.
Everyone excluded their-selves.
Silence consumed every thought and moment
Because no one was there when we 
truly needed it. 
Memories of talking haunted me and
I couldn't help but miss my friend.


Details | Rhyme | |

Have You Ever

Have you ever felt the longing
Coursing through your veins
Have you ever felt the emptiness
Driving you insane
Have you ever felt the yearning
Reducing you to tears
Have you ever wondered why
You've lived through all these years
Do you ever feel the hunger
For a life not your own
Do you ever feel the emptiness
Of being in this world alone
Do you ever feel the sadness
Crushing your tender heart
Reducing you to madness
Do you ever fall apart
If you've ever wondered these
If you've ever wanted to flee
If you've ever felt your heart seize
Then be assured that you know me
And I do know thee


Details | I do not know? | |

Demolished

I’ve never hit rock bottom so hard.
I got up but it feels like I’m still sitting down.
I’ve never felt pain so bad
To the point where I just can’t function.
The memories I can’t seem to erase
They replay in my head constantly until I’m in tears.
I’ve never had my heart broken so bad
That just picking up the pieces crumbles in my hands.
I’ve never felt so alone.
That even while you hold me
I can’t feel your arms.
I’ve never been so depressed in my life
That even a psychiatrist don’t know my diagnosis.
There is only one way to go but up.
But my ladder keeps sliding down.
I run, jump, skip, hop.
Defeat lays on my breastplate.  


12/23/12


Details | Free verse | |

My Shadow



Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity.

No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me.

Even the brightest sun doesn’t destroy you, you only exist because of me.

All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.



Details | ABC | |

i like the dark

the dark is were i belong
i feel i guess wanted 
i love the dark it relaxes me 
im so use to the cold darkness 
its soo dark i can barly see
its so cold n depressing
i cry in the dark 
the dark is just were i want be
i stay in the dark to be hiden 
i stay in the dark so no 1 can know my emotions 
my feelings are lost hiden deep inside and thats how it shall stay....


Details | Rhyme | |

Abide in the Light

You abide in the light
I’ll miss you…when you venture off at night 
Don’t forget me…
Don’t discard me…
Don’t leave me…   

Forgive me for drifting away from you… 

Please forgive me…
Please don’t ignore me…
Hear my pleas…don’t turn the other direction…
Run with me…into heaven’s light

I’ve given you my soul…
I’ve shared with you my melody
I’ve fed you until you were full…
I’ve healed you when you were under the weather…
I’ve tried to bring us back together

You hang on the rope of hope
I’ll rely on you…I’ll cling to you… 
You saved me from subsiding into the obscure abyss

Don’t reject me…
Don’t depart from me…
Don’t release me…

Respect me for who I’ve become
Please respect me…
Honor my presence 
Protect me from any sort of harm  
Is it in your nature to relieve my anguish? 

I’ve been driven away by my affliction 
I’ve set you free from Egypt…and lead you to the Promise Land 
Have you forgotten my affection? 
I’ve tried to empathize what you’re going through – I’ve gave you a helping hand
Don’t you understand? Will you ever understand? 

You abide in the light 
I’ll miss you…when you depart from my heart
Don’t forget me…
Don’t discard me…
Don’t mourn for me… 

Forgive me for wishing for your absence…
Please forgive me…
Please don’t give up on me…
Hear my side of the story… don’t turn the other direction…

I’m still training for perfection    

Run with me…until we arrive at home 
Hold my hand and we’ll take divine flight 
I’ve cherished you for so long
I’ve lead you to my home town – 
Do you remember where you and I belong?

I’ve given you my trust…
I’ve shared with you my dreams
You’re an apple to my eye

You were my angel of grace, promising concord –
Bestowing blessings upon me 
Your vitality never wears off…

You were my lamp – 
Glowing with serenity and elation
Tranquilizing my mind from despair and unease

I’ll never regret…meeting you that magnificent night 
I knew that that was love at first sight
The moment you stepped foot into the light 


Details | Rhyme | |

My prison jump suit

Used to be an individual
now I'm just a complex number
stripped away from my own individuality
made me uncomfortably wake from my
slumber.

Used to be a boy wonder.
I was living the life.
Didn't think I'd get sucked under,
didn't think I'd end up wanting to kill myself
with a hunting knife.

My wrongful deeds have made me feel as if I'm living in a 
dreadful still life picture,
wishing someone would look at me
and reconsider and view me as a normal fixture. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Life Of A Hurt Family

What life holds for a loved one out there,
Who choose the life of the dark streets,
Instead of living here,
What she has choose didnt make the two ends meet.
My beloved little sister choose the addiction of drugs,
And my mother and I sit in agony wondering when god will save her from the devils work,
We miss a part of a family wishing we can give her a hug,
We put all the pain and worry in the hands of the Lord.
We pray that he gets her off the streets in a safe way,
While she's out there throwing herself out there for the men to make money,
We pray we can hold that little girl we once knew again some day,
And be able to know we have that girl back and seeing she is as sweet as honey.
Not have a loved one use and steal off of us,
Just to know the streets won't kill my sister first,
All we can do know is have faith and trust,
All of this right now is just a curse.
We recieve a phone call one night,
The police arrested her for robbery,
We finally see the light,
My sister sitting in the jail house wishing she could win the lottery.
God answered our prayers,its better then the death of a family member,
Today I thank him and always will for saving her from the dark path she was heading to,
I'm glad that her life won't hither,
My sister would have killed herself and the unborn two.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pain

--dedicated to my friend Laura Breidenthal... I really wish I could be there for you more...
-----------------------------
Pain

Pain is here
Pain is there
Pain is in the mind
Pain is kind
Pain is cruel
Makes us a fool

Your pain
My pain
our pain
her pain
his pain
their pain

Pain is life
Pain is the edge of the knife
Pain is worry and strife
Pain is knowing I cannot comfort you
Pain is doing all I can do
To try and help anyway

Pain is sorrow
Pain is today, yesterday, and tomorrow
Pain is always and forever
Pain ends never
Pain is the smile on the face
That vanishes without a trace

Your pain...
it's the worst pain
I wish to take your pain
Drown it with the rain
I WISH TO HAVE YOUR PAIN
I wish
I wish
Pain does not comply
It remains...a calloused lie
Pain is there
Pain is here

Pain is the worry that tomorrow
Tomorrow will only bring sorrow
Pain is NOT BEING ABLE TO COMFORT YOU!
Pain is the futile attempt to make that smile appear to you
Pain is knowing it's all to no avail
Pain is know I just fail

Pain is here
Pain is there
Your pain
My pain

Pain are the tears that constantly flow behind the closed eyes
Pain is hoping we never have to say goodbye
Pain is strife
Pain is life
Pain is the series of irrational cuts on the skin
Pain is the forced stretched fake grin

Pain I see in your eyes
Pain I wish was all a lie
Pain I wish to take away
And allow happiness to stay

Pain
Pain
Pain is always there
But if I could
I'd take all your pain away...


Details | I do not know? | |

Abuse

Trapped. No where to hide.You scream at me through the door.Though your words still 
sting me.
I sit on the ground alone.Blood drips down like tears. tears run down like rain.The room's 
spinning.  My heart bursts out of my clothes.We got into a fight.  Why is unclear.
I tried to leave.  You hit me. I fell.I started to cry.  You kicked me.A sharp pain burst out of 
my chest.  I could not breath. I have little energy,I kicked you.  You fell. I ran to our 
bedroom.
I am trapped.  No where to hide.I'm weak. I stumble to your Night stand.I see a gun.You 
break down the door.  I grab the gun.You start to choke me, squeezing my throat like you 
were trying to get some sort of juice out of me.
I pull the trigger.
BANG!Trapped.  No where to hide.Your grip feels looser.   Your face in pain.
You fall down. i fall into darkness.Free.  No need to hide.


Details | I do not know? | |

Deadly

My mind was filled with hope

and desire. 

While laying in a garden of 

wildfire. 

Take my skin and flesh to boil 

and burn.

I feel the end come as I turn. 

Ash and nothing more is what 

I've become. 

Are there tears in your eyes or 

are there none.

Endure and take when I am a 

ghost. 

Know that I'll haunt you 

because I loved you the most.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Mask

So much on my mind
I can’t think straight 
Nobody understand
I don’t demonstrate it.
I hide behind the smiles
Which I call a mask,
And talk so sweet
So they don’t see the hurt
That’s within me.
I’ve become so 
Introverted and isolated
From those I thought I knew,
And landed in the position 
Of a permanent foe.
04/30/08


Details | Quatrain | |

Let Sorrow Sleep

Eyes too tired to cry
Voice to weak to scream
Fire to dim to die
Soul too dark to dream


Details | Lyric | |

Suicide

As the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and months into years I wondered half-heartedly how so much time could pass me by. My life was a matter of simply getting through each moment. Existing but never living.

The days dragged on. Growing bleaker and bleaker with each passing moment. And, oh the nights how dark and lonely they always proved to be. Sheer exhaustion but never rest. Sleep was as foreign to me as the life I had one day known. The best I could have hoped for was to have collapsed into a heap.

The tears, how they streamed shamelessly down my cheeks. In the dark corner I sat trying to avoid the world. All alone. The pain unbearable. I couldn’t breathe. Only gasp between my sobs. Never-ending sadness moving in on me. Closing in until hysteria would come and take its place.

The pills. Oh, they helped for awhile. Eased the pain a little in the beginning but that didn’t last. So more doctors, more pills. Start taking this one and quit taking that. Stronger doses always called for though they never helped. Frustration added to the pain. Desperation finally took over.

Tonight’s the night. All alone. Making plans. Leaving notes. Will they forgive me? Will it matter if they don’t? Freedom on the other side of a bottle. A hot bath. A handful of these and another of those. It’s just a matter of time now. The tub is so relaxing. Growing sleepy. Now is the time. I have to let go. Eternity calls my name. No more pain. I am free.


Details | Free verse | |

Monsters

The monsters came back, 
They taunted her every night,
Telling her absurd things.
They made her think.
They whispered in her ear 
Trying to lead her to do 
something
She had tried so hard to 
overcome.
This was a constant battle 
Between her and the wicked.
And yet again,
She was left with nothing
In a dark room
Because the monsters won.


Details | Bio | |

Alone and Empty

I'm feeling secluded and alone again
I'm lost in my tiny room
I'm in a grave without the funeral
It's my social pit of doom

How did life become so empty
Do I have a sign which is saying no entry
Maybe I'm to blame for this social suicide
Is this all part of life's rocky ride

I'm left with just me and my thoughts
Feeling all out of sorts
My own company is my worst enemy
It's sapping and wasting my energy
But I will never come crying to you for sympathy

My sheets will not become tear stained with blood
There will be no flood
I'm stuck in this mud
Is anyone listening
Is that understood
Or am I just misunderstood

Where are the shoulders on which to lean
I don't know what's happening
This must be a dream
So if you won't walk with me I will walk alone
Through my zone to find my throne

Why is it that inside I keep feeling so afraid
I fear this isolation which I have made
Has become so entwined on me
I've become my own worst slave and enemy

Living deaf dumb and blind is leaving me behind
It's getting me nothing which I try to find
My confidence is low, how do I strive on
I don't want to mess up anymore
I don't want to get it wrong

It's hard enough to believe in yourself
When you are not believing in me emphatically
I'm left with this loneliness enticing me sarcastically

And so I'm left alone and empty
In which it has gripped me
And it has stripped me down again
This destructive loneliness
It won't leave as my one true only friend


Details | Narrative | |

Red Eyes and Sinister Looks

Chains, hay forks, knives, and a hollow whisper,
become more true and sinister.
Halt in the middle of the moon light, 
and a waver image soon is no delight.
Voices run a muck in the head, 
so not calming you wish you were dead.
Gushing blood through the eye
not an image that you would rely.
Nails stuck on your neck with such pain
so your paralyze just little life sustain.
Hoodlums terrorizing people running a muck
did not really know they are in luck.
More dangerous beings are out their
to commit such act and with sinister stare.
Laughing with haunting echo's through
is an aspect of fear can imbue.
The wind changes direction to smother
the echoing sound of laughter.
The panicking state that you are in
soon drives a knife within.
Blood rushing out of your vain
a crucial part of your life dropping like rain.
Running without a destination
you will never reach anyone of your relation.
Sliding your body on a wall
keeping your fall in a stall.
Red eyes you can see it at night
is soon devouring you with little bite.
Changing your belief with tonics of relief
and it is to late to turn a new leaf.
Ears start to deceive the animals sound
eating limbs are chewing around.
Slowly your red eyes steadily getting heavy
is starting to take your life with a levy.
Dropping down with no attitude
and your life force slowly loses altitude.
Breathing comes not so easy
smelling flesh seems so beastly.
The change comes a desire
with frightening red eyes of fire.
Comes more lethal than the hoodlums 
your heart beating like drums.
Your hand becomes all fury
claws come out and your howl with furry.
Trance your in with no one to blame
a rage thats hundreds of centuries of flame.
Rising from a slumber of long lust
a animal instinct that you can trust.
Tearing things apart with no meaning
is a trait that is so deceiving.
Red eyes at night you see in a window
like a poisonous black widow.
Keeps you in attack mode of insanity
that takes all your vanity.
Ferocious emotions eating away
the soul that you had once betray.
The echoing sounds of loud thunder
breaks away the armor with sunder.
You fall once again to torturous agony
the feeling of one self is so lonely.
Shaking in the corner you are found
with blood soaked skin you drowned.
The night becomes day cruel in some way
your memories go in disarray.
The hunters with torches and sinister look
had parted way their hands shook.


Details | Quatrain | |

The Fortress

This fortress is coming down;
It's been a long time in the making.
This bastion can't hold its own;
All these walls are shaking.


Details | Quatrain | |

Confrontation With Evil - Part II - Fear

Part II - Iambic Tetrameter aabb rhyme

Part II

Concealed in dreams, revealed at dawn,
The dark brings demon things thought strong.
No morbid mood can now contain
Feigned pride residing there in pain.

The dreadful dark of dreams means fear,
As shades and shadows now appear,
In early morning forming light,
Selecting scenes and stealing sight.

No pill can fill the empty will
Consuming and seducing still
All brevity and clarity
Of ones own personality.

To realize reality
Is nothing more than what you see
Inside the prism of your mind,
Confirms the evil there to find.

Each day may start and part in fear
(relief is just belief made clear)
When life's confounded all around
Your ears will hear and fear all sound

From days when all you thought was true
Depended on a vision view
That took the book of facts and claims
And mastered making names and games.

The fear that clears your dreary dreams,
Will float around your moat of schemes
And leave you neat but not alone
As fear is near its final home.

Now so confused, bemused and used
These needy dreams leave you abused.
What light or might or higher sight 
Do dark dreams seem to glean each night?

Now lost inside you cannot hide
Forsaking all your waking pride;
What curst incursion must be made
To take and make you not afraid.

Fear will hover over sorrow,
Reaching, leaching living marrow
Deep within the bin of bone,
This fear will reach but not atone.



Details | Narrative | |

The Sea Blue Eyes I

Once in a while I meet a person whose eyes tell their story
The story is like the sky reflection on the seas of glory
The eyes are all the wonder of the world
It sees the future, past, and present
The eyes give us knowledge of the world and reflection
The reflection of sadness and weakness of each creature
The wonder of each individual being has a present
To the world who has lots of false images
To arise the moment of that one glance
To follow the heart in romance
Just the reflection that gather in your eyes of blue
What a man and a woman should view
Life is such a pain without stopping to see each eyes
Its like roses you have to enjoy each passion in side
When that moment collides with mind and heart
Nothing in your soul can keep your love apart
Join in the fun look in every eyes of a person beside
With passion and romance I bet you, you would cry
The luster of all the things to come
A bounty of life long needs to be given by just the wonders of the eyes
The blue seas reflects the different depths of our feelings
And it should become revealing
Come to your senses with ravaging hormones of lust
The sea can take you and even the reflection in the eyes of the person
The beauty is not held by one it is held by everyone
Such looks with fear for no relief
Is almost a dreadful part in our human nature
Beware of what can happen when emotions are held
Held to the core of an individual
No such thing is kindness when you find yourself in the Sea Blue Eyes
Calling in your soul by just looking
With ignorance you play around with such futile emotion
Gush away the fear and do not go insane with life so dear
The grasp of the titans comes to reveal
The evil within your heart is so obscenely noticed
You want the sea and you want those eyes to look at you with wishes
The rage in the heart are waves that cannot stop 
It pushes and pushes with no regret
The heart falters and there is only one thing in your mind
The idea of one soul to be with is the ocean 
The rifts that is trying to break to end the wants of desire
Cannot be trusted in a human lier
The beauty of man is destruction 
The beauty of women are commands
The eyes of each does not matter in the sea
Because all emotion and desire is given to those who are true
Command of a person is just one thing 
The desire to destroy is another
The Sea Blue Eyes will see no bother cause it bares it all
Even the utmost desire
To be continue.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Harlan's Holler

~ Harlan’s Holler ~
Dean Kuch ©2014
The locals say, in the light of day one can visit Harlan’s Holler, stay on the path don't incite the wrath of the man who lost his daughter. The townsfolk say, to this very day, you can hear poor Charlotte cryin.' Beneath silv'ry moon, where young lovers swoon, as she lay there, slowly dyin'... In the August heat, with tiny unshod feet, Charlotte ventured into the Holler. She soon lost her way when the light of day Gave way to midnights squalor. Ripe berries sweet for her mom to eat she'd gone there for the pickin', her bucket now full, twirling locks a' crull, the creeping darkness began to thicken. She wandered for days, to the towns dismay, poor little Charlotte could not be found. Old man Harlan yelled; damned them all to hell— then placed a curse upon the ground. No crops will grow on the ground you sow, all your livestock will surely die, you'll toil endlessly, in the end, you'll be just the same as my Charlotte lie. You'll burn in hell, you'll see, in the end, you'll be just the same as my Charlotte lie... The days dragged on under the summer sun as the child withered to dust. Fred Harlan died, Bible at his side, felled by his curse and vengeful lust. Down on Harlan's Hill you can hear them still, mournful sobs by Pa and daughter, when the moon's just right, in the dead of night, stay away from Harlan's Holler. Lest you tarry there— 'neath the moon, beware, of the curse of Harlan's Holler...


Details | Free verse | |

Now I see you, as the Blue moon

Now I see you full, my love
As the moon, the Blue moon,
I thought, I did see you;
It was the moon, the Gibbous moon.
You smiled, for me, when you were
The moon, the Crescent moon,
With your pain, on your dark,
You laughed, for me, when you were
The moon, the Half moon,
But now I know, that I saw,
Only the moon, the dark moon,
And thought it, to be,
The moon, the full moon.
©Anees Rahman


Details | Free verse | |

Dealing With Depression and Self Harm

Hey guys this isn't a poem it's more like me telling you all about myself and my life.
As you all may know from the content of my poems that I suffer from mild to severe depression. I've been depressed for a little bit over a year but it's only now      that it's really starting to set it's roots and kick in full effect. It used to just creep up on me one day I'd be happy, smiling and laughing then the next day I wouldn't want to get out of bed I'd suddenly become sad for no apparent reason at all. It would so bad to the point that I'd get excruciatingly painful migraine headaches daily during which any kind of light made my eyes hurt. If I tried to get up and walk I'd get dizzy and lose my balance there were times where I couldn't see, I couldn't eat. I was also very self conscious about my body image and weight and still am. I used to weigh 105 pounds and my doctor would tell me that I have a high metabolism and I'd hate myself for that no matter what I tried to do I couldn't gain weight. That alone would be enough to send me into a downward spiral of depression I'd try out for the football team at my school and I'd get rejected because I didn't meet the weight requirements and that would make me even more sad. Ok moving on I now weigh 120 pounds I'm still not happy with it but I accept it for now. Nowadays I get so depressed over anything literally will trigger me. I'd worry about things and then I'd obsess over it. Recently there have been times I'd obsess over things to the point that I'd get suicidal. Just recently last night me and my girlfriend had a fight and almost broke up I got so depressed about it that I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd do without her and I got extremely suicidal I did something that I hadn't done for almost a month. I self harmed. Speaking of self harm when I first started doing it I'd cut my wrists almost every night it got so bad that at the end of that first month my wrists and forearms were covered in scars. Through the times when I was extremely suicidal I did everything I could to kill myself I hung myself from the ceiling fan, I've tried to drown myself, I've slit my wrists, I've overdosed, once I've even attempted suicide at school in the restroom. Over the past months I've tried to be strong, I've tried to set a good example for my little brother and sisters, I've tried so hard but on the inside I'm just really sensitive and weak. I've just recently started thinking about reaching out for professional help.


Details | ABC | |

siting in the dark

im siting in this dark corner on my bed just crying 
i feel so sad and alone 
i rather stay in my dark room instead of  places full of light 
im scarried of the future and the past 
i dont know why i cry so much  
i just like the darkness 
siting in this darkness thinking is there some 1 out there that cares that is thinking of me who wants or am i just alone with no one 
im scaried today if i die would any 1  care i would hope so im just so sad and rather sit here in the dark.........


Details | Verse | |

Let me break

Make me forget about this,
How beautifully I was falling,
Convince me it was my mistake,
There was always no one to rely on,
And no one to fight for.

Look into my eyes again,
Speak your lies, and
Die in it.

Make me forget your face,
Your standing there with no move,
Make me forget about you,
The poor illusion,
The wall that doesn't speak,
The life without breath.
Let me break.

Don't ask me to explain.
In darkness I do stand again but
This is my zone, my home.
This is my strength.

Let me break.
Let me forget about you.


Details | Verse | |

The curse

When love was tortured
She was silent.
She was repeating words in mind.
Her eyes were looking up at heaven,
And there was no tears sign.

When love was being murdered
She was silent.
She was reminding herself of
All the moments when
She was smiling,
When happiness was real for her.
There was no pain.

When the blood appeared, and
Her last breath was gone,
Thunderstorm and rain came out
From heaven,
Darkness was called to go back to earth.
God cursed people and said:
“You will pay for your sin forever
Without understanding
You will feel nothing
Believing it is real”.


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

Holy books says it all
You taught me how to crawl
This will never change
Never ends never fades
Dear God where you are?
Shattered piece of childish dreams
This will never change
Never ends never fades.

I can fight for all my life,
Not broken, not broken inside
Never be so frustrated,
Not going to commit suicide.

Fuc*ing faith will fall,
Mortals will stand tall
Hell and heaven are all the same
Live your life, don't die in vain

Only you and I can make 
A better world for tomorrow
Have faith in yourself
And wipe off the tears of sorrow

Make me scream, Make me cry
I'll never fail to try.
This night's has an end
No pain will remain


Details | I do not know? | |

My Countless Wishes -Part 2-

I wish
To demolish my sorrow…
I wish
To forget the despair and gleefully grow…
To forgive and seek the challenges of tomorrow…
My downfalls and my failures…
I wish
To disappear
I wish
I had no fear…
For God’s near…
I wish
I could be a cheetah in the grassland
I wish
To store all of my energy for an evening run…I’d never give up in the process
I wish
My whole spirit could simply sponge in God’s nature and make great progress
And I truly wish
I could stick to my daily plans of building a sturdier relationship with God 
I wish
I had the merriness in my life especially during hardships…

My countless wishes
Brings me down to my weakest point…
My countless wishes
Overthrows me…but it helps me in the long run…

I wish I could forgive 
My daily regrets and breakdowns
I wish I could forget
My despondency – embracing my frowns 

I wish
To live a life without error
Without a care
I wish
To be flawless when I make my everyday decisions
And scare away 
The darkness that tries to make me give up
I wish
I had more time to overcome…
These waves of emotions

My countless wishes
Brings me down to my disheartened state…
My countless wishes
Are like walls from every direction closing in on me…
But it’s a convenient tool in the future…

I wish
I could be live in someone else’s shoes…
But what good would it do?
Would it lead me to the narrow pathway?
Would it inspire me to push all of my doubts away? 
Would it push away the blues?
Could He give me any clues?


