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On Writing And Words Depression Poems | On Writing And Words Poems About Depression

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Details | Free verse | |

Tension Waiting

The swordsman who draws his blade
Heart racing at the keening of steel on scabbard 
Tension coiled, poised for the unleashing
Held back by muscles tight with glee.

I am as the soldier, held in stance,
The lioness crouched beneath the concealing grass
As it sways back and forth, as insects sing along the day
Her every breath is halted, her veins do not pulse,
And just as the swordsman stands
They are statues in this moment,
Statues of derision,
Mocking, with their stillness, the very charged tension within.

And I am as the lioness frozen before her pounce
Coiled with motivation and purpose,
And I am as the tongue held with words clinging off its’ edge
Ready to lash out and strike with direction
But I am as the frozen purpose, held tight
Waiting, for a warrior to stand before me
For a reason to uncoil, to lash out with words and pounce.

But I am now as the pen halting before the purest of paper
White and supple, in askance for the lightest touch
A slash of the tip, drawing lines in ink
Lines like a hunter’s bowstring, taut with intent,

As the pen lies frozen above its prey, the falcon petrified aloft still winds
I am the need coiled tight like a wound jack in the box
But alas, there is no victim to frighten,
No pray to pounce upon, no sword or bared neck to slash against
And I am here, with pen frozen, ink ready to be drawn taut
And I have nothing to draw in the ink, no prey or purpose to evoke
I am coiled tight with energy, but it is release that so eludes me,
I am coiled tight with purpose, but it is direction that so denies me.

And here I am, pouncing at ground before me, 
Slicing away at the air around me
Scratching away with a dry pen, on paper still white in askance
I write about…
I write about the coil within, and the lack without
And alone I wonder,
Is it enough, is it enough to go on, a wound up box
Waiting for the slightest touch, the weakest parry, to live.


Details | Ballad | |

Unanswered Poems

Don’t send me more 
Of your tragic poems
My dear 
Covered in blood
Of your monthly flood
Of tears

Don’t send me more 
Of your angry poems
My dear
Carved with the knife
Of your molten spite
And fears

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

Don’t send me more
Of your bitter poems
My sweet
Forged in the fire
Of your endless ire
And grief

Don’t send me more 
Of your hopeless poems
My sweet
Ripped from the womb
Of the lonely room
You keep

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

(You see that shadow on the road
Trudging ‘neath its heavy load
A heart weighed down by sands of time
And your poems only make him cry
And he won’t add them to the pile
So he can walk another mile)

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear 
Too heavy, dear
For me to read 
For me to bear

(They make him sad
Make him cry
Beat him down
Deep inside)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

They make me sad
Make me cry
Feel as though 
I want to die

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

(A heart weighed down 
By sands of time
And your poems 
Only make him cry)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear



Details | Rhyme | |

Inspiration gone

As i stare at this paper
empty
without words
it waits for me to write
so my feelings can be heard
inspiration came often
when we were together
words flowed freely
my pen
light as a feather

Fate has a reputation
of never being wrong
it takes destiny by the hand
and grips it forever strong
now this paper
which once was alive
quietly stares back at me
with dull loose leaf eyes
it mocks me
even dares me
to write words i couldn't speak for years
but, without you
the forecast calls for emptiness
with a good chance of tears

Inspiration comes from within
your smile always gave me my start
but these days my pen lay heavy
and so quietly broken
like a roadmap of your heart
for soulmates are rare
to let one go........even worse
now this pen and paper
who once were my companions
are now the very things i curse

So i put my pen down
and tuck the paper away for the night
and maybe tomorrow
just maybe
words i couldn't speak
i'll be able to write......



Details | Rhyme | |

Imagine Depression

As I, sit here and I stare up at the night sky,
The cool air rushes past, and it's a moonless night
I listen to leaves bristle in the gusts of wind,
and the howling of the smooth air, and it's my friend

They say there's always a rainbow at the end of a storm,
well I'm still picking up the pieces while another storm is born
And while my last scar is healing, more of my skin is torn,
These last few months, I can't figure out what has been going on

So I, put these words together like it's gonna change anything,
If anything I'm doing nothing but hanging on to my dignity
I already lost my pride, I put it up on the shelf,
So that when you laugh at me, I laugh along, at myself

Cause nothing you can do can phase me, this life is a maze see
You just gotta stop by and take a glance to learn I'm amazing,
Because I made it here, without giving up,
and there's a long road ahead of me before I blow up

As my body deteriates, my soul is still alive
My mind is ahead of me, I'm living before my time
But in my mind, what I'm doing is right,
And I know I'm losing, but at least I'm putting up a fight

I'm scared off the odds, because the results could be drastic,
I'd rather hide my face, so like Halloween I mask it
And the mask fits, so I choose to wear it
Then like my face, the pain hides, and I can finally bare it

I just, roll along like everything is good,
knowing that I'm nothing, but I'm doing what I should
This depression is taking over, who would've known that it could
I need some shade for a while, so I slip inside of my hood

I try to, dream better dreams and live better days,
Knowing that the end of that road is miles away
There's no stop lights, just an on going road,
I've got no compass, my heart is tell me which way to go


Details | Blank verse | |

Love Song

Here’s what I’m thinking now 
at the end of the world: 

There are no atheists in foxholes— 
no theists in politics. 
If knowledge is power, 
and power corrupts, 
then why did I bother reading you, Cicero? 

Does it matter that I didn't’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

There’s a poetry reading tonight 
whence I’I'll chide other poets 
who don’t sit alone. 
I won’t bring up death 
but I might have to breathe, 
even into a mike 
and mouth lines to get a snap or a boo 
maybe even a wince or two. 

Just maybe I’I'll talk about love 
and how following your heart is like following a dog— 
it only leads to vittles and (female dogs). 
But how many times have I used that line 
since the story I wrote about you, 
a witty and sexy and fictional you? 
Most likely I’I'll read something tonight about you. 

I won’t recite it from memory 
because I don’t think about you that much anymore, 
not even when I search for my socks in your drawer 
or when I put on the scratchy sweaters you give me, 
horizontally striped to bring out my eyes? 

I don’t remember your eyes 
except they are blue. 
And I don’t remember you, 
not even when I smell cucumber and apple, 
not even when I sleep on my side of the bed 
or when you walk through the door 
happy to see me; 
even then I don’t remember you. 
Does it matter that I don’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

How about a few one-liners 
for the end of days?— 

Depression is self-awareness, 
which you’d know if you were; 
I need Ritalin to listen to you, 
Lithium to hug you, 
Viagra to feel you, 
and Valium to sleep. 

All you need 
is me standing there, waiting at home 
with turns of phrase and word plays 
telling you about why I hate Ayn Rand 
but want to buy as much as I can 
and how I love celebrity gossip 
and detest poetry slams 
and find rhyming trite 
except when I am. 

Hypocrites can still be right, 
which you do understand 
because you nod at my nonsense 
about fighting the man. 

But now, at the end of all things— 
I’m speechless and witless and pointlessly well-read, 
and you’re just sitting there, smiling 
asking me to pass the bread.


Details | Free verse | |

In the Shallows

           I bent over to touch my toes
               and the ground tore open like a backbone.

I tried to feed myself the sky;
to splice my tearducts into the universe 
so that, when the pavement cried, it would mean something to me.
My fingernails punctured that slimy membrane
congealed with stars, 
and I brought a slice of it to my lips,
hot and slippery like a jellyfish.
Peach juice, chalky-sweet, flowed,
fleshy particles snagged in my teeth,
and the colors erupted within my mouth.

Synthesia took over my lungs.
The hollows between my knuckles flooded with synovia
and all the ectoplasm threatened to separate from my cells
with a sound like thunder.
Diphthong tasted rusty like leukoplakia as it tiptoed across my tongue.
Tomorrow rose like the skeletons of trees, 
groping for a feeling similar to catharsis
[catharsis tender as the broken wings of doves,
crunching underfoot like shattered glass.]

The clouds opened their thunderous maws
- teeth snicker-snacking, lamplight-eyes flaming the color of E#'s -
and consumed me.
I felt my skin turn to something other than skin:
thick and rough with scales,
my fingerprints melting into something waxen, smooth and opaque,
like pomegranate kisses on coffee mugs.
A feeling ignited deep in my structure;
cedillas blossoming like lilies from my lips,
fragmented sentences stretching taut as guitar strings
between my thumb and forefingers.  
A flutter gentle and demonic as Calcifer erupted from my system
- splattering hot and frothing into my hand -
and fluid rushed in.

   I dared to taste oblivion,
       and the sky swallowed me. 

My lungs failed to be lungs.
They flooded with caustic matter,
and I coughed up reflections sharp as fiberglass;
fighting with organs phthisical and sore.
I struggled to find a way to describe it:
the feeling of consuming something greater than yourself,
of opening your eyes and tasting the sound of rain.
It was like swimming, 
but inside out.

            I bent over to touch my toes,
              and my spine tore open;
            the loose laces unraveling, veterbrae poking out
          like the tines of forks.
            I tried to contort myself into the beginning,
              but I only found where I end.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Clown The Fool And Me

Many nights I've sat typing things for which none will ever read.
Burning midnight oil only to add to this mornings trash.
Then going about the act of pretending it's all good.

Wearing a mask of my own creation.
These long nights of endless confession to empty wall's.
Hollow thoughts from a bitter heart to scared to exist as himself.

The page lay beaten only to be erased.

the circus of life is a deception for after the show when the dust settles 
the magic gives way to truth.
Tempers flare  and thoose happy clowns appear to be just angry ordinary
people who hate and loath there so called friends.

Dream that it would have all been diffrent if not for this or that.
never taking blame just putting it on others like normal so called adults.

These long nights breed anger and that page takes  the punishment
and like a coward I look apon this act of pure thoughtless work.
And second guess myself wishing only for the approval of people who yearn only 
for the approval  of some one else.
Like hamster in a wheel never getting anywhere.

For who wants to be themself when you can be a watered down version of someone who 
wasnt good to start with.

I cant say the comforts of being a clone wouldnt be nice .
But I never did like things that were nice.
Never cared about being on a list  or kissing someone's rearend just 
to have them talk about me as soon as my back was turned.

Be yourself and cherish thoose who hate  for  the bitter and cruel amount to
nothing  and there only hope is to lure you down there same dead end life.

The clown tries in vain to make you laugh.
The fool doenst know or care if you laugh.
And me Im just the jerk adding to the mornings trash empty 
as the page that sit's befor him.


Details | Concrete | |

I know I can Be a Bad Man

Yeah I know I can be a bad man
But I just want people to understand
I do what I must, I do only what one can

I think about life, I think about my everyday strifes
I know I love you girl you the mama of my children
You already like my wife
I know I have cheated from time to time 
but you the only one who I sleep with at the end of another long night

Yeah I know I can be a bad man
But I just want people to understand
I do what I must, I do only what one can

I know I like to drink yet it feels like I love that alcohol
This liqour and beer is my number one downfall
If it werent so then the crazy *****in my life now I would have never saw
I would have never ended up sitting in prison for breaking the law

Yeah I know I can be a bad man
But I just want people to understand
I do what I must, I do only what one can

It's alright now though because Im back in school
I know I struggle at times but Im reframing from being another lost fool
I know it bull-*****even though many youngsters think that *****is cool
But they don't know if they been where I been and still want to do what I do


Details | Concrete | |

Silent Cries

Im look happy on the outs but Im sad deep inside. 
I know none of ya'll mother ****ers gonna see my silent hidden cries. 
Death's right around the corner so if I die I die with honor not pride. 
In this life of mine everyday is a do or ****ing die. 
Here in the land of OZ you face the truth even if it's a ****ing lie. 
Here you either do or you don't, ain't no such thing as giving it a try. 
Here fantasy ain't *****once the truth hits you finally realize. 
I was once a young lost soul trying to fit in and be just another one of the "guys".
 Smoking weed getting drunk feeling so dam low while getting so dam high. 
Flying so dam low at the same time walking so dam high Im fly. 
I know not one person here can understand or know my hidden cries. 
The only one who can truly understand me is the one who I pray to in the sky. 
I know I look happy but I feel like *****from side to side, 
I need to better understand my own silent cries......


Details | Ballad | |

The Forgotten Ones

Forgotten somewhere in the midst of steel and concrete. 
Bound by shackles and chains even in our sleep. 
Living like wolves preying amongst lost sheep. 
Concrete tears and pains so mindfully deep. 

Forgotten by those on the outside. 
We cant even run no where, we cant even hide. 
No choice left but to sit and fight. 
In here only the strong minded survive. 
Truth be told in here what is wrong is right. 

All most os us got is wasted M&^*&F*^&&ng time. 
We sit back and work out and write heartfelt rhymes. 
Not to be a victim of prey we all trying. 
Many stories are told, songs are written of truth over lying. 

We are gone for the moment but not truly forgotten so the hurt we must not show it.
 We are to old while we young to be crying in front of full grown men for this is a time we must out grow it.
 There aint no way out this hell hole and we all know it. 
Feelings of hopelessness surrounds te heart to the point where we can no longer control it.
 
In here there is only time no fun. 
Darkness fills night no light shone in here from the sun. 
Only by our own selves we may be out done. 
BECAUSE IN HERE IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE TRULY THE FORGOTTEN ONES....


Details | Alliteration | |

Our Very Own Lies

I can see the truth clearly now, and the truth is we live in a world where almost everything is shaded to a lie. (We act as if we are someone else and just can’t be what we want to be.)
 Truth remains strong that our very own fables cover our very own two eyes. (We only choose to see what we want to see.)
 Only fibs and tall tales are left on the local store corner….for they the only things left on the shelf that we can buy. (Many Profound Truths remain imprisoned while too many lies are out there living free.)
 I look at the ground because I can’t look at the sky; I laugh more with death rather than crying with life. (Shakespeare once said “To be or not to be” but I say F%$k trying “To be” because I’d rather “Just BE”.)
 Living amongst a world of shaded illusions upon the mind eye, upon which we have many wrongs more than our rights, yeah I know we all want peace but yet we still choose to fight. (We long for death but fear it; we want to go away but don’t know what will happen when we leave our loved ones with certain grief stolen away in the night by death like a thief.)
 So why is it so many of us continue to stare at our everyday truths as if we are blind, as if we cannot see our own struggle through our very own lies……..


