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Sad Confusion Poems | Sad Poems About Confusion

These Sad Confusion poems are examples of Sad poems about Confusion. These are the best examples of Sad Confusion poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Verse | |

AM I

AM  I ?

Am I Just Standing Here, or Am I Just Dead?
Am I So Full Of Fear, I Lost Myself Instead?

Am I A Nobody, that you can't defend me?
OR
Am I Just Invisible, and you really don't pretend.

Am I Blind, Or I Just Don't Wish To See?
The Love I Cannot Find Is Right In Front Of Me!

Am I Hearing the Truth,
Or Have I Just Been Deceived?
Who Can I Trust?
Who Can I Believe?

Am I So Mad I Just Can't Understand,
Or Am I So Sad I Need A Shoulder And A friend?

Is It Just Me, 
Or Am I All Alone?

***

I wrote this poem 22 years ago
I was pregnant, scared and alone:-( 


Details | Alliteration | |

The Malkavian part 1 perfect version

His mind has all the meaning of a madman that is screaming
Tortured and tormented, a life lived to be lamented
Drained and defeated, his family finally retreated 
Leaving him believing that he was beyond redeeming 
The doctors sent in spoke of hope and healing 
The drugs they administered only made him more demented 
Cemented is the feeling that is life is just an echo 
Of an endless, timeless, all-consuming screaming 

His best friend is a disproportioned bird, appropriately named buddy 
Whose monotonous motion in drinking is somewhat soothing to his being 
Though not potent enough to stop, the persistent pounding of the screaming
Often he stares into the emptiness of nothingness, contemplating the beauty 
of its existence 
Only to find his mind is drowning in a confounding conundrum he can’t quite 
define
It’s hard to be philosophical when your mental testicles have fallen to the proper 
level
So sometimes he whispers tongue twisters until his brain blisters
Madmen mask madness in the meticulous mastery of mindless tasks

Buddy was telling a troubling tale, of a dragon drunk off of some dwarven ale 
Who through two days, threw up flames and burnt down the tavern and town 
When the door to his room opened with a plume of plum perfume 
In stepped an inept and unkempt nurse named Nancy
Her green eyes and fiery red hair caused his heart to flutter and flair with fancy
She had quite the quiet voice and was quick to trip over her own two feet 
A bit naïve, she would easily believe anything she had heard or seen
He knew he would make her his, no matter the time nor energy 

It was easy for him to pretend to be prim and proper 
Just a mask to don in order to dupe his doctor
Circumventing the system that couldn’t save him 
He was as he always had been and would be
In constant pain and agony with no desire for sympathy
Just in need of some freedom from his prison and medication
Meditation and mantras had given him the sentiment of a design
On how to inhibit the screaming, and maybe even end it

Four years plotting and planning the perfect moment of promise
A fire formed from a single flamed fueled from an accelerant 
It raced through the halls, up the walls, over the ceiling, killing all the residents
Eighty-eight inmates and staff burned alive in what felt like an instant 
Such little time to search through the bodies, looking for a single person
He found her on the fourth clinging to the bathroom faucet 
He lost his virginity to the burnt corpse of Nurse Nancy 
To his amazed mind, he was astonished to find, the screaming was silenced



just a note I cannot reduce the font so the lines fit without overlapping as they 
do in stanza two


Details | Ballad | |

Bobby

 This one is totally fictional.

Don't cry little guy just 'cause you're moving away
Your daddy's got a brand new job out in Santa Fe
He's trying to make a better life for your mom and you
So, how about holding back those tears
Yes, I'm crying too
So I said goodbye to Bobby like I knew I had to do
But Some things that I told him
Weren't exactly true
I wish I could have told him to stay
If that's where he'd really like to be
I wish I could have told him the truth
About his mom and me
So, I said goodbye
And tried not to cry
And told him to have fun
I wish I could have said to him
Bobby, you're my only son.


Details | I do not know? | |

Anger

There it is again
Bubbling up from within
Wretched wrath washing over me
Vile disgusting filth freely flowing
Angry demons seizing control
Forced attrition to evil urges

Screaming 
Yelling
Rants of rage

Watched from within
Helpless
Powerless

Unable to soothe the beast
Surrender to aggression
Until the bile is expelled
Vomited forth in fury
Leaving only the bitter tastes
Of regret and sorrow 


Details | Rhyme | |

Her Masterpiece Is Her Story

Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.

One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.

She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?

No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.

Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.

Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.

She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.

She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.

Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...

That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.

Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.

Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.

This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.

Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.

She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.

He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.

Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people, 
who saw her cries for help.

And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.

She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.


Details | Narrative | |

New Road

In a new road,
Rain will fall,
Wind may blow,
Swifting our woe.

The road forever on and on,
Many paths to choose,
Many paths to take,
Home behind,
World ahead...

Through the shadows,
Through the night,
Clouds going by,
There we will lie,
Very deep,
Seeing shivered land,
Seeing the dead seas...

Through the edge,
Miles to go,
Singing by,
Darkness rising,
Vanishing light,
Hollow flourishing,
Going by,
World ahead,
Home behind...

Rain may fall,
Through the nightfall,
Through the twilight,
Through the dusk,
Through the dawn,
Beyond mountains,
Beyond stones,
Standing strong,
Wandering lost,
World ahead,
Home behing,
Paths on and on,
'Till the road comes along...


Details | Rhyme | |

The Best Mistake

You made the mistake and now,
your afraid to face this day. 

Your thoughts are racing through 
and through.

You wonder if your family looks at
you as a disgrace, but you'er mother
takes you and reasures, your very 
much loved in grace.

Even though your much to young
for this breathing little thing this
has become.

You couldn't just throw it out
like it was a peice of trash.

So you grow up and take the
path that led you to your best
mistake for years to come.


Details | Rhyme | |

Remnants

Sad Heart, now thou art wither’d from the Sun,
What man, or god, will near thee run?
Wrought in twist like branches in Tempests' gasp,
What Comfort, or Gauze, shall be near to grasp?
True ones begotten are the ones now Rotten
And the ones now Rotten will never be forgotten
They are merely sad remains of assiduous Tears
That have been meddl’d with and tatter’d Raw throughout the years

And thou, cruel Mind, that sat’st still thru toiling trail of Night;
Must dream your broken Dreams; thou’rt a sanely flight!
Can thou extinguish passions of Fire, Disease, or Rain?
—tho thy distinguish’d influence trains to abstain
Thy Remnants brought to debris in thy Empty street,
Devour’d by Vultures, their bestow’d beaks entreat
Merely are they cleaning an inexhaustible Mess
Alas! Leaving thy rudiments of Identity to redress....



Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Vulturous World

Note:***This poem is meant to be read from the bottom to the top, left to right 
------------------------------------------------------------------

Never Again
and you remain—

For the World has gone from me and fled
The stairway of my mind shall never end
I accept the fate with the grinning dead
Hello again demons, hello friends

I remain

Alas! I fall and I am done
Tell me where have you fled, my love, my friend?
For a moment I gaze upon the sun
Here I am on earth again

1 Stair Remains

Why can’t I be free?
Tell me, why aren’t they looking at thee?
Why are they looking at me?

2 Stairs Remain

The garments of comfort I long to wear 
Knowing in my heart that I’ll never win 
I skip that grimy third stair
Like most of my life has been

3 Stairs Remain

Though my infected feet leave bloodstains
I can’t release even a single tear
The poisons encompass my river of veins
I step on thorns of wrath and fear
Enshrouded with pain!

4 Stairs Remain

Oh, how am I to survive?
Relieve me from this ever-fixed sadness
Why can’t you just be alive? 
Cease this madness!

5 Stairs Remain

As you breathe your very last breath
The devilish fiends laugh at me
They are blaming me for your death
The deaths of the masses are calling me

6 Stairs Remain

The carcasses you feed upon are glaring
Oh! vulturous world so full of greed
When everyone is staring
God, redeem me!
I just can’t succeed

7 Stairs Remain

Of other fiendish sins
And I feel the shivers 
Drowned by the turbulent wind
My stale breath quivers

8 Stairs Remain

Though we all aren’t free
They laugh below in the hole where I fell
The demons are haunting, taunting me
Alone I wander blindly out of hell

9 Stairs Remain

And my will is close to gone…
The stairway continues on
Forever hungry, forever stale
I toil through death’s dark vale

10 Stairs Remain

Why can’t we be free?
My resistance is nearly gone
The wretches are watching, stalking me
I’m too exhausted to move on


Details | Free verse | |

HESITATING HIS CALL



The hint of his scent invited me to enter a forbidden door, running male fingers along the fabric of my back…silhouettes melt on the wall; jealous stars drift afar as moonlight trails along with heaving sighs. And my cheery lips heat beyond eyes smoldering in flickers of candles lit, just there, I wished the fire of breath had more power over my bare heart, but… I hesitated the call of his rugged charm, of his night tunes: violin melody on air crawling on my damp skin igniting the spice upon his neck; I quiver. And he pulls me away from an embrace, gazing low through curves of my bent limbs while in slow drift, I claim effort to regain a hurt esteem brushed off in a draining flow the tang of salt arrests, but... I hesitated the toss of hairs curled when I really meant ‘next time’. Regina Riddle's Rejection Contest by nette onclaud


Details | Rhyme | |

ME, LOOKING BACK AT ME

    BOOM!! Explosion,
   fire, smoke, serene...
As I realize what has happened;
  Just what i've done to me...
Focusing, I regain clear vision;
  As i'm gazing straight towards me,
  I see myself, Bloodied;
       Crumpled in a seat...
I look upon all the chaos,
   that now lyes before me;
Almost as if, as if in total disbelief,
   of the horror that's been created...
              created within me,
           by me,  for me,
                  too me...
Lifeless, no movement from my chest;
      Lifeless, without momement;
             No breath...
  My eyes opened wide
      potruding, it seem's;
As if frightened, or caught by surprise;
     I lie there, looking directly back at me,
               mesmerized.
As I watch  myself, lying there,
  My eyes, looking into my eyes;
      I drift some, just a little;
I'm farther away now,
       still aware of my feelings;
            Emotions,
somehow still apart of me...
    Overwhelmed with regret,
        of what I now see;
  Alone, no movement;
   Me, Looking back at Me...


Details | Free verse | |

The Day That Died Forever

When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...

I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky

The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn

I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe

The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul

Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through

Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost

I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art

As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow

Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place

The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost

Day was Life,Night is Death

And the latter has given counsel on my final steps


Details | Rhyme | |

If Loving You Were Easy

If loving you were easy
I'd love you like I should.
I've opened up my heart to you
and tried as best I could.
I don't expect reassurance.
I know some think I'm cold.
I needed your love when I was young.
But now I'm just too old.
I've lived without your guidance.
I've lived without your hugs.
I'm sure you don't remember
a time without your drugs.
You chose the life you're living.
I wished you all the best.
Now it's time to say goodbye
and lay this thing to rest.
If loving you were easy,
I'd love you like I should.
I've opened up my heart to you
and tried as best I could.


Details | Rhyme | |

The thoughts of a bi-polar

Who am I and what am I to say?,
All I've got to do is play,
Along in a game I don't understand,
Make people come to my land,
A deal that you don't think about,
Something thats going to start out,
A trend that will last for years,
Making people come to tears,
Arguing points that don't get across,
Having to deal with a great loss,
This is my life and these are my words,
Circling around like I'm in herds,
Playing games with my head,
Maybe I would be better off dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Silenced by Anger

Silenced by anger,
I can’t believe my ears,
you told me that you loved me,
but the truth remains clear.

You lied to me, you selfish jerk,
and it is I, who must pay
for all the love and laughter,
that left me in a daze.

I can’t believe that I listened
to the words that you said.
The truth wasn’t missing,
it was dancing in my head.

You used to act like you loved me,
But I guess the angers fed.
So forgive me as I leave this place,
Selfish, cold, and dead.


Details | I do not know? | |

Bulimia

What started as a few times has
now turned into a habit hard to break
Everyone is now starting to see
no matter how hard I try to hide it or 
how hard I try to fake

I've tried to hide it from everyone
including my own family
I guess in fear they would think I 
was stupid or maybe even deny me

What started this issue this problem 
this disease
Knowing I will never look like the girls
on tv or the cover of magizines

Knowing when I see my reflection
I'm the furthest thing from them
From what everyone wants
what seem like "perfection"

How can I ever truly be happy with me
knowing like them I will never be
What sets us so far apart from one another
ask yourself or you will end up just like me 
all alone all by yourself

someone so miserable in this life no matter
what I try and do
Seems no matter what happens I always end
up the fool

See everytime I think I found someone that is
different I seem to find out it's not true
No man can ever only see his real love
no man can ever stay completly true

Every man has got wandering eyes
any man to tell you different is just another
man full of lies

Bulima I have learned is a mental illness a
mental disease I know sounds sick to most
Be glad this is not one of your demons to 
fight - one of your ghost


Details | Name | |

Handling Reality

Reliving painful moments every single day
Envying other's fortune
Always wanting the love of another
Loving people who will never care
Inviting things into your life that you can't handle
Trying to forgive while dealing with more pain
Yearning for the perfect life that no one will ever have


Details | Verse | |

This Place

In the cold depths of my barren soul,
I lay here slowly dying,
A very sad sight for one to behold,
The doctor just sits there with cold eyes and judging stares,
Oh god I'd wish he'd just say something,
That way ill know that he's really there.
My world is much different than your world,
You just couldn't possibly understand,
With stares of disgust, pointing fingers unjust,
My lifes in the hands of this man.
All these pills I must take,
To make the voices go away,
These pills they don't work,
I think im  going insane.
Silently, numbly drifting,
Drifting away to this place,
The look of utter horror,
Was the look you had on your face ,
This place is a good place, a safe place for me,
You chose it don't you remember?
A place were you cant bear to be.


Details | Free verse | |

Betting on Nothing

By committing to nothing, one retains infinite options.
I have hid inside these words for moons and seasons and New Year’s toasts.
The lone wolf roams fertile pastures unfettered.
The thrill of the hunt.
The chase.
An empty bed is the hope of a new body’s sleeping curve.
Tomorrow becomes yesterday.
“The mystery of mysteries is the gateway to marvels.”
I stopped looking long ago.

The faces have blurred into a montage of emptiness.
Come and go; came and went.
I never bothered much to be bothered.
There aren’t many memories
And I am thankful for that.
Wet fingers and licked lips’
Blood on my hands.
Wasted time.
The years run on like a favorite sitcom gone bad.
It all should have been retired years ago.

It is easier to stay afloat and roam the big waters alone
Than set up camp on an island and face a face.
No problems.
No worries.
No connection.
Freedom is all that you cannot commit to
And who surrenders to nothing is he who lives in frigid shadows of fear.
Maybe I have never truly known warmth.

I walk the streets like a war-worn shoulder.
A little cold, a little distant, a little too silent.
The words I have are recycled fragments of someone else’s life.
I don’t offer much.
Poker face.
Can you read my concrete stare?
I have an entire universe hiding in my back pocket
But I’m scared to show you.
It’s been so long since I groped or even fondled my own life.
I’m not sure what I do or don’t have to offer.
I just keep making bets and upping the ante.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Creation

It's my created courthouse
The jury's reached a verdict
A sentence of familiar course
Against the criminally virgin
Guilty by association
I stand to face my trial
Innocent of all my charges
Accused by my empire

Out of seventy-two wishes
I've got one left
A hunger for escape grows
On an open shelf
Surrounded by my story
I have lost my soul
Upon an open world's edge
And endless and lonely road

It's my created jailhouse
A self-sufficient cell hall
Not a single bar in sight
Just cells of open gray-walls
Imprisoned by my own delusions
In cell one on dead block
With broken bones and dying faith
An executed man begins to walk

Out of seventy-two wishes
I've got one left
A hunger for escape grows
On an open shelf
Surrounded by my story
I have lost my own soul
Upon an open world's edge
And endless and lonely road

It's my created world
It's my created plague
It's my created punishment
For my created hate
It's my created nightmare
In my created sleep
It's my created six foot hole
Which was dug for only me




Details | I do not know? | |

Why

Crying,
	Sobbing,
Laying face down on my bed,
My head drove into my pillow,
Trying to drownout the sound of my own cries.
Not wanting anyone to hear me,
Not even myself,
Waiting,
	Wondering,
When shall the last tear fall,
Hoping that this  will be over soon,
That I won't have to deal with this much longer.
Red cheeked,
	Running nose,
Light streams running down my face,
Hoping for the best,
Thinking of the worst,
Why do I have to go through this?
 When shall it be over or shall I make it over.


Details | I do not know? | |

What's Happening To Our Children?

Look into their hollowed eyes
and tell me you don't care.
There are so many hurting
and it's more than I can bear.

What happens to our young
that makes them crave the pain? 
How could they feel so helpless
that it drives them near insane? 

So many young are cutters.
They have a thirst for tears.
Where are all their parents
while they're out facing their fears? 

How can we save these children? 
It kills me when I know
that underneath they're dying
yet the scars they don't let show.

If I could give them strength
and help them see the way...
I'd trade them my tomorrows
if that gained them one more day.


Details | Quatrain | |

My Torment

A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun

Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion

The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me

And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul

And then that familiar salty smell 
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things

Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts

And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher

Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror

There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Narrative | |

Alone in a Hospital Room - An Alzheimer's Song

Don’t you remember, love, how we danced that first night;
beneath the sun’s rays, toes dipping in the cooling sand, 
to the tune of our favorite song –
with me humming the best I could – 
(I sounded terrible, but you told me I sounded divine, remember?)
while falling all over myself, and your delicate feet; 
and you, trying so hard not to laugh as I made such a fool of myself!
Did you ever think we would go 
from being love-sick teenagers dancing on the beach, 
to a couple of old-timers reminiscing 
about our best years – our long ago days together? 

Honey? 
Sweetheart, please…
If there is any part of that teenage girl 
left within that beautiful head of yours…please; 
please, just look in my eyes as you once did…
look at me, sweetheart…
Don’t you remember? 

My love, do you hear? 
They’re playing our favorite song…



*Inspired by Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest
I really hope I did this right! :)


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Narrative | |

The Empty Tissue Box

My heart was in such pain
I felt like I was going to go insane
I just don't know what to do 
And my eyes full of tears that distort my view

I fell to my knees and felt the urge
My muscle tighten and pin needles struck me like a surge
My body was warm and with feelings so confused
My mind felt sadness had fused

I could not conquer my fears
I just sat down and fell into tears
When some close to you passes on
It felt like a warmth has gone

So I raised my hand towards a box that was empty with no tissue
I first was embarrass and had a little bit of issue
All my friends hugged me and said sorry for your loss
So now I cry in my bed and toss


April 14, 2013


Details | I do not know? | |

Still In Progress

How can I be selfless without being used? 
How can I be demanding without being so rude? 
How can I open up without closing back down? 
How can I speak if you don't hear a sound? 
How can I trust without being betrayed? 
Yet how could I leave... even after you stayed? 
But how can you love me when I won't let you in? 
So many questions.... where do I begin? 
-------- 
Memories now blurred, flying through my mind…… 
Now, I’m trying to repress the days of being youthful and blind. 
Every morning I pull on my armor, right from within, 
Preparing for a war, that I intend, to win. 
If my heart is my comrade and my mind is the enemy, 
Then in the midst of this battlefield, 
Life is the remedy…
 --- 
Trying to stay sane, knowing that although this is temporary, nothing is vain… 
Learning that there is always a purpose and people will try to corrupt us, and bring you great shame… 
Being told that ‘Victory isn't given to he who starts the race the strongest, but he who endures until the end.’ 
Trying to suspend you from learning to depend... on yourself, 
instead making you depend on the wealth, 
Of someone who doesn't even know who he is, 
while you’re grasping the stealth of your true identity, in your right hand, in your heart, the knowledge…
Never been withheld 
… 
.. 
. 
Feeling the world come crashing down on you, compacting into a mist of air so cool, 
The breeze passing right through, right into the depths of your pores, to ensue, 
The burning and broken and fragile pieces of the inhabitants of the earth from your birth til' now.. 
Physically becoming everything that you breathe, touch, conceive, munch, perceive, every aroma... 
And every great or insignificant trauma, reflecting off your skin oh so temporarily, the mark so paper thin… 
Physically, THAT is what you are… 
Because we only see the physical, right? 
Yet, behind every movie is there not a director… a cast? 
And behind every painting is there not an artist, combining colors and lines so vast? 
And behind every child is there not a journey, a past? 
...
That you did not walk, yet you know that it’s there, not by sight, scent, taste, touch, or hearing... But something inside you, that says it makes sense, KNOWS that all of that is there, 
KNOWING
...
..
.


Details | Free verse | |

Deaf and Gone

I am whatever you say I am...
but, let's get back to reality...

       Three short years ago, this room shined welcome mats across a screen of doldrums.
A place of unfamiliarity that screamed, 
"You don't belong!"
Yet, a voice of reason spoke and said,
"Expand yir' roots. Venture beyond the comfort zone. Academia resides inside that room, but know you won't be alone."
Repeatedly,brainwaves declined what my wife and editor had told me.
I'd say,
"no way, I'm givin' up my soul for free, they read, they pay, like it's always been, the way it's going to always be!"
Unbeknownst to me one day, and with a slight of hand, my "Open Sores" were put on display and surprisingly more than a handful of great ladies and nice guys began to give feedback on what I had devised. 
This interaction was something very new, helpful, and impressive. For a change, it was something real.
For years, those around me were quick to give praise with hidden reasons. Constructive criticism is amazing, and I welcomed being corrected or set straight.
Now there are those who choose to shut me down without explanation, and call me names.
DO NOT mistake me for sophomoric! These words bleeding from my guts have no style and need no approval. There is no thinking involved here, no plan. If you don't like it, fine...don't censor or bracket me in. So what if I am illiterate?  If you don't like "street poetry" or the pathetic stuff I write, don't read it. If I offend you, tell me.
We should welcome those who are different than us. 
Words of truth inspire movement, like fire.
I came to this room to expand my horizons, step outside the box, learn, help, grow. 
There will be no apologies dealt for being different, or for being labelled as something uncomfortable to you. 
This has been an ok room so far, but there is some clique trickanery going on.
If the dictionary must come into play, let me recommend looking up the term "Poetic License."
True, I may not be the writer you prefer, or aspire to be....but tread carefully my friend, for you have no idea of my profession. I've made a fine living, for a good long time, spewing words onto paper. I came from nothing, and may still be nothing to you...still, I do what I love, have no boss.
I am not an aspiring writer who dreams of a life, I live my dream. In conclusion, I must wish you luck in finding what you peddle poetry for. Until then, keep 


Details | Rubaiyat | |

No One

Silent screams no one hears
Tired eyes filled with tears
Gut wrenching heartache no one feels
Emotions dark enough to kill
Mental exhaustion no one sees
Strong enough it hurts to breathe
An answer seekin no one speaks
A language spoken without speech


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Tanka | |

Seeking Answers (for Jared's contest)

Wasted days
Wandering through life’s maze
Trying to sort the truth from the lies

I call out, but it seems nobody hears my cries
With each futile attempt, something inside me dies
Skies overhead are filled with thunder

What was my worst blunder?
I wonder

To heaven I gaze
Lord, help me find contentment
In hope my hands raise
Yes, I know I was once blessed
Raised well by loving parents

Is there no cure for this malaise?
How did these sad feelings arise?
I listen but hear no replies
My question I seek to rephrase

As much sorrow on my heart weighs 
Searching for words that will not rise
Is there no cure for this malaise?
How did these sad feelings arise?

Forgive me, Lord, I’ll change my ways
I’m humbled; I will compromise
Contrition you’ll find in my eyes
Must I be sad throughout my days?
Is there no cure for this malaise?


*Combination of Trois Par Huit, Tanka and Rondel for Jared’s contest.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Tranquillizers




                             THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.





Details | Rhyme | |

blood transfusion



Details | Verse | |

Secretly Obsessed

Obsessed with the thought of you
wondering if it's only me or
if you sometimes remember the sweet things you've said
and if you meant them how I took them
or if I'm just obsessed with what's in your head

Obsessed with your very sentences
Every response I take personal
I know it's selfishness
Have you not noticed my eyes?
They hold secrets that only you can unlock
if you'd just take time to fill the thick juices of my pride
It's just boiling with lust, passion, trust and distrust
and other things I obsess over so much

I find myself writing to free myself from this prison I've created
where only you and I reside
I become confused about what I'm really feeling inside and I 
try to rid the thoughts that are highly debated as false and I
begin to cry and
think of casting love spells so that the universe can deliver this affair
I know it's unfair
but I don't care

I'm obsessed with what hasn't happened between us
I'm obsessed with your heart and that the fact that 
I don't think you've even noticed my selfish innuendos 
and secret undertones that blatantly express my lust
Or maybe you have and you calmly remain in resistance of distrust 
If you could only read my mind by simply touching my fingertips,
I'm sure I'd catch you out the corner of my eye biting your bottom lip
I'm obsessed with the passion and thoughts I think you have
Obsessing over an experience that I may never have....






Details | Free verse | |

In Her Fathers Arms

The evening star glowing in a dust choked sky. A girl stands by a window, with a tear in her eye. She stares at the scene, hardly visible through the grime. She whispers in the wind, “Bring my Dad home this time” She opens the window, and climbs outside, Having a flashlight, in her hand, as her guide. Its glow shows the sides of the street. She’s afraid for what the light will meet Bodies piled everywhere she turns, She wants to go home, and never return. What brought this fate upon her town? All her emotions are stripped and torn down. A frightening sound explodes in her ear. Shadows in the road now appear. She run and hides behind a broken wall Praying to god the rest doesn’t fall. Footsteps coming closer to her She can’t tell who because it’s all a blur She backs away further so not to be seen in light, Quieting her heart pounding from fright. Gun shots and screams fill the air, All these sounds, her ears couldn’t bear. A slight whimper slips from her lips, And over the broken stone she trips. The shadows run closer, showering her heart with fear, She wishes they would just disappear. They pass by her; she fills with delight, She just wants to see her dad tonight. She shines the light, to show her place, And to the shine comes a familiar face. She doesn’t understand who’s to blame Because on the tag shows her father’s name. She holds in her tears and refrains from crying. She falls to the ground where her dad was lying. She lifts his arm and buries her face in his chest. She closes her eyes wanting to forget the rest. The shadows emerge yet she doesn’t see, How close the end for her would be. They look down at her, aim, shoot, and fire. Being with her dad is her only desire. The night had ended causing a little girl harm But she took her last breath, in her father’s arms.


Details | Free verse | |

Ocean In The Deep Space Of My Heart

I’m diving deep down into the ocean world full of spectacular plasmatic bubbles enchanting creatures breathed them out orange, yellow, pink , purple and red wallowing through dazzling soft neon-colored starfishes in quest of its most marvelous graces weeds with various tones of green wagging gracefully along the way like curtains in musical enchantments and coral reefs in mountain ranges with their majestic beauty in carousels of fish and seahorses still diving deep down into the ocean world in quest of its marvelous graces in unfathomable depth of rainbow-colored whirlpools deep within I see from afar my precious pearls
8th Place Winner Contest: Space Odyssey Judged: 10/5/12 Sponsor: Poet Nathan -----D September 21,2012 by Leonora Galinta


Details | Free verse | |

Carbon Monoxide (CO) Week 2: Carbon Cabrona

Smokeless inhales hurt.
I cough tar on my shirt.
As my black lungs breathe,
Shrilling exhales wheeze.

Cabrona
Falls me
Down to
My knees.

The nicotine cracks
My will.
My composure
Spills.

I want 
This.
I must 
Have this.

I sink
Into
The brink
Of madness.


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten You

Forgotten you
As your mind collects the memories of yesterday
Forgotten You
Epiphanies tie into knotty strings of realization
That very moment. . . 
You merely exist

Back then. . .those smiles
Those. . .distant laughs
Some you remember by name
Gone now maybe
Like the exhalation of the wind
Others dispersed in the world of arbitrary happening
Like leaves from falling, man-made trees
There is no doubt that they have
Forgotten you

Activate the bomb
Ignite the fuse
And you’re on next year’s history book
Never forgotten
But drained of all remaining good

That smile you gave
That happiness
The warm embrace so long ago
Salt-coated with piles of rubbish
Over last remaining mental spurts of comfort
Evil, evil, evil, evil, EVIL. . .
Always absorbed and remembered
. . .though never forgiven. . .

All good and gracious sentiments
Packed up in a box set nonchalantly in Downstair’s storage
. . .that chair with the broken leg in the corner of the room
That mangled cobweb holding a dangling, lifeless spider
A drowned sailor’s hat drifting through the current of the ocean
The single tear from a soldier’s vigilant, memory-stricken eye
The frustrating thoughts of a mute
The unchanged. . .HATED deformations

Forgotten you. . .
One soul brings to light weary, unthought-of happenings
Wedged deep into what she can only imagine
With not even a hint of understanding
. . .of the pain. . . .of the bewildering distortions
Of the ugly. . .
One soul merely vomits sickly verse after verse

As humanity embraces its downfall
The poet hangs onto her unjustifiable, forgotten. . .
Words


Details | Free verse | |

Isolation Keeps

Along roads where mistral sweeps
Loneliness within ambles on
Every other step falling, keeps isolation
While, happiness continues out of sync


Details | I do not know? | |

before you came along

Before you came along
 everything was going all wrong
 i didn't know what to do 
but that was before i knew i needed you

 i would walk down the streets all alone 
going every where but home
 
before you came along
 
i would turn my face to the sky 
wishing i could tell this world a quick  goodbye 

before you came along
 
i would fall down 
so far down i had to look up
 to see the ground 

but before i could shed another tear
 you were here 
 holding me in your arms

you had finally come along
 just in time to help me be strong
 
i love u
 
now u are ready to go
 i did something, 
what,
 i guess ill never know
 this has all played out like a bad song
 because now your going
 going
 going
 GONE :(
 




Details | Lyric | |

Normal To Me

This isn't just a poem This isn't just another emotion This is me, these are my thoughts The Imagery is my sight, And The Allegories are my Life I'm lonely, There is just me But there's so many people around but no one can hear my loudest screams Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me I'm torn, I'm Cut Part of my heart stabbed, and then taken from me The Search for my innocence, Is like a moa hunt Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Laughing and Jokes all directed towards me Just to Hurt me Cover all of the Halls "Fag, Emo, Queer" Words I too often know Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Curling her hair putting on her makeup "You're worthless and nothing to Me" Says the so-called all-loving-one As she screams: "Why am I not Pretty" Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me This is not just a poem not just some words my pen cries with each words But this is Just a Glimpse Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me


Details | I do not know? | |

The Beast Within

Where does my conscious go, when demons raise their fiery eyes, 
They steal my very soul, killing all which is sanctified,
Engulfed by instant fears, no longer hearing loved ones cries, 
The beast within appears, telling me I am justified,

I have already lost, no reprieve from my mortal sin, 
All reason now is blocked, as I become the beast within,
No pity can I feel, as I make my grandiose stand, 
Yes the horror is real, as I destroy all that I can,

Where do my feelings go, when demons raise their snarling lips, 
Bringing an all new low, into my life now torn to bits,
Certain of being right, I flail and thrash as if in fits, 
I threaten and I strike, with great fury the demon spits,

Yet I still stand and shout, my ugly hate and derision, 
Accusing lies said out loud, revolting words - degradation,
Just look at what I’ve done, I scream my blatant confession, 
Ready to blame anyone, for my evil molestation,

Where does my true love go, when demons raise their gruesome head, 
Destroying all I know, without slightest hesitation,
There is no where to hide, hideous deeds - infinite dread, 
Shame crushes senseless pride, nothing left but devastation,

Recoiling in horror, reality enters the room, 
Now begins the torture, judgment of my now mortal soul,
The evil that is me, my conscious has become my tomb, 
I look and all I see, marks my spirit and takes its toll,

Where does salvation go, when demons raise their awful screech, 
Making damnation grow, as dark shadows envelope me,
How can I persevere, and escape from this demon’s reach, 
For he is always near, and may kill eventually,

Cold and chilling insight, I now realize what is at stake, 
And the one path which might, protect the ones I truly love,
But how can I just leave, this world I worked so hard to make, 
And cause even more grief, for family and God above. 

Where does my resolve go, when demons raise their deadly claws,
Tearing at all I know, stealing my conscious care and pride,
I can’t run anymore, all is destroyed everything lost,
Now beaten tired and sore, I’ve lost my path into the light,

Who can I reach out to, when all I love recoil in fear, 
Eyes beseech black and blue, where once was love - now only hate,
Yes I know - I’m the cause, the reason for each falling tear,
And while demons give pause, I must face my terrible fate.


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt

I can't tell you what it is I can't even tell you what it feels like I can only tell you that it's the worst pain You'll ever feel in you life It'll feel like every bone in your body is breaking Like every breath you take will be your last Like every muscle in your body is failing to support you And thats only the least of it. There is so much more! You eyes will feel like they're bleeding from all the tears you'll shed. You tounge will swell with words that you can't say. Your ears will make you question everything coming into them. And your heart, Well thats the worst part of it! It will feel as though its stopped beating... And who knows, maybe it has.


Details | Lyric | |

Godly Illusion

Fake face Fake smile Fake voice I'll run a mile Yes master No master Of course master Now master Gothic witch Gothic dream Your downfall In my smile Eyes radiating False adoration Your spell Oh so vile Empty words Empty syllables I'll empty out Your lies Cold iron Strong will My claws ripping At your heart Claws ripping Blood dripping My icy, gleeful smile Fake face Smashed Fake smile Thrashed Fake voice Silenced You don't fool me Anymore


Details | Free verse | |

Truth

The truth leaks out
Standing there like a frail child
Taking the hands of the elder
Looking through the glass of lonesome
And seeing what rings real
Seeing what feels true
This gash in my heart mends
At the thought of you
But it never truly heals
Stranded in the wasteland of my mind
Brushed by burning cold winds
I fear there are no blinds over you
I fear you will see it
The flaws
The very flaws I use to stitch myself
Locked up inside all of these years
Shadows ready to be freed
Only to be followed by greed
The skies have lost all color
Through the stitching
Truth bleeds
Truth hurts so bad

The truth is I love you
But why am I so sad? 

I can't say a word
My feet are firmly planted on larvae
They slowly eat me away
Hoping I will be gone in time
Before you see
Before you see the truth
I don't want you to see
Perhaps if you only knew
That I love you
Perhaps you wouldn't have to open your eyes


Details | I do not know? | |

I Can Always Pretend

The cold touch of the metal
On my soft bare skin
The turn out can only be fatal
Ill do this with a grin
No one can ever tell
That i even feel this way
Depression doesnt ring their bell
But i know that this is the day
The day this all ends
The day that i fade
The day i make amends
The day i wont be afraid
Iv hidden it for so long
No ones ever known
Im not really this strong
The real me has never been shown
This metal razor is cold
On my oh so soft bare skin
The move im making will be bold
When i decide to let depression win
My life cut short
My life gone
My life had no support
My life is done
This razor now bloody
With a smile on my face
No movement from my body
My smile not out of place
Lying on the floor
Note tucked in my hand
Please do not ignore
For this is what it read
"I ended it for you
I ended it so be happy
Its what i had to do
I even made it snappy
You were the one
That i chose
You made me numb
And let me go
My life had its ending
But see im smiling
Im still pretending
That your 'i love you' wasn't you lying"


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Prose Poetry | |

a fair day

It was a fair day for silence.

The sun had risen up courtly, almost mechanically,
Like a marionette on the strings of a puppeteer.
With the sun came Heat, wrathful to have been woken at such an hour.
As if avenging its early rise, 
Heat caused oppression, 
Discomfort and confusion 
Upon the innocent day.

It was a fair day for exclusion.

Only one was oblivious to the relentless heat,
He sat there motionless, lifeless and corpse-like.
They would glance at him nonchalantly.
He was just a piece of the scenery, 
Always had been there, 
Always would be there, 
Invisible.

It was a fair day for neglect.

Some say once he had been aware,
But life had hollowed him out, 
Left him a shell, 
Unmoving, 
Unblinking.
The day progressed, the light dimmed, 
It was as if fate and destiny had led him to this moment.
If anyone had cared to look, they may have noticed a glint in his eye.
He liked the sunset.

It was a fair day for an end.

The sun slowly made its way back home.
Heat gradually left, bored with the sun’s absence.
Silence was once more.
The sun closed its eyes. 
The moon began its regime over the obeying night sky.

It was a fair day for sweet nothing.

He still sat there, 
But no one knew.
So was he still alive, 
If no one saw him die?


Details | Lyric | |

Watch Me Die

The petals of a rose, they tremble and they fall
Just like my aching heart, my backs against a wall
so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die

Im in an empty room...
all hope disenegrates.
nothing left to do but get drunken, high
im willing to do anything just to get by

so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die
Im forced to sit and watch me die


Details | Rhyme | |

Have You Been Hurt By Religion

Have You Been Hurt By “Religion”?

Are you tired of “religious people”
 knocking at your door?
You wish they’d leave...  “You can’t take it anymore!”

Have you been hurt by “church people” sometime in the past?
Somehow they hurt you...  And the pain continues to last…

Have you been “wounded” by something
 somebody has said?
Perhaps you wonder if “they wish you were dead…”

Perhaps there’s someone that you 
may have “befriended…”
They have done something that
 has hurt you and “offended.”

There’s probably many people that you wish would “go away.”
Because of something they’ve 
done to “darken your day.”

I’ve been there many times…  Believe me I know.
How someone’s actions or words can hurt your soul.

Even those who go to church are 
often not very kind.
And they don’t hesitate to 
give you “a piece of their mind.”

Religion is not the answer.  Look to Jesus 
and the life he gives!
He alone has the power to love
 and completely forgive!

It’s only in his shed blood that you can find atonement.
He can change your life now!  This very moment!

He can heal your broken heart and wounded spirit.
An everlasting joy and love...  He freely gives it!

He can do what no “church” or “religion” could ever do
He can restore your life today.  
And make you BRAND NEW!!!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Verse | |

THERAPY

There are no lies to be written
Real life is how it's read
What I write is the honest truth
No more regrets
I've been pushed 
I've been shoved
Straight in the gut 
Where my heart bleeds out the love
No bandage around 
To patch it up
Pressure more pressure against me
On the floor bleeding
No help to come save me
Pain creeps around the room 
On the floor I try to breathe
Therapy
Need the therapy
Read this aloud 
Know what I'm about
Feel my pain
Read it
Look at my face 
Be it
I get up on my feet
Love still dripping
Someone help me!
I can't see
Therapy
Need the therapy
As I open my eyes
I see plain white bright walls
Around me 
I'm strapped
Noticed I'm patched
What happened to me?
I sit there and wonder 
Why me? Is this my fantasy?
This is what therapy put on me


Details | Rhyme | |

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love?

How can we hurt the very ones that we love?
How can we easily neglect our God above?

It seems like I often heard about many victims
Many times, it’s from a loved one who’s been with them!

The hate and the anger that boils from deep within.
Often “boils over” toward our family and friends.

It’s the love of Christ that we need to find!
His love can totally cleanse our life and mind!

The hearts of many families are bruised and broken.
By the harshness of many of the words spoken.

If we would allow Jesus to rule and reign.
We’d have little reason to murmur or complain.

If we would yield our lives to the master’s will…
The emptiness and brokenness, he shall fulfill!

If we could allow ourselves to sit at Jesus’ feet…
He can make any family totally complete!

If we could just listen to what Christ has to say.
His words of life would brighten our day!

As a family…  Won’t you give HIM a chance?
And allow his love to change your circumstance!

Won’t you allow his spirit to bind you together?
You can experience his peace today and forever!

He can change your family throughout!
This is his will and what God is all about!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Caught In The Black Rain

She's caught in the black rain, emotions are swimming in darkness, as the
 acid rain impairs her vision; within the depth her soul she's unable to find goodness.

The falling black rain has her mind in a state of confusion, murder is no longer
 an ill illusion, actions has drawn it's fatal conclusion.

Upon her the black rain fell bringing misery with pain, living life in vain, constantly
 seeing loss with no gain, and her mental health is far from being sane.

Few have already seen the devastating effects of falling black rain, it's aftermath
 makes the sanest go insane, and those who survive the storm their lives will
  never go back to being simple nor plain.

Falling black rain is a storm formed from mental pain, financial strain, loss with
 no gain, and living life in vain.

Though, in my theory of goodness lies this conclusion," Things that we see as 
 being favorable unto living life is nothing more than our ill illusions," and there-
   fore it's causing us an in-depth state of confusion.


Details | Epitaph | |

Death Gone Bad



To be cast into the abyss
   With-out so much
As a Spirit attached
         ------
    Is an Obituary

              GF



    *When you are cast into the abyss, with-out a Spirit OR Soul being  attached,
      That mean's that you are already dead!  The next step called for is to "the Obituary".


       ******* Follow me on facebook@mediancircle131********


Details | Free verse | |

Hate-filled Love

I hate your touch and your smile.
Wicked little creature.

I hate your blue eyes and brown hair.
Sinful hate filled liar.

I hate your voice and your scent.
Rotten two-timer.

I hate you everything you do for what you did.
But we loved and touched, smiled, talked and connected physically.

You lied about our moments spend, 
you can't look me in the eyes.

You lead me on and stole my youth, 
but don't have the nerve to speak to me now.

I hate your beauty and your thievery;
but loved the way you made me fill.

I hate that you now do the same to another girl;
your lies blind her.

I hate the diseases you carry; 
love the infection you gave.

I love you and can't let go,
hate because I’m smarter than this.

I hate this poem because I think of you with every word...
Your eyes, your smile, your hair, your skin, and your kiss.

Most of all...

I love you for the time we had.
I hate you because you don't want me now. 


Now what???


Details | Rhyme | |

emo for no emotions? or for emotions?

The emotions that i feel inside
are like nothing that i've had when i'm alive
Most of the time i hide myself in darkness
and I feel as if i drown in coldness

The days surpass me like never before
with joy and happiness knocking at my door

I ignore them and go on 
i go on as if there's nothing wrong
I am in the dark with no sense of feeling
trying to not lie to those around me

They ask if they can help in any way
I say that i am fine
When actually i have millions of things inside my mind

They say emotions are just things people feel
when actully it can also be actions

Teens cut themselves and claim they are emos
when they really have more friends than foes
Can emo be for emotional for those who can't understand
what they hold dear to them everyday "hand-in-hand"?

Times can be rough
but that doesn't mean that you can act all tough

What does emo mean to you?
can you not see those who love you and me?
No emotions or emotions,
you can't pick both,
you see?

Don't try to be who yu want to be 
just be yourself
And that applies to you and me


Details | Rhyme | |

They Tell Me

Smile they tell me
Laugh, they tell me
Look up, they tell me
I'm scared
You're loved, they tell me
Encircled, they tell me
Not lonely, they tell me
Unprepared
I'm worthless, so tell me
Just why they tell me
I'm loved.. oh? Tell me
Just why
I'm shaking and lonely
Lost and not homely 
A tear in my eye,
This sky
Is calling upon me
Is falling upon me
It's downing upon me,
In the dirt 
Life's hopeful, they tell me
"I didn't mean that", they tell me
"It doesn't matter," I say, 
"it hurt"


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare

Rest is a requirement,
for all,
in order to have this,
sleep is a must,
after a day’s of hard work,
wherein sleep is a must,
for all,
to freshen up the next day,
though the mind goes to sleep,
and the body follows suit,
the subconscious mind awakens,
and in lie,
a number of dreams,
awaiting you,
the dream,
that always reigns in my mind,
is the death of my wife, 
not once,
but more than a couple of times,
why does this dream,
often arise in my mind,
is the answer I seek,
is it because of the love we have towards one another,
or is it the compassion for each other,
or is it in relation of serving one another, 
or is it a kind of warning,
a warning to take care in the future, 
some people may call this as the sixth sense,
while I call this a nightmare,
as nightmares are really scary,
yes, nightmares are quite scary indeed, 
if you do agree with me or not!!

From:-Mr.Manu Nair (dated 19th November, 2012)


Details | Rhyme | |

Take Me Away

I dream in darkness.
I sleep to die.
Erase my sorrow.
Erase my lies.
Our burning ashes,
Blacken the day.
A world of nothingness.
Take me away.


Details | Elegy | |

Moon Walk on Your Grave

Moon Walk on Your Grave

A life begun in stardom,
now, ending up in shame.
Relentless media, cruel world,
who then is there to blame.

A sadness inside,
no tears on your face.
The pain all but over,
mass confusion erase.

In wonder we watch,
can a life be explained?
Can't surface your agony,
under facade you remained.

Let's focus on the talent,
musical joy that you gave.
In peace now I pray,
moon walk on your grave.

© Rene' Brady 2009


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

It never quits
My dad's h i t s
I see myself in the mirror
And I am to become
But I just go numb
It hurts to see
What all he has done to me
It never fails
When he hears me wail
It never quits
My dad's h i t s


Details | Narrative | |

Shut Your Dirty Mouth

Tonight I thought I shook off a roach. Swore I felt it approach. Imagined it crawling down
my throat. My Dad came out from the den and asked What’s Wrong? I said, Nothing, I’m fine
when I still felt bits of dead roach nesting in my spine. That’s Divine.

I feel the Holy Spirit in me tonight. Jesus Christ! I must have done right! Don’t come
near me, I’m contaminated, clearly. Oh, God, need me! So that the sky doesn’t turn black
every time I look up to seek your advice. My chips are stacked, I’ve got them wracked.
Roll the dice six six six every time. On my Dime. I think I may have crossed the line.
Maybe I’m sick. Maybe I’m not hip to this.

Maybe I just need to settle down. Take a breath. Take a pill. Sit real still. Stare until
I become comatose blare my music so loud that my eyes become brazen and I can’t hear what
you’re saying.

Do roaches bite? I wonder at night. As I hide beneath the covers that used to shield us
from one another. Protect us from the evils in this world, bring no harm to little girls.
Now they just cover up old condoms and dirty food crumbs.

Numb. Numb. Numb. Can’t move. Limbs feel numb, limbs feel wrung, limbs feel slung,
stammering and slurring like grandma after her stroke.

This is a joke. The world’s a joke. We’re a joke.

Then why aren’t we laughing? Why aren’t we guffawing until our paws fall off, our mittens
become smitten and we cough up our dirty lungs with joy.

Oh boy, here I go again. If this is a joke why aren’t we laughing? Why aren’t we guffawing
until our paws fall off, our mittens become smitten and we cough up our dirty lungs with joy.


Details | ABC | |

GoodBye

                               GOODBYE

I miss the way you hugged me when I cried and how you told me how you loved me 
every night but now you won't even look at me and you don't even talk to me 
anymore and when I'm upset you just laugh and walk away........... All I want to 
know is what did I do that was so bad that you treat me like a punching bag........ I 
miss the way you kissed me but I guess you've moved on and I try boy do I try but 
your all I dream about all I think about is you, you were my world and now your 
gone I'm so lost without you I cry every night because someone will say your 
name....... What I miss most of all is that I could tell you anything but now you won't 
even listen.............. What kills me is you saying goodbye for good goodbye god 
those words kill me every time good bye good bye good bye....


Details | I do not know? | |

Pain and Loneliness

 Loneliness and pain creates a void
 Dark shadows haunt, torment and torture
 only reflective thoughts of happiness
 
 Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
 It is futile to hope and dream

 Emptiness is overwhelming
 A deepening sea of nowhere consumes
 And eats away at every connecting thread

 Nothing considered worthy remains
 Destined to walk through life less ordinary
 Alone, exiled, different and disdained.


Details | Free verse | |

Backfire

What’s the use of trying any longer?
Nothing comes out the way I want it to flow
Words perpetrate my every being
And I strain to get my temperament to slow
But my cognizance is reeling in a panic of waves
The voltage of emotion is overwhelming me
What is this journey impending to?
What is my purpose?
To obliterate or build?
I keep assurances only to splinter and shatter them
I melt into their regrets and apologies without looking back
Then I am slapped right back in the face
With my own waves of shame and qualm
I wish I was like you
I wish I could put a guise on and never show my face
I wish I could take a dagger and extinguish the sorrow
Destroy tomorrow
But it keeps coming back with twinges and pains!
I want to scream my way into your existence
I want to end all the overwrought thoughtlessness
I want to be lifted in your ease
To be beautiful and clever like you
The demon is me and I am foaming with misery
My horns are melting by your pertinacious confrontations
I can’t reply to the desolation of nothingness
I can’t make it all go away
I’m trapped! RELIEVE ME!
Cursed adrenaline rushes about me
My body is prickling and waterlogged in blackness
I swallow the poisons of my backwash
And back-fire every stab in the back


Details | Blank verse | |

The Searching (1995)

I’ve been dying inside for so many years
I’ve bee searching for a cure
I try so hard to understand what my body is telling me
I can feel my heart aching, the void I feel is so strong
I’ve been searching for ways to fill what was never given as a boy
I had love once and for a time my heart and soul were content
But I put my happiness at jeopardy long ago
And since that time I just haven’t been the same
I’ve accomplished so many things in such a short time
But I’m being engulfed by rage anger
The beast within my soul will not leave me alone
My heart, mind and soul are not sound
I can feel that I am at war with myself
I’ve been exercising my body and mind 
But my soul is lost in the abyss
This hollow feeling of loneliness
So many emotion are building up inside
My quest for happiness seems to be an endless journey.
I’m breathing so heavy lately and 
the pain within my chest grows stronger
the building of my foundation is weighing me down
the child inside is hiding but I can hear him crying
my smile has disappeared and my eyes have become so sad.
I have no strong religious belief.
I’ve been seeking exodus in so many alternate ways.
They say you must love yourself first
In order to gain peace with your own inner beast
I must face all of my fears, it is only then that this dead and 
empty feeling will heal the child inside. 


Details | ABC | |

A Yearn for a Smile 9-21-11

	A yearn… simply something that you want or long for. As a yearn to finish, a yearn to achieve, a yearn for a like, a yearn for a smile is something that you drastically want, a desire. Something that you spend long hours, nights even day dreaming hours thinking about how you can earn that smile. What can you do…. or what can you say … things such as a conversation sparks, likes even dislikes, mostly anything that will crack a smile. These are things that truly show signs of something far greater than fame, sex, money, power. What is it? Something more than I have yet to find. So as I search for the answer I over shoot the entrance with rapid thinking of what she wants, her likes, her dislikes. But truly it will only be earned by who you are, what you want to be, yourself, your feelings your desires, your yearn. So when you yearn for that smile or that special something it can only be earned by being you, no one else. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and try to see past the makeup or tan or piercing and just look at yourself… then take that image and imprint it to yourself forever because to find happiness and your yearn  can only be earned one way. Trying to watch her and she how she reacts to certain things just to make myself seem better when I finally open my mouth to her will only make you distant from that special someone.  With me I personally see myself as buff pierced orange person, while trying to continue to follow the people who I look up to the most. So as you struggle and go through life’s trials and tribulations always look at your yearn or what it once it what was. Think about how you felt when you failed or succeeded and try to make yourself a better person from it. Not by adding more glamour or appeal to yourself but by being closer to yourself. What you really are. Because only then can you truly say you earned your yearn of a smile or that special someone, even if there not with you, apart of them will be and that’s the part they left. The part that made you better. More complete. 			So never forget your yearn of her..


