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Sad Childhood Poems | Sad Poems About Childhood

These Sad Childhood poems are examples of Sad poems about Childhood. These are the best examples of Sad Childhood poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Ballad | |

Disturbed Child

That disturbed child
The teen girl with no friends, 
and is rejected by her loved ones
She feels broken inside,
like theres no other choice
She takes the iron razor, 
she puts it to her arm and hopes the pain will fade,
but in the end it only makes her feel worse
She does this to herself not because she is sad, 
but because she doesn't think any one cares
She thinks 
What if I put this razor to my throat,
and ended my life
Would they care then?
She feels like no one cares 
What she doesn't realize is, 
if she died a river of tears would come,
even faster then the blood would run from her
If she only knew life can be brighter 
If she would only see, 
that she is loved
That disturbed child, 
We miss her
and theres no getting her back
What could we have done
Was there any changing her mind
Only God knows


Details | Rhyme | |

I Used To Be a Dreamer

I used to be a dreamer Growing up within my mind, I was no heavy sleeper By creativity confined I used to be a hero One day, and then the next I could've been Jack Sparrow Prancing between the decks I used to live in a circus With carousels and flying cats, I'd muck about without a purpose All day out, with Mr. Tall Hat I used to be a rarity From anyone else, I was unique I used to live in fantasy Believed in fairy tales, even magic Today, I am another person As normal as they define Too scared to be uncommon Afraid to be left behind Today, I live in blunt reality A world of black and white, that outlaws every little oddity and punish them on sight I have been dead before, When they took my dreams away.


Details | I do not know? | |

Questions for Dad

How do you do it...
   arrested again.
Paroled for awhile
   then back to the pen.
We know you don't mean it.
   We know that you care.
But when will you show it?
   When and where?
As much as we love you
   our hate runs that strong.
Why can't you stay with us?
   What are we doing wrong?
Are your friends to blame?
   Did they help cause this bust?
What should we feel?
   Who do we trust?
Who do we love?
    Who should we hate?
Why do you burden us
    with all your stuff
       on our plate?
It's too much to handle,
     we're too young to deal.
With the heartache we have,
     with the pain that we feel.

Your our Daddy, our idol,
     our mentor for sure.
Our anger, our hope,
     we need you here more.
Your smile, our tears
     your our happiness found.
Our twinkle, our fears,
     the reason we frown.
You want us to love you
     you want us to care
But Daddy, how can we...
     when your never there!


Details | Narrative | |

The Beauty in Belle

There once was a girl,
Who's name I can't tell.
To spare her the pain,
I'll just call her Belle.

Belle was a beauty
And all the beasts could see,
She was everything in a girlfriend
That they wanted theirs to be.

Belle was so trusting,
Because she was never treated wrong,
But little did she know that
Her innocence wouldn't last long.

She had two friends,
Sasha and Trevor,
And a boyfriend that she thought
She'd love forever.

Her boyfriend, Sam,
And Trevor were friends.
So this fearsome foursome
Had fun to no end.

The youngest of the four
But the smartest, she thought.
But what a friend was
Was not what she was taught.

Trevor and Belle
Would hang out all day.
She would try to be like him
In her own boyish way.

You see, the Trevor I speak of
Was King of the Beasts
And everything he wanted
Was laid at his feet.

And, although curious,
Belle stayed true to Sam
And that made Trevor feel
That he was less of a man.

One day, in a summer
5 years ago,
Belle told me something
I needed to know.

She told me what happened
The day that she ran.
The day that will forever
Be burned in the sand.

She told me what happened
When she looked over her shoulder
And saw him walking towards her
As the room grew colder.

She told me her tears
Were no match to his power.
She told me what made this beast
A coward.

She told me she screamed
And hollered and yelled
But her cries were soon muffled
By his lips, dry and pale.

She told me how she felt
The day that she was bruised.
Never in her life
Had she felt so used!

I asked her why she didn't fight
Or get tough like she does on the field.
She just said I'd never know the 
Weakness that I would feel.

I couldn't help but to cry for her
As she blamed herself.
Belle had always wanted to be
The beauty on everyone's shelf.

"But not like that," she said to me,
"Not with one of my friends."
She let a tear roll down her face
As she spoke of her life's end.

Some may ask why'd she tell me;
"What made her come to you?"
I simply look at them and say,
"You don't know Belle like I do."

I know this story in great detail
And if you look real close you'll see
The tear I shed while writing this
Because...Belle is me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Abused

Belt in hand 
Red of face 
Eyes bulging into space 
The children scatter every place 

His temper is in full bloom 
They know they will pay for it soon 
Tiny hands and tear stained faces 
They silently pray from their hiding places 

"Someone, anyone, please come and protect them" they plead 
"For if not soon they will bleed"
The father rises and calls to each one 
And so it has begun 

Tenatively each steps forward 
Knowing their fate 
With a sadistic gleam in his eye 
The belt finds it's mark 

On soft skin, it leaves it's stark welts
Tears flowing fast
Live rivers in spring 
The terrified kids can do nothing 

On and on he punishes them 
Until they lay like broken toys 
They lie so still 
But he continues to enforce his will 

There is no help
No reprieve 
And worst of all 
This isn't the end 

Tomorrow it all begins again!


Details | Blank verse | |

A Brief Childhood

In the back of my head, in the garden shed,
I see him as clearly as fresh white paint:
A little boy sat on the creosote floor, 
Dragged grazed knees hugged up to his chin, 
So familiar, so resonant and never faint. 
He shivers and weeps on the wooden ground, 
Alone, almost silent, with hardly a sound, 
In retreat from a world he cannot understand 
That Is ruled and defined by a callused hand.

It's his seventh birthday and a slowing flood 
Of mucus and blood flows from swollen lips, 
A tooth bares a nerve and a jagged chip, 
But the pain means no more than dandelion clocks 
Or cuckoo spit; the act alone the gestalt of it.

Some days he would walk for miles, 
To see beyond the next hill, around the bend, 
Kicking slowly along, his shadow twice his size, 
Dwarfing him, tracking him, a passive friend. 
Perhaps to find some haven, someone to 
Take him in, rescue his heart, and want him;
But strangers, though kindly, approached 
With the dusk and it always ended the same way:
"Where do you live?" they would say
And thoroughly drilled, he would quietly reply,
In emotion drained monotone,
His address and number of the telephone,
And they always took him back home.

Some days he would walk for miles,
To sit on the edge of the viaduct, 
Perched perilously with nothing to lose, 
Dangling feet in small scuffed shoes, 
Dropping pebbles and stones to the 
Rocks and undergrowth far, far below, 
Imagining if he may fall in their stead, 
What then would be left to know?

The fall down the stairs snapped his ankle
Like a spindly twig, fractured some ribs,
Dislocated his jaw.
The children's ward, antiseptic and bright,
Young nurses in uniform, starched and white
Were so kind to him, he almost cried, bringing concern
And orange squash and a paper straw.

Sometimes it’s like this when things go wrong, 
A scapegoat is needed to blame things on. 
People thought him shy, with head bowed low, 
Lost in comics and books, lost in himself, 
Denying the threat of another blow. 
He was not shy, just hiding and biding, 
Keeping his head down and trying not to show.

Life is a scoundrel, and time a cohort thief, 
Stealing a childhood with no reprieve, 
Leaving only the slow burning sense of relief, 
That an unpleasant childhood seemed mercifully brief.


Details | I do not know? | |

What's Happening To Our Children?

Look into their hollowed eyes
and tell me you don't care.
There are so many hurting
and it's more than I can bear.

What happens to our young
that makes them crave the pain? 
How could they feel so helpless
that it drives them near insane? 

So many young are cutters.
They have a thirst for tears.
Where are all their parents
while they're out facing their fears? 

How can we save these children? 
It kills me when I know
that underneath they're dying
yet the scars they don't let show.

If I could give them strength
and help them see the way...
I'd trade them my tomorrows
if that gained them one more day.


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Dream, And Dream, And Dream

I'll Dream

. And Dream

. . And Dream

I'll dream until my soul awakes, And it's time for youth to part I'll dream until my passion breaks, And this child's abandoned heart I'll dream a lost and former friend, The innocence I've held to tight Before the colors blur, and blend, I'll dream of who I was tonight Before my tears drip down, and dry, I'll dream with colors pure and gold Before the innocence inside me dies, And childhood is hardened cold I'll dream as if absorbed in youth, Illusion moonlight show'ring light Blind to pain and awful truth, I'll dream of who I was tonight.
10/6/2011 "Dreams"


Details | I do not know? | |

Still In Progress

How can I be selfless without being used? 
How can I be demanding without being so rude? 
How can I open up without closing back down? 
How can I speak if you don't hear a sound? 
How can I trust without being betrayed? 
Yet how could I leave... even after you stayed? 
But how can you love me when I won't let you in? 
So many questions.... where do I begin? 
-------- 
Memories now blurred, flying through my mind…… 
Now, I’m trying to repress the days of being youthful and blind. 
Every morning I pull on my armor, right from within, 
Preparing for a war, that I intend, to win. 
If my heart is my comrade and my mind is the enemy, 
Then in the midst of this battlefield, 
Life is the remedy…
 --- 
Trying to stay sane, knowing that although this is temporary, nothing is vain… 
Learning that there is always a purpose and people will try to corrupt us, and bring you great shame… 
Being told that ‘Victory isn't given to he who starts the race the strongest, but he who endures until the end.’ 
Trying to suspend you from learning to depend... on yourself, 
instead making you depend on the wealth, 
Of someone who doesn't even know who he is, 
while you’re grasping the stealth of your true identity, in your right hand, in your heart, the knowledge…
Never been withheld 
… 
.. 
. 
Feeling the world come crashing down on you, compacting into a mist of air so cool, 
The breeze passing right through, right into the depths of your pores, to ensue, 
The burning and broken and fragile pieces of the inhabitants of the earth from your birth til' now.. 
Physically becoming everything that you breathe, touch, conceive, munch, perceive, every aroma... 
And every great or insignificant trauma, reflecting off your skin oh so temporarily, the mark so paper thin… 
Physically, THAT is what you are… 
Because we only see the physical, right? 
Yet, behind every movie is there not a director… a cast? 
And behind every painting is there not an artist, combining colors and lines so vast? 
And behind every child is there not a journey, a past? 
...
That you did not walk, yet you know that it’s there, not by sight, scent, taste, touch, or hearing... But something inside you, that says it makes sense, KNOWS that all of that is there, 
KNOWING
...
..
.


Details | Free verse | |

An Unspeakable Hurt

Sleeping in your crib, you were curled onto your side, A thumb inside your mouth, a blanket cuddled in your arm. Only 18 months old, your baby blue eyes so beautiful, How could anyone bruise you this way, your innocence lost, Who was it who hurt you like this, if only you could talk. You take a bottle from me and nuzzle into my grasp, I want to protect you from any more harm and pain, All I can do right now, is love and care for you with all I have, And give your medications that will make you strong again. So I kiss you good night and place you back in your crib, May your night be filled with good fairies and sweet dreams. Then Social Services will take you away when you are well, I only hope and pray that you will be safe now forever more. **A true story from my Nursing career working in Pediatrics. Written by Lee Ramage September 19, 2011 For Debbie Guzzi’s contest “Children” Won 8th place


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Stranger,

I tried my best
To show you part of me.
The side of me
You've never seen.

I'm more than a daughter;
I'm an artist, a writer,
A sister, a friend
And now to you a stranger.

I have a question,
Have you ever realized
That I have my own voice
And I have my own life?

I'm not relinquishing my soul--
I won't sell it to anyone.
If I can't be myself
Then who will I become?

I have a mind of my own,
A heart and gifts.
I have a life of my own
And it's mine to live.

Yes, you gave me life,
But it's not yours to give.
You gave me this life
So I can learn to live.

Tell me, have we met?
Have you ever seen me?
Or did you just see my music,
My tee shirts and jeans?

It's not what I look like,
It's how I look at myself.
I'm embarrassed to show you it.
Only you and no one else.

Don't be disappointed,
Mad or upset.
Be happy I have morals,
A mind and self-respect.

I'm the person I want to be.
I stay true to myself,
Meaning I'm me.
I'm me for no one else.

I'm smart and independent
Because you made me this way.
I'm no longer fearful and afraid,
That's not how I wanted to stay.

Now do you know me?
Or should I continue?
I'm making you realize,
I'm not being rude.

So make your decision.
Please, I just want an answer.
Not to be disrespectful,
But are you my mom or my mother?


Details | Lyric | |

All on Me

All on Me

My childhood is sketchy too many
Holes 
Yet as those holes fill in
I do not like what I see
So many secrets 
So much pain
My innocence was lost
No wonder I never acted like a child
Still I feel like it was 

All on Me

Be strong, be brave 
Be silent 
Never tell a soul
No one will understand
This love we share
And so it went 

All on Me

Even now as I remember 
Each awful moment 
I wonder what I could have done
To avoid it all together
I wonder what would have happened 
If I had spoke up
However all the what ifs in the world
Will never change the fact that it is 

All on Me

Sometimes I feel like the 
Pain is going to last forever
I am so scared that the glimpse of happiness I once had 
Is all I will ever see
Yet I won’t give up and
I won’t give in
Because if I do then he will win
Then it will be

All on Me 

Instead of 

All on Him

By: Jeanna York
10-21-2013




Details | Free verse | |

In Her Fathers Arms

The evening star glowing in a dust choked sky. A girl stands by a window, with a tear in her eye. She stares at the scene, hardly visible through the grime. She whispers in the wind, “Bring my Dad home this time” She opens the window, and climbs outside, Having a flashlight, in her hand, as her guide. Its glow shows the sides of the street. She’s afraid for what the light will meet Bodies piled everywhere she turns, She wants to go home, and never return. What brought this fate upon her town? All her emotions are stripped and torn down. A frightening sound explodes in her ear. Shadows in the road now appear. She run and hides behind a broken wall Praying to god the rest doesn’t fall. Footsteps coming closer to her She can’t tell who because it’s all a blur She backs away further so not to be seen in light, Quieting her heart pounding from fright. Gun shots and screams fill the air, All these sounds, her ears couldn’t bear. A slight whimper slips from her lips, And over the broken stone she trips. The shadows run closer, showering her heart with fear, She wishes they would just disappear. They pass by her; she fills with delight, She just wants to see her dad tonight. She shines the light, to show her place, And to the shine comes a familiar face. She doesn’t understand who’s to blame Because on the tag shows her father’s name. She holds in her tears and refrains from crying. She falls to the ground where her dad was lying. She lifts his arm and buries her face in his chest. She closes her eyes wanting to forget the rest. The shadows emerge yet she doesn’t see, How close the end for her would be. They look down at her, aim, shoot, and fire. Being with her dad is her only desire. The night had ended causing a little girl harm But she took her last breath, in her father’s arms.


Details | Lyric | |

Human Being

I walk a mile to see the self in me that I believe to be, 
I knew the road I choose to lay my head to sleep is called my home,
times in need I could barely see that in myself I will set free, 
the act that held me down, something about me I could not see,
I lived a life when I decide that day I said that I don't care, 
so young, so bright, I dim my light, traumatized for me to share,
love me please regardless of what you heard and what you have seen, 
friends say that I'm only human, yes you're right, a human but who am I being?
My life will move in the direction I choose, 
this I know I have always been taught
that I choose to be a winner or lose, 
its entirely up to me its all in my thoughts.

Ken Fepulea'i


Details | Rhyme | |

Rehab

So much I wanted to say. So much I wanted to shout.
It was like being trapped behind bars without a way
to get out.
My mind going wild with all these questions of why.
The only way to escape was to fall asleep or to cry.
What did I do so bad that made me have to pay?
My friends, my dreams, and my life was swepped away.
I know I can do it! I try and I try.
Nothing seems to get better. I sometimes wish
I would Die.
Starved for attention. I wanna talk to the world.
I just miss being loved. Miss the warmth of a girl.
Snickers and stairs is what my life has become.
I'm treated like I'm a kid, like I'm sick, or I'm dumb.
One day to the next. Life becomes work just to be alive.
I thank god for my blessings. I thank god I survived.
I finally see some improvement. More hope tickles
my brain.
It was worth all the time, all the tears, all the pain.
I awake with a smile and new hope to move on.
I did it! I did it! All those hard times are gone!


Details | Acrostic | |

ABUSE

Agony
Blood
Unrealistic pain
Sheer terror
Emotional scars that never heal


Details | Lyric | |

Normal To Me

This isn't just a poem This isn't just another emotion This is me, these are my thoughts The Imagery is my sight, And The Allegories are my Life I'm lonely, There is just me But there's so many people around but no one can hear my loudest screams Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me I'm torn, I'm Cut Part of my heart stabbed, and then taken from me The Search for my innocence, Is like a moa hunt Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Laughing and Jokes all directed towards me Just to Hurt me Cover all of the Halls "Fag, Emo, Queer" Words I too often know Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Curling her hair putting on her makeup "You're worthless and nothing to Me" Says the so-called all-loving-one As she screams: "Why am I not Pretty" Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me This is not just a poem not just some words my pen cries with each words But this is Just a Glimpse Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me


Details | Rhyme | |

Entwinement

Bleeding around me are empty faces
Sad, drooping spaces, crumpled places
Melancholy for the light of new places
Stuck in time, frozen in time
The pangs of lonesome fill their sagging hearts
Frowning forever, frowning forever
Let me stare blankly at the stained wall
Nothing at all…nothing at all

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an never-ending...
Entwinement 

Found myself looking through the tiny hole in the wall
Watching you fall, watching you fall
Scared for the neck that would break us all
You shuddered my blood…shuddered my blood
I met the eyes of the souls of your feet
Twitching and swinging…unfeeling…unfeeling
Please allow me this sole ease:
Just be with me... lie with me

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an everlasting...
Entwinement

-inspired by Mad World by Gary Jules-
-also inspired by the stop motion film: The Man in the Lower-Left hand Corner of the Photograph-


Details | Rhyme | |

Face Of A Beggar Child

FACE OF A BEGGAR CHILD

I saw your tear-stained face O’ child
It swam before my eyes at night
I clearly saw your life’s struggle,
Your painful hunger pangs and fright.

In my dreams I could clearly see
Your shredded clothes and unkempt hair.
At such a tender age O’ child,
On your face it was all written there.

No one to care for you my child
No one to call your very own.
No mother nor father to call you son, 
No siblings to call you come hither bro’.

I wondered how you came to be
In such a distressed way of life
Each day you have to beg for alms
And face the world’s rage and strife.

Were you the victim of natural disaster,
Like quake or floods epidemic or plague.
Or was it due to human vices
Like war or bloody bath of  death.

Were you  lost in busy hustle of life,
Was it all due to human greed.
Were you the fruit of sin and tossed,
Amidst dirty dustbin where dogs came to feed.

Your tear-stained face swims before my eyes,
And asks me how it came to be.
That  God created all humans alike,
But gave them different destiny.

Oh God, this your humble servant,
Asks you just one small question.
If there are so many tear-stained faces present,
Why Mother Teressa was only one.


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Rhyme | |

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love?

How can we hurt the very ones that we love?
How can we easily neglect our God above?

It seems like I often heard about many victims
Many times, it’s from a loved one who’s been with them!

The hate and the anger that boils from deep within.
Often “boils over” toward our family and friends.

It’s the love of Christ that we need to find!
His love can totally cleanse our life and mind!

The hearts of many families are bruised and broken.
By the harshness of many of the words spoken.

If we would allow Jesus to rule and reign.
We’d have little reason to murmur or complain.

If we would yield our lives to the master’s will…
The emptiness and brokenness, he shall fulfill!

If we could allow ourselves to sit at Jesus’ feet…
He can make any family totally complete!

If we could just listen to what Christ has to say.
His words of life would brighten our day!

As a family…  Won’t you give HIM a chance?
And allow his love to change your circumstance!

Won’t you allow his spirit to bind you together?
You can experience his peace today and forever!

He can change your family throughout!
This is his will and what God is all about!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

The White Pumpkin

The White Pumpkin

A farmer tends his field
Vines grow and wrap around each other
Giant white flowers bloom in the heat of summer
Butterflies and bees dance from flower to flower
Spreading the pollen from male to female
Inseminating to create the next generation
Weeks later the children arrive
They laugh and giggle as they run among the orange pumpkins
Each one takes their favorite home for carving or pie
One pumpkin is born small, oddly shaped with a white skin
It sits alone by the wooden fence as the rest are taken
The day before Halloween one child comes for a visit
Out of the dozens of pumpkins still waiting the child chose the small white one
His parents point out all the beauty around him
The child doesn’t change his mind or his heart
He spoke of the one he wanted
“This one is like me,” he said as he lifted it into his wheelchair
That was all that had to be said
The white pumpkin was loved by a little boy 
A little boy who knew what it was like to be different
He knew what it was like to be loved
And now, so did that small, oddly shaped pumpkin with a white skin


Details | Free verse | |

Die alone and born again

The man with the plastic bug in his head
monopolized my dreams last night
in the place that the horsefly of my dignity
finally surrender to the impresario without a fight.

Seven days and 7 hours transplanted in my memorabilia
reminding the rustiness of the purple child
flatterers danced beneath the clouds of melancholy
and morality spreader the master plan inside my mind.

The disinheritance of my immortality the final day
discouraged my desire to see the forbidden love
restored my will to escape
manipulated the deep of the uncertainty above.

Released from the plastic bug in my head
try to cover my yellow child in the purple sky
laughing,singing,whispering,playing
seven days and seven hours before he dies.


Details | Lyric | |

Buried Myself Alive

can you remember the time i let you in?
the time i showed you my heart?
the time i shared my soul with you?
the moment i poured out my blood when you needed it?
The second i saved your life?
The hour i saved you from your darkest secret?
The minute where you watched me bury myself alive?
Remember the time when you almost made me cry?
the time i made it a game to play your game?
the day i had my own time and took advantage of myself?
the hour it took to shut you out and let you go away for a long time?
well your going to have to ask nicer than that 


Details | Lyric | |

The Sins Of Our Fathers


The sins of our fathers cast such long and unremorseful shadows
   Leaving in its quake such a painful sting as only God would know.
With tangled webs that reach to the bowels of hell.
   Manipulating lies destructive words which only a father could tell.
Knowing full well how the vicious lies will be cast downward in a spiraling effect.
   To rob our children of any pride and leave them as societies social rejects.
With no recourse but to follow in fathers misguided and devious ways.
   With unknowing and uncaring reasoning they go forth longing for better days.
So where is the justice for the generation that draws the short end of the stick.
   All to suffer for the mistakes of being sired by a father who was morally sick.
Once in a great while you might luck out and see one escape such a horrible fate.
   Most often as not the majority wind up like dad filled with anger and hate.
If the Lord ever places in your path one of these castaways of life.
    Maybe you can be the one to help free it from all its anguish and strife.
Break the vicious cycle of torment and pain.
   Teach them of our Savior, Jesus, and that not every dark cloud contains rain.
Tell them how Jesus died so they know about the cleansing power of His blood.
   And how God with one gentle breath could tame the waters of a mighty raging 
flood.
And how we can repent of our sins and even the sins of our fathers and still be 
saved.
   Seek Jesus and ask for forgiveness with a humble and sincere heart, then our 
sins we confess of, He so graciously waived. 
                  


Details | Lyric | |

Gotta Let Their Soul Cry

 Raped and Molestated in childhood, 
   Abused and Misused in pre-adulthood,
     Alone and confused they stood; feeling
       like tainted goods.

 Let their soul cry, maybe then; they can
  regain their pride. 

 They gotta let their soul cry

 Their darkest secret's they lock  away
   within, this is why their flesh constantly
    feast off sin; and everything in life has a
     beginning, but never render an ending.

 Let their soul cry, Crying is the only way to
  gain their piece of mind.
   
One might ask," Why"? Then , I will reply,"
  They need to see at least one day filled with
     promise rather than pain and see the sun
        without having rain.
     
 They gotta let their soul cry, before their sin
  cause their flesh to die.


Details | Sonnet | |

Yes, There Really is Monsters

Growing up as a child I never wanted to sleep alone
In fear of the darkness and most of all the unknown
“Mommy is there monsters” I would commonly ask
Her reply was “only on Halloween, the ones we see in masks”

Still not satisfied with her answer and questioning her some more
Asking her the same old thing as I did the night before
Frustrated and exhausted she finally took me by the hand
Looking under my bed, in my closet and even inside my night-stand

“So see my daughter the monsters are only in your head”
“It’s time to get some sleep me dear, now do as I have said”
Respectfully obeying my mother; my little body trembling with fear
Wishing the hour was morning, praying for “him” not to appear
 
But as the darkness faded and uncomfortable silence came about
I could hear the monster stirring, getting ready to come out
Hoping the noises I heard were only my brothers messing around
Pulling the covers over my head, hoping and praying not to be found

The footsteps getting closer, the monster is almost to the foot of my bed
I now can hear his heavy breathing, oh God how I wished he was dead
Quietly he lifts my covers back and lays down in the bed beside me 
Touching, groping and mauling, trying to cover my eyes so I cannot see

He took away my childhood and with that my trust and self-esteem
A pleading child without a voice, invisible as it would seem
So yes my daughters there are monsters, everywhere we look
Saying as I remember my childhood and everything he took


Details | Free verse | |

in absolute darkness

Do you know what its like to be 
in absolute darkness?
I do. 
And I want to be back
on a foggy night
where winter doesn't fall too far
the only thing you can see 
is a distant street light
yellow and gold
glowing from the distance
the wet leaves that fell from the trees 
fill the night 
with a dewy smell
darkness. 
I turn the key
bright headlights
flood the road
one line, two lines, 
they all combine
into a white blur keeping me 
from crossing into the abyss
I could drive forever 
alone. 
I want to be gone again
back to my home.


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 1 of 2

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
 
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
 
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
 
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
 
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
 
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
 
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's  Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
 
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
 
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
 
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
 
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces

Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day

In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see. 
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave 
Back up north, where my futures to be 
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost 
And that was my aim, no matter the cost

see page 2 of 2, ty..


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | Acrostic | |

MOLESTED

Manipulated into thinking I know not right from wrong
Overpowered by his stature; my weakness makes him strong
Loathing at the thought that the time has come to go to bed
Escaping all the nightmares; forcing them to the back of my head
Sexually deviant and wicked; he’s completely out of control
Twisted are his thoughts, as he finally takes my soul
Evil vicious cycle; spinning round and round and round
Devastation lasting a life-time; still waiting to be found


© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 1 of 2

Around that table, picture the scene
Self appointed leaders if you know what I mean
What were the topics on the Agenda that day
The Jewish race is about to pay

Who gave the right for this decision that's made
Who has the right to cleanse and degrade
To decide who lived, to decide who dies
Another chapter, I still wonder why

They came in the day they came in the night
Women and children pulled out of sight
Herded aboard like cattle and sheep
Many a family awoke from their sleep

Dazed and confused as they are taken away
Where will they be at the end of the day
From their warm houses and their warm beds
What must be going through their heads

As they travel through days and through the night
Up ahead, they see lots of lights
They depart the trucks and board the train
Their faces scared under the strain

Asking questions from family and others
Generations, sisters and brothers
Why are we here, where are we going
Windowless carriages with no way of knowing

We come to a stop, soldiers aplenty
Towers and wire, topped with sentries
What can this place be they have taken us to
As we head to large gates as they shuffle us through

Families separated, herded in file
Women and children, not one did smile
Taken to rooms where our heads were shaved
Is this the way humans behaved

Clothes discarded, as we enter the shower
No signs of water no signs of power
Doors slammed as we are all crammed in
History will recall this evil of sins

As we stand in the dark, chanting Jewish faith
Can hear the voices can't see the face
Noises above, do the showers start
The event has begun that tells us Humans apart

Questions and sighs, as walled vents show daylight
Some thing is falling then their slammed tight
A strange aroma starts to fill the air
As all around are screams of despair

Twenty minutes have passed and the quietness is rife
Two thousand people, two thousand lives
Pellets called HCN, or Hydrogen Cyanide
Contribute to this Genocide


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Rhyme | |

death of a cat

the season I turned eleven
was the season that I died
there'd been blood betrayal and famine
and I thought I had survived

my neighbor killed my kitten
and for that I could not cry
my mother went to handle it
told me to stay inside

i sat poised in an armchair
trying to calm my mother down
while I could feel nothing
we knew she'd made him drown

the woman was a laundress
washed other people's clothes
didn't like the stink of pig sties
it offended her frail nose

the wash-board on the right side
where the pigs did have their homes
was the one she always gave me
like the left one was her own.

only when a pig was hanging
would she demand to trade
i'd wash next to a hog's corpse
a choice could not be made.

then one day I got angry
and I dared to move her clothes
i moved them to the right side
as the rage inside me rose

the woman tapped my window
and said your cat is dead
it was two days before Christmas
she roused me from my bed

there was display of feeling
tears could not be be shed

gray fades to black
hello sadness my old friend


                                                     12/11/06



Details | I do not know? | |

God's Plan

All I can do is wonder. 
I'll never really know. 
OI'll never get to hug her, 
and she'll never see me grow.
When I wake up tommorrow, 
this nightmare won't be gone.
I'll never have what I took for granted, 
a chance to know my Mom. 

I know I shouldn't cry, 
because that won't bring her back.
It doesn't make up for the emptiness
or the love that I lack.
I'm almost grown up now.
I did it all by myself.
But I can't help but wish
I could be like everyone else.

I'm excluded from some "special bond"
and memories to be shared.
When all I ever asked for
was to have someone who cared.
The tearstains on my pillow
outnumber memories.
The only way I know her
is to see her in my dreams.

Daddy said she loved me,
but God called her home.
I don't know why he took her, 
the only Mom I'd ever known.
I guess he has a hidden plan, 
a reason I can't see.
I'm waiting for it to come together
and work out okay for me. 

I hope I'll understand some day
just what God has in mind. 
So no matter how much I miss my mother
I'll follow God's plan and be alright.


Details | Quatrain | |

He was Just a Little Boy

I was born unto this world
A little boy called James
I was just like all the rest
Who in the playground played normal games

I knew my life was in trouble
By the time I reached the age of five
My mother had so many friends
I wondered why I was alive

The kids all used to laugh at me
In my short trousers and bloodied knees
If only they had known
What was going on, in the inside of me

Would they ever know
Why a mother would put you down
And pretend that your not there
As another arrives from out of town

Have they ever wondered
To go to school with clothes unwashed
Sleep on a concrete floor
While your Mother's comfortably sloshed

Do they ever stop and wonder
What happens around them day by day
They can't, because they are young like me
When all they want to do is play

My teens are around the corner
To secondary school I go
I survive and I get wiser
As I intend my life to flow

As we travel down life's highways
When we are born they are seldom written
You know the roads you want to take
For inside you, your internally smitten 




Details | Ballad | |

My Long Lost Friend

He was my best friend
His name was Snoopy
He was a beagle
My favorite pet.

I got him on Christmas day
He was just a little pup
I loved him so much
Then God took him away.

He was out hunting 
He never came back
He was gone 
Just like that.

I wonder every day
Where is he
Alive or…
Dead?

I still miss him so
I cry at night
Missing him
Missing him.  



Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 2 of 2

After the quiet we all have to go
Dragged and carted by the Sonderkommando
To be dumped in pits covered by lime
A race to dispose by it's Human slime

Auschwitz, Buchenwald & Dachau slaughtered
Many a son, many a daughter
Experiments on children women and men
Some aged 90, many under 10

In 45, their end was near, how many alive would reappear
As Russians, British and US troops
Chased the Hun to their German roots
Each camp reached showed it's sordid past
Where millions of me, were massively gassed

In Auschwitz, to this present day
Birds don't fly, no animals play
The reminder is all for there to see
Those terrible days what happened to me

It's 1948, our Nation is born
From histories past, populations torn
To all who survived I wish you well
And our new born world, called Israel 


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | I do not know? | |

Be A Good Kid And Roll Me A Joint

When you are nine years old 
and sifting the seeds out 
of your parents pot for them, 
you can't really preach 
about the dangers of cigarettes
and second-hand smoke...
even though you know them.

You know better than to miss a seed
and let it ''pop'' while they are smoking it.
''What are you lazy or just too stupid? ''
''Is it really that hard to make sure 
all the seeds are out? ''

Once you've proven yourself with the sifting job, 
maybe they'll think enough of you 
to actually let you roll one.
If you're lucky.
Then you're a real ''big helper''.
Then they really like having you around.
Because they love you.

But, if you're stupid enough 
to roll a joint that isn't tight 
or comes apart while they're smoking it...
you'll be sorry.
Because then they'll tell all their friends 
just how stupid their worthless kid is.
''Stupid kid.
Can't even roll a good joint.
What good are you''? 

Just wait...you're almost ten.
Then they'll have you smoke one yourself.
''It'll make you much cooler.
Because you're such a dork.
You really need help''. 


Details | I do not know? | |

The Light

~The Light~

I remember the first time
 Voices in my head getting way too loud
Just a little girl unable to enjoy the world around me
I thought there was no way out
Almost took the easy way out
Then I saw something shining at the end of a long dark tunnel
It gave me hope
A reason to believe
As long as I kept my focus on

~The Light~

Thirteen and so very young
Afraid to tell a soul
About the demons in my head
I thought that I had to deal with them 
For myself by myself
Until I slipped and told a friend
Finding out she heard them sometimes too
Helped me feel a little better
It is just too bad she never had a chance to see
Brightness at the end of her tunnel
After she moved away
She just gave up 
Walking away from 

~The Light	~

I felt so bad 
Yet I managed to hide the pain
I always felt inside
Even in my darkest hours
With many attempts behind me 
I kept hoping to see

~The Light~

It is beautiful to see how a family can rescue 
Their fallen 
Just not giving up
Always feeling their unconditional love 
Knowing they were there
It all helped me walk out of that dark tunnel
Embracing

~The Light~

Now I firmly believe it is possible
For the most troubled soul
To find a way out
Without taking the easy way
With love and support
I know you can do it too
As you go through life’s journey
Wherever it may take you 
Always remember to look for and 
Embrace 

~The Light	~

By: Jean Shular


Details | I do not know? | |

The Warrior

The Warrior

My pencil is my sword
My eraser is my shield
And when I go to war
My paper is my battlefield 
When life is to much
This is how I express the way I feel
And so I write such words
As murder, stab, kill
When people read these words
Misunderstanding they think I’m insane
But this is just how I vent
All my anger, frustration and pain
People that don’t know me
Think I look like a bad man
The people that say they do know me
Think I live the life of a madman
All of these things
Circling in my head
Sometimes I have to wonder
Would I be better off dead
I used to be a somebody
And my reputation would reflect
That I used to be a person
To look up to and respect
But now you can see
By the trembling in my hands
That all I am these days
Is a tired, broken man


Details | ABC | |

Daddy the Alcoholic

Daddy the alcoholic,
 every single day,
full and countless glasses,
 guzzled down,
help him please, and bring my daddy back to me.


Details | Acrostic | |

SEXUALLY MOLESTED

Self-Esteem destroyed; lost and never found
Engaged in unwanted advances; horror all around 
X-Rated is the actions; the pain is something unable to forget
United are the demons, which created the mood to set
Audacity running through his veins; unable to see the fright 
Losing all my dignity; fighting with all my might
Lusting for a purpose; one of the ultimate sins
Yearning for gratification; not thinking about the child within

Mortified beyond repair; a terrified child now resides 
Open to the vulnerability; a perfect secret now to hide
Losing this perverted battle; feeling mute and all alone
Emptiness has now replaced, a subtle joyful tone
Silence I have learned; haunting memories hiding within
Trust I give to no one; for all of life is one big sin
Exiled from a childhood, that helped make me who I am today
Disgraced by the memories as I watched my childhood fade away

© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | I do not know? | |

Diary Of A Bully

I watch him clutch
His silly staff,
The way he looks
Just makes me laugh.
His glasses hide
His hazel eyes,
So no one knows
How much he cries.

I don't know why
He looks that way,
To be noticed,
Some people say.
He has no style,
He isn't cool
He doesn't fit in 
With the kids at school.

I trip him up,
Laugh when he falls,
No one answers 
To his calls.
He's so tiny,
I'm so big,
I could snap him
Like a twig.

I don't know what
I'm going to say,
When his mum
Comes in today.
He's moving away
To another place, 
So that I'll
Get off his case.


Details | Bio | |

Baby Boy

How I've lost my baby boy.
To a choir of selfish indulgence.
He's been lost inside a bowl.
A bowl of bloody senselessness.
And I watched him wave his fingers high.
Closed his eyes, and slowly died.
And I wept inside my very soul.

So will someone call an ambulance?
To bring my baby back.
For him to slowly wave at me.
For that feeling that I lack.

And my baby boy, I say again.
He's up in heaven, counting sins.
Waiting for that day and then. 
His daddy will come home. 
And sing his songs back to him.
In a tone that he won't believe.
In hopes he will forgive me.

So can someone see this reverence?
Inside my baby boy. 
That shines deep inside his eyes. 
That shines to show his joy.


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence of a Child

Mister,
Why did you hit Mommy?

Mister,
You can't punish me,
You're not my daddy!

Mister, 
You say not to hit,
But your actions declare you a hypocrite.

Mister,
You push Mommy down,
But you say not to tell unless I say she fell.

Mister,
I try my darnedest to be good,
But you say I'm not action like I should.

Mister,
You hurt my feelings,
But you say you're just teaching me something with meaning.

Mister,
You come home with more than just Mommy,
But you say I saw nothing

Mister,
The night you came home drunk,
You know the night you shot Mommy with a shotgun . . . 
The night you left her beaten, bruised, scarred,
Bleeding on the ground. . . 
The night she went to sleep and never woke up

That night I was left alone,
Helpless,
Nowhere to go.

Mister,
Why did you do it
When you said you loved Mommy?

Mister, 
Why did you leave me stranded 
When you said you cared about me?

Mister,
Because of you
I am left here to die
Beside this dumpster where you told me to lye.

Mister,
I've been waiting here like you said,
For days,
Weeks,
Months,
But you r face I have not seen

You have let me down, Mister,
But that is nothing new.

You always told me to be a good child,
So I will.
With what's left of me, 
I will wait,
Calling your name . . . 

Mister . . . ?
Mister . . . ?




Details | Quatrain | |

To some a treasure

You think how much you hate your house
you despise the ancient floors
You abhor the broken cupboards
Will you always be this poor?
You gaze up at your bedroom roof
You see that it is leaking
You dream of owning fancy things
That selfish ones are seeking
You glance around the dingy room
and think it dark and dreary
How sad, how lonesome, that it seems
As if growing old and weary
Your bed, it lies a little crooked
and your carpets growing old
Summertime is way too hot
And winter gets too cold
Its raining now, its really pouring
Its leaking through your window
The sill is filling up with water
And it soon will overflow
You lie in your crooked bed
As you write this pain all down
The walls are just so melancholy
A sad and dingy brown
Your selfish thoughts lead to another
As he wanders lonely streets
Rain is pouring down on him
It's coming down in sheets
He's coughing and he's crying
And he is dreaming of a place
Where he can rest his weary soul
From troubles he must face
It's not riches that he's praying for
I do not have a doubt
This man is wishing desperately
To have what you complain about




Growing up in California on the Tuolume river was some sad business. There are homeless 
people all over the place. It breaks your heart. I always wonder what their story is and what 
caused them to be there. The little things in life matter and sometimes we forget that. Some 
mens' trash is another mans' treasure.


Details | Rhyme | |

She Died Right There Before Me

To me, she could've said anything
I wanted so badly to hear her say,
"I love you and I'm gonna try."
But all she said is "I just can't stay."
She looked away, I stared her down.
I needed to see her eyes.
She looked at me and that's when I knew...
THIS IS THE DAY MY MOTHER DIES.
She died right there before me.
I watched her fade away.
Her eyes were glossing over
as I begged her "PLEASE, JUST STAY!"
She said goodbye and drove away.
I've learned to deal with loss.
But, now she says "I'm coming back!"
She doesn't know the cost.
To me she's dead, she can't come back.
She'll have to remember the day
that she died right there before me
when she said she couldn't stay.


Details | Narrative | |

Child Prostitutes (2006)

Staring head on in the face
What is happening in each corner of this dreadful place
I don’t want to say rather me that you
I wish there was something I could do
Children for sale just isn’t right
Buts its happening day and night 


Details | Rhyme | |

A Boy in the Rain

A crying child stands
Alone
Wet eyes and trembling hands
Quietly turn to stone

What is the cause?
Who can be blamed?
Time doesn't pause
For a boy in the rain


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

I Remember

I remember the day
I heard you died,
I remember just how hard 
that I cried.

My heart ached more
then I felt it could be,
Just by knowing you 
were not here with me.

Even though you have
gone away,
The memories of you 
are here to stay.

You were like a
sibling should be,
Now you are a guardian
angel to me.


Details | Imagism | |

liquid senses

Another unwanted
passes through memories
down mundane streets 
suburbs undaunted

available liquid pass
tempted nostril senses
youth invaded stolen by
unpure pretenses

soft like shreds of life
tears of laughter
preserve treads
to a childhood lost to
hereafter 


Details | Verse | |

Believe in me

I saw your tears,
I knew something was wrong,
I knew with my mother,
My son didn't belong.
I saw the pain that you held 
deep inside.
I never wanted to leave you,
or ever have to say goodbye.
I chose for you to sleep safe in a bed,
instead of our car,
making sure you were fed,
was most important by far.
I wish I could take all the tears and
sadness away,
to correct all the wrongs and the mistakes that I made.
All you wanted was my approval, my affection and my love,
Yes, I know saying the words, just wasn't enough.
If I could go back in time          
I would have put up a bigger fight 
I would change it all today, 
to make your life a little more kind.
I would be to you all, what a mother should be,
I love you with all of my heart,
I just wish you could see,
All I ever wanted was for my children to believe in me.


Details | Bio | |

Brother

When you walked out that door
You forgot to say goodbye
Or you possibly remembered
But felt no need to try
You left us here alone
To fend for ourselves
It is hard to stay strong
When you are 10 and 12
You said you had to leave
You needed a way out
Well Brother, you chose
A selfish route
Locked deep inside
The four walls of my mind
Is the rememberance of you
When you were once kind
Your heart burned with love
For your sisters so young
You promised to protect us
Your most treasured, we were among
Now you have been gone
For several torturing years
There will never exist a well
Big enough to consume our tears
Our heads filled with bruises
Our minds filled with anguish
To escape such harsh discipline
Our one prayer and wish
We have now grown accustomed
To aggression and pain
Our conversational deprivation
Has kept us chained
With these locks so tight
But the keys in our very hands
We chose not to leave eachother
On this you made a stand
Well now, Brother
She is leaving me as well
It is my time to greet lonliness
With more stories to tell
To be hurt by loved ones
Is nothing peculiar
But to fight this battle alone
Is to take hands with pressure
Smile at depression
And embrace solitide...


Details | Rhyme | |

Santa's Letter

Last night as I was setting up the tree,
Our six year old son came up to me.
He said, "Mommy, I need a stamp because,
I want to mail this letter to Santa Claus."

Only six years old and just learning to spell.
He tried his best, it came out quite well.
He asked for a car, a train and a bike,
And all of the things that little boys like.

Then he signed his name, with a little PS,
That brought a tear to my eye and a pain to my chest.
As I stood there reading that crayon letter,
I fought back my tears, for I knew better,
Than to show him the impact of the words that he wrote,
As he ended his letter with this little note,

"Santa, I know money is short this year,
So all I really want is my Daddy to be here."


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

You took me

When you took me, you were wrong. I was under age and God knows I was'nt strong. I 
was young and you forced me to pretend that my life with my family was nearly at an 
end. You beat me and tortured me day after dayand when you would leave , I would 
feel safe. I'd get on my knees and pray "please lord just spare me one more day".  
I don't eat, I dont sleep, you'd beat me till I was weak. I don't want to die, 
everyday  I'd cry "someone please release me from this pain I feel inside.  I've 
endured so much pain that my body is numb, I silently wait for someone to come.  I 
wish I had wings to fly up above, to sing that I'm home to finally feel loved.  the 
scars from your knife will haunt me the rest of my life.  You left me beaten and 
bloody,I waited for an angel to find me and my wish came true from out of the blue, 
God sent me an angel to show me the truth. I was empty and scared, hoping someone's 
out there who might even care.   was tired and cold.  Will this little lost girl 
soon leave this world?   Someone finally came to carry me home, by the grace of 
god, so that I can move on.   don't know if  I'll get over this, and I'll never 
understand why, how another human being could take an innocent child. You took my 
strength and destroyed my pride, just to satisfy that sickness that manifests in 
your mind.  I can't go back and change what you've done, but I have finally forgave 
you so I can move on. Even though it may take some time  and a lot of searching 
inside,I hope you find peace while your doing your time.  I'll always wonder for 
the rest of my life, why you took me that day for that life  altering ride.


Details | I do not know? | |

I miss u(R.I.P Velma j Smith)

I miss you mom,
and I could tell you a million reasons why
the way you use to take care of me
when I was sick or in need at night or day.
and sometimes when I wasn't happy
maybe I'll be depressed,sad,or mad
You would always come to comfort me and make me laugh and smile
I miss u mom
so very,very much
i sometimes just miss u so much until,I'll curve your name in my arm,or just began to 
cry just thinking of u.
I miss u mom,
why did the man above have to take your life away?
i only got to be with u for 9 years that's it
that's not even enough time,for all of the year i got before me without u in my life
I miss u mom.
i sometimes see u in my dreams at night
and in my mind all of the time
i love and miss u a lot
but i try not to think of u that much,because it hurts so bad when i cry a river of 
tears,just for u
but i guess that's a good thing mom
because I'm still loving u and will always love,miss and respect u
even though your gone to a better place...
I MISS U MOM.


Details | I do not know? | |

I cry

Sometimes when I'm alone, I cry because I'm on my own.  The tears I cry are bitter 
and warm, they flow with life but take no form. I cry because my heart is torn and 
I find it difficult to carry on.  If I had a shoulder to cry on or someone who 
would lend an ear, I cry and tell them of my lost and lonely years.   The world 
moves fast and would rather pass by, then to stop and see what makes me cry. Though 
sometimes I cry and no one cares about why.  When I move on,they wont care when I'm 
gone, why I cried.


Details | I do not know? | |

Little Girl On Bended Knees

She’s a little girl abused in so many ways.
She knows for everything theirs a price she pays.
She doesn’t go where other children play.
So much lost.
So much at cost.
She’s berried with in her pleas.
Clothing tore to all degrees.
She runs to the church knowing everything he sees.
Maybe he can set her free.
Little girl on bended knees.

She can’t wash his smell away.
No matter how much she bathes.
Do you really have to love daddy this way.
Day by day she prays.
So many memories will prey.
She wishes they would just fade away.
In the bushes she hides.
Daddy is dead inside.
To god she will confide.

“God who will believe me?
Who will see?
Mom always said it was just me.
Now she has to see.”
Little girl on bended knees.

Her life is so hard in part.
Yet not compared to what she sacrifices in her heart.
He slices it up and rips it apart.
She wants to point blame
But lowers her head in shame.
God taking over this little soles hope 
And his heart is breaking.
There is so much she is staking.

She raises her bloody hands high.
Deep down she wishes she could die.
But she made daddy finally say goodbye.
Six years old murdering daddy to finally be free.
Little girl on bended knees.


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost Childhood

My sweet tortured soul,
stares back at me through the window,
slowly floating away from me,
stareing back with sad twinkling eyes,
tears running down her face,
as she sing my sweet childhood lulliby,
wishing me goodbye,
as I seep into darkness,
revieling my hidden self,
alone and helpless,
it floats away,
what I was is no more,
only the cold and malice remain,
as my childish soul glides to fair heaven,
with only a half-hearted soul remaining.


Details | Free verse | |

Poetic License

There is a force outside this walls
trying to penetrate the security.
Things kept crashing round us.
In love you were sheltered,                                                                                                
but now you color it hostility.
Your embracing the things
that take you away from us,
But you color them saviors.
We were encircled with words
Of loving-kindness as a support,
But you now color it bondage and chains.
With what vision do you
Contort the foundation,
Of our very make up?
We must see through different eyes.


Details | I do not know? | |

She wants to sing

The secret princess sits in her balcony
not of jewels and shiny diamonds
but of deceptions disguised as love

And she wants to sing

The pain hidden for she thinks it's trash
welcoming sighs deep in the night
don't cry anymore little angel eyes

and she wants to sing

Their eyes are angry;jealousy cries
green envy have you heard them shout
"you can't don't even try!"

and she wants to sing

The voices that said "not of your kind"
to her tender little heart
that thundering voice,deep in her mind

No one believed her heart was brave
able, willing, wanting to share
no one knew what she faced

And she wanted to sing

Mistakes inherited passed on to her
inherited without a care
and yet they screamed loud to the wind

"NOT OF YOUR KIND"

And maybe it was a whisper she heard
loud in her heart but all she wanted to say

I WANT TO SING


Details | Free verse | |

Shredded Innocence

A brisk ride with a little known uncle,
to a gathering of loved ones, reunited,
quickly turns to a journey of hell.

Torn away from her home,
she is subjected to a horrifying
world of depravity and terrorism.

On a country backroad,
with no one to witness,
her chastity is torn away,
along with ripped clothing and flesh.

Struggling for freedom, fighting for breath,
she strains against their hands.
They violate her tiny body with their own.
She screams and cries out for "Momma."
The tears flood her tiny eyes.
With no one to save her,
this nightmare is real.

Each movement brings forth more pain,
seeping to her very core.
She endures the ghastly assault 
from the demented couple, she does survive.

Back on the road, with drugs prevailing
the truck comes to a violent stop.
She runs to her earthbound savior
with wings of denim and an old red truck.
He rescues what is left of her angelic being,
kept safe until the enforcers present.

She now battles, not for her life, but her mind.
The outer scars will fade with time,
but his face and voice will haunt her
and live in her nightmares from now on.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dad

Hello there dad how have you been? Oh! Really thats great please don't let me begin. 
Where were you just last year when I nearly died of stress? Or how about two months ago 
when my whole life was a mess? I wondered where you were all of the time, now I'm 
fifteen three years from grown and you show up on the dime! Well go back where you came 
from back into the portal you walked through, who's my dad? wheres he at? Oh no it 
couldn't be you, I saw a completely different face at the age of two! So your really 
here? this isn't a joke? Ha! Go somewhere and choke! I never needed you before and I 
definatly don't need you now, and I can walk my own self down the isle!


Details | I do not know? | |

Kisses

Kisses can be powerful 
Kisses can change a little 
Girls heart to open and 
love the world once again.
Because she now sees how 
important the world is to
her and even though her
daddy is no longer living he
still wants her to know that 
he still loves her and that 
he thinks of her all the time 
and he watches out for her 
even when she's asleep. And
he wants her to be happy and
to be proud of herself and the 
world around her even though 
she thinks she can make it 
on her own in the back of
her mind she knows she will
need help and even though she 
may not agree with every thing 
there is to know about 
the world. but if there is 
one thing she can agree on 
it's that her daddy loves 
her with every kiss from 
the sky above. And every 
time the Wind blows it's 
her daddy talking to her. If
she would only listen a little 
closer she would be able to understand.


Details | I do not know? | |

You touched me down there

(This is a fictional poem but this really does happen.)

You touched me down there and I'm going to tell Mom and Dad.
Don't touch me there again because I know that it's bad.
You touched me down there and that was wrong.
When I tell my parents, you won't be my nanny for very long.
I'm only an eight year old boy, why do you treat me this way?
You touched me down there and when I tell on you, you're going to pay.


Details | Narrative | |

He Loved You

He loved you too, you know
Loved you like his very own
In away you were
You came into his life as my friend
Through the years you grew to be my brother in arms 
Along the way you became the son he never had

He loved you as a friend
He loved you even more as a son
A son he never had
When things began to spiral out of control
You stayed when so many others ran away
You helped when I couldn’t

You meant a great deal to him
You never looked at him differently 
Nor did you treat him differently
You stood by his side
When he fell, you stood by his side and mine
You were willing to help me fight his battle for him 
You were there from the beginning 
You were there until the bitter end
Always remember my friend, my brother
He loved you more than you’ll ever know


____________________________________________________________
Dedicated to close Family friend Rodney Howard. He loved my Daddy just as much as I did/do.


Details | Senryu | |

Playground

Kids go down
The slide…they head toward the swings
TIME TO SCREAM!

Free time ends
Their parents want to go home
Frowns exchange 


Details | Pantoum | |

They Took Away My Innocence

They took away my innocence—
A child, but merely two years old.
My soul left with ambivalence;
I hate myself as I grow old.

A child, but merely two years old—
Abandoned, glossed over, abused.
I hate myself as I grow old;
Completely left confused and used.

Abandoned, glossed over, abused—
Why would a person hurt a child?
Completely left confused and used—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.

Why would a person hurt a child?
My soul left with ambivalence—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.
They took away my innocence.

	



Details | Ballade | |

The fear of life

The fear of life.

For nine months in warm sweet world
I float there peacefully
Then cast into that birth canal
It kind of frightens me
I feel I’m suffocating
And I don’t know what it is
Too soon I enter crazy world
Far from the gardens bliss.

As light comes shining everywhere
The panic settles in
This world is filled with action
And so much awful din
I feel like I’m in trouble
Yet there’s naught that I can do
It seems this place is crazy
That I’ve been cast into.

Then as I grow from babyhood
And listen to the lies
That all these madmen tell me
Cause they’re not very wise
It seems that something’s wrong with me
My life it feels off key
So the only question on my mind
Is ‘What is wrong with me???’


Details | Rhyme | |

Eyes of Seminary

Eyes of Seminary – Zamreen Zarook

Every day in our lives has different fragrance,
God give us various things in abundance,
Day by day knowledge is gained in accordance,
Things depend according to the attendance.