Details | Verse | |

Haunting Verses

In the pocket of an old coat about to be donated, I stumble upon words scribbled on a pad as I watched my husband die. “Your love is the most precious thing in my life. Do you know I see you as a shining star -- my mentor, my lover, my best friend” Preparing to move, I find a letter. a note from the first boy I ever loved. “I want to date other girls; but I want to stay friends.” Why had I saved this? To renew the pain again in days to come? We never did stay friends. In my desk I discover a verse I wrote while flying to Dad’s funeral. I’d wanted to read it at the service; my sister said it was too amateurish. “For every step my father took, My child’s legs took three, ‘Daddy, please,’ I called to him, ‘You walk too fast for me.’ “As Dad lay dying carrying years That numbered ninety-three, I could not help but say aloud, ‘They went too fast for me.’” And now as days are numbered, my muse stepped out the door, leaving me in God’s hands. Don’t know if I’ll be writing anymore.
*Entry for Carol’s contest “Pieces of Paper...a Poet’s Heart” By Carolyn Devonshire


Details | Rhyme | |

Blank Page

Too long have I been staring at this cruel blank page before me, My crazed, hysteric mind screaming and imploring I know there is a message that's dying to come out— I need to fill this confounded page without the slightest doubt! It's a simple predicament to manipulate, Into a mass of thought A futile attempt to insinuate, Weak hints are left with naught I sit here in silent desperation, What can fill this page? I slap myself in indignation, My eagerness becoming rage! Like roaches sporadically running from light My thoughts are but a haze The words I write just don't seem right, On this cruel blank page!


Details | Alliteration | |

We Beat Until We Battered

We sometimes drink and smoke so much We get beat until we are battered 
Our dreams were like one giant wall of glass where upon they were destined to be shattered
 Broken in a heap of glass we now stay occupied where lost souls continue to gather
 Dark yet so desolate living amongst those were nothing in life but a quick death seems to matter
 It seems as if the harder we try the more below we get needing somekind of ladder
 All I hear are silent screams among gossiping chit chatter 
Our truth is getting skinnier while our lies are well fed by the way the are getting fatter
 Crying souls overcome those that are filled with laughter 
The clock for many of us gets slow but our life train to death only gets faster 
Many of us which remain lost in addiction looking for a positive leader, a mentor, some kind of master
 
But when shyt hits the fan we must remain strong even if we just lost someone close and are feeling sadder
 If life is to throw us those curveballs in a the ring then its time stop mr nice guy and get badder
 You must endure the shyt that you got to endure even if it gets your hands and feet a little tathered
 Life can and will get you drunk so handle your drink or let it bring you down until you can no longer stagger
 You must tell yourself **** them and everybody else because you still got skill even if you aint got swagger
 Just tell yourself "**** they judgements" because you know in your own eyes you still look sharper than a dagger
 SO QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU AINT NEVER BEEN MENTALLY BEAT UNTIL YOUR PERSONALITY WAS BATTERED.....BECUASE IT WHAT YOU MAKE IT IN THE END THAT TRULY MATTERS!!!!!


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Controlling Men: Physically, Mentally, and Verbally Abusive Men

All men (the loser boyfriends/husbands) think that it's their right to be physically, mentally, and verbally abusive toward their female companions (girlfriends/wives), well they're wrong. Most guys are always beating their girlfriends/wives up every single day just because they didn't make their men dinner, do chores around the house, or whatever. It seems that these womanizing losers are way better than their women. Actually, they're not; they're idiots. Controlling these women and being physically, mentally, and verbally abusive toward them don't make these Neanderthals men; they're like childish cowards. All guys think that they're the only breadwinners in their families and the women aren't. But guess what--they're not; some of them don't have jobs. And does anyone knows what gets on my nerves? Men always cheating on their girlfriends/wives with other women, getting them pregnant, and not taking care of the children they already have. And those controlling, abusive men, they're always telling their female spouses/lovers what to do, what to eat, where to look, and who to talk to. I mean, who are these womanizing losers to judge other men and to boss these women around? I mean, who does that? Everybody doesn't even know why they'd bother spending the rest of their lives with those abusive idiots. This whole saying by these controlling abusive men have been getting on everybody's nerves and my nerves, as well: "You're-not-to-speak-unless-spoken-to," this "You're-not-to-talk-to-your-family" ordeal, this whole "You're-not-to-have-guy-friends," and this whole "You need me! You're nothing without me! You have no money! You have no friends! Everything's in my name: the house, the cars, clothes, everything I own! You're useless! You're worthless! I own you for life! And you will respect me!" Where I come from, the rest of us nicer guys, we treat our women with the respect they rightfully deserve. The last time I checked, the mothers have raised their sons to treat women and other people with respect, but they now know where they've gone wrong with those womanizing clowns. My suggestion for the women is for them to leave their abusive husbands/boyfriends before it's too late because if they don't, they'll end up in the hospital or the morgue. To be honest, these women, they never should've met, let alone dated or married those abusive men to begin with. And if these abusive men think that they can control those women forever, they've got another coming.


Details | Alliteration | |

Writer Crazy

Life is so crazy/ 
Death so busy it never get's lazy/ 
Thoughts blurred and blinded by true lies that they always get hazy/ 
The mother ****ing devil is always trying to chase me/ 
But I'm stronger than that I won't ever let *****like that ever ****ing faze me/
 I no longer care if any muther ****ers want to over or under rate me/ 
I've already been ****ing up on my own lately/ 
I take your ****ing criticism greatly/ 
*****es I'm too real for any of you fake mother ****ers to fake me/ 
I'm too ****ing still in God's foundation to let the devil shake me/ 
I'm the general, the king of my own *****nobody can't ever break me/ 
**** what people say for I am the maker of my own *****people can't ever make me/
 I'm the leader and deliverer of my own *****you can never take me/ 
Who want to question *****about *****mother ****ers thats why I'm Writer Crazy.....


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Death Of A Believer

        DEATH OF A BELIEVER
The death of soul steals slowly through the years
the fog of mind that's never known to be;
brought on by laughter, love, and hate and tears
the fate of all that few can ever see.

It brings the withering of life, and all its leaves,
once green and shining in the morning sun,
now setting on it all, in evening grieves
for lack of interest in what life has done.

Compassion leaves the mind, once fired and prime
and old and tired now beats the heart we knew
life now mundaned by passing of all time,
there's nothing left the heart would like to do.

     Old man, you're numbered to your final breath
      and no one cares for all your sweat and tears,
    your rest is not until it's done in death,
      but keep the faith in what you've done for years.
            © ron wilson


Details | Lyric | |

I Can't Say It Without You

I was your never ending composer
We spent many a nights, and many an hour together
But now you’re lost inside
And I can’t find my way, again.

( chorus )
Cause I can’t say it without you		
It hurts to be without the feeling		
Never knowing when it will return		
But I know that you would stay with me	
If you came back, again some day		
But till then I’ll wait till you appear.	

I really miss the way you make me feel
People said we were meant to be together
Why’d you leave me so unexpectedly
I hope you come back soon.

( Chorus )

It’s been two months since I’ve written you
All I’ve got to show is crumpled bits of paper
The passion and creativity is now gone
So come back home so I can work it out.	


Details | Verse | |

The Poetic Blues

I think I self-sabotage unknowingly 
because of fear
So my message goes unheard because I’m afraid to let the people hear
And end up drowning in the poetic blues
doubting my ability to write about the truth;

I dug deeper and deeper into myself trying to write a poem good enough to be free of judgment
Then I stepped out on faith and suddenly I was triumphant 
and my writing grew 
and I was loving it
I had finally passed the fear of speaking and caring about who the fu*c! was judging it

As I wait to be inspired for the next poem, 
I sit and think alone and drown in my sorrows
Listening to jazz, blues and a.m. radio
trying to find an excuse not to perform at the SLAM 
because again I can’t think of a damn thing to write…..
Drowning in poetic blues
Will this be the one that will be thrown away and never be used 

Or will this be the one that transcends the others  
and finally prove that poetry is blues and blues is poetry and hip hop and jazz and r&b, 
Poetry is music and the words dance around in my soul 
and I am free once they become spoken 
In the meantime the paper is where the words will rest 
until the silence is broken

Drowning in the sea of proper delivery 
My voice, my stance, my intensity
How will others interpret the words that I’ve chosen so diligently?
I wrap my soul around the possibility that none of the words I choose – 
will keep me from becoming deluged and trapped by the poetic blues

Somehow my heart refuses to accept that I don’t deserve to have my words heard 
and it takes over this whole process
No more time for shrinking and feeling less
I was born to  make my words manifest light
I am a gorgeous medium to the truth yeah that's right
I was sent here to give you a piece of good news
Remember that God is with you when you get
The poetic blues


Details | Alliteration | |

One Among Many part 1

Chapter 1 
As but only one young lost man in a great land I sometimes don’t want to see what I see in life but death causes me to look. I don’t want to hear the things I hear but have to admit the things here that I’ve heard. I don’t want to be guilty today it’s why I continue to strive past my past for innocence in the near future. I don’t want to feel what I feel but after another day in this dark place has gone by I can’t hide what I have painfully felt. As but one young man I wonder why I question others motives and still can’t see the answers to my own as if I know all the answers to life when I don’t even know the true cause of my own. I wonder why I am happier at times but more often than not why I continue to be sad. I look for ones in groups of twos and get lost in groups of threes, but don’t get even me started on the groups of fours. On the outside world I am lost yet inside myself I know I am found, I holler silently at night while I quietly pray during the day. As but only one young man I can only do what is best for self-first if I want to start making a difference for two. 
Sometimes life for one can be fun, but on the reservation more often than not it is boring and dull. On the reservation I found serenity and solitude in the hills but I also found old savages and young Satan’s in the towns. I see beauty and peace in Mother Nature but I also found violence and ugliness among my very own in the neighborhood. I see not what I see and I think not what I think for I feel what I see which leads me to think. I choose rather to just be rather than not be what other people want me to be. I see what I see because I haven’t really got a choice in what I will see, I’d rather choose to just say that I saw. Outside people can’t make one see what I already choose not to see for I see what I see rather if they want me to see things their way or not. I can’t feel what they feel unless they feel what I feel and live where I live and be where I am to know where I truly am from to understand the thoughts and feelings of not only a young native of struggle, but as a person worldwide no matter the skin color.


Details | Couplet | |

Locked Inside

I needed a way to release from inside,
All of the tears that I never cried,

My head was exploding from all I kept in,
While onto my face I glued a fake grin;

I hid inside my suspicion and fears,
And locked them away for many years;

They built up a wall and trapped me within,
Until I didn’t even know where to begin;

I had every emotion locked in my heart,
So I started to write, I made it my art.


Details | Sonnet | |

Another Sonnet Written at a Coffee House

You sink into the bosom of the chair 
And wonder if I too once sat amidst 
The chattering, white coffee sipping fare— 
The lonely writers ‘pining for a kiss. 

Did I peer out over the porce’lain mug 
And purse my vulgar mouth over the lip 
My eyes a’roll behind my glasses’ fog 
My writer turning phrase and spinning quips? 

Did I curl my toes under my feet 
Threading my fingers ‘round the scolding cup 
My yellow molars grinding to the beat 
Of meds-a-glee and glutt’nous caffeine ups? 

No— 
I didn't’t sit cross-legged and introverted— 
I flipped through glossy pages and consorted.


Details | Alliteration | |

One Among Many part 2

I live in a place striving for sobriety surrounded in alcohol looking for happiness trapped among our very own sadness. I hear my people’s laughs and I hear my people’s cries, but most of all I see their dreams because their dreams are my dreams because we remain not against each other today as enemies but hidden friends united through culture, language and blood. I laugh with my people and of course I cry with my people and I fight with my people but most of all I continue to dream with my people. I know who I am and where I am from to know where I been to still hope to where I am going to go. I feel darkness engulf not only myself but also almost my entire reservation’s race, no matter mixed or not because soon our culture and language will have no face without any more light to shine upon it. I know where I lived and still live to know if I will truly go where I truly want to go in life before I have my one walk with death. I know by a long shot that I am not the best but by a close hit on the reservation’s target I could be better. 
I take a stand against self to stand against others to better a worsening crowd of many young lost indigenous souls waiting to be unknowingly found and waiting for something similar to what I’m about to write. I take a stand for self so that others know that we aren’t all lost and we can and will be found with the true hope of no one’s but your own. I take a stand because my brothers and sisters wont, I take a stand because now days most the people around me or within me can’t or don’t know how, I take a stand for the children who don’t have a father and mother as I once had, I take a stand for my unborn child almost here, I take a stand for courage because within me is filled with fear, I take a stand against because the alcohol and drugs within me now I just can’t stand, I take a stand for those around me who cannot stand, I take a stand for a culture dying on its knee’s trying to get back up, I take a stand for the forsaken yet to be forgiven self-stand.
 I patiently wait, lying away in the darkness searching for light even though I can see the light I just don’t know how to get on thy path to the light. I am not alone, I know for a fact that I am not alone in my thoughts and feelings about life on earth here. I can see our pain, I can hear the hollers and screams, I can feel your anguish and I can smell our destruction. I walk through the reservation valley of darkness as if I am but a blind witness to our own destruction upon where many of us go unknown truly forever in depths of time, in the depths of death.
 I know that I cannot give in or give up on a dream of a people’s dream where the buffalo in our young hearts and minds may roam around free and where the wolf warrior chief may rise above all odds and become thy greatest modern day warrior, the people seek him, the people crave him, the people need him, the people need someone to rise if not geographically the worldwide mentally.


Details | Concrete | |

Contradicted Convict Finds Concept

I used 2 think I know what I wanted out of my confused soul/
I want not what I have ,I want what I never had/
I want my time 2 stop, yet it still continues 2 go/
I strive 2 be good but almost always end up in the bad/
Livin in this American Struggle I was once happy, now seems like Im forever sad/
Im a man of values and peace but find myself in corruptness and fights/
In prison I had many dark days and very few bright nights/
No matter how wrong I was I am still 100% right/
Im searchin for inner peace but find myself so self-conflicted/
I want this but rather have that, Im so self-contradicted/
I find my heart fightin lovely thingz my soul so badly hated/
I want 2 be normal but find my talents by so many overrated/
I find it so easy 2 forsake that I rarely myself ever forgive/
My mind wants 2 die while my heart still wants to live/ 
I want to be recognized that I go unnoticed and lose track of the real me/
So I came 2 a concept of appreciating the fact that Im now free/ 
Now I just want to kick back an be me....