Details | Free verse | |

A Winter Walk

I needed some time, some space to think
And it was either take a walk or drink
And since I knew drinking would solve nothing
I put on my shoes and I started walking

The wind blew the chilly air
Through my unkempt locks of hair,
But I hardly felt the biting cold,
Walking with memories warm in my soul

The street was dark, cold and silent
It was funny the places where my mind went
While I slowly walked across the blacktop road
No destination in mind where I would go

It's funny the things you will remember
I recall a day in mid-December
And how suddenly, nothing seemed the same
After that man at the door called my name

I followed him into a secluded office
Where he would tell me his diagnosis
And suddenly I felt my beating heart
But the rest of the world had just stopped

I felt a hand in mine get tighter
I don't think the room could have been quieter
I shook my head in total disbelief
Too numb to feel anything, even grief

The question asked, "What does this mean?"
But the answer didn't mean anything
My head too fuzzy, my thoughts too jumbled
I turned to my love to speak, but mumbled

I don't remember what else he said
Because of the swirling thoughts in my head
It took three days before I could even think
Which led me to tonight: walk or drink

So I walked and I thought and I truly remembered
Dreams of the past, love treasured forever
Friendship and laughter, sorrow and pain
As though I was reliving my life over again

Little things that I'd sorely taken for granted
Things that didn't happen the way that I planned it
Promises made and ones that were broken
Love that was shared, love still unspoken

The frosty air filled me with a sense of renewal
Inside my soul was fighting a duel
The angel, the devil, both battling demons
Inside of myself I fought to redeem them

I don't know who won the ethereal battle
And I'm not sure right now it even matters
Where once I believed everything for a reason
I'm finding that harder and harder to believe in


Details | Rhyme | |

Drop the ocean and lift the sky

Drop the ocean, lift the sky, Today seems like a goodbye, Memories of your voice forever linger. Drink the potion, get me high, Tears start to multiply , You wouldn't even try to lift a finger. Cast the demons, out of here, Lift me up, I have no fear, Show you what it means to say I love you. Wake me up, grab a beer, Fill my cup, and shed a tear , My love for you has always been this true. Drain the ocean , engulf the land, Time to focus , begin again, Learn to live without you by my side. Convey the notions, my own brand, Revolve my life, and take a stand, Without you , I know, I will be alright. Ring the bell, Sound the horn, Today i have been reborn, I can do this all on my own. Rise the fell, Mend the torn, Persevere through all the scorn, My , look at how much you have grown. Drop the ocean , lift the sky, Today seems like a goodbye, Memories of your voice forever linger.


Details | Blank verse | |

Blood and Bullets

Inspired by the Connecticut tragedy and another minor shooting that happened in my home state
-------------------------------------

Blood and Bullets

That night we cried ourselves to sleep
For each of the little children the blood did weep
Serve upon this misery and damage
No words will excuse the savage

The vultures swoop, spread the sugar coated lies
But still the frozen child dies
Yet they still wish to remove what little safety we have
But they fail to see that will not stop the slings and arrows they have

For the media projects the fame they crave
Like wild dingos they consume what we fail to save
Serve and protect is not the duty of just some but all as a whole
ALL AS A WHOLE

And we fail
And we fail

The cameras prance around like costumed horses in a dance
All the while the mud splattered reality burns and singes the lines of damned fantasies
We are to blame, shining glitter and fame on the damned souls that should be burned
We spit acidic words of hate all the while praising them in glittering spectral lights of fame 
They do not heed the angry words, but revel in the talk of them...them..
Them...

It's

All

About

THE KILLER

Blood and bullets pollute the spoiled ground but no one cares for the rotten
Sadness rings through for a week but soon the victims are forgotten
But no one forgets the criminal...Infamous
He is immortalized by the fame...fame...infamous

Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets

Blood stains
Bullets jump

dead forgotten
left rotten

Monster remembered

remembered

Blood and bullets

Blood

and bullets


Details | I do not know? | |

princess in a tower

far far away 
lives a girl with nothing left to 
say

tears tumble down her pale 
white cheeks
but they're  are all getting used 
to it
because she has been crying 
for weeks

she only wanted one thing
it was a small diamond ring

the ring was to set on her 
finger 
and by her side
 a man to linger

her world soon proved
it wasnt so great 
for they cast away 
her one and only true soul 
mate

their love was one that would 
last
for forever
but now because of them
it would last for never

oh the pain!
 how it never changes
but stays the same
 
she feels so lost
 in a world so framiliar  
she turns round and round
on this cold life less land

she wants to scream 
and she wants to shout
 but she she is haunted by that 
shadow of dout 

so she cries
and slowly kisses old happy 
dreams 
goodbye


Details | Rhyme | |

Writing With A Pin

Writing with a pin,
I know it is wrong.
Writing with a pin,
Blood is being drawn.

Writing with a pin,
My skin's burning and searing.
Writing with a pin,
It's wrong, but it has a satisfying feeling.


Details | Lyric | |

Gotta Let Their Soul Cry

 Raped and Molestated in childhood, 
   Abused and Misused in pre-adulthood,
     Alone and confused they stood; feeling
       like tainted goods.

 Let their soul cry, maybe then; they can
  regain their pride. 

 They gotta let their soul cry

 Their darkest secret's they lock  away
   within, this is why their flesh constantly
    feast off sin; and everything in life has a
     beginning, but never render an ending.

 Let their soul cry, Crying is the only way to
  gain their piece of mind.
   
One might ask," Why"? Then , I will reply,"
  They need to see at least one day filled with
     promise rather than pain and see the sun
        without having rain.
     
 They gotta let their soul cry, before their sin
  cause their flesh to die.


Details | Free verse | |

City of Shadows

A lonesome boat in the harbor rocks insanity.
Big waves of the black sea roll across the white sands
that fade into darkness for eternity.
Far from the life giving drops of rain are predators
in the city of shadows.
Feelings from the last solem breezes blow.
As the evening sun fades slowly into the night,
the pavement glistens like cracked glass
from the earlier evening rain.
A lack of silence remains.
In the city of shadows,
screaming voices creep in the corner of your mind.
Visions of the garden where the flowers died.
The dark alley reveals the emptiness of peace within your soul,
and death reveals the cold, cold truth way beneath the black crumbled earth.
Slapped with a strike of lightning,
disrupting the fall of silence where secrets crawl to hide,
in the foxholes of one's mind.
In the city of shadows, bewildered minds tick with the time of the clock.
Breath by breath falls perfectly out of place,
and darkness opens a new gate.
Tunes of the violin slowly fade away.
A new awakening to blindness,
in the city of shadows.


Details | Couplet | |

I'm Sorry Part 2

I'm sorry for the ways I fight,
I'm sorry that I dim your light.

I'm sorry I'm so negative,
That I am so competative.

I'm sorry that I'm so outrageous,
I'm sorry my hurt's so contagious.

I don't want to see your heart eache,
Cuz when I do my heart it breaks.

I'm sorry that I'm not so strong,
But you inspire my hearts song.

I'm not alone cuz now I see,
Your light that's shining just for me.

I'm sorry that I'm up and down,
But, Dear, You win the patience crown.

My love for you's so strong, please see,
A fire burns for you in in me.

I know that It's hard to believe,
But God will help us, just you see.


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Is Terrible----

The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.

                   
                   
                   
          Summer
Gratias


Details | Haiku | |

Abrupt

Sleeping in sorrow
If I don't wake tomorrow
Then all will be well.


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers

I once heard a saying,
that the happiest people are the saddest
Shining because they’ve seen the darkest
Like the lotus that grows out of mud
Or the rotting stump that bears a bud..

You never know what troubles the mind
So be careful with words unkind
The glowing person just beside you
Could be a crumbling ruin behind the hairdo
 Most people struggle everyday
Souls burdened with decay..

I guess it takes a lot of courage
To act normal with that damage
Hard to believe that under the surface
Lives a soul with no purpose
A cry for help won’t be any crisper
Listen to the their inner whisper..


Details | Free verse | |

Did you not Notice?

Did you not notice I was slippin,
                       cause you didnt catch my fall.
                        Did you not notice I had fallin 
                             cause you didnt help me up...
                                 so I stayed there for awhile.
                                 Did you not notice I was drowning,
                                   cause you didnt offer me your hand....
                                 so I sank to the bottom.
                               Did you not notice  I was dying,
                             cause you didnt try to revive me.
                            Did you not notice I was Dead,
                         Cause you werent at my Funeral.
                       Did you not notice I was in Hell,
                    When i would haunt you with my soul caught on fire...
                                   and you didnt put out the flames.
                           ... And im just Wondering how did you not notice?
                                                

                        By.Jessica Bowie


Details | I do not know? | |

The Only Way

A life of pain and mistaken thoughts
Afew sliced veins a kid mistaught
A kids mistrust
His soul in tatters
To his wrist this razor was thrust
His dreams shattered
A life of lies
A kid misunderstood
His unheard cries
Wanting nothing but to cause some good
Sitting alone
Thinking of his past
His future unknown
For this day will be his last
Wanting only for this pain to be gone
Suicide, the only way he knows how
So he knows this dawn
It will be over now, all over
He grabs his blade
Holds it to his wrist
His life betrayed
Longing to feel its final kiss
He screams
Blood starting to gush
It was just like his dreams
Such a rush
He smiles knowing
The pain is over now
His blood if flowing
It was the only way he knew how


Details | Blank verse | |

Love Song

Here’s what I’m thinking now 
at the end of the world: 

There are no atheists in foxholes— 
no theists in politics. 
If knowledge is power, 
and power corrupts, 
then why did I bother reading you, Cicero? 

Does it matter that I didn't’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

There’s a poetry reading tonight 
whence I’I'll chide other poets 
who don’t sit alone. 
I won’t bring up death 
but I might have to breathe, 
even into a mike 
and mouth lines to get a snap or a boo 
maybe even a wince or two. 

Just maybe I’I'll talk about love 
and how following your heart is like following a dog— 
it only leads to vittles and (female dogs). 
But how many times have I used that line 
since the story I wrote about you, 
a witty and sexy and fictional you? 
Most likely I’I'll read something tonight about you. 

I won’t recite it from memory 
because I don’t think about you that much anymore, 
not even when I search for my socks in your drawer 
or when I put on the scratchy sweaters you give me, 
horizontally striped to bring out my eyes? 

I don’t remember your eyes 
except they are blue. 
And I don’t remember you, 
not even when I smell cucumber and apple, 
not even when I sleep on my side of the bed 
or when you walk through the door 
happy to see me; 
even then I don’t remember you. 
Does it matter that I don’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

How about a few one-liners 
for the end of days?— 

Depression is self-awareness, 
which you’d know if you were; 
I need Ritalin to listen to you, 
Lithium to hug you, 
Viagra to feel you, 
and Valium to sleep. 

All you need 
is me standing there, waiting at home 
with turns of phrase and word plays 
telling you about why I hate Ayn Rand 
but want to buy as much as I can 
and how I love celebrity gossip 
and detest poetry slams 
and find rhyming trite 
except when I am. 

Hypocrites can still be right, 
which you do understand 
because you nod at my nonsense 
about fighting the man. 

But now, at the end of all things— 
I’m speechless and witless and pointlessly well-read, 
and you’re just sitting there, smiling 
asking me to pass the bread.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Disease

Depression is a disease
A disease just like cancer
Some people underestimate it
“Snap out of it” is not an answer.

I may not have any open sores
Or lumps that you can see
They are all on the inside
And the pain won’t let me be

I have tons of scars
That covers my wrist
I lie awake at night and pray
That by death I may be kissed

It’s a real pain inside
People don’t understand
They are not willing to give
The love I demand

On the outside I look healthy
On the inside I know I’m not
The pain gets worse everyday
Even worse that I could have thought

I withdraw myself and put myself
In a place where I can’t be seen
All because life can be so
So extremely mean

If I go missing, then please don’t bother
Don’t worry your little head
Because the next time you find me
I may as well be dead



Details | Free verse | |

Darkness

Complete darkness
No sound at all
This is where you live
No one to talk to
The blackness, engulfing
Smothering the air out of you
In this vast void with lack of light
You are forced to believe
That you see a speck
A tiny green light
Way off in the distance
This blot of light brings so much hope
So many desires
You can hardly breath
Suddenly the light grows larger
You feel elated
Then FLASH
Complete darkness
No sound at all
Things are back
To the way they will always be


Details | Free verse | |

new sensations harbor ill will toward the mind

New ambient light taking hold of that which was once darkened by time.
New thoughts eluding desires and all answers to the questions at hand.
Laminated emotions taking the places of the empty spaces inside the mind.
Feel the love from behind the reinforced glass? Didn’t think it was possible.
Now the age of reasoning comes into play, now is the time for deep thought.
The devil calls for pain, in waves that crash on this body like water on rock.
No visible damage but over time it wears it down to nothing, little by little.
Plunging into the deep end surrounding the mind and clouding the vision.
Breathing is impossible, gasping for air only brings water into the lungs.
This feels like dying. This feels like numbing. This feels better than living.


Details | Lyric | |

Borderline's Wreckage

I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You


Details | Bio | |

THE LYRE WAS HIS DISGUISE

Nero was a cruel, unfair emperor playing 
the lyre as his disguise to conceal his consuming guilt;
and he caused destruction without feeling
an ounce of pity for those he governed with distrust.


Why did he want to destroy a city so mighty and glorious,
and replace it with a Golden Palace and magnificent gardens?
It seems inconceivable, but it was confirmed by many as the Great Fire
which ravaged Rome for six horrible days...who dared to call Nero a liar? 


On the rooftop, with the widest view of Rome burning underneath,
Nero played the lyre as his disguise...singing,"The destruction of Troy" with derision.  
And while looking so innocent and sad, he did nothing to control it;
wasn't his madness an evident sign of that contemplated act brought to completion?  


Finding the scapegoats was too easy for him, to cover up his evil deed...
he blamed the Christians and had them thrown to the beasts of the Colosseum,
but many more were crucified along the Via Appia and was Nero appeased?
No, he still continued to play the lyre as his disguise with increased delirium.


Details | Narrative | |

this was me

it began so innocently
we exchanged ideas on poetry
his art, the suffering he endured
he preyed upon my compassion
as he meticulously bided his time...

i felt safe as we expressed
our mutual love of words
i was excited, i was learning,
unbeknowst to me, i was his prey..

many months and thousands of hours, 
talking, reaffirmed my trust; faith in him
he shared his life, triumps & tragedies
i supported all he desired for himself..

i understood, i felt his pain, 
his drive i admired, he overcame tremedous odds,
became a doctor so others would not suffer as he had;
he baited me; the innocent and naieve one.

living life with no regret,
i chose to take a leap of faith,
he guided me, alleviated my fears,
of promises to cherish and adore me..

as a tiger waits patiently to pounce on his prey
i was oblivious to his hatred inside,
he was a master of manipulation
his mission - to destroy me..

i felt he was worth giving 
up all i knew to build a life
he so lovingly described to me,
little did i know, his words - poison..

america bound i left everything i knew; i loved.
the terror of his drunken rages, his icy silence,
the cruelty of his words stung like red hot coals.
what he admired most about me,intensified his hatred.

the vacancy in his eyes was terrifying, 
i was alone in a strange country, 
knowing no one, in a house, not a home, 
full of tension, rage, abuse; numb and in shock;
this was my reality..

with each painstaking day of living in terror
dreading his arrival, my fear reached new heights;
i had enough; i was leaving.
his rage increased, his words pure venom..

i was numb, shaking, fear drove me to action
he became desperate, i did not sleep 
for fear of never waking, his actions so terrifying
i felt a strength within, empowering me..

planning my escape, fear became my ally,
i reached the airport and did not stop shaking
until safely on the plane, doors shut, 
moving down the runway to take-off;
i wept, i crumbled, i collapsed.

jubilantly at home, i felt peace, safe, 
and soaked in the beauty of my freedom; my home.
it has been six weeks; i have flashbacks, 
terror still haunts me; i am determined 
to not let another change me.

i am healing and am grateful for every
moment i smile, smell a flower, witness
the marvel of each sunrise and sunset.
i am a blessed girl.

~this was me~ 


Details | Lyric | |

Why me, cruel world, WHY ME?

Cruel, cruel world,
Why me?
I never hurt you,
Why must you hurt me?

When does it stop?
That tearing pain inside me.
Will it ever leave?
It's slowly driving me crazy.

This life will end,
But why must I wait?
Let me go now,
I want it to end!

Don't hold me here,
In pain that's so deep.
Take me away,
To a better place.

I want out,
I never wanted this.
Why should I live?
I don't want to be here!

You tear me apart,
You say to be strong.
I'm crackling and crumbling,
As I scream out in rage;

        WHY ME?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Demonic Child

I stare down the alley, upon a tree.
The Demon Child does stare at me.
I look back and He isn't there,
Leaving me frightened and unaware.

I can feel His unlimited hate,
Piercing flame burns as Hell's gate.
That evil Thing sees through my soul.
Each eye is like an empty hole.

I run with my very soul's essence,
But nothing can relieve me of His presence.
I turn around, and there are more,
So i reach down, onto the floor.

I pick up a club of nails and wood,
And I facing them, there I stood.
Looking forward, I was ready to fight.
With what ever remained of my soul's might.

I swung so hard, my club did peel,
But useless against skin hard as steel.
I gather my strength and lunged ten feet,
Over a fence and onto the street.

I look with happiness, then almost cried,
The oncoming cars have no one inside.
There is nothing, no one, but Them and me.
Why is this how it has to be?

I am exhausted, but continue to sprint,
The light of hope is only a glint.
I get an idea, and find some rope.
I know this is my only hope.

I climb all the way to the roof of my house,
And I hide there like a panic-stricken mouse.
With none in sight, I can finally rest.
What happened next, I couldn't have guessed.

As I lay in wait, Something taps my shoulder.
My stomach sinks just like a boulder.
He just stands there, pointing at me.
I am certain it's futile to flee.

Because they are all there, voices dark but true:
"Why do you make it so easy for us to find you?"


Details | Free verse | |

Only Once

Darkness laid around us like a blanket
Consuming us in its womb
She was crying
I was quiet

Crickets chirped softly in the distance

Her face was buried in my chest
She was shaking like a small child
I felt numb
She was sorry

The moon looked down upon us

I thought it would be different
I thought I would be empowered
She thought it would be different
She thought she would be free

I rolled her softly over
I sat up to view the night
She curled up in a ball
Still wriggling with remorse

Patting her on the shoulder
I lit a cigarette


Details | Free verse | |

The Past Haunts Me

The past is what haunts me.
Its what kicks me down.
Its what follows me...
I used to get bullied at school, all the time.
And i have noticed, that it is slowly coming back..
And i find myself asking "Why me?"
I find myself wondering why it is coming back...
Im thinking "Will it ever end? Or just keep coming back to haunt me?"
I cant take this anymore,
It is killing me inside.
I feel like nothing.
I feel as if i am alone.
I feel as if i have nothing.
I feel as if no one cares.
No one, no one understands.
I feel as if im living in my past.
I cant take this anymore,
Its just to much..
I want to leave..
But i cant get myself to do it..
So i shall wait..
Until the day..
That i can leave..
And leave this world happy,
Without me..


Details | Free verse | |

Lamenting Spirit

Seemingly standing alone,
In the shadows of doubt and fear,
Lost, cold, forgotten,
Cold is the grasp of death that nears

Seeking a hand in darkness of solitude,
Wishing for nothing but a love,
Turned away, cast aside, borne not even a stray, lone thought,
Towering aloft, looked down upon from far above

Throned so high overhead, just as kings of old,
Glared down upon, a lowly tear forsaken so,
Caught within a trap, drowning, mists of sorrow,
A voice unheard, a voice deserted, only a voice in woe

Wandering such great, forlorn paths,
A derelict mind harshly beat, a mind that has since long been vacant,
Rove, this neglected child does,
One mind among so many, outcast, this dolor mind abeyant. 


Details | Lyric | |

Why Must It Be

Can I let you go? Will you be okay? Where you're headed now...to a better place Listen to my words of forgiveness relieving this pain I'd give anything to have you back again To hold you once more in my arms, one more day of happiness you now dwell within my heart Your innocent smile is forever a distant memory, and the times that we share are precious treasures that I spend reliving The Shadow of Death Took you in just one breath Why must it be? I cry behind this closed door, searching desperately for an answer, yet all I feel is an emptiness inside... despair haunts me forevermore Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? Why does this have to hurt? Cancer robbed thy life from thee... Why must it be? Fly away Angel Child of Mine Trod thy broken paths, roam away, fly and be free... Why must it be?


Details | Quatrain | |

Minor Discomfort

Does everybody feel the same as I do?
Lost? Adrift? Disconnected? Confused?
Does anyone know how to ease the hurt of truth
For the accuser, as well as the accused?

I've heard there's bliss
Found somewhere in ignorance
For those who have been stripped
Of their already fleeting innocence

So I continue to move through this life
Practiced smile, that doesn't quite reach my eyes
Which instead reflect the emptiness
That fills me up inside

It hurts to feel so alone and uncertain
Consumed by doubt and fear
Eventually life becomes a burden
Damaged beyond all repair

The temptation to numb all sensation
It more powerful than one might believe
I'll sacrifice the pleasure, to relieve the devastation
As passion gives way to apathy

Say whatever you want
About those who dwell on the past
Go ahead and judge me from your moral soapbox
While you cower behind your mask

The opinions of most matter very little to me
It won't be taken to heart as you intend it to be
First you'd have to practice the words you preach
If you ever do then I promise I'll start listening


Details | Acrostic | |

FOR RENT

Frame is solid, some refurbishing needed; I have a room for rent
Only needs a few repairs and my patience has well been spent
Ready for immediate occupancy as soon as one can spare

Renovations commencing instantly; rent is somewhat fair 
Equipped with all the essentials; a spacious room is what you’ll find
Needs an well organized individual; one able to dwell inside this mind 
Today it’s clean and tidy as can be; tomorrow's a new day, I'll wait and see 

© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | Senryu | |

#43

2 a.m. no sleep
Restless, not even tired yet
The candle flickers


Details | I do not know? | |

Be A Good Kid And Roll Me A Joint

When you are nine years old 
and sifting the seeds out 
of your parents pot for them, 
you can't really preach 
about the dangers of cigarettes
and second-hand smoke...
even though you know them.

You know better than to miss a seed
and let it ''pop'' while they are smoking it.
''What are you lazy or just too stupid? ''
''Is it really that hard to make sure 
all the seeds are out? ''

Once you've proven yourself with the sifting job, 
maybe they'll think enough of you 
to actually let you roll one.
If you're lucky.
Then you're a real ''big helper''.
Then they really like having you around.
Because they love you.

But, if you're stupid enough 
to roll a joint that isn't tight 
or comes apart while they're smoking it...
you'll be sorry.
Because then they'll tell all their friends 
just how stupid their worthless kid is.
''Stupid kid.
Can't even roll a good joint.
What good are you''? 

Just wait...you're almost ten.
Then they'll have you smoke one yourself.
''It'll make you much cooler.
Because you're such a dork.
You really need help''. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Gone

As the tears fall down from my face,
I think about that magical place.
You took me there when I was young,
but that was before the pain begun.
You walked me down the road of life,
preparing me to be a mother and a wife.
You would hold my hand and say have no fear,
mommy's not going anywhere, I'll always be here.
But that was wrong and so were you,
you left me mom, what am I to do?
I've been told life goes on,
but it can't be, because you're still gone.
I pray at night to see you in my dreams,
but you're never there, just terror and screams.
How could this happen, how could this be?
The woman I love so dearly up and left me.
I go to the grave every afternoon,
I sang our favorite song, it was a nice little tune.
But since your gone I've changed some things,
about marriage and babies and diamond rings.
Those things are not important to me now,
I ask myself, how did this happen, when and how?
You let yourself go to that place in the sky,
but it happened so sudden mom, please tell me why?
You left me a note by your bed,
you wrote moments before you ended up dead.
Please tell me why you took your own life,
you were a such loving mother and a dear wife.
You didn't write much, just a few lines,
to tell me you love me, and it would be better in time.
But now that your gone, it's not better at all,
I just lay in my bed, I scream and I bawl.
To know what you done, it's too hard to bare,
I stand at your grave with a cold desperate stare.
You were a daughter, a loving mother, and a dear wife,
Why did you do it mom, why did you use that knife?
I wonder everyday, it's all I think about,
There's only one thing it could be, without a doubt.
You went to a dark place, filled with murder and thugs,
I know why I lost you mom, you could no longer fight the drugs.
You could have reached out and told someone before,
now it's too late, death has already knocked and opened your door. 
I'm sorry, so sorry, I could not see,
the reason you are dead is because of me.
I wasn't there to help when you needed me most,
Now I can't see you, not an image or a ghost.
I've answered my question, I just waited too long,
I know my mistake now, but it's too late, your gone.


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost And Alone

Have you ever been so lost that you feel that you will never find your way out, That 
the whole world has moved on and left you behind. You want someone to come 
find you make things ok again but as you look as far as you can see there is 
never anyone there. You yell for help but again no one is there to hear you. You 
can run but there is no end no way out. You just stop and sit there waiting hoping 
to be found to be some were you belong be loved and cared for, The air keeps 
getting colder and the loneliness darkens you. You start asking God why? But he 
never answers, You think is he even there is he real? guess not you know that 
people in the world have it worse then you but that don't mean you pain don't 
count, It hurts the life you once knew and loved not a perfect one but it was yours 
now is gone, Will you ever find your way back, belong some were? As the night 
comes you lay there and cry yourself to sleep trying to get all the answers your 
heart needs but like you the answers are lost. As you sleep you dream of the life 
you wanted a happy one but then as you start to smile something reminds you of 
what is now gone, And you are lost all over again. Maybe Someday I will be found 
and the world will be right again.


Details | Alliteration | |

sworn to secrecy

This doesn't belong to me
here you can have it back
i held it now for almost seven years
its getting heavy
you can take it anytime
i don't want to hold this anymore
why cant you take it
it doesn't fit
and it doesn't belong
it tears me apart
the struggle goes on
go ahead and cry
i can hold onto that to
just drop it in and go right through
i'm just a stop
a shoulder to need
and you can go on lifting away free
i'm slowly falling
i'm tipping from side to side
i'm not quite stable
but i'm only here for the ride
i'm not going to take charge
i'm not going to sit
and stare out my window of regret
my window is clear
clear as glass
and gets bigger with everyday we pass
its making me sad
tears run down my eyes
 i cant let it go
that's no surprise
i tell you what i tell you
and hear what i hear
but what about everything inside
everything i fear
well wait
i got that to
right beside the picture of me and you
i know this is crazy
and i know i am to
but what about my secrecy
i have to follow through


Details | Free verse | |

Altruistic Ponderings

I wish someone would explain
To me how we can spend
Billions of tax dollars 
On space exploration
When we can’t even figure
Out how to erase hunger
And poverty.

Who sets our priorities anyway?

Could someone please tell me
How it is we have the research dollars
Dedicated solely to the detriment
And destruction of whole cultures
But we’ve no way of curing
AIDS, Cancer, or the common cold?

Who’s in charge here?

Can anyone give me the reason
Why society insists on medical advances
In plastic surgery while so many
Still can’t afford basic healthcare
And die because of it?

Where is our leader?

How is it that we can find Jupiter,
Study its molecular structure,
But still can’t find an answer
For alternative fuel sources?

Is everyone sleeping?

While we continue to battle
For world-wide sovereignty,
Our own people collapse.

What happened to integrity?

Is there hope
For the next seven generations?

God, I hope so. 


Details | Haiku | |

Of a Lonesome Heart

          Where love- is obscure,
My heart- floats- amidst the fog,
                    Waiting- patiently.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Light

~The Light~

I remember the first time
 Voices in my head getting way too loud
Just a little girl unable to enjoy the world around me
I thought there was no way out
Almost took the easy way out
Then I saw something shining at the end of a long dark tunnel
It gave me hope
A reason to believe
As long as I kept my focus on

~The Light~

Thirteen and so very young
Afraid to tell a soul
About the demons in my head
I thought that I had to deal with them 
For myself by myself
Until I slipped and told a friend
Finding out she heard them sometimes too
Helped me feel a little better
It is just too bad she never had a chance to see
Brightness at the end of her tunnel
After she moved away
She just gave up 
Walking away from 

~The Light	~

I felt so bad 
Yet I managed to hide the pain
I always felt inside
Even in my darkest hours
With many attempts behind me 
I kept hoping to see

~The Light~

It is beautiful to see how a family can rescue 
Their fallen 
Just not giving up
Always feeling their unconditional love 
Knowing they were there
It all helped me walk out of that dark tunnel
Embracing

~The Light~

Now I firmly believe it is possible
For the most troubled soul
To find a way out
Without taking the easy way
With love and support
I know you can do it too
As you go through life’s journey
Wherever it may take you 
Always remember to look for and 
Embrace 

~The Light	~

By: Jean Shular


Details | Prose Poetry | |

That Which Is Real

Oh to be just a friend
To laugh, joke and play with you
Is not something
I know how to do
Oh how I wish it were
For it’d sure eliminate
All this pain I feel
Sometimes it happens
That starting off fun
Turns into something real
And what was meant to make you laugh
Turns into tears
That seem to take
Life’s  breath away
Leaving you to feel
Like there’s so much left to say
If only this, if only that
If I only could, if you only would
So many tricks of the mind
As we try to find
Justification for holding on
To what should be freed
So we can move on
Yet we hold out hope
In each accidental hello
That tides will turn
Though they have long washed away
It’s just the way of life
And how love burns
Until we learn
The difference in what we feel
And that which is real


Details | Couplet | |

This Time of Year

The air is fresh, mornings crisp and clear
God I do love this time of year
Vibrant colors abound on the trees
Gracefully falling with the breeze
The workday runs from sun to sun
Until the "Bringing in of the crops" is done
I am a lucky man to live this life
Respect of my community and loving wife
Sometimes in life the land yields plenty
The blessings throughout the day are many
As I watch the sunrise to the east
It gives my soul a spiritual feast
For all my friends everywhere
To my Lord a silent prayer
To the north her majesty appears
For all to see beautiful and clear
Forever snowcapped and standing tall
Lady Shasta watches over all
To the south another blessing to see
The Sutter Buttes clouded in mystery
It was the Lord that gave them their birth
The shortest mountain range on earth
The coastal mountains to the west
Offers the sun a place to rest
Followed shortly for all to see
The "Harvest Moon" clear as can be
Then comes a moment that is hard
As I head my "Cat" off to the yard
My final ride of this year
My face accepts a single tear
My heart becomes full of sorrow
I inject myself with poison tomorrow
Thats the price that a junkie must pay
Years after he has changed his way
The reason is very clear to see
I put myself "At risk" to hepatitis C
I can't stop the fear from flooding in
What will it be like to hold a rig again
Through all the loss and all the gain
I reckon that moment will bring me pain
But through the pain I'm able to see
God has his angels covering me


Details | I do not know? | |

THE LIES I SAID. . . .

The lies i said,
i can never take it back,
a lie,is a lie,
as a matter of fact,
still stabbing my heart,
with the feeling of guilt,
so strong in me,
its built,
one lie causes an erupter,
anotherlie,
 causes a disaster,
why lies are dominating my life?
all i want,
is to ba your wife,
its better for me to die,
than to you i lie,
its killing me inside,
please tell me,
tell me why. . . . . . .


Details | Free verse | |

NO PEACE

Crying into my pillow each night
Tears for a sorrow that burns like an acid
Eating it’s way through my senses..through my soul.
The pain sears through me like burning coals
No peace.

Hard to get my mind clear and rational
To put those things into perspective..
Or so I am told by well-meaning others who do not know,
The suffering of my existence; my inability to cope
No peace.

My head throbs in almost a familiar rhythm
A melody of self-pity, for regret, for salvation
And the tears, still flowing, now echoed with muffled sobs
For the agony is nearly more than I can withstand
No Peace.

I pray to a God I do not know, nor care to 
But no one else is there to listen to my pleas for comfort
To make right all those mistakes
As there are so many choices and I haven made the wrong ones
No Peace

So the God I do not acknowledge, lies silent in the stillness
And the burning within begins to subside
As grateful sleep falls upon me at last
Until another night comes, and the thoughts begin again
No Peace.


Details | Blank verse | |

the rotting edge of hope & abandon pt. I

when the world falls,
will you be my figurehead queen?
dark regent, of my secret heart & broken-glass dreams
drip waterfall lies from full pink lips
& bleed out your truth(s) to me?
come silently in the night
over plush & supple fields of carpet
into the halls of my half-waking 
& reach for me through the illusions 
& shadows of my own doubt,
so strong, it wraps me up, 
myself all contained & tainted, 
tainting only myself.
be the beautiful & shining falsehood
that brings me back into a world of
the likewise
leaving the torn pieces of the true falsity, the true reality
hanging shreded in the doorway
rotting on the edge of
what was & what could be
be my perfected failure,
my self-less
& self-serving love
my heart is yours;
it never beats the same way twice


Details | Rhyme | |

Lies of Content

Bury me in your lies of content
So much of my time spent
Wishing I could understand you
Wishing you'd understand what you put me through

shed the tear of false hope
Lose the ability to cope
With the silence, and the answers lost behind a locked door
Lost in a place unknown...I fall to the floor

You are my best friend...
But I question what I am to you, and if anything ever really mattered in the end
Did you know I tell you everything...
And I thought you did too, but now I realize...I am told nothing

Grant me the lie of your fantasy
Slave away to hide in the mystery
How many others do you hide from,
Or am I the only one?


Details | Rhyme | |

Necessary Evil

take this blade 
and cut your wrists
make escape holes for the devil

let him leave you
through the bleeding
make the world then somewhat level

it's a sacrifice 
most unholy
but for the good of all mankind

so take thy soul
unto the slaughter
and you'll find i'm right in time

sure i'm just 
your shoulder demon
and yes i've fallen from what's divine

but no lives
will get saved this evening
'less you're willing to cross the line


Details | I do not know? | |

Angry me

 I look in your eyes, the colors are changing your not the same person I met in the 
beginning of the season. Why all this jealousy I am only trying to love you and now you 
look at me like an enemy would a foe. Excuse me for thinking this but now your getting an 
attitude. I see the roll of the eyes and the whispers behind my back. It doesn't hurt me 
you know because I could really care less it just angers me that you are still 
pretending. Don't smile if your really mad. Because I am seriously getting annoyed with 
all this deceit. It's obvious that you don't want me around, constantly giving me the 
cold shoulder. Don't you know i'm better off I have people all over the world I don't 
need you. So if this is an attempt to drop me like a egg out of a window please warn me 
before I crack because then it will get brutal. I am mostly a nice quiet girl but that's 
only when i'm relaxed. You don't want to see the demons within me, take advantage for as 
long as you can but you know that as long as your picking i'm steaming. I am boiling 
slowly like water on the stove. Touch me after a while and boy I will get cold. Don't you 
think it's funny, don't you think it's sad. I'm shuffling my feet lonely but true fully I 
am not alone. I just wondering why i'm here... It used to be so much fun. You loved me 
then you loved me way back when. I guess everyone backs out when they find out the real 
me. Anger me go ahead, trouble me, but I've dealt with this before. It's nothing new, 
It's the same old same old and no matter what you do this time I won't fold. So i'm 
angry, just look beneath my brown eyes. Behind that softness lies a hard shell that's 
taken many blows.


Details | I do not know? | |

New World

In an entire new world
It seems there's no one to hold on
Just a lonely girl
Whose joys are shattered and gone

In an entire new world
Where it seems so cold
No worth of a million pearls
But of pride so bold

So now I realized
I'm on your own
Life's a rolling dice
No place a real home

When I trust I'm betrayed
When I love I'm heartbreak
I'm lost in every single way
Consoling the heart always dismayed

To and fro along with the swift currents
Struggling hard to grasp a firm hold
Hanging helplessly in a grip of the tyrant
As its weaknesses I tried to unfold

Someday, I'll claim my rightful place
Where no one can put a halt
In this world i shall ace
Who dares deny my part?


Details | ABC | |

Daddy the Alcoholic

Daddy the alcoholic,
 every single day,
full and countless glasses,
 guzzled down,
help him please, and bring my daddy back to me.


Details | Free verse | |

tainted

tainted
the way you see me
the way I believe 
me
to be

never sure
in this swirling
confusion
you call
love
and I call
pity

the way you
care
for me..
take 
care 
of me

giving 
you..
up for
me and
i will 
always
be 
tainted

and you
love..
to see me 
cry
real tears
not the
fake 
ones on our
wedding
day
tears
but the ones
tinted
blue
out of 
saddened 
despair

for you it’s
all the
proof
you 
need…

that I am
still
tainted


Details | Ballad | |

Martyr for the Unorthodox word

If I had over 10,000 dreams You'd be the only thing my mind could see Judgment couldn't be real Succumbing to the fear of this cold life Find a way to break through The self-destruction of wordly delusions Don't tell me I've lived so long in a lovely illusion Break me down until we find a Nirvanic state Then bring me a savior from transgressions An atoning sacrifice Send down to me a messenger for me to submit to Bring me the truth to break through The delusion Bring me the messenger to explain it all And let me leave behind Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word


Details | Couplet | |

The Black Sheep

Pushed aside, location of home obscured, limited by isolation:
drifting aimlessly - subscribing to a voluntary incarceration.

Outcast by an alternative perspective, a differing sense of direction,
through a desire to develop resolutions to numerable imperfections.

Others recede into bad habits - shirking from every challenge,
placing emphasis on ignoring responsibilities; yet expecting a life that’s lavish.

So it’s hardly surprising when their dreams fall by the wayside,
having taken the easy road too often, they’re fighting against a landslide
to recuperate what was lost, or rather thrown away by being lax and care-free,
they’ve imposed upon themselves a limit, as to what they can achieve.

Armed with the powerful weapon of fore-sight, I clawed myself out of the rut,
but it’s little consolation for having to watch my friends get stuck.
Trying to avoid a patronising tone, I conceal myself into anonymity -
uninspired by foolish games, approaching every overture with timidity.

Wanting to tell them to change, to realise their mistakes,
but sometimes things are hardest to see when they stare you in the face.
It’s their life to live, and do so how they wish -
I just pray they realise: there’s more to it then “getting pissed”.


Details | Free verse | |

game over

Heavier still, the flower wilts. 
Losing petals faster and faster.
The sweet smell has turned putrid.
Remember not the last dying breath.
Rather, remember the first one.
Gasping for air with new lungs.
When reading this, read deep.
Peer between the lines and letters.
See what is truly there, hidden inside.
The truth within the lies.
The light within the dark.
The sadness within the smiles.
It is all a pastime. It is all a game.
A game you shall lose.


Details | Lyric | |

Make me believe

Tell me you love me
I won't believe
It will make me happy
I won't believe

Hold me tight
I won't believe
Be soft and sweet
I won't believe

Promise me you'll care
I won't believe
I need to hear it
I won't believe

Say you'll be there for me
I won't believe
Be sweet as you can
I won't believe

If you knew how to be there
I would believe
If you kept a promise
I would believe

If you wanted to hold me
I would believe
If you showed your love to me 
I would believe


Details | I do not know? | |

Just Call Me Abuse

My name is abuse that is all I need to say
But just for your sake I will go on anyway.
I take pride in putting people in financial bind.
My favorite thing to do is to work on your mind.
I will destroy all you can be and make you believe that you deserve me.
After awhile you have no self-esteem left all you can comprehend
Are only the thoughts of suicide and death?
There is another part of me the physical side.
This something I have to be very cleaver on for this is very hard to hide.
I will take you from drinking soda out of mugs.
To entertainment by sniffing and using all hard-core drugs
I will take a beautiful woman and turn her into a punching bag.
When I am finished she will look like an old washed up hag.
Yes I can do all of this and yes I do mean to brag
I will turn faces all black and blue.
Oh look out I am going to get you too.
Oh no I’m not finished yet.
I can destroy your emotions too do you want to make a bet
I will take a confident man and turn him into a child playing in the sand.
The most pleasure I get is to destroy relationships, they no longer were a 
wedding band.
When I am finished with you nothing will ever be the same.
You will always be keeping your guard up always being in shame.
I will take all your family love
Then turn it into hate to shove.
I love to destroy remember my name is abuse.
What form of pleasure do you want me to use?


Details | Free verse | |

Yours

I understand
the need for redemption
when all they do is ask about me
and the phone company has never
even heard your voice.

The scar on your leg
hasn't yet faded from our accident
four years ago (you study those
scars every day, as if searching
for blame)

and you find it

buried beneath cobwebs of
false hope and deflected
stories of the life you had
and the life you have…
I can do no right
here, within the 
wish-I-was.

If I were stronger maybe
or you less so,
I’d bandage your wounds 
and rock you to sleep
but you are motion-sick
and healing just fine
without me.

How long before the
questions subside?
Will you answer in the
voice of pride, or reason?
Six years’ fallacy, or
merely unfortunate?

My legs are torn too,
but I don't wear shorts in the summertime
(I never tan anyway)
and I never said I was beautiful.


Details | Free verse | |

PLUNGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEEP, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello loneliness it's me, I called but no answer, makes me think your avoiding me
I saw your friend regret the other day and she said you were doing awful, She said you 
had gotten down and out because many people, have forgotten how good you can make them feel
They have forgotten, just how bitter-sweet your presence delegates them
Hey! Loneliness? what time is it in denial? I just thought I would tell you, I haven't
forgotten
I will always remember cold and hot days when a wall to a closet I was hiding, was a gift
from you
Oh! and don't think I forgot how you stayed with me and talked me through the slices on my arm
I couldn't have carried that out without you, You made me see that nobody will be around
like you,
I cut so deep that for a second I was wishing to see the color blood bones makes, sounds
sick?...
Just like me, I'm unhealthy in fits of rage but oh! I know that's just you morphing into
insanity
Do you remember also, when I called out names of those who said they cared?
Me neither never met them before but if you see them, tell em' I cry by blood and mark by
knife
I shoot like bullets, I hurt like broken, But don't you see? This is the price I pay for
loving you...
Loneliness!


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea,

I dont know where i'm going anymore hard to tell who you are when the indiffrency has settled in cold, empty, barren will i ever find a way? Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I try to stay sane But i fell under the september rain A repuiem for the reality That i never wish to see Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I need a way to escape, Only if I could just fly away


Details | Free verse | |

Autism

O, I love my dear boy
So dearly and so blindly
I will give him my blood
And life if God permits so

He's so weak and sick
So pallid and so tender
But I know he's an umbrella of snow
In the wide-brimmed form

A rhyme, a loft 
Almost in the spelling of my own world.



Details | Free verse | |

I Hate...

The collision of my feelings,
And the confrontation of words,
The lies,
All the lies…
Hatred, hate, all the hate,
I hate…

Drown in my pain,
Until you suffocate,
And free yourself from me,
To free me,
I hate…

A million words burn in me,
A thousand screams call for freedom,
For salvation,
But my soul is abandoned
In the void,
I hate…

Let me fade away,
Let me turn into black,
Let me dissolve into nothing,
To free me from myself,
I hate…

Fear,
Free my fearful heart,
And take me away,
Anyone…
Let these words stop:
“I hate.”

Break the chain of eternity,
Kill the immortality of my torment,
Let my blood flow in my veins,
And let the air circulate
In and out of my body,
I hate…

I hate…
You…and you,
I hate life,
I hate me,
I hate…
Everything,
Hate, hate, hate,

“Hate , hate , hate”
I woke up saying,
With the letters,
“H” “A” “T” “E”
Sliding between my lips,

I cried loudly,
For I felt it,
I felt the hate,
Conceal all my feelings;
I felt it make me grab a knife…
I stabbed myself!
I stabbed my heart…it made me stab myself…
Just to free itself from me,
And to free me,
Forever…  


 



Details | Bio | |

Stupid In Love

How could I be so stupid
To fall for you, 
When you said you was falling for me which was a lie.
So stupid to care, 
When you said you'll be there
But you weren't.
So stupid to show love
When you wasn't showing any at all.
How could I be so stupid,
So stupid to think you were falling
So stupid to think you care
So stupid to think you love
So what if im called stupid,
Because im still falling,
And I still care,
And I still love you.........
So I guess im stupid inlove with you


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence of a Child

Mister,
Why did you hit Mommy?

Mister,
You can't punish me,
You're not my daddy!

Mister, 
You say not to hit,
But your actions declare you a hypocrite.

Mister,
You push Mommy down,
But you say not to tell unless I say she fell.

Mister,
I try my darnedest to be good,
But you say I'm not action like I should.

Mister,
You hurt my feelings,
But you say you're just teaching me something with meaning.

Mister,
You come home with more than just Mommy,
But you say I saw nothing

Mister,
The night you came home drunk,
You know the night you shot Mommy with a shotgun . . . 
The night you left her beaten, bruised, scarred,
Bleeding on the ground. . . 
The night she went to sleep and never woke up

That night I was left alone,
Helpless,
Nowhere to go.

Mister,
Why did you do it
When you said you loved Mommy?

Mister, 
Why did you leave me stranded 
When you said you cared about me?

Mister,
Because of you
I am left here to die
Beside this dumpster where you told me to lye.

Mister,
I've been waiting here like you said,
For days,
Weeks,
Months,
But you r face I have not seen

You have let me down, Mister,
But that is nothing new.

You always told me to be a good child,
So I will.
With what's left of me, 
I will wait,
Calling your name . . . 

Mister . . . ?
Mister . . . ?




Details | Imagism | |

dignity

across rooms gust strong winds
emptiness without formed cracks

shook narrow confines
from the darkness within

indeff,rent,rent songs
nostalalqiques dreams
attentive inhumane screams
desire to belong

to accept dignity
speak sweet
accept defeat and
smile throu tormented peace.


Details | Rhyme | |

She Died Right There Before Me

To me, she could've said anything
I wanted so badly to hear her say,
"I love you and I'm gonna try."
But all she said is "I just can't stay."
She looked away, I stared her down.
I needed to see her eyes.
She looked at me and that's when I knew...
THIS IS THE DAY MY MOTHER DIES.
She died right there before me.
I watched her fade away.
Her eyes were glossing over
as I begged her "PLEASE, JUST STAY!"
She said goodbye and drove away.
I've learned to deal with loss.
But, now she says "I'm coming back!"
She doesn't know the cost.
To me she's dead, she can't come back.
She'll have to remember the day
that she died right there before me
when she said she couldn't stay.


Details | I do not know? | |

I cry, I weep, I

I cry, I weep, I crumble
But nothing ever shows.
This lump in my throat is growing,
as the salty tears turn cold.
I cry, I weep, I wonder
How could you love me so?
The heart in my chest is breaking,
but this you'll never know.
I cry, I weep, I quiver 
As the truth slowly becomes clear.
I long for love, but turn away, 
because the end is what I fear.
I cry, I weep, I deliver
Thr truth that haunts our dreams,
But deep inside, I want to cry,
but my pride will never let me.
I cry, I weep, I fumble
To say the words, I dream to say
But can't because my love is pure
and yours changes everyday.
I cry, I weep, I ponder
On what you think of me
But don't really care, 
because no one's here
and no one realy loves me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Still

Dwellings ruined by a brutal breeze.
Her scorned wrath damaged innocence dreams.
Optimism is sightless through lack of faith.
Nature only gives back want you take.
You think you can take from her and not pay an excessive cost? 
Cries rooted from misery and devastating lost. 
Yet we ignore the cries and reject pleads for support.
Are we so fretful on being a dollar short?
Is it too anguishing to lend a hand?
How can we not care while citizens expire in a wasteland?
How can something so nourishing become so fatal?
Or maybe we should be concerned with nature’s pain.
Could it be her gloomy tears that caused the vigorous rain?
But do we deserve the consequence?
Sustaining us was her mirth.
Yet we repay her by gradually destroying the earth.
The climate had become an infection that has achieved critical damage.
Who cares?
Have our souls converted into numbness?
We watch it occur on television, but what do we feel?
The storm has moved on while our nation remains still.   
 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Sea of Sorrow

All alone in the middle of pain-
drowning in a sea of sorrow -
a demented asylum of unmerciful distress-
that destroys all hopes of tomorrow-

these dark crashing waters-
that are fueled by the rain-
are destine to swallow me-
in this cold sea called pain-

my heart beats uncontrollably-
as I frantically gasp for air-
but my lungs are filled-
and my cries are silenced- 
by the bitter waves of despair-

where is the sun to dries these waters-
and give long awaited relief-
to a soul that's drowning in a deep sea of sorrow-
pulled under by the currents of grief-


Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye

        
       Though I've begged and I've pleaded,
       Not wanted, but needed
       A little help, a little hope, 
       Not this endless, mindless choke
       Untraditional love at it's best
       And I fear I know the rest
       The butterflies long gone, the kisses so few
       This goodbye seems almost so long overdo
       Though it hurts, though I'm scared
       I'm missing what's so rare
       I'm really missing you
       Or the one that I knew
       We have lost and I can't try
       To finish making it all right
       
		

		
		
		
		
		
		
		
		


Details | Rhyme | |

Phone Call

                            Phone call,
                        Lean on wall,
                         Try not to fall.

                        Gone away!?!
                   We talked today,
         So much more to say!

            Flashing memories!
       I'm down on my knees,
         Screaming PLEASE...

                           Don't go yet,
                  So many regrets!
                    I'll never forget...

            Your precious smile,
How we'd laugh for a while.
                           I'm in denial.

          Please help my brain,
There's way too much pain.
                  I'm going insane!

                          Now it starts,
     Blackness fills my heart;
            My worlds torn apart.

                    I realize the fact,
      You're not coming back.
                I feel under attack!

             Flooding tears I cry,
         Begging to know why.
        In the blink of an eye...

                              Goodbye.


Details | Rhyme | |

ADDICTED

Oh how i wish it weren't true, the fact that I am so addicted to you.
Loving you only makes me blue, but I still feel the need to protect you.
I'm addicted to you! When your not near i'm full of fear,
scared that someone will make you shed a tear and I won't be there.
I tried and tried to stay away, but in result I just cried, 
I yerned for you to be by my side. Why?, because i'm addicted to you!
It's hard for me to mind my buisness when it comes to you
you are all i've grown to know, your heart is my home.
Why?, because i'm addicted! I need my space but it has to be at my own pace
and in order to do that I have to go on without seeing your face.
I'm addicted and going through withdrawl and a quick fix would be your phone 
call.
Why?, because i'm addicted! Out of sight and out of mind,peace is what I hope to 
find.
To fully recover I need to stay away but guess what? I'm addicted
so I can't believe a word I say. All I can do is hope for that day
that i'll awake and not think of you.I can't stay away no matter how hard I try,
I just can't seem to say goodbye and although you told me a lie for you I would 
willingly die,WHY?, because i'm ADDICTED.


Details | Imagism | |

liquid senses

Another unwanted
passes through memories
down mundane streets 
suburbs undaunted

available liquid pass
tempted nostril senses
youth invaded stolen by
unpure pretenses

soft like shreds of life
tears of laughter
preserve treads
to a childhood lost to
hereafter 


Details | Free verse | |

Me, Myself, and My Soul

As happy melodies hum,
Underneath, the sounds of sadness come,
Provoking all the sorrow and fear,
That all hearts are forced to hear,

Looking at the glowing mirror,
Seeing the reflection of “Myself”
Shadow less, I stand,
Contemplating the solid glass, imagining “Me”

Hearing the terrified breaths of “Myself”
While inside, I am touching the joyful “Me”
That an eye no longer can see,
No sympathizing, no sympathy,

Through “Myself” I could feel my lonely soul,
Desolated from the incomprehensible world,
Surrounded by rhythms created by void,
That I hear “Myself” continuously sing,

My soul sees through “Me,”
Unleashing the pain, making freedom surround,
But “Myself” comes and interrupts,
My freedom and my soul begin to corrupt,

“Me,” someone that no longer lives,
Someone that tries to forgive, “Myself”
The person that took place,
The person living a life drenched with dimness,

“Me,” is gone,
“Me,” has disappeared into non existence,
My soul is surrounded by “Myself”
Cherishing “Me” by the colorful memories...


  


Details | Lyric | |

Invisible Pain

Sometimes I cry
in the silence of night
from the pain deep inside 
which somehow I hide

Every day I pretend 
that I am just fine
I laugh and I smile
I bottle the fire

I want to explode
with so much emotion
instead I put on an act
while it implodes inside

There's too much to say
no way to explain
the feelings I have
they won't go away

Nobody knows
what's eating at me
I feel if I tell
no one will understand

This can't go on much longer
I have to release
the pain turns to anger
I need to scream

My brain just won't stop
I have the urge to run away
I want to forget my past
desperation fills my heart

All my thoughts are contradicting
letting go means forgetting
forgetting means being vulnerable 
being vulnerable means more pain

I don't want anyone to know
I'm so torn inside
I could so easily be broken
so I must not let anyone in

I always cry
in the silence of night
from the pain deep inside
which I no longer can hide


Details | I do not know? | |

help wanted apply within

why are things not the way they seem
cut wrists not seen as a silent scream
and crying is seen as crocodile tears
not the emerging of your inner most fears

the pain in your head caused by tension
and pills being popped for attention
how many doors need to slam?
before you realise they don't give a damn!!

how many times we try to please
so we can feel at total ease
and many times we stop to look
at broken hearts and the time it took

what started as a tiny tiff
nasty words come fast and swift
and how many lives will it take
to part true love with the fake

why do the good always die young
when only half their time is done
sitting at night all alone
no-one To talk to on the phone

other people sit alone with their strife
praying for someone to sort out their life
sitting alone they slash their wrist
add another suicide to the list.


