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Quatrain Depression Poems | Quatrain Poems About Depression

These Quatrain Depression poems are examples of Quatrain poems about Depression. These are the best examples of Quatrain Depression poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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My Torment

A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun

Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion

The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me

And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul

And then that familiar salty smell 
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things

Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts

And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher

Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror

There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same


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The Madness In My Mind

Walking through the darkness
of the madness in my mind
I stumble on the pieces
of the twisted thoughts I find
I think about the way I am
and what I'll never be
as I sort through the wreckage
of what once was known as me
Searching for the sunshine
I am drowning in the rain
submerged in black emotion
I'm infused with all it's pain
There is no way I can escape
this hell inside my head
and though I am still breathing
I've become the living dead
In my heart I'm grieving
for a life I'll never know
I'm begging for my freedom
as I feel my madness grow
I am praying for redemption
as I choke on bitter tears
but I cannot find forgiveness
as I'm swallowed by my fears

I wonder if they see it
when they look into my eyes
I'm torn apart and weakened
as in silence my heart cries
and all the feelings that I hold
are suffocating me
as they cut and claw my mind
until they're all I see
Time is rushing by me
I am tired, growing old
the winds of change are blowing
and their bite is harsh and cold
I keep fighting for my freedom
but my freedom I won't find
as long as I am living
in the madness of my mind
Living with my madness
is the only life I know
and so much time is wasted
as my useless teardrops flow
I don't need to see tomorrow
should it be just like today
while I'm living in my madness
I'm not living anyway





Note: This was written after a bout with my depression and all is well!  To quote a dear, 
beloved friend, I am “Making lemonade”!  Love, Robin


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Questions Unanswered

Another day comes
another one goes
and when it will end
no one really knows
time marches faster
with each passing day
as I'm watching life
just slipping away.
The hours tick by
as into the night
hurting and hopeless
devoid of my light
I'm seeking answers
to set my mind free
should I keep trying
or should I still be?
Where am I going
and what should I do
am I a failure
who's washed up and through?
The rest of the days
that I have left here
surely are numbered.
my heart sheds a tear.
So much time wasted
so many dreams killed
I feel my heart quake
another tear's spilled.
The morning draws near
no answers I find
searching these chambers
alone in my mind.
Do I have value
and what is my worth
am I just wasting
my time on this earth?
Answers evade me
as time ticks away
my heart is weeping
as I kneel to pray.
Dear God please tell me
please give me a sign
am I just crazy
by my own design?
Will I be able
to conquer my pain
or will I always
feel like I'm insane?
What is my meaning
where do I fit in
before my life's through
why did it begin?
Questiond unanswered
I notice the sun
another day's over
another's begun.


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Sailing These Seas

Sailing these seas, right now the waves are rough.
The ship is hard to steer, and I fear we may sink.
My crew has hope, but they don’t see what I do.
The water’s looking troubled, just like the way I think.

Sailing these seas, the waves have settled down.
The ship is sailing smoothly, I believe we’ll be okay.
My worries are at the back of my head.
I’ll save them for another day.

Sailing these seas, I think we’ve struck something!
My crew is in a panic, and I was not prepared.
Captain, don’t you know you always have to be cautious?
Even the leader sometimes gets scared.

Arriving at the shore, the ship barely intact.
Most of my crew is gone, but a few knew how to live.
They saved me when I needed them.
I want to show thanks, but I have nothing left to give.

*side note*

To me, this poem sort of symbolizes depression, while indirectly talking about it.

The first verse pretty much says
"I am in a bad place, and I have supporting friends/family, but they don't see what I'm going through the way I do."

Second: "Things are getting better and I've decided to stop worrying about bad things happening and try to be happy."

Third: "Whenever I start thinking about good things and have hope, something bad always happens and I should've been prepared for it."

Fourth: "I made it through it, but lost a lot of the people supporting me because they couldn't handle me while I was down, and whatever I went through weakened me so it's hard to show gratitude to the people who stayed."


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Amidst the Mists

Amidst the mists and coldest frosts,
With naked wrists and darkest souls,
She slams her fists against the bars,
And still she screams she sees the ghosts.

Through summer days and autumn nights,
Through season’s end and blinded sights,
They keep her down and clip her wings,
To mute the lovely song she sings.

In troubled times for modest lives,
To see the truth beyond the lies,
As time goes by and death comes 'round,
Her body’s cast upon the ground.

Through hearts of ice and hands of stone,
The devil’s wife’s possessed the throne.
But even though pain’s at it’s most,
She’ll still admit she’s seen the ghosts.


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Where She Stands

A wildflower stands erect
Soaking in rays of radiance
As the bees and townsfolk buzz
And the wind sways in a slow dance 

Contentment is where she stands
Until she spots something missing
Among all the townsfolk talk
She was bound to start listening

Was in the clouds but now on land
Leans in to get a better view
A life involved with others
But she doesn't know what to do

Clueless but curious
Tries to start a conversation
In search of a smile
Doesn't find it in rejection

Caring but cautious
Hoping to look approachable
In search of a word
Doesn't happen when you're invisible

Confused and crushed
World doesn't make much sense
In search of a friend
Everything is better in ignorance

Laughter among all but her
She hides her eyes in sorrow
A life void of others
No hope for tomorrow

Disappointment is where she stands
Teased by something she can't have
Alone among a crowded crowd
Her heart wounded by lonesome's stab

A wildflower builds a wall
Unsure if she can be saved
Brick by brick is stacked
Her own prison's being paved


May 2010


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An Evening in with the Cat

If I had a bottle of pills
I’d dump them out inside my mouth
Take the last few swigs of vodka
And swallow all of them down

If I had a big sharp knife
I’d drag the cold steel across my skin
If I thought for a moment it might
Bring this feeling to an end

I’d stare down the barrel
If I had a gun
Find the trigger with my finger
Pull it and be done

If I had a car
I’d park inside the garage
Leave the motor running
Till the poison filled my lungs

If I had a rope
I’d make myself a noose
Dangle there in my own doorway
Till somebody cut me loose

If I had someone to love
I'd probably treat them bad
Since that's all that I've known
In relationships of the past

 If I had a heart in my chest
I'd be able to forgive and forget
But there is nothing left
Of that beating mass of flesh

So I'll just continue
Sitting all alone and in the dark
A typical evening in with the cat
Doesn't seem that bad after all.


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Minor Discomfort

Does everybody feel the same as I do?
Lost? Adrift? Disconnected? Confused?
Does anyone know how to ease the hurt of truth
For the accuser, as well as the accused?

I've heard there's bliss
Found somewhere in ignorance
For those who have been stripped
Of their already fleeting innocence

So I continue to move through this life
Practiced smile, that doesn't quite reach my eyes
Which instead reflect the emptiness
That fills me up inside

It hurts to feel so alone and uncertain
Consumed by doubt and fear
Eventually life becomes a burden
Damaged beyond all repair

The temptation to numb all sensation
It more powerful than one might believe
I'll sacrifice the pleasure, to relieve the devastation
As passion gives way to apathy

Say whatever you want
About those who dwell on the past
Go ahead and judge me from your moral soapbox
While you cower behind your mask

The opinions of most matter very little to me
It won't be taken to heart as you intend it to be
First you'd have to practice the words you preach
If you ever do then I promise I'll start listening


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Orange Little Ball

An orange little ball,
Tattered and torn to bits,
No longer does it fly straight,
Its course lost, its path in fits,

An orange little ball,
Sad within its cracks and in its creases,
Faded bumps, its lost its grip,
It now falls to pieces,

Orange little ball,
Come to death smiling,
Never live just to die,
Happiness lives in and amidst the crying,

Orange little ball,
Wipe the tears away,
There is peace to be found,
In and amongst the fray.


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To a Despondent Friend

Of all the treasures one can own,
The greatest of these is love.
You're loved by me and many more
And by your God above.

Sometimes we must turn from ourselves
To fully understand
The loveliness surrounding us
As bounty from His hand.

Take heart my friend, you are needed
On this earth God has made.
Whether as sunflower in the sun
Or violet in the shade.

Each and everything has a place
In the greater scheme of things;
The mole burrowing under ground
Or eagle with his wings.

God loves you and is well aware.
He knows how deep your pain.
No matter how long the journey,
The road will turn again.

One day lasts twenty-four hours
And not one minute more.
Your ship is sailing with the tide
And soon you'll sight the shore.

The storms of sea will be behind
Despairs and fears all done.
Take heart my friend, we're here until
You new day has begun.

By: Joyce Johnson


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Depression


I find myself looking at the ground For there is no rainbow in the sky The pot of gold has turned to dust No answer to the question "why ?"....
written after thinking about all the recent discussion about depression.


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Unhappy Reflection

My harshest critic is the mirror,
Revealing to me...I haven't moved on.
My life has no current of happiness,
Just a stagnant still pond.

I dwell in a lonely atmosphere,
Though surrounded by numerous friends.
I feel the happiness...I once had,
Has came to an untimely end.

A numbness in my emotions,
The haziness never gets clearer.
It's now what people say about me,
My harshest critic is the mirror.


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Sharpening the Knife

So what
Don't give me that look
It was just a cut
I am no crook

I feel better
To see my arm bleed
You yell, "Get Her"
But the cut is my feed

Why do you make me stop?
It doesn't hurt that bad
You are not some sort of cop
Cutting makes me glad

I don't feel anymore
But the sharp blade
I am no longer hurting in the core
All the feelings fade

I wear a jacket
To cover the scars
And I'll have to hack it
They are my permanent memoirs

So I'll just sit
And sharpen the knife
Don't throw a fit
This is my life

It's not like you know pain
I do, more then others
I live life in vain
And I won't get help from my mother

I don't want your help
Just leave me alone
So just hush your yelp
Don't give me that tone

This is my choice
Not yours to say
The cut is my voice
So just let me waste away...


This is for anyone, who has felt alone, you aren't, things can never be as bad as they seem, just keep 
moving and never give up.



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My Chagrin

Once again to my chagrin
     This nightmare perseveres
And through the glass it comes to pass
     To feed upon my fears

And it seems to slay my dreams
     And in their stead leave blind
Mine own two eyes to that one prize
     My soul doth seek to find

Still I pray that night gives way
     And cures this circumstance
That captive holds my weary soul
     Within it's darkened trance

And perhaps lay loose the straps
     That bind me to this cross
And free from 'round my neck now bound
     This curs'ed albatross


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Moment of Madness

Vultures of doubt hover in my mind
Death beckons me
Live like a Stranger in my abode
Naught for me to live

Sparrows tweet around
On the soil beside me
Bend down, I sip water
Made muddy by rain

Came out of my walls
Tears flow down my eyes
Quench my parched throat
My hearts start beating

Feel light and tranquil
Sky is my home
Birds are my friends
Dogs line up to seek food

Push all away, I laugh aloud
My plate was empty a moment ago
Brimming with madness
My hands are full


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Goodbye Heartache

What have I done? 
Have I thrown it all away? 
Can I ever get it back? 
Has my life gone astray?

Questions with no answers
Confusion my only friend
I keep hoping to find me
It’s like spitting in the wind

I look all around me 
I see you standing there
But nothing that you do
Shows me that you care

One minute I think I see it
A love so pure and true
Then as I blink I realize
There’s nothing here but YOU

You want me for what I give 
And use me for all I do 
Nothing I’ve ever wanted
Seems to be important to you

It was a simple promise
A vow from within my soul
Now I’m trying to find myself
But feeling very alone

As you sleep I hear the sighs
Born within the man I know
Wanting me to be different
Accepting me; OH NO

I have given everything 
To make this marriage work
But now I feel I must move on
No matter how it hurts

Goodbye to the heartache
So long to the pain
It’s time to find the little
Of my heart that still remains.


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The Taste Of Freedom

I got a taste of freedom
it lasted a little while.
I got a glimpse of how it felt
to see the sun and smile.

It reminded me of who I was
someone I'd lost along the way,
felt good to step inside her head
oh I wish that I could stay.

But the sky is getting darker
black clouds again descend
and I go back to living numb
with a smile that's pretend.

With reluctance I must step
back to my cage once more
but now I feel the pain much greater
as I watch its closing door.

So while I tasted freedom
it is something bitter sweet
for now it's gone, the darkness
feels heavy with defeat.


April 1 2011


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Win or Lose

In our complicated lives, some will win and all will die. Joy and pain, our common threads, laughter comes and tears we cry. At these crossroads, I have endured sorrow and pain through darkest days. Shadows smothered sleepless nights. My sunny skies turned shades of gray. I could suffer in self-pity, not forgive and hide my smile. I could act out the loser's role and let the darkness stay awhile. I choose to win and overcome, yet clouds sometimes blow in again. I just can't win, my heart cries out. Then my soul cries, yes you can. By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders for I Just Can't Win contest (Joe Flach)


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wasted my time

No curse words allowed
are you confused, lost, ignorant
you are no artist, you have shunned art
and its true purpose
what is art? but an expression
the low and vile are the most potent
Did you forget, Emerson The Poet
He would call you "selfish and sensual"
"an umpire of taste"
"proof of the shallowness of the doctrine of beauty"
in a world of suffering, of loss
Art isnt happy, and flowers in the park
you, in your confusion, hide in the dark
hide any truths of pain and suffering
and by doing so you have lost your soul
You are only half a person
art is an expression of life and its hidden
what is in a word? something to hide from?
something to fear? to censor? to fight?
are you that ashamed of language?
honesty? expressions of shame?
You are no poet, no artist
you are no immortal, 
of course you are so cowardly and weak
you will hide from me, censor me,
avoid the truth, lie to the world
if you cant stomach a curse word
then you cant handle me 
any immortal would crush you
and leave you wounded
truly contemplating your life
breaking you open, forcing you alive
then, maybe then, you will have an emotion,
worthy of expression into art. 
but dont get mad at me, angry or hurt
You may just use a curse word


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Alone And Blue

The wind whispers through the night
Cool against the mist on my skin
A neon sign that reads "Motel" lights my way
Hundreds more have lit where I've been

This night isn't unlike countless before
Walking endlessly with nowhere to go
I pass a drunk in a doorway
And think "now there's something I know"

All I own is here on my back
And the memories I have of you
Lost everything when you left
Now I walk Alone and Blue

Alone and Blue
Living with memories of you
Alone and Blue
What the hell am I going to do

Alone and Blue
No matter how hard I try
Alone and Blue
You never even told me why

Sometimes I wish it would all end
All the pain and suffering gone
Putting my weary mind at ease
My soul could then carry on

But until then I walk through the mist
That rides upon the whispering winds
And go on hearing your voice
My sanity... I try to defend

Alone and Blue
Living with memories of you
Alone and Blue
Are you lonely too??