Two years of studies,
Helped us to come out with various abilities,
Extremely joyful moments with buddies,
But life said every aspect has its boundaries.

Teachers become very friendly,
They approach us very kindly,
They speak on us exaggeratedly,
Because they know, if not we might behave badly.

Big shots in the school boundary,
These are years of foundry,
It helped us to find and go for laundry,
Marvelous days, fully packed with sundry.


Various angles the kith and kins are civilized,
It’s because our knowledge is enhanced,
Guys and girls turned well experienced,
That’s why we call it levels of advanced.


Details | Free verse | |

The Autumn Affect

There's something unspecific about the autumn nights
A certain shade of color that uplifts my inner child's eyes
Beside a cashmere moon Venus and Jupiter shine bright
Complimented by a sea of blinking infinite twilight
The scent of burning oak lingers in the air from home made fires
Reminiscent of a time when this man was just a child
Careless and so free to dream and any dream to live
Like feathers floating across a field carried by the wind
As a gentle breeze blows through the leaves shivering delightful gloom
Unlike flowers of springtime the disheveled autumn vibrance bloom
Leaves crackle beneath my feet along the skeleton tree path
Where I try to find my peace or a song to make me laugh
The air is so much crisper and also soothing when I breathe it in
Underneath a starry sky and brighter constellations of Heaven
Amidst the trail I pass a lovely couple holding hands
While their children run aside frolicking in a playful dance
An old man and his wife admire the view from a wooden bench 
With smiles on their face as if nostalgia is still their closest friend
Its these specific autumn affects that bring me sorrows and joy
Reminding me of all theses things Ive wanted as a man since I was a little boy 
Its times like these that I wish I wasn't always so alone
Because I would light an fire with my family and call it home


Details | Free verse | |

Final Adieu

Final Adieu

Let another sun set,
Let another flower wilt,
Let another autumn cast its gloom,
Let another tear role,
As ye part, and bid
The final adieu.

Suyash Saxena
St. Stephen’s college


Details | Rhyme | |

The Social Norm

Drink the drink, and take the pills, lay on the medication.
But your soul's forever lost to them without persistent dedication.
There's things we've learned, and things we will, to decide us right from wrong.
But your ears are only open, now, to a techno-logic song.
Social norms have bound you tight, then cut you awf'ly deep.
And still your soul beneath the surface begs of you, relief.
You waded in their welcome waters, thought it nice and cool
But now I'm sure you've figured out you're lost in sorrows pool
So take it from who knows you best
Someone who has passed this test:

Before you drift out in the sea And the shore's no longer in your view, I promise that I'll bring you back And if I can't, I'll follow you. Before your legs and arms grow weak And you've passed your final tier, I promise that I'll hold your hand; I promise you I'll still be here. Before your lungs are filled with water And our souls are parted once again, I promise you that you're forgiven; I promise you I'm still your friend. Before you close your sunken eyes Inviting night to kill the day Know your bright was never slight And soon you'll see your way.


Details | Rhyme | |

Be The Man

So much yelling all around me. How much more can I take?
I can act like nothing's wrong, but then my actions are fake.

I always try to be the man and just look the other way.
Their's no one to turn to, so I kneel down and pray.

Thank the lord for the good things and the strength for the bad.
Thank the lord for my blessings and all the good times I've had.

All my worries then stop. Long enough just to see...
Stop worrying about other lives, and start thinking about me.

So, I lift up my head. Wipe the tears from my eyes.
Hope to forget all the screams and try to look past the lies.

Dress up my best. It's time to show em, I can.
No more drama. No more games. This time I'll be the man.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Park -- Part One

Pigeons flutter in the park
eating refuse from the grass.
Noon comes; the hours pass.
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Silence reigns throughout the park.
A crumpled headline, a forgotten toy,
lifeless, do not hear a far-off bark.
In the park, not a single little boy.
Midnight comes; the hours go --
soon, the sky begins to glow...
morning breaks, and with it, sound.
In the park begins the morning round.
White skeletons of benches -- slats --
in all the wintry parks of Age
fill up in morning. Deserted flats,
each with the aspect of a cage,
become an unused, waiting gauge
that measures dull and wasted years --
floods of loneliness -- rivers of fears...
The weak and battered, pallid crowd
which, daily, parks ingest
speak in muted tones; but loud
is the message all suggest.
The clangor of the beaten Belles,
trampled in the slime of years,
entreats the mind to plug its ears;
yet, if it will, it hears...
memories, perhaps, keep active still
the shriveled and the loosened flaps
that are the mouths of all the Bills --
reduced to gray and ugly gaps...
Down the graveled pathways come
children bent on carefree play.
Belles, though silent, are not dumb,
nor will the Bills forego their say.
But warnings fall on ears too deaf;
around are eyes too blind to see.
And so the tots, too young for Death,
play on and on till time for tea.
Day after day after day
children come and children play.
Pigeons flutter in the park;
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Once more, deep silence claims the park.
Midnight hours come and go.
The sky again assumes a glow.
Wind stirs dead leaves to rustle.
Starts again the aimless bustle
of the battered, weak, and infirm-eyed:
those whom living failed -- who died
but still must play their signal role
of unloved, friendless, unhailed Old;
who gather daily in the park
to envy tots their vital spark --
the hope, the promise in their eyes --
before it fades, before it dies.
But tots at play -- the young, the bold --
must laugh and sing -- cannot be told
that youth's not long and Time is cold.
Time devours -- a ravenous beast --
and men are the courses at his feast.
Some he swallows in their prime,
 On some he waits too long a time:
 these rancid morsels, Time's midnight snack,
explore their memories. They hie them back
 to that old moment, deepest black, 
when they first dared to know -- and first said --
that Time's the master all men dread.
(Please read The Park -- Part Two, which is a continuation of
this poem...due to space limitations)


Details | Elegy | |

Grandfather

My Grandfather High-backed chair facing the corner, Window over books so cherished Loved. Like the greatest of scholars, but still humble He was a trove of stories Air of silence on a place once full Of stories from a time past, A time of honor and courage and duty Of country and spirit; fighting an enemy Made from indescribable evil. Tales of valor, sand, and bullets Lions and machine guns, young men in battle Fighting for their lives. Knowing the enemy was like a jackal Cruel and twisted, an army of evil He witnessed it all First hand, in the heat of the day And cold of night. Tales passed on, spoken In a way that conveyed such knowledge That one was to sit in amazement, and hear it Firsthand from the chair facing the corner. Like a throne of deep thought. The day he left this world, I wept. Seeing him not but a day before, It was harder than I could have imagined. The pain is real, but so were the memories And so the legacy of the veteran lives on. The chair sat vacant, but I felt him there. The books on the shelf, the other treasures Left behind held him here on earth While the memories anchored him in our hearts. The man in the chair shall never be forgotten And the stories shall pass far into the generations.


Details | Rhyme | |

If I Had One Wish

So many thoughts come to mind If only I could really go back in time Change or undo my life’s violent and sexual crimes Tell those around me to open their eyes Pay Attention to the signs If only one wish could really rewind Those pedophilic hands of my life-time… Then I stopped and started to think Who would I be if this didn’t happen to me? What of the woman I’d come to be The wisdom I’d come to see And my children who’s lives are abuse free As a result of my past… my history… Now, with eyes wide and mind free Heart pounding, air, LOVE and life in me Blessed with children to change my legacy, Equipped with words and strength to share my story… my poetry I’d wish only to open the eyes of the blind The mouths of the abused and the hearts of our society… I’d make them see… I’d make them see So no other child has to end up like me… Lay
** For the "If I Had One Wish Contest"


Details | Bio | |

Busy

They took the guile and base for me
prostrate outside the gate for me
when I was four
I asked for more
they said they'd do their best for me
They knelt beside my bed for me
when I was sick with leprosy
I cried all night 
by candlelight
They sang a song of clemency
Instilled my life’s integrity
with vigilant intensity
such memories
glow easily
intelligence adhered to me
With discipline I should abide
with inspirations far and wide
to school I went
with confidence
and pick-axe handle by my side
But now I'm so much older
though heart is so much colder
I'm also so much stronger
in need of care no longer
I haven't got the time for you
I'm blessed with better things to do.


Details | Kyrielle | |

Raven's End

I know that taking my life is a sin,
But you don’t know how much pain I am in;
Death is better than this hell I’ve been through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

My tortured soul robs me of breath,
All I seek is the release of death;
Requesting redemption in the gun I cling to,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

I’m considering briefly the life I must end,
Nothing is left but the chance to transcend;
And this decaying body that I pass through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

Raven they named me, but now they are gone,
I’m all alone since they both passed on;
Soon I will see them, it’s long overdue,
God grant me mercy for what I must do;

I beg for forgiveness as I let myself go,
Tears trickle down as I feel my heart slow;
Hopefully now I’ll get to see you,
So God grant me mercy for what I must do.


Tirzah Conway
~For the contest "Among the Dead"~


Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | Free verse | |

THE NIGHT FALLS

I first lived in Brooklyn  
I later moved to queens

It was a struggle all we had to
eat was white rice and beans .
My whole life I watched people 
slit throats to chase their dreams. 

Gun shots was my alarm clock,
and the constant sound of ambulance
reminded me to cherish life To cherish 
a breath that many may never again

Mama always said don't keep friends to close, men will deceive you, 
I said yea right mama I don't believe you, until my friends turned in to snakes and snakes turned to lions and lions turned in to poison apples and then turned in to snakes again, moving in tall grass and took a big chunk out my ass and left a scar that will last,  
that's when I learned how to heal my own  wounds and take out my own trash  

I grew up to soon
I had to be a solider  
I had to be a goon 
to deal with these buffoons 

late nights, coming home drug addicts
would be stretched out on the steps ,
with a needle in his arm it wasn't anything 
new I continued to walk ,crossing over his 
body shaking my head

I knew he wasn't dead, it was just all the 
drugs that messed up his  head,

the hall way walls had dried 
blood stains and dried gum. 
The floors had empty cups, 
smoked cigarettes,empty 
weed bags and condoms.

A little kid walks by and asks what's that?
Her mom says its a balloon.
Knowing that shes growing up
and she will know far to soon 


The elavators has graffiti with 
small drying puddles of urine 
but I became immune to it
I stood at the corner


I slept on the floor with out a pillow for my head
I said it was better off being dead at least in the
coffin they give you cushion for your head...


To be continued My pen is to DRunk.....


Details | Pantoum | |

Holding on to summer days

Invisible bars on my window sill
Summer breeze set me free
Popping seaweed bubbles on the beach
Screaming out but never heard

Summer breeze set me free
Beach sticks on a shard of glass
Screaming out but never heard
Innocence being swept away

Beach sticks on a shard of glass
My Baby self never was
Innocence being swept away
Holding on to summer days

My Baby self never was
Invisible bars on my window sill
Holding on to summer days
Popping seaweed bubbles on the beach


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Cinquain | |

Young Girls Pain

Love
Deceitful, wicked
Weeping, cringing, loathing
Things children shouldn’t feel
Hate
 
Intimacy
Repulsive, severe
Struggling, bleeding, collapsing
My pain continues unheard
Father
 
Hope
Abandoned, faulty
Hiding, listening, praying
Life is my suffering
Justice
 
Purpose
Forbidden, fruitless
Reeling, clutching, grinning
The agony has ended
Redemption

For more poetry goodness visit  www.checkmyflow.co.uk 


Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Narrative | |

Physically and Mentally Abuse

I was born in a world of poverty and soiled life of a third world country
The way I lived till I was five years of age was walls of boundary
These walls had towers of guards that had no heart or care
If a child would try to climb the wall they lose their life I swear

Father had drank and threatened my mother with a knife
My father lost his job and wife and that was the hardship of life
He stopped my mother from taking off with me in her arm
Hoping that my father would ignore and left me be with no harm

When my father went off to drink one night and came home with rage
My brothers stood by my crib and took a beating that set up the next stage
My father had woken up to three scared children half starved and in pain
His final words as he walk away from the orphanage gate live life do not go insane

I was still a baby in the orphanage; the caretakers did not really care about the babies
They stole items and materials those wicked men and maternal evil ladies
They starved all the babies because it cost a lot to keep them alive
As a child of that age I could feel the sins and greed that gave out bad vibes

I was ignorant about what I drank and ate, as I see white maggots move in my bottle
As I see them move I thought about how they were playing and some were hostel
They ate each other to keep each other alive in a manner that took me by surprise
In the back round I hear others throwing things with sounds of painful cries

I got very strong at a young age I was able to start pulling myself up over the cage
My feelings were to see my brothers with strong lungs that I cried out of rage
My two brothers came to see me and sneak food into my crib
The caretaker would find the food in my hands as they grabbed it and hit me on my ribs

As painful as it was I kept eating the food with blood in my mouth as it was instinct
I sometimes laid in my crib dazed and confused with smell of death so distinct
With all my might I kept myself strong and climb the small wall
I finally was old enough to get out of the building and I could hear my brothers call

With tears of joy with short legs that ran as fast as my heart
I ran to my brothers arms and held their hands to have a new start
I grew stronger everyday but more things came into my life in a manner of dismay
If my brothers stay by my side I could smile and everyday their would be okay



Details | Terzanelle | |

our homeless plight

come, my child, let me hold you tight,
so I can keep you warm tonight.
I pray God ends our homeless plight.


Dr. Ram's triplet contest


Details | Free verse | |

Bao - Yu

<                                         Bao - Yu
                                        precious jade
                                    your angelic font 
                                  cast mirrored images
                                      off stilled pond


                                  orchids in woven hair
                                  garments of satin and lace
                                  you lying in fetal position
                                  upon granite's stone
                                  tell me heavenly Goddess


                                  Why Do You Look So Sad  ?




Written By Katherine Stella

For Rambling Poet's
Reflection Contest 

G.L. ALL

Name Of This Poem 
Is Entitled
Bao -Yu


Details | Rhyme | |

RIP Baby "Angel"

Hush little baby, sleep in peace, and know
That one day will all meet, by your
Side will hold you high, until that day
Spread your wings, and be our Angel
In the sky, even though our question
Remains at why, the moment you left
Tears struck our eyes, Baby boy we
Hear you "Tell mommy and daddy not
To cry keep me safe in your Hearts"...
For my Baby nephew who lived 2hrs.


Details | Lyric | |

Elysium Dream of Love

I close my weary eyes
Holding onto the hope
Of not having to cope
Not a mintue longer
Without you by my side
Not expierencing
The warm look in your eyes
The tingling rush of your finger tips
That would grip my hair tight
To stop you from slipping into the night
Biting  your bottom lip
As a pinch to yourself
To see if it was real
The dream of love we felt
And now that you are gone
I only wish to die
Your image fades from my mind
Sometimes I see it clear,
The sun is skillfully stroking it set in the sky
As my feet float down the road across the tuscan country side
I ever so gently sense the wildy grown wheat
Tickling these troubled lines engraved in the palm of my hand
I playfully pick one out of the land and pluck the grains
I look up and in the distance is where she waits
But there she remains peacefully strolling through the calming field
In a white cotton dress that tails off in the wind and
wearing a small confident smile that makes my yearning heart yield
Whispering in my ear that soon I will make it home
But my Life's journey must continue down this God paved road
I awake with the longing of her, But with so much to do
I need God's strength for one more day to get through


Details | Free verse | |

The Never Ending Battle

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

JS Lambert



Details | Free verse | |

In Gods arms

Month one

Mommy

I am only 8 inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Every time I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heart beat

is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

you could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy

my hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs.

I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I don't like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy

I am okay.

I am in God's arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

.


Details | Free verse | |

A Costly Mistake

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Lyric | |

TO PAPA -Through the eyes of his little girl

Through the eyes of this little girl, to her Papa, no one could compare
Always dashing in grey and navy suits with a white shrt and burgundy tie
How she'd stare in awe, wide-eyed; her little face turn upward in gaze
With a deep, stern voice he corrected, yet, with soft eyes, and warm hugs he consoled
The world demands so much from a man and sometimes he was not perfect
His bane was his good looks and a kind and honest heart
During his younger years he struggled, yet his love for his family stayed true
He was proud man in many ways and kept his promise to God and his wife
Througout the years of struggle, he never left his queen in thirty-five years

"Papa", one of God's creations by special design-fire and ice-compassionate and kind, 
Those who dared to cross him learned a lesson everytime
Through extraordinary battles, some won and others lost 
Each challenge imposed, he rose and met-a remarkable feat!

Then came one day, with his final battle raging, in some world beyond our eyes
His body racked and worn with pain, Papa was sent home to say good bye
My "Papa" stood tall one last time- and chose life with his Creator!


Details | Rhyme | |

Grandma's Faded Dreams

Dad’s mother never recognized me
She would just lie in bed before a TV
And I always wondered why she blankly stared
At a screen filled with snowy images, as if she never cared

In my childhood years, I couldn’t relate
How grandma had reached this dreadful state
I thought of her as oblivious and introverted
But she’d been that way since her husband deserted

Dad was but four and his sister one
When the family unit came undone
There were times grandma would glance at photos by her bed
Faded images of ancestors long dead

It wasn’t until I was twelve years old
On a Christmas Day with temperatures cold
That my father received the distressing call
And down his face a tear did fall

The call from a half-brother he’d never known
Bore a message that chilled Dad to the bone
“Our father’s gone,” this stranger said
Dad turned and related, “Your grandfather’s dead.”

At the funeral we met uncles Bob and Tom
Upon viewing the casket, we strove to remain calm
This man who looked so much like Dad
Had remarried without divorcing, yet we were sad

A bigamist who’d left his wife to waste away
Heavy on my heart, grandma’s plight did weigh
Now I knew why her mind had been cast adrift
And why through old memories she’d always sift

Dad treated grandma with compassion and respect
But upon her death, Dad did reflect
On his only childhood memory of joy
A trip with his father to Coney Island for a four-year-old boy


*Entry for Carol’s “Memories of Grandma or Grandpa” contest


Details | Free verse | |

For Suzanne, Green and Golden

“The October night comes down; returning as before
Except for a slight sensation of being ill at ease
I mount the stairs and turn the handle of the door
And feel as if I had mounted on my hands and knees.”
----- “Portrait of a Lady;” T. S. Eliot

A golden afternoon,
Late October, and my thoughts
Are all of you, Suzanne…
Vestiges of your being
Appear on visages of 
A hundred different people;
But none are you, not one 
As green,  as golden.

Hard it is to know no miracle
Will mend, no giddy hope assuage,
The scourge that slowly puts an end
To our valiant green and golden girl.
Memory takes us to days of indolence,
Of innocence, of children lying on a levee,
Deep in lush, green, summer clover --
In sunlight almost as golden
As your hair -- beside a flowing river
Bearing away our golden hours
And the painless green  of youth.
 
Now, in your green room, reclined
In shadow, our golden girl reposes.
Your courage lights the coming night
That does not dim the gold and green
You always shared, and still you share.



Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Couplet | |

Indigenous I Am, from the Stolen Generations

This is a journey, a trip call it what you will It follows the footsteps of my ancestors, and allows my thoughts too spill Firstly let me take you back, to tell you so little of my past Indigenous I am, from the "Stolen Generations" I did not last This is why I must make this journey, to allow me to find the real me To retrace the few steps I made, to rediscover what my young eyes seen How ironic that the person I'll ride with, is the son of the then official Whose deliberation to round up us children, the scene, locale It's now the morn of our travel, where I look I find hard to see The peripheral of the distant horizon, is all that really captures me The town where I grew up so young, barely to the age of five Perth, now bustles like a termites nest, zig zagging in busily strive Into the bush we go, to a place where us youngsters so enjoyed Moore River Native Settlement, which soon became children void As I walk my arid lands, patterned in the heat of this day I recall with every step, where us Indigenous children played We could survive on the smallest of fruit, water we could easily find Even the son of the then official, said that we are a superior kind He marvelled when I spotted tracks, traces of where animals crossed Remembering back to when I was five years old, our lands always talked We opened up as we led our horses, introduced all those centuries ago They opened up my lands, rivers we walked, now the white man flows This is a journey I had to make, it's called, it's in my will No more "Stolen Generations" no more will my culture spill


Details | Senryu | |

Wishes


he blows out candles wishes are a boy's laughter his face is my smile across the ocean a boy falls asleep hungry no birthday wishes


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hunger Game

Come little children- come and eat-There’s plenty all scattered about
Stale flat bread and biscuit crumbles -You must dig them out
Banana peelings and lettuce leafs -You may clean the dirt off neat
Perhaps the peelings of a Fu Fu dish- just to make a sweet
Come little one- come and eat- The little child’s belly cries
The flies will lead you to bush meat- the maggots where it lies 
Coconut and cassava cakes- perhaps a little rice
Just below the burning heap where the neighbor’s dead dog lies
The smorgasbord lies beyond the hill-the town’s other side
Forgive the stench- just pass the boneyard -where your nine year old brother died


Details | Sijo | |

LOTUS




Don’t cry, baby sister, I will tickle your tiny toes,

Though my broken ones are bound so tightly that each has disappeared,

There, see, the lotus blooms not in the foot, but in the eye.








By Cyndi MacMillan, For Nette Onclaud’s “On Your Feet” Contest



About this Poem

Foot binding was practiced in China from the Tang Dynasty until 1911. The binding began at the age of three. First, the feet were soaked in warm herbs and blood, as a preparation. Then, the toes were broken and bent down towards the heel. Next, they would snap the arch of the foot. After that, bandages were woven in figure 8 to push the ball of the foot towards the heel. The bandages were sewn shut so the child could not remove them. Finally, the girl was required to immediately stand up to further crush the bones into the ideal shape. The pain was excruciating. 

The bandages were removed, the foot was cleansed, then the bandages were tightened. 

Infection was a large risk. It was considered PREVERABLE that toes fall off, as this would further decrease the size of the foot. Some parents would insert small pieces of glass into the toes with this hope. The girl would walk on these bound, broken feet with shards of glass imbedded!

Over time, the foot was supposed to represent the lotus. The ‘Golden Lotus’ was thought to show a woman’s submissiveness and femininity. It was also considered erotic. The ideal size of the Golden Lotus was 3 inches. 

Unbelievably, tiny, Lotus slippers can still be purchased in China as “souvenirs.” 

Please, if you can, click on the About this Poem link for a picture of a bound foot.


Details | Lyric | |

When love turns cold

When Love Turns Cold.

Another one bites the dust,
   As the game of love’s played out,
And It seems that she don’t love him anymore.
And tears run down young faces,
And young minds fill with doubts,
       As a father turns and walks on through that door.

So little minds confused 
And little hearts all bruised,
They peer into the awful damage done.
As old children play old games,
And both each other blame,
   They later find that nothing’s ever won.

But love’s grown cold it’s over now,
He’s gone, it’s done, someone has failed,
And the children they must ride it all somehow.

The house feels empty now,
All grey and cold somehow,
And little hearts they fill with too much sorrow.
And a young man walks the street,
All tired and feeling beat,
   His sadness reaching out to all tomorrows.

2003


Details | Couplet | |

The Ninth Of December

Daddy left Mommy, when I was two
She really didn't know what to do
Four little children under the age of six
Was a situation, she just could not fix

Christmas was coming, she didn't have a dime
The bills were piling up at the same time
She tried to focus on her belief,
Lost the battle and applied for relief

A county program, for the very poor
Barely kept the collectors from our door
So sad she was, by her lack of funds,
She couldn't buy presents, for her little ones

With grandma watching us, she left to go out
She never came home, we were forgot about
I was too young to remember Christmas that year,
It was years, before the whole story, I'd hear

Grandma tried hard to make it right,
She took care of us until Mom returned, one night
Branded in my memory, the day of her return
After nine long months, I would later learn

Mom never mentioned the time she was away
She loved us to the fullest every single day
Twenty-four years quickly flew by
When I think of the day it happened, I cry

God took my mother on the ninth of December
Unexpected, a loss I'll always remember
Going through her belongings, we came across.
A small newspaper article, that intensified the loss

How we found it I will  never know
This plea, with a picture, from so long ago
As I read the article, blurred by my tears
I was transported back, through the years

To a little girl on grandma's knee
Looking at a shabby, Christmas Tree
Crying for her mommy, who wasn't there
While grandma patted her silky hair

Grief, it hit me, no time to hesitate
When I saw the significance of the date
December ninth, the paper, said it all
Memory upon memory, I would recall

Two events, so many years apart
Yet, I could feel the child with a broken heart
Holiday Spirit, sad to say, I had none
Decorating that year without the usual fun

Mommies little tree, on a table it sat
Her homemade ornaments, and a tree mat
Going through the motions, I have to admit
All I wanted to do, was quit

Events don't shape us, they make us learn
Even grief, has its turn
Memories of a Christmas, thirty years past
Impressions, they fade, but still last


By Karla Null~Godsgift~

Your "Saddest" Christmas Ever Contest

Sponsored by Constance LaFrance~A Rambling Poet~










Details | Light Poetry | |

I Think I Just Miss Home

And as the weary dawn laid all its burdens upon the restless sky, a quite light of morning tickled the sleepy heart of mine, a yearning tear landed on my cozy pillow, and a well painted smile crossed its way through my lips, I left up my head and gazed into the sky through the glass of my dusty window, I put on my coat and rushed myself out, the air was clouded with cold breezes of wind, and the street was still wet of few drops of rain, the pavements were empty and I was the lonely who’s passing down this road, I lighted up a cigarette, sighed deeply and whispered to myself: I think I just miss home.

I think I miss my torn out toys up in the shelf of my closet, and I miss that crowded street we used to play on till night, the air was fresher and the sky was brighter, the sun used to be shining and life used to be the sweetest, I think I miss home where all my troubles rest as I sleep and all my aches fade away as I weep, home is where all the memories dwell and all the dreams shine, home is where I belong and I think I lost my way back home.

Samar Saleh
http://echoes19.wordpress.com/


Details | Free verse | |

The -C- Word, Tinged in Pink

Two sisters, they were, I remember well
Two halves of one heart, it seemed to me
Their story has faded along with their names

They lived next door where my childhood dwells
They shared a tiny bungalow
Neither were wed, although I know
One had been tempted, to leave the nest
But, fate, even love, could not let her go….

They were a pair, one fair and lean
The other plump, both meekly seen
Behind the blinds, but they were kind
Good neighbors, friends, when called to be
And trusted, by mother, to watch over me…

One sister, became grave, so white and pale
As days went by, more thin, more frail
Hushed whispering, behind closed doors 
What was that “C” word…hanging there?
My mother’s tears upon the news
From a word so feared, no one could use

Banish the unmentionable from tender ears
“Shush, shush, my dear…no need to know”
“It’s nothing you need to fret or care”

My nights were dark, and black with fear
What was the “C” that lingered near?

Pity for those who could not share
Two sisters, dear….I  loved them so
Where was the comfort that calmed their fears?
And wiped the tears, and gave them cheer?
Sisters, who kneeled to tend my wounds
Faced their own, alone….





-            -           -          -         -
(when cancer was an unmentionable word"


Details | Light Poetry | |

Fatherless Child

There once was a day I would watch every airplane.
Praying you was on it to come take me away.
As a child I wanted you around until the day, you actually came.
The day you came is the day my life forever changed.
I remember as if it was yesterday when you physically violated me.
Mental visions as early as the age of eight, but old enough to vociferate.
Visualizing mental pictures in my mind while I am awake very aware of the improper abuse I take.
Your body on me feels something like an autopsy of a dead body.
While you lay on top of me as you press aggressively on me.
Against my will your force kept me still.
I am trying to understand if you recognize who I am.
I try to say no hoping you can comprehend; I am weakling as you apprehend.
Mentally and physically I became involuntarily your property. 
A main character in a horror story, and you were my predatory.
I asked “God why?” as I bare to stare into his eyes.
This is not thee love I seek; all I wanted was my father to love me, but not like this injustice of violation of my rights.
This love is not real; not the love I wished to feel.
As he tries to stick his tongue into my mouth too young to know what this is all about.
I grip my lips painfully tight as he tries to slip his tongue inside.
I close them tighter with all my might, as he whispers, “let me love you right” 
I beg him to leave as he pried my legs open with his knees my insides scream “somebody please help me!”
As he whispers how much he loves me I’m praying for God to just kill me.
I rather be dead then a man’s punching bag.
As I lay there my body was dead, and I laid my soul to rest.
I looked around the room and seen the Old Spice on the desk the same fragrance he wore around his neck.
The sun began to rise as he began to close my thighs.
In that moment in time I had made up my mind any man that ever say they love me was just telling lies.
I learned the hard way that love does not kill your inside; love does not take your pride.
A fatherless child I shall forever reside.
Every day that passes that little eight-year-old girl dies slowly inside.
Asking Jesus,” Why permit this?” and he slowly whispers…as I gently whimpers, “faith is the light that guide you through the darkness, my words reflecting as a lamp unto my feet.”
“Walk unto my path I’m here to carry the weak, come into me you are weary and overburdened. I will carry the pain you have obtained.”
“I am your father and you are my child you are never fatherless because I’m always around.”


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Grandad's Missing

There's a void, now
Where once a steadfast heart beat time
The soul in perfect harmony with life's uncertain pulse
With those who clambered eagerly in solace or in joy
To scale that mighty pinnacle
The Rock, within the bosom of the family

There's a void, now
But marvel at the structure, the firmness of the ground beneath
The strata richly layered with wisdom of generations past
A fault free seam constructing firm foundations
Binding those within the bosom of the family

There's a void, now
A hollow cavern 
echoing the anger and the pain
Trust time; it has no fear of finite elements
The source of unremitting pain
Within the bosom of the family

There's a void, now
So fill the emptiness and catalogue the memories
Harvesting the richness of their meaning
The fullness of the seed sown long ago
To bloom forever within the bosom of the family


Details | I do not know? | |

Anger Pain and Dramatic Stress

Anger, pain and dramatic stress 
The 3 things that I possess
Me, Reggie is okay at times
I sometimes choose to confide in my rhymes
I express my feelings through a pen
Just like some women get satisfaction through men.
This isn’t a poem because this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast, just too fast to be caught.
I hate being stressed
Just like I hate being possessed
I don’t mean to sound evil and mean
But I am different from the other people you have seen.
This is not a poem…this is a thought
I have thoughts moving so fast that they can’t be caught.
I have it good to some…others have it good to me
Some don’t realize how hard it is to be
A poet…it’s hard writin’ poetry with a lot of feeling
You feel forced to write something appealing
You break down cause cus’ you feel an obligation
To write good poetry that there breaks your concentration
I found a solution that my mind’s fighting
Maybe I should stop all the poetry and all the writing
These are fast ideas too fast to be caught
This isn’t a poem this is just a thought


Details | Couplet | |

Mr Wonderful

A broken promise, demoralized man who is incapable of being true, 	
A thoughtless coward, oblivious clown, this is what I think of you,

A woeful chicken, a runaway guy is how you're now portrayed,
A selfish critter, a prideful morsel is the reputation you have made,

When flesh spoils in a slaughter house the smell of you comes to mind,
For your manipulation has made you completely colorblind,

In your mothers soil you were the bad seed,
As you grew up we realized you were just a weed,

A fragmentation, with no revelation is who you really are,
A scab that stopped healing, the beggar who keeps on stealing, now just another scar,

A predicable cycle, a sick little mess, a hidden agenda that isn’t well dressed,
A miserable liar, disposable fool, too bad you weren’t like an infertile mule,

Just like a wolf, you would consume your own,
For apparently humanity was something you were never shown,

Just like wild animals that abandon their first litter,
You fit right in, you unoriginal quitter.

By: Sabina Nicole
Written:9/29/11
Contest:Angry


Details | I do not know? | |

I am...

I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter, hiding my depression
I am your sister, striving to make a great impression
I am your friend acting like I'm fine
I am a dreamer, wishing this life, wasn't mine
I am a girl who struggles with suicide
I am a teenager, pushing her tears aside







Side note: (Writing for other ladies out there, not so much myself, so don't worry about me)


Details | Light Poetry | |

STOLEN CHILDHOOD

Childhood is the time to enjoy
A time without tensions and worries
The value of it can be known
from the one who had lost it
It is the time one used to go behind the butterflies
Playfullness and naughtiness will be a childs chariots
Days will be spend with games and jokes
It is the time to attain boldness and courage
For the one who had lost it
there does not exist any playfullness and naughtiness
Does not used to go behind the butterflies
To get rid of tensions and worries
used to watch others playing !


Details | Free verse | |

Last Sonnet



Hither I stand, at crossroads,
And then I gaze, at the yonder end-
The vague horizon from where I began;
And all that I may ever deem
Is that- my days
Have been a waken dream.

Hither I stand, at the edge of my dream;
Then I wonder, at the depth of my trance-
An adventurous journey through the wondrous woods;
An idyllic stroll through the vicissitudinous meadow;
And from the final station as I depart,
All that I can ever say, is that
Perpetuation has been a rouge
Of fleeting phases of my life.


Suyash Saxena 
St. Stephen’s College.


Details | I do not know? | |

poems

poems of love 
poems of hate 
closing doors
 and clicking gates 

Gates of white 
Gates of blue
 all beg for something new
 
something new
  something old
 something saying lets be bold 

i  know you
 and i know something you 
would like to do 

 so take my hand 
and lets leave behind the seas
 and the sand
 
 fly to a new beginning 
leave all these people we watch 
sinning
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Childhood Memory-Betsy

When I was young I always felt left alone, because my mother was often sleeping. So through our house I would always rome, to find a mother who was passed out from drinking. But I had this little blanket for some reason I named it Betsy, carried her with me everywhere, take her from me and I would get testy. This house had an upstairs room where the sun would shine down so bright. I would often nap there down on the floor, with my Betsy in the warm sun's light. Well one year my parents had split, the kids were all taken away. You can bet I brought my Betsy, looking for new parents along the way. We found ourselves some parents, I'm forever thankful for to this day. For adopting me and my Betsy, and giving us a new place to stay. Getting older through the years, and feeling I didn't need her anymore. I folded up my dear Betsy then placed her in a drawer. One day while we were moving I found her, there she laid. There was my sweet Betsy, who was with me through all the pain. So I decided to give her to Goodwill, hoping she would find a new place to stay. Maybe in the arms of another lonely little child, she would help them to get through their day.
Dan Kearley:7-4-11 (10)


Details | I do not know? | |

Blank Page

i'm a blank page
empty
waiting for someone 
to leave their mark
empty
words fill the page
my life's words
marred by scars inflicted
by another
gashes, cuts
but still empty
but wish it wasn't 
pieces are torn and lost 
words faded and worn
stains of blood and tears
fill the spaces
a filthy piece of paper
and yet it's still empty


Details | Haiku | |

Carnations

Rows of carnations
children grab, defying rule
time withers with them.


© ~JSLambert  2011


Details | I do not know? | |

For Men Everywhere One Billion Rising

1 Billion Rising.

For Men Everywhere.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

Stop!

Stop the abuse!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Listen!

Listen to the voices!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Think!

Think of how you treat,

grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Act!

Act now to change yourself!

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when you stop,

the violence,
the abuse,
the rape.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

is perpetrated by,

grand-fathers,
colleagues,
boyfriends,
husbands,
nephews,
brothers,
partners,
fathers,
uncles,

men,

all men.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when us men stop,

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

today, now.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dad

My dad passed away when I was nine
That it didn't make me feel fine
I have pictures of him
Which always makes me grin
I have some memories
But not so many
I miss him everyday and night
Which I think of him with delight
He was way to young
For him to be gone
It's been so long ago since he left us so dear
I love him always and true
Theres no other dad like him so true


Details | Free verse | |

YOU NOW BELONG TO HEAVEN

I was waiting for you
With an open arms
Your arrivals was such a happiness
That I was longing for
You left this world
Before you even seen it
This was the deepest sorrow
I ever had
It really tear me apart
I had so many dreams for you
That just gone with the wind
Without achieving anything
The bible says...
...never ask the Lord why
But, everything that happens
Happen for a reason
I never get the chance 
To tell you that I Love you
Neither to hold in my arms
I never had the chance
To prove to you 
That I am your protector
Your role model
A shoulder for you to cry on
Someone that you can rely on
I was so happy to receive 
A new born in our family
But the day that I welcome you
Was that same day that I say...
...goodbye, farewell to you forever
You now belong to heaven
May your soul rest in peace
You will always be love and missed sadly
May the Good Lord
Bless and keep you always



I wrote this poem for my little sister who died during birth.



Details | Free verse | |

secrets

she was barely two
she got to stay home
from church
with uncle d.

they played cards
he made her laugh as
she sat on his knee

he said this is a secret
between you and me
grandma would get
mad at us

then on a stormy 
winter night he took
her to his bed
and he hurt her

he said this is our
secret grandma
must never know
or she will send
you away 

she remembered
those three steps
down to his bedroom
when she was forty

he was in his grave
and the secret was
kept, grandma
never knew.


Details | Lyric | |

UNFOLD

The pain of change as it unfolds
Is oft a tale that stays untold
What is seen is a whole creature
not deep holes in the feature
nor concrete soles that makes his feet hurt

It all begins with a soft kiss
He is walking with a false bliss
Only following in paw prints
But the nature of mom's lips
Is to rob him of all innocence

Trapped in warm spindles of fear
A wrapped life form kindles in here
Four years bound to shingles of moss
Time to leave this life of sloths
Break free like that of a moth
and Rise again like Christ on the cross


Details | Free verse | |

Child Abused

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Monorhyme | |

As I Lay At The Streets...

I closed my eyes and slipped into the world.
Where the valley was green and the sun rays gold.
As I walked the grass my feet felt cold;
My heart felt a warmth unseen, untold.

I walked to the stream and wondered why,
The real world was uglier, as i watched the birds fly.
Why a murderer would kill, why a lover betray?
Why a soldier joined battles, but his family would stay?

Why a man could discriminate black and white?
Why the world could never overcome the selfish-tide?
Why could I find pleasure in only my dream place?
Why contentment touched, only the ocean's surface?

I turned exhausted and began to gasp for air,
I could feel the darkness come, which was never there.
I knew from within that this world would be gone;
When I am back awake, my clothes will still be torn...


Details | Free verse | |

My Mama

My Mama she trips out in the moon light
when I’m safely tucked up in bed
she dresses to wow her audience
but I know not of her occupation
when I ask I am greeted by silence
and then “You will understand when you grow up”

My Mama she returns at break of day
before the curtains begin to twitch or draw
she’ll come in exhausted and fix my breakfast
then checking in on me she’ll wake me for school
before she goes off to bed – she’ll see me later
to ask about my day and play

A Mamas kiss, a smile, a hug, warmth, food and a roof
Yet when we go out together people turn 
to talk to one another, quietly nodding
Funny looks are cast our way and yet not one shall speak to us
Aged nine in school I find out why 
when another child will laugh

“Ya Mama works the streets
lies on her back, watches the sky – to feed ya
-Tis what my Ma said”
It makes me cry
I love my Mama
but this shame hurts

I want to die…


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

I'm like a lion
Tryin to be  trained
to behave in a cage, but
I wasnt born to be tame
Full of stress and rage
 Im compressed and chained
Infected with depression
beCause I cant catch a break
Lifes taste is so tart
In pain from my scars
Stained by lame luck
Stuck behind apace car
I strive to write
But all I can type is the space bar
I'm Pervaded with doubt
About to freakout
Quick Someone bail me out
I would sniff my way out
but I got this cyst on my snout
From 6 years of this drought
Im sittin with this could of pout
Stickin to me like jam from a can
like melted candy in your hand
I'M a pantree full of Spam
 A Letter without the stamp
A debtor without a plan
Like chicken on a pan without any Pam,
Damn I'm starting to get pissed
 I got to devise a plan, before I break my fist,
Punching this brick wall, I got the spit but no ball
got the wits with no squall, like a toliet with no stall
 Slippin in a pit fall, Shiz just snow balls
I want to brawl, missed last call
My Stick shift just stalled,
This lawl has no intention at stopin at all
And I'm kicking myself in the balls
like old men walking up and down the halls
so i flop, just like a dust mop
Now i got knots in my food box
The size of king kongs rocks and
Every door has been locked
I try to soar but its all for not


Details | Free verse | |

The Piano Stand

I was sitting at the piano stand,
cracking my hands, getting ready to play,
when a man walked in, no one knew who,
he was, because no one had seen him in a while.

He sat in a chair, his hair so blonde and long as could be,
my hand touched the piano key,
I realized it was my dad not that it was bad,
just why was he here, i can't bare to see his face.

I stopped playing,
I started saying,
How mad i am for his fame,
He walked out of the school in shame.

I wondered why he was famous and what for,
He left me and my brothers to be poor,
For some other.

I can never forgive him,
but i'll let him live on in his fame,
for i have nothing to shame.
For i knew he would not claim,
me as a daughter or friend.

I moved my hands from the keys on the piano,
for i have moved on to another Piano Stand.


Details | Rhyme | |

Someone Stole My Shoes

I needed to go to school that Friday Afternoon, but Someone Stole My Shoes. He Rocked my 
shoes at school thinking he was cool but everyone looked at him like he was just A fool A 
warned out used tool. He was popular always spectacular but started to be treated regular. Had so many friends but then that soon came to an end, and his friends started to become the walls  and the floors and the sky way up high. For no one would listen to his cries at night, when he had turned of his light in the middle of the night when nothing would come right. He didn't know what was happening to his life? He walked to school lifting his head up with A smile making every moment worth while, but under that smile he was mad and sad everyone at home treated him bad, even his own Mum and Dad. Sat and ate lunch in the toilets with the door locked so the jocks wouldn't knock and know that he was like A rock or A stone sitting all alone, wishing that he could go home. He cried and watched the time go by just praying that this moment of life would fly up and disappear into the beautiful blue sky. He cried and cried, contemplating on suicide. Had no more friends and bled inside his heart, no one cared to hear his part. He looked down to the ground and saw the shoes that he stole, he cried in shame and said "Im too blame". He returned the shoes to my door and left A note and he wrote, "No one Knows you Wiko, We shouldn't judge someone until we've walked in their shoes, taken A look at their view, feel the feeling of getting abused and used and being bruised and rejected feeling like your worlds be injected and infected with A disease. And Then We have every right to Judge ones life".
 
Im so sorry I Stole Your Shoes.

- Wiko Te Maru


Details | I do not know? | |

What people might think

People may say that i am a spoiled little brat.
    Only becuase they see what they wan't to see.
   We all have been through things in our life time that we just want to forget, but we just can't  seem to forget.

My mom has put me through many things "but lets not say" in the past.  And i have learned from some of those things.  It made me a stronger person inside and outside. 

  I don't know my father at all. I wasn't even born when my mom was around him.
 But i have a loving family.

I would never change my past even if i had the chance.  Becuase if i did then i wouldn't be 
where i am now.

 People who are out there that are judging people based on how they act or look, are stupid. Wise up and grow up... 
Those people you judge have a GOOD reason for the way they look or act.
 And maybe they need some one there to talk to. To get things off their 
back.

                        Just like the saying. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"



*just something  that i had to say* :)comment if you have a thought (or fav poem if you like it)*
  
                                        


Details | I do not know? | |

I Pray You're in Heaven

I never really told you how much I love you In fact, I waited way too long Time was an enemy; you were up there in years And naturally, you had to move on When I was a child, I thought you a monster I often times wished you away When voices got loud and that darkness set in In that moment, I’d cry and I’d pray I prayed you to Hell; didn’t know better Hoped God was listening that day But, I had grown up and witnessed your change Which prompted me too late to say I pray you’re in Heaven Instead of in Hell God loves you as He loves me, too I was a young child So scared of you, then If you hear me, please know this as true Hell is the place Where I would remain If angels had you under wing I’d suffer the fires Being happy there, too To know that God let you in I’m sorry I waited and now with regrets I hope you can hear me this day May you be looking and down from the clouds From up there in Heaven, I pray Your sin was your struggle, the bottle had won And I, I just couldn’t see That despite all the yelling and fear that I had You were still the best mother to me I pray you’re in Heaven Instead of in Hell God loves you as He loves me, too I was a young child So scared of you, then If you hear me, please know I love you


Details | Rhyme | |

A Nursery Rhyme Of An Ugly Kind

Poor little girl named,
No..I won't say who,
did not know what to do.
She has a great burden
that she must carry
given to her 
by a trusted man,
who was close and married

He told her not to say
how he stopped her at play
to teach her his many lewd
and ugly carnal games.

So in fear
she would be to blame
and in fear
of her love ones hurting
that poor little girl 
promised never to say
and now must carry
that enormous burden.

Written by me in the eighties for a child abuse campaign. Revised 2013







Details | Rhyme | |

Children Grieve

This childhood sadness left me so forlorn.
A grief so real it mattered not my age.
Five years before this moment I was born.
And now my book of life had turned a page.

Never more to rock me in her arms.
I look around but I can't find her there.
She'd  calm me always with those mama charms.
Then gently she would brush my long brown hair.

Daddy came into our room and told us
that Mama went to live with God above.
And he was too distraught to even hold us.
Unsure was I of feeling any love.

I hugged my baby brother who was three.
And tried to make sense of my world again.
Though I was just a child I still could see.
The laughter I once knew had turned to pain.

I wish I could forget that terrible day.
After all these years it's still so real.
When childish things were swiftly packed away.
And I would learn how much it hurts to feel.


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

They said her time had come- Death by insurance

They said her time had come
No place to run
No place to hide
No time for fun
Just an empty vessel inside
Going through the motions
Numb.
Overwhelming emotions
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Evil coats
She wants to run
She desires to have fun
Not understanding why she can not play
It is now the month of May
Another denial letter
Another denial to get better
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Why such looks of sorrow?
She doesn’t understand
For there is always tomorrow
Evil coats
She takes a breath
Smelling all of the flowers
No place to hide
Now literally an empty vessel inside
They said her time had come

Her time had come
Her bald head 
Just four years old
She looks to comfort from her mom and dad
Why do they look so sad?
Evil coats drag them away 
She never got that chance to go out and play
Beep. Beep. Beeep.. Bleeeeep….. 
The room floods with long white coats
Now to heaven this little girl floats
Her time had come

They said her time had come
She was just a name
No money, undeserving of fame
Easy for her to be denied
If only the suits had looked her in the eyes
Who is to blame? 
Sent to the free clinic
Now dead at four
No insurance
Ooops! What a shame…
She could have been saved
Now two parents at her grave
Once a happy family, now destroyed
Because THEY said her time had come


Details | I do not know? | |

The White of Your Eyes

As I look at the whites of your eyes
I feel horror, fear rumbling inside me.

I grind my teeth together when I see you walking.

I fear you, I fear when you talk, shout, when you raise your hand.

I'v always feared you, but no more.
The fear I had of you I turned it into courage.

Now I no longer fear you.
I laugh when you raise your hand, when you shout.

Cuz the only thing I see you as...
Is a dead man walking.

And now your in the ground where you belong.


( If you may PLEASE comment of Mail me. Sorry i havn't been on in a long time... ALOT has happened this year to me)


Details | Free verse | |

I miss you

I miss you
Where did you go
So many years ago
Golden locks of love
Embracing the universe with your smile
Treading on the pavement
In your hand me downs
Blowing in the wind
With your stride
Your pride
With years by your side.

I miss you
Where have you been
Fearless endeavors
No worries of forever
Youth dripping down your porcelain face
Dancing in the moonlight
Laying under the stars
With no trace of abysmal scars.

I miss you
Dreamer of dreams
Poetic gleam
Melodies silent at the seams
Virtuous beauty with static on your mind
Building mysteries
One moment at a time.

I miss you
Age Seven.


By: Sabina Nicole


Contest: You're A Little Kid Again
Age 7


Details | Free verse | |

life now

the life that you have now 
is the one you will cry over when you are removed from it 
it happens that many lives are taken 
away from the now and when we lived 
the can’t grow fast enough is bicycle hard to catch up to 
crispy in leaves, and, bare under the bark


Details | Cinquain | |

Eyes On Me???

Eyes on me,
People watching,
In my direction?
Can't they look somewhere else?

Feeling uneasy,
Discomfart rises, too.
Afraid to mess up,
Afraid to fail.

Eyes are on me.
I feel pale.
I freeze.

I don't want
The attention.


Details | Free verse | |

The Day Our World Changed

I lay in bed last night thinking of 
 everything and nothing, as I often do.
  For some reason or maybe for no reason,
    I thought of playing on my slip-and-slide 
     when I was a little girl.
In Florida, summer lasts from April until October.
We were always looking for ways to cool off.
That memory led to another and another. 
I remembered our neighborhood.
It came to life everyday with the sound of children's laughter.
Now, I often sit by my window hearing the silence of children 
indoors playing video games. Safe behind locked doors.
Occasionally, the birds come out to play 
or I hear a bull frog croak.
Squirrels run across our fence line searching for places to hide their treasures.
(The neighbor leaves out peanuts for them. The squirrels appreciate the gesture.)   
When I was a little girl, I caught grasshoppers and lizards, but not frogs. 
I didn't like frogs. 
I thought of my succession of childhood bicycles.
I felt free as I zigzagged through the street
riding with the wind in my hair and the sun on my face.
I haven't felt that free in a long time.
In those days, I never felt lonely.
I could always find a friend to share a secret with 
right outside my door.  
Our parents never thought they would send us outside to play
and never see us again. 
The neighborhood was our playground.
Until the day a young boy disappeared from a shopping mall
only ten miles from my childhood home. 
He was kidnapped, killed and decapitated.
I was eleven years old. Our world changed.  
On my playground, shadows lurked and everyone was a stranger. 
I cried when I saw the picture of the little boy 
with the baseball cap and toothless grin. 
My brother was the same age as that little boy. He had nightmares for a while.
I was eleven years old. Our world changed.   


By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
for Debbie Guzzi's Fear contest
Second place finish


Details | Rhyme | |

Too much times past

Inspiration is just so hard to come by
But I though i 'd found something
That would last
But I guess to much
Times past 
and I never really
Knew my dad
But t ain't something 
Cry over
Cause in just a few years 
............. ( it 'll all be over )
I'm tired of your  lies
I guess to best we severed all ties
But this ain't bout you 
It's bout me 
Even though you
Ruined everything
The damages are to big to repair
So I guess its better to 
Act like you don't care
But 2 can play those games 
It's not like I ever needed you here 


Details | Lyric | |

Mask

I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
My whole world just spins round and round.
I put it behind me, but it comes back and bites me.
I'm fallin down,yet my past just haunts me.
Memories are burned in my head,
I dont want to remember this,... again.
I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.


Details | Free verse | |

Autumn Fog

Remember when it hovered there,
Skimming the brutal ground?
A translucent veil - Never blocking the sun, 
But softening its glow. 
It parted when we passed, 
Mist retreating to our little sides. 
We pretended we were spirits 
Lost in the places spirits go -
Wading through the heavens,
Worlds deep in tangled fantasy.
Until reality eroded our game, 
Melting the clouds away. 
But I was never sad - no, 
Never sad when it cleared,
For it revealed majestic Autumn -
Quietly perfect, much like you.
And every year I wade through fog,
Tears falling with the leaves,
And think of you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Was it just all a DREAM?

You feel like your lost in love?
  Me. Many times.

     like when you hear his/her's voice your heart just *skips*
Or when you see them walking towards you....you can't breath.
 When you had your first kiss.  But not their's. but they still thinks it's cute.
Ya'll talk 24/7. Non stop. 
When he/she just stare's into your eyes you feel butterflies EVERYWHERE through your body.

But... when they stop talking to you, you get worried, scared.
 Or when they don't act the same way that they did when ya'll first were together.
  You don't know if its over or not. but you get confused and you can't work up the courge to 
talk to him/her.

                       Was it just all a DREAM? you'll soon find out when you talk to him/her.


*comment if you please. just want to hear your thoughts (or fav poem)* :)

                                                                              -Angel4eva23


Details | Free verse | |

why daddy

dad you were my hero!
the one i wanted to be just like.
everything i did was to make you proud...
you walked out on us...
i know i wasnt a perfect child...
i just wanted to feel love from you

mom always told me that you would be there for me
you were until i disappointed you...
i thought parents were supposed love their children no matter what...
you didnt do that
 you always put me down 
told me i was such a shame to the family

now that i have grown up
i relieze life is better with out you in it...
and i no longer wanna be just like you
i could never walk out on my kid
you sicken me...
how could you give up the child that you gave your name to...
i understand you have other kids
but to just give up and not have anything to do with one of them
and to not let that kid know his siblings....
i could never do that 
no matter how much my kid disappointed me...

i found my hero...
he stepped up even tho he didnt have to...
he treated me like his own...
he was there when i needed a daddy and you werent there...
he was there at my worst....
and he is there at my best...
he will be my best man when i get married...
my kids will know him as grandpa...
they will never know you 
cause i cant risk you hurting my kids
the way you hurt me...

the thing that gets me the most is....
how you made it look so easy
did you even think about the lil boy
who carries your name and...
has your blood running in his veins

i dont think you did...
and if you did you are
a heartless piece of crap

even after all you have done to me...
physical, emotional, and mental abuse...
i forgive you...
not for you but for me so i can move on with me life


Details | Verse | |

Nesting

The horrid hollowness of the empty nest,
viewed without a redress, empty nest.

Years of doting, uplifting, caring
bring forth a man of kindness, empty nest.

The sun which rose with his laughter
sets with a mother’s loneliness, empty nest.

Let my heart sing with each memory
of cuddled child breathless, empty nest.

Remembering you, longing for your smile,
brings meaning home, fullness to empty nest.