Details | Free verse | |

Finish Last

A hatred toward myself
a longing for the feeling of the cold hearted
no emotion 
no cares
no heartbreak
the unbelievable becomes real
a rejection burning so deep!
another night of these deadly thoughts
realizing the sad truth,
nothing I do can ever be enough
the cliché stands true…
Nice Guys finish last!


Details | Ode | |

Welcome To My Life

I'm dying in this slow decay of the senses.
Senseless agony consumes my mind.
Eating my soul until I'm gray.
Gray like the leaves at your funeral.
The day the color faded and beauty went away.
The sky is falling, 
But, only on me.
As the Heavens are calling,
They tell me to leave.
But don't put your faith, your faith in me.
Don't trust fate,
For nothing is meant to be.
The slow silent squeezing of my petrified soul.
I left my heart with the sugar,
In the bottom of the bowl.
The wounds of the mind,
Based solely on the knife.
Look for my flaws and you'll always find....
Welcome to my life.


Details | Lyric | |

Once broken, but not destroyed!

As I look back over my life, my heart was broken but I wasn’t destroyed,
Many people tried to take advantage of me like I was some kind of a toy.
When I was a child, I had this fixation that I knew what love is all about, 
I cried a lot because that was the only way for me to get things out.
As a teenager, I lost the dearest person to me, who was my mother,
I was angry with God because the pain that I felt was like no other.
My parents taught me how to be the best Christian all I can be,
When I finally got to know God for myself, I was definitely set free.
As I became older I carried around so much hurt and so much pain,
I know I wasn’t easy to deal with, but the family must have felt drained.
At times I had to express my anger by fighting and hurting myself,
The more I keep writing, one day I will see my book on the bookstore shelf
The most devastating thing I remember was the time I was raped,
At the time it was happening I didn’t have the strength to escape.
It also hurt when no one had faith enough to believe in me,
I tried to deal with the rape by becoming rebellious as I can be.
I thought by going to talk to a psychiatrist would have helped replace my anger,
Instead of making things better, he just helped himself on me and putting me in 
danger.
I didn’t want to live after all these things that happened in my life,
If I had killed myself, today I wouldn’t have become a wife.
A lot of people thought that I wouldn’t make something of myself,
They would look down on me like I was some kind of weird elf.
Through all of this, God showed me what TRUE love was all about.
I have to give him all the praise and honor with a loud shout.
I was a type of person that was definitely misunderstood,
I just wanted somebody to take the time out with me if they could.
Well, the devil thought that I was destroyed but I was yet broken,
I can truly say that I’m no longer his rebellious T-O-K-E-N


Details | Rhyme | |

Caught Me Off Guard

Somewhere you are sitting
Unaware of how I feel
Then again maybe you know
How I wish that you'd reveal
Every now and then
I like to close my eyes
Pretend that you're with me
The dreams I fantasize
Honestly I wish you knew
The things inside my heart
Everytime I think of you
I wish we weren't apart
Never did I think
That I would fall for you so hard
Can't control the way I feel
It all caught me off guard!


Details | Bio | |

Help Her

I started to write you this song
The day that everything went wrong
You think I have it all together
And that I’m as light as a feather
You can’t see the pain from my past
All I ever do is see you fast
You want your life to be perfect
It’s not fair you excel in every subject
It was fine when you were by yourself
My life story is somewhere on a shelf
Now you’re taking someone else down with you
We all used to be stuck together like glue
I can see your pain
I will always feel I’m the one to blame


Details | Bio | |

Brother

When you walked out that door
You forgot to say goodbye
Or you possibly remembered
But felt no need to try
You left us here alone
To fend for ourselves
It is hard to stay strong
When you are 10 and 12
You said you had to leave
You needed a way out
Well Brother, you chose
A selfish route
Locked deep inside
The four walls of my mind
Is the rememberance of you
When you were once kind
Your heart burned with love
For your sisters so young
You promised to protect us
Your most treasured, we were among
Now you have been gone
For several torturing years
There will never exist a well
Big enough to consume our tears
Our heads filled with bruises
Our minds filled with anguish
To escape such harsh discipline
Our one prayer and wish
We have now grown accustomed
To aggression and pain
Our conversational deprivation
Has kept us chained
With these locks so tight
But the keys in our very hands
We chose not to leave eachother
On this you made a stand
Well now, Brother
She is leaving me as well
It is my time to greet lonliness
With more stories to tell
To be hurt by loved ones
Is nothing peculiar
But to fight this battle alone
Is to take hands with pressure
Smile at depression
And embrace solitide...


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

You took me

When you took me, you were wrong. I was under age and God knows I was'nt strong. I 
was young and you forced me to pretend that my life with my family was nearly at an 
end. You beat me and tortured me day after dayand when you would leave , I would 
feel safe. I'd get on my knees and pray "please lord just spare me one more day".  
I don't eat, I dont sleep, you'd beat me till I was weak. I don't want to die, 
everyday  I'd cry "someone please release me from this pain I feel inside.  I've 
endured so much pain that my body is numb, I silently wait for someone to come.  I 
wish I had wings to fly up above, to sing that I'm home to finally feel loved.  the 
scars from your knife will haunt me the rest of my life.  You left me beaten and 
bloody,I waited for an angel to find me and my wish came true from out of the blue, 
God sent me an angel to show me the truth. I was empty and scared, hoping someone's 
out there who might even care.   was tired and cold.  Will this little lost girl 
soon leave this world?   Someone finally came to carry me home, by the grace of 
god, so that I can move on.   don't know if  I'll get over this, and I'll never 
understand why, how another human being could take an innocent child. You took my 
strength and destroyed my pride, just to satisfy that sickness that manifests in 
your mind.  I can't go back and change what you've done, but I have finally forgave 
you so I can move on. Even though it may take some time  and a lot of searching 
inside,I hope you find peace while your doing your time.  I'll always wonder for 
the rest of my life, why you took me that day for that life  altering ride.


Details | Ballad | |

Bruise Me

You always try
to break me down
you always try to knock me out
damage me with just your words
not physical but it still hurts
and all you do is make it worse.

You bruise me
Cut me with your tounge
Brutalize me, cut and binding
as my blood pours from the scars.
You bruise me
and it's really nothing more.

Berate me
go on hate me
it's something you love to do
yell at me, because now i see
there's nothing left for me with
you.
Your eyes so cold, words are old
nothing else that you can say
times running out, it's over now
and your the one who bruised
it away.

You bruised me
Cut me with your silver tounge
Brutalize me, cut and binding
As my blood pours from the scars
You bruised me
And really nothing more.


Details | I do not know? | |

Round and Round I go

Round and round I go
through a vicious circle of life,
round and round it goes,
cutting me like a knife.

Never growing or moving on,
always staying the same,
frantically searching
for someplace to hide the blame.

Trapped down deeply inside me
lives a lifetime of pain,
wrapped up tightly
by a towering wall of shame.

You won't ever see me
when I start to bleed,
because a long time ago
I was forced to hide that need.

It was way back then
someone first planted the seed,
and as years passed
its vines consume me like a weed.

You may hear me cry
sometimes perhaps even out loud,
but still the truths are shrouded
by deep and darkened clouds.

At times I may try to reach out
for a hand among the crowd,
but my feelings overwhelm me
and I feel that I'm not allowed.

Someday I may have an awakening
when even my soul will rebel,
and I can begin to fight
and break through this hardened shell.

For now I'm only able to survive
and with each moment I can tell,
if I get to live or die
and awake from this living hell.

Round and round I go
through the vicious circle of life
round and round it goes,
still cutting me like a knife.


Details | Rhyme | |

Forbidden

Untouchable, yet close enough to touch.
It's wrong, I know but I want you so much.
You are the compliment to who I am supposed to be.
You are the one who can set my tortured soul free.
To help me to thrive and to inspire me.
It brings tears to my eyes to think of the impossibility.
There are too many obstacles in our way, 
Too many people to hurt, too big a price to pay.
So with a friendship I must be satisfied,
And bury these feelings deep down inside.
It's just that from you it will be too hard to hide,
When I spend so much of the day at your side.
I think that I am going out of my mind.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Hearted

If this wasn't ment to be then why did God let it go this far?
If I cant have tou to myself, 
then why should anyone else?
Im tired of suffering while youre out partying with your friends.
I hate that I cant hid from all this,
but some how you find a way you can.
I hate when I see you for the first time in months.
I hate that I build myself up,
only to let you tare me down.
I dont wanna love you anymore.
I dont want to look at him and see you.
I dont wanna think of the "What If's".
I dont wanna see your face everywhere I go.
I dont wanna cry everytime I hear our song on the raido.
I dont wanna think about our past,
thinking of ways I could of made it last.
If you didn't love me,
then why did you lead me on?
If you didn't care then why were you holding on so strong?
If I was the one, then why are you with HER??


Details | Verse | |

Forever Meant Never

I dreamed that I was here happy,
Happy like we were before,
For a moment I saw you here happy,
You were walking back through our front door,
Now you seem so far away
I told you to leave then begged you to stay.
I cant go on living with out you,
Not even for one more day,
How can I go on living?
When the best part of me dies.
I believed you when you said you loved me,
Then you left with out saying goodbye.
To truly love is to love forever,
You were my heart, my soul, my life,
But to you forever meant never,
Now the loneliness comes by night.
Behind these blue eyes,
I silently cry,
This pain, this hurt
Just wont subside,
When I look at myself in the mirror
My reflection is so hard to see,
You point out every imperfection,
Why couldn't she just let us be.
When you left, you left me empty, and cold,
You couldn't know how bad it felt, 
Your happy now, or so im told
I loved you more than life it self.
When im dead in a grave will you say you loved me?
If I look up will I see the flowers you left  above me,
You promised you'd love me forever,
But to you forever just meant never.


Details | Couplet | |

Disappointment

Disappointment was never as lovely as she
Hope caught in my heart fighting delicately
She's always the dream that never fades upon waking
The cause and the comfort for all of my shaking

I like to glance over then turn carelessly
Just to see if it makes her come over to me
Her smile is infectious and wipes away fear
If it fades then I show her that I'm always near

Sometimes we are split by self-built barricades
So I break through our silence of awkward blockades
And no matter how often old times we recall
We'll forever laugh and the false walls will fall

They all think I'm crazy my truth to repress
Do anything for her and never confess
Yet silently love I continue to show her
It's enough just to feel that I'm getting to know her

But despite my devotion and adoration
There still remains space for one complication
The spark in my eyes grows colder and dim
When I am reminded she's happy with him

Surely love wants the best for the person it's for?
Not selfishly trying their joy to ignore
But however hard jealousy my heart will dent
If my darling is happy, then I am content.


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

You can drive your fancy cars
Living it up like movie stars
While small children have nothing to eat
No place to live no light no heat
Hopeless drunks living like dogs
Passing out sleeping like logs
While you sip your fancy wine
Pretending everything is fine
But I know that you feel the guilt
And as you watch your garden wilt
Remember the little starving child
Lost in a world neither meek nor mild
Or the drunk stinking and ill
For the bottle he will kill
You wonder if the child ate
If his parents show love or hate
Is the drunk a friend or foe?
He's not himself he's sunk so low
You're not better than us all
You're still human you'll still fall
Don't forget us while you're great
We don't need anymore hate


Details | Rhyme | |

A Suicidal Thought

What lies behind a conscious mind,
That contemplates on suicide.
What passing fear just won’t subside,
To make them want to stop this ride?

What makes a person feel such pain?
To take a life seems so insane,
For what sole purpose be so vain?
What problem couldn’t time soon wane?

Who knows what lie’s in store for us,
If there’s a hell, then what’s the rush?
And if there’s nothing but death’s touch,
Then how could all your problems hush?

Life often has it’s ups and downs,
Wait long enough and ups come round.
You’ll find that life is quite profound,
It’s lessons leave much to expound.

So, whatever pain and sorrow brings,
It’s not worth cutting life’s short string.
Just focus on the little things -
And watch, you’ll find a song to sing. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Nervous Breakdown

Heres comes the nervous breakdown,
quick depression into slow anxiety.
Heres comes the nervous breakdown,
swallowing pity of yourself.
Heres comes the nervous breakdown,
cold heat shaking your bones.
Heres comes the nervous breakdown,
aching brain, twitching veins.
It's the nervous breakdown
with explosive results.
Why the nervous breakdown?
Because too much knowledge provokes me.
Bring the nervous breakdown,
sadistic, painful enticing.
Stop the nervous breakdown,
I cant find my purity.
Hopeless enemies
of ones self slipping
into my mind of cleanliness,
polluting my being, turning
it into an everlasting jungle of mazes
containing horrible truth of
my family, my friends, my country.
I want it back.

I want it back.
I want it back.
My original self,
my starting line,
my old life.
Why has the essence of family tainted
what is theirs to enhance?
My head hurts,
it bubbles with the 
honest to god reality
that is my creation.
Still the nervous breakdown,
here only minutes but already
it is acquainted with me.
Now I shall begin life anew
into an anxious depressed, shiny and new.
Old self being.
But if I'm finally used to my new attachment
then
why
does
my
head still hurt?


Details | Romanticism | |

Will I ever get to see you again

There was a time when I didn't have much to care about
even with people all around me
and now it seems like I have to much to care about
but where is everyone today
my life was suddenly turned upside down
spinning out of control
then one day from out of the blue I thought of the time
I spent with you
even though our time together was short lived
it had so much to give
and the memories came pouring in my mind and out of my eyes
all of a sudden I realized
you were more to me than just another guy or friend
I can't help but wonder
will I ever get to see you again?

Most of our time was spent talking on the phone
but there were also the moments
we spent alone
I remember holding each other close whenever we were near
never wanting to let go
cause we knew we couldn't hold each other come tomorrow
we didn't get to see each other very much
and damn it now I wish to God we had stayed in touch
something here has got to give
I'm running out of things to believe in
that's why I pray everyday for an answer to my question
will I ever get to see you again?

I think of the time where we watched the game with your
friends and family
and then with no kind of planning
we were alone together
and we spent our first and only night
holding one another tight untill the morning
I remember how when we looked deep into each others eyes
for me life stopped for a moment at that time
and it was you that had my hyponotized
oh so many butterfiles
it has taken this long for me to realize
that never has anyone taken me there again
my biggest mistake I've ever made was not telling you how I truely felt
I couldn't put it in the right words
because I really wasn't sure of my emotions
thought it was just what was happening in the moment
and give time I would be alright
never did I believe now I would be in such torment
the pain of not knowing
will I ever get to see you again?

Need to find you to let you know
that you are the only one I could never let go and I really do love you so
oh somebody please help me find the answers
because I do need to know
will I ever get to see you, hold you, tell you I am in love with you again?
If so when?


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Confused and lost
sitting in a place full of ghosts
longing for  love I will never find
hoping one day someone will understand me
holding my heart close behind this wall
wanting someone to take it and keep it safe
knowing it will never happen
no one can see past the wall that's in place
hiding who I am from prying eyes
never letting anyone see my longing
never able to find the door to let them in
being ever eluded by the truth
a truth only felt from love
no one really sees me
no one really cares to look


Details | Bio | |

Alcoholic

Your eyes are glazed
As if you're already dead.
I'm afraid that the bottle
Has finally gotten to your head.
You sit in your own filth,
And you don't even care.
Have you given up?
You don't even brush your hair.
I wish things could go back
To how they used to be.
Seeing you like this
Really eats away at me.
You swear that you're fine,
But your health is breaking down.
You're stuick in that bottle,
You're beginning to drown.
Let me help you back up,
Give me your hand...
Tell me what's wrong,
I'll try to understand.


Details | Free verse | |

Confused Heart

I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you won't receive it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
A part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"

You can't sleep at night because you're worried 
About me...
But let me say that I'm very important
You wont leave me alone, you're in my way
And I cannot have that
Its fine that we're friends but we...
Cannot go any further than that

But you'll have a nice life
You'll find someone to be in your life
Because I am nothing but trouble...

However you insist that love is stonger
But tell me why people get hurt everyday
It is because of this so-called-thing love
That's hurting everyone, me, and you

Just because I choose not to love you
In that way...
Doesn't mean that I don't...
Think of you every now and then

You'll have a nice life
You'll find someone to be in your life
Becase I am nothing but trouble...

I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you won't receive it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
A part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"
I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you wont receieve it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
So just drop it please
However you insist that love is stronger
It maybe in a fantasy world
However we live in reality
And a part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"


Details | Rhyme | |

To Whom It May Concern

To whom it may concern
I'm already prepared to learn,
To learn the life, life long teaching
There are some goals I need to be reaching
People tells me that, I'm all so young
Really, there's no need to be concern,
So curious adult life could be
But they keep saying relax and be me
From infant to toddler to teenage lifehood
All so much, I'm misunderstood,
Adulthood is so intriguing to me
But they keep saying relax just be free
It's much easier said than done
All I've been trying to do is have fun,
My life as a child was very, very complicated
I use to get so mad and frustrated
Growing up so fast at a young age
I only had time to just turn a page,
Still there are life lesson to be learn
As I continue to write, To Whom It May Concern.


Details | Free verse | |

Crawl into Me

Scattering into broken pieces
Of debris,
My life has become a black painting
Of nothingness,

Within myself I see,
 You concealing me,
I feel droplets of misery
Crawling into me, to simply become…
Me… 

I wonder if my tears
Could water the eternal desiccation,
That fills my life with hopelessness…
When will “I” reappear?

Nothing but this undying pain
Remains,
The memories I thought would 
Never die…
Have killed the happiness…
And have gone away,

Like eternity,
My sorrowfulness is my days,
Is my dreams, is my prevailing thoughts, is
 Everything that creates my life…
It’s me…

Rage flows in my veins,
Like boiling blood;
I’ve become an explosion
Of resentment…
Like a volcano of red, burning hatred,

All these particles of my sorrow,
Crawl into me,
Triggering a reflection
Of the person I don’t want to be…
The Me in me…

Crawl into me…
The person I was,
The person that you were…
The person I want you and me to be…

“Farah,”
The calling of my name revived me
From talking to my shadow,
“Farah, go to sleep...You have school tomorrow!” 
My mom yelled…

Before switching off the lights,
I glanced at my shadow again
With tears in my eyes,
And quietly muttered,

“Crawl into me...”
 


 


 






Details | Ode | |

Cry of the Soul

Once, when my soul cried out in mournful pain;
I believed the Spirit, with me, wept.
When I felt that life was all in vain,
He lifted me from the drowning depth.

Now when flowing tears upon me fall,
and all seems hopeless in this life;
Does He hear my constant wailing call,
when I feel grief’s merciless cutting knife?

Where is my God when I need Him so,
when my soul is wounded and torn apart?
The One Who promised to never forsake nor leave,
does He see me here with bleeding heart?

Like the lonesome howling coyote, my soul does cry
in vain, it seems for peaceful relief.
And as the unfolding years go by,
will I forever be haunted with relentless grief?

Will there be answers which I will someday find?
Will my feet ever be back on the ground?
Unanswered questions riddle my weary mind,
as I feel and see the misery all around.

I was one of faith and considered strong,
but now am weak and a pitiful creature.
What I have become, I have pondered long;
and realize my need of the One True Teacher.

Once again, my howling, mournful wail cries out;
“Oh, God, my Master, hear my plea.
We need Your help, without one single doubt.
We beg for strength to set all pain free...”


Details | I do not know? | |

For Reals

HEAL MY SWOLEN HEART YOU HOLDER OF ITS PAINFULL BEAT,
REPEATING STRONG SENSATIONS WHICH DEVOUR ME,
NO LONGER STRONG ENOUGH ALONE,
MY SOLITUDE SHOWS MOMENTS THAT I'VE TRIED TO HIDE,
SUDDENLY THE ANGUISH FROM INSIDE BECOMES ALIVE,
AROUND HERE THERE IS EMPTYNESS WHERE ONCE THERE LIED A HUG,
IT SEEMS THAT NOW HUGS AINT ENOUGH TO REASURE ME YOU STILL CARE,
LIFES NOT UNFAIR IF UNDERSTOOD RIGHT,
YET CAN HARDLY GRASP IT,
CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THOSE SMILES DAMN IT,
ALL IS WELL BELOW SURFACE,
AND STILL I FEEL SO WORTHLESS,
SEARCH FOR PURPOSE IN THIS MESS,
DOING THE BEST TO GET THROUGH BEING WITHOUT ANSWERS TO MY 
QUESTIONS,
WHICH IS WHEN WILL TIME HEAL ME,
NOT TO FORGET THE HURT YOUR FEELING,
TRYING TO SEAL WHATS CALLED THE PAST,
OH HOLDER OF THIS PAINFUL BEAT MY HEART IS FEELING,
DRILLING SORROWS THROUGH MY SOUL,
FILLING WITH SOMETHING NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW BUT US,
TO HAVE A YEARNING SO PROFOUND TUGGING AT US,
MUST HAVE BEEN WRECKLESSLY IN LOVE RIGHT,
BUT I'LL FEEL THIS PAIN FOR LIFE TIMES,
REFUSING TO GO AWAY,
I WOULDN'T HAVE IT OTHER WAYS,
PREFER TO STAY AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE,
THROUGH EVERY PASS I GO,
THINKING OF US MAKES MY HEART SWOLEN,
LIKE A LOVE THATS PASSED ME BY,
AND EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP TEARDROPS SLIPP OUT OF EYES THAT 
WANT SO MUCH TO CATCH THE SIGHT OF YOU,
THE UNDERSTANDING SIDE OF YOU,
CREATING SOMETHING GREATER THAN I'VE DEALT WITH,
NONE WILL EVER MEVER MEASURE UP TO YOU,
PLACED THE SCALE HIGH WITH ONE KISS,
IT SEEMS I'VE MISSED YOU FOR A DECADE AND THREE WEEKS,
NOW IT'S SO HARD FOR ME TO EVEN SPEAK,


Details | Lyric | |

Fade into Shine

Someday, Some way
I will shine again
The light will hit my eyes
I'll no longer need to hide
The strength I have within
Will surely show again
This weakness that I feel
Will fade and disappear


Details | Free verse | |

Inattention

time and distance unwind
unmindful of a ticking clock
as
commitment tumbles through constant years
with ne’er a thought
that 
there exists another dimension
where all possibilities exist


Details | I do not know? | |

Remembering

Seeing your face every time
I close my eyes.
Every dream I dream is 
of you.
Wanting you near me, knowing 
I can't have you.
Knowing your life is with
someone else now, as so is mine.
Knowing that we belong 
together, knowing in my mind,
my heart, and my soul.
Thoughts of you racing through
my mind, my heart beats faster
and faster.
Can't catch my breath.
Remembering, remembering the 
last words you said to me.
Remembering the words,"I'll
get you back, you will be mine."
Waiting, hoping, praying its
not too late.
Why do we remember, remember 
the past?
It doesn't help the future,
it confuses the future.
If that is so, why am I 
so happy remembering the past
and yet so sad, living the future?


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Love

Am I able to express my feelings
Or shall I seal my lips
In horror with the shredding memories and failures of this heart
Never letting it speak out 
Bottled up with emotions that are stored in the depth of my soul

Is it possible to stop this watch from ticking 
Making my time pause in an infinite world and future
Is this being able to withstand the confusion
As rapid minutes turn into hours and days
Leaving this agony to speak to burst away

Am I able to show how my hurtful soul can be reborn again
Able to love and share the beauty and joy and this magical feeling
Yet I'm reserved to this
scared of the outcome and negativity

Love has  been shown in such  mystical ways
believed to make you float during your lasting days
Or can it tear you apart and bury you in sadness

For I have faith in this love
Even though it has been teared away from me
Allowed to break with the shattering pieces in sadness

Its been hard to see you everyday
Gazing at your eyes
Wishing you knew about mine
I can't react
So I must wait as an echo
Until you open your heart freeing your thoughts
And then I can allow myself to open mine

I could forever wait for this response
Unable to admit my thoughts
So I stay in silence 
For I can't make a sound 
Sealed forever more in the darkness of my heart


Details | I do not know? | |

Obituary

With a turn of the knife her blood runs deep,
Mine love it is time for her sleep.
Divine Master paint her thoughts with a lie,
As she hurts and wants to die.
Lips of red with her blood, Gothic Princess thy queen,
Her death my brother was unforeseen.
No less tragic feel thine her sorrow,
Save her body for the obituary tomorrow.


Details | I do not know? | |

Why

Why do I fall
For everything you say
When I know very well
You won't call the next day

Whay do I go with you
When I know you'll go back to her
I know there's no commitment
But when you ask, I say sure

I have no idea
Why I even pick up the phone
I guess I'm just afraid
Of having to be alone

When will I see the truth
Maybe I already do
But it's hard to remember the lies
When I'm so blind to what you do


Details | Free verse | |

Not Real

I've laughed with these people,
Took long journeys with them,
Thought I could truthfully say,
"You are all my dearest companions"

Looking out at the gray,
Knowing you've all forgotten,
Forgotten all our rambles,
Forgotten me too.

For one sin did I make,
And you condemn me for life,
Shamed as I was,
You deserted me here.

Pounding the ground,
My body would shake,
Retchings in my throat,
As I tried to get free.

For this one sin have I done,
And only one does it take,
For you all to condemn me?
And leave me do die?

What kind of love did you have for me?
In the waking hours I would think,
Think of you all, if you were in trouble,
Pray for you all, if you were in need.

Now as I have fallen,
You won't dirty your knee?
To help me up?
Strengthen my courage to try again?

Desperite tears would comb the ground,
My body shaking from the pain within,
I could not breathe from the dry sobs,
Racking my body, tearing my bones.

All this for one sin,
One sin that would not help me cleanse,
Shamed you left me here,
And here I have lain, ready to die.

For why should I live,
If you are what I once called
Dear friends, and thought to be,
Dear friends....


Details | I do not know? | |

I cry

Sometimes when I'm alone, I cry because I'm on my own.  The tears I cry are bitter 
and warm, they flow with life but take no form. I cry because my heart is torn and 
I find it difficult to carry on.  If I had a shoulder to cry on or someone who 
would lend an ear, I cry and tell them of my lost and lonely years.   The world 
moves fast and would rather pass by, then to stop and see what makes me cry. Though 
sometimes I cry and no one cares about why.  When I move on,they wont care when I'm 
gone, why I cried.


Details | I do not know? | |

O Child of Sweet Sweet Sorrow

O child of sweet sweet sorrow, why is it that your lonely inspirations are often wiped away and your dreams are put to death with each tear? O child of sweet sweet sorrow, your anguish shows, it is not with out dreams for the world you seem to know. Even so, you mourn for that which you do not have. You wipe away your crimson tears, dress and redress your wounds. Asahmed of who you are, a coward for who you're not, lie low and gain your strength at night, run away at dawn. Your silver thoughts are all you have, O child of gentle night, hide your lonely face and dream before the dawn is soon in sight. You answer for their each mistake, a victim of your own. Come alive here in beautiful night, but at dawn soon take flight. You have your hopes, you have your dreams, but you lock them so tightly away. When that they seep out, you just let them go, left to fall away with your tears. Why are you so afraid to fight to keep your dreams? Why o child of sweet sweet sorrow, are your inspirations wiped away with that fake plastic smile, and your aspirations seem to fall away in the form of your tears?


Details | I do not know? | |

The Darkness

The beauty of nothing
Is what I see
If people opened their eyes
They would not see me.
There maybe less space
When I am around
But I am not seen
I cannot be found.
I am not worth 
My weight in gold
I am not worthy
For someone to hold.
I do not wish
For another day
I do not dream
I no longer pray.
I do not understand
Why I'm still here
I do not understand
Pain and tears.
Explain to me why
The good are to die
The bad left behind
To continue their lies.
Where is this light
I hear about
I'm lost in the darkness
With no way out.
I think of death
And what it might be
To end this nothingness
Which is me.
The answers continue
To be hidden from me
For today, tomorrow
Perhaps, eternity.
You cannot give love
Then laugh at me
For I am lost to the darkness
And no one sees.


Details | I do not know? | |

I am confused

you ripped my heart out and threw it on the floor
I don't know how to feel anymore
You twisted me into your lies and deception
I know I'm stronger then this,But i cant seem to get away
your touch is so unforgettable but regrettable 
your kisses are breath taking but destructive 
I love the things you say to me, even though its all a lie
some things feel so real, i don't know if i should believe you or leave you
And for some reason I'm stuck
you hurt me so much, but i keep coming back to you
And i don't know why i cant ever seem to get you off my mind
Your like a drug that i cant get off of
Everyone tells me to get away from you, but i can't 
You got me bound to your heart and your heart only,
I don't get why it cant be that way with you
You tell me you love me, 
but i wonder do you tell the others the same
My hearts tied in a knot,
restricting me from feeling anything but numb
I don't know what i want, the confusions growing deeper
Digging its nails into my skin
I sit and watch my tears fall to the floor,
As i wonder if you hurt the same
I need you, but i want to get rid or you
I want you, but i don"t
I love you, but i hate you
I am confused


Details | Free verse | |

Faced With My Fears

Sitting here faced with my fears
not know how to escape it.

Never knowing who I really am
faced with the fact of life.

It stairs me in my eyes.

This thing people calls fear
tears me down inside.

With out a soul knowing it
faced with the desicions of life.

Sitting here faced with my fears.

I begin to weep

I begin to cry out.

I begin to feel pain like no other
has ever felt before.

As I sit here faced with my fears.

I reach my hand out to you 
for help and only to come and realize.

The only thing in front
of me is my own reflection.

I now have the fear of
helping myself to realize its time to let go.


Details | Rhyme | |

Lost Little Girl

There's a lost little girl
Roaming this world
Searching for truth and for love
Aimlessly seeking
Never reaping
All she is deserving of

There's a lost little girl
Giving life a whirl
While living her life all alone
Hidden inside
Is where she resides
Ever since she's been on her own

The little girl's life
Has been about strife
But now she tries to mend
Still lost and confused
She's easily bruised
For love she still contends

Her acceptance is grief
Her guilt has no relief
When her past comes chasing her down
Still she holds on to her rope
With a glimmer of hope
That her life will soon turn around



Details | Free verse | |

Fallen Angel

As she falls she thinks
She thinks of what she did to make this happen
She was not perfect in his eyes
She is no longer pure
He expected her to be good
She was supposed to guide those on the wrong path
And guard those innocent few
She was to be a role model
But she has fallen now
She can no longer be that
She is not innocent anymore
She has been treated like a disobedient child
He has disowned her like a pregnant daughter
He refuses to forgive her
She was supposed to be perfect
She was supposed to remain untouched for eternity
The one everyone wanted but couldn’t have
But that didn’t happen 
And she has been tossed aside 
Tossed aside like ugly clothes
She let someone touch her
And for that she can never return
She thinks he has overreacted
She doesn’t see what she did as wrong
She believes it was destined to happen
But he sees it has the worst possible thing she could do
He disowned her for one mistake
But she hopes he will let her come back
Maybe one day he will welcome her home
But for now he won’t
She imagines her new life
She thinks falling will be the hardest thing
Maybe one day she will rise again
Being a fallen angel was never her goal 
But that is what she is
And until he forgives her
That is what she will remain


Details | I do not know? | |

As I Sit With Darkness

	As I sit here, not knowing what I fear most, myself or life.

	As I sit here not knowing if I'll ever be a normal person.

	As I sit here knowing people love me, but wanting to love them, but I 
	can't, because I can't even love myself.

	As I sit here knowing my love ones are suffering, because I'm 
suffering.

	As I sit here wishing I could be strong enough to over power what I 
	know is wrong and do right.

	As I sit here knowing that my name will be just a memory to people 
that 	know me and always think about the bad things I've done.

	As I sit here seeing darkness in everything I see.

	As I sit here not knowing if I see the world for what it really is or just
another miss guided person written off.

	As I sit here not knowing if my mind is just sick or just knows the truth.

	As I sit here I know that I sacrifice the happiness of loved ones for my 
thoughts.

	As I sit here I know I'm strong in one aspect. I will sit in darkness till 
it's my day to know the answers.

	As I sit here I'm sorry for my thoughts.


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear Little Girl

Dear Little Girl,
Why do you cry
When you’re kicked down
Over nonsense?
It’s not your fault
Besides,
A broken bone
Is better than
A broken soul


Details | Free verse | |

Poetic License

There is a force outside this walls
trying to penetrate the security.
Things kept crashing round us.
In love you were sheltered,                                                                                                
but now you color it hostility.
Your embracing the things
that take you away from us,
But you color them saviors.
We were encircled with words
Of loving-kindness as a support,
But you now color it bondage and chains.
With what vision do you
Contort the foundation,
Of our very make up?
We must see through different eyes.


Details | I do not know? | |

He, Alone, Is Waking

Only he will remain

With or without a song in his heart
He wakes up humming the tune of treason
Bitter, like the taste of the drugs that remain from the night before,
     he walks a long road only to find himself at home

Can the night life be more than just a burdon?
Living like vampires, we makeout in shadows and feed off the moonlight.

Sometimes he stares at the posters on his walls
He looks for the meaning of what he can't even imagine

(Pill 1)
The sound of his heartbeat begins to play louder
(Pill2-3)
The world as he knew it is fluttering by softly
(Pill 4-6)
The music from the radio has become a voice in his head
(Pill 7)
He's falling asleep as the sun begins to rise
     hating the way he breathes and the tears in his eyes

What if this is where the ground and he sky meet?
Is there a challenge in the clouds that only birds know about?
Trees don't grow from nothing,
     they have start with something...

...and he wishes he meant as much as the seed.


Details | Free verse | |

TRUE LOVE...

It is the one I want, 
that my heart does haunt.
Even though I can not have, 
the one I hold near and dear, 
they always make me laugh.
They do not spurn me; 
all they do is make me feel free.
Though I know who I want, 
they always seem to try to taunt.
I can not have them this I know, 
I still seem to love them from head to toe.
It is for some time, 
my love I try to hide.
But now my obsession grows so strong, 
I do not know if my heart can hold out for long.
So some how my heart I must break, 
or something else my love and heart must take.
For I know them very well, 
I wish they would at least, 
make my heart hurt like hell.
Because they can not return my love, 
I will try to pray for help from above.
I truly care for them, 
so I can not go to take, 
them away from who they date, 
so now I put my whole self at stake.
Even though my love they won't return, 
I really wish then my heart would burn.
I really fear that some time soon, 
I will be emotionally ruined, 
and that to be my doom.


Details | Quatrain | |

For You...My Friend

I get the silent phone calls.
I know she's on the line.
Why don't you be a man for once
and choose her home or mine?

You say I must be crazy
because I do accuse...
You must have forgotten
how much I have to lose.

I've given you the better part
of my unhappy life.
Why can't you just be satisfied
with me being your wife?

Have I made you be unfaithful?
Do I not fulfill your needs?
Or is it just your selfishness
that makes you do such dirty deeds?

I'll get the strength to leave you,
and believe me...when I do,
You'll Pay for all the pain you've caused
when she does the same to you!


Details | I do not know? | |

Why Did You Tell Me "I Love You?"

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
A knee-jerk birthed of fear? 
A pandering to my ego? 
Words I wanted to hear? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
Later "I don't think I do?" 
A whimsical slash of cruelty? 
Ambiguous through and through? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
Then argue the point for hours? 
Bicker, snap and grow sullen? 
Destruction of hearts and flowers? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
Then erase every tangible clue? 
Maybe you told me for fun? 
Maybe because it was true? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
To mean life and death to me? 
If you please to confirm the truth 
What a wonderful life this could be.


Details | Lyric | |

No One Knows

I am alone in darkness
No one knows how I feel everyday
I am unable to speak out
I don't know why I am feeling this way

My emotions linger around
My space is squeezing by you
I wish I could get out
I don't think I can make it through

The sky is turning black
And the sun is block by my fear
The stars started to fade
I am all by myself in here

Can't feel the things around
Too far from the surroundings
Try my best to stand up
Wishing upon anything

Lost, I am trying to find myself
But the darkness blinded me so much
What happened to my world
This world I am loosing my touch

No one knows how I suffer
No one can see through me
No one knows how I feel
While everybody out there
Is running free


Details | Rhyme | |

The List

I put on paper the pros and cons
Who does me right who does me wrong
Words slowly form a saddened list
The song playing tells of this
All that is wrong comes in to light 
I start to cry as i continue to write
Looking for hope to turn it all around
But more cons is what i found
No words can i say 
To bring a spark from yesterday
The sound of the clock passing time
Brings more words to form a line
Looking here looking there 
Only words is what i share
Now words in an envelope
Waiting for that day of hope


Details | Free verse | |

An Accidental Overdose

She fought daily with the agony.
never knew when it would strike.
It affected all corners of her world
waking, sleeping, laughing, and crying.
Early one morn, she lost the battle.
Through the night she had struggled,
to rid the ache in her head.
She tried them all.
One here and one there,
still it persisted,
another, then, another.
She had forgotten the total.
The compounds crescendoed
and released an avalanche of effects.
Breathing crawled, heart decelerated
and mentation retarded.
Then all stopped.
It was an accidental overdose.
Just a girl trying to ...
stop the pain.


Details | Lyric | |

Teach Me How To Love

I was born beautiful
But…deformed by men
Lead me the way… 
To humanity


Details | Rhyme | |

Dad

Hello there dad how have you been? Oh! Really thats great please don't let me begin. 
Where were you just last year when I nearly died of stress? Or how about two months ago 
when my whole life was a mess? I wondered where you were all of the time, now I'm 
fifteen three years from grown and you show up on the dime! Well go back where you came 
from back into the portal you walked through, who's my dad? wheres he at? Oh no it 
couldn't be you, I saw a completely different face at the age of two! So your really 
here? this isn't a joke? Ha! Go somewhere and choke! I never needed you before and I 
definatly don't need you now, and I can walk my own self down the isle!


Details | I do not know? | |

Sentimental Scars

Sentimental scars
Hurt so much more
Than these physical blemishes
I’d rather bleed briefly
And heal with a scratch
Than bleed forever
And never be repaired


Details | Lyric | |

Untitled

It’s no gain to waste all this pain.

A disgrace to not always hide this face.

My mind is lame, and it’s a shame,

to feel so numb and not be dumb.

I hate to say life’s not always been this way.

It’s an outrage that I ever lived outside this cage.

Apathy works best for me.

Cold-hearted to myself, the cheaply departed.

Sadness makes me the happiest. 

My loneliness makes me feel so blessed.

This bitter resentment fills me with contentment.

My biggest folly ever was delaying this melancholy.

However this ailment is reaching my fulfillment,

Leaving me empty, sad, happy and whole.

My bitterness is such bliss.

A feeling that I would surely miss.

I often lament evading this torment.

This suffering is the greatest thing ever.

I frequently regret never being upset.

Now I daily look forward to the sorrow that’s promised by tomorrow,

and I pray it comes each and everyday.

Without its displeasure I cannot carry on,

for it is my greatest treasure.


Details | I do not know? | |

Madness

Bottled beer,
couch for a bed.

Neon signs,
blinking in red.

My heart is heavy,
with shadows cast.

My head hangs low,
with thoughts of the past.

The sun does shine,
warming the heart of another.

Dreaming of the image,
of a long, lost lover.

Time and times,
have taken their toll.

Overwhelming feelings,
of sadness and woe.

My head rings loud,
with thoughts of madness.

But in my heart,
there's only sadness.


Details | I do not know? | |

Fade

I cling to this blade of silver, sharp and cold,
Trying to forget all that I was told.

My mind is numb, still my body feels.
Look inside, see the invisible scars that will never heal.

Thin red lines, seeping red.
Although I am alive, most of ME is dead.

With each cut I make with this blade
I feel more of ME fade away.

Crying and rocking, I look at what I have done.
My skin is marred and I wish the guilt were gone.

Every time it is exactly the same. 
I seek to find refuge by causing my pain.

Finding a calm always before the storm.
It is after this calm that Shadow takes form.

My demons arise to tell me that I've failed.
I will find no rest in life, only my self created hell.

The days now blend. Not one is different from the other.
Hands of Death, my mouth they do cover.

They hold me so tightly, struggling I draw breath.
For now I am held captive, captive in the hands of Death.

Watch me fade as the clocks runs it's race.
To die would be sweet, with no more demons to face.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Vacuous Man

I drink...
Alone, all the time, always thinking,
About past times that should have been.
I should have done this, I should have done that,
I never get the chance to do anything,
Because nothing ever goes my way,
As I'm too busy anyhow,
My bravery is diminished just for now
And life's dreams will be fulfilled another day...
And confrontational pressure will soon go away.

My life is a struggle, and
Like dead weight, I plop back down,
A tiring sigh befits my frown,
Viscous is my life's blood,
Laziness is my likelihood,
I am a self-trapped man.
Self-esteem, non-existent,
Life is sucked out, numbed is my soul,
Nothing here, no spirit left,
Nothing but skin and bones.
Imminent is my digress,
Divest of intellectual progress.

I go over the events in my mind,
The portrayal of my life, and I shine,
It's so exciting, yet so elusive,
My drunkenness has gotten me stupid,
Once again.
For I relished the vivid, savor the imagined
Wallowing in what could have happened
And afraid to take the real first step.
I'm swirling, swirling, swirling,
Filled with sameness and frustration,
Face red and swollen 
With the day's libation,
Eyes are glazed, mind on vacation,
My true reality, always distant,
The ice cracks and pops to the marriage of spirits and
I drink...


Details | Lyric | |

Afraid to Feel

I feel afraid, afraid to feel, I look in the mirror, I bow my head and then I kneel. 
Hearing the screams burned in my mind, yet afraid to listen, fearing what I will 
find. Upon me lies a cape of darkness and gloom, I wear it like a shroud and 
hide in my room, ! stare at the door hoping yet fearing, that an end to this 
suffering is finally nearing...afraid to feel or feeling afraid, I can no longer tell, I 
find myself wondering if this could be hell....afraid to feel, what can be done, 
when the soul fills with fear and the hearts song goes unsung... 

Tis a tragedy of shattering despair. I cry out,"Someone please tell me when I 
learned not to care!"  I grab my head and pull my own hair, whispering, why me?  
It just isn't fair.  I long for days past, when love was constant and I had faith it 
would last. Now I scream silently, begging for the return, of the emotion that fate 
so carelessly burned....feeling afraid, afraid to feel, why hast thou forsaken me? I 
ask as I kneel. 

! hear the answering sound of madness laughing, as it takes hold of my mind, 
leaving me gasping. Now comes to me my greatest fear, darkness falls upon me 
as I shed a tear, as my sanity begins to unpeel, I suddenly realize.....that I can 
feel....I look toward the mirror, and the glance that assures me I'm real, also 
assures me I'm still afraid.................... afraid to feel.


Details | I do not know? | |

Frozen Silent

In silence she travels and walks through the haze.
Abundantly thinking; she’s no longer amazed.
For the world has stood frozen; her hairs woven like thread.
The world has stood frozen… lifeless… and dead.
But still she will wonder and travel her path.
Time measured by distance.
Silence withers her wrath.
So silent the silence she desperately seeks;
So loud is the silence … she no longer speaks.


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Choice

I don’t know where I’m supposed to go, or who you want me to be
Would it be better if I were twenty pounds lighter, or a little bit more carefree?
What if I stop caring, or making phone calls to you at night?
Would you ask me what was going on, would you put up a fight?

I’m confused because it seems like you just don’t care
What am I supposed to do, sacrifice without allowing what is fair?
I want to be able to ignore that maybe you don’t want me as your own?
Really, be honest, have your feelings even grown?

I view you as a good man, with a heart and ambition for life
And I’m not asking for forever or even to be your wife
But I do know I deserve affection and simple courtesy
If your intentions are not the best, merely leave me be


Details | I do not know? | |

Emptiness

I can't seem to hide,
all this emptiness inside.
It's tearing me to pieces,
ripping me at the seams.
Doing it's best to keep me,
from accomplishing anything.
Can't seem to think straight,
or keep my mind still.
When all I really want to do,
is sit and talk with you.
Instead I sit here with nothing,
but emptiness for you.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Note

Is there a cure for suicide?
Or is suicide the cure?
Emotion is a boundless tide,
But death is beautiful and pure,
The depression that commands my life,
Is consistent every day,
I hate it but I don’t cause strife,
For it is the only way,
If all I felt in life was death,
Why not end it now and end my pain?
For depression tightens with every breath,
And I’ve got nothing left to gain,
I write this now to bid goodbye,
For no one knows my endless sorrow,
I found the cure which is to die,
I won’t have to make it through tomorrow,
Look at This gun in my palm,
Won’t you Listen to it scream?
I never thought id be co calm,
When my mind is breaking at the seam,
Look at my blood on the wall,
Can you see the thoughts of my mind?
All that I did in life was fall,
And wish god wouldn’t lead me blind,
Look at the boy on the floor,
I put a bullet through his head,
What if I hadn’t closed the door?
And I just tried to go the bed,
Another day living the lie,
Always trying to hide my sorrow,
All that I really want to do is die,
But I always try to make it to tomorrow,
But never again- oh never again,
To him I just committed a crime, 
All that crap about how not to sin,
I proved him wrong for one last time,
Because if I’m dead and I chose to be,
Then I’m going to hell with the beast,
Did god love anyone less than me?
Because that man is surely deceased,
Didn’t god relieve Jobe of his pain,
Depression has always been my life,
I don’t think I can lift this chain,
Or even refuse to use that knife,
If I killed myself- what was gods aim?
God just decided to make me suffer,
Each day for me was never the same,
They all just kept on getting tougher,
But its over now and my pain is eased,
I always felt like I was caught,
I hope that everyone else is pleased,
I bet they never would have thought,


Details | Acrostic | |

Who Are You

 How dare you take advantage of me like that ,
Leaving me stranded with no way to go forward or back.
   Using the friendship that we had led me to believe,
That there was trust and honor between you and me .
   How you layed me aside and left me for dead ,
You have caused these hateful thoughts inside my head.
   Never could I have done this to any man , 
I can see you have no concious so I know you can.
  There just one thing I really want to say  about this ,
It's been a long time since I have made a clinched fist .
  You have no idea how much hurt you have caused,
It won't be me you'll have to face That's up to God
   But you will regret mistaking this kindness for weakness girl,
Bad Karma will surely consume you this is my word.
   Yes you were able to catch me completely off gaurd ,
Never again because now I know who you are .
TAC


Details | Salaam | |

Yeh khaalipan


Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega

Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega

Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega


Details | Rhyme | |

A living hell My Agoraphobia

My Agoraphobia.
In 1983 you came back  into my life.
Bringing me nothing, but trouble and strife.
You kept me a prisoner in my own home.
When all I longed for, Was to go out alone.
You caused me pain, you made cry,
I felt so ill, I thought I would die.
From doctor, to doctor, from pillar to post.
Where o where, is the cure I wanted the most?
Where exactly does the answer lie?
Eventually I found it, in a doctor called Di.
She gave me the will to carry on and fight.
I fought so hard, with all of  my might.
The shops in the village seemed so very far away.
If only I could go out, just for one single day.
I tried and tried, the tears, the pain,
It was a battle lose or gain,
I gave it everything, yes everything I had.
It wasn’t easy, in fact, it was very bad.
In 1990, after 7 long years,
A lot of heartache, many, many tears,
I was starting to win the battle of getting out the door,
With each day, I was doing more and more,
But there was still so many things that I couldn’t do alone.
Still so many jobs, that had to be done on the phone.
I could now walk to the shops, there and back,
 get the groceries, take them home, and unpack,
But I still couldn’t get a bus into town on my own,
only if I had someone to go with, borrowed, on loan.
It took several more years, of heartbreak and pain,
Before I could finally travel alone again.
May 2nd  2000, I jumped on a bus and popped into town,
It was just like my world had been turned upside down.
HERE WAS I FREE AT LAST,
Finally free to forget the past.
So I decided to do something I had never done before. 
I started at college part time, each day I couldn’t wait to get out of the door,
To catch my bus, to feel like I had finally rejoined the human race.
Living life at a hectic pace.
Going to college at the age of 53,
Really did do wanders for me.
The computer course was harder than I thought it would be, 
but others in the class helped me.
Our tutor was really nice,
Always ready with good advice.
Now I really feel I have turned my life completely around,
With this new freedom I have found.
With a lot of help, from my husband and son,
The battle is over, finally won.
So its goodbye agoraphobia you belong in the past,
Never again will you get me in your grasp.

This is a true poem of my own battle with Agoraphobia, That robbed me of a lot of my life, 


Details | Rhyme | |

Put a bullet in my brain

Put a bullet in my brain
as the rain sweeps her out of my arms
and places her into another's.
Put a bullet in my brain
for I don't want to see love slip away
please end my suffering,
for I don't want to dare see her in the arms of another man.

I fear the tear that slips away from my soul
and touches the ground with a splash
as she is washed away by the lashed memories of the rain,
please, someone put a bullet in my brain.

I can't bear to see her with another man
laying in his arms
as he charishes her beauty
just like I did to her.
As she smiles and laughs at his jokes
my heart would not bare the sorrow and pain
that would tare my heart apart into pieces of tainted love.
Please tell the rain to stop,
as the pain grows when rain comes down,
please someone end my suffering,
put a bullet in my brain
and stop the rain
that washes away every memory of her.

Stop saying you miss me
and just kiss me
for I can't take the pain
of the rain that takes you away.
Kiss me and stop saying you miss me
for those are useless words to me.
Love is where it's at, so show me.
Don't go with him, he'll treat you wrong.
Love and laugh with me till the break of dawn
as we yawn the long night away.

Kiss me and don't say you miss me.
For if you go away from me,
I couldn't bare to take a tear and waste it away.
Tears, sweet tears crying for you,
doesn't that mean anything to you?
I ask you, stop the rain,
stop the pain and put that bullet in my brain.

Let the red blood flow from my temples.
Let the plow dig my grave,
for I can't bare to see you with another
in his arms, him kissing you, where I kissed you.
I can't take it, I have to make it,
make that pain go away.
Prayer didn't help, God turned a blind eye
when I came up and said why!
Put that bullet in my dome
and when I lay in the coffin, looking at the roof of the church
you come and kiss me, and then you can really say
that you'll miss me.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

SO blind

   All this time I have always had my doubts,
Not the person led to believe is what I found out.
   To be deceived and lied to for oh so long,
Down deep I knew there was something wrong.
   Head over heels I had fallen in love ,
Always thought you were sent from above.
   How the knife is twisted into my side ,
So much pain I can do nothing but cry.
   These memories of what I thought was real,
I'm confused and I don't how how to feel.
    Is this really possible that I did not know,
Through all this time it never showed.
    Such an evil thing to do to a man ,
Especially the lies which he could not stand.
    How cruel and cold your heart must be ,
To carry on as you did never letting me see.
     Hard to accept all those moments  so dear ,
Realizing they are now my greatest fears .
     What was to be Joy and Happiness,
Replaced by the feelings of a loneliness.
   Never did I imagine this happening to me ,
Thinking that you and I were meant to be .
   It's a very hard thing for a man to accept ,
When he finds out that he's been tricked.
    Was it the money or the control you had ,
Maybe because you are really just that bad.
    Some day soon for this you will have to pay ,
For the sins against me and your evil ways.
    Goodbye to you  who ever you are ,
For in this heart you have left brutally scarred.
Tac.


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 1)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank 
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished 


Me, Myself, and I...