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I Am

I am a frightened spirit
I wait to be set free
I'm a prisoner of the darkness
that has always been with me
a side effect of the disease
in my infected mind
where conflict and self hatred 
are what I so often find

I am weakened by my journey
on a road that's been too long
in futility I've searched
to find where I belong
as the years accumulate
I can so clearly see
that I should have never been
there is no place for me

I am counting down how many beats
I have left in my heart
as I pick up scattered pieces
every time it's torn apart
the pieces grow more ragged
and more difficult to mend
when there is nothing left to fix
so will the carnage end

I am standing at the gravesite
of my dreams which have all died
acknowledging that I have failed
as hard as I have tried
I am slowly drowning
in a river made of tears
as I count the corpses
I've collected through the years

I am a wounded spirit
never wanted in this world
I have been shown my value
with each heartache it's unfurled
I am so much of nothing
and it's all I'll ever be
I'm waiting for the day to come
when death will rescue me

I am praying for that day to come
to hurry on it's way
for where I am not wanted
I do not want to stay
I am a tortured spirit
waiting for my life to cease
waiting for the time to come
when I can rest in peace

I am a summation
of the pain I've always known
a fertile mass of flesh designed
for malice to be sown
I'm a lost and weary victim
trapped in my insanity
I am a frightened spirit
I wait to be set free


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Yet Another Mortal To Be

This frustration strikes me each day
My efforts seem obsolete. 
With every passing second i think, 
if there's bliss i should ever meet? 

Life has got stagnant.
Even the air seems immobile.
I search for refuge, 
a friend of need, may be, for a while. 

I search for refuge, 
in poems of all might.
The darkest of them all 
to me, seem just right.

I crawl helplessly 
Battling the heart and mind. 
But the world is busy it seems 
To give a thought of such kind. 

Freedom is all that i need now 
I'm sighting an end thats truly mine.
And so there would be less to lose 
And quit life,
something i could never define! 




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We are ALL a little CRAZY

You say I'm a little crazy
And I heartily agree….
But this you must be sure of
Crazy's not confined to me!

We are ALL a little crazy
In all minds, a monster or two
A little bit of insanity
Grows and thrives inside of YOU!

The fears that lurk in the shadows
The voiceless terrors of day
The psychosis that lingers
That whispers, "You're not OK!"

Yes, I'm a little crazy
My mind’s lost in the abyss
I'm sure that I’ve seen you there
In that crazy land of bliss!

Yes, I need a happy pill
To get me through my day
At least I know my "crazy"
Is being kept at bay!

Yes, I'm a little crazy
I have a troubled mind
But don't you dare go and tell me
That I'm just one of a kind!

I know that you have issues
For you're human; are you not?
So don't pretend you're "normal"!
At times, YOU have lost the plot.

Yes, I'm a little crazy
Just look at me and sneer
But me thinks your brand of "crazy"
Is the one to really fear!!!!!

Eileen Manassian Ghali


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Why

Amazing love  begs perception,
wide the fields' uncertainty,
deep the valleys of depression,
Why me, Lord, why tragedy?

When difficulties we embrace,
is accident on purpose?
Seeds produced by misfortune's grace
lie just below the surface.

Roots of hope with blooms that rally
smother buds of pain and doubt.
These are lilies of the valley
turning breakdowns wrong side out.

Trust becomes our rose of Sharon
that is stayed by sacred sheath.
Watch the maze of weeds turn barren
as raring love springs thru the heath.



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Pearls Before Glass

Behind the facade, angry gnashing of white,
Eyes filled with hatred as they flash past the plea,
Locking steel shovels powered by thew and by might,
Throw love's trust like freed pearls into the night sea.

The fiend, altered in form, while its rage to her known, 
Now desperately trying, his guilt to conceal, 
Whispers of innocence to lambs he now moans, 
As she buckles beneath the contempt they all feel.

As the gavel meets ice, the truth finally sown,  
Stained glass cuts deeper than glass with no zeal,
No longer hidden, the wounds he must own, 
But God will call forth the harvest to heal.

She prays her bruised heart will never grow cold, 
Looking forth to a time of deep sorrow with dread, 
If this hardship she faces brings glory untold,
Dare she ask it be given another instead?


YLE   Feb 2011


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Raging Flood Waters

Raging flood waters, rush to the sea
Grace the land renewed well watered  
Recede, recede leave bright flowers
Rush to the sea, raging flood waters

Is not the sky empty, pray tell
All those waters the drought has quelled
Blessings abundant rained plenty
Pray tell, is not the sky empty

The parched dry land, a land parched dry
Needing blessings from the blue sky
Just a touch from the master's hand
A land parched dry, the parched dry land

Still a work in progress


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Black Cloud

This black cloud of mine is heavy
I think it's going to pour
one day it's rain will start to fall
and I know I'll drown for sure.

I'm waiting for the lightening strike
and the thunder start to roll
this cloud has followed me for weeks
it's now eating at my soul

It's something that I can't escape
this storm is overdue
I just hope when black clouds pass
there will be a better view.


Brian Strand's 'Two thru twele contest'
2nd place


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Auto Pilot

It is not enough 
For you to want to save me
Not even all your love
Could serve to liberate me

So flee from me in fear
Do not allow your emotions to be stirred
Dry your eyes of their empathic tears
They will only leave your vision blurred

For I am a soulless mechanism
seeking only my own gratification
A force of powerful pessimism
My life a result of such manifestation

So sweet of you to offer your light
But my void will blot it out
You can't illuminate the darkness inside
Into the darkness I will drag you down

This isn't who I wanted to be
It's who I've become just the same
Your eyes may be open but you'll never see
And I can no further explain


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Drowning

I feel as though I'm drowning
in a non-existent sea
being thrown about by waves
that just wont let me be.

I try so hard to reach dry land
my breath to try and catch
but this tide is just too strong
for it I am no match.

This ocean keeps me choking
while it's hold gets ever tight
I feel as though I now exist
in some never ending fight.

But as this sea does drag me
into it's waters deep
I just add to what is drowning
with the rivers of tears I weep.


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So Long

We said goodbye two years ago today -
I'll never forget the way I felt that day.
I couldn't breathe when the door closed between us
And your taillights dimmed as you drove away.

I never thought i'd breathe the same again,
As pain took away all my wind -
And i stood there deflated and broken
Refusing to accept the bitter end.

It happened on my best friend's wedding day.
I'll never understand why you did it that way -
I had visions of our wedding as I was standing there
But you ruined that for me and left my heart betrayed.

I never thought i'd get over it, not in a million years.
I cried what seemed a river's worh of tears.
I mourned for you like someone mourns the dead -
It was the realization of all my fears.

But once the salt left my wounds, I realized I was free,
Free from all the emotional torture you gave me.
Free from wondering where you were -
Free from the fragile little girl you made me be.

And I never looked back once you were gone.
I learned how hurt can make you strong,
I learned what a real man should be.
And with that, my old dear lover, so long.


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I just found out the truth

I just found out, that once the road ends Love will not wish to dance There, where the road ends The day stops hence! A road as curly as life With twists hidden in its carafe In which the coffee becomes faith And the aroma gives strength I just found out, that there may be a vision Yet, it is mere illusion Meant to brume our reason Coming throughout whatever be the season! I just found out, that once the road ends I shall have to rely on my own hands Pray, show me the way, oh long road Show me the way through the miracle of a word!


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Questions Unanswered

Lightning flashes and the rain falls
as the storm rages on tonight,
the family is so worried about you
and wanting to know you're alright.

Late, last Sunday afternoon
you tried to take your own life,
twice with the same medication
that was supposed to end your strife.

You were taken away and we don't 
even know where you are right now,
but everyone is just hoping
that you can comeback somehow.

What ever happened to you,
that caring person you once were,
who could always make me laugh
oh, how I do remember her.

You took care of me when
I needed someone to be there,
so many good memories flash back
of the fun times we would share.

We are all still wondering why
you are suffering in depression,
and how could you ever hurt us
with such unexpected aggression.

You left your teenage son
alone in a state of panic and fear,
now we can only wish and wait
for some kind of real cure.




I wrote this after my aunt tried to commit suicide last Sunday, June 15th. 
Thankfully, she was not successful. She has been struggling with depression
for about 10 years and this is the worst state that we've ever seen her in.
Our family and the doctors keep trying to help her, but nothing has worked yet.
So, we will have to wait and see where things go from here, as we still have no
word on her current condition.

We are not a religious family, but it might help if you could send out your 
positive thoughts, and maybe keep us in your prayers during this difficult
and confusing time. 


Details | Quatrain | |

Wrongful Imprisonment

Here I live in darkness
Dreadful fright and fear
Kept from all my fam'ly
And friends that once were near

Why am I imprisoned
What has been my wrong?
Why this dreadful sorrow
Instead of happy song?

Naught has been my trespass
Innocent am I
Robbed of all life's goodness
Condemned in jail to die


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Empty

I feel as though I've lost my way
my heads not in the game
unsure of where I go from here
or who and what's to blame

It settled on me like a weight
I feel a little smothered
not sure how I now escape
or if I'm even bothered

Maybe this is just a cloud
that in front the sun has past
that's left me standing in the dark
a night that seems to last

It's left me feeling empty
as though I've all but died
I fear there's nothing left to feel
that I've shriveled up inside

Maybe if I could change the past.....
but I can't rewind the clock
a soul without a heartbeat
is like a tick without a tock



June 2nd 2011


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Memories Beyond The Door

Can it be? After all this time?
In my dream I float through a home.
Here, where I left my soul without a shrine in grime.
This corridor... my heart turns to stone.

My feet won't turn around
nor will they stop at my bid.
My mind conforms to chaos, yet my body is sound.
I seem to be in some monotonous state of allure so timid.

The darkness illuminates the sorrow
of the disintegration I threw away, in vain.
I reach the door I locked years ago
and my panic boils at what I can't face again.

Behind the door would be all I lost.
Everything I left behind not to stagnate.
Now a haunting voice sings to melt the frost
of the decision I made in the countenance of fate.

To my horror I possess the key to the past.
The lock is rusted and welded, to  my relief.
Now I recognise the ghost's song, and joy is engulfed fast...
Memories erupt... I remember... I murdered her in grief...




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Decisions

Lord, I do not know what to do;
Please, lead me by Your side.
Decisions I'm facing are lost and through;
Please, lead me to do what's right.


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Old new year

Yes it fits
That one fits too thank 
you
Each year I play similar 
lines
My brain must have lots 
of records

Merry christmas
Happy new year to you 
too
Each I say about similar 
times
My lips can't take 
anymore rewinds

Those are pit stains
Those are patches too
Each one I'm given has 
got similar flaws
Nomore can I stand these 
so 
called gifts

Thats Rebeccas dress
Thats Tonis too
With the old each new 
year begins
One day I'll say that dress 
is so last year too

2013


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The Echo of a Soul

The Echo of a Soul 
By Andrew Weeden 

In the windswept hills of vibrant green, 
Here I sit at your lonely grave. 
The bright flower that made my heart beam, 
Is the wilted flower I could not save.  

From the beginning I did not know, 
I was oblivious from the start; 
Cancer’s blade cut away your happy glow 
And would thrust to pierce my very heart.  
 
Consumed in the darkness of raging anger, 
Ten years I stand alone in the rain. 
With death no longer a distant stranger; 
My only companion in the storm of pain.  

Now it seems no one remembers, 
But you did not cease to be. 
Your spirit still burns in glowing embers 
And lives inside the fire in me.  

The storm is passing; I finally see its end. 
Happiness smiles again and shakes me to my core.  
I realize every time I lift my pen 
My Grandma speaks once more! 

Reflections of your love 
Weave tapestries in time. 
As a singing mourning dove, 
Your words whisper in my mind. 

So though you had to go, 
You remain in your begotten; 
As an echo of a soul, 
Gone but not forgotten. 


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Winning Eludes the Black Widow

I joyfully married the love of my life Sweet John died when I was only twenty-four But I guess God wanted to add some more strife When my fiancé drowned; I could take no more Like a black widow I spin a deadly web And those who approach me had better watch out Even friends have died: Chris, Jeanette and Caleb Stay far away; I fear what will come about Loneliness is a sad game I cannot win I live with memories of what might have been And heavy depression is building within Trapped in the past, I ask God, “What was my sin?”
*Entry for Joe Flach’s “I Just Can’t Win” contest


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The Lover

It was a sultry summer day,
The air lay thick and still.
The leaves hung flaccid on the trees,
As if slumbering in a deep sleep.

No birds were to be heard
For they were hiding from the heat.
The awful quiet was deafening,
And the utter stillness unrelieved.

She pondered about her life 
As she stood silent in the field.
Oh, there is nothing new, she thought,
There is nothing but an interminable ennui.

Immense clouds hung still above her
Like enchanted continents in the sky.
Yet she missed each single one of them, 
Her eyes might’ve well been shut.