Details | Free verse | |

Your Words

Get a life, she said
Dark thoughts ring through my head
I am nothing—for that is what you have made me
Tears streaming from my eyes
All the past happiness—the lies
Words do matter . . . they really do
They stick to you like glue
I cannot stop sobbing
For the words ring true
I am truly nothing—thicker than lead
The next rhyme will probably be the word “dead”
Damn this mind . . . damn this head
I cannot escape the sorrow
She held it all in
And it bursts now from her quivering vocals
Crybaby, she said
Oh, but you do not know all that I hold in
But you cannot blame them for not understanding
The fault is all my own
I guess the next word to rhyme is “alone”
Wish they could be something more meaningful
Something giving, inspiring
But I cannot help this—I am rotting!
I hate to be wrong but you are right
What’s the use of this sick denial and spite?
What’s the use of trying to live this life,
When I am looking for a completely wrong purpose?
Finding myself downright worthless. . .
I hate being right. . .
But sometimes . . . I really am
And it your words you have spoken
That make it the truth

Your words leave a shameful legacy
Like a sick memory,
Like a regret. . .

March 15, 2013


Details | Free verse | |

Love Restores Peace

At 8:30 AM,
"Get up, LAURA! Charlie! Wake up...Robert...Wake up."
No reply...no reply...just ignore my wake up calls...yell at me all you want
You make me cry...cry...just shatter me like glass...you place me in the trash, but I still feel this discontent
Deep inside of me...
There's a sea of remorse swirling around me...
At 12:15 AM,
"Hey Laura!"
No reply...no reply...
"What are you doing?"
I just want to cry...a river...why?
She still ignores me...now I'm feeling the anxiety...
She still jokes around with me, but I feel so angry...and so empty...
She's texting her friends again...I must talk to her sometime
She still doesn't answer my calls...she doesn't care to wipe off my grime
Sponging inside of me...
I guess I'm left with my chores for today
My heart is swelling up in dismay...and my sky turns to gray
And I pray...for relief and I just want to say...
I love my sisters and brothers, but they truly don't care for me...or at least that's what I think till this very day
This lonesome feeling sufficates me...
Go ahead and ignore me, sister
You just added another blister
In my mouth, my hopelessness avalanches all over the ground
You make me frustrated...and now my head spins round and round
And I feel bound...
By stress and torment! 
Go ahead and neglect my voice
My heart is seeping out misery...pumping with fret...
while you text your friends and rejoice
In my head, my painstaking regrets torture me profoundly
You don't care to listen - live your life without me
My soul is left in the cold...
Oh! Go ahead! Let me mold...mold...
I worry about you, sister...
But you left me to dry like glue...you made me suffer
don't beg to differ...
Go ahead! Blow fire in my direction...
I warn you...you don't want to see an eruption
I don't want to be ensnared by my corruption... 
Please God...pick me off from the ground...
and show me some direction
Or I'll be broken down like the titanic...
And You don't wanna see me panic...
Panic...
At 1:00 AM,
I decide to pray to God for protection...
I pray...I pray...
I wait for His reply..........................
He helped me fight 
my depression wars
He unchained me from the cage...
and taught me how to fly
He cherished me...
He understood me 
and He still does till this day...
He healed my sores...
And He doesn't ignore my calls! 
He makes me feel content 
even in the midst of hardships - 
I pray...I wait...I cry...
For His comfort daily...
to nourish me 
when I feel ignored
Or when I'm stabbed in loathe...
I pray that Your peace be restored
In our family once more.
I wait
For peace
To fix the broken glass...to fix the emotions breaking us all
I pray
For the chaos to cease
To make the whole world rejoice...to encourage us to stand tall
Will love make us whole again?


Details | I do not know? | |

Friend

Friend where are you?
are we playing 
Hide and seek?
did you drown?
there’s no sea.
You’re close
I can here
You breath.
So close there’s a heartbeat.
Shadows
In the mirror 
Friend, is that you 
I screamed!
There you are
I reached out 
To touch you
But it was only 
A reflection 
A reflection of me.
11/24/07


Details | Haiku | |

Death

The Dead, Dying... Death
The visitor that appalls
Even when foreseen


Details | Couplet | |

Hollow Puppet

Hollow puppet dancing on her strings,
Fear, fear please don't trim her wings.
Crumple down to hard dirt floor,
Never, never to dance any more.

Limbs this way, that way thrown;
No movement truly her own.
Dark, empty all around,
No purpose, value anywhere found.
Meaning escaped,
Fear evaporate.

Hollow puppet dancing on her strings,
Begging, desperate, please trim her wings.
Pain, pain go away,
Let me dance no more this way.


Details | Free verse | |

Little One

Fields black and sundered so,
Mists of tears, forgot in woe,
Showers of rain, standing still,
Skin as white as snow,

Passers by wander not a sight,
Pay no heed to such a blight,
Showers of rain, lost in ill,
Wandering each... stone cold night,

Forgot, abandoned, this lowly one,
Hope is lost, all yet none,
Showers of rain, brights forsaken,
Misbegotten hope, now that all is done.


Details | Rhyme | |

I'm Ready, The End

Stripped like a slave I have no freedom
No rights inside this enclosed life
Its starring me in the eyes what do I do with this knife
Dropping it as it crashes to the cold tiled floor
I fall right behind it as darkness surrounded me with a closed door
No point to scream and shout I don’t see any future that can restore

I crawl on my knees for your liking
Bruised skin and open wounds drenched in alcohol as it begins to sting
Swinging back and forth on the rope of life a tight grip I cling
Letting go to a tragic death I know ill be under Gods wing

Shot with bullets and shot with what we call a dart
Living along side of me but were you really with me from the start
Saying those spiteful and hurtful words I pushed you away and soon I fear we will part
I paint my life on a canvas which now has many dark spots but it’s still classified as art
Feeling left in the rain struck by lightning shaken by thunder you can’t see that I have a 
bleeding heart

The one day that was given to me from God the one and only
I still sat in a corner starring through a double platted glass all lonely
There were false tellings that day
Learned not to bite off more than I can chew because I don’t live the life that of a buffet

Sorry I was such a disappointment to you
Thinking my life is perfect and everything is fine I say “if you only knew”
Not asking for the wind to come but with no control it blew
Life is not a game in which you can jus undue
I wish I could because I use to look out the window now starring at a wall is my view

I once had a heart but it's gone and now there is a hole
Every painful beat I am paying a new toll
Down in the trash of an empty cold park I stroll
Living has become a mystery the only thing real is my soul
It's dark and cold where I am and he left me I don’t know who is in control
He is not God it was someone else in which was the thief that stole

Standing in a corner I thought you were suppose to be my number one friend
You said you didn’t but at times I believe you did pretend
There is nothing left to buy…for my life has a price thou shall spend
I am ready in which a destiny I can attend
Like a sad song or a sad movie...life doesn’t get better until the end

© Jeremy Fennell


Details | Rhyme | |

leavin you behind

im goin on with my life
and leavin you behind
i love you still
but i will not go crawling back
you gave me alot of love
but also heartache and sorrow
maybe itll b better tomorrow
you hurt me bad
and it used to make me sad
and then it changed
i got mad
youll always be my first love
you used to be really special
and finally im goin on with my life without you
and leavin you behind


Details | Free verse | |

Quiet Waters

Streams of blue fluid 
Flows downward 
As fragile carcasses decay 
Without a peep of a sound

We’re in the brink of disaster… 

Who invited such fear and anguish?
Who could lead us to quiet waters?

We bleed…
Polluting the waters below us… 
Trickling down the mountain
To our filthy feet…

Cleansing the sin off of our skin
But, it’s tangled from deep within…

The eeriness breaks 
The hearts of a thousand strangers
They all fall away powerlessly… 
Into the chambers of death 

Danger is lurking in every corner…
Pursuing its evil plans
To cut down our hopes…
Growing like crops… 
Rising rapidly –  
It never stops

Dreams of misfortune still 
Rapes our minds,
Plaguing our happiness… 
Consuming the darkness…

We’re sprawling on the ground…
We’re crawling like infants…
Veering briskly like serpents…

Who will set our souls free 
From suppression?  

Who will preserve our hearts?
Don’t prey upon our 
Guiltless lives… 
We’re in complete agony… 
Does He consider 
Our prayers  
Of support and nourishment? 

We scream…
Breaking the repulsive solitude…

Encourage us to keep on 
Trekking toward Your light

Where’s Your path?

You rinse off all of the sorrow 
Giving us a ecstatic tomorrow 

The weeping ceases…
While the corpses 
Tear into 
Blood-spattered 
Pieces…  

The faith of a couple of people
Strengthens us…keeps us motivated…
Not captivated…
In misery…
We’re reaping our 
Ecstasy…   
Leading us to peace and fortune 
Keeping us accustomed
To Your purifying spirit…
Keeping us away from 
Calamity… 

We’re hungry… 
Our demise is close at hand…
Closing in on us abruptly 
Like an obscure cave…

Rescue us from affliction –  
Embracing downhearted clouds…

Those wretched clouds…

Brought us rain when we asked for bread…

Those merciless clouds…

Spewed out scorching fire when we asked for relief…

Remember our supplications… 
Appalling lightning’s daring to strike us  
Out of cruel vengeance 
Out of sheer amusement 

Don’t even attempt to weaken us
We’re blossoming in joy…
We’re under cover… 
You can’t manipulate us 
Like a subtle toy 

We’re praying for
Quiet waters

Offer the deceased 
A second chance

Don’t disown 
Our broken lives

We’re not alone…

We’re just waiting until
The quiet, glistening waters
Gratefully arrives…


Details | Free verse | |

Relax

At my temples, my mind starts to ache
and starts to wander away from the sweet
sights and sounds of reality.
My heart starts pounding,
like a headhunter's drum-
and I see a cloth of RED
fill mine very own eyes with ENVY!
See nothing but red, I see my soul
turn black (at that very hour,)
the telephone rings,
and snaps me back into reality.
I answer, "Hello?"
It was reality,
knocking me back down on my knees;
holding my gut.
bleeding from my mouth, nose and eyes,
I feel myself relax...

I lay back with a weak and weary heart,
I light a cigarette and smoke,
clouded lungs,
like a clouded mind of cluelessness
and I take reality for what it really is,
a joke.
I laugh in amusement,
like a simple child at a circus,
and I relax
and take every single last blow.

11-11-2013


Details | Rhyme | |

The Wonder of You

Seeing through the eyes of the misfit and lonely Hearts explode from the fear of it all Propelled by failure I shake with fright Wondering where will my head lie tonight? Under the clay or on top of your thighs? In a cold shallow grave our spirits arise Insides rot with the test of ones heart Craving and hunger, what kept us apart? Broken down by cancer's seclusion Casting out love born free of illusion Pounding out beats until the fat lady sings Leaving this place, forgoing his wings Who will cry for the suicide kings? Judge if you dare some comfort it brings Forget him we will, written off a lost cause Too close for comfort he’s broken our laws Who cries out for the suffering souls? Exhausted, defeated, never reaching their goals Torn apart by the presence of pride Their honor forsaken and ripped from their hide Pray for those who dream from above Their lives cut short by the absence of love Pray for me as I hold on to my last... Words for the wonder of you


Details | I do not know? | |

Character

Your character deceives me
Always misleads me
One minute I’m your friend
The next minute I’m your foe
The thought of you
Makes my liver quiver
My heart shivers.
You were my confidant
Now I’m your adversary
We had a good friendship
Now you’re not even worth, being an associate
I wanna say goodbye…but I can’t
I’ll never forget you
The gleeful person you were
And the impudent creature you have become.
08/15/05


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

Have you ever been so angry?
That you can’t express hurt?
When the highlight of your day
Becomes your downfall.

I’ve flirted with disaster
Destruction became part of me.
I have no one to blame 
For I am my own misery.
05/23/08


Details | I do not know? | |

A Hollow Shell

a hollow shell
of tangled synapses
sparked into gradual madness
which drowns out the truths of the day
as the mind reeks of the rotten sad moments
that swirl in the rancid soup of forgotten dreams
dreams that once traced a gentle path of innocence
dreams that reached for pure love’s tender touch
dreams now paralysed but once vivaciously alive
what became of those fresh dreams and hopes
as they lie mustily on dusty bookshelves
torn into shreds by time’s fine scimitar
devoid of the touch of raw passion
when all that remains of love is
a hollow shell


Details | I do not know? | |

the Dark One

There is a stranger leaning against the light post
And a black cat on the stoop.
A shadow in the window
And a menacing laugh swirling in the breeze.
Everything I see is in black and white
And there are no flowers or smiles to be seen.
What is this place, and what has happened here?
But I know the answer.
This is my home, after it was taken over 
by the Dark One.
He has banished all color,
forbidden all happiness,
and emptied our pocketbooks.
So now we, who were once happy and employed
are no miserable and unemployed,
With just barely enough pennies to pay the bills.
But the Dark One doesn't care;
He'll continue to take over,
until we are all on our knees in the street
Begging for mercy and lower taxes.
Because we all hate the Dark One
who has intruded our lives and broken into our homes.
The Dark One is most unwelcome.
The Dark One is the Great Depression.


Details | Free verse | |

Skin Deep

I stare blankly ahead of me;
stare into the cracked soul of the being who used to reflect a smile
- the girl I used to love unconditionally.
That love evades me now.

Where has it gone?

I search desperately, but I fear it is lost forever
- lost forever in the turbulent streams of my --self--consciousness;
lost in the dark recesses of my mind,
in the shrunken cockles of my heart.

I fear I may never find it.

But surely nothing is ever truly gone;
surely it is simply hiding from me
- playing a twisted game of hide and seek - 
or creeping in the shadows of my despair until it is needed again.

I need it now.

Words cannot express how deeply, how utterly, I want to love that person;
to see something of worth or merit in those dark eyes,
to smile back when those pale contours
find their pride again.

But somehow, I just can't see that face the same way.

All I see are lips chapped from saying "no"
- from constantly repenting sins they will soon commit again and again.
All I see are those blank, empty eyes staring back at me
- the cracked soul within beating herself bloody to be freed.

I wish  I could see it - I wish I could set that girl free - but somehow I can't find how.

I want to see it again:
the eyes so full of promise and hope that they blossom,
the smile of a girl who knows the world will keep spinning.
the face of a girl who may be chipping away piece by piece, but is still trying.

But you can't see what just isn't there.

I'd like to think that with enough wishing, that face will return;
that somehow the withering girl - bound by her own will - may find the sun again.
That against all odds, the cracks will begin to fade - the splintered child will heal -
and maybe, eventually, time will turn back and her smile will find its way through the pain.

I'd like to think that miracles are a stones-throw away -  that all you need is a little bit of pixie dust.
I'd like to believe that love does conquer all - much as the world would like to prove otherwise. 
I'd like to believe that, beneath the face of a girl with only bad days left, there hides another girl.

I'd like to believe that inside those soulless eyes,
buried deep within a chasm of depression,
hiding, timid, in the shadows,
there lies another face:

A face that, maybe,
I can love
- or at least smile back at in the mirror.


Details | Free verse | |

Screw It

One night as we pulled into the complex
Over the bumpy Colonial Arms exit,
Taj was sitting out on the brick stoop
With a single light blinking over his serious face
His mouth encased in a smoky cloud
And a single flame at the end of his cigarette
Tapping into an empty
Heineken bottle

I opened the door, and my slender leg
Lengthened on slick black heel
As I made my way to him
Knowing that the night should be over
Knowing that I had no plans to end it

A couple of blinks and words later,
I’m pressed to the bathroom wall
And I’m losing it all
Clothes, my red lipstick, my sanity
“Screw it” already sealed my destiny
And though some would say
“You’re there for the ride”
I’d so no, I’m just trying to survive

I’m scrambling for a light in dark places
The night’s not over, but I’d prefer to be
An alcoholic fool to find it

And before long, Taj knows what I’ve done
And he calls and mocks my pride 
curses my god, insults my father
And I try to hold it together
My red chest in fistfuls of my shaking hands
My vulnerable bitten lips
Unable to sob through the shock
Of my stupid heart, and the way
I acted on all my misgivings

This isn’t living
But it’s a fact I’ll forget when I go
And screw it up again

With a friend, with a stranger, with a man 
with his fingers crossed behind his back
I have to laugh
When this morning, a year from then
I find myself collapsed and chapped
Sobbing into an already tear stained floor

A fool has nothing to lose but his life
And tonight, there’s not much between me
And the knife
That would take me there
And as blood drips to the end of my golden hair
Maybe I will find home
And maybe my dream will let me murder the man
Who stole it from me

Screw it.


Details | Free verse | |

Blessed Breeze

Something feels wrong –
the atmosphere
 Feels dry 
upon my skin
I remember 
the summertime 
and 
its blessed breeze 
– it kept
On flowing…
blowing…
bestowing…
jovial love 
for the renewal 
of your heart… 
Once bleeding…
Beating…
 from deep within
Accept me 
For who I am…
Accept me…
Do you ever ponder
About the good times
We’ve shared?
Have you
Erased it
From your mind 
Forever? 
I wish 
You could rise 
like the sun 
when the dawn 
comes rolling in 
The fog 
Surrounds us… 
With gloominess
There’s no need
To feel my stress
Remain
Stress-free
For eternity 
Dread 
Is caressing 
your soul
Don’t let it
DEVOUR YOU.
YOUR.
Life. 
Is. 
Meaningful. 
Believe me…
Please…
Keep it 
at ease…
Cast away the sorrow
Flick it off
into space
I’ll be there
To run the race
With you 
So wipe away 
The blue liquid…
blinding your eyes
DON’T.
Be. 
Afraid…
Don’t be burdened
By the shame
Sway with me
In the wind…
Where peace
Grows on and on and on…
Forever – 
Until the demise
Of the dawn 
Let the clouds
Drift away 
And sleep without
Disturbance… 
And don’t forget
To pray for 
The blessed breeze
Let me help you
Track down the worries
That try to 
BREAK.
YOU.
Don’t let it get to you
No matter what

Your body is warm
Your eyes glisten 
And reflect
Fascinating light. 
Shimmering
With 
All 
Of
Its
Might. 
Something feels right…
AT LAST! 


Details | Rhyme | |

What Lurks Within

Too much I am inquiring
I don’t hear a response
I use to be inspiring
Now the beast haunts

Its deep within
Unsure of the size
I’m afraid I’ll sin
In the last of my cries

It’s a little scary
And kind of tough
My body I barely carry 
And my happiness I bluff

You depict my fate
You hold my hand through
Let’s set a date
To bid adieu 

I’ll fight till the end
I’ll hold my head high
I won’t bend
I’ll fight to see a blue sky


Details | Free verse | |

Atrocity

 Landscape of Hiroshima about eight-thirty a.m.                                                               After the death angel Enola Gay turns away                                                                 she gave birth to the little boy as fiery rolling smoke starts clearing                             Etched upon a wall a boy and girl playing with a ball                                                          Those there could not see it for their eyes were melted                                                      A city meshed with death blood iron and rock                                                                    A three year old boy partially dripping skin cry’s for mom                                                   But a twelve year old girl looks unharmed but within days                                         Poisoned by death’s light she withers away                                                                    As you pull back from this horrific seen                                                                            It only magnifies for a hundred thousand plus                                                                   Stench smoldering flesh mingled with everything                                                          The land of sun lays beneath a blanket of death                                                                A city leveled by little boys fierce foul breath                                                                 And then aftermath for years later                                                                             Countless children die or are born defective   


Details | Free verse | |

LOST down a Dark path

Years i felt it, there was know way out of the abiss, no point in giving a shout, who would hear it and who would care? so alone in the world just as if it was bare. 

My cries went un heard, no comfort i felt, alone to dwell with the cards i had been dealt, 
years of waiting with dark thoughts in my head, untill the same dark path led me to the light instead. 

The feeling of comfort knowing i was saved, my problem was someone elses i could be knowones slave, i thank GOD for saving me from that dark lonely time, knowone else could of reached me, not even myown mind. 

Now i walk in the light never to be alone an i seek to help others in the same way i was shown, so go in peace my brothers and sisters and hold your head high! 
. . never forget in times of hardship GODS right by your side.


Details | Free verse | |

Where I'm I

Where I'm I? 
What is this awful place?
Where hope exists only in intangible dreams.
Every futile attempt at happiness
Is a guaranteed success at sadness.

Where I'm I? 
What is this awful place?
Where the truth is never what it seems, 
And faith is replaced by endless doubt
Because disappointment is found in every route.

Where I'm I? 
What is this awful place? 
Where silence drowns even the loudest screams.
Where darkness cannot be pierced by even the brightest light, 
Plunging the world into an endless night.


Details | Verse | |

Needless

It's easier to break yourself
In tiny pieces
To show them how you suffer.
It's easier to cut your hands and
See your blood flowing out of
Your body filling the silence which is
Killing you.
It's easier to say goodbye,
Pretend like you don't care and
Always smile, and smile all over again
Because it is nothing that
They want to know.

It's easier to walk out the door,
Easier to disappear when
You feel nothing holding you
To anything that in the end is
Nothing at all,
Especially all of them who were
Trying to be a part of your life
Occupying your mind and heart,
Steeling what was real once inside of you
But then they were all gone.

It's easier you think but
You don't know a thing.
Nobody is going to show you the real
That you pretend.
It's easier to say but
There is the hardest out there.
To prove you wrong
When it is needless
I'm not going to.

Because there is no sense
To teach the dead to feel the life.


Details | Suzette Prime | |

BURIED PAST EXHUMED

BURIED PAST EXHUMED

Today is a gift and always called present
Yesterday has passed and referred to as past
Nobody knows tomorrow and it’s always anonymous
My past was dead and long buried in the casket
All memories and remains six feet beneath the soil
I came in the present and lived in the present
I never knew the past, so I lived ignorant of its history
Not that I didn’t care to ask but what will I ask?
Something is wrong in the present that dates back to the past
This wrongful thing is connected to the future.

Today is the present and the present is a bad gift
The problems got too enormous; I capsized in it amidst storms
The wreck was too bad a worst; I got lost in it
Deep down the ocean of confusion; I lay amidst sharks
To the everyday of everyday; I strived to always survive to strive
There is always hope, and I hoped for a better tomorrow
While still hoping deep in the sea; sharks made my heart their abode
Continually attacking me and slowly draining my life away
To every solution I sought; no answer and no help
To the misery of the present; the worst awaits in future.

Death got our life on the edge
Every tight cliff too slippery to hold
Even in death; not all memories are dead
So far there is life, the truth always surfaces
At that unexpected moment, the truth got disvirgned
My dead past was exhumed with all the pains and sorrow
So wretched was the remains it drew blood amidst painful tears
At that moment, the symbols of the present had its meaning
It pains I knew now but it’s good to know how to tackle the present
Exhumed is exhumed; bury the remains again; the memories lives on...........