“There are things that concern us,”
		Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”

“And after careful deliberation
		It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”


“Fact is your intuition
		Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”

“So you leave us no recourse
		Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired


I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”

“And with much technique and time
		And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”


“So to keep yourself from having a fit
		Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”

“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
		Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul


You know, fact is I do feel off axis
		As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen

And with my mind feeling numb
		I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin


And then came questions in a flurry
		Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give

They pushed and they prodded
		With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve


And all this psycho-analysis
		Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please

“Yes, oh yes indeed
		I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hospital Fairyland

THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.


Details | Rhyme | |

Let Him Go

This poem I wrote. I call it " Let Him Go "

Sweetheart don't cry
Don't let him make you feel like your nothing
You do have family even though we are not close by
I know your heart is crushing
Don't harp on the past
Don't let him play with your head
You need to get over him fast
His feelings for you are dead
Over 2 years and you still don't have a ring
Your not the one he calls his wifey to be no more
Take a seat and listen up girl here is the thing
He's playing with your feelings and using you like a two dollar whore
I know you were smart once and can be again
He has you so brain washed it's not funny
I know hearing all this is a strain
Think of the example your setting for you little ones honey
Hold your head high and walk away from that loser mama's boy 
Show him that your the one that is too good for his sorry ass
Hell he's such a mama's boy you can find better pleasure in a toy
Your related to me so come on show your sass 
Let go of the past and look to a new future
Let go of the pain and the control freak
Say bye bye Looser
It will get easier one step at a time week by week......


Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't take his place
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Free verse | |

If I Had The Guts

I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know its not fair. 
I know i should tell you.
I know i have to tell you.

Maybe i can tell you some, but not all.
Maybe i can keep it secret just a little longer.
Maybe i can hide it from you more.
Maybe i can get the guts to tell you everything.

Everyday, i wanna tell you.
Everyday, i hope i get the guts to tell you.
Everyday, i feel bad for not telling you.
Everyday i think about you.

Sometimes, i dont want to tell you.
Sometimes, i just want you to know it all.
Sometimes, i wish i never knew you.
Sometimes, i wish you were all mine.

If i had the guts, i would tell you everything.
If i had the guts, i would tell you how much you mean to me.
If i had the guts, i would tell you your the only reason im alive.
If i had the guts, i would tell you my biggest secret.

Just knowing that i love you.
Just knowing that you may or may not love me back.
Just knowing that i care.
Just knowing that you probably dont.

Breaks my heart.
Breaks my soul.
Breaks my dreams.
Breaks my life.

If i had you, my life would be complete.
If i had you, my life would be perfect.
If i had you, i would be happy.
If i had you, i wouldnt have to search anymore.

I know i should tell you.
I know its not fair.
I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know i should tell you.

But, i dont have the guts, 
The guts to tell you i love you,
The guts to tell you your the reason im alive,
The guts to tell you,
I need you in my life.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shunned

Breaking down in the heart and mind.
With all regrets that are truly not kind.
Shocked at people are, so painful to see.
Abused with hated and ecstasy.
Violated and directed with torments
Lost of words or comments.
Hatred gushing out of life long experience.
Reminding yourself to become absence.
Coward and scared to even breathe.
Like the feeling of knives unsheathe.
Sharp but not enough to cut.
Enough to scare like a door that immediately shut.
The hand raised to help you is a lie.
It is a hand that slaps you so you can die.
Rough around the edges.
Crawling in your dreams in ledges.
Powered to stay alive.
You feel people want you to take a dive.
Just stop, and fall down.
Hoping to break your mental crown.
Hiding a feeling that never feels real.
Like shaking hands with demons for a deal.
Blocked out, out of your own story.
Thinking that people are stealing your glory.
Ashamed with fear.
With eyes that are full of tear.
Lost in such hidden romance.
Luck has it seems to be a dance.
Moving around in your head.
With scary thoughts and dread.
Feels like you never leave.
So you feel so many that grieve.
In your mind that is lost.
Full of drama that holds you down in cost.
Keeping in the shadow.
You watch people so shallow.
Gut instinct says that life with them is a muse.
When your just standing your accuse.
Society is just so lame.
Like all the people that are in it your to blame.
Soloing life is a brief.
Walking away is some what a relief.
I dreamed of many things.
With beautiful sorrows of wings.
Wavered in a direction that leads no where.
Escaping everything by a hair.
Pointing into the sky.
And asking yourself why.
The cage is so big.
Just enough to put on a huge rig.
Moving back and fourth.
It feels that your life does not have a worth.
Caned by laws of laughter to deceive.
Shackled up to be bent to your will to receive.
When you hope to hope.
A person can just show you the rope.
They have such friendly hands.
Like the deserts of sands.
Dangerous it is to just keep walking in it.
Lost cannot find your way even a little bit.
Just seem like your heart feels dry.
Then you give up and give a sigh.
That moment that you do is just all a dream.
You are really in a ward you will scream.
Thrust upon you because you could not protect.
So what cost you is this effect.
Warping in to your mind to leave this place.
You feel full of disgrace.
With nothing to drink.
Causing your true self to think.
Grief is such a pain with sorrow to gain.
Looking out in your own rain.




Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye Stranger

The person I see today
so different from yesterday
Its like it wasn't you
It's like it wasn't me
Its as if this is all new
what happened in the past
not a soul knew.

Life happened so quickly
life happened so fast
my heart was once attached

Now I see you
but its not you
Its like it was a dream
I woke up and you were not what you seemed.
Am I the only one that dreamed this dream?

Now when I see you
when I look in your eyes,
all I can see is lies.
All that I believed to be true
everything I saw in you.
Such lies you spewed to me
how selfish you could be.
The words you spoke to me,
the experiences we shared,
are moments in time,
now unreachable, lost in the past.

I see you as I walk by,
I don't understand how you ever made me cry.
I now realize our relationship was a lie.
But this one fact,  I can not deny,
I wanted to believe this lie.
I wanted you to be true.
I wanted to start anew.
I look back now,
I should not have chosen you.

I have nothing more to say.
Maybe the words you spoke to me
will haunt you with the memory of me.

Goodbye to the person I once knew..
Goodbye to all the thoughts of you.


Details | Rhyme | |

What Is This Church All About

What Is This Church All About?

Is this church meant for people like me?
Is this where God really wants me to be?

They claim to be filled with God’s spirit.
When it comes to HIS truth...  Can they give it?

I’m sure there’s many who come and attend
It’s more than “church on Sunday,” that we must spend!

We must reach out to the lost and the oppressed!
After all, Christ gave us his very best!

May we all preach the gospel and God’s holiness!
And strive to seek his awesome righteousness!

Living for Jesus must be a daily walk and experience!
Not simply based on our “ambitious self appearance.”

God isn’t interested in a denomination or a title…
He wants to know…  Do we really believe the Bible?

He’s not interested in the money put in the offering plate.
He wants to know; “Are you ready
 to enter heaven’s gate?”

May we strive to serve Jesus with a zeal and passion!
And be filled with his holiness and compassion!

May we serve Jesus from a heart of humbled confession!
And making our commitment to him,
 our #1 possession!

“Unless the Lord builds the house.”  
They labor in vain that build it!
Let’s seek the power of God! 
May his presence completely fill it!!

By Jim Pemberton    


Details | Lyric | |

This Aint Real

Your face, 
Made a fake smile, (you said)
I love you,
I need you,
I want you just for a while,
You told me,
That I made you smile,
All the things you said to me,
Are just words now,
How can we love,
When you love me for yourself,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus: 2x
What are we doin,
If this love ain't real,
What is this feeling,
That I feel,

I'm broken in emotion,
I'm broken in love, (you said)
I need you,
I want you
You're the only one,
I'm thinkin of, (so tell me)
How can we love, 
When there's always someone else,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus 2x
Bridge:
How can we love,
When there's always someone else,
How can we make up,
When you only love me for yourself,

verse #3:
You got me imprisoned, 
Inside your heart,
When kissed
I felt, Like we,
Would never be apart,
chorus 2x

 


Details | Verse | |

Help Me

HELP ME

When we fight 
I want to run away
But there’s nowhere to go
But down, down, down

Your vicious tongue lashes thru my heart
As you beat me with your soul
And I want to run away 
So far from you and this town, town, town

If I could just tell someone 
I’m just a piece of trash
Would they help me or am I just all alone?
Metal and glass crash. 

I never thought I could hate someone 
Until I met your sadness
Evil never felt so bad. 
You’re driving me too madness

Running, running away from you 
To nowhere lasting
Screaming and nobody hears me 
As my blood pours fasting 

Please save me from this ilk. 
I’m too weak to drink my milk
The time has come and gone my friend
I fear the near is coming to an end…help

Leah
1/30/2013


Details | Free verse | |

STILL

I have developed a temporary dislike of the things that I’ve convinced myself have been keeping you away from me. Mere substitutes that admitted to the murder of your mind.

This phone, and this 11 o’clock moon have slayed my reason’s for not just blaming your wandering eye.

Most of these nights I’ve tried Ctrl.Alt.Del.(ing) any ridiculous thoughts, by selecting all of the frequently frustrating things that know just how to push my buttons. I don’t know why I’m speaking in computer terms, but lately I haven’t been able to function quite right unless I’m near one. It’s the only way to get near you.

Most of these nights, this phone has been the entire left side of my brain, but now my mattress has memorized the rhythm to a ringtone it should’ve never been introduced to, and now the stupid cushion keeps me awake until it has made sure that I’ve felt it vibrating up my spine. My intuitive, creative right brain seems to remember being together with it’s brother each and every time I remember laying together beside you.

I wait for a wanting of your wanting. Muscle memories of warm bodies wrapped up in positions that make your mind say ‘what the ****?’ I am missing you. The you who remembers that the other members of her body are always here to help; no need to amputate a listening ear, or an gouge out an attentive eye. I still see you.

Sometimes, I forget that the phone’s main function is to send a signal of information to someone you can’t see. Whether it be via text, twitter app or vocally, you want to reach someone you can’t see. I still see you.

Sometimes, I swear I can see each of the moon’s phases during the day;  completely filled with life during the time when it’s nearly invisible. It’s sad though, because New Moon, you show yourself to everyone else except me on the nights I always expect to see your face. Is this a trick man? or have my eyes been gouged out already, and I simply missed the painful message via text, twitter app or vocally? But still, whether with two eyes, four eyes or no eyes, I still see you.


Details | Elegy | |

Raindrops and Teardrops


Details | I do not know? | |

The Loyalty Bond

How kind of you to think of me
On this beautiful autumn day
Were your thoughts regarding your loyalty?
Or were they thoughts rehearsed to display?

Such a powerful thing, this loyalty bond
Something we all inevitably yearn
A bond of trust and fidelity
A bond which we all must earn

Many will take it lightly
Most will not understand
Some will honor and embrace it
Yet the majority will heartily disband

I laugh at the thought of the loyalty bond
The yearning of a bond which does not exist
Its amazing how all of us will long for
An illusion so easily dismissed


Details | Pantoum | |

They Took Away My Innocence

They took away my innocence—
A child, but merely two years old.
My soul left with ambivalence;
I hate myself as I grow old.

A child, but merely two years old—
Abandoned, glossed over, abused.
I hate myself as I grow old;
Completely left confused and used.

Abandoned, glossed over, abused—
Why would a person hurt a child?
Completely left confused and used—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.

Why would a person hurt a child?
My soul left with ambivalence—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.
They took away my innocence.

	



Details | Blank verse | |

No One Can Hear Me

I awake, not sure whether I am alive... or dead
I wait, for the smell of the hearth... and baking bread 
But, what greets me is the smell of the privy next to my bed
I am like a ghost.. no one remembers what my last words were
I listen for the clucking of hens
I listen for my goat in her pen
I listen for my little brother, my kin
I do not hear them
I yell, For my mother
For my father
For my sister
But no one can hear me,
Not even the gods


Details | Free verse | |

The Wall, The Wall

The Wall, The Wall

I
the world fades from my fingertips
like blood oozing from an open wound
the sky is ripped apart and full of thunder
and my eyes are twisted in pain

shut the door and lock me within
the light is buzzing and flickering
something is about to explode
or maybe thats just my soul

softly touch the wall and it corrodes
the white paint peels and turns black
and cracks appear on the surface
a garbage touch that ruins it all

for years the signs of ruin were there
building up behind fragile white walls
and now i sit here with an open chest
my heart nailed to the damned wall

and as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood from an open wound
the sky outside is bloody and tormented
and i cant begin to see my own reality

II
im so afraid that if i get up ill fall again
damned by the ghosts of the past
the flashing glare of reality looms larger
closing in on me and slapping me

if only someone could open the door
and let me out of this foreboding room
perhaps i could see more than whats inside
instead of slicing myself in half

remember it was your verse that ended me
slicing off my fingers one by one
it was when my heart was nailed to the wall
that i truly forgot how to feel

my sickening screams echo loudly
throughout the confines of my own mind
reverberating down my spine
and leaving me in a shivering fit

as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood pouring from an open wound
the sky outside has faded to a deep black
and i cant begin to see my own reality


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Rhyme | |

Thoughts That Grow Louder

With a whispered thought comes a dream
To be above the shame and guilt
Of losing pride in what would seem,
To most, the whole of what we built.

With a quiet thought comes the fear,
And shadows close the doors of reason.
I see racing frames of pictures clear, 
Rendering unbearable deeds of treason.

With that clear thought, I stand corrected-
So much love has come and gone,
But I, alone, must stay connected 
To what I know and where I belong.


Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Narrative | |

Midnight Again

Its midnight again, TV on
The sofa becomes my bed
As the confusion of our lives
Fills my weary head

At times I drift off
And think of days gone by
How I yearn for yesterday
So bad it makes me cry

Other times I feel just like a kid
With something new to share
And you put your soul around me 
And tell me how much you care

At times I think its working
Like I’ve finally met the mark
And all too quickly it ends
And I’m alone, on the couch, in the dark

Why can’t it all be the way it was
That day on top of the hill
Am I really as bad a person 
As you can make me feel


Inside I try so hard
Outside it seems I don’t
I want to meet your needs
But I don’t know what you want

I try to be your husband
Your lover and your friend
Somehow I never am
And I find myself here again

I try to be a father
But those efforts just backfire
Somehow I manage to destroy
Everything that I desire

I ask myself, “Is it worth it?”
Why don’t I start anew
And after hours of contemplation
Just one answer, “I love you”

And resolved to that end
I lay my heart to sleep
And I pray the lord
Our souls together he will keep

A silent kiss to you and the kids
In hopes of a better day
As I close my eyes to dream
And let my troubles drift away 


Details | I do not know? | |

Coaster Of Emotions

The man I fell in love with is a man who has more than one side
Sometimes I have too just cross my fingers and strap on for the ride
There are times when he is funny and does nothing but make me giggle
Then there are times when he makes my toes curl and wiggle
There are times he comes home angry and takes it out on me
I try to understand there are going to be times where that’s how it is going to be.
Sometimes he snaps when he is real bored.
That's when I have to be patient and pray to the lord 
I don't think he always sees how much he means to me.
How deep in my heart I know we're meant to be
I know each day with him is like a roller coaster ride
My feelings about him I will not change or hide
Strap in it’s a new day, here we go again. 
Up, up, on top
I can see the world 
Down make it stop
Round the curve, ahh missed that fight
Whew
What days not over yet?
Oh no...
Ok strapped in all set
Hold on tight here comes another turn
Bump bump bump the coaster goes on the track of life
I can feel the anger make my heart and hope burn
All I ever wanted was to be his wife
Up it goes again high high high 
It's now Friday night and we just started another fight
I can hear him sign 
Down its going again
This time I'm holding on with all my might
Coaster of emotions your ride is not fun at all. 
Coaster of emotions you want me to weep in sorrow
Coaster of emotions I will not fall 
I'll stay strapped in and take the ride again tomorrow.


Details | Personification | |

I want to say Something

Something is in my heart
I want to say it
 
Words can't support me
How can I say it?

I want to know,
If you can bear it

Why can't I say it?

I am delighted,
If you want to hear it?

No, no, or never
Why can't I say it?


Details | Elegy | |

Where are you

You flourished and blurred
like a spark on wind

Gracefully and quickly like a frightened hind
in pursuit of light

You harvested through bushy meadows
taken by blight

In struggle with plight
had you lost your might

And gave out
although never you gave up.

Where are you?
For you must be still there.

For I still can feel you
somewhere in the air.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Material Christmas

It's Christmas! Christmas!
That time of year
When people are filled...
With holiday cheer?

Yeah right. . .
I really do wish it were true
But people are people
Through and through

It's not about happiness anymore
Or in respect to what matters.
In reality it concerns what you get
And the food that is piled on the platters.

What has happened to the world of today?
Where is the 'loving and giving...'?
Now it is all just me, me, me.
Is this a nightmare? Or are we actually living.  

Yep we might have a lot of things
Hang on! Let's add some more
It isn't the family that I'm expecting
But the postman knocking at the door.

When the topic turns to Christmas cheer
Lets go stuff our faces...
Break out all that lovely beer!
Chuck away those graces!

But... Suddenly the month is over
There go all the gifts you gave
Your debt payments crawl closer and closer
And you become a material slave.






Details | Verse | |

Home of the Slaves

Land of the free
Home of the slaves
The blood, sweat and tears of my ancestors resonate
Amongst the soil where they were slain
I’m hearing their struggle
I’m feeling their pain
I can’t imagine being forced to part from my family
All for massa’s gain
So I pay homage to those who promoted change

People like every slave who tried to escape
Nat Turner, Ms Carlotta, Harriet Tubman
And the safe houses who were in accord
And peg leg Joe with his song
Follow the drinking gourd.

People like, the disregarded - those thrown overboard
And who was dismissed and defamed
The ones who were stripped of their soul, their pride, their names

The list could go on  
The full will never be told
So I pay homage to others who were bold
Like John Brown, The Freedom Riders, Sojourner Truth
Ida B Wells, Phyllis Wheatley, Maya Angelou, 
Langston Hughes and Charles Drew

George Washington Carver, Ruby Bridges
Booker T Washington and Mary McCleod Bethune
Charles Houston, Ralph Bunche, Fredrick Douglass
WEB Dubois, Paul Robeson, Ralph Abernathy
Benjamin Banneker, Marcus Garvey and Crispus Attucks
Who’s death by the way
Symbolized the American lie
You cant declare the rights of all men
While the people of African decent rights get denied
But still we rise

Thanks to Dr Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, 
The Black Panthers, the Buffalo Soldiers and Tuskegee Airmen
None who were showed any love
Yeah it’s an uphill battle, 
But obviously greatness can be done.

We can rise above this stigma 
That blacks are lazy and daunting
That our worth is null and void 
And in essence minus nothing
And of all the names mentioned 
And the greatness of their successes
No one has been able to erase the evil transgressions of a racist mind
And once you have experienced just a taste of it
It changes your perception of time
The oppression beats like the drum on the chariot
Of when it was finally time to escape to freedom
It's mine


Details | Rhyme | |

Screaming In Silence

How can it be that you are dead
These thoughts keep racing inside my head
I can not believe it, it can not be true
How can I live in this world without you
My life will be empty, my heart broke in half
You're my reason for living, you make me laugh
How can I go on, how can this be
I'm falling to pieces, please can't you see
I'm crying, and dying, and empty inside
All of these feelings I can not hide
Where do I turn, what will I do
I just want to die and move on with you
They say that I can't, they say I must stay
I must keep on going to face the next day
I can not conceive it, I feel out of breath
I do not know how to deal with this death
Oh, God please help me, please reach out your hand
I need you to hold me and help me to stand
I turn to you now, my saving grace
Please take his soul to a higher place


Details | Narrative | |

A Soul Awakened

The warm light calls me
And all the people who cries for thee
I raise my hand in this abyss
Only to make one wish
To float among the others
With all my sisters and brothers
I call out for forgiveness with passion
I take their pain into myself for this occasion
The moment that I see the sky
I will not look back and cry
My body is laying still
People standing by it with a chill
The air gets dense with sadness
I would not think of it less
Some people look up and down
To see the light hit the ground
Some can vision the uplifting feeling they see
One soul that has been and always be
It is special to notice such aberration 
And that might be how souls are awaken


Details | Narrative | |

My Hidden Fear

People are my weakness and hidden fear
I just feel that some words they say set me in tear
For example I gave a person a smile one day and they gave me a glare
I did not know that smiling in the world today cause people to stare
These types of stare gave me chills down my spine a feeling that made me blind
Why? why is my weakness the people who are very unkind
Hiding is all I can do when people give me a unkind view
I get to a point that my fear seems to wonder and stew
People are who they are and what should I even do
I don't understand that they are evil and some times nice too
My hidden fear are people just because they are always around
That is no argument and my feeling are perfectly sound
The hate builds up in my mind, but does not bother, how my heart feel
I learned to undergo a change that my feelings become like steel
Hard as it should be in situations needed I forget how to use it
So it becomes my weapon and it is to some people heartless just a bit
My hidden fear is what I see in people today
They harm others and they think it is okay
That is why I fear my feelings for others at times because it is so confusing
My hidden fear is some what bad and some what a blessing


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Rhyme | |

Living A Lifestyle That the Bible Forbids

Living A Lifestyle That the Bible Forbids…

I know of someone living a lifestyle that the Bible forbids.
He told me; “how dare anyone tell me how I should live!”

He added; “what I do is no one else’s business but my own.”
“No one can ever tell me what I do in my home!”

When given scripture that clearly forbids what he’s doing…
It’s the backward kind of life… That he’s choosing!

He claims Jesus is his lord, in spite of his moral depravity.
It’s like he has, in his body, an “infected cavity.”

God gave to us his word, with his holy instructions!
If we don’t obey, it’ll lead to our spiritual destruction!

It doesn’t matter if 10,000 churches say that it’s o.k. to do!
God requires a righteous and holy way of living, for me and YOU!

There are choices we all have, that are to be made!
Are you going to be victorious in Christ?  Or sin’s slave???

Have you thought about living for Jesus?  And what it cost?
If we’re not sacrificing our lives for him, we’re forever lost!

If you’re one who’s caught up into a life filled with perversion…
May I introduce you to the blood of Jesus?  And a righteous conversion?

God gave to each of us, HIS rules and commandments to live by!
It’s either God’s rules, or man’s, that you’ll either live or die by!

Won’t you choose a life that God has chosen to give you?
He created mankind!  It’s no secret how much he loves you!

The opportunity is here!  It may never come again!
Won’t you let the power of Jesus break the bondage of sin?

Jesus can set you free!   Won’t you let him help you?
He’s patiently waiting…   Just because he wants to!

By Jim Pemberton   10/07/13


Details | Light Poetry | |

Running Away

Packing bags and leaving home 

Running into the darkness of 
night like a criminal

No destination

Just an escape into freedom 
from the nightmare

Just feeling the sunlight’s breath 
on my cheek freely

A winds whisper touching my 
ears

Running away from dreams and 
wishes

Setting an adventure of a 
lifetime

Running away from the past 
where horror lies

Running away from lullabies and 
thunder

Forgetting everything for awhile 

And sit down and breathe in and 
out for awhile

Smelling the freshness of life 
that will no longer exist


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | I do not know? | |

Well how do you feel

In high school everything changes
Teachers, friends, you, 
“That’s just life” they say,
And they never stop to ask
“Well, how do you feel?”

And your friends leave, and your grades decrease,
And your teachers begin to worry,
And they make you see a shrink,
But they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

The sky starts to crumble,
And the tears begin to fall,
And music and hoodies become your best friends,
And they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

And the tools come out.
And the objects fall apart,
And you reach for the closest one,
And the ask, finally,
“Well, how do you feel?”

But by now it’s too late.
Your time is up, your blood’s run out,
Your scars show for the world to see,
Cause they asked too late,
“Well, how do you feel?”

“She was so young” they all say,
But really you were old.
You’d seen so much and hurt so much,
It was time for you to go.

So you picked up the pills and washed them down
And grabbed the blades and cut
And when they finally noticed you weren’t around
It was too late you were gone.

They found your letter on the bed
And read it out at school
“You asked to late, but I don’t blame you.”
And your friends were moved to tears. 

In your tree house in the yard
They found you pale as snow
Your eyes closed, a smile on your face
And they realized you were gone.

They roll up your sleeves and roll up your pants
And scream at what they see
Lines, and lines, and lines of cuts
Some healed and some not.

And they realized they should have asked in the beginning
How you felt that is, cause, 
Honestly you didn’t, 
You didn’t feel anything at all. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Longing for Peace

What is this weight, upon my chest I feel?
Is it worries trapped inside my mind, or is it real

I gasp for air, but feel that there is nothing left for me
The weight I feel upon my chest I can not touch or see

It feels of heavy burden, painful loss and memories
As if I’m sitting in a boat alone in darkened seas

Surrounded by the darkness, and the air is thick and tight
I feel as if I’m standing still, though I row with all my might

I pray for God to clear the air, and show me that there’s light
But this prayer, has gone unheard, and my heart is full of fright

What do I do, where do I turn, there is no help for me
This is something I must endure, be brave until I’m free

The pain I feel, it just gets worse, and I feel I can not stand
What should I do, I try to move, but it’s as if I’m in quick sand

My mind has lost all reason; it’s as if there’s nothing there
My heart feels all the pressure, and it’s more than it can bear

I’m trapped inside a darkened space, that’s full of worry and despair
I’m weighed down with all my thoughts, and I don’t really want to share

I know that this is something that I will get through one day
But until then I’m trapped inside this mind so far away.


Details | I do not know? | |

On Human Responsibility in a Chaotic World

I hear it,
Like the many lights flashing
 just to keep me going.
Contrary to  the damp twisted sheets 
as my anchor to 
the warm drip.

On my invisible brow 
I have been spat 
 
And I am not counting

Now,
Theres always an echo of an army
poised in the dark
between finishing and pointlessness
Sometimes gumming Orchid petals and clicking wooden heels
over and over.

For the first time today I remembered there was something outside 
of me. 
I heard a resonating moan.
Nothing like air nor flesh 
but many strong puzzle pieces 
spinnging and catching 
to simply and suprisingly 
keep going
 forward.


Details | Kyrielle | |

Raven's End

I know that taking my life is a sin,
But you don’t know how much pain I am in;
Death is better than this hell I’ve been through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

My tortured soul robs me of breath,
All I seek is the release of death;
Requesting redemption in the gun I cling to,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

I’m considering briefly the life I must end,
Nothing is left but the chance to transcend;
And this decaying body that I pass through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

Raven they named me, but now they are gone,
I’m all alone since they both passed on;
Soon I will see them, it’s long overdue,
God grant me mercy for what I must do;

I beg for forgiveness as I let myself go,
Tears trickle down as I feel my heart slow;
Hopefully now I’ll get to see you,
So God grant me mercy for what I must do.


Tirzah Conway
~For the contest "Among the Dead"~


Details | Rhyme | |

Why Do We Preach Tolerance and Love


Tolerance and love is preached…  But,  at what price?
Too often we forget about Jesus’ sacrifice!

His death was because our sin counted against us.
He died on the cross because he truly loves us!

How dare we “cheapen” his work on the cross!
In today’s “political correctness..”  We have lost!

In the love and acceptance, we call it “inclusion.”
This has led many into a serious “confusion.”

Many want the loving side of God.  I can’t blame them!
But those who seek his holiness…  
Can you name them?

God is a God of love.  But he requires holy living too!
This is not a request but a command 
me and you!

If it’s tolerance and love you want…  Look no more!
You’ll be able to find it washed up on sin’s shore!

The people of Israel wanted “free love.” 
 Look what it got them!
Being slaves and captives, is what
 it taught them!

God is a loving God but is also as a consuming fire!
Living a righteous life is what he really desires!

“Without holiness…  No man shall see him.”
That’s why he sent Jesus, to the world beneath him!

Won’t you allow your sins to be totally forgiven?
Only Jesus can change the way
 you’ve been livin’!

He gives eternal life to those who
 diligently seek him!
The choice is yours to repent and receive him!

By Jim Pemberton    


Details | Villanelle | |

Funeral

His family pretended not to cry 
But both his sisters had no heart to spare; 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie. 

The blazing sun one summer day drew nigh; 
Its orange radiance it could not share. 
His family pretended not to cry. 

There was a man in hell beneath that sky-- 
Discerning now that care, like warmth, was rare. 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie. 

All that his soul could utter was a sigh; 
The shattered saints in Heaven said Lord's Prayer. 
His family pretended not to cry. 

Like sunlight, his disease bore down to dry 
Emotions spent without concern or care. 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie. 

Upon the desert ground he lay to die-- 
Addiction was much more than he could bear. 
His family pretended not to cry; 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie.


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Rhyme | |

A Painful Thanksgiving Night

A Painful Thanksgiving Night… As I sit here this Thanksgiving night I can do nothing else but write. My family’s in the other room So, why do I feel all this gloom? When we arrived late last night I thought for sure I would be alright. Even though it took everything in me To take that 3 hour drive you see. Each and every time I come All I want to do is run. Run away and never turn back A family bond I sure do lack. A mother’s love is what I crave But a hug and money is all she gave. My sisters and I we try and try To understand mother as the years go by. But nothing about her ways makes sense She’s cold and hard and always on the defense. Through the years she’s done much wrong But the love of my mother I still do long. Though the bad memories of her will never erase I prayed through my kids they might be replaced. Maybe they would chase away her pain And my love for her would not be in vain. When they’re around her it’s clear to see There’s nothing left, no mystery. Who she is; is what she’ll be All I see is a repeat of history. A history filled with hurt and pain To protect my children I must break the chain. This chain has bound me in so many ways It almost claimed my life - on several days. Lay


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

As my Mother Slips Away

I called my mother the other day- just to listen to her voice
She answered dear Steve – yes this is me- how are you this day
I said I was fine- it has been some time- I searched for more words to talk
She cantered a bit then came to a halt- as I began to say 
Mother dear- this is Mark- how are you today 
Mark she replied- I have a Mark- he was the oldest of three
How is school - are you making good grades- are you coming home real soon
I told her I would- If only I could- would she know me anyway
I visited my mother the other day- at a home for Alzheimer patients
Her stare in the air- made it be known- that she could not remember
I sat by her side- we nibbled on crackers- we looked out the window pane 
Then I was father- she told me she miss me –I cried a thousand tears
She reached for my hand- I did not resist- I was blessed to make her happy
How are you Tom- I said I was fine- The kids will be home soon
I told her it’s time- I must go home - I have to work tomorrow 
I took her hand- I’ll see you soon- Goodbye Steve she told me

As my Mother slips away today- how precious are my memories
For after this world –I can hardly wait- for my Mother to recognize me


Details | Tetractys | |

scattered shards

you left me all alone without a chance to pick up the scattered shards of my heart


Details | Senryu | |

Decayed Feelings

loving and caring words spoken without thought heart turns hard as rock
Show Me Contest Of Brian Strand 3rd Place Winner


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Sonnet | |

Sunken Tears

                                   He stood bravely before me 
                           with a medal of honor in his right hand
                        and a bandage of agony around his left knee
                           It seemed like he had struggled to stand,
                             his crutches lay useless on the ground
                                 I found it hard to understand why,
                                 a soldier in pain didn't even frown
                                      With a voice firm but dry
                                 his words shook me like thunder
                                "You're now the man of this house"
                                 he uttered like a worn-out hunter
                            quivering up my legs like a terrified mouse
                                 Drowning my mind through cold ears
                        he passed his sincere respect and sunken tears


Details | Rhyme | |

the love we had seemed so far away

i look to stars and wishes flew through space never to be heard again
fun to friends hearts do meld and break facing until time ends
this loop that plays and beats that syncopate become but a gem
pleasure a chest opened in surprise feeling no need to defend
galaxies away lonely planets  please keep me in mind
 distance could grow something fond or lost between the lines
gps my love you can see  its still where I  left it behind
thoughts fade away with life love lives forever in my rhyme

Im sorry, I wanted more,with  all this space between
disconnected and I still look to that day
we talked on the phone, our separate homes
the love we had seemed so far away

without air i couldnt breathe squeezed until I'm passing by
no water flow my skin would dry and I return to the sky
sunny days would blacken out, attracting need for desperate lies
to make up for the beauty lost from death slowly closing my eyes
that fire once sparking motion snuffed in huffs slipping away
dwifting I sway shaky grounds where once I sat easily and stay
upon my feet I still float drowning out all thoughts that stray
Tho these ends can come swift its worse to miss and hear you say

Im sorry, I wanted more,with  all this space between
disconnected and I still look to that day
we talked on the phone, our separate homes
the love we had seemed so far away

down the road,flying free, I ride the wave and hope for your return
through several seas and cloudy peaks, storms of sand, I will not turn
helpless to fate and future events, nothing prevents something to learn
  sights may not sore, nothing much looking more, isn't my concern
I hope the best and happyness is true to bless you, not just in dreams
we can meet when we sleep discussing life while sleeping seems
thanks for trying Im not exactly dying, banes of  sentient beings
real enough moving on is rough, i'll love you forever, writting my means


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Rhyme | |

God Gave Me A Talent I Didn't Use It

God Gave Me A Talent…  I Didn’t Use It!

God gave me a talent, but I chose to refuse it.
I had it…  But didn’t want to use it!

God also gave me the ability to use what was given.
But it just “didn’t fit in” with my style of livin’!

The talent he gave, he wanted for me to share...
Although I went to church…  I just didn’t care!

I was like someone who “buried the talent in the ground.”
When God came looking…  I was nowhere to be found.

I was embarrassed of what he gave and ashamed.
I didn’t want to talk about Jesus, 
or mention his name…

I wanted to be careful of who was my friend.
If I were to use God’s talent, I may easily “offend.”

We all have talents. God’s given them to each one.
He’s given to us his spirit and Christ Jesus his son!

All that we need to accomplish his purpose and goal…
He wants to use us!  He loves us more than we know!

Will you “bury” the talents that God’s given to you?
Or will you just “turn your back” like others do?

He has a divine will for us all.  A purpose and plan!
He waits for you… With an outstretched hand!

Won’t you allow him to use you HIS way?
Please do it now!  Listen to what HE has to say!

HIS blessings in your life is for you to receive!
Reach out to him now! Trust and believe.!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Lyric | |

The Night Walk.

                                                                                   **A WINNING POEM**


That night, my heart pleaded i should
Wait over and pass the night at grand pa's 
Old inn.
Enormous was my concern to reach home 
And see Constance La France.... the rambling poet.
About "create your own form, may be?"
I embraced the night and darkness mingled 
With my eyes;

Yonder are night workers,
Here and there they wander,
Seaching for who to plunder,
Oh! what a mighty wonder.
Look at that  supermarket,
And a man with a mask,
Gun and matchet,
He most be a burglar,
Oh! i must be undercover,
Or else i step into danger,
For the night is in dark anger.

"Ahh! ahhh!! ahhhh!!!" the cry of a victim,
Something must have wrought a cry,
Who will be the rescue?
For me, this night walk must linger.
Look at the police, having me as an 
Accomplice, they need my identity and money,
Yet yonder is the victim crying....

Look over there! drug users
Assembling in dark corners,
Swaying like feathers,
In the midst of their daily rituals,
That is never beneficial,
Oh! blind earth leading to an open death.
Group upon groups, stationed in their post,
Looking so malicious, looking so vicious, 
Brandishing weapons, ready for the slaughter,
Gun shoots clatter as a group fight starter.
Charles melody has seen wonder
And endless palaver.

Knives mingled with flesh, blood and bone,
Men eager and bold,
Heads bounce like ball,
Suddenly, calmness......
Gba! gba!! gba!!! another trigger's verdict?
Lord when will these pass over?
For i am likening to salt in water,
Never to calm and ponder,
The night walk seemed not to be over. 

For the night is in dark anger....


BY CHARLES MELODY (Lightening Ink)                  **14TH PLACE IN
 CONSTANCE LA FRANCE CONTEST,
 WITH THE THEME; "DEEP, DARK AND DRAMATIC".
===============================
The form of this poem is called,"stream of consciousness." 
i formed it so because the thought kept coming
 like a stream or river of consciousness in my mind,
i was conscious of the dangers i knew, especially in my Little
African village and the war that covered it.
For "Constance La France, the Rambling poet's contest.


Details | I do not know? | |

Visiting Emotion

Hello disappointment
You visit me pretty often these days
Wish I could say seeing you again was an amusement
I'm hoping your coming so much is just a faze
Mr. Disappointment you’re becoming the only feelings I feel anymore
The happiness has started to fade away 
I want our old life back where we were in love and a bore
Mr. Disappointment you make my life dark and gray
I miss the times where I would laugh and giggle for hours
I miss the times when I was the only one he wanted to be around
When you come around disappointment its tears and long hot showers
This love I used to feel is starting to be such a big let down
I don't want to be treated like this 
I have to show him I am worth caring about 
I miss our happy bliss
It's either he straighten up or finds a different route
Goodbye disappointment I want my baby’s kiss


Details | Free verse | |

Black widow murderer

Unwittingly sucked in
entangled within lifes cobwebs
poisoned wrapped and saved for later

Until satisfaction for hunger is needed
preyed upon with slow satisfaction and pride
despite the deceit and trickery of enticement

Faced with soulful persecution of honesty
reality and truth to be lost forever
whilst deceitful one is admired

Displayed devouring of specimen
No trial nor retribution, let others fall fate
alas before finished – destiny will strike

Poor black widow will choke
own untimely death from own grip of life
suffocating truths stifled now smothering


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Narrative | |

Mourning Over The Locust Plaque

Some sounds like the noise of bees
Hovering around the atmosphere
Or like rain drops on our roof tops,
I opened my round window
The window of my hut,
I wanted to know
Why my sleep won't mellow,
All i saw was sorrow
As the atmosphere turned green.
The cassava farm was over shadowed
Banana plantation feebled,
Apple orchard struggled
Yet their efforts stifled,
Lemon grass for mama's herb withered,
Rose flower shattered and our 
Groundnut farm tattered.
Suddenly,the green army fled,
Tears exuded from my eyes
As i sputtered in pain,
Mother filled with melancholy,
Father tore his heart in grief
Villagers hope captured and crippled,
So their travail displayed as
Everyone mourned over 
The locust plaque.....



BY: CHARLES MELODY (LIGHTNING INK).   


Details | I do not know? | |

CREEP

Stretching outwards,
  knees,
stretched tight;
  The wind beneath you,
  as you journey through this flight...

Soaring downward,
   releasing the free;
Moment suspended,
        only,
for you to see...

Shaking off the water,
   in the cold winter night;
  Floating, unnoticed;
As you focus upon the light...

    The treasure of not knowing,
the anticipation, of no belief;
   Slowly, through the darkness,
     you creep...

Note: This piece has had 310 reads, yet only 2 comments. can anyone tell me why?


Details | Rhyme | |

Blank Page

Too long have I been staring at this cruel blank page before me, My crazed, hysteric mind screaming and imploring I know there is a message that's dying to come out— I need to fill this confounded page without the slightest doubt! It's a simple predicament to manipulate, Into a mass of thought A futile attempt to insinuate, Weak hints are left with naught I sit here in silent desperation, What can fill this page? I slap myself in indignation, My eagerness becoming rage! Like roaches sporadically running from light My thoughts are but a haze The words I write just don't seem right, On this cruel blank page!


Details | Narrative | |

Tell Me Isn't So Bill Cosby

I have a very negative opinion
of most of the Hollywood crowd.
Many of them are rich snotty assholes,
clueless commie loving SOBs
who think they are international statesmen.
But I must admit I thought Bill Cosby
was a very decent human being.
WOW! Was I ever mistaken!
Tell me it isn’t so Bill Cosby!


Details | Quatrain | |

A Mother's Son......For Dustin Cunningham

A smile that warms her heart.
 With bright, shining Angel eyes.
Soon his whole world would fall apart.
 When he sadly watched as his Mother dies.

No one to listen or believe what he saw.
 For years the truth lie in wait.
Each passing day, the pain made him raw.
 And for his step-dad rose a new level of hate.

A troubled youth is what he'd come to be.
 Violence, drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain.
When the truth came out it didn't set him free.
 Watching for Santa as his Mother was slain.

After years, Justice was served for his Mother's death.
 But her kids would have no justice at all.
They would never hold her again so they remained bereft.
 She'll never be there for them to hug, kiss or call.

She loved her kids, especially her eldest son.
 She was taken too soon by a drunk, selfish bully.
He didn't care who he hurt or what he did to anyone.
 Its not something her children could understand fully.

Her son now sits in his own personal Hell.
 Taken away from society to pay for his unrelated crimes.
So now he stays in that six by six prison cell.
 Hoping that he'll heal in a matter of time.

I'm here for him and I remain his friend.
 I wait for that shine to return to his now haunted eyes.
For that smile to brighten from his sad, dull grin.
 I'm someone who can love him and quiet his cries.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Poetic PRESCRIPTION:

                               NO REFILLS---Dr. P. Soupenstein
                               Rx *7563287      BEC 11/11/11      
Seems to me,
what you need 
for healing this condition...
is something real
you can feel
to ease this mean affliction

Patient please
accept from me
this poetry prescription:

      ( <_____PUSH & TURN_____> )

Take ONE positive poem
Read ORALLY 2 times BY MOUTH -----
Every 4-6 HOURS AS NEEDED for the pain 

Blues and belly aches will dissipate
resulting in healthy energy gains 

                  WARNING!!!
-Alcohol may intensify the effect of being drowsy 
attempting to read while operating machines... 
will cause you to drive lousy.


Details | Narrative | |

VIOLATED

 HELP! HELP!
 She is sinking,
 Sinking into the abyss of despair.
 Her brain is striken And her mind is stifled.
 She has been enervated.
 Her integrity is being manipulated,
 Irrationality acts as spring board to moral decadence,
 Opacity then entangles her efficiency
 While her eminence sleeps.
 She became vulnerable.
 Poor thing, she is raped, maimed and looted.
 Has she not been violated?
 Does her plight warrants a revolution?
 However, she demonstrated.
 She shrilled,
"No!", "No!"
 She pleaded with her predators.
 All these were to no avail
 Her future seems gloomy
 As the predators succeeded in orchestrating yet another tragedy.
 Engulfed in this evident realm of adversity.
 She sits and ponders
 With tears flooding her miserable cheeks.
 She then cried,
 HELP! HELP!
 I am sinking,
 Sinking into the abyss of despair.


Details | Haiku | |

Depression

sealed so deep inside
buried in an wretched soul 
huge fields of friction


©Ellie Daphne van Stralen

HAIKU 101 FOR NEWBIES TO HAIKU AND/OR POETRY SOUP CONTESTS 
Contest Judged: 11/23/2012 12:00:00 AM	
Sponsored by: Charles Henderson

Place	 Poem	 Poet

1	 Depression Ellie Daphne van Stralen


Details | Rhyme | |

Dialogue of Souls


Best of friends, for countless years,
we had the best of times.
Now as my eyes are filled with tears,
your soul to Heaven climbs.
The path we take, not always clear,
I feel so lost without you here.
Your last words, prophetic now,
“I’ll be home soon”- you knew somehow.
You left me here, I’m so alone,
but I dreamed Heaven had a phone.
We talked all night, you fell asleep,
I held the line to hear you breathe…  

 

   Copyright © 2013


Details | Haiku | |

haiku

flies trapped
inside rice jar
I ask him to leave


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Narrative | |

Reminiscence

Prologue:
For whoever think story telling is that easy,
Would properly from this hilarious incident,
scene or whatever you might call it, would know is not.

                             *****************

Just some couple of months ago, I was invited
by a friend who knows me too well, back then in 
school as a funny guy and story teller and so he taught this
night, that his grand pa (who is a famous story teller 
of his village) had fall sick, I would be in a better position
to cover up for his father's so called responsibility
to his people. "For he (my friend's father, Williams) is a good story teller.
But what about me who has never faced 
the ample crowd with my 'cripple' tale unless sharing it with friends?" I mumbled.

In the middle of this enigma, my friend, John called me to the hot seat
to tell my tale to the unbearable crowd of adolescence. 

"God why am I here this day... But it shouldn't have been this day" I retorted.
The barbarian noise from the seats infront of me showed that truly I was 
in the middle of something and not lost...

"Uncle tell us a story!... Brother tell us a story!" the crowd shouted.

This day, I needed a free moment but they couldn't let me be.
"Once upon a time" they heard me said and they all resited.
" I am sorry, I am sorry let me restart it all over again".

Now in old man's voice, I told my tale before them:

"Once upon a time,
In our mothers' womb, when she
Ate, we ate. Goodnight!"

They all cannot but burst to laughter while I stood and walked to the room with my 
shame.
                                   
                                *****************

Anything after good night means nothing more till the next day.
Maybe I escaped the night by dissatisfying the emotions of those children,
in that scene, what about my friend? 
"Have I not brought shame to John's family? Did I do the 
right thing that full moon night?". My heart beats!

                               *****************

Epilogue:
Not even do the audience remember or care to ask me: (In kid's voice)
"What if my mother do not eat while in my pregnancy, what will happen to her?" or 
probably care to tell me: (Back to old man's voice) "What lesson they have derived from 
the tale before their departure... Oh! No sorry, my bashful departure from their sight." 

Note: The tale: "Once upon....Goodnight!" is a Haiku form of poetry.  
 














Details | Free verse | |

The Devil Walks

The devil walks 
gets tired
and sits,
and while the devil sits
the devil picks up a tired fruit
rotting, and with jagged nails he peals
slowly, the tender fruit bruising
and he tastes it, smacking his dried lips
and the devil eats
decayed fruit and sour wine	                 nothing lush and sating
then the devil rests
and resumes his walk,
and later the devil sits again
rubs his feat
and goes to bed
and in the morning
he breaks his fast on curses and lies           nothing so filling as figs and nuts
and begin the devil’s walk again,

his walk
on the road our thoughts paved
where all that grows is bad and unwell
to the cross our words built
where flames dance and all is unwell
and he is condemned
upon christening
upon the hearing of his name
and the wobbling of his first steps
to walk a road less traveled,
to be the leader
of our very own crusade
armed with words
against himself
to see him burn,

our crusade of one
and many
on roads first paved upon his birth
to bring the devil down.

The devil walks
The devil eats
and pelted by our stones
He does but sleep
For what we sow
The devil reaps

and there is justice in punishment
there is reward in reckoning
there is bitterness in my mouth
as I say these words
and pity
              the devil
his due.


Details | Quatrain | |

Moment of Madness

Vultures of doubt hover in my mind
Death beckons me
Live like a Stranger in my abode
Naught for me to live

Sparrows tweet around
On the soil beside me
Bend down, I sip water
Made muddy by rain

Came out of my walls
Tears flow down my eyes
Quench my parched throat
My hearts start beating

Feel light and tranquil
Sky is my home
Birds are my friends
Dogs line up to seek food

Push all away, I laugh aloud
My plate was empty a moment ago
Brimming with madness
My hands are full


Details | Narrative | |

Physically and Mentally Abuse

I was born in a world of poverty and soiled life of a third world country
The way I lived till I was five years of age was walls of boundary
These walls had towers of guards that had no heart or care
If a child would try to climb the wall they lose their life I swear

Father had drank and threatened my mother with a knife
My father lost his job and wife and that was the hardship of life
He stopped my mother from taking off with me in her arm
Hoping that my father would ignore and left me be with no harm

When my father went off to drink one night and came home with rage
My brothers stood by my crib and took a beating that set up the next stage
My father had woken up to three scared children half starved and in pain
His final words as he walk away from the orphanage gate live life do not go insane

I was still a baby in the orphanage; the caretakers did not really care about the babies
They stole items and materials those wicked men and maternal evil ladies
They starved all the babies because it cost a lot to keep them alive
As a child of that age I could feel the sins and greed that gave out bad vibes

I was ignorant about what I drank and ate, as I see white maggots move in my bottle
As I see them move I thought about how they were playing and some were hostel
They ate each other to keep each other alive in a manner that took me by surprise
In the back round I hear others throwing things with sounds of painful cries

I got very strong at a young age I was able to start pulling myself up over the cage
My feelings were to see my brothers with strong lungs that I cried out of rage
My two brothers came to see me and sneak food into my crib
The caretaker would find the food in my hands as they grabbed it and hit me on my ribs

As painful as it was I kept eating the food with blood in my mouth as it was instinct
I sometimes laid in my crib dazed and confused with smell of death so distinct
With all my might I kept myself strong and climb the small wall
I finally was old enough to get out of the building and I could hear my brothers call

With tears of joy with short legs that ran as fast as my heart
I ran to my brothers arms and held their hands to have a new start
I grew stronger everyday but more things came into my life in a manner of dismay
If my brothers stay by my side I could smile and everyday their would be okay



Details | Lyric | |

Miles

I write
my late night revelations
paint an image so clear-
so precise-
as if fine-tuned with a microscope.
I see the truth.
I now realize that what I need-
I want-
is YOU.
I don't know how I am going to make you see,
make you feel...
I need to make you know.
A simple touch is all I need
to delve into your mind and infect you.
But how to reach you?
You are hidden far away
within your own mind,
in maze of your own design.
Between us locked doors and endless traps,
mountains,
valleys,
rivers, lakes, oceans,
miles and miles of 
impassible terrain that keeps me apart,
keeps me from you!
We are two universes set to collide-
not to be destroyed,
but merge into one.
Set to collide, but keep missing our mark.
This is unbeknownst to you.
I keep the secrets within me.
How much longer can I wait-
how much longer until my silence
consumes me?
Until you break me?
I am deserted, alone,
left in desolation.
You are the answer to the questions,
the key to my freedom.
But you cannot reach me.
And you do not know what you are.
How much longer til my time runs out?


Details | Rhyme | |

There's A Web of Temptation And Sin

There’s a Web of Temptation and Sin!

There’s a web of temptation and a lot of sin…
That brings slavery and a strong bondage within!

Throughout this land, there’s an evil surge!
While many lives, seem to be getting “submerged!”

Being submerged, into a life, that many believe in.
They become perverted, but want all to receive them!

The “love and acceptance,”
 that many desire.
Puts them on a tightrope!  A very thin wire!

As the web of temptation and sin begin to grow.
It brings a bondage that damages the soul!

They may want to have “love and acceptance.”
But in their hearts, needs to be a godly repentance!

May the holiness of a righteous God be stirred!
That all will come back, to the truth of his word!

His son Jesus, came to the cross! He bled and died!
That through him, our lives can be totally sanctified!

Only the power of God, can bring a needed restoration!
He gives to one and all… 
 A heavenly invitation!

Whosoever will… Come now!  And accept him!
Won’t you take the time, to really know him?

Don’t allow the web of life to destroy 
and overcome you!
Come to Jesus now!  He really does
 LOVE YOU!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Tyburn | |

I'm Going Nuts

<                                          insane
                                            constrain
                                            domain
                                            remain


                        asylum housing      -    insane   constrain
                        longing for rescue  -    domain   remain


Details | Rhyme | |

I Have Time For Church But NO Time For You


I’m so busy with church… I don’t have much time… But God forgives me…. So is this a crime? I go each Sunday, and do “the church thing.” I’m just too busy, to really do anything! I’m there on time. I try not to be late. I even give my ten percent into the offering plate! I bring my Bible, and wear a suit and tie. I sing the worship songs, shout and cry. Do you need any help or prayer? Please wait in line…. I’m busy right now! And don’t have the time! I’ll direct you to the pastor to make an appointment… Perhaps he’ll pray and give you an anointment! This is what I offer! And the best I can do!. I just don’t have the time for people like you! Maybe I’ll see you again. Maybe I won’t… But giving my time for others? I simply don’t… I’m trying to look good for my “Sunday appearance.” Anything less, would be a “new experience.” I hope you’ll forgive me for saying “excuse me.” Maybe I’ll find another time for you to be with me…. By Jim Pemberton


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

The phone rings innocently.
Who is at the other side?
Could be no one then yet a peculiar feeling tells
me it is the bearer of bad news.
Still I answer hoping I am wrong.
My mother is ill, trapped between two worlds; 
the worlds of fear and courage.
My ears hear every word but my mind has created a 
sudden barrier that nothing seems to
penetrate like some sort of
steel web of unwanted denial.
Fear floods my body like a torrent
river flow, eroding strength
and stability.
How much longer can I bare it?
Never it seems but hope still glimmers 
regardless of how dim.
Miles are between us, 
I feel numb and unexpectedly lost.
Where am I?
It’s certainly not here in the presence 
of fallen angels.
The bell of hope strikes a sharp note creating a 
gentle chime awaking my
senses to the news,
they are sharpened making
the fear of loss suddenly
commanding, corrupting my
inner strength making it weak.
I continue to listen all the 
while my body is screaming
in protest.
The voice stopped, I hung up,
the pain and fear never lessened.
Time went by all the while my
mind was constantly in a state
of anguish and grief.
Endless stories were created,
each one worse than the last.
My family begun to shatter like
a broken mirror, reflecting only
the scars of misery and needless
hurt.
Hope still glimmered but appeared
distant and out of reach.
My mind grew tender, endless misery
has eaten away at my last thoughts
of happiness.
The sting of fear created heartache
for the bond between mother and child
was nearly severed,
severed by the hands of
an unwanted deity.
A deity of life itself.