There was just emptiness, she thought,
And a tedious town, and a hollow life. 
Her mind was made up about that place,
She was right, she thought, and she would never budge.

She hardly noticed it at first,
For she was pondering her woes and fears.
It first tickled her earlobe,
Then it softly blew into her ear.

Likely a vexing fly, she thought,
As she swayed her hand next to her head.
But then it fondly stroke her neck, 
And slowly crept beneath her dress.

It tenderly caressed her legs
With the subtle touch of a satin sheet.
She scarcely felt it, and then dismissed it, 
And returned to tallying her hardships.

But it had come for her, from so far away, 
To be so readily refused.
It had rushed across valleys, ascended great mountains,
As only a fervent lover would.

Rejected yet not dismayed,
It refused to be dismissed. 
You are my great love, it breathed, and I am yours,
And enwrapped her whole body with bliss.

Seized from her cares, and in extreme delight
She swung her arms open wide.
And as she did, the aged world, 
Now a little new, appeared before her eyes.

But the merciful breeze had moved on.
It continued on its broad track.
The lover, foreteller of change,
And defeater of heat and murk.


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Lurking Shadows

I sense there's something lurking
Out the corner of my eye
But when I turn to take a look
Away it seems to fly

Maybe I am haunted
By a dream that's all but vanished
Perhaps it's by some buried thought
That refuses to stay banished

Maybe it's a memory
I thought I'd slain at best
Escaping from it's prison bonds
It must be laid to rest

I feel that something's surfaced
Like a ghost it must be chased
Can't keep fearing shadows
My demons must be faced


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Disillusioned

Disillusioned by the words of hate, 
Disatisfied with present fate, 
Hope crouches in the corner there, 
Muttering rebellion at despair.

Before the heart is torn to shreds, 
Between the words alive and dead, 
It must be bruised and brought to shame, 
And eagerly accept the blame.

Life it seems is forcing me, 
To choose between breath and liberty, 
My transient soul would have me trade, 
True love for oaths that I have made.

It beacons me to enter in, 
And forms a soul for mine akin, 
And bleeds and sheds it's tears as bait, 
Treasonous wretch, it lies in wait.

The door has closed, distrust returns, 
The heart that kills, is that which spurns- 
the tender beats of a trusting heart, 
And builds of words a wall to part.

I make an adder's nest my home, 
And dream that I am not alone. 
I pray that time would not stand still, 
But into future pain would spill.

Grant me leave from this life's scars, 
The treachery that wounds and mars, 
God if indeed Your love is true, 
Call me swiftly home to You.

YLE 


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But I Am

Cold as stone
Still as night
All alone
Not in sight

Buried deep 
Not one thought
Not a peep
Left to rot

Here I lie
Useless me
Why not die
But I am you see


December 2009


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Voices

Can't fight this feeling
not even sure it's there
It whispers in the dark to me
a little taunting dare.

It even haunts my dreams at night
so I don't want to sleep
Like echoes in the silence
from the shadows of the deep.

This quiet voice inside of me
that i'm not sure is real
Is there to take my peace away
my mind to try and steal.

Maybe it's insanity
the things I think I hear
But panic starts to mount inside
as my ghosts I start to fear.


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Tuesday, January 12 2010

Be happy for you have not witnessed it
The time where Haiti shook and fell
On this paper I transmit
This event worthy to tell

It started like any other day
Everything was calm and nice
Maybe it was nature’s way to repay
Us for our vice

In a split second it begun
Everything was going up and down
No matter what, you couldn’t outrun
This destructive force shaking the town

After a while it ended
The place was filled with dead silence
I was with my siblings that I defended
Saving them from this death sentence

I saw a man running with blood
All over his face, and lost his arm
The rest of his body covered with mud
With an organ sticking out of his underarm

During this catastrophe
I lost a lot of friends, and family members
I would like to destroy that part of my history
But everywhere I go that feeling ember’s



I was unlucky to see the remains
Of what was left in this desert
I had to close my eyes for it pains
Me to see my people trapped under the dirt

Just the thought of writing about it
Makes a bed of tears in my eyes
On that day I was whit
My friend as he lays and dies

For what happened to Haiti
Pray it doesn’t happen to you
This pain will cause you to worry
When they say you’re safe is it true?


Details | Quatrain | |

What effects has covetousness or Greed in our souls

Covetousness or Greed begets 
In our souls unkindness
Dishonesty, deceit
And want of Charity or Love


Details | Quatrain | |

Walking Dead

Christmas and birthdays have now past.
The hustle and bustle is now done
The pain in my heart still does outlast,
Even though another year has begun.

Another year for me to grieve,
Another year for me to get through.
No longer the mom that is so naïve,
Yet my dreams I still pursue.

There are times I just feel
That I am going through the motions.
Nothing I do seems real,
Yet tears shed can fill all the oceans.

One day down and now there is tomorrow
For it is a day to really dread
As I am still so full of sorrow
And now I am the walking dead.

Yet, as dead as I am
I can still move on
Knowing I am no mild lamb,
Yet my children are still gone.

Maybe tomorrow something will change
Maybe, just maybe, I can smile more
And not seem ever so strange
Nor, hopefully, others I no longer bore.

I know I am a contradiction
Wanting more and grasping straws
Yet always speaking with conviction
Even though I am still so very raw.

Tomorrow is an entirely new day
Yesterday is now long gone
I shall continue to daily pray
While trying not to be withdrawn.

Yet, I am who I am
This agony I will try to shed
As tomorrow comes like a ram
I pray I am no longer the walking dead.


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More Agony

My friend I want you to know
 That happy for you I am
As before the coming snow
 You will have a baby in a pram.

Your shower today was nice
 I thought I could handle it.
But my heart is not ice
 For jeaousy I feel this I admit.

I feel like a loon
 My babies gone
No lullabies to croon
 No being woke at dawn.

I thought I could handle this
 Be here for my dear friend
But there is gaping abyss
 And I do not want to offend.

This your day to shine
 And do well to not frown
And to not even let out a whine
 Though in sorrow I drown.

I leave the shower
 My wounds to lick.
In my own space cower
 Pain in my heart does stick.

I am now alone 
 I lay here and cry.
In agony I moan
 And in misery I sigh.

I really am a lousy friend.
 For how can I feel sad?
How can I make amends
 and tell you why I am bad?

No more baby showers for me
 I cannot do this
To much pain for this to be
 For me there is no bliss.

My arms do so ache
 For the babies that are mine.
How much more pain can I take?
 How much longer will I pine?

Can anyone understand
 What I truly am?
A mother in no man's land
 Whose tears have broke the dam.

A mother who misses 
 Her children each day.
I miss thier kisses,
 Their bedlam and fun way.

Why can I not heal?
 Why must agony sear
And my fate and theirs seal
 For this I do fear.

I thought I was doing good
 But as you can see
This pain gets me where I stood
 And still gets the best of me.


Details | Quatrain | |

The Truth

I wove a web of lies,
It came back for me.
Trapped me in its net,
Ripped me from my disguise.

I planted a picture of a smile,
It haunted me at night.
Showed me how forced it was,
Wiped off my beam of beguile.

I hid my pain in a jar,
But I got locked inside instead.
I panicked---- There was no escape,
But to let it out in a secluded bar.

I packed up all my secrets,
It flooded my mind,
Conscience bugging me,
Relief in cigarettes.

So I ignored the cruel world,
Hiding in my words.
This arrangement has worked for years,
Life's been just fine this way.


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I Guess You'll Never Know

It always starts out so lovely,
Talking all the time - 
“Can’t wait to see you,
I’m so glad you’re mine.”

But time fades the colors,
And makes the petals fall.
What once was so exciting - 
Now seems a little dull.

And I know you’ve had your drama
From people in the past.
They didn’t see what they had in you -
Well, I could’ve fixed that.

I wouldn’t hurt you like she did,
I wouldn’t push you around.
I wouldn’t take you for granted,
I guess you’ll never know now.

I just want you to know this:
My intentions were pure.
And if I’d let myself love you -
It would’ve been for who you were.

I’m learning every fairy tale 
Won’t have a happy end.
‘Cause now I’m sitting here crying,
Missing my friend.

And now we’re looking at a goodbye
Because you just cant seem to see -
Just what you could’ve had
If you’d just picked me.

I wouldn’t hurt you like she did,
I wouldn’t push you around.
I wouldn’t take you for granted,
I guess you’ll never know now.


Details | Quatrain | |

Sandy Hook

Today, it just doesn't seem fair
That we are still able to breathe.
They have given us their air-
Our duty to lead the life they leave.


Details | Quatrain | |

In the span of a moment

In the span of a moment
A word of caution
Destiny alters
Those fragile components

In a moment a seed 
Comes forth to fruition
Or it dies with no one to grieve
No pause nor slight intermission

In the span of a moment 
Fate awakens 
Mysteries that seemed unimportant
Ones that had rested perfectly dormant

In the grand scheme of life
Those moments seem trivial
A roll of the dice 
But they are really indivisible 

For the human condition 
Is fragile at best
On guard to vague contradiction
In the constant it heeds it's rest

In a moment you can catch
The gleam of an eye
A flash of anger subdued
Or a clarity replaced by confused

The tiniest speck of time
To a life interrupted
Forever can find
A heart too corrupted

To trust in another
Or even ones self
Much more when those moments
Cluster and swell

In an instant your eyes
Can behold perfection
In the passing of time
Reveals a cruel deception

Moment by moment
We fall or we stand
Trying to control every component
Its like holding sand castles with only your hands

Yesterday everything seemed perfectly right
Today my love, he went away
Like ocean waves when tides crest high
The mornings new landscape gives way

I cry with every forsaken moment
The moments by my side he's not here
I've already endured the many moments
All those that turned into years

At times I want to go back
To what was before I met him
The level of empty contained in the past
Was fuller than his presence rescinded 

There is no exaggeration 
That without him I cannot breathe
In this lies the danger
When he became the fabric of me

My true love I gave only
to one other this way
He held it long after he passed away
In truth it paled if portrayed

In moments such as these
I want to scream
No matter to whom be displeased
Cross valley and mountain it's rivers and streams

How long my darling
how many more moments
For something so right
To feel so wrong so alone

For what is lonelier 
Than a moment alone
A timepiece which knows no hour
In the span of a moment unknown

Me












 


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Falling and Cut

Falling and cut, the ground far 
The music box plays, winds blow
Her words lie, untruths rein being
Still dark and cold, the river flows

Yet falling on, the silence holds
The dancers spin, a dance in vain 
And it goes on, this life we’ve won
The sad song sings over and over she falls like rain

Where is the end? The black crash burns
Reality cries, and silence calls for collision 
Screaming mute and the fall still clear
To hit the bottom, a timeless decision?


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Blood Red Rose


My heart is like a blood red rose
I let its petals cup my pain
Its thorns sharp and unexpected
My tears mix with the falling rain

The dragon still breathes with fire
After all this time I feel the burn
I gave my love a blood red rose
And now here I'm dying in return


Details | Quatrain | |

White Lies

The lazy look upon her eyes,
Revealed the essence of little white lies;
Giving a grin and swimming in sin,
She cannot hide what's deep inside.

Silently sealed beneath the surface,
Lies held hostage with no purpose;
The price of deception won't cost any less,
Sadly she suffers stressed and depressed. 

Tormented by her inner demons,
For tales she told with no clear reason;
Stuck standing in a pitiful place,
With nowhere to go, she's lost the race.

The lies unfold when she did not care,
To bear the burden of her secret affair;
Filled with deep anguish, from her loss of love,
She laid in the tub, in a bath of blood.


Details | Quatrain | |

Shades of Deja vu






The same old questions lie in front of me,
And knowing already there’s no reply,
Just like unanswered phones that always ring,
And living just keeps on its walking by.

Unsaid, the words then hover in thin air,
An empty promise attracting more dust,
Untaken chances, a meaningless dream
All left behind to fade in silent rust.

The dreams that offered a different hope,
And slowly I believed they could be true,
As knowledge shown within a golden light,
The doors opened in shades of deja vu.

I looked to the stars for beauty’s refrain,
And watched as more demons stole it away,
I heard their laughter push blades in my back,
For daring to think life was mine to play.





Form: Sicilian Quatrains


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Rain Day

grey sky day no chance of light
teardrop rain beats down 
thoughts now finally taking flight
smile that hides the frown.
 
melancholy dreary day
surrenders soon to dark
desperation here to stay  
leaves such a painful mark.


Details | Quatrain | |

The Darkness at Noon



Inconsolable soul when silently cries,
Every moment it burns bit by bit,
No tears could be seen in the eyes,
Encaged in body strives to quit !

Whipped by memories of consistent sorrow,
Time as if has decided to trick,
Joys of life could never borrow,
Can worst of times forever stick ?

Someone rescue me out of the deep ditch,
Longing to have my share of sunshine,
I ought to return to my home pitch,
Strong desire to thrive and rise alpine !

Heyday of life, still darkness at noon,
Hoping against hope for one glimpse,
Wanting to live a night of full moon,
Will I be shimmering after an eclipse ?





Written on 6/5/14
Sponsor- Dr. Ram Mehta
Contest- darkness at noon

Now for contest- not just any old quatrain
Sponsor- Kelly Deschler



Details | Quatrain | |

ONCE I FELL A VICTIM

Once i fell a victim to the other side of love
The other side of love i had never known
The other side of pang,anxiety and sorrow
The other side that gave no hope for tomorrow
The other side of love born by lies
The other side known best by the wise

At night when all grandchildren of Adam were asleep
It was then my time to lay in bed and weep
My eyes were like a pond filled with ever flowing tears
Memories of yesterday were now today's fears
My brains and minds were both at war with peace
Then i realized life was not always full of ease

As to the agony the innocent me went through
It was only the stars in the skies that could bear me witness
From distance i could hear the voice of misery calling my name
Love is always not that a fair game
For once thoughts of suicide visited me in the mind
The other side of love to me has been so unkind

I kept asking myself why me?
Was love my greatest enemy?
Maybe it was not meant for me
So i am patiently waiting for the hands of nature
To grant me that one creature
Whom together we can have a brighter future


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Psychosis


She sits by herself in the dayroom
absent-mindedly taking her meds,
her head is a blank, she knows nothing,
as she's braceleted, brought to her bed.