Details | I do not know? | |

Gold Star

Sometimes I sit and ponder
what it may be like
to have parents, not always 
looking for a petty fight
the love you feel, always
being there for you
day o' night

I wake up fighting a
constant battle,
I feel like I am in a circus
having to jump through hoops
my parents hold
to earn their admiration and 
approval

Earning their gold star
for the day
I was a rebel since day one
not trying to conform
dancing to the beat of a 
different drummer

Wishing to be accepted 
for who I want to be
and how I seek to spend my hours
nothing I ever do, seems to be good
enough

They talk about "emotional deposits"
i.e. spending time with them
but they spend too much time
picking and proving
reacting wrong, saying ignorant assumptions
they push me away, each day
'further and further I go
as soon as I make enough money
I'm gone

They act as if my artistic mind 
couldn't make money
like my dreams are distant relatives
of which I will never meet
but I strive to prove them wrong

Its bad enough being
one person versus the world
but when the army you fight
is led by your family, your blood
it's twice as hard to get up
in the morning, when the suns
rays dance on my closed
eyelids 

I try my best to be the kind
of person I want to be
despite their efforts to kill off
my individualistic soul
I have given up trying
to belong to which I 
was born unto
I'm simply playing the game

Hoping to win, one day
the chance to be myself
as I feel emulates me,
and regardless
have a proud
Mommy and Daddy
I do pray, I shall be
 free to be 
Heather Rose Marie


Details | Couplet | |

Bright Hungry Belly

Return to the desk the teacher and classmate
The bell rings hurry you don't want to be late

Mother pushing for your learning bright hungry belly
Father is absent not a penny milking the skinny cow shelly 

Grandfather swells on self not caring who die or live
Deeming it sacrilege to dip in his pocket and a penny give

Grandmother tries to hold it all together knowing the need
Giving of her means caring the bright hungry belly to feed


Details | I do not know? | |

Light child

A child is born
all loving, forgiving, honest,
a special child of the light,
eyes wide open, awake,
the wolves are happy,
to feast at the table of its suffering.
Feed it just enough love to survive,
milk it of its light, little by little
suckling its love, its forgiveness,
a sweet delicacy for a vampiric world.

The child becomes a young adult...
control, conformity, submission,
overwhelming expectations,
no freedom, no love, no peace,
a barrage of others suffering,
cant get it off me, out of my head!
out of my heart, it hurts!
Its all too much! 
Why do they all hurt me?
Why are they not honest like me?
How can they be so mean to me?
What is wrong with me?
I just want a taste of love, 
to remind me why I am alive!!





Details | Limerick | |

A Child of Nine

When I was a child of nine
I thought I had all the time
Time to live and be happy
Time to fish with my pappy
But death had crossed the line


Details | Free verse | |

MY GIRL

MY GIRL

Lazy summer days
Pigtails, French braids
Long silky hair blowing
In the wind
Days forever gone
Tears well up in my eyes
And I long once again
To hold her close
To see her smile
To hear her laughter
Tinkle like rain

Lord, shower down from heaven
Encouraging words of
Together we will be
In that glorious place
A world without pain
Hearts completely healed
Memories of yesterday
Live on today
Hope of a tomorrow
Full of promise

mja


Details | I do not know? | |

I Am I Wish

I am a Robot
Who cannot feel
The shame that sweeps over me
I am a ghost
Who cannot be touched 
By your wandering hands
I wish I were a God
Who could send you to hell 
To be tormented for eternity
I wish i were invisible
So the stares would slide away
I wish i were superman 
To save others from my same fate
To save them from monsters
          LIKE YOU


Details | Lyric | |

No One

We met when we were tiny 
Our dads brought us together
We were different as night and day
You were shy 
I was bold and out going
Yet we were drawn to each other
We became more than best friends
We were like sisters
We grew up together
Each bringing out the best
 In one another
You were my voice of reason
You always kept me grounded
I brought you out of your shell
I was your shoulder to cry on
So why did you have to go
Don’t you know?
How much it hurt when you went
I tried so hard to keep you safe
From yourself that day
And you did it anyway
You took your life and left me 
With 

~No One~

It broke my heart standing there 
As you left me 
A police officer holding on to me 
As I kept trying to run to you
I never cried 
But I made a lot of noise 
Screaming at him to let me go
I’m sure I even put a sailor to shame 
I still miss you my dear friend
My sister 
I wish you were here 
To be a 
Shoulder to cry on
I am afraid to ask anyone else 
Meaning I have 

~No One~

Every once in while 
I feel your presence 
I feel like you are whispering to me
Keep going keep moving on
You even seemed to guide me 
To the person 
Who would remind me of
 You the most
She is kind 
Understanding and caring 
Not shy like you 
Yet she is unique too
She makes me feel safe
Like you always did
There are so many ways she 
Reminds me of you
Yet she is different too
Making her 
Who she is 
Best of all with her 
I feel like I have 

~Someone~


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | I do not know? | |

He's Our Joy

“He’s Our Joy”
He talks funny
But his disposition is sunny
Even though his tongue is too long
He’s not a loss
Just because his eyes are crossed
He’s never going to earn a degree
To his parents he’ll always cleave
He may have Downs
But he’s a joy to have around
The public might shame him
But they don’t see what makes us love him
He’s our precious joy
Our very own Mongoloid.


Details | Verse | |

I blame me

I blame me for all my mistakes
I blame me for all the rejection and heartache
I blame me for all the times I stayed silent 
and should have started and earthquake
with my words
I should have spoken up when I had the chance
now all those thoughts are wasted
unspoken, unheard

I blame me when my husband touches me 
and I feel the hands of a predators pounce
And I blame me when the pressure it on
because all I had to do was shout out and renounce His name
Lord, help me to get rid of the shame

I blame me for my loneliness
I blame me for my feelings of lust
I blame me when I look at myself and see absolute disgust
I blame me when I shut down - unsure of who to trust
At times not even sure if I really know how to love

I blame me when my kids are crying out sick
because when I brought them here
I knew that this world was unfit
Yet overpowered by my love for them 
I became more and more protective
So I blame myself in advance for their sadness
when they finally see that the world is not objective

I blame me for those nights I can't rest
Wondering if my consciousness has finally realized
that I have done my best
to stay positive and have good intentions
So I blame myself when I give in to temptations and my human inhibitions
and begin to feel ashamed of myself
I begin to feel like I don't have enough strength to love myself
because
good things don't happen for me
So I blame me for my thinking and feelings of worthlessness

It's a big world and my lonely soul has no more confidence
I have nothing
I have given up 
and so I blame me for my incompetence and my soul's rut


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Son

Dear Son,
   I haven't got to meet you,but from this picture I can see.
Just how wonderful you could be, and golly you look just like me.
I want to hold you, hug, and kiss you. I can't wait to see the day.
I may only have one picture, but I can't put the thing away!
I've been showing you to everyone, weather they want to look or not.
Even to strangers on the bus to school. I'm just so proud of what I got.
I pray to God your mother gives me a chance to be a good father to my boy.
Just to hold your picture, close to my face, sends me to a whole new world of joy.
I want to meet you! I love you! I just pray someday you'll see...
That I'm sorry things couldn't work out with your mother and I. You already mean the world 
to me.


Details | Quatrain | |

A Child's Day

School time is over
Nothing to cheer
No one at home
Till eve, left alone

Grounds full of houses
None to play around
Virtual world seems so real
Reality is like a Dream

Laptop sits on my Pa's lap
Mama shoos me around
Class work is a chore
Homework is a bore

I can't do what I like
I don't like what I do
I can't even sleep
How can I Dream?

Mornings’ can't even cry
Mouth thrust with paste
Milk does not taste
I am back to my drill

The slum boys out look better
They play in open pools
Like me, they look no fools
They don't even go to schools



                               Children’s Day is around.
               This Poem is  written to depict the Angst of a Child
                                in a Middle-Class family of Modern India


Details | Quatrain | |

Why Red Roses Flow

Every year she returns to the scene
This place in question where life has been mean
On muddy banks down by the waterline
Alone in her tomorrow's, solitary resigned

Having already lost her husband in his freedom fight
No mother should enter this fateful night
Her baby, her son, that a mother sees to grow
Wandered from her safety to that fast water flow

All innocent and fearless little steps slowly walk
In playful surrounds just barely in talk
Noises up ahead attract this mind to peek see
So curious they are when they get a chance to break free

Down an unclimbable bank he faces his lure
Once a slow flowing stream soon to take natures pure
Yesterdays storms allowed the heavens to cry
Whilst his mother kneels down and still asks herself why

In her hand she clasps a bunch of Roses so red
Tears fill her eyes knowing her tomorrow's lie dread
Once again she looks back, facing a mothers fear
A last glimpse of the flow, feeling her lost sons tears












http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-5.php



Details | I do not know? | |

Heart-Shaped Razorblade

i live no more, out of the veins, and onto the floor, 
blood drains from me, from this life, 
my life i shell live no more.

deepest cuts with a dull razorblade, 
the blissful sight of the redness in which i lay, 
the smell of the unpurity, and frightened souls, 
the darkness in which falls over me, 
my life i shell live no more.

consistant with the thoughts, the thoughts that ponder me, 
the sick little twisted games that you played, 
so sick in tired, life is un-inspired, 
lost hope in a world, life is no longer a desire, 
in this life i dont want to live no more.

the dignity in which i lost , in which you took from me , 
at my verginity it cost, ravaged you were like a caged animal let loose, 
into a society that excepted you, 
but as a scared little girl you took with out fear, 
the only thing that i had to hold dear, 
now i take this life of mine in which i let it free,
and grab the razor blad that will become the death of me, 
in this life i dont want to live no more.

inocence you took from me, the moment your hands were placed upon me, 
the look in your eyes when you grabbed me, and the pain you forced on me, 
with a grin on your face, and the laugh in your throat, 
i screamed out in pain, and i know i said NO, 
i fought to servive, i fought to be let free, 
but all you wanted was your way with me, 
in this life i dont want to live no more.

sweet blissfulness, and control, while i hold the razor that cuts my wrist, 
lets the demons free to roam at peace, a peace with out me, 
addolsent fear caught up with me, 
the games are over, now im free from the life that you took from me, 
my life that i live no more. 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Cough Drops And Applesauce

Cough Drops and applesauce 
Is what the doctor gave to me 
I don't mean to complain 
But in my side 
I feel a great big pain 
And doctors orders I'll oblige
 It is bad enough 
Every day is getting tough 
And now I am just out of luck 
Stuck with nothing but a cough 

It's been driving me insane 
Living here in all this pain 
It has made my life a very hard thing 
I really don't want to complain 
But I've been left out in the pouring rain 
And tomorrow is another day 
Same to come, same old way  


Details | Naat | |

The Way Towards Great Hope

Prayer gift of the Spirit
Makes us men and women of hope
Prayer keeps the world
Open to Eternal God

To pray alone is good
Even more beautiful
Fruitful
To pray together

Many ways to become acquainted to Him
There are experiences, groups
Encounters, Courses
To pray

Take part of parish liturgies
Be abundantly nourished by the word of Eternal God
With active participation
In the Sacraments


The baptized
Confirmed by the Eternal Holy Spirit
The Holy Eucharist, communion
So as to live as authentic friends and witnesses of Father Christ


4202013


Details | Free verse | |

Little Child

Little girl
tuck in tight
and don't worry
that man's not going to come to say goodnight
he's not coming 
because we sent him away
for what he did 
day after day.

Little boy
hold your teddy tightly
and sleep easy 
because we've taken him far from you
he won't be back 
to do that to you again
sleep safely now
it's finally ended.

Little child
sorry for not coming sooner
for being deaf, dumb and blind
for not seeing, hearing, fearing the signs
sorry for the years you lost
your innocence
and so much more.

Little girl, Little boy, Little child
no apology can ever be enough
will try our best 
to try harder next time
but at least you can sleep safe 
whilst the next child lies frightened tonight.


Details | Senryu | |

The Kids of Divorce

Mom and Dad divorce; the kids are damaged for life; but some are relieved.


Details | I do not know? | |

Good Morning, Apocalypse Now : A Tribute to a Vietnam Veteran

Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)

My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he 
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast 
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now. 

Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier. 

Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet. 
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid. 

He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil, 
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.

When he speaks a calm 
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and 
bravery and how 
he continually fights against 
the "Apocalypse Now".


Details | I do not know? | |

The Dumb Mother Award Gos Too

the dumbest mother, award goes too... dumb
me 
and why you may ask
because i am not home schooling right now
because my child my student 
fell softy asleep! during his math lessen today

i wanted to personally belittle him
and poke home with a learning stick      
and with a witchy voice say 
get up and open your eyes 
you can't get a job that way 

but i didn't do that, 
i just say are you sleepy 
and to my supreme surprise
he said in a most tired voice
Yes!

I just took him to the doctors 2 or 3 times 
and they found not one thing wrong 
the other is talking in his sleep too
and making sound so loud that 
he stop breathing and wake and talks
with words that could be made out to be anything
like words that are not of this the plant!

I want to wave my flag 
but there is not one to tell 
and what could keep my 
kids wanting to learn 
when there health is small and weak 
and there understanding that 
these who are to do no wrong 
just do nothing 
          
 aka:lyricvixen


Details | Narrative | |

All About Her

I dont know much about her
but I heard she wasnt that talkative
She didnt like being alive
She was numb to all the pain she had to go through

I heard she didnt like anything that was green
She ate roman noodles everynight for supper
She always wore flannels and bellbottoms
Sometimes i seen her wear dresses and fancy tops
But lately shes been wearing band shirts

She wears converse shoes and uses an army bag for school
I know that she dosent like to communicate through talking... only through her peoms
or sometimes even her songs.

I see her drawing and painting all the time
She draws famous people
She would like to be famous and not so unknown
When she tries to speak to anyone they always walk away and leave her alone

When she gets home she goes upstairs to play her bass guitar
She hates chocolate cake but loves chocolate
Her family left her behind because she cant forget her past

Sometimes when shes alone she contemplates the meaning behind her life
Her favorite color is gray because her life is black and white
Everything she says is false according to the world

She is not so innocent
I understand that she dreams about the perfect life
When she opens her eyes they are pitch black

She is someone that is fake
She acts nothing like she should
She is very grungy and unclean

She knows of no safety
and of no time
Her life is smashed into pieces by the giant sun

She will always be a ghost
She knows of no god
She crawls around in the world of death
She remains forgotten


Details | I do not know? | |

I Cried Today

I Cried Today

I am thirteen today
You would think I would be happy
Yet it is hard to even crack a smile
With everyone wishing me a Happy Birthday
To me it’s not that happy
As today strange voices carrying on inside me
They say I don’t deserve to live 
They say I should die
I am thirteen and 

I Cried Today

My sweet sixteen isn’t so sweet
I just want to hide
Go back to sleep 
Or simply disappear
What is a girl to do? 
When she feels so sad, lonely and depressed
I don’t even have anyone to turn to
I am sixteen and 

I Cried Today

Today I am nineteen 
It is my graduation day
And while I am smiling on the outside 
I feel like I am crumbling on the inside
Those voices don’t give 
Never a break 
No rest for the wicked they say
I am nineteen and 

Today I Cried

I am twenty-one 
No drinking for me 
I am in a hospital as my first sip was almost my last
Who knew I could be so allergic
I am twenty-one
In a hospital and 

I Cried Today

I am twenty-five 
I thought I was in love 
Until I walked in on my fiancé 
In bed with my best friend
My heart feels so cold
I am so alone 
As my world has just turned upside down 
I am twenty-five and 

I Cried Today

I am thirty
I am working hard
To get back my life 
Take control of my future 
And actually see the possibilities of a tomorrow
It is a lot of work 
With a hard road ahead
I am Thirty 

I Never Cried Today

I am thirty-four
In a few short months I will be thirty-five 
I am not alone 
I realize I never was
Surrounded by people I love
People who love me
Married to the love of my life
My dreams are coming true
I feel so happy 
I am almost thirty-five and 

I Smiled Today

By: Jean Shular


Details | Free verse | |

Scars of an Inner Child

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
 Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love


Details | Epigram | |

A STRANGE BEDFELLOW

Woman Is Insulted,
By Challenging His Manhood;
Getting His Buddies To Rape,
Was His Way Of Reinforcing.

He, Not a Man,
Force Himself On a Feminist.
Give a Valid Reason While Rape.
Feminist Tempt Masculine

By Their Proactive Dressing.
Insubordination To Human Nature.
Could It Be That
Masculine Is Weak?

By The Sight Of Bear Breast?
Victims Feel Ashamed And Unclean.
FEMA Seventeen Events Took Place.
Recurring In Nightmare First Man Exploded Inside Her.

It Was Her First Encounter.
Screaming She Was,
Thought Masculine Was Urinating On Her.
Bath I Must Have Said For Years.

Dirty She Felt And Wasn’t Enough Water To Cleanse Her Body.
Rapist Defilement And Innocence Body.
Fellow, Who Should Be Ashamed?
And Feel Unclean And Unfit For Civilized Society?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Girl Who Could Never Understand

There was a girl so free and young;
untouched by the darkness she was yet to become.
Not yet grown up but wishing she would.
She didn’t realise it would make her numb

There was a girl who dreamed of the future,
who wished of being smart, pretty and free.
She told herself it take years to understand,
When it actually only took three.

There was a girl who became obsessed
with things such as looks and grades.
Every time she ‘messed up’ her confidence slipped:
until someone told her about a blade

There was a girl who was once so innocent,
never before heard of self-harm,
but suddenly she knew how to cope!
All she had to do was cut her arm.

There was a girl who was dead inside-
Not understanding the darkness she had become.
She grew up too fast just like she wished:
Now she’s dead because she felt too numb.


Details | Rhyme | |

Children are precious

A volley of thrashes, the starved boy recalls,
his shrieks of terror, that didn’t pass the walls,
with no means for meals, tireless on his heels.
He should be freed, from the clutches of greed.

Each painful reminder, like a crawling spider,
with intentions malign, his touch too familiar,
but she couldn’t decline, with nothing to feed.
She should be freed, from men of that breed.

In the wake of their cries, pleading for a hand, 
as promises broken, they seem to understand,
let us sound this call, before worse does befall.
They should be freed, today let’s sow this  seed.

One bouquet of roses, each clinging to its stem,
to watch their smiling faces, each a precious gem,  
their faces sweet as honey, worth more than money,
They should be freed, to this truth may this lead.

Under strong powers of protection,
may they enjoy the resurrection,
to give them hope and determination,
lead them in the right direction.




Details | Free verse | |

Sorry i cant be perfect

Im trying to be perfect.
Im trying to make you happy. 
But no matter what i do.
Im just not perfect enough for 
you.

We argue EVERYDAY,
i cry EVERYDAY,
we cant go ONE day without an 
argument,
I wish we could.

You used to be my hero,
Did you know that?
Now your just a zero.
I cant talk to you.

Dont you understand? 
everytime i try,
to talk to you, we get in an 
arguemnt,
i cant take it another day,
i thought it was reationships 
pulling me apart.

But i was wrong, 
Its you,
Your making me loose hope,
Your makine me not feel, 
perfect.

Now, you dont even trust me,
That made me loose even more 
respect for you,
How could you say that?
I can be trusted!

Your my mother!
You should ALWAYS trust me!
But i guess im wrong,
im sorry ill never be perfect for 
you


Details | Free verse | |

The Friar

  The friar
                                  Revered innocence

You’ve got to try it
put it on your lap
a smiling little thing
still sheer and brittle
if possible blind or deaf,
almost genderless.
It just sits there
an unweaned lamb.

Take the little head
gentle it downwards
to the issue of our charity
Lead it, shovel if necessary.
Don’t be scared!

Today it’s allowed
your parents too far:
the force of every belief
too big to grasp.
Sooner or later it pushes
to where we assumed
our hands were in power.



Details | Free verse | |

A Crystal that Darkens

Winter is also celibate.  The conscience is moving,
A frozen light in a frozen eye.  It's raining much looser,
Down a ripped tree.  I couldn't have, 
I couldn't have, in this sin-sick tenderness.
              ___

My face is cracked in my fawnlike fingers;
And the nose betrays an inner child, who
Wouldn't listen to sparrows about being catched.
I just insisted fur was wings.
              ___

The feminine chill on the palm must be sorrow;
When I think of church bells, or mother- 
That I am haunting as raw love.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Real World

Ready for life
Step out of the shelter
Exposed to the dangers
Lurking under cover
Patiently waiting
Taking you down
One single swoop
And you're on the ground
Words hurt more than action
But to defend you must fight
Believe in yourself
Don't believe in the lies
"Look before you leap"
As the old saying goes
Everything has its consequences
Which I'm sure you know
Live, love, take care, and be careful
Live the life you've dreamed
Anything else could be dreadful


Details | Rhyme | |

The Conversationalist

Palms full of pamplemouse
bitter refrain
Catching a cold in the 
still pouring rain
Vitamin C on the tip
of my tongue
but I'm not as healthy
as when I was young
You lost me there somewhere
back on my old street
where we would tell stories
and nightly would meet
Please search out to find me
I'm suffering in pain
You'll find me still standing
in still pouring rain.


Details | Free verse | |

My Worst

Hey dad,
please talk to me.
There's something I need to say.
I've realized something.
Just hear me out and you'll know I'm right.
I'll never be good enough for you.
I'll never meet your expectations.
And we're growing apart so fast
that I can barely tell what you want anymore.
All the things that you've said
hurt worse than you'll ever know.
And now we can't go back.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
But I'm always at my worst when I'm with you.
My mood so dark that I can't see.
You'll never understand how hard it is
and how bad it hurts to be me near you.


Details | Lyric | |

My Dad Another 24th


Days go past us, as do winds of season,
But never the days and years
That get stuck in some ear and age,
That engulf us like mirages in a desert.

One such mirage in my life is of my Dad,
Always before me, waiting for me;
Yet I never reach in time to be near;
So near to me, yet so far away.

Never did he forsake me, in life,
Never for moment, never for a day;
Always beside me in my hours of need —
A dear friend, a true companion, a great dad.

He suggested the best books to me,
But never pushed them into my hands;
A mere suggestion about the inputs —
The next thing I know, I have my hands full.

He sang tunes soothing, melodious,
But never forced me to listen to any songs;
A mere suggestion about the notes —
My passion for music was born!

His acquaintances, colleagues, all friends;
Value of friends in life is priceless;
A friend is a cool morning breeze,
Surround life with friends, my list’s endless.

Never fear life’s rollercoaster ride;
No problem is without a solution:
Life is too short to fret and fear;
And so, I tried, yet fear engulfed me.

He came back into my life in many forms,
Beating death; guided me with many a face:
As friends, notes of music, verses from books —
He never left me and my life, my Dad.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Too Young To Be So Old

Too young to be so old,a child of five,
Yet a man so old, a childhood gone.
I hear his pain in his dreams at night.

I feel his fear in the tears upon his cheeks,
When he reaches for the love that isn,t there.
I feel the emptiness in his embrace.

He holds inside a pain so very deep,
A fear so strong no one can reach.
His eyes have seen,his body felt,

More in life that many adults.
How does he face the things that hide inside?
Where does he turn when the tears come down?

Left behind at a tender age to face the questions mommy made,
When she chose to leave him behind and not to hold him tight.
I have heard him say," If I had been better,

Maybe she would have loved me and stayed,"
He watched her beaten,watched her cry.
The choice she made was to pass him by.

He bottles the pain so deep inside,
Many a night I held him tight,
When the darkness came and took his light.

One day he will see just how much it hurts,
When Poppa and I can't fix what hurts inside.
As I look back and recall the tears that came,

When to us the question came," Do we have to go back to her?
There was nothing we could do ,but take them home
We must hold the tears and pain inside.

He was much too young to be so old.


Details | Rhyme | |

ANGELS DON'T COMPLAIN


                          

Anna* with the sandy feet walks through shorn, rustling marram*,
Her lips are dewed* as she sing-songs, calling for merfolk to debed*,
Those caught pigtails just tag along held by ribbons redder* than red,
And pirate eyes keep thoughts captive behind bangs that badly need a trim.

Young girls can teach old shells to shine and the wispy clouds to behave,
Pink buckets can level* dunes and on grey driftwood a sad wish surely floats.
She sees* all:  locals huddled on the boardwalk, the harbor and its denned* boats, 
Gulls begging crumbs from too few fishermen and plovers chasing waves.

The sea is calm today, but last week that sudden storm had made it wild,
Shingles still lie about, some roofs are unwrapped gifts someone needs to repaper*,
Church was different that Sunday, weeping women held thin, dripping tapers,
Grandma rocked in the pew, softly groaning, “Oh, my son! My only child!” 

Noon* was so many hours ago and yet Anna on the shore remains,
The black wreath on her front door scares her, and now mother only sleeps,
Swallows nested in the birdhouse he built, but draped windows mute their peeps*,
“Pip-Pip*,” she remembers father said, “Come, smile, my girl. Angels don’t complain.”



By Cyndi MacMillan, April 12, 2012



*Anna
*marram- a type of sea-grass
*debed
*redder 
*level
*sees
*denned
*repapered
*noon
*peep
*pip-pip - an old-fashioned British word for good-bye


Details | Free verse | |

School days

The busy hours at nine, running at the last minute. Those never ending classes now i miss them in every minute.. Give me back my school days is the only thing to say. Let me go to school for once, that's the only prayer i pray. The heap of lunch boxes and the rush for the recess break, give me back my school days is the only wish to make. Last night study and crying for buddy, i really miss them all teachers question and empty faces makes me laugh when i recall getting a star or a zero makes no difference right now, i wanna have my school days back please give it to me somehow...


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mask

I once knew a little girl,
She was innocent and pure,
But pains of many bites and burns,
Have changed that girl for sure,

She always used to cry at night,
Her pillow getting wetter,
“It’s alright I’m sure”, she’d always say,
“Things are bound to get better”,

But as she grew she learnt,
That this was not the case,
So she changed and built a mask,
That would cover her true face,

This mask did help protect her,
From all emotional bruising,
But never did she suspect,
All the things that she was losing,

One day a few years later,
She took off that strong mask,
But no longer knew the girl underneath,
“Who is this girl?” she’d ask,

She’d cried that night only wishing,
She could go back to that day,
When she’d made that mask of cold heart,
And throw it far away,

But by then it was too late,
The damage had been done,
She’d lost that girl from underneath,
The one that was bright and fun,

So she decided to do the next best thing,
Get back what she had lost,
And though troubled by the future,
It was worth all that it cost,

Though she’d tried so hard,
Can I say they are the same?
The new girl and the first one,
No I think not, what a shame,

Though I do say she is better off,
Then those who still wear that mask,
But how should I know such a thing,
You probably do ask,

For I was once that little girl,
The one that made the choice,
To lose the mask; begin again,
And regain her old voice,

The moral of this story is, 
That there is no worse pain,
Then losing yourself and realising,
That you have to start again,

So just know one thing for sure,
And take it all from me,
That when you’re at your purest,
Then you should just leave it be...


Details | Lyric | |

Junkie

you know its wrong 
but you do it to overpower the pain
not strong enough to stay away from it
you would die without it
in its presence your heart knows no shame
even if you try to win the fight
your heart will overrule your mind
Theres nothing you can do
its chained to you
you cant get free
look what this drug did to you


Details | I do not know? | |

Daddy

Into the light Daddy...
Please give me your trust.
Hold my hand tightly Daddy...
I wont let you shower with dust.

I miss you so much Daddy...
How I wish you're walking me down the aisle,
Your little girl's a Mom now Daddy..
A boy named after you, I wish you could see his first smile.

Walk this path with me Daddy...
I promise you the road is much better.
And don't worry about me Daddy...
You taught me a lot, thank you for being the best father.

I know you are safe now Daddy...
But it still hurts now that you are gone.
I still cry a lot and wishing for your hugs Daddy...
I'm sorry for all the pain, 
I will always love you, My Daddy. 



Details | Narrative | |

too drunk, not drunk

When your with people you think you can trust

and you get a bit to drunk

and you thought you could trust him

after all your mom loved him

 

and you go to bed just afer 2

and mom went to bed just after 1

and he came in room just after 4

so you ask him for a pill...

He gets you the pill and you take it for your head

still drunk

     still drunk

and then you lay back down

still drunk

and then his hand snakes out

still drunk

and then his lips meet yours

still drunk

smell the beer

still drunk

and his hand slides under your gown

still drunk

and you just cant say no

too drunk

    too drunk

and his touches, soft but rough

not drunk

    not drunk

and he plays with your untuoched parts

not drunk

    not drunk

and you try to turn but you cant

not drunk

    not drunk

and you finnaly win and turn

not drunk

    not drunk

and he silently walks away

not drunk

    not drunk

and whispers to the dark room

are you drunk

    are you drunk

        are you drunk 

and you wish you could say that you were

so drunk

     so drunk

so you can turn, fall asleep, and forget

not drunk

    not drunk

and you know in deep and dark thoughts...

your not drunk

      your not drunk

             your not drunk


Details | Free verse | |

Are you my daddy

''Are you my daddy'' the little child cried.

''No I'm your uncle'' the grown up replied,

''Are you going to stay, or go away  like my uncles always do?''

'' I love your mummy I'll stay I promise you I'll do''.

'' Everyone loves my mummy,'' the child says with a sigh.

''Will you take me to MacDonald's and buy me a toy and take me for a ride?''

''Yes I promise, but I maybe away for a while''.


''Are you my Daddy'' the little child cried,

''No I'm your uncle'', the grown up replied,

''Are you going away like all my uncles do?''.............................................


Peter Dome. copyright.2012.


Details | Free verse | |

The Rat Race

As a child, I had much to do
Crushed it, when I tried to grew
Participant of the Rat Race, I am
Suddenly everything was scattered away

Now when I try to think of you
And calculate what went wrong
Where was my mind that day?
Why everything went so wrong?

After endless struggle, when I dream
Those equations , cry and scream
My demand curve went wrong way
And that was the end of everything 

The sweet little Tom & Jerry
still playing with no worries
Then my mind cries and says
those days are so far away

Every-time when I think of it
I think as I'm a liar and cheat
After this endless bargaining 
Life ends here.... Screaming


Details | Rhyme | |

CRACKED


I try not to remember
that night we shattered,
Teddy was dismembered
and trust scattered,
One stormy September
Innocence was battered.

Mother became unhinged,
Sometimes darkness just falls,
She went on a frenzied binge,
Smashed pictures on a wall,
My baby sister cringed,
then over shards we crawled.


	There are passages in this book
	Just too hard to read,
	When I take a closer look
	I see some pages bleed. 


Begged a weeping girl,
Please, mommy, just leave one,
Sucking a thumb, tugging a curl,
Souvenirs of days in the sun...
destroyed... then the mallet hurled
and tiny feet had to run.

In the thick haze of broken glass,
I gathered love close to me,
Under blankets, I held a small class,
Taught our fear, told it stories
as a monster walked fast
the angry halls of insanity. 

	There are passages in this book
	Just too hard to read,
	When I take a closer look
	I see some pages bleed. 

I left destruction, found abuse,
Rage wears a thin disguise,
Something was lost, somebody used,
We learn to shield our telling eyes,
Promises were given, each a ruse, 
Beware a man with bedroom lies.

One day hands found my neck,
When I said that I would leave,
You’re mine to keep, mine to break,
Maybe, baby, I might grieve.
I knew then I’d had all I could take,
Squeeze, I said, ‘cause nobody cracks me.

Left with nothing but my name,
Life deals blows; I’ve had my share,
I write my words without blame
but these bags are heavy and thread bare,
I still pick up pieces, a losing game,
Understand me, if you dare but...

	There are passages in this book
	Just too hard to read,
	When I take a closer look
	I see some pages bleed.

	Pages bleed
	They bleed
	I bleed.

	Take a closer look.




*Dedicated to Debbie Guzzi, for being a friend, revealing her own painful memory and enabling me to release this. Every word is true.

*Song written for Melissa Etheridge


Details | Rhyme | |

LIFE

Two hearts beat, now beating faster; beating until they're one 
Two souls breathe, now breathing deeper; breathing until they're done 
Two lovers see forever, and forever is where they run 
One child comes home tomorrow for life has just begun 

Even when the rainbow's glowing, the skies can seem so gray 
Even when the wind's not blowing, the tides can turn your way 
And when the water's raging, beneath skies that seem so blue 
It's just your body aging, and it has nothing to do with you 

So now when our God comes calling, I'll hold your hand and stroke your hair 
Yes, as snowflakes start falling, I will look for you everywhere 
And Mother, as you start flying, remember as you rise above 
Marlene, you are not dying, but finding everlasting love 

One child goes home tomorrow to embrace the Father and the Son 
One child who knows no sorrow, for life has just begun


Details | Imagism | |

Heaven Doesn't Have A Phone Line

I want to hear your voice
But my savior is the dial tone.
I pick it up this time hopeful 
But still no one on the phone.
I really need to talk to you.
I really wish you'd call.
I stand on this cliff not wanting to jump 
But hoping to fall.
I just don't understand.
I know God can see.
I find myself praying every night ,
"Lord, please just let him call me" 
My mom still insists I need to start moving on .
It breaks her heart to tell me the truth,
"You need to accept that he's gone".
I just can't though,
I never got to say good bye.
I just need to get a hold of heaven,
I have to at least try.
I have to figure it out 
and then I'll be just fine. 
"Lord please just listen to me....
Heaven desperately needs a phone line."


Details | Lyric | |

What If Tomorrow Never Comes

I recall now the days when forever seemed but a short time The visits to the hospital, brought sad images to your mind She lay on a bed, cords all around her, no hair upon her head The cancer drove us crazy with worry tears and fright She was only a baby, I didn't get the chance to say goodbye Farewell until we meet again where you'll be waiting... waiting for tomorrow to come again. What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. And now I lie here thinking it through, memories flash through my head, memories of you Moments of a bittersweet time Reminiscing the days when you were mine The days when you were alive The tears come back to my eyes I feel the need to cry but nothing slides out I need to scream and shout, My emotions pour out as one, silently So what if tomorrow never comes? Reality in death is so hard to accept, I need my tomorrow to come... What if it never does? What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. Will tomorrow ever come? I just want to be awake when the moon becomes the sun I'm waiting here for you, in the darkness of the night. I wait still for you, forever the images will haunt my mind Tomorrow will come I'll soon be alright Tomorrow will come... Tomorrow has come... I can now see the sun.


Details | Narrative | |

My Father Gone These Forty Years

My father gone these forty years,
my mother gone twenty, I remember...
the acrid smell of tobacco
on my mother’s rough fingers,
as she sat, silently,
in a predawn Texas coastal town,
my head in her lap, the short-wave
radio crackling with static.
She strained to hear the chatter of
shrimpers in the Gulf of Mexico,
yelling out to each other
in Cajun patois French,
Mexican Spanish, accented English;
she stroked my nine-year-old hair,
her middle-aged body aching,
hungry, worried, sleepless,
far from her roots, stranded
in this strange, dry,
totally foreign place.
Her imaginings of my father’s
struggles with the sea
and its weathers filled her mind,
and she knew, all the while, that
even if he were safe, earning money,
he (and she) would fail
and we would still suffer
the poverty of the hopeless
and desperate doomed
whose minor, occasional comforts
were only, onshore, the cold beers
and noisy camaraderie of the others
like him, like her,
like us.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Where were You

Where were you
When i started to grow
Where were you
When my puberty started to show

Where were you
When my mind was confused
Where were you
When i was being misused

Where were you 
To teach me what i should know
Where were you
When i needed strength to grow

Mother 
Where were you


Details | Narrative | |

The Sugar Cube House

Love is a season.
And holidays mark the seasons, and years like signs in the road,
reflecting the bumps in our journey, but showing us a way back home.

Sixteen, in pajamas, watching the rain pelt down,
it was long past midnight, Christmas eve.
Twinkling lights on one house across the road, stared back at me.
It was if they were trying to fill our dark house with color.
The block was filled with a hundred lighted windows.
But the blackness of our own, somehow, seemed more appropriate.  

There was no Christmas tree in our house that year.
I suppose Dad felt it was too soon, or perhaps just the effort to get through each day
had taken all the strength he had.
We had stayed up and watched a Christmas program together.
Perry Como, I think it was, for I think I remember he sang "Ava Maria", and Dad got teary eyed.
My brother had come home from the Air Force earlier that week,
trying to help bring us a bit of cheer,....at least, for awhile,
but he had been called back to duty, and I missed him terribly.

The house was silent after Dad had gone to bed.
I wasn't sleepy,....and it was lonely looking out at the cold night
It seemed the whole world was sleeping, waiting for Christmas.
                                 
As I finally headed for bed, I noticed a light had been left on in the front coat closet.
I opened the door, and looking up, to pull the chain, I noticed the box.
The shoe box that had kept the sugar cube house, safe, dry, and out of harm's way.

A sugar cube house that Mom and I had made together when I was 8 years old. 
Little sugar cubes stacked into walls, and a roof, glued together with red frosting.
We had copied one out of her Good Housekeeping magazine that year,
and had surrounded it with little trees, and a oval mirror pond, and items we had found at the 5 and 10 cent store.  She had carefully packed it all away last year.
After her last Christmas.

Late into the night, I sat in the dimness of the house, laying out the sugary scene on the fireplace mantel....just as Mom would have done.

When the freckled morning moved into day...I woke on the sofa...Dad sitting next to me.  He had covered me with a warm blanket, and had fallen asleep beside me.

After breakfast....he disappeared outside, and soon came in carrying a sorry looking branch from our old evergreen tree. 

We decorated that bedraggled branch...it wasn't the most beautiful tree we had ever had, but it brought Christmas back to my family.
_______________________________________________________________

For Deb's Contest: A Christmas Tale
(Inspired by "The Match Girl" By H.C. Anderson


Details | I do not know? | |

Goodbye

I pray one day for happiness.
I pray one day for peace.
I pray one day I'm left alone
and this pain will finally cease.

Don't hate me because I'm different.
Don't hate me for having love.
Don't hate the fact that I know GOD
is guiding me from above.

I wish you knew my pleasures.
I wish you knew my pain.
I wish you knew how hard I try 
to let the love remain.

Maybe we will never
see things eye to eye.
But hate will only cause more pain.
So let's just say GOODBYE.


Details | Lyric | |

Tears of a Runaway

Tears of a Runaway

Blinded by these tears;
Choking on my useless words;
Heart racing like a horse;
Lungs gasping for air.

I long for that happiness
That I once felt.
Instead, painful memories
Are coming back to hurt me.

Running away
Sounded like a good solution,
Even though I may trip and fall.
I'll just keep on running, 'til I can't run at all.

I trip and completely fall down,
But I don't get up this time.
I’m just lying on the ground, now,
Crying ‘til I can’t cry anymore…tears.

Blinded by these tears;
Choking on my useless words;
Heart racing like a horse;
Lungs gasping for air.

I don’t know what to do now.
I’m just paralyzed on the ground;
Except that I’m also shaking
From all the crying that I’m doing.

Running away
Wish I could say
That I would stay.
But, God, just please help me?

The coldness is wrapping around me
Like it’s a frozen blanket.
Trapped in this cold, cold world
And in my mind, memories swirled.

Blinded by these tears;
Choking on my useless words;
Heart racing like a horse;
Lungs gasping for air.
As I lie here,
I wonder
What it would be like
If my life was happier.

I can’t really say for sure
What would be going on.
But if my life was happier,
I wouldn’t be singing this song.

I once felt that warmth and comfort,
But now it’s gone.
And it’s been so long
That everything in my life now is wrong.

I’m blinded by these tears;
Still choking on my useless words;
My heart still racing like a horse;
My lungs still gasping for air.

These are the tears of a...runaway


Details | Rhyme | |

Blood and Tears

words can hurt
words can heal
no words can speak the pain you feel
just a child
I watched you die
forever haunted by your  cry
no mercy
no justice
for this life so bleak
no mercy 
no justice
for you could not speak
I watched the life drain out of you
just a child
what could I do?
I watched you bleed
I saw the tears
but humans think naught of your fears
my arms around you
I held you tight
the pain will stop
it will be allright
they pulled you from your mama on that sunny day
laughing at your screams
just as I came ot to play
the knife was sharp
but he did not cut deep
they left you to bleed
and us both to weep
a tear streamed down your frightened face
this memory I cannot erase
for a moment I wished I could take your place
I kept my arms around you
until your heart stopped beating
later I felt sick as I watched the monsters eating


Details | I do not know? | |

found by the lost

The world of ice,
in perfect white,
tainted blood,
as black as night,
the love of lost,
on end of chain,
the shoeless freak,
out in the rain,
the homeless child,
lost in fright,
sleeps by day,
runs by night,
always forward,
never back,
the heartless Psycho,
the bodies stack,
the dark and red,
on silver blade,
you now lay in,
the bed you made.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pockets of Misery

I stuff my pockets with misery and contempt,
overloading their contents, pleasure exempt.
I fill the dark spaces with sadness and dread,
overexerting the capacity, till all hope is dead.

I shove bits of hatred, and pieces of despair,
into tightly bound pockets, I callously wear.
I force fists of fury, into perfect folds of misery,
massive bulging indignation, that only I can see.

I line its gruesome insides, with terror and pain,
thrusting handfuls of vanity with bouts of shame.
I lunge towards its innards, like a thrusting rocket;
these dark grisly holes, inside miserable pockets.


Details | Ballad | |

In Your Eyes

 I looked into your eyes . Saw your pain .
It was no surprise . I knew what you’d been through…

I saw you cut, Blood on the floor .
Life passing you by, Your now a shell of you.

He took it away . Bit at a time . Even came back for more…
That man of no use, Who stole your youth .

How did it happen, When did it begin .
Lost in a world, Of times and dates…
Where, when and why me you asked ?

Nobody knew, Not even you, Too young to remember.
What he took , Was it real . The monsters hurt .
You try so hard, Too young to understand.

They sent you away, They never knew…
You begged to stay, They didn’t listen.
Nobody believed, What you tried to say .

To be hurt by so many, Didn’t make sense .
Your youth was gone, He stole it from you .
You done nothing wrong .

He took your youth . Don’t let him win.
 He took away your child hood . Left you in fear…

Don’t give him your adulthood too.
Open your eyes and see 


Details | Free verse | |

The soldier, the war, and I

The soldier, the war, and I


Today I am home and thinking to my self..
What would I be doing if I had a soldier coming home to me and my family?
What would I be doing if I was the soldier looking to going home to my family?
And then, I look back at all the years passed since this last war..

Many children have grown to become men, Others have grown to become soldiers
Where would I be if I had gone to the war and fought for my country?
Where would I be if I had gone and came back safely?
Where would I be if I had not gone at all because I was not qualified to go?
Would I be with my family or in a hospital injured?
Would I be standing proud, and laughing with my friends and family?
Or would I be dead, as I never got to come back?

Today I am home and thinking to myself..
Thinking of all of those brave soldiers, children still
Who are out there, suffering.. And some ill

Today I am home and thinking to myself..
How many woman are crying because of their gone loved ones
How many men are crying for their loved and missed ones
How many children are fatherless or motherless, or both!

And at the end I stop. I think no more..
I am grateful for the things I have, 
I am grateful for the people who surround me...
And I am sure grateful to never have gone to a war; yet, 
I sure appreciate the thoughts, courage, life, and suffering
Of all of those who have been touched by it.


Details | Rhyme | |

"A Child's Cry"

The fight goes on an endless roar
It tears me apart.  Digs deep to the core

In the fight these people don't see 
the saddening harm they are doing to me

I love them, they seem not to care
Where is the love?  It is not there

I feel so bare

I wish they would stop their trivial fights
that are converted to a mess and taken to flight

I feel so empty.  It seems so cold
I must be brave and keep a strong hold

For now I live in the love not seen
hoping soon to understand what it all means

I know some day there will be a solution
but scars grow deep and my soul's of polution

How long must I face a problem not mine?
I'm hoping for a day when love is devine


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy's Little Girl

Daddy's Little Girl

Yelling at a little girl
Her face should be smiles instead of tears
Her daddy screams at her without mercy
Kicks and hits follow
Pain and bruises
Broken bones and a broken spirit
Her love remains unbroken
She tries to be daddy's little sweetheart
Even as her skin hurts
Such a sweet little girl
Hope has been torn from her heart
Her eyes stare into space
Unseeing and uncaring
She waits for days, weeks and years
Just to hear her daddy;s voice
Not yelling as he usually does
She just wants to hear an I love you
But in her soul she knows it will never come
Just more pain and hurt
Such is the life of daddy's little girl


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Emotional Hole

I did not find myself to be so important
So I ask my friends do I seem distant?
When I ask the question I had received an answer, Yes
So I think that made it clear that I had been not the best
I am a friend of a friend that talks so many things
That friend talks to much it is insane and insanity it brings
I do care, about my friends they are all good people
They tend to stand on their high steeple 
Today I find myself not so aware
Disbanding my fear of regret and care
Walking many different paths I see that I have found holes
It is the path that people choose to use to fuel their rage with coals
Coals are partially burnt wood or fossils a piece of fuel
It is the source of burden and fire a rage of emotions that stands cruel
It can be warm and caring, but it also can be baring
I just start to feel so low, below the ground I keep on staring
I reach for my friends so many times I feel so ignorant at times
Just once I feel I should not rely on them when feeling I can not find 
I dig my hole deeper and I can not climb out
For some reason I am just full of doubt
I care about so many things and what I have is confusion
One person should be all I should think about to get out of that illusion
My battle in my heart and mind is not at all so pleasant
I feel so alone in an island that is shaped like a crescent
My emotions is like coinciding with a diameter of the semicircle
Not a full emotion that is complete like a circle
My feelings is circular full of incomplete thoughts, so much deeper
I feel it will wake up my evil half a evil soul that is a sleeper
What question should I ask myself? to believe that I am not so alone
As I feel like a person who is deteriorating to the bone
I ask my friends the same question once again
I figure I should do it, to know what kind of feelings I should end
So many thoughts that come out of my feeling
I feel like my friends take, an emotional trauma of stealing
They ask me questions and I answer theirs
But when I need mine answered I feel burning inside like a flare
Are they even friends when they do not take me serious in anyway
Just put me in my hole cause I feel nothing in their will be getting in my way
It's just so simple to answer someones problem
I answer friends with beauty of a rose, but when they answer mine I get the stem
I know the stem is very important in life, with out it how can a rose be a rose
With a hole to put the root and stem in how can it grow
The words we speak I guess is like all natural things we reap and sow


Details | Monorhyme | |

My Friend Is My Love...

I couldn’t read, I couldn’t write…
That my world would no more ever be bright.
With the morning sun I would rise,
The day ahead full with surprise.
He took me here, he took me there,
We planned the day for everywhere.
We sat together all alone,
Speaking of things, which were atone.

Our minds would argue, but hearts unite,
We kept opposing, although right.
He bought me chocolates I never shared,
I would joke on him, but he never cared.
He brought me flowers from the bushes around,
A red one hidden as yellows surround.
I always pretended I would never see
But in my heart I would just let it be.

Back in my room when it was 7 again,
I would sit quiet, and feel the pain.
As I realized that another day would end,
He would stay a day longer I would pretend.
With sleepless nights my eyes would swell,
Moistened with bitter tears and love’s spell.
The morning would come and go again,
But the realization would still remain.

And one sudden  day it was the day,
He kept staring at me and couldn’t say.
I made him promise he would never let know,
When it was time for him to leave and go.
But the look in his eyes I knew there was no next day,
I couldn’t make him stop, not in any way.
I ran away, far away from where he was,
Picturing him looking at me, as that was the last.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Daughter

 your easy bake oven
 why didn't i bake with you?
 can't go back and do
 the things we didn't do
 regret
 you wanted to play that day
 and selfish me
 what did i say
 mommy's tired
 we'll do it another day
 regret
 i took you to the park
 i took you to the zoo
 but so many other things we didn't do
 regret
 mommy will you play wis me
 oh you were so cute
 even when you shared
 your spitty little flute
 the time went by much too fast
 seems the good times never last
 regret
 make a tebby bear
 when i began to draw
 it seemed that a circle is all you ever saw
 make a ceeco you would say
 wish i could go back for one more day
 regret
 but in my book of memories
 i really must admit
 of all the funny things you said
 this one is your greatest hit...
 look mommy, i can do magikit!
 wish i could have just one more day
 to play the games we didn't play
 to say the things i didn't say
 regret


Details | Free verse | |

The Lowly Paths

Walking down the lowly paths
A man in a fur coat locks eyes with a child
In the head of the child she pictures him dining
Not walking down the lowly paths of her abode
The orphan with glistening eyes bows her head low
The man in the fur coat looks away and continues
He pities her…embarrassed…


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | Lyric | |

Fairytale World Gone Wrong

She walks, she talks
Pretends everything is fine
So young, so sweet
Yet everyone she'll try to please
will turn their backs on her with ease

She wants to belong
She'll try to hold on
to her fairytale world gone wrong
She's losing her grip
Reality slips
her fairytale world gone wrong

She wants you to stay
She'll push you away
Still can't decide
Too much pain inside
She runs, she hides
as her world divides
Can't keep it together
Can't pretend forever

She wants to belong
She'll try to hold on
to her fairytale world gone wrong
She's losing her grip
Reality slips
her fairytale world gone wrong


Details | Rhyme | |

TRYING TO SURVIVE ON FEEBLE HOPE

I've been detached from anyone, and specially life,
merely trying to survive on feeble hope,
dangling from this rough and steep rock; 
I look above and another view transforms my strife. 


I tried to be that invincible hero, helping others
ignoring myself and, most times, my indispensable needs;
putting others first, if they were part of my family... 
as the truthful words of the Gospels brought perfect clarity.


On my last days, I'm trying to survive on feeble hope,
wishing that they wouldn't forget me when silence surrounds me,
when every delightful memory will make my throat chocke;
comfort me and assure me that there'll be a serene place awaiting me.


At times, I was overtaken by anger, shouting to bring peace
to an incident of jealousy, or an act of mischievousness;
forgive me for my behavior, and you may have called me a square,
an almost senile old man...being ridiculed for his bad manner.  


Now, your age is void of knowledge, of the wisdom I still seek,
perhaps your intentions are naive and harmless;
I understand how bizarre it can be when youth is at its highest peak:
disregarding wise words that can correct your whims.


In dire and discontent, I'm trying to survive on feeble hope,
and my mission is almost complete:  from a prophesied birth...
to an unannounced death, unless everyone awakens and realizes my hurt;
but if my conscience is righteous and pure, wouldn't Heaven pull up my rope?



Details | Free verse | |

His children

We watch from across the room
Their joyful faces shining like stars
Their smiles broader than any ocean
Given to us as a gift.

We watch from across the room
We see love in their hearts
We see peace in their minds
Given to us to raise.

We watch from across the room
We teach them about life
We teach them from Your Word
Given to us by You.

We watch from across the room
We see them all grown-up
You come and take them
They are Your children

We watch from across the room
They are gone, the pain immense
But You are still there
Come to help us through.


Details | I do not know? | |

Unwanted

I feel like feces in a toilet
unwanted and flushed away
like a rotten egg; scorned
cracked and then thrown away
maybe even like spoiled milk
one taste and i make you sick;
then i'm thrown away
i'm like a bugger in your nose
you just got to get rid of me
like pigeon poop
you wouldn't want me to touch you
it's funny
because to me, you're
like a million bucks
i'll want you all the days of my life
but to you;
i'm just a tissue
that you use
and then,
throw
away


Details | I do not know? | |

Mindless

Drain my brain of everything
And leave me with nothing
My heartache
My pain 
My sorrow
My depression
My grief
But mostly take my bad memories
No bad thoughts matter to me
Block out my haunted past
Of the abuser of my mind
I only ask you that you leave the memoires of good friends
Leave my family
My love
My soul 
My kindness
My music
My ability to laugh
And my only natural talents
Music and what ever art that I can be taught...


Details | Epic | |

Rawe of the Raven Hair

The river lay across the path
Like a never ending tale
Murmured secrets passing by
Through that dim and moonlit dale

And I stood by upon the path
Water seemed to say to me
That "Only Innocent may pass
All were once those truly free"

It seemed I saw a child there
In the river, on the shore
A beautious thing with golden hair
Eyes black as the river's core

She walked into the river then
As she touched the water's side
She did not sink, but Innocent
Walked atop the river wide

"River daughter" named I her
In that realm of unknown sounds
Bowed she then, and touched her hair
Into the river's damping crowns

As she melted to the depths
I knew to be the river base
I was distracted from her sight
By moonlight on the farther face

Across the river did I see
Silver-black was shimmering
And in the moonlight there I saw
Hair as black as raven-wing

The river of the night lay there
Know that I was lost for words
"I, Rawe of the Raven Hair"
Spoke the river, and I heard

Rawe of the Raven Hair
Gods are wont to know thee
None is there so beautious fair
I shall always love thee

The deep enchantress of the night
So the legends often say
The faerie of the darker light
Not seen ever 'neath the day

The legends tell she is the river
When the moon is on the rise
The stories say she is the moonlight
When the river all still lies

Not a sound did break that silence
Yet the river spoke to me
"Be ye innocent and pass"
Into this moonlit misery

Entranced by nothing but the night
Stepped I to the river then
And, Innocent, I walked above
Water never meant for men

The River-Child I'd seen before
Brought me to my innocence
And not a thought within me lay
But the thought of infant bliss

So cross did I, and as I did
Water still beneath my lay
The moonlight shone upon the bank
Rawe on the bank did stay

Perplexed, she looked, and spoke she then
"How crossed thee o'er the river's shore?
Innocence unmeant for men
Resides within thee: in thy core."

"How canst thou cross the river Styx
Unknown to Charon, undead and live?"
Said I to her "Ah, I am dead:
Dead to reality's soft lies"

"Rawe of the Raven Hair
Beauty not in life, in Death
None is there so beautious fair
Truth lies in thy breath"

"Rawe of the Raven Hair
Life is wont to know thee
All death's freedom, no life's care
Won't you come with me?"

In that realm of soft delusions
Truth was still her words inside
"Though in Death life can be free,
Life of Death is suicide."