Details | Villanelle | |

The Ending Yet Not

The time has came to an end,
My heart is beating fast,
I want to embrace you,
For ever you shall be mine.

Why is love so hard?
My tears fall and fall,
Memories will remain in my mind,
I don't like this ending,
I wanted happy ending.

All I wanted is a small house,
With a happy family,
I wanted to be what I didn't,
See with my parents.

God why is he fading off,
He is everything I got!
I searched hard,
To find the one I want.

I feel rushed to obtain my mind,
The words just keep on,
Coming in rush,
As if you are leaving,
At this moment and on,

I want to talk to my best friend,
To look in your eyes is hard,
My emotions run,
My tears cant stop!

To say goodbye is hard,
To have no one to turn to,
When I am happy and sad,
When you are alone,
I want to be by your side,
Every where you go,
I want to be there with,

My heart has the deepest cut,
I want you to be close to me,
Like we were before,
I feel angry with God!!
Why are you leaving me?

This isn't the vision I had in mind,
Best friends and lovers forever apart,
I wanted you to be the one,
To hold my hand and get married.


Details | I do not know? | |

Let's Get Lost

She was a 10 years old
When her life was sold
He hurt her in ways unimaginable
He may have not have been her father
But he was her brothers
He told the 10 year old to get in the bed
Or something would happen to her 1 month brother
The bed was cold
The springs were rusted
Her heart was always filled with love and care
But after that night
She wouldn't dare share
The 10 year old went to school the next day
Without anything to say
Her friends found out
And shunned her out
She told an      
The police were called
She was taken from her mother
Who at that time wouldn't believe her
She stayed at a family members house
A couple days went by
Then she was returned home
The bad guy was found
She still has nightmares to this day
And she has this to say:
"I'm sorry for doing what I knew was wrong
All I wanted was for my brother to be safe."


This is a true story, It's MY story. I hope that all you readers unerstand that I still blame 
myself for what happened that night. I DON'T want your sympathy, I just need friends who 
actually care. Thank You For Reading Let's Get Lost. . . . . .


Details | Alliteration | |

Wasteland of Shame

Bound by blame, broken by blight,
Scarred by a stolen satire,
nuzzling necrophiliacs within the night.

Tangled in torment, tied untamed,
blemished by the blasphemy,
of never speaking your name.

Shackled in sin, shredded sovereignty,
dealing death’s doses,
murdering you and me.

Cuffed with candor, calling our crimes,
to an impetuous enslavement,
tortured through time.

Set me free, to flee this fool’s game,
where we're always left wandering,
in this wasteland of shame.


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Ballade | |

Sad girl rising


Sad girl rising

Let me tell you about this girl I know
My cousin, this girl be
Her life has been so very sad
But how wonderful is she
She was a wild child, till she married
And had her first born child
When she found out that his brain was damaged
It really drove her wild.

She took the Doctor through the courts
Then fought for ten long years
To get the money she deserved
And she cried so many tears
She gained a million pound at last
To help her with the lad
And yet the damage it was done
And it really drove her mad.

Her and her hubby cared for he
And gave their lives to him
It was a twenty four, seven job
But at times it got real grim
She would do just anything
To make his life more sweet
But when she got that Parkinson’s
She was close on to defeat

But no, she struggled with the odds
And though it’s ten years on
Never does this girl give up
When all her hope seems gone
She smiles, and carries on with courage
Like I’ve never seen before
She’s something kind of wonderful
She’s a hero, that’s for sure.

30 July 2o13 @ 1043hrs.


Details | Lyric | |

Elysium Dream of Love

I close my weary eyes
Holding onto the hope
Of not having to cope
Not a mintue longer
Without you by my side
Not expierencing
The warm look in your eyes
The tingling rush of your finger tips
That would grip my hair tight
To stop you from slipping into the night
Biting  your bottom lip
As a pinch to yourself
To see if it was real
The dream of love we felt
And now that you are gone
I only wish to die
Your image fades from my mind
Sometimes I see it clear,
The sun is skillfully stroking it set in the sky
As my feet float down the road across the tuscan country side
I ever so gently sense the wildy grown wheat
Tickling these troubled lines engraved in the palm of my hand
I playfully pick one out of the land and pluck the grains
I look up and in the distance is where she waits
But there she remains peacefully strolling through the calming field
In a white cotton dress that tails off in the wind and
wearing a small confident smile that makes my yearning heart yield
Whispering in my ear that soon I will make it home
But my Life's journey must continue down this God paved road
I awake with the longing of her, But with so much to do
I need God's strength for one more day to get through


Details | Rhyme | |

Runaway mother

A woman, a mother
as a little girl
she couldn't wait to become
But its gotten to hard now 
back to a little girl
she wants to run


Details | Lyric | |

It's Not Over

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness 
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss

I want to carry you through the night… 
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears… 
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years… 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night… 
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) 
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…

I promise you a tranquil reality 
I want to stray with you tonight 
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us 
Pure, incredible delight 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…


Details | Light Poetry | |

Depression

          Depression

       Why do I feel like this inside?
Why do I keep all my tears inside?
        Why can't I just fit in?
   To belong to a world,that will except me for whom I am within.
      Why is it so hard to say "I can"?
       Is it because my mind is always in la la land?
    I can't really help the things I do,
I'm mad at the world for what I'v been through.
  No one can seem to understand, that I am what I am!
    I know that I have plenty of disability,
that keeps me from being the person I want to be.
    It hold me back from the things I want out of life.
   I just can't seem to get things right.
    It's so hard for me to see my inner beauty,
when I feel like the world is out to get me!
    I don't want to feel so isolated within,
            I just can't let you in.
      Stop telling me that it's going to be ok.
    You don't know what goes on in my mind,
  and why It's keeps taking me back in time.
  Replaying all the things that happend in my life,
    like I'm a walking recorder device.
      I just can't grasp the real meaning of life.
 I just can't mange to make mine right!
 Why can't I just get over the pain?
To move on, and get away from the past that keeps holding me back.
  I want to feel loved, for who I am.
 That they loved me for me, and not what they want me to be!
I know who I am, I am what you see.
   I can' comperehend sometimes, I can't seem to take things in.
I'm mad at myself, because I'm lost within....
      This is what you call depression!


Details | I do not know? | |

Ice And Snow

When the cold winds blow

It can freeze your soul

The feel of ice in your veins

Hoping you can unthaw again

When the snow storm is strong and you can't see

When life is mixed up how can it be

The wind and ice strong and cold

Like the sorrows we behold

The unthawing of the snow

Is like the unthawing of the soul

Each little snowfake of our life

Make up some of our sorrow and strife

So as the drops melt away

And the ice can no longer stay

Let the winds blow our sorrow

Into a new tomorrow


Details | Narrative | |

Christmas Rebels (2).

But night’s bell came with tears and without love,
As our bamboo door talked,
“KNOCK! KNOCK!!”
Before my voice could speak,
Legs ruined down my door,
Then eyes in different heights
In the starry night like 
Torch lights… attacked 
Me with their voices.
They came in mass,
Some brandishing cutlass,
Some matchets, guns and arrows.
Gang upon gangs,
Displaying their flags,
Blood stained, tattered, hair, shaggy.
They held human heads for their 
Oracles of war.
They were muttering songs as if 
Forced to sing,
They had leaves and grasses in the 
Middle of their mouths, they were mostly teens, 
They were the Hausa rebels… 
“Wait! Wait!! Wait!!!
Where are the bells?
Is this day not Christmas?”
I was asking myself,
A short tick man came out of the mass,
Not looking like human,
He looked backed at the rest,
Feeling like the best.
He weakened my hear drums 
By the manner of his question,
“Hausa or Birom?”.
To send my religion to the bottom?
Whom for this day, is Christmas? 
And sweet Messiah’s Calvary at Golgotha?
I wasn’t prepared for that, 
So the truth came out like a blast
“Birom!!”.
“Yee! Yee!! Yee!!!
Enemy tribes” they shouted 
Like savage talking drums.

(To be continued in the next, same Poem).


Details | I do not know? | |

If your not the part of the solution your the part of the problem

I’m from the hood where the politicians don’t do squat for the poor/  
I represent the modern day Black man/ 
The Black educated politician and activist that care about only one Damn 
thing when the stuff hit the fan! 
“They Damn Self!” 
It’s like a wise man once said “Never let the left hand know what the right 
hand do” meaning keep all of the right hands right and all of the left hands 
left/ 
Ever since then the tradition has been eating off the next mans death/ 
It’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder whether I should go buy 
books or go buy a T.V,/Then again I wonder what’s wrong with these rap artists calling us
window 
shoppers like we nothing!  
Then them same rap artist turn around and beg us to go buy they C.D/ 
“Buy Black Owned!!” 
“Keep the Money in the Hood!” 
That’s all you hear/ 
We tried and it went/ 
Now at the same time I’m behind in my rent/ 
I hate the usage of the word Negroes! 
But when I look at these new condos being built all around Harlem/ 
I realize Negroes got a problem/ The rent not affordable/  
They go do what they wanna do/ just to get Negroes out of Harlem/ 
What happened to all the great MALCOLMS, MARTINS, and MARCUS/ 
Cause all we got now is a bunch of fake FARRAKHANS, SHARPTONS 
and BARRAKAS!/ nah just kidding!Hopefully not my last hope BARAK 
OBAMA! But I wonder when it’s all go stop!/ 
Cause when I look at my peoples now a days/ 
All I see is  
“I see DISASTER!! 
And realize “Yeah we still SLAVES”/ 
But the sad part is 
WE THE MASTER!!     (“let’s stop enslaving our selves”)  
By Lester Marrow


Details | Rhyme | |

Guilty

Like tires in mud,
Like a knife in my chest,
The visions haunt me,
Until I cannot rest.

I hear those voices,
Crowding in my mind,
Fretting over my words and acts,
Afraid of what they find.

Oh the voices do not rest,
Until they have torn me apart,
The visions, voices like knives,
Driven through my heart.

They are always with me,
Morning,  noon, and night,
They may never disappear, 
No matter how I fight.

To the voices I beg,
To please leave me be,
For the visions to stop,
To the voices I plea.

I beg to stop,
And as for mercy,
I am to confess,
That I, 
Am guilty.


Details | Monoku | |

Yellow

Yellow not him I say...cyber bully stole my poem away



"The Colors Have It Contest" of Russell Sivey
Written by Carol Brown  
03/01/2012
5th Place Winner


Details | Rhyme | |

Unreality

Am I alive, or dreaming? Sometimes I just can’t tell. If I’m asleep pinch me quickly, and awake me form this hell. If I’m awake give me something to make my eye’s dreary - That I may rest peaceably while the storm rages on in its fury. Am I Alive or dreaming? How can one tell, When logic has lost meaning and reality as well? Or… When tragedy strikes near your tent - Family and friends mourn. A loved one has passed, And you’re the only one not torn. You’ve become nonchalant by default - Frozen in a subconscious state Only a numb soul remains once reality’s escaped! Am I alive, or dreaming? Or am I dreaming that I’m alive? For what it’s worth, can your answers reverse - This cycle of my demise?


Details | Free verse | |

DECEPTION

Hand in hand and
Eyes to eyes,
Promises unending
As if from the heart,
Pregnancy struck
Then hand out of hand
And eyes apart from eyes
Leaving the girl in stark anguish...


BY: CHARLES MELODY (LIGHTNING INK).


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Imagism | |

Unlucky I ams

I am a 2 gig desktop computer in the 21st century,
A phone model that’s just been phased out,
How can I convince the youngsters that I also had my days?
I am a Tata Nano right in the midst of a formula one race
Dwarfed and outshined

I am that athlete who finishes fourth in a photo finish
Yes just outside the podium positions
A toilet tissue,
Doing the worst job there is out there
I can’t win can i?

I am that politician sitting in opposition for fifty years
I may never attain pole position
Feel for that frail and ageing prince,
For his mother, The Queen keeps going strong
He may never reach promisedland

I am that sad student,
Repeating a paper because of that elusive single mark
You know I’m that hurdler
The one who led a final only to stumble at the last obstacle
I tried basketball
But every shot I tookwas an air ball

I am that mother who can’t identify the father of my child
I am that teenage boy who’s just lost a fight to a little girl
I’m that fellow who forgets an umbrella on a rainy day
Think of that performer acting in an empty arena
The comedian whose jokes are dry

I’m a broken guitar
I’m a cracked mirror
I’m three legged chair
I’m but a leaking roof
Life is not at all fair 
Everything seems aloof

I was small league star
But I barely leave a mark in top flight
I was a big fish in a small pond
I’ve become small fish in a big sea
Out of my depth but I will not stop trying

Yes I missed many penalties in my life 
Hit the post when my team was down
Had my fair share of own goals
I cut myself when I shave
But that doesn’t stop me

I will hit the reset button
Reboot the system if necessary
I have a master plan
A wonder drug and it will work
Or will it?


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Lanterne | |

Words of SILENCE On the Beach

A footstep so smooth;
A word so candid, yet strong:
A mind, so full of empathy,
came straight up to my heart:
Knock, knock, knock, are we there?
Or, are we still strangers?

The long pile of stories of life,
Unfolded, into your lap, with tears —
Some horrid, some slimy, but all true.
Solutions and steps were put forth:
Knock, knock, knock, are we there?
Or, are we still strangers?

Moments of silence, in tears,
Emotions riding high,
Darkness so deep, fathomless;
Keyboard, whispers, brought hope. 
Life sprouts, naturally,
With light, and manure — right, 
Springing from words of wisdom:
Knock, knock, knock, are we there?
Or, are we still strangers?

A ray of light sprouted, as did life,
From within me; and my words
Grew wings of fire, and sprung
Right onto paper, as poems and news.
Alas, the thrill lasted not long —
Black venom of the fire of Satan
Swirled around me, eating me up: 
Knock, knock, knock, are we there?
Or, are we still strangers?

The silence, construed as disregard,
The lag and the arguments;
Words of war, and then — SILENCE.
Search, search, search…
Life went off action; 
No sound, no light, no life. 
SILENCE, SILENCE, SILENCE. 
Knock, knock, knock, are we there?
Or, are we — after all — strangers?


Details | Villanelle | |

The Solitude

My loneliness bleeds but is not stained,
What has become of this light of day?
A solitude of thoughts so mixed, so pained.

The comfort of the night on darkness rained,
To wander the streets with naught to say,
My loneliness bleeds but is not stained.

To walk down the alley, narrow and tear-drained,
Watching for a sign but leading me astray,
A solitude of thoughts so mixed, so pained.

This hurt that covers, a veil ingrained,
Finds me getting on an empty subway,
My loneliness bleeds but is not stained.

Travelling to nowhere by fate ordained,
Until the distance feels furthest away,
A solitude of thoughts so mixed, so pained.

To undergo the sound and suffering so sustained,
 I find myself too hesitant to pray,
My loneliness bleeds but is not stained.
A solitude of thoughts so mixed, so pained.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Think About How Ths Country Has Changed



Over the years, I think about how this country has changed.
It’s like “right vs. wrong” has been “rearranged.”

We’re told that a separation from man and God exists.
Yet the handiwork of God is in our very midst!

Rather than seeking to obey God’s word and rules.
Our courts have turned this country into “fools.”

The whole idea of marriage is often very confusing.
Many don’t think about the wrong path they’re choosing!

Government often passes laws that provide a “moral instability.”
We’ve often lost our respect for a Godly type of morality.

As people’s lives get filled with lusts of various kinds.
Many are wandering around with very confused minds!

“One nation under God” is too often under attack.
As this country is quickly “getting off track!”

If “change” is what you want, or what you’re looking for.
Think about the purpose of life you’re meant for!

The direction you need to travel,
 is to the Lord in prayer.
Wherever you are...  
He will meet you there!

Christ alone removes any “God or state” separation.
By his shed blood and his gift of salvation!

There’s no Supreme Court near heaven’s gates!
There’s a God who loves who, and anxiously waits!

He longs for you to receive his life eternal.
So he can put your name in heaven’s journal!

Won’t you allow his love to cleanse you within?
And experience the atonement for every sin!

May the Lord bring to us all a healing and restoration!
He is the only true hope for our great nation!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Lyric | |

I need a friend

I need a friend right now
I need guidance
I need someone to show me how
How to just be.

I thought I was happy
I thought I liked me
I guess I am not the person
I thought I could be. 

I need a friend right now
someone to share my thoughts
someone to be my sounding board
someone who understands me
someone who realizes
I should not be ignored.

I know the truth that lies beneath the beauty and the smiles
I know the truth

But you see,
it is much easier to live a life of denial
You smile and grin,
laugh and pretend.

Oh, but still remains the dark behind the light
I know the truth.

One day the closet door will open
One day the make up will fade
and the world will know 
what I have known all along

You can't hide your pain
you can't store your fears
you can't bury your sorrows
you can't change what's done
you can't pretend your okay anymore
you can't be that person everyone wants you to be

The mask has been ripped from your face
and the world now knows
what I have known all along
you don't know how to live this life alone.
you are broken and scared
and fear that there
is no way for repair

The damage has been done
your life incomplete
you have been stripped
of all your strength and beat
you are left broken and scared
and no one is there.

You are alone 
and I have known this all along
I know the truth
I know I can't be alone

I need a friend right now.


Details | Elegy | |

Sweet Sorrow

I have hid mine heart,
Within a prison cell,
Dark and cold,
Whose key, only you hold.

I have buried mine memories,
Within the sands of time,
None is bare,
Those secrets, only you and I 
share.

From thenceforth do we part,
From light and into darkness 
do I tarry,
Into perdition,
E'en to the close of my time.

The memory of you, doth 
linger,
E'en as the flowers, sprout on 
graves,
And as the sun, doth shine,
E'en on the viper,

So I, e'en through the curse of 
time,
Tarry forth, 
E'en to the sunset of my life,
These memories, a constant 
companion.


Details | I do not know? | |

mama

mama how do i tell you its bad again
how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt
they want me to fall
to fall from the top of buildings 
and not get up
but don't worry mama
i plan to shut them up

mama how do i explain how the pain has returned
all you wanted was me to be better
i tried and tried and tried and tried
but in the end, the crazy won
they drive me crazy to no end
i want to make it stop 
but don't worry mama
i have a plan

mama i cant tell you how it feels
to be sunken to the depths of earth
angels are soaring above me
but their happy gazes hurt
i need this incessant chatter to go
to hurt me, to hate me 
it all feels so real
but don't worry mama
it wont soon

mama i can see the look in your eyes
it hurts me too that this is goodbye 
cant you see this is the only way 
for the voices to vanish but my body stay
goodbye and farewell 
ill miss you so much
but don't cry mama
ill be better now


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Didactic | |

A Poem (Hebrews 13:5)

Anger consumed within me,

Rage passed continually by.

A mixture of blue and red,

Blinding the dim light inside me.

 

Once the light was like a flaming torch,

Such a torch that can be compared to the sun.

But even the sun rests, the flames can be vanquished

Only the night was witnessed until the morning dawned.

 

I was created to love you.

This was the only purpose,

But I chose to reject you.

How foolish of me to compose.

 

Given many chances to accept,

Welcome the love higher than my mother,

I was in an asylum locked by my choice.

"No more!" I uttered. 

 

A glowing door suddenly appeared,

"Who could it be?" I questioned.

It opened; a figure so bright glanced at the corner,

"My child, fear not," the figure mentioned.

 

I took his offering hand.

Richness of everlasting springs of water,

The right hand of infinite life.

We departed blissfully as He catered

 

"Do not sow any longer, for you are here with your Father,"    

I began to weep as a baby weeps for his mother.

"My child, for you were once lost but now have been found."

A final tear inching below, the Devil will no longer bother.


Details | Ballad | |

the poverty blues song

I've got damp on my walls and cobwebs in the hall
got a rat in the kitchen
where the cockroach crawl.
I got holes in my shoes
where my toes peep through
I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

I got a crack in my bathtub and bed bugs in my bed
I got things crawlin through my hair
that make me scratch my head

Got piles of bills collected by my door
the one's I should have paid a year or two or more.
I try to get myself sorted
but always seem to lose
I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

Guitar.

I got trouble in my hovel
and the place could do with a good clean
I may not be superman
but  I try the best I can
I just find things so hard to do
Guess I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

Some people call me lazy
but I sure ain't crazy
I;m a man alone in the world what can I do
I got a bad case of the poetry blues.

I'd love to meet a girly
who could cook and clean
with lots of money
so I could live my dreams
one thet would say I do
so I no longer got to sing the poverty blues
say I no longer got to sing the poverty  blues uesssssssssssssss.

Peter Dome copyright. 2012.


Details | Free verse | |

Talking Frank

she hid 
like a little mouse 
with windows barred 
to block the light 
and peering eyes 

she grew 
in that sunless 
cage 
from adolescent dreams 
to a women's longing 

fought with insecurity 
penning her 
hopes 
on humanity
that had drifted away 

she wrote 
with anticipation 
filled with yearning 
to understand 
such cruelty 

with no answers 
she searched 
why 
what had they done 
would they ever know 

in the night they came 
with weapons fixed 
swinging slurs 
to wound 
her soul 

they gave her a star 
and a ticket 
to take a train 
new adventures 
from which she'd never 
return 

the star soon replaced 
by numbers 
carved into 
tender skin 
and she cried 
for her father 

she was the child 
of her mother 
and of her mother's mother
she was the remains 
of sanity 

she stared at the camp 
not a children's thing 
with ponies and playgrounds 
but with gas chambers 
and crematoriums
and she cried 

for herself 
for her family 
and for the world 
as they led her inside 
she penned last words 

still trying 
to understand 
through her tears 
but there was to be 
no understanding

and in the end 
they laid her bones 
uncerimoniously in pits 
filled to the brim 
with lost dreams 
lost lives 
and failed hope...




Details | Narrative | |

A missive from the damned to whoever have a little time to spend with this nonsense - Page 1

And so, I have made up my mind, once more.
I have decided to depart, to bid this husk farewell.
In order to do that, I must save coins if I desire to save myself.
For with it, I will be able to buy my ticket out here to a more blessed realm or the eternal void. Either way, I will be winning.
I mustn't, any longer, feel the starvation of affection and no more I shall be fed by the crumbs of fleeting joy they toss at me.

Thoughts of finishing are always in my mind, flooding it, making hard to go day by day, making hard to sleep, to have hope.
I fail to see where the hope is, I like to think that it can be find inside of one's heart.
But even so, I think I am mistaken, and when I glance at myself in the mirror, I quickly lose any spark of what could-be hope.

With the aid of the metallic sling, I shall leave this husf behind, heavy with its sins and sorrows, to no more nourish hatred.
For it does only to hinder my advance towards elevation.
With my metallic sling, I shall pierce, first, my heart, where lies the sorrow, then, my mind, where resides the sins.
Whilst the life in me start to wane, regrets I will not have, when my consciousness fade, my spirit will be no longer be trapped inside this imperfect cage of flesh.
Being free, my spirit shall roam far and beyond to, before, unseen places by men, to  untouched places by men.

Another day,someone inquired me "Are you happy now?" and for that I just said "Yes". How else could I have responded if not with a lie?
How could I tell them that I yearn for a premature closure in order to stop thinking and feeling but I also yearn for love.
"I am not absolutely happy, as per say, but I do suffer less when I am asleep" I could never say that to anyone...


Details | I do not know? | |

On The Edge Of Sanity

The heart is heavy, and the burden won’t be borne away, I seek the sun beyond the 
weeping moon, among the mourning stars, I seek for hope in the faces of those 
forsaken spirits, I moan silently, wailing for the diseased dream, and the rain softly 
washed away the remained memory of the sunlight, leaving only darkness in the 
horizon.

I weep delightfully, as I amputate the hanging wish, releasing my soul from the ghost 
of hope; comfortably I sank in grief, unwilling to rise, refused to pass through, this 
comfort drifted in my veins so ruthlessly I almost couldn’t breath.

Oh, woe for the dreams that kept me hanging on the edge of sanity, and woe for those 
promising tomorrows that faded in the ashes of solitude, for the foolish in me had finally 
crossed the way to the fairyland where a heart can dwell in peace.

you can find my writings at:
http://echoes19.wordpress.com/


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Change in His Love

Is my love for him still there?
What is it as time goes by?

Is it a flame thats being constantly ignited,
  Every minute? Every second? Every mili-second?

Or is it just a flame thats burning away the wax of the candle,
  Soon to be vanquished with nothing but smoke that is to disappear,
    As well, into the atmosphere?

Love...Love is what i feel...

But as each day passes i am saddened more and more.
A mask is what i wear to hide the pain, the depression, the despair.

I once was a rose,
  full of beauty and life.
Now im withering,
  And slowly dying inside.

How could the love of my life
  Choose another man?

A deep shock to others it may be,
  But i knew what his choice was from the very beginning.


Details | Rhyme | |

Shield Me

Shield me from this stain I bear,
remove this filth and smut I wear.
Cover my eyes from the evil truth,
discard these lies and hide the proof.

Guard my heart, these beats of pain,
from this spattered torn, loveless stain.
Protect this tired, worn out soul,
the one who beats out of control.

Defend my honor, grace and trust,
uncoil these spoils, away we must.
Preserve the mutiny, oust the pure,
coral the innocent with your evil lure.

Safeguard the takers, fakers and rest,
loosen the chains around this chest.
Release my dignity, vanity and control,
please shield my heart and cover me whole.


Details | Sonnet | |

Brave like you

 I find myself not , eating, thinking, and sleeping
Sometimes , not doing things right in my life
The many obstacles , Im going threw
Just to reach one goal
The many blocks, I walk
Day or Night

Sometimes confuse on time
Wishing it was a dream
The moment , I heard 
You went to sleep
All, I keep saying is 
Who , understood me like you
For the many reasons 
I love you

I appreciated everything, you did
From the braveness, you gave my soul
The gentleness, in your words
For each teardrop, you wiped off my face
Now, my teardrops seem to reach the ground
While , I look in (Heaven)
Praying your looking down

Showering this fear off my skin
Feel my feet
They're so weak
But , for you 

I get on my knees
Singing and crying, to God
That my angel is you
So , I can whisper in your ear
Mama, make me brave
Brave like you

June 8th 2012


Details | Senryu | |

lost behind fragile glass

she smiles cautiously

as if she knows who I am....

I live on her nightstand





_________________________________________________
For Senryu Contest: Sponsered by Black Eyed Susan




Details | Prose Poetry | |

The color of love

Without him beside me, my future seems so bleak, being naïve, 
i was told he was not meant for me. Ignoring this world of cruelty
and its power tear our world apart. Now sitting i ponder why I being so naïve from the very start

My tomorrow will never come, for I will forever live in his yesterday. Turning my back on the one who loved me in every single way.
Not even time can heal a shattered heart, but I guess somewhere in his heart he loved me after all

Many times I’ve dreamt of him and unable to hide my tears,
As I reminisce that sad day I decide we go our separate ways,
I pinch myself, as in a dream, knowing it is not true,
How could I let go of such a man, no woman would ever do.

I remember the look in his eyes when he dropped by and found my note. Pain crippled on his face leaving such a heart in pain, as he read along “My heart is with you but I will forever be alone, never will you and I share a place of our own. Rejected by all to cross the color line thinking my love is blind".

 If again such a love should come my way, I’d break free of those dark days I’d confess my true heart and reject the rest and  break through this racial barrier and fallow my lovers path wherever he lead to ease this heart that beat to grieve.


Details | Ballad | |

A Better Life...

A Better Life

I don't know why she hides,
I don't know why she shivers,
I don't know why she cries,
I don't know why she quivers,

Daddy's girl is all alone,
And I don't know how to help her,
Daddy's world is all but blown,
And I don't know what to tell her,

What happened to her confidence,
And her self assured way,
Which used to be so prominent,
In all she did or would say,

Who stole my little girl’s heart,
And drove her to such confusion,
She now slowly does her part,
As if all she has is illusion,

She knows I would kill any other man,
For doing such harm to my little girl,
But this is much more than I can stand,
As it has forever blown apart my world,

They took ‘steps’ to the next level,
And now they each look to me in despair,
I warned them each to be careful,
But the forbidden fruit they shared,

Now I look at one without trust,
Yet I still love my son so very much,
I still hold her distant as I must,
But she needs Daddy’s healing touch,

Why do I have to be the bad guy,
When my children need my help,
I pushed one out and I still cry,
While I can't help her help herself,

There is no way to win here,
And my tears won't stop falling,
I have lost them both I fear,
And my fears won't stop calling,

I don’t know what to do anymore,
Or how I can help either of them,
Both children my heart cries out for,
But the truth is neither can win, 

And for this my darling kids,
I am so sorry I can’t decide,
Which to disown or which to kiss,
When I am actually on both your sides,

So I pray that both her and him,
Of whom I am so very proud,
Do not give up and become victims,
Who wear this pain like a shroud,

I pray both of you hear my advice,
Get over this hardship and understand,
This lesson with its terrible price,
Is one where you do as best you can,

To forgive and move on from here,
Without Dad having to choose a side,
And to let go of all that you fear,
If you want to grow to have a better life.


Details | I do not know? | |

Working Job

We need more money we're nearly poor, 
and with that said she shut the door.

In the car he sat an waited,
is this worth it to myself I debated.

I opened the door and slid into the car,
inside myself my heart had a million scars.

When the car pulled off I filled with fright,
as he stroked my leg and squeezed it tight.

He then pulled over to an empty street,
that's when I realized he's really a freak.

There he did it, I  didn't dare to scream, 
for all I know he could get mean.

I got out of the car with my tank top and mini skirt,
with tears in my eyes about how much it hurt.

Standing on the corner with ten dollars in my hand, 
but yet i love her, why I don't understand.


Details | Bio | |

Try Walking In My Shoes

You'll only collapse and fall and tear your knees open,
Shut your mouth, you cant even imagine what hell I've broken.
Blood leaking from my head everyday only makes me lose my mind,
You wouldn't even survive a minuet in my shoes if you were on my grind.

You say you know everything about me and how to live your own life, 
but face it tho, every night your left alone sitting with a knife.
I defeated that part in life where i have to do something for someone,
walking around with my "Ex Wife" as if it were my gun.

So please stop talking like you know what you got your self into,
cause if i were you i would open my eyes and pray that I'm not true. 
So here it is, if you want to walk a bit in these shoes of mine, go ahead, 
But I can promise you only one thing, in the end you'll end up Dead.


Details | Free verse | |

Glimmers of hope

The candles we light in honor of your name
Reflect the brightness you gave to our lives
Burn away at the darker side surrounding
Giving way to freedom's path for your spirit
Helping bring healing to the hearts that miss you
Binding you in mind, faith and prayer
So your memory can live on and bring comfort
To those that walk in hope, with you beside them


Details | Ballad | |

Cassandra

Revelation Said In Stone Appeared an Eon ago of Shame and Sin, Something we all know But not it's rise, For is has already became Virtue Flaming Skies from an Angel So Bright The World's Cure for Soul-Blight A Hell on Earth A Savior's Worth So many Dreams are cast then Forgotten So many lives are brought up then just Thrown back down Maybe she is The Cure Maybe she is The Plan All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Release me and Burn away this land Hold me by The Hand Tell me the past is just pretend Give me The Cure If this is your destiny Then May it be mine I would die in time I'm Just another Obstacle In the way of your divine Wings Forget me Cassandra For Doom was already meant for me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Valkyrie of Heart Angel of Grace I surrender to You Savior by Destiny Dispel all Tragedy Especially me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim


Details | Verse | |

you should not fear ROUNDELET

You should not fear,

though their brawls are so unyielding.

You should not fear,

though the deadline is very near.

Congress will raise the debt ceiling,

despite your skeptical feeling.

You should not fear.


**Roundelet contest (CORRECTED WITH NEW RULES)


Details | Epitaph | |

Concrete Ribbons

On roads to nowhere/everywhere
white crosses dot the countryside seeking
a final resting place abandoned now to 
wait for plastic flowers to be placed as if 
somehow this will bring closure to loved ones 
who mourn their passing from interstate to ether state
from sadness to glory from son daughter mother father 
grandfather orphan to eternal rest. 
White crosses maybe one maybe five 
returning to death no longer alive. 
one brief instant horror to blessed rest
on a cold siding/a concrete ribbon/
a drainage ditch/a nowhere road.
Are they resting there or are they crying 
to let them be with others in this clay
state that means nothing.
now the remains of yesterday clinging to memories faded as
the plastic flowers/teddy bears/grayed out names that 
mean nothing to but a simple few who will 
not let them rest.
Oh my soul mourns to let them free 
let Jeanette go free Bill S. on that lonely road
let B.R. road worker lay his tools and vest and
hard hat down Fred S. is a memory nothing more 
nothing less/let them rest … we long to be at rest 
not be looked upon by passersby who 
wonder why our crosses are in the middle of 
Nowhere/we are nowhere to be found.
We cry for justice of the past/let us sleep where 
we are not where the metal and pain and stench and broken
glass found us …


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Tragic Feather

Oh, tragic feather what is thy tragedy
No longer freedom gay or certian loft
How is this thy new translation
From a majesty, unto a wing thou hath mighty dropped

Were thou thus, shunned, cast away 
Or merely, cut out or off
As limb from downward spiral angel
Perhaps, a troubled finch or insanity in wayward hawk

Lie, if thou must, be it amidst a deafening silence, lonesome soft
But, I plead, please tell me fallen feather, what hath befallen thee
Thy tuft to ne’er evermore touch again
What life should be, warmth of the summer's breeze

Sleep, sleep now 'neath the alley's gutter greys 
Catching Weeping Willows damning drops
Adrift as the drowning lily dying
In seas of the myriad scattered rots

An accomplice I shall say, within a winter's willing white
And alas, buried ordinary in this doth the corpse delight
Far beneath the crowds held at bay and forever lost
Now thou hath become the naked grove of wicker and then...
                                   the more of naked souless crops


Details | I do not know? | |

foRbiDdeN aFfaiR .?

gut renching sorow
a passionate touch
embracing eyes
unknowing guilt 
matters not 
already taken 
for it matters not 
forbidden outside these white walls
spoken only through eye contact
secrets roam about 
through my shouting eyes 
inhumane embraces
speechless actions 
sweat druns down your back
tears down myy cheeks
our bodies meet
as do our lips
.. .ahh this forbidden affair .


Details | I do not know? | |

How??

How is a child suppose to succeed, 
if you're not there when he is in need? 

How is a child who father claims that he is always too busy,
trying to get through life that is not that easy.

How is a child that is mostly abused,
really knows how it is to feels not to be used? 

How is a child that cries at night,
knows when to smile when he sees that true light?

How is a child who no longer wants to live,
will know all the good things that life has to offer him, if he did?

So little answers, too many questions,
So why do we take the time to ask them?



Details | Monorhyme | |

Racism

Daily a victim of racism dies
While our government accuses them wrongly with lies
The air is punctuated by their screams and their cries
In response to their pleas we choose not to reply
They beg us for mercy, they beg us to try
But we simply say you're just another guy
They take it with courage but tears wet their eyes
For the world sits in silence and cares not for their lives


Details | Quatrain | |

Fallen Victim

I have fallen victim so many times
To nobody's fault except only mine.
I will ask for forgiveness and have faith,
Even though I feel like I am not saved.


Details | Free verse | |

We Were Drunk Once

Movies played but seldom watched
As we entangled on the couch
Intoxicated by each other, we drank wine to clear our heads
Things were simple in those times

You were red-eyed and freshly mangled
I wanted so badly to make you smile and forget her
For a time I think I succeeded 
We were blissful in our distraction
Playing grown up as we discovered each other

Long nights where sleeping was forsaken
We preferred to lie intertwined 
Talking 
Smiling
Laughing
The sun would rise and you would leave, reveling in how the hours had escaped us
Smiling at the pink tinged sky
Only to repeat the process nightly

Then we traded places
I am the red-eyed one, and another tries to help me forget you
Sometimes he succeeds
Perspective feels like a cruel joke
Could have
Would have
Should have

Someday he will have red eyes too
A cycle perpetuated


Details | Quatrain | |

Alone And Blue

The wind whispers through the night
Cool against the mist on my skin
A neon sign that reads "Motel" lights my way
Hundreds more have lit where I've been

This night isn't unlike countless before
Walking endlessly with nowhere to go
I pass a drunk in a doorway
And think "now there's something I know"

All I own is here on my back
And the memories I have of you
Lost everything when you left
Now I walk Alone and Blue

Alone and Blue
Living with memories of you
Alone and Blue
What the hell am I going to do

Alone and Blue
No matter how hard I try
Alone and Blue
You never even told me why

Sometimes I wish it would all end
All the pain and suffering gone
Putting my weary mind at ease
My soul could then carry on

But until then I walk through the mist
That rides upon the whispering winds
And go on hearing your voice
My sanity... I try to defend

Alone and Blue
Living with memories of you
Alone and Blue
Are you lonely too??


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

My Thoughts

The loneliness so silently descends.
My mind is mixed, confused, so wrong the feel
Of death, a loss of one no thing can mend.
The touch is gone: the hurt, a broken seal.
The battle done: the pain, so long the fight.
The war, the tears, the cries wash o’er with thoughts;
And what I’d do to make this right tonight 
and end the suffering, a glimpse much sought.
A last warm hand so cold, an ice of touch-
My screams “Come back! Come back!” of shame, of sin
 So mute, so plain, unfair, just not enough.
The fate, in place on stone engraved in pen.

Come back to me that’s all I ask, with hope-
lessness, I hide so desperate to cope.


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Tired Of It All

I'm tired of the lies,
I'm tired of the deceit,
I'm tired of the rumors,
I'm tired of it all.

I'm tired of the pain,
I'm tired of all the heartaches,
I'm tired of the break-ups,
I'm tired of it all.

I'm tired of the hatred,
I'm tired of the sadness,
I'm tired of the anger,
I'm tired of it all.

I wish everything was perfect.
I wish everyone could get along.
I wish all the negative things in the world could be tossed away.
I wish, I wish, I wish...but this is reality, and here...NOTHING is perfect.


Details | Lyric | |

The End To A Wild Ride

This is the end of all the rollercoasters we have rode
So dont look back
Because the world is going up in smoke
Just ride along with me
We will find eachother when the light goes out

Lost in a Wilderness
Will we find ourselves again
After we have been blown up into peices
Who will survive?
Who will make it to the end?

The clouds will darken
And the sun will go black
There bombs will drop
And Silence our voices

Would we have found the love 
We were searching for in the 60's
Would we have found the peace
We researched in our childhood

Would we have fixed bullying
and told children about Columbine
Would we have stopped the Depression
And told children about the help they can get

Would we be ready when the world ends
Or will we be left in the past
Would we believe in God in time for our ending
Or will we still be selling books on another religion

One day we will forget how to hope and learn how to fear.


Details | Haiku | |

Natural Hair Color

cold cold breeze
leaves partially cover her
chopped off braid


Details | I do not know? | |

CHALLENGE

Day and night,
I think about the truth,
Behind those hidden curtains,
Trying hard to understand,
How He thinks and do things,
Why is that that our mind so small,
Its hard for us to think beyond? 
Why did He made everything complicated for us?

I sat down my dad called,
To make me face the reality,
My heart started beating fast,
And tears run down my cheeks,
As if there was hail,
I didn't know what to say,
He told me he might not last long,
How am I going to see him?
He is on the other-side of the world?
I am worried about him,
I wish I could die with the people who I love,
I am scared to loose them
And the hard part is I dont know my dad,
I miss him!

I feel like time is close by,
And I didn't live my life as if I wish to,
I can't because things are not the same,
When I see an apple on the tree,
It feels like blood dropping beside my eyes,
I feel strange in this world,
I don't think or see the things I used to,
I stand amongst people who are changed,
In a bad way and yet the worst hasn't begun!

I can't even write my poems the same,
I can't make it rhyme anymore,
I feel like I am all alone in this,
I feel like this is a big challenge,
And I am lost in middle of no where,
I feel like nobody understands,
When the words come out my mouth,
All they hear is bluh! bluh! bluh!
I am disparate to find someone who I can talk to,
Yet I am scared to trust anybody,
I been hurt so many times,

I dont even know how to end this poem if you called it,
I have so much anger that is in me,
That no matter what I say there is still more,
That will never end,
One thing I know is I hate to be here,
And live in a place full of strangers, selfish liars, and untrusted people!


Details | I do not know? | |

poems

poems of love 
poems of hate 
closing doors
 and clicking gates 

Gates of white 
Gates of blue
 all beg for something new
 
something new
  something old
 something saying lets be bold 

i  know you
 and i know something you 
would like to do 

 so take my hand 
and lets leave behind the seas
 and the sand
 
 fly to a new beginning 
leave all these people we watch 
sinning
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Buried love

He is sleeping in my bed unsuspecting,
As I sneak out the back door again.
I stalk across the dimly lit garden,
Stricken with guilt, remorse, heart-piercing pain.
 
Even during blissful moments in his arms,
Your face flickers in the reflection in his eyes.
I close mine only to see your face again,
In the blackness, dark as night skies.
 
How can I be happy with someone else,
When thoughts of you haunt me, asleep or awake?
How can I smile up at him,
When its your features I'm trying to remake?
 
Even though he makes me happy,
Its nothing compared to the joy you brought me.
I start the car and stare at the lucky charm,
Remembering when you said, my happiness it will guarantee.
 
I guess it never did work,
Because now I'm sitting in this empty car,
Wondering how things could have gone this wrong,
When we had promised stay together upon a solitary star.
 
I'm driving down the familiar road,
Wishing an accident would take away this pain.
Better a quick unfortunate incident,
Than a slow death, plagued by guilt, going a little insane.
 
Walking through the wrought iron gates,
I cant help remembering the many times I've sneaked out.
Each time I reach the graveled path,
If you're worth the trouble, I doubt.
 
But I cant help stalking out the house,
You've become my obsession, my pilgrimage.
Praying silently he never finds about you,
For I'm sure he'll have me put in a cage.
 
I feel the steady calm rising as I near you,
Your voice is in the wind, the rustle of the leaves.
I can hear my heart beat in my ears,
I move to your headstone among the other graves.
 
As usual I trace the engraved heart,
Let a few tears slip and lie down on your cover.
Wishing the block of marble between would disappear and so,
For the last time I could see my sunshine, my one true lover.
 
- Miliya Parveen


Details | Free verse | |

Color of a Man's Character

The Color of a Man’s Character
We all bleed
And cleave to 
Those we leave

We all smile when we are greeted
And cry when we are mistreated

Why do we choose to abuse others 
For the color of their skin?

Why do we think that only 
Our own color should win?

We’re all the same underneath 
We all deserve peace 
When we lay down to sleep

Love one another while you can
Show your son how to be gracious
The color of a man’s character 
Is how he treats his fellow Man.


Details | I do not know? | |

Blank Page

i'm a blank page
empty
waiting for someone 
to leave their mark
empty
words fill the page
my life's words
marred by scars inflicted
by another
gashes, cuts
but still empty
but wish it wasn't 
pieces are torn and lost 
words faded and worn
stains of blood and tears
fill the spaces
a filthy piece of paper
and yet it's still empty


Details | Light Poetry | |

An Uncaring World

We Live in  world that lacks genuine love and affection towards
their fellowman.
Why are so many uncaring towards one another.
People today don't care what they do or say and who they say it 
to, understandably the world has and is still undergoing changes
there is a whole lot more pressure on people these days
especially the younger generation which causes anger,
depression and frustration.

Then there is now the extra worries of the global ressession
which causes misery and grief but where is the 
sense of relief people are in much despair over 
the financial state as they fear their jobs
are at stake.

The world seems to be in a real angry state, due to
all the atrocities and anomisty there is 
which makes people uncaring and  can cause others to
feel intimidated to even walk the streets and not
looking at people that they meet as there is no
trust anymore in the world.

How did we get to this where nothing seems right,
where angry people argue and fight,
only evil is in sight.
Happiness is just a dream, not a reality or so it may
seem.

What went wrong in the world that caused so much
grief and anguish when did it begin, it started in
1914 when the world saw the first world war,
the reason for the troubles since then was the
devil Satan was thrown out of heaven  to the
earth and  soon he is to be destroyed so while he
has the time left he is causing so much upheaval
as he is full of anger knowing he will soon be gone, as
God Jehovah will rid the earth of Satan and his demons
and he will restore the earth to A Paradise in
peace and security instead of all the unrest and
anomosity.  People will be happy for all 
eternity.



Details | Rhyme | |

A Cohen Questions God

Oh, God, tell me why
You made my bones
From dust
My soul
From 
Hebrew 
Clay

Tell me why 
You made my mind
From storms
Dark remnants
Of the day

Reveal all your secrets
Why you placed me
In this
Pain

Show me a 
Hidden
Higher 
Path
The one 
From which 
I strayed

Refill the pool of
Laughter 
Whose waters
Have been 
Drained

God

You 

Made

Me 

So 

Sad

And...

Naked I kneel
Before you
Sing your 
Yahweh
Name

Naked in your 
Temple
Bathed in 
Holy
Shade

Tell me why
I was born 
A priest
Fallen
And 
Betrayed

Fallen
From your 
Garden
Lost 
In every
Way.

 


Details | Alliteration | |

One Among Many part 1

Chapter 1 
As but only one young lost man in a great land I sometimes don’t want to see what I see in life but death causes me to look. I don’t want to hear the things I hear but have to admit the things here that I’ve heard. I don’t want to be guilty today it’s why I continue to strive past my past for innocence in the near future. I don’t want to feel what I feel but after another day in this dark place has gone by I can’t hide what I have painfully felt. As but one young man I wonder why I question others motives and still can’t see the answers to my own as if I know all the answers to life when I don’t even know the true cause of my own. I wonder why I am happier at times but more often than not why I continue to be sad. I look for ones in groups of twos and get lost in groups of threes, but don’t get even me started on the groups of fours. On the outside world I am lost yet inside myself I know I am found, I holler silently at night while I quietly pray during the day. As but only one young man I can only do what is best for self-first if I want to start making a difference for two. 
Sometimes life for one can be fun, but on the reservation more often than not it is boring and dull. On the reservation I found serenity and solitude in the hills but I also found old savages and young Satan’s in the towns. I see beauty and peace in Mother Nature but I also found violence and ugliness among my very own in the neighborhood. I see not what I see and I think not what I think for I feel what I see which leads me to think. I choose rather to just be rather than not be what other people want me to be. I see what I see because I haven’t really got a choice in what I will see, I’d rather choose to just say that I saw. Outside people can’t make one see what I already choose not to see for I see what I see rather if they want me to see things their way or not. I can’t feel what they feel unless they feel what I feel and live where I live and be where I am to know where I truly am from to understand the thoughts and feelings of not only a young native of struggle, but as a person worldwide no matter the skin color.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Broken Puzzle Piece

Your strength was my weakness

Your heart was like my home

Your love was mine to keep

But now I'm so alone

I thought this was for the best

Atleast that's what you said

My heart just seems so broken

Its almost like I'm dead

I've gotten so lost and confused

I feel kind of twisted and abused

It's like my feelings are a letter left unread

You would'nt take the time

You said you didn't care

But throughout it all I was still there

I guess it's time to let go

I guess it's something we will never know

The words left unsaid will be kept with us until we're dead

Heres my last goodbye

I cannot stick around while you watch my heart die.


Details | I do not know? | |

Control

Anger and racism running through your soul,
will do nothing but make you lose control.


Details | Free verse | |

asking

All the things you should know
All the swings you’ve taken on me
But haven’t noticed at all
And there goes the things you won’t know

Can’t you see all I got to tell you?
Can’t you tell just by the sound of my steps?
And as it seems you won’t notice at all
And I won’t tell you, not now, not tomorrow

Till you notice what have you done
How does that stomping on my dreams
Dragging all I know down
What I thought was concrete now is just flour on the floor.

So by now all I got to tell you
Is, ask me please
Just the right time, the right words and everything fine.
And it seems that here I’ll be for eons

With all this around me
And you don’t seem to care
You don’t care at all
With my broken past, and you can’t see it 

And there it goes my hope
Within this forest I don’t see a way out
And guarding what’s left it’s all I have.

And still you don’t care.

~Anna


Details | Lyric | |

Journey

After being shattered,
 torn apart inside,
 a hole was carved out of me
 and something in me died.
 
Our dreams, desires and hopes,
 so young and plentiful,
 all too quickly melted away,
 both of us feeling dismal. 

The time that then came after;
 so dark, unhopeful and bleak.
 The Heart could see no light,
 the body soon became weak.
 
A living, moving corpse,
 an empty, lonely shell.
 The Soul would drift, unheard from,
 locked in its gloomy shell.
 
But life is so persistent,
 and always will pull through.
 Subtle, gentle rays of light
 will once again shine true.
 
The pieces of Self are gone,
 and an emptiness remains,
 Yet the dark thoughts drip away,
 the Soul no longer in chains.
 
So Self must be reborn,
 clay in a potter's hands.
 Piece by piece, the hole is filled,
 done so with multiple strands.
 
Recreated little wonder,
 dance with Joy once more.
 Let your dreams regain their wings,
 and see what He has in store.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Ugliness Of Divorce


My parents taught me the Christian ways.
I was taught to obey what the Bible says.

I was proud of my parents!  I really was!
And loved them so much…  Just because!

They meant everything to me!  I was proud!
Until one day...  There appeared “a dark cloud.”

It was like a “darkness” hovered above.
Leaving their marriage empty of needed love!

Though they were together many years.
There were many cracks that soon appeared.

I say a once happy home soon destroyed.
Being with one another….  They no longer enjoyed!

How could this happen! I had wondered…
To see a happy marriage “totally plundered

As sin crept in...  And allowed to prevail.
Very soon this marriage simply failed.

May this be a warning for me and you…
That our commitment remains faithful and true!

If your marriage is heading toward separation…
Please seek God for a healing and restoration!

If your planning to have a divorce..
Jesus’ love can put it on the right course!

He can replace the brokenness and hurt within..
And can put your lives back together AGAIN!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

That happy smile of this Girl I know

I want a reason to live
My heart wrenches in pain all too often
Tears stream down my cheeks 
Trembling lips
An urge to scream loudly

I hold it all in. 

There are way too many thoughts swirling in my head
Dizziness and a feeling of loneliness 
Creeping right under my skin
A mental breakdown is soon to show

I hold it all in.

Everyday I get closer to believe
Death might be a better place
For one who is nothing
but a hindrance to oneself 

I hold it all in.

Thoughts of doing harm again
It is getting tough not to do so
Letting everything spill on the floor
The water stealing every drop away

I hold it all in.

Weights fallen drastically 
Who notices, no one
Trying to be pretty
Who am I kidding?
I am nothing but bones
A shell yet full of too many emotions. 

La la la la.
 Mind not clear.
 Eyes clouded. 
Throat soar. 
Body numb.
 I want to leave.

Somewhere faaaaar away. 

I am afraid of the day 
I can not hold it all in
That day shall be
My Death
Wandering off to somewhere else
Fed with lies from all sides

I am Alone.


Details | Free verse | |

deep-dark-hollowed heart

I stand 
I wait
I worried
for the things that may not happened

I hope
I pray
I cried
longing for a peaceful heart

All I wanted is...
when i close my eyes I won't feel afraid
and when I open my eyes, a smile will appear 
coz today i breathe again

in a deep-dark-hollowed heart
like living as a sinner
like walking around in a forest finding a way out
God, released me from this feeling...