Sedation has settled her nightmares
and delivered her safe from her fears,
but who are these strangers with clipboards,
where'd she come from, and why is she here?

She's showing no signs of aggression,
as a matter of fact she's serene,
no tantrums, no throwing or spitting,
picture-perfect, a story-book queen.

By day she's the doctors' conundrum,
every measure is tried for a clue,
but the secret is buried inside her,
closed for business, not out for review.

As night falls she's back in her bedroom,
left alone in confusion and tears,
frightened, with nothing to contemplate
but the screaming that no one else hears.


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I Stand Here

I stand here and watch the changing of seasons,
a summer of winters, an autumn of springs,
I stand here in thought, not knowing the reasons,
to the meaning of life, how the caged bird still sings.
 
I stand here and watch as the years pass me by,
regrets of my past, what my life might have been,
I stand here and muse over one butterfly,
freed from the prison it had put itself in.

I stand here and watch as the dark turns to day,
the first glimpse of sunrise, a shimmer of light,
I stand here and wonder where clouds go to play
would they take me with them when day turns to night?

I stand here on guard while my inner self dreams,
of a world free of hurting, a life blank of stain,
I stand here and listen while my inner self screams,
with fear in his eyes and a soul filled with pain.
 
I stand here alone, memories by my side,
a flood of emotions, bittersweet in my mind,
I stand here unknown with the tears I have cried,
searching for answers in a world where I'm blind.


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Being free and loving it

Here goes a response to a depressed girlfriend To the one who saw in a man, something more than a friend To the one who sunk into an illusory agony Believing herself to be, only with him, in complete harmony Dear girl, know that your happiness lies not in a man Happiness begins in yourself You must be the one to hold out your hand And learn to give it to yourself Dear girl, men are ruled by their drives Once they are done, they shall pretend to be no more alive Guided by their instincts They shall use you and ruin you, till you become extinct! Dear girl, his sister asked him to talk to you And tell you that he no more wants to hear of you Tell me, do you believe that? Can you be that dumb Can you be, in love, so blind? Dear girl, is he the reason for your happiness? Tell me, is he the only man alive in this world Someday, you shall meet the one who shall make of you a princess Even a queen, for only you he shall adore! Dear girl, open your eyes, and see this world How beautiful it is, breathe in fresh air Be grateful for what you have so far Remember, emotional needs are not always met as fair So learn to smile And even fly once in a while Cherish your children And pretend to be the only rose in the garden!


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Magnets

Free falling,
your ex is calling
You’re just stalling,
watch life falling.

Life is magnetic,
love turns kinetic
Her chest is synthetic,
her body magnetic.

Drugs help you smile
life’s not really worthwhile
Breathing’s out of style
on your face is death’s smile.


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They Know Not What They Are

And if they know not what they do
The lonely weary souls
Who share the common goal
Imbibe a sense of disbelief

They wander aimless through and through
Panic stricken sullen
Risen and the fallen
Reality obscured by grief

To make amends from me to you
My proposition is
Give solace and forgive
What timeless would consider brief

End excursion black and blue
In the deepest ocean
Swim through tears forgotten
The joy we'll feel from such relief


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Living Without

Plod into the dreary distance.
Look straight ahead and do not stray.
Nothing is past this existence.
Everything is black, white, and grey.

Calculate the measure of life.
Scales weigh product versus payment.
There’s no beauty and there’s no strife.
Death is flight from endless Present.


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You Don't Want to Love Me

You don’t want to love me,
You’re scared of giving in.
Just don’t want to take the leap -
Because of where you’ve been.

You don’t want to love me -
Because it’s far too real.
Because you know how hard you’d fall,
If you let yourself feel.

You don’t want to love me,
You’re scared you’re not enough.
You think we would fall apart
When times in life got tough.

You don’t want to love me,
I’m too close of a friend.
I’m different than the others -
Territory where you’ve never been.

In all your reasons not to,
In pushing me away,
In denying how you feel -
I think you’ve loved me every day.


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Fritz

I had him since birth
He was mine for eight or nine years
Until that fateful night 
Then He was gone

He was jet black
I called him "Dark Lightning"
He ran so fast
Then He was gone

He was my life
I treasured ev'ry day
That I was with him
Then He was gone

He was protecting my dad
From all those bad men
They put a gun to his head
Then He was gone

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I miss Fritz so much....... my baby boy....my puppy....


Details | Quatrain | |

(PART 2 of 2) Where the Sky is Black, And the Cold Wind Blows...

A new chance has blossomed
Til the police pull up
She ain't feelin' too awesome
And her mind is made up

Chance to confess
To drop to her knees
But she's under all this stress
And she runs with the breeze

With a click and a blast
She screams her last breath
Chance for redemption at last
But she still chose death

Not a single angel sings
As she walks up to the gate
She wonders if she'll get wings
Or if damnation is her fate

Sex, Drugs, and Crime have one goal
And messing with that could cost you your soul

All the mourners stand back 
As she's buried with a rose
Where the sky is black
And the cold wind blows...

So if life hands you trouble
You have to think twice
Or you could die bleeding in the rubbel
Payin' your high price

You could have a knife pulled on you
Or a bullet in the head
But we all know one thing is true
You could end up dead

You better remember this girl
All the s*** she went through
Don't let your life unfurl
Or your soul could be due

Life comes with pain
And life comes with tears
But don't hop on that train
To run away from your fears

Remember this crazy train
Is on a rickety track
And once you enter the wrong lane
There ain't no turnin' back

I know this 'cause I've walked on the path
I held this girls hand in the dreams I once had
Now I stand back looking at the aftermath
I'm lucky I lived, but it's hard to say I didn't like doin' the bad

Sex, Drugs, and Crime have one goal
And messing with that could cost you your soul

One of these days you might need to think back
To this little girl's last night of woe
Where the sky is black
And the cold wind blows...


Details | Quatrain | |

Sleep Little Angel

Within your smile,
Fates hid ends eyes cannot see.
The false set of your lips,
The angel mourning 'till asleep.

Weep no more.
Angel, just dream.
Lie your head down,
Listen to the clear blue stream.

Dont pry at your wounds.
Angel ,you may permenantly scar.
Always keep to heart,
I shall never be far.

Sleep little angel.
Sweet dreams as well.
Close your tired eyes,
Untill morning, Farewell.


Details | Quatrain | |

Invisible

Walking along in a crowd
Everyone with a place to go
No one notices my tears
Alone, they don't want to know

With always a cheerful hello
And a smile for all to see
Yet a  heart as heavy as lead
You see.. its really not me

I hold out my hand to you
You take it without thought
I long to tell you my story
Whether you care or not

Why is this life so lonely?
Is there no place for me?
Alone on an island of grief
Lost in the cerulean sea 


Blink!


Details | Quatrain | |

The night keeps falling into the stars... (Feeling down)

The night keeps falling into the stars
And the dampness drags on the grass
Somewhere there is music and laughter
False and foreign, they falter

I wish to look nowhere
Casting my eyes adrift
To throw out all worldly cares,
With no memories to sift

Ask me to lay my life to waste
To do nothing in haste
Send away all the familiar faces.
Go back two or three paces

Until I can believe again
Let my soul just be a stain
Or another sad song's refrain.
Let me be alone in the rain

When the heaviness in my heart
Tips the scale in too much pain
I'll brave myself to pull out the dart,
And watch the month's moon wane.


Details | Quatrain | |

Underneath The Smile

His smile lights up the room
He has more friends than you or me
His laughter is contagious
He is what every man wants to be

The ladies swoon in his presence
The girls all want a date
The women scratch and claw to get him
They think he'd be the perfect mate

The children all adore him
The kids all think he's great
The boys are all coached by him
The girls wish they were old enough to date

They don't see the real man
The one who is inside
The one who is all alone
The one who wants to hide

He puts on a happy face
He goes about his day
He is scared and lonely
He wishes it wasn't this way


Details | Quatrain | |

Story of My Life

A tear fell today,
The first one in a while.
I had made a promise
To only think of us a smile.

I'd say I'm sorry,
And I won't do it again,
But I'm sure I'd be lying,
Because when I think I can't, I can.

I can still cry a little
And miss our happiness,
Especially on days or in moments
That are even close to this.

Every night I dream
Of when we'll be happy together
And every day I wake
To the reality that you want her.

You tell me everyday it's temporary.
You swear that it's all for the best,
But it hurts because I swear you're lying.
I think you are just like the rest.

I thought you were better than that.
Sometimes, I think I still do,
But then a day like today comes up.
Story of my life. It's nothing new.

You'd think I'd be used to it.
I'd adjust to ruining my own happiness,
But I honestly don't think I could ever.
I don't want to get used to this.


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Air Breathed In, Thick With Sorrow

Air breathed in, thick with sorrow,
The night too dense with pain,
This sunrise barely compensates,
For battles fought in vain.
 
Care has taken up its place,
Behind her weary brow,
Drowning out the happy sound,
Of friendly laughter now.
 
The pain that racks her weary form,
Mere words could ill express,
The toll it takes upon her heart,
Her lips must now confess.
 
Perhaps the bruises left by hate,
Should not have been revealed,
To those who turn their heads away;
From the elect concealed.
 
She dares not hope this pain will pass,
The scars, and nightmares fade,
Will time succeed in killing off,
What greed and anger made? 

And when it's all been said and done
The final word it's tongue shall leave,
Will that word be filled with hate,
Or will it love conceive?

 
YLE 


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The Unfinished Chapter

The beginning was a question,
Dealing the the heart's true want.
The prologue filled with innocence,
And lovely sober thoughts.

Then stories took an awry twist,
And things came complicated.
The feelings that were filled with love,
They soon became sedated.

Now drunken, hopeless lonliness,
She walks the path alone.
You chose another over her,
And cast her from her home.

With founding hate the mourners cry,
And wear their veils of black.
The girl you cast into the Earth,
Has had her "heart attack."

With seizing pain the letters scream,
Up at you from the grave.
To know that this is all your fault,
It sets your soul ablaze.

But not for long, you'll see her soon,
In hell or heaven; both,
Are good as any other choice,
So you won't have to be alone.

With hate and tears and love and fears,
You bid the world good-bye.
Take one last breath and then you jump,
A soulless suicide.

The epilogue will bear your name,
Forever, etched in stone.
You gave your life to end her strife,
And so she wouldn't be alone.


Details | Quatrain | |

Daily Despair

another day seeps down the drain,
I cannot find the leak.
what am I if not insane?
my thoughts too dark to speak.

the daily flogging of my spirit
is more than most could bear.
my fate reveals that I should fear it,
yet it's jaws cannot ensnare

my mind and will are still my own,
despite the efforts of big brother.
the path less traveled I'll take alone
only to find there are always others

who dare traverse the same dark trail
and challenge the righteous rank
whose morality is a living hell
for those who choose to think.


Details | Quatrain | |

Loving Memory

Our death on earth is our birth to the next
The process getting to the next can be difficult 
Troubled be not
Helping hand of our Lord Eternal God, Father Christ surrounds us

03042013


Details | Quatrain | |

(PART 1 of 2) Where the Sky is Black, And the Cold Wind Blows...

This is 'bout a girl from just a while back
It's a grusome, sad story, I know
It begins where the sky is black
And the cold wind blows...

She's got looks to kill
And an attitude to match
She's lookin' for a thrill
Lookin' for a soul to snatch

A mind like a knife
She's sharp and she'll cut you
She can change your life
Nobody thinks like she do

Not one can out run her
She's quick as a whip
No magician could trick her
She'll just make your mind trip

Got some patched up jeans
And shorn off hair
She can act real mean
'Cause she just don't care

Got a heart of gold, she did all she could 
Had lots of romance on the brain
She acts much older than she should
Because this girl knows real pain

Now she might look bad
She might look rough
But you forget to look beyond the mad
And see that she was decent enough

She's been through a lot
Thinks she's seen too much
So she gets to smokin' pot
And she's felt God's touch

She runs further from the law
And closer to the light
Harder drugs hide in her bra
She can't hold up this fight

Starts trippin' too hard
While she's runnin' from the cops
Her brain is being scarred
And her heart begins to stop

Her eyes are rolling back
And her world begins to spin
She's run right off the track
Her life is caving in

She sees the angels cry
As she walks up to the gate
She asks her Father, "Why?"
He tells her she must wait

Sex, Drugs, and Crime have one goal
And messing with that could cost you your soul

She plummets on back
To her body below
Where the sky is black
And the cold wind blows...



***PLEASE READ PART 2***


Details | Quatrain | |

Good Morning

As the morning sun illuminates my face, 
And the birds sing joyous songs of the new day, 
I turn over and slowly open my eyes, 
Staring at the empty spot where you used to lay. 

Renewed is the pain that sleep had pushed aside, 
Renewed is the longing of a broken heart, 
Renewed are the sad memories of the day, 
When you packed up and left me, for a brand new start. 

As the warm water cascades down my body, 
And washes away the dried up tears of a lonely night, 
I close my eyes and dream of cleansing my soul, 
Of selfish misery now basking in the limelight. 

My reflection serves as a portrait of despair, 
A painful reminder of the happiness that was once there. 
Each piece of clothing a sadder memory than the last, 
They are weighed down by more regret than I can bare. 

Before I open the door I straighten my back, 
Raise my chin and paint a smile on my face. 
In one hand I clutch my crying soul, 
And shove it in my heart's padlocked case. 
I turn the knob and look out in the distance, 
To a blissful, sublime, nonexistent place.