Details | Lyric | |

Where Melancholy Mingles

I suppose
there’s always good reason
to cry
sadness never has a tough time making friends
ominously,
this dark acquaintance often approaches 
lending water for eyes
to cry

I suppose
there's never better time than now 
to moan
grunting and moaning are long lost relatives
miserably, 
feeding off each other 
dragging stragglers along for the ride
to moan 


I suppose
anxiety needs a moment in the sun 
to worry
flipping, tossing, in a cerebral ceremony
fidgety
anxiously twitching 
as everyone quickly moves
to worry

I suppose 
there's no harm in a little dishonesty
to lie
while thieves join the party
deceptively
a terrible tandem 
of dirty deeds and tendencies
to lie

I suppose
everyone has the ability  
to struggle 
with adversity, where melancholy mingles
blatantly
crying, grunting, and moaning
anxiety moves in permanently
to struggle

 
and I suppose,
there's a heavy dose of negativity 
to digest 
mixed with stress
continually
it may lead to one hell of a 
nasty mess
to ingest
 
©  2011  ~JSLambert Esquire


Details | Rhyme | |

Little sister blues

the younger sister means always the last to get
they say its middle child syndrome but I'm the youngest yet
the baby of the family treated like a fool
smothered yet ignored following the rules

my older sibling ignore me for the majority of the time
but when they turn there attention i sure do pay for that crime
simple things like walking past and smacking the back of my head
with the parting shot following the lines "i do wish you were dead"

My parents are no better for all they see is the money sign
a nuisance that occurred when there life intertwined 
beaten down and left alone is this what the fates had planned?
answer me! Damn it! Answer me I demand!

So I guess what I'm feeling is little sister blues
forced to pay for others crimes until I'm old news
I just have to wait for  the final song
when I can spread my wings and finally be gone


Details | Rhyme | |

BURIED TREASURE

As the casket begins to lower,
  Slowly, into the earth;
     Prepared for decay...

  Buried, in great depth,
     a young childs only chance to dream;
  The one salvation, he'd believe;
  The only love, with no conditions;
  that his little blue eyes,
          had ever seen...


Details | Imagism | |

The blinding light of all things impossibly solitary

I MUST FEEL EVERY MOMENT. around. ME, when. I'm the ONE in a CROWD|| There are. NO GODS. left. in OUR. Crowds, our. HUDDLED. masses, sulking|| Here there are. NO CROWDS. no, never WERE. any. crowds, here in. my . own . SAHARRA||


Details | Haiku | |

ice

tell me why you know
about the once icy cold
that was in my heart


Details | Imagism | |

More Bittersweet Still

A Marine kneeling in front of a boy A seven year old boy with hands extended barely containing his sorrow Presenting him with a folded flag With quivering chin, fighting back tears In acknowledgement that his dad …Has no tomorrow…


Details | Rhyme | |

daddy stop

daddy stop,
it hurts too much,
your fingers burn,
the skin you touch,
daddy stop,
please go away,
you say it's just,
the way we play,
daddy stop,
im six years old,
i promise i'll learn,
to do what i'm told,
daddy stop,
don't come tonight,
so you and mommy,
don't have to fight,
daddy stop,
mommy cries,
you tell me,
to tell her lies,
daddy stop,
i've gone away,
and my little sister,
doesn't want to play.

if you or some one you know can relate please tell some body. let them help you.
@};~ read mommy listen. it goes with this.


Details | Couplet | |

Running away for love

This could change my life.
He knows all i want is to be his wife.
I'm so ready to be gone,
I'm so sick of feeling alone
Should i stay or should i go?
I ask my best friend and she says "hell no"
Its not like I'll be gone forever
Only one more year and we'll be back together.
Its a fresh new start,
With someone i love with my whole heart.
So many thoughts in my head
as i lay on this cold stiff bed.
I just want to be in your arms,
Just so scared of who this all harms.
My hand shakes as i write about this decision,
Like a new doctor making his first incision.
In my heart its a 100% yes
But in my head I'm thinking 'is this the best?'
All the thoughts of this goin right 
Out wieghs the thoughts saying 'this isnt so bright'
Finally out of the madness
No more having so much stress.
No more screaming in my face
Finally ill be in the right place
Just hoping they accept me into their home
Because God knows i cant do this alone.
This isnt a maybe
are you ready baby?


Details | Acrostic | |

Love's Reverence, a cover of ''A Boat Beneath A Sunny Sky''

Chivalrist of pure intent
Honoured by the ears that lent
A tale recounted to content

Resplendant wonders brought to ear
Laments that draw an unseen tear
Evasion of the heart's deep fear

Soft young mind and placid eyes
Lucid to the tale's disguise
Unseeing the truth behind the lies

There upon the golden water
Wimsically listening to the lauder
Inclines the middle Liddell daughter

Days have come and years have passed
Golden evenings couldn't last
Erosionary time has swept too fast

Dreary dawns and bitter nights
Overcame the muse's might
Dead and gone, that fragile light

Greiving when his heart was tore
Secreted to land of lore
On through Wonderland he'll soar

Now to dream forevermore


Details | Clerihew | |

Where have you gone

When you were all alone
Who always picked up the phone?
When everyone turned you away
Who was there everyday?

When my life was falling apart
You were there to defend my heart
When I was pushing you
You helped me anyway

When your best friends turned
Who was there to help through the hurt?
When no would help you through
Who told you," I'll stand by you?"

When I was causing myself pain
You were there to clear the rain
When I was to lose all hope
You were there to help me cope

Now in my lap my life is collapsed
My friends are things of the past
I feel alone.. I am alone.
So tell me this. Where have you gone?


Details | Verse | |

Melancholy Memory

He, my childhood friend I really didn't notice That he was different I loved him.. We played together Innocent of misplaced genes He wanted to be with me Simple days.. He was so happy Blissfully unaware Downs Syndrome was his curse Ignorance.. He was sent away " For his own good" they said My innocence dying How I cried.. In another time His gifts would be nourished A melancholy heart My friend Steve..


Details | Free verse | |

My body craved a bit of you

The first thing I teethed was failure,
Pain with no success.
Mistakes I've made have seen the light.
They shatter upon contact.
My wicked ways increase in number,
I cradle them with ease.

To my surprise and others too,
My behavior will never change.
I was born into existence,
This life of taunting games.

The faults I've made are plenty,
A hobby it is to me.
This talent that consumed me,
This gift was not in free will.

My body craved a bit of you,
So this is what I got.
A natural attraction to failure,
Mistakes and fault and sin.

My body craved a bit of you,
An instinct I regret.
A bond that can't be broken,
Fixed or cleaned or cured.

We share a solemn constant,
A constant to this day.

My body craved a bit of you,
And this is what I got.
A living form of disaster,
I'm a disaster just like you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Poetry About Poetry

Shades of color bounce within
Singing their hues dancing in place
Vivid lines colored outside
Rules broken with empty space
A midnights dream heard and seen
Gleaming from the twinkle of a eye
Wings touched flown and plucked
Gliding like a bird up in the sky
Wishes from pennies thrown into tears
The reservoir over flowing with pigments of pain
Drowning from the shadows 
The flood paints the day
Words speak volumes of silence hidden
Their sounds blind to what they see
Mirrors of nouns and verbs 
Their meaning and secrets lost at sea
Emotions ruled by laws of language
Spelled in boxes of glass
Melted from sands inside
That voices strangle to grasp


Details | Narrative | |

My Birthday Wish

I sit on the floor and wait from dusk to dawn, for a new day will soon be reborn. I count all 
the blooming flowers, and count down the long hours, while mum takes her shower. 
Today's the day, for it's my birthday. I hope I get A car, or A guitar or maybe even become 
A movie star, but that's asking A bit too much of me. I walk around singing out A loud, 
acting proud feeling as if my heads in A cloud. To my surprise I start stumbling over my 
words and begin mumbling. Maybe mum just forgot about me, or are they just hiding the 
presents from me? I walk through the hall, with my head dragging looking at the floor, 
and go to bed with my heart feeling torn. It's getting late and I can no longer wait. I turn 
off my light, and close my eyes and cry having so much things go through my mind. I 
drift to sleep but then I see, mum walking in my room in the middle of the night with A 
light. It's so bright. She raises my heart like A kite, taking of it flight and she says, good 
night, and turns of the lights. She raised my hopes high and then shot them out of the 
sky. I break down and cry, it feels as if I've just died. No one remembered why today was 
A special day for it was my birthday. I look at the sky and wonder why? I light my candle 
and close my eyes, tears dripping down onto my thighs, and I start to whisper in my 
mind. "I don't want A car, or even A guitar. I don't even want to become A movie star. I 
just want to be free of this disease called poverty, I just want people to stop running away 
from me. Free me of aids so I can stop feeling afraid. Stop me from being poor, so I can 
afford to stop sleeping on the floor. Make me smile for there is no reason to smile, but 
please make my life worth while. Take me away from Africa, for all I see is people being 
raped and all the kids hearts filled with hate, I'm loosing my faith for I am living each day 
even though there is nothing to live for". A Tear drops on my candle, And puts out the 
flame I whisper in pain,This is "My Birthday Wish"
 
We wish for luxuries that only money can afford. They wish for water for they are poor. 
People need to learn to smile, for kids living in poverty have A legitimate reason not too. 
Be happy for what we have, and never complain for what we don't have.
 
- Wiko Te Maru


Details | Lyric | |

Jane

As she went walking down the lane
The flowers seemed to bloom and rise
And as she walked she murmured Jane
The little sister gone for days


The trees grew tall the grass grew thick
But none of Jane did they find quick
She’s lost forever some did cry
She’s gone to heaven to the sky


I soon will find her she replied
And every day she looked and cried
Though time went by with out a trace
She did not find the little face


The trees grew tall the grass grew thick
But none of Jane did they find quick
She’s lost forever some did cry
She’s gone to heaven to the sky


Week then month then year went by
She walked the lane ever high
Rain nor snow nor sleet did stop
The now grown women from her walk


Details | Bio | |

They Called Him Tiny Tim

Yeah they called him Tiny Tim....so dam tiny he fitted through the basketball rim
 everytime they were out yeah he was hiding in 
yeah, while they were out he was holding back from enjoyin the young life of sin 
 but he cared little none for the drugz, the liquor or the shiny gin 
all he wanted was someone to care, someone to show him atleast a grin 
He was soo dam small people started calling him Nemo without the broken smaller fin
 while his peers were out making dough off dope he was out collecting cans of tin
 Light shone upon others dreams while upon his hopes the light remained dim 
He was hated on because the size and weight of his body, not the color of his skin
 half breed yeah he was as he played ball they laughed at how he came to their chin
 he was just a young boy living in a world of hateful men 
But he cared not cuz he would get the **** back up and try again 
they told him he would never BE 
that he would never succeed 
he would never be apart of something or anything 
but with a stroke of luck he doing something 
no more hiding and no more ****ing running 
People see his attitude and life now aint it stunning 
His life shooting off cant you see Tiny Tim with a Bazooka Gunning 
But now He living for something and dying for nothing 
he made it through high school while most his haters were frontin 
staying in school payed off now his life career is out on sidewalks jumping 
while he sees his past peers life out in the ghetto life with drugs and alcohol dumping
 He was gone for a minute lockdown but make way TINY TIM IS COMING


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

I bet you that you didnt care
about how i was doing over here
all alone on the floor drowning in life that's poor.
Confused and all by myself,
feeling that i lost all self-control.

I bet that you dont care
how my mom helped you with welfare, 
trying to do whats right you burn a house
in all your shame you go to jail and
 fail to show up for my birth.

I bet you don't know how it was,
to be without a dad who lost his self,
in the dark all alone he sits in a phsyco home.

Where his mom feeds him and,
tells him how she tried to see me,
after fifteen years i fell apart, trying to pick up my broken heart,
but still i bet you didn't know how it felt to be alone.


Details | Free verse | |

For Nate 'The Great'

Singing
With tears 
In your eyes
As you stared at me
With the most caring gaze.

Your childhood
Sung in sweet lyrics,
They lingered in my ears
As my throat began to tighten
With sadness.

What's that, dear?
Your parents beat you?
Never a word spoken 
To anyone?

It made you a better man?
No dear,
It caused horrid memories.

Your father 
Brought you to a bar
And let his friends beat you 
With bottles?

My dear
Sweet Nate,
Keep singing.

Your mother 
Was addicted to drugs
And violence?

What ever happened
To her?
She's buried six feet under?

What about your father?
Prison
With the other abusive men?

Scars
Dug deep 
In your skin
Jump to my sight
As I quietly whimper
With your soft voice.


Details | Monorhyme | |

six year olds prayer

A SIX YEAR OLDS PRAYER.

Dear God do you know who I am.
I am possibly your biggest and youngest fan.
I am not that old and I’m only six.
I know with you anything can be fixed.
This year has been hard so my parents have said.
Mom and Dad cry cause there is not enough food to be fed.
My Dad stresses and says its just not fair.
He’s  worried so much he is losing his hair.
I went to the doctor a lot this year .
Mom and Dad said there is no need to fear.
The doctor tells them it’s the worst they have ever seen.
He said it was cancer, God what does that mean.
Does that mean I have been bad or done something wrong.
Does it hurt god, if so for how long.
They give me treatment and lots of people pray.
I get lots of hugs from people that don’t know what to say.
Mom says that you have my lost hair.
I know why ,its cause your making me the softest and the best teddy bear.
Here it is Christmas time once again.
We opened our gifts and everyone cried when they saw my cheesy grin.
God I know you are not Santa but can I ask you for a gift from you.
Its just a small thing I would like from you.
Can you give my parents strength when you call my name.
Cause I know their life will be different and never the same.
It’s the only gift I want and nothing else.
Please God remember its for my parents and not for myself.
I’m really tired God sorry I have to go.
I love you God I am thankful that you already know.
So I will say goodnight and I will talk to you again.
And most of all thanks for everything God.
Love you forever.
AMEN. 


Details | Pantoum | |

they helped to look for little Caylee

they helped to look for little Caylee,
in rugged woods, muddy lakes and ditches
endless days and nights, thousands searched
everywhere by foot, car, boat and air

in rugged woods, muddy lakes and ditches,
they tirelessly looked for signs of her--
everywhere by foot, car, boat and air;
hoping she had survived any danger

they tirelessly looked for signs of her,
while Caylee's family pleaded for her return,
hoping she had survived any danger--
until her mother confessed she had drown

while Caylee's family pleaded for her return,
endless days and nights, thousands searched;
until her mother confessed she had drown,
they helped to look for little Caylee


*FOR Pantoum CONTEST


Details | Lyric | |

In Your Love

Every time you kiss my lips 
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Like a never ending abyss
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Every time you whisper I miss you
I am drowning, I'm drowning
In your love,  in your love.

Life doesn't seem dangerous
When I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
Don't take it so serious
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
I don't care what they think of us
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
In your love, in your love

~ Leonard Napierskie


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Day

I am coming home
late once again.
It's freezing outside,
and I want to see my dad
whome I love.
I'm happy with my friends
until I walk through the door with them,
the worst mistake I could ever make.
Dad was okay
but then his treacherous girlfriend
who calls herself a "woman of God"
says "You're just going to let
her get away with coming home late
with her friends?!"
Dad shrugs his shoulders.
"You're not raising her right.
I'm leaving."
Then Dad gets furious,
but only with me.
He storms through the kitchen at me,
angry, arms flailing.
I didn't know that his next words
would change my life forever. 
"You made me lose
my house and my girlfriend.
I want nothing to do with you,
you're not my daughter anymore.
I don't love you.
I want you out tonight."
I lose all control-
bursting into tears, running to the bathroom.
As I collapse on my knees I cannot control the tears,
I cannot breathe. 
My breath comes in between long sobs.
My chest hurts. 
It hurts so badly,
the love I've lost.
My aunt's arms are wrapped
around me, but it doesn't help.

-Caroline Youngless


Details | Haiku | |

Reflection

Somber, forgotten:

Young taunting winds encircle

Lone-standing cactus.


Details | Blank verse | |

Old Friend

The man looked at the other with a gripping smile.
The other man simply stared
A year long since they've seen their file.
Only recognized through what they cared
A time of respect was not called for
They simply said hello
They could've talked about when they were poor
But the day was cold and the feeling was hollow
They reached their riches
They succeeded throughout dark times
They ended up spoiling b******
For a simple thing can be turned to simple rhymes.
A day has gone by since their recognition
The man lost his enthusiasm for reaching the other
And with that, they both lost friendly position
But the other man was not a friend or brother,
He became what the happy man dreaded.
An unforgiving enemy
With no respect being credited.
A sad life it was, but it was not yours nor mine, it was simply a elusive scene.


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Son Is Autistic Part 1

This day I awoke, I had spent nights up before, 
till the point my body is what gave in. 
One would say I was probly depressed, 
but I like to think I spent it, 
asking myself what I already knew. 

I can remember feeling, 
love, shame, anger and happiness, 
all after opening my eyes, 
i wanted to but i couldnt bring myself to cry. 

I manged to get dressed, 
and while it seemed like forever, 
before I knew it, 
it was time to go. 

The ride there, was drivin in silence, 
neither of us realy talked, 
the music singing sounds, 
that I couldnt realy hear. 
I have never felt so alone 
and I asked myself...can I do this? 

When we arrived, I prepared myself, 
only for what I already knew. 
they greeted me with honesty, 
and a calming I can't describe, 
and i wonderd if, 
perhaps Kim had felt this way. 

They spoke with words they probly didnt think I understood, 
but have been through so many tests myself, 
now my child was the one, 
the one about to be labled. 
I had to ask myself "Is this my fault?" 

I would like ta say when they told me, 
I broke down and cryed, 
the truth is I felt nothing, 
and I began to ask myself why.


Details | I do not know? | |

Loneliness Is A Powerful Thing

Loneliness is a powerful thing...
It always hurts your feelings

When somebody tells you wrongs
About your beliefs...

When someone stabs you verbally
And emotionally scarring you for years.

All those fears, turn into fear of
Being true and strong-willed for yourself...

Other people may never remember your pain,
And pretend it was nothing like they took it in vain.

Loneliness kills you when you see
What others might have and you ask "Why can't that be me?"...

Guiltiness of envy causes even more loneliness,
The kind of feeling that tells
What kind of spells negative thoughts put on you...

Forcing you to believe
That what if everyone hates you.

Feeling hurt and corrupted after hearing others...
Saying you're bad to others,
Making you think "They don't understand anything..."

Feeling ignored and bored
When you start to feel left out,
You start to doubt about the friends you have.
(Any kind of) Loneliness is a powerful thing...


Details | Bio | |

My angel

You were bright and beautiful from the moment i found out i was carring you. A beautiful angel in disguide. Not only were you my child, but a part of me my own flesh and blood, my angel sent from above. Even tho i never met you, you were mine and i loved you. I could only imagen what you would look like, and all i knew you were perfect in everyway. Then your destiney came and your fate was sealed. I couldnt stop it, I couldnt make it go away, you were taken from me and my heart stopped. I loved you from the begining and I'll love you till the day i draw my last breath, your my angel from above taken from me to soon.


Details | Elegy | |

Bloodless On Mother's Day

There is a glare of stray sunlight
daring to reverberate
through spiderwebbed glass I haven't
found energy to fix
in the span of four years.
It is too much of a mirror,
too tangible a thought,
to make new.
It's lithe fingers, thin and bony, 
and mockingly bright,
steal over embossed cardstock that arrives, like clockwork,
in deepest sympathy.
And a thornless bouquet of pastels laden with
Babies Breath
only draws on blood long lost;
nobody seems to comprehend such an allegory,
or lack there of,
so it can't be carried
over the steps.




"Bloodless On Mother's Day"
Jenna-Nichole Conrad
Wordsmith


Details | Ballad | |

Hope in His Eyes

I once saw a man take a younger lad away
Who knows what plans he had that day

Later that evening the traps brought back a husk
A soulless silhouette of boy betrayed at dusk

The man that took him home
Was known to be harsh as stone

Beat and defiled the innocence that was once there
Now no one can even come near

I extended my hand to the shattered boy
Who mused my hand like a sharp toy

I calmed his nerves by staying with him in the room
Where the nurses and doctors spoke curses and doom

That night I read him a book to see a what magic was in store
The book was Peter Pan and Neverland Lore

In his slumber he twitched and moaned horrible words
But in morning he awoke smiling singing like a bird

He told me that his dream was of Neverland 
Captain Hook was there with one hand!

All was appearing for the best until I heard the news
The boy was fighting a battle he was going to lose

That night I spent with him again laughing and joking the hours past
Then his time had come at last

Before I had a chance to cry when he died
I saw the tears and hope in his  melancholy eyes

Now he is somewhere doing battle against the pirates and Hook
Now at last nibs could be added to the last of the book


Details | Free verse | |

Moved

facing the first time
her wheel-chaired son on the move
saddest vale of tears

driving his wheelchair
his face splashes happiness
enjoying his ride

watching two people
having their own point of view
I can relate to

we meet now and then
all those years I saw his smile
ten inspiring years 

an impressive guy
cleaning his second wheelchair
for tomorrows ride 

Note: 11.30.2012: message from his wife: "I did not expect my husband to be "on the internet' in such a unusual and also very special way. You have touched me very  deeply with your poignant poem.  Thank you so very much."


Details | Rhyme | |

bye bye button

third hole down,
a sad sight to see,
a bright red button,
has chosen to flee,

my coat is in tears,
at having this flaw,
as i stand at the glass,
and reflect what i saw,

the neat row of buttons,
is now missing three,
that red little button,
that chose to flee..


Details | Free verse | |

Fly Home, Little Angel

“Come fluttering words, come drifting to me...” A Rambling Poet

A gentle breeze brings me the soft smell
So familiar it calms my tear-filled eyes instantaneously.
I venture closer to the source.
Two ebony, round vases resting atop a sill.
The scent of the roses and carnations flit about me,
As they did about her so little ago.
Yet we have laid her softly
After she was slain
Into the moist, soft soil from which her scent derived.
Always like a butterfly did flora float about her.
So small, and pale, with mahogany hair
When we found her lay flared about her delicate head
Like the halo our Father gifted her.
For it came about in such a gentle flow
And jade eyes, calm as the sea
In which we found her
They sparkled like the sun dancing off the waves.
Her eyes were open, and matched the swirling surf.
The tears flow silver from my own emerald orbs
I peer into mucky puddles lying about 
And see her face in my own.
I bore her from my womb
Yet our Lord has called her home
To save her from the world's cruelty
An Angel to watch this land
I stopped to smell the flowers
Not rushing bust taking life in time
The wind blew by my ear
And I heard the whisper of a little Angel
“I love you, Mommy”

Erika Raiken
Contest: What is she thinking... - Constance La France ~A Rambling Poet~
7.27.2011


Details | Free verse | |

Hunting the zero man

A spoilt photo,a wasted life,
failure as a father,the experiment didn't come off.
So great was my abhorrence at the sight of humanity
that i decided to give her the go-by.
Ladies and gentlemen i introduce you,
the disintegration of my personality.
Brand me with a red-hot iron,iam the killer,
Lynch me ,who will struck the first blow?
Be stunned because iam the zero man.
Fully aware of the danger,iam the cracker man
so don't be soppy.
Sentimentalism is the reason of stupidity
and the end justifies the means.
Nothing ever put me out,no shiver all over my body.
Zero.
I will save my skin once again,believe it or not
and i will do this with fussiness,take it or leave it.

A clenched-fist salute to the dead child in front of my car.

I killed again giving birth to nothing.


Details | Haiku | |

Monument

Forgotten but here
Remembered yet never there
Why do you exist?


Details | I do not know? | |

For Amanda

Why should a child be left behind?
Left behind to try and fight
My niece is small but oh so smart
But they want to send her back

She is kind and so very wise
But is afraid to stand and say 
I am smart, I want to stay

Abused by her father
Broken down by the parent that should have protected her
And now, I her aunt am here to say fathers like that
Should die today! 

My niece is small and afraid of all ‘cause one who should 
Have held her dear took away her innocence. 
I will stand and fight for her. 
I will hold her so very near and never let her shed a lonely tear again


Details | Rhyme | |

One august morning

One August morning, waiting for those birthday presents, Then with no warning, down stairs came my parents, And with them came a special surprise, Our family was ending , due to lies. Divorce was the word of choice, Pain in my fathers voice , Too young to understand, Why this was being planned, Ever since this damn event, My family has grown more distant. Soon after mom was gone, My eldest sis embarked upon, A journey of her own. My other sis went with mom, All alone with dad .com, Stayed with him a couple of years, Soon followed the steps of my family peers, I feel bad for leaving, Left my father , alone and grieving, Why should I be the one to stay, When it comes down to it, were all grey, One day maybe we, Can once again be family.


Details | Ballad | |

To you A whole

I can’t say it yet, but I will
When I can effect you and instill 

My mind and emotions you destroy
Like a soul you own. Like a toy

One day I will defeat you!
Punch, kick, and beat you

The bruises and cuts sting right now
I want to get you away, but how?

All I hear from you is pain and torment
It is a waiting game for the one single moment

Learning hate and dismissal with indifferent tones
While I sit in a bed weak and alone

Brings me to my resolve and what I must do
Get ride of the demon and ass whole in you

My days of suffering come to an end
When I make that phone call and bring you in

Relief in the eyes of my mom and brothers a real
We made it through this whole ordeal

Most of all I except the role you failed and didn’t deserve
Bread winner in a house that can finally be heard!


Details | Free verse | |

My Secrets

Hey My Name Is Nancy .

These Are My Secrets…

I’ve been treated as an adult since the 5th grade.
I use to cut myself…
Because I was expected to be more than I can actually handle.
I’ve attempted suicide by trying to over dose before…
More then 3 times…
Because I couldn’t find the reason to live no more.
I have a smile on my face everyday…
So I can cover all the pain and hurt I have inside.
I’ve opened up about my sexuality, with liking both genders…
But I can’t ever tell my parents,
Because they’re somewhat against it.
I think I’m starting to starve myself again…
Because at least twice a week, my parents calls me fat.
I started drinking when I was in the 9th grade…
Because those were the only time where I didn’t have expectations.
I cry myself to sleep every night…
Because I feel like I’m a disappointment
Because I feel like there’s no point in living
Because I can’t handle this anymore.


( A side Note )
I have more things to say, but I can’t find the guts to say it, because I’ve done things that 
I’ve regret and I am ashamed of. Everyone has. People all over are going through so much at 
a young age, and some of us are taking it for granted. Now a days, especially in high school, 
kids are very cruel, and don’t usually think before saying things hurtful. I really think that 
many of you people before judging other people should get to know their life story first. Many 
people have gone through things you can’t imagine, so don’t add on to their worries.


Details | Verse | |

Somewhere, Right Now

Somewhere, right now, a child is crying.
Somewhere, right now, a child is dying,
at the hands of a monster that feels no shame.
How could you hurt a child?
The eyes of innocent souls
marked with pain and fear,
scarred forever with wound that will never heal.

Somewhere, right now, a girl looks in the mirror
and doesn't want to live with what she sees.
They call her ugly.
They call her stupid.
They call her fat or useless or crazy.
A child should live with love and kindness.
She doesn't want to live at all.

Somewhere, right now, a child is praying.
She hopes that tonight will never come.
When the lights go out the war begins.
She'll fight.
She'll cry.
She'll try to run.
But the battle is over.
The enemy won.
She lies there raw and cold and used
with the knowledge that night will come again
in her painful nightmare without an end.


Details | Couplet | |

Surgery

Lost, following darkness at an exaggerated speed.
 Feeling helpless with an ever growing need.

Trying to catch your breath with a tremendous scare.
 Its there, all you have to do is inhale the air.

Panic is an unwelcome, yet familiar friend.
 Dear God, tell me this isn't the end.

He isn't even six weeks old and here he lays. 
 Death banging at the door, chased away by she who prays.

Thank you for competent nurses who love their job. 
 Thank you for that stranger to hug you while you violently sob.

I love you more every day that I see my son's bright smile.
 You really never left me, you were there all the while.

I owe you my son's life and that broken piece of my heart.
 Thank you for not taking him away and ripping me apart.




Dedicated to God......


Details | I do not know? | |

A Suicide Confession

Cut my wrist once, cut my wrist twice
Now my blood is flowing, so its time to
Say what’s on my mind,
I know you wont miss me, there’s
No reason why you should
But just hear my final confessions
If you would…..

I lost a good friend who meant a lot to 
Me, over a stupid misunderstanding
And a possible lie thought was brought 
To me. Everyone tried to sway me this
Way and that, but I still lost my friend
This is fact

I also lost my hear to which made me
Feel like a fool because I also lost my
Friend whom I lost my heart too. If 
Only I could do it all again…wait what
Am I talking about!?! See I told you I’m
A fool I wouldn’t change a thing this much
Is so true

I hurt these guys feelings and I cant take it
Back. I’m sorry but I don’t like you like that
My friends advised me to give one of them a
Chance but I couldn’t do it so I hurt them all
In the end

My family has been there right by my side
Drying my tears whenever I cried. But 
Sometimes they don’t realize the reason
Behind my tears, because I became an expert
Of hiding the pain and all of the hurt due to
Recent years

My biological father and his mother is a prick,
Believe me, spreading lies which causes pain
To my heart because somehow I feel its all
My fault. My birth separated my parents to 
this very day . So I feel very ashamed. Everyday
When I think of my biological dad I feel like
If it wasn’t for me, he would be with my 
Mother living happily

So now as I lay in the tub full of my blood
And tears, I say “Good-Bye” and “Thank You”
For listening to My Suicide Confessions…






Details | Free verse | |

Hot Oil In China

We have hot oil in China,
  Rising slowly from the ground
  There is a deep dense fog hovering round

The air is smokey, so dense it seems green
  The sun so hot it's making everyone lean
  Curfews so early all think it's obscene

And the hot oil keeps rising, if you know what I mean
  Hot oil keeps rising, it doesn't go down
  It's been well over a month since it covered the ground

Machinery moves carelessly all through the night
  I bothers us so much we boarded up the windows tight
  I bought ear plugs but I gave them to my brother Mike

Bells keep bleeping on and off go the lights
  So another pair of ear plugs I bought
  School won't let me wear them, saying I'll rot

So I decided to grow my hair long 
  Hide my ear plugs under it all day long

But when I go home at night 
  And I cover up really tight
  And I pray because theres nothing else we can do
  Oh hear me Lord, don't let my mother find the ear plugs in my shoe


Details | I do not know? | |

Prodigy

Dark, twisted stiletto,
Crouched and feral at the end of my bed.
It’s my night off tonight, 
Or it was supposed to be until the doorbell rang.
Show him on up, a girl has to eat.

Hello again sir, 
The handcuffs are next to my teddy bear,
I’m sorry I wasn’t in lesson today.
Don’t mess with me darling,
I’m older than I look.
Next time your paying, I don’t come cheap,
But if you hold me for a bit longer, Ill cut the cost.

The weekend descends like an October cloud,
A nice little trip to town I think,
Drum up business.
I sit right at the back of the bus, just so people know who’s in charge.
If you talk during the remembrance day silence again,
Ill show you trouble.

An afternoon spent blowing smoke rings at kids,
Their smiles get me every time.
The police caught us drinking again,
Idiots, what do they know?
Do you really want to help Mr Policeman?
Then get me my daddy back.
He made me feel loved, really special,
Like a princess.
None of this handcuff rubbish.

Another clueless councillor has left me,
Just like all the others, struggling to forget,
And succeeding.
But I do have one lasting memento,
On my floor a hint of sparkle,
She always wore such pretty earrings,
Twirling in the light, dancing and obscene as she spoke.
Snatched. It serves her right. 
She’ll have earache tonight the silly girl.
It is as she once said,
The world is simply not ready for a star like me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pain As A Catalyst For Faith

I never sought your money, never sought your gold
all I ever asked, was for the truth to be told
while time has passed, my hope has faded
G-d only knows, how long I had waited

Memories I have as a little boy, once happy just to play with my toy
but as I grew up my mind did ponder, if truth really existed over yonder
reaching adulthood I saw for myself, the lies which my soul had been fed
only by the grace of G-d was I prevented, my steps to purgatory from being led

Now I am older, being blessed with a family of my own 
left with so many questions, and still very very much alone
perhaps if only I could make sense, to understand who you really are
a chance to at least to be able, with hope to remove this scar 

And you my forebearer, although you brought me into being
you gave me my strength, but my faith gave me my seeing 
but now your are old, and you can no longer pretend
despite our relationship, gone is the ability for me to mend

Those missed opportunities, now my mother is no longer 
only after her death, did I realize she made me stronger
my internal tears how inconsolable, when this truth set in
oh how much I failed to honor her while alive, this my sin

"Honor thy father and thy mother", have we been commanded
for no other reason or purpose, other than He has demanded
no matter how much grief or anger, you feel from you they deserve
avoid bringing punishment upon your soul, your anger do not preserve

Lessons of a lifetime, skeletons in the closet we all do hide
varying durations of time we have been pained, in whom to confide
there can be no escape, for our actions will we be judged
how difficult to overcome our ego, to this we can't be budged

While we cannot go back, stopping those hands from turning time
but we can seek to redirect ourselves, focusing toward the sublime
charity starts at home, therefore it's for our own ultimate good
eternal bliss really does await us, if we but only understood


Details | Classicism | |

When I Think Of You

                  When I Think Of You I smile cause I think of all the good times we had,
        I stop myself when I'm about to cry and start feeling sad, I just wish you could come back I miss you so bad. No matter what I do theres always something that reminds me of you there was so much things we've been threw.  There thick and thin you were always by my side as my best friend. When I think of you I get chills inside I love you when you left apart of me died. Noone could ever replace you if they tried.


Details | Free verse | |

she wonders

She wonders what you’re doing
and how you're living life
what new things did you learn today
and how did you sleep last night
did you feel raindrops on your face
or sunshine in your eye
of all the questions left uknown
the biggest one she has is why
why can’t you be together
why can’t she watch you grow
why can’t she guide you through this world
this she just does not know
but she promises you’ll be together
no matter how long it seems
just know your always in her heart
and always in her dreams

Poem is dedicated to a dear friend of mine 
P.G  Always remember sweetie true love is never lost, you will meet again someday.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Last Time Censored and Incomplete

For the third time he’s got her, he’s trying to get it in;
She’s saying no, but whatever… he just won’t listen.
“Stop, Get the f--- off me! Don’t touch me… NO!”
She’s fighting, she’s glaring, but he isn't letting go.
People walking by, glimpse, looks away;
Pleading with her eyes, still no one stays…
From that moment she realized nobody cares,
Because when she needed someone, no one was there.

He’s groping her everywhere; her petite frame is crushed-
Between his body and a wall... the opposite of plush;
She’s in uniform; and inspection is in an hour,
Whining as he abuses her, draining all of her power…
There’s an opening, she strikes… she tries to run;
He grabs her by her hair, throws her around, he isn't done.
Feeling every jab in her back gritting against the wall,
And every time he draws back with his hand curled into a ball…

She now fears that anytime she strikes, he’ll strike back,
And it seems that manners are something that he unfortunately lacks.
So she stops hitting, she just pushes and blocks,
But he’s so d--- big! Like a boulder, a rock…
Hold in your tears; don’t let him see you cry,
Playing over through her mind like a lullaby.
 
She keeps on her face disgust and anger as he violates her everywhere;
Hoping for a hero, in the parking lot, past the cars…she just stares. 
It’s over, he walks her to class and she’s in a daze;
Feeling so exposed, angry, and ashamed...
...
..
.


Details | Free verse | |

Valentine

Soory silly Valentine
but, yes I have to go
I'll pack my things
and leave tonight
head for the open road
I don't know wher i'm going
or how I'll get there yet
The calender is marked
Tank is full
and my raincoat's soaking wet

Sorry, silly Valentine
and I apologize
but I need something more than this
I need bluer skies
Well I'm going someplace wonderful
and I will bring you there someday
For right you are too little
So, I must be on my way

Sorry, silly VValentine 
I'll bring you something back
all things special, just like you
safe here in my sack
With the keys in the ignition
and the heater up on high
Here is the part I dread the most--
time to say..good bye.


Details | ABC | |

Why Dad

The look on your 
Tells me everything I need to know
I'm a disgrace to you
Doing nothing 
What can I do
To make you proud of me?
I'll do it for you
Just tell me how.
I look for your love
In the depths of your eyes
I see nothing
Please tell me why.
Dad, it's me 
Your little girl
You brought me here 
Into this  world
Yes, I'm though 
But my heart on the floor
I've had enough
I can't take it anymore.


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -part 2-

A long time passes and I am still here Silently insulting, brutally weeping But then I lift my head from the ground To see him standing there Towering over me in all endeavor of quietude Was he there the entire time? I feel his eyes but see only his stare I am dreaming again Has he returned to guide me? To frighten me back into reality? Who are you, entity of fear? I know death draws me near— But why, oh mystery, do you linger here? He never answers me, though still I try Why are you here? Must you hate me too? He pulls me up staring me down His thin, sophisticated form makes me feel hollow Empty features burning my vision As he bends facing me I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Why, I ask, my voice croaking Tell me why. . . He takes my hand as I cringe Walking me to the edge, his head tilted my way I shake like a dried leaf on the brink of autumn A small, pathetic part of me wants to thank him To believe all of this. . .is right How though, can I trust his blank sincerity? I am the only. . .the lonely But there he is beside me His long fingers intermingling in mine The sense of fear and confusion Sticking to me like grime I am the Slender Man—I am—your friend And for once I let him embrace me I cannot bear to flee He tenses and tightens his grip Dreading I may slip away in panic Please stay. . .please stay Soon it will all just go away. . . He is warm against me—alive Breathing slowly, I feel the beating of his heart Bashing my nerves—blurring my mind Tingles shoot down my spine As I stand there, so close to him We watch a sagging sunset As tears flow down my infected eyes I have learned to fly. . .to embrace the lies Squeezing my hand he holds me close As the black sun wearily lifts its head one last time Only to sink from its post I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I lie Slender Man cradles me in his tendrils Surrounding me like I am its sickly nourishment Whispering comforting falsehood I gaze beyond the wasteland Beyond myself. . . But there I find nothing Hand in hand we walk over the edge Heading yonder into the sheer, sweet Nothingness The demons watch us disappear Grinning from ear to ear I cannot see them now. . . But I can smell their fear -January 26, 2013-


Details | Sonnet | |

Echoing abuse

His words concealed a life so full of lies
His hand was soft which held her gentle palm
She raised her head and looked into his eyes
Without a twitch he played her heart with calm

He knew the signs the ways to find his prey
He’d showed his smile and hid his means to harm
It was for him a laugh a game to play
Where he portrayed a mask with grace and charm 

From young till now with ease she chose wrong men 
And then she’d fight to keep her man in vain 
She craved their rage became the nagging hen
It seemed as if she aimed to live with pain

Dad hid mum and he found a mum to hit
Mum loved dad and she was treated like sh*t


Details | Rhyme | |

Love has a World of Crime too

Wouldn't it be the perfect crime?
If I stole your heart, and you stole mine?
But instead you stole my heart and I never had yours to begin with,
Somehow it took me until now to realize this,
 
You got to know me and I got to know you,
But you only got to know me and did what you had to do,
You never said anything about you; I did all the talking,
You basically read about me and at the end you started walking,
 
To start sharing everything like we had the least,
But you still didn’t care you just took the last piece,
I love you and you love me to,
But all you can do is make a man blue,
 
I hold your hand and you hold mine,
Our love like a betrayal of two harmonious rhymes,
I kept the love and you kept the hate,
But you couldn’t love you can probably only date.
 
Forever I thought but you’re a soul stealer,
You don’t feel love you’re a hate feeler,
You’re doing all of the most conniving crimes,
You shouldn’t kill love because now you got to do all the time.


----------
Comment and/or Rate please ;p


Details | Senryu | |

Lost Forever

Casey Anthony--
found not guilty, yet her child
is lost forever


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Memories June 9 1999

The touches, tears and cries for help, a child living in fear.
Being told never to tell a soul, to ashamed to look in the mirror.
Not being able to trust anyone, because of being betrayed.
Now haunted by what has been done, praying the memories will fade.
Surrounded by many shattered dreams and all hope taken away.
Drowning in fear of being violated again, their eyes plead the words they can not say.
The memories will always stay with a child buried deep into the mind.
A permanent barrier now built within, keeping anything from getting inside.


Details | Free verse | |

The Man in the Moon

A reflection of moonlit innocence. Once, happy days were like sand slipping through my fingers. I could not keep hold. I was only a girl. In the darkness of night, the man in the moon smiled down on me. Never alone or cold was I in the light. Though the world cannot protect a child from pain, the moon still smiles providing respite in the night. The child within thanks the moon for his warm smile. A reflection of stolen innocence, a face veiled in fear given peace by the moon's glow, a security blanket in the twinkle of stars. I prayed for peace in a place of broken souls and God showed His face in a shining moon. I pray for a thousand years of love in moonlight. I still shed tears for the girl but no longer fear. The man in the moon still smiles, a constant in an unpredictable world. By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, April 9, 2012 Fifth place in April Poem contest (PD)


Details | Rhyme | |

My Saddest Memory

"Imagine a lovely garden, tea for two,
          and this story.... "

When I was but a child,
My father he was my whole world.
On the night that he died
That world as I knew it... unfurled.

My mother and I were not close.
I was Daddy's little girl.
I had my father's eyes of green,
I had his hair, in wild curl.

I was a child, I saw him die.
No one should have such a memory.
My life that night forever changed.
I saw what no one should ever see.

Suicide is an ugly word.
It was never spoken about that night.
Truth was hidden from all who asked.
How could he think this solution right?