										…Lordvip…
			


Details | I do not know? | |

Senses

Love is pain
That’s the only thing
I feel.
Not even a cure 
Can make me heel.
Rain is tears
The only thing 
I see.
When it’s sunny
There’s no light 
In my day.
Everything good
Just seem to fade away.
Air is fear
The only thing
I breathe
Surrounded with silence
In a big crowd…
Nobody’s here
There is only me.
01/25/08


Details | Rhyme | |

My Room, Dark and Black

My room, dark and black,
My nightmares come back,
My past, won't leave me,
I need someone to free me,
Deep hurt, my pain,
All the regret makes me insane,
My eyes, wet,
The reasons why, I'll never forget,
My arm, bloody,
My heart, broken,
On each breath, I'm choking,


Details | Rhyme | |

Friendly Monster

My name is Casey, I am just a little girl
One day a grown-up shattered my world
He was our neighbor he seemed so kind
I had no idea the evil in his dark mind
He'd give me candy and buy me neat toys
And show me how to beat up on the boys
My Mommy and Daddy trusted him so
They had no clue who he was though
Then one day as I walked past his place
I disappeared, gone, without a trace
My parents searched, he helped them look
Never knowing the treasure he already took
I cried and begged for him to not hurt me
But he never responded to my desperate plea
He locked me up in this deep dark hole
I prayed to Jesus to protect my soul
I miss my parents, I want them so bad
I miss my bed and my big brother Chad
I hear someone coming, please be Mommy
Please stop him before he really hurts me
I hear a loud click, I see a shiny pole
I see the white smoke fill up this hole
I see a bright light, no longer is it dim
The monster who murdered me was.....him


Details | Free verse | |

Love's Lies






Like a warm knife through the butter of the soul, 
The insect that scratches the ear drums as we watch love's lies lay eggs of waste
Till they're in the mouth of your mirror's reflection of fear
least someone should lie themselves into a care of this placebo of lust.
 Till eyes turn against nature to the arid desert of exhaust
the emotional orgy to the mental climax of the unreal.
Descriptions of the void so vivid stirs a chuckle refusing to be hydrated with tears
Cynical text mid composition stirs the stomachs dragons....sighs
O how love's lies have caught us.


Details | Free verse | |

Poverty grows

Poverty.
Hardship and suffering
all behind society's eyes
raised by the ghetto
slums cracked lights out
scavenges for life
its gone. 
The same face in all places
no father figures
can't support, gone
moms fiend for crack
the silent killer
hard to take, reality hurts
the youngest
nothing lives within him
unloved, felt like a colorless weed
wants to develop
a beautiful rose
society wont let
its a cruel world
only the streets
resist the temptations.
Death laid outside his doorstep
waiting to grab the innocent beneath 
Gang life sleeps in his thoughts
trying to fight the opposition
a deadly current war.
Getting older
need to make ends meat  
but how, never given a chance
selling drugs only option 
need to feed his children
and in his mind
nobody cares
people just stare.
Treated as the fungus of earth
and all this money
soldiers dying, the devils agreement
army of weeds, never stop regrowing
power making more poverty
not spent on the poor
only used for wars
its sad.
A war on drugs
to fight them off
but they made them
dirty tricks, crooked 
and deceived
and still we don't change this
mankind has the say
not the rich.
Children screaming, not heard
tears not felt
like a raindrop with no splat
it always keeps raining
in his eyes.
People so caught up in the power
like a wolf fighting for its food
wraps around the minds 
changing ambition to greed
Just share 
then i think things would be fair
for all the bad acts
its countless.
Going through his mind 
all the times he cried
number of life's he lost
early deceased
in the penitentiary
trapped left to die
a fly under a glass.
Certain peoples cause
an act with no redemption 
soon to burn in hell
tried to deceive us
saying they were against us
causing pains and misery.
A secret war
an epidemic
propaganda in its finest form 
defying the innocent
minds controlled 
eyes turned, no notice
no justice.
It goes on and keeps on growing.


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

The best things in life aren't things. So here's my gift back to you. Although the way to predict the future is to Invent it. I'm sorry we Invented this "relationship". However tough times never last but tough people do.             11/2/08


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

I wish I could 
Go back to being five.
When life was easier
And every thing was 
ABC’s and one two three’s.
Now I’m older
Constantly 
Getting caught up 
Into lies and deceit.
Little did I know
That even the sweet ones
Will come and go.
And I hold on
To where I don’t belong.
Reaching out for a hand
That isn’t there.
Resting my head 
In the depths of despair.
03/01/09


Details | Free verse | |

Everyone's Gone

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to look up to...not one...
Not one will be kind enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the debris
There's no one there to save me...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
I guess I'll find my way out of this maze
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to dawn upon me

Everyone's gone
I'm dealing with so much trauma 
I'm watching for any signs of support...
Hear my echoes of pain...
It drives me insane...
Catch me before I fall off the cliff...

Everyone's gone
I'm all skin and bones
I'm trapped like a hunted animal
The predator took a bite into me...
Don't just watch me suffer...
Deserted in this lonesome state

Everyone's gone
I'm kicked around like a soccer ball 
Hear me as I call...
Help me to stand tall

Help me... 
Reach up to the sky
To feel the coolness seep through me
Help me...
To be inspired to write more uplifting songs
Help me think more positively - help me wave g'bye
Help me...
Forgive me for all of my wrongs...

Everyone's gone
I'm a screwed-up building
I need you to be my backbone 
Straighten me up...help me to be stiff like a soldier
About to enter another horrifying war
Support me today...
And stick with me tomorrow!

I want to let go of the past memories...
Scaring away my happy moments and delights 
I want to smear away the blasphemies…
Obliterating my blissful days and nights

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to depend on...not one...
Not one will be brave enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the city
There's no one to show me the jolly sun...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
Fine… I'll find a way to get out of this nightmare 
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to give me strength instead of fear 


Details | I do not know? | |

The Blessed Paladin

The time is coming
the dead will soon rise
and devour your family
before you own eyes.

The forgotten wizard
tired of a life in caves
made a dark pact for
the power he craves.

Zombie and vampires from their grave.
A lone warrior stands,
Whos destiny is to save.
With sword and shield he places his faith.

With a stab and a hack
he fought the beasts back
but he is hurt badly
and all fades to black

stone walls and little light
he woke with a fright
and tried to stand in vain
he was hurt and fell to the pain.

He was in a chapel to the wise god
where he prayed to him for help
he was granted shining armor and sword
His mighty god made him to smite the whelp

The undead were strong
but he was a hoss
he killed them all
and showed demons who's boss

blade in hand he made his way
to the massive dark tower
where the necromancers stay

He rallied the soldiers
The barbarians and thieves
the mages and assassins
armed to their sleeves.

He made his own army 
their might was astounding
the battle began
with each strike resounding

They fought with all their hearts
stabbing and sliceing 
and putting to use their magical arts.
put an end to most of the plauge

But the leader of this blight
in the very tip top
made another demonic rite.
he killed the whole army except for one.

The blessed one stood immune to it all
his armor scratched, his shield long lost,
his sword bloodied alone he stood tall
The Paladin from now he would be known

The wizards fear stood true. 
he cast his spell to little effect
he was soon run through
his soul then was claimed.

Beaten and wounded in the worst way.
he walk out of the tower into morning light
he fell to his knees and began to pray
for his army, his brothers, his men
may the gods above to take them all in

Again all things went black
he was gone this time
there was no coming back
he sat next to the gods in the sky

everyone rejoiced and everyone cried
the darkness was gone and many lived
and just as many had died

They saved the day
and yet lived on
in a way
the songs sang and tales told

The paladin was brave
the paladin was bold
the paladin was a savior
for the young and the old


Details | Rhyme | |

Astray

Day by day.
Another look at the gray.
Slowly drifting astray.
Watch as I decay.
Shall we replay?


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Blame

Blame. The very word creates acid on every 
tongue that speaks it. its dark and clumped,
forming a giant ball of black sticky goo.
 It layers itself on the skin of every body that
is blamed for a wrong they  
did not do. a crime that they did not commit. 
It's a song that impales those who play the keys 
on a piano. A morbid song that slays the
hearts of lovers in the night. Its a siren who sings 
like the lark of the morning sun, shining her wings, 
revealing the diamond glow they bring upon
 themselves, she sings her out of tune lyrics 
luring men towards her grace. disguising her ugliness, 
with an appalling attractive face. 
She is blame. Luring men into her claws, caressing 
them sweetly, cursing and confusing and corrupting
 their minds; bringing shame upon them. 
Such trickery is a mask, a dark veil that covers the eyes 
and prevents the sight. blocking out any sort 
of light. she comes out of the dark and tortured night, bringing
 with her, her dark fame. For every 
human male knows her as strega; fulfilling her dark quest is a 
shame, yet, it is she who does not  
hold in her ;cold, raw claws; the blame.



Details | Free verse | |

True Reality

Why is it
I am always wrong?
Something
I have always done?
Why is it
I am 
Never good enough
In your eyes
In challenging times?

How many times
Do I have to say
“I love You?”
What will it take
To convince
That mind 
And 
Heart 
Of yours?

What can I say
That will ease 
This jealousy
And 
Resentment
You feel towards me
When drinking 
Too much booze
Killing what brain cells
Are left
In that stubborn 
Head of yours!

How long 
Will it take
For you 
To believe in me?
For I know
I am a fool 
Staying here, with you!
Feeling desperate
Lost and lonely
Dreams squashed
Emotionally drained
When ‘we’ need to pull together
In union ship
To make 
This bond strong
Between us!

'Uniting as One’'

'Love Conquering All'

“Well!”
“So, I am told!”

I love you more
Than this
Arguing and fighting!
But 
You refuse to understand
The love I have for you

My head 
Tells me to stay with you
But
My heart knows
I cannot!
For
I have asked you 
To be kind to me
I have asked
You to open up 

Your anger and rage
Continues growing
Out of control
Taking over
Like
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 
Burning bridges
Being ruthless
Always
Out for the kill!

I need to break away!
I need to clear my head!
I need to experience
Love and longevity
True togetherness
With 
The one’s I love!
My heart needs to experience
‘Healthy Love’
My heart deserves the best!
You now
Belong in my past
I am no longer the person
You once knew me, to be

Your insecurities
Your inner demons 
Far bigger
Than any of the love
You choose to acknowledge 
Or 
Feel from me!

You can believe this 
To be true
If nothing else!

“Love thy self”

Share
Without personal gain
Being 
Your Primary Motive!
Know Love 
Be Love, in Action!

Be honest
Have empathy now
As
I cut these cords
Of emotional bondage
That 
Bind us together 
True Love 
No longer 
Our foundation!

I stand on my own
Knowing
I have learnt the lessons
You have come to teach
I now know
What love isn't!
“I thank you”
For showing me this!

My illusions of love
Blinding me
Colouring my experiences
Revealing
Only what 
'I Wanted Us To Be'
Not
‘True Reality’


Details | ABC | |

throw me in the dark blue sea

loving with my heart only to be told i am not the one
loving with my soul 
loving with my all

why even love at all
seeing you do not love me 
the good times you remember no more
thrown away into the dark blue sea

the times we shared and you said you treasured
through thick and thin and bad weather 
we weathered the storm together

now it is as you do not know me
also throw me into the dark blue sea


Details | Free verse | |

1937

Madrid it is a hot and sad place.
Filled once with music and pretty women
now filled with bombs blasting on street corners
and old women hovering over their dead husbands.
Madrid was once a place of love and culture.
Love was full through every hotel lobby
to every small cafe, love was all around.
Now, nothing but abandoded buildings
inhabited by rats and broken dreams.
The hotel lobbies once home to rich folk in tuxedos
drinking expensive champagne and dancing,
now filled with young boys bleeding from bullet wounds
and burn't to the bone.
Madrid once a home to life
now a home to death and war.
Fellow Spaniard fighting fellow Spaniard
in a Civil War between life and greed.
Life was all good and well
till 1937 came around.


Details | Rhyme | |

LEFTovers

Left in my own thoughts Tarnished forever through nightmares Pierce me with your passions…tangle me in your knots You left me…I have no choice, but to cry… I’m breaking by the seams I drink in the sorrow… I spew up regret… I cannot drink any further I drink and drown myself – unable to hope for tomorrow I’m left in my own thoughts…I cannot walk any longer I recall my past decisions…I’m swallowed up by the echoes of fear I’m not your valuable merchandise! Don’t seek me – you wanted your dreams to come true and peace to draw near Don’t count on me – I’m not wise! I’m swallowed up by the churning sea… Leading me to my own demise I drink in the sorrow… I puke up resentment…I’m upset and cannot go on with life I douse myself in my misfortune – no one listens to me… No one catches me before I wallow… Pick me up from the murky waters Lift me up from the gutters Make me spotless and leave me the leftovers Dress me up and hand me some covers I’m trying to piece together my fragmented thoughts I can’t see a happy ending in this scene – Preserve my notions in Your thoughts and save them like leftovers… Oh, but my thoughts are thrown in the trash like rotten leftovers – left unseen Tarnished forever through nightmares My foul ideas don’t have a structure – they’re just… Tangled up knots


Details | Verse | |

Work and Play

When will I ever have time for fun
It feels as if it has been a century since I have seen the sun
I work all day,
Sometimes all night
I am so tired of this endless cycle already
And it is just begun
Will I ever have time again for fun?
For smiles, and the sun?
They say if you work hard,
Than you play hard
Work and play
And work and play
Will that help take the pain away?
Probably not, guess I’ll just go smoke some pot
What can I do?
What can I say?
That will help this pain go away?
I’ve taken all the pills
And done all the drugs
But still my secrets are swept under the rug
What can I do
When no one else is like you.
But now, I am not playing at all
I feel like all I do is fall
Or maybe just give up too easily.
Sometimes my thoughts are just like an infectious disease
The world doesn't see what they do to me
Am I happy, or 
Am I sad?
Why do I get so very mad.
Do you see the light?
No, not yet.
But one day it’ll shine,
Shine happily upon  I 


Details | I do not know? | |

Tortured Soul

Eyes look into the mirror
Expecting to see truth
But only emptiness is reveled

Words whispered into the night
Echo back screaming
In desperation to be heard

Arms reach out for comfort
Expecting to hold
But only the nothingness
Returns their embrace

A breath of hope
Escapes trembling lips
But is heard as a sigh
Of loneliness and despair

A dream ready to be lived
But from the nightmare
A tortured soul
Will never wake


Details | Free verse | |

AISHA

Forced into womanhood at 12
betrayed by those you trusted
abused daily mentally and physically
forced to sleep in the animal shed
Your escape was short-lived
being captured and returned
to your tormentors

In the mountain
the cruel knife passed
on your innocent face
No, Aisha
that is not cold water
in your nose
It is your blood
Your nose is gone
and so are your ears

Your tormentors have gone away
and left you alone to die
But you refused to lay down 
and die
With your defiant spirit
you crawled down the mountain
to those who cared
and protected you
and helped you to a new life
away from the evil unjust system
you inherited by birth

What was your crime
to be dealt such cruelty?


Details | ABC | |

amends

Salty tears and razor blades
 The pain drips slowly from my skin
 Physical pain sets in, emotional pain subsides
 Then begins again
 When the pain builds inside 
I want to escape 
I want to run
 I want to hide
 I can’t hide from myself 
I do this to cope
 When I’m down low laying broken on the floor
 Left with no hope
 In the moment I want to fade the hurt
 I slash my pride 
Demean my worth
 See myself through your eyes
 It’s your distorted perception of me
 False esteem, iniquitous lies
 It’s not easy living in an unhealthy mind
 Wrapped in a warped sick self 
I start to unwind
 A bawled up knot 
Frayed at the ends
 Then I realize when I hurt my self
 Its to my loved ones I must make amends


Details | Rhyme | |

Silent Acceptance

Trapped inside,
a living hell,
waiting silently,
for the final bell,
let me be,
I have no choice,
you wouldn't understand,
had I a voice,
invisible to everyone,
mocked by all,
in a cage.
left to fall,
but fear not,
I've come to accept,
the cruelty of life,
you'd never expect,
just remember the lie,
I let you all see,
remember the girl,
you thought was me...


Details | I do not know? | |

Masked Man

Your name like arsenic burning my throat
A slow death, thinking of you, will bring to me
Your words so sincere, sugar coated placebo
What was it? A change in mind? A change in heart? Or your mischevious ways.
You wear a mask
An emotional blanket used to keep your prey warm before you rip them open and 
feed on there heart.
Staring into your eyes i felt warm, wanted
A fog in your gaze makes everything unclear
your voice soft and alluring, reassuring.
your smile comforting
my eye site is blurring
your silent poison is taking control
The smoke of your words lingure my mind
A big jumble of sweet lies
Im addicted and im not the only one
you feed off the attention you look for
Your like a dark fog that takes the form of a white angel
Whinding me threw the unknown grounds of my imagination
a quite twisting path in the land of love and sourenity
but under every wanted happyness lies a dark secret
The ground we walk is truely dead grass, dead emotion, and dead people
Tombstones row by row
Your just leading me to the 6 foot hole youve been draining my heart into


Details | I do not know? | |

I Am Killing Me

I don't want to be here destroying myself
But no one else will find me here 
Alone and in the dark
Without even the pleasure of sharing company with time
I am all I have because I have lost everything
So what can I do when all I know is losing
With idle hands made only to tear down all I know
And all I have
This is who I am
I don't want to be here destroying myself
But nothing else and no one else is here
But me

© Janica V. Williams 


Details | Free verse | |

Lie Hurts

I was getting the wind but was myth
As he odium me was the real truth
Lone wolf I remained, solo from reality
And suffered the pain of libel..!!!

Conk-out he did and joined another chum
The truth kept me soothe
I shivered in the ail of conk-out and zest
And ebbed in this dark cosmos..!!!


Details | Rhyme | |

Driven Insane

I don’t know where to start
When I look around me, I see myself slipping and falling apart
I’m drifting… I’m falling away into the dark
I’m dealing with stress...and now I hear the dog bark…

My eyes open like corridors... my life is a curse 
When I try to ignore the chaos... the dilemma gets worse and worse 
I'm failing... I'm yearning for peace to rebuild my courage
I'm marinated in turmoil...and I'm close to my breakage

Driven insane… I'm wide awake… recollecting my thoughts
I’m backing away from any danger coming my way
You tossed me in the drain… I’m resting… trying to untangle the knots
Overpowering pain… but now I’m losing control… 
But I’ll stop writing today . . .. . .. . . 


Details | Free verse | |

Running out of Time

If time were distance
Then I would be bounding hard

Minutes turning to miles
And an over saturated face
Turning to tears which burst for
The crushed bones in my feet
That fall into line, keeping me 
Just above the ground
and the dirt that I had 
fallen in
And moving 
away, away, away…
 
My distance is time
And my distance is down
And I am under water
With a surface that’s always
 too many strokes away

Like a tired night which begins at dawn
And swallows the day
With a sickly, unrepentant stomach
So I swallow my regret
Covering my red skin with fig leaves
So then, maybe then god won’t see 
But more importantly, So I won’t see 
where I am headed
Or rather, where I will never be

Emotions flee
But not as quickly as me
And I will get out
No matter how tightly life holds
Because distance makes me old
And I would rather run the time out
Of a life that
is going nowhere fast
then accept a life
that turns me to stone

A life that makes me die and cry
One swallow, one embrace,
One broken heart 
at a time


Details | I do not know? | |

Darkness

Sitting in the dark
I can’t find the light.
Theres no pain on this side
It feels oh, so right.
Hate when the sunshine
Its morning time,
I can see everything around me
And it’s not a delight.
At night
Everyone’s asleep
Ah, the sound of peace.
Wrapped in my sheet
With lots of sweet dreams
Don’t wake me now 
Not today
Not tomorrow!
In the dark 
I can hide my feelings
Darkness is my healing
Oh sun
Please don’t rise
I don’t want to see you
In my eyes.
You’re  to bright
I hate the light
Just set
And let me rest
And let me rest
Let me be death’s mistress.
09/25/07


Details | Free verse | |

Leaves of Illusion

They see flying elephants in the air;
some sighting of the living dead are reported too.

The world has became a slave; leaves with no weaponry
army, or conscience, have tied even the strongest of men. The world
now is akin to the dark ages, where the name "death" was crawling
on the lips of almost everyone.

Spirituality has become hard to understand, just like grasping rocket science;
walking on the streets in nakedness has become a usual thing...... Man's future
is hanging on the balance. Thanks to people who legalized marijuana throughout
the world.


Details | Lyric | |

I'm Your Son

little child
come out and play
Ill be your master
innocent little boy
My little son
I rape with my eyes
On your flesh i will eat

"you raped me"
I feel dirty
"I screamed"
No one heard me
"You hit me"
I'm not a liar
"My God"
Why your own child?

It's Alright

You yelled and screamed at me
Told mom you didn't touch me there
She sat there watching
You've messed with my brain
You have stolen my life
Remember i'm your son

"you raped me"
I feel dirty
"I screamed"
No one heard me
"You hit me"
I'm not a liar
"My God"
Why your own child?

I didn't touch you there
Mommy said she didn't care
That's why she stopped at starred
I'm not the liar son 
You are

YOU RAPED ME
IT HURT AS A CHILD
I SCREAMED
NO ONE HEARD ME
MY GOD
I'M NOT A LIAR!



Details | Free verse | |

Morbid Luck

Bad luck could hit hard…
It’s difficult to catch a flash of glory… 
Unfortunately, we end up with the wrong side of the coin 
It’s tricky to snatch eternal glee…

I wish I could increase your motivation and prove your significance 
But I have none that I own – you made a big impact on me believe it or not
I want to grant you success…or I’ll let God work His magic
I have the passion to accomplish my jubilant goals – I just got to be energized…
Be strengthened and have self-reliance  
I prey upon confidence… 
I pray for your dreams to fall into place… 
I have no choice, but to find my way out of this labyrinth… 
OUT OF THIS MESS…
Suffocating me in harsh distress…
Dissatisfaction could shatter your hope

We are fading… we’re fragments
Escalating ferociously…  

It’s almost impossible to remain at ease during these hard times…
Fortunately, we have a chance to be on the right side of the coin

The most difficult part of living is… 
Dealing with the outrageous crimes  

Bad luck 
Is totally a morbid result in life’s situations…
I believe that you could endure
The catastrophe that burnt up your 
Last drop of courage…

What a tragedy you turned out to be… 
Your morbid luck drained out your bliss
And inflated you with squalid misery…
Your morbid luck dragged you 
Into the abyss……… 


Details | Blank verse | |

Luciferia II-- The Damned

Run away Run Away No matter how Far You will never escape my dark hands of faith Wicked and Damned you are my Sin Darling Don't you Tremble when I embrace you The cold and Dark may fill every marrow But at least there were here For You Tell Me how they So Loved You Tell Me All of your fears When the world is done and all their trust will render Undone I will always be with you And Now We cease to Exist Luciferia I can see your Misery Just follow me and believe Me We are The Damned Outcasts of this Natural World We are The Damned Hold on I'll show you what you're waiting for We Are The Damned Join Our Dark Reality When you know the choice the Wind Will come right through And you will See what you're really meant to Be Draining into the Night Shivering With the Smallest of Frights I am the Ghost In Your Dreams I watch You Through the Window Yes that is your name Written In Blood Are You Scared? Are You Suffering? The Dark fate is what was Meant to Be This is what happens when you Brake Us with Words Destroy us with sights Twists are minds Set our will On Fire I can see your Misery Just follow me and believe Me We are The Damned Outcasts of this Natural World We are The Damned Hold on I'll show you what you're waiting for We Are The Damned Join Our Dark Reality When you know the choice the Wind Will come right through And you will See what you're really meant to Be I can see your Misery Just follow me and believe Me We are The Damned Outcasts of this Natural World We are The Damned Hold on I'll show you what you're waiting for We Are The Damned Join Our Dark Reality When you know the choice the Wind Will come right through And you will See what you're really meant to Be


Details | Rhyme | |

OUR DARK SECRET PLACE

Take off the ARMOR OF GOD!
   Remove the BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS!                  
     Throw away the SHIELD OF FAITH!   
         Forget the TRUTH OF GOD’S WORD!