Nobody wants to feel alone
like a stranger in a crowded place
take me to a home where love can hold me
to a nice sleep when the night comes

I am lost so find me
I cry so hug me
I am lonely so love me...


Details | Free verse | |

Nobody's Child

The scorn of abandonment,
howls of silence
when a room entered,
the school yard clatter
community chatter,
pulpit perniciousness
traduce in speculation.
Housewives with
corrective attitudes
deft in moralistic anomalies,
snarls over the broom
with piercing eyes declaring
“Hands off
there stands the scrum of the womb”.
Yes i am a motherless child
raised in an environment
of inclement
wagging tongues,
haggish gapes
smug righteousness,
born of woman
alas not a mother!

copyright 2012
Harry J Horsman 2012


Details | I do not know? | |

You're my what....?!

           This is not my WORLD.

           You're my WORLD.

           You're my EVERYTHING.

           You're the FLOWERS, the GRASS, 

           You're my THOUGHTS,

           You're my EVERYTHING.
            
           This is not my WORLD.
           You're my WORLD.
                     
          So now.....
                be part of my.....
                                    LOVE.



                  *please comment if you don't mind, i'd really like to know your thoughts 
(fav poem if you like)*
                                                  
                                                            -Angel4eva23


Details | Rhyme | |

A Cry For Help

During the devestation of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, Louisiana. Haunting memories 
of a nightmare that will never be forgotten.



All through this great nation,
screaming voices of isolation,
echoing cries of the weak,
along the crossroads of smothering August heat.
No dignity as death unfolds,
wing whipped city, a sinking bowl.
Just for the record and made to be known,
slow to respond to my drowning soul,
with hope for life in a sinking bowl.
The last breath taken with misery,
and just for the record, history.


Details | Free verse | |

Love Thing

She will not say she was Predator.
She knows she was
(She has that throbbing memory to
remind her)
But it's in her intuition,
Her breath (her life)
To be Victim.
Let her play the part.

"It was like a game of chess
Against myself and I;
I won
And thus I lost-

We met by fate
Intertwined by what we loved
The ice gradually cracked and broke
And I wanted his flesh on mine,
His breath on mine
But he wanted me wholeheartedly.
ME!

But I was too torn
I am torn to pieces.

Yet I consented knowing...
Knowing...
I will break everything
So long as I'm broken
And without action,
Without thought,
He was made broken
And now he breaks everything.
A pestilent sick that penetrates.
How was I supposed to know he would grow ill?"

Now nod.
Smile until your jaw cracks,
Else she'll bicker
Til you do.
Don't show signs that you tracked her lie
But show pity...
She doesn't deserve pity
But smile with pity
Pity that the b**** lied to you.

That she deserves.


Details | Rhyme | |

If We Never Meet Again

If we never meet again,
If I never get to see those eyes,
Full of a land of laughs and lies,
Then darling, I'd just like to say,
Thank you for melting my troubles away,
Even though you turned your back on me,
Leaving me cold and shivery.

You were a fascinating creature;
My one redeeming feature,
You gave me little satisfaction,
But that was part of the attraction,
And if it takes forever
I will learn to leave you behind,
Out of sight and out of mind,
It's going to take a long long time
To replace my partner in crime,
Who else would dare to risk it all
To intervene and break my fall?
Just like I did for you before,
But you won't let me anymore.

So before we go our separate ways,
Let me take one last look at your face,
For whatever happens once we part,
The world can't wash you from my heart.


Details | Quatrain | |

For I Had Lied

Dada was everything to our youth
Our wide faculty was his help
Our recognition was his sooth
Nobody does it than his rep

Many youth he carried up there
Without seeking any penny
Many services he rendered
For free. All of which we did see 

He was not a king or a prince
Perhaps he was just a God sent
To his community, king and prince...
He begot not but was begot

Mindful of his predicament
But dare not showed it on earth
Till that Friday night he drove out
Of town and took to a scar oath

The next hour we heard he had died
And left us belated letter
"Don't cry for me, for I had lied.
...I'll die now before later"


*cry for...: Mourn

28/05/2013


Details | Free verse | |

Black Jungle Cat

Several women were in the breezeway
Going from the sanctuary to the Fellowship Hall.
On either side of the French doors,
They gazed out the large windows in fear.
As I walked up to them, one of them asked
In hopeless desperation, "Who will go outside
And get the supplies for us."  They looked at each other.
She said this because the enemy was on our shores,
Patrolling every city, great and small.  I saw the armies.
People were afraid to venture outside their houses.
There were no soldiers in the street at this time.
It was a clear day.  I said to them, "I will go."
I opened and closed one French door and felt it...
FEAR was thick.  It crouched like a black jungle cat,
Panther or jaquar, lurking in the brush for prey.
My eyes were wide open as I walked the distance
Of the Staff's parking area.  There was a chamber 
Underground set aside for certain supplies.  
The enemy's presence was strong as I looked around.
I think I had to unlock its door before I opened it.
I took what was needed and walked through Fear.
I never saw him, but the enemy's threat to pounce
Was felt with each step until I quickly reached the porch
And entered back inside the church in front of the office.


(This is a dream I had the year after 9/11.)


Details | Haiku | |

45th- BLANK

there are 2 blank cards
in the angel card deck so
today I'm "depressed"

for this to be the 
best country in the whole world
today it looks sad

just happy that I 
was a member of the age
of Aquarius

our best hour was 
revolution of 60's
created big change

now elephants rule
just capitalistic pigs
love hear themselves squeal



Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Free verse | |

The Cremation of My Uncle- 2

When his truck met
with nature so pure,
Did he know his time
was coming to an end?

Basic elements of life
taught each day
not to think twice.
Giving humans oxygen,
yet encouraging a raging fire,
just ordinary trees.
Did he know they would 
cut his time short?

A cremation vault so sacred
destroys our lives.
It put him in a vase
rather than a box.
Does he know now
that he has come
to an end?

-Caroline Youngless


Details | Ballad | |

Echoes of You

For me the sun has closed her eyes
Never to rise again
Darkness is all that surrounds me now
Darkness and echoes of pain

I'm on a journey to nowhere
The road is narrow and long
Walking alone, I stumble and fall
With echoes of you and our song

I try to look to the future, but
I may just as well be blind
The absence of you is all that I see
Echoes of you so defined

Confusion and pain, my constant friends
They never leave me alone
Reminders of all that you and I shared
Echoes I cannot disown

Today or tomorrow will never be mine
I live in a dark, sad place
The past, not the present, is all I can see
In the echoes of your lovely face

Emotional scars are invisible
But the damage is built to last
I wonder, will I ever be free
From echoes of you and the past...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Ballad | |

Corpse Bride

The braeþ of lyf -- I've Learned to fear
Though, ta'en it was, so long sinsyne
I've wroot my song of skreighs
He tore the lyf out of me
In sooth did she speke this to me - Cassandra was she to me
Wistful - I am no bride to be
Wistful - is this soliloquy of skreighs

I cede to thee, deathly colleen 
Though remains - façades of humanity 
Angel kind - wicce of my welkin dreams
Casted by the lote of she
Ta'en the hollow Herefro way - ne'er!
Caught with twain
W'ie or swain

Angel dearest so fair - love does not share
Seemed a crux, when eath is lone
I rose for thee - cede all of thy love to me
Or was this not meant to be
Eros's deceit 
So wistful - corpse bride I remain to be


Details | Verse | |

Through A Prison Glass

You came unexpectedly, and i was surprised,
you smiled and placed your hand on the glass and cried.
I leaned my head against the glass and told you i am sorry,
i whisper through the phone line, ill start a new story.

You knew i was innocent but you still didn't believe me,
the only person i thought that would stay by my side but you couldn't be. 
Mom standing by your side and not wanting to talk,
i got really upset that you came at all cause i didn't want to see you walk. 

I needed you, when i was in need,
i was there for you when ever you didn't want to bleed.
I loved you and i cherished you with all my heart,
but before you left your words hit me like a really sharp dart.

You said i failed you,
you cried to me and i knew it was true.
But i needed you to understand me,
but you went your way and upset me.

The glass is now empty and i cant find you even with the fact that I'm out,
i tell you i love you but all you do is shout. 
I've lost you for good this time, 
so i think i have to do one more crime. 


Details | Didactic | |

TO OUR POLITICIANS

                                             

We are not different from toilet tissue
Used in cleaning shit-smeared buttocks-
Those of you unabashed politicians
Who proliferate our ears
With gargantuan lies
Croak with breathe-taking professionalism
And awe-inspiring stratagem. 

You these jigsaw creatures that deceive our mothers
With soap and blood maggi
As if our mothers whom we suckled are sheer beggars.

Your voice rise again
In their well crafted holy sermon-
“Vote for me and have tarred roads!”
Begging us to once again
Place you in comfort and wealth
While we are used yet again 
To clean rot-caked buttocks.


Details | Free verse | |

Eclipse Of The Soul

Eclipse Of The Soul
By: Noel N. Villarosa


Plants harmonize to the sun to bring life aglow
And to rest at the night’s luminary
The sea is waiting for the wind to blow
And serve as cradle for fish hatchery

And mankind, on the hustle and bustle of each day
Gyrate on a merry-go-round, so tedious
Withal, a wishy-washy self
And a thrall of his own fear
Thither that place called ‘hades’
And in his dream the edelweiss and wisteria
Go down to ecocide
The fierce billow has taken many billet doux
Into a forlorn land
Pensive for a homing pigeon to carry his thought to God
That once awaken, a harmonica is playing
And a new paradise for dwelling
Many at threescore are not contented
And praying for a longer life
But many committed blasphemy so umpteen
And now yelling for the forgiveness of sin
And the fracas he brought to nature

Now mankind is waiting for the great covenant
For the realization of life, truth, and love as above all
And the destruction of sin, sickness, and death
Before he sees the complete eclipse of his soul


Written and posted in voicesnet.com poetry site: 28 October 2009 


Details | Lyric | |

fracking oil

should I believe you man in the suit?
oh your hair looks mighty fine 
combed back, your polished slacks 
a slight tan 
you are irresistible in your presence 
demanding attention. 
you have a face that looks right 
nothing you say would be out of sight 
nothing you do would steer me wrong 
oh man in the suit, 
you are my god. 
you have the power to make us thrive 
dig a hole 
to the other side 
not to china, but to the fuel
oh man in the suit 
I cannot trust you 
you dug too deep 
into a pocket of the earth 
looking for more resource 
to fill your own pockets 
but I don't want pockets 
man in the suit 
all I want 
is for you to tell the truth
your polished smile did us wrong 
lies lay upon your clever tongue  
and you continue to rule the earth 
digging your holes 
you find more girth 
to your hungry pockets 
which you try so hard to fill
when will you learn 
that filling pockets kills...


Details | Lyric | |

How Do I Love You So

In this wretched and dark place,
it's the only world I can show my face.
Ashamed of my love,
A past full of disgrace.
And yet all I want is to see your face.
But it's something I've longed to
erase.
Why do I love you so? 
These crazy feelings they need to go.
You have my heart racing like i need to show,
my love for you but I just really don't know 
how I love you so.
It's been a long wild trip,
but this I must rip.
And thats you from my heart
Yea that'd be a better start.
But here comes that thing again 
you make me want to sing and then
You see right through me
do you know what you do to me
All these things I've done you see
Fueling my insanity.
Make me want to fall apart,
Spill knowledge from this broken heart.
All I ever wanted was to be set free,
Can you really not see all of what you've done to me?


Details | Verse | |

Armageddon Pt 1

It's bout to get worse
It was written in the verse
The truth hurts
ARMAGEDDON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED

When the time comes
No one's gonna hold up a sign
saying it's time to "get right"
It's gone come like a thief in the night!
Blowin' up and wreckin ish!
The war you want is the war you gone get
It was written before our time
We keep looking at the signs
manifest before our very eyes
constantly denying our right
to be one of the meek ones of our time
ARMAGEDDEON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED

We're at the end of what used to be existence
Every super power will answer to a higher power 
so pray repentence
The time is closer than any distance
From Washington to Obama
No one will escape the wrath!
Hope you choose the right path!
Narrow is the gate of the righteous tracks
that are imprented on the mind of the omnipotent one
Will you be spared life on earth with the meek ones
and accurately take in knowledge of his son?
OR will you perish in the dust
never to be awakened again?
No consciousness of sin
ARMAGEDDON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED!

It's in the verses
Read it, see it, live it, rehearse it
You see the times changing
You see the minds fading
You see the world and how messed up it is
You see that nigga satan and his curses!
I pray to have a chance to live a beautiful paradise on earth like it say in the verses!
ARMAGEDDON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED

YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN WARNED


Details | McWhirtle | |

This Valentine's Day

What happened to you?
You used to be so sweet.
The one and only guy,
My eyes would ever meet.

You were my man,
Once upon a time.
Giving me flowers,
And sweet valentines.

Now all I know,
Is you deserted me.
Won’t look me in the eyes,
And talk right on key.

You’ve become so cruel,
And I loved you so.
So this Valentines Day,
I’ll try to let you go.

From deep in my heart,
and deep in my brain.
All the memories we shared,
Will forever remain.

That I cant forget
My love is too strong
So this Valentines Day
I’ll try to move on.


Details | Lyric | |

UNFOLD

The pain of change as it unfolds
Is oft a tale that stays untold
What is seen is a whole creature
not deep holes in the feature
nor concrete soles that makes his feet hurt

It all begins with a soft kiss
He is walking with a false bliss
Only following in paw prints
But the nature of mom's lips
Is to rob him of all innocence

Trapped in warm spindles of fear
A wrapped life form kindles in here
Four years bound to shingles of moss
Time to leave this life of sloths
Break free like that of a moth
and Rise again like Christ on the cross


Details | I do not know? | |

I still miss you

Visions stolen,
Heart beat raised
You still touch me,
In the castle in the air

I don’t want to miss you,
Truth is, I still do
The smile, those eyes,
I still miss you..

The path has forked
The world has split
Memories tainted,
I still miss you

I yearn for a rendezvous
To reminisce the cold touch
The twinkle, the chuckle,
I still miss you

Cries of laughter,
Strength of bond,
The waiting seconds,
I still miss you

Time does not reverse
The road unveils beautifully
But, some are unforgettable
And, I, still miss you…


Details | Lyric | |

Regaining power

Regaining Power.

He walks a lonely road, with his head there in the clouds
And he doesn’t even notice passing strangers
He’s been here ‘bout a thousand years forever all alone
And he’s always looking out for passing danger.

Invisible sometimes he feels, so he tries to seek the glory
As the child calls out in panic “I am here
They have taken all my power so my blossom will not flower
And all around I’ve built a wall of fear

But it’s his pain it is his game
As he prowls around his cage
He lives in vain, is he insane?
And fear ignites his rage.

The truth be plain, the lions mane is what he must acquire
The little boy he must regain his power
And tell the world “I’m here, I’m here” and feed the burning fire
It would take this much to open up his flower.


Details | Rhyme | |

One Way to Cede

It's the metal in my hand,
Like biting into an apple
The juice runs down my arm
Its nectar is what I need
To make me cede 

Wanting it to be shown
What it feels like to be me
In the moment, I’ll give up hope
This is the only way I know how to cope

Will you just help me please?
Wanting someone to see
and just know what I mean,
What its like to fall
With no pit that compares to be this deep
Just want to hear my voice
Loud and clear
But as long as I hang here
I have no control
But to watch myself tear

This is what I've become
What I've done
Don't be surprised
For once actually look with your eyes
And you'll see the real me
Showing all the signs
Now I just ask you please
Hear me and take me out of my misery 
Not asking to move a mountain over seas
Just lay it over me to let me be

Is it possible to think about anything but this?
Will the thought ever quit?
Pain over comes any thing
Including this

I want it to be seen
It’s how much it hurts
Not the scar it leaves behind,
But the stab that’s not seen
I will fall back into the hole
Hold my breath and do not breathe
Because today I wear my heart on my sleeve 


Details | Rhyme | |

Might these be

Might this be a wonder,
Might this be a sunder,
Might this be the blocker,
Might this be the warder,
Might there be a plunder,
Might it pass the border,
Might there be a dweller,
Might they be lodgers,
Should they be squatters,
Should they be trespassers...

Might they squander,
Might it scatter,
Might this be a sputter,
Might there be a clutter,
Moght there be to many clusters,
Might this be the controller
Mightit get power...?

Might these be handlers,
Might these be forcers,
Might these be the squashers,
Might these be the breakers,
Breaking some of the order...

Might this be a night,
Going to a wretched midnight,
Coming from a raging twilight,
Until these be ended, throughout nighttime,
Later waking from our bedtime,
Maybe dying to see the morning light,
Might this be happening tonight...?

Might there be a knight,
Might there be a fight,
Waiting for a shining might,
Coming from some rainbow's light,
coming slight from the nighttime,
With some waiting for their fly...

Might these fight the ghouls,
Might they get to their goal,
Might this vanish some ghosts,
Whom want all of our souls...

Might this be other things,
Might these be the lives of life,
With some asking, might these be I...?


Details | I do not know? | |

You Abandon Me

You Abandon me,
  Expunged me.
    You left me without someone like you.

Yea i should say "I Love You,"
  But i'm not sure i do.
   Yea i should Forgive you,
 But i'm not sure i will.
      I don't deserve you,
 & you don't deserve me.
    I know you don't care.
Cuz if you did then you'd call.
   Im Not going to search for you,
 & you better Not search for me.

Yea i should say "I Love You,"
  But i'm not sure i do.
Yea i should call you "Father"
  But i'm not sure i will.
     
You Abandon me Father,
  left me without a Dad.
I read your letters over and over.
  Reading your lies of how "You'll move closer to me so we could hang,"
How you said you "Loved Me".

Then why did you disappear?
Then why did you pop into my life when i was 10?
Why couldn't you pop into someone else's life?!

Yea i should say "I Love You,"
          But i don't.
You Abandon me Father...
     So im going to do the same...

   Good Bye.

- Brittany

( thank you for reading and commenting.. it really means alot :) please comment and rate :) thank you again)


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A Hertfelt Cry

He raises his  voice louder and louder it goes

I beg him stop, stop ,please stop

He grabs me, he pushes me

The more I beg him to stop, the angrier he becomes

I slap him thinking it will stop him

Oh so wrong I am, his anger deepens

He hits me again and again

The pain  oh so strong I tell only one, his sister

Soon too be mine if  this, this pain  I can endure

I cry often for I love him so

I cry often for I can't  take his pain away

Oh Lord place your heeling hands on the one I love so

 Ease  his pain, give him strength to let go of his past 

Show him your love so he can truly love again





Details | Light Poetry | |

Never Shall I Forget

Never Shall I forget the screams Never Shall I forget the intensity of the flames Never Shall I forget the revulsion of peoples faces Never Shall I forget the scarlet color of blood Never Shall I forget the sighs of the ghosts Never Shall I forget the remains of the pieces of the puzzles left unsolved Never Shall I forget the whispers of the dead Never Shall I forget the echoes of bangs, endless bangs Never Shall I forget this nightmare Never Shall I forget the race The race to live


Details | Lyric | |

Blinded

Branded, like a cigarette
crushing flesh to the bone
paralysed by fear
though you struggle on your own
your ego 's got you wary
while your mind's in control
shut empty and on edge
Oh Down you go

No formal introduction
to a girl without a face
arms stretched out wide
consoles me with her grace
she says, she's got the answer
to any kind of pain
medicated love
pyrotechnics for the flame

Guess i am
your muse my friend
oh Yes I am
she says ... 


Details | I do not know? | |

Forever Angel

FOREVER ANGEL.

Right?

There is always an angel there by your side at all times. 

Even if you don't see or hear the angel, its always there.
 
Their there for you when things get tough. Right there by your side with an arm around your 
sholder.

                           (God didn't promise that life would be easy.
       But he did promise that he will be by your side every step of the way.)

 If you just think about this when you're alone, you'll relize that you not alone.
                
 
*please comment if you like or just have a thought. (or fav poem if you like*                       

                                   -Angel4eva23


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Feeling cold,
Lost in desperation,
Remembering sadness,
Getting in frustration...

Trying to let go,
Comprehended,
By few of those.

Losing comprehension,
Restrained from myself,
Being criticized,
Feeling hollowed.

Needing help,
To bring me,
Back to life...


Details | Lyric | |

The Moment of Atonement

My Dear World,
I owe you an apology;

Forgive me
for I have distorted thee:
lying passionately,
I failed to accept you
by chimera deceptional
I wanted to surmount you
believing myself
to be exceptional.

Forgive me My World
my bitterness,
narcissism
and selfishness;
for a fool I was
since the truth 
was consciously unknown to me
thus calamitious the discovery would be.

Please forgive me
all the souls my ambition eradicated,
all the feelings my sharp tongue destroyed,
all the emotions my cold heart repudiated,
for how much all those deeds I enjoyed.

I was then infected;
the infection seemed incurable
as I wanted it to be -
or wasn't I aware how diseased I was?

My Dear World,
I owe you an apology;

Forgive me
my blindness
to the beauty of life;

With myself in centre
I would not look around
for distorted was my perception
by a deceitful projection
of perfect me in faulty universe.



My Dear World,

Thank you
for
instant recovery of my senses,
the wisdom you blessed me with,
the pain myself was redefined through.

Yester year
I reached the deepest depth
slowly losing my pride -
my psyche was nearing death
in plight I could hardly abide -
I understood a mere human I am.

Now I laugh
enjoying my life
every day forsooth
heartily 
and with ruth.



Thank you
My Dear World
Please, forgive me.


Details | Free verse | |

My Mama

My Mama she trips out in the moon light
when I’m safely tucked up in bed
she dresses to wow her audience
but I know not of her occupation
when I ask I am greeted by silence
and then “You will understand when you grow up”

My Mama she returns at break of day
before the curtains begin to twitch or draw
she’ll come in exhausted and fix my breakfast
then checking in on me she’ll wake me for school
before she goes off to bed – she’ll see me later
to ask about my day and play

A Mamas kiss, a smile, a hug, warmth, food and a roof
Yet when we go out together people turn 
to talk to one another, quietly nodding
Funny looks are cast our way and yet not one shall speak to us
Aged nine in school I find out why 
when another child will laugh

“Ya Mama works the streets
lies on her back, watches the sky – to feed ya
-Tis what my Ma said”
It makes me cry
I love my Mama
but this shame hurts

I want to die…


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

I'm like a lion
Tryin to be  trained
to behave in a cage, but
I wasnt born to be tame
Full of stress and rage
 Im compressed and chained
Infected with depression
beCause I cant catch a break
Lifes taste is so tart
In pain from my scars
Stained by lame luck
Stuck behind apace car
I strive to write
But all I can type is the space bar
I'm Pervaded with doubt
About to freakout
Quick Someone bail me out
I would sniff my way out
but I got this cyst on my snout
From 6 years of this drought
Im sittin with this could of pout
Stickin to me like jam from a can
like melted candy in your hand
I'M a pantree full of Spam
 A Letter without the stamp
A debtor without a plan
Like chicken on a pan without any Pam,
Damn I'm starting to get pissed
 I got to devise a plan, before I break my fist,
Punching this brick wall, I got the spit but no ball
got the wits with no squall, like a toliet with no stall
 Slippin in a pit fall, Shiz just snow balls
I want to brawl, missed last call
My Stick shift just stalled,
This lawl has no intention at stopin at all
And I'm kicking myself in the balls
like old men walking up and down the halls
so i flop, just like a dust mop
Now i got knots in my food box
The size of king kongs rocks and
Every door has been locked
I try to soar but its all for not


Details | Free verse | |

They

They pronounce to me there is but no ordinary
Then how is it that being dissimilar achievable?
They notify me everyone is diverse
Then is it that being diverse to be ordinary?

They advise to me there is no flawlessness 
But is perfection attainable?
They inform me it is once you do everything acceptably 
So what happens when everything is accepted inaccurately?

They tell me an assortment of things
They inquire about my thoughts
But I have learned time after time to declare to ‘them’:
I want to be the me I once sought


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

No Parachutes,safety nets,souls,or hope

Love is whispered and not forgotten
If this be so
I deaf to soft lipped invitations seek no thought of hope
I of no past collection hold thought
To forget is gruesome and beautiful

My eyes, swift allies in my war of world tell no lies

Silent in the 4 walled chalkboard blue
Shakespearean mad men twist their tongues with words of bland hue

I believe the concept of Ugliness is more profound than that of beauty
Dreams of my bladed face fill up behind my eyes...scratching my mind

Nothing goes SURPRISE! anymore
To love and lose is not the exciting protagonist to never having lost love

the optimists run in circles
pretenders of despair hunt themselves

Every street is Desolation row and my window is covered with blood

Nothing comforts anything
No advice

....just surprises


Details | Rhyme | |

Dancing On The Edge Of A Pin

She was a tiny angel of a woman
mindlessly moving, in a chemical faze
her heart baracaded, tormented
from her long, lonely days 
while dancing on the edge of a pin.

Dreaming images with her feet, twirling
oblivious on a pole, 
trying to live a shoddy role
stripped of dignity, ripped of grace
imposed upon her lifeless soul
 
Her teardrops falling, slowly slipping,
silently dripping, leaving behind 
their clear, salty trace 
as they slide down her cheeks, 
like icy blue, watery veins
on her tear, stained face

She dances mindlessly
from one seedy cloud to another
in faded memories blurred by her past 
Through hazy, watery depths she bleeds
tying to quench a thirst so deep
in her hemorrhaged, sedated heart,
so worn, so  torn, 
by her dreams that did not last               
 
As she slides down the pole~
she floats in a hazy, igneous swirl
of aqueous diluted anesthesia.
Demons eat and devour through
her darkened descent of amnesia

Painful depths that turn and twist
in her hazy, muddled reality
of unspeakable memories
that cannot exist,
lest they drive her deeper....
to a shattered demise 
 
Her childhood dreams 
stripped cruelly of their parts, 
allowing her mind to wander
in an unconscious state of grace
from hungry teeth marks
left on her innocent, delicate skin
 
Cheap neon lights bathed
the trashy, shoddy floors
that smell of stale cigarettes
and booze in seedy, darkened bars 
Dangerous, dingy, low rent neighborhoods,
leased by lurking, slovenly men
who try and grope her every move.
 
She sits on a bar stool
sipping amber, colored water
from a dirty, shot glass
waiting for drunk, greasy men
to approach, handing her
their rumpled, grimy cash.
 
Two dollars a dance~
to the tune of one weary, old song.
Or ten dollars an hour
to some bleary eyed man
for an endless moment
she'll dutifully belong.
 
Shadowy features, biting at her heels
Unnamed creatures
gripping, ripping her heart
into clawed, broken shreds of steel
from many wounds that cannot heal

One sad morning, 
the headlines of the daily news
printed one more obituary
of a life badly abused.

Her parents were sent
a note from the club
 that said:
 
"Your daughter used to work here,
        will you please stop by....
     and pick up her clothes and shoes?"



 
 


Details | Alliteration | |

Work Aint Honest But It Pays The Bills

They say when life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Well the niggas i know work and its not honest, but it pays the bills in the words of badu because she gone tell you the truth and ima give you the scoop on a livin troop who got the boot because he didnt wana shoot a dude in the same resemblence as hisself but he still work, its not honest, but it pays "his" bills. -Afro_Kira


Details | ABC | |

Fruitless Cycles

retched, a stomach twisting curdle
sour, the bile that rises from malcontent
tearful, yet, tears are futile, a waste of water
understanding seems never to come or come too late
all one can do is suck it up and try to love again



Details | Didactic | |

Second Thoughts

Why we always look away
From what our eyes desire to see?

Then we think
‘I should have…’

We look back
And we can’t see

It walked away -
We let it be

Why it always walks away
When we want to give a try?

We look back every day
And we pray for one last stand

Then we think back in regret
‘Why i hadn’t…’
Each time we cry

One day we will forget-
The day when we die


Details | Free verse | |

The Piano Stand

I was sitting at the piano stand,
cracking my hands, getting ready to play,
when a man walked in, no one knew who,
he was, because no one had seen him in a while.

He sat in a chair, his hair so blonde and long as could be,
my hand touched the piano key,
I realized it was my dad not that it was bad,
just why was he here, i can't bare to see his face.

I stopped playing,
I started saying,
How mad i am for his fame,
He walked out of the school in shame.

I wondered why he was famous and what for,
He left me and my brothers to be poor,
For some other.

I can never forgive him,
but i'll let him live on in his fame,
for i have nothing to shame.
For i knew he would not claim,
me as a daughter or friend.

I moved my hands from the keys on the piano,
for i have moved on to another Piano Stand.


Details | Free verse | |

Light To Dark

You think you’ve gone just far enough,

I could smile knowing you’ve gone far enough that you can’t go back again

You think you were careful but,

I’ve caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form

You think you can find a way into my good graces

I’ve seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume

You can’t deceive me anymore and, I don’t consort with serpents

You think I’m a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win

Don’t underestimate me

You think I’m a joke but, trust me you won’t be laughing

You think I’m just talking myself up but, trust me, you’re the ones going down

My eyes took too long to adjust

Better late than never

It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours

My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep

Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet

Then I thought about the mess it would make

I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own

I was not weak, but I had a weakness

A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care

No longer

Now my heart is a stone so heavy

I could kill at least two birds at once 

Being the nice guy is a thing of the past 

Thanks for freeing me of that softness

You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things

When really I had just been swallowing razor blades

Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong

Can you feel my darkness coming, because it’s eager to hold you

If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run

Your gonna be the one with tired feet

I’m not sad anymore

Just sick with the plague of your lies

Contagious, and I’m looking for someone to kiss

Even angels can make themselves wicked

When we do, we take no prisoners

Still think I’m a game

This one is just beginning


Details | Free verse | |

Drunken pen

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart 
It no longer feels, nor my eyes cry
My tears are lost in the trees 
My mind so drunken confuse and scramble
Hurt emotions fall with the rain
My tongue stuck under a rock, for what can I say

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart 
It no longer feels, nor my eyes cry
My spirit is floating in the river
My soul is trapped in dreams
Hurt emotions fall with the rain
Feet stuck in quicksand, for I can no longer walk

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart
It no longer feels, nor my eyes cry
My tears and spirit are lost in the trees, and floating in the river
My mind and soul are confuse,scramble and trapped in dreams
Hurt emotions fall with the rain, I cry each and every day
My tongue so sore, I no longer speak
My feet so weak, I no longer walk

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart
No longer feels, what you want it to feel


Details | Rhyme | |

Dark Side Of Love

He used to be so fun and happy
Now he seems so sad and angry
He never seems to smile anymore
I’ve never seen him this way before
I just want my old friend back
The one who could always make me laugh

It only got worse as time went on
It was then I knew my old friend was gone
He started to get far and distant
I tried, but I couldn’t make sense of it
I started to wonder what went wrong
Was it something that could be undone?

I can see the evil gleam in his eyes
It’s all part of his journey to the dark side
Looking back I can’t help but feel it’s all my fault
Even thought it was his own choice to join the cult
I know there’s no one to blame
And in the end he couldn’t be tamed


Details | Free verse | |

hello I'm here

Hello I'm here 
less than 10 miles away
Your supposed too be my family 
but yet you won't give me the time of day
You pass by my house on the way to get gas or to the store 
but yet you won't take 5 minutes too come up and knock on my door

Hello I'm alive
You can pick up the phone and call 
I wait day and night but not one ring at all
Everyone changes their numbers but no one gives it to me
I'm guessing that is because it's how you all want it to be

Oh hi there I see all of everyones online post. 
I see one uncle now a grandfather of twins also, congrats about that
one cousin bragging about track, another being a sisterly brat
a aunt who is having troubles of her own and scraping just to get by
Everyone pushes me aside, black sheep I've always been not sure as of why

Hello family I thought I was supposed to have
You have all forgotten about me but I have not you
I have nothing to offer nor food hardly in my house 
but I will pray for each and every one of you and hope that you dreams come true


Details | Free verse | |

Stranger

You saw me and your lips they did smile
Giving me strength to walk that extra mile
The fear of rejection, its shackles I broke
And mustering all my courage, to you I spoke

Your words melodious like the chiming of a bell
Your small talk and stories, and oh! The way you would tell
I listened absorbing every note, every sound
I knew it was heaven I had found

We were inseparable; we were soul mates you would say
Just thinking of you would make my day
And I felt I was in a dream, walking on air
Seeing the cool evening breeze sway your hair

But now you stand before me and my heart echoes my fears
With no strength to even wipe away my tears
You say you want to live in a world that does not have me
Away from even the faintest memory

You say if I’ve loved you, I should set you free
Let you fly, take wings to the sky that beckons thee
And now I am dead inside with emotions few
You seem to be someone, I never knew


Details | Free verse | |

A Mindless Society

Solitarily I stand,
In an attempt to understand the brutality of my brother,
And prostitution of my sister.
Each one for the survival of their own.

My thoughts are shielded by a dark cloud of confusion
As I begin to grasp society’s hold over our lives,
How we are classified by this very same society,
Each one in their own lane.

Lifelessly, we’re marching,
To the tunes of an off-key society,
In lines pre-conceived for us,
We have not a say.
Driven by naivety, 
Ignorant to the senseless violations of our clear thinking ability;
Propaganda in its ultimate state.

Murderer of joy is the society in which we dwell,
Lacking logic justifications is the society I once thought knew it all.
Abandoning me in my most vacant state is the society I once idolized.

I am incarcerated by is chains of deception and hate.
I defy all odds.
An endeavor to walk free. 
As they pace down my cheeks, tears cause controversial whispers amid society

If this is the norm of our lifetime,
I dread my days to come. 





Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shadows Of Pain

Hollowed eyes and tortured soul 
Spitting words that didn't flow 
Forcing smiles that always faded 
His memories fond, distorted and jaded
Ups and downs, half smiles and frowns
His mind was spinning round and round 
A heart bigger than a sunrise sky 
So numbed he left and didn't say goodbye 
The darkness seized him, held him tight
Squeezed so hard life became a fight 
A fight to eat, a fight to breathe 
Hatred flowed and emotions seethed 
He never forgot and never forgave 
The angst inside him dug his early grave
Handsome groom, number one dad 
The best friend I truly ever had 
Woke up one day not feeling well
Couldn't take this life in hell 
Began his journey to what comes after
Mom comes home, finds him hanging from a rafter 
Terror sets in and shock takes over 
In a blink of an eye their marriage was over 
Two nightmarish calls, one to each daughter 
Cries and screams like lambs at the slaughter 
And so we march on, soldiers in a state of shock 
Thinking it's him, every phone call and knock 
Now, I hope, his tortured soul's at peace 
But we, the survivors, are haunted with memories and grief 
Does the cycle continue - depression and shame? 
Will I follow my father through the shadows of pain?


Details | Free verse | |

Theatrical Life

No drama,
Criticized,
No scene,
Criticized,
No theater,
Critized,
No life,
Criticized,
No death,
Criticized...

A hipnotic spell,
A happy comedy,
An impact of tragedy,
A depressive sorrow,
A constant paranoia,
A living psychology,
A passing psychiatry...

An endless beginning...


Details | Free verse | |

Loss of innocence

Houses lost, friends go away…
Then others I’ve never known…
Some areas worse, some less…
But all have seen the scar…

Empty homes with vacant eyes…
The bank will own the loan…
Won’t let lose their precious prize…
Until they’ve made a score…

A few will pass thru many hands…
Most will wait with time…
In the end we all lose…
With tears in our eyes…

The only winner any where…
Is the bank that still holds on…
There was really no doubt on this…
As the monster gobbles more…

As still so much is lost by all...


Details | Hybronnet | |

Faded Life

Stuck in a situation, Not knowing what to do? Blocked from all directions, Tired of being sick, throwing and feeling weak, The people I thought I can trust walked away, I am tired of selfish people, I am tired of being alone and fighting this without any support, When this should be your responsibility too! All you want to do party and play, I am tired of facing problems one after another, I need peace, relax and have nothing to worry, Yet you bring hell to me! All you care about is you and your career, While I give my life and risk everything for us & baby, I give up my family, my car and now I am broke and homeless, And all you care about is you and your dreams, It bothers me how you think & blind to see, My dreams and goals for my life is in the trash can, You keep asking for respect yet you cant even understand your women, Without a cause there is no effect, I just wish you would understand that! This is not about who wins or looses! This is about us fixing problems togather as ONE!


Details | I do not know? | |

Leave love to the brave

LOVE shoves us into glistening meadows,
Of unimaginable warmth, where ecstasy glows
LOVE also leads us to teary graves,
Of uncontainable darkness, where pain enslaves
So, teenage girls trotting over,
To find the four leaf clover
I say, leave love to the absolute brave
‘cuz, It’s more than just a fluttering rave!


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

They said her time had come- Death by insurance

They said her time had come
No place to run
No place to hide
No time for fun
Just an empty vessel inside
Going through the motions
Numb.
Overwhelming emotions
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Evil coats
She wants to run
She desires to have fun
Not understanding why she can not play
It is now the month of May
Another denial letter
Another denial to get better
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Why such looks of sorrow?
She doesn’t understand
For there is always tomorrow
Evil coats
She takes a breath
Smelling all of the flowers
No place to hide
Now literally an empty vessel inside
They said her time had come

Her time had come
Her bald head 
Just four years old
She looks to comfort from her mom and dad
Why do they look so sad?
Evil coats drag them away 
She never got that chance to go out and play
Beep. Beep. Beeep.. Bleeeeep….. 
The room floods with long white coats
Now to heaven this little girl floats
Her time had come

They said her time had come
She was just a name
No money, undeserving of fame
Easy for her to be denied
If only the suits had looked her in the eyes
Who is to blame? 
Sent to the free clinic
Now dead at four
No insurance
Ooops! What a shame…
She could have been saved
Now two parents at her grave
Once a happy family, now destroyed
Because THEY said her time had come


Details | I do not know? | |

What people might think

People may say that i am a spoiled little brat.
    Only becuase they see what they wan't to see.
   We all have been through things in our life time that we just want to forget, but we just can't  seem to forget.

My mom has put me through many things "but lets not say" in the past.  And i have learned from some of those things.  It made me a stronger person inside and outside. 

  I don't know my father at all. I wasn't even born when my mom was around him.
 But i have a loving family.

I would never change my past even if i had the chance.  Becuase if i did then i wouldn't be 
where i am now.

 People who are out there that are judging people based on how they act or look, are stupid. Wise up and grow up... 
Those people you judge have a GOOD reason for the way they look or act.
 And maybe they need some one there to talk to. To get things off their 
back.

                        Just like the saying. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"



*just something  that i had to say* :)comment if you have a thought (or fav poem if you like it)*
  
                                        


Details | Rhyme | |

Binge and Purge

Musta lost five pounds today
hunger hurts
but I suffer anyway
stomach shrinks 
along with guilt
hope this improves 
the way I'm built


Details | I do not know? | |

A Walk Alone

Quick as a blade lunging forward to claim a life, is this darkness falling upon me. Whispers of a sorrow, known so long ago, float in the thickness of the night. Twigs snap in the distance, I turn but my eyes fail me.. My own hand in front of my face goes unseen... then, all becomes quiet... 
   Walking along a gravel path, each step makes the pebbles unearth and dance along side me until coming to a halt.. Searching for even the slightest sign of light.. my head tilts towards the sky looking for the moon or the stars to show me what little comfort they could offer.. I am alone. Even they have abandoned me on this wicked night. Owls hooting in the midst of this forest, as if to let the rest of the forest know I am here.. and I am alone.. the wind at my back shows no mercy on my path to find light.. it taunts me, urging me to run as if it knows something I do not.. As soon as that thought was finished, a screech! 
   Snapping and cracking from branches being broken in a direct path to me. Finally I can take it no more, rendered so helpless, Frantic, I run blindly with arms reached out in front of me to take the blunt force of whatever I may run into.
suddenly, there is a loud "THUD"...
   The screeching stops, as do I.. Heart pounding intensely, it is as if it is not my heart at all, but drums being played.. Lungs threatening to collapse as my knees buckle. Tears of fear streaming down these burning cheeks..
whats that? Foot steps! I ask myself, from where? I spin, there!
   Don't scream, don't move..  Crouched down low to the ground. Eyes burning from the rush of tears, heart wrenching and twisting between my ribs.
A light! Scared, I stand.. One moment passes and the next I'm running... but why? Light is what I'm searching for! No..safety.. from fears and my pain... 
   This forest is a manifestation of my fears.. I must face them!
My feet come to a steady stop. Turning to face the enclosing footsteps.. My adrenalin is fading I can now feel where the broken branches had their way with the bare skin of my arms and legs. I can feel the lumps forming.

The light!
Eyes shut I cling to a nearby tree.. deep breaths in, deep breathes out.. bracing myself for what is about to come.

My eyes dart open...


Details | Rhyme | |

What If You LOST EVERYTHING



"What If... You Lost Everything?" What if your "luck has all run out?" "No one listens" no matter how loud you shout. What if your life has come to "a dead end road." You've lost everything... Even your car's been towed. What if all you have "suddenly disappeared." As the storms of life have “appeared." What if you got on your knees in prayer. Knowing there's a God who really does care. What if you gave Jesus complete control. Giving him your life, heart and eternal soul. What if Jesus gently wiped away your tears. And his peace calmed all anxiety and fears. What if you realized at this moment in time. Jesus is worth more than a large gold mine. What if he restored that you've lost & all that's been tekan. With him on board... You're never forsaken! An abundant life is that he promised to give. And he will enrich your life each day that you live! By JIm Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

I Burned A Picture Of You Today

                                                       
The highest regard I had given you,
my most esteemed relation.
Where trust and love would multiply,
between an intimate circle of two.

A confidence shredded and violated!
Love scattered in a cold wind.
Your deceptions rusted the chains.
We became indifferent enemies.

Erase our unpleasant episodes I cannot.
No drug could blot out this accumulation.
Medicine will not heal this hideous scar.
You have damaged my intimate humanity.

Time will deflect the blow to my person.
I will reap strength from perseverance.
May your darkened path be lighted!
The flames from your picture haunt me no longer.



Details | Rhyme | |

A Nursery Rhyme Of An Ugly Kind

Poor little girl named,
No..I won't say who,
did not know what to do.
She has a great burden
that she must carry
given to her 
by a trusted man,
who was close and married

He told her not to say
how he stopped her at play
to teach her his many lewd
and ugly carnal games.

So in fear
she would be to blame
and in fear
of her love ones hurting
that poor little girl 
promised never to say
and now must carry
that enormous burden.

Written by me in the eighties for a child abuse campaign. Revised 2013







Details | I do not know? | |

The White of Your Eyes

As I look at the whites of your eyes
I feel horror, fear rumbling inside me.

I grind my teeth together when I see you walking.

I fear you, I fear when you talk, shout, when you raise your hand.

I'v always feared you, but no more.
The fear I had of you I turned it into courage.

Now I no longer fear you.
I laugh when you raise your hand, when you shout.

Cuz the only thing I see you as...
Is a dead man walking.

And now your in the ground where you belong.


( If you may PLEASE comment of Mail me. Sorry i havn't been on in a long time... ALOT has happened this year to me)


Details | Free verse | |

life now

the life that you have now 
is the one you will cry over when you are removed from it 
it happens that many lives are taken 
away from the now and when we lived 
the can’t grow fast enough is bicycle hard to catch up to 
crispy in leaves, and, bare under the bark


Details | Light Poetry | |

Memories Remain

Photographs are taken away

Memories of a lifetime are forgotten

Dust has been scattered over all the fingerprints

Dishes packed away

Telephones are no longer ringing

Clothes still unused

Records are no longer playing

Blood still remains on the carpet

No more sunshine

No laughter

Just the haunting silence

The dead still appear in the darkness of the corners

The clock rings that same old lullaby

Its too late to say goodbye

But not too late to make up with the ghosts








Details | Narrative | |

He'd Just Discovered Suspenders

No job 
No prospects
No optimism 
It took all his energy
Just to fake a smile 
Health eroding 
At the speed of light 
His world grew smaller by the 
second 
Former small pleasures 
Transformed into ambivalence 
Blank and numb 
He walked blindly 
There were no solutions 
To any of his problems 
And then one day 
Out of the clear blue sky 
He smiled without effort 
I even caught a glimmer 
Of a spark in his eye 
Life became a little more 
pleasant 
We all cheered him on silently 
Me his number one fan.

As his confidence had 
diminished 
His gut had grown larger 
He wore his belt below it 
But his pants always slid down 
Far enough to annoy him 
Another problem 
With no solution 
One day, after months 
With the spark in his eye 
He chose to die 
It was a shock because 
He'd just discovered 
suspenders.


Details | Limerick | |

Times Running Out

The days seem so much closer together now , It is hard to keep up. Months click by me like weeks . Is this my time running out.
 I seem to lose things more often then I remember annd sometimes I need help . Am I going to forget it all before my time runs out.
So many more soreness it seems and I am sleeping alot . Will I sleep my days away? 
My dreams are confusing to me , I sometimes am not sure what is dream and what is real . It wont matter cause my time has run out.
It's a wonderful thing this life we have , But it is much better when your time runs out. That' what this life's about. Flow with time and dont worry about time running out . 
Tac


Details | Narrative | |

SOUNDS

                 




              Morning came as whispers in my ear slowly says echoing I love you
  The embrace and let go of the warmth of the sun and sheet move it was a cue
         The voice echoing that whispers in my ears again says do you hear that?
                 The gurgle of the coffee, and the smell of caffeine in the air sat
             A determine voice still echoing says it is time for you to get up my love
                         As I open my eyes I look outside as I see one dove 
              Cooing me, and it's bright white feathers has gotten my attention
     As I looked around my dream of my love disappears as it put me into depression
                  A sadness crackled into my heart, and a discerning look came to
            I wake up every morning hearing her voice in the summer morning dew


Details | Rhyme | |

Too much times past

Inspiration is just so hard to come by
But I though i 'd found something
That would last
But I guess to much
Times past 
and I never really
Knew my dad
But t ain't something 
Cry over
Cause in just a few years 
............. ( it 'll all be over )
I'm tired of your  lies
I guess to best we severed all ties
But this ain't bout you 
It's bout me 
Even though you
Ruined everything
The damages are to big to repair
So I guess its better to 
Act like you don't care
But 2 can play those games 
It's not like I ever needed you here 


Details | Rhyme | |

We Have A SIN Condition

We Have A Sin Condition! We have more technology, but we have a problem! We have many “issues.” And don’t know how to solve them! Governments answer seems to be “spend, spend, spend.” But we have this condition, that God calls; SIN! Just look at the problems that are all around you! It’s amazing that they don’t “overwhelm you!” There’s all sorts of evil all cross our land! But there’s something very few understand! We’ve sent men to the moon and outer space! Yet very few reach out and receive God’s grace! The Bible says, “the heart of the man is sinful.” Without God, man’s heart is never “peaceful!” Jesus love provides for the world that fails us! He offers his love! Simply because he loves us! There’s no “condition.” His love is freely given! Won’t you accept him? And be totally forgiven? Where there’s sin. God’s grace does much more abound! There’s a new life for you! Just waiting to be found! Our sins for his love! What more could one ask? And enjoy a love and peace that will ALWAYS LAST! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

The end game

Monuments all around our plot bare ground. You used to be my best friend. Now I’m left with nothing to shelter me from the wind. You say times of loss, the wounds that wont mend. A lock box for your heart, no chance the key will be handed to me again. New friends abound. Looks like you been getting around. Nights out on the town, no longer home bound. This I’m truly glad, your anxiety vary sad. Although a little mad, I never got the chance the others have. Hurt and lonely I’m paper. I’ve cut myself to shreds. Now frantically taping, the strips of me together again. Actively seeking the pieces I can’t seem to mend. You are origami. Three dimensional, your beginning to stand out. What beautiful folds you have made. Carefully crafted. I always knew you’d make that grade. I don’t feel played. Though it hurts just the same, as we play out, The end game


Details | Narrative | |

Chance

Chance

By BJ Welsh

With life and living we take our chance
Nodding in agreement to a furtive glance
Waking up each day is a chance we take
That life will deliver us for Heaven’s sake
We awake each sunrise with a hope reborn
Chance seeing an other suffer and torn

It’s one other’s life you see at a glance
Hoping for approval, it’s but a chance
The life you witness as others pass
The pain inside may subside, alas
Hoping to see one as you
The chance you take to find two

Running out of time the clock is ticking
Chance there are others whose lives aren’t clicking
Great as that may be, the chance you’re all alone rises
Furtive glances from beneath disguises
Chance that hiding the pain and hurt won’t last
The agony you feel will not be fast

Chance you soon become discovered
In your waking hours its’ uncovered
You’ve lived a life of hurt and pain
 The chance you’ve taken may have been in vain 




Details | Lyric | |

My Struggles


My Struggles My mind grows weary. My eyes are teary. My heart often skips a beat. I toss and turn through the night. My soul and flesh continue to fight. I do what is wrong, but I desire what’s right. Inside I burn with fury, But outside I appear cool as a Winters breeze. A great storm is in the near future. Who will intervene before disaster strikes? Who will save me from the strong winds and hail? I can only pray that all goes well. I can only pray to survive this shipwreck. I can only pray to reach shore and be able to breathe again.


Details | Cinquain | |

Eyes On Me???

Eyes on me,
People watching,
In my direction?
Can't they look somewhere else?

Feeling uneasy,
Discomfart rises, too.
Afraid to mess up,
Afraid to fail.

Eyes are on me.
I feel pale.
I freeze.

I don't want
The attention.


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Story about a Girl

I have to tell a story
About a girl who had no glory

Out Spoken,
Yet so broken

Being rude,
Always in a mood

Never had luck with guys
They will take one look at her and realize,
That they want her friend in the dazzling disguise

She felt very unattractive
Yet wanted to be active

Always taking a back seat
Never felt strong enough to take the lead

On a low,
Wanting no-one to know
The true beauty inside, who wants to burst out and show

She started to analyse and delve
Within herself

Believed that there was something within her,
She just needed to stir

She became beautiful and bold
She discovered gold

Humble and kind
With an open and wise mind

She realized the fight was never external
It was always internal

She is now happy and content with her beautiful soul
She has reached her goal 
Her inner beauty is what makes her glow
Yes from insecure to bold she did grow
The way she sway her hips when she walks
The kind words she says when she talks
Her heart filled with love, compassion and integrity
This is her serendipity 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Falling Into the Darkness

Falling in love is one thing

Falling in the darkness is another

Falling in the darkness is where time becomes to a stop

Falling in despair

The sorrows of the past comes rushing in

The faces of people around are just a blur

All you hear is the silence

The gripping silence

Where your breath becomes hasty

Everything becomes meaningless

You close your eyes and hope its a dream

But its not

Its the same old play

The same characters acting their part

Same curtain drawing in, marking the end of the play

But the play is never ending

Beging pulled into reality is just another second of escape, but 

You simply don't forget the play


Details | Rhyme | |

Does Family Really Matter Anymore


A family had a wedding...  The brother wasn’t invited.
The fact they didn’t want him,.. 
Was already decided!

When asked why his name had been “omitted.”
It was because of past wrongs he had committed.

The words spoken, one could hardly believe it!
Any kind of forgiveness? 
 They didn’t receive it!

How many times are loved ones not
 invited to “family occasions.”
Often times, families listen to “outside persuasions.”

Someone does something, 
that may not be liked.
Then they’re often told to “go take a hike!

No wonder why many families 
battle one another!
They have failed to truly love each other!

As we continue to see families drift apart.
This often leads to a wounded 
and broken heart!

Christ gave us his best!  
When we were at our lowest!
A life of mercy and forgiveness…  
He wants to show us!

If we can’t treat one another
 as Christ commands…
Then HIS way of family living….  
We’ll never understand!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

On the line.

I put my heart on the line, 
But you hung up.