Details | Quatrain | |

Life's Story

The rain falls fiercly,
As I look up into the skies,
Only to see the sun,
And white clouds floating by.

I walk into the woods,
Feeling sharp thorns beneath my feet,
I stare down to the earth,
To see grasses, soft and sweet.

At last I see a rose,
Lying dried up on the ground,
I gently touch it's petals,
And my life is newly found.

All along ive been yelling,
At the wind for being cold,
And shouting at the rain,
When life's story has been told.

I ignored the graceful beauty,
As i blocked out meaningful sights,
For when it's gone I will regreat,
Shunning the flawless story of life.


Details | Quatrain | |

What effect has envy on soul

Envy begets in the soul a want of charity for our neighbor
Produces a spirit of detraction
Backbiting and
Slander

11272011


Details | Quatrain | |

On The Edge


Misbegotten pair,
two-faced accusation,
the seduction of sweet solace
or the inarticulation of despair.

Either uneasy 'neath the spell of peerless rapture,
false respite from the ravages of fear,
or defenseless and imperilled 
by a sadness that is too extreme to bear.


*A statement about bipolar disorder...


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Love Forlorn

The sea and mist
Have lightly kissed
The shore again
And all points when

I take my bow
To heed the stern
The sea again
By ocean yearn

And rain my face
In transient place
To sea again
An algae lace

I turn to see
The rain is gone
Forever now
My love forlorn

She tells me not
Like storm before
When we began
Or when it tore

Surprise to me
Upon its end
Do I refresh
Or never mend


Details | Quatrain | |

My Worst Goodbye

We watched the sunset one day
On the porch, filled with bliss.
Driven by love, I leaned in,
And we shared a kiss.

I looked and stared
Into her deep brown eyes,
And we promised not to tell
Each other any lies.

She started to cry and asked
How long I will love her.
I said I always have,
And that I would love her forever.

Her tears continued falling
No matter what I did try.
She looked into my eyes
And told me goodbye.

I asked her what she meant.
She replied she had to move;
She said she would love me forever
As long as I'm here to love.

We spent our last night
In each other's arms
On a hilltop under the stars
Until the roosters raised their alarms.

She pulled me close,
And I held her tight.
Our last walk home was hard,
Because Despair's full strength we had to fight.

When we arrived
At our parting place,
I took her hand in mine, and wiped
The fresh tears from her face.

She said she love me,
And, without a hint of bliss,
I said I loved her too,
And we shared our final kiss.


Details | Quatrain | |

This Blind Man Sees

I remembered the day I joined
Paradise it appeared to me
It can still be this way
But only if others can see

I am playing the blind man
I cannot touch, nor I see
As long as everyone is
Who they make out to be

I have trawled many a write
But it's the comments this blind man sees
For out there resides
Someone so different to thee

Many people talk to themselves
Some even answer back
But this blind man is just to clever
For out there, there's one who lacks








http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-14.php


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New Man

He once wore the mask of the reskin tride,
An orphan set to drale.
Where once was shame, and farn, and guilt,
Now is but a tale.

A man too sold on a life unlived,
In search of fairer fay.
For by the stone, and warf, and will,
He arrives anew to-day.



©2011, R. Erin Lenth


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the absence of presence

Four wheel room, ulter silence
My mind looking,for repentance 
These thoughts, filled with hidrance
Hence over shadowed by nonsense 

I have lost dreams in abundance
And wonder about my existence
And all I ask is a chance
To stop these dreams of penance

I dream, a dead bird at first glance
And i watch it, fall in a religious trance
And started with death a wierd type of romance
Or was it a game? A game of chance

These two fought with remarkable endurance
And the birds soul, started to fade a way in distance
And the body stayed there, as it decays in essence
And that's when it happened, the absence of presence


Details | Quatrain | |

Angel Eyes

Torn and broken 
Confused, forgot 
Missed and wanted 
Hopeless, distraught 

With all the madness, 
All the lies. 
Through all the sadness ,
Of no good byes .

She stands strong, 
Never breaking down. 
Proving she's growing, 
but afraid to drown. 

She holds the answers 
To all the tears.
All the questions 
Through all the years. 

She says the words 
To just be heard 
Nothing matters 
It's all absurd 

She bears feelings 
Emotions so deep 
The feelings are hidden 
To forever keep 

When the angel falls short 
She gives her good byes 
Not bearing the words 
But they fall from her eyes


Details | Quatrain | |

Hung

Our hearts can't touch, our minds deflect
Absurd conclusions, I'll regret
Breaking up so many times
Your reasons do not rhyme

I think I better off this way
I love you, that's what i will lay
Rupturing my soul, hope that I can
Last breath. . Goodbye. . 'til we meet again



061314 (13:50)


An entry to "Breaking Up With You" contest
Sponsored by: Poet Destroyer
6th Place


Details | Quatrain | |

Spin the bottle

Stop quoting Nietzche, just try to let it be. 
Quiet your bleeding heart, and come running to me. 
Spin the bottle, and dive on in.
Step on up, take one on the chin. 

Who cares, if we wake up late? 
Come, my dear, take the bait. 
Pop the top, and tip it back, 
Ill give you everything that you lack.

Got a bad past? Well that’s ok, 
I’ll keep all of your demons at bay. 
A bitter taste, for a sweet release. 
From everything, with which you can’t seem to make peace.

Dixie cups, and the finest crystal. 
All vessels, for the sirens call.
So follow your ears, join the race
For the sweet, sweet liquid release.


Details | Quatrain | |

Better Now

I'm not going anywhere
Though I've tried to leave
You acted like you didn't even care
See the proof beneath my sleeve

I'm not going anywhere
Dont worry about me
Though this life ain't fair
I'm fine now, don't you see?


Details | Quatrain | |

Impressions of Madness ( a bipolar life)

I turn away the light of truth, 
though bright it shines eternally; 
as I now search the dark of youth 
for life devoid of history. 

Born filled with primal fear inbred 
(a wingless mountain butterfly) 
who waited trapped by wretched dread, 
within mad vision graves, to die. 

A body bent by rhythmic birth 
sucked marrow out of bone and brine 
as wounds leaked blood back into earth 
for earth gives refuge to Divine. 

The fragile cuts were foul and spent 
but no stitch thrown seemed obvious; 
its fabric labored, torn and rent 
by images grown spurious. 

And this we carry to our graves 
in extant bliss of ignorance. 
No worry worth the time it saves 
before the black of permanence. 

A life once sewn with threads of smoke, 
(translucent trend in lunacy) 
is but illusion's buried yoke 
of veiled and failed transparency


Details | Quatrain | |

True Love is Just a Dream

In your words I hear a promise
To love and keep me safe
In your touch I feel forever
Memories and love to make

In the song you play for me
Loves melody is clear
I have no faith in love and men
The lies are what I fear

You lean in and kiss my lips
A taste of berries fine
But chains of fear bind me
So there I draw the line

This is the wall time has built
To protect me from thee
For all that I have ever known
Is true love is just a dream



*Inspired by Sami Al-khalili’s “The Cynical Heart” contest. 


Copyright © 2009 Lena “Lolita” Townsend


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Goodbye For A Season

Goodbye to my bestie,
My lover, Husband,
To someone I never wanted,
But without, I can't stand.

Farewell to my happy,
The kind without reason,
To my truly better half.
Hello to lonely season.

I wish it not to last long,
But the blink of an eye,
Before we say hello again,
And give us one last try.


Details | Quatrain | |

The Beast (Part 1)

The Beast

Buried deep within my sadness
I forever grow more weary
and always more reluctant
to face another day.
In this hateful world I live in,
within the shadows lurking,
hurtful words are always waiting
to take my happiness away.

If I drop my guard and smile,
let a peaceful feeling fill me
or let a song of happiness
gently graze my heart,
the Beast, forever hopeful
of a chance to wreck It's havoc,
stealthily descends upon me
to tear my soul apart.

My laughter is offensive
to this evil thing that stalks me
and the fury It unleashes
grows with any joy I feel.
I have begged It to release me
from It's cruel, relentless clawing
but my plea's just make it stronger
and It scoffs at my appeal.

It hates my with a passion
and It seeks me with a vengeance.
It crushes and It smothers me
yet never lets me die.
For without me It's existence
would surely fade and wither.
It needs my tears for sustenance.
Forever, I must cry.

In the many battles
I have fought throughout my lifetime
old wounds are reopened
so that they may never heal.
Then with a twisted pleasure,
as the wickedness that taunts me
feeds upon my growing misery,
It tells me It's not real.

I am forever drowning
in this rising sea of sorrow.
What have I done to earn this,
what crime did I commit?
Never will there be an answer
to these questions, cried in anguish,
just a growing realization
only death will conquer It.


Details | Quatrain | |

Painted on Smiles

As days go by,
I slowley fade,
Into the shadows,
Of the day.

My eyes grow dull,
My voice gone weak,
My steps get slower,
And hope, I forseek.

Nobody notices,
How my heart slowley tears.
I'm just another weed,
In this garden of despair.

So I walk around,
Shoulders heavy with denial,
As my life goes on,
With this painted on smile.


Details | Quatrain | |

free cee INDIGNANT INSOLENCE

                INDIGNANT INSOLENCE

One can live his life with dignity
But all too oft one cannot die with it
Death robs one of more than his breath
Like if you’re unable to wipe your ass when you take a sh*t

some deaths are humiliation personified
It is a reality one cannot outrun
Try as you might it eventually wins
When your final day is finally done

Death doth not delay on it’s quest
Or alter a course fate has foretold
‘tis a merciless mission it’s set upon
Until a body’s been laid out marble cold

There is no dignity in agony’s curse
Nor hardened heart and brittle bone
The only hope for dignity that exists is this……
That death be swift while one is alone
                   © 2012…PHREEPOETREE..~free cee!~












Details | Quatrain | |

Moving Forward

Focused on moving forward
No more self doubt
If insecurities block my path
I'll simply throw them out

Worrying is no longer my thing
I kicked the bad habit
I used to be shy so I would hide
In a hole like a rabbit

Negativity bombarded me
It led to my downfall
Stayed at the bar for hours
Until they made the last call

What's the use of such abuse
Why are people filled with hatred
I'm sure someday my heart will heal 
Long after the scars have faded


Details | Quatrain | |

FREE CEE death on dads day

                     DEATH ON DAD'S DAY

dear dad, i know you can't read this now
and i always wanted to apologize but never knew how
and today it still remains the same
because i alone accept all the blame

you gave me the means and ways to be wealthy and rich
and now, today, on father's day, life ain't noting but a *****
it bites, it stings and i can't say a word to ashes in an urn
but in the end i know precisely where my soul will burn

i put you through hell a thousand times or more
you bailed me out of jail and still let me through your front door
well now that door is no more and either are you
and there's nothing a recalcatrant son can do

i can't say i'm sorry to a ghost who haunts me to this day
and since six months ago i grieve every single day
all you wanted ever was a son you could be proud of
and instead you got a villain who abused the word love

so if you could only see my tears
as i gaze back over the years
i think you'd understand and believe
that my only repentance is to wail, cry and grieve
   I LOVED YOU DAD AND I'M SORRY I COULDN'T FILL YOUR SHOES
  (c) PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~


Details | Quatrain | |

Disorientation


She sits by herself in the dayroom
absent-mindedly taking her med,
her head is a blank, she knows nothing,
braceleted, brought to her bed.

Sedation has settled her nightmares
and delivered her safe from her fears,
but who are these strangers with clipboards,
where'd she come from, and why is she here?

She's showing no signs of aggression,
as a matter of fact she's serene,
no tantrums, no throwing or spitting,
picture-perfect, a story-book queen.

By day she's the doctors' conundrum,
every measure is tried for a clue,
but the secret is buried inside her,
closed for business, not open for view.

As night falls she's back in her bedroom,
left alone in confusion and tears,
frightened, with nothing to contemplate
but the blood, and the screams in her ears.


Details | Quatrain | |

Pain Of Death

Yet I still cry,  as I ponder
Why death took her I still wonder
Hoping to see her  flying  high
As I ponder ,yet I still cry.

This sudden  death,I hate to bear
Which put a stop to love we share
Making me confuse like  Macbeth
I hate to bear,this sudden death.

 This lovely star ,I so desire
Through which sickness and death conspire
Never thought she would journey far
I so desire ,this lovely star.

I feel the pain,just like you do
Yet you did not wait for your due
Your absence makes me go insane
Just like you do ,I feel the pain.         




*Swap Quatrain* 


Details | Quatrain | |

inside

there's a place where people can go
there's a place where they hide away
there's a place most everyone knows
there's a place where some people stay

a place where we all can hide and moan
that place where we're in ourselves alone
dark and quiet, where we're easily misled
that place where we're inside of our head

an unobserved place where attendants and nurses
attend to minds far distant or subversive
while down on their haunches - quietly rocking 
dreaming dreams, either reassuring or shocking

is it more comforting or more scary to know 
that everyone can be a part of being apart
living within ourselves just filled with woe
or sharing our souls to better take heart

its a tenuous thing to put ourselves out there
reveal the fears lurking within all of us
to be judged, by a society completely unaware
so hard to show our soul's open to trust

maybe that's what made him feel the way he felt
maybe she'd, after reflection see something else
maybe he could'a been saved from where he dwelt
maybe she'd 'a' been restored to mental health

we'll never know for sure and can only surmise
why others fall down into a hellish abyss
to be loathed or pitied by us haughtily wise
never dreaming that we too might be remiss

© Goode Guy 2012-07-24


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This Bright A Day

This bright a day
Cannot convince
The smallest bit
Or ever since

This bright a day
Survived the dark
The cold alike
And lived to spark

The story of
A time inside
In all of us
A place reside

And now that we
Have seen its grace
To wreck it all
By will erase

Destroy it too
Aversion who
And live in dark
Despairing you


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Never is Soon

Help!
Nobody comes.
Nobody cares.
Nobody hears,
My cries of despair.