Let’s do what we want to do
        in our dark secret world,
           at our dark secret place, 
               at our own selfish pace.

Let’s make our own choices.
Let’s listen to our own voices.      

Let’s act by the power of
    OUR might.
It doesn’t have to be right.
Let’s do it anyway. 
Let’s go astray.

And when we leave that darkness and
   face family and friends,
They’ll never know about our dark place
   or of our dark secret sins.

We will not worry about the 
         consequences.
We are fully protected by 
         Satan’s fences.

And if we die in our
    sinful state,
Hell has an open gate.



NOTE:

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

POEM is based on these scriptures:

Ephesians 6:10-12: Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.


Details | Rhyme | |

Wondered Thoughts

Starving for truth and what lies beyond me,
Heavy blockages of electricity run through my body,
Static feelings numb my mind,
Too much to bear,
Just want to wake up and find,
The answers,
To life, how to battle fears,
Keep seeing one day wont be nothing left,
Things I have done,
Things I've said,
Heartaches I've received,
Does it all matter?
Out of all that has happened,
Just want to know one thing,
Have I succeeded?
Time that passes each day,
Waiting, and being patient,
Was it for nothing?
Dying to know, 
Thinking my time is up,
Should I keep going?
Looking for the answers,
I may never know,
This battlefield will only grow stronger,
The fake smiles fades, 
No more laughter,
Will it come a day,
I won't ever be afraid?
Waking up back in reality, 
Leaves me drained
Now I need to rest.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pain

Exquisite pain
Outlive those tears
Pictures in rain
Black cruor smears

Dovey Annie


Details | I do not know? | |

All Night Cafe

Approaching the solitary window,
Cold bites deep to my veins,
The belongings to the window's innards,
Crack out wards, light up my way.
The glowing warmth and smell of it's doorway,
Invites you, to the 'All Night Café'.

Breath lightly on the window,
Cold wind catches it hard,
One moment caught from moving,
All sense of feeling barred.
Huddled in the corner, mug of tea to hand,
Covered in rags is the resemblance of man.

He has no knowledge of his surroundings,
Which have treated him so severe,
He keeps on hiding from us nightly,
With yet one more pint of beer.

See sweat filled walls look down on solitary man,
Sits crumpled and worn, preserves what dignity he can.
Wind leathered face, stiffens disgrace.
Unshaven, unclean. Visible and smelling are the places he's seen.

Look into his eyes, they are swollen brown,
The darkness of which match only his frown.
His cheekbones in contrast, stand out proud,
Skin, clinging thinly, as his corpses constant shroud.

Decide to move in closer, having been unnoticed inside,
The staff sit living in the kitchen, where from such reality they hide.
Still, he sits coldly, as I, invading his space,
My form forever lowering, stops, opposite expressionless face.

For a moment my attention is taken, by a voice high ticking on the wall,
It's face forever changing, one day it too must fall.
Outside howling, the wind is crying to get in,
Starts kicking at the doorway, raising the noise to a din.

There is laughter in the back now, as the clock it strikes one,
Everyone seems to be saying, "life must go on".
Turn back to the table, my friend has a tear in his eye,
All the lonely people in the world, yet nobody answers why.
Reach out to touch him, then all I wipe is on glass,


Details | Verse | |

Pay for

God will never forget what you've done,
God will always remember your faults.
He'll forgive you someday,
No doubts in that, but
For the pain that you caused
You will be paying through life,
Every day, every night, every second,
Every beat of the time
You will pay for the grief that
You brought to my life.


Details | Rhyme | |

SILENTLY

Silently I scream
 In utter distress.
 No one hears,
 But it helps, none the less.

 Silently I cry 
 Without shedding tears
 The sobs of sorrow,
 No one hears.

 Silently I relive
 My terrible past.
 I'll scream and cry,
 Then smile at last.


Details | Narrative | |

The Sea Blue Eyes II

There she is the false image standing quietly
She is just standing looking at a beautiful flower
She notices her passion of earthy desire
Something is happening she burst into the sun
I look up as her hands grasp my face
Her sea blue eyes gazed at me
Her warm hand and then a bright light blinded me
I went down on my knees and cried
The salty water dropped on to the ground 
I live by the ocean so deep
I do not know how to swim
By the thought of a beautiful look 
That made me shake
With fear in my head I saw those Sea Blue Eyes
I cannot restrain myself she burst into the sun
What is going on is it just the feeling of being left behind
She was a desire and now I have none
Driving nuts and insane what will I do
Believing such a image is a dream
I walk on the sand by the ocean with flowers in my hand
Raising it to the sky and trying my best to lure her
The image came close 
It pulled me into the ocean I was soaked
What a lonely human being I am
I grope the sky with such desire
I look pitiful and look anguished
What horrible feeling I have to pull the beauty that is nature down
The wind blew one day the image once more appeared
A young woman standing beside a flower with deep Sea Blue Eyes
Looked at me a glance of hope and happiness came
I reached for her and all of a sudden I fell into a deep sleep
Months past they had told me that I jump off a cliff 
They explained that the flower patch was by it
I realize heaven and earth cannot be reached with out a sacrifice
With meaningless thoughts I would wonder of to the cliff area
To see the ocean were it meets and ends
I was told a story long ago that the feelings of the ocean can seep into your soul
The trend of this story came shortly after some deaths
I was fooled the lady with the Sea Blue Eyes can manipulate anyone
Ladies and men, she is an illusion of the utmost desire
Blaming everyone human kind knowing they are lyres
The ghostly images that creeps everyone is oneself
Desire falls upon those who are lonely 
Believe of the unnatural becomes science
The Sea Blue Eyes is no lie cause they have been taking souls
Through century they have been taking souls for tolls
I stood once again near the ocean reaching to the sky
Lonely I was ready to disappear 
One day she not the lady of the sea it was the one I knew
I was blessed that day she embrace me 
I then fell into a slumber of bliss and desire
Now I just hear voices and I am paralyze down
A disappointment I was fooled once more by the Sea Blue Eyes 

To be continue.


Details | Free verse | |

Once Here Now Dead

Once here
Now dead & gone
“What am I known for, this time round?”
I exist only as a memory now
A memory that fades, over time
“Who will remember me, when I am gone?”

No one knew me
Yet people will say they knew me, so well!
A laugh, how often people think “they are experts”
Yet, really
Know nothing at all!

“How well did you know the inside of me?”
For, if I was to ask...
“What is my favourite colour?”
Or, “what’s my favourite song?”
I listen for answers...none come

“What’s my favourite food to eat?”
Complete silence...
I could hear a pin drop
Round...about...now!
“Do these questions fall upon deaf ears?”
For I ask...

“Who truly knew me?”
“What am I known for?”
“Who will remember me?”
When I am dead & gone


Details | Rhyme | |

Obscene Obsession

"Are you alone? A raspy Renfield exclaimed,
The phone static like frenzied bugs contained.
I hang up the phone in a disgusted huff,
This guy so creepy, I've had enough.
 

Three AM the phone again starts to ring,
Not quite awake, almost dropping the thing.
"Are you alone?" I heard with a raspy breath,
My patience gone, I cursed for his imminent death.
 

"Listen you pervert leave me alone."
my fingers shook as I clinched the phone.
A malevolence laugh my only reward,
A chill down my spine, I had struck a cord.
 

"You know, little darlin' I'm coming for you,
I'm going to f**k you up bad and relish begging you'll do.
I left you a present outside your door,
I hope you like it my sweet little whore."
 

I slam the phone down with violent force,
Hoping I took out his eardrum in the course.
My knees shook as I went to the door,
I wasn't expecting the bloody gore.
 

A bow of royal blue around it's neck
Not quite believing I had to double check.
A crusty headless kitten was placed in an ornate box,
My eyes dart up and down gloomy abandon street blocks.


Thunder and lightning a perfect horror scene,
A nightmare from a Freddy krueger's dream.
Wet footsteps flickered in the flashing porch entrance,
Slamming, bolting the door, survival adrenaline intense.
 

I nearly peed my pants when the phone again rings,
"Are you alone", a childish voice off-key sings.
"Listen you sick creep, I'm calling the cops,
I'll have you arrested unless this stops."
 

"Awe you wound me, my sweet little whore,
You should answer your front door."
As he said that I heard an eerie knock,
I almost passed out from the shock.
 

According to things I've read,
If I didn't act now I'd surly be dead.
I pick up the phone to make that 911 call,
I couldn't get reception, no dial tone at all.
 

In frustration threw the phone across the room,
It exploded in pieces like a sonic boom.
Another slow knock jolted me to action,
I had to find some way for a distraction.
 

Over-cast rain, curtained the flashing hills,
Wrapped in a blanket to ward off chills.
"Here little kitty, kitty let me in," an eerie call, with a knock,
"Not by hairs on my chinny chin chin." Thank God for a heavy lock.
 

Glancing at the portable phone in pieces, poor thing,
But incredibly I heard it  begin a distorted ring.
In the front window a silhouette flashed with a knife,
I opened my parched lips screaming for dear life.


Suddenly in my head a gentle whisper said,
Escape through the back door or you're already dead.
I tripped over the blanket, as I tossed it to the floor,
"Come out, come out my little sex kitten whore."

 ****! Why didn't I think of the other door sooner,
By now I'm thinking things couldn't get loonier.
Running like a bat out of hell, I flung open the back door,
"HELLO! Johnny's hooome. it's to late to run anymore."


Details | Rhyme | |

All's Not Well

It's always nice to call a friend
When life starts drawing to an end
Maybe you should wait a day
Always find much more to say
But should you just forget to phone
You might find that you're all alone
Yet other things I start to find
Many friends have lost their mind
Not that they are off the wall
They all have problems when I call
Some just can't hear
Some aren't well
It's really hard
For me to tell
Some have no mate
A sorry state 
Other know they reached their last
All recall
A long lost past
For them each day's a living hell
All's not good
All's not well


Details | Rhyme | |

Hidden

A play on words is said,
Lying in your bed,
Always feeling dead, 
Stand and shake your head,
Don't look at what bled.

The words you meant to keep,
Never let them hear you speak,
All a constant bleak,
Show you are not meek, 
Look in to the world and shriek.

Don't let your feelings show,
Keeping silent hidden low, 
Hide from all you owe,
Spill all that was in tow,
Tell them "No!"

Hide who you are,
Held back from afar,
Life like tar,
Wield your scar,
Break free from your mar.


Details | Free verse | |

Blades of Apathy

Memories scarcely recollected
as if the frail pictures hold traces of
shame—no, not shame—
a contemptuous emotion strung
upon such intruding truths,
basking and waiting
for words to record its frumpy 
existence—gone . . .

There is a fear lurking where
honesty resides, as blades
of apathy slash away at the edges
of time—making way for 
distant sadness. . .and a cool blur of
Heartless 

-May 30, 2014-


Details | Free verse | |

Cutting

	The pain is too much,
I can’t take it anymore,
It makes me want to fall,
Straight through the floor.
	I’ve held it inside me,
For far too long,
I’m tired of being told,
That everything I do is wrong.
	The first time was an accident,
But I’ll do it again,
Even though I know,
Cutting is a sin.
	I hold the blade in my hand,
Swipe it across my skin,
I see the blood come pouring out,
I think I found a new friend.
	You may not believe me,
But I don’t feel the pain,
Even though the blood,
Pours like the rain.
	When I see the blood,
Coming from the cut,
I feel the pain leaving,
For my eyes are now shut.
	I finally found something,
I can control,
I know when to stop,
I control the flow.
	When the blood leaves me,
Other things do as well,
The pain and heartache,
There’s no more to tell.


Details | I do not know? | |

No Turning Back

To live ones life in a dark shadow,
Is like living where there is no other soul.
Being alone, frightened, upset,
Fearful of dying someday.
Living in pain and agony each day.
Pain, deep torturous pain that rips 
Apart ones feelings and eats away at the heart.
Fearing the days that one has to live through.
Wondering will I wake up tomorrow morning
And live another day?
Or will I die peacefully in my sleep tonight?
Thank God for giving me another day-
Another chance.
I hate the devil for making my days 
Torturous and dreadful.
I despise him for not letting me live my life.
I cry each night and day.
I look for a friend,
I look for a stranger,
No one is around.
No one but my feelings and the dark shadows
That haunt me day and night.
I deal with my pain every day,
But I have learned to deal with 
What I have to go through,
And now I must go on knowing 
There is no turning back.


Details | Free verse | |

Inadequate

I try hard, to make you understand So we can remain friends- hand in hand But as time moves on it all fades away And I'm left, the inadequate fool Often I find I cannot repress these tears at night I fear I'm losing you my best friend...and the darkness drowns the light I wish to hold onto what we had, for you to stay But I am nothing but the useless inadequate tool I cannot make you laugh, or smile, the way I used too I am nothing now, I cannot do Broken and forgotten I wonder alone Every night I cry because, despite what you say, I have lost you I was pushed aside and abandoned for those far superior Outside helplessly flailing I am merely a memory; I the inferior Never wanting you to be afraid or hurt, I am left on my own And there is now nothing I can do There was never anything that could be done Her venomous words: “NO ONE cares...NO ONE likes you” Hold a truth so vile and scarring it adds to my worthless The stinging echos, “ALL your friends FAKE IT” Burn a pain that will never heal....CAN never heal Flighty psalms of devastating torture continue As you; my hope, my light and saving grace, flee from me Making every false glory, every spoken slice across the skin More true than a haunting scream that deafens my ears “YOU ARE NOTHING” I cannot shake her from me She resides within the dying fragments of my mind Where light ceases to exist and darkness births the desire to kill I cannot be anything good and therefore you cannot save me “You are NOTHING” I am nothing “YOU are WORTHLESS” I am worthless I have nothing to live for All my friends are fake-- Oh please do not let it be so! I know my inadequate life can never amount to yours I know I can never be anything spectacular but I implore you! Dearest friend please to not let this darkness consume me! Erase her from my memory; clear all doubt! Don't let me lose you in this chaotic chasm of fear My flighty mind and eye flit about in a haze of never ending doubt Thrown down in deplorable silence, drenched it full blood self-hatred I am nothing, I am worthless.... I am inadequate Often I find I cannot repress these tears at night I fear I'm losing you my best friend...and the darkness drowns the light I wish to hold onto what we had, for you to stay But I am nothing but the useless inadequate tool Selfishly I clung to you as life line-for I had no other And the she crushed me...she stabbed me...when I thought she could be another I, the inferior, am naught to the superior and I fade away I –the inferior-- am the worthless nobody...the inadequate fool


Details | Rhyme | |

Heartless

In the woods wonders a fool, 
He walks along a sorrowful path.
His soul has fallen beneath the rule
of a vengeful woman’s wrath.

He begs forgiveness from the dark, 
For that is all who can hear his cries. 
Even his shadow refuses to hark, 
as the tears flow from his eyes. 

With his heart she stole the good, 
and crumbled it into the dirt. 
As he begged, broken he stood,
wishing for a way to stop the hurt.

No second chances, no more tries. 
She couldn’t forgive him once more
No amount of tears nor alibis, 
could wash away the bottles on the floor. 

He sipped past his final excuse,
He lost her love now once for all. 
Now he walks to a lonely noose, 
Haunted by the demons call. 

Love has turned her face away
the pain now takes control. 
There were no silver words to say, 
That could pay this poor fools toll. 

As he wanders deep and deeper
his sorrow is overthrown by rage. 
Now as he awaits the reaper,
his heart is stabbed within its cage. 

Addiction has poisoned and made him ill 
It’s blackened his heart and stolen his sight
His anger it boils and readies to kill, 
Demons have awoken in his heart tonight.

A transformation has taken place, 
tonight a monster has been born. 
An evil slithers across his face, 
flowing from where his heart was torn. 

In the woods awaits an angry fool, 
love has left him and he rots in pain. 
He hates the living like an evil ghoul, 
and death runs through his every vein. 

In the dark by damnation's gate
He sits alone and lingers. 
waiting for that woman’s fate
to fall into his fingers. 

He wants her to look into his eyes,
and fear what she has created. 
He wants to kiss her as she dies, 
and whisper why he’s waited. 

He wants his life to be rebuilt,
He wants the heart that she stole
He wants to be free of the guilt,
He wants to regain his soul. 




Details | Rhyme | |

The Feeling

The feeling I feel
Is as dark as space
I don't know how to deal
With such an endless place.
My thoughts seem to overcome
All that is over me
I feel that I am strucked dum
For the world to see.
These feelings of mine
Are deeper than any sea or ocean
With darkness combine
Creates and endless motion.
I am in an endless cycle
Of darkness and depression
That I can not battle
In each of my sessions.
Every time I move forward
The hole gets deeper and deeper
I try to look outward
But the light becomes dimmer and dimmer.
I feel completely buried
With no way out
And very wearied
with out a doubt.
I want to scream for help
But no one will hear me
For the dirt chokes my throat
So I will never be set free.

By: Fotu S Taeoalii


Details | Free verse | |

A Walk Through Ruins

How can I define to you in a rhyme 
My pain, melodically, nurtured by time 

How can I make anyone feel what I feel 
When all I know are lies, how can I make this real 

Let me bring you down with me 
As we walk through the fires, tell me what you see
 
Give me 18 years to destroy your worth 
I’ll be in your brain til you regret your birth

Let me throw you to the lions blindfolded 
Stand your ground, see how long you can hold it 

Let me sully all that surrounds you
You’ll thank God for the worst you've been through

Only when your life hinges on hiding like I hid 
Will you be capable of knowing pain like I did


Details | Free verse | |

As Resentment Attacks Our Pale Soul-

As resentment attacks our pale soul,
We sit in the dark surrounded by confusion,
We start to think about this dark sorrowful life,
And we feebly face our sinful feelings,

As resentment attacks our pale soul,
Our quivering bodies run away from themselves,
Trying to find somewhere to hide,
But sadness conceals all safety,

As resentment attacks our pale soul,
Ashen, the world becomes,
The colors of joy are washed by our pessimism,
And dimness builds a cage of tears around us,

As resentment attacks our pale soul,
Loneliness drenches the air we breathe,
We inhale the torment into ourselves, 
Suffering between the lonely arms around us,

As resentment attacks our pale soul,
We are broken pieces lying on the ground,
Feeling the pain seep through our veins,
We try to hold our last breath,

As resentment attacks our pale soul,
We try to alleviate the pain we feel,
By bleeding ourselves into more agony,
Painfully, we will have to
Swallow the taste of resentment…




Details | Free verse | |

Gathering Stones

It is dreadfully bitter
The taste of my imprudence

A brackish reminder

Bubbling acrid froth
Impossible
To choke back
Aftershocks heave and pitch my 
Shaky foundation

Acid courses over

	My
	Dreams

Destroying hope of
Amaranthine love

The brine erodes each stone
So well
Etches them with its indifferent regard
Leaving me a caustic cocktail
To slake a ruthless thirst

Nothing is sweet

Everything 
		Burns

Dreams are best left for dreamers
I will gather stones for my foundation


Details | Free verse | |

REGRETS AND RESENTMENT

as time passes by;
like word born on the streets,
you never knew hard,
till it hits you deep within.
even if there is pain without the tears,
it doesn't mean it's any less of a struggle to forget.
hard aches on heartaches,
resentment is hard to leave by when the regret is there.
sublime tears that echoes and tears you up inside,
meanwhile, I try not to stray from my true nature!!!
vibration of a cry that is not too well played out;
pound per pound,
restless beatings of my chest,
leaves a residue of unsound sorrow that marks the epitamy of being alone,
which is never too easy.
like a melody that is deaf with tone,
cheating destiny has no future in it.
I am forever standing still in the sands of time,
like time has made me a mark of inequities.
no right direction to go from where I'm left off;
but just to look for the easiest way out!
still doesn't justify the reason of my situation.
out of the mourning dew:
I try to stay awake........
still, I miss missing the way we are!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Bygone Days

The sick sadistic people that torture the kid
Thinking of thoughts to fascinating in sin
Hiding behind a stature of loneliness he hates
A time warp in his chest it elates
Swaying through time with no cause or mentality
He don't want to feel like a congenital abnormality
Piercing his mind with no anesthesia
Mind caught in the lake of amnesia
Grasping towards another minoral fate
Sometimes in this bygone world its too late
Suffering a wraith in his vivacious serenity
So sad and unaware with no amenity
This boy has suffered for a time of days
Like most diverse and beseeching in many ways
But tampered with is his lamp of time
Puppet strings in his head now a mime 
The prescription of happiness is a lie
Bury the darkness as a maggot one day be a fly
This is the torture of a teen so young
Now no speech they take your tongue
Its over
Its over
Slit it in his own health
Slayed down for his enlightened death....


Details | Free verse | |

Hands Of Time

I lost my head,
It's gone now,
There's no way to get it back
Inside one's mind
I am blind,
Hopeless,pitiful
A trail of black,
There's no sunshine or 
rainbows
In my state,
In my state,
Of wrong turns and hurtful 
burns
Angst,among these
Despaired hates,
Darkness is too easy a way to 
put it,
So I run within my mind
To try to find 
What never seems to have 
existed at all
My half empty glass of 
impossible,
Carelessness,wishful thinking
Help is needed though never 
wanted
Not allowed in my state of 
mind,
A monster I've become
Not to others but to myself,
So now,I look back
At the good times that once 
were mine
And sit and think,
If only I could turn back these 
hands of time


Details | Free verse | |

Short Life

Heartbeat--
Life begins.
The Genesis
Of a new person.

Eyes blink--
The child sees.
He tastes the world.
He explores and learns.

Heartbreak--
Bitterness
Innocence lost
The child turns to man.

Heart torn--
Man forgets
The joys of life.
He sinks in shadow.

Heart stops--
One moment
Before Death comes
To see life is short.


Details | Free verse | |

Bleeding Love

Bleeding Love
Curled in a ball
Not knowing what to do!
Knees against my chest
Cradling oneself

‘Soothing my soul’

Memories of you
Flooding my brain
Your words
Left as lingering whispers
Your smile
Imprinted, upon my mind's eye
High light of my day!
Electrifying my nervous system
Jump starting my heart
Punishing me
For loving you
‘Bleeding love’


Details | Free verse | |

Soulful Cries

I scream, at the top of my lungs
No sound, comes out
Silent, curdling screams
Is, all I have left, now
I wrestle; I fight, with all, my physical might
While, being forced down 
By the mighty strength, of many men
The pungent smells of dirt, sweat and grime
Embed, in my senses
Their ghastly hot breathes; making me, want to puke!
Their hands, all over me
Constantly grabbing and groping me
Hollering and cheering each other on
Then, someone punches me
Someone, I cannot see
A large man’s hand, covers my nose and mouth
Muffling my soulful cries, terrifying, my insides!

I can’t breathe, now!

Many heavy handed blows, follow
In a blurry haze
I watch, my scarlet red blood splatter
Upon the snow white sheets, that surround
My sacred blood spilled
My salty tears mixed in with sticky men’s semen
My body, a raging torrent of scorching hot lava
Lulling into a translucent, entranced state
Surrendering, to the primal, animalistic frenzy
The men, taking what they want, anyway they want it
Devouring every morsel left ,of my weak and weary body
My body fighting, for its God given right
To live, now!
My life flashes before my eyes
The sounds around me begin to fade
My eyes glaze over, my body goes limp
My body betraying me, when I need her the most!
Silently, I pray for this is not my will, but their own
“Have mercy upon these souls” 
“Please forgive these men, as I do, now
“My love remains with you, heavenly Father”
Blackened tears of jet black mascara
Weave their way down
Through the bloody crevasses, of my black & blued skin
My body used up, a lifeless vessel, totally numb!
My innocence and dignity stripped!
No one, can save me, the worst is done!
Bashed, beaten, worn
I am nothing, no more...