Details | Haiku | |

SLUMP

facing depression
enduring the agony
constant state of angst


Details | Light Poetry | |

uncolor

this world is bleak,
everywhere i look is the same
dark and dreary black
and plain boring white

oh how i would miss 
those clear days, that i could ook into the sky
and see for miles and miles
now all the sky is ugly dull and boring

and the color of a red delicious, juciy apple,
all i see i see is a black blob of nothing

but most of all, all the bright different 
flourescent colors of my favorite t-shirt

how dull the world would be
not to see the beauty of someone's eyes.
no baby blues, big browns, or jadey greens
just dull, boring, white, black, and grey.

a bleak world is a boring world.
without color, everything looks the same
everywhere looks the same

no diversity,
no ethnic difference

look at those two people,
are they different?
yes. but you can't see it

this world is bleak

but the thing i would miss the most,
the thing that makes everyone feel good
after the most devestating of times
a rainbow. its colors are what  makes this world, 
sparkle glisten, and shine
after a storm

i think that i shall never see,
something as beautiful as a rainbow.

belak, everywhere i  looks is the same.
this world is bleak
all the colors gone like the wind
on a breezy day.

all i see is dark, dreary, black
and plain, boring, white.


Details | I do not know? | |

irresistible FADED memory

My heart is crushed yet is hushed,
I feel rushed, 
Six years was long,
I felt there is something wrong,
When I am with you, I don't feel strong,
Strongly feel things are prolonging.

Promises that you made,
Nothing came along, yet it fade.
Time is wasting into nothing,
Nothing worth while to keep.
We are still in step one,
My veins are popping out of anger,
My head is blowing out of pressure.


The storm has come,
My face is blank with no expressions,
Should I run?Panic?Relax?
Sorrow comes with a flow,
The mistakes that I made it shows.
Scared to face my fear,
Yet is near my dear,
Running without a parachute,
Walking on the clouds,


Not sure where life is taking me?
Curiosity kicks in,
Was all this a a long dream?
I want that dream to be true,
Your multi-personality is suffocating me,
Feeling your unpleasant status,
Makes me not want to be with you,
Question,questioning, questions?
You are unbalancing my weight,
I have always know that you are the one,
Until you ruined everything of my existence, 
With a long distance,
Now you made me unsure,
You are changing in a bad way,
I am scared to love you,
Because I don't recognize you as you.


Details | Free verse | |

I Have The Evil of You

I have the evil of you
Caught in my hands, entangled
Like the arabesques of Eden's vines
Just like paradise, but why should shame remain
Singeing like immolation of Peter's Inferno
These reddish-purple chains convolute myself
as the grapples shoot out from the clouds
both below, above me
The self-lovelust propelling 
You did this - these plagues
You drag me down - to your cage
Cadaver Vampire - I am your slave



Details | Free verse | |

why daddy

dad you were my hero!
the one i wanted to be just like.
everything i did was to make you proud...
you walked out on us...
i know i wasnt a perfect child...
i just wanted to feel love from you

mom always told me that you would be there for me
you were until i disappointed you...
i thought parents were supposed love their children no matter what...
you didnt do that
 you always put me down 
told me i was such a shame to the family

now that i have grown up
i relieze life is better with out you in it...
and i no longer wanna be just like you
i could never walk out on my kid
you sicken me...
how could you give up the child that you gave your name to...
i understand you have other kids
but to just give up and not have anything to do with one of them
and to not let that kid know his siblings....
i could never do that 
no matter how much my kid disappointed me...

i found my hero...
he stepped up even tho he didnt have to...
he treated me like his own...
he was there when i needed a daddy and you werent there...
he was there at my worst....
and he is there at my best...
he will be my best man when i get married...
my kids will know him as grandpa...
they will never know you 
cause i cant risk you hurting my kids
the way you hurt me...

the thing that gets me the most is....
how you made it look so easy
did you even think about the lil boy
who carries your name and...
has your blood running in his veins

i dont think you did...
and if you did you are
a heartless piece of crap

even after all you have done to me...
physical, emotional, and mental abuse...
i forgive you...
not for you but for me so i can move on with me life


Details | Lyric | |

Mask

I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
My whole world just spins round and round.
I put it behind me, but it comes back and bites me.
I'm fallin down,yet my past just haunts me.
Memories are burned in my head,
I dont want to remember this,... again.
I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.


Details | Free verse | |

The Truth is Better Left Untold

To say goodbye to painful,
I'd rather just walk away.
Turn my back on love and hope,
Then see those blue eyes
Pierce my soul.
I guess the truth is
Better left untold.


Details | Rhyme | |

Boobies

You take life from the deserving,
Strip strong women bare;
Tear a hole inside us,
Til we fear what might be there;

The lives you take are precious,
Though you discard them without thought,
Regardless of who they were,
You leave them all to rot;

You make us fear our bodies,
That which we should be proud;
Brilliant and beautiful women,
You leave off feeling cowed;

The disease you spread destroys us,
Cuts out our hearts and souls,
But the worse thing that you could do,
Is leave us feeling un-whole…


Tirzah Conway

~To Christina, she fell while fighting the Cancer battle~


Details | Free verse | |

CONFUSION

                            A MOMENT OF RACING THOUGHTS

   In my world of confusion,I am stuck in a deep hole
of sadness.I have so much to be happy for yet my
mind spirals downward constantly.My sadness over
comes my ability to enjoy the many good things that
I have.Depression is a silent killer that will haunt you.
Some people just don't understand.My heart goes out
to others but has no feeling for myself.My thoughts 
and feelings are said through my words.Sometimes
anger steps in.I am often misunderstood and unable
to accept kindness from others.I have so much love
to give and expect none in return.As long as I am
alive I will do my best to help someone in need.
There is one question that no one will ever have an
answer for.What is normal?In this world of confusion,
I will always be stuck in a deep hole of sadness.

                                                       COLLEEN MARIE BONO

                                                           APRIL,16 2013


Details | I do not know? | |

The Storm

Rain falls on the roof
Each drop plays a familiar note
I toss and turn no sleep to be found
The storm rages on

A chill fills the summer air
My body aches with fear and longing
No comfort to be found inside
The storm rages on

Raindrops hit my face
One by one, they awaken my senses
To erase fear, doubt, and sensibility
The storm rages on

Lightning streaks across the sky
I am blind to the dangers ahead
In the flash of light I see only hope
The storm rages on

As fast as it came
The rain starts to fade
I retreat inside my shelter
The storm rages on

My thirst overcomes me
I am consumed by the need
To feel the rain on my face again
The storm rages on

The stars shine like gems
On a cloudless night
I toss and turn no sleep to be found
The storm rages on


Details | I do not know? | |

Forever Love

Your gut feeling
Tells you it’s real
Yet he’ll tell you
It’s no big deal 

The trust and lies
They run so deep
Forever Love
You wish to keep.

The hints he gives
But will deny
Living this way
You sometimes cry.		

The trust and lies
They run so deep
Forever Love
You wish to keep.

Can you believe?
The truth is told?
Phone calls to her
Seem rather bold.		

The trust and lies
They run so deep
Forever Love
You wish to keep.

”Do not worry”
For this you say
“We are just friends”
You talk each day.		

The trust and lies
They run so deep
Forever Love
You wish to keep.

Your vows you took
They did not say
Having this friend
Would be okay.		

The trust and lies
They run so deep
Forever Love
You wish to keep.

So torn apart
This life you lead
Choose me or her
For which you need.		

The trust and lies
They run so deep
Forever Love
You wish to keep.

You turn your back
Been here before
I hate to see
You shut that door.		

The trust and lies
They run so deep
Forever Love
You wish to keep.

I can’t do this
For you must choose
If it is her
Then me you’ll lose.		

The trust and lies
They run so deep
Forever Love
You wish to keep.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Heartbreak Choke

You dont see it coming

no one ever does

but its only a swallow away

so count them silently

and hold them dear

because the next one comin

you should fear

you will know when it comes

and know so clear

that this one coming

is your last

because heartbreak grabs you

hard around your throat

and there is no way to escape

so you just choke

and you can wish for death 

and it's not coming

and that my friend is

The Heartbreak Choke


Details | I do not know? | |

Was it just all a DREAM?

You feel like your lost in love?
  Me. Many times.

     like when you hear his/her's voice your heart just *skips*
Or when you see them walking towards you....you can't breath.
 When you had your first kiss.  But not their's. but they still thinks it's cute.
Ya'll talk 24/7. Non stop. 
When he/she just stare's into your eyes you feel butterflies EVERYWHERE through your body.

But... when they stop talking to you, you get worried, scared.
 Or when they don't act the same way that they did when ya'll first were together.
  You don't know if its over or not. but you get confused and you can't work up the courge to 
talk to him/her.

                       Was it just all a DREAM? you'll soon find out when you talk to him/her.


*comment if you please. just want to hear your thoughts (or fav poem)* :)

                                                                              -Angel4eva23


Details | Rhyme | |

Aftermath

Blowing out the light of another had the same effect on mine
For nothing could deter my mind away from that gruesome thought
Coming home brought me closer to what I wished to leave behind
Funny how something can worth less than what it actually cost

I was sickened by the act I had committed
Though the deed was done with the purest intent
My return home added to my disgust though I refused to admit it
To the smiling faces who thought me to be Godsent

My loved ones was overjoyed that all was well with me
A thankful gleam in their eyes as they led me to the house
But all I could seem to think about was that other family
Lighting hundreds of candles for the one I had helped burn out

It was at that celebration held in honor of me that night
That I finally found what I sought upon going to war
To see people praising me for what they concluded was right
Is the very reason we will never achieve what we so dilligently fight for

We are convinced threats to our safety lies in foreign countries
Which is by far a misguided assumption in itself
For in order to rid the world of terrorism in its entirety
Is to collectively discard the half of one's own self

It was a harsh realization as a matter of fact
And one that I hoped had not come so late
But there was no way I could ever give back
The very thing my duty left me feeling inclined to take

My epiphony weighed every bit of heavy on the mind
So I bowed my head to the floor stained with dirt
And I silently prayed that the healing powers of time
Would someday mend the hearts of those I knew I had hurt

I asked forgiveness for the lot of the world
For my unjust actions and my many sins
But specifically from that little boy or little girl
Who wishes daily for their parent to come home again

A tear slid down my wind whipped cheek
At knowing that the satisfaction I so long ago sought
Would not grant my consciene the peace it so desperately need
A lesson that took ages to prepare but in a heartbeat was taught

My soul had grown weary of the evening and it showed on my face
So I bid farewell to the guest as I took my leave
And I went where war was more suitable to take place
To my empty house where I was left only with my memories




Details | Free verse | |

Why Stay

What do you do when your dreams bore you
And tomorrow is just another today
The world looks like multiple shades of gray
And I didn't even want to live through today

What do you do when you've lost all hope
Lost and done with having no fun
Not even trying to cope
There's no reason for me to stay
I'm not even ready for today


Details | I do not know? | |

Gold Star

Sometimes I sit and ponder
what it may be like
to have parents, not always 
looking for a petty fight
the love you feel, always
being there for you
day o' night

I wake up fighting a
constant battle,
I feel like I am in a circus
having to jump through hoops
my parents hold
to earn their admiration and 
approval

Earning their gold star
for the day
I was a rebel since day one
not trying to conform
dancing to the beat of a 
different drummer

Wishing to be accepted 
for who I want to be
and how I seek to spend my hours
nothing I ever do, seems to be good
enough

They talk about "emotional deposits"
i.e. spending time with them
but they spend too much time
picking and proving
reacting wrong, saying ignorant assumptions
they push me away, each day
'further and further I go
as soon as I make enough money
I'm gone

They act as if my artistic mind 
couldn't make money
like my dreams are distant relatives
of which I will never meet
but I strive to prove them wrong

Its bad enough being
one person versus the world
but when the army you fight
is led by your family, your blood
it's twice as hard to get up
in the morning, when the suns
rays dance on my closed
eyelids 

I try my best to be the kind
of person I want to be
despite their efforts to kill off
my individualistic soul
I have given up trying
to belong to which I 
was born unto
I'm simply playing the game

Hoping to win, one day
the chance to be myself
as I feel emulates me,
and regardless
have a proud
Mommy and Daddy
I do pray, I shall be
 free to be 
Heather Rose Marie


Details | Free verse | |

Finally Forever Done

I’m on ground, while you’re in the clouds,
You’re in the then; I’m in the here and now.

How come our channels can’t get a signal?
But I still feel the pull of your chords.
Are you getting bored? 

Tired of me complaining and I’m tired of waiting!
For the things, that should come naturally, like trust, love, respect,and intimacy.
I’m afraid but prepared indefinitely. 

I know my new energy will bring forth something that’s healthy.
God’s already secured my wealth and my safety.
I’m finally, forever done.


Details | Verse | |

Tear a Heart, Shred a Soul

She sat alone
Against jagged stones
Carving her misery into them
Watching the blood, red and worn
Retell her sorry tale

The ocean waves crashed at her feet
As if trying to warn her
As if trying to tell her something
"He isn't there anymore"

But she won't heed the angry voices
Nor will she try to move
Because the ocean reminds her too much of him
His blue eyes, and cold heart
And a midnight summer charm

She waits until it fades to black
and the ocean looks like a black abyss
Then she hopes it will swallow her
leading her to him

Maybe the ocean will take pity
And lead her straight to hell
And into her long lost love open arms
Where he's waiting for her

But the ocean refuses to open
And refuses to let her drown
They try to tell her that he isn't there anymore
She has no reason to cry

Tear a Heart, Shred a Soul
No difference will it make
Unless you head the silent whispers
That he is waiting on the sand
Beneath the moon
Watching and Waiting for her return

His tale too is a sad one
For she will never come back
Her ripped up mind
Her beaten body
Lay in the ocean, buried deep
Waiting for him

(i have the same poem up on a different site...username XxUnforgivenxX)


Details | Haiku | |

away my boy joy

looks like refinement
from outside boiling pot in
cool calm big fat lie

her tears tear me up
along with the depression
pukes on everyone

away my boy joy
morphed from this to that kid to man
overnight success






Details | I do not know? | |

TIME

Time
is all I've got
and even though others wish
for more
I can not stand 
another minute

Time
Seem like I´m going backwards
and even though I wish
for a return
I am not likely
to find my way there

Time
trapped in a paralyzed body
and even though my family wish
for me to live
I can not find one
single reason to do so

Time 
captured in total emptiness
and even though you wish
to understand
I am not likely
to explain anyway

Time
hurts when one is waiting to die
and even though life may wish
to go on 
I can not see any
dignity in it


Details | Sonnet | |

Unreal

Like roses on a thorn I never knew
 What I thought was beneath and what was there
 I look inside and all I see is you
 And there I found I actually do care
 More than I deserve, you make me feel
 Am I awake? Or is this just a dream?
 Heart Beats, with a tear and my thoughts unreal
 Perhaps this world is more that what it seems;
 I hope someday you'll see what I see
 Away with your pity and no more sighs
 You'll look inside and tomorrow we will fly
 You'll change and the sky will darken its hue
 Whatever you become I will still love you


Details | Free verse | |

death

Time fell fast 
Things became hard
Worries were vast
Lives begain scared

Hopes endlessly hidden
All things seemed forbidden
Days filled with darkness
Lives consumed and left sparkless

Awaiting the doom
Sitting only in gloom
Heaven wept
No souls were kept


Details | Rhyme | |

Smudge

A smudge on the mirror
Thats all I can see
I cant see the eyes staring back at me
My vision is blurred
My sight unclear
Why cant I see when I am so near
To the person on the other side
Still I cant see the tears she's cried
Before me the image is a lie
For it can only show the outside
Not the truth that's held inside
Behind the eyes that I cannot see
For the smudge is keeping it hidden from me


Details | Lyric | |

For the Dying Orphan

I let you die for my name As you reached for my hands Out of waters of drowning What a hypocrite this writer is The Hatred of Solitude Letting an orphan dream Then destroy him with knowledge Of what you have done He opened up to you In new ways But in nostalgic guises The springwinds whisper blithe yore But the winterwinds, much stronger Caress you with the dreams of your funeral sky “It was you… it was your fault… Letting the one who was so open to you Be the laugh… the piece in the game…”


Details | Light Poetry | |

Horror Cracking Through

When horror knocks on the door

Slips through the cracks and enters the body, mind, soul

Fast like an avalanche

Traveling at million speeds 

It’s the same long forgotten nightmare

Every Breath

Every Whisper

Every Sound

Becomes too familiar

When falling hard to the cement

The shouts, the screams, the reminiscences

All comes too fast

Then life comes to a sudden halt

There's nothing left, just pieces of a lifetime slipping away


Details | Rhyme | |

It's Something...

The light of my depression,
The joys of my sorrow.
What's coming my way?
I'll know by tomorrow.


Details | I do not know? | |

Light child

A child is born
all loving, forgiving, honest,
a special child of the light,
eyes wide open, awake,
the wolves are happy,
to feast at the table of its suffering.
Feed it just enough love to survive,
milk it of its light, little by little
suckling its love, its forgiveness,
a sweet delicacy for a vampiric world.

The child becomes a young adult...
control, conformity, submission,
overwhelming expectations,
no freedom, no love, no peace,
a barrage of others suffering,
cant get it off me, out of my head!
out of my heart, it hurts!
Its all too much! 
Why do they all hurt me?
Why are they not honest like me?
How can they be so mean to me?
What is wrong with me?
I just want a taste of love, 
to remind me why I am alive!!





Details | Narrative | |

6-11

6 a.m

It is time to wake- 
After being bludgeoned by sleep.
A quick brush 
And a quick wash
Off to the bus-stop in a quick rush.

It’s another day 
To work for a pay
Loose soap lather-
Sticking senselessly by the tip of the ear
And white Vaseline still to sink in the hair.

This life is a rush
Get late and get fired
No one cares if you are tired
Or couldn’t spare the time for a notch.

Brown suit,
Black trouser
Loosened zipper
Man! You are a walking sleeper.

We all filed-up
Looking like men heading for the concentration camp,
Yawning helplessly from an unfinished sleep.
This city life,
Is just a life of strife.

We hop on the bus,
So eager to seek solace in its confines.
Heads hanging loosely,
Snoring trumpets at its crescendo.


11 p.m

Free from the day’s toil
But held captive by Lagos traffic.
Sweating and panting from heat,
Squeezed like a crumpled note at the back seat.

Dinner on third-mainland Bridge,
A stick of gala and Asala*
With a bottle of water to quench the hunger.
 
It’s business time for the street urchins
From Iyana-oworo to the bridge that links Alapere,
They disguise as beggars-
Or hide in the shade of dark like scavengers
Watching out for victims to prey on.

The day weans itself away;
Broken down vehicles,
Long tankers stealing the lanes,
Pedestrians ignoring the bridge,
Hawkers shouting their wares,
Tanker horns blaring like hooting train.
 
Six to Eleven of our lives
Stolen by the struggle to survive.
Office pressure and less leisure,
Street madness and no cure.
Traffic Thieves,
Problematic Passengers,
Howling Hawkers,
And Lazy-ing LASMA**
All add to this insanity.




* A Yoruba dialect for Walnut 
** LASMA reference to Traffic Officials of Lagos State


© Ayinla Muyideen Adeleke


Details | Free verse | |

I Never Knew

I never knew that you loved me so, 
you never really let me know.  You
always tried to pretend that you were my
love until the end. 

Then one day when you confess to me,
that all I was in your sight was a tiny
little pea.  That you know how much damage
these words did to me.

I never knew you thought so less of me
and now, I know this is the way it will be.
You never told me not once before that 
you were planning on walking out that door.

I never knew you had all these feelings and
emotions about me inside of you, they are
so terrible until I am really afraid of you.
Is this something you planned to do?

I never knew a person can pretend so well
and all along was nothing but hell.  You made
me think that I was alright with you and there
were nothing going wrong because you were
true.  

All of this has been corrupt, now I got a taste
from your bitter cup and it is enough.  Now
my love I never knew that you were the one
I loved so much and yet in still you caused
me so much pain and hurt.


Details | I do not know? | |

Protection

You offered me protection
Protection from the past
Protection I longed for
Protection that could never last

You offered me love 
Love so real
Love so open
Love to help me heal

You offered me trust
Trust I never let in
Trust so free
Trust from a true best friend

You brought me insecurity
You abandoned my love
You lost my trust
You just flew away like a pretty white dove

I will now protect my heart
I hope to find love someday
I will never trust again
I think my someday has turned to gray


Details | Rhyme | |

The Numb

Please accept my apology,
 my life, 
has been more like,
 mythology...
 
Accept that, I do not understand;
 Accept, that I can no longer,
 play this hand...
 
Punish me, 
though, 
do not condemn me..
 
Allow me the light,
 Another chance;
 Different sight...
 
This myth that is I;
 This vision,
 I cannot hide..
 
Accept me as I come,
 Recycle me,;
 Take away,
 The Numb...


Details | Verse | |

I blame me

I blame me for all my mistakes
I blame me for all the rejection and heartache
I blame me for all the times I stayed silent 
and should have started and earthquake
with my words
I should have spoken up when I had the chance
now all those thoughts are wasted
unspoken, unheard

I blame me when my husband touches me 
and I feel the hands of a predators pounce
And I blame me when the pressure it on
because all I had to do was shout out and renounce His name
Lord, help me to get rid of the shame

I blame me for my loneliness
I blame me for my feelings of lust
I blame me when I look at myself and see absolute disgust
I blame me when I shut down - unsure of who to trust
At times not even sure if I really know how to love

I blame me when my kids are crying out sick
because when I brought them here
I knew that this world was unfit
Yet overpowered by my love for them 
I became more and more protective
So I blame myself in advance for their sadness
when they finally see that the world is not objective

I blame me for those nights I can't rest
Wondering if my consciousness has finally realized
that I have done my best
to stay positive and have good intentions
So I blame myself when I give in to temptations and my human inhibitions
and begin to feel ashamed of myself
I begin to feel like I don't have enough strength to love myself
because
good things don't happen for me
So I blame me for my thinking and feelings of worthlessness

It's a big world and my lonely soul has no more confidence
I have nothing
I have given up 
and so I blame me for my incompetence and my soul's rut


Details | Rhyme royal | |

ALONE IN THE DARK

I am holding back-against time wishes,
Lurking at a corner, as I forbid the slayer to find me
My heart beats and screech like a choking-engine,
Whilst the snarly sinister hunts - wishes me burnt to ashes
I dare thought to be a bee - 
So tiny I could fly and disappear from the scene.
But so lame a thought like that can help a soul.
The frightening night wants me feed to the ghoul.
Hidden – I have stayed long, linger I can no more.
I’m all alone in the dark, bruised and with a leg sore.
Escaping is impossible!


Details | Haiku | |

Fire

Destroys the Darkness, Shining brightly like the Sun. Burning, destruction.


Details | Narrative | |

Up Late

-Inspired by my temporary English instructor, Mr. Phinizy <3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Evening had diminished to night; how very quickly did She fly It is funny how quickly time passes, as if our brains tweak the clocks of life The night was of moderate warmth, and my house suffered terribly still And with the stifling heat inside, many hot questions filtered through my mind I asked myself, Where did the summer go? Why must our suns die? Why is it sweltering in September? Why has sudden anger blown her aside? I really need some sleep, thought I, looking at my face through the murky glass Tracing dark circles under my eyes, I was reminded of sagging Death longing to ensnare me Yes, Death followed me that night, dwelling upon me, boiling away the autumn breeze As I looked into my sleep-deprived eyes, I knew Death waited for my ultimate slumber, When all commemoration of time, that flew so rapidly before, suddenly just…stops. With many a sigh, I turned on the faucet, soaking my hands in the cool, flowing water I needed some relief from the heat…I needed a refreshing new idea, I needed cleansing Anything to clear my mind of the negativity daring to break me every day of my life For such depressing thoughts spewed forth like a wild river, the rapids racking my brain But these waters were not living; they were dead and hot like blue blazes of hell I turned off the faucet, for there was no Balm on this earth to sooth this soul There was no clock on this earth tweaked enough to return me to earth The warm breezes, the sickly pale cast of many thoughts had driven Her away And though the everlasting sleep of Death sounded soothing, the Balm does not assuage me… It only burns forever, in obstinate constancy; angered to the core, That night stuck in this fractured rhyme of time, I was up late…too late


Details | Rhyme | |

My Secret Garden

Branches and ivy lifted like
A flimsy sort of solid shield,
Wind whispers through the keyhole as
My secret garden is unsealed,

Petals tremble fearfully,
Mistrustful of this open plain,
Both buds lean in towards the light
Whilst trying disinterest to maintain,

Sun flares upon my frightened flowers,
Blinking from their lifetime of night,
'Too much too soon', they seem to cry,
Withering beneath the blinding light,

The clouds arrive to comfort them,
Too late; my garden's dying,
As I soothe it with regretful rain,
The satisfied sun is sighing.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Am I Wish

I am a Robot
Who cannot feel
The shame that sweeps over me
I am a ghost
Who cannot be touched 
By your wandering hands
I wish I were a God
Who could send you to hell 
To be tormented for eternity
I wish i were invisible
So the stares would slide away
I wish i were superman 
To save others from my same fate
To save them from monsters
          LIKE YOU


Details | I do not know? | |

Incognito

A witness to screaming silence
Bloody visions of dreams in violence
A wishful trap to seduce
Hiding behind a door within recluse
Nothing becomes what already has
Reality unfreezing blowing past
Leaves that fall search for wind
Against thy fate your unable to defend
A scream by visions unable to sustain
Into the mouth of madness I seek to maintain
Whatever it takes is the key to pretend
Yet a brand new start forbidden to begin
Words that are said remain behind
Treasures forgot so easy to find
Beyond my lessons explain my reasons
Just as whispering winds change with seasons
I escape my pleasure and acquire so much pain
Everything to loose which is all to gain
Enslaving madness within a dream
Forever changing things that seem
Social insult becomes the only one
Mixed together escaping fun


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Rhyme | |

Who Or What Can Fill Life's Empty Void

Who are what can fill your life’s “empty void?”
In spite of the many things
 that you have “enjoyed.”

Drugs… Sex…  Money…  Are you concerned?
Has your life been one that’s
 taken “the wrong turn?”

There’s many choices to make.  
I’m fooling you not!
But there’s a godly principle
 that must be taught!

The void we have.  Only the presence
 of God can fulfill!
Bringing you true love, 
is God’s purpose and will!

Won’t you take a moment
 with the king of kings?
And allow him to take control of everything?

Jesus will never disappointed you!  
Not now or ever!
He wants to be your friend! 
 Today and forever!

The God of this world and universe, 
wants to come in!
A Brand new way of living…  
Is waiting to BEGIN!


By Jim Pemberton


Details | Light Poetry | |

Die on the inside

Your in my gears
Cover me in tears
From head to toes stained in your blood
Just act like it's not there
An embellishment amongst a prayer
Feeling of left alone covered in disppear
Dying to cry or crying to die
What your doing to me is killing me inside


Details | Concrete | |

Not Realizing By Being Incomplete

                                      It was you who     could make my 
                           heart have little tiny feet.  That will go through 
                       any obstacles for yours & mines to meet.  Together 
                    forever, mines carrying yours like priceless treasure
                    No need for my LADY’S heart to have sweet tiny feet.  
                     It’s only I doing the walking for us. Going up our lane 
                      of love directed by our God, and the angels singing 
                         from above.  Connecting both minds constantly 
                             thinking; knowing; believing we are to be.
                             Actions showing we are not dangerously 
                                   but experiencing true love. Though 
                                       now realizing by being incom-
                                             plete is sinking mines 
                                                  hoping yours will 
                                                        never miss 
                                                           or skip a 
                                                              beat. 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Shadows of The Ghost

I feel like running away from it all

Escaping into the night where I can dispapear into the darkness like a ghost

The ghost that goes back to the past

That stays in the nightmare

The past is supoose to be a reminder of sweeter times

Now its known for

The Horror

The Pain

The Blood

The Agony

I had no intenion going back there

Now that I can no longer run

I have to face it





















If


Details | Light Poetry | |

HARD TO SEE

                                                                   Water In My Eyes

It’s hard to take off, when you’re left grounded.  Something lost I can’t find it.
 I can’t see my way anymore, I need a guide

                                               “Hard to see with water in your eyes”

A feeling that comes over you, it comes and goes 
Often now putting me to my knees, a thirst for knowledge has grown.
Interpretations given to me, I want to fly but I’m stuck on the ground is what I realized.
I can’t see my way anymore, I need a guide


                                                “Hard to see with water in your eyes”

You carry those you lost and offer you in their place, all you have are the memories a heart ache, a still picture of their face. Quest for knowledge you have shown, you can only save yourself when it’s time to kneel at the thrown. Interpretations given to me, still unable to fly I can’t see my way anymore, I need a guide


                                                      “Hard to see with water in your eyes”

Arms out reached in front of me, waiting for a touch back to assist and help guide me, I know your there even in the open air, as the breeze passes by pushing out the water in my eye.
 Looking to the sky before it drips drops and it freezes. As u notice only your sign the one only you can see. If you found it it’s meant for you to continue to believe. Before you know it you’re looking up into the sky. You see clearly through a dry eye. No more needs God has heard you and now he will guide you.

Walking a set path try to live a life right. God will always give you your way of sight.
Keeping faith is all for just such a reason. It’s nice to see through all life’s seasons. But almost daily it gets blurry and things change size.







                                                      “Hard to see with water in your eyes”
                                                                                 By Paul J Williams Sr
                                                                                 


Details | I do not know? | |

Another Untitled

Life is so confusing, 
So tired of the hurting, 
So sick of the abusing, 
I so just feel like crying,
I wish that I could just,
End the pain and sorrow,
There's no one I can trust, 
And it won't get better tomorrow, 
I just don't understand why,
Though my life's been only bad, 
I always have to try, 
And I can never be mad, 
Everybody's hurt me, 
In one way or another, 
But I guess that I should see, 
That this pain will last forever, 
But still I must go on, 
Even though I do not want to, 
And I have to be strong, 
Even though I wish it were through!


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

Living,  
yet not looking forward
just back and forth in thought; 
should I or should I not
set myself free
or 
live in complete dismay
stuck in this emotional sway.


by Ana Espinola Collins


Details | Light Poetry | |

What Do You Do?

What Do you do if the world begins to crash into pieces What Do you do if time comes to an end What Do you do if you are slowly losing the one you love What Do you do if you fall into the darkness What Do you do if you can't find away out of the mess that you didn't create What Do you do if you are feeling sorrow and melancholy What Do you do if life begins to fade from the tip of your fingers What Do you do if you know that this isn't right What Do you do if you suddenly take a different road What Do you do if you been so blind to the things around you What Do you do if there's no escape What Do you do if theres no answers to the questions


Details | Verse | |

Dear my heart

Where is your home, my heart?
Why are you silent?
We went through many things.
We were living life.
We lost the last that we have gotten
But still there is no end.

You are confused, my heart.
I feel it.
There are so many roads which
Lie before but only God
Does know which one will lead to
Paradise, and which one straight to hell.

Where is your home, my heart?
I’d love to know where to go.
Who is for us?
Who will protect us?
Who will help to find the way?

We forgave so many people, heart.
So many things we left undone.
We split into the pieces our vision.
The life that is unclear we gave up.

You are not broken, heart.
You are not tired.
I feel you beat still in my chest
But why all the time are you so silent?
Why are you so afraid?


Details | I do not know? | |

Living With Alzheimer's

When my nana first moved in,
I thought it would be terrible.
I figured that living with someone who has Alzheimer’s,
Would be hard to deal with.
And it is,
But not for the reason I thought it would be.
It’s hard seeing the mind of someone so smart,
Turn into a mind similar to a child.
It’s hard seeing her like this.
It’s hard knowing that she will never be the same.
She used to be brilliant,
The head nurse at Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto.
But now,
Now she’s at the same mind level as the patents she once had.
She walks around everyday,
Not knowing what’s going on.
She gets sad sometimes,
And doesn’t know why.
She finds some little things amusing,
And others annoying.
She used to be so stylish,
But now she’s all mix and match.

When you live with someone with Alzheimer’s,
You must remember to be patient.
Their minds work as if a big ball of yarn,
And when a string gets pulled,
They put something there to replace it.
Most of the time it does not make any sense,
But once in a while they replace it with the right word or two.

Imagine if everything you knew,
Just disappeared.
Imagine if everyone you loved,
Just went away.
Imagine if all your emotions,
Just came all at once.
Imagine if your entire world,
Was turned upside down.
Well that’s exactly how someone with Alzheimer’s feels.

I didn’t understand how hard it would be,
To see her everyday living like this.
I didn’t understand what it meant to have Alzheimer’s,
Until now.
I didn’t understand the full extent Alzheimer’s has on the mind,
And on the body.
I just simply didn’t understand,
And I still don’t.
I don’t know everything there is to know,
But I do know a lot more then I did before.
There is so much more to learn,
And I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.


Details | I do not know? | |

Heart-Shaped Razorblade

i live no more, out of the veins, and onto the floor, 
blood drains from me, from this life, 
my life i shell live no more.

deepest cuts with a dull razorblade, 
the blissful sight of the redness in which i lay, 
the smell of the unpurity, and frightened souls, 
the darkness in which falls over me, 
my life i shell live no more.

consistant with the thoughts, the thoughts that ponder me, 
the sick little twisted games that you played, 
so sick in tired, life is un-inspired, 
lost hope in a world, life is no longer a desire, 
in this life i dont want to live no more.

the dignity in which i lost , in which you took from me , 
at my verginity it cost, ravaged you were like a caged animal let loose, 
into a society that excepted you, 
but as a scared little girl you took with out fear, 
the only thing that i had to hold dear, 
now i take this life of mine in which i let it free,
and grab the razor blad that will become the death of me, 
in this life i dont want to live no more.

inocence you took from me, the moment your hands were placed upon me, 
the look in your eyes when you grabbed me, and the pain you forced on me, 
with a grin on your face, and the laugh in your throat, 
i screamed out in pain, and i know i said NO, 
i fought to servive, i fought to be let free, 
but all you wanted was your way with me, 
in this life i dont want to live no more.

sweet blissfulness, and control, while i hold the razor that cuts my wrist, 
lets the demons free to roam at peace, a peace with out me, 
addolsent fear caught up with me, 
the games are over, now im free from the life that you took from me, 
my life that i live no more. 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Particles Of Light

Alone is when reality doesn't exist anymore

Alone is when the one person breathes for rebellion

The speed of madness soaring through the human body at million miles per hour

Taking a different road than the one intended

Taking the high sprialing road

No longer a person you know, but a stranger

Instead of reality

Fireworks covered the sky

Everything was perfect, but only for awhile

Then the crash of blackness encircles like a haunting cloak of death

When the last breaths of life come too close

The only thing left to do is replay memories of happier times

Hoping not to die in this distorted state

Then suddenly reality caves in

And all thats left is to watch those particles of lights come back





Details | Rhyme | |

The Girl Who Could Never Understand

There was a girl so free and young;
untouched by the darkness she was yet to become.
Not yet grown up but wishing she would.
She didn’t realise it would make her numb

There was a girl who dreamed of the future,
who wished of being smart, pretty and free.
She told herself it take years to understand,
When it actually only took three.

There was a girl who became obsessed
with things such as looks and grades.
Every time she ‘messed up’ her confidence slipped:
until someone told her about a blade

There was a girl who was once so innocent,
never before heard of self-harm,
but suddenly she knew how to cope!
All she had to do was cut her arm.

There was a girl who was dead inside-
Not understanding the darkness she had become.
She grew up too fast just like she wished:
Now she’s dead because she felt too numb.


Details | Naat | |

The Way Towards Great Hope

Prayer gift of the Spirit
Makes us men and women of hope
Prayer keeps the world
Open to Eternal God

To pray alone is good
Even more beautiful
Fruitful
To pray together

Many ways to become acquainted to Him
There are experiences, groups
Encounters, Courses
To pray

Take part of parish liturgies
Be abundantly nourished by the word of Eternal God
With active participation
In the Sacraments


The baptized
Confirmed by the Eternal Holy Spirit
The Holy Eucharist, communion
So as to live as authentic friends and witnesses of Father Christ


4202013


Details | Ballad | |

Deirdre

 
Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? I can sence her embrace that feels like Tragedy A heart to have, slipped beneath the waves The dark pulse now beckons us closer How many days will this passion bleed away? We will be the ones left to blame Beware we’ve become their prey They say you’re addicted to your pain A lifeless cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper too close to the edge A call from the dark Brings out a saving spark An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? “My Decadence was just for you Though you’d never care what I’ve been through Enter the world were empathy is clandestine A world created by you, just for me What’s Lying in my heart is why You want to through the stone” I call your name towards nightfall’s reign But they take you so far away A dark angel so divine Cursed by Eden’s heart I will avenge every tear An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone?


Details | I do not know? | |

FEAR!!!!!

I RUN from FEAR.

I HUNT for FEAR.

I HIDE in FEAR.

I FIGHT cause of FEAR.

I'm FAR from you.

I'm SCARED cause of you.

You're the FEAR that I HUNT.

You're the FEAR that I FIGHT.

You're the FEAR that SCARED me for LIFE.

*Comment if you have any thought and if you like it. oh and some of the poems i write arn't 
always my feelings. their some times just to get through other people so they can have 
something to read that just fit's them.*

                                              -Angel4eva23


Details | Sijo | |

Obsession

This poem is written in the form of a Sijo. A Sijo is traditionally composed in three lines of 14-16 syllables each, totaling between 44-46 syllables. In a Sijo, the poem is either thematic or narrative
Line 1 introduces a situation or problem
Line 2 provides a conclusion, which usually begins with a surprise
Line 3 resolves the problem or releases the tension by providing a memorable ending.

********************************

This poem has a total of 45 syllables.
Line 1 consists of 14 syllables
Line 2 consists of 16 syllables
Line 3 consists of 15 syllables



                     **Obsession**

His smitten intuition, disturbed by every suspicion,
Like an addiction, fueled aggression, he craved her affection,
What started as just muffled cries, ended in a fatal night.



Written by
Rashana King


Details | Rhyme | |

In A Hotel Room

Why did they go? They always go,
Whether they saw me I simply don’t know,
They’re here for a night and then go away,
And leave me behind, all alone I must stay,
And wait for the loved ones to whom I belong,
But I’ve been waiting now for ever so long,
I’m starting to think that they’ll never return,
But I remember those faces so full of concern,
On the day that I fell into the old hotel pool,
I never did master swimming at school,
But somehow I pulled myself out from the deep,
And came back to this room where my parents did sleep,
My Mother’s blue eyes had turned red with her tears,
Just as any mother’s whose child disappears,
I don’t understand why they just didn’t see,
That I was standing there just where I should be,
Then they were gone, leaving me here in this room,
Sometimes full of life, sometimes cold as the tomb,
Why did they go? They always go.


Details | Lyric | |

Letter To A Friend

Dear friend
Where do I begin? 
I got so much on my mind
Sometimes I wonder where we stand
But my emotions is bout to explode
Like a volcano when its eruption
And your name came in mind
When it came to reach out for a hand
I’m overseas fighting
With mortars flying over my head
Bullets traveling toward my frame
Fighting for something I don’t understand
I’m crying cause I need help
And here I don’t have a friend
Today I am alive
But tomorrow I might be dead
And man with this
Always on my mind
Got me scared for the fact
I don’t know if I’m running out of time
Usually I call you
But I have to write this on a line
Cause my voice is so shaky
I can’t say a word but jus cry
To me you’re like a brother
You are always by my side
That’s why I’m writing you
Even though I feel shy
You always seen me tough
But never seen my sad side
I hate that I feel like this
Even though I don’t know why
And I think you are the only person
That can really calm me down
Even though in my eyes
I see death all around
Blood on the sand
Body parts on the ground 
Sometimes I think to myself
How do I stay alive living with a frown? 
But knowing you’re here for me
Is enough to hold me down
Jus writing this to you
Is making me feel better right now
One day we’ll sit down and talk
And on my face you’ll put a smile
But I hope that day comes
Before I’m the next dead person found


Details | Free verse | |

Today Time Stood Still

Today time stood still, I could see existence in its clearest form. A vibe of coldness and silence, yet peaceful and reassuring, you could almost imagine it to be the same feeling of initial death. 

The curse of knowledge and intelligence is you know too much. Sometimes that ignorant bliss seems attractive, but even if given the choice I would not go back, as the more I learned the more i seeked. 

I pray for humanity and the will of the people, the story draws close to the end and with hope I watch . . . in the end good will always prevail, Amen


Details | Prose Poetry | |

I Hope You Know I'll Always Love You

I am what you call a hopeless 
romantic,
But im also a lost lovers cause, my 
heart belongs to another
Yet in my head a love triangle starts 
to form, the girl I love doesn’t love 
me
She holds the heart to another and 
mine caged to the floor,
She isn’t afraid to fight for what she 
wants, not even when it comes to 
leaving another man torn
Trust me she’s happy, as that boy 
holds her heart ever so close
Seeing what I shouldn’t I smile as I 
wear my blind fold,
Blind to everything around, lifeless 
staring into air
My train of thought running so fast, 
the second I stop you’ll hear a crash
Derailing my hope, for ever finding a 
love so pure & rare
Wishing I could hold the hand of the 
lover who stole my flame,
Wish I could change the last days in 
which we parted ways,
Realizing now that we can never be 
the same
Finally saying it out loud as tears run 
down my face
You stole my happiness, as I walked 
away that day
But it’s because as of what you said 
I guessed I changed,
Now every relationship has just be 
the same,
No one can seem to bring back that 
flame,
Because a love likes ours comes 
once in a lifetime
Well at least it does to me,
But I mean you’re happy with who 
your with 
I mean I only wrote this as I heard 
exchanging “I love you” flow from 
each of your lips.


Details | I do not know? | |

Good Morning, Apocalypse Now : A Tribute to a Vietnam Veteran

Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)

My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he 
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast 
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now. 

Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier. 

Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet. 
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid. 

He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil, 
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.

When he speaks a calm 
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and 
bravery and how 
he continually fights against 
the "Apocalypse Now".


Details | Narrative | |

All About Her

I dont know much about her
but I heard she wasnt that talkative
She didnt like being alive
She was numb to all the pain she had to go through

I heard she didnt like anything that was green
She ate roman noodles everynight for supper
She always wore flannels and bellbottoms
Sometimes i seen her wear dresses and fancy tops
But lately shes been wearing band shirts

She wears converse shoes and uses an army bag for school
I know that she dosent like to communicate through talking... only through her peoms
or sometimes even her songs.

I see her drawing and painting all the time
She draws famous people
She would like to be famous and not so unknown
When she tries to speak to anyone they always walk away and leave her alone

When she gets home she goes upstairs to play her bass guitar
She hates chocolate cake but loves chocolate
Her family left her behind because she cant forget her past

Sometimes when shes alone she contemplates the meaning behind her life
Her favorite color is gray because her life is black and white
Everything she says is false according to the world

She is not so innocent
I understand that she dreams about the perfect life
When she opens her eyes they are pitch black

She is someone that is fake
She acts nothing like she should
She is very grungy and unclean

She knows of no safety
and of no time
Her life is smashed into pieces by the giant sun

She will always be a ghost
She knows of no god
She crawls around in the world of death
She remains forgotten


Details | Romanticism | |

Betrayal

Love is betrayal
A knife in the heart.
A stone that breaks my bones
Love is betrayal,
that lies to you about dreams of care and kindness,
but stabs you in the back
with disloyality
when you are not looking.

Is it possible for a writer to face so much heartbreak?
Is it possible to be faced with so much pain,
that if I had a penny for every time I'd had my heartbroken
I'd be a millionaire five times over.
It is true,
I am not lying to you;
why should I?

Love is betrayal
I can't take the pain anymore
to feel such pain, I'd rather whether just ask the Gods
to strike me down with painless and peaceful death,
and sleep as the faceless faces come and place lilacs
and roses upon my chamber of the dead.
What killed this lonesome writer, who loved everyone,
but was showed no love before?
I heard he died of a broken heart,
and that was what it was... A broken heart.

Love is betrayal,
trust me
for I cannot waste a single moment more
feeling this pain deep in my heart
that tears at my soul and heart with shapened talons.
Keep sleeping, with your eyes so blind,
can't you see what you are doing to me?
If you'd feel my pain, you'd sit down with me and weap.
It is easy to read these wordless words, that probably have no meaning to you.
To me this is poetry that sings songs of sorrow,
that fuses my heart together and plays songs of saddness
as I sit in a lonesome cell, praying for betrayal to leave,
leaving not a single trace of its existence.

Love is betrayal,
a knife stabbed deep in the heart.
A stone that is thrown at my mirror of transperanecy.
Can you see the pain that love has given me?
I was brought up to believe love is a magical thing,
a true feeling that makes you think diffrently about strangers.
Strangers are strange, with blind eyes
they cannot see what they do too me,
when they blindly stab away at my heart with their heated blades.

Love is a betrayal
that goes behind your back
and laughs at your sorrowed soul,
and as you turn to them all, they come all with smiles and hugs.
Once I turn again they laugh again,
and take their blade and stabs me in the back.
And I cry, but no one stops and listens,
No one cares, truely cares for my sorrow.
So, I wipe away my tears
remove the knives from my heart,
and I walk down the lonesome boulevards
Listening to the sorrow cries of lovers kissing on park benches.
Then I slowly awake from this dream,
but I cannot, for this dream is not in a surrealist piece of work,
for it is realism at its best.

Love is betrayal... love


Details | Haiku | |

Clock Poetry

Time ticks and could trick
Could go places unnoticed 
It can kick and trip


Details | I do not know? | |

I Saved You

I worry about you,
Especially when you talk that certain way.
You have that sadness in your voice,
And claim you want to throw your life away.

I'll tell you this:
Life is a raging fire,
Something that is constant and dangerous
Not a calm horizon bliss.

For all the things that are now,
Is what makes up who you are.

Not the lies and deceit from others in your past,
Not the torture of living with whomever your living with,
Not the pain that you heart has been through,
Not the sadness of thinking you're an outcast.

What is here and now,
In this moment of this day,
From the time you wake up,
Til the time you rest and lay.

Forget yesterday,
Think about now.
Know that people love you and care,
Even if THEY don't show how.

But I saved you,
I saved you from making a mistake.
I'm glad you're here and alive,
For to lose you, would be like losing a part of my life.


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers In A Cursing Wind

Whispers in a cursing wind
Anger in stormy skies
Rain falling like mournful tears
Fear in the heart
Panic and torment
in the mind.

Peter Dome.Copyright.2012.


Details | Rhyme | |

Love Me Or Leave Me

Your confusing me, 
playing with my heart,
telling me you love me, 
then breaking me apart.
Make up your mind,
I wont keep waiting around,
I wont keep falling, 
if i'm only going to hit the ground.
If you love me, I'm yours,
If you don't, that's fine,
Just please tell me, 
so i'm not on the back line.
Don't spare my feelings, 
I don't like being lied to, 
I'm a big girl, 
Ill make it through.
So just be honest, 
whats on your mind?
tell me you love me, 
Or just leave me behind.


Details | Bio | |

Time will tell

He speaks with high tones
He loves me
Do I feel the warmth his heart bleeds for me
Now, only from the outside
I am now cold as it seems
My children feel the anguish in my heart
I pray I find the reason not to be alone  
Can I have a chance to get back my inner dignity
Does it still exist 
Dignity
Do you think we are capable of being one
Truly united
To give it all
All they say, will keep true love true
True love is a falling promise 
A burning sensation
Confusion is sometimes mistaken for love 
Break that promise that was made
Hit me between the eyes
To forgive is not to forget.


 


Details | Free verse | |

Tear in My Heart

My mother never knew what to do with me.
I was an obligation that needed to be. 
But I wanted her to love me.
Simply… love… me.
I would do anything to please her.
Wanting her to be proud, I worked hard at everything I did.
But she viewed me as her competition, not wanting to be out done.
Needless to say our relationship wasn’t what I wanted it to be.
I dreamed to have a family of my own to simply… love… me. 
I had a daughter who didn’t live. 
And my mom said someone like me shouldn’t have kids.
Though she didn’t know about my epilepsy and other problems with my health.
Then my life fell apart with hard times everywhere.
I didn’t show it but hidden…my health wasn’t all that good.
My husband’s diabetes affected his mind. And epilepsy was working on mine.
I ignored that fact. I worked hard as my epilepsy kept tearing every thing apart.
Finally with a hard earned job… Fourteen years later I had a son. 
The son I’d always wanted to have.
I was so very proud but was attacked by both health and son, at every turn.
He was wilder than most creating problems everywhere.
He blamed me for everything and everywhere something went wrong.
My health did it again at work as my relationship continued to crumble with my son.
He hated a mother who had to work, had epilepsy, and just wasn’t there for him. 
I was slowly dying when he was 12 and I was 52, when finally I was saved.
That night… I met God and he said I had more to be done along the way.
I came back and did every thing I could to help my wayward and unruly son.
But way before I helped him go to college… I knew I had lost my son.
But his best friend needed a mom so I was there for him.
It seems so strange to tell, but as my son moved out… His best friend simply moved in.
And it’s even stranger to tell that… 
The son who will occasionally smile at me, is someone else’s son.
He’s my heart-adopted son and has brought my first son closer again.
Jesus was always here and… the tear in my heart is gone.


Details | ABC | |

You text Me

You text me today
Saying you wanted me back
I text you back
Saying your to late
That I done decide to move back home
It's like you expect me to forgive you
after you rip my heart out
I'm sorry
You do not get a second chance
To hurt me again
Sorry
I can't forget things you've done to me
You lied
You cheated
You toyed with my heart
After I gave my self to you
The best you can do
Is leave me alone
So I can pick up the pieces of my broken heart.


Details | Rhyme | |

Kardia Thief

This story is as old as time
But it feels new to me
A girl to whom I'd give the world
But it will never be.

Why is it that I have no say
In what my heart desires
My sadomasochistic mind
Which starts internal fires.

My subconscious is mocking me
And laughing at my sorrow
It ceases for the shortest time
Just to return tomorrow.

I try to shake this futile dream
But I can't help this feeling
Inside my heart
Which part, by part
She's unconsciously stealing.


Details | I do not know? | |

Concluding Statement

My distraught, the thought, has lost a battle unforgot. 
I take, I give, the very words I live.
I've done, The sun, outrunning the only one. 

My actions are not my own, a story, I've stitched, I've sewn. 
I wait, I learn, my destiny turning to fate, I cannot see in my current state. 
The pain is neigh, a calder or a bite, my fatigue outweighs my might. 

Crowned, sound, the darkness reaks no havok. And atop I take the stand. 
Demand, reprimand, the status of your rendzevous. 
The story's conclusion, I cannot seem...
to find the tragic end to...


Details | I do not know? | |

Empty Words

Trust, that painful word without meaning,
Trust a Father, he hurts you, 
Trust a friend, they desert you.
Promise, that pointless word never kept,
Promise you'll always be there, you won't, 
Promise you'll not say a word, you will.
Believe, that greedy word that everyone wants, 
Believe in family, they split up,
Believe in in God, he ignores your cries for help.
Love, the worst word, never practiced,
Love life, it becomes a curse, 
Love anyone, they leave you, hurt you, or worse. 
I trust only one, a sister to me, 
I promise, but don't often keep, 
I know not what I believe,
I love cautiously!


Details | Rhyme royal | |

WHAT IS YOUR REASON

What is your reason
You became so mad
What is your reason 
You treated me so bad

What is your reason 
You threw our love away
What is your reason 
Your love is not here to stay

What is your reason
You couldn’t be married to me
What is your reason
You stole on me

What is your reason
You cause me to cry
What is your reason 
Your force me to say goodbye

What is your reason
That I am not in your home
What is your reason 
You want me to be alone

What is your reason

Max


Details | Prose Poetry | |

What the hell did I do

What the hell did I do..

This question posed aggressively
now in my conscious mind.
I bury my head in my knees,
and sob relentlessly asking why,
and mumbling man you really did it this time.


Party at my place he screams,
and Man you don’t ever stop by.
These images scroll the Rolodex of my subconscious side.
Try this it will make you feel great!
You’ll have no worries for at lest the next eight.
Doesn’t that sound great!


That’s when it hit me,
like a shot straight through the heart.
I parted my metaphoric sea shore,
my arms, my legs, they are the oars.
Swimming through the blue abyss,
always watching close for shore.
Then little by little always needing more,
and more.
The hours and days went by,
oh my god how I was high.