Details | Free verse | |

Inspiration: our Daily Bread of Life

Inspiration is all around me.  It swirles in the midst of darkness and deceit.  
Blinded by dry tears...the deliverers of this blessed word find me when I know not what to look for or where...
I and my kind walk in circles looking for and end to pain, deceit, betrayal, unlove, uncareing.  We are looking...but not invane.  

When the circles we walk in seem endless take heart and know that it is not a downward spiral...  Keep looking and you will see...  
     (C)....Catherine Buchner    2012
















Details | Free verse | |

The Drought of Word

I am empty; nothing have I now to say. 
The stream of my soul from where sentiment once flowed; now runs dry.
An unexplained drought of words I know not why.
I am in desperate need of showers of inspiration and illumination.
A thousand words I would pray; for this drought to end and once 
again take up my pen.
 Alas, my pen no longer speaks, but in silence now offends. 
 Writer's ink disappears upon a white bleached page;
the quill has nothing to lend.
 It is as though a fire shut up in my bones; a burning heat within.
My heart aches for a single drop of brilliance
as I seek for something to say, and earnestly pray for inspirational rain.
For streams of refreshing I long, OH, that the heavens would open and return 
my poetic song.


Details | I do not know? | |

Light child

A child is born
all loving, forgiving, honest,
a special child of the light,
eyes wide open, awake,
the wolves are happy,
to feast at the table of its suffering.
Feed it just enough love to survive,
milk it of its light, little by little
suckling its love, its forgiveness,
a sweet delicacy for a vampiric world.

The child becomes a young adult...
control, conformity, submission,
overwhelming expectations,
no freedom, no love, no peace,
a barrage of others suffering,
cant get it off me, out of my head!
out of my heart, it hurts!
Its all too much! 
Why do they all hurt me?
Why are they not honest like me?
How can they be so mean to me?
What is wrong with me?
I just want a taste of love, 
to remind me why I am alive!!





Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Free verse | |

HIT ME


HIT ME ONCE YOU'LL HIT ME TWICE:
THIS MENTALITY WAS DISCOVERED ON DATE 
NUMBER TWO ATTEMPTING TO HIDE BEHIND
YOUR WORDS OF FLATTERY LAYING A SNEAR
FOR MY FEET AND THE BEAUTIFUL WORDS
OF POETRY........
YOU TRIED TO INTOXICATE ME WITH THE IMAGRY
OF WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE YOU AND I OPERATINING
IN MINISTRY

HIT ME ONCE YOU'LL HIT ME TWICE: YOU ALLOWED
THAT UNCONTROLLABLE BEAST TO PUNCH ME
HERE AND PUNCH ME THERE  YOU DID NOT CARE
DISPLACEMENT ANGER FLYING EVERYWHERE

HIT ME ONCE HIT ME TWICE:I RECOGNIZED THE WARNING
SIGNS OF POTENTIAL DOMESTIC ABUSE ENCOURAGING
YOU TO UTILIZE COPING SKILLS NOT FOR THRILLS BUT
TO HEAL THE INTRICATE PIECES OF YOUR MIND
THAT STRUGGLE TO FUNCTION DUE TO TRAUMA AND
ABUSE FROM THE MULTI-DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS

HIT ME ONCE YOU'LL HIT ME TWICE:EXHIBITING SIGNS OF
BIPOLAR DISORDER BORDER LINE SCHIZOPHRENIA
TEMPORARY INSANE YOU'VE CAUSED ME SOO MUCH PAIN

HIT ME ONCE YOU'LL HIT ME TWICE:WALKING ON 
EGGSHELL IM TIRED OF THIS HELL WELL I MUST
TERMINATE THIS UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP........
PLEASE GET SOME HELP

HIT ME ONCE YOU'LL HIT ME TWICE STOP MAKING
EXCUSES FOR THE ABUSES OF THOSE YOU'VE
PSYCHOLOGICALLY INFLICTED......

HIT ME ONCE YOU'LL HIT ME TWICE:EMOTIONAL
MENTAL AND PHYSICAL PAIN MUST BE DEPLETED
OF IT'S NEGATIVE ENERGIES......

HIT ME ONCE YOU'LL HIT ME TWICE:
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MUST END.....

PLEASE DON'T HIT ME................ 


Details | Narrative | |

Will to Live


I look ahead to the ends promised in my mind
But always reality clouds my eyes with the peppers of life
Sometimes I make hasty progress
Only a few steps ahead to be forced more steps to regress

Sometimes my hope gets a boost from a fine line I read off a book
But as soon as I lay down the book 
The reality of a stool beneath my foot
Makes me anticipate the pain of the noose

Still I have a will and I know that soon I will
On the back of the winged unicorn of my dreams 
...I will soar free
This reality is for the benefit of my dreams
On its harsh grindstones I will sharpen my will to live


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Diamond Toes

When life seems empty
And there’s no place to go
Unlike most artists I became Salvador Dali
 My Life daily tasks as a poet
It’s allow my spirit to go from high to low


 With my blessed hands and my tired feet 
  a hard working peasant woman with diamond toes
  I set the countdown each passing day while I slave away.

Those Infectious bole place in high positions,
 Governor of all the Nurses
Using their authorities to weaken the spirits of the peasant
And the down trodden souls who line your corridors both day and night

 however, this  burden that seem too heavy to bear now....(bibilical
God will lifts away on the wing of prayers.


Details | Free verse | |

Words No One Hears

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

~JSLambert


Details | ABC | |

MidNight Wishes

Even though i did not hear your voice tonight i'm still ahit,
I will go on like this for ever, i wont go out without a fight. 
I'll fight till the end of this life to win your heart,
All you have to do is tell me when to start.

The music blarrin in my head phones at 1:52 AM and i'm lovin it, 
cause it helps me remember your gorgeous smile like it was meant to fit. 
Wanting to feel your touch and kisses all over me ignites the fire in me,
Wanting to take you by your hand and run wild in a big sea. 

There aint much i can say to express myself but this will have to do for tonight,
I think its just that i haven't reached height.
You no I love you and that's all that matters or will ever matter to me,
I will love you till i die, like I told you before, cant you see? 
 


Details | Free verse | |

Dickhead

“Dickhead”

There is a saddened kind of shame
a name that’s cruel and thus demeans, 
elementary obscene
a child can not reach deep enough.

It started when I read above 
my third grade level reading group
and followed to my brownie troop
then fearful fighting, flight to home.

And in defense I’d use my gift
to make up names and write mean songs-
I’d teach the boys to sing along
and charge their chocolate milk money.

With my moustache a poor disguise, 
with puffy, rubbing, teary eyes
I made myself apologize
though only choking squeaks were heard. 

Nicoleslaw Dickhead was my name
a name that’s cruel and thus demeans,
slimy side-dish dung for brains-
a child can not reach deep enough.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Being Treated Like Trash

Every day, some people have always been treated like trash, especially by their tormentors. It's always been like that since the day they met or whatever. And come to think that he or she is way better that the other makes every individual sick to their stomachs. The fact that day in and day out, he and/or she is still treating each other like garbage, especially because of either a disability, a religious background, or any of that stuff. The only reason why the victims will have put up with those bullies is because of their parents and/or his or her so-called "friends." One person being verbally abusive to another is one bad thing, but treating him or her like a piece of trash is as troubling and hurtful as being abusive to one another physically, mentally, or verbally. It makes these people sick just thinking about it, even their parents. And no matter what those hard-working people do, no matter how hard they try, they're still being treated like trash by these so-called "big shots" who are way better than them. It seems to the ones who are way better than the others are so ungrateful, especially when these people have known them for years to come. On top of all that, people like his so-called "girlfriend," people like her so-called "boyfriend," and people like his or her so-called "friends" will have the audacity to disrespect each other. And no matter that day in and day out, these people don't even have the guts to stand up to their tormentors, including the ones who are way bigger and better than other. No one should be treated like trash and quite frankly, these people are sick and tired of it. Why can't some people start treating the others right instead of treating them like dirt and who are those bullies to pass judgment on them? Right now, I wish that these bad people were to stop being self-centered, stop treating these people like trash and to stop being arrogant. And if those tormentors continue to treat them like pieces of useless garbage, that's going to be a problem. Something must be done right now.


Details | Epic | |

Sinful Saint

Yeah I walk around life waitng for death/ 
I live in constant despair looking to be blessed/ 
Lies over truth around here always seem to infect/ 
The more sin I get in life the more saintly I seems less/ 
Im trapped in same dark place ;looking for a lighter quest 
I try and live a life full of goodness still trapped in badness I am yet to confess/
 I try and hold onto what seems like something but theres nothing really but family left/
 I know I am not he best, nor am I like the rest/ 
I know I can master checkers but still downed in chess/. 
I got to clean up my act because my life is a mess/ 

I patiently sit back while I ponder life for death and I wait/ 
I might as well look for something simple because I never find nothing great/ 
I struggle to stay under love and over my own hate/ 
I try and be real with others when to my own self I stay fake/ 
I feel life obstacles jolt my ambition like a chain that never breaks/ 
I want less more in life yet as a daily sinner I continue to both physically and mentally take/
 I try and change my dark ways but still struggle at the fact that it might be too late/
 I usaully catch myself complaining when infact I should be thankful for whats on my plate/
 I usually hang onto the past and get scared of the future when I should worry about today/
 I going to be that better man for my child because that sinner no longer in my heart I aint/
 Sometimes in life we all struggle until we strive, but until then Im trapped between a young lost SINFUL SAINT........


Details | Acrostic | |

A Soul Called Soul

I’m trapped in the American struggle/ 
Surrounded in the alcoholic drug addicted jungle/ 
In my soul called soul I seem to unknowingly look for trouble/ 
Yeah am I the only one to truly see our invisible chaotic bubble? / 
Am I the only one to truly live in while I realize the hidden pains in our own ghetto living rubble? /
 I see in what I still saw of the pains at the same time I hear the alcoholic mumbles/
 Like a burnt cracker over a uncooked cookie I still see the culture crumble/ 
I see the staggering, I see the swerving and I see thy own stumbles/ 
Still yet I am crawling out the dirt like an ant spreading my wings in the sky like the bees bumble/
 It’s when I knew I was a soul called soul/ 
In my soul called soul I am in the super bowl/ 
Seven hundred seventy-seven now I can’t let thy football fumble/ 
I am not going to let thy ring leader lead me in the circus no more, I am no longer an elephant Dumbo/ I’m here to stay not to go/ I been down that same road too many times before/
 I know what it’s like at the bottom, I hit it straight rock ,yeah I been that low/
 now pains of my life I outgrow/it’s when I knew I was a soul called soul 
In my soul called soul/ I hang on not to my enemies nor my friends but my own inner foes/
 I got no true friends, I got no true bros/ I got no true women, I got no hoes/ 
I don’t even know if I will even make it to be thirty-four/ 
I worry about alcoholic danger in the hood every time I walk out my front door/ 
I thank God I’m not rich and thank him for the experience of being dirt poor/ 
I thank him for the fact that I no longer have to steal from the local store/ 
I thank him for the simple fact that I can do simple everyday chores/ 
I remember a time when I was in a prison cell where even death itself felt like a bore/
 until one day something great pick me up off the prison floor……..that was a time when I know I was a soul called SOUL/
 I know my truck of life was ready to take it’s damage when it can still pull its own toll/
 I knew my boat of life was ready to go against high winds with a broken bow/ 
I knew I was ready when I can go against waves 100 feet high go under and still row/
 if not then I make the surf board roll/ The storms comes like shadow hidden in the skies undergrowth/ I’m not only floating I’m also flying through them both/
 I am no longer empty with darkness I am filled with light shone/ 
I am no longer alone, I am force of many through word flow/ 
I am a prophet among my own/ words put together like no other only I condone/ 
I say it in a unique tone/ 
I’m going to make it past the internet and cell phones/ 
I am the one, I am by a higher power chose/ 
These problems in life I will outgrow/ 
I will overcome being just another SOUL CALLED SOUL….


Details | Free verse | |

The Same Reservation Road

I walk through the reservation valley of alcoholic death/ 
I fear no darkness among my own for the light breathes life on its own through my every breath/ I can no longer fit in for I need to stand out above the rest/
 I can no longer follow, I got to be the host of my own because Im tired of being the guest/
 
I want to be the writer I dont want to be the reader/ 
I want to be the artist with the brush, I want to create I want to finally be my own leader/
 I want to be able to follow society's rules because I am tired of being a cheater/
 I want to be the supplier because Im tired of being the seeker/ 

I guess life is what I make it/ Forgive less as much as I still continue to forsake it/
 My life is just a jolt but at times I feel death shake it/ Grab my emotions by the reins and straight earthquake it/ I try and fix my problems until someone comes by and breaks it/
 but this is my time because Im still young so this young opportunity in life I must Take it.
 
I got to hold my head held high from being low/ 
I got to stay lost until I find my own being my purpose of another young lost soul/
 I cannot stop because Im too tired of staying stuck I must stay on go/ 
This my life now I know it my story waiting to be patiently told/ 
This my life now I got to let it un fold/ Let it slowly but surely grow/ 
Im just a hidden bomb waiting for my poetry to blow/ 
EVERYTHING I DID OR DO IN LIFE NOW IS SOMETHING I CHOSE? 
I GOTTA CHANGE BECAUSE I JUST CANT KEEP WALKING THE SAME RESERVATION ROAD.


Details | I do not know? | |

Passion Fruit Juice

where oh where does my passion lay? in a shoebox, under the staircase? i’ve been looking all day, i’m getting too tired to play. i guess it’s better off this way, to be missing eternally, than to have been found and broken, a curse that bounds when spoken, these days i hardly mention your name. most dreams are fairytales, i need to pretend if i want to achieve. i’m numb, like i’ve had a lobotomy. i am living in honesty or i am not living at all, my passions been pressed into the page - transformed from a natural beauty into something useful.