Details | Free verse | |

something in the air called loneliness

something in the air called loneliness
makes me do things that are disguised 
as outlets
my heart does the thinking for my brain
and the brain does the beating for my
heart
thinking that it is all a recipe for renovation
is actually a blueprint for surefire disaster
i laugh at my own jokes as i lie to myself
knowing that something is wrong and that 
the pain is obviously there
something starts to fall as i imagine a hand
that i so long to hold and the beauty that i
so yearn to see
puzzles in my mind cannot be put together
in any type of strategic way and board games
in my heart can never be won in any type of
masterful fashion
knowing this, i just go on with my head held high
trying to mask the raging sorrow that i feel for 
myself
repetition is like a pill you intentionally take after the
expiration date's expiration
seduction is like a laxative that starts working in the heart
of a long-awaited exploration
i wish i could christen myself at my own rededication, but a
voice ever so unhealthy for me continuously asserts its 
persistence to give me medication
unfocused with no hint of even a smidgen of a goal, i kindly
follow blindly....


Details | I do not know? | |

Dark Light

 Sometimes I feel like falling,
 Or drowning in the rain,
Sometimes I feel like cutting,
To see her face again.
The Shadows of a darker mind,
Twist, confuse and lie,
I never did understand why she had to die,
I see her face in haunting dreams,
Or looking back at me,
She seems to root me to the ground,
When all I want is to flee.
Her morbid beauty chases me,
Like vulchers around meat,
Her stone cold ear upon my chest,
To cocxe my finel beat,
Amogst this all is one smart ray,
A dimond in the mist,
That hold me close to take away,
The razor at my wrist,
The dark and light confuse my brain,
There never ending war,
Mother I love you and always will,
But James I love you more. 


Details | Free verse | |

A Thought

The wind, calm as light penetrates the morning canvas
Not a sound, except for my defeated heart
That reverberates through my soul
The smell of the crimson red sky; cool sweet lilac and myrrh

Warns me of a tempestuous day
A heartfelt tiding of mediocrity 
The greeting of your most irreverent facade 
Has driven from me, any appreciation of a summer dawn 

I have not the strength to summon a thought
Or a thought
Or a thought
Or a thought

Maybe a kind word
Will lift this veil
And allow me the strength
For a thought


Details | Free verse | |

Black Night

Black night, black thoughts merging into one
No sword shall sever this gordian knot
that binds my being in longing and despair

My tortured soul cries out
filled with a longing to crush
the things that torment me so

I see them with the mind's eye
and would strangle them 
but they recede into the shadows 
to mock me anew in ripened time

But now let my soul be at rest
even for a fleeting moment
for I am finally free

Free! 
The very sound is music to my ear
filling the mind with such fantasies
that leap to the heavens
and leaves me panting just alive

As a man who is spent I rest
and waves of gentleness flood my soul

The thought of a tender kiss
the smell of a rose, Jove's nectar
soothes my being and sets my soul at ease
to gather up courage 
to face another day




(wrote this at a dark period in my life in my 20s)


Details | Free verse | |

Regrets

This anger that is inside me now is tearing me apart,
    After all this time I find you had been lying from the start.
I am hurting so much from the pain you have caused me,
    By using your beauty and charm so I would not see.
All the lies and deceit while loving you and giving all my trust,
    I will expose your evil ways and mean doings this is a must.
Never  should another endure what you have put me through,
     This I will make sure of if it's the last thing that I ever do.
How dare you break my heart and then treat me so bad ,
      It  takes a lot to upset me but girl you have made me mad.
You've no idea the rage that I am carrying inside me now,
      I will make you regret this one day I will figure out how.
If it's the last thing I do I am going to make a example of you,
      How and when I am not sure of but trust me it will be soon.
You walk away from me as if you've done nothing wrong,
      Believe me girl I will show you and it wont take me long.
Seriously do you think you can get away with treating me this way?
      So wrong you are for that and you will know this one day.
That deceiving the man thats so in love with you ,
      Is something you are going to learn not to ever do.
Why would you ever do this to a man that loved you so,
      I guess this is something that I am never going to know.
This anger inside that is slowly tearing me apart ,
       Blinded by your ways I was completely in the dark.
Just one more thing I must say to you before I go ,
       You are evil  and that's something everybody will know.
TAC
   


Details | Rhyme | |

Your Deranged

along time ago u told me to stand my ground
but when i needed u the most you couldnt be found
16 years went by that i barely got to see your face
last time i heard from you u called me a disgrace
u brought me tears and hell threw out my life
and when i thought u had change i thought things will be alright
but again and again u stabbed me in the back
ur truely a monster and that is the fact
i pray and i pray that things will change
that maybe someday u will come back and stop being deranged
---written by Larissa Summitt


Details | Free verse | |

Dark Cloud On My Horizon

That dark cloud is back
yes, I feel it starting to drip
It's leaky contents is swelling
he's lost 
again.

He works hard
he is never out of work
except, last month
weeks passed, 
he's lost.

He had work
we breathed ealier
made plans
not to celebrate,
dig out.

After two weeks
they downsized
he is still six five
to my five six
I'm lost.

That dark cloud is backk
it's just hovering now
it's load is about to drop
hopefully not on my head
bucket anyone.

We are half a century
too old they say
not to our face
so, what are we to do?
live anyway. . .


Details | I do not know? | |

Blur

You left a hole in my heart that nobody can fix
I always listen to your favorite songs and look back at old pics
You let me be myself by giving me freedom and space
You never yelled at me when you were mad, but I could see it in your face
You were a pretty quiet guy and enjoyed your time alone
You loved fishing, bike riding, and listening to the music on your phone
You protected the family by making us feel secure
Whenever I was sick you always knew the proper cure
You weren’t big on doctors or getting help from others
You didn’t tell anyone you were sick, not even your mother
You didn’t want people to think you weren’t tough
You always told Brad and I not to sweat the small stuff
Although you didn’t show it often, I knew you were so proud of me
I loved showing off my grades to you, you never cared when I got a B
You wanted me to be happy with whatever I chose to do
You never forced me to be a doctor, it is what I choose to pursue
We had a special relationship unique to you and I
I will never forget kissing you that final goodbye
You laid there in peace, with an open mouth and closed eyes
No longer breathing, you had finally died
I sat there in shock, not knowing what to do
I cant believe this was my dad, why did it have to be you?
I felt so many emotions that my body felt numb
I hope this is something I will one day overcome 
My heart is in such pain and I am constantly sad
I can’t believe this happened to my smart, healthy dad
This traumatizing experience will never escape my mind
I watched how your health gradually declined
When you were put on the ventilator, I knew it was bad news
It was so scary and painful to see what you were going through
I hated that you couldn’t talk and that you were heavily sedated
I was praying to heaven that you would finally be extubated
I jumped for joy when mom called to say the tubes were removed
Little did I know that you would never improve 
So much has changed since all of this occurred
When I look back on this experience, it is all a blur


Details | Free verse | |

Messed Up Love

Burning up
Torn apart
“I have had enough!”
Jaded, by your words & thoughts
Deepest, darkest parts of my heart
Drowning in my own tears and sorrow
“What have you done to me?”
“I can’t function, any more!”
Messed up love!


Details | I do not know? | |

An Angels Tears

A barren mistress I will be,
All alone to sit and weep,
My sole to ashes and heart to dust,
I will live on I know I must.

All I wanted was a happy life,
I never knew it would be this price!
No more illusions of lifelong bliss.
How could my love have come to this? 

I love this man with all I am,
And yet he sees me as a sham,
I don’t know what I am meant to do,
To prove to him my love is true.

I hope one day he will see,
Just how much he means to me,
I never want to see this end,
But on his words does this depend.


Details | Free verse | |

Shiles

Burrowed so deep…
Solemnly I sleep…
In my wrists I keep…
What was I to be followed by deceit…?
Memories so cold…
Guilty as sins defeat…
Fake loss, you choose who I am…
Scan me slowly, you hold in your hand…
What bleed for this timed effort…
No longer holding my seed…
Like a leech, sucking at my brain your triumphal at succeeding…
Defiled in constant agony of what I wish was not true…
The one to blame should be left on who drives the screw…
Just look, as I sleep under the rain…
Left in distain…
I’m sane…


Details | Rhyme | |

So Broke It Hurts

So Broke It Hurts!


O' debt where is thy wicked and terrible sting
 sold already are my watch and gold ring
Creditors waiting so patiently at my front door 
 hopes of making a truly great score!

Fridge quite empty and cupboard so damn bare
 wife stole it all, even my old grey mare
Banker called, warned me I am five grand overdue
 a dozen more crying they going to sue!

Woke early this morn with a wallet quite flat
 this far down sure isn't where it's at
Car taken away last week due to failure to pay
 power turned off this cold, miserable day

No bright side to all this poor, sad calamity
 even lost my pride and all my humanity
Now so poor , can not even pay attention
 so broke even my dog is held in detention!

Robert L. 05-23-2014


I wrote this back in my early twenties. A rewrite from memory since it was
 one of my poems in the three journals my first ex-wife burned for spite!
Five long years I worked average 80 and 90 hour weeks to regain that which
 I lost in that sad divorce.. Learned what don't kill ya makes ya stronger!! 
Can laugh about it now but back then it was pure misery! 
If you've never been there thank your lucky stars or blessings!


Details | Free verse | |

THE OLD MAN AND THE BUTTERFLY

THE OLD MAN AND THE BUTTERFLY

How many wishes and hopes pass through a man's mind?
This is what I am thinking about while looking
into the sad face of an old man
who is motionlessly starring into the distance,
as if down there,
in the blue eye of the dreamy sea
he shall find all the answers.
And while the turquoise hands of the moon drive the shadows
into the old man's embrace,
a turquoise butterfly merrily flaps its wings
and radiates rays of light
along the dark ridges of this warm summer night
above his trembling tired head.
Perhaps this is the reason why
the old man's sad face looks up
instead of down,
why the sparkle of life still glows
in his tired eyes.
This butterfly is very young,
but his noble parentage is very old,
and that noble parentage used to spread its turquoise light
in the times of the old man's parents
and grandparents,
back in the time when hope was born
(and people say that hopes are younger than solitude).
It seems that the old man feels it,
and he raises his tired eyes whenever he hears
the harmonious sound of the butterfly's turquoise wings,
and death,
like a dark lady,
respectfully waits for its turn,
as if it took pity on the old man's boyish gaze;

How many wishes and hopes pass through a man's mind
while he helplessly sits
and waits for death?
I wonder where his thoughts are traveling now
and which soul in heaven do they touch?
His mother's soul?
His father's soul?
His brother's and sister's souls? 
Because souls are like butterflies,
crawling the earth with people,
only to eventually fly up to the sky,
perfectly free and magically bright.
All of this must be passing through the old man's thoughts
while he looks at the turquoise butterfly
in such a childish and lively manner.
Everything on him is dead,
apart from that childish gaze,
which makes his old man's thoughts so young
and so full of hope
that his soul might soon enough fly up
like his dear butterfly;

How many wishes and hopes pass through a man's mind;
yes, Lord, how many wishes and hopes are passing
my old father's mind now.
 
©Walter William Safar
 
  




Details | I do not know? | |

A man cries

A Man Cries

(Tear)
Runs down my face
(Tear)

Broken 
This I clearly see
Broken
However it may be
Broken

(Tear)
I like to fix things that are broken
(Tear)
How do you fix whats broken
(Tear)
If it doesnt accept it is broken
(Tear)

This is the problem
The problem that plagues me
This is the problem
The reason for the tears
This is the problem
The conundrum that I face
This is the problem
The pain that makes me weep
This is the problem

(Tear)
I cry because I care
(Tear)
I cry because I fear
(Tear)
I cry because your broken 
(Tear)
I cry because I cant fix you
(Tear)
I cry because you dont want me to
(Tear)

These tears I cry
in darkness
These tears I cry
in light
These tears I cry
in sorrow
These tears I cry
in hate
These tears I cry
in agony
These tears I cry
in all my might
These tears I cry

(Tear)
I cant stop crying
(Tear)
I really wish I could
(Tear)
I am a man
(Tear)
But men truly do cry too
(Tear)
These tears I shed
(Tear)
I shed them here for you
(Tear)
I shed these tears because your broken and I cant fix you no matter how I try
(Tear)


Details | Bio | |

Ethereal Day

Ethereal day
where sunshine invades the day
white cloud , dark eye
these visions 
how they comply
and lastly impress golden virtues
to the express
or expressly
sent to the soul
with the broken heart
who will seep and seep
like dripping water
whose droplets will meet the floor in puddles
deep puddles
that will crowd the floor
like pool of tears who shower and make fears
known to all who are drenched in there outlets
but my dark eyes will keep blind and not
show the sadness that lurks in my mind
but instead live the day the ethereal day
where sunshine will invade the day
and my likely skill will fake a smile
for this day.


Details | Free verse | |

60 Years

the soft breeze of a newborn tree,
blowing softly in the spring,
so young and impressionable,
and easily swayed.
singing a song so simple soon to be changed,
flowers around and good in its heart,
thinking in only the present and now,
wondering what the world is like,
wishing for knowledge it will not like,
weeds around its pretty roots,
whispering words of abuse,
its learning things so obscene,
seeing actions cruel and mean,
knowing now its evil truth,
the trees blossoms turn to leaves.

Seasons change and summers here,
the tree ignores its ugly fears,
its growing oh so steadily,
questioning all it sees,
knowing now of all the lies,
seeing things it dose despise,
wondering how Gandhi closed his eyes,
and turned his back on this,
experiencing death first hand,
losing friends that don’t come back,
still learning what he had to know,
his brain hurting from what it holds,
its pushing him not to live,
instead slowly fade a wiser way,
his leaves change different shades.

he stays away,
from earth these days,
as fall is changing his ways,
he only talks to worthy things,
that understand the world isn’t what it seems,
he wishes he was simple minded,
and not as old and wise as he,
a wallflower is how he acts,
taking in what he sees,
but never moving or saying a thing,
he's not as wise as he wants to think,
he often dwells upon his past,
his years shortening he’s not immortal you see,
his leaves slowly disappear until he is left bare.

the cold and doom-like winter,
is the last of seasons he will see,
they say the good die young,
but he often wonders what is he,
he’s became of dark and death,
as cold air push the tree,
and now he awaits a simple fate,
we all die don’t we,
as he thinks of what he knows,
he is soon to see
what he is wasting,
no we're not immortal he thinks,
but all just a bit too late,
for now its time for fate,
his bark turns dark and he is cold,
buried beneath a sea of we.


Details | Rhyme | |

School 666

Watching the news
makes me want to cry
I read it in the paper
and I can't stop asking 'why?'

An innocent one that has to die
I feel the tears in my eyes.
A family with a broken heart
the world we know,
is falling apart.



~~My Heart goes out to all the families who were victims of school shootings. ?? We HAVE to end this! I don't want to hear of another victim!!


Details | I do not know? | |

Pain Of My Heart

All this anguish in my heart,
Conflict tears my sole apart,
The pain I feel does not compare,
To the loss I feel when she’s not there.

I wish so much to hold her close,
If not her then her ghost,
Each day goes by in a clouded mist,
Another razor at my wrist,

The days are bright and pretty birds sing,
Yet in my head their voices ring,
Blinded by this misery,
So confused it baffles me!

Maybe one day we shall meet again,
I hope that’s when the pain will end,
But for now I sit and cry,
Because we had to say good bye.


Details | Free verse | |

A Soul-Searched Stretch of Despair

A soul-searched stretch of despair
Emits from the pores of these tears…
Staring off in an emptiness I embrace
A place so stark of life
So lost…glad to be misunderstood
Yet frustrated by the lack of empathy
The lack of sense…
Words oozing in an unfeeling mess…
To exist… to merely exist
Does it not baffle you?
Does it even cross your mind…
That you…and your thoughts… are so
Incredibly alone...?

...

Or is this soul lost in sorrows…
Sorrows you can never dream to behold?


Details | I do not know? | |

Fairy Tales Were Wrong

When I was a little girl I was told fairy tales
And I was raised to beware of the monster in a black cape
I was made to believe that evil would be so ugly
That you could see it as soon it was there

Oh, how wrong they were
Cause you're right here in front of me
You look like Prince Charming
But you have a dark heart
You get me caught up in your twisted arts

I was fooled by your big blue eyes
I was drawn in by your blonde hair
Why was I never warned that those with dark hearts could be so fair
Cause now that you've pulled me close 
I can't deny my affections for you
But you give me a roller coaster ride
Why did I not see past your blue eyes
You push and pull me all the time

I should have known
I should have been able to see
Just how twisted you are
Your looks are a lie
You don't wear a black cape
You don't have an ugly face
As much as I try to hate that monster inside
I still want you 

You look like Prince Charming
But you have a dark heart
And I was drawn in like a moth to a flame
You've got me in your prison of desire
I'm in chains, can't you see
All I want, all I need is to be let free


Details | ABC | |

eternal sleep

I hurt so badly
The pain is deep
I cry at night
I cant sleep
my stomachs knotted
I cant eat
my chest feels heavy
I cant breath
I feel desperation
I feel despair
I feel im slipping
No one cares
I take this blade
the cut is deep
I rest my eyes
eternal sleep


Details | Free verse | |

Ending of the Circles

Lack of anarchy 
This generation knows none
It has lost all beliefs of the mothers and fathers before
These times are a godless time
That the scoundrels pray by and dance to with flames
Murderers are given empathy and the sick...  to many antidotes


I stood above the altar waiting for a cleric
But was ashamed of the men who held a cross and kiss to one another
Children dying for the touch of an adult yet their games are still adolescent
Blood spilled for the sole purpose of drinking in already a vein drought
I cried for the times to end but the seconds grew patient and the minutes live

Statues built in tyranny and now every country begs for violence and respect 
Lust at the tip of the educators wand 
Fear is just a name that history has failed to remember
Witchcraft at the culmination of a holiday which we celebrate loudly and drunken

May God pity this land
Our hands use to ache with hard labor 
Now they snatch ignorance at the kneck 
Virtues grappling at a whim while the holiness has been abandoned like a ship
Drifting away at a destitute harbour


Details | I do not know? | |

Poems Passed

I start this poem with a plea,
Look at whats become of me,
Shattered dreams and a broken heart,
So much guilt where do I start?

I wanted life yet I found death,
My mother gone my children left,
My friends ticked off one by one,
No ones left now the reapers come.

I looked for God but all I find,
Is the broken world He left behind,
No more hope for united bliss,
Only waiting for the drunk mans fist.

Yet I seem to find a light,
The only thing that seem this right,
All I have is this tainted love,
As she cant bless it from above.


Details | Quatrain | |

Wicker Park

In desperation of solitude,
Sanity struggles to stay afloat.
Dark clouds descend on paradise lost,
Escape disappears, madness provoked.

Shadows dancing under the pale moon,
Mischievous silhouettes on the walls.
In the company of misery,
An unsympathetic world revolves.

Tragedy collects inside her quill,
Trembling in her delicate hand.
Tears streaming onto crumpled pages,
Unseen words bleed onto her nightstand.

Child of darkness, product of sorrow,
A fallen star abandoned by Hope.
Haunted by the desecrated ghosts,
Past secrets sealed in an envelope.

Despair magnified by cold silence,
Stories untold, forgotten memoirs.
Drawn towards the pale light of the moon,
Alone she rides, shepard of the stars.


Details | I do not know? | |

dark side of the moon

this is a twisted little tale of a moon king cult leader on death row...enjoy and employ

to all of my fans and fanatical fantastics...to all of my disciples of doom...living and breathing on the dark side of the moon
my heart reaches out to you...and it bends and breaks fortified steel locks and iron bars
no matter how near and no matter how far
through prison doors and electrified fences...my grip on the goal has no consequences
through gun tower killers and soul sucking police,priests,politicians,pigs of power and other bad boot lickers

my thoughts transcend time and space...monster in your mind...mad moonbeam in your face
i traded lunatics lies for that terrible truth...i'll see you all soon...on the dark side of the moon

harvest moon's coming like a nuclear blast...seperating the wheat and burning the chaff
i can hear war drums bang and guitars slash as mankind and money turn to mountains of ash
as democracy demons keep singing that same sad song of fools...i'll see you all soon...on the dark side of the moon

condemned and convicted with an addiction that's tragic...my mind mutilates and mangles the masses

the judges and juries of anger and fury,soon they'll scatter and scurry like roaches and rats...9 billion lives spent like genocidal cats

i'll fly like a bat straight out of the pollution...i'll bring a holy holocaust and start a righteous revolution

still i shine like a star to the sad ghosts of gloom...i'll see you all soon...on the dark side of the moon

the moon is now full and the sun is eclipsed...in trances of terror minions go on deathtrips
i slide and i slip...strapped to a black table

brutality beasts brainwashed with bloodlust...believers in fairy tales and fables and diamonds from dust
pronouncing the sentence and pumping the poison...
i sprout wings...i'm free to fly to my kingdom
now i sit on a throne made of thorns and tombstones

ps i love you all and i'll see you all soon...on the dark side of the moon
king lunar the loon

anthony_beesley@yahoo.com


Details | Rhyme | |

What to call it

What to call it

What to call it 
This feeling inside
It’s searching for weakness
I’m trying to hide

What to call it 
This feeling deep down
Its harsh and distasteful
It wants me to drown

What to call it 
This horror unseen
Heart clouded with darkness
With no trace of green

What to call it
This symptom unknown
It’s driving me crazy
Foul seeds it has sown 

What to call it
It has an ill air
I now have decided 
To call it despair


Details | Free verse | |

Where are you this Night

Where are you this night, Serenity?
With plains of dying tears
Crusting upon the soaked lashes
Deep bleeding heart aches 
Painfully laden with twisted betrayal
Sharp you are this night Serenity
Words piercing like swords
Wrapped in flames, scorching
Glossy eyes reflect a pain that cannot be fabricated
Stacked glass crashes over 
Lacerating with your poison,
Stinging words 
Collect in a crimson puddle
Where have you gone this night, Serenity?
Yearning for your touch, screaming in agony
Still your cruel frame dances away from-
The beauty of you ever more increasing with burning lust
Why do you evade this night, Serenity?
How can one know their worth, when others see no value
What must one do to befriend you,
The inexorable temptress
Vicious attacks that tear 
Brutally puncturing the vitality
My vitality
My life
And you've destroyed it all
Where have you gone this night-
Serenity?
----
Written: May 11, 2014


Details | Villanelle | |

Crying Deep in the Dark of the Night

Crying deep in the dark of the night
Only a single tear piercing the skin
A gentle kindness to never-ending plight

The bitter screaming, I try as I might
To drown out the memories with a soft grin
Crying deep in the dark of the night

Desolate thoughts, the blurry images, deluding my sight
Learning to cope with unbearable sin
A gentle kindness to never-ending plight

Peaceful quiet, no yelling or sounds of fight
I wipe the tears from sleepy eyes, holding up high my chin
Crying deep in the dark of the night

Sitting alone, wrapped in blankets real tight
Blinded eyes burning from unseen pins 
A gentle kindness to never-ending plight

There you are, with weeping orbs of hidden light
And here I stand, with a single shudder, determined to win
Crying deep in the dark of the night
A gentle kindness to never-ending plight


Details | I do not know? | |

Winter Love

Another flake that fades away,
Another love that cannot stay,
An empty body a broken heart,
Another nightmare waits to start.

Another leaf falls off a tree,
Another family left to flee,
The battered babe and torn up mum,
Another dream has come undone.