A childhood memory from long ago
Still brings tears when I recall
The night my father chose to die,
To run from life... and us all.






~~~ Francine Roberts~~~
            14/08/2011

for Constance's " I Fancy Another
Sad Poem" contest


Details | Free verse | |

Hate

A stinging pain falls upon my face making my vision turn red. 
I look up into your eyes and see nothing but the rage and hate in your souls windows,
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was kind, I was good.
But you made me like this.

Hit,
	After Hit,
			After Hit,

Put me deeper,
		And deeper, 
				And deeper,

Into the dark where there was only a spark of hope left 
But that even started fading as you continued to throw you anger at me.
Was I the one who made you like this?
Me your ’one and only’
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was brave, I was slipping.

Fading,
		And fading,
				And fading,

Into a deep,
		   Deep,
				Deep,

Darkness that made me lose my mind
You made me like this.
I can finally throw my anger at you.
How does it feel now mother?
You cry and ask me to stop, but did you ever listen?
Me your ‘one and only’
How could I be so angry?
How can I go day to day knowing what I do?

Very,
		Very,
				Very,

Simple.

I can go day to day knowing that I made myself free,
Of all the hate you would throw at me.
Can you handle mine?


Details | Free verse | |

Remember The Boy Who Had A Dream

           I woke up today with my head held high.
                   I told myself, today's the day!
                       Today I'm going to die...

              I can still   "Remember" the very day
          that you took     "The"       innocence from me.
                A simple      "Boy"       with little care.
                A knock,     "Who"       could it be?
    A familiar face, I       "Had"       to see just to believe.
     How could you?        "A"         family friend
                take my     "Dream"	from me.

Contest: Middle of the Road
Ernesto Prince


Details | Verse | |

We were all Innocent

Babies are born everyday
Eyes painted wide, with not much to say
Just basic needs and intimate love
Simplicity, for they know not of
But time surely passes
And questions are formed 
The enemy’s kisses pierce like a thorn

Innocence, we were all
Innocent
Before we were taught
Before we knew
Before we ever walked our way through
We were, innocent

Looked to our parents, looked to our friends
Bonds sealed with kisses we thought would never end
Shame in our smiles
Guilt in our bones
Masks painted on us with light undertones
Rejection invades and stings at one's core
Society kills what we were made for

Innocence, we were all
Innocent
Before we were taught
Before we knew
Before we could ever walk our way through
We were innocent

Before the walls and cement were there
Before the sorrow in the air
Before the heartbreaks
Before the fears
Before we ever cried a tear

We were innocent.


By: Sabina Nicole
Written 4-2-12


Details | Rhyme | |

William Hughes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTPIJW_nVCY

I pity him, a young black teen
Trying to be a man with no self-esteem
He examines his life but still can't get it right
His history and past still affecting him at night

He dreams dreams where he relives the past
When he was talked about for not being very fast
A fat boy, dedicated to his love
Rejected affection is what he dreams of

His attempts at sports earned him a bad place
In which he was called a disgrace to his race
And sadly he had a very weak heart
Falling for every girl in hopes to brighten up his dark

Empty, alone, he searched for his essence
Something he could use to embrace in his darkness
The job was open but no one would commit
No one would help to pull him out of this abyss

A quiet boy, what they call honest and sweet
Mistreated, deleted, and beat to his knees
Closed eyes he listens to the laughter
It shaped him, molded him, just like beaten batter

He's now 17 and has an intriguing mind
He knows what to fix but doesn't know how to bind
To seal the torn edges of his soul
To direct the path in which his emotions go

He's no longer bullied but his mind is on self-destruct
Never felt the love of a pretty girls touch
Somethings still wrong but he doesn't know what
What's repelling them, is he not enough

He opens his eyes looking through a wet mist
A single tear falls and he clenches his fist
He sits up listening to his hearts drum
And at last the next day has finally begun


Details | I do not know? | |

The Hurt That I Often Feel

Yesterday, I thought I seen the back of your head,
I felt my mind shook as I started to dread,
That you were there,
But then I realized,
It wasn't you.
As I left the airport,
I got into a truck, that was just like yours,
Then all my emotional sores started hurting again.

And later on, after seeing,
That the friend I wanted to have all to myself in high school,
Already had someone to be best friends with,
I held back my tears,
And fear that maybe I'll never recover
From these emotional issues that seem to go on forever.

And I feel like I can't keep myself together...
Especially when I see two siblings who love one another,
Wishing my siblings were close to my age,
Then I wouldn't have ever felt like I was in a lonely cage,
Envying those who get to have a younger sibling jump into their arms,
Whenever I see them at school...

She always felt like a little sister for me,
I want to protect her,
But nowadays, I don't like the way she is some times,
And I feel confused, and lonelier when I see that she
Likes her other friends more than me.
Yet again, more envy, 
And I feel guilty realizing it's wrong for me to be jealous
In friendship...

I'll make sure our friendship never ends,
But I know that my loneliness will never disappear,
And I will never be able to reappear,
In school with her again, it hurts,
Especially when I don't have someone to share the suffering
Of high school work and gym.
I still feel hurt and sad, everything in elementary,
That made me glad will be pushed away,

And I'll probably feel alone everyday...
Just like the old days, when I cried at night...
And my alarm clock was my nightlight...
Now I need Him, to keep me safe,
And be my light,
Because the hurt that I often feel
Is an inner fight for life!


Details | I do not know? | |

Willow Tree

Who do you feel like today?
Do you even remember my name? 
 It's been 8 years since then,
Has the willow tree we sat under gone dead?

 I wonder if you've changed,
if you regret your biggest mistake.
 Do you feel the sorrow i feel?
Is this pain the only thing that feels real?

 I feel no sorrow now,
I only feel hatered for the world somehow,
 How could you rape your granddaughters?
And Forget your own son, My father?!

 How could you do this to me?
The only way how i feel now is to bleed.
 I put no effort, no feeling, no thought,
In the war, 
 This battle in my heart
 
 How do you feel like today?
Is it easier to know that your safe?
 Outta jail they let you out,
Why so you can pay your road to hell?

 So i plant me a willow tree,
right above the grass,
 below the leaves.

 I lay here below this willow tree,
My only friend beside of me,
 The memories still remain, 
Alone,
 But it's better off this way


Details | I do not know? | |

I Hate

I hate the birth mark under my right eye
I hate my extremely static hair
I hate my big bottom lip
I hate my spotty nose

I hate that I have really *****y times
I hate that people only remember me for my really *****y times
I hate that the real *****es hate me
I hate being cautious so they don’t ***** about me

I hate that I cry over everything
I hate that people know I cry over everything
I hate that I hide from them anyway
I hate that they actually don’t care 

I hate the fact that my brother is leaving home next year
I hate the fact that I cried when he told me that
I hate the fact that I hid my tears from him
I hate the fact that he’s all I really have left

I hate my father for making me feel like he doesn’t care about me
I hate my mother for making me feel like she picked him over me
I hate that my brother had to look after me when they couldn’t be bothered
I hate that, in my eyes, they don’t deserve to be called mum and dad

I hate that when I was younger I had to run away from my father
I hate that my mother and brother left me by myself that day
I hate that they left me closer to my father
I hate that they went somewhere I would have felt safer

I hate that I feel like my friends are slowly fading away from me
I hate that I feel like I’m a third wheel
I hate that I feel like my friend’s don’t trust me
I hate that I feel like I can’t trust my friends

I hate the feeling of loneliness
I hate that I read books to escape to a world better than mine
I hate that I write to create a better life than my own
I hate that people want to invade that one heaven I invented

I hate that people ask me why I made Katy Clover Taylor
I hate that I had to make a role model for myself
I hate that she is the person I desperately want to be
I hate that she is the one thing I will never live up to

I hate that I feel like my grades would grasp my families attention
I hate that feeling of disappointment when I get a bad grade
I hate feeling like I have to live up to an expectation to hold their attention
I hate that I am relied on because of my grades

I hate that I am an older mind trapped in a younger body
I hate that I am limited in what I can do because of my age
I hate not being trusted upon
I hate people treating me as a kid

I hate not telling people how I feel
I hate hiding behind an invisible barrier
I hate not being able to share how I feel with people
I hate being scared that they won’t care.

I hate people judging me
I hate judging people
I hate that feeling of giving up
I hate the feeling of losing when I didn’t give up

I hate the choices I have made
I hate that nobody thinks I can live up to my dream
I hate people thinking they are so much better than me
I hate the fact that they are right

I hate that I will never make a good girlfriend
I hate the fact I know nobody would fall for me
I hate knowing that no one would help me pick up my life
I hate that it has fallen apart

I hate hurting the people I love
I hate them not loving me anymore
I hate knowing that what I would do would hurt people
I hate the fact I do it anyway

I hate knowing that I do all of this
I hate knowing I hate all of this
I hate trying to change it
I hate that I am not able to change it

I hate that I try not to give up hope
I hate knowing all hope is lost
I hate that I still try and cling to it anyway
I hate knowing I failed at that too

But most of all

I hate not being able to express this until now
I hate that this still won’t change a thing
I hate thinking that it still might
I hate knowing that no one cares


Details | Free verse | |

Long Distance

Jamie decides today will be the day 
we take off to Kansas. 
We've both dreamt of it, 
driving off to flat lands 
where we would be swept off, 
cackling, 
on our brooms to Oz. 

I laugh,
an unfunny laugh.
Chipped and cracked,
it tumbles
across the phone line. 

She laughs too,
an unfunny laugh,
and I stare at the phone 
my eyes shaking, 
clutching my life force 
of Camel Jade cigarettes. 
Dreaming suddenly of the Petroleum bridge 
because it is so black today 
and how I want to walk across 
in my addled bare feet 
like I did when we were seventeen 
and find her 
at end, 
long hair sardonically twirled around her
pinky finger
in the tattered red
sun stained flannel,
and her purple converse
tennis shoes.

She remarks 
that we wouldn't be able to reach off the 
ground anyway, 
as old and wide as we have gotten 
and that 
menthol cigarettes wouldn't 
probably be popular with 
midgets. 
And I agree with her, 
and laugh, 
and cry, 
and wonder 
what silver cylindrical dreams use 
when they move away 
a slow sail down the Allegheny 
a broken down old U-haul 
or perhaps, 
.........brooms and twisters 
farther than Kansas, farther than Oz. 


Details | Haiku | |

NEWSFLASH: toddler's tragic cry

a toddler crawls in
bank vault-- timed to close—door shuts--
darkness—tragic cry

mom calls nine one one
drill for four hours--door opens
mom hugs child tightly


Details | I do not know? | |

Young Heart

From my youth,
I knew no goodness 
Teach me His truth
So that I will meet success

I hope I'm making little progress

From my youth,
I knew very little at first
Teach me Your truth 
Or I'll remain in thirst

I thirst for His spirit - to renew my faithfulness

I have a nourished heart
But, evilness broke it apart
I had an energetic soul  
But agony took its toll 

And now I pray
To Him who mends us all
To save my young heart
From the fear of losing control...

Do I still have an innocent, 
Young heart? 


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye

Without care,
Without restraint,
Without plans,
Without worries,
Without tears,
Without regret,
Without him,
Without her,
Without fear,
Without hurt.
She leaves today…
With nothing.


Details | Free verse | |

Camille

Wake up to find its not just a dream, 
the morning rips a new wound of reality. 
Forever gone, Forever missing, 
All the regrets building up inside of me. 
I could have been better, 
cause you were the best, 
I love you with everything 
now you took your last breath. 
You went, happily 
and chased the birds over that rainbow bridge, 
I hope your watching from above c
ause when you left you took a part of my heart

...RIP My Beautiful Puppy. I Love You Camille Baby?


Details | Free verse | |

Posters on my Bedroom Wall

Culture club, Kajagoogoo and Wham
Just a few of those staring lifeless from my walls
As I sit petrified on my bed
With you standing threatening over me

No songs they've sung
Can absorb all that every word you say burns
But as they witness all you do to me
Less alone my mind bleeds

Once your gone
From his picture Boy George holds me for a second
He turns to say
There is a strength from not being the same

Tracy Ulman
Teams with Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders
They hold my hand and lead me from every thing you do
To a sanctuary filled with life and laughter

As you hide the evidence
Of your latest unpredictable rage
George Michael gently whispers
It does not have to be this way

Paul Young's reassurance
That what you do is not uncommon
Though very well intentioned
Doesn't help at all

Annie Lennox holds me in her arms
Shows me sweet dreams that help keep me alive
With every word she sings to me
Less and less the words you try to destroy me with I hear

Posters on my bedroom wall
Of people who don't know me at all
As they stood before the magazine shoot
They had no idea what their image would view


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Day That Changed My Life

*Dramatic Monologue*

It was a normal Thursday. I went to school, and was on my way home. But on the 
way, Adam, the guy I've been crushing on forever stopped to talk with me and he actually asked me to go to a movie tomorrow night, I accepted of course. I got in my car and drove home. When I walked up to the front door, it was open. My dad never leaves the door open. I walked in and called out, "Dad! Dad!" No answer. Then I look and on the couch I see my dad, lying there with three gun shots in his head, covered in blood. 
Almost too weak to walk, I then see my mother on the floor with a gunshot to the chest, also covered,covered in blood. Crying hysterically I went into my brother's room 
hoping he wouldn't be there. (He stayed home from school today because he was sick) 
But he was. He was there. And he looked just like my parents, expect he was shot the 
most. *Cries for a bit, then gathers herself together* Twelve times. TWELVE TIMES. 
Who would do this?! Who would do this to me?! To my family?! Why didn't I die with my 
family?! Why was I spared?! I shouldn't have talked to Adam. I shouldn't have. Why did 
I do that?! *Cries again, then a pause and continues* After that I was never the same. 
I was a different person. A different being. Because that was the day that changed my 
life.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Fallen Angel

Stephen Lewis RIP. Murdered 24-01-2009

FALLEN ANGEL 

Fallen angel, free to roam, 
Your soul hath gone to play.   
God took you in his loving arms, 
To heavens gates that day. 

Fallen angel, shining star, 
A brother, son and friend. 
Harshly taken from this world, 
Tho' you're with us to the end. 

Fallen angel spread your wings,   
In our hearts, your love, we keep. 
Your memory will shine on through,   
As we lay you down to sleep.   

Stephen Lewis RIP 

  A victim of the London culture of knife crime.  24-01-2009


Details | Verse | |

Baby

Never thought you’d make me leave Always thought that we would be together Don’t know how this can be Time was supposed to be forever But mother doesn’t want her baby As the baby cries Child tries to hide her tears As she dies inside I can’t show How the pains hurts so bad And even though I have people who care I don’t know how to share My tears ‘Cause no one wants this baby as the baby cries child tries to hide her tears As she dies inside People take me then bring me back I was too hard to handle Little girl pulled off track To move all her life And no one wants this baby ‘cause the baby cries Child tries to hide her tears As she dies inside Someone wants me Someone keeps me Someone will never give me back Someone meets me For the first time Someone loves me Love at first sight Someone wants this baby Even when she cries Child can share her tears And never die inside How can I express The gratitude I feel My life was a mess Until you came here Someone grew from this baby As she writes She writes about her pain So she doesn’t die inside
kassidi


Details | Rhyme | |

Yes, There Really Are Monsters

The content of this poem is semi-graphic, so please be aware of that before you 
read.......


Yes, There Really Are Monsters

Growing up as a child, I never wanted to sleep alone.
Fearful of the isolated darkness and mostly the unknown.
“Mommy is there monsters?” a question I would commonly ask.
“Only on Halloween my dear, the ones we see in masks”

Still not satisfied with her answer, I questioned her more.
Asking her the same old thing as I did the night before.
Frustrated and exhausted, she took me by my little hand.
Looking under my bed, in my closet; even the night-stand.

“So see my daughter the monsters are only in your head.”
“It’s time to get some sleep Stacy Lynn, now do as I have said.”
Respecting mommy's wishes; my little body trembling with fear.
Wishing the hour was morning, praying for “him” not to appear.

But as darkness faded, an uncomfortable silence fell about.
I could hear the monster stirring, preparing to come out.
Hoping the noises I heard, were my brothers fooling around.
Pulling covers tightly over my head; praying not to be found.

Footsteps getting closer, the monster is at the foot of my bed.
I hear his heavy breathing; this is not at all what mommy said.
Quietly lifting covers back, he lays down in the bed beside me. 
Touching, groping and mauling; covering my eyes so I can't see.

He took away my childhood and my trust and self-esteem.
A pleading child without a voice, invisible as it would seem.
"So yes my daughter there are monsters, everywhere we look."
Stating as I remembered my childhood and everything he took.


Details | I do not know? | |

Reflections

Old man, face wrinkled with age, moves slowly down bus, walking stick in shaky hand. Bus jolts, old man mutters. Kindly hand grabs arm. Fat lady, jolly face. Aunt Betty when he was young. Mirror reflections. Old man sits down wearily Woman in front, loaded with shopping, and two young children. One with runny nose, other chocolate covered face. Wife, children long ago. Mirror reflections. Old man gets off bus, walks down road. Lowered head, eyes sad. Places newly cut flowers by gravestones, three. Family killed in blitz. tears run down face. Mirror cracked.


Details | I do not know? | |

Childs Hell

My small pristine flower, crushed while yet a bud.
My young innocence stripped, left trampled in mud.
Walk away. Collect your cash, no emotion for me.
Little body bruised, torn with blood. Drugged blind, you do not see.
Daddy, why did you do it and why don’t you care?
You helped them shred me, then turned away and left me bare.
I am only a small child. I am too weak to fight back.
Tied to a dens table, men’s eyes, hands grope, and lips smack.
Manhood against young maiden, tiny body burned by the rope.
This, a grand hellish party with drink and much dope.
Why do you abuse me, and just what have I done?
You began this cruel nightmare when I was but one.
Four years spread like thin butter, passed like a hat.
Left to fend for myself, a small, hungry, dirty stray cat.
For the rest of my life, I am damaged because of your sin.
Thirty one now, still, life is a night terror in which there are men!

                                                                                       Summer Gratias


Details | Free verse | |

Baby Girl Of Mine

I wrote this to help someone special to me:

I lost my daughter today.
Sadness threatens to overwhelm me.
Grief consumes my every thought.
 
Pain fills my entire body.
The words send a shock to my heart.
My legs fail me as I fall to the floor
Knowing it was to come,
Realizing it is in God’s will,
Nothing makes it easier to deal with.
 
My heart crumbles under the weight
I know all the pieces will never be found.
A wound created that will never heal.
A constant reminder of what is gone.
 
Desire to become a forever family.
Hope of taking away too much pain.
Dreams of her eyes filling with child like joy.
Plans of everyday growing up and learning
All cause to mourn, all things I won't get to again see.
 
I long for the comfort others might have,
Joy her in the arms of someone who truely loves her,
Peace in knowing she is being properly cared for.
The knowledge that we will be together again.
 
I lost my daughter today.
There are no kisses to brighten my soul.
No grave to visit and seek refuge at.
The rest of the world will never notice,
For the daughter I lost was never really mine.
 
She is alive somewhere else 
Not by my choice but by theirs
For it is not I that gets to kiss her good night
I lost my daughter today at yet it is like the world does not care
Really she was more mine than theirs... 
 
I lost my daughter today...
I lost my daughter today...
Don't worry baby girl we will be together ....
someday..!


Details | Free verse | |

I'LL SMILE 4 U

Stroll through the Illest Empire
So much heat feeling like we’re living in the fire
But we’re living under fire
Tell me how many shots must it take before my loved ones are crying at my own wake
Its time for a break from sad eyes I’ve seen grown men cry
It hurts to tell a loved one good-bye
It’s the same reason why they died
Hearts just too full of pride
Mothers praying their young’n wont be a victim of a homicide
Too many drive-bys blood shed for a block you really can’t call mine
Wishing we could turn back time
High off of nickels’ and dimes
Making moves to boost your grind looking for hope
But the hustle got us in a head choke
Don’t blame me for acting crazy cause this how the streets made me and you
To watch our back and throw bows and cuss
Cause you got to be tough when times are rough
I know your asking when will enough be enough
And truth is I don’t know but this is how it goes down
But if I make it out will you smile for me now

So many families struggling with poverty
I don’t judge cause that use to be me
Watching mom come home late
Barley any food on our plate
So young and life we already hate
Praying God bring us something great
My clothes were cheap imitates and kids called you on them for being fake
Knowing mom bust her ass to provide
But all your knock offs you begin to hide
Ashamed of what you own
I know how you feel I been there too
I see mothers walking there kids to school
And the walk is far when you cant afford a car
Mom hoping one day you’ll be a star
I know about being next to poor
Your local neighborhood liquor market is your grocery store
Wishing you didn’t have to go through that living off of food stamps
Cube the neighborhood is a trap but we’ll all be free
So smile for you and me

Even 2pac said smile for me
This isn’t how its always going to be unless you let it be
In our different way we’re all a G
Cause we’re trying to make it straight legit
Whatever your hustle never quit but don’t lose yourself in it
Cause you still got a long ways to go
Still got a long time to grow
Use what you know to get by or you wont survive
Remember to always keep your dreams alive
Whatever it is just do it and never try
The limit is the sky so keep your heads held high
And when you come to a hard road just always know nothing can keep you down
You’ll be able to come back around
So give yourself a chance
And I’ll smile for you now

JUNE ‘06
B.K.M.jr


Details | Lyric | |

Glo

Written September 11, 2013


Well I was just a boy
Living down in San Fransisco
In the city by the bay
And I wanted more from life
Than my childhood could give
Every time I crossed a bridge
The whole town burned to the ground

And then one day
I met you down by the blood bank
In that sketchy part of town
Where the hipsters turn around
And drugs roam free
Just like you and just like me
Just like how we used to be

You are my archangel
You sing to me, Gabriel
You tell me where to find
The gravel on the street
And you hold me to the ground
When I hear Peter call for me
And the lights rush to the scene

As I lie here in the alley
Sweet dreams of crystal valleys
Waltz deep within my mind
As the canvas fades to black
And the vultures sweep below
Much like falling dominoes
Set in motion by the glo


Details | Ballad | |

I saw them once!

It was monday afternoon and a cool breeze parted my hair like a blooming flower
Long as my hair was it looked magnificently golden as it shown with power

Sweet summer sweat gleamed off of my skin as I ran through the field
Endless energy and spirit my presence could wield

Just in front of me skipping as she pleased. 
My childhood soul mate the goddess Genivieve.

Hand in hand we danced and giggled without a care in the world
My first crush was a tomboyish little girl

Silly as it may sound but the truth is this
She made my heart jump and my legs twitch

As the sun wound down into eve
The colors in the sky was a masterful weave

Just as the orange and purple sky grew darker with the passing hour
Angels flew after the fading gold tower

I knew she saw them too! So we talked with smile and gleam
Could we have shared the same wonderful dream?

I knew then on that we were supposed to be
Though now she is much more than a memorie

Every now and again I find myself looking at that same setting
Imagining the girl I once new at our childhood wedding

Now she sits at those same gates and stares into my eyes
while I sit here and blubber and cry

That is not only what she does for me during my time
Her hands steal these keys and formulate rhymes
                    (David Welch 10 years old)


Details | Lyric | |

I Had a Dream





                                      I Had a Dream

                         I had a dream. Oh I had a dream.
                         I sat in a chair in despair thinking
                       of the love and memory of my mother.
     In my dream I built a stairway to heaven with tears to hug her.
              Halfway with out a sound or word in the silent skies
                              an angel appeared upon me.
                        It was a precious and beautiful site.
Oh! I said could you for me ask God to cross a rose and lilac together
to create a bush with large clusters of white, purple, and pink flowers
                             and the fragrance of memory
   And give it long green stems so it can stand free and gracefully.
        Also ask him to it a name, a special name ‘ Kollock ‘
          and let it represent never forgotten love and memories.
                       In my dream God did this for me,
                     and gave it to my mother as a gift from me






Details | Free verse | |

Where Darkness Clings

Darkness clings were light doesn't linger Breath struggles were air is depleted I'm siting by the window staring at the waves of sorrow, forgiveness and love That crash in to are lives like title waves crash into buildings And down the way fair away children play in tall Fields were corn is made its so sad to know that inasens will never make it past 13 In a world were childhood fantasy's cant only run so deep And its scare to see how evil people can be when they justify it by how life treats them Darkness clings were light cant be Clinging like a leach feasting till the hart beat of the world is deceased And its so sad to think worms can drown in puddles created by cloud games And why is it we get so lonely at night Fare from childhood yet to young to sleep alone Is it fear of the unknown drawing us close Or human nature to want to pull the covers close And why dose sympathy seem to control all that we do When sympathy cant do nothing for no one I hate to think of the day when night is all i see A starlight world that can look so bleak and gray What dose the universe hold for lonely souls traveling down broken rodes I guess well never know Why darkness clings were light cant be


Details | Free verse | |

A HARSH REALITY

Too many children have had to grow without ever having a parent to know.
Ran through the foster parent system,with no one ever asking them.
And what occurs when they get some bad ones,beatings,isolation,sexual assaults done.
Then growing up and living with what occured,their conscience telling them this is absurd.
So they go through life being afraid and believing that those who hurt them must be obeyed.
It truly is a sick circle they must live in,and how this affects others is truly a sin.
So we must try to get them through this and most times it will be hit and miss.
But someone must be there for them,to ask those crucial questions where and when.
For if they never release that pain inside,they will always surely run and hide.
So "PLEASE" dear LORD! Set there evil free,and when they've released their pain could we 
then work on me.


Details | Narrative | |

All I Wanted

For years
I have always cried myself to sleep,
But that started after those bullies' words
Began to creep
Into my mind,
My optimism and happiness had become blind.
Making me think that I was always alone.
I seen how I was bratty and seemed to be happy,
But inside,
My inner sadness resides.
The tears that I cried
Were all about me wanting or needing
Someone to be by my side.
Every night
I wished for a less lonelier life.
Nobody could come over or sleep over sometimes
And I would be doing nothing
Except for thinking
About my life's meaning.
A close friend was all I've been asking for:
Someone who would talk to me everyday,
Even when the sky's grey.
Someone who would listen to me carefully
And comfort me later on in the day.
All I wanted
Was a true friend.


Details | Rhyme | |

Just Like Daddy Used To ,,,For abused children and formerly abused people everywhere

Don’t you remember when you were young,
I’d assume you recall tons of fun.
Snowmen, running, and baking in the sun?
Well, don’t you wish that were for everyone.
Now time’s come, and memories are gone,
And we all have a rather bitter song,
Playing in the back of our heads out of tune,
At least we do, at least we do.
Now I don’t know what a mommy is,
And daddy, he is in an abyss,
Probably much sweeter than mine,
At least he actually has some light.
Now here I am laying next to you,
And you stroke me with love and then with abuse,
I remember the feelings from before,
You ever came to knock on my door.
Back when daddy said he would kill me,
When mommy said she wished I would die,
And daddy pushed me down and walked away,
Can mommy love me even if it is a lie?
Cause mommy left and daddy left, and now you’re leaving too,
You’ll bruise me, beat me, hurt me, kick me, but you’ll be back, and I can count on you.



I wrote this poem with a special friend in mind who has recently undergone traumatic things from an abusive childhood and many abusive relationships. Also, for all of my friends who were abused as children, and for any child suffering from abuse now or ever. May you hold strong through it. It can all be over if you let it. I did, and I love you


Details | I do not know? | |

Slaughter

My tears flood me, my mind boggles, and my fears are real.
I see blood gushing, her head severed, death unveiled.
Fear of my life, fear in my mind, I was three.
He lift his hand, machete clutched tight, it was daddy.
A quick swoosh, dead silence, mommy froze.
Her body fluttered, her blood spurted out, she groaned.
He looked at me, spotted with blood, his eyes gloat.
Dropped the machete; picked up his gun; pointed to his throat.
A loud bang, I jumped, he fell.
I now realize both my parents are dead.


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Name Is Misery

Your name is misery
here to haunt me in my dreams
In my waking hours and in my sleep
Nightmares and worst fears 
of course you can make them come true
For

Your Name Is Misery

You are the demon 
That called himself a dad
You are my illness, my shame, guilt and pain
I cannot shake you 
I try to run but you always catch me
I try to hide and you find me

Your Name Is Misery

You are the cause of my pain
I used to blame myself 
But lately I have found I am not the one to blame
I was a child
Innocent and helpless
when you took my dignity, my life my sanity

Your Name Is Misery

You have presented yourself in many forms
The school counselor who tried to violate me
The Father figure who molested me
The strangers who forced themselves on me
A gang paid to rape me
A Fiance who beat me 
And killed the child inside me
The voices that torment me

Your Name Is Misery

You have so many faces 
It would take my whole life to paint a picture of you
And quite frankly 
I don't want to waste my time on you
I just want to forget you

Your Name Is Misery

I wish I could get away from you
Break away from your grasp
Take away the control you have over me
I hate being under your spell
I hate the pain you constantly cause me 
I hate crying because of you
I hate the darkness you bring with you
Most of all 
I hate you

Your Name is Misery

That is no lie
There is no mistake 
You bring havoc, drama, and chaos 
All the things I despise 
I don't want you near me
I don't even want to look you in the eye

Your Name is Misery 

I am afraid of you 
I can't stand you 
most of all 
I am mad at you 
for you have made my life a living hell
But no more 
I am cutting you out 
I have never wanted you around
It is high time 
I got rid of you 
It's time to stand my ground
I am going to take you down
I don't need you
I never want to see you 
Get out of my life 
For I am not going to let you bring me down
You are not welcome here 

Your Name Is Misery

By: Jean Shular


Details | Free verse | |

Silver

Joaquin: paint-besotted at sixteen.

The color silver was your favorite --
it had the craved-for, biting glint
of a dagger dizzying your brain,
twisting as it mixed and chopped
your few surviving thoughts,
which floated, glittering,
in an icy silver mist.

Your classic, sculpted nose,
bearing a single dot of silver
smaller than a dime, expelled
the smell you struggled to breathe in.

And your eyes drowned in a sea of silver.


Details | I do not know? | |

When a house isnt a home

out of the car, and up the walk,
i go to the door and unlock the 
lock

loud voices through the  door
empties my heart  a little more

they yell about money, they 
yell about love
they yell about who goes down 
below or up above

she calls him crazy, he says 
"just maby"
he tells her he wants to go
she starts to cry and say she 
didnt know

then she starts to beg for 
forgivness
she wants to start over
but nobody really wants to 
relive this


i pull out the key and realize
now,
how things have to be 

this is when my house isnt a 
home to me                  





Details | Free verse | |

A Stick of White Noise

Kaleidoscoped visions
Rose-petaled eyes
Turbulent decision
To kiss the demise

Your family is calling you
Your sister wants to play
Your cat wants to be fed
Your conscience is smoking astray

Metallic sheets blind her eyes
Silence drains her sought
Happy smiles and frowns
Turn to blank thoughts

Goodbye dollbaby
Your mommy doesn't want you
Goodbye imagination
Her nightmares are renewed

The little girl is all grown down
Alone and stoned, deaf and regime
Her little stick friend
Is white noise to her dreams.


Details | Rhyme | |

All of This Education and No Summer Vacation

All of this education
And yet no real
Summer vacation.
I recall all of my
K-12 years 
9-12 especially
That was the essay
Question that I often
Hated. Where did you
Go this summer?
I didn't leave Monroe.
Hearing that question
Over and over again
Each year filled my heart
With drear and tears 
Wanted to fall
But I had to be tough
Hold those tears up
Build my imagination
And lie about the places
That I wanted to see
Across the nation.
I write I went from
Sea to shining sea
To see historical beauty
Of Washington, D.C.
To view the presidential 
Library of JFK in Boston,
Massachussetts,
I was truthfully speaking
When I was in downtown
New Orleans eating po-boys
And tasting bananas foster.
I went back to a lie
To the city of brotherly love,
Philadelphia,
Named by one of my favorite
Scientific statesmen,
Ben Franklin.
I want to travel past
The southern region
From the East coast
To the West coast 
For real instead of 
Telling a story.
I've worked hard
To gain an education
I want to travel the
Nation on a summer vacation.
I will say today that
I have all this education
and no summmer vaction
I want it to change
Starting this year.
My traveling from
Sea to shining 
Sea is near.

wrote 11-13-10


Details | I do not know? | |

Memories

Sitting there in utter emptiness,
I stare ahead in amazement,
At the remnants of a place,
Filled with memories of a glorious past.
And as i stand there all alone,
Past Memories flood into me,
Stepping back on the stones of time,
Back to a time when life was wild and free.

There as i stand amidst it all,
I see my old class come back alive.
So many familiar faces, 
Smiling back at me,
And shouting cries of welcome. 
I see all my old friends,
Some going about their daily business while others gossip.
And there among them i see myself as i used to be,
Laughing and joking around so carefree,
Knowing not what the future holds.

Standing there engulfed in my past
Seeing so many happy faces, 
Of those whom i held dear to my heart,
I shed tear in pain, which trickles down my face and falls on to my palm.
Realization flows back to me once more,
The pain of it all embracing me,
Like a Venomous Sting,
That penetrates my veins,
Darkening the depths of my heart 
Where my memories lay, 
Locked up for evermore.


Details | Concrete | |

Daddy

Daddy, why did you hurt me so very long ago?
I still remember the day you wouldn't let me go
I know it happened more than once, but it is done
When you tried it again, I wasn't old enough to run
The hurt goes on Daddy, through all the years of my life
You don't know how hard it is sometimes to be alive!
Just looking at father's day cards brings me tears
And Mommy does she know what you did
How do you find a card that isn't full of glory?
To send to someone who never said he was sorry
Daddy, you don't know the pain you,ve made in me
When you raped me that day, I was no longer free
Free to be a child- to be like other girls and boys
I'll never be the same as I was that day,
the day you took my virginity away
I'll never understand why you did that to me
I was "Daddy's little girl" don't you see?
I never dreamed that you could hurt me so
I thought you loved me, didn't you know
many years have come and gone so fast
I know I'm not supposed to be living in the past
but daddy, the hurt you caused me will never be past
not until the breath in me is the last
I guess God really wanted me to do his will
Daddy, please daddy,
you never said you're sorry for the crime you did!
I'll try to go on, a survivor I'll be;
by giving my love to my children 
warning them protecting them and their children
teaching them where it is wrong to be touched
even by someone you love so very much
why did you hurt me so? did you have it planned?
or was it something done to you in your past
that triggered your feelings for me at the last
daddy, I hope one day that you see how much you hurt me
and then say, please forgive me
but until that day, I guess I'll go on_ _ _
writing things like this one after one
hoping a little comfort I'll give someone hurting
just really trying to live
someone trying to heal the hurt, Like Me


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Mommy Please

   Oh mommy please, don't hit me no more,
my head is still bleeding and my body's so sore.
   
Oh mommy please, I'll try to be good,
and do all the things that a small child should.
  
 Oh mommy please don't scream and don't yell,
I promise I'll tell them that I only fell.
 
  Oh mommy please don't start drinking  tonight,
and I'll be real quiet and stay out of sight.
  
 Oh mommy please,  can't you see that I'm crying?
My insides are knotted and I feel like I'm dying.
 
  Oh mommy please, what did I do wrong?
I won't whine anymore, I'll show you I'm strong.
  
 Oh mommy please, mommy why can't you see
all that I want is for you to love me?


Details | Narrative | |

An Old Photo

That still fresh old photograph of you
astride a spotted pony, bare feet
dangling as limply as your torn dress:
the background was a high veranda,
cool green trimmed with gingerbread.

A small boy sat the animal with you --
two solemn and handsome children
upon a well-fed pony, photographed
by an itinerant in the thirties --
the time frozen as long as the picture
or our fading memories of it may last.

The boy, our brother,
did little in his forty years;
but now, we see his boy's eyes,
soft, liquid, serious, sad,
no hint of smile about them;
we weep his loss.

And you, sister:
alert, protective, girl's face
set to fend off the world --
cast so early in your role
as the family glue
holding us all together.


Details | I do not know? | |

World we live in

Down the street there was a man killed today,
In this house a little boy ran away,
A funny world we live in?

In this alley a gang raped a young teen,
Down this walk way,people never heard the scream,
A funny world we live in?

Under this cardboard a Vietnam vet sleeps,
Down this road a crazed killer creeps,
A funny world we live in?

In this bed a child is born this day,
Do you want him to grow in a world this way?
Not a funny world we live in?


Details | Blank verse | |

But You Didn't

I thought you’d want to play with me, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d let me sit on your knees and read the comics with you, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to color with me, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to take a walk, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d hug me when I was scared, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to go fishing, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to ride bikes, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to play ball, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to help me pick the new puppy out, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to catch fireflies with me, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to watch T.V. with me, so I asked But you didn’t I thought you’d want to play checkers with me, so I asked But you didn’t I got older, and I thought you’d want to attend my wedding, so I asked But you didn’t You thought I knew you loved me, so you asked me to come home from Iraq safely But I didn’t


Details | Free verse | |

high school struggles

i dont hate you, i dont dislike you,
i love you, but lately all we do is fight,
i wish we would have never started high school, all it causes is strife,
its pushed us apart, were no longer attatched at the heart,
im getting so tired of praying for a miracle, so when i decide to speak my part,
i just know my friends they will act like they got shot, there troubeled souls need help to depart, there hearts full of backstabbing sin, that place were i used to be, they ripped it out in there callow sense of shallowness,


Details | Free verse | |

Stolen Petals

Little girls gotta grin,
bruised legs
shaved skin
red burns
frozen like a mannequin.
bowing to her audience
applauding her commence
calling her an on-core
little girl so heart sore
pouring her life down
upon the dirty floor.
crowds got an uproar
raping her like a new whore
petals, petals surround this girl
weeping, screaming so eye sore
hearts been ripped off its stem
laying alone in guilty flem
helpless, broken,
little girl torn,
all thats left now are her thorns.


Details | Free verse | |

Truth or Acting 10-13-08

im all alone...
yet i have a multitude of friends
and loved ones surrounding me...
its depressing, really,
the life i lead.
family fighting...
friends fighting...
everyone fighting...
they hide it all so well,
the pain they're always in.
the pain they've been in
for so long they don't remember the last time they
weren't. They're like actors
and actresses, the way they hide it so well...
unless you knew what they're
going through, it's like they're
leading perfect lives...but they
aren't. They once did but they don't now and probably never will...
it's depressing, really.
the life i lead.
the lives they lead.
depressing...


Details | Free verse | |

Web wise

Web wise

The fear drops from its light brown wings; 
this is not home; at least not for a bird. 
Little sparrow flaps its wings in madness; 
flaps them so hard. Living room, staircase,
it is humming past your mute chair.
But how can you help, you cannot locate 
your own way out of this golden web. 

=© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar 


Details | Free verse | |

Willow

Weeping Willow tree, 
wave gently over me, 
hide me from the breeze.

I wish to serve cake, peppermint tea, 
Delighted you munch so happily 
no other place, I would rather be..
then sheltered in wispy custody.


Details | Blank verse | |

OUR HOUSE MAID'S DAUGHTER

I looked one more time at the scar
on her pretty forehead.
Our house-maid’s sweet little daughter.
She is just four years old.

Endured many scares and black scars
along with mother, so bold
facing tantrums of sot-father.
She is just four years old.

Today came she with news to share.
With puerile fervor told
“Becomes bride my father’s sister!”
She is just four years old.

“He is as strong as a wild boar
good groom; not a drunkard.”
Shocked; saw those deeper inner scars.
She is just four years old.



Details | Free verse | |

Past Memories: Haunted Future

Do you sit there and feel like
We are on top of the monkey bars?
Do you close your eyes
And feel my arms around you?
Do you play guitar and remember
How you tried (and failed) to teach me?
Do you hug your pillow at night
And think of how you held me?
Do you remember how bad I was when
You said you'd leave? 
Do you feel guilty for promising to
Stay by my side in the darkness? 

Because I've brought your monkey bars
Just to sit on them. 
And close my eyes and remember the
way you wrapped your arms around me. 
I lightly strum my guitar
And picture you doing the same. 
I hug my pillow at night and
Try to remember you. 
And how hard I cried when you said
That you were moving away. 
And sit by the phone every night
Waiting for you to return to me.


Details | Free verse | |

Cry me a river

Cry me a river 
Build me a bridge
I cannot remember
Which ditch I did dig

I am here in the present
Yet live in the past
It’s all just a blur
Moving so fast

I have lived through the storm
I have fell to my knees 
But yet I do not know 
The importance of these

Send me a message
Show me the light
Take heed in my warning
I live in the night

Darkness is coming
I am fading from sight
The gate is now closing
Now comes the fright

I am lost and confused
So poor and confused
So beaten and broken
With no end in sight

Cry me a river
Build me a bridge
I cannot remember 
Which ditch I did dig


Details | I do not know? | |

Not good enough?

What am I, not good enough,
doing all this terrible stuff.
You put me down to much, I always ask why,
It's like I hit the floor, and then I cry.
So should I pick myself up again,
trying to erase all of these sins.
You always push me away,
but what if I want it my way.



DONT READ NOT FINISHED


Details | Free verse | |

Enough

When you make me cry
does it make you feel good?
Do you live for my tears
my pain and my terror?
Why does my misery give you pleasure? 
Who sits there laughing at their daughter's agony?
Every time I think you're at your worst
you find a way to hurt me more.
So I try and I try to be better.
I must have done something wrong.
I finally woke up and saw the truth.
I'll never be good enough
never try hard enough
to make you proud enough.


Details | Ode | |

MY ODE TO ANNIE

She always had the brightest smile,
one could see it from a mile
and Annie knew how beautiful it was!


She had the smallest heart,
and when it gave...it was the biggest;
Annie gave more, not less!


Her portrait hangs on the front wall color sage,
her joyful image as innocent as a babe...
I look up and meet those radiant eyes! 


My ode to Annie on a Fall evening with crackling fire
I had protected her from darkness and dire...
even when the world's doors would have opened up!


Oh, did I mention the time she lost her front tooth on the school bus?
She came home crying, running from every kid who heard the fuss...
Annie found it later in her winter coat and buried in the backyard!


She never knew her dad and wished had one,
but Annie saw that father in me and thought I was awesome...
she looked at me with tenderness and really understood!


My ode to Annie on a Fall evening thirty years after,
when this thought stroke me and made me a writer...
forever remembering that heart which changed me! 


My ode to Annie whose life reflects mine,
my ode to Annie...a young soul so divine;
my ode to remember her until I'll have breath!


Details | Free verse | |

Forest of Fields

Dodging Whispering shadows,
meeting golden eyes
peering from the hallows.
Dancing with the late birds cry.
Jumping from star to star,
relishing the untainted light.
Wading in the fields, ceaseless so far.
Creasing with the moon out of sight,
casting a graceful light.
A sad tune whispers on the wind,
from a forest of fields.
How far will you go for that sad tune?
Speaking of a broken heart dreadfully sinned,
of a lesson learned much too soon.
Turn back child of innocence!
Turn back to the fields of sleep,
away from the forest of tears
shattered with cracks so deep.
Run from that sad tune!
Bound to your future of mirrors,
shield your heart,
small child,
from the fruit of the forest of fields
that ripen with the slaughter of innocence!
Before your heart has a chance
to crack, to break
echoing in the lonely silence of the forest of fields.


Details | I do not know? | |

Fragments Of Life

Fragments and crumbs of life, all the little pieces.
Distant yet echoed through the listless years.
Grinding all emotion together in pain and love
and the melting begins to twist all the 
emotions into a spiral of hopelessness.
The fragment awakes.
and i find i missed the years of hope.
Hissing like snakes
tied around my neck like a rope!
Desolate and drenched in despair.
but a new hope enters with a different air.
Fragments entwined 
to form what's inside.


Details | I do not know? | |

A long line of scallywags

I love my son he's always chipper
he's my scallywag and I'm the skipper
and the apple does'nt fall far from the tree
he's menatly challenged just like me!

and even though his dad's a zero
"hey dad your my hero!"
having fun is all he's wishing
"hey dad ya wanna go fishin?"

lost the house a home we have not
"hey dad looky what I caught!"
no business financal ruin we sank
"aww dad you can have my piggy bank"

rich kids need toys to have fun
"love you dad!" "love you son!"
think no toys would make him sad?
such a good boy "your the best dad!"

now I know I won't always live forever
"hey dad we always be together?"
"no worries son just stay chipper
you'll have your own scallywag and you'll be the skipper!"

by Captain Mike Harris and his son


Details | Crystalline | |

Crying child

By:  S.Jagathsimhan Nair

One of the horrible sounds to hear
Is the wailing of a child from far


Contest:” Sounds of a cry “ of  Michael J. Falotico


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye was the last thing I'd do You were taken from our lives far too soon My world has changed now that I don't have you Your eyes shone like stars, your smile the moon Your voice was like music straight from Heaven You taught me how to play Monopoly And the piano when I was seven We danced around the room and sang loudly We laughed so hard that we would almost cry We were just kids, so happy and care free Then you were gone and I didn't know why I couldn't understand how it could be Tears fell from my eyes as they carried you And saying goodbye was all I could do


Details | I do not know? | |

I Remembered My 7th Grade Locker Partner

I talked to my sister today.
It's been over eight years.
The first word that she wrote
began the flood of tears.

I said to her simply ''Hey''
she answered simply ''Hey''.
The saddest part through all of this
was we didn't know what to say.

I told her I was crying
and I just couldn't stop.
She said I shouldn't waste my tears...
they continued still to drop.

I saw my sister clearly 
as she was when we were teens.
With only one year between us
she doesn't know what this means.

Nobody thought we were sisters.
They knew we were best friends.
We even shared a locker...
who'd know that's where it ends? 

She fought to leave the horror
of what our lives became.
She thought she wanted freedom....
She never was the same.

Her life became so twisted
between foster homes and pain.
I wish I could've helped her
but, I was hurting just the same.

I told her I was crying
and I just couldn't stop.
She said I shouldn't waste my tears...
they continue still to drop.


Details | Free verse | |

I will leap, cling and protect

I remember leaping through there air 
and clinging to you.
I honestly cant remember why.
I just remember it was to protect you,
to be there for you,
to comfort you .
I was your big sister then 
Now I am nothing more to you 
than a voice on the phone,
a thousand miles away.
I want to leap through the air again 
cling to you 
be there for you 
comfort you again 
This time I don’t even know why.
You shut me out of your life long ago.
Made it perfectly clear no more. 
No more leaping
               clinging
               or protecting you.
I know I have made some mistakes 
I know we have had our fights 
and yes I know how much you hate me now.
But know this 
I will always leap through the air 
cling to you,
protect you 
be there for you 
to comfort you 
even if I have to do it from miles away 
For I was your big sister then 
and I am your big sister now and always.


Details | Epic | |

6/30/06

As I sit on the kitchen counter, I 
eat my cereal. Savoring every crunch
I watch the phone and wait for it to ring
waiting for someone to call, even a perfect
stranger. Even a perfect stranger. Trust someone
to talk to. Someone to share what's going wrong. My
heart beats with pain. The blood runs cold but hot with 
anger. I wish to scream at the top of my lungs and release 
the agony, But must stay quite as a mouse. I keep to myself.
My hopes that are false and my dreams that will never come true.
I'm lost in my own mind and train of thoughts filled with worries that
can never be told and cries that can never be heard. Smiles are shown
but never true. Every promise is made is another broken wish. Every word
you say is nothing but stalling pain. Sadness is the most feeling felt. It wears
like a sweater on a hot summer day. You just want to rip it off and throw it on 
the ground. I must question everything more now than ever. I sit in a white chair
in a white room. I love this room. It reminds me of purity, a free soul. Anything you
dream can come true. If you dream hard enough and wish upon the right star. I walk
around the rest of this seven room house and I am reminded back to reality of cries and
lies, the tears and the fears. Back into a world of having to win. When smiles are rare to see
and I love yous are no longer from the heart. Gazing out the window, I have come to known 
that this world is made up of men who want sex and money, women that dance in videos to 
make a dime. Young boys hustling and ladies walking the corners. Church crowds have gotten 
smaller and cults have grown. I look back in the mirror reflect. Recently I've made bad 
decisions that just aren't me. I remise about the past and realize that it's time to let 
go. That it's my path and I'm on my own. A struggle it will be, but a blade where
I can not depend. Sorry to my sharp little friend but I hope we never have to
meet again


Details | I do not know? | |

Judgment

Punish me for being who I am
Its only my fault
I asked to be born
Just so I could ruin your life

Judge me everyday at school
I know I dress funny
Because of me my parents are broke
Because everything I do causes them strife

Tell me that im ugly
As you tell me nothing I don’t already know
I hear it everyday from the kids that play
My back is used to that knife

Tell me that im nothing
Ill never be loved  cause im a lost cause
Lock me up toss me aside
Ill sit alone with my fife 


Details | I do not know? | |

a mother no more

i once had a mother 
and a sister 
and a brother

her head was twisted
she wished for death
and barely missed it
 
she hated her life
 all she wanted was  true love 
and to become a wife

she tried soo hard  to end it 
but her spirit failed to split
   ************

they sent me away
i can still remember
grandma coming and helping 
me pack that day

As i alone walked to the car
i looked back
not understanding the distance 
so far

she shut the door
and i knew in that moment
she was my mother no more

and in that moment let my 
mind know
its time for all of us to just let 
go

months later i got a strange call
and i knew
sometimes rehab cant fix em` 
all

To: my real mom
Whom has placed this horrible 
curse I call life upon me


Details | Epic | |

Living Her Life

She sees the pains,
Which her native folk have gained.
She changed from a little girl
To someone who has always had the potential
To change her own little personal inner world.
As a child she never went through
What some other children of her people
Had went through themselves.

She used to never knew how the roots
Of all her people’s issues
Were and are so controversial.
Blessed was she, as a very young child,
For not knowing fully all the reasons why.

Blessed that she is and will always be
Full of feeling, and always quietly wondering “Why?”, 
Now she is filled with new knowledge and a developing sense of wisdom 
Within her own individual mind.
She is now what she had always
Envisioned and imagined before, since her elementary days.
She is (“I am...”) not entirely that same little girl anymore.
She is now one of the many of that particular kind.

Within her imagination is a longed 
Wanting of finally revealing 
The truths she has discovered and
How her people must change for the better.
Throughout her whole life, which she’s lived through so far,
She maintains a heart filled with feelings, 
A mind filled with knowledge
And a slight emotional immaturity as representation
That her inner child self is still alive on the inside.

Her inner and past child self (who was different from all the rest,
But was also similar to them when at their best).
Never truly knew how far she’d come in life.
(As of right now and forever into the future)
How she has grown and maintained herself
Is how she had made that (her) inner voice in her head and 
Had also long ago already acknowledged her true self.

She still stands in her own believing faith and faith in herself
And her lack of prejudice is what makes her naive thinking
Make her own days in her life far brighter than what others say
As they discourage her from doing 
Or trying to pursue something grand and part of a divine plan.
Even after times and tribulations involving doubting tremble.

Blessed she is for being so whole in her own presumed thoughts,
Blessed she is for logical thinking based on emotion and feelings.
Blessed she will always be, for Christ himself said to a woman
(who was suffering from something for more than 12 years), 
“Your faith is what made you whole.”
Now she thinks...
“Grateful and blessed I am, to the point of tears of joy and sorrow of how I used to doubt.
I now forever know what my life will be like beyond tomorrow.”


Details | Free verse | |

I remember her well

I remember her well...

She was the one with the different skin
She was a quiet child, so small and thin
She had the warmest smile,                ....but then

I was shy and didn't know
what a lonely place this school had been...



I would look her way and shyly grin
Her eyes downcast, ...tho' I wish she had known
that she was beautiful, through and through  
yet, didn't know just what to do      
or was that just a poor excuse? ....way back then?

She was shy   
so was I
                          So I didn't make the move...

She sat apart in the crowded room
Nibbled her lunch so often, alone 
Her eyes, dark and brown, would look around
I wanted to make it alright,  somehow ..........  
  
                                                       ....but then
I was ten, and too timid
And didn't make the move....

I would smile, rather weakly, across the crowded room
But too afraid to take the chance, too shy to make a stand
She was the one, with a different skin
And had no friend to hold her hand

                                         ......Oh, how I wish that I had been

I see it all so clearly now
Shame engulfs me thinking how
I could have made a difference then
It makes me very sad to know...
I could have been her only friend
                                             .... But didn't make the move

I've taught my child to be a friend
No matter who, or shade of skin
No matter if a bit too shy   
And no excuse to turn an eye             

But then.....

I still remember her well....
She was the one with the different skin





For Nathan's Contest:


Details | Free verse | |

Your Only Gift

I hate you dad.
I lied when I said I didn't. 
I lied when I said I was ok.
I thought that I could keep it together,
But my strength wavers.
I tried to be the bigger person,
But I am just a child.
All the scars,
I have to bear,
Weigh heavy.
I watch other little girls with their fathers,
And I envy them. 
They don't know how lucky they are.
All I wanted was your love.
But you gave me nothing but pain.


Details | I do not know? | |

Just The Way It Is

I tried to wake you up today
Like I always do
All I did was try to care for you
Like little girls should.

Mummy, mummy
Please don't die
I need you to be here
By my side
Brothers always crying
Because he doesn't understand
That mummy only leaves us
Because living makes her sad

The whole street 
Thinks your crazy
As you try to hide
The scars that made you
Your whole damn life

Why cant you just forget
Why cant you leave
The past alone

The doctors didn't care
The police were never there
As the screams of a little girl
Spilled out
Into an air of madness

Watch me bleed
I learned this from you

You were my devil
Stealing my innocence
Stuttering words I'll never forget
"Your Nothing"

Your eyes cut deep
As the knifes are aimed at me
Your love was a weapon
Puncturing my heart
You broke me
I'm a wreck.


Details | I do not know? | |

Before I Go

Does it make you happy?
Does drowning in the sea of sadness
Take your breath away
Just for a moment 
If you could see
The spinning stop
And notice the world around you

But you never will.

Do you believe your own lies?
Because it's all you've got
Is life worth living?
When you forgot 
Yesterday.

Will you remember?
What you did to me
In twisted dreams
Or will the alcohol sedate you?
From all you see


Details | Classicism | |

Noone Will Ever Take Your Place

Everyday I listen to songs that remind me of you,
 I miss you so much I feel lost I dont even know what to do
 This is the hardest thing I ever had to go threw.
I would give anything just to have you back, 
But I know thats not gonna ever happen so I dont know how to act.
Now your miles & miles away,
 If I had one wish it would be for you to stay. 
I just hope your happy and okay.
Since I cant tell you I love you to your face
 I'm writing you this poem to let you know 
our memories noone can erase and in my life
 noone will ever take your place.


Details | I do not know? | |

Every night

Every night
A scared little girl cries herself to sleep
With nothing of her own to keep

Every night
She prayed to God
Hoping he wont come home tonight

Every night
Is another bruise
As she bites her lip, trying not to cry
Because she knows if he see’s one tear
She would be even closer to dieing

Every night 
As tears run down her face
She knows this abuse will go on and on
And never stop

Every nigh
When she tried to tell someone
They never believed her
Because he doesn’t look like “that type of guy”

Every night
She would pray to God
Hoping he wont come home tonight


Details | I do not know? | |

Fall

When I was little and would fall and hit my knee
I would cry and you took care of me
When I got older and fell in love that would end
I would cry and you would be my friend

Now I am the mother kissing knees
And telling my sons bout the birds and bees
But I am not sure if I am doing it right 
So I call you late at night

And I cry God I don't know what to do
And you tell me it is okay I trust you
I am not sure if I can handle the next fall
When I loss my brick wall

So daddy please stay here 
I would cry and none would care
I need you still so much each day
So daddy please tell God to wait for a few more days


Details | Rhyme | |

The Old House and the New Home

The Old House and the New Home
©2011 C. Brent Cloyd

I’ve lived in houses in the country side
There with my family I did abide
By the dust and gravel of a country road
Much pride was taken in our humble abode

I’ve lived in houses perched on a hill
Many of which are not standing still
They provided shelter in their time
Provoked memories that make life rhyme 

I’ve lived in a house on a city street
Where the neighbors came out at night to meet
I’ve lived in houses made of wood and stone
On avenues where children could safely roam

I’ve lived in houses of mortar and brick
Where driveways were paved and the grass was thick
I’ve enjoyed houses far better than most