Details | Blank verse | |

Lost Poet

Life as a lonely lost poet bred from dark cracks 
Lost soul living plain and simple among the people black and white 
Drug along with alcoholic among us distracts 
Lost values and principles around one many continue to lack 
Everyday simple facts, its like breathing through plastic sacks 
Slowly suffercating until the brain goes wack 
Once death comes my way I must keep it part of my past 
Aint no way God going to bring my little brother back 
I guess its a curse upon all those of us living like outlaw of an outcast 
How the **** will I ever truly outlast until I heal and break out my cast 
God cant you see Im tired of wearing this permanent mask 
I know my poetry has hidden answers if I look and read closer so I shouldnt have to ask
 Staying lost is a choice in the open road with no gas 
So as a lost poet through hardships now and in the future I will outgrow it 
The devil trying to get my soul and behold it 
but I know only this one man controls it 
Its too priceless for even my own greed to have sold it 
So as a lost poet I will climber higher than high if not then right below it 
Found in a world of lies with few truths as but another lost poet


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Epic | |

I Have No Girlfriend

A girl of my choice is way too hard to find. Every time I see an attractive girl, I keep finding out that she already has a boyfriend or is happily married to her husband and has children with the guy. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. It seems that I'm trying way too hard. Maybe I'm looking too hard for this special someone. It also seems that I'm not good enough for any of the girls of my choice, let alone one girl who's about my age. Now that all of the good, attractive ones have been taken by random guys, I'm reduced to nothing. I should've met those girls by choice sooner rather than later. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, and no matter how many times I have to reach out to those girls from my past or whatever, I couldn't give her some St. Valentine's Day presents, let alone red roses, I couldn't ask her out on a date, I'm barely dealing with the fact that these girls each have boyfriends or happily married, and I've been rejected one too many times. I should be in a serious relationship with a girl of my choice and trust, I shouldn't spend Saturday nights in total boredom. But the fact that one of the girls I was interested in is with a guy who's way more attractive than I am makes me very sick. And no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, it's just not enough for any of them. And since I have no girlfriend of my choice, even one of them outside my race, I'm forced to spend the rest of my life in solitude alone; thereby remaining in a real, depressive state. And every time I see a loving couple, it makes me depressed and they shove it right in my face. It's like someone had taken a butcher knife, plunged in in my chest, and yanked my heart out, killing me in an instant. I can't bear to handle this type of rejection. Well, I might as well die a virgin because there's just no point of me dealing with the fact that these girls are either happily married or already in multiple serious relationships with their current boyfriends. Being lonely and depressed and not having a female companion of my choice to talk to on a Saturday night is sad, and it's definitely pathetic. How legitimately disappointing. If I don't find me a girlfriend of my choice and I don't get married on time before my 25th or 30th birthday, I'm going to die a virgin. When will all of the rejection and the torment end? When will I stop being lonely and depressed? When will I ever learn?


Details | Free verse | |

A Silent Invocation -from bruished heart


Your separation has broken my morale,
Remained incomplete, I was writing a tale.
I wanted to write an epic,
With the ink of your love that I couldn’t seek.

Your dreams were my nightmare,
In lonely that pain I couldn’t bear.
Without you I was burning inside,
Take my writhe for you away on a ride.

Now I don’t want to live life with you,
Don’t send your memories even in few.
They are dagger on my rest and loneliness,
Now I will learn to live in the emptiness.

I had loosen my own identity,
To give you more importance than myself.
But, now I will live for me and for whom who cares for me,
You are no more there in my heart, it seems to me.

(writer makes difference)


Details | Chant Royal | |

Back In Denial

Yeah Im feeling a lil too native tonight like Im on da rez like a youngster drunk and suicidal
 Poppin pills like Im poppin at my own people like they my culturalistic rivals 
I'm dying slowly like my culture yet Im still reading the about God and the Holy Bible
 I almost died not once but twice thats why I strive for survival 
Im a lil mad at God ever since he took my lil brother but I shall get over it in a lil while
 Im more greatful ever since he gave back life with my first child 
Living life up to this point in my life has now been worth the while 
time ticking away everyday on da rez like the sun dial 
so no time to waste any longer in this tribulation of another life to death trial
 I shall bring back all my lost long life culture files 
I am like a new trend people Im litterally making my own clothes with the Rez Life 7 style
 I shall overcome bull*****even if at times it gets me a lil riled 
Breaking through hangovers like out the stomach comes last nights bile 
Im litterally building onto whats left in my trash pile 
I aint going to stop until I have my legs crushed during the last mile 
I hit jumps in my car through life as it idles 
This is just but another life lived in gratitude I cant lie though 
It shouldnt matter too much in the end because I will be high Bro 
Insanely flying in the sky like an acrobatic physco 
Shooting through leather problems like a twelve gauge rifle 
so much it makes my own heart with a quick fix stifle 
Im gonna make it through my haters doubts with a quick glance as I smile 
I will bring back hope not to theirs or yours but my own before I end up back in denial


Details | Lyric | |

Blood-Drenched Paper

Wordless and pitiful, this fool can’t deny
The emptiness hollowed out deep in my mind
Nothing will redeem these broken thoughts
And nothingness is all I have, I’m so damn lost

I can’t remember how to sleep anymore
I can not recall the taste of oxygen or law
Only the blood that was spilled from my mouth
As I choked upon the words that threw me down

How am I still living without my heart?
How is it that I can stand when I fell apart?
Truth is that I am gone, deep in the dirt
A place where I can not think; where I’m safe from hurt

I can’t recall a way to speak anything
That does not remind me of every single thing
The dry blood across my skin will not be washed away
And whatever else I try to hide has stained all I say

Collapsing into a mess upon the kitchen floor
Fearing to even walk out of my bedroom door
The sun burns away every place I can cry
And the moon delivers another thousand lies

How can I ever hope to breathe and sleep again
When every single breath I take turns dreams into pain?
The stains of blood are punishment for all that I said
And nothingness has carved your face deep within my head

Wordless and pitiful, the things I will write
The deepening eternity of every lonely night
The broken thoughts accompany a song that always plays
I’ve lost you forever, but this music will remain


Details | ABC | |

Dear Lord (by kimmy holmes my daughter)

Dear Lord 
please receive me
i've been stumblin around
deceivin me
i wan't heaven now
how do I get that?
do I stop eatin meat
stop being me
How do I get to Heaven?
I NEEDS my mama
I need my Sons
My SUNS
I'm lyin
dyin
before everyones eyes


Details | Lyric | |

ELOPE

I didn't know
where inspiration went
nor why it absconded!
My desire to write
eloped with my imaginative drive.

A choking crowd,
ideas stayed locked
in my small head
and I didn't know 
how to ease them out.


Details | Blank verse | |

Standing in the Darkness yet again

Once again trapped in the darkness with worded guns still trapped, 
Im just trying to make a statement that will make it on this American map, 
Im getting old as I only live this youth once so I best live it searching for light in darkness of black,
 Years gone by a lost youth going away time lost that I wont ever get back, 
So it best I get back on the track......... 
Now iz a tyme for flames hope I spark this, 
Poetry like mine many will come from places near and far and embark in this, 
I will literally be the found ancient lost seen lockness..... 
Lord please guide this soul as I am standing in the darkness......yet again....


Details | Blank verse | |

Solitarily Writing

Writing in the dark.
Thinking as I fall asleep,
Imagining how it could all be.

Writing in the daylight.
Contemplating my identity.
Picturing all of whom is me.

Writing in these empty diaries.
Feeling my emotionality.
Reflecting how it all is for me.

Writing in these pages.
Wondering about things too many.


Details | I do not know? | |

Non Catholic religions

You think Christ is not hurt
With loving what you thought is Christ
Loving Christ is being in His true Church
In Catholic or Roman Catholic you are not condemned but saved

In His Church
Ask R.C.I.A.
Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults
Is like a college Religion class

You will learn the truth
In other man-made religion bible are lies
What you’re reading is really the true Church
Not your own

It’s like a blind
Leading another blind
They would both fall in hell of fire
It is not the minister’s fault

Your own, rather take them with you
Both of you learn the truth
For every man they can be a deacon
Bishop and Priest are not with a wife

For Jesus Christ is a High Priest
Great Prophet
Only Son of the most High
The Redeemer

In RCIA, you will receive 3 important Sacraments
Baptism
Confirmation and
Holy Eucharist or the Body of Christ

We want God to be pleased with us
Eternal Father told the people 
To Listen only to the Messiah and
The One I sent

What are these Christ like churches?
Non Catholic churches?
People in there are already condemned
Being in Catholic or Roman Catholic, you are saved


Details | Blank verse | |

A Thin Smile

I sat down to write a happy song
But the words won't come
And neither will the tears.


Details | Sonnet | |

Sonnet 15

As technology has progressed , bound leaps ,
within the nanny state , Man simply sleeps .
Replaced Automatic ; Manual Labour.
Solved by Machine mind's , Binary No more .
For synthetic constructs for your whim , creeps
pumping cheese-its into bulging wheeze heaps.

So keep That lard thru blood , spotless , can ignore
such irritations as ; Clearing the floor .

While Digital duty serves ; watch those beeps 
streaming 24/7 fiction keeps
sake in sight , forms pixel ; away those flaws 
by Avatar's dream , away life's true claws.

While around , leashed , the world quietly leaps ,
Attended by metal hands ; Left
	Man Sleeps....


Details | Romanticism | |

Written words

Words swirl around in my head
I starts and until I write them down
They just won’t end
Writing my words on paper
For people to find significance within them
These words are very real to me 
The emotions are far from being pretend
Some say you looked right into my heart
You’ve seen my soul
You read my mind
Just how did you know
You pinned my feelings to a tee
How again could you see
Everything within me
Here’s you answer as to why
The words that I write are my pain
I’ve seen you, yet not knowing you, through my own eyes
Just because we are different, don’t mean we are still not the same
Emotions are universal
They make the world go round
The silent cries of screams
Quiet is my sound
To often of times
The struggle leaves one
Lying on the ground
The hurt so heart wrenching
And so very real
Time is never ending
Life is what the pain will steal
So breathtakingly helpless 
Is what you will feel
Heartbreakingly hopeless
Devastatingly you just can’t seem to heal
So yeah,
I write my words of hurt and pain
On the pages of paper to share with you
Many will relate and they often feel the same
At some point of time
I do hope you find some sort of comfort here
Within my lines of worded rhyme
Perhaps they will help your heart and soul to let go and heal
Cause while they do help me get by
Most times they don’t really help mine


Details | I do not know? | |

Willow Tree

Who do you feel like today?
Do you even remember my name? 
 It's been 8 years since then,
Has the willow tree we sat under gone dead?

 I wonder if you've changed,
if you regret your biggest mistake.
 Do you feel the sorrow i feel?
Is this pain the only thing that feels real?

 I feel no sorrow now,
I only feel hatered for the world somehow,
 How could you rape your granddaughters?
And Forget your own son, My father?!

 How could you do this to me?
The only way how i feel now is to bleed.
 I put no effort, no feeling, no thought,
In the war, 
 This battle in my heart
 
 How do you feel like today?
Is it easier to know that your safe?
 Outta jail they let you out,
Why so you can pay your road to hell?

 So i plant me a willow tree,
right above the grass,
 below the leaves.

 I lay here below this willow tree,
My only friend beside of me,
 The memories still remain, 
Alone,
 But it's better off this way


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Enough Is Enough

No matter what he or she does, no matter how hard he or she does, it's not good enough for the others. These people who've been trying way too hard to impress other people have been treated like trash since ever. The only thing that other people are good at is being way better than the others. And the fact that day in and day out, week after week, for the past few years, people like their so-called "boyfriends" and their so-called "girlfriends," people like his or her so-called "best friends" had the audacity to disrespect this guy or girl. It's just like when these people have been seriously rejected by their so-called "attractive peers" after they asked them out on dates or get together someday and because of the way they looked. The moment these people have forgotten about the others, it had finally dawned on them. It seems that these people never really wanted to be friend with each other or go out on dates in the near future, anyway.  And come to think of it, It's not enough for them. Some people are just completely ungrateful. After everything these people have done for each other, like ask them out on dates and/or offering them real friendships, it's like they've accomplished nothing. Even breaking their backs for each other, it's still not enough. And this type of rejection is making everybody sick, even me. Well, no more of being rejected. No more of being treated like trash. And no more being stepped on and pushed around. This type of rejection has got to stop. So as of right now, this ends right now! Enough is enough, and it's time for a real change!


Details | Blank verse | |

Writing Shall Pull Me Through

Writing shall pull me through, as I worry for this amity between me and you. 
Writing shall pull me through, as I cry about not knowing what to do. 
Writing shall pull me through, as I die within until my life is dead too. 
Writing shall pull me through, as I sigh in this room thinking of you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Why I Enjoy Writing Poems



Why I Enjoy Writing Poems... I often have a thought or two on my mind. And have written them in the expression of a rhyme. I’ve tried to write as I feel God has led. And try to do it in love, in what's written & said. At times, I “have stepped on people's toes.” This is not my intention— God really knows. If you've read a poem that I wrote. I hope you were encouraged with hope There’s a message that I pray comes across... "With Christ... all is not lost!" I’ve tried to write poems from my spirit. As an expression of how I live it. The words written are from my heart to you May they be a blessing in whatever you do! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Finality, And Beyond

Finality, And Beyond The person who wrote this book is dead Though he never really lived Beyond the written and the read And every word WAS a lie I think I knew him once I think I knew him well I think he killed himself But he didn’t go to hell He was delivered from it And he thought that he could tell Everyone to be okay But it didn’t sell So he decided, without change He could no longer dwell Around the ones that he loved And bid them fare-thee-well The person who wrote this book was never alive Though he’s not really dead The road of life has been along for the drive As he stares over the wheel with a foot made of lead


Details | Blank verse | |

Breaking Down Our Culture

Slowly one’s life like my rich ancient culture slowly breaks down/ 
All parts of my traditional sculpture peace taken down/
 I’m a twenty-first century reservation war camp inmate I don’t know why I keep getting the shake down/
 I was once filled with change until I experienced the greed and money of the American influenced reservation hate now/
 Life young was once but no longer great now/ 
I wanted to at least finish school or college or get a real job but it seems like it’s almost too late now/
 With certainty I’m going to leave my hood but now people are telling me to stay now/ Jail keeps getting me but prison is not too far away to stay out/
 Life’s road is to uncertainty is paved out/
 Before me a path righteousness of opportunity laid out/
 Like fast food , I’m surely on my way out/ Life’s ready for me now I better take out/ 
Fresh ready for a dip in the ocean’s lake out/ 
I’m mustn’t give in no more because where I’m from has taught me to make it a must that I take now/
 Dreams are made every day but more often than not dreams continue to break now/
 Life is a piece of steak it’s no longer a cake now/
 Leaves scattered throughout my life I better grab the rake now/
 I better hold my own because I know my soul called friends but especially family can still betray now/ 
This is my life, this is my destiny, this is my fate now/ 
I got to be more real with my life I got to stop trying to be fake now/
 Because In the end where I’m from it all slowly like my culture, like my life around here ……its breaking down.