Please!
Nobody looks.
Nobody talks.
Nobody feels,
So away i walk.

I walk into the shadows.
I drown into the night.
Never to be the same,
Invisable to the sight.

This heart once scared,
Now an open wound.
As the blood flowley falls,
the "never" is now soon.


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The Traveller

The sun beats down on a leather face, 
The burnt remnants of a trying past. 
Saddened eyes gazing towards nothing, 
The empty stare of a life harassed. 

A single pair of footsteps trailing, 
Disappearing into the distance. 
Weighted footprints from a heavy heart, 
The proof of lonely perseverance. 

Barely standing on two blood stained feet, 
Supporting old knees so rickety. 
A silhouette wavering in wind, 
The epitome of frailty. 

Essence escapes from every pore, 
A heavy musk, reeking of defeat. 
The remains of a figure once proud, 
Desire's fire finally obsolete. 

Well versed in the language of failure, 
Silent screams, shattered dreams so hollow. 
The crying sun eternally sets, 
Dark shadows stretch until tomorrow. 

A weary soul in search of haven, 
Quickly rejected by Heaven's Gate. 
Overcome with exhaustion, yet still, 
Reluctant to surrender to fate.


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Eyes Closed Shut

After thirteen years time embeds
The cutting knife in deepened said
Twisted in torque in my wreaked abyss
Eyes closed shut, could be my wish

Maybe I'll awaken in a different world
Where nobody hears, because nobodies heard
The bleak in me from cobalt to black
Eyes closed shut, there will be no lack

And upon the out, where I'll drift with time
Knowing I've decided to leave ones prime
No roaming in the gloaming, no more pain
Eyes closed shut, never to open again 








http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/dark-9.php


Details | Quatrain | |

Heartsick

Clutching my phone in my hands,
Hoping you’ll call or text.
But it’s been a month or so,
Since you grabbed your things and left.

Memory lane is colder at night,
As I lay in bed thinking of you.
My inbox has been empty,
And also yearning to hear from you.

I’ve never heard the clock,
Tick so loud before.
The echo still resounds in my heart,
From when you slammed the door.

When I take an account of my life,
You are the thing I miss the most.
And lately my life feels paused,
I feel like I’ve been sleeping with a ghost.

If you return to this loneliness,
You’ll bring back the color to my life.
The day seems to go by quickly,
But I hurt the most at night.


Details | Quatrain | |

The Culinary Asylum

I write this sitting in the kitchen sink
All my friends have left me behind.
I know not what I want or what I think
I have a dark and empty mind.

I fled to the outskirts of sanity
And I found I was not alone.
For I’m wont to be just a vanity
On the marbled desert we roam

How can one be sane in an insane world?
It’s much easier than you think.
Just remember that we can all be pearls
Our ever-changing world is pink.

So now I think this predicament is
Not as bizarre as it may seem.
And now I must wish you a good night miss.
Safe travels in this land of dreams.


Details | Quatrain | |

Her Secret's Hard to Keep

Her tears stain the pillow 
As she lays down to sleep
Dying from within
Her secret’s hard to keep

Violated by one trusted
Betrayed by those she loves
Left alone to suffer
Only wanting to be loved

His hands as cold as ice
Creeping in the night
Her innocence was stolen
She was too weak to fight

Scared to cry out
Believing she’d be shunned
Closing off her heart
Hiding from everyone

Trapped by her memory
Imprisoned by regret
She will take the blame
But what will he get?

His freedom is untouched
His life is unchanged
She can never tell
She feels so much shame

She’s an innocent child
He is a grown man
She wants to forget
She knows she never can

Her tears stain the pillow 
As she lays down to sleep
Dying from within
Her secret’s hard to keep


Details | Quatrain | |

From Within My Soul

I'm trawling the depth's this abyss from within my soul
Not knowing where to turn becoming so tired in fold
Creases appear ever-ending cutting like the sharpest of knife
Tears fall like sporadic spent leaves, knowing decay is rife

Never knowing where they're to fall, never knowing where they land
It's the wanting to be born again and to never knowing what's planned
To scent the outside from the inside and tasting the air of life
Shall be the wonder called Utopia, that delivers us called strife








http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-15.php


Details | Quatrain | |

Until life became a con

In a rotten world I reside,
Haters, with no friend inside,
Its final, I have to decide,
Between life, and a note of suicide.

Its my final departure,
A start of great adventure,
Life on earth, so unwell,
Gotta check out there in hell

To my friends, work is done,
To my haters, good is gone,
To everyone, speak a good tone,
For life is over, and people do expire.

Mum, your wails I won't hear,
Don't curse, remain my dear,
Don't sob. don't drop a tear,
I'll die, for you to live better,
To never have any more suffering to bear.

Dad, am not any taller, 
Sure enough, I robbed you of the dollar,
Don't see me a lost toddler,
Don't gossip of my life as a failure,
Am generous, saving you for the fun in future.

My heart sheds to say your name, 
I loved thrice, failed once,
Not worth mentioning, once for fame,
And once through whom to the world I came.

To siblings, life might be better,
Without me standing in your ways for longer,
An act of heroism, my love for you is bigger,
Carry on, if not, cheer me up in hell,
wherever,With deadly shots of spirytus luksusowa.

I have tried, many battles I won, 
I soldiered, until life became a con,
So tired, I need to be alone,
Stress free, something to my head, probably a gun.


Details | Quatrain | |

CLINICAL DEPRESSION

CLINICAL DEPRESSION Clinical Depression Is an insidious disease It puts many of you well people off And makes you all quite ill at ease Mostly you don't understand it And you don't want to know You bury your heads in the sand Your minds you don't want to grow You shun those with the condition You don't want to discuss it Do you think if you speak of it You might actually catch it? It's an invisible condition Therefore it musn't exist But what of those who suffer it? Beware: It's a condition not sexist It can strike any one of us With no discrimination We suffer in silence Please: show us some compassion! © ELR 2013


Details | Quatrain | |

How much are you

How much? A phrase so common
The worth a commodity should wear on.
But what else can give it that price tag
Than the present value it now has.

So unfortunate most girls don’t know how much they are
Displaying what ought to be covered
And giving it all on a platter
So men have no need to dig further.

Howling and moaning under leaves and branches
The lucky ones get the honor of a back seat.
Even most animals can’t get so low
How cheap they are, this goes to show.

Wished only you knew
How “your honeys” now see you.
You can no longer walk by tall as you used to
Now they have known all that it is about you.

Painted withered flowers blooming around
So breath-taking yet so sour
Fading the more they are used.
How much now are you?


Details | Quatrain | |

Sun Rescue

As the sun goes down
And darkness fills the air
My depression rises
It’s more than I can bear.
 
My life seems so fragile
I dread joining the dead
My eyes start their weeping
As I lie in my bed.
 
I struggle to be still
But my mind is consumed
With jealous forebodings
Each betrayal exhumed.
 
And the night drags on
The nightmares won’t cease
I wait for the morning
To bring me release.
 
The sky changes color
The black turns to grey
The stars start to fade
As I continue to pray.
 
The sun makes an entrance
Golden rays kiss my face
My frozen heart thaws
I’m in a better place.
 
I bask in the soft light
As my demons all flee
Inner joy bubbles up
The sun has rescued me!


Details | Quatrain | |

Independent with People

We are independent with people on earth
Our mortal angels are always there to assist us
But, we can never be independent in everything
God is our everything

12132011


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fairy tale

You visited my dreams today
I could hardly remember the details
But you were there and you haven't changed
Then I knew it was only a fairy tale


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What does the name Christ signifies

The name Christ signifies Messias
The Great Prophet
High Priest and
King of the New Law anointed as a man with the fullness of divine power


Details | Quatrain | |

Dreams And A Splintered Heart

Memories play in my mind
faded black and blue
remembering mistakes
that I cannot undo
picking up the splinters
of this damaged heart
tired of trying to mend
what always falls apart
sinking broken dreams
of my yesterday
I can't hold on to things
that want to fly away
I'm trying to let go
of what's come to an end
hoping that maybe someday
these wounds will truly mend

By Morgan Mise
Written December 6, 2012)


Details | Quatrain | |

Mirth through Death

Deep pain penetrates my soul
Life has gone out of control
Agony is playing a devilish role
To complete its cruel role

Problems inundate to frustrate
I love to become Mr. Late
Heaven has closed its gate
Devil has come to investigate

Heart  has lost  fully all its hope
I am to hang search for a rope
I am sure for me there is no scope
With life I find it difficult to cope

She simply ignored my love
Caring not is this God-above
I feel like ending my life now
Will anyone teach me how?

If I am completely eliminated
And at the earliest cremated
Surely peace can be created
This is dejectedly by me stated

Let thunder fall on my lousy head
Let bad words about me be said
I wait eagerly to fall shabbily dead
Let devils drink soon my bad blood

I must be by Angels terribly cursed
I must not be by any one nursed
Joy and me are forever divorced
All my songs are only sadly versed

As no one likes my presence
Hatred I can surely sense
If a pen to write my hand opens
Even my ideas refuse me defense

O- God- I beg you to kill me soon
I want from you only that boon
Let me vanish like the cool moon
Crush my life like that of a cocoon

I beg you to consider my application
I love to enjoy this dying occasion
As killing is purely your avocation
To you I have given an indication.

mvvenkataraman


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What virtues are opposed to 7 Capital or Deadly Sins

Humility is opposed to Pride
Generosity to covetousness
Chastity to lust
Meekness to anger
Temperance to Gluttony
Love to envy and
Diligence to Sloth

11272011


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O INHUMAN AND FOOLISH RACE!

Could we ignore those heroes and heroines,
who fought for freedom and gave us many choices?
Every country has them and their valor we should revere!
I'd like to be one of them...but I hesitate to dare!


More than five thousands of years people have lived on our planet,
and powerful civilizations rose to subdue the ones with a weaker sword...
even today when knowledge is supreme, the mighty ones continue to do so!
O inhuman and foolish race...have you lost all consciousness and grace?


How can the human heart be enslaved by mighteness,
if precious freedom is a right given by God without prejudice? 
All, I repeat all peoples are entitled to liberty...O heroes and heroines rise!
I'm not inciting anyone to rebellion, but protest they should with their voice!


O inhuman and foolish race, how much longer can you brag and not be erased?  
Rome crumbled with its marble idols...others followed and lost what they highly praised!
Now justice is veiled by a feigned appearance: haters of faith and lovers of money abound,
bringing more destruction and danger to anyone alive...will they return to God?  


Details | Quatrain | |

Une grande armee de moi

Une grande armée de moi!


 J'ai été debout où tu m'as laissé
 Priant pour que tu viennes me chercher 
Mais maintenant, j'ai trouvé mon souffle blessé 
Et ma seconde peau qui est déchirée 


Eh bien, je sais ce que tu pensais
 Quand tu m'as cassé en morceaux 
Tu pensais de me regarder s'effacer
 Mais j'ai donné chaque morceau un nom


Un de moi est plus sage, 
Un de moi est plus fort 
Un autre est un combatant,
 Et il ya mille et un visages de moi!


 Bienvenue sur ma révolution sacrée
 Tous tes murs vont s'effondrer Cette fois, 
tu auras un goût du perdre comlpet Cette fois,
 la table va tourne en fait


 Je vois un aperçu de la reconnaissance 
Ta meilleure décision de l'heur 
Il est désormais ta pire erreur
 Oui c'est trop tard pour ton renaissance 


Alors, comment tu te sens? 
De comprendre que je vais te battre 
Que je peux te vaincre
 Que ce sont les plus doux pour moi 


Maintenant que je suis plus sage
 Maintenant que je suis plus fort 
Maintenant que je suis un combattant
 Et il ya mille et un visages de moi 


Je me lèverai contre toi 
Il ya mille et un visages de moi 
Pourque tu m'as cassé chaque fois 
Tu va affronter une grande armée de moi!!!


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Mind's Insecurity

Mind’s Insecurity

Why is it hard to hear your own words?
speaking truth but refusing to hear…
fine showing, hard swallowing
leave bitter tastes, easier to say
conflict inside.
Knowing there is no opposite
one real the other fake.
Yet the mind hurts the heart
with accusations or clues
even if it’s not true.
What do you do?
act like there isn’t pain
while attempting to be the same.
Silence surrounds speaking volumes
difference in intimacy become problems
left out for part of a plan
telling your mind to understand.
How do you recover from distance?
that your mind created
we know how misled that can be
flighty, focused on the worse
surviving all is its only course.
Upsetting solved issues
making it hard to get through
stupid when brought to light
already advising what is right.
One extreme to the next
bad habits hard to forget
practice what’s said
follow the heart
release the mind’s insecurity instead.


-Symphony


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You're Not Me

You don’t do what I would do
When it comes to many things.
You don’t see the way I see,
You don’t have my wings.

You stay cemented to the ground
When clearly you could fly…
And you don’t see the things you miss
When you don’t even try.

You don’t do what I would,
And you don’t have a clue -
That the things you miss do so much hurt.
It makes me sad for you.

I know that you are not me,
You don’t know the things I know.
You only see what’s in front of you,
Not things that aren’t shown.

Sometimes it’s what’s hidden.
It’s what just isn’t said.
It’s things that are conveyed inside,
Inside a persons head

It’s often written on their face,
Or etched across their heart.
Displayed in brilliant fashion,
That you‘ve broken them apart.

But to see what you are doing
When you forget to care,
You have to look much deeper
Than you would ever dare.

So I guess you’ll never really know
Unless you one day change…
Until you really think things through
You’ll always be the same.