Another circle of endless hate,
Another innocent at the gate,
I know it hurts and I will weep,
To let my little angles sleep.

And so another confession ends,
Another day to comprehend,
I know that we are split apart,
Just know you are always in my heart. 


Details | Lyric | |

Why Did You Leave Your Memories Behind

I've been trying to erase, for a long long time
All these happy memories, I have of you
But every time I think, that I'm finally over you
When my frown, has turned upside down
I close my eyes, and again you're right there on my mind
Oh! why, why did you leave your memories behind

I keep trying to move on, I keep trying to forget you
But every road I walk, every path I take
Leads my mind, right back to you
Oh! it's so hard to go on, without you around
For every dark alley, every dark highway
You seem to be right there, on my mind to stay

Now If memories were like raindrops, falling from the sky
I believe the sun, woul have dried them all away
And If teardrops, were like morning dew drops, when I cry
The winds would have dried them, from my face
But each waking hour, you're right there on my  mind
Oh! why, why did you leave your memories behind 

Today, I still see you walking away, into the sun
I still hear those words, you said, through your tears
Guess I'll never be alone, guess my happy days are done
I know you'll never return, guess my life has been run
"Cause when I close my eyes, you're right there on my mind
Oh! why, why did you leave your memories behind


Details | Free verse | |

acceptance

I can't accept it I won't accept it..this world is full of pain and suffering?
why do we suffer,why do we stand by and watch the suffering.
my tears are like a new moon's light,where am I?who am I..am I just a image
of my demise.
maybe this world is a dream,a sad story..another chapter of dark and deep sadness.
let me close my eyes and take it away


Details | Lyric | |

Again

Again dark gray clouds are moving in over me
She turned away saying let me be
Again she has my heart playing with my brain
As loneliness has my tears falling like the rain

Again my days all feel like it's Monday
Painful memories left over from yesterday
Again my arms are hanging limp by my side
As the dark gray sky blocks the sunshine

Again she has the blues playing with my mind
And all of my dreams aren't treating me very kind
Again I can see her running up around the bend
As I watch her reaching out for someone else again

Again her lovely face is blurring my eyes
Her reflecting image telling so many lies
Again I want to forgive her and just hold her today
And make these gray rainy days just go away

Again I'm wearing these dark sunglasses
A new disguise for every day that passes
Again loneliness is showing what I'm trying to hide
Oh again she's having her way with my pride

Again she has the blues playing with my mind
And all of my dreams aren't treating me very kind
Again I can see her running up around the bend
As I watch her reaching out for someone else again

Again I can see her running just up around the bend
As I watch her reaching out for someone else again


Details | Free verse | |

Fate

Venom laced words
Is all the world
Feeds the weak
But I can taste the brutal decay
Of all the slain souls
Now buried in the deep
Look through the eyes of the Taken
You will see this tainted world
You will see you’re mistaken
Those are not happy tears
They are laced with blood
No one feels a thing
They have all gone cold
And gone numb
You feast your eyes
On a beautiful Shamrock Shore
But instead I see waves of black
Swimming along are the snakes of wrath
Those sweet little lullabies
Causing you to sleep
They wake up the Demons
You are their feast
When will you stop?
Looking through the eyes of faith
Take a look through my eyes and see
Those born of innocence...
Their true damned Fate


Details | Free verse | |

A Widower's Depression

The encumbrance of
life
Copious and
never-ending
A leaching
gangrenous wound
In need of
dismemberment
From his torpid soul

The medicinal
elixirs have raped
the mind
And replaced it with
a dense syrup 
That makes
cognition, onerous 
He cares for nothing
Feels nothing—is
nothing

A means to an end
Has him captivated
Fixated on the task
Relief is at hand
But he lacks the
strength and courage


Details | I do not know? | |

NO LOVE POEMS

i tried to write a love poem today
but i did not know the correct way
my words do not come out in that form
my heart is like a never ending storm
i write about death, about blood and tears
about secrets, pain and threatening fears
about the joy of dying
and how the world keeps lieing
love is not in my vocabulary, or in my mind
it's a lost cause something i'll never find
my heart is eched with rock and ice
nothing in there ever comes out nice
nothing i write can make you smile
it's as if my mind is created of pure hostile
i want to feel love to let my words kind of flow
but i can not write about something that i do not know
i feel no pity no sadness no sorrow
i even pray often for no tomorrow
words so perfectly wrote so caring and loving
can not come from a mind that's constantly shoving
shoving words of hatred or ill dismay
of no sunshine and hopeing it would stay this way
they can't they won't they do not know how
they try they look and they understand now
for you see dark minds think of dark things
of words that pierce you that make your eyes sting
sting with tears and fears and haunting pasts
of things that you could have only wished to last
reality it hurts it bites you in the heart
and i know my words can tear you apart
i can not apologize for what i write
or because my world is not at all bright
i can not apologize for my words of hate
but if i do not write them now, tomorrow might be too late...


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Alas! I am lost in this darkness of night
Where is the virgin moon to grant me its purity?
The fireflies of night to guide me?
All I see is the darkness that embraced me
And the black shadows walking around
I am struggling to move around in this darkness
Sometimes I stumble over obstacles
I can’t identify these collapsed entities
As I am blinded by the darkness
I shout for help but get no response
The shadows floats past by me 
Like soulless and cold ghosts 
The entire domain is hushed
No! I am mistaken for I receive something
Several feeble sounds of cries and mourning? 
Terror gathers upon me
I can’t realize the act but just hear
For darkness has blindfolded me


I kneel down upon my wounded knees
To plead to Thee for guidance
Maybe a helping hand
Or a light to reveal the way
Oh! Father please guide me! 
I am lost in this darkness of night!


Details | Free verse | |

Abusive Love

Cold case lover, how I loved you so!
You always mattered
But, you never believed me!
You were my every desire
You were everything to me!
Looking through your eyes
Jaded with jealousy and envy
You laid your hands upon me
Acting out your emotional
And bitter pain
“Why were you so mean spirited?"
“Who messed with your mind?"
How can you kneel before me, now
Pleading me to forgive you
As, you bawl your eyes out

Your relentless begging
Over and over
You keep playing mind games, with me!
Begging me, for mercy
To come back,
One, last, time...

With my swollen eyes
Broken bones
Twisted up, insides
My heart is torn!
“Are you a dead man walking?"
“Do you not ‘feel’ no more”?
Will I get to see tomorrow’s sunrise
If, I stay another day with you...

Playing Russian roulette with my life
I am terrified, I am petrified!
My eyes are blind
My heart too forgiving!
But, I am not leaving.

“Will I become a cold case murder, one day?"
I wonder...
At the hands, of my own stupidity!
“What will you do on that day, dear lover?"
“Will you lie and be deceitful?"
“Will you hide things?"
Just like, you did from me!

Will, you ‘vow’ devotedly
You did it all in the name of ‘Love?'
Will you brag about
Your ‘bitter, sweet victory?
Open wounds
Bleeding soul
Release me free
From this man’s betrayal!


Details | Rhyme | |

Faceless Visions

Stepping out of the darkness
From a somewhat forgotten place
Steps what looks like a man
With everything but a face 
He steps out of a doorway 
Of an old rickety shack 
In torn up bloodstained overalls 
And a cowboy hat
He came off the porch 
In full stride 
I heard him whisper something in tongues 
And spit smoke when he walk by
A breeze of unpleasantness 
Came soon there after 
Followed by a strong smell of sulfur  
And intense laughter 
Then as the figure 
Got further away 
I saw him stop and turn around
And murmur my name
In voice I hadn't heard 
In a very long time 
It triggered a memory from my childhood 
Buried deep with in my mind
A one that id forgotten
And didn't know i had
As it came to me whose it was
It made me sad
Tears came to my eyes
And started to fall 
But turned to smoke 
When I started to ball
Then the door of that rickety shack
Flung wide open 
And i could see a bright black glow
Of a fire that was heavily smoking
And 2 glowing chains  
At lighting speed 
Grazed my face 
As it flew by me
They went threw the figure
And snatched him back 
Back into the fire
Of that rickety shack

    I don't know if that was the end of 
that dream or not I'll find out tonight. 
And just since your probably wondering who 
or what that figure is or who I think it is 
from the voice I heard I truly believe it is
my father who committed suicide when I was 10


Details | Rhyme | |

Rays Of Ligth Shine On Your Pit Of Darkness

When your sadness comes around
And your world is crashing down
Way faster than you can stop it
And your in a deep dark pit
That' is carrying you way under
And your brains starting to wonder
If a hand is gonna pull
You back up from all this bull
And out of the darkness that
Is making your heart go flat
Not beating with the full force
It is getting way off course
As your life is a big mess
You want to shout and confess
How much you need someone who
Is just as tortured as you
Joining together into one
Darkness broken by the sun
Now shining down with the rays
Of loves warmth to lead the way
Out of this pit your both in
Down a path to help you win
A lifetime of joy and peace
Slowly sorrow will decrease
Day by day smiles return
Lessons are now being learned
No matter how bad things seem
There's always a little gleam
Of hope somewhere that you'll find
When you need a little shine
 Of faith to help lead you down
A hidden path to be found
When the turmoil is too much
 To face alone and need the touch
Of another darkened soul
Who's been tortured by life's toll


Details | Quatrain | |

THE DARK SEA KISSED BY THE RADIANT MOONBEAMS

It's awfully quite at the end of August, placid fireflies
come out before the appearance of stars;
how tender, how beautiful are the rolling waves
in the dark sea kissed by the radiant moonbeams!



Absorbed in deep thought, I welcome another evening of solitude
with a peace that is more perplexing and intriguing than silence;
calmness stupefies, even more than the serenity inside...
do I need friends, if I have the company of the entire universe? 



Crystalline, clear water splashing and bubbling,
reaching the spot where I am profoundly thinking, 
bringing a soothing feeling after a very hot afternoon...
hoping not to lose the brilliance of the dotted moon!



Tired mind, rest and refresh yourself at sunrise,
detach yourself from the constant habit of searching and creating;
release the worries and rest, let fantasy spice up your fabulous stories...
thoughts that lead to pen, to finally become liberating!



On the glistening rocks, owls hoot in hunger and start attacking their preys...
the defenseless oysters try to get back into the salty water and be safe in the seaweeds,
but  they are caught by their claws, and with no strength left and blood in their eyes...
they die and their carcasses will be ripped apart and consumed by the ravens!   



Stop! Enough of this ugly spectacle! Let me turn the eyes to something truly delightful;
see the dark sea kissed by the radiant moonbeams to make this August' night really indelible!
A ship, with its thousands lights reflecting in the steady flow of the waves, is approaching;
the lighthouse's guard announces its arrival...oh, this scene is so fascinating! 


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Free verse | |

Crow

I look deep into the forest
On a cloudy rainy day
I see a crow perched on a dead willow tree
Staring at me, as if waiting
I stare back
Watching its dagger eyes
Pierce into my soul
I start walking towards it
I’m mesmerized
The beak chipped on the left
I continue to walk forward
A feather floats down from its side
And kisses the ground
A shriek bursts from the crow’s mouth
I proceed forward even with warning not to
With each step I take forward
The ground behind me turns to ash
The flowers wither
The sky turns black
But I cannot help but walk forward
I hear buildings being engulfed in flames
But I cannot look away
I can’t go back now
I feel so close
The crow is unmoving
My world is still burning
I’m so close I can feel it in my bones
I feel myself getting weaker
My world falling apart
But I keep going
I must reach the crow
Pulling me towards it
I look away for a moment
And I see all the destruction
I could have prevented
But it does not matter
I must finish what I started
I reach the tree
And there is no crow
Just a dead willow tree
I rest against the rotting trunk
And wait for a crow
That never returns
But I will never leave
No matter how much the world burns
Because one day that crow will return
And I will be here waiting
No matter how much my world burns
Even if I burn with it. 


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Moving on

I love you for what you were, but not for what you are.
Those days when I trembled at your soft touch, are so far
Away that they seem in the early mists of time.
You lit up my life because you were mine.

I remember when I met you
The joy of life was fresh, like the morning dew.
But the bond that made our friendship strong
Has been broken by your screams, our love has gone

How we have changed.
We can no longer bear each other’s sight.
A thief has not stolen our love on a dark stormy night.
But craftily, and with great stealth,
Our love has been robbed of its wealth.

Issues that are small
Appear large and tall.
Why can’t those dark clouds be brushed away
So that we may see the blue of a sunny day?

Alas! the time has come to move on.
Lately, my heart has lost it’s song.
My soul is chained with such misery
That it screams with anguish to be free.

The drums, that starts this frenzied beat
March up and down my mind’s street.
They pound, and thump to get my feet
To follow them, a new life to greet.

Around my head, their beat it goes
My cravings pulse, I tap my toes.
My mind is pulled with magnetic force
As I follow, wildly, on it’s course.

Our love, that once was much stronger
Pulls hard for me to tarry longer.
But hatred has replaced your lovely smile.
Now all you do is rant and rile.

That drum, that drum it comes again
It taps and rattles in my brain
It beats so loud. I’ll go insane
If peace and quiet do not reign

For onward, onward, I must go
A new life to lead, a new face to show.
Where Peace can come and set me free
From your screams and ferocity.

There comes a time, when we grow old
A brighter future can unfold.
Though bodies change, and movements slow
We can go forward, the past can go.

And in the twilight of my life
I need not live with hate and strife.
With those that fight I will be rude
I’ll play soft music in solitude.

When strife and worldly goals I leave
My peace of mind you cannot thieve.
Happiness and Heaven is my goal
I pray to God, I give my Soul.


Details | Free verse | |

The Grinch of the Unholy Mile

Drowning... 
I was drowning...
As I kept forcing in and out of the river...
The man in the black suit was holding me with mighty grip...
The man was not very simple...
He kept throwing me into the water...
The only thing heard was the splashes...
The mocking of the crow was my only company...
Only the crackle of dried leaves...
Only screams and dusty trees...
Left me being the only one to see...
As the man kept pushing me in...
The more and more I would condescend...
Every time my head would show...
His disgust with me was his only smile...
Was this the Grinch of the unholy mile?
I was the test of the new...
and still the rest is with the old...


Details | I do not know? | |

death be rest

I conceal my face and head
praying i was dead
I struggled to forget
But my heart would not let
I wasted my convincing
That you were real
I stopped praying
I'm now shattered down
Sitting on the ground
I once thought life would go on
But it all turned out wrong
I decided to give it a last shot
Only it wasn't worth the fought
I now have a gun and knife 
Deciding if i should take my life
I slash my wrists
And shoot my head
My body falls to the floor
I now lay in a puddle of blood
Forever put to rest


Details | Lyric | |

A Little Child

Tonight a little child lays in her bed and cries
Her little fingers, clinging to her favorite teddy bear
Her blanket soak and  wet, where she lies
For she was alone one more night, with her tears

Her mommy's left, for another night on the town
As she lays alone, in the darkness and her tears
Inside her tiny chest, she hears a little sound
As the dark quiet room, brings out her little fears

A little child left alone, a baby
Two little arms reaching out, to be held
Another Angel lays crying, for her mommy
As her whimper turns her tone, into a wale

As the lonely dark night, turns into day
Her restless soul catches up, to the man
He takes her little hand and leads her away
For her journey in life, has been ran

Her innocence all gone, scars left on her skin
Her face now blue, veins broken and torn
She was just a little Angel, that could never win
For she was pushed aside, since the day she was born

A little child left alone, a baby
Two little arms reaching out, to be held
Another Angel lays crying, for her mommy
As her whimper turns her tone, into a wale


Details | Ballad | |

Don't pull me up

When we first got together
we where dying to evade the
vicious cycle of mistakes that
both of us had made.
but we culddn't figure it out so
we fall out of a lovers embrace.

Don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand
Don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
Sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand

Im lying here in shadows
hiding from all my mistakes
yet they always seem to find me and
it seems like i can never catch a break
memories that haunt us they're
replaying all of our fates giving
me an uneasyness that i can't
seem to shake!

don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand.
don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand

i know you've given me all
the sympathy that you think that i'm
allowed. don't you know that it's killing me
yes your killing me
but i cannot let you down
i'm gonna get up
even if it's on my own
i think i've had enough
i'm no longer yours too drown.
let are hands part now i must
go away!

Don't pull me up
i might just break your hands
sometimes we need to fall back down
for us to understand
don't pull me up
don't pull me up
i need to understand!


Details | Free verse | |

Walk Away

Walk Away

Knock on the door
See who answers
Will you like
The face you see
Is it pain
Sad memories
Close the door
How do you feel
Lost and sad
Nowhere to go
Turn away
What does it mean
It means you are walking out on me.

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

Pain's Torturous Fate

Conquest by everything dark and dismal
Fortress of the deep runs black and deadly
Horrors brought to the surface burns
Try to hide behind the churning blanket
The dark hole bleeds with endless souls
And corrupted bleak pained hated eyes
Terrify even the most glorious heroes
Maybe hell would be a vacation from this fate
Horrid pains plague the hearts of the wary
Torture leads those lost to the gates of destruction
Never will I tarry anywhere near terror
Maybe someday I’ll get out of this fiery death

Russell Sivey


Details | Blank verse | |

Shadow

As a dark and depressing hollow veil, it walks beneath me unaltered It stalks when I move Stays still with me too The color I wear, my emotion, my thought Hold same blank impervious gaze in it Is it a reminder of an unhealed wound? Or the fore teller of a looming catastrophe In my lonely nights, there is a recurring illusion of two gleaming eyes peering at me Devilish smile and dark hands engulfing me As the last ray of light flickers and dies But my spirit and faith still remain unbeaten That which cannot be shaken That which remains and battles until the last ray of hope dies down..


Details | I do not know? | |

fear doesnt belong with me

I never grew in poverty, or without a stroke of love.
Still I hold my tears at night, but what am I afraid of?
The dark of night can welcome dreams, but dark thoughts come with time.
Maybe fear comes with knowing that these thoughts are only mine.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dark Life

I know it’s wrong to ask but why me?
What have I done? I can't really see,
But you make it so easy for me to think evil,
So easy to make me be friends with the devil,
So dark is my mind now, it makes the black hole seems like the sun,
Nothing but darkness, evil, hatred, anger, all except fun,
If I was to listen to my mind, I would be now hanging from a tree,
That would be less painful than life, I would just be free,
If the world was to supposedly end,
I would die knowing that my life can't be mend,
If only you were in the place I am in,
U would see that all in my vision is sin,
The thoughts in my head should be illegal to think,
So to kill the thoughts, pull the trigger at my head, don't blink,
Because if u do, you'll probably miss,
And that would leave in this deep dark abyss,
It makes no more sense of my tears to let you see,
I would just leave this life and let you all be,
But there's just one spot of light in my life,
And it’s my lover, the one to make my wife,
If it wasn't for her I would now be dead,
Laying in a coffin resting my head,
She is the only thing I am living for,
But the house of darkness in my life, she can't close the door......


Details | Cowboy | |

Deadwood Hill

(At Wild Bill Hickok’s Grave)

Those bold Black Hills of South Dakota,
Darkly murmur of all your Badlands—
You have left now like the Lakota—
On that hillside your monument stands.

Hills pulse under Ponderosa pines—
Strong night breezes have yet much to say—
Legends linger on lips and pale shrines—
They know that Wild Bill once passed this way.

You sleep long in this last resting place,
That now overlooks sinful Deadwood—
It is here that we still see your face,
Yet ponder if you were bad or good.

They moved your petrified form it’s said—
Casket opened, though some thought it wrong—
Your dark face yet perfect, though long dead—
Your fair hair still so flaxen and long.  

Jane Cannary lays mute beside you—
A calamity that is no more—
As you study those cards in the blue—
Play that dead man’s hand from a far shore.

Saffron leaves and stern winds shape your grave—
And your name’s one that we all know still—
As you raise dark death’s ante and save,
One last red ace to trump Deadwood hill.


Details | Pastoral | |

Lord's Singing

I heard my Saviiour,
At the dark gate of Gethsemane,
A wondrous song He sang,
And sweet to remember.

He said, I am in this,
Nearer to the Cup of Calvary,
Through which salvation,
Must come to all mankind,

All alone having been deserted,
I heard my Saviour sing,
In the greatest hour of His need,
In the dark Gethsemane.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Depression

It’s dark and lonely in my mind the light I can not see

Sounds are getting fainter there is no one here with me

Tears flow heavy like a late afternoon rain shower

I can hold them back no longer; I just do not have the power

My heart grows weary of the pain I feel more everyday

Neither pills, nor therapy can take this pain away

My tissue box is empty I’ve thrown it on the floor

Even knowing that I have no energy to go and get some more

This feeling drains my body, my mind and all my soul

I wait and wonder will it end and once more I can feel whole

Away inside my mind I’m lock until I am released

Depression has a hold on me when will this torture cease

The pain I feel is not just mental, for on my body toll is taken

The dark cloud hangs above me and these feelings can not be shaken

Depression has a hold on me when will this torture cease?


Details | I do not know? | |

Wicked Gift

I don’t know what I’m meant to say,
To make this feeling go away,
This aching pain and lonely love,
For my daughter and son above.

There little faces I can see,
In my mind so vividly,
Smeared with blood and crying loud,
But this pain I can’t say aloud.

I wish they could be at peace,
Seated up in heavens feast,
Not condemned to wonder on,
For something they have not done.

It seems to me that God is cruel,
And there for He’s not fit to rule,
To let my babes burn to dust,
Because of their parents lust.

I will save them if I can,
Even if I’m asking Pan,
To take my babes and make them sleep,
Even if this makes me weep.


Details | Free verse | |

Once More

I'm folding paper airplanes
I know will never fly,
Crumple them after
And I'm missing 
The basket every time,
I'd say I'm off center;
The earth isn't rotating
The way it should;
Something is off kilter,
She is gone,
Killed her heart
Driven to suicide,
Soul released
Like a flame put out,
But she took part of me
With her dying breath,
I'm a desert barren;
No rainy clouds
No breezy sun,
Just cold as death
Within me,
Where did she go?
Though I know the answer,
I'm neglecting it,
She'll never be back
And all I can do is reminisce,
Memories refresh,
Gloss over her pictures;
Cry at her laughter
I won't hear again;
Might as well give up
All my senses,
What use is it all
If I can't see her once more...


Details | Free verse | |

Haaotia

The Haaotia first came when you were young

Crawling into your presence cleverly
disguised in the skins of your own blood, 
they began to tell you their lies 

They told these lies in soft voices, 
the voices with the same timbre and 
tone you'd come to trust, they'd chuckle
in the same cheerful way that you'd heard
so many times in the light, when you were young

Even in the dark, you could see the smiles
on their terrible faces, as they told you not
to be afraid,  the same smiles that
before, had lifted your heart and 
made you laugh, when you were afraid

Telling their lies to you behind those 
familiar smiles; with their soft voices 
and chuckles, they were such friendly, 
cheerful demons,  so familiar, so familiar
even their smell and their touch was familiar

How could you be afraid of the Haaotia?