Details | Free verse | |

GIVE ME

I want to make sure I’m not falling on my face...
And I`m willing to go the distance
And I want to bring back good memories...
I want to make sure
You`re safe and you`re in a safe place

But GIVE ME some space
Sometimes, I wake up...feeling so distressed
But GIVE ME your sweet grace
And we'll beat the race...and this pain we share will not be addressed

I don't want to be unsure - am I the one losing the race?
And I'm chilling in this heavenly place
And I need to trade you my apologies…
I don’t want to waste your time
You’re absolutely safe…as long as you keep pace 


Details | Free verse | |

Welcome To The Darkness

Welcome To The Darkness

Why do people want me to live in the light?
There is too much fake happiness
Too much lying to keep things happy
The darkness is honest
There are demons and monsters
They lurk at every corner
My thoughts are out in the open
I may want to die
Killed by my own hand
Maybe get gushing wounds from razor sharp teeth
But I will know that the decision will be mine
No one to tell me everything will be alright
I know and you know that it will never be good
There is nothing but pain and blood
You would never tell me about that
I had to find out on my own
I have had to learn to ignore your promises
You can keep the light and shove it
I will live in my world
I know the shadows
I know what is hiding in the unlit crevasses
When I do die by my own hand
My spirit will haunt you
Tormenting you for writing your light poems
You will learn that the world is not flowers and puppies
You will see that the truth is fire and brimstone
You will see my eternal Hell
And I will just smile and wave as I welcome you
And I will say I told you so as the dark envelops you
Welcome to my life
My ideas
My truth


Details | Rhyme | |

Dawn of Misfortune

You’re the dawn of despair and gloominess
You’re the sunset that discards my gladness
You deceived me…you made me trek the road of calamity
You grieve for me…you yearn for my sympathy… but I overlook your pity

Horror strikes me, scorching away my destiny
My confidence has slowly departed from me…so what should I do?
Terror swallows me alive, now I’m begging to flee!
My self-reliance has disregarded and fled from thee…now I’m crammed with woe

Digest the emptiness that I feel deep inside
Heed to what I’m about to announce to you…
Digest the affliction that I brushed aside
Hear what I’m about to warn you about…it’s all true

You deserted me…melt the isolation that has filled us with woe
You brainwashed me…you tarnished my bliss
You captivated me…now I have nowhere to go
You terrorized me…you singed up my happiness



You’re the dawn of anguish and shame
You’re the midnight stars that burn with fame
You betrayed me…you made me cut down my garden…shedding fertility
You mourn for me…you long for my forgiveness… so I’m ready to accept your plea
What is the code that will animate your presence?
What is the code that will liquefy the ice of silence?


Details | Free verse | |

Mixed Feelings

You wanna know why I read?
I read because books are my escape.
I read because the friends I have in books are so much truer than the friends I have in real life.
I read because in books I am as breathtakingly beautiful as the heroine in the story and not a one-hundred-thirty-three pound white girl with a black girl’s ass. 
I read because the stories are either so good, I can try to wish myself into them
Or they’re so horrid they make my life look like a fairytale.
You wanna know why I read?
I read because the parents in books don’t yell at me for failing a test that I stayed up until 1 in the morning studying for
Or tell me I’m getting cellulite when its clear that I already hate the way I look.
I read because the little brothers and little sisters in books are adorably hilarious where mine are annoyingly bothersome.
I read because when my nose is in a good book, my mind is where that book is, not in the reality that is my life.
I read because the boys in books are more kind to me than the boys in my classes at school.
You wanna know why I read?
I read because I love to read.
But you wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because reading is shameful in the world I live in.
I don’t read because reading is something tedious, a chore you do simply to make the grade in English.
I don’t read because the stories in books remind me just how much my life sucks.
You wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because every page I turn is another homework assignment not turned in, another failing grade to show my parents.
I don’t read because every time I read I want a snack to munch on, and every time that snack is a chocolate bar I think to myself “You fat, ugly girl, you don’t need that chocolate, you know what they say: a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips.”
I don’t read because what boy wants a girl whose prince charming is not ever going to show up on her front porch with a dozen roses and a devastatingly handsome smile?
You wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because every time I finish a book that was a new obsession, I have to find one just like it and there never is one.
I don’t read because when the hero dies, so does a piece of my heart.
I don’t read because every book I read just reminds me that I’m the freak brainiac of my class, and that’s all anyone sees when they look at me.
I don’t read because the perfect characters in books make me hate my imperfect self.
I don’t read because I hate to read.


Details | Couplet | |

The Monster

The monster became a living, walking nightmare
my dive into insanity, no longer perfect, containing a blank stare

I should resist, the monster will find me, run away with me
Pretend to hear my meager complaints, force me to see what I'm afraid to see

Blame and guilt, volleying right and left, up and down
It's crashing me closer, with every step, I'm falling to the ground

It's all a game, just play along, play the game, play it well
Brimming confidence, dissolved in thoughts, of what? I won’t tell

Demons, devil born souls, run quick, run fast, stand my ground
No sense of fear, n sense of foreboding, not even a slight sound

High speed, pursuit of hell, bent on going, bent on crashing
Giving into the power, life's faster, lights flashing

Crash and torment me again, my eyes close after all
The beginning of the end for me, feeling numb after the fall

Is there a way out? I'm different, distant and moved on
Listen to the water, calling, coaxing into death, I'm gone

Endless, empty cloud; dreamless oblivion; oxygen, exhalation
Am I dead? Still alive? Broken into pieces, I need motivation

Reality closes in, walls me in; until there’s nothing there
Death comes behind me, containing a blank stare.


Details | Quatrain | |

This Blind Man Sees

I remembered the day I joined
Paradise it appeared to me
It can still be this way
But only if others can see

I am playing the blind man
I cannot touch, nor I see
As long as everyone is
Who they make out to be

I have trawled many a write
But it's the comments this blind man sees
For out there resides
Someone so different to thee

Many people talk to themselves
Some even answer back
But this blind man is just to clever
For out there, there's one who lacks








http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-14.php


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Heartache After Heartache

It breaks people's hearts just thinking about the following: break-ups, rejection, and, on top of all that, depression. It seems that day in and day out, these people always have to deal with the fact that these people aren’t good enough for each other. This type of sadness has been affecting the lives of every human being since the day their hearts have been broken. What’s so cold about it is that every human being just had to suffer and suffer by the hand of their tormentors and/or being rejected by a bunch of cold, heartless individuals day in an day out. Come to think of it, it’s seriously pathetic for all of us human beings. Now these people know why they had to go through every heartache after heartache after heartache, day and night. It’s sad and it’s seriously pathetic, especially when these people will have wasted their time and energy over unnecessary things or whatever. Sometimes, people can’t even understand what they have to go through every day, especially when they’re depressed and/or tired. Why, those problems, just like multiple break-ups, have caused nothing but a bunch of heartaches, even after day one. And if this type of heartache continues to wreak havoc on all unsuspecting people, there’s no telling what bad thing might happen next.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Poet

It is a fever.

  
The poet

They found the poet outside the park

His steps spoke many words of wine

His upper half seemed half asleep

And his feet walked a crooked line

His arms were spread as if to fly

His lips apart as though to speak

The telltale flush of liquid joy

Told tales of  rum from cheek to cheek

The night herself caroused with him

Drunk on sadness, drunk on care

And drink they drank, the weary lovers

Setting wine against despair

The bonds of reason, broken down

His mind amok, and absent sense

The world in woe, the world in glory

Lay before his presidence

 

And it was then they walked to him

Rudely rousing man from dream

Casting eye on village bard

Taking man as man would seem

"Sing for us again, o bard

Cast your words at senses keen"

This was why they broke his peace

Winters twice his summers seen

"Sing for us again o bard

Spin sweet words from bitter truth

Stir the embers of your heart

Dig through elder years to youth. And

Let the fountain spring with might!!

Showering us with wisdom earned

Showing us the link in hand

Of teachers harsh and lessons learned

Free yourself from wine's embrace!

We would hear a tale or two"

Turns to them, a wizened face

"Ask not man, but what is due."

Graying eyes regard the gathered

Moving on, from face to face

"The world whirls in the hands of time

And yet all things remain in place"

"As yet all men remain the same

The board reset a dozen times

Pi-eces unaltered, so is game

Though rearranged, the given lines

You come to me as bank to debtor

You plague me with unbridled want

Says at last, man to tormentor

'Cease at once your unjust haunt""

It is a fever

"It is not a gift so given

It is not a boon bestowed

Nor is sight beheld as blessing

When the eyes have overflowed

With the sorrows of existence

Pain cavorts with all men born

Know the price of your persistence

Hear the words of man forlorn

What is loss compared to weakness?

What is pain compared to need?

When the soul suffers from sickness

To give blood to those who bleed

O for those suffering in secret

O for hidden scars concealed

Know a secret's mark of secrets

Is in wounds that never healed

The world at large, and I remain

Numb in spirit, numb of mind

My inner coldness feed by pain

Reaped from years left far behind

 

It is a fever that I have

It is an illness I possess

It is a symptom that you worship

It is a sign that you profess

To love, to need, to love to hear

While I remain diseased of soul

You chant and clap then disappear

Then falls to me, each telling's toll

 

It is a sadness that I feel

It is madness that I suffer

When the muses offer gifts

Turn your backs and run for cover

Talent has a price, and paid

This price I have, each passing day

Rise to cup and rise to can

Drink my fill then come what may

All my masters come before me

Warned me of the poet's curse

Know you all of Byron's story

Know you all that Poe's was worse

Happiness is bound to beauty

Joy to all that beauty, see

But for those that birth said beauty

All is pain and tragedy

Listen to my fading voice, now

Listen to my silent plea

Know the doom of every poet

And ask of this, no more from me

I will fellowship with Bacchus

Gimlets of the finest sort

Rise to can and drunken glory

Fall to pleasure and cavort

Now my night bids me return

Wine is all that shields from sorrow

Sets me free from all concern

Trouble enough, will be tomorrow"

His soul unburdened, back unbent

All is caught in a lengthy pause

He turns to go, the air is rent

With sounds of cheer, and of applause

Now lowering balding head to ground

"Man may speak but none may hear

Sing for us again o Bard,

Has now become a thing to fear"


Details | Free verse | |

Another Suffering Poet

When I feel bitter discontentment
I take out my poision pen to immortalize
The ones who have crushed
Me with their 
Gigantic, concrete boulders
Like many before me
Who cried tears
Of overwhelming sadness
Lingering depression 
And infinite lonliness
I have become one with them
For we all possess
The same quality
The need to be set free
Through the expression of 
The thoughts that haunt our minds
We release our agony through our poetic prose
Our words are few
But, they speak volumes
About what lies inside us
For my creativity 
Stems from the intensity
That roams within me
My open wounds
Exposed for all to view
When I compose
A melodic rhyme
It speaks of my angst
Through mystery
Making my reader
Look beyond the face value
Of my syntax
And search for the true meaning
Of which I was attempting to convey
My poetic talents 
Can only bring miniscule relief
From what has been
Creeping up on me
Following me 
My entire life
I hear the clock ticking
The hand is about to strike midnight
The fairytale is over
Time is running out
Like sand passing through the hourglass
I wait for the day
I muster up the courage
To turn on the gas stove
Sticking my head in 
Sylvia Plath style
So I can take my last breath
Ending my melancholic existence forever
For I couldn't escape the curse
Of my literary collegues
That preceded me
Whose lives were filled 
With despair and doom
Who spent their life tormented
By the demons inside their soul
Because I, like them
Couldn't stop feeling the torture
Of my past
When I laid down my pen
And closed my eyes
For I am just another suffering poet
In my grave
Decaying away
After a life wasted


Details | Free verse | |

my favourite path

i see it before me 
i have not stepped towards, nor walked along its direction 
it is clearly there for me to do so 
the decision 
can stray left or right of the way I go 
and all I know 
is that it starts 
before me


Details | Lyric | |

The Other Side

A two pedal flower
growing in a meadow
no one around to watch
the growth of such a wonderful thing

The infinite nature of outer space
A soul left to wander the great world
your first maybe last trip away from home

In the deepest part of my mind
sits the keeper of the world
In the mind of another
sits the darkness we all seek

A shadow which is always with us
We fall on our way to the light
getting further off track
and closer to the darkness

The secret of the womens face on the moon
what does she know that we dont?
the wilderness the other side of the world
i have left to see.

once again i will be one with nature
one with the angels
and one with freedom


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

VOWS

I SEE THE WAY I FEEL INSIDE,
LOCKED AWAY BEHIND ALL MY LIES.
I HEAR THE WORDS BEHIND MY 
BACK, TRUTHFULLY IT'S ACOUSTICALLY
SAD.
WHEN THE CHORDS ARE PLAYED,
THERE'S A MELODIC HAUNTING IN MY MIND!
LOST INSIDE; THE ENDEAVOR IS BLIND.
STAR-GAZING BRINGS THE TUNES TO A 
HIGH, PEOPLE WATCHING TAKES ME TO A 
LOW.
BOXED IN THE WAY I FEEL;
MY PANIC BECOMES MANIC, I JUST
NEED A WAY TO DEAL.
STRAWBERRY GASHES IN PEACH-COLORED
FIELDS, HELPS TO DEFINE HOW IT IS 
AND WHAT I TRULY FEEL.
FORGIVENESS SOUNDS GOUND, BUT 
I KNOW I WON'T FORGET. JUST
LIKE A GREAT POEM OR SONNET THESE
SCARS ARE MY COMMITTMENT.
SO AS I SHALL FADE TO NOTHINGNESS 
NOW; I GIVE YOU THESE WORDS TO
CHERISH - DEATH BECOMES MY WEDDING VOW.