2008


Details | Quatrain | |

Don't Think

Don't really know how to start this
Not every boo-boo will get a kiss
Life is a really fast trip
Don't blink, though some things you want to miss

I skipped graduation, it was no fun
My 'friends', the boys, everyone
Was out to get me, yea I'm the victim
Of the horrors of people and it's just begun

Used to think my greatness shone
Used to think that I wasn't owned
Used to think that I wasn't alone
I thought too much, this was known

Don't really know how to say this
Power is in more than a fist
Control can come from a simple kiss
Influence is something of a gift

We climbed our mountains and slid back down
Through many trials, being pushed around
Only through fear is loneliness found
It's hard by human nature not to be bound

Used to think together fear could be overthrown
Used to think together love could be grown
Used to think together we could be a home
I think too much, this is now known

Don't really know how to show this
Patting and powder won't cure the itch
If only life didn't have so many twists
Even the thought makes the slightest breath hitch

They were propped up by others' work
Never dealing with things that would hurt
Around concepts of action they'd skirt
To them, we are merely dirt

I'll still think they have no more space to grow
I'll still think they don't earn a cent they owe
I'll still think they need to get up and go
I'll be thinking too much, this I will know

Was a girl who couldn't keep in touch
Her mentality pushed oftly rough
Don't think, it hurts too much
Well, at least for me it does

~Reecie


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Crystal River

Crystal River


There is a crystal river flowing somewhere
somewhere it is flowing in my dreams.
When in my dreams I have a chance to wander
I wander to this gentle flowing stream.

As the sunlight dances happily upon it
quietly I sit and watch it play.
Time stands still within this golden moment
and I can feel my anguish slip away.

There grows a tree that weeps upon the water
where birds are singing sweetly from her veil
and as the sun weaves diamonds through her tresses
with tears of joy she weeps a radiant trail.

With abandon, her love flows to join the river
that is waiting, as a lover, for her kiss.
The beauty of their joining is resplendent
and I prosper from the glory of their bliss.

Nighttime never falls upon this river
which is forever flowing in my mind
yet in the days when I am filled with darkness
to all this shining beauty I am blind.

In those times I need a golden beacon
to light my soul and help me find my way
to the path that leads me to my precious river
where all my sorrow can be washed away.

There is a crystal river flowing somewhere
I hear it calling softly from my dreams
tempting me to come and sit forever
beside this bright and gentle flowing stream.


Details | Quatrain | |

How were the merits of Jesus Christ applied to our souls

The merits of Jesus Christ are applied to our souls through the Sacraments
Especially Baptism
Penance
Which restore us to the friendship of God

11282011


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Amidst my Futures Past

For what purpose after purpose do we come and go
Entering from utopia whilst life bestows
Sharpened corners lacerate living skin
Unknown of it's actions that happen within

Reflection to selection ones choice is made
To deliver one from breathing with the help of a blade
Elation to relief in translucent surround
Whilst my crimson flows without a sound

Weakened ripples run as I feel myself drain away
Another statistic, on just another of my days
Tunnelled tired eyes in tearful strain
As I turn my light to black, my living no longer reigns

Look at me I'm nowhere to be seen
Drifting in time as if in a long lost dream
The soul of I amidst the futures past
We are born to die not one of us lasts








http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/dark-9.php


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Each Other's Light

Smiles and happy memories
Laughing til we cry
Silly things you'd say to me
Learning how to fly

A perfect summer spent with you
Us riding in your car
Being side by side those days
Becoming who we are

Walking in dark places
We became each other's light
The constant in a spinning world
Made everything all right

A bond that seemed unlikely
To everyone we knew
We are so very different
That it surprised us too

You taught me to be stronger
By building on my strengths
You pointed out the best in me
While pushing to my lengths

And in that way you changed me
Alterations so complete
That I can barely recognize
Who I used to be

I couldn't help but notice
How you became so free
Your smile was so infectious
To everyone you'd see

Such a precious chapter
In the story of my life
I'll hold on to it with all I am
I'll carry you inside

While struggling to let go of it
Dealing with the change
Knowing there's a reason
But wanting things to be the same

And while i'm sad its over
I'm thankful that it was
I was blessed to meet you
In that i'll always trust


Details | Quatrain | |

Dew Decorate Me II

I have the want, I have the means
To cry. The trees won't weep for me.
I risked the reign to wear the crown,
A thousand tears, and my kingdom drowns.


Details | Quatrain | |

Wicker Park

In desperation of solitude,
Sanity struggles to stay afloat.
Dark clouds descend on paradise lost,
Escape disappears, madness provoked.

Shadows dancing under the pale moon,
Mischievous silhouettes on the walls.
In the company of misery,
An unsympathetic world revolves.

Tragedy collects inside her quill,
Trembling in her delicate hand.
Tears streaming onto crumpled pages,
Unseen words bleed onto her nightstand.

Child of darkness, product of sorrow,
A fallen star abandoned by Hope.
Haunted by the desecrated ghosts,
Past secrets sealed in an envelope.

Despair magnified by cold silence,
Stories untold, forgotten memoirs.
Drawn towards the pale light of the moon,
Alone she rides, shepard of the stars.


Details | Quatrain | |

Heart Fortress

Why am I upset?
 I am unsure,
But I hope for this bitterness 
That there is a cure.

This indifference toward living
Is burdensome so,
But my broken heart
Will not let it go.

Could it be that 
I've hardened my soul,
To the point where even I
Do not have control?

It would be a sad thing 
To no longer take part
In the inner workings
Of my fortified heart.


Details | Quatrain | |

What does incarnation mean and what does redemption mean

Incarnation means act of clothing with flesh
So our Lord clothed 
His divinity with a human body
Redemption means to buy back again

11272011


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Sorrow's Play

Shrouds of mist did cloak the day;
Whispering winds with list did play;
Upon the graves of human minds;
Shrouds of mist were left behind.....

Well-wrought webs of darkness dim;
Vibrant thoughts held within;
The minds of humans do decay;
As shrouds of mist on sorrow play.

Shrouds of mist did cloak the day;
As waves of senses swept away;
And all of those who dare rebel;
Were swiftly grasped and swirled to hell.



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What do we mean by grievous matter

By ‘grievous matter’ with regard to sin mean that the thought
Word or deed which is committed must be either bad in itself
Or severely prohibited
And therefore sufficient to make a mortal sin if we deliberately yield to it


Details | Quatrain | |

Laity

From Greek laos = people
The common state of life in the church
Baptized, non-ordained Christians
Who belong to the people of God

11302011


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Lullaby for the Grieving

Lay your head down precious one
And dry your eyes right now
For dreams of happy endings
Will be coming anyhow

The rains will stop, that much we know
Though we may not know how
So walk ahead to dryer ground
Where my love will abound

Know that when you're all alone
I've never been more near
And when you think I'm gone from you
I'm holding you, my dear

The nights will pass before you know
The sun will rise once more
I'll be with you in the sunshine
And with you in the storm

In the sunshine, in the rain
Just look up to the sky
And wish you may and wish you might
And to you, I will fly

I'll never leave you, never go
Where you can't find me there
Just look inside your heart to find
The love we share


Details | Quatrain | |

Dream of Gray

The days have passed as if within
a dream I have been living
now I wake into the sun
new life its rays are giving.

Yet I fear to touch reality
for it may slip away
and draw me back into this dream
that turns my world to gray.

Lost within this dream alone
pain feeds upon my mind
and with its shadows in my eyes
to color I am blind.

But once again the day dawns new
and draws me to its light
where I won't have to walk alone
and colors fill my sight.

So I'll hold fast to all I've gained
to end this weary dream
I'll venture into life again
and flow on with the stream.



Written 1985 
during a hospitalization for depression


Details | Quatrain | |

What do you believe of Jesus Christ

I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God
The Second Person of the Blessed Trinity
True God and True man
Great Prophet, High Priest and was anointed as the fullness of divine power


11282011


Details | Quatrain | |

APART

Apart in one body
Confused and defiled
Without the primal glory
Of infants purified

In bits and pieces
My whole life flies
An unsolved puzzle
An augur sigh

Would you help me?
Or pauperize
This poverty
Don’t close your eyes

Speak with your hands
Not with your tongues
Or stay still; blank
Savour my hurt.


Details | Quatrain | |

One Voice

One minute we're fine,
The next, we're done.
One minute you're mine,
The next, you're gone.

First it was just us two,
Just you and me;
Then there was someone new,
And two becomes three.

Mistakes are made,
And time won't go back.
We're forced to face
The reality of our act.

One became two,
Then two became three.
Three became two,
And two became me.

I'm all that's left,
Because I make a choice.
The love I had left,
Because I silenced a voice.


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THE FEAR OF DYING

Youth seemed an eternal joy
for a gorgeous and happy boy...
no worries over necessities,
with desires without sequence.


The fear of dying was far from pondering,
only beautiful days ahead for the youngest heart....
longing for a tenderness other teenagers never sought,
and sometimes sleeping away the afternoons was invigorating. 


Like glass sheding water, his soul was pure and epic
and he never shook his fist to seek revenge;
he never shillied to shin a tall tree with panic...
always used pragmatism whenever on perilous edge.


He lives miserably, living on a day-to-day existence,
but the fear of dying is to exemplify weakness,
not to exert himself and to better before he hits dead-end;
yesterday God was his sunrise, now that light is glimmering instead.


He justifies his misfortunes with an inadequate story,
while his friends enjoy a happy life, he frolics like a sky-lark 
feeding on what people discard in a garbage pail daily...
and weeps occasionaly, instead of coming out of the  dark.


Details | Quatrain | |

Spineless & broken hearted

He speaks with so much trust and love it hurts,
Leaving her so mindless and shattered everything is now nothing.
She feels the world revolved only around him,
Keeping her so intact that she bows down as if it was nothing.

We all now see her as a follower who's mind has been warped,
To the views of love that is not shown.
One movement of disagreement and he knocks her into shock and sadness,
Left with the thoughts of pain and regrets from her heartbreaking moans.

Only i feel sorry, and only i hate to see her look unhappy,
Others can't stand, nor ever will they care anymore of her pain.
& only i give in to let her know i am there to listen,
To try and keep her spirits high & remain sane.

He brings her gifts to try and apologize for his mistakes,
& after all that has been said, seemed  to go out the other ear,
She runs to him with tears and relief,
Now i have great fears for her and no doubt that she will come back with more 
Bruises and tears.


Details | Quatrain | |

SHORTENING THE DISTANCE

Birth is the beginning of a quest
which is unseen to human eyes,
sadly ending on our unpredictable death,
but not living another day shortens that distance.


Who decides our fate in ways so drastic,
unfolding events happy or tragic?
Who diverges the course of our days,
when hopelessness grips our desperate souls?


If dreams are built to become exinct,
to suddenly turn into detritus and dust... 
devastating us enough to dessicate the expanse
of hope, why is joy lacking the feeling of genuiness?


Despair is utterly exgeneous,
exploding when thoughts become tense,
expanding as wild fire to burn everything 
in its destructive path...leaving only embers behind.


Some choose to end life,
not valuing its sacredness and purpose;
shouldn't we be thrilled to exist as David was
and be immensely grateful, or defiantly denounce our belief?     


Gracefully age as Moses did,
never thinking of shortening the distance;
gain more wisdom as you live...
to discern what's beyond madness to reduce incidence. 
 









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What do we mean by our predominant sin or ruling passion

By our predominant sin
Or ruling passion
We mean the sin into which we fall most frequently and
Which we find hardest to resist

11272011


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Lamentation

Lamentation Calm and collected no hysterics or tears but I haven’t felt this bad in years. Not a physical pain of tooth or a limb but a deep morbid aching, way down within. Feel like I’ve been attacked, looted and plundered in stunned amazement I sat here and wondered. Can’t seem to succeed at the jobs that I’ve worked everywhere that I go my chain’s getting jerked. By all kinds of people, the young and the old and it’s all my fault, or so I am told. Sixteen hours a day sometimes I have labored in pursuit of success I dare not have wavered. But the world keeps on gaining, its way out ahead farther and faster from my reach it has sped. Nothing’s deserved it all must be bought with the sweat of the brow and quickness of thought. I’m slowing down now, just can’t keep up but no one will stop and put a coin in my cup. Not qualified yet, haven’t accomplished enough no rest for the weary I must get back up. But it just gives them a target to knock down again spit in my eye then wipe off their chin. I still have some pride and would like some respect but in this day and age I know what to expect. Laugh in my face as my pockets get picked, too late to discover; again I’ve been tricked.


Details | Quatrain | |

What effect has Lust on our souls

Lust begets in our souls a distate for holy things
Perverted conscience
Hatred of God
Frequently leads to complete loss of faith


Details | Quatrain | |

What effect has sloth upon the soul


Sloth begets in a soul
A spirit of indifference
In our spiritual duties and
A disgust for prayer

11272011


Details | Quatrain | |

Baptism

Water rushes past my face 
 Coolness and chills sink in 
Goosebumps pop and hair raises
 On this brand new skin 
The warmth of the breeze hits me
I feel it's breath, it's near 
Passes by my shoulders 
Hits me in my ears 
 Sun reflects off the ripples
 It blinds me, hits my eyes 
Orbs and halos fill my vision
When I look up to the sky 
 I sometimes gulp the water 
Salt dissolves on my tongue
The crystals dance inside my mouth 
To a song I've never sung
 I lie in the caressing water 
I lie there carelessly 
Floating to a new place 
A place for God and me


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O Jesus Christ

To turn away from You is to fall
To You is to stand
To remain in You is
To have a sure support

11282011


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From Violets to Violence

Faces and figures that only he can see.	
Heart sounds emit from his friend, the radio.
The past and the present are entwining him
As a once-hopeful future is lost in the din.

Upon dawn’s early light and throughout his days, now,
He knows to bear witness to all that they say now
From, “You are waste” and “Nobody wants you”
To, “Take your life now. You know that you want to!”
		