My euphoric mind never pressed for time,
no matter the dime.
Clouds on the horizon a thunderous sky.
It was even getting late,
and the moon began to pull at the tide.
Looking back I see this was going to be a very long ride.


Pushing forward toward the shore,
limb for limb, tired and sore.
Screaming, hurry up and get here,
where out, and have got to have more.
Then the lighting began to show it’s power,
and the wind had the waves in a roar.
The rain stinging torn & chapped skin.
I began to lose consciousness, now at a merciless Drift.
Pulled way out,
fast and swift.
Their would be few that would adore.
As they wonder how long,
before I’d wash back ashore.


What the hell did I do..
This question,
posed aggressively now
in my conscious mind.


Details | Triolet | |

You There

You there!
Did you know?
Did you see?

You . . . the one
Who tipped my glass
And let it fall to shatter to pieces

Did you know . . .
That to shatter a window
Would lead to chains and bars

Did you see . . .
The full moon as it watched
As it shed a tear for a broken soul

Did you care . . .
As you made a choice
To steal away into the night

You . . . the one
Who took from a child
The doll she so loved

You there!
Did you know?
Did you care?


Details | Blank verse | |

Today

The creative course of love runs through the veins
By God, it has enveloped my very life in faint luster
It is now an illusion I have mastered and made real
There will be no lies written on my depleting heart
For Doubt was there masked inside the vibrant ball
All told her it was to be a masquerade, and she fell
Yes! Doubt fell into an illusion of trust and feral light
She locked herself away for good that doleful night    
While all danced and were joyous in lore and drink
Doubt turned her head to the door of blissful night 
And she never looked back; not for a slight moment

Furtively their love grew as vines entwining sea green
Ballets flared inside menace and ghoulish, garish glee
Lonely larks will always sing as far as the eye can see
But Doubt in its dark sings beyond what is you or me
I am in love with her; she is life and something new
And I cringe to speak the truth; oh clandestine mind!   
Yes, it was I who had invited Doubt to the vibrant ball
And it was there, without notice, she fell in my arms
In an unforgiving, comatose faint—a revolutionary state
Her face to the door, bleeding black and nothing more
The last moment I stared into her bleak, pale features

Doubt's masquerade I had mastered had at last begun!
The crowd swelling all around me, all in dark costume
Oh, God knew it was only a guiltless, simple gathering
But here they remained—the DEMONS ever smothering
The faces were cruel and their camouflage unforgiving
Doubt had now left me writhing, splitting, crying—LIVING 
As crowds danced around my uncovered, sniveling face
The spineless love of my life gone now without a trace
There no drink to drown away the ever-placed sorrow
There no high hopes of inevitable, hopeful tomorrow
There is only today—and today I cruelly, drolly LOVE


Details | Triolet | |

Mom Is Just Mom (Triolet Poem)

Mom is just mom when she wants to be,
I wish she was more independant in life.
What I write is the truth, she'd probably agree.

Maybe she didn't do a good job as a wife,
Put down the alcohol and look towards God.
Because He is the one who will make things right.

This past Thanksgiving I didn't sense your love
You didn't cook Turkey, no family was present.
I left and you didn't even give me a loving hug.

Since I became a Muslim, I'm not feeling your presence,
You also act different in front of my girl,
I guess mom is just mom, that's my life's lesson.

Hopefully situations will get better for you
And one day you'll realize in this world what is true.


Details | Lyric | |

Storm In The Wind

(Oh Girl),
You're like the storm and the wind, 
Tearin up the city and breaking the 
trees, 
Whenever I'm around you girl, 
I get weak, 
You're breaking my heart, 
And tearing up me, 
(Chorus) 
Breaking my heart, 
Breaking my heart,  (Tearing up me)
(Ooh girl)
I know we will make it, 
Even though the wind is blowing 
careless at me, 
I can't do this without you girl, 
I'll get weak, 
Stop breaking my heart, 
Bringing me to my knees,
(Chorus) 2x 
Even though the love hurricane is 
blowing careless at me, 
I can't do this without you girl, 
I'm too weak, 
You breaking my heart, 
You're the storm of the week. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Rapped Heart

You ripped my heart out
You used it as a cushion without consideration

You ripped my heart out
You left me in despair without a care

You ripped my heart out
You used it to keep yourself occupied and took me for a joyride

You ripped my heart out
You left be wondering about this ambivalent relationship, something I could 
never grip

You ripped my heart out
You used my hopes from the get-go, made it seem like such a natural flow

You ripped my heart out
You left me with anger, doubt, sadness, hurt something I can't construe as 
you left me the way 
that I had found you

You might as well of ripped my heart out - you wore it out


Details | I do not know? | |

I Cried Today

I Cried Today

I am thirteen today
You would think I would be happy
Yet it is hard to even crack a smile
With everyone wishing me a Happy Birthday
To me it’s not that happy
As today strange voices carrying on inside me
They say I don’t deserve to live 
They say I should die
I am thirteen and 

I Cried Today

My sweet sixteen isn’t so sweet
I just want to hide
Go back to sleep 
Or simply disappear
What is a girl to do? 
When she feels so sad, lonely and depressed
I don’t even have anyone to turn to
I am sixteen and 

I Cried Today

Today I am nineteen 
It is my graduation day
And while I am smiling on the outside 
I feel like I am crumbling on the inside
Those voices don’t give 
Never a break 
No rest for the wicked they say
I am nineteen and 

Today I Cried

I am twenty-one 
No drinking for me 
I am in a hospital as my first sip was almost my last
Who knew I could be so allergic
I am twenty-one
In a hospital and 

I Cried Today

I am twenty-five 
I thought I was in love 
Until I walked in on my fiancé 
In bed with my best friend
My heart feels so cold
I am so alone 
As my world has just turned upside down 
I am twenty-five and 

I Cried Today

I am thirty
I am working hard
To get back my life 
Take control of my future 
And actually see the possibilities of a tomorrow
It is a lot of work 
With a hard road ahead
I am Thirty 

I Never Cried Today

I am thirty-four
In a few short months I will be thirty-five 
I am not alone 
I realize I never was
Surrounded by people I love
People who love me
Married to the love of my life
My dreams are coming true
I feel so happy 
I am almost thirty-five and 

I Smiled Today

By: Jean Shular


Details | I do not know? | |

Love Right!?

People think they have to say "i love you" in relationships..
 
but no not really...

some times it makes me feel like i HAVE to say i love you if some one says it to me.

" i love you is a very very special word"

people have to understand that they have to be wise with the word "i love you" 

because if  you say it to anyone... then when you really mean it.. it wont feel ture....




*comment on what you think*
            
                                 -Angel4eva23


Details | Rhyme | |

Ocean of Emotion

There’s an ocean of emotion, floating though my mind, and I’m drawing on the last things said. The more I think about it, the more I want to cry, and the past four days I’ve remained in my bed. My brain is ignoring my conscious state. Life around me seems of Twisted fate. The hour is that of getting late, which Seems as though it’s working against me. It’s been days since I last ate. My stomach contorted and aches. I keep popping these aspirin like there candy, my hair so dirty it’s sandy. Next I’ll be asking if you got a liver handy. I’m in need of my best mate If nothing else to clear my mind scape That’s seems great, but I haven’t talked to him as of late, and I’m not sure that it’s healthy, using him as an emotional escape My reality, a myopic view Thoughts so deep, this is where my image machine stews Pointing out all the things I’ve done wrong O dear god How long must I go on


Details | Epigram | |

A STRANGE BEDFELLOW

Woman Is Insulted,
By Challenging His Manhood;
Getting His Buddies To Rape,
Was His Way Of Reinforcing.

He, Not a Man,
Force Himself On a Feminist.
Give a Valid Reason While Rape.
Feminist Tempt Masculine

By Their Proactive Dressing.
Insubordination To Human Nature.
Could It Be That
Masculine Is Weak?

By The Sight Of Bear Breast?
Victims Feel Ashamed And Unclean.
FEMA Seventeen Events Took Place.
Recurring In Nightmare First Man Exploded Inside Her.

It Was Her First Encounter.
Screaming She Was,
Thought Masculine Was Urinating On Her.
Bath I Must Have Said For Years.

Dirty She Felt And Wasn’t Enough Water To Cleanse Her Body.
Rapist Defilement And Innocence Body.
Fellow, Who Should Be Ashamed?
And Feel Unclean And Unfit For Civilized Society?


Details | Narrative | |

Tears upon fear

My head is heavy
And your know where near
Our lives are slowly crumbling
And we're not there to hear

Sand bag to wall
We're there when each other fall
Release your load
Only so much you can take
Give it to me
I'll hold your world on my shoulders

Sandbag to wall
I'll do my best not to fall
In turn
I know we'll soon switch
My shoulders are in a slouch
And life's becoming too big of a bit©h

Your silent words spoken
Things said but not heard
A hoax in communication
A bridge thats now been burnt
Each lie and blameful word
Melted in a smoldering pot
Craters into your life
Strips you left with only a soul to show

The meteoroid was left standing there
Some what in tacked
But left a tear
Like a dagger in the heart
You refuse to take out
Time over time
The meteoroid has dissapeared
but still you imagine its there
Stuck in the past 
Your stubborn as a ass
When will you move on

We cleaned up the debris
Everyday we came by
Between each heart fulled hi and goodbye
We'd fill our baby up
Trying to help him get by
But no matter how hard we tried
He was just a hole

I look back to dusk
And see my blooming flower
So many bees all around
They were bound to sting
Ignore all signs and look at you now
After they all fly high
And leave you under the great blue sky

Everyday Ill come
And lay there with a rope
Waiting to pull you back
And carry you into a world of hope
Because I'm afraid  of your other ways to cope


 


Details | Free verse | |

Scars of an Inner Child

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
 Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love


Details | Free verse | |

Solitary Confinement

Thoughts running rampant
Memories chasing through,
Dreary and Lonely
Soul standing alone.

Basking in this solitude
Dreaming of the need,
To be a part of the whole
Seclusion is the paid toll.

Despairing concentrations
Never making sense,
Loneliness abides me
Among the world a mess.

Strength draining through
Hope flowing out,
In a crisis that I call for
Redemption is not found.


Details | ABC | |

MidNight Wishes

Even though i did not hear your voice tonight i'm still ahit,
I will go on like this for ever, i wont go out without a fight. 
I'll fight till the end of this life to win your heart,
All you have to do is tell me when to start.

The music blarrin in my head phones at 1:52 AM and i'm lovin it, 
cause it helps me remember your gorgeous smile like it was meant to fit. 
Wanting to feel your touch and kisses all over me ignites the fire in me,
Wanting to take you by your hand and run wild in a big sea. 

There aint much i can say to express myself but this will have to do for tonight,
I think its just that i haven't reached height.
You no I love you and that's all that matters or will ever matter to me,
I will love you till i die, like I told you before, cant you see? 
 


Details | Free verse | |

A Crystal that Darkens

Winter is also celibate.  The conscience is moving,
A frozen light in a frozen eye.  It's raining much looser,
Down a ripped tree.  I couldn't have, 
I couldn't have, in this sin-sick tenderness.
              ___

My face is cracked in my fawnlike fingers;
And the nose betrays an inner child, who
Wouldn't listen to sparrows about being catched.
I just insisted fur was wings.
              ___

The feminine chill on the palm must be sorrow;
When I think of church bells, or mother- 
That I am haunting as raw love.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

GOODBYE by Anna Lo P

I still think why things had ended
between our love, which I now try to hate,
I succumbed myself into this despair 
of wanting you back, which you also hate.

Psyche oneself that I can make it
this lonely battle of heart, can i fake it?
repeatedly in disarray thoughts
God I hope I could say it's just a hoax.

People around, will you please tell me
is it wrong to fight for this love I believe?
or shall I say is it right to surrender
because it's something merely perceived.

Ya, Ya, Ya, I did get it
don't insist no more, got it?..



Details | Free verse | |

Minding My Mind

In those dark days 
When everytime is a down time
And the lime is not in its prime

Those days when for a dime
You could spare a prime rhyme
And pay a dollar for a cent 

Those days when the slimy 
Tongues of foes wag in ecstasy
Those days when life seems to turn tide 
And you feel God has finally gone blind 

Alas! I think of death, like I am right now 
Say you know how I feel
We only are playing the truth
Smiling with a sweet tooth
It's only if Dzogbeze Lisa has abandoned you 
In the thick forests with clouding trees 

Then you really will know
Death really can bring life 
But the pleasure shall I deny my foes, 
Up I shall stand still to claim it all
To work for success and not to die for it

To poke death in face and smile back at life


Details | Free verse | |

Thunder, Rain, Why

Rain whispers arond me 
As tears flood my eyes
I scream to the skies
Why, i ask, why
I run till i'm tired
Then walk a ways more
Silently asking the skies 
Why
What did i do to deserve these lies
Why wont they go away
The skies thunder in answer 
Because they were your lies 
That's why
I keep walking and walking 
Till the ground drops below me
I silently ask why one last time
Then spread my wings
And fly


Details | Free verse | |

Me My soulmate

I , i in a blue sea
In the sea i am flying
Sometimes on sky i am swimming 
Down on earth i am in dark 
In a cave i am searching for light 
In the noise i am searching for silence 
Then i go to forest 
Under a tree i find myself 
I look in my eyes , the eyes which are full of fear
I look at my lips with a smile.
I touch my face 
When i touch my face 
Suddenly i feel a hand on my shoulder 
When i turn around, its an other me standing infront of me
When i see my eyes , in my eyes i see strength 
But in my hands i see blood
When i see the blood
Everything fade in black
I am on sky with a white wolf staring at me
In wolf's eyes i find myself 
I follow the wolf
Everything fade in white
I find myself in a room 
I am on my bed nothing around
So calm it is 
I am too alone
I thought it was a dream
But when i look at my hands
I find the blood 
In my dream i met the reality
I met different faces of me..
The reality which i am hiding inside
Hiding me, me as my soulmate...


Details | Free verse | |

breathe, suffocate


velvet tears slip down my cheek.

a gentle cry.

and the wet drops seep in the corners of my mouth

until

my lungs are full of my own salty, crystalline tears,

bringing buoyancy to boats that sail inside my veins.

as a rule, I try not to cry.

if a single tear is shed, who is to say that another will not follow?

compelling the rest to join

until I’ve immersed myself in the sea I’ve incepted,

and soon

all I see are the opalescent peaks of water colliding with my skin.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Too Young To Be So Old

Too young to be so old,a child of five,
Yet a man so old, a childhood gone.
I hear his pain in his dreams at night.

I feel his fear in the tears upon his cheeks,
When he reaches for the love that isn,t there.
I feel the emptiness in his embrace.

He holds inside a pain so very deep,
A fear so strong no one can reach.
His eyes have seen,his body felt,

More in life that many adults.
How does he face the things that hide inside?
Where does he turn when the tears come down?

Left behind at a tender age to face the questions mommy made,
When she chose to leave him behind and not to hold him tight.
I have heard him say," If I had been better,

Maybe she would have loved me and stayed,"
He watched her beaten,watched her cry.
The choice she made was to pass him by.

He bottles the pain so deep inside,
Many a night I held him tight,
When the darkness came and took his light.

One day he will see just how much it hurts,
When Poppa and I can't fix what hurts inside.
As I look back and recall the tears that came,

When to us the question came," Do we have to go back to her?
There was nothing we could do ,but take them home
We must hold the tears and pain inside.

He was much too young to be so old.


Details | Rhyme | |

Fine Line

What is your drug of choice,if one is had.Booze,weed or LSD,cocaine,speed or PCP!There are many that we do but this crap is not good for you.
Nothing to gain for scars I bare but drink and crap my underwear!
Snort a line,what can I do,keep snorting until my face turns blue!
Pop a lid and watch me fly and watch the wall melt while I fry!
Puff a blunt,I feel just fine until I lose all track of time!
One teaspoon of dust inside my wine and I go swimming with the swine!
Oxycoten is not for me when I have got the need for speed!
Now I bounce back off the wall because I hear a special call!
That call is called reality,it screams this will be the end of me!
What choice is there when life is hard and I am dealing my last card!
Get off my ass and out of bed and if I fail I end up dead!


Details | Rhyme | |

Do You Feel There's Nowhere to Go

Do You Feel Like There’s Nowhere to Go? I know that it's easy to get discouraged and upset. Feeling “trapped” ... But can't escape "just yet." You've tried everything. And not sure what else to do? Is there someone who can help you through?" Many things you've done. You’ve wanted to be forgiven! Yet struggle with this each day you're livin’! You meet people and wear a "smile." And sometimes wonder if living is really worth the while. You may have prayed over and over again. And yet constantly feel Like you’re “trapped within.” You may have tried to call on Jesus' name. Yet find yourself in "guilt and shame." Jesus is here now! And wants you to know… He can bring peace to your troubled soul. Rather than thinking of things done in the past. Come to Jesus now! His love will always LAST! Allow HIM to bring to your life the needed victory now! He'll make you a brand new person! And HOW! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

My mind is not a crash test

I wish you loved me more. I always feel like your looking for the door. Don’t say it isn’t true. When you know it is what you do. Emotionally I think you're through. Now it’s up to me to catch a clue. My mind Is not a crash test. Dummy! The things I fear you say behind my back make me feel awful. Tell me are your slenderest words profitable. If equated to a fraction, what percentage is marketable. Let alone talk able. In conversation do you receive a sense satisfaction putting me down. A show of strength when your friends are around. I'm the pile. To your pile driver, and you are Pounding me into the ground. Your always there. Relentlessly never backing down. A complement never found. Guess the sex is why you stay around. Pounding & pounding, Out the rhythms of attraction. My body has become my only weapon to defend against a total loss. I continue no matter this emotional cost. That inevitably of my best friendship lost. Your heart covered in a winters frost. You track each trickle back to it’s source then scream of the faucet till your face is hoarse. Admittedly; My substance abuse inexcusable, Though isn’t my progress viewable. But each time you put me down I’m driven a little further into the ground. My head the only exposed part of me now. Soon cast in concrete never again to be found. Your bridge to the rest of the world nearly complete. Maybe you could visit from time to time. Text me via spray paint. This is how my messages get through. If you listen close you’ll hear my reply. I love you still. Now and for all time.


Details | I do not know? | |

inner thoughts...

shadows swam amounst the human heart,
dead to the owner that life has broken apart,
guilt, pain, hate, confusion, doubt,
insanity thrives and exploides to a shout.
boils within the humans inner being,
takes hold of itself and crushes every feeling,
lethal anguish waiting for the pain,
the emptiness thats left will drive you insane.
truth was a lie, and so was love,
a sickening debt to go up above,
forsaken world that forsaken me,
something that killed everything in me.
uncertainty lies within the heart
was always there from the start,
the mind was twisted...was always so,
captivity as it tormented my very soul,
unlocking pain, hate, doubt and shame,
the depressed soul needs to be contained.


Details | Lyric | |

Junkie

you know its wrong 
but you do it to overpower the pain
not strong enough to stay away from it
you would die without it
in its presence your heart knows no shame
even if you try to win the fight
your heart will overrule your mind
Theres nothing you can do
its chained to you
you cant get free
look what this drug did to you


Details | Free verse | |

Persistent Thing

Seamlessly out of reach,

Coming to a grasp,

Then just to leach,

To lay down,

A hand brushing out over these blades of grass,

Touching, is it not?

That he may find her,

Such formlessness,

When will the time come?

Oh, the times there were,

Though the times that may,

Like cogs in a machine turning endlessly within this brain,

Clouding the path, the dreams,

Clouding all that could be,

Clouding this life, this sight, so you may be a passer-by,

A wish for you to be near,

To spend the cold of the night within the comfort of your warmth,

Lonely is the dark, ill-illuminated cage of my heart,

So frightening at times, yet so understandingly comforting amongst others,

So starts the spread of delusion, of fright, and of fear,

To be happy for,

What a joke! Harder than to pass through the iron maiden that is the guard to these thoughts,

As the selfishness grows,

And the jealousy ensues,

No anger, but calming waves of sorrow,

Setting in as it swallows whole,

Stretching out the hand,

A hope that continues,

To crash yet again,

To stand back up,

And continue the trend,

Wondering, when shall it all end?


Details | I do not know? | |

Almost Gone

Every time I trust,
It's broken by someone.

Every time I love,
I'm crushed.

I walk across the street,
Thinking about my troubles.

A car passes,
I hit the side, and my life flashes.

Almost gone,
But very much alive, I am.

Almost gone,
But no bruises or scratches.

Almost gone,
My troubles should be.


Details | Lyric | |

I Needed You To Stay

(chorus)

Watch these eyes fill with tears
I don’t know where to go from here
Everything is always the same
Lonely nights filled with pain
Why cant I rearrange
Why does opening up feel so strange
Is this what's meant to be,
A life with only me

 I sit and watch down the hall,
Silence waiting for your call,
If I could just hear you say
That you need me today
Then everything would be ok,
I cant make this go away.
Ive done it again
When will this end
Where is my friend
I needed you to stay.

(chorus)
Watch these eyes fill with tears
I don’t know where to go from here
Everything is always the same
Lonely nights filled with pain
Why cant I rearrange
Why does opening up feel so strange
Is this what's meant to be,
A life with only me

You told me I was the one,
Yet its over before it begun
You took my heart
and tore it apart
Where the hell did this come from
All the tears I cried
From all your lies
I cant make this go away
I needed you to stay

 (chorus)
Watch these eyes fill with tears
I don’t know where to go from here
Everything is always the same
Lonely nights filled with pain
Why cant I rearrange
Why does opening up feel so strange
Is this what's meant to be,
A life with only me


Details | Lyric | |

Sweet Seduction

[Verse 1]

My blood is ice inside your veins
Crawling underneath my skin
The price we pay to earn that name
The battle that we never win
Falling faster far below
Further into darkest depths
The kiss of death that you bestow
The poison that is on your…lips

[Chorus]

Sweet seduction
Drug addiction
Words that only he can mend
Sweet seduction
My affliction
Rise to only meet the end

[Verse 2-change]

Your thoughts they plant a grave in me
Like missiles shooting through the skies
The pain you watch but never see
Crystals falling from my eyes
Your words they feel like razor blades
Your touch like acid on the skin
Your love this agonizing pain
The battle that I’ll never…win

[Chorus]

[Breakthrough]
Swallowed up by
Sounds of screaming
Asking questions
Without meaning
Fall away…
FADE AWAY!!!!

[Chorus]
Sweet seduction
Drug addiction
Words that only he can mend
Your destruction
My affliction
Rise to only meet the end

The end…


Details | I do not know? | |

How Can I Not Love You

How can I not love you
When you flashes your pretty dimples?
And how can I not love you
When you make hard looks simple?

How can I not love you
When you exchanges your smiles?
And how can I not love you
When you looks so good a thousand miles?

How can I not love you
When you are always so neat?
And how can I not love you
When you are very sweet?

How can I not love you
When you shows the cleft in your chin?
And how can I not love you
When you do no sins?

How can I not love you
When you hold things tight?
And how can I not love you
When you make the wrongs right?

How can I not love you
Till the very end?
And how can I love you
When you love my best friend?


Details | Ballad | |

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nothing gold can stay.
Sometimes u find it slips away,
Something close that u can touch,
But in the end it was to much,
Like a flood flowing through a city,
Life is hard when u live in pity,
Things may be good but turn bad,
Sometimes it makes u really sad,
Days and nights may go,
Just have to live life nice and slow,
Maybe somethings may not be right,
Its never good to pick a fight,
Sometimes u find it slips away,
Nothing gold can stay.


Details | Rhyme | |

Something to do

Something to do. Each time I look at you, I wonder how it is that I'll fix this. The broken mind that is mine can I make the repairs, Before you lose your interest. I’m bent from this business Of begging forgiveness, while frantically running around putting out fires. You are my modulation as I hold out for hope. Once consumed by substance Now bailing water from my metaphorical tug boat. Dragging you along, against the current. To give up, would be Giving the water it’s way. That’s why I beg for one more chance, Please stay. Something to do. Like random nuts & bolts in a jar, You know the right size can’t be far. I just have to dig around in this damn jar. Something to do. This is always the case. My heart was always in the right place. Complacent was the world around me. My art, brought me bounty. I digress, and ask that you look How it is that you found me. You could actually count on me. People loved to hear the sound of me, But that was before my grounding. Something to do. Clipped wings I dive bombed into the sand. If I had broken a body part It would've been a hand. Mending my wounds, this is my job now. One day ill make you proud.


Details | Free verse | |

Five Steps

I’ve been told there are five steps of grieving
Each one I walk for miles

~~~~~1~~~~

Numbness is the first in the chain
And, shock is supposed to help ease the pain

You can pinch me, and I will not feel it
Number one is the pit I am in

~~~~~2~~~~~

Yearning and anger are around the corner
I do not see me in that state of being

Anger is something I do not feel 
How can I be mad at someone who was not well?

~~~~~3~~~~~

Despair, sadness, and withdrawal
The thunderstorms move in

I am stuck in one and three
Somewhere, deep, deep in me

~~~~~4~~~~~

Now, I am supposed to let positive emotions begin
Reorganize, more enlightened, although grief can still set in

The tears will lessen, my well will dry
They will not see me cry

~~~~~5~~~~~

Letting go and moving on! Is the last phase, I am told
My interests will return, sadness will lessen, behold...

But, how will this happen?
When I have one and three, still on my back to burn.

©Holly P. Moore
   November 2012


Details | Free verse | |

A Blue Boy's Death Wish

A fragile mind breaks 
Wake upon the rock laden shores
A muffled heart begs to echo
Whispers lost among a velvet chamber

Dusk comes premature time and again
Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise
If you never witness dawn
There is no tomorrow

Always the dreamer aches
Never awake to make real what he desires
The restless corpse walks blind
Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind

Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines
Love is the motive and the weapon
Taking root in throats dry from weeping
Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles
A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive
The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching
A plea for rest lands on deaf ears

The hollow boy tires of himself
The last request he will ever make
"End me"
Lost and tired
He wishes to be weak no more


Details | Free verse | |

Are you my daddy

''Are you my daddy'' the little child cried.

''No I'm your uncle'' the grown up replied,

''Are you going to stay, or go away  like my uncles always do?''

'' I love your mummy I'll stay I promise you I'll do''.

'' Everyone loves my mummy,'' the child says with a sigh.

''Will you take me to MacDonald's and buy me a toy and take me for a ride?''

''Yes I promise, but I maybe away for a while''.


''Are you my Daddy'' the little child cried,

''No I'm your uncle'', the grown up replied,

''Are you going away like all my uncles do?''.............................................


Peter Dome. copyright.2012.


Details | Ode | |

My promise to you JCO

There are moments I still wonder why. 
Question everything I gave, and every action
I blamed myself for you not wanting to try
But came to realize you never gave a fraction.

I bled my heart out for you
Cut even when the scar would heal
The wound in love was cruel
Hope in selfishness you chose to steal

You found me in a thousand bits
Picking them up one at time 
Instead of glue it was a temporary fix 
To make the shattering affect more define

Now that the tears have all fallen
I promise you only of this
Your face I will have forgotten
But mine will haunt your every first kiss


Details | Elegy | |

No Title to This

Stuck at the bottom 

I'm caving in. 

One thought of you not here 

Puts me in a claustrophobic nightmare. 

I can't wake up. 

I may not see you again. 

Reality isn't different from my sleep. 

I'm still running aimlessly away to nowhere. 

I'm so blinded. 

Every second is hidden that I'm spinning in circles. 

Makes me reckless, violent, purple dead. 

Over and over something's wanting me to say 

I was a creep for treating you that way. 

Can you forgive me? 

I promise I won't make you cry. 

One more chance I'll be a loyal friend. 

Walk to your door. 

I'm closing in. 

Standing on thin ice there's no turning back. 

I'll say it straight out without fumbling. 

For once in my life 

I confess it was a mess. 

Screwed up everything special we had planned. 

But now I'm here alone. 

Hope is my only invisible ally. 

I raise my white flag to the skies. 

Will you operate my wounded heart? 

The stakes are high. 

But I'm willing to continue where we left off 

If you have room in your heart for rent.


Details | Free verse | |

Dear I don't know

 Dear I don't know,

       I'm here in a place, I should call my castle
 The problem with this is, I don't feel it's paradise
 For, I sit alone, so many days and nights
 Sometimes I cry, and don't know, why
 Nor, know how to stop my fear
 Due to the burning knives
 I feel so deep in my spine

  I keep trying to find, the happiness
  I once carried in my soul, but it
  Seems so hard to find
  Were did it disappear to
  Were did it go

   For, I'm so lost in this world
   Don't know, what to do
   I just know, I am writing to you
   Hoping you can give me a clue
   Because, I don't know
   What to do
   Life left me so confuse


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Rhyme | |

when you lied next to me

as late as it is,
its another beutifull evening,
if it had been like all other days,
you had been lying next to me.

if love is such a mess,
then why make me fall in it,
because i was fine with the friendship we had,
and the times we lied next to the bed

i dont know if my tears have dried,
or is it that the pain has fully died,
because if i recall my best memories,
was the one's you lied next to me.

now am lost in empty thoughts,
i'm finding my way to the top,
and trust me if i ever do,
i will be fine lying with my true boo.


Details | Haiku | |

Hurt

I don't understand why,
Why my best friend, doesn't wanna be friends anymore.
Caleb I know I may have hurt you,
I know I may have made you laugh, I did, and I made you smile,
I love talking to you, but for some reason you don't wanna talk to me,
I am wondering why.
Caleb, I miss you like hell, and I am going through hell not being able to,
To talk to you, to hear your voice, all I have are pictures, and a picture,
A picture in a frame. 
CAZ it is killing me inside being away from my best friend,
My one and only true best friend,
The only friend that has been by my side, through thick and thin,
Has been there for me when my great-grandpa died, when me and Josh broke up,
When my life didn't mean anything, the one who saved me from killing myself,
The one who talked to me everyday just to make me smile, and have a good day.
Now you are killing me by not talking to me!! Did you forget about me??
Did you forget I was there for you too?? That we were here for each other, 
That we made the promise to always be here for each other??
I miss you a lot, and I just want you to come back home Caleb Allen Zummak.


Details | Rhyme | |

Un Uncontrolled Passion And Unquenchable Desire

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
An Uncontrolled Passion and Unquenchable desire!


An uncontrolled Passion and unquenchable desire,
Will lead your soul to an
uncontrollable fire!

This will lead to an unquenchable flame.
Things in your life will never again
be the same!

The passions and urges that led you down this path.
Will not spare your soul from Satan's awful wrath.

He will not spare you of what your longs to have.
No matter what you hold on to.
No matter what you grab!

All the counseling in the world could never take away.
The sin you have in your heart.
No matter what others say!

The uncontrollable urges that seem to burn from within.
Are now causing you grief,
in your life, once again!

The only power that can cleanse and wash you clean...
Is the blood of Jesus!  He is God!
 And can do ANYTHING!

Won't you seek his help?  Won't you reach out
and take his hand?
Everything you're gong through...
He already understands!

Whatever you're holding on to.
Whatever person you may be...
Only the blood and power of Jesus
can totally set you FREE!

Please come Lord Jesus and restore
our lives with your grace!
It's only in you, dear Jesus,
that we have a "resting place."

Thank you Jesus for helping us to receive
fulfillment inside.
By your love and forgivenss...
There's nothing more to hide!

By Jim Pemberton    05/11/13







Details | Lyric | |

Forever

This is a song we worked on a while back - my friend Ashly and I. It's actually an a cappella piece. Some words I have forgotten. Enjoy!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Break me
Take me away
From here
Leave me
Here in this place
Forever

Now I'm alone and there's nowhere to hide
These scars are hidden deep inside
The shadows consume me
Watch me die
Forever

Wake me
Out of this dream
That's real
Kill me
Lost in this pain
I can't feel


Now I'm alone and there's nowhere to hide
These scars are hidden deep inside
The shadows consume me
Watch me die
Forever

Clutch in this pain
Nothing matters anymore
Feeling forever 
Alone

Leave me here in this place 
Forever


Now I'm alone and there's nowhere to hide
These scars are hidden deep inside
The shadows consume me
Watch me die
Forever x2


Details | I do not know? | |

Coming back to life

Buried alive with obsessions
Suffocated by depression
Stuck underneath anxiety
Further from reality
Contemplating actions
From any point of view
For proper explanation
In things that others do
Tasking on others problems
As if they were my own
If I continue at this rate
I’m sure to be alone
Mind filled with confusion
Masked as a disguise
Keeping feelings bottled up
Adding to my demise
Finding a reason
To believe in tomorrow
With hopes not to bring with it 
Anymore sorrow
I need to learn how to let go
Of past situations
In order to rid myself
Of further complications
Take on the mind frame
Everything is going to be alright
Allowing room for what is positive
To come into my sight
Where I can veer 
In a new direction
On a road that is leading 
Towards perfection
Fighting off infections
Plaguing my existence
Using strength that I can find
To help me go the distance
Someday I’ll crawl out
From within my grave
To see who it is
That I have to save
I’ll find the answers so, many times 
I’ve searched for
I’ll then know the reasons
I will have found it, the cure!


Details | I do not know? | |

cHeckmATE

Three months is date 
Six months our hearts pulsate 
Ninth month is here
If there isn't hate
Then soon will be a year  
We're really to believe it to be fate? 

Smothering ourselves in this theory 
A concept based solely upon the idealistic "soulmate" 
By this, we incorrigibly infatuate 
Neglecting what's real 
Ignorantly becoming our own hostages 
Essentially an internal inmate 

Prisoners who fear 
Distrust 
And self mutilate 
We're sitting patiently as we wait
And wait
Just to wait

Playing these games we're burdened to tolerate
Causing confusion 
Creating heartache

But in the end I'm betting all that I've got
Betting on the most evident of facts 
As I'll always be the first to call... 







Checkmate


Details | Free verse | |

The Man With Blue Eyes

There once was a girl
That had beauty and grace
Though beaten and broken
Had a bright smiling face

There once was a girl
Who felt aged and wise
Her heart was as large 
As the stars in her eyes

There once was a girl
Who longed to be loved
Though she never quite 
Found it till the man with blue eyes

He was strong and sound
He was older and wiser
Wipped the tears from her face
So trusted the man with blue eyes

There once was a girl 
Who fell for the lies
Beliving and trusting
The man with blue eyes

There is now a girl
Her smile erased
Her heart splitting and bleeding
A lesson she learned 

From the man with blue eyes



Details | I do not know? | |

lost

I'm lost, 
And theres no where i can run to, 
to escape from my fears,
I dont know what to do, 
I wish I could see into my years.

All the memories of good times, 
shared with ones that I love, 
thats the only thing that keeps me,
with my hopes up above.

There's something still missing,
and its terring me apart,
all I have is tears dripping, 
leaving behind obvious scarrs.

the pain doesnt show on the outside, 
but inside I'm breaking down.
All I need is answers,
just something to figure this out.

I'll scream with all I've got, 
please, somebody help, I dont want to be lost.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

letters to Mary

I pull my shirt off to check for the bulls eye Today it’s there so I’ll run and hide but to no avail I’m the pawn in your diabolical tale premeditated and calculated guess I missed the cookie crumb trail no clues are friendship was going stale you stabbed me in the back knowing I'm emotionally frail You blind sided me and so likely is the story that it’s just my luck Now I’m always your excuse when your talking about why you can’t drink it up I hope you chock on those lies you poser You’ll never help people your an emotional bulldozer Maybe one day you’ll suffer from real emotional ills Believe when I tell you It Kills Everyday I take a handful of pills even then their is no guarantee There's are days when negativity and overwhelming pressures consume my very being and the crazy thing is the seeing because it’s believing witnessing me in a blank stare I’m conscious, but no one’s there Just - My - Stare Inside I’m busy with my clipper ship I’ve floated upon your hurricane and every little happy moment we ever had has crying stinging pellets of mad


Details | Free verse | |

Sense

Do you remember how she smelled
like Christmas?

How she smiled
like rain?

Do you think of her, sometimes
when snow and laundry soap
fill your senses?

Or when the wind catches the leaves
and they laugh in your ear
sing you to sleep?

Maybe it's the reason your eyes cloud over
when you feel silk 
against your fingers

Because for a moment 
you're cradled in her arms
Peter Pan and Hook
tugging at your eyelashes

Some bittersweet reminisce 
of quilted portrait frames
salted tears
and candy-cane red lipstick
tuning your dreams

And with simple twinges of regret
feather-like brushes of remorse
you cave
collapse

 Wish you could remember more
than a smell
or a sound
fainter than teardrops

Wish everything didn't remind you
you couldn't.


Details | Free verse | |

Braid Hairs

Why are you so devilishly addicting?
I come back from you,
It looks like I'm on drugs:
High and drunk,
Out of my mind.
The demons inside us braid hairs
Until we're peaceful meadows apart,
Nuclear wars together.


Details | Free verse | |

Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

I'll See your face again
I swear it
No matter how far away they take you from me
Fading, Going Away, Don't be so afraid
Death is a Dream


The Cross Will Be lighter
Whisper the words
so sacred, so somber

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

A Fallen Angel looms over the lifeless stone
What Happened here must be true
I must live this life without you

Breaking the Silence
She began to Weep
The Epitaph ceasing to know 
We all must Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

The solitude is euphoric as an illusional clock
Of argentine fears swallow the last soul
Goodnight black rose of eternity
Goodnight dearest gothic phantom
Tonight The Earth consumes me




**Special Thanks To My Writing Partner Cayla Carr**


Details | Free verse | |

Cheaters

Why do people cheat??
because it makes them feel,
or look good among their peers?
No, they do it because they are stupid.
They don't care for the promises they make.
They are not faithful.
My ex-boyfriend was like that.
But the difference is,
he cheated on me,
with not just one girl,
but three girls!!!
Why would someone do,
something like that?
I cried for days when I found out.
I stopped talking to him.
It was hard,
but i did it.
Because i had to.
No one deserves to be treated like that.
This is a true story...
I have had a broken heart once,
he was my first boyfriend,
and I don't intend to go through it again...


Details | Ballad | |

A Broken Fairytale

Once upon a time, 
Almost 6 years ago,
A boy met a girl
With his best friend in toe.
This boy and this girl
Became young love in its essence.
His best friend became what some would call
Her own personal hidden blessing.
His devotion for his friend
Couldn't quite bring him to confess,
But he cared about that girl enough,
To warn her of future distress.

After 3 long years,
Of the back and forth romance,
Their young love finally ended,
The girl was broken hearted and defenceless.
She had given her all
To someone who was only willing to take it.
The best friend tried to warn her,
But she couldn't see her lover fake it.

A year would pass,
Before the best friend would find,
His best friend's ex,
The one he longed to say was "mine".
A birthday of hers
Was his golden opportunity.
When he missed her night out,
He offered to take her to a movie.
She wrestled with the thought:
Do I open that door?
She kept pushing it off,
Until she couldn't avoid it anymore.
Neither one of them expected,
Or even could dream
Of all that would come
From one night, one movie.

A love affair of sorts,
Filled with constant ups and downs,
But despite their best efforts,
They couldn't help but stick around.
A year and 2 months
Of the greatest love that ever lived,
Was shared between these two,
Who were only just kids.
Neither one of them was ready,
They didn't know what to do,
They loved so deeply,
But this experience was so new.
A girl with a broken heart,
With no sense of true self worth,
Met a boy with a broken heart,
And the desire to move forth,
With her by his side,
Forever hand in hand,
Yet she felt she didn't deserve him,
And did what she could: she ran.

Now her love for him consumes her,
But his heart is in pieces.
Now he's too afraid of her
But his love he swears never ceases.
And she cries herself to sleep at night,
For the best friend she hurt foolishly.
And she prays for their future together,
The one he says can never be.


Details | Lyric | |

Im Only Me When Im With You

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

When I see your smile
I stop and think
Why oh why
Cant he see
What hes doing to me
Oh baby please
Just be with me

Your always on my mind
Is it the way your always kind?
You know i want you
But theres nothing i can do
I wanna be in your arms
Away from all harm...

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

I wanna be yours
Boy cant you see
Your the world to me 
I cant go a day without you
Thats the one thing ill never do
I live to love you

(gets a little faster)

I should be yours
You shouldnt be hers
Your a one of a kind
Your hard to find
When our hands lock together
I wanna leave you never

(slower)

Ill be yours forever
Just tell me when it starts
Hun you will always have my heart
When you look in my eyes
I let out a little sigh

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

Now you see i love you
And this is true
I dont care what they say
They dont know what happened to me that day
My heart was hurt
Then you came along
Your the reason i wrote this song


Details | Narrative | |

''Runaway Wanted''

I see my breathe.
Night has fell upon a frost.
Gods' chill lye now on my shoulders.
Alone yet not.
Silence now before the icey rain.
Surrender as my nervous teeth chatter.
For the warmth of a home is all that is desired.
My empty haven.
But,I am filled with a heart that is full.
Want nor wait.
Arms now cover me like a blanket.
Gust of wind has carried your unwaivered heart.
Candles lit a way to find what is left.
Merely an image of what once was.
Break down into a sob.
Remains frozen solid as climate has taken its' vengence.
I suffer no more,weak body.
Now only in spirit.
Shall I rest.


Details | Elegy | |

Hello.../...Goodbye to Us

So eloquent the beauty absorbed around you;

You uplifted me by your sweet aroma.

Oh, I'm very sorry to say,

That day in May caused a breath to pay.

You stole my heart away

And cured my parading heartache;

Only if I'd known what would have brought that day,

Then I'd have hidden and gone another time.

I felt plagued and wanted to die;

As a lover would take a shot for you, I'd dodge infinity for you.

Yet only a stranger we both were, 

I'm here writing this letter swollen with a million tears of heavy cries. 

Maybe it could have been fate that we unofficially met;

A destiny resulting in both loss and gain.

A second's glance is certain to be the catch,

Since here I stand alone in the rain.

A passive reflection of sorrow illuminates from the scar;

My heart begins to beat slowly in rhythm with my eyes. 

The ticking of the clock abruptly stops;

"I know you're up there," I finally whisper  

…….smile


Details | I do not know? | |

You and I



You and I.


You.

Your heart blazed,
with a warmth of spirit,

soothing,

alluring,

soaked in truth.



Your smile burned,
branding me permanently,

gentle,

tender,

enveloping my being.



Your love was complete,
from the depths of your soul,

unsaid,

yet fierce,

bathed in silent knowing.



Your dreams were poetic,
fluttering in the afternoon breeze,
infused with the distilled essence of rhyme.


I.

I squandered your generosity of spirit.

I vainly discarded your priceless poems.


Now I stand,

alone,

empty,

desolate,

wasting away,

rotting inside, day by day.




Details | I do not know? | |

Is Some One There To LISTEN?

Angel's are for you and only you. i think you can have many angels. i don't know. 

 But anyways....
if you don't like to go home beacuase of the drama going on between your parents? just go 
to your room and just...talk!  talk to your angel....

If your in a bad situation, and your scared with no one to comfort you?  There IS someone 
to comfort you right now... with an arm around your shoulder saying everything is gona be 
all right in you ear.....
 

 THERE IS ALWAYS SOME ONE WHO WILL LISTEN AND COMFORT YOU WHEN NO ONE ELSE CAN!!!!!!




                   *comment if you have a thought or fav poem)*

                                     -Angel4eva23


Details | Rhyme | |

I Know of A Brother Who's Lost And Confused


I know of a brother, who’s lost and confused… Many of his relationships, he’s already “abused.” He’s not really sure, which direction he’s going… There’s a lot of wise advice, that he’s ignoring! He’s choosing to ignore the God who loves him. And refuses to acknowledge how much he needs him! He decided to leave his family behind him… Perhaps, one day, they’ll be able to “find him!” I pray for this dear brother! He needs prayer! I know that wherever he goes… God is always there! Please, dear Jesus, touch him with your kindness! Without YOU dear lord… He’s walking in blindness! No matter where he goes… Which path is taken! God will always love him! He’s never forsaken! The words of God, must somehow get his attention! To give him a clear path, and a godly direction! May the love of Christ, get a hold of his heart! Coming to Jesus, is a good place to start! Whatever this brother does, or where he goes… Only the righteousness of God, can make him whole! Dear Lord… Be with my brother! That he may know you! During the journey of life, may he learn to trust you! The path of God’s footsteps, gives one a true meaning! May this brother acknowledge God! And start believing! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Lyric | |

What If Tomorrow Never Comes

I recall now the days when forever seemed but a short time The visits to the hospital, brought sad images to your mind She lay on a bed, cords all around her, no hair upon her head The cancer drove us crazy with worry tears and fright She was only a baby, I didn't get the chance to say goodbye Farewell until we meet again where you'll be waiting... waiting for tomorrow to come again. What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. And now I lie here thinking it through, memories flash through my head, memories of you Moments of a bittersweet time Reminiscing the days when you were mine The days when you were alive The tears come back to my eyes I feel the need to cry but nothing slides out I need to scream and shout, My emotions pour out as one, silently So what if tomorrow never comes? Reality in death is so hard to accept, I need my tomorrow to come... What if it never does? What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. Will tomorrow ever come? I just want to be awake when the moon becomes the sun I'm waiting here for you, in the darkness of the night. I wait still for you, forever the images will haunt my mind Tomorrow will come I'll soon be alright Tomorrow will come... Tomorrow has come... I can now see the sun.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pockets of Misery

I stuff my pockets with misery and contempt,
overloading their contents, pleasure exempt.
I fill the dark spaces with sadness and dread,
overexerting the capacity, till all hope is dead.

I shove bits of hatred, and pieces of despair,
into tightly bound pockets, I callously wear.
I force fists of fury, into perfect folds of misery,
massive bulging indignation, that only I can see.

I line its gruesome insides, with terror and pain,
thrusting handfuls of vanity with bouts of shame.
I lunge towards its innards, like a thrusting rocket;
these dark grisly holes, inside miserable pockets.


Details | Free verse | |

The Apartment

Bed

Shakes and slumber alike
Float upon me
Wet emotion
Soaks through and stains
For her smiles
And his furrowed brow
Imprint
The laughter and pain

Mirror

Me, the shine and prism
Of her hatred
Endless hours of
Not good enough
And his reassurance
Of loveliness
That will never
Be understood

Carpet

Pounding thrashing
Of their two loves
Upon me at two am
Smiling after the
Sound of play
Echo the hallway
And wake the neighbors
Laughingly unashamed

Television

One no two
No three
Grabbing at differences
In perception and
Personality
Rolling eyes
Grinning heart
Oh just take it

Closet

I contain both of
Their many faces
Of characterization
For each other
And the outside
The demons and
Faults swept in me
Obsession and Impulse

Curtain

Shades of truth
Hidden delights
And detriments
Behind my mask of
Sunshine shrouded
Cotton obscurity
Enough peaks through
If you really look

Lamp

Groans and sighs
She adores me
Perhaps his consciousness
And her fear of darkness
Will come to terms
And leave me at peace
One day
Till then I never rest

Shower

Pearly suds cling to my walls
When they are happy
Songs penetrate steam
But oh how I am neglected
Dry sadness
For the majority
I take too much energy
From helpless souls

Couch

Sore and abused
An alibi for each
His quiet savior
Her supportive friend
My popularity increases
As creativity disappears
And common ground
Is rarely evident

Fridge

He frowns
As she stuffs me
With poor choices
Reflecting regret 
With life all around
But I feel empty
When they are joyous
For they are no where to be found


Details | Free verse | |

Sobibor

We ride the cattle rail  Not knowing exactly what lay ahead. For weeks there's 
been no heat,  No bathrooms and we've barely been fed.  We arrive at our 
destined location.  Sobibor...Sobibor...Sobibor,  Is the death camp for Jews.  
Opening widely, the gate to Hell  With train whistle loud and prolonged, News of 
our arrival they tell.  Orders given, the boxcar doors open.  The air so fresh, the 
pines are livid.  Decisions to make.....What to do?  What to do?  Tailors, 
seamstress', blacksmith, carpenters  Are there any?  
Volunteers?...Yes...No ...Good decision, bad decision?  Shouted at, screaming, 
people being beat  Kept others orderly on their march.  Houses with names, 
gardens with flowers, and Signs pointing to canteen and showers.  Sobibor 
seemed peaceful, not a place of murder.  To the Ukraine to work you will go.  
Because of lice, Women need their hair to go.  There are epidemics, You must 
be disinfected.  Naked and unaware of the lies, They each take the walk Through 
the tube-"Road to Heaven".  The screaming strong at first,  Weakens gradually 
until it dies.  Why?...Why?...Why?...You say.  Why don't you fight back?  Pick up 
that gun, shoot that guard!  That would lead to your death plus as Many others 
they could hack.  Why don't you escape?  Where would I go?  Here I have no 
home, no family. ..It is cold.  I have no warm clothes or shoes...I am on the verge 
of starving.  What will I eat?  How do I get through the mine fields?  How do I get 
through the armed Poles in the forest?  We do revolt... the camp as a whole.  
Sasha, the Soviet prisoner of war... A new leader... good for our soul.  He gave us 
some hope.  We were working class people, Everything was taken from us.  We 
were cold.  We were hungry.  We were beaten.  We were killed.  We lost all hope.  
Oppression lets genocide happen.  Genocide has happened in the past. 
Genocide is happening now.  Genocide will happen in the future.  Greed and 
power can and does lead to genocide.  Only policy makers worldwide...God 
willing, Can help stop the killing.





Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Schizophrenia's Curse

My faith is a source of comfort
In the turbulent storm that has become my life
After all, God has graced me with special powers
But when it comes to my personal anguish, his ways are unknowable
I have managed to estrange almost everyone

Personal relationships collapse around me
But there is a man who loves me, somewhere across the world
Even though he claims he's never been interested
The poems he writes under a woman's name
Tell me all I need to tell myself is true

And I resent that he pretends I am an intrusion
While whispering the words of his true soul, elsewhere
If only his friends that call me crazy knew!
They would be humbled, to say I should be the one ashamed
And realize that they are the stalkers, not me

It cannot possibly be that those poems are actually written by the woman
It hurts, when people call me mentally ill
God cured my sickness, years ago
And has retained my prophetic abilities
Despite my repeated lies

No, I still have my gift
Which means that God has forgiven
He saw it as a tool for survival
In the rift of challenges from people who feign disinterest
But who carry me on in their heart

I will be your salvation
Please don't see my promises of eternal love as a threat
As a matter of fact, I'm growing impatient with you
Why do you keep lying about who you are and your feelings for me?
Why are you embarrassing me like this?

I contacted your work to tell them you were a liar
I put your address out, with threats to tell your wife
I knew it would draw you nearer to me
Because I am helping you get over your illness
You can pray it away, like I did.

That "friend" of yours is the devil in disguise
She will eat away at your soul
I cannot believe you let her say these horrible things to me!
It's so obvious that she wants to be with you
Even though she keeps telling me you are happily married

Wow, you are really starting to enrage me
With your insistence that you are not in love with me
And lying to fool a few people that you do not share my faith
You don't respond properly to threats of hell
But that is where you will end up, if you keep this company

I refuse to accept you for what you say you are
It's okay - I know the truth
And I love the real you unconditionally
People sickly claim that I cannot understand love
Now stop ignoring me, you monster!

Why are men so hard to understand
How can someone of faith be so blasphemous
I am your angel of light, your lamp
And you shut the door in my face
I will haunt you, for the rest of your life


Details | Free verse | |

Am I Still Forgiven

I did it again; I need forgiven.
Will He still forgive me even though I've fallen before?
I've fallen into these same sins countless times before;
I still haven't learned my lesson.
I am an ignorant hypocrite.
Am I still forgiven?


Details | Villanelle | |

Complex of ideas

Complex of ideas

My hands smell like wood and, as I shout for a beginning, I pull myself out of me.
The laughter is shaking inside, it slips from head to foot and climbs…
I’m a young old man, for I have fed myself with old age…
That is why I have muscles so loquacious, so wise, so mild…
I always knew that love means whisper, smile, black and white…
So what that I wear with me this complex of ideas like marsupials wear their 
young?



Details | Haiku |