Details | Narrative | |

Beauty and the Unpublished Author


Far away in a little town tucked in the corner of a map
Lives the girl who ruined his heart
And broke his life

While with him she would smile and laugh so sweet
Tender as only she could be
In his heart she lit even the corners so deep

With time she became his definition of life
In all he did he had her in mind
Life wasn’t life without him seeing her smile

As moments grew into weeks
The flower of his heart started to reveal its wilt
In her eyes no longer was the sparkle he was used to seeing

Winds carried awful odour of their disorder
Tales went round of her illicit exploits behind the counter
The man with the shop at the corner savoured all the honey she offered

At first he dismissed the whispers with laughter
But soon he discovered he was the only one on the other side of reality’s border
Yes indeed, another prince had taken over

Trouble was how sincerely he loved her
Problem was that even she had only love to offer
Issue was he hadn’t yet sold a dime of the books he authored


Details | Free verse | |

Parchement

On this parchment
I am forced to write
That of which I cannot speak

On this oh so delicate paper
I am enraptured
by my under lying thoughts

On this meager piece of material
And this once sharp pencil
I try to express the deepest of emotions

On this once blank loose leaf
That I now read to it's fullest
I find that though I wrote about nothing

On this one piece of parchment
About nothing at all it seems
Is full of something you feel, not just see


Details | Free verse | |

Love Poem Generator

I was trawling the internet yesterday and came
across the Love Poem Generator
I thought, disgusted, you can’t generate a love poem
it’s like having sex and calling it generating a baby
you’re taking all the passion out of it.


Details | Free verse | |

To the beginning and over but Never Out

Oh please, I plead
Listen to my beseech
I raise my hands out to you
take them please

In this dark void I walk through
there is no comfort
no warmth
no joy

slowly it leaches out all that I hold
when will I ever reach the end?
Do you know where the end is?
Is the end where the end of the end is?

Lost, dazed, confused
Did God pluck me out
and strand me here?

three doors, three paths, three choices
one Mundane

ransom me out
an open cage, such as this atramentous nightmare
no end
no path

Is there hope? 
Hope is where light is
is the light at the end where darkness is not?
is the light where the light always materializes from?

                                                                                where
                              is
                                                                                                     it?


Details | Free verse | |

Metaphysical cutup

It is not that I love you less
When first my lines of heavenly Joyes
made mention 
	through regions farr divided 
see with what simplicity 
      see! With what constant motion
Philosophers have measured mountains 
Man, dreame no more of curious mysteries
	Oh wearisome condition of humanity !
Oh might Nothing ! Unto thee 
O Joyes ! Infinite sweetness! With what flowers
	
	Must I then see, with what busie heart 
	Heare mee, O God!
Blasted with sighs, and surrounded with teares
				Busie old fool , unruly sunne
    Absent from thee I languish still 
O sweet and bitter monuments of paine
	Out upon it , I have lov'd  
Sweet day , so cool , so calm , so bright 
	where do these voices stray 
like to the falling of a starre
Poet and Saint ! To thee alone are given
A ward , and still in bonds, one day

All my past life is mine no more 
	How vainly men themselves amaze
dazel'd thus with height of place 
	Here lies wise and valiant dust.


Details | Free verse | |

Heartless Fire

In my fervent heart,
You knew I treasured you
But you didn’t return those tender feelings
Just see the fumes arise from the consuming fire
Because my wicked desires wasted away into embers
I love you…I love you…These feelings are ever so new!
I LOVE YOU…I love you…These feelings are always true!
You knew I honestly adored you…oh yeah; I always did from the start
But you don’t consider those mild feelings—you wrecked those bits by bits
Ah! Now I’m crammed into the ascending fire, splintering me with the strokes of death
Because of my virtuous desires, I’m wasting away into the pit of corruption
I thought you were encompassed with my passionate kisses
But you wanted to chase after your callous blisses, now I’m faced with crises
I detest the thought of adoring you…but I have to admit—I love you!
I love you…I love you with all of my heart! Do you love me too?
I know the desires that I have constructed for you never occurred in your heart
I know in the bottom of my heart that you were only enticed by your sick pleasures
You’re dumping me into the raging fire and you’re a sneaky little liar
Because I ain’t lying like you do deceitfully to me—I’m in love and I can’t draw back my desire
You brought magnificence in my eyes, comforting angel
But I’m subsiding into the cavernous fire
Because I surrender to my legit desire
How could I free from the embrace that yanks on to me?
You brighten up my dreams and set me free from reality’s calamity
I love you…I love you…These feeling relieve me from the blue!
I LOVE YOU…I love you…I adore your every existence—do you get the clue?
You knew I kept this feeling inside for so long
Nevertheless, I feel that I belong
In your heart…In His heart…
In my heart…we’ll never depart!
You are my true endeavor
And I wanna win your heart forever!
You’ll always be loved because you’re above beautiful
But, you don’t believe this love will survive in this stranded palace
But I’ll attempt to win you with all of my might and I’ll defeat the malice
Our boundless love is like two fireflies floating in the midnight sky
But you disturbed our greetings and you didn’t even accept the feelings I felt for you
Why did you blow away our interweaved feelings of passion
And blew them away into the heartless fire?
My precious love, why did you diminish my eternal desire?
You knew I worshiped you
In my sensitive heart


Details | Free verse | |

World Cutup

what from the founder Aesop fell
	vital spark of heavenly flame
	unto my thinking thou beheld'st all works

	Who ever weeps somewhere out in the world
	Yellow butterflies 
A dream of Venus 
	let nothing disturb thee
	music first and foremost of all
Mystical Strains unheard 
No, I am not, as other are 
since I am convinced 
	hoping all the time 
I arise from dreams of thee 
	Here , Where the world is quiet 
	For many thousand ages 
	Break Break Break 
Even 
	Far as Man can see 
lest you should think that verse shall die 
	A Thing which fades 
	I found at daybreak yester morn 
 low on chromed cloud 
		open to me 
		Remember what past 
Pity! Mourning plaintive tone 
Since I am convinced 
	That time , I see you passing by 
Thou art one , The first of every number and foundation of every structure 
	Break Break Break.


Details | Free verse | |

AfterLife

Bleeding so painfully...I escape the light
 I try to forget the hardships...brewing in life
 But, it's too hard to live this life...this life
 
Breathing so heavily...I fade away into the night
 I try to forget my past...it slits me like a knife
 But, it's too hard to live this life...this life
 
Fight away the monster in my heart
 Throw away my sorrow...Take away my wretchedness
 Burn away the hideous rage...tearing me apart
 Take away the anger...renew my joyfulness
 
Oh God...please forgive me...
 I long for Your cheerfulness... to set me free!
 
Bleeding so dreadfully...I pray for delight
 I try to pray for mercy...for this pain is too much to bear
 But it's too hard to live this life...this life...
 
Fighting back tears...I discover His light
 I try to pray for comfort...and I know He is there
 I pray for His wisdom...to scare away the strife
 And escape from the darkness
 
I look forward to the afterlife
 When there's no sorrow or pain...
      When there's no manipulation...no evilness...
   no violence...no craftiness... 
Replayed...replayed...
 
Someday...someday 
That time will come!


Details | Rhyme | |

Crumbs of Deception

...A poem dedicated to a character named Koreen Mae Garson (a lady, not a man)... 

Your love smokes me like a worn-out cigarette Your love blemishes me with bite marks You brush aside the crumbs…now I’m stomped on all over again Your hugs are constricting like a serpent Your hugs loses its passion…my fury vigorously sparks You abandon me cold-bloodedly, now I choke in harsh punishment Your treachery strangles me…you don't consider my screams of importance You snatch away my humility and leave me with the crumbs of shame Your arrogance plants a grave in me…you don't notice that I desire your radiance You ditch me with senseless remarks and you make me feel game You ruin my modesty You stole away my heart’s virtue You bruise my sustaining dynasty You complete me with rue Your conceitedness intoxicates me… Your arrogance underwhelm thee… You unscramble my remains and insert me with the liquid of corruption Your self-confidence leads me to never-ending fate…you disregard my joy You handle me with maltreatment/enchantment and smudge me with your provoking expression You crushed me with your cunning plans, now you made me hunt after my prized boy Your hatred penetrates me with lush, crooked trace You swap me onto the floor, now I’m smashed into smithereens Your smiles lose its splendor...your enlightenment gains disgrace You disown me carelessly…now I spilled your moldering beans You’re imprisoned by the chains of infuriating heat, Feeding off the crumbs of deception


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Writer

If you want to be a writer, you might as well forget money, forget richness, forget happiness, the ink pierces your skin- in, out, in, out, such a pattern of mourning- it strips all pride in hopes you'll quit- give up- like they all do. You might as well sign the contract of death- to die before any work-if that even is published, or merely acknowledged. The steps of becoming one with the pen, and page- begin with hurt there's no way you can achieve a smile when a thousand doubts are slapping your face. Mocking you so you're locked up in your own world- without a key. The pity emphasizes the fact you're unknown and from that you always will be hopes and dreams are stomped on while you continue to change the world with a single line- 7 syllables; I want to be a writer. Well of course you do- but can you run through the eternal disaster? Hoping you get through without a single scar single scratch, blood only kept within. That's the defining moment- blood seeping through- searing feeling of the climax and then it all ends.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Prose Mine Prys

‘At play with words’

Cork thine eyes 
Cloaking lucent verbose halls 
Surely binding shutting tight 

Cork thine eyes 
Clutching goblet sipping falls 
Drunk seduction bending sight 

Prose mine prys 
Gather up my scrolling drawls 
Paging through the spite 

Prose mine prys 
Splitting metaphors with mauls 
Swindle word codle the blight 

This poem explained

Shut your eyes 
Shade your bright and wordy thoughts 
Absolutely shut off your mind 

Shut your eyes 
Drink from the fountain of lies of the rich 
Allow yourself to be seduced and become blind 

My ordinary words chip away 
Read what I have written 
They are memorable moments of contempt 

My ordinary words chip away 
I chop up what I write with metaphors 
The negative meanings of what I write deceives with tenderness

T.R.Sevrens


Details | Free verse | |

Bubbles

 
eyes closed 
I blow 
emptying my heart..
The sad bubble rises 
carrying my woes
heavenward
 


Details | Free verse | |

Your Insight

You are powerful even in the darkest of days... I prayed for Your insight
Night and Day...every pondering moment.
You responded to my prayers in many unique ways...You made my spirit take flight 
What should I say? You scrubbed off my lament. 

You relieved me from distress
You fearlessly strengthened my hope 
and frayed my fear
Now I'm in high spirits with freewill and delight...
and I must confess
You wiped away the boundless tears, shattering my negativity...
your love is crystal clear now!

Am I still that hovering angel...yearning for some light?
Am I still that naive spirit, giving in to the darkness and seeking plight?

I know God loves me, but I doubt Him still
God revealed His love with my whole family...but i don't feel right
I know God cares for us, I see no sign of Him or His will... 
God dealt with us with patience and kindness, but I can't yield on to His radiance so full of might

You are fruitful even in the darkest hours...I prayed for Your delight
To fall upon me day and night...effecting my every thought process
You promised me Your blessings and upcoming Kingdom every time I consider Your Word... You made my dreams come true and lingered around me despite
My bitter, spiteful words that I didn't mean to say... Is there any hope that I'll ever be successful during this time of cheerlessness 

But, I believe God is a merciful creator!!


Details | Rhyme | |

Heavenly Tree

Ghostlike rage Haunts me…it smothers me… I can’t handle the smell of burning sage It overpowers me…will I EVER be free? Sweltering rage Grasps on to me…it bothers me… I can’t expose my courage on stage It’s horrendous…will you EVER pay the fee? Childlike mirth Reigns upon me…It chases after me... I can’t let loose my youthful imagination, flipping page to page It towers over me…will I EVER joyfully flee? Heavenly birth Recoils from affliction… tracking me down… I can’t shed the grief that lead to rage It pulls me back…will I EVER be a budding tree?


Details | Quatrain | |

Laity

From Greek laos = people
The common state of life in the church
Baptized, non-ordained Christians
Who belong to the people of God

11302011


Details | Free verse | |

He Cured Infection

The hardships of my life
Are like a clump of maggots digging through my skin
They are deep within...
How do I inspect them? Where do I begin
When I am in profound distress and sin?

I’m infected…but yet You healed me from all illnesses
I’m defected…but yet You cleanse me from any blemishes or messes
I’m dejected…but You certainly lift up my spirits
But I’m far from being resurrected…I’m ruefully neglected

Jaded by the nightmares…striking me with discord
Like a released sheep roaming in the plains of fate
How do I encounter with my shepherd?
Are we ever going to integrate?
When I’m a lost, stray animal…trampled down by a frown,
Worn-out by my regret and knowing my demise is my royal crown
I’m infected…but yet You healed me from all diseases
I’m defected…but yet You purified me from any filth or squalidness
I’m dejected…but You certainly lift up my spirits

I’m infected…but yet You healed me from all wretches
I’m defected…but yet You cleanse me from any blemishes or messes
I’m dejected…but You certainly pumped up my heart
But, Lord I’m far from being resurrected…I’m contritely mistreated
I’m infected…but yet You dealt with all of my despair
I’m defected…but yet You cured me with blessings you address
I’m dejected…but You definitely rely on my faith that I kindly share
But I’m aching recklessly…but I’m still in progress!

The tribulations of my life
Are like a cluster of wasps, stinging me with vigor in my shin
They puncture me deep within…
How do I infect their nests? Where do I begin
When I am in profound melancholy and cave in

Tell me, Almighty Lord, why do the demons ensnare me with their curses?
They won’t break the tension…in these godforsaken verses!