Shadowy forms on the ceiling and walls
Reach down to him: his tormentors’ calls
Where light is the dark and dark is the light;
Where night is the day and day is the night.

It’s a foregone conclusion, these garbled voices,
Bedlam’s intrusions interrupting his choices.
The velveteen violets too calmly revealed
Will soon be replaced by violence concealed.			


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Now And Forever

Running in
But running out
Things we hardly
Talk about

Do we make it
Through this mess
Are we breathing
At the best

What to call
The state we're in
Sometimes love
Sometimes sin

Will it be said
We did our best
Is the table
Ever blessed

Are there those
Who will attest
We ran the race
And passed the test

Now is God's
Time ever giving
Do we stop
And trust the living

Only time
Can say the end
Here and now
I must depend

Run the gambit
Ever hoping
Human race
and God eloping

This the end
Of earthly know
Left behind
No life bestow


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Graces in each moment

God doesn't ask much of you
Just cooperate
With each grace
He gives you in each moment

12122011


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Numb

Giving anything just to feel something
numbness from depression is worse than pain
my body's gone numb, away from life's sting
i've gone numb from a shot of nova cane.
with a smile i put my fears to the test
just taking a chance, waltzing on thin air
go diving in without holding my breath
i would not have jumped in if you were there.
from my depression comes the apathy
my blood flow stops and haults the healing
inside your eyes i see the empathy
but it is meaningless without feeling.
i see your face and it seems unreal
i then remember what is like to feel.


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What is actual sin

Actual sin is any willful thought
Word
Deed
Or Omission contrary to the will of God


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What is Anger

Anger is an excessive emotion of the mind 
Excited against any thing
It is an excessive desire for
Revenge


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MUCH A-DO

                                                  MUCH A-DO

We cannot worry over-much,
'Bout things we can't control.
Too much worry disrupts life,
And at length rots the soul.

Worrying 'bout this and that,
Can spoil your whole demeanor,
Causing you to disdain,
What makes your pastures greener.

Reality of fact is that,
Life has it's ups and downs,
Stomp and snort all that you please,
And growl and glance around,

To find someone to blame it on,
Although no one's to blame;
Sometimes things happen, this is true,
And it's to no one's shame.

Often we avoid some things,
But sometimes we just can't,
If we could go through life unscathed,
We'd be some kind of plant,

That simply sits, says not a word,
And never does a athing;
So learn to take life as it comes,
Relax and learn to sing;

For worry never solved a thing,
In fat it gives you ulcers,
And makes you old before your time,
So relax, gain some culture.

Learn to control your inner chi,
Your yen and then your yang,
Because worrying all the time,
Won't gain you one dang thang.

                                              Judy Ball


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Lies Flying

Lies flying
Truth dying
People too
Electrifying

Give me back
My country lost
Play a hymn
To what it cost

Colors gone
And sides were taken
Will this end
In banner shaken

Gray was gray
And blue was blue
No tone between
Nor greater hue

Tell me now
Just who is right
That I might see
An end in sight

North be north
And south just that
Why then be
This greatest spat


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FALLING LEAVES

It's that time of year when all the leaves fall
And the colors are brilliant and bold
I remember when I was younger, you see
Boy, the stories that I haven't told
Maybe right now, is the time to reveal
A story that no one else knows
A story about my childhood days
That was not pretty with how the wind blows
I was about ten, I believe, was the time
I got up to see the leaves fall
But, someone interrupted me, for sure
He told me to come stand by the wall
I did as he told me, so scared, as I was
My hands in the clinch of a fist
I saw things I didn't want to see
My eyes were in such a mist
He looked and touched and that wasn't all
He made me do "things" to him
The violation that took place
Was so dirty and nasty and dim
So, when I think about the leaves falling
It takes me back to a childhood time
That doesn't make any sense to me
For there was no reason or rhyme


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What are chief sources of sin

Chief sources are Seven
Pride, Greed, Lust
Anger, Gluttony, Envy and Sloth or laziness
Commonly called 7 Capital Sins or 7 Deadly Sins 


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What is Covetousness

Covetousness is Greed
Part of 7 Capital Sins
Or Deadly Sins
Greed is an excessive desire for worldly things


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The Past

Alone, inside my wounded mind
seeking answers I must find
the past, it rears its ugly head
to keep me filled with pain and dread
always wanting me to bleed
to fill a dark and vile need.

Too many years it's kept its hold
and left me lost in dark so cold.
In desperate tones I plead and pray
I beg it "please, just go away"!
Within my weary soul I grieve
fearing it may never leave.

I've fought so hard to be set free
from pain trapped deep inside of me
with no parole, sentenced for life
with pain that cuts with razor knife.
Still to this very day I fight
to kill the dark and keep the light.

Though tears flow from this womans eyes
it's still the little girl who cries.
Again, she sings the same sad song
feeling what she feels is wrong.
Always regretting to reveal
to the world the pain I feel.


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What kind of sin is drunkenness

Deliberate drunkenness, always a mortal sin
If the person is completely deprived of the use of reason by it
But drunkenness is not intended
Or desired may be excused from mortal sin 


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why read my poems

Why would anyone read my poems?
They are but rantings
Words that came from where my mind has roamed
Nothing but ravings


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Free

Standing in chaos—losing the battle
Sensing destruction near at the door
I was living despondency—wondering every day
God, can I possibly take anymore?

I was the victim—self proclaimed martyr
Always remaining the person in need
Sometimes mistreated—often neglected
Brought to my knees, it was there I would plead

Wanting out desperately—hoping for something
To pull me away from the crumbling ledge
Reaching into the dark—seeking the answer
Knowing without it, I'd fall from the edge

I said, "Lord, can you help me—won’t you please save me?
I know that you're out there, just give me a sign"!
I needed to find the faith—grasp for it blindly
I had to believe that salvation was mine

Then, I heard the voice speaking—the Spirit was leading
Bringing me into a presence unknown
The Father's redemption—was taking a hold of me
And without fear, the faith in me has grown

Now I can feel His love—fully encompassing
I walk in the confidence he's granted me
Seeing my life ahead—knowing there is a plan
In Him I rejoice, for I'm finally free!


Written in July, 1999


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VERY SICK OF THE FLU

I find hard to move around,
dragging my aching body,
unable to do even the simplest chores...
yes, I am very sick of flu:
it's something I can't undo!


I will not go to the hospital,
lie in a comfortable bed for hours,
coughing and sneezing waiting for a call...
while spreading this virus and infecting others.


I'm missing out on brisk walks  
that keep my immune system healthy,
and no blues frustrate me more than loneliness...
come spring and let joy renew itself in this memory.   

 
My remedy is Robitussin by far,
a miraculous cure for cold symptoms,
and since I can't go out, or drive my car...
I indulge myself in the creation lyrics.


It's my first day back to work,
I'm drinking coffee, and I shouldn't,
but these headaches won't go away...
unless I smell it, sip it and dream away.


Copyright 2010 by Andrew Crisci


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Tears of Blood

The salty tears had come like a flood
But now I only cry tears of blood
The buckets worth, gallons and gallons
Like my eyes and heart were cut with razor sharp talons

I'll hand you back each bucket
I'll tell you, you can suck it
You better not come running back to me
Because I'll probably just slap you in the face, you'll see

I'll give you back everything, every ounce of love
Because I feel like it's raining these tears of blood
I want you to feel it, feel what I felt
To feel something painful on your heart, a welt

Like someone's ripping out your emotions
Leave yourself, feeling more raged then the oceans
Was this not what you were anticipating?
Was I all too suffocating?

Well how am I to know if you don't give me a sign
Now I feel that you have a weak spine
You could have said something to me
So I knew how you had wanted things to be

But if you just start pulling away 
Then I don't know what I should say
The only thing I knew to do was hold on
I tried so hard, I tried to be strong

But you gave me nothing, left me alone
You must have a heart of stone
Because my tears once came like a salty flood
But now all I have, are tears of blood...





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Twelve Apostles

Greek apostolos = someone sent, messenger
The names of the twelve apostles are these
First Simon, who is called Peter [Roman Catholic’s 1st pope] and 
Andrew his brother
James the son of Zebedee 
John his brother
Philip
Bartholomew
Thomas 
Matthew the tax collector
James the son of Alphaeus 
[Judas [Jude]] Thaddeus
Simon the Cananaean and
Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Him
Mt 10 2-4

11302011


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What is Gluttony


Gluttony like Greed
Excessive desire of Food or Drink
Part of7 Capital sins or 7 Deadly sins
Jesus Christ requires one to confess


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What is mortal sin


Mortal sin is grievous offense against the law of God
This sin is called mortal because it deprives us of spiritual life
Sanctifying grace
Brings everlasting death and damnation of the soul


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What is Temptation

Temptation is anything that
Incites
Provokes
Or Urges us to offend God


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Recent Problems

I’m battling demons I do not know
The ones you can never see
They seem to be always winning
Keep getting the better of me

My mind, it’s so weary from battle
My thoughts, they cannot get straight
I wish my life was just simple
But complexity remains my true fate

You’d think I’d have it together
With family to help, if they could
But no, my life’s just a mess
And it seems my choices, no good

My heart, it is in the right place
Always ready to fight a good fight
But my mind, it does no more pushing
It rolls over and says then good night

If the two could just come together
Then maybe I’d be sure to succeed
But alas, they always fail to align
While my heart is left there to bleed

So, these demons that seem to persist
Push me and poke and they prod
They weaken my very own will
They’re crowding me back to the sod

They’re burying my every attempt
I almost feel like just giving in
But then I’d have nothing at all
Because I’d let them all win

So, though my mind is now mush
My heart will carry my true
I know somehow I will beat them
If it’s the last ting that I ever do 


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Skater Man

He stood all alone, helpless and cold.
 The vile words thrown at him, how bold.
They don't know his situation couldn't be controlled.
 If they would only listen as his story is told.

They think he is a drunk, or that he is crazy.
 "He probably has no home because he is lazy."
His life before this is all really hazy.
 I bet they never knew he likes Swan River Daisies.

He's not a person in their clouded eyes.
 They don't risk talking to him, it's probably all lies.
I see how people treat him and a part of me dies.
 If only they could see he's an angel in disguise.
  
He once was a CEO, a husband, and a father to be.
 His happiness was stolen when his wife's car hit a tree.
In a downward spiral, the future he no longer could see.
 It wasn't two lives lost in the crash, it was three.

His pain so great, he just couldn't cope.
 He thought God failed him, so he had no hope.
To ease the pain, he turned to dope.
 He'd hang himself, if only he had some rope.

Try as I might, I can't get him to come home.
 He says he is better off on the streets, all alone.
He thinks he ruins lives so the streets he'll roam.
 He has all he needs, he says, a toothbrush and a comb.

Its sad to know, I'm his one true friend.
 If only someone could make amends.
I listen with my heart and I don't condescend.
 I will be there for him until the end.

I pray for my "Skater Man", every night.
 The hand he was dealt, just wasn't right.
I pray he will one day see the light.
 Sadly, its his battle and one I just can't fight.


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Lost in Sorrow

Eyes full of tears,
Still crying over you.
Since you left the world,
It’s hard to continue.

Living this lonely life,
Full of emptiness and grief.
Your natural stay on earth,
Was all but too brief.

I know you left the shell,
God had let you borrow.
But since you left my heart,
I lost myself in sorrow.


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Inner Turmoil

I cry so loud, yet you never hear me weeping
I stand so tall, though I feel like falling down
I must go on though, life is so worth keeping
As tears now gather, could make a person drown

My existence questioned, seldom ever answered
My thoughts then turn to the faces of the young
My wife she looks to me for strength, so absurd
For in my heart there are songs just never sung

Yet, I must smile and move so steadily ahead
While my body’s weak, with dreams to stay in bed

I know so well that I must shake these feelings
But each day just brings so much more new strife
My inspiration lies within my loving family
I give them praise, my children and my wife

Without them there I’d forever be so vacant
As dreams and goals would never take a shape
So, actions now are ones I must just warrant
And from depression I must then escape

My family keeps me going as best I could
For them I’ll reach the goals just as I should


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Something's Changed

Your face has lost complexion
Your eyes no longer glow
Your smile appears now waning
You heart has dimmed below

No longer is that twinkle
That shone there in your eyes
What happened, what had changed you
That leaves you paralyzed?

I’ve tried to chase then for you
The monsters there at bay
To bring you from the darkness
Into the lightened day

My hand’s extended outward
With love there left to hold
Yet nothing offered back from you
Which leaves me feeling cold

Now, stars exploding in the sky 
As the earth ducks under trees
The mountains are taking cover
Oceans swallow the debris

The vast amount of space
That now exists out there
Is dead and soon forgotten
As we fall into despair


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She Walked Away

I tried my best to hold her dear;
To hold her close, to keep her near.
She did her best, but wouldn’t stay.
So she got up and walked away

I cried that night, the night she left
It was a night I’ll never forget
Forever it’s etched, within my head.
For all she knows, I’m laying dead.

And now as I reflect upon
The life we had, that won’t go on,
I must forget her, evermore.
She’ll not return to my door.

Before I pack away my thoughts;
Into the box that I just bought,
I’ll stop to think just one last time
Of when I thought that she was mine.

Goodbye and good riddance, I say to her
For causing me all this pain and hurt.
Tomorrow I hope to smile the entire day
At the thought of when she walked away.


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Shore of Time

By the shore, the sun now sets.
Here I stand, but time forgets
Standing, looking upon the sea
Will time be my enemy?

Memories flood from way back when
My head now filled of now and then
Some good, some bad, but all are mine
If only now, I had the time.

Whoa, to be able to one day return
Go back to the days for which I yearn
The life of love, I shared back then
Then, all my love, to you I send.

But, here is the now, present and still
No chance to go back, except for the will.
I have that want, so maybe you’ll see
A better tomorrow may come back to me.