Where friends would come and I could serve as host

But my current house seems like a foreign land
Where everyone wants to lend me a hand
Living in this place is not my desire
Of this arrangement I easily tire

The time has come for me to leave
To this old house I will not cleave
I no longer want a cottage here below
To a fine home in heaven soon I will go.

I long not for a mansion or streets of gold
But just a place where I will never grow old
A place where pain and sadness are never more
Where happiness is found on every shore

I am eager, yes ready, to move out
To possess my new home with a shout!
The promised home Jesus went to prepare
Death please come quickly, I want to be there.


Details | Blank verse | |

A Walk With An Enemy

Tears trickle down her cheeks,
 She turns her head so the man they call her Dad
Cant see her cry.
 Was it always like this?
Did it slowly develop?
 Why cant it be different?
Again, nothing was accomplished;
 Nothing had changed.
She drives home
 Tears blurring her view,
Wishing with all her heart
 That things were better.


Details | Sonnet | |

Sonnet 1

Love taketh my heart and soul
    it recaptured my trust
never again shall I stand sole
    for your love, is lust
I learned not to love
   Thy heart cast melancholy melodies inside
Thy love is love that is only loved by the man above
   For love isn't a vied
My heart seems to haste
   yet I suffered
Unquestionably your love can be replaced
   When love comes to push and shove, I defer
As lies come across my ears
   As much as my pulverized heart been through
I learned to put off love as it corker, belittlement, and depressed me for years
   Thy heart day by day grew


Details | Personification | |

my dark thoughts

is it a waking dream?
no,
is it a waking nightmare?
no,
it be the thoughts of the deserted,
those who have nothing left to lose,
the ones who can go mute without a second thought,
the ones whose dreams overflow with the blood of others,
for they are the ones who see the sinister truth,
the end isn't near its always been there,
every year,
every month,
every day,
every minute,
every second,
for you see the end is not when the world ends,
it is the last day you feel complete,
it is the day you feel worthless,
the day you see only the dark side of things,
the moment you imagine slaying the beast of which caused your pain,
for that is the day the innocence known as your "inner child" is finally slaughtered,
and when your become...,
heartless.


Details | I do not know? | |

An Innocent Child

A young homeless child
Looking for a home but finds none.
On my first day at school the mother's not around
To comfort me when I'm down-right scared
An innocent child of seventeen
I find myself locked up in a placement
An innocent child now afraid of time
Will I forget my goals and dreams?
I go to Maryhurst
And meet people who care
I learn about peer pressure and much more
Now comes the time
To break through.....
The Fear


Details | Free verse | |

Your Words

Get a life, she said
Dark thoughts ring through my head
I am nothing—for that is what you have made me
Tears streaming from my eyes
All the past happiness—the lies
Words do matter . . . they really do
They stick to you like glue
I cannot stop sobbing
For the words ring true
I am truly nothing—thicker than lead
The next rhyme will probably be the word “dead”
Damn this mind . . . damn this head
I cannot escape the sorrow
She held it all in
And it bursts now from her quivering vocals
Crybaby, she said
Oh, but you do not know all that I hold in
But you cannot blame them for not understanding
The fault is all my own
I guess the next word to rhyme is “alone”
Wish they could be something more meaningful
Something giving, inspiring
But I cannot help this—I am rotting!
I hate to be wrong but you are right
What’s the use of this sick denial and spite?
What’s the use of trying to live this life,
When I am looking for a completely wrong purpose?
Finding myself downright worthless. . .
I hate being right. . .
But sometimes . . . I really am
And it your words you have spoken
That make it the truth

Your words leave a shameful legacy
Like a sick memory,
Like a regret. . .

March 15, 2013


Details | Haiku | |

The Gulshan Lake 2

The children of slum
Swim in the dirty water
Of the Gulshan lake!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Tomorrow

These gentle clouds move without hesitation over the glow of my understanding. Watching 
without eyes listening without ears they dance to the song of the humble breeze. Elegant 
birds of white follow underneath the night skys there feathers reflect the natural light 
painting a masterpiece with there luminous wings. As I lay here forgeting time I watch this 
beauty and learn to appreciate but never do I desacrate my friend's true work of art. Sweet 
dreams dreamer....


Details | Free verse | |

Little Refuge

Little girl goes down to the water.
Little girl climbs up the hill.
Little girl wanders in the woods.
Little girl collects little things.

Creatures and curiosities.

Puts them in her pockets.

Skipping and running and playing at hunting.

Now and then she stops, and rests.

Her every heartbeat,
her every breath,
conspires with the fragrant moist air,
the rocks and the trees,
to forget her home.

There she waits before the sunset.

She waits as long as she can.

Oh, how precious is this place.

Her refuge.

To the sea and the hills. . .
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.


Details | Free verse | |

Kicking, Screaming

Chaos erupting
Kicking, screaming
Dogs barking
Smash, thud
Kicking, screaming

Believing
I can have more
More than this
Kicking, screaming
Is not all there is
All I'm born for

Desperate
Hurt
Trapped 
No emergency exit
Kicking, screaming
Because I believe there is
More than
kicking, screaming

He calmly points
Sneers
Shows the entrance to
A greater hell 
In his desperate hope
To control
Fearing
Kicking and screaming
That may let the world know 

Battered
Tortured
On the edge of a grave
Where hope was pushed in
Where hope climbed out
Kicking and screaming

No end in sight
Can't imagine any other life
Beaten down so hard
Kicking, screaming
With kicks so weak no more than a twitch
Where screams are reduced to a silent whisper
Those kicks and screams all that's left
Kicking and screaming 
The only thing
Keeping me alive
Kicking, screaming.


Details | Lyric | |

We Walk Amongst The Faithful

We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. The tears of angels made us As they flew down from the sky. They didn't want to do it, So all they did was cry. We're stuck amongst the ruin. The horror and despair. We've seen a bit too closely To the heart of Evil's lair. We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. We're scarred up on the inside, But outside we're just fine. We hide the truth so well They can't see into our lies. Our daddies were all drinkers. And when they would get mad, They'd take it out us poor souls, And boy were we so glad When Daddy drank himself to sleep, And we could go and hide. Carve another scar into our heart Which was hidden deep inside. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our mommies all liked men Perhaps a bit too much They sampled fair and far And didn't mind the touch. When Mommy fell asleep, Her boyfriends would come down And they would scare us half to death And they'd start to mess around. And after they were done Ravaging our broken souls We'd take our chance to run And hide from things we'd never know. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our families are all broken We have no place to hide No place to let our tears out Let out what hurts inside. And now we sit here all alone In this dark corner as all hope Evades our longing hands We've lost our way to cope. And now we hide our feelings And what they've done to every “me”. We hold our chins up high. We do not let them see. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so humans Can't see through our disguise We pretend it doesn't happen We can't let anyone know Our traitor of a heart Is something we can't show. Would anyone even understand What we hold inside our hearts? Or would we be a freak show A different world apart? Maybe one day we will find one Every single one of us Someone who will understand Someone we can trust.


Details | Bio | |

Past Or Present

In memory I see his face, a young man enraged by pain
One way for him to vent his rage, me!
A young and fragile girl still clinging to what should be
A family torn apart, just how no one knows
Six children, four boys and two girls
Not enough love to go around, not enough at all you see
Tears shed for all was forgotten
Biolgical family I had, but not one at all


Details | Blank verse | |

Another Time

I seem to remember another time,
one so like today, yet brighter.
Perhaps more warm and golden.
More carefree, I suppose.
Oh, but we're so much older now!
There was a time, I remember, where
all we worried about was getting a tan,
and is my makeup just right,
and pass me a soda?
But now we have summer rainstorms
rolling in and we don't have umbrellas.
Sometimes, I think we're too old now.
Carefree days are over and now
we live in the cold, real world.
Could we still, just maybe,
learn to dance in the puddles?


Details | I do not know? | |

When We Were Young

When were really young
Untouched by all the pain that
Came in later years
How Joyfully we used to play.

Elven wars, games wigh figures.
Writing songs, a play dog named
Xlix.
Counting to a thousand or
Just plain reading.
A happy sister with her
Two brother siblings.

While most of my life I
Would not live over,
In my heart it pains me
That we fell so far apart.
I really, really miss those days
When we were younger.
What I miss are my two little brothers.


Details | I do not know? | |

Pillows Of Dreams

Visions come like never before
Stumbling through my head
Like that of a musical note
Floating on the pillows of dreams

Rivers of wishes float down the streams
Washing away the times tick of a tock 
Embracing, laughing, dancing between
Swimming in these pillows of dreams

My childhoods gone 
How has this came to be
Come and went with times spent
Chasing the pillows of dreams


Details | Free verse | |

jump rope

there’s a curve 
at the end of every sidewalk 
did you know every block’s 
measured by the lazy way a rope
skips and ponytails itself down its own street?
my, how my rope bends
alongside that straight line
six inches above what you call a ‘curb’ under my knees
falling and rising under my feet


Details | I do not know? | |

Loveless

As you walk alone in the cold dark knight you feel the lonesome chill.
A place you don't have to be 
but the bitter woman in control takes you out into the streets 
of the cold bitter world
A painful peace of life no child should have to endure
A hug brings tears to her little eyes 
She feels love she so much desires
A feeling she may never feel again


Details | Free verse | |

For 15 minutes.

I will put my half blood in a huge metal can.
Take it for chemical analysis.
So as to see my beliefs and my perception,
my vision and my aspirations.
Those i loved and others i hated.
With my other half i will paint in brick walls.
At the top,maby above all,
i will write these two words.
NO MORE
NO MORE
And then i will go to the store with aquariums.


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence Stolen

He comes to my room
Late in the night
When my mom is asleep
And turns off the light
What do i do what do i do
He's by my bed side
He slips his hand under my cover
And i just cried
I'm only 12 years old
I don't like what he is doing
I feel so dirty and bad
My heart the hate is chewing
I can't take it anymore
Why won't he leave me alone
I just want to be a kid
But now my innocence is gone
He told me don't tell
It would kill my mother 
He told me don't tell
He would kill my little brother
I feel so stuck
Who now will want me as a wife
There's only one thing left to do
So i took my own life


Details | Quatrain | |

A Mothers Love?

How can a mother not hurt
when her child cries out in pain?
How can she turn and look away
when there's so much to be gained?

If only her heart would open
and let God show the way,
to happiness and love everlasting.
For this, I'll always pray.

Is it possible to just feel nothing
towards the child you gave away?
Please say there is at least a hope
that you will love me again some day.

When I look at my child I feel love.
I could never turn my back.
But you never felt that way towards me.
Is it something that I lack?


Details | Rhyme | |

Insult to Injury

A horde of thoughts and Revelations,
All which beg to be perceived
Return my Woe and devastation- 
Give back to me the need to grieve!
In Youth had found true elation,
A childhood I'd never leave
For Life is lived in desperation
(If that Truth is to be believed)


Details | Free verse | |

witches

witches came while sleeping

during dark childhood nights

cold, terrifying descent

would howl at thunderous night
as screams rip open warm cocoon
dishes shatter starry dreams
fists pound bullets against wall
shouts explode like thunder
screams tear at empty sky

trapdoor falls

my hand reaches out

darkness rips at young heart
cliff is always there

terror has been there for much of adulthood

today my hand still reaches out

unheld.


Details | I do not know? | |

Deathwish

I refuse to sleep
And prefer to cry,
Yet I wish to rest forever.
The truth is
On some days
I cannot keep myself together.

Tears falling from my eyes
Silently drowning me
Throughout my mind...
My soul's tomorrow
Is full of sorrow.

Hidden depressions
Deeper than the seas.
Waves have thrown me
Into a cave of loneliness and regret,
Leaving me with only a wish of death.


Details | I do not know? | |

Finally

Finally I can let you go,
Why keep u?
You don't deserve me,
You never did.
Always using me,
Used me for what you want,
Which was anything.
You wasn't fair,
but hey life isn't fair right?
You was there for me in the beginning,
but u grew from me,
I was there for you,
Through every problem we had,
I comforted you,
Gave you encouraging words,
Everything I did was out of love,
It was my duty as a spouse to you,
But u hurted me,
Forgetting about my pain, 
You always wanted things your way,
Going through for three years,
You wouldn't imagine the stress,
The pain,
The deceit i went through,
Trying to forget my past,
I was loving you,
But u said It wasn't enough,
And you sure didn't care to help,
You always thought about your needs,
Your life that included me as a comforter,
Not a lover,
So think about you now,
Go with whoever,
Forget our engagement,
Forget we ever met,
Because I am going places,
Places that you would imagine.
Woooooo! 
Finally I am free!!!


Details | Rhyme | |

They Forgot?

I wonder where that girl could be?
The one that hides behind the tree
Sitting with her back to the world
Thinking of nothing, nothing, but swirls

She wonders where on earth could love be?
The kind that keeps your tears from falling free
Where are the friends others have told her about?
She's wanted no where so her souls full of doubt

Me. I just know where that girl could
And why she hides behind the tree
I know how she feels when there is no love
Not even from the man that hides above
I know her feeling of wanting a friend
Hoping one day her storm will end

I know the lonely girl without a friend
The one that still prays for her pain to end
The one who doesn't know anything about love
No kisses and hugs, no kisses and hugs
I know the girl hiding behind the tree
Hiding from the world
That girl is
                   ME.


Details | Lyric | |

Fading


Fading

There he stood at my door
Waiting for me to join him 
In the secret room
I really didn’t know
That it wasn’t for him that I was going
He was being paid 
For me to please one of his friends
Here I was six years old
&

Fading

My best friend and I 
We knew each others pain
Yet we never talked about it
An unspoken understanding
We both just wanted to forget about it
She was my rock and I was hers
She was my voice of reason
I brought her out of her shell
Now she is gone and I am

Fading

As more memories come crashing in
Like intruders in the night
They are capturing my thoughts 
Breaking my heart 
I feel like I am falling apart 
Out of control 
Voices in my head tell me to go 
But I don’t want to
Even though 
I am 

Fading

I still have a little fight in me
I refuse to let go
Maybe that is the strength my therapist 
Sees in me
Even though I feel so weak
Broken down and beaten
I can’t even sleep
As I am slowly 

Fading 

I try to smile 
I try to put on a happy face 
So the world won’t see
The sadness inside 
Yet this depression is getting hard to hide
I want to move on 
I want to find that happiness 
I once had a glimpse of
It is hard to see though
When I feel like I am 

Fading 

So here again I am flashing back
This time I was seven
I said I wouldn’t go to the room
I wanted to play with my rabbit instead
So my dad he walked over
Picked up my rabbit and 
Snapped his neck
Then told me I could play with him
Instead
I didn’t cry I knew better than that
My heart was broken all the same
And as I come back to the present
I start to cry
For a little girl I have hidden inside
Then the voices get louder 
As I start

Fading

I want so bad to pick up the phone 
And call my grandma 
Lord knows she was more like a mom to me
Then I remember 
She has passed on 
And although I really miss her 
I know she would want me to carry on
Continue on my journey
To find peace & serenity
I know she wouldn’t want me to give in
So I stand and fight 
Even though 
I feel like heck 
So sad and depressed 
I hate myself more than anyone else
So maybe that is why I feel like 
I am 

Fading





Details | Rhyme | |

Hush Baby

Sh, sh, close your eyes,
silent night broken by your painful cries.
Your heart is broken, I can tell;
it's okay, for mine is as well.
Don't ever wonder why or how,
just know mommy's with the angel's now.
The blood is nothing, mommy just fell,
there's something years from now I have to tell.
Mommy doesn't want you to be sad,
she'd want you happy, so please be glad.
She was a wonderful person, I'm sure you kow,
twenty is much too young to go.
You're also to young, only five,
I'm glad that at least you're alive.
C'mon baby, daddy's here,
we're all alone now, I fear.


Details | I do not know? | |

The truth

Children ask so many questions.
Often enough, children face hard lessons.
They learn that people lie.
They learn that sometimes a part of your family doesn't love you.
Those children grow up so insecure.
They are never for sure.
They doubt mostly themselves.
They often enough doubt everyone else.
They learn that society can be so cruel to kids.
For them to belong, the world forbids.
Everyone warns them to not talk to strangers.
Adults never realize they pose the exact same dangers.


Details | Narrative | |

Domestics - blue berry pancake

Simmering,hot, pancakes, flushed.
Battered, beating, bruised,
Syrup, sweet, melted, dripping, 

Brown now, peeling, ripping 
Dark berries, smashed oozing bluish - black red,
Hands and words tossed instead,

Pancake Burnt! Pancake dead!


Details | Free verse | |

Tortured Thoughts

Sitting here one dreary midnight Tears falling from my somber eyes So many thoughts flow through my mind Of all your excuses and horrible lies And all the nights I laid in wait Hoping that you would not wake To sneak into my broken room For yet another sickening liason I prayed every night for it to end soon Yet for countless years it continued on I told myself I needed to stay strong But it just went on for way too long No one came when I cried out I tried so hard to block them all out But now they're back and haunting me Will somebody please set me free Of all the tortures and all the hell I knew for so long and all too well


Details | Tail-rhyme | |

The Children

People everywhere bring me your ear,
I have something to say that you need to hear
bad things are happening to our children today,
creatures of darkness are taking them away

Wake up people, open your eyes
they are lurking about and telling them lies
these are our little treasures, given from God above
all they ask for is our unconditional love

Yet we let them in these creatures of the night
robbing us blind in plain sight
of our children, our loves, our prize possesions
you'd think by now we would've learned our lesson

They torture them, kill them, and lock them away
they're hoping someone will come for them someday
yet you stand idily by and watch them creep
while these thieves, these killers walk the street

These creatures of darkness, some are close to you too
your sisters, your brothers, or maybe even you
when it comes to our children, no one is excluded
aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, all are included

Don't leave your children in the hands of a stranger
because leaving them in the hands of someone 
you think you know, maybe putting them in danger

So take time people, investigate
There are creatures out there who are filled with hate
They'll take your babies and make them cry
then turn right around and tell you a lie

They'll say your child is just like their own
and in the very same breath wish they were gone
So love your children, and always protect
and you'll be rewarded with their love and respect.


There are too many children being put in harms way, because of carelessness, 
I just want to draw some attention to this huge problem.




Details | Dramatic monologue | |

MY DREAM WHEN I WAS FIVE


I DREAMT ABOUT SOME SECT!
WHO CAME AROUND TO SELL!
I WAS TOLD, THEY PLAY SO WELL!
EVEN AT THE EDGE OF WELLS!
BUT BY THE BIG BANG OF A BELL!
THEY ALL LAND AND FELL!
A FALL FROM FORCE, NONE CAN TELL!
WHETHER LITTLE OR A HELL!
I RAN STRAIGHT UP THE HILL!
HOPING, TO MEET PEOPLE OF GOOD WILL!
WHO CAN SAVE THEM OFF THE THRILL!
BUT NONE CARES A DEAL!
WHILE THEY WENT ON WITH THEIR MEAL!
THE SECT DIED THAT KILL! 


Details | I do not know? | |

Playground Despair

I am an onlooker
Feeling left out of the world.
Why doesn’t someone come over and talk to me?
I try to work up the courage to join in the fun,
So I rise to my feet
Walk around a little,
Eaves drop on the conversations around me,
Listen to the laughter and wish I could be a part of it all.
But nobody calls me over,
Nobody wants to be my friend today.
I walk over to my hard, cold bench and sit down
As someone races by with a smirk that says
“I’m better than you.”
And I begin to cry.
I pull myself up and trudge on home,
Throw myself on the bed,
And bury my face in my pillow.
I fall asleep and dream
That perhaps tomorrow will be better.


Details | I do not know? | |

Ragged and Torn

Since I've been born.
Just a peasant girl,
Not worth diamonds or pearls.

Born with the sheep
Have to sleep in the big dung heap.
Used and worn,
Ragged and torn.


Details | Free verse | |

Desperation takes control

She's locked in silence and fear, behind that cold glass wall. She tries with all her might to not give into her darkest temptations. And grab that stealy cold blade, and watch as her blood comes pouring out. She lays in desperation waiting... For nothing. For everything. Her desperation takes over, begins to control her. She cries out in anguish. Let's it all flow out. Tears, Blood, Love, Family, Her Life. It all comes out in one swift motion of her best friend. Her razor blade. She closes her eyes and clenches her teath. Wishes it would all go away, but she knows there's not such thing. Grew up wanting to die, it was so hard. Wishing she could be normal like everyone else. All she wanted is not to be locked in a box full of emotions. Blood flows down her arm and all she hears is her silent sobs. Watches her life pass infront of her. She fades in and out. Laying in her pool of desperate, worthless blood. One more breath, those last words. I love you mom and dad.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

WHAT WOUND DID EVER HEAL

“What wound did ever heal, 
But by degrees”
…Shakespeare
Except my mother was dear
…Very dear

Count me among men
Who can read and write
Count me among them
Who finds book a delight
No!
Not about intelligence
Mother taught me diligence
Scrapped for a living
So I could get learning
I am a dead woman’s sweat
My worries cracked her chest
My mother was my literacy
My literacy is my treasure
My treasure…is you
I wrote what you can read
She was its measure.
I never paid back 
Never gave thanks.
Prodigal son playing pranks

On me,
She had learned to hope
Then died
In last breath still in hope
That I lose not hope
But what hope lies there 
For a drawing man to hope
Last straw, just sank in
Wide Sea without and within

Wounds heal by degrees
But some can’t heal
Only permitted to blurred
My tears blur my view
Soaks the ink in papers
Forcing me to rewrite and renew
She will not want me to cry
Rather that I sit up and try
Dab my eyes, let the tears dry.
“I know who you are my son”
You are awesome”
Mama, you always tell me that
But am breaking down.
Your lose never healed
Shakespeare said its by degrees
Said the pain will decrease
But I detest full healing
You were so appealing.


Details | Free verse | |

"Identity"

Gentle, mild, and meek.
Human-strong and weak.

A mask to hide away the pain.
Hard to live with shame.

Good person, good friend.
A ? mark; never seen through to the end.

Chivalry is dead and so is the “good
Samaritan” act.
In this world today, it’s a true, proven fact.

Humble; a little pride, determination is my drive.
If I want things to get better for me,
hope burns on the inside.

Reserved and I move at my own pace.
Steady and slow, less consequences to face.

This is my life; pathetic as it is.
It’s the only one I have; not urs, theirs, hers or his.

I know who I am.
I have too much respect for myself and body; forever condemned.

So if u ask me, 
“Who are u and what I am?

I’ll smile and say, 
			“For I am Poetry!”

Profound, misunderstood, and a lifelong mystery.


Details | Rhyme | |

Fifteen Years Young

With a baby in my arms,
keeping it from harm,
I hold back tears of shame,
for I have only fifteen years to my name.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Purple and White Zig Zagged Kite

It was 4:04, late in the afternoon,
My mom shouted, honey please come in soon.
There was supposedly a storm nearby that was pretty heavy,
Little did I know that it was just beyond that brand new Chevy.
Before I knew it, the storm hit the Jones’s home,
The storm was just starting its long and deadly roam.  
The kite’s zig zag pattern resembled the lightning in the sky,
When it was suddenly struck down I just had to wonder why.
As I looked at the remains of a once beautifully crafted kite,
I felt the ruined gift given to me by my cancer-struck grandmother, Jane Louise Wright.
I thanked God in that instant that the lightning didn’t strike me flat,
Throughout the darkened town, raindrops fell with a splat.   
Later the next day I kneeled by the 46 year old barn,
Then buried the remains along with the yarn. 


 

Thank you to Carol Brown for starting my journey off with such positive words.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mother's not at Fault.

She birthed him when he was young, 
gave him a name to love.
Brought him up, with love and care, 
and loads of hugs to share.

She taught him manners, 
his values and ethics,
along with culture and tradition,
the last to fill her ambition.

She gave him his freedom, 
his first taste of independance, 
With all the trust she dare
in all that her little heart can bear.

But...

He stole,
he lied.
She yelled,
she cried.
He killed,
he robbed.
She hurt,
she sobbed.

Now...

He spoke,
with his held down.
Through bars,
between him and his mother.

"Mother, why do you hate me?
     this is all your fault. Now look at me."

"Son, I tried, but you failed me and yourself.
      I am Ashamed now to even look at you"


Details | Free verse | |

Poison Ivy

Thirteen, deemed brilliant...quite attractive,
injecting her poison through the blood of
countless young boys...

boys...calling her home...riding by...
boys...craving her time...wanting her...

But beyond the intellect, she was insensitive
and, at times, brutal.

"Dance with me."
"No way, you're ugly."

"Would you like to go see a movie?"
"No, you're not my type."

Chased...so she ran as distraught boys with
bruised hearts neither forgot nor...

forgave.


Details | Free verse | |

a life of pain

I can remember the sadness in my heart,I remember how people use to treat me,I remember when I wasn't accepted from you guys,You put me in a hole,You shown me to hate and hate my enimes and love myself even more,I remember the pain you put me through,My anger arise aganist me,I felt like a demon coming inside me,I guess my life was falling apart,there's no reason to lie,
but now I have people who is there for me and people who love's me now,
I guess I ain't crazy after all


Details | Quatrain | |

Five Young Children

Five young children.
Lost and alone.
No one to care for them.
No one home.

Where are their parents?
Sitting in the bar.
Once the drinks have all been poured,
The fights will go too far.

Remember those poor children
waiting there at home.
They're too young to change their lives
or live them on their own.

Are there other children?
Lost and alone?
No one to care for them?
No one home?


Details | Ballad | |

A Proud Marine

A majestic Marine
Who was always was there
No other human being
Could possibly compare

No possible word
Could ever truly describe
For every mention of his name
My heart and eyes fill with pride

He was a United States Marine
Illustrious and respected
Yet he demanded none
He was always there
To protect his dear grandson

The last few years
Were Oh so agonizing to see
To watch a hero that once stood so strong
As solid as a tree

Crumble into a powerless
Helpless man
Yet he fought
As if on the shores of Japan

No matter how steep the slope
He never lost hope
It’s been 
Two years and seven days
Since he passed in the fight
The only thing he would have said
Was "it’ll be all right"

Never was there a man
More worthy of the stars
He even had
A few battle scars

He fought at  Iwo Jima 
And Guadalcanal
And received the Purple Heart
On the island of  Guam

He held so much respect
For the soldiers of foot
That his own role
He overlooked

When we converse
My parents hold true retention
The day I was born
Daddy Joe began to spoil me with attention
They said his heart
Was in another dimension

The most excruciating pain
I have ever known
Was watching my strong Marine
Whittle away to the bone

No possible word in diction
Could ever possibly explain
The gratitude I feel, to have
His blood in my veins

I love you Daddy Joe
Semper Fidelis


Written in loving memory and tribute to my grandfather Joel Allen Harris 

MAH


Details | Suzette Prime | |

BURIED PAST EXHUMED

BURIED PAST EXHUMED

Today is a gift and always called present
Yesterday has passed and referred to as past
Nobody knows tomorrow and it’s always anonymous
My past was dead and long buried in the casket
All memories and remains six feet beneath the soil
I came in the present and lived in the present
I never knew the past, so I lived ignorant of its history
Not that I didn’t care to ask but what will I ask?
Something is wrong in the present that dates back to the past
This wrongful thing is connected to the future.

Today is the present and the present is a bad gift
The problems got too enormous; I capsized in it amidst storms
The wreck was too bad a worst; I got lost in it
Deep down the ocean of confusion; I lay amidst sharks
To the everyday of everyday; I strived to always survive to strive
There is always hope, and I hoped for a better tomorrow
While still hoping deep in the sea; sharks made my heart their abode
Continually attacking me and slowly draining my life away
To every solution I sought; no answer and no help
To the misery of the present; the worst awaits in future.

Death got our life on the edge
Every tight cliff too slippery to hold
Even in death; not all memories are dead
So far there is life, the truth always surfaces
At that unexpected moment, the truth got disvirgned
My dead past was exhumed with all the pains and sorrow
So wretched was the remains it drew blood amidst painful tears
At that moment, the symbols of the present had its meaning
It pains I knew now but it’s good to know how to tackle the present
Exhumed is exhumed; bury the remains again; the memories lives on...........

										…Lordvip…
			


Details | Free verse | |

The death rattle of Jackson Haley

His heart gave a leap of joy,
scrambling up over a wall of memories,
as the leaves quivered in front of him.
On Monday the children were playing at soldiers.
On Tuesday he was playing fast and loose with a girl's affections.
I forgot to give childhood to him and the coat sit badly across the shoulders.
A heart overflowing with gratitude,he was a good man,
came of a good family.
Thinking of grievous loss and bewailing, Jack Haley woke up.
Gale force winds and the boat of souls tossed about on the stormy sea,
a joke and a racking headache of a thousand why.
Silence reigned everywhere at 6.30 in the morning.
He is a law unto himself now as 5 dollars in his pocket suddenly
disappeared.
He never sold himself to the enemy and lights turned on.

He looked at his son with pride,fingered the tie of reputation,
stammered out a few words and then stopped.
Just stopped.


Details | Diminished Hexaverse | |

Bloodied Souls

Conflicts and troubles
Continents and tribes
Tomorrows left reft
Children, their future
In wanton describe ~~~~~

Maiming to kill
Shooting to thrill
Crimson will spill
Genocidal ~~~~

Soldiers they
Boys and girls
In whose world ~~~

These young
Bloodied ~~

Souls ~







http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-7.php


Details | Bio | |

IF ONLY

Class is in session
My name is called for attendance 
All of a sudden I start to slightly cry
I realize everyone's watching me
Die inside
Talking aloud my dearest friend says
Why what is the matter?
I say my mom is no longer here 
I need to be gone 
Can't finish my life without parents by my side
What should I do? 
End it with a knife? 
Start over and tell a lie?
I blame myself everyday
Fifteen years of struggle 
Now as a sixteen year old
Past-life is the monster I hide
I leave it behind as I write 
I can't let life push me by
If I let it push me along
My life wouldn't last too long
Maybe just maybe 
I can travel back in time
Change all mistakes
In a flash 
Return to a life I wish I had
Without parents is depressing
Knowing I'm loved in some sort of way
Takes my life away 
If only I can travel back in time
Just to want that happy life  


Details | I do not know? | |

Redemption of a Child

It has been years of terror, pain, nightmarish hell!
Little girl in faded cast offs, shuffled from back room to main office.
Disembodied voices, cubicles, paperwork, a drab cell.
Letterhead, Department Of Children Services, an address and phone number.
Eyes suspicious, blond hair ragged. Nevada  midsummer.
Woman, excruciatingly thin, pale, tired and sunken.
Child, fearful, nervous, confused emotions drunken.
Summer, its mama, please remember me.
Child, through fog of lies and time. A lonely little flicker, remembrance possibly?
Four years gone, milk carton child, young innocence stolen.
Home lost no more, hell traded for future gossamer dreams, golden.

                                                                                                      Summer Gratias


Details | Free verse | |

Poverty grows

Poverty.
Hardship and suffering
all behind society's eyes
raised by the ghetto
slums cracked lights out
scavenges for life
its gone. 
The same face in all places
no father figures
can't support, gone
moms fiend for crack
the silent killer
hard to take, reality hurts
the youngest
nothing lives within him
unloved, felt like a colorless weed
wants to develop
a beautiful rose
society wont let
its a cruel world
only the streets
resist the temptations.
Death laid outside his doorstep
waiting to grab the innocent beneath 
Gang life sleeps in his thoughts
trying to fight the opposition
a deadly current war.
Getting older
need to make ends meat  
but how, never given a chance
selling drugs only option 
need to feed his children
and in his mind
nobody cares
people just stare.
Treated as the fungus of earth
and all this money
soldiers dying, the devils agreement
army of weeds, never stop regrowing
power making more poverty
not spent on the poor
only used for wars
its sad.
A war on drugs
to fight them off
but they made them
dirty tricks, crooked 
and deceived
and still we don't change this
mankind has the say
not the rich.
Children screaming, not heard
tears not felt
like a raindrop with no splat
it always keeps raining
in his eyes.
People so caught up in the power
like a wolf fighting for its food
wraps around the minds 
changing ambition to greed
Just share 
then i think things would be fair
for all the bad acts
its countless.
Going through his mind 
all the times he cried
number of life's he lost
early deceased
in the penitentiary
trapped left to die
a fly under a glass.
Certain peoples cause
an act with no redemption 
soon to burn in hell
tried to deceive us
saying they were against us
causing pains and misery.
A secret war
an epidemic
propaganda in its finest form 
defying the innocent
minds controlled 
eyes turned, no notice
no justice.
It goes on and keeps on growing.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Countless Wishes -Part 1-

I wish 
To be a pigeon soaring in the morning sky
I wish
I have all my issues fly out the windows
I wish
My whole body could simply wither away 
I wish
To start anew and be on a fresh start 
I wish
I had the ability to fly 
I wish
To have a talent of writing cheerful, exquisite poems 
I wish
I could be a wonderful guy 
I wish
I could have a future family and be the best father in the world
I wish
I could have a positive mindset 
I wish
I had the desire to talk things out and live a peaceful life


Details | Free verse | |

Feelings, Thoughts and Strange Sensations

She walks slowly and silently 
down the road,
face down toward the ground.
She has feelings and thoughts,
strange sensations,
she cannot understand,
but that no little child 
should have to bear.
The strange sensations 
come at bedtime
but she knows not why.
As she grows older,
it all stays with her,
yet she has no memory,
she can name no names,
just feelings and thoughts 
and strange sensations,
still, she knows not why,
perhaps the naked truth,
the pure and naked truth
shall never be known,
and one more silent victim,
walks, face to the ground,
down the road,
Carrying the burden of
feelings, thoughts and strange sensations.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Babies of Beslan

Babies of Beslan............



The darkest day in history, 
Brought tears to my eyes. 
Many Russians murdered, 
In a mass of horrid cries. 

Hundreds of innocent people, 
Seen fleeing through the streets. 
Bodies thrown onto the verge, 
In a sea of blood-stained sheets. 

So many kept within a school, 
Being held against their will. 
Suicide bombers with booby traps, 
That care not who they kill. 

An act by Chechen rebels, 
Seeking freedom for their kin. 
With scenes of utter carnage, 
From those terrorists within. 

Semi-naked children, 
Seen running through the street. 
The Chechen rebels in the school, 
Shooting at their feet. 

Bombs and bullets filled the air, 
As the smoke engulfed the skies. 
People running from the school, 
With terror stricken eyes. 

Such barbaric bloody actions, 
Brought death and undue pain. 
The heart of the Beslan community, 
Won't see their like again. 

May the Lord our God watch over you, 
May he guide you by his light. 
May he hold you in his arms again, 
And keep you safe tonight........... 


In memory of the children and teachers of the Beslan school massacre.


Details | Free verse | |

Bullies

Invisible - Unwanted
Broken - Bruised

A life once so pure.

Now only full of fear.

Tunted - Teased
Hit - Aubsed

A life once so peaceful.
Now full of hate and anger.

Bullied by those who thought it'd be fun.
Chased by those who thought they could do anything.

A childs life, taken/stolen
Parents, never knowing of what's going on.

Until.

It's too late.


Details | I do not know? | |

Flashback

I used to dwell on the past
I had no clue 
How lucky I was
How lucky I am
Always a victim
I played the role well
Falling into traps
Situations I couldn't get out of
Putting myself in comprimizing places
I hated my self
I thought it was all my fault
Then I woke up
I saw what I was doing to me
I realized that I could get better
I could take back control
I could be a survivor
I could be happy 
Finally
So I with many hours of therapy
And a lot of work
I put it all behind me
I moved on
Even got married
To the man of my dreams
I thought it was over and then 
In an instant there was a trigger
And a new memory 
Popped up

Flashback

To my yesterdays
I was just a girl
A child
Forced to witness something so ugly
I don't quite know what
I feel the pain, fear
My heart pounding rapidly 
Yet the images are scarce and
I don't think they are in order
I am trying hard to piece together 
This fragmented memory
If only it would all come at once
So I could get it over
Move on again 
Beyond the 

Flashback

My eyes may not see it clearly 
My mind is a little weary
But I know in my heart
That I will survive
I am strong
And while for now I may feel some pain
I may be frightened terrified
And even a little ashamed
No rhyme or reason
Yet it is how I feel 
So I will say it again
To myself more than anyone else
I will survive 
It's just a

Flashback

My eyes begin to water
The tears are spilling over
It is starting to come together
I see the child I used to be
And in my mind I put myself there
To comfort the little girl I used to be
To pull myself through
Find the light 
In the darkness of my mind
I have survived 
I am pulling through
I will be stronger
Because I am a fighter
And the 

Flashback 

It is over

By: Jean Shular


Details | Free verse | |

Run

I'm running faster and faster
To where I don't know
Fearing more what I leave behind
Than the scary place of the unknown
That I now run towards

My face sore as the bruises come to life
My eyes red from crying terrified tears
I have nothing more than the clothes that I wear
But never going back is all I can think of

Should I go to the Police?
Show them what he's done?
Up to now he's been so clever and never bruised my face
But now I have the ultimate prize of a glowing black eye

But still I fear in their care I will not be safe
That they will force me back to where I will surely die
As the words I'd proudly shouted, with enough distance gained
' I am never ever coming back' echoed within my weary smile

How far he chased me I'll never know
As I slowed the enormity of what had just happened drained
But as I tears fearful of what would become betrayed my new found strength
My resolve to take on whatever it took stubbornly became tattooed on my mind

And as I cried in my sisters arms
And my brother-in-law told me it would be OK
I begun a long difficult journey
To where I am today

But no sleeping on floors
In an alleyway
Damp cold dirty bed-sits
Hunger and lonely nights wondering how I would survive
Were ever worse than where I had run from


Details | Free verse | |

My baby

Don't listen to them, why should you care what they say?Hmm?
We will always love you, you know that.

They just don't understand you.
They don't matter.

Hush, don't cry.

My poor baby.
Why do they torment you so?

Shhhhhh.
Mummy's here.
It will be okay.



Details | Tanka | |

The Sweet Return

Children once played here.
Screaming laughter in the yard.
When will they come back?
A mother can only yearn.
For the day of sweet return.


Details | Rhyme | |

He

He was the one who held my hand, 
And the footprints were his next too mine in the sand,
He was the one who tucked me in at night,
And when I was scared he would turn on the light,
He was the one who drove me too school,
And he stuck up for me when people where cruel, 
He was the one who fought with her,
And they argued and shouted and walked out the door,
He was the one who never came back, 
And all I can say is that is that.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Santa Iraq

Dear Santa.............Iraq       

Candles burning sure and bright, 
Shining through the Christmas tree. 
Santa's coming 'round tonight, 
Bringing presents here for me. 

I sent a letter some time ago, 
I asked for things I'd need. 
For these are things for Mum and me, 
It certainly wasn't greed. 

For I am thirteen years of age, 
I asked, "please bring Dad back". 
I miss him; Mum is so upset, 
Since he died inside Iraq. 

I cry myself to sleep some nights, 
I can hear Mums sobbing heart. 
He's the only present we will need, 
"Don't keep us all apart". 

Dear Santa, no more toys or clothes, 
No gifts from that Christmas sack. 
The only thing that we all want, 
Is to have my Daddy back. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Cradle Grave

He lay awake in fear
Darkness all around 
A cry escaped his voice 
All ignored the sound
Unable to fend for himself 
He lies there all alone
Cold, wet, and hungry 
Soon he will cry no more

A cold and drafty warehouse 
Is where he has to live
A mom possessed with an addiction 
No affection she has to give
She leaves him crying all alone 
To feed her inner demons
No second thought to her baby
All alone and helpless

Each night he spends there all alone 
Shivering in the cold
No mom around to protect him 
From the fear inside his soul
Many days he lies there all alone 
Rotting in his mess
Until the day had finally come
 Where there was no life left

On this earth for just a while 
He quietly slipped away
On a night too cold 
No warmth for cover 
He cried his final breath

A wasted life gone too soon
 No thought to what could have been
For the cradle has become his grave 
To rest what is left of him
I pray to God please take his soul 
And grant the life not given
Here on earth for the moment of time 
This hell where he was living


Details | Free verse | |

Tales Of America

The Dank Abode
------------------------
1. Dank is the echo reflected in our lives, and at any moment flood waters may rush to 
greet us.  A sweet hello.  Our beds, our clothes and what little we own, the burglar is 
mother nature's own and we can only venture out and start all over.

This be a claustrophobic home and it's a roof of old we lurk in.  Sharing our domicile with 
rats and roaches, various diseases, and the realities of our past turned ghost within our 
eyes as we blink in disbelieve and dread it.  How far we've fallen as we plunged off the 
edge of the end of the world.  

Now we sell you tickets, just to make enough to starve.

Geological Deficiency
----------------------------
2. With hunger in our bellies we greet the world waiting.  A bus without an address 
waits to greet us as the traffic builds and anger stems behind it.  We wish we still had 
an address to stand and start our day.  The driver signals, the cars blaze and yells 
curse, but we're on our way to the first real meal we'll have all day.

2.5: My mother eats rocks, I saw her! ...And she grinds her teeth upon the body of the 
Earth.  My mother eats rocks, because I need my dinner. 

Camping Forever
--------------------------------------

3. Beneath the sky there is no shelter, there is cold and hard cement.  There are 
uniforms who track me where I went. The law doesn't like me for I have no place else to 
go.
The limbo shelters hate me, for they're already full, they won't let me in so I stay out in 
the cold. 

That's why I am camping, and I think I'll camp forever.  I'm not alone, there's plenty of 
us here, pitching our tents and chewing our beans but where else do I go? When the 
world doesn't want me around, I guess I'll camp forever.

--------------------------------------

I apologize if any of this feels short inadequate but I was in a rush.  I'll do some repairs 
to these when I have the time.

Here is the news piece that inspired these poems.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suJCvkazrTc


Details | Rhyme | |

Another Fallen Leaf

She once was Daddy's precious little girl 
with golden hair in ringlets and tight curls. 
With a pretty new dress and bright shiny shoes 
but now she is battered, bleeding and bruised! 

Her childhood; now cut short- had been smiles, giggles and hope 
but now she is 'strung-up' on heroin and coke. 
It had all fallen to pieces when Daddy died so young 
her older brother crushed by it- couldn't cope and by rope he hung. 

Mother tried to bring up her children just right 
but they could hear her weeping softly in the night. 
Work was so scarce and Mom had no skills 
barely anything to eat, and not much for the bills. 

-So she learned to beg and steal at a tender age 
and blamed it on Daddy, it so filled her with rage! 
Soon she was drinking and fighting just to live 
then Mother died, she had given all she could give. 

She ran away, before 'those' people could come 
but they got her younger brothers, they were always too dumb. 
Not her; she had learned important 'rules' from the street, 
'you take from others if you wanted to survive and to eat!' 

Life wasn't too bad; if you could take the hard 'knocks' 
seeing kids sick and dead; had long ago numbed the shock. 
She was dirty, smelly, and usually strung-up so high 
that she hardly cared if she lived another day or she died. 

She had some 'homies'; that she could call on 
and one night they broke into a house for a little fun. 
They were all drugged up and had only done it for a hoot 
it had never crossed their minds, that the owner would really shoot! 

The others just scattered in panic and left her there alone 
the owner looked down and then went to the phone. 
She lay there dying, shaved head; no more ringlets and curls 
wishing just one last time, she was again her Daddy's little girl. 

©21/06/2012 
 












Details | ABC | |

Surely

Surely!







I felt like exploding. 
The back of my eyes were burning.

What had happened here? 
There must have been times when I felt more than this. 
There had to be. 
Surely.

It was Tuesday afternoon, around 12.20pm, that I realised what had to be done. 
Someone had to pay!

I have lived, up until now, a privileged life. 
One really of no hard labour, unlike many of those around me. 
I suppose I felt superior to some people in many ways. 
Should I have thoughts like this as a member of the human race? 
There you go you see, human race, race, the word that we have put into who we are, its a race, we are racing, racing each other. 

Where will it be the race, who is in the, race, yes indeed!
Mumblings of a mad man corrode the in workings to such a degree that there seems no way out!
Surely we had felt more than this?

Surely!   




Scott. T . Williams.


Details | I do not know? | |

That Little Girl

That Little Girl 

Born into a world where the people she would come to love
Would be the people who would hurt her the most 
Always hoping for their love, approval and care
Never giving up on her dream that someday she would get just that
Hanging on to the memories of the few times when she did. 

A sex slave to her own father
Every day wanting to die
Yet fighting to survive
Pouring her heart out 
Not getting anything in return
Crying on the inside while pasting a smile on the outside

Feeling the grief and relief
After her father pases away
Then feeling guilty, ashamed and confused
For feeling any relief and why
Not even wanting to believe one of the people, she loved the most
Had hurt her and then abandoned her
That is how she felt

Going to school and pasting a smile on
Being funny one day
Mean the next
Never knowing how she should be 
Always doing her best to hide
The pain inside

Surrounding herself with friends
Keeping them at a distance 
Not really letting them in
If they were just using her that was okay
Being popular was all that mattered
Even if it compromised who she really was 
On The Inside 

Trying to please everyone 
While never pleasing her
Thinking food was the enemy
She never felt skinny enough
Not eating, vomiting when she did
Starvation became a way of life
Little did she know she would have to fight it the rest of her life

That was her life
That was her world
Until someone came along
Showed her it did not have to be
She could get better if she tried
With a lot of work 
Determination
And a long road still to go
Always trying to focus on the light at the end of every tunnel
She has come such a long way
Now 

That Little Girl

Has turned into 

Me

By: Jean Shular



Details | I do not know? | |

The Hidden Me

Walking through life all alone, 
I live my life in monotone.
Watching the days go by, 
I sit and wonder, why?
What purpose do I serve? 
What is it to just exist? 
Wandering blind in a veil of mist.
If the sun were to shine on me, 
Could I open my mind and see?
Would I use my heart and soul? 
Would I find what hatred once stole?
Young in life, my innocence lost, taken, 
My mind frozen with fear, trust violently shaken.
Unable to shed a tear, my paranoia blatantly real.
Emotions unexpressed congeal. 
My eyes leave nothing unguarded,
The real me checked and carded. 
Awaiting a person who possesses the key, 
To open the door and kill the pain inside me.
                                                 Summer Gratias


Details | Narrative | |

P E C FRONTLINE

         
      Growing up on a small council estate
         pretty close knit and plenty of mates
            we had our own little squad
              the park end crew, were like a pod
            
                 We went through a stage of oppertunist thieves
                    but what was to follow nobody believes
                      just of what was about to come in store
                         organised violence football hard core

                             The length and bredth of England,our firm travelled
                               coming up against the best and coming unravelled
                                 an incident occurred that would change my life
                                   the judge said to me, you did use a knife.

                                         12 lads went to jail for 39 years
                                            some hard faced and some with tears
                                               16 years old,5 years on my head
                                                 going to jail to lay on my bed.....


Details | I do not know? | |

Better Off Without Me

When I'm with one of you,
I just can't have one without the other.
I would love to laugh and have fun together.

But then I see,
That maybe
You two are better off without me.
Because I hear
That when I'm not there,
You agree on most things
And get along. Having fun
Like as if you don't really care
About anything else.

I'm starting to feel
That maybe you secretly hate me
And lie when you say I'm great
And I just don't fit to your appeal and ideals.
I'm sure neither of you felt this loneliness as long as I did
And I usually feel envy for friendships and siblings
That I often see.
You are lucky to be together...


Details | Free verse | |

You're Gone 1-8-09

you were supposed to stay forever
you were supposed to tell me of the war
you were supposed to come to my wedding
but you won't be...

you left...
I didn't want you to...
but the cancer got you...
and you left...

they should have found it earlier...
but they ran all the wrong tests
and they couldn't find it...
not til it was too late...

so the cancer ate away at you...
it ate and ate and ate...
there was nothing to be done
all there was to be done was to wait...

so we did.
we waited,
and waited,
and waited...

we waited less than a month...
the longest month of my life...
until January 24, 2008, around 3 a.m.
she woke up and found you dead...

and now you're gone...
no matter how bad I want you to be here...
You're Gone...


Details | I do not know? | |

A Family's Secret

i feel the pain
i see the pain
i want to be strong
i want to be brave
its them i want to save
but i dont know how
i try to make them smile
but im not worth their while
Mommy i see you cry
though you do not try
you do not know what to do
i want to help
sisters are sick
daddy is weak
he's doing his job
but you just sob
we all need help
you've kept your faith
you keep me safe
but no more shall i watch
as you cry
i want to try
its my turn mommy
i am sorry
but i will no longer cry in front of you
i will stay strong
just for you
its my turn
to hide these tears


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Murder of the innocent

Murder of the innocent............. 

One door opens, as another door shuts, 
Drugs, knives, coppers, over dressed sluts. 
Colours worn, weapons in hand, 
Children dying in a blood tainted land. 

No more hatred, no weapons to yield, 
No more coffins in a mud sodden field. 
Hatred now gone, no more youngsters to die, 
No need for anger at the places they lie. 

When the door opens, the door opens wide, 
No more denying, no places to hide. 
No time for distance, no walking away, 
No children dying, no murders today......... 

In memory of the victims of the British culture of knife crime.


Details | Free verse | |

Before She Grew

You put your hand
Where it should not be
You showed her things
She should not see
You took her to years
Before her time
You made her hate
What she didn't understand

Before she grew
A young life stained
Before she grew
A childhood to forget
Before she grew
Nightmares rehearsed
Before she grew
So much sadness engrained
Because of you

Before she grew.


Details | Couplet | |

Biography

I have this desire
To write and inspire.
But would the world open its ears and listen
When most of my life has already been written?
What about my life could possibly be said
To make it worthy of being read?
Sexually abused by a family friend,
These were dark times that seemed to have no end.
Raped and verbally abused,
This was a life I didn’t choose. 
As a third grader I was obsessed with my mortality.
My mother had a severe hoarding tendency. 
My father was physically there, but emotionally absent.
I possessed a strong fear of peer judgment.
Drugs and alcohol littered my street.
Strangers became the only people I’d meet.
 I saw men bleed until their last breath.
I’ve felt the sting of a premature death.
I saw evil on a daily basis. 
I became just a number in a social worker’s cases. 
I feared I’d be called a liar.
It was a constant battle to keep my head held higher.
The stories of my life could fill a book,
But would anyone bother to take a look?


Details | Free verse | |

This is not a doll

“Why?” …

You were asked. You promised.
Go get her.
Her bare bones, broken, piled in the corner, stripped of all cloth, humanity, humility 
Mock the triviality of this earth. 
She transcends us all.
The shallow hollows where eyes once stared hold the deepest secrets.
The scalp, bald from years of brushing while ideas of beauty formulated.
The hands, rubbed down to nubs from grip during fear. 
She is comfort. Security. A Guardian Angel.
 
This is not a doll.
This is your daughter’s child, her sister, her friend. Her youth.
She was there when you weren’t.
Get her before the ghosts take over. Before the house crumbles.
Before you move away.
Go get her.
You were asked. You promised.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Dreams

Escaping another day of screaming rows
Another day of threats
The endless arguments
Growing rage
Escape the next sting of pain

Sent early to bed
For what, not sure
But at least in sleep I hope
For a little break from fear in wake

Lying on the side
That isn't quite so sore tonight
Their screams and shouts thankfully fade
As dreams gently invade

I play far from reach
Of the nettles that sting
In a field free of fear
I dream the dream captures me here

Clouds cruelly appear
A storm rips flowers from the ground
Trees tossed into the air
Colour drained from near and far
As my dream is shaken

With a slap to the face
I am awakened
My temporary haven
Brutally taken

Failed to reach my quota today
For an hour to lay in abusive rain
The rain mixing with desperate tears
Desperate for a dream to take me away from him

So desperate that a child's mind
Should wish to die
So desperate a child
Should try and take its life

As I move to the side
That now hurts less
As he lay drunk
His fury spent
I dreamt of a day
That was years away


Details | Rhyme | |

Left Behind

Sitting so tall and high, it almost feels like I can touch the sky. I feel so safe and sound; my feet don’t even touch the ground. You carry the world on your shoulders, yet you are so young. When you get older, you will come undone. Violence and drugs, they corrupt you. You are no longer care free. I see the change in you. Once so young, now so old, can’t you see how much I miss you? You have become invisible, a distant memory. Every night I go to bed, I close my eyes and I remember. A time that was not so far, where you were my hero, a star. I lay my head upon my pillow, and I remember that wonderful summer. You and me and a Rally’s Burger, me on top of your shoulders. Looking up at the sky and wishing it would never end. I fall. The sky and stars are now so far. I watch your back as you fade into the darkness. I shout your name but my screams never reach your ears. Slowly you change into nothing but a shadow. I sit on the cold wet ground crying and confused. I’m wondering how you could have left me, how you could just disappear on me. I forget about the burger we shared and it falls to the ground falling apart. It is ruined. I sit there for so long, not moving. Slowly I make my way back home. I am young. I am lost. I am waiting. You never come. You never save me. You were my hero. But now….I cant remember. All I have left is my memory and even that is kind of fuzzy. Sitting so low, everything is out of reach. I am scared and you aren’t there. You never reappear.


Details | I do not know? | |

Note to Father

How could you help bring me into this
world and not take care of me.
17 years later still no sign of u anywhere.
you and mom bailed out not given a shit
about me never in a million years would
I think of this ever happening. If I ever see u
or even get the chance to meet u, I will tell u
that I hate u and I never want to see u. Dad
don't u care anything about me, well just to let
u know I am doing just fine without u. Growing
up without a Father is something that hurts but
I learned to live without u.


Details | Free verse | |

Set in Stone

As I lay on my bed sobbing
Not to loud because otherwise I fear he will hear and come
I looked forward to no future 
Beyond where he told me all that wasn't

I searched for cracks in what he told
For a second I dared to believe in something 
Wished for a world where he was dead
And I was free to be more

As I woke and tentatively walked into another of his days
As I tried not to ignite the alcohol this morning he had drunk
Tried not to become entangled in another of his vindictive webs 
I held the dream of what could possibly

As I lay trapped beneath his feet
As what he swore fueled my tears
As I tried to escape the hardest punches
With the very tip of my fingers I held on to hope

As he told me my future was set in stone
As expertly he picked away any sense of self belief
Through the shouts for all the reasons I didn't deserve to exists
A very different cast was being created

As everything he said and done
Rests now in all he touched
I can see the only thing that has been set
Is all he lost
All he failed.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Matter Of Strength

If strength is only 
How well you hide the pain.
I must be truly strong spirited.

If thinking you want death
Is a matter of being gutsy enough,
Then those who're gone
Were even more strong

Rest in peace,
Yet what've they've done 
Shall forever haunt me...


Details | I do not know? | |

Run Away

I'm so sick of the lies
and the ties
and the tears
that I cry
are drowning my mind
I have to escape
take a brake
don't hesitate
just go
with the flow
no more pain
any more
cause of you
yes, it's true
and I rue
the day I believed
all these lies
that you heaved
on my shoulders
but no more
I don't want to be
taken innocently
I'm seriously
gonna leave.
That's it
I'll just go
leave you alone
with this reality
that you've made yourself believe
well, it's not for me
any more
cause you see
behind these eyes
there's a me
that knows you lie
and I fear
how I'll feel
when my mind
starts to clear
and I'm forced to see
how you've lied to me
so it's time to go
find a better place
where I'll have my own space
so it might be
a slap in the face
for my family
who left the rat race
but they'll never know
cause they're in your control
well I'm not
innocent
anymore.


Details | I do not know? | |

Muse

Pet
Petrified
In a corner

Images are what memories are made of
Sounds add audio for your tears 
Precious feelings of the horrible never forgotten 

Sit here—listen, this is how I feel
Do you reckon I am now what I remembered I was
Then…
Then knees scrapped, wild hair, grass stains, 
Sunday dresses, shiny shoes…

Let’s play dress up 
You’re mine
 Muse 


Details | Rhyme | |

Christmas Contradictions

As Christmas morning dawns
And children wake with yawns
Excitement permeates the air
With nary a worry or a care

While miles across both land and sea
Other children pray and plea
As anguish haunts their waking day
To weak to laugh, to frail to play

Those well fed children, some obese
With gifts a plenty, several apiece
Crowding round the Christmas tree
Happy, joyful, so carefree

While other children, worlds apart
With empty stomach and aching heart
Gathered round an empty pot
Despair, hungry amid stench of rot

Those healthy children with toys and stuff
Some spoilt brats that have enough
Often whining, wanting more
With gifts a plenty by the score

While suffering children without food
In shabby huts both stark and crude
Complain not once about their plight
Yet from so little derive delight

So while we run around demented
Stressing about which gifts to buy
Perhaps it is best that we relented
And asked ourselves to question why

And when we talk of Christmas cheer
Perhaps we ought to shed a tear
And spare a thought to those without
Is this not what Christmas is all about!!!


Details | Tanka | |

Those Butterflies

When we were children
We used to catch butterflies
But they died at night
Because when we went to bed
We kept them inside curtain!


Details | Free verse | |

Stolen

A child giggles
Playing a care free game
Runs round and round 
In imaginary circles
The laughter growing uncontrollably

Stolen

A child excited
Explores their new world
Parents guide inquisitive mind
Through the maze of all to learn

Stolen

A child warms
In the arms of their mother
Safe, secure and loved
Gently drifting 
Into peaceful sleep

Stolen

You stole
But never gained
From the very first time
You raised your hand

Stolen 