Details | Prose Poetry | |

One For Love

Your sweet breath escapes you and engulfs my soul 
Through words spoken as though from some celestial being 
Warm emotion floods me, floods my very fibrous core 
Love I feel is not a mere four letter 

Word that reluctantly man takes for granted, but more a 
Monument to the jubilous fire you set my soul alight with 
Speak, I cannot, the true magnitude of shear bliss 
Endured by my mortal flesh. With the slightest brush 
Of your angelic fingers. None can know or fathom 
what true insurmountable beauty lies within 
green fields of yet discovered highland plains laden with 
flowers and sweet honey aroma blows within. Feeble 
in my attempts to profess my own meek emotions 
turmoil of my own past colliding with the yet to be. I destroy 
myself knowing such turmoil I cause in an entity 
none like yourself. Meager apology and material possessions 
offer no hint of emotion of love and remorse contained 
My, love, our love, will endure of that much I am sure. Open my mind 
My only wish, to show you things I need you to see. I have known 
No strength such as yours you take for granted. Times as this 
I've never known but with you only would I have it to spend. Forget 
Not the who I was, the who I am, and the who I will be. 
My love, our love will endure of that much I am sure 
 
Monotony & Mundane remain the same 
caught in this slippery pretty net 
we're all falling in and around our own whirlpools 
our upward spiral climbs too high - the higher up the further down 
Fly the same play the same one with the other 
floating always floating 
This sea we've created weaved in the merciless 
fabric of the time we all flock to certain death 
holding the hands of our clocks & wondering why 
our own bleed. double edged is the face of 
a sundial. With each shadow flicker anguish & 
joy death & life exist permanently & are lost forgotten 
by time held by life lost by eternity. 
Let's all rally hand in hand while the band 
plays on 


Details | Quatrain | |

What do we mean by grievous matter

By ‘grievous matter’ with regard to sin mean that the thought
Word or deed which is committed must be either bad in itself
Or severely prohibited
And therefore sufficient to make a mortal sin if we deliberately yield to it


Details | Rhyme | |

the River Ouse aghast

down past the cold undercurrents of 
Virginia's Woolf, and Sylvia's wrath
searching through their darkest hearts
too many writers take another path

from fulfillment, and in their cups
awash with sullen antidepressants
pondering if they'll get enough
of life to even get past the present

burrowing and borrowing monofilaments
temptingly entice, dangling and dancing
just below the smooth-surfaced water
flashing jiggs luring joys enhancing

errant molucules are a hapless find
when there's no bonding in our life
and easy outs seem a preferable mind
than living lost in depressive strife

still, there's a tenuous line to living
and struggle is the never ending rule
depression fills the soul with misgiving
to feed life's fires with suicidal fuel

yet, who am i to say that they're wrong,
to not be bright with fulfilling spirit
pocketed with weighty depressive stones
a merciful end may have it's merits

but i'll not write in acquiescence
of preferring ending of days prematurely 
my preference would tend to senescence
my life I think, is too precious, surely

© Goode Guy 2012-01-03

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Woolf
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvia_Plath
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Writers_who_committed_suicide
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Poets_who_committed_suicide
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/senescence


Details | Rhyme | |

LONELINESS

Something is missing in my life,
I feel wounded and hurt inside;
This kind of feeling is hard to bear,
I know I'll struggle just to find you there.

Just like the moon without the sun,
Light disappears as the darkness is felt by everyone;
Incompleteness is felt in the air,
As the breeze roars my cry else where.

Along the roads of nowhere,
Is an unending sorrows to suffer;
The beauty of being so left out,
Full of guilt and doubt.

As the others celebrate with glee,
I celebrate the feeling of displeased;
Where else should I go, Does anyone know?,
When will this lonely feeling of mine go?.

Though at time I learned to trust,
But was replaced with so called “mistrust”;
A laugh for joy throughout the years,
But that was before I felt this fear.

Alone so cold, no hands to hold,
Feeling of emptiness, a so called loneliness;
In the dark side of the earth and in the outside world,
“I am lonely will someone come stay with me”.


Details | I do not know? | |

Trapped, Alone

Failure to plan on your part
Doesn’t mean an emergency on my part
That is what today over the radio I heard
And as sharp as an arrow in my heart it stung

Now it’s almost a month
Since on the boat of chance I jumped
	...hoping for luck
I’d heard enough of my big dreams banging my head
Now here I am, so worried of what’s ahead

I know all about that positivity stuff
In fact I write about it trying to earn some cash
But man, how tough it is to live off art in this part of Africa
The society looks at me with suspicious eyes for they do not understand

I am a lone ranger in a range full of cons
I am a range rover in a range full of thorns
I try my best to improve my all
But always to reality’s end I fall short

Sometimes I wish to be back to the home that didn’t foster my hope
Sometimes I wish to be helped by the dad I’ve never known
But all the time life shouts upon me the reality that I’m alone
Oh, I know I gotta stay to fulfil my purpose
	...but sometimes I wish I was gone


Details | Free verse | |

Family Tree

Our family tree will never stop growing…our faith and comfort will never crumble
Love grows here…so have no fear—God is near
My family, though packed up with pride and low self-esteem, still appears humble
Mirth produces joy and our hope gives birth to cheer

God is our Father; who could play this role as skillfully? Who, other than God, created the world so genuinely?
Love comes from He…so scare away the anxiety—God will grant us ecstasy
My family, though packed up with hope and despair, cherishes my soul with glee
Rebirth and life comes from He and our faith should draw near to thee

"i love you sweet boy..we will have fun this summer and be a close and godly family..nighty nit my light"
This summer, I am positive that we will be a close and godly family
But we must be lights of the world…and we must be willing to finish that race of hardships to earn His dignity
By all means, we will have an enjoyable break without paying a fee
But we must be God’s faithful followers…and we must be prepared to follow our Shepherd who is the key

Of never-ending faith and comfort, nourishing us abundantly
He still exists…He unravels the insanity
Of this world and set us free from blasphemy
Watching over us with pure vitality

Give us Your water
Don’t leave us in the gutter
Listen to the words we mutter

I pray that our family tree will look up to you devotedly


Details | I do not know? | |

Vessels

Though the crease begins to crumble
These old pages still run blue
Currents pulse beneath the surface
Pen-leaked ink that bled your truths
Pen-spun words that writhe like veins
Under skin and paper skies
Cold to touch, crept through your core
Settled clear in frozen eyes

So I’ll read you like a book
And I’ll write you pretty lies
Just to fill the empty space 
That’s revealed between the lines
Won’t you move a little closer?
Let it spill into your ear
The tide of breath that harboured
All the words you want to hear

Well I tried to kiss it better
Blood and bones to fuse the cleft
Bruised and broken, lips split open
From the effort, nothing’s left
So you say that I’m a sinner
Preach of hearts and ribs and fists
Well I may have made the plunge 
But you revelled in the twist

Now you’re tearing at your wounds
Sanctimonious with pain
Because it helps you ‘hear the music’
Yeah, it helps you play the game
If I pour a little salt
Will you smear it in your eyes?
Feel its grain twist round your lids
As you soliloquise

About the blame you tried to forge 
All the nights you wept and claimed
‘You can’t comprehend the world
Balanced firm between these blades’
No one told you it’s a lie 
And the story really goes
Constellations, superstitions
Are that Ancient’s only load

All the pretty rhymes and perfect crimes
You try to hide behind
Well they just serve to remind me
How you once spoke those old lines – 
‘Your tongue is as a rudder
Guiding vessels safe through storms
Moving mountains with inflections
Making ripples in reflections
Hollowed hull meets hallowed shores’


Details | Free verse | |

You Are Jamming My Dreams

I wait crossly
To get picked up straightaway
I wait optimistically
To step into the murky bowels of my car

I can’t advance…
When you’re dragging me to your feet
I can’t progress…
When you’re motivating me to be incomplete

I wait at ease
To get a ride home
I wait with heaps of crotchetiness
To jam myself into the jumbled car

I can’t drive on…
When you’re creating traffic in my dreams
I can’t carry on as fast
When you’re taking your time on the freeway,
Though your obedience beams

You’re jamming my dreams, sweet dream catcher
You’re liveliness gleams…It’s not what it seems... (2)
It’s certainly not what it seems…
Blame it on my dreams!
You’re just a dream come true…
It’s nothing that popped out of the blue…
It’s not that surprising
If you only knew…
Oh, you don’t have a clue…
This infatuation is positively true!

I can’t move on…I can’t drive on… (2)
I can’t ride on the road to victory…
I can’t burst forth by dashing proudly
Until you hit the brakes and cease from
Jamming my exotic dreams

I can’t travel on… I can’t light up the sky…
I can’t dream on and on and on
I can’t drift on and on
I can’t…I can’t move on
I can’t… I can’t!
Until you inspire me to gleam!

(the whispers grow soundless)
I can’t drive on…
I can’t drive on…
I can’t drive on…
I can't...I can't...
I just can't,
Dear friend...
*silence*


Details | Quatrain | |

What effect has sloth upon the soul


Sloth begets in a soul
A spirit of indifference
In our spiritual duties and
A disgust for prayer

11272011


Details | Verse | |

How is enough

It must be asked how we ended up here.  
For this place is perilous and wondrous and necessary.
Who has brought us here? 
Our own self deliverance? 
Our own self loathing? 
Perhaps

But I believe our way out is still the way in
Subjugation?
Perhaps

"How" is the only justification
The only "reason"
The only "why"
This "how" embodies the soul.

Remember the soul?

This "how" embodies the very essence of all
For it is my belief that this "how" embraces the necessary as well as the unnecessary
I embrace the me that should be cast away. 
I have held (cradled) the part of me that does me harm and promises the false….

No more

I lovingly hold that part dear and let it fade. 
It must be and it shall.
I must be more 
but no more than that.


Details | Rhyme | |

Heaps of Wretchedness

Numbness prevails over me,
Masking me… sending me pangs of suppression
Deadness tears its way inside of me,
Consuming me… devouring me with yanks of oppression

Darkness frowns upon me,
Dragging me down…sending me scraps of sadness
Gloominess molds me inside and out,
Chasing after me…surrendering to my wretchedness

Shadiness lurks above me and it wildly swarms,
Murdering me…scarring me with my unbroken misery
Murkiness blankets over us like troubled storms,
Shaking us up…bribing me with heaps of boundless fury

Edginess overrides me like a wraithlike form,
Misleading me…sneering at my failures and agony
Blurriness absorbs in this uncanny terrain…no sign of storm
Still, I’m withering into sand, grinding into shards of tragedy


Details | Sijo | |

Mental Poetry

With this mind I create, written words of unspoken depth
It comes freely, effortlessly, as if it were a God sent gift
The creations flow, an enraged stream, mental poetry.


Details | Quatrain | |

O Jesus Christ

To turn away from You is to fall
To You is to stand
To remain in You is
To have a sure support

11282011


Details | I do not know? | |

need to write

I need to write..
I need to sit down,
Think about this mess,
& write..
I need to write..
I need to express how I feel,
I need to write,
I need to keep this real,
I need to write;
If you can’t be true to yourself,
How can anyone else be tru to you?
I guess I need to write..
I need to gather all my thoughts,
Put em in line & write,
Hmm..
I need to write..
I need to write…
So much goin through my head,
Who can I tell it to?
*Sighh* I need to write..


Details | Free verse | |

Bleeding Shame

I write to impress,
Nothing less than self-humiliation will do
Humor in the darkest form
Suffering at our own hands,
Deriving pleasure from our pain
Painting the sky black with our fears;
Our sins drawing blood from our shame
The heaviest penance is that of our own
We lay crushed
Dying,
A victim of homicide
Killed by the crimes of a man,
Existing only in a world where we cannot


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Great Existence

Moving up over through 
Into
All I've known is felt through the end 
Never a beginning always ending
Falter as I may, myself I hold - alone in company 
Tress in to limestone pillars of my great hall 
Great as the Norse and proud as well
Threads of time woven with clumsy hands led by blind eyes 
Thus is the expanse of the web of life The Great Existence 
Not where but it's the being that is. Is what I am and 
What we are


Details | Quatrain | |

What are chief sources of sin

Chief sources are Seven
Pride, Greed, Lust
Anger, Gluttony, Envy and Sloth or laziness
Commonly called 7 Capital Sins or 7 Deadly Sins 


Details | Free verse | |

Wandering In Myself

With pen and paper
I sit here and wander,
    what there is
     that I could possibly ponder
worth writing
for someone to read.

Waterfalls
with sunlight cascading,
with the mists
twisting their way
through a green canopy
to the south 
as I look at 
the panoramic view
from a rock ledge,
on a stone face
hundreds of feet up.

Lying down,
   broken and confused,
lyrical thoughts
   pass harmonicly,
landing within reach
   of the parchment
                    its inked on,
lasting long enough
   to get a verse or two.

Letting ones mind 
   race and wander,
learning the art
   of insanity,
loving nothing
   with a heart of stone
loathing not having 
   someone to write about.


Details | Free verse | |

College Essay

Two days before the deadline.
Fingers flying frantically,
Condensing a lifetime’s achievement
In 500 words or less.  

Eyes are bloodshot from the long night, spent
Staring and scanning every line, every blip
With the careful precision of a surgeon.  

Secretly beautifying my faults 
Like an embalmer, decorating wounds,
To make even a dead body presentable.  
 
All to impress anonymous judges  
Who are endowed with the authority 
To confirm my life’s worth.

Judges who grade lives—
Out of a pool of million—
Superficial enough to be condensed
In 500 words or less.   


Details | I do not know? | |

Pentecost


Fom Greek pentecoste = the fiftieth day after Easter
Originally feast on whichIsrael celebrated 
The establishment of the covenant with God
On Mount Sinai
Through the Pentecost event in Jerusalem
It became for Christians the feast of the Holy Spirit

11302011


Details | Quatrain | |

What is mortal sin


Mortal sin is grievous offense against the law of God
This sin is called mortal because it deprives us of spiritual life
Sanctifying grace
Brings everlasting death and damnation of the soul


Details | Quatrain | |

What is Gluttony


Gluttony like Greed
Excessive desire of Food or Drink
Part of7 Capital sins or 7 Deadly sins
Jesus Christ requires one to confess


Details | Free verse | |

' Lost Poems '

Only A Poet Would Understand
Only A Writer Will Know…
Why I Would Feel This Disheartened and
Why I Can’t Shake Writer’s Woe… 

… I Lost 200 Poems or More
Tho’ The Exact Count Doesn’t Matter
Most of What I’d Written Before
… is  no  longer  gathered

A Circumstantial Mishap
My Family Didn’t Realize
That Case… That Mildewed, was a Map
Of My Flight thru Vision-Skies!