But, you were afraid  and so you kept quiet,
with all the smiles and chuckles and smells
and touches in the dark, you were so quiet,
because you were very afraid of them
finding the others, the younger ones 

You found a way to leave your body to keep quiet; 
in your mind you went elsewhere, somewhere 
far, far away from there, far from the familiar smiles 
and soft voices and chuckles

Far away from the smells and the touches in the dark,
as far as you could go, to places with no name
in your language, places the Haaotia couldn't know

When you'd come back, they were always gone, 
their smiles and chuckles and smells were gone,
but the feel of their touches never left you

The feel has never left,  it may never leave

Because the Haaotia, 
with their familiar smiles
and soft voices and chuckles

Touched your soul


Author's notes:
Haaotia is a Beothuk (Native North American language) word for demon.
This was written for someone that I loved very deeply who suffered terribly at the hands of their own loved ones. 
I dedicate it to them and anyone else who has felt the terrible touch of their own Haaotia


Details | Lyric | |

The Day The Angels Came

I see her image sitting over there, all alone
Streaming tears running down her cheeks, on her face
Her soft little whimpering voice, a babies tone
I remember when she said c'mon daddy, let's have a race
It was her first time that she played, in the yard outside
I still recall her great big smile, on her tiny face
And the tears that ran down her cheek, when she cried
Because she tore her brand new dress, with the pink lace

She always was my little Angel, my only child
But I still cry when I remember, how mommy died giving birth
But those pains somehow went away, when my baby smiled
Oh how it was so cute that day, she caught a fish
It was only three inches long, but to her it was just something sticky
And how she loved taking flowers, to her Mommy's grave
She always made me smile and laugh, when she said daddy
Mommy's stone needs some paint, that it's old and gray

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky
And how the day was dark, when we buried her
Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face
In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

My heart did break that dreadful day, by a truck
As she ran out to get her ball, into the street
And when I picked her up she hugged my neck, where she was struck
I held her so tight to me, rapped in a sheet
She said daddy it'll be o.k., as I wiped blood from her feet
She said mommy says we'll be waiting, with God in heaven
I'll never forget how my heart was broke, there in the street
That day I lost my pride and joy, to some drunken men

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky
And how the day was dark, when we buried her
Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face
In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Is a sad song, Not a true story


Details | Rhyme | |

one-ten

One broken person
Two sad eyes
Three painted fingernails
Four attempts of suicide
Five fingers shaking
Six sad tears
Seven beautiful drawings
Eight screams of fear
Nine prayers at night
Ten sins a day
One broken person, has nothing left to say


Details | Free verse | |

Ashes To Ashes

Like a moth to the flame,
I long for the pain.
Just to feel...real.
As many times as I'm seared,
I just keep coming back.
Broken and scarred past all redemption,
There is no salvation for the damned...
Falling deeper into my tortured soul,
The pain burns so good...


Details | Free verse | |

My Biggest Accomplishment

For you are forsaken
My soul you've taken
For I'm just a foolish girl
Who doesn't have what it takes to last in this world
You words insulting
For when I escape, it will be exulting
From you and everyone
Your biggest mistake here was thinking I was the one
To just let things go
Not anymore
I'm done


Details | Free verse | |

the hardest time

This was the lowest point in my life
The biggest mistake I made
I picked up a knife
& took away my pain with the blade

I covered it up
So no one would see
But a few of the scars have stuck
So I’ll never be free

I wish I could take it back
But it was the only way I knew how to cope
I’m ashamed of this part of my past
But my heart was broke

Family weren’t around
I was all alone
Even when I was feeling down
I wouldn’t let it be known

Until the day social workers walked in and saw me doing it
They talked to me and offered me help
But at the time I didn’t see anything wrong with doing it
I was hurting me and nobody else

It was like the knife was a friend and meant a lot to me
But eventually it got on top of me
I looked in the mirror and got to see
Everything I tried so hard not to be

It became so much more sinister
I became addicted to the pain
I needed to do it
In order for me to remain

I fell in love
At the sight of my own blood
No matter which way I looked at it
I knew this couldn’t be good

I couldn’t go a day without doing it
I was doing it almost every hour
I was going insane I was losing it
But it gave me strength and power

It came to a point I went too far
And almost got sectioned
I could cover my scars
But couldn’t hide my depression

I knew I needed to change
I put the knife down
It was the hardest thing to do
I didn’t know if happiness would be found

Here I am 3 years clean
No longer a slave to the knife
It feels like a dream
I overcame the biggest mistake in my life 


Details | Free verse | |

Give up Fight

You always seem
To wander into my dreams
But I love you too much
To ever call you my fiend
Biggest mistake I ever made
Put my heart on a stake
Only to watch it drain
Of every bit of life left
I was blinded in my false fame
Regretful, I lay here dying
To be in your arms is what I'm crying
Cold and helpless I have not a soul
Because without you I have not a home
Cannot escape my mistake as I lay awake
Shattered my heart seems
For his annihilated state
How much more can I take?
Never want to sleep again
I know what I have done
All I can see is your sweet eyes
I give up, only to run
So take my heart and bleed it dry
Take my soul, feed it to the night
I cannot go on, I give up fight
For my only fear
Is not being with you
At the end of my life.................


Details | Rhyme | |

Risen, Risen From The Dead

Risen, Risen From The Dead



Lazarus, your return does so shock
life emerges from under a dark rock
Yes, rest again in the peaceful shade
cut no more hearts with your blade

No silver bullet shall ever you strike
do just as you wish and so falsely like
Yes, the glee is your addiction on rails
others felt pain and saw not your scales

Why, why play such a morbid , dark game
is not your heart grieving to still maim
Ahh, the power to hurt others and deceive
such treachery is not genius to conceive

Lazarus, what have you so falsely gained
when your honor you've desperately defamed

Robert Lindley 11-22- 2014


Details | I do not know? | |

Is It Not Glamorous When God Plays With Puzzles

I tried to calm a pearly anger fed with steroids
the squid of progress buried me in oceanic white
now the fluids hospitalize my veins once more and a arm
once upon a midnight eve where no santa came to pay me presents

within this tapestry of fluent self destruct amid
your always smiling words of caress that eye a lie in me
telling me existence is worth the unit price not the store brand
how can you defie the snowflake of your life
when its upside down, abusing and reusing a resource so invalid

lets play crouchet with these iron gates we call heaven
stepping on the staircase so golden, like cheddar cheese
in the spring time rainy days is your death device
on a rainy season is your clutch to provide a piece of the puzzle
take the puzzle of your chest and fall to pieces parts
and god, with his open eyes, closed up chin, partially ruptured head
he'll scream you to earth like a roller coaster
telling and keeping up with your fucking score on life
as your soul turns into a muffin casing in your bodie
muffin casing for your minds appeal

child, this tempting notion to drag the cigarette on each day
is burning the ends of the rope down to where you can't climb
to where you can't heal the pains which attempt to bowel
so orgasmic to kill yourself it may so seemingly taste
but the varied mistake is ultimately a letter not found on a jacket
a empty life not written on plain white paper

your shoes are barely wet on the beach
on the sands of time, it grizzles your hair strands faintly
look up to a sky full of potential absolution
its a starry dream worth more exploration then you think you know
is it worth to throw your quarters at or will you burn
burn your dollar bills of memory, experiences, breaths, friends, family and love



Details | Free verse | |

LITTLE DIME

LITTLE DIME

An audible and humanly painful sound
Is left by the dime in a small tin box.
The echo of its poverty hovers in the air
As a constant warning to the world.
If the dark shadows of solitude
Would proudly rule the boy's little empire
(for a child without a window into the world,
everything is a fairy tale),
His sad and ill mother
Would weave the quilt of her life;

An audible and humanly painful sound
Is left by the dime in a small tin box.
The boy's ill mother,
Known as a quilt maker,
Calls out with a new painful sound,
Not as a curse,
But as her faith;
 
An audible and humanly painful sound
Is left by the dime in a small tin box.
Whose is the hand who put that dime
Into the boy's mother trembling hand?
The hand of a stranger?...
The hand of a missionary?...
The hand of a child?...
The hand of some wonderful angel?...
Whose hand cared so much
For the hand of his sad ill mother?

An audible and perfectly human sound
Is left by the dime in a small tin box.
The dime is reverberantly singing in its small tin box,
Royally proclaiming
- As if it was a golden coin -
"Do not worry, my friends,
Hunger shall not cross your doorstep
As long as you have me!"
 
An audible and humanly painful sound
Is left by the dime in a small tin box.
How many dreams, prayers and hopes
Did the boy's mother weave
Into the quilt of her life?...
These questions mutely knock against the face
Of many of their dark nights;

An audible and humanly painful sound
Is left by the the boy's tear in a small tin box.
The memories have long since trapped
The boy's mother's quilt of life in their silky web;
The memories have long since trapped
The boy's mother's small tin box;
The memories have long since trapped
All of the boy's late mother's deaf tears,
The little dime's sound long since died down.

  
©Walter William Safar
  
  




Details | Light Poetry | |

A Dark Hidden Comfort

For my life that is not beyond repair,
I flee to a place where I become lost,
But am thankful to it.

I cannot be found,
Nor do I want to be found.

I slip away willingly
Into the dark hidden comfort of obscurity
To the point of where I am almost 
Consumed by a dark force similar to death.

Death is easy, but life is hard,
So I tend to keep to myself
As so on one knows i'm gone.

The Death of my life Drains my Soul as
I Bleed from my Heart, pouring out into
The Deep Beyond of the Universe.

The dark hidden comfort acting as
A blanket of safety, even if it sounds morbid.


Details | Pantoum | |

If She Only Knew

Her veil had become painted with dark misery
As once what was bliss, has now disappeared
The dreams with this man were faded and dreary
Her love turned quickly to hate and to fears

As once what was bliss, has now disappeared
His hands became weapons, stabbing at her heart
Her love turned quickly to hate and to fears
Now knowing from this life, she now must depart

His hands became weapons, stabbing at her heart
He was no longer the man she thought she had known
Now knowing from this life, she now must depart
She prays to find a life she can call her very own

He was no longer the man she thought she had known
The dreams with this man were faded and dreary
She prays to find a life she can call her very own
Her veil had become painted with dark misery


Details | Free verse | |

Open To Suggestions

Leaves brown and broken lay upon the ground,
Reminiscent of my scarred heart.
Slowly dying day after day.
Winter winds blow; shredding what's left.
These leaves will never be reborn.
And I...there is no salvation for one such as I...


Details | Free verse | |

Title Not Chosen Yet

Words whispered on winds so cold, 
Left over from days grown old.
Promises made and regrets spoken,
In the I am broken.
On these winter winds I drift, 
Through tears and memories do I sift. 
Searching for myself amongst shattered pieces; as brittle as glass.

And I wonder what happened to me,
To the child I once was and the woman I am now?
Now I am downing in the seas of my regrets,
My distress calls grow ever fainter.
As I give up and sink into the cold chaos of my soul...



I am open to suggestions for a title for this poem.


Details | Free verse | |

Veil of Obscurity

I'm hiding behind this,
Veil of obscurity,
Because I don't want people,
To see who I really am,
This veil of obscurity is like a mask,
A mask that hides my true emotions,
I may smile and laugh with my friends,
But behind this veil of obscurity,
I'm lonely, sad, and depressed,
I strive to show the real me,
But I hide behind this,
Veil of obscurity,
Because I'm scared of being rejected,
By my friends and family,
So I hide behind this,
Veil of obscurity,
Hoping that someday I can stop hiding behind this,
Veil of obscurity,
And show the real me,


Details | Free verse | |

Angel Wings

Oh...shredded wings
           on sad eyed Angels...
collecting tears 
           from pain
Replace your flight 
into the night
       with wings of 
            gentle rain

Celestial blue... 
         with crimson shade
will serve to just inspire
Smile, pretty Angels
          smile....
         ....just fly...
    and never tire.....

Don't worry of earth
        or the dark clouds 
            brewing
for the tempest will 
            disappear....
The crooked storms
away like sand 
                so....
dry those salty tears

Oh...shredded wings 
               on sad eyed Angels....
restore your former glory
Fly the flight of innocent
and breathe 
             this Angels story

Once was lost.....
but now am found.....
amid the dark and gray.....

Fly the flight 
        into the night
to find the wasted years
Shed the weight 
             of not so great
and dry up Angel tears....

Oh....shredded wings
Oh....shredded wings

Fly again, just Fly!


Details | I do not know? | |

Game of Chess

Along came a black horse
rider non existent
fire in his eyes life no longer
see the devil smile as his horse grew younger
see the devil cry as his horse grew fonder
sat a lonely boy in his path
eyes of water lit to wrath
boy stood up as wings were cast
the dark horse turned grey as light did pass
see the angel smile as the boy grew older
see the angel smile as the boy grew wonder
horse came a halt eyes still a glaze
boy flew above the dark horses maze
fire from his eyes erupted through the air
the boy inhaled as the fire turned to tears
the young boy now a man
the fire inside him as turned his hand
from giving to a fist no longer will stand
as the horse now in air flying with the man
the waltz of life now on demand
the man and horse now riding through land
turn to each others repromand
the boy grew dark and eyes now steam
the horse grew white and wings through the beam
see the devil smile as his horse won the fight
see the angels smile as their boy won the might


Details | Free verse | |

darkness befalls me

scared, alone
broke down on dark highway
creepy willows, hover over me
waiting for a sign of headlights
but to no avail-none
i debate to walk
slowly creeping through woods
fog thicker than lard
water gushing in open-toed shoes
till i see a dim light
wooded cabin tucked away
shadowed by redwoods
i knock-no answer
i enter cautiously
sit by fireplace as i 
remove my wet shoes
there's a towel hung over rocking chair
as if waiting for methen it hits me
i've been here before
locked in a closet
by some crazed maniac
i slowly step to the closet door
turn the knob
crouched in corner
scared, alone
looking into my eyes
another young soul
taken before her time
i retrace my steps
and remember when i was 16
driving down this dark highway
when my car broke down
thinking someone would help
waking to being tied and tortured
till i no longer breathed
scared and alone

karen croft


Details | I do not know? | |

last entry

'This is it. My last entry. I have no more words left to say. I want to thank all the people in my life that I enjoyed and gave me their time. I had a great time, but now it's time for me to go. This path that I'm about to go down no one can help me, no one can hear me, or see me. I have demons inside me that I can't battle with anymore. I've given up, thrown in the white flag. Everyday you've haunted me, wanting my soul, wanting me to join you, go on your side. You've beckoned me in my dreams, called my name in reality while not being around, you've taken me to the deepest, darkest part of the world and trapped me there unable to get out. I've been in the dark most of my life, not able to see the faintest of light. Not one speck of the sunrise entering just darkness all around, engulfing me, strangling me until I finally give in. This depression has taken a life of its own and has come over me like a dark cloud that just won't go away. These demons just won't go away, won't leave me alone, I just can't escape them. So I'm going to take the red pill instead of the blue. And when I close my eyes for the last time may everyone be in peace.


Details | I do not know? | |

last entry

'This is it. My last entry. I have no more words left to say. I want to thank all the people in my life that I enjoyed and gave me their time. I had a great time, but now it's time for me to go. This path that I'm about to go down no one can help me, no one can hear me, or see me. I have demons inside me that I can't battle with anymore. I've given up, thrown in the white flag. Everyday you've haunted me, wanting my soul, wanting me to join you, go on your side. You've beckoned me in my dreams, called my name in reality while not being around, you've taken me to the deepest, darkest part of the world and trapped me there unable to get out. I've been in the dark most of my life, not able to see the faintest of light. Not one speck of the sunrise entering just darkness all around, engulfing me, strangling me until I finally give in. This depression has taken a life of its own and has come over me like a dark cloud that just won't go away. These demons just won't go away, won't leave me alone, I just can't escape them. So I'm going to take the red pill instead of the blue. And when I close my eyes for the last time may everyone be in peace.


Details | Free verse | |

Search engine of the soul

The shaking starts as I think of our past together, as the mental
machinery shudders into action, an organic search engine that chews
through the years looking for clues, as my heart shudders in rhythm 

I choke on these very words, as they run from my heart onto the page,
my tears, the salty lubricant keeping the wheels of torment spinning
in my head, churning out these feelings that will not seem to abate

Our pain was like an avalanche, crashing and smashing everything
that lived on the mountainside of our life together, until it finally 
obliterated the tiny place of hope that we'd built at the bottom

It sits there now, the detritus of a love left out in the cold too long;
frozen to reduce the risk of fire, a fire that had burned out so long
before, that even the sparks of tragedy could no longer set it alight

A wrecking ball of anguish, the agony of two damaged souls clinging
to one another for so long, that they'd pulled the skin off in those
spots where their fingers had clutched at the others battered heart

Perhaps it would have been easier for one to have ripped the heart 
from the other, straight away, ripped it bloody and beating from their 
chest so as to sooner end this unending flood of torment for both
 
I cannot bear to look at the smoking pile of emotional debris that 
remains, lying atop the memories that were hurtled to the bottom, 
to be buried once and forever; only to keep poking out in the light 

And yet, I must look; I can't look away, guilt won't let me turn my face
fully to the light; what if/what if, my brain asks, when my thoughts turn
quiet in the night, questions the mind strings like a boolean algorithm

Do you cry still, when you hear the roar in your dreams? Have you
found a new memory to dream of, or are your dreams now, of the other
side of the mountain, where, with hope, a new fire is being lit?

I pray that you aren't still looking, as I am, at the underside of your
soul, searching for answers that may never be found, for reasons, 
when there are none but the winds of fate that blew us together


Details | Free verse | |

Frigid waters

He watched her die from a measured distance;
carefully calibrated and guaranteed to keep the
anguish from reaching his throat with its
steely fingers and choking the remaining
compassion out of his cowardly body

Sharp eyes still taking in the carnage despite
the geographical buffer; keen ears recording the 
groans and words of regret across the coaxial moat; 
soul silently feeling the judgment being passed and
sentence being executed

From this frigid place, separated by an icy sea of tears,
across the frozen wasteland of old regrets,
deep below the tundra of disappointments,
fossilized in the permafrost of a broken heart,
he coldly watched her die 


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Fantasy

In fantasy, we're Dagwood and Blondie,
Never aging a single day,
With a dog who is destined to be ever young
And children teenagers to stay. 

No sad war nor big problems to plague us
We live in disaster free world.
Dagwood's dark head never loses a hair,
Blondies tresses are perfectly curled.

I fancy we live in the comics
And no longer have difficult days.
If dark clouds roll in, they roll out again
And we're basking in sunshiny rays.

I did not receive that sad phone call,
Telling me that I'm now on my own,
That my children have lost their loved father
And I am to raise them alone.

In my dreams we now live in the comics,
Where each Sunday's a new day of laughter.
My love did not die and I need not cry.
We're together forever and after.


Inspired by Christy's challege


Details | Romanticism | |

Mornings wake

Down a long dark road
Stands a girl longing for him to hold
Waiting there in the cold
Her world is turned inside out
And she's left to wonder what is love really all about
She sees it in her minds eye but still has some doubt
She feels a sensation that cannot be hidden throughout                                               
Yet she don't quite hold it in her hands
And to her things just get washed away like words written in the sand
But she still holds on tightly to hope and fate
Praying always that it's never to late
And down that long dark road for him she will wait
Until the day she can see clearly the path she needs to take
And the decisions she alone needs to make
Her heart to him she knows she will forever forsake
Every night and each mornings wake


Details | Free verse | |

Jack, Johnny, and Me(repost)

So sad are days in this bitterness
and bitterest cold outside
Gone are friends and leaves 
and grass.
The walls are mocking me, laughing
I can feel me hating me with a passion
This is one of those dark days
I see them at play
The demons who play hell
Casting doubts and leaving
agony in the wake of sunrise
Until this day and I rest again
We will bear it like shackles
dragging loud chains
I will listen to music that worsens it.
I'll drink to the pain, as Im numbing it
Jack Daniels is no friend of mine
  just a confidant in the worst of times
There is no solace in this bottle
Only places to run and hide.
So today I hid from shadows and the sunshine
not letting one loom behind me
        or the other sting my eyes
Contemplating and making sad compilations
mixing and blurring memories
blend them into one absolute emotion
I'll wallow in this today
Looking at a distorted reflection
  it stares back from a whiskey meniscus
Johhny Cash murmured in the background
 smoke wafts through, plumes like lengthy
ghost fingers
  The sun will set on a day like this
It will creep back beyond the waterline
lighting clouds in surrealistic colors
Closure, comfort, and serenity seep in
This was one of those dark days
I grabbed it by the neck 
and conquered it
Jack, Johnny, and Me...


Details | Free verse | |

Light In The Darkest Moment - A Collaboration

I think I was born to be a frog, 
Staring across the lake, Into the distant horizon.
Or a lonely wolf, howling Into the cold moon face,
Seeking the comfort of warm beauty 
Tears. The star lighting dreams of lost Souls, silver lining clouds
On the cows back, over the milky way
And back. All I know deep Inside, Love makes
The world go around, sweet , beautiful, In every
living, breathing hour, makes life complete.
I think I was born to be an eagle,
Soaring on the wind currents, my eyes surveying all below
Or am I mere shadow, a Dark entity,
Seeking the comfort of Love, a Soul of light.
A Soul trapped In anguish, In a night world of shadows,
Embracing but shadows of reality, a Soul crying for light.
Love heralds In the light, my Soul eagerly awaits,
The shadow shall one day be seen, as a man of light and Love.
'til then he shall mourn In his sorrow, always the eternal Dark Man.
 


Details | I do not know? | |

The Charming Bachelor

Look now here he comes
Taking a strole through the slumbs

He is alone in the garden of flowers
Using the moons enchanting powers

Ending all contact with most ladies
For his heart was broken in the cities

A girl who was to be his wife 
Cheated and caused all his strife

With a man of unknowing stature
Tall dark with eminent structure

Every night he excuses haunting dreams
Among the gardens beauty and light streams

He left the fiance' in his mansion
Coursing the man of her new passion

She tried furiously to find him after
But his note enclosed this dark chapter

The note brought her to tears
She couldn't find him for years.

But now her search has drawn her near
A beautiful seductress that is his fear

Her spell can no longer hinder my actions
Nothing further can sway my factions

this garden is my final just sanctuary
In hopes she fails and falls to the wary.

If I see her I will not speak
Just bow my head close my eyes and sleep

Closing my ears from her leathal rambles
Her emotions will end in infinite shambles

Her actions I will never forgive
I am ashamed for wanting to live

To feed her flame and her desire
I would go back and try to aspire

For this my heart tells me no more
Casting a shadow over feelings sore

Adjusting to life it seems
Conjuring old wants and dreams.


Details | Blank verse | |

Windows to nothingness

It's dark here in the folds of this life
i can't see here in the halls of my life
windows, I have been here tonight
doors,i... have brought to life
i cant hold onto what's in my hands
i can't taste whats in my mouth
i can't feel the love of my wife
it's dark here in the folds of my life

someone, please lead me out of this hell
i can't hear the sounds of that bell
it echoes through the space of my head
it really feels like i'm already dead
i can't listen to what my mind tells me to do
windows of a lifes past wrongs
doors that opened to what never belonged
it's dark here in the folds of this life


Details | I do not know? | |

Standing In The Dark

Standing in the dark I see my shadow looking at me. 
Standing in the dark I see my shadow reminding me why I am on  this earth. 
Standing in the dark I watch my life go by. 
Standing in the dark asking myself what am I doing to myself. 
Showing me the past is the past and to let go of all the pain and anger I carry 
inside. 
What happened to me in the past has changed me. 
Things that happened to me have changed the way I view life. 
When my grandpa died things got worse in house hold I lived in. 
One night a big fight happened I felt like there was nothing to live for. 
These people had brain washed my mom the only person I had in life. Standing 
in the dark I took a handful of pills before I realized the shadow of my grandpa 
was there. 
That is what stopped me from killing myself someone who cared for me. 
Standing in the dark somone comes to me and tells me things will get better with 
time. 
Standing in a dark room realizing the voice was my grandpa Earl. 
As time went on things got worse now accused of stealing they would search my 
room and take things that were not thiers. 
Upset I would stand in a dark room and I would slit my wrists. 
I felt like that was the only way to feel pain and it always made me feel better. 
Today things are getting better in a new home where I am able to have friends 
over. 
I also have my mom back. 
Standing in the dark starring at my shadow I realize life is the most important 
thing to have. 
Standing in the dark I have a new lease on life and people love me for who I am. 
Standing in the dark i see what my furture mybe like if I keep on living. Standing in 
the dark someone comes in saving me from the things I might do to myself. 
Standing in the light I ask for help.