Replaced laughter with sobbing
Hope with fear
As you struck 
All that was good about you
Was stolen too.


Details | Rhyme | |

Crying for Daddy

I had a void in my life
 That I wasn't completely aware
 Because how could you miss
 Someone that wasn't there?
 I always had imitations
 But never the real thing
 Your absence and neglect
 Were part of my upbringing
 I was jealous of friends
 Who had theirs there
 And I was stuck without one
 Because you didn't care
 I used to constantly wonder
 What I did wrong
 Why did you have another family
 In which I didn't belong
 Introduced to me for the first time
 When I was around the age of nine
 I just stared at you in awe
 And noticed that we looked alike
 At 12 I saw you again
 When you came by my school
 And when you left again
I started to feel blue
 When would I see you next?
 Would you stick around?
 Why don't you see me
 If you stay here in town?
 I wonder, if you would have stuck around
 Would my life have been different?
 Would I still be the same
 If I had both of my parents?
 You weren't around
 I didn't feel protected
 And I really wasn't
 Got me feeling rejected
 If you were here
 He wouldn't have gotten to me
 My innocence intact
 Maintaining my purity
 How could you abandon me?
 How could you leave me alone?
 You never came by to visit
 Or even picked up the phone
 I was bitter for a long time
 Because you chose others before me
 It broke my heart and hurt my feelings
 To not have my own daddy
 You accepted a child that wasn't yours
 But you never tried to raise me
 Can't you understand the confusion
 That your decisions caused me?
 I am 29 years old
 And no man has ever loved me
 I think I may have daddy issues
 Which is why I'm still one deep
 You have been with me for 8 years
 That's not much time at all
 I still can't call you "Daddy"
 Because I still have up that wall
 You don't get to pick your parents
 Some are strong, some are weak
 Some you're proud of, others you're not
 You get what you get, despite what you seek
 Yes I do love you, I really do
 Your blood runs through my veins
 But we still need to catch up
 So you can right all of my pains.


Details | Lyric | |

Falling

~ Falling ~

I was a little girl with so many dreams
Even through the worst of times
I kept my chin up and let 
My dreams keep me alive 
I was okay 
Until my dreams got crushed
And my worst fear came true 

~ Falling ~

With no dreams to lean on 
As I started to go throw the changes 
I was a teenager 
With a huge chip on my shoulder
If you weren’t with me you were against me 
I had many friends 
Yet most of them were superficial 
I never let anyone get too close. 
I was too afraid of 
~ Falling ~

As the years went by I slowly came into my own
I became a woman 
With many scars hidden inside 
Yet it seemed like one word shined brightly on my head
SUCKER
As so many times I thought I had found that one 
Someone only to find out 
That they weren’t that person I wanted them to be 
They were only taking advantage of me 
I didn’t understand why 
I seemed to keep 

~ Falling ~

Finally I moved back closer to home
I found an apartment and made it my home
I was doing well on my own 
Then I met You
First we were friends 
For three years our friendship grew and grew 
Then we both admitted 
The feelings we had for one another were 
Way more than friends 
So we began to date 
Then a few short months later we moved in together
And before we knew it 
Our wedding was here 
I started to feel secure 
I was starting to get over my fear of 

~ Falling ~

Then boom the bomb dropped and I caught 
A glimpse of someone I never knew you to be 
While you never raised a hand at me 
You never did anything to hurt me physically 
It’s your words though 
That cut right through me 
And it became apparent that we were never meant to be
More than friends 
Looking back I can see so many signs 
That before I couldn’t see 
And if I had known then what I know now 
I would never have begged you to stay 
The first time you wanted to walk out that door. 
Now you are gone and here I am 
Moving on 
At first I didn’t think I could 
I thought my world was ending 
I couldn’t see that a new chapter in my life was just 
Beginning
And while I will always love you 
That love has changed 
It is not as deep anymore 
As I am 

~ Falling ~

Out of love with you

By: Jean Shular 


Details | Rhyme | |

I Don't Belong Here

I was born and raised here, 
In the hellhole, 
Called Monroe.
I don’t belong here.
That is horribly why,
I have to go.
I was warped here,
In the Hadean eon.
For what I could reckon,
No apparent reason.
I feel like I’m going, 
In circles steadily,
Traveling alone.

I hate this town. 
It did nothing ,
For me,
But had me believe,
For a very long time,
That I was in a place,
Where you must be
A certain way to be
Somebody.
That I was a nobody,
Going nowhere,
Getting nothing,
With nothing to share.

I don’t belong here.
I’m so disgusted,
 With this place.
I feel like an animal,
Not from the human race.
I am caged, locked up,
They won’t let me out,
Like I’m some type, 
Of wild beast,
With dark fur,
And eyes,
Gazing in doubt.

I really,
Really
Don’t belong here.
It’s so sad to say.
I feel like I’m,
In the prehistoric days
I don’t belong, 
In this place.
I don’t belong, 
In this place.
I don’t belong, 
In the place,
Where I was born,
And raised.



Wrote in August 2004, God brought it back to my mind, as I kept pondering today 7-31-09 
on how bad I want to return to end the madness that is going on in BR, God is calling me to 
be a witness to people in BR, but I feel that the people who can really feel me the most are 
the children who are trapped in  back wood Monroe.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Girl and her Teddy Bear

The little girl cries, alone in her room, holding her teddy bear as the dread sets and looms. 
Crying and shaking, scared to sleep at night, tired of the struggles, tired of the fight. 
With her mom gone all night, and her dad drunk all day, aching to tell but at what price must she pay?
Needing a friend, someone to tell her secrets, someone to pick up all the broken pieces.
To walk to school with, to complain when boys are yucky, but no one like her could ever be that lucky. 
As the tears fill her eyes, and the snot in her nose, her door opens slowly, and the moment there just froze. 
tiptoeing so quietly, into her room, fear starts to spread swept like a broom. 
He fondle her blankets, stops at her waist, she is kicking and screaming for that shell get a taste. 
The man be becomes when he doesn't get his way, she is bleeding so now she must lay. 
When all is done and finished, she cries on her bed, reliving the nothing that is all left unsaid. 
Closing her eyes, she hears him downstairs, as she squeezes her teddy out flow the tears.
Eying the window perched on the wall, she pictures her life and lets herself fall.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Help

Born into a life of wonder and exploring Her parents she looks up to Curious mind roaring her parent adoring What she doesn’t know her faith she would soon lose Years grew old as the child grown And her father gives her these looks Her mother wonders but should have know In husband mind what cooks Mother works hard day by day Father sits and waits Father and child they play all day But by then it would be late “Daddy please don’t hurt me, get off!” Her voice yells with fright “Only one time I swear” He doesn’t really care Next morning comes she wants to die “Mommy why won’t her breath Close her eyes and you believe me” “Oh, darling why would you lie?” Believe me “why?” cries Days go one and months go by No one believe her she can’t go one She grabs her dad’s gun, she begins to cry That father trust is beyond gone She cocks the gun and holds dreams Pulls the trigger and it bring death And the heaven light beams She was raped and it ended her life Because no one listened to her Her life cut short as if by a knife This happened all the time Just listen to the cry


Details | Free verse | |

my destruction.

bright blue skies,
adorned by the type of clouds that call you to lay under their canopy and nap.
and here i am.
a young girl again.
kneeling in the front yard, legs stained green by the dewkissed clovers.
picking apples from where they lay bruised on the ground,
unable to recover from their discovery of gravity.
the air is perfumed by fermented fruit,
apple wine that gets the insects drunk.
in my peasant skirt and barefeet, i have to smile.
INNOCENCE, INNOCENCE, INNOCENCE! my heart screams.
and my lips smile.

my eyes see more than good here. the insects that creep and hop. 
a tiny frog searching for shade or food.
a fat bumblebee working for sweetness.
im large.
ill-bred.
human.
crushing their homes.
i destroy everything.
my body,
my skin,
my heart,
my innocence.
seventeen and already i have destroyed things that i can never repair.
skin itching, becoming inflamed from the dry brittle grass that has been refused 
shelter from the sun.
i continue to destroy,
i am a monster.
i am ugly.
i am human.
and theres nothing i can do,
but continue to destroy.


Details | Bio | |

The Way We Were

Long ago and not so far away on a farm we grew.
Not much did we have, but the clothes on our backs.
Many things wished for, but not received.
Wishing, dreaming, and praying that they would notes us, just once.
Taking care of each other was all we had back then.
Cold and frightened we were most of the time.
As we grew we would find what we thought was love.
Only to find that it  was  not true.
Time has past and now we are grown with family's of our own.
Struggling day to day to find what never was.
A love so true and genuine that you never feel cold and lonely.


Details | Free verse | |

The Child

Too many times, tears on my face,
Too many times…
I don’t remember crisp snow,
White ruffled curtains…laughter
A hand on my hair at night
Before a warm blanket of sleep
Covered me softly.
I only dream these things – they were not.
I remember little dead kittens,
Lonely nights with no sound of music
Filling the void.
A coffin and a man with a bloodstained fist…
Tears…tears.
My beginning,
Molded pottery…
Heavy, hard to break,
Hard to see through – into
Holding much.
I cannot make white curtains now.
For the eyes of my child
Are crimson red.



Details | I do not know? | |

Be With Me

I am sorry
For my misery.
Yet now I feel that
Inner hope is still real
And I regret having all that sadness,
But now I've let it out
And without a doubt.

I now release my inner gladness.
For you all have been here
Inside my heart
And I now refuse to part
From the world.
Because no matter how
Much pain I go through
There's something left to gain
And no I won't let my past
Cause me anymore misery,
Because you will always
Be with me.


Details | Free verse | |

Doubt

on a sunny day it stormed
I love you warm rain
in serenity I meditate
missing joy all my life
deep dark trust  against me
I doubt I'm wrong
must be pain that I suffer
angry soul that is prisoner
if I told you I'm sorry
would you believe in me


Details | I do not know? | |

Farewell To This Life

Time for me to say
My last goodbye.

If this mind and outlook of mine
Won't change once I leave.

Then I may attempt
What I've been thinking of
From within those past years.

I've isolated myself long enough;
So no one will any longer be as close to me.

I've already written and spoken
My truest of feelings.

Some day it may be time for me to say
My last goodbye to whatever happiness
That has been left behind
Deep within my mind.


Details | Rhyme | |

A WISH FOR FREEDOM

Water appeased her thirst momentarily,
would the dehydrated and weak lass
leave any dreg at the bottom of the glass?
With her lice-infested hair she strayed away,
by staring at the fence of barbed wire...
a wish for freedom scorched hotter than fire! 


The teenager girl was not tied up, or held in chains;
neither she called for help, amid sun-dipped canyons
that only coyotes frequented: who would have heard it?
Years ago, she was abducted by a convict and brutally raped.


Before she drank the clear water taken from the rain-filled bucket,
she remembered how precious feedom was...having lots of fun,
running after a kite that flew higher than the blazing sun;
that was a beautiful world: this one was the ugliest place without escape.


Details | Rhyme | |

SEASONAL THOUGHTS

I WISH I COULD GO BACK IN TIME,CHERISH THOSE LOVELY MOMENTS AGAIN.
I WISH I COULD COME OUT OF THIS GLOOMY DISDAIN.
FOR SOMEONE IT'S NOT POSSIBLE TO MEASURE FATHOM OF MY PAIN,
FOR ME IT'S A LONG FOUGHT BATTLE,BUT HARDLY ANY WINS.
I RESURRECT MY SOUL AGAIN JUST TO BRING ANOTHER DEFEAT
MY HEART TURNED TO SHARD FALLING APART PIECE BY PIECE,
SO BRITTLE AND SHALLOW IT HARDLY BEATS.
THE ALLEGORIES I HEARD ALL MY CHILDHOOD ARE FAR FROM TRUTH,
THE ARDOURS THEY CARRY,MUST BE A MYTH
A TILT TOWARDS WORLDLY WAYS,
IT'S QUITE PLAUSIBLE TO BE JANUS-FACED.
A SIMULACURAM OF YOUR SOUL PLACED IN SOME DIFFERENT FRAME,
OBVIOUS IT IS I DO PRACTISE THE SAME.
AN ADROIT & AFFABLE PERSON TO THE  WORLD OUTSIDE,
A TRUTH DIFFICULT TO COMPREHEND......
A LONE WALKER FROM INSIDE.

PS- DEEP IN MY THOUGHTS I SCRIBBLE SOMETHING...
       FEW BIZARRE WORDS AND A SET OF CLUMSY FEELINGS.


Details | I do not know? | |

Bitter Sea Spirit

A sea made up of a million tears...
Drowning whatever comes near
The forgotten and broken soul.
Bitter spirit
Pushing away
The ships of friendship and love
With waves of rage.
Erasing history
And throwing those into a cage,
To make them see how it feels
Being in such inner pain.
High tides flood the land
Never has the bitter sea spirit felt so grand
In destroying all those who had a hard time
Trying to understand.


Details | ABC | |

The Real Me

They look at me 
And see the girl
Who lives inside
A ghetto world
But don't believe
That's all there is in me
You'll never know the real me....
I'm sad among a thousand words
And frowns along a thousand smiles
I'm incomplete
Words just cannot explain
They'll never know the real me..
They'll never know the real KhaiB.


Details | Free verse | |

THE REDKNUCKLE STORYTELLER

Greetings from the RedKnuckle Storyteller,you may find he;s ann odd kind of feller.
Though he'll do his best to write from the heart,and what you don't like you may always tear 
apart.You see,this storyteller has lived an awful life.A life without family,children,a beautiful 
wife.Now some may say my poetry expresses my pain,others say it's a release in anger I 
gain.Personally I write about a society in grief,so many hurting with no sign of relief.I am so 
proud of every man,woman,child from these hoods,for when it comes to unity and strive they 
truly deliver the goods.With the streets getting younger every day,what's a careing man do 
but kneel down and pray.These are our children out there,so who's in charge to step up and 
care..It pains me, that i'm but a single voice heard.who's only given inspiration is sometimes 
a single word.Now go find a drink and a comfortable chair.For we are about to embark on a 
poetry journey where others would'nt dare.

Dedicated to all the missing Women in Vancouvers lower East end.

(MAY THEY NOT BE FORGOTTEN!)  PEACE AND LOVE... T.R.K S


Details | Free verse | |

Repeat Nightly

Close my eyes
See your face
Blood runs cold
Body starts to sweat
Eyes jerk open 
Frozen in fear
Listen for footsteps
Will this be the night
She kills me in my sleep
Flee from my bed
Retreat to Mom and Dad
Sleep on the floor
Beside their bed
Repeat nightly


Details | Elegy | |

Bittersweet

So on this day 6 years ago a child was born,
my precious daughter, who deep inside still mourns.

Although she is young she will always be sad,
knowing the one that is not home is her dad.

There's said to always be a special connection between daughter and father,
but this has been taken away by a mother and when it comes to our marriage, won't even bother.

Will she feel blame in the years to come?
That her mother and fathers marriage has come undone.

I can only hope that she dose not harbor anger at her parents,
mom and dad apart adds to the torment.

For my part I never wanted it to be this way for her,
I'm nothing more that a memory to mother and daughter.

So on this day I remember seeing my child's first breath of air,
now all I can see is a girl that mom and dad must share.

On this day life is bittersweet, cause I am no longer part of home,
another day of celebration with me left all alone.


Details | Rhyme | |

Hidden

A play on words is said,
Lying in your bed,
Always feeling dead, 
Stand and shake your head,
Don't look at what bled.

The words you meant to keep,
Never let them hear you speak,
All a constant bleak,
Show you are not meek, 
Look in to the world and shriek.

Don't let your feelings show,
Keeping silent hidden low, 
Hide from all you owe,
Spill all that was in tow,
Tell them "No!"

Hide who you are,
Held back from afar,
Life like tar,
Wield your scar,
Break free from your mar.


Details | Free verse | |

Confined

"Confined" I am here, with no way out. A place that’s hidden, without a doubt. No hope for rescue, and no chance for escape. Will this be my final resting place? No way to tell whether its night or day. Darkness and silence are all that stay. What goes through my mind is all I have, Left with the memories of a dead mom and dad. Worse than the loneliness of my dark quiet cell, Are the memories of the loneliness I remember too well, And the childhood I spent with no love and no home. This cell soon becomes the escape from my passed, And now this vacant cell seems bright, and vast.


Details | I do not know? | |

Silent Cries

My tears began to flow like the blood from my ****** when he raped me.

It’s crazy how he looks into my eyes & can’t seem to see himself.

The spitting image of him, I wonder if he was raped like he’s raping me.

With every thrust it feels like my insides are being ripped apart

and life begins to seep out of my body.

He starts to pant & jerk letting me know he is done.

As he leaves the room, I am too weak to move.

Closing my eyes, I begin to pray, “Dear Lord please hear my cries”.

I know my mother who’s in the room next to me hears my cries but is to highed up to even care.

She ignores the fact that my ****** looks played with, abused, and misused.

MY OWN FATHER RAPED ME & my mother ignored it.


Details | I do not know? | |

once

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Chops"

because that was the name of his dog

And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A



And his mother hung it on the kitchen door


That was the year that Father Tracy

took all the kids to the zoo

And he let them sing on the bus

And his little sister was born

with  no hair

And his mother and father kissed a lot

And the girl around the corner sent him a valentine signed with a row of X's

and he had to ask his father what the X's meant

And his father always tucked him in bed at night

And was always there to do it.


Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Autumn"

because that was the name of the season

And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

and asked him to write more clearly

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

because of its new paint

And the kids told him

that Father Tracy smoked cigars

And left butts on the pews

And sometimes they would burn holes

That was the year his sister got glasses

with thick lenses and black frames

And the girl around the corner laughed

when he asked her to go see Santa Claus

And the kids told him why

his mother and father kissed a lot

And his father never tucked him in bed at night

And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it.


Once on a paper torn from his notebook

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Innocence: A Question"

because that was the question about his girl

And that's what it was all about

And his professor gave him an A

and a strange steady look

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because he never showed her

That was the year that Father Tracy died

And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's Creed went

And he caught his sister making out on the back porch

And his mother and father never kissed or even talked

And the girl around the corner wore too much makeup that made him cough when he kissed her

but he kissed her anyway because that was the thing to do

And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed

his father snoring soundly.


That's why on the back of a brown paper bag

he tried another poem

And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"

Because that's what it was really all about

And he gave himself an A

and a slash on each damned wrist

And he hung it on the bathroom door

because this time he didn't think

he could reach the kitchen.


Details | I do not know? | |

I want to go back

I wish to go back to that day 
where everything turned the other way 

I would not change a thing 
I would watch and listen 
As my heart starts to sings 

I wish to go back 
To when I was a little girl 
And everything was right 
When I never had to fight 

And I'd whisper to her 
never cry yourself to sleep at night 

I wish to go back 
To when I met my best friend 
When are memories had no end

To remind myself 
No matter what heartache or strife 
Friends don't let you solve a problem with a knife 

I'd go back to the time I held her in my arms and cried 
Because it wasn't fair 
To watch her falling apart right there 

I wish to go back 
I want to go back 
Please take me back!

But let me stay 
Because i want to look back on me at fourteen 
With my heart on fire 
And my eyes with a gleam


Details | Free verse | |

Soulful Cries

I scream, at the top of my lungs
No sound, comes out
Silent, curdling screams
Is, all I have left, now
I wrestle; I fight, with all, my physical might
While, being forced down 
By the mighty strength, of many men
The pungent smells of dirt, sweat and grime
Embed, in my senses
Their ghastly hot breathes; making me, want to puke!
Their hands, all over me
Constantly grabbing and groping me
Hollering and cheering each other on
Then, someone punches me
Someone, I cannot see
A large man’s hand, covers my nose and mouth
Muffling my soulful cries, terrifying, my insides!

I can’t breathe, now!

Many heavy handed blows, follow
In a blurry haze
I watch, my scarlet red blood splatter
Upon the snow white sheets, that surround
My sacred blood spilled
My salty tears mixed in with sticky men’s semen
My body, a raging torrent of scorching hot lava
Lulling into a translucent, entranced state
Surrendering, to the primal, animalistic frenzy
The men, taking what they want, anyway they want it
Devouring every morsel left ,of my weak and weary body
My body fighting, for its God given right
To live, now!
My life flashes before my eyes
The sounds around me begin to fade
My eyes glaze over, my body goes limp
My body betraying me, when I need her the most!
Silently, I pray for this is not my will, but their own
“Have mercy upon these souls” 
“Please forgive these men, as I do, now
“My love remains with you, heavenly Father”
Blackened tears of jet black mascara
Weave their way down
Through the bloody crevasses, of my black & blued skin
My body used up, a lifeless vessel, totally numb!
My innocence and dignity stripped!
No one, can save me, the worst is done!
Bashed, beaten, worn
I am nothing, no more...


Details | I do not know? | |

my unfortunate excuse of a father

ill have to hide my money, from your greedy hands.
wow stealing from a kid and your a grownup man.
youll be at home ill be at school
me worrying about you sealing all our food.

ill need a lock to my bedroom door
so you dot sneak in and steal some more.
i know what ill find when i come home
an empty house,me ll alone

our hope, youll steal, my money, youll take
then youll be be gone, dude your such a fake
i hide in my room now thinking about how
my life will be with you around.


Details | I do not know? | |

will you ever know

I don’t think you’ll ever know How the love I had for you was like no other How willing I was to do anything you asked me How far I went to make you happy and failed But only wanting to ever make you proud I don’t think you’ll ever know When I said I love you with my whole heart When I said daddy I want to be just like you When I said id love you till I die and then some Because it came deep from the heart I don’t think you’ll ever know How handsome I thought you were How much I loved every little thing about you even your flaws How much I just wanted you to care about me Because you’re my dad and I was supposed to be daddy’s girl I don’t think you’ll ever know How much I hated it when you yelled How all I ever wanted was to see you laugh How my heart beat with joy every time I saw you smile Because you were my daddy I don’t think you’ll ever know How much pain I suffered How many nights I cried in a row How many times my heart broke into more and more pieces Because all I ever wanted was you to care My dad, the one and only dad That will never be replaced by any other that will never be erased from my memories some were good some were bad, I’ve never stopped trying to make you proud I love you I always will and I hope maybe, just maybe one day, my dreams will come true Maybe you’ll know now how much I love you! And you will be proud


Details | Free verse | |

Growing Up

From the moment I am jarred awake by the obnoxious summoning of my electronic
sergeant,
To the time when my deep down soul tiered eyes finally close and the restless tossing
begins:
I am Me. Balancing on the edge of adulthood, I am
            Intelligent, competent, goal oriented.
            Motivated, captivating, passionate.
            All put together, I have all the answers.
            Self-giving, I’ll stay up with you all night.
My carefully constructed ensemble of black and white
And painstakingly painted on mystic
Hold me together.
But in the small moments (In the bathroom,
Just before a lecture begins,
While I search of a missing shoe)
I am just a kid. (Asking “What am I doing here?” and “How did I get so far from home?”)
Mommy, please tell me what to do.
Daddy, hold me so the monsters won’t get me (read to me, hug me, feed me love me, 
kiss
me, and tell me I’ll always be your little girl).
All around me are all these people doing all the things I never want to do on my own.
I am Me. Backing away from adulthood, I am
            Scared of being alone forever.
            Confused about everything from men to global warming.
            Broken inside.
            Desperate for love.
            Dancing in my own personal Hundred Acre Woods.
At night I leap on to Totoro’s tummy and fly across ancient forests.
I cry in the shower when I miss all the people who have taken my heart to the corners of
the world.
I read picture books when the sun sparkles through the window on long Sunday
afternoons.
I watch cartoons and shadows try to make me cry.
I love chocolate and tea parties and warm wind that smells like hot grass.
My favorite place is the world is in bed while my haha reads to me.
            Or next to my chichi watching Darkwing Duck.
            Or snuggled under covers with my imouto talking about nothing.
How will I save my kids from the monsters under the bed that still nibble on my toes in 
the
dark hours of the morning?
How will the 8 year old in me ever walk down the aisle and become one with a 20
something year old man?
How can I grow up and save the world when the fairies of my childhood games are flitting
around my face, calling me back to the happiness and safety?
When I don’t know what is wrong with the world?
When I still cry when the other kids are mean to me?
 
When I am just a kid myself.


Details | Free verse | |

The Ugliest Girl in the World

I’m the ugliest girl in the world
I hide on the outside
With make up
With curls
When I’m thin people like me
Congratulations!
What an achievement
For abandoning myself
When I’m fat, people like me
Ugliness peeks through
So witty!
So smart!
So talented!
Thank god she’s fat!
In between
Mother says with mother bias
What a pretty face
Father says with male bias
I’m an 8 out of 10
Thanks, Dad
Lovers know what I want to hear
But won’t say
It will seem false
It will be false
After all
I am the ugliest girl in the world

Lovers compliment others
Words never said to me
For I am ugly
If I had the right kind of knife
I’d carve an X into my face
Diagonal
Right to left
Diagonal
Left to right
X-ed out
Then there would be no question
It’s the wondering that kills me

Maybe, maybe it doesn’t matter
Maybe, maybe I’m pretty
This woman lives in me, somewhere
Battling my ugly
Battered by my ugly
In me, two people who despise each other
No one sees my wounds
Agonizing wars, b*tches brawl
If I had the right kind of knife
I’d cut them right out of my chest
Leaving a void
Where the pain was
A void
My ugly pain
MY ugly
Where would I be without my ugly?


Details | List | |

Abuse

Trying to forget what she's seen for years
She starts to cry
She's 13 and ready to leave
Without even saying good-bye
Her parents have beat her black and blue
Not saying or telling her why
She looks around the room one last time
And lets out a little sigh
Leaving this time would bot be harder
Since she's done this thing before
She picks up her bag
And walks right out the door
She doesn't know where she's going
She doesn't care
But she knows one thing for sure
She's never coming back
She whispers a soft good-bye


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

Memories haunt and yet they lead.
They help us to find our way.
Memories bring choices with comparisons made.
Memories lead to decisions as corners we turn.
But memories are fluid and change as life goes on.
We forget and discard what we don’t want.
Later we revisit and change images again.

Resentments change to love and care long lost.
Achievements verses what we gave up.
Even wrong can become trying to do right.
Other viewpoints open the older we become…
Then we revisit and memories change again.
Memories can be truth or lies, but they are always…
As fluid as the life from which they come.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Cycle Lives On

A girl child is born given life brand new
To a mother so proud and a daddy too
Elsewhere mother gives a baby boy life
Daddy's not there he's at home with his wife
One day daddy's gone Baby girl wonders why
Baby boy hides his hunger so mommy don't cry
One mommy works from morning into the night
The other works streets sleeping thru daylight
Each mother making the best of her situation
Children denied mothers love and appreciation
Each child raise themselves all, alone
Kids with no childhood forced to be grown
A two parent love they'll never get to learn
15 years old to each others they will turn
Not knowing true love thinking theirs real
Only both parents love they sought to fulfill
A mother gives a girl life as they do a son
They're but babies, at 15 innocence gone
Reality of broken homes, the cycle lives on



Details | Free verse | |

Music Box Dancer

Once upon a time 
So full of grace
Like a music box dancer 
She soared through life
A welcomed addition 
To the human race
Only 17 she was 
When in marched the cancer
Cancer in the form of an evil man
Never did she imagine 
The destruction to come 
Body mind and soul
Broken like stained glass 
I see the distant beauty in her eyes
Mascara spilling her dreams on the pavement
Melting into different hues of the rainbow 
She had lost herself completely
Going through the motions of her life
Like performing marionettes 
To forgive and somehow forget
Was always within her to my amazement
Over time she learned to turn a blind eye
She just didn’t have any more tears to cry


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

I'm sitting here
Surrounded by people
But so alone.
They don't seem to notice my pain
Only concerned with themselves
And their fake friend's gossip.
What went wrong.

I don't have anymore energy
I feel like giving up and 
Sinking into the background. 
Be ignored or forgotten.
But I want them to care about me
Listen to me.

Where is my confidence
Where is my voice.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Broken Wings

Free spirit, free soul soars through the air without a care in the world.
Flying high soaring through the air in an impetuous yet carefree way...

Stunned by sudden conflict , falls to prey...

Broken wing among a pure soul, hard to fly hard to soar, hard to make 
it through its journey, falls in a humbled way...

All it sees as it falls lifeless through the air is the mistakes it made 
as it falls to its decay.....

Falling hard, falling fast it knows the path taken was a wrongful one as
it falls in dismay.....

Broken heart, broken wings, can not fly anymore for it knows
this is its final destination, a life taken too soon by its own 
desolation.


Details | Free verse | |

Happy Days

My life was not a happy one but I can still recall some good times.
My father was a lousy one though my mother was just fine.
I grew up with no money never knowing the finer things of life.
I never did drugs or steal and I did not think about it twice.
I grew up becoming a nice child, but had shyness like that of a mouse.
I was never invited to parties and was always left out.
I made some friends despite of it all and good ones no doubt.
No my life was not a happy one, but maybe this will change.
Until then I can dream of happy days.


Details | Free verse | |

Remember, Sister

Remember 
The voice that woke you up in the morning
Disremember 
The arguments that altered into mourning
Consider 
The affectionate memories that we cherish the most 
Don’t consider 
The horrifying hours that we have not spent with each other
Reflect on
The blissful Sabbaths that we’ve kept with the whole family
Don’t reflect on
The unholy conversations that we bring up at the dinner table

But do remember
The joyful dreams that we share with each other! 
But do remember
That you are beautiful and you are worthy to find your true love, 
My cherished sister

Do you still consider our eccentric, dreamlike characters?
Do you still consider our imaginations soaring like a golden eagle, flying triumphantly?


Details | Free verse | |

the pain of a users daughter

Her consistancy finally persuaded you to stay,
it still upsets me sometimes that she convinced you to treat your only daughter this way,
i know her addiction must be very tough, and i know crystal is her name
i used to look up to you, i used to tell my friends how lucky i was to have a dad like you,
but, that was the past befoure, meth became your soul, befoure you spun out of control,
i don't know if you ever think about the pain you have caused,
my innocent soul shattered to pieces, my heart broken while, my eyes were wide open,
no morphine can stop this uncontorolable pain, all the traumatizing memories consantly racking threw my insecure teenae brain,
i thought you could fight the addiction,
but, the truth is, you love her more than you love me,
i never knew you would fail me like this,
you looked me straight into my tear filled eyes and you and crystal told me a lie,
crystal has took away your honor of being called dady now your just my biological father,
she will follow you to your death bed, while your laying there alone and so filled with fear, you'r personality always filled with blame, its so sad to know she put you to shame and you can only blame yourself
you will not let her go; so i must say good bye


Details | Quatrain | |

Left For Dead

They thought she was a loser
and they laughed at all her pain.
They chose to just ignore her
when she started to complain.

They took her so deep under
that she wondered if she'd live.
Then she heard a voice inside her
say she had so much to give.

They did just what they wanted.
They could hurt her everyday.
They could say she'll never make it
but she knew she'd break away.

They left her how they liked her
as she curled up in a ball.
Of course she couldn't stand up, 
she was so very small.

The one thing that they gave her
was her faith she had in prayer.
That's all she ever needed
to begin her life out there.

They didn't know the favor
they had done for her instead.
They made her a survivor
when they left her there for dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

blake

to think he finally found his answer to 
releif,
would only leave pain and greif.
to end his own suffering and 
pain.
what would friends and family have to gain?
his life felt pointless thanks to past pain,abuse, and lifes trials and tribulations.
suicide was not tha answer,
if he only knew he shoulda been thankful.
what he went through was horrible 
yes
but staying possitive was tha 
test.
everything happens for a reason,
to find strength in god to breathe another season.
this was not destiny nor 
fate.
he had a whole life ahead of him now its to
late.
now near a casket they sit at his wake.
maybe it coulda been prevented if he knew he wasnt alone
instead of taking a life in his own home..
Reach out your not alone
god has a purpose for all us.....


Details | Free verse | |

domestic battlefield

a neglected yearning
orphaned, long before death
concealed in view
obscured to the world
a parting conductor; reflected
an isolated pair
left without


Details | Free verse | |

Home Sweet Home

Home Sweet Home
My childhood home
Is cherished 

Memories filled with
Silver and gold
And sometimes pure cold.

No one told me
It would go with me
Where ever I go 

When I roam from
Town to town
I carry it with me

I open the door
Each night when
I go to sleep
And dream.

I can’t shake
What I learned
And what I didn’t 
Learn inside 
My honeycomb

I can’t stop
Moaning 
About that
Home.


Details | ABC | |

Let her now run

Outside your window 
a withard horse 
has no strength or ambition 
to finish its coarse 

but what shes accomplished is more then enough 
when it comes her time , shes had it to rough 
until her last breath she will do her best 
to impress 

or is it not enough that she's given her life to please you 
never once stepped on your toes always listen to your commands 
jumped the highest fences , applied herself to every demand 

stood in the pouring rain to prove she was strong enough 
worked in scortching heat just because you asked her to 

but maybe its time you set her free 
to stride in the sunset to her own fantasy 
relieve her of the reins you held down on her neck 
and insted of dirt let her run in the medows 

Give her a life she hasn't yet experienced  
let her no her work is done 
and that she has done well 
let her now run <3 


Details | Rhyme | |

Those Four Words

“Don’t you get pregnant” were the words that I heard
While the salty tears fell making my vision blurred.
I thought I could confide in her; she was my best friend.
I didn’t know my confession would put us at the end.
To hear that her man was molesting me was hard
And my words were leaving her emotionally scarred.
She would much rather believe that I was a liar
Than to believe I was the one her man had a desire.
It is much easier to disregard the painful truth
Than to know her man drank daily from the fountain of youth.
Anger in those 4 words; fury painted her beautiful face;
I yearned for her to hold me but I never got that embrace.
Trembling from the shock, I just laid there in disbelief,
That I knew my childhood would be riddled with such grief.
Violated by the one that I trusted and not a soul cared,
Losing sleep at night because I would lay awake scared,
I was alone in this battle, one that I didn’t have to fight,
A battle that I lost constantly for years every single night.
My predator, my perpetrator, my nighttime terror
And only because she didn’t want to seem like a failure.
Feeling betrayed, I had no choice but to accept my fate--
That she cared not that I suffered at the hands of her mate.


Details | Free verse | |

Not ready at all and running scared.

All my life I have been itching to be free
Be let loose
Let go
But now, I'm not so sure
I don't know what to do
Just thinking about the day I become an adult
Scares me
How am I going to make it on my own?
How will I survive with out my mom?
She has always been there for me
Always been by my side
How am I going to do it without her
I'll have to pay my own bills
And go to work and school
And College
Its mind blowing
I wish I hadn't already lived 18 years
Half my life is gone
And what do I have to show for it
Scars and bad memories
I wish I could restart my life from the beginning 
I feel like a goldfish in the ocean.
I am not ready
Not ready at all
I'm tumbling into the ocean


Details | Blank verse | |

Daydreams

She stares out the car window
Solemn and quiet 
Compared to the heated argument 
That just erupted in the front seat...
She daydreams
Waiting for the day she can leave;
Get away from this living hell
Far as she can run
Make her own decisions;
Her own life
Out from under Daddy's thumb...
Its always the same;
The fights, 
Then stony silence for days
The hidden bruises
The pain-
Physical and emotional hurt-
Hypocritical lectures from 
''The Master'' (Daddy)
Ruined relationships;
She lives with a broken heart-
Broken and half-way healed
So many times
It feels like it was never whole-
Tears trickle down her cheeks
She quickly rubs them away
Before Daddy sees.
And she daydreams again...


Details | Free verse | |

Her Words

She hits me with her
Words.
Slashing and bruising
Till there's no more space.
Crammed in my
mind. No more.
Jagged, Pointed and Spiked.

They prowl and pounce.
Stalk their prey.
She uses them.
Words.
Feeds them,
Trains them to 
Target me.

She makes them drown me
Weigh me down
And chock me.
There is no escape
It's dark. These
Words.
Too Powerful for me.

I scream.
I cry
She will always win.


Details | I do not know? | |

"Looking Within"

For four years,
A little girl only shivered,prayed,and shed tears,
No one would open their ears,
She screams out for help yet no one hears.
The police ain't even on her side,
She's crying out from the inside,
But no one still listens to her outside,
She wants to just run and hide,
She don't believe anyone would mind.
What's the world coming to she wonders,
And her mind just ponders,
I sit and pray for the pain and fear in her eyes,
It's her against the world and that's what she can't stand it's what she despise,
No one hears her cries,
So called "Christian" people broke her down mentally,
Beat her down physically,
Abuse her sexually,
And she didn't even do well socially.
She was told no one will hear her cries and will always remain a nobody,
Where was everybody,
She eventually realize she is a somebody.
Only one person saved her from all the madness,
Saved her from all the sadness.
There the Almighty God was standing there holding her,
Until she could have the last hope of courage to tell her mother,
Hoping she be saved from all this harm,
So maybe she could see if this world finally had open arms.
She was saved at last,
When she thought she would just have to give in with a gasp,
Now she's strong and not dealing with the past.
Thank the Lord for making it fast,
It's finally the end,
And she doesn't ever have to face it again.


Details | ABC | |

Freedom is here

I look and see nothing
I`m hurt and don’t feel it
I grow up and do not understand 
But freedom is here.

My fellow man is smiling
My enemy is crying
My life goes on just the same
But freedom is here.

I`ll try to keep it
I`ll try to destroy it 
I`ll try to embrace it
But freedom is here.

A child without food
A heart without love
A soul without morale
But Freedam is here.

Freedom Come 
Freedom Stay
Freedom is here
But are we free?





Details | Free verse | |

My wish

She wipes a tear
From her eye
Her pain still shows.
Her hands are small,
But her heart seems old.

Oh how I wish
I could rewind
the hands of time
and make this child
young again.

To when she smiled
To when you were here
and saddness wasn't
her only friend.


Details | Verse | |

The Grass Is Cut

I can see you dancing on the lawns, innocence, 
laughing, running, arms carefree and unabashed.
Your vision holds me, as if held in a moment of such 
happiness and magic that I can barely think to breath.
But as a distant sound breaks my dream, I feel the 
emptiness once more.
No warmth of a breeze can break my fall from that high 
place.
How then should someone address their loneliness 
when all that was their life has gone from their touch.
When all that changed them from nothing to something 
has itself turned to nothing but for an aching love.
It cannot be left by the bed in the morning when you 
wake and picked up again at a time of nostalgia,
or left downstairs when you ascend the steps at night 
in hope of sleep.
It is you and it is your love... it is what you have 
and it is why you are.... 
Emptiness ... fullness of feeling... it is because 
they were... and they still are.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

A Womans Touch

The gates of hell have been violently open. The world begins to rumble and scatter in fear. Earth’s volcanoes spew magma and ash from its core. The clouds quickly gather as the thunder and lightning signal the wrath to come. Earth’s crust opens its mouth ready to swallow cities and nation’s whole. Suddenly a white and peaceful light emerges from the horizon. This elegant and stunning figure seems not all frightened by all the chaos. She gingerly kisses and hugs the tormented man. All of this madness was inside the man’s mind. The stress and pressure of life almost got to the man. Drugs and alcohol never gave him relief but all it took was a woman’s touch.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dreaming of Space

There was once a lad who dreamed of Mars,
of flying high to see the moon and stars.
But his heart his family did break,
when all his dreams his family did take.


Details | Lyric | |

Big Sister

If her pain serves to please you
She is all out of words
If her joy won’t amuse you
Her trust will be reserved
She’s begun to realise
That she’s not all at fault
Deep beneath those hate-filled words
She sees your true revolt

Oh such verbal skill you have
Howls harsh reality
As deep beneath the silence
Screams your veracity
Buried ashes of someone
Who hasn’t even wilted
She’s still alive, so don’t give up
Connections are just jilted

Wade through the stupidity
of your churlish stubborn ways
That negative energy
To get you through the days
Rummage for responses
Slave labour you can keep
Contagious as those bitter words
Adrenaline pumps deep

Pull in those reigns that haunt you
Take off your amour now
Bite your nails down to the quick
This hurt you should allow
Be sorry, please recognise
All those wasted chances
Now they’re gone, and it’s too late
All-in wicked glances
Comments shoot straight to the bone
Leave scars the blades so sharp
Immune to those words she’s known
Leave pin pricks in her heart

To peel away in the heat
Leave her raw and exposed
Naked, pour out empty threats
Words are super imposed
Skin etches out the journey
Grows each autumn and spring
Overbearing bitterness 
Twisted comments brewing
You will not admit but some days you miss her
Your partner in crime, your big sister


Details | Bio | |

Muted Shyness

Muted shyness

A failures frown and a sunken smile written across my face
My uncomfortable eyes and suspicious looks darting all around

I try to hide these tremoring hands and tapping feet
My racing heart and shallow breath are easier to disguise

Contradicting mind, thoughts accelerate yet no words make sound,
Just an outer shell muted by this curse
An extravert inside of me which doesn’t allow the world to see

Judgemental feelings, am I weak?
Every thought to speak overwhelms me,
Each sentence and word combine they mix and form to one
A senseless mould of comprehension which appears and then it’s gone

Fear of embarrassment and rejection is now a rule, a belief imprinted in my soul
Looked upon with fear, aggression or pity

It’s holding him back I hear them say, believing I am not seen as I am not heard
Furious that they say these things, it only makes it worse

Given time and no issue made, I will show you who I am
For I am, I’m me


Details | ABC | |

Alot In Me

Afraid to sleep at night
Too much on my mind
And I pray that god
Will guide my heart
Will save me right in time
And my joy melts into stressing
I have no one to lift me high
And now the madness in me
Is gathering
Having no where left to hide
Every day in my life,
There's a problem I have to find inside
But somewhere inside my heart,
A diamond lies deep inside
And I hope I'm gonna be saved in time
So you see I got a lot in me
But there's more than this for me
When god lands his hands to heal my heart
I'll be just fine
And the madness that surrounds my heart
It shatters as they land
See I grew up on a painful road.
But I learned to block the pain
No, I wont give up tomorrow
Because I'll come to life
Again


Details | I do not know? | |

The Bathroom

He sought to find me once 
He succeeded
Thirteen years had passed since the attack
Why is it that you seek me?
Reluctantly I asked
His answer
"Because people get older and wiser and whatever you believe may have happened in the 
past may not truly be what happened. Were grown now and we have no need to lie hun.... "
Conversation over.
Did I mistake the events that took place on that sun abandoned day?
Is he implying that I spoke words of deceit...lies?
Is it wise to call a woman you attempted to intimately violate "hun"?
But I was there
In the dark
Hands reaching for me as from the grave
From the murky depths of perversion
Touching and grabbing
Hands trying to fit down my pants
Fingers crawling inside my shirt
Unidentified lips on my body
Appendage hitting me across the face...intentionally
I fought with every breath in my body
Forty minutes of struggle with multiple assailants
The blinding darkness kept me from ever knowing how many there were
Could have been ten
Like wolves they were
Trying to ravish their prey
With him leading the pack
The one I trusted
I kept hearing his voice
They tried to take my shoes off
That was the hardest part of the fight
I knew I had to keep my shoes on
I was done if they came off
My jeans would go soon after
I had to keep my shoes on
I later realized it saved me
From being pillaged 
From being raped
Some days I wonder why this trouble found me
I was only fifteen
I was a child
So were they
We all lost ourselves that day
Somewhere in the darkness
I like to believe that God was floating above us
Whispering to me "Be still, I am here, there is a purpose for this"
I still await the day I realize the purpose
I stand confident that day will come
This is not a story
This is my life 
It really happened 
And it happened to me



Read more: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/the-bathroom/#ixzz0taHU74XV


Details | Rhyme | |

To Write What is Asked

Irritable and out of sorts,
Jumbled emotions fill me up.
I want to write, but it hurts.
The topic, with sadness, erupts.

"A sad memory", the challenge was
But mine is sad beyond compare.
Not something I am prepared to write,
Feelings brought forth, too much to bare.

I shall attempt to put on paper
The saddest day in memory
But these are ghosts best left alone
And memories that need not be free.


Details | Narrative | |

Innocent Child

Raping my soul
with your angry thrusts
of domination
ceasing to exist
of your internal penetration
and your violation of my spirit.

Lost and confused
my feelings and emotions 
became immune.

A ruined and battered person
from your violent anger
and negative power.

Keeping me prisoner
in my own cell of fears.

Sleepless nights
nightmares of your face
reliving those moments
over and over again in my head.

You stole my essence.

It was not yours to begin with.

Robbing my innocence with your sick
and twisted ways.

I was just a child who thought it was a game.

Trying to lure me into hidden shadows to do the same.

I ran away but could not forget
or forgive without regret.

Feeling ashamed and blaming myself
for something I did not create.

I was too young to understand
to heal from my ordeal.

Time stood still when I was seven
from my living hell to my beautiful heaven.


Details | Rhyme | |

WHEN I WAS GROWING UP

When I was growing up,
The things that I went through,
None pleasant for me,
And wouldn't be for you.
Believe in what I say,
Cause every bit is true.
When I was growing up,
I didn't have a clue.
My parents always yelling,
Moms face was black and blue.
Pushing, pulling back and forth,
I don't know what to do.
Dad turns around and tells me,
It’s all because of you.
When I was growing up,
I always smelled of pine.
Cleaning up forever
The dust, the dirt and grime.
Getting up for school
Way before it's time.
If there was a problem,
I'd pretend that I was fine,
I remember, if I didn't,
The spankings would be mine.
There was no talking ever,
I felt just like a mime.
The punishments I got,
They never fit the crime.
I even got in trouble,
For writing this here rhyme.


Details | Haiku | |

The slums children

By the Gulshan lake
The slum's children play cricket
On a tiny land! 


Details | Rhyme | |

Heavenly Tree

Ghostlike rage Haunts me…it smothers me… I can’t handle the smell of burning sage It overpowers me…will I EVER be free? Sweltering rage Grasps on to me…it bothers me… I can’t expose my courage on stage It’s horrendous…will you EVER pay the fee? Childlike mirth Reigns upon me…It chases after me... I can’t let loose my youthful imagination, flipping page to page It towers over me…will I EVER joyfully flee? Heavenly birth Recoils from affliction… tracking me down… I can’t shed the grief that lead to rage It pulls me back…will I EVER be a budding tree?


Details | I do not know? | |

Golden Butterflies & Forever Fountains

i chased you around in circles
until we both were out of breath
you caught me a golden butterfly
and watched me as you let it go
we danced in forever fountains
and got caught up in our dreams
we told each other secrets
and made promises we could never keep
we kissed each other's innocence
and watched it fly in forever fountains
like golden butterflies sometimes do


Details | Rhyme | |

Secrets

The sad little child
With the broken down smile
Thought how could this be
Why no one could see
This pain I've endured
While the cries go unheard
By the secrets kept silent
Behind closed doors

Of a room filled with fear
And what footsteps would bring
And hoping for morning
Just wishing for sleep,
Or somewhere to hide
Under the covers
Or inside of my dreams
Till the nightmare is over
And the child is set free
From the secrets kept silent
By the one's who should love me


Kevin D. Fix


Details | I do not know? | |

Stay Young

Sleeping peacefully without a care at all
Little do you know that we're all gonna fall Down, way down So young and careless You have no awareness All you do is eat and play You don't understand what we have to say It must be nice to young like you Once upon a time I was young too But then I grew older And the world grew colder I wish it was still the same way I wish the young and careless days would stay No one could break your heart No one could tear you apart You didn't worry about war All the problems you could ignore Cause you didn't know That your parents money was running low You didn't know you would have no home How could you have known? It must be nice to be that age So full of love, you have no real rage I was that age once upon a time Then I grew up and knew what it was like when you didn't have a dime To worry, would you eat the next night Wondering, will everything be alright? Will you survive? Or will the next morning come and you'll no longer be alive What it's like to have a broken heart What it's like to be torn apart What it's like be all alone What it's like to feel unkown But you are too young to know Though there's much time until you grow So enjoy what time you have still I hope that you will Kid, stay happy, you have nothing to worry about But know, when you don't get what you want, don't scream and shout Cause in life you don't always get everything you want And you'll learn that one day I have nothing left to say I just wish I was younger again I wish I could rewind five years, or ten So stay young while you can Cause you can't be young again


Details | Senryu | |

A Friendly Bishop

A friendly Bishop…
In Angel’s weary eyes lies 
The color of sin


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Daddy's Day

Its daddy’s day 
I went to work
At my fathers every turn
Hanging on to every word

Until I saw the birdie
It was huge 
Coming ever closer
Sneaking up on me

I turned to see 
But it was gone
My daddy told me
It was time to go

We ran down the steps 
I was on his shoulders
It was a bumpy ride
Everyone was running around me

I asked why?
He said it was the birdie
I turned around but I couldn’t see
But there were to many people around me
  
We were heading to the bottom
Everyone was following me 
They pushed and shoved
Until I fell from my daddy’s arms 

I called and called “Daddy”
Everyone stepped on me still
I sat on the ground and cried out
Still my daddy didn’t come 

Then the birdie came
He crashed into my daddy’s office
And sent the floor crashing down
On to me and everyone else still inside

I woke up in a place of beauty
And found the angels looking at me
They told me of everything
There was to know

I was in gods grace now 
And he loved me 
They tell me it won’t be long
Til daddy comes to get me


Details | Sijo | |

The Little Boy

At age six, he was abused,  neglected and beaten daily.

He never understood why God allowed this to happen to him.

Time will help him heal his scars and put love into his heart. 


Details | Free verse | |

To See A Dream

A rose that looks like sunshine,
Bright, but soft, butter yellow, with an edgy crimson outline,
floated in a vase alongside soft splatterings of Baby's Breath.

'Twas a gift.
It lived on the dresser;
my dresser in front of my bed.

Every morning, when the sun began to shine through my window,
the rose was the first thing I saw.

It had no thorns, it was perfect;
Perfection in a single flower:
I took a picture.
To capture the moment,
to capture the beauty before it began to wilt,
before it lost its perfection.

I would dream,
imagine that I would become an aspired singer,
that I could dance,
that I could be in the "In" society.

I would dream the impossible,
that I could be the first to count all the stars,
that I would sit on the porch with my love and enjoy morning hot chocolate,
that I could see the future God intended.

My reflections bloomed, like my rose.
They grew into a young woman of no horror in her life,
sheltered and nurtured under the love of parents and a close friend.

I woke up to my animal's playing and a resounding crash.
My shattered vase.
My gorgeous rose,
Baby's Breath and water all over the floor and under the dresser.

I cut my feet.
I cut my hands.
My rose had a tiny thorn under the wilted petals.

For you see,
I never saw the withered, ugly flower with a covered thorn.
I saw what I wanted to see;
A soft, but brilliant, yellow rose with edgy crimson outlines.

My dreams blended into the blood on my feet.
Reflections became none exsistant when I felt the pain of glass in my hands;
I saw my sheltered life sink into the puddle of water, slowly drifting under my bed.

With tears, I cleaned.
I scrubbed and threw away the pieces.
I bandaged the wounds and washed my eyes and cheeks.

Without aid,
I moved on.

Time told me of scars on my feet and hands.

All I can do is remember and glance at my framed, wilted rose;
the brittle petals cracked,
the stem a deep brown,
the thorns prominent and sharp.

I saw what I wanted to see.


Details | Lyric | |

Unfortunate Son

I know I've hurt some people
Too many ways for me to tell
They send me tears and letters
I never meant to be in this hell

I walk a long and lonesome road
There's a million pounds on my back
I should've been successful and happy
But I ended up losing sight of the track

To my mother, I lied because I needed it
To my father, I never meant to be this way
To my siblings, I never meant to let you down
I only tried to live life and get by each day

It was all too good to be true
I always thought it would last
I guess I got what I deserved
I just wish it didn't go by so fast

I know I've hurt some people
Too many ways for me to tell
They send me tears and letters
I never meant to be in this hell


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

How Could You Do This To Me

How can you put your babygrl out for a man that'll never or always want be there 
for you
I'm the one that always been there for you, I'm the one that stayed by you'r side 
And still you want to tell me good bye 
How could you put your babygrl out not caring were she's at in the world
I wondered if you ever even cared 
I wonder why you pick him over me
How can you go to sleep every night not knowing were your child is 
How can you go to sleep next be side him ( to someone that don't even keep it 
real)
I did what I had to do, I was there when no one else was
When you where down if you ever needed someone to talk to I was you'r grl to be 
around
I love you CAROL, that man you picked over me will never always be around
and when he put you down, since I'm the better person I'll be there and still be 
around
I miss us talking to each other, I miss us being cool, playing together
It's like when you get a man you shut your kids out your life
All because the man sweet talk you into being his wife
I thought we were better than that
I never did anything that bad for you to hurt me
One day I hope you come to your senses and realize you need me more then 
anything in this world
No matter what you say or think you are not a real mama
But forever I'll always be your babygrl


Details | Rhyme | |

HEALING FROM A BROKEN HEART-PART TWO

As I got older the abuse got worst,
It felt like I was being cursed:
My mother would threaten to kill me,
Somtimes I would find a way to flee:
I was always found,
And thrown on the ground:
Verbal, physical, and sexual abuse,
My mother always had an excuse:
Legal authorities got me out,
I was very angry and would pout:
I was in a Christian foster home,
They were nice and showed me a church home:
God protected me all of my life,
I thank Him for helping me to survive:
Now I help others as much as I can,
I am married to a wonderful man:
My mother knows that I forgive her,
I always will love her for sure:
God is healing me everyday,
He's here for me in every way.


Details | I do not know? | |

Next Sunday after luncheon

Each Sunday after luncheon
As long as it’s not cold
My parents have their little walk
Although they’re getting old 

It’s their routine, they’ve done it
Ever since I was a lad
Each Sunday after luncheon
Just me and Mum and Dad

At three o’clock they like to stop
To have a cup of tea
A sticky bun for Dad and Mum
A sticky bun for me

We’ll sit down by the bandstand
To have our little snack
Then when they’re done, my Dad and Mum
Its time drive them back

I drop them off at four o’clock
And see them safely in
I say goodbye Mum starts to cry
“We will do this again?”

I tell them I will call them
And we’ll have a little talk
Then, next Sunday after luncheon
We’ll all go out for our walk

©  John W Fenn  11-04-2009


Details | Light Poetry | |

Child

Can you see the child
half scared and wild
can you see the fears
can you feel the tears

they all need to be fed
need a nice warm bed
want to know people care
by always bring there

they look out the night
ask who win this fight
they don t ask for much
just one kind touch

so who take a stand
lend an helping hand
give a place to stay
take there troubles away


Details | Light Poetry | |

I NEED TO KNOW

I need to know
How could you just get up and leave
Four young children alone to grieve

I need to know
How could you go to sleep at night
While your children lie awake with fright

I need to know
How could you sit in your home and eat
Knowing your children lives were incomplete

I need to know
When you were going out having a good time
Were you worried what was happening in mine

I need to know
When you sat in your cozy home
Did you think of us all alone

I need to know
Now that you are getting old
Sat alone feeling cold
Do you have any regrets?

Do you sit and fret?
Of what life now holds for you
Now your life is nearly through
When your judgement day finally comes

What are you going to tell God mum?
You made a mistake you did wrong?
Why did it have to take you so long?
To realize the suffering you put your children through

But there is no one else to blame but you
I need to know


Details | I do not know? | |

Out to Play

Clouds enclose the sky
little children say good-bye
sad faces up rise


Details | Free verse | |

Jump Rope

Shannon,
I knew her in 
middle school
friends caught 
somewhere between
being children, pre-teen
adults.

We jumped with
a wooden handled rope 
across the stage
in Tom Sawyer.

1890's leather
and petticoats
galloping and swishing
against exposed 
pale thin knobbed
ankles.

Crossed stage right
to stage left,
cued when Tom and 
Becky kissed.
 
Growing shannon
learned to kiss dangerous
exciting men.

Coccaine and Vodka
replaced petticoats
and plays. I heard  
years later of the haunted
whispers of such a childs
fate.

Death stole her at the 
age of twenty after 
nightly slaps - screams
from one of her
immoral un-ingenues.

Shannon Stopped.
Stopped skipping, 
laughing, playing,
acting.

She hung herself from a 
rusty fire escape in a
little city alley with the 
same wooden handled 
jump rope at midnight
in march's icy rain.


Details | Verse | |

Loss

‘Do not fear’, she told me
as I measured the value of carrying on
with a life with a gap, 
with a life on my own.

‘Your pain will diminish’, 
was a covenant she made
without a lie in her voice, 
but with an ephemeral attempt.

We balanced each other’s pain
for less than a year and a half.
Then a man tempted her away
and a plague sickened my heart.

I have thrust away her love
like she pushed away my being.
Now a chasm lies between us,
which I have dug despite my craving 
to cross to the other side, 
to throw my arms around her, 
to accept the other guy, 
their communion and their ardor.

I don’t seek to ruin
the security that she built,
but I wish that she could see
how alone for years I’ve felt. 

My pain never diminished,
but its intensity has augmented.
Now I mourn for not one loss,
but a second that I’ve created.


Details | Sedoka | |

No Teddy Bear

The youngest daughter 
in a family of five
liked to hide in the closet.
Quietly grinning.
Toys on her shelf all fallen –
Bubblegum stuck in her hair.

With no teddy bear
She fed ducks in the darkness –
Her family went seeking.
With children at home,
She met her friends in the street.
They laughed loudly together.

Ó December 4, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest Ancient Song 	
Sponsored by: ^Rick Parise



 





Details | Couplet | |

Mama

Mama said wipe your feet
I just mopped the floor
Mama said don't yell so loud