Eclectic, Romantic, maybe Eccentric
… also of Favorite Things and Fantasy
… Kinetic, Static or Copacetic
And Sojourns into Soliloquy

… Only A Poet Would Understand
Only A Writer Will Know
Those Exact, Precise – Phrases, won’t come again
… I can only end-up where they go…

Lost Type-of-Line, Pencil-Points of Lead
Lost Sonnets, Songs and Secrets Said
Now, Instead of Ink-Blots, My Tear-Stains Spread
Those Lost Words… Ripped My Throat to Shreds !

… Lost Track … Lost The Time …
Lost Treasure – Can’t Find Rhyme
Lost That Paper-Trail… of Where I’d Been
Lost Paper-Peace –that was Marked:  Amen

and I’d Rather Have Lost My Money
‘Cause I Can Always Earn A Dime…
Instead of My Increased Memory
that Remembers This Literary Crime ! 

… Lost Documentation of Determination
Documentation of Dreams
… My Certificates of Celebrations
… My Tickets To My Park-Themes:

… of Snowflakes to Raindrops
From Heartaches to Heartthrobs
From Whispers to Declarations
Of Best Friends, and Far-Vacations

200 Trains of Thought – Wrecked
200 Expose’ Sheets – Axed
200 Treatises, Throwed Away, Gone…
… on Tragedies, Joys, Jokes and Moans

… Yet, I Rely On God, to Resurrect The Dead:
My Older-Sister, Brother, Grandma, Mom And Dad
and … if its not too silly, vain or bad…
Resurrect Those Words, I Wrote and I Meant to be Read…

Until then… 

Only A Poet Would Understand
And Only A Writer Would Suppose …
If I Do Not Write Again
What Lost Poems You’ll Never Know…


Details | Acrostic | |

Behind the Wall

Willfully erected..obstructing..
    emotional velocity halted..
Armor.. imprisoning..
    safe and secure.. spiritless..
Layers of pain.. eclipse 
    and enclose..restricting ..
Languish not behind the wall..
    surrender to the magnitude of emotion..
Escape the enchantment of safety..
    passions unleashed.. fireworks erupting
Delight in the wonder of Love..
    thrill to the sensations of life!
    ~ rejoice as the bricks tumble..
    ~ shout as the wall falls....


Details | Free verse | |

My life is not a joke

It's not easy to put yourself out like this
sabatoge your fantasies
and write down life experiences
glad you are enjoying my 15 year nervous breakdown
but you are laughing at my life
and why i write is to inform you
my life is not a joke

I am a human being
who tries probably harder than you
who sees the blessings in everything
and its unfortunate for soo many they see so few
it's not easy to inform an apathetic world
whats going on in my life
and not take it personal
when you laugh at my attempts at talking myself out of suicide

Talk about ripping my heart open
to give you a laugh
you write such pretty creative things
i write in an attempt to heal
the whole statement here is my life is not a joke
but obviously its humorous
and in time i will learn to put up another wall
i'm sure whatever joke i am fits me like a glove

One of the few things stopping me from giving the world what i thought god wanted from me
and now i'm going to stop
just thought i would inform you
my pain to me is very real
ignorance is bliss i guess
and i can't take that from you
but its been taken from me

I learned the hard way not to trust anyone
love is a trick to get someone else to do what you want
a disease is something you get when someone doesn't love you back
mental anguish and confusion of self medicating go hand in hand
leave you to surrender to the realisation
those ennabling you with street remedies are trying to kill you
and those are facts
the whole point of writing this
lately anyway, is to show myself im not a joke
you want something funny, go look at the other online books i've written 
and laugh at that

My last attempt at having faith in the world
i guess it shouldn't come so easy to someone totally destroyed
emotionally and mentally
and my diagnosis
I get it now
it's funny
lost to myself again
my life isn't a joke
but im sure the punchline of my death
will be attractive to every comedian


Details | Rhyme | |

Moods of Mania

        Manic Depression is all she can say, Manic Depression her moods swing
        that way.
        One minute she's up, one minute she's down, like riding on a constant
        Merry-Go-Round.
        So if she doesn't answer her front door or the phone it only means please,
        leave her alone.
        And do not  take it personally these manic phases that you see, it's a 
        chemical imbalance inside her brain that makes her act a little insane.


Details | Free verse | |

Watertown Minnesota

The Cafe lights glow with the 
resisting urge to dim
It's not long before the darkness consumes
this little town I find myself in tonight
Pouring rain, pounding thunder make it hard 
to keep my smokes alive
Shackled beneath a gas station overlay
I count the money in my pocket
Forty, maybe fifty bucks including change
I find an empty car close to the nearest liquor store
jack up the handle and bundle up for the night
The contents inside include a half eaten blueberry muffin
cold coffee, and a dated CD 
I hate blueberries
I pull out what juice is left of my tin stash 
pour it into the nearly empty Holiday cup
To my surprise, the mixture ain't half bad
I slip away with the sound of beating rain
For my self destruction leads to another man's creation
I fall asleep


Details | I do not know? | |

What's from beneath

Unable to succeed in my dreams
A yearning of what I need to let go
Is impatiently dying to be freed
and spread it's wings
I feel like there is someone else inside of me
scratching it's way out-while I bleed
Internally,prefusally
spreading rapidly-like a deathwish disease
But I always make sure I keep my dark past
And my mistakes buried deep
Aching,ever slowly breaking
And piece by piece taking
All of the nothing left I say is a lot
Of everything I don't really have
In denial-I believe
I'm afraid of waking up tomorrow
Drowning in my deep blue sea of sorrows
Will somebody please get me awake?
'Cause, I don't go to sleep to dream any longer 


Details | Romanticism | |

Writing my words

I sit here often and write on paper these words
Cause this is the only way to which they can release me and be heard
I write exactly how I feel inside
I do not diminish any emotions I will not let them any longer hide
These poems I write are heartfelt to some so I'm told
Within these words is my way of daring to be bold
They leave my heart open wide, so extremely vulnerable, and left to bleed
And it's left here to plead
Here in these words of rhyme, is pieces of me shared
If one looks they will see my very soul is completely bared
Begging for mercy from all I feel and relive everyday
Remembering everything in every way
From what dances inside my head deep in the dark of night
It's the why I feel all this writing is for me so right
I feel in writing them, I get to have him again
He is my everything, the one who knows me better then my closest friend
Then I see him in the distance so close yet so far away
I long to be with him and love him so much more everyday
So yes, I write on paper and share with you these very words
As it's my only way in my moments here, and my mind in re-living my past, they can be 
recalled easily, then so truly quietly and every so loudly be heard


Details | Free verse | |

Crooked crooks, babbling brook

In this crooked chair i sit
at this crooked table
at this crooked desk
and write my crooked thoughts
looking out the crooked window
out onto the crooked crooked street
thinking about how crooked the world is
when suddleny is top and realise
the crooked people arent crooks
everything is crooked
crooked jails
crooked hospitlas
crooked business men lawyers and politiicians
crooked churches crooked steeples
crooked believers crooked people

it was perfect perfect and crooked
crookedly perfect
perfect people
perfect houses
perfect airplanes
and perfect yachts
perfect make me sick 
keeping up with the joneses
perfect white teeth
perfect bodies
perfect hair
perfect health
thwey werent crooked?
were they?

croooked like me?
crooked like them crooked in a world full of rooked people and the crookedest 
thing to do was to stand straight
and make a show of it!!

whose going to replace all of this crooked ness and turn this beautiful now?


Details | Burlesque | |

When the Blues Is Bad News

Oh, yeah, momma.
I got'z de blues today,
Funny thing is,
Why I gotz it, I can't say,
Ain't nobody I'z KNoz,
Who dunn dyed 2day,
Ain't got no nu bills,
What I kant aford te pay,
Empty pochits, 
I dunn be uzed te' dem' now,
I no I'z survive sumhow,
So bak to da bahroom,
for anudder Tanguiry
Mayb pike up my spirutz
What can I say?
Wowry bout tomaro
When dat daze son do shine,
But up intill den, eye ant
Gonea wuwee n i aint gonea wine.


Diz B 4 Shar, smile, god damn it!!


Details | Free verse | |

Outdated Copywriter


Outdated Copywriter 

There is some old websites we are not sure where the people went they 
disappeared and left the website running and people just continue using it? The 
copywrite usually just says 1995 and the people where they went are they even 
still alive? The Outdated copywriter lives in the old shoe with the goose and the 
mother of the children two? Will the website still survive in 2095? 
 
           
 
 
 Outdated Copywriter     
 
Page 1 of 1 


Details | Free verse | |

The Disturbed Poetic Mind

Red calligraphy ink splattered across the blank parchment-
She was done, done with it all
Her own self had taken control-
Full of wisdom she waited, shaking intensely
The crimson grimaced on the sadistic paper-
Knowing she had given up
It seemed as if it were chanting at her in a guiltless manner
‘You’re supposed to be sooooo smart’
It mocked,
She could not find the vitality to combat the evil force any longer-
She collapsed into the musky corner-
Knowing she was concealed from the wickedness
Then her mind began to race-
Who was she anymore?
She had turned-
Into something almost demonic herself
She could not locate the audacity to even face her mirror
How would she know-
That she was no longer herself?
It was that moment that her consciousness escaped,
Feeling any relevant thought slip away she whispered-
‘All I wanted was to heal the loneliness, to find a cure.’


Details | I do not know? | |

Zophrenia

I am sitting at my desk, 
where are you where have you gone, 
are you coming back? 
words my sweet words, 
they make me strong, 
Tara’s theme again in my head,
 how can I sing my song?

Oh hello , why is your head held low, 
it need not be you know,
 I am alright, 
forgot my meds last night, 
and who is this your doggie Fred, 
strange you two are? 
you know you are not allowed in here,
 the sign says no horses and no dogs allowed.
 I know I know but you must go, 
not to worry about me.
 I have my words my words set me free.
In them I can say what I want, 
what I am feeling too.
 I know she keeps reminding me, 
”take your meds and the others before bed, too”

But taking them I lose my words,
 then you are gone. 
And I am left all alone.

EXHALE


Details | Lyric | |

The Blank Page

On this blank page where I 
Type down an empty life, 

Thoughts juggle, in and out, 
To and fro, again and 

Again, trying to look 
For ways to muse, but it 

Will be better when there’s 
A paradigm, but there’s

None to be found. Perhaps, 
I just can’t figure it.

Ahh, it will be best that 
...I don’t find it at all.

Or maybe, this blank page 
Is too kind, to me, ‘cos...

Who surely knows what evil I’ll unwittingly expose? 


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Valentine's Day Birthday

My sweet Ruby's birthday,
Naturally on Valentine's day,
In her honor, the NY city of Beacon
Will close their schools!
Ain't that a kick?
Though, sadly, 
She seems to be "missing in action" lately,
Many wonder why,
She is so loved on this site,
Many of us cry....
So come back home,
To the five and dime,
We'll even through in some 
Jimmy Dean sausages!!!

Or, as Kenny Roger's first song went,
"Ruby, don't take your poems to town!"


Details | Romanticism | |

Lost and found

Never would've thought in my younger years
I would be here now with all these damn tears
Tears that seem to continually fall like a hard rain
Why does love cause anyone to be in such lonely pain
In my childhood dreams I believed I'd find love with no strings and no games
Thought someone would love me just the same
I foreseen my life being pure bliss
I never foreseen my life as this
how was I to know in my past
That up to now I would never find love to last
Wanted to be a wife and mother and do my part
Instead I find myself alone trying to make yet another new start
Isn't funny how love can grab on to your soul
Make you lose yourself and not quite have control
Love can take hold of your heart
And if you don't watch out sometimes it can tear you apart
Not saying it happens every time or to everyone
But sadly it really does happen to some
Be careful remember lead with not your heart but your mind
You life as you know it is not always so kind
Don't keep turning a blind eye
If he's leaving you all the time
With nothing to do but have tears to cry
Get to really know and understand him from the inside
Telling him how I feel I have began
I have a long way to go 
And more to say
But for me words only come easy when writing them on this page
I need to for surely tell him and would pay all it cost
Because not telling him everything will continue to leave me feeling lost
I keep right on hoping as I look around
That one day soon I will be again found


Details | Free verse | |

Shar Was There

Lots'a stuff happening,
some a bit scary....
Places I seem soon destined to go,
I grow a little wary
But every posted fear,
Every second thought I mused,
Shar was there....
She rebuilt my confidence,
So I'm on the road again,
Sure I had a scare,
But Shar was there...
Other times I'd get sad,,
Wanna give up,
Sit stock still in a chair,
Point it at the wall,
Devoid of every care...
Contemplating if I dare....
From such thoughts away she'd tear,
Cause Shar was there...
When I needed Safe Harbour,
To reconstitute my thought',
I'd read this one poem of hers,
There was the relief I sought..


Details | I do not know? | |

Avenging Treachery

 Taking a walk, easy for some,
But not for me, I couldn’t do it
Thinking of the words,
Why did I leave them, 
I am consumed.
There is no hope for me. 
The constant haunting,
Nagging, pushing out of turn
I have to have them 
They are all I have left.
Oh my sweet wonderful love
Of my life,
Where are you, take me away from here,

Thy blazing blade, tearing, cutting,
Gnawing, at consequences, of my life. 
The torment so majestic, so horrid,
Overwhelming tyranny of my soul.
Vermin waiting for burdens to unfold, 
Their appetites enveloping 
Waiting for their nourishment,
Quell them I know not how.
Solitary doom upon me.

My words surround me now, 
I am protected at last. 
Nothing can break down the barriers,
That protect me.
Wrought words, 
A pleasant feeling of weariness abounds me.
I can sleep now, 
I have made it through another night.

EXHALE


Details | Bio | |

CONFUSED

Lies,Deceit,and Hurtful words,
the truth has to come out is what I was told...

It isn't easy being me,
I'm liked a wrecked ship deep in the sea...

Lost words trying to be found,
thoughts in my head just float around...

Like a solid rock in water,
that continues to drown...

So many things trapped inside,
feelings,anger,and emotions I try to hide...

I try to understand but I don't get it,
like a country girl who leaves town and enters the city...

Trying to see the picture and maintain,
I feel like life is a board game...

I started at home I was depressed,
8 spaces down now I'm stressed,
4 spaces back now it's a mess

As I get closer to home,
I wonder when is this going go end,
Isn't this all apart of sin...

Do anybody else see what I see,
Or am I blind and It's just me...

At the end of the day I continue to pray,
Hoping the lord hear my cries and send help my way...

...copywrited...