Details | Rhyme | |

Sunset Serenade to the Midnight Requiem

Staying in the light now?
Is that what it's called?
Fear of the darkness?
Or what in it has crawled?

You lay in your bed,
clutching at your cover.
Do you fear to be dead,
or are in the gaze of another?

Do not fear what, in the darkness, may live,
all they want is fun.
For they never take more than they give,
So there is no need to run.

Only the Dark ones we are,
So why fear and make fuss?
You could go far,
once you've joined us.

We Dark ones are lovers,
of an unusual sort
Using our minds on others 
In our ways they contort.

Now join me my lovely,
Whilest the night is still young.
and then my lovely,
our Requiem will be sung.


Details | Acrostic | |

A Cold Dark Night

Abandoned soul lost in a tempestuous storm
Cascading raindrops stream down the window pane
Oblivious is she to her own mournful wailing
Leeches line up to lay claim on their investment
Darkness falls soundly, hollowing out the pit of her being
Dirty deeds done cheap cost her more than her life's worth
Abundant is her despair as she lay spread eagle in a trance
Retching pain sears a trail of unbearable anguish through her
Knight in shining armor rusted stiff in her backyard
Noble efforts faltered, too frozen is her spirit
Invincible is she to Love's embracing flame
Gone is her heart, forbidden fruit consumed by savages
Howl wind, Howl, sing a song of Misery
Tonight she is a ghost cast away amongst the shadows

A cold dark night
Chills run through me as I witness her plight

A cold dark night
Despair and heartache have made her cease to fight

A cold dark night
Her secrets exposed by the pale moonlight

A cold dark night
Sins more frightening than the blackest of nights

A cold dark night
This star's burning out; once shining so bright

A cold dark night


Details | I do not know? | |

Dark Side

and i'm floating away
floating over to the dark side
cant hold it in
i cant do it anymore
my strength has been sapped
my will to live killed
for when you left me
to be with her instead
you took the life right out of my heart
and so i stand here,
and watch you two together.
i hold in the tears till i have a shoulder to cry on
ill run to him just to cry.
and i need the strength you took from me
otherwise i wont be able to go on thru life
Now i'm stuck in the place in between
stuck where i cant ever be happy again
so please keep me from floating over to the dark side
cause i cant stop myself
and im floating away...


Details | Blank verse | |

Frozen

Depression is a lonely dark space where nothing flourishes.
It's dead and dark inside and out.
No room for thoughts or ideas.
No place for even a minute piece of sunlight.

It is an all encompassing feeling that eats at your heart and soul.
To those who have not yet wished for death, it is only a breath away.

Your head stays an empty abyss.
Your heart is as numb as a winter's day.
There's nothing there but an empty shell in which all emotions must remain 
bottled.

For the truly depressed "silence is golden".
It is the ultimate statement for "all" and "last" to hear.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hollow Plains

I see dark i feel dark as i fall.
it consumes me as i fall taking no chances.
I hear weeping sounds around me, i ask them
to stop but they dont.I curl up into a ball 
hoping that my falling has ended.Then i feel
the earth apon my body as i fall,i open my
eyes and see trees,birds,and the sun,i smile
as i look apon it all then i realize that
the world doesn't work as so,The death,the
pain and the hurt we all cause.its killing
all.i close my eyes and wrap my hands 
around my body and fall into a black 
hole that we created full of the demize,
the hate. Will the hate and demize ever end?


Details | I do not know? | |

Dark Cloud


As the pain rolls over my heart
Like a dark cloud of despair
Pouring drops of hate unto my soul

As the hate rises to drown me in
This ocean of desperation
I look for salvation and see nothing
But the cold blackness that surround me.

With not a flicker of hope to illuminate this dark and retched cloud
That hangs over my heart which consumes it with loneliness
For that is all that can be felt in the vast void of
This Dark Cloud of Despair

Jm12/29/2006



Details | Lyric | |

Eternity in a Riddle

So this dark redeems me
All the pain burns my hatred away
And as the sun becomes nothing
So does my sight turn to dust and decay

For the lust I’ve been wanting
For the wanting that lusts for my life
I proclaim my deception
For deception to pull you inside

Eternity in a riddle
The paradoxes that plague every noise
Too alive for the lessons
But far too dead to believe there’s a choice

And ever realising
That the world can not take what I am
For if I was to end this
I would awake with the strength of the damned

So this dark redeems me
All the silence you hold will be mine
And as the moon becomes nothing
So do my crimes eclipse the horror I find


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Truth

Press your thoughts to your mind’s eye.
Peer out through the blackness and grossness
Stuck to your skin like hot black tar
Burning your very being and leaving
It’s deep scars.

Your thoughts have betrayed you.
Focus hard now, for it’s time to think.
Veer back in painful realization and slam
The door on what you now must realize.

Panic strikes deep into your heart
And rips a gigantic hole in your selfishness
And you ache to take it all back inside,
To forget what you just seen like a bad
Mistake.

Voices outside speak the truth and drool
At the notion of your inner truth being revealed
Like a dirty secret.
It sits and taunts your every breath.
Your every word curses your very self-worth.

Murmurs at the backdoor of righteousness
Ooze into a plain color on a slab of coarse stone.
Marble perhaps, its beauty engrained in every 
Sweep of the Creators hand.
But you are not Marble.

Weak and transparent - the wind blows right
Through you and the sun burns your albino skin
You hid in the darkness behind your face.
Scratching your ugly sores that they created.
Murdering the thoughts that pervade your common sense.

Your closet overflows with bones of days gone by
And your true self  hangs dead from a rope binded by Pride.
A rope you created with your own hands.

You accept what you want to see and whip the
Truth back into its dark corner
Screaming and begging you to stop
It’s legs withered and its body old and worn
From years of beatings and abuse.

Truth will not tolerate the dark for long.
It needs the light to heal its wounds.

Think hard now.


Details | Free verse | |

The Dark Remedy

Feeling it in me,
I am touching its effect on me,
I am hearing it slither between my sins
I am carrying the dark remedy,

For years, searching for the cure,
But in me, the pain was pure,
My tormented heart would adapt the sorrow,
But it would continuously hurt,

Sometimes I would ignore,
Just to avoid seeing my heart sore,
But the pretending would always fail
And lead me into another trail
Of dimness,

Choices were never made,
Questions remain to be answered,
Confusion and incomprehensible thoughts,
Would always lead into more darkness,

I never understood the key to this pain,
For comprehension is obscured,
I desperately called for the remedy,
But it never was found,

Hopeless, I ended
Sadness, I befriended 
I lost all the optimism in me,
I lived on the edge,

A vague light
Created by my sufferings
Lived within me, and 
Made a difference,

THE DARK REMEDY,
I smelt it,
I felt it,
Inhabit my soul,
Venomously burning, leaving the cure I needed
Setting me free…


Details | Rhyme | |

Crimson kisses with a knife

I cut myself today to cure my bleeding eyes
To blindfold the tears and kill my fearing lies
I watched the crimson tears fall from my broken wrists
The dark angel came to give me a kiss
Water fell down his dark wings,
I seen the love of hell and with it brings
Satan and his angels to feed upon the soles of the living.
He killed my life and I let him
Fow what my child, for sin?
follow hells road in which my path lies.
My candle is long gone
and with you I sing the masters song
die to all my living creatures and love yet another time
for its now all mine and i give it away for death.
Love cheats my very existence and I kill for my last breath
You call this loves garden?  I named him Seth
I will steal you away and we die in the garden of the sinned
Kill me to save me.


Details | Free verse | |

Crayons

A small lonely child,  she sits and puts her crayons on the floor  
Separates colours into light and dark, happy and sad she muses 
Packs away all the bright happy crayons 
There's no room in life for such frivolity 
For all she sees is the dark looming 
Her rainbows are all coloured in deep blues and crimson 
There's no sun, no warmth, just a huge dark crescent moon 
Figures in her pictures have no eyes, they don't see her anyway 
She's invisible as if she exists on another plane

A single tear escapes her eye,  rolling silently down a tiny cheek 
She captures it in her hand, even her tears are colourless 
A true reflection of the emptiness within 
Picking up the happy crayons she tosses them away 
With them all her dreams and expectations 
She turns and walks away, no one notices 
Disappearing into the welcoming shadows 
Into that dark familiar place 


Details | I do not know? | |

Who am I

My life is a smokescreen
You can’t see me
I hide behind dark glasses
Of bright smiles and glee

You can’t find me
When you’re looking around
Because deep down inside me
That’s where I’m found

Down in the dungeon
Of damp dark despair
So don’t think you know me
Because I’m not up there

Where did I get lost?
I really don’t know
My life I wish gone
But I don’t let it show

The world is a cruel place
Of sharp pains and old hurts
It’s all of my memories
That keep in my thoughts


Details | Free verse | |

She Haunts

She slowly rises from her coffin
Making her way to the exit
The exit marks the beginning of this entity's solitary journey
Tears of blood stream down her face
Blood from all of the wars she has fought
An inquisitive eye can catch her battle scars 
Though she tries to keep them hidden
They are revealed to any genuine soul 
That crosses her path
That cares enough to inquire
Powerful emotions overcome her and guide her
She has to find her dark prince
The one that left her alone
Left her in a lonely solitude
Her decaying soul takes a heavy toll on her
She struggles to continue
Then a rush of emotions engulf her senses
She remembers the sentence of silence 
That she received by the dark Prince
Her wrath carries her when she is too weak
For a woman's emotions brings her power
That power only intensifies beyond the grave
Can you sense her now?
A tear stained soul always remains chained to you
In the late evening when you feel a sense of fright
When you feel like someone is watching you
Remember the one you sent away
And know that it is she haunting you
Once she unleashes her vengenance on you
In her exhaustion she will lay her head on her grave
And be able to rest peacefully
For the book will finally be closed


Details | Free verse | |

Cursed Loneliness

In the dark moments of morning, as the sun is yet to rise
A faceless form awakens, inspiring chilling cries
It lurks within the darkness, while unaware, we sleep
As many then fall victim in the dormant hours they keep

The moonlight beckons wandering, as it hauntingly entreats
Selecting its new victims from the souls that dare to meet
With charm and a seduction, it entices all who are about
After giving a quick salutation, they then give in to shout

The faceless form then takes from them, all it really needs 
Taking from them blood of life, on which it only feeds
A curse bestowed in days of yore, when one had fed on it
Living on, in death’s cold grasp, because of once been bit

Alone it ever wanders, through the dark corridors of life
Invading all our nightmares, with stabs there like a knife
Sad though, all it really wants then, is to live and to be seen
For it must live its life alone, in the hours, in between


Details | I do not know? | |

The Fire

When I first heard the news
I didn’t think it could be true
The cops must have it wrong I thought
You’d never do that, no of course

But deep inside I knew them right
You did it to give me a fright
You didn’t think or even care
You lacked control and couldn’t fair

I wasn’t home and you where mad
You thought that life was pretty bad
You didn’t know just where I was
So you thought you’d play control

You put the petrol there to burn
And the mattress for no return
You lit the match and toss it down
And then you ran without concern

The neighour, lucky she was home
Called the team to hose it down
The street the cops did corner off
The fire they put out and stopped

I came home later on that night
Walked inside and smelt the smoke
Not a light could I turn on
The power had been cut not long.

All I could see was black dark stuff
I almost felt my mind did crack
I walked along into our room
Had a shower by the moon.

I towelled me dry and climbed in bed
The tears were there, refused to shed
I lay there for a long long time
When sleep did come it wasn’t fine.

The morning dawned and I could see
A black dark room was choking me.
I was so weary, so alone
So very worn and felt like stone

When I climbed out of the bed that morn
Went to the mirror black and cold
I rubbed a circle in the soot
And then I saw a black face look

The tears they were just brimming now
I’d wiped me with a black black towel
And then in bed when I did climb
Was full of soot and gritty grime

I stood and watch that face just then
I didn’t know if I could bend
I knew that he just wasn’t well
How long could I still live in hell? 


Details | Elegy | |

How Love Doth Gleam

From deepest pit of thysoul doth rise new dreams,
Rain cascades from thine dark windows,
Tears that have lived within one for many years,
Lustrous, liquid pearls forged from sway thy soul,
Birthed in thy heart, how love doth gleam,
From thine ebon heart a pillar of light shall sawy,
Through these dark forests a quiet daze,
Felt thy sorrow, thy face sweet dove, thy heart raven,
Every waking hour I tread through April's newly shed tears,
Give not thy day for another,
In realm of senses you were thy heart's brother,
Yet from thy soul doth rise new dreams,
Come to thee, fairest love,
The fabric of thine lonely love has burst its seams!


Details | Free verse | |

priorities.

three nights.
two days.
waking in pain,
feeling razors internally slicing inside.
a dark girl, sitting on the sidelines.
she doesnt understand the pain that he feels.
so she sits by his side.
holding his hand.
rubbing ivory hands over a tanned back.
vocal chords defying her,
unable to speak words to soothe and comfort.
just stay by me,
he whispers,
dont leave me.
and he calls for his mother.
you look away from his humiliation.
then come the words of warning.
he's worried about her.
he doesnt want her to hurt herself,
he doesnt want her to use weapons to replace her emptiness.
its all to much for her to bear, and so she cries.
she doesnt let him see her.
its dark in the room, dimly lit by a lamp.
the light hurts his eyes.
the light shows her ugly side.
and then another enters the room.
plump like him.
worried,
dark bags under her eyes.
she doesnt ask if the girl's alright.
the girl understands priorities.
she goes to sleep in her room,
pulling the covers away from her body.
opening the window.
allowing air to flow over and under her body.
the woman takes the man away,
to the building filled with fluorescent lights,
smelling of urine and pine trees,
latex and hand sanitizer.
priorities.


Details | I do not know? | |

And the Seasons Burn

Sage, bows out in final rage
As prairie shows its age
And the seasons burn...

Gone, is the summer upon
A dark gray sky that's wan
As tumbleweeds churn.

Corn, stalks the dead frosty morn,
Cold as the day we're born
When all we did was cry.

So, the far-flung geese do know
When it's high time to go
And all things must die.

Soon, comes the dark mother moon
Amid the scream of loon
Across vast prairie.

How, we heed the call of cow,
No one knows even now--
But it just must be.

Trees, so softly do appease
And turn that final breeze
To what yet must come.

Chills, then starkly cringe the hills
As that cold first frost kills
And summer's struck dumb.

Gone, is the summer upon
A dark gray sky that's wan
As tumbleweeds churn.

Sage, bows out in final rage
As prairie shows its age
And the seasons burn...


Details | I do not know? | |

Beginning and the End

I’m sitting back and letting days slip by
The window stares and shows me so much hate
My heart still fades as I resent its lies
I disappear as there’s nothing left to hide

Holding me away from hurting you
I could bring you pain and burn you up inside
There’s still a part of me I think is true
But if I looked I know I’d shoot you through

The dark in me has claimed another day
The things I see are begging me to stay
The lies I hear still tell me it’s ok
But to be free I’ll screw it all away

The light is false, I know because I saw
The space above is just a natural whore
Without the dark there’s no such thing as law
The light I see is a reaction and a door

I’m taking you apart
I’ll get inside your heart
I’ll bet you feel so smart
I’ve screwed your mind and taken you to the start

I’ve taken me apart
I am inside my heart
I am my work of art
I’ve screwed my mind and I must now restart


Details | Rhyme | |

Dark Rain

The dark rain falls upon the world
  And drowns the stifled cries,
And bathes with faithless vision
  The grieving parent eyes;
And in it’s cold descending
  And it’s desolate decision
Cuts the very cord of life
  With a hand of God precision.

The pieces that are scattered
  Are emotions in that rain,
Bled of designation,
  Swirling down a silent drain;
And as the night approaches
  And the light invites stagnation,
All the trains grind to conclusion
  At a cold and empty station.

The dark rain is an emblem
  And a harbinger of death
 Yet our love is great, defying
  Any stilling of the breath;
For the short time we remember
  Puts an end to grief and crying
The short time that you had
  A timeless source of love undying.


Details | Ballad | |

IT'S THE CHILDREN WHO SUFFER

It's the children who suffer in loneliness,
who feel the desolation
in all its ugliness and bitterness;
at such tender age,pain 
could definetly be an obstacle
to the realization of those dreams
promising to be so remarkable
by leaving a mark so indelible...

Those children who are left
 to unpleasant decisions,
devastated by violence
and the fear of their choices...
will not refuse a stranger's kindness;
and they,once afraid of strangers,
become the profiteers
and the abusers... 
doing the oppositive of what
they were taught!

It's the children who suffer in loneliness,
who demoralize themselves
when alternatives are the basic
to their uncertain survival...
It's the children who laugh 
even in tragic moments,
to reject their unworthiness
with clues they can't unravel!

They walk in dark alleys,
sleep in dark corners...
dreaming of having a home:
like the one they had before;
don't ask for their names...
they've lost their identity,
because they'd rather forget...
than bitterly regret!

It's the children who suffer in loneliness,
who pay dearly for someone's mistakes;
and they sleep by day
and wander by night:
to find that affection
that was denied them,
feeling no ebarassment  or shame!


Details | Free verse | |

Sun Still Sleeps

Once again the sun still sleeps
I haven't slept well for about two weeks
Its not here, the dark is haunting me,
I fear the the sun is taunting me.
Why must the sun still be in hiding?
How long will it be gone?
Where could it be?
Why is the sun asleep?

There is no light
Everything is pitch-black,
All the surroundings are completely dark,
The electricity does not give enough light,
All the demons seem as if they will stay,
They have not yet gone away,
Not last week, and not tomorrow,
When will the sun come out and end my sorrow?

The sun still sleeps,
The dark is making me weak,
Why isn't there any light?
Can we flee the dark when time brings night?
I'm not sure if the sun ever will rise,
Maybe it's just hidden from my eyes,
I never realized how much I would miss the sun,
But for now, the sun still sleeps....


Details | Narrative | |

Gone, As With the Wind

It was dark and cold as he wandered the streets of Chicago
Strangers were the only people he saw, he had no friends
Searching nightly, he had never found her, the one he sought
He needed to find her, for without her, his destiny ends

Strangers were the only people he saw, he had no friends
He was new to the city, but felt welcomed, when their eyes met
Two in a crowd, for a moment, they shared a glance
A face of an angel, truly a face he would never forget

Searching nightly, he had never found her, the one he sought
For she wandered in to the crowd and was lost then from view
He ran, he stopped, he started again, searching everywhere
Until, as the sun had gone down, his spirit did, too

He needed to find her, for without her, his destiny ends
He feels in his heart, that the two of them were destined to be
Alas, he could not find her, in this big cold dark windy place
But he would never stop trying, else his heart shan’t be free


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Light

The light of the sun will shine down
Hiding all of those little frowns
The rainbow is painting your mask
Illusions are an every day task

The heat of the sun will delude
The greatest minds are its fruit
It helps you become your belief
Your sun is not my relief

I live in dark I can see
Your hate, pain and envy
I thought I just saw you die
In my eyes you’re just another lie

The minute that I step into light
It’s blinding, it’s far too bright
Stop me before I am dead
You’re pushing, killing instead

Please, show mercy on me
Controlling what wants to be free
Just because you cannot see
Doesn’t mean I cannot believe
You’ve killed me

I lived in dark and could see
Your hate, pain and envy
I know you have died
So many times, how much lies?
I crawl back into the dark
Your lies have just hit their mark
Darkness is now the thing that I crave
Anything else is just another grave
Lift me up and surprise
I now feel so high
The mask will fade from my face
I’m free now in every way
You keep trying to pull me from this
Why can’t I be with bliss?


Details | Lyric | |

Shadow

You're a lie,
You're an end of my novel that's missing,
You're a sculpture
That's carved by my hands out of ice,
You're a portrait,
Drawn perfectly, still not existing,
You're a myth,
An illusion, but idealized.

From the height of your now shattered sky
You look down at what's left of me,
But you're scared behind your disguise,
Figured out is your mystery.

I'm a statue that just seems broken,
I'm the truth that's still unspoken,
I'm an arrow of love... What's love? - You've never known...
I'm your fear, so deeply hidden,
I'm the myth you don't believe in,
And you never will - you cannot understand a word.

I'm a rose
That, however, just seems to be wilting,
I'm spring -
When my time comes, I die and revive.
I'll come back...
Not to you, for you'll never be missing me,
Still I love you,
My hero who wasn't alive. 

From the height of your dark shattered sky
I fall down... you don't even see.
Like my tears, I'm invisible now,
Figured out is my destiny.

I am me - no more your shadow,
No more your twin soul, so shallow,
No more your mirror, or your pillow, or your shield. 
I'm your fear, so deeply hidden,
I'm the myth you don't believe in,
And you never will - you cannot understand a word.

From the height of your dark shattered sky
I fall down... you don't even see.
Like my tears, I'm invisible now,
Figured out is my destiny.

I'm a statue that just seems broken,
I'm the truth that's still unspoken,
I'm an arrow of love... What's love? - You've never known...
I'm your fear, so deeply hidden,
I'm the myth you don't believe in,
And you never will - you cannot understand a word.

I am me - no more your shadow,
No more your twin soul, so shallow,
No more your mirror, or your pillow, or your shield. 
I'm your fear, so deeply hidden,
I'm the myth you don't believe in,
And you never will - you cannot understand a word.


Details | Rhyme | |

deluded

i loked into her eyes so bright as if i were
looking into the sun, my heart she had 
already won, it was something about her that
i couldn't resist, i thought it was love but
my eyes were filled with a dark mist, she
loves me i thought as we looked into each 
others eyes, but i only loved her to my 
suprise, after all she knew how to
manipulate and was a great pretender, now
it's too late my all i've already surrenderd,
it's now just a bunch of confusion, 
sometimes i wish it was all just an illusion,
now i can see behind the cloud, i think its
what she forgot to say aloud, my days began
to seem so dark and cloudy, im scared 
because i dont't know what it is about me,
i always seem to be so cold and trembling
in fear, not knowing if i will awake i
think death is near


Details | Blank verse | |

WINDOWS TO NOTHINGNESS

its dark here in the folds of this life
i can't see here in the halls of my life
windows,i... have brought to life
i can't hold onto what's in my hands
i can't taste what's in my mouth
i can't feel the love of my wife
it's dark here in the folds of this life

someone please, lead me out of this hell
i can't hear the sounds of that bell
that echoes through the space of my head
it feels like i'm already dead
i can't listen to what my mind tells me to do
windows of a lifes past wrongs
doors that opened to what never belonged

it's dark here in the halls of my life


Details | I do not know? | |

Spider

Depression is like the big, black spider,
Sitting upon its web, glistening with the very tears of my sorrow.
It lurks in the darkest of my thoughts,
And pierces my broken heart,
Penetrating, and leaking in its poison.
The fear it casts is known,
Though it’s time to strike is not.
It sits in the darkest corner of my mind,
Feeding on the despair in my heart.
And when it gets strong enough,
All it will take is one wrong step,
One step, for my thoughts to walk into that dark corner,
Where the spider lurks.
And the spider will strike,
Piercing me with those poisonous fangs,
Filled with the poison of my own emotions.
The spider will strike, and all will be lost.
I will fall forever into that dark corner,
Until the poison from my own mind,
Will be enough to bring my suffering to an end.
And it will be there, that the web of my tears will dry,
And that very spider will die.