And don't slam the door
Mama said feed the dog
Then go set the table
Mama said you must cook
For I just wasn't able
Mama said a lot of things
Heaven knows it's true
But one thing Mama never said was
I love you


Details | Rhyme | |

HUMANE

                              It was a day for joyful tears.
                        It was a day for newborn fears.
                My daughters’ Confirmation I am so proud.
                 I speak of her to others, and I speak loud.
             AS we left the service, my eyes never looked down.
            I never saw that June Bug crawling upon the ground.
          My daughter stepped upon him, while sunning on a rock.
        His face, his legs, and one antennae crushed; he was in shock.
                           Daddy, Daddy, please fix him.
          I became Doctor Daddy, to appease my daughters’ whim.
     I picked up the June Bug, left his antenna, legs, and face in stone. 
         My daughter spoke softly, I know he does not live alone.
            The saline glistening tear running down my cheek.
          My dearest darling daughter, heed the words I speak.
This June Bug suffered so much pain : to let him die would be Humane.
        On the quiet ride home, I could see my daughter ponder.
                  Then she said to me , DADDY : I wonder.

When we go to hospital, to see GRANDMA-- Will you be  HUMANE ?  


Details | Bio | |

Secrets of the Past

The sun shines outside,
But I live in the night.
No one knows what I hide,
I keep it hid out of sight.

Secrets of the past,
Darken even the brightest day.
They're there to last,
Shadowing every ray.

Sometimes they try to flow out,
But not for long.
I am to stout,
I have become to strong.

Keeping it all in,
Has become an easier fight.
So far I always win,
Keeping it bottled up tight.

If it comes out,
I may not last.
I would have to scream and shout,
And it could destroy me fast.


Details | I do not know? | |

how could u

how could u leave me with just my innocence
how could i was just a baby
how could u forget all about me 
how could u not take me with u
how could u just sit there and help not help me
how could u throw him away i hate u for that
how could u say he dont love me 
how could u let me not have nothing to do with him
how could u leave me with only little memories of u 
i cant stand it i hate u both of u for everything if u would have takein me i could of
avoided all of the crap that has become of my stupid painful life


Details | Free verse | |

Childhood's End

Being

grown-up

means

the snow

isn’t magic

anymore.


Details | Free verse | |

Heaven

Even though you're gone, you're still with me here. Forever I await you, silent in tears. Breathing is like bleeding the pain of my soul, finding my way back to the path is like finding the light and you're guiding me safely home. Damned to eternal battle, you had the will, but lost the fight. Goodbye is now forever, and not just for the night. If I reach Heaven will I find you there? My question lingers in the cold and hollow cemetery air. Frozen you lie at my feet, your stone glints in the forsaken moonlight, petrified by the sorrow that consumes me, I cannot find the strength to leave. Give me an answer so that I will be satisfied... You lie so silent, and so the memories I have left of you slowly rewind in my grieving mind. If I reach Heaven will I find you there?


Details | Quatrain | |

SITTING BY THE OCEAN

The countless flights of noisy seagulls
seem like my days once idled away,
sitting by the ocean appeasing the relentless loneliness of my blues...
beyond that horizon, so traveled by ships, another sunset faded away.


Being brought here by destiny's hasteness,
I am unable to return to my adored land...
hinderd by unknown forces more devastating than summer's violent storms and hurricanes;
even the gentlest breeze can erase those memories still imprinted into the smooth sand. 


Springs have been short and winters last much longer, 
and only the red Lighthouse surrenders to darkness;
the gelid winds of the North batter the snow-decorated docks making the waves rise higher;
this calm harbor resembles a Norvegian fiord from where the Vikings left in small vessels.


Serenity is deeply felt, but not readily greeted as in other milder seasons,
and I can endure the harshness of any winter day with this heavy coat...
the cold and hungry beggar could use it and keep herself warm and sleep peacefully at night;
where's she? I've been sitting by the ocean, she hasn't come to melt away my frozen tears!


Details | Free verse | |

Bullies

Children laugh,
scoffing at heartaches of
lonely souls sobbing
in corners of the playground;
but the bully is really a coward.


Details | Rhyme | |

To the little boy lost

To the little boy lost

To the little boy lost
Who longed for a home
Where dreams are encouraged
And spirits can soar
Instead you were given
A house that was cold
With cruelty and anger
And constant reminders 
How worthless you are

To the little boy lost
With words you were broken
As you faded from life
Your eyes dark and empty
Once full of light
Now searching the shadows
For places to hide
From a childhood that haunted
The rest of your life

To the little boy lost
My friend and my brother
Though younger than you
To this day, guilt and pain makes me wonder
Why time brought me through
But left you behind
Where you carried inside
The little boy lost
Who had nothing to lose
And no hope inside
When you ended your life

To the little boy lost
Who's part of my soul
Wherever you are
I hope you have found
What you never could find
Here in this life
A place to call home

Kevin D. Fix


Details | Narrative | |

A REVELATORY MESSAGE OF SALVATION

The Good News is for people
who have a sickness and need to be healed,
and healing starts with a reborn spirit,
but spiritual blindness won't make one look upward,
to ask for forgiveness and becoming whole;
the Good News can give you a new heart
with their revelatory message full of promise...
coming upon you form the Divine Source!



Who has the audacity to blame God
for not intervening in the world's affairs,
whose troubles are too numerous to mention?
Starvation causes incurable diseases,
bizarre and unrestrained sexual behavior kills;
state after state approves of the same sex marriage:
Sodom and Gomorrah lives on
with their merry-making mocking!  



And the same individuals who frequent
holy places, in which they worship their god with vain praises,
condone the filth and ugliness already tolerated by society,
making easier for them to express their sexuality
in offensive ways and disobey God's commandment;
two men taking the role of a lovable daddy,
and two women that of a devoted mommy?
Aren't they sending the wrong message to those tiny beings?



If men lay with men and women with women;
conception is denied the joy of blissful birth,
and the screams of babes, coming out of the belly, 
won't be heard anymore...what an awful pity
for children not to have mom's and dad's affection: 
to live a normal childhood on this beautiful earth!
O lost and uncaring people, receive and hear with elation,
the Good News with their revelatory message of salvation!
  

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Free verse | |

Sadness

The women stood in front of the table 
Her sad hands
Empty
Hallow
With nothing
she looked at her daughter
smiles and laughter
i wish her the best
nothing less
the sun shines on your golden hair
i love you, dear
Dont get hurt
promise me you wont
take my hand
one last time
forever more
say that you must
smile
dance
laugh
sing
just promise me you will dream
when i fade to grey
you are getting older 
you have a life
children of your own
you start to cry
clutch to my hand
ill never leave
im always here
Clinging...


Details | Free verse | |

Knock It Down

down down down, knock it down to the basement 
blowing stuff up for a book never made sense 
the books were made, we've been screwed since
religion should be talked about in past tense
hence, the age of ignorance is over 
ill put the burdens of the weak on my shoulders
its a heavy weight to carry 
but death is a women i would gladly marry 
if it means i could stop the torment and destruction 
of our youth, they don't deserve to be corrupted
the mind is pure, void of superstition 
don't transmit unto your loved one your condition 
let them grow up, and make their own decision 
because i know if you did they would never choose the same path 
they would figure out the simple math  
they would never be so arrogant
to believe this world was heaven sent 
and was made with them in mind
they would reject any mention of a being divine 
only wealth and religion can cause a man to be so vain 
eternity, what is there to gain 
is this life and this world not enough for you 
you need another, and another, and another too
it is sad to see you wasting the only life you have 
don't let your children fall victim to the same fad


Details | Rhyme | |

What you are made up to be

foolish within that shows through the skin, you're hopeless but hoping for the worst for me. I don't care for you, and never will. You will see when you burn in hell, in the future near you'll see that I wasn't the one wrong, so don't try to be sincere. You think it's all about you, when the truth is no one wants anything to do with you. You've already over thought it all, and now you're all alone starring at the wall. I bet you realize now that the pain you feel you caused yourself. Within in all, comes the suffering of withdraw. All the pills that you've swallowed won't save your sorrow.


Details | I do not know? | |

Piano Player

sometimes i wish i could play the piano
play melodies so slow and sad
slam the keys down in a ragind beat
smile as the song gracefully slides across the keys
play the piano as my face changes
play what my heart deseires,
then maybe everything will be done
everthing will be said
everything can be left.
maybe ill learn the piano.
i think it would be a nice idea.


Details | Rhyme | |

Secret Of A Mango Tree (Mixed Rhyme)

I use time not on shorelines, watching
The great yellow orb…..never rushing
To fade and rest…..before the laughing
Eyes of lovers, as noon wind touching
Them, beneath the coco palms, kissing

But I, like bird on a mango tree nestle
Clinging, childishly, on its sturdy branch
Before my eyes, I see how crickets whistle
With rhythmic tune, as tares foolishly dance

With the gadfly, that flatters free
As I spend the stolen time
Enjoying the nature’s rhyme
Till the tree bears fruits…..just for me

Its fruits, sweet and golden, the tree itself is
No match against the brutal force of nature
Once…twice, standing helpless, while bearded mantis
Forcefully stabbing-in its sting, that rapture    

The innocent soul, that still bleeds
In silence, the mango tree heeds
The wailing beats of its heart
Hapless, lying on the dead ground
While hungry beast started to pound
Feasted….till whole’s torn apart

Scared; it soars, aimless, over seas of thunder
With no hope, in mind, of gazing the wonder
Of the world, for spirits lies under yonder

Mango tree, a glorious image
Of little robin, now, in rage

No clue, if ever peace will live 
In the heart of those, once, deceived

What goodness will it give watching… 
The sun fades sure darkness it’ll bring?  
  
Certainly, no one knows, but me 

The secret of a mango tree





Details | Quintain (English) | |

Pentastich-THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING LOVED

Many people look into the mirror,
and only see their imperfections...
I have mine and laugh about them; 
when famous people go under the knife,
surgeons get rich and to them they bow.


Why perfection is so sought after today?
Not all are born beautiful, some are born deformed,
and those are the ones who shouldn't be happy;
others abuse their bodies in horrendous ways,
and ignore the importance of being loved.


A pop star did just that, and he went to the extremes
to change the color of his skin to look like someone else;
he should have been proud and satisfied of how he looked!
I wasn't the handsomest guy, but somehow a miracle occurred:
I had an in-depth analysis and I felt truly beautiful!


Society creates the perfect images of famous individuals worldwide,
they become their own gods, not feeling the importance of being loved,
they look pretty from the outside, but deep down they're slowly dying;
why resemble models who are put on a starvation diet to look good
on fashion shows in Milan, Paris and New York...have they gone insane? 


Reflect on your life with careful consideration, find the hidden beauty
that each one of us possess, not neglecting the importance of being loved;
have you ever noticed children how they mingle...how they love one another? 
Do they see any of the defects in their bodies, or point out their differences?
Certainly not, they amuse themselves and playing they feel beautiful!  






Details | Rhyme | |

Death By Words

I am me but it isn't enough.
 The kids at school don't like me too much.
 My family's poor; I can't afford nice clothes.
 All of my socks have holes in the toes.
 I have 2 pairs of jeans I wear every other day.
 I try keeping them new but they won't stay that way.
 I like different music but they think it's whack.
 Being Black, I should only listen to R&B and rap.
 I'm very good at school because I'm very smart
 But they try to hurt my feelings by calilng me a retard.
 They say that I am stupid and they also call me dumb.
 They say that I will never amount to be anyone.
 They push me in the hallway trying to pick a fight.
 Sad and depressed, I push through with all of my might.
 The girls talk about me on Facebook and the guys find it funny.
 They talk about my appearance and how I am so very ugly.
 I hold my head up at school but at home I always cry.
 They talk about me daily and I really don't know why. 
I'm too black, too tall, too smart, too poor...
 All I want to do is disappear through the floor.
 They don't know I'm funny, nice, kind, and sweet.
 They'd prefer to talk badly about me to everyone they meet.
 Am I too scared to face them and say what's on my mind?
 Or maybe I'm not mean enough because I am too kind...
 I try to listen to my teachers who advise me to walk away
 But my bullies follow me to torment me every single day.
 My grades start dropping because I can no longer focus.
 I get in trouble at home because education is a must.
 All I want to do is go to school without getting picked on.
 All of this external negativity is making me withdrawn.
 I used to be so happy and now, I don't know what that is.
 I have no idea how much more I can take of this.
 I hate how I've given them the power on how to make me feel.
 They've caused scars so deep that I wonder if I will ever heal.
 Why did God make me so different? Why am I so disliked?
 I just want to be pretty and cool so that I can be liked. 
I'm tired. Tired of hurting. Tired of being scared. Tired of crying.
 I feel small pieces of me slowly and constantly dying.
 No one to talk to because no one understands.
 Now I am no more and it's caused by my own hands.
 The kids at school didn't like me too much.
 I tried to be me but it wasn't enough.


Details | Rhyme | |

Young and Old, Children and Adults.

I watch the children as they play
They laugh 
and smile, thinking 
everything is okay
But in there feeble little minds
Hidden behind bright young eyes
They know, to the world there nothing but a child
The world dosen't know
The world dosen't care
There just another face
With a number and a name
Inside, they grow old
Tired and misserable
Sick and cold
Wishing something good would happen
But knowing that it won't
Outside there still young
Knowing nothing of the world
And the evil people it holds
Old replaces the young
Now these children are adults
Frowns and sunken eyes
They never seem to smile
All they seem to do is cry
When money isn't right
When life turns into a job
The only time they smile
Is when they finally die.

End


Details | Rhyme | |

Mami

Mother,without you my life will never be the same,
I will never hear you call out my name.
Now that your gone,I can't bear hearing our song.
I know you don't want me to feel pain,but without you
my life is lame.
I've never needed you so much,how I wish to feel your
touch.
My world is nothing without you,
my sky's are dark,dark blue.
The sun will rise again when
i'm buried next to you.
I walk around hoping to die,
so I can hurry and be by your side.
Untill then all I'll do is cry.
All I want is to hold you again,
only then will my heart mend.
God chose you and I know why,
He needed a true angel by his side.
Without you I can't overcome my fears,
who's gonna be the one to hug me and 
wipe my tears.
No one will love me like you did,
you showed me endless love when I was a kid.
I'm having so much trouble letting you go,
since you've past,my tears have cotinued to flow.
I've become hollow inside,cuz when you died...
SO DID I.


Details | Ode | |

Ode Homestead

Visiting with memories 
Childhood days, thoughts remembered, 
Things of me that used to be. 

House that's aged, weathered and grayed -  
I feel its splintering pain; 
Watching me as we all played. 

Elements she held at bay; 
Her walls hold cherished secrets; 
Creaky floors gave me away. 

Love has gone, home lost it's shine. 
Here I sit, this last recall, 
Earth to earth, dust to dust, pine. 

Once I left she lost her spring. 
Her heartbeat beat its last breath 
No more a home but a thing. 

Memories stand strong as she 
Reigned her years; everyone's gone 
Moving on as it should be. 

Thanks to you my ode homestead, 
I grew up secure and loved 
And trips to the wood shed. 

My heartfelt tears have a smile; 
Emotions, both joy and sad; 
New owners, life's worthwhile.


Details | Rhyme | |

Home Cooked Meals

Mommy and I have to eat home cooked meals
At the restaurant
Because mommy is determined to keep up this 
Fam’ly front.
No one can know we live in misery.
Though we wear Oleg Cassini and 
Carry a Coach purse
We live in love’s poverty.

I think I’m getting an ulcer.
But, she eats slow
And I clean my plate
Don’t want to get home too early
We want to waste time
And get home very late

We eat out almost every night
To make people think everythings alright
I no longer ask why she doesn’t confess
And try to get us out of this mess.
She just feels she’ll never be blessed
And she wants to keep her designer suits
And bags…
She thinks she’s trapped
And it’s all very sad…

And
I think I’m getting an ulcer…




Details | Concrete | |

Elegy

Somewhere a poem
is waiting for me
to write it in the jewelry box,
coiled into an old ring
or stopping the hands
of a watch;
in the vanishing barn risen
to the top of the pail
to be skimmed off;
or in the tree outside
engraving in green ink
on the other side of a leaf.
In my old room
the white curtains blow 
like ghosts of themselves
  over the sill;
under the bed misplaced words gather
to grab my helpless ankle
          it is a poem
the Child I was hides
in the ear of the woman
I have become a poem
who's lines were the lines
          of my fathers' face.


Details | Free verse | |

Our Union

Our Union
	
My eyelashes bat 
After meeting your gaze
From across a 
Crowded subway haze.
 
My pupils dilate when they
Look back at you over dinner
Where we drank wine and ate.
 
My feet dance with glee as we
Fall hopelessly in love 
In the midst of summer heat.
 
My heart splits apart 
To become your wife
And your forever sweetheart.
 
My legs spread 
Open to bare new life
And see your cheeks rosen.
 
My arms push 
You away at night,
I'm too tired for a sex life.
 
My fists rage and tears pour,
When I discover your arms
Embracing another lover
After coffee one early morn.
 
My ears listen to 
Your words of regret and
Pleads for a second chance
For things to be like
When we first met.
 	
My fingers dial 
Seeking third party counsel
To repair our shattered union.
 
My brain waves 
Shift to understand your
Thoughts and your feelings, 
While I bitterly convey my own.
 
My hand re-opens 
To forgive your sins
And make amends.
 
My lips part to 
Receive your kiss in the
Night in a sea of 
Skin in our warm bed.
 
My heart flutters, 
We’ve truly become one,
Years after we bore our son.


Details | Rhyme | |

Three Wooden Crosses

beneath this iron maiden
lies three wooden crosses

such tragedy comes to those
with their life losses

fourteen fifteen and sixteen
even in the backseat a beauty queen

mother told them not to go
father told them to take it slow

waving goodbye off they went
riding on tires with a wheel thats bent

out comes the beer and the weed
being such fools tossing around the seeds

ran a stop sign just up the road
got smashed by a trucker hauling a load

spun the car into a lamp post
now three bodies linger around as ghost

but the beauty queen did survive
by wearing her seatbelt and thanks god shes alive



Please Talk To Your Kids
Drinking And Driving Dont' Mix
And Alway's Remember That Seatbelt


Details | Monorhyme | |

Before Puberty toward Maturity

I was abused before puberty,
But I did my share of abusing.
And I was bruised before puberty,
But have spent some time bruising.
I was used as an adolescent,
Yet threw some out with the using.
I was infused as a adolescent,
But my words are said "too infusing".
I was confused as a new student;
Now I am labeled as "confusing".
I was a diffused college graduate,
But now I am thought to be diffusing.
I was accused as a married man;
Yet, I, admit I was so accusing.
I was refused as a separate man,
But I have not gone on refusing.


Details | I do not know? | |

Haunted By The Past

Soft Wet Tears Dripping Down My Face. A Face That Is Eroded And 
Washes Away Like Clay. Nobody Cares But Nobody Knows The Pain 
She Goes Through.Telling Herself She's Going To Change And A 
Powerful Force Stopping Her From What She Wants To Do. She 
Already Messed Up. Its To Late To Restart,Life Isn't A Movie You 
Can't Call "Cut,Redo" If Life Was A Movie I'd Be Perfect From The 
Beginning, But The Mistakes Have Already Been Made, And My Past 
Its Never Going To Fade:(


Details | Blank verse | |

A Chorus

When at the moon-lit cold nights 
Came out we all the girls an boys, 
To be amused with hide and seek, 
The long low wailing howls of dogs, 
And heinous shrills of the little owls, 
Cast fear, I became horrid recoiled, 
Threw each of us a handful of dust, 
To the direction of ominous harbingers, 
To impede an instant invading calamity. 

Often then in the foggy morn we found, 
A robbed body in the thick shrubs, 
With perforated chest, broken bones, 
Lacerated belly, or stabbed heart, 
For a few pennies, or a ring of gold. 
Some fierce animals in the human form, 
Disturbed peaceful silence of the village, 
As flings someone a big boulder, 
From the height, down into the deep water, 
And the waves raise commotion around. 

The bold moved indignant, the timid horrified, 
The women young and old circumscribed, 
The widow with broken bangles dishevelled hair, 
And moved around her, striking hands, 
On the scared faces with force full, 
The head clouts binding around the waists, 
With loose lurking ends swaying behind, 
Circled they bending with rhythmic beats, 
Protested against the deed producing voices, 
The clamorous cries of lamenting chorus, 
Spread horror in the pastoral spheres, 
Making death for the alive too frightful.


Details | I do not know? | |

Insanity

She came to me.
So far, yet so near.
I knew her face, I knew her voice, 
but who she was a mystery.
I found my self wordless.
I found my self without fear. 
Her face forgot in, her voice unknown. 
And then I knew.
Broken.
The mirror shatters.
Each shard a piece of me.
Each reflected memories. 


Details | Bio | |

A Better Tomorrow

Since we were young hes always been the one the families all seen it hes ur favorite son he can go to rehab and get in trouble to he can do what he wants but thats okay with you im sorry im not his daughter im sorry you hate me so much im sorry im not perfect i rather not keep in touch although u may deny it deep down you know its true everyone else sees it why can't you see it to i didn't mean to take advantage im depressed all the time although you may not see it faking a smile is my crime of all the *****i've been thru and all the *****you have done i thought that you would be there but no your there for your son if i could have a wish him i would come from cause maybe then you would love me and i wouldn't feel so dumb you may read this note and you probably will get mad but now you know my pain and you would know my heart is sad all i wanted was for your love and your blessing to but theres not enough room for me cause hes your favorite son its true so im erasing you from my life im going to try to move on cause this pain i feel is real and i just want it gone so farewell to you mother i hope you have a great life i hope your man is the one maybe you'll be his wife but your just a distant memory a shadow from the past was it all worth it the hatred spell you cast although i shed my tears i wipe them away with sorrow maybe i'll be someones favorite i hope for a better tomorrow


Details | I do not know? | |

A part of me

I lost a part of me
Once upon a time
Cause I was wild and didn't
Want to let go
I didn'tknow that I lost a
Part of me
At least
Not until I was way out of hand
I lost a part of me
That's now finnally coming back.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Bullies

Bullies are mean
Bullies are rude
Bullies are a disgrace
Bullies are disrespectful

Bullies say mean things
They say hurtful things
Bullies think they are tough
They think they are cool
Bullies thinks its fun to bully other people
BUt its not

Bullies dont derseve having good things happen to them
One day they will have karma!


Details | Lyric | |

Agony

You took me home, I drink to much because of you my livers turn to dust
You got me high my lungs have quit for the last time.
And because of you my obsession grows more and more with each passing day.
I do it more to feel the high but it just won’t come back to me. 
I tried to walk but it’s so hard I just end up on my back staring into the sky.
You came to me to help me back onto to my feet.
And helped walk me back to the car even with my resistance you took me home.
I’m sick of the things you have said and done while leaving me high and dry.
I’m so messed up from what you've said and I’m on the brink of dieing out, of 
this place you call my home.
I’ve tried to make since of all the things you have said to me, But it is impossible 
to stay on track. Some people shouldn’t be alive. That’s how I feel.
Like I’m not needed in this life, even though it might hold something I should 
uncover,
I’ve never searched these things in mind that should be found, but yet apparently
unattainable to keep track, it’s almost impossible to grab a hold of the thing that 
are most vital to your life. 
When you are in a life where all you do is getting smashed and seared. And you 
try and try to help me up, but you took one move… You took the one wrong move...
You took me home. Because of you my life now sucks!
And it’s now whirling out of my control 
I feel I’m fading from this place that you have brought me to 
So take my away from here I need not to see your face in front of mine 
So get away... away from me!
Why is it when you call my name, I’m put in a state of misery
I’m am so perplexed, can’t see straight
I’ve tried to go and find my-self it's just so frustrating
I can’t take the fact that you entered my life at an age that I do not know
And I try to ask my-self what can I do to help me out of this awful state
Of misery.
Than you made an effort to help me up, but then I see a whole new being and it’s 
not you but somewhat else… I see… I see My-self!?!
I think I helped my soul from this death I think that I have come to my sixth 
senses and have turned my life around.
But you still make that one last go to start this all another time
You took me home with this agony
And I ask you one last time why did you make my life this living hell!?!


Details | Free verse | |

The morning prayer I miss

I miss the sweet sweet morning prayer I used to say,
In the lights of early morn, in the darkness of losing night.
In that surrealistic atmosphere I used to pray,
To the One who possesses endless might.

I used to make a society with my Lord;
The only society where I was so happy.
There used to be He and I and nobody else;
He used to call me with affection and I used to respond.

And I miss all that blissfull feelings
Of early morning breeze, so tender, so sweet......
And the smell of morning sweat so honestly earned,
And the pleasure of walking on the wide empty streets.

Then coming back home with endless satisfection
Of pride, of wisdom, of solitude.
Then reading stories about witches and fairies,
In such and atmosphere so close to the action!

But now the morning prayer is never the same,
Its just aformality of going into the busy day (that lies ahead).
Then going into the breakfast so testlessly cooked,
With smashed potatos and mushrooms and thick pieces of bread


Details | Tetractys | |

My Dear Friend You Are Not Forgotten

my
dear friend
today I
received letter
from your mom and dad
stated that killed while serving
seems like only yesterday
were cruising on our 4 wheelers
I shall honor thy name displaying
flag and medal of valor on mantel






Tribute To Dear Friends
And To Our Troops


Details | Verse | |

The Daughter

Today I lived my life with ghosts
Both living and dead
Your face, their face
Slipped through my fingers and fell to the floor
Hundreds of pictures of you and them
Hundreds of moments and moments and moments
Too numerous and caught in that web of time
Dangled on a cobweb so thin, so fine
It could break but does not snap
And lasts and lasts
And holds and holds
All there, suspended in that instant
Before falling to the floor,
Or in the box of memories. To be kept.

So where do you reside, in the bin or the box?
Where do you live for future’s worth?
Will you be cut adrift or salvaged in those stepping stones to the past.

And yet, she still picked up those photos of you 
Pained and dulled
Still confused and stabbed by what has happened over time.
She saw your face and paused. Reflected.
She then gently collected up those images of you and me
And saved them in the box
One day for all to see in times to come.
She decided not to put you in the bin.
Unlike me.

She rescued her childhood.
Put down a marker in the sand
And said stop to the sea
To the waves and waves
That break over time and pain
Saved you from the blankless pile of Venice and Florence
And Christmas and beaches and Barbies and laughter
And with a simple dignity 
She gave you back some worth.




Details | Free verse | |

Silence

After millions of seconds,
every second seeming,
much longer than the other.
All we wanted was good news, 
all we wanted was you...

 A night with little excitement 
only listening to the music, 
and watching stars make lame jokes,
 my sister and I heard a ring,
only faint cause the phone was outside.

Praying that everything was all right
we only wanted you safe,
we hear a sob from my mom.
As the moment my life fell apart
the good news never came.
 
You ran,
you jumped,
you swam, 
you quit.
Why?
I don't understand.

We still haven't stopped asking questions,
Why you? Why us? Why then?
Those questions will never be answered.
It's been almost five years
Why?!

When you left you took a part of us with you,
My mom says hello, 
Can you say hello to Ashley for me? 
I hope you take her camping, and watch the stars at in the sky.
I hope everything's alright.

I know your dad came to join you,
Does it make you happy when people join you,
maybe that's what was going through my sisters mind,
maybe we all miss you more than you'd expect

Ever since you've been gone,
there has been a silence,
never questioned cause we don't want to face the truth
I wonder if you had more time if you wouldn't have done it,
do you regret it, or do you like the silence in the clouds.

We will never understand why you ran.
Life hasn't been the same since,
it's gone done hill from there,
you will always be in my thoughts.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Little girl

She feels alone all the time yet she don't know why,
She has a feeling inside that hurts and makes her want to cry,
All she need is Love,Care and Attention things she wouldn't mention,
All in her Life there is Love and sacrifice


Details | I do not know? | |

E-Mail To Daddy

Hello Daddy.....
Yes..... it's your little girl.
It's so hard..... to say these things,
So I thought..... I'd send this e-mail.

If I ran away from home..... would you care?
If I used drugs..... would you be there?
My life went to hell..... when Mom died.
You said you'd be there..... but you lied.

I feel like a homeless child..... on the street.
Why do i have to beg..... at your feet?
You're my Daddy..... and I do need you.
I thought..... that you needed me too.

So daddy..... could you spend some time with me?
Your new girlfriend..... just doesn't see.
That your little girl..... is hurting deep inside.
She is nice..... and yes Daddy I tried.

But Daddy..... I hunger for your love.
And the pressure of all my friends..... is so hard
They steal..... and do lots of drugs.
And i'm afraid i'll do them tomorrow..... in the schoolyard.

Daddy it's hard to tell you things..... I could tell Mom.
But I was raped..... by your friend Don.
He said to never tell you..... but I'm not ready.
Daddy..... I'm going to have his baby.

Oh, Daddy..... I hope you know what to do.
Because..... I really do love you

Your Little Girl



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote this about neglect and abuse.


Details | I do not know? | |

One Day

We've been through
Roughening waves,
But we sat and never threw
Ourselves out of furious rave.

One day my heart
Will be glad that
We haven't yet fallen apart
And are not as sad as before.

Our time was like a boat...
No matter where we went,
Our time was well spent,
Even while we continuously float.

One day you'll be as happy
As you were in that rural place.
We'll together repair our broken vase.
You and I were inseparable friends...

So I wished it didn't end.
Our bond has been fragile
For quite some while.
I've been thinking of ridding it...

Though I know
I'll resolve it all somehow.
So I hope you will accept the flora
I shall give to you one day...


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Sorry

I tried so hard
To do as I was told
But all you were
Was hurtful and cold

The yelling and screeming
It was all very tough
Knowing I'd never
Be good enough

I wanted to please you
Be as perfect as can be
What was so bad 
About being just me

I'm sorry I failed you
I know you're disssapointed
I'm sorry I'll never be 
The child you wanted


Details | Free verse | |

ALONE

Do you truely think that I am okay?
The light in my eye has faded for good...
because of you.
Don't think you can just leave.
I have no one else now.
ALONE.
Understand that since you are gone, so am I.
Let me know...
do you care anymore?


Details | I do not know? | |

The Mother I Never Knew

When I was a baby you gave us away.
My 4 sisters & 4 brothers that I never knew I had.
What's more important your kids or the drugs living with AIDS, it makes u weak in & out the hospital at night u can't sleep. So why keep drinking & smoking and living the way that your living. Leave your past behind meaning the men & the drugs, and spend the rest of your time making a future with your kids u claim u love.


Details | Free verse | |

Open Fantasy

Tired, exhausted working 2, 3 sometimes 4 jobs 
 Is what mama had to do to keep a roof over our heads 
Raised by brothers and sisters never seen mothers face 
 Was what i had to go throught on a daily base
To think mama had to do it on her own 
 Why because you were behind bars with a foggie mirrow and a bed 
Given everything you needed clouths, food and more 
 Never had to work to survive behind those silver doors 
You though we lived in paradise but in truth we were on the road to the after life 
 In my eyes the world was nothing but endless darkness 
And my escape was my emotions being spilled on a page that was ment for you
 To believe the girt i recieved from you was a knife plunged into my back
At that moment in time my wolrd came tumbling down
 Shattered into a million peices that will never be found
Can't believe i let my self be fouled into thinking your a fantastic dad
 But in thruth your only a clown 
A joke that's what you are a child stuck in a 50 year old man 
 The mask you've worn for so many years has finally sunck so deep it made you blind
You can't see your choices and mistakes are what make your binds 
 You went so low to take mama's life 
Why because she wanted out of the marriage and you out of her life 
 I remeber the day as though it were yesterday images replaying itself just by your name 
You banging on the door to let you in 
 Saying if we dont today will be are end 
That was the first time i seen big sister so scared 
 Crying and screaming with all her might for help 
That was torture to bear 
 Looking into mama's eyes there was nothing but fear
Not for herself but her children who were there 
 Crying there eyes out and screaming for there mothers help 
To think the man i once called father  the one who gave me life 
 Who told me multiple times he'd always be there is my greatest fear 
Everyday before i walk out the door of my house 
 I close my eyes lift my hands and pray to the lord 
Hoping he'd bring back the gently kind man that i held so dear 
 But iknow in my Mind and in my Heart it's 
    only and Open Fantasy


Details | I do not know? | |

Beauty Raped Within

It must be hard
To be soooo  beautiful...
That all everyone sees 
Is your outside
They want to touch
And rape
The physical beauty of who you are
They do not want to see
The inside
The beauty within...
The shy quiet strength
The strong sudden passions
The small child
Who cries out in the night or day
And no one hears her
The innocence lost...
At the hands of the one
Who claimed to have loved her
That same child
Tries to rise above
And conquer the DEMONS within...
She wants to be strong
But the heart inside of her
Is only a child
It is weak
And it only wants to be protected
Mother, where are you?
Father, why can't you love me?
And let me, be me
Why must you steal my childhood?
Why must you make me be
The living DEAD
A murdered tortured soul
Forced to walk around
Inside of a DEAD body


Details | Free verse | |

Merry Christmas, Dad

Merry Christmas, Dad
     by Amy Swanson   


Dad,

    I always think of you
           every day...
              but holidays like this

can make it a little harder.

I hear the Christmas songs of cheer
     see the lights up in the square
           the busy murmurs of people
               shopping for their loved ones...

It seems almost perfect.

The tree, the lights,
      the gifts,
          the songs and plays
              joyful vacation days;

but something's missing.

The voice that rang throughout the house
      Christmas season
            singing triumphantly, beautifullly
                  "O Holy Night"

I still can't listen to that song
    without hearing
         your strong voice
               in my ears.

The hands that wiped my tears,
     wrapped my Christmas presents
           made his special "banana pudding recipe"
                left me letters from Santa.

Oh dad... how I miss you.

I know they say time heals
      and life goes on
          and all those other wonderful cliches
                 that people always tell you

simply because they don't know what else to say.


I will never forget you - my hero, my protector.

I speak of you often
    to my own little girl
         want her to know
              the grandpa she can't meet yet...

the grandpa who would love her so.

Dad, you are always in our hearts and minds,
     I never got to say thank you...
         for everything.
              for helping me to be

the woman I am today.

I look at my reflection in the mirror - I can also see you.
   I sing my songs - and I can also hear you.
       I laugh... and sometimes I can hear your laughter too.
           My daughter smiles at me... and you are in her smile.

I wish that you could know how much
     you've always meant to me
         and all the things that you have done
              to shape my life, so positively...

But all that I can say,
        is this:

Merry Christmas, Dad.

I love you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Reminisce

I remember when I was verbally bullied,
I would not tell my parents or teacher 
Of what was happening.
I would only take it all in solitary stride,
I remember always feeling 
Both sad and happy in being alone.

I think about it now,
I realize the reasons why I was bullied, why
I was resentful of those who done so to me.
I realize how silly it all was as a whole. 

I notice how it seems to be my fault,
I rejected their offers for friendship.
I still think I was right,
I intuitively knew of their potential two-faced sides.

I have had friends long before then.
I unwillingly moved elsewhere 
(Away from mine friends back then).
I seem to have lost them 
For as long as I shall continue to live.
I eventually had no one 
But [one] older and [some] younger cousins.

I remember when I was my parents' only beloved little one.
I would have everything a child wanted and needed.
I realized my parents often never played with me,
I have come to feel
They were never a good refuge for my feelings anyway.

I see how I've changed from a beloved child 
To now this lonely soul.
I notice how everybody else eventually changes.
I have had good few friends 
In these passing recent years of youth.
I have taken the toll that life has had in place for me.

I reminisce it all now,
I felt so alone, still feel so alone.
I remember my pain, I remember my joys,
I still console myself alone.

I notice how everything is not the same,
I realize the happier days of my past cannot repeat.
I know even if they did then I would face it all again.
I forever now accept it all to be an essential part of me.


Details | Free verse | |

They

A she wolf was born
She was a stunning white
She always smiled and was filled with innocence
She lived in an ivory cage fashioned with bones
Then They came
They took her happiness and ripped it to shreds
They hissed insults and vulgarities into her ears
They took her prisoner in her own mind

The abuse They caused tore her down
Her white fur turned matted and black
Her smile turned into a gruesome grisly snarl
They chained her up
She pulled at the chain and it ripped at her neck
It clawed at her flesh and blood trickled down her neck

Then the chain snapped
She launched forward and attacked Them
Gore and guts flew everywhere
They tried to fight back but she was angry
The few survivors knelt and bowed and pleaded
Saying how it was a misunderstanding
Saying how they never meant it
But she laid back her ears and hissed a simple word
There are no misunderstandings

There is a wolf in all of us
They are all born with innocence and happiness
They all live in an ivory cage of bones
They will always come
They will hiss vulgarities and insults in its ears
Then the chain will snap
But beware
Once your wolf’s chain snaps
There is no fixing it


Details | Free verse | |

Guardian Angel

He holds her silently, he holds her close, he's there even though she never know. He takes away her stress; he takes away her pain, he takes her away from the world, she feels loved again. When people come and take him away, she is lost and scarred every day. Her hope of him is fading, her fear and heartache is growing. She misses his touch, she misses his kisses. Her angel holds her while she cries, her angel steadies her and holds her when she tries. He knows she hurts, he knows he's gone but he's been there, he's been there all along. She can't see him in the dark or in the light, but she feels her angel holding her day and night. "No need to worry, no need to fear, you may not see me, but I am here." He whispers as he kisses her head while she lays soft and dreaming in her bed.


Details | I do not know? | |

Story of a Child

A little girl walked to school one day to find her friends already playing. She stood 
wordlessly, and watch them pass a ball about. They ran and frolicked, and 
jumped with glee. With out even a word passed her way. As silently as she came 
she turned and left. 
In the school she went down turning halls, and up twisting stairs. To the highest 
point she could find. Here she sat near a window facing her friends down below. 
She removed a book from her bag. Its cover was black, and lacked a title. She 
opened it, its pages were blank, and began to write a story. 
Many years came, and passed, her friends had all gone on to different schools. 
Some stayed in contact with one another, but as they grew so did the distance 
between them. The friendship that had meant so much years ago, had all but 
vanished, But the little girl always remained.
One day a teacher approached the little girl, and asked her why she wasn’t 
playing outside with her friends. The little girl dropped her pencil, and looked up 
at the teacher with a smile. 
The unity between friends will never last, but in my story it can last forever. 
The little girl picked her pencil up, and began to write once more. The teacher 
walked off still astonished to hear such words from a child. She was almost out 
the room when she turned, and faced the little girl. 
Your right friendship doesn’t last, but it will also never die. For every persons life 
you touch a part of them you take as they take a part of you. New friends will 
come, old ones will leave, but that part will always be yours. Yours to keep, it 
helps unite us, it helps make us one. 
The little girl closed her book, and then she vanished. The teacher walked closer 
to the desk, but found only dust. The book still laid atop the desk. The teacher 
picked it up, and began to read its story. She cried while reading, she cried at the 
end. The story of a child who’s life had come to an end. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Sleep

When I Sleep...... Nightmares haunt me in my sleep And chase away the pleasant dreams One by one they steal my sleep And leave me with a need to flee These mares they have an evil plan To steal the sleep from all the land And as they charge into my dreams They steal the peace I need to sleep I lay down now to feed the need To rest my eyes, I need the sleep Sandman come and storm near me I need your help To get my sleep Tempest bless me with your clock Tick and Tock Please make time stop Wind and rain and thunder strong Cease my mind and lull me along Mother Nature hear my plea Keep me safe, watch over me Give me wings to reach my dreams But keep me safe from these dangerous things The night mares They still come for me But now they find I can't be reached At last I find a peaceful sleep With all of thee protecting me Come now and stay by me Provide me with A good night's sleep But let it end at daylight's break I am alive My soul is safe


Details | Rhyme | |

HEALING FROM A BROKEN HEART-PART ONE

I suffered from being hit,
It sometimes hurt to sit:
Bruised and battered one day,
My mother loved me in her own way:
I went to school with a bloody nose,
It didn't matter if it shows:
It embarrassed me so much,
I turned to God for a loving touch:
My tooth was knocked out with a hair brush,
My mother said not to tell, "hush":
My heart was broken a lot,
My mother never got caught:
My broken heart is healing everyday,
God loves me every way:
I thank God for healing me,
I know that he cried with me, you see.


Details | I do not know? | |

Wide open eyes

What will happen to me.
i didnt want to know.
she gave the advice i didnt want.
will i fail
will i keep my head high
im afraid,
deathly.
of whoever has chosen my fate
i dared to ask.
she says
who knows, 
not i said she
believe what you believe, 
love what you love,
and live how you havent lived
i thank her
and told her,
her ramblings didnt make sense.
so just go away.
i get up, grab my ciggs,
my lighter, 
and head to the bathroom
im back to where i started
staring at another white wall
smoke clouding my brain
the deathly smell lingering and clinging to my hair
I think i think i think
when ill quit these bad habits.
and open my wide eyes?


Details | Free verse | |

To Sea

To Sea

I would like to think that
The big, white birds soaring
Over choppy waters
Or the way my camera captures
A straight, bold beam of light
Is a vision of sorts –
A gift from you,
To me.
This vision would say:
	“Hey!
		I’m still around,
Right here –
I linger where our bodies first touched on
Warm summer ground”
I would like to think that
You are watching us,
Now –
The strips of bark have become
Sea worthy vessels;
The children, captains of 
Sticks-and-Sand,
They run amok, marvelously
On this jutting peninsula
Just as, once, you and I.
I would like to think that
We haven’t lost touch –
Not really;
You are merely seeking solace in
Strong, biting winds as they
Blow by the dockside;
That you are merely warming
Wings yet too weak to
Fly.
I would like to believe that 
The caress of breath on my
Shoulder is you.
I turn.
You are gone.


Details | I do not know? | |

MY SON

i remember when my son was 8 years old                                                                                 
he was a good boy                                                                                                                       
he would go out and find old tires to sell                                                                                   
so we could have something to eat                                                                                           
at the time it was hard four me to raising my kids all alone                                                    
with no one to help execpt my 8 year old son going out making money to give me               
i love my children with all my heart they mean the world to me                                              
i look out these days, you dont see 8 year old boys trying to help feed there family             
instead you see 8 year old boys joining gangs and getting in trouble                                     
i thank the lord every day that my son didn't join the gangs and get in to trouble.


Details | Lyric | |

The Day The Angels Came

I see her image sitting over there, all alone
Streaming tears running down her cheeks, on her face
Her soft little whimpering voice, a babies tone
I remember when she said c'mon daddy, let's have a race
It was her first time that she played, in the yard outside
I still recall her great big smile, on her tiny face
And the tears that ran down her cheek, when she cried
Because she tore her brand new dress, with the pink lace

She always was my little Angel, my only child
But I still cry when I remember, how mommy died giving birth
But those pains somehow went away, when my baby smiled
Oh how it was so cute that day, she caught a fish
It was only three inches long, but to her it was just something sticky
And how she loved taking flowers, to her Mommy's grave
She always made me smile and laugh, when she said daddy
Mommy's stone needs some paint, that it's old and gray

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky
And how the day was dark, when we buried her
Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face
In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

My heart did break that dreadful day, by a truck
As she ran out to get her ball, into the street
And when I picked her up she hugged my neck, where she was struck
I held her so tight to me, rapped in a sheet
She said daddy it'll be o.k., as I wiped blood from her feet
She said mommy says we'll be waiting, with God in heaven
I'll never forget how my heart was broke, there in the street
That day I lost my pride and joy, to some drunken men

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how the stars did shine that night, up in the sky
And how the day was dark, when we buried her
Now all I have are memories, of her smiling face
In the photograph hanging on the wall, and beside my bed
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

Oh! I still recall that dark sad day, when the Angels came
And how they took my baby girl, along home with them
Oh how my tears did fall that day, the Angels came
And when they took my baby girl, home with them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Is a sad song, Not a true story


Details | Rhyme | |

Hiding

I hide from the fear
of being alone
I hide from the pain
coming from my home
I hide because I feel as if nobodys there
I hide because I think nobody cares
People say they love me
but I dont think its true
I think they say that 
because they dont know what to do
They dont know how I feel
and they cant tell I hide
I only feel safe
when im outside
As the wind whistles in my ear
I dont have a thought, worry, or care
The rain helps me hide
as it blends with my tears
and washes away all my sorrow and fears
But when the rain stops
I go back inside
I put on my mask
and I start to hide


Details | Free verse | |

To Bury My Father~

What is so difficult about empathy?
Why do you not understand that awareness is the only way into that?
How can you love and yet not love at all?
The things you have done have given pain, suffering, grief, mourning.
Why would you not acknowledge this?
You break my heart.
Why do you do this?
You trouble me, you always have.
You made me lie, when I didn't want to.
You fooled me, you hurt Mom. 
You cursed your Mother, your own Mother, a terrible loyalty disease. Ravaged her.
You made me scared, when you should not have.
I needed your warm, bristly face against mine, more splendid than sunshine.
I needed to feel your hands loving me, not fondling me.
I felt tormented, some days you still cut me so deep.
I had to choose. I chose.
You had to fall, my need for you had to die.
I have buried you in me. Dug myself open, filled the air with the smell of my open 
body..roses, jasmine, blood, innocence, tears, salt.
Put you in a black coffin. Tucked your dead body inside of my raw and bleeding soul. 
Threw the earth over you. That's where you are Daddy, forever.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Eternal Child

	 
Amidst the clouded ruins of our city she sat.
Not a ghost of the past, but in flesh.		
Her face adorned with childish delight. 
Her eyes, scarlet almost iridescent.
Her stare, unwavering.					
She did not blink, or look away, the sky was all she saw.
Ignorantly I stood.
A feeling aroused in me, or rather a want for her to look my way. 
Not long did I wait till my wish was granted.
The sky was no longer the sickly gray twisting storm I had always known.
The wreckage she sat on was now a magnificent structure that towered into the 
sky.
The dark lifeless ground was no longer, but covered in green hairs.
A bright ball of light far up in the sky filled me with warmth the likes I’ve never 
known.
The moment so brief.
So ephemeral, but for a time did she stare in to my eyes.
The world returned to the way I had always known.		
Her stare back to the sky. 
It was then i came to know.
She stares not at the sky, but a world that had long since been lost.


Details | Free verse | |

Writing from a lost cause

All my life I have dreamed of doing something amazing,
Accomplishing the impossible,
Climbing a mountain of
Negativity to find myself on a path of righteousness.

Alas, that is not what I have some to be,
I am a mere soul who wonders aimlessly through the world,
No cause
No purpose
Nothing.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Love of The Untold

Things happen for a reason The reason is because it’s that time Mistakes happen for a reason The reason is so you can forgive The beginning was fun while it lasted But the ending is coming sooner than I thought I gave all I had but what did you give me It takes two to love, which means I need you So tell me what I’m gonna do without your love Can’t get enough even after all the bull I went through I still couldn’t get over you tried to find another to hold To show my love and affection but … I had to let them go all was in the head was you I go through hell to fight for you I just wish these girls would stop falling for you From Mya to Rihanna, hold up Let me guess who’s next a girl named Tiana What do I need? To be crowed with a tiara Just to be you princess You’ll love every hour The time has come for me to stop holding in And let these little girls know I’m #1 not #10 I’m not her and she is not I We’re two different people You just can’t see it through your own eyes I have my own unique things about me She’s just trying to take over you Our fairytale is over Yeah the one when true love dies Cause the stupid little boy wouldn’t open up his eyes My past and mistakes you hold against me From the things I do and what I say Wrong or right You fail me on this test I might just be put together as a mess But trust imma strive for the best Not for you, but the girls who gave up And where pushed from the dream by the rest This is for the girls who gave up on love The story of the untold..


Details | Rhyme | |

At War with Himself

His screams are deafening, but his smile warms me from head to toe
He’s in constant battle with himself.  Why can’t he let it go?
What torments his mind would leave you asking, what’s the big deal?
But to him, these struggles are all too real

“We’re out of waffles,” “we missed the bus,”
“Our plans have changed”; it all causes a fuss.
“You lied!” he yells and he believes it to be true.
To him, everything is black and white, as simple as 1+1 = 2
 
For him, plans don’t change.  Instead they were never to be.
He blames others for allowing the changes to happen, because he’s unable to see,
that some things are out of our control, no matter how much we prepare.
Does he not realize all the factors that contribute or does he just not care?

He sees things much differently than you and I
This can be a glorious thing, but it can also make me want to cry
He has such an amazing eye for detail and it shows in his artwork
But if things don’t go his way he can be an incredible jerk

I remind myself that he can’t help the way he reacts
He has ADHD and Anxiety Disorder; these are the facts
His outbursts drain me; in body and mind
And leave his little brother crying, “Can we rewind?”

It breaks my heart that I can’t do more.  
He’s a brilliant little boy, but his brain is at war.  
He worries more than any parent would.  
I wish there was a way to make him see that stressing doesn’t do any good.

He’s constantly working things out in his head.
Which makes it quite a challenge to get him to go to bed.
Unable to sit through a movie without multiple discussions about it,
His topics twist and turn, spanning the gamut.

He calls himself stupid, even threatens suicide.
His inner battles not only cause explosions, they also make him want to hide.
Fear of embarrassment and exile help him to contain his explosions at school.
But in the safety of his home, he has no concerns of acting the fool.

What I can provide him are boundaries, love, and support.
I need to maintain my patience and prevent my fuse from becoming short.
“Try Harder” is not an expression I frequent.
He’s trying as hard as he can to be decent.

Instead we have an agreement that we’re both allowed to make mistakes.
As long as we apologize and continue to try, growth can never come too late.


Details | Bio | |

Think

I think to find what I seek, but what I seek is something I can not think of
For what I seek is to serve, serve my country
For when I grow I will change to find the light to the path to serve as a woman soldier and if I shall die I want you to think I died, but I died trying, serving. and saving the lives of the people to bring peace and harmony to the people of my country


Details | Couplet | |

When I Was A King

Woken was the king to a reality when he was once great. 
He rises to his feet to rise to the occasion, but only to find out he’s years too late. 

You see, all good things must come to an end. 
There are more things important than the money you spend.

Time is on the side to those who side with it.
Don’t blink because beauty you just might miss it.

The beast is the truth, and the lie you told yourself.
With love there is no need for wealth as I always say myself.

The throne slips through your fingers like sand.
No longer do you have a queen to hold your hand.

They say it’s better to have loved & lost than to have never loved at all.
I disagree because I see her face on every girl as she is my downfall.

However, you cannot force a king to rule. 
He might be cut out to jester or be a petty fool. 

The queen may never have been a queen to start.
She might take your riches & rob your heart.

I was once a king…
But I’m nothing more than a boy lost in love with no hand for my ring. 

I guess love had my imagination in an odd place.
Either that or I should have seen the signs when you wanted “space.”

My mother always said my first love would be a fling…
But 3 years later I still feel like she was my queen & I was her king…


Details | Free verse | |

Die

My father whispered the word in my ear...

Die!

All of a sudden life turned into great fear.

Die!

Such an awful sounding word.

Die!

Makes me think we live in an awful world.

 

Will power...

Crumbles just like a flower.

Left in pain and agony for all to see.

That someone could lack so much care.

It's hard to even take a breath of air.

Will power...

 

My father whispered the word in my ear...

Die!

All of a sudden life turned into great fear.

Die!

Such an awful sounding word.

Die!

Makes me think we live in an awful world.

 

Plaguing my mind with intruding thoughts of death.

Maybe this will be my last breath.

Insanity is the only thing left.

With decades of torture and silence.

The only thing left to do is die!


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

my papa the rockstar

My Papa's a "Rockstar" but I never saw his show,
     yet people sure would stare at us wherever we would go.
He was the world to me for him my eyes shone so bright,
     that was before I knew the diffrence between wrong and right.
Back when as long as he came around hi9s absences meant nothing to me,
     for I thought he was just the kind of man I wanted to grow to be.
Innocence blinded me to every mistake taht by him was made,
     with that naivety, in the darkness I stayed.
Long after every-one knew my Papa was a "Rockstar", some seeing his show,
     I refused to see the depleted ghost of the man I used to know.
But the joyous memories of before became harder to recall,
     more of the withdrawing from our normal visits is what I saw.
Distant became my Papa who used to see me everyday,
     he needed desperately to find a way out yet couldn't see the way.
More and more I wanted him by my side,
     yet with every passing milestone he seemed to run and hide.
Disappointment took way to merely sad expectations for me,
     and slowly I came to realize he just wasn't the man I believed him to be.
It seems to me that he once had to be a man filled with pride,
     but perhaps when I was young he began his downward slide.
Now as a grown man myself I reminise of a man I once held in high regard,
     a man who simply couldn't cope when life came down and hit him hard.
A prospect once filled with potential, hope and uninhibitated ambition,
     a prospect who suddenly found himself stuck in a hopeless situation.
I now am painfully aware of what a "Rockstar" is and the substance that is his foe,
     and understand and appreciate that I was never submitted to his show.
He was once my best friend, my hero, my inspiration to it all,
     I'm glad I have thta memory being as I was too young to comprehend his
                                                greatest fall.


Details | Narrative | |

The Cold

   I stand alone from everyone.
In the dark morning shadow, cast down by a tree.
   It's long branches lingering above,
reaching out to touch me.
   I wait for a ride, with my hands down by my side.
The breeze comes, singing in the tree.
   Sweeping its way towards me.
Its cold.
   Yes very infuriatingly cold.
It crawls up my skin and sends...
   little prickles.
My flesh freezing to the slightest touch.
   Unable to move much.
I feel bitter, for I hate the cold.
   It makes me feel old.
For I am forced to remember, the old life I once lived.
   The things I had to give. 
The words left unsaid.
   The long ago snowy starry nights, full of porch and street lights.
Yes I remember very clearly, those dreadful long and lonely nights.
   I had my sister to keep me company, but no father.
For he would always be mad.
   Mad at me, mad at to whom or what I might turn out to be.
I hated him and with him, I hated the cold.
   The cold, that now sinks deep within my flesh and into my soal.

Dedicated to my Bastered father


Details | Rhyme | |

Summer's End

They days of the sun seem to fade
Joy and wonderment seem to stray
The heat and warmth are gone away

Nothing is left but cold hearts
Men shouting now it starts
Women crying in the dark

It come ever year 
Dry your eyes it's over dear
Winter is coming its here

Every girl needs a friend
Every boy needs a helping hand
Is that to much to ask for on Summer's end


Details | I do not know? | |

Relative

I know you
dark chocolate man 
a boy
once
barefeet in a tree
 connecting to a roof
i looked up at you
my local tarzan
too  scared to swing
not skilled enough
I watched you
googly eyed
no wrong....never wrong
jump at your beckon and call
I was a princess in your eyes
my protector...forever
my pedestal for you
dizzying
my googly eyes focused on you
Your words hurtful but perfect

I knew you
dark chocolate man
you carried me 
and I fell once
I looked at you through bloody eyes
I saw perfect
I saw you
cry...fear
i caused you to be scared...
i'm sorry
all forgiven

You...you look familiar
I heard words
i'm not a princess anymore
my protector left me
alone
i watch you 
burnt chocolate man
and feel you
i look at you through watery eyes 
where are you?
where are you...my prince....


Details | I do not know? | |

song

Shush baby 
Don’t you cry
That’s a generic lullaby

I wanna do something more
I wanna help you spread your wings and soar

C: So shush baby
Don’t you cry
I’ll find you a lullaby
Shush baby
Go back to sleep
At least pretend to count sheep

I love you
And we’ll make it through
Don’t you test me baby it’s true

I know he’s not here
Because he’s queer
But we’ll get through somehow

You don’t need a dad and I don’t need a man
To survive

-C-

At the end of the day
He wouldn’t care anyway
You need to accept the fact
That he’s never coming back

I’ll make the money
I’ll be your one true dad

You don’t need him to hug you when you’re sad
I can do it all

-C- (x2)


Details | Free verse | |